#this is the most evil fucking thing i ever posted

[jujus-bizarre-blog]

Some of my favourite Crooked Kingdom quotes :)

So I finished Crooked Kingdom and this post is gonna be a lot less articulate than my last one about the series because...

Who the actual fuck let the last 100 pages of that novel happen???

They were so entertaining but aside from that they had some of the most beautiful sentiments and prose. So I am going to share my favourites from each character's POV in Part Six: Action & Echo :3

Nina: Page 455

"But she hadn't been made for shame."

"Nina had grieved for her loss of power, for the connection she'd felt to the living world. She'd resented this shadow gift. It had seemed like a sham, a punishment. But just as surely as life connected everything, so did death. It was that endless, fast-running river. She'd dipped her fingers into its current, held the eddy of its power in her hand. She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown."

It's such a beautiful sentiment and moment to watch her fully come to love herself again and her new power. I love Nina as a deeply relatable character and this was just so perfect to see her come back to loving and finding herself.

Inej: Page 460

"But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway."

This gave me chills. Everything about this is utterly gut wrenching and feels incredibly relatable. I reread that line probably 4 times before moving on.

Jesper: Page 471

"It's not a gift. It's a curse. But when it came down to it, Jesper's life had been full of blessings. His father. His mother. Inej. Nina. Matthias leading them across the muddy canal. Kaz--even Kaz, with all his cruelties and failings, had given him a home and a family in the Dregs when Ketterdam might have swallowed him whole. And Wylan. Wylan who had understood before Jesper ever had that the power inside him might be a blessing too."

Jesper realizing that for all the shit luck he has at tables he has been lucky enough to have amazing people in his life. It's just very sweet.

Matthias: Page 483

"Unnatural, said the old, determined voice. Beautiful, said the voice that had spoken the night he'd helped Jesper and Kuwei escape Black Veil. It was newer, less certain, but louder than ever before."

I love this part because it shows just how much Matthias has changed through the two books. It's beautiful and sweet and heartwarming.

Wylan: Page 427

"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, will he'd learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kaz, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he's learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win."

Okay... I cheated with Wylan's it's from his chapter just before Action & Echo... BUT, I think this sentiment is much more telling than anything in his Part Six chapter. I love this quote because it shows just how much his found family taught him. They're messy, they're brutal, and they're awful, but they are everything to each other. They teach each other, they help, they care, they tease, and that's way more than Wylan ever had at home.

Kaz: Page 480 & 529

"'I also had her stop at the Menagerie.'

She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. it was a smile he thought he might die to earn again."

"'That's the laugh,' he murmured."

The second quote isn't from his chapter, it's from Inej's final one, but it conveys the same thing as the first quote. It shows what Kaz could have been, that somewhere in there he wants to show Inej can take his armour off, that he is willing to do it for her and I think it's just really gratifying to see.

That all being said chapter 42 was so evil. It had me going from sobbing of joy to sobbing of sorrow and back to joy in the span of 3 paragraphs istg. What the actual fuck Leigh Bardugo???

[nintendont2502]

btw i will forever recommend just. refusing to engage in discourse. its free its easy and you literally arent missing anything LMAO - 99% of discourse on here is just on the most pointless petty shit that literally doesnt mean a single thing to anyone in real life (i am looking directly at you "pRo/AnTi" shippers), and the other 1% is genuinely important shit... that isnt going to be solved in any productive way by insulting '''the other side''' online. arguing with strangers online never changes anyones mind all youre doing is making yourself *and* your cause look annoying as hell :thumbsup: maybe chill out. find a hobby.

[cieric-of-chaos]

the worse thing that ever happened during the multiverse of madness era is Wanda being headcanon as a sw*ftie, like god...free Wanda Maximoff from that woman's song..like...Wanda Maximoff is the type of person that would HATE T*ylor swift

[dollypopup]

interesting how polin is all here for multishippers when it comes to penelope being shipped with literally everyone and their father, but the second someone ships colin with marina, it's suddenly controversial and bad and wrong and they should be totally fine with people talking shit about her and acting like she's the worst and how dare you post anything in the archives about it or in the tags, don't you know that he'd be miserable and the two of them would never work and I HATE HER AND AND AND.

this fandom will lose their shit over penelope with literally every bland whitebread man in her general vicinity and fics on fics on fics get written about her with OCs and his brothers and his sister and people she's never so much as shared a room with but heaven forbid you think Colin and Marina were cute during their canonical courtship

[purpurussy]

.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

hai guys :3

[here-there-were-dragons]

i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that

[skyburger]

"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die

[turboautismrobot]

very quick abt yume nikki i played it a bit before and i found it boring as hell, theres a fangame called .flow that i enjoyed much more but that shits all subjective

ANYWAYS. HELLO CHARLOTTE. I DONT REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL SO IM GONNA USE A PLAYTROUGH FOR REFERENCE LETS GO

i need you to keep in mind this is a series od 3 games and 2 (soon to be 3) spin offs, the game im telling you about now (ep 1 - junk food, gods and teddy bears) doesnt take itself very seriously untill about halfway, theres gore in this game and its the most light hearted one of the bunch, bucle up

the game starts with a black screen and the dialogue

my world met its end a long time ago

humanity as i knew it has ceased to exist and disappeared without a single trace

the gods they belived in have died, and churches were built as their graves

chaos turned into order, and it finally became quiet

all i can do is dream, for i am so, so tired

before i abandon the words that form noise in my head, will you be so kind as to join me in dream seeing?

hello charlotte: episode 1

"junk food, gods and teddy bears"

the game then introcuces you to charlotte

cut to her room and i am already appealing to your omori liker brain just look at it

she then prompts you to take her to the dining room and you can now explore

the big thing on the wall with a heart is a screen, the screen numbered 0001, it tells you to

look for puppeteer symbols (the heart)

only people with the letter X in their name are able to open doors marked with the puppeteer symbol

the green and blue squares are ominicubes, theyre omnipotent living things that store information and allow its users to teletransport

never put soap in an ominicube

the green ominicube is teleports charlotte to different areas of the house

the blue ominicube is a data ominicube and it has information about screens, ominicubes and the tenants of the house (charlotte, aiden, huxley and bennett)

opening the menu charlotte has the opition of STUFF [items and tasks] and REWIND POINT [save] she has the "book of truth" item that she presumably made herself and it has this exposition dump that im just gonna add here cause idk how to words it

worth noting, seth is charlottes puppeteer, you play as seth, not charlotte, you control her every action because free will is an illusion

also she talks to you all the time and its so sweet, for example you can tell her to take some pepper spray and she'll reply with "wouldnt a flamethrower be more effective?" also the universe of hello charlotte is very much surreal and she just talks to you like this like it was the most normal thing ever and not concerning or at the very least hilarious but considering the people she lives with yeah its normal for her

TALKING OF WHICH CHARACTER INTRODUCTION TIME? CHARACTER INTRODUCTION TIME! these are the entries from the ominicube

now this is gonna be sloppy cause tumblr MURDERED the entire thing i wrote which was like a fucking mile of text and im going to commit unspicable things because of this <3 ow my fucking thumbs

Charlotte

Current User who is yet to complete the Educational Program

our protagonist baby shes super nice and sees the good in everyone, shes super heavily implied trans and thats good for her we love her shes the baby ever

Aiden

Ground Floor's butler. User Note: Hobbies include sewing and taxidermy.

he is super nice and also literally krampus

charlotte stayed up to see santa one night and ended up not only kidnapping but befriending KRAMPUS

he likes making dresses for her :]

Huxley

A surgeon who owns an interdimensional clinic on the 2nd floor. User Note: Once ordered 30 boxes of duct tape for unknown purposes."

hes surely. a guy

theres not a ton about him but he is. very morally gray hes cool

Bennett

Occupation and real name unknown. User Note: <Bennett> is the name on the badge of his hazmat suit

bennett is one of huxley's workers, he has a super depressing backstory and these two kind of literally broke and entered into charlotte's house and have been living there ever since

bennett eats soap, hes high up on soap all the time and hes super cheerful (because of the soap, bennett and all of huxleys workers are actually not doing well at all mentally and the soap is their fucked up anti depressent)

aiden -> charlotte -> felix (ill get to him in a sec) -> huxley -> bennett (he has many eyes cause hes a survival of the eye plague which makes eyes grow in tissue including internal orgains, i have no idea if he can see out of those)

anyways detour over back to the game

after going to the dining room charlotte goes to see huxley in his clinic, this clinic has screens that detail how charlotte met the umbrella man, hes like her father figure but i dont. really trust him

he also gave her the yellow ribbon she wears around her neck

im having to take breaks writing this because tumblr made me so frustrated

huxley needs to ask you a favor to take care of his nephew felix for him for a little while, felix is. not super pleased about being babyset

hes very short and a little bit rude but im sure he means well <3 autism

to pass time charlotte goes to sleep and felix jokes about taking readings of her dreams (hes a scientist also hes like 13) and right before charlotte sleeps theres this scary sequence where something its approacing her bed but it turns out to be her cat

whos also a maggot

the magcat

cut to whenever, charlotte hears a loud noise and wakes up, goes to look for felix and finds a giant tv, she jumps inside and ends up in the tv world

the tv world is a collection of different realms called channels that are inhabited by pythias

pythias are my little guys i fucking love pythias this is like only official art of all 3 pythias from the first game i talked about the one with white hair before

white pythia -> librarian pythia -> bunny pythia

female pythias (freyas) have 3 eyes and male pythias have 4 (freis), some of them worship oracles but thats. second half stuff. im not gonna spoil the part of the game that takes itself seriously

anyways the first channel charlotte ends up in looks like this, its a satire of every rpg maker horror game ever and its blondie locks evil and fucked up version its called the teddy bear channel

the pythia we meet here is the bunny freya btw

i think this is all im gonna say about ep 1, again this is a 3 game 2 spin off series and ep 1 is the most light hearted of them so EP 2&3 + DELIRIUM + HEAVENS GATE LIGHTNING ROUND

Hello Charlotte: Episode 2 - Requiem Aeternam Deo

cw - religious themes (as in stuff about gods like the oracles from before, no real world religions here if thats a concern), suicide themes, actual suicide, self harm alegory, bullying, whatever the fuck is going on in the endings

this one has a much, much more depressing atmosphere than the first game, i cant talk about charlotte in this game because it spoils literally the third to last scene of ep 1 but we have

Anri (Henrrieta)

charlotte's best friend! canonically bi and diagnosed as a bpd haver by my qpp

C

a boy who genuenly belives hes literally god and needs to get rid of this vessel to acheive his godhood again (translation: he wants to die), charlotte befriends this guy and ends up being bullied with him as a result

Florence

one of huxley's workers, she gives you a data cube of bennett she has as blackmail and the data on it is literally just all of his trauma lmao and also she looks like gumi like the vocaloid

Hello Charlotte: Episode 3 - Childhood's End

cw - religious themes (not real world religions) drugs, suicide, murder, overdose, a literal cult, genocide, rather unhealthy relationship, hallucination (the evil and fucked up kind), eyestrain

this game is complete whiplash from the other two because THIS CHARLOTTE (theres mutliple timelines, each one is a floor of the house) IS FUCKING EVIL, SHE RUNS A LITERAL CULT which is so definetly an alegory about cancel culture, oh everyone in universe hates her, shes the fandom's favorite girl

shes obsessed with the color white too for some reason, she also Knows she cant die and will just respawn and she Abuses That, giving us the iconic "Ah, she killed herself with a toothbrush" line

we also have the constant flip flopping between true and false realm so

False Realm

Charlotte

already talked about her

Anri

anri is again charlottes friend but charlotte is a grade A dick to her like oh my god this charlotte is. fucking evil (i say this as if it was surprising like she didnt have a tv program called execution hour where she kills people live on stream)

C

ill get to him :]

Florence

SHES BACK she has a breakdown/traumadump in the second half

True Realm

Charles

so this guy is like, god in the false realm (its blurry), a shape shifter, canonically genderfluid, sometimes he uses vincent as a vessel to go talk to charlotte in the false realm as C, also hes incredibly suicidal and has evil face blindness where everyone looks like they came out of tlou

Vincent

a boy charles meets online and becomes very unhealthy in love with, literally the same as C from hc2

Anri

SHES IN THE TRUE REALM TOO people usually group her charles and vincent together as the "true realm trio", here shes pretty much the same as her false realm counterpart but also shes charles' girlfriend, iirc she loves charles way more than he loves her

Scarlett

oh. oh boy. scarlett

so, her actual first appearence is a single scene in ep2 where she jumps off the roof of the school

here shes charles' unborn sister, his mom seems to love scarlett way more than him even though she was never even born

charles has pretty bad hallucinations with her where she berates him around and is really really mean, like she tried to kill him mean, he takes like 10 pills at a time just to make her leave him alone for a couple hours

during the second half of the game she becomes real in the false realm and you play as her instead of charlotte and. buddy youre not ready for how this game ends lmao

Hello Charlotte: Delirium

cw - light? gore, mentions of torture

this is YET AGAIN ANOTHER TIMELINE, this charlotte doesnt know and doesnt give a shit about having a pupetters, shes anris girlfriend and theyre both fucking deranged and evil theyre so entertaining they find an intruder in the house and immediately black her out and take her to felix and bennett to do whatever the fuck they wanna do

they for some reason end up in a different world called "meat and machinery" world and things ensue its like half an hour and its plenty fun its also rather shitposty like the first game

Hello Charlotte: Heavens Gate

visual novel from charles' pov about him vincent and anri in the true realm :D sometimes it has stuff about the false realm and i recommend playing it after finishing eps 1 and 2 because it has stuff you wont understand and will get spoiled for if you play it early, also the whole game just wont make sense without the context of the true realm from ep3

also vincent starts a cult

IM DONE YIPPEE

i made the great choice of scrolling on pinterest looking for stuff to add to my yttd board and god fucking dammit im so fucking sad (spoilers) but it’s not fair it’s not fair why didn’t they all get to live none of them deserved to die no it’s not fair they all lived happily as best friends after this they didn’t die reject canon embrace denial i want them to live and be happy ITS NOT FAIR

[scopophobia-polaris]

I think there are a lot of criticisms you can give to people who portray hylia as just evil especially when they project that onto any zelda, and end up sounding like complete misogynists. you can like evil women without sounding like textbook misogynist! not saying that you or your anons have done it I'm just venting at the tumblr fandom at large especially when they portray link as a man who can't do no wrong. plus the post was about morally GRAY hylia and not just Evil God Woman

Okay

[5eraphim]

so what was up with that swan bed?/ the chateau lore drabble

soooo one thing about me, is i love a literary reference, and i love writing characters as odes to others in stories

the swan bed- isn't really something subtle, as (well as far as i know anyway) there's really only one story with a swan bed in it, that story being flowers in the attic (in corrine foxworth's bedroom) which I used as inspiration/set dressing for this piece.

in the chateau the bed is beautiful and lush, but is where reader is forced to suffer the excruciating pain of feeding the vampires. in flowers in the attic, corrine's bed is seen as where the "sin"/main conflict of the book comes from. i don't want to spoil anything about the book, but if you know literally anything about FITA, you probably know what i mean. (and is obvi mirrored late on in the book via the dusty, abandoned mattress in the attic later in the book)

but i also kinda used corrine as an inspiration for Spy, as someone who was once humane and caring- only to metamorphize into someone selfish and cruel by the end of the story. (not to say Spy was ever self-less, but he was at least human before he was vampire, and i wanted to have the implication he's only so vicious bc he's been living as a vampire for so long- and can't see his reader as a person anymore. reader is a recourse and a captive- but not human, not anything like Spy himself, like how corrine doesn't even see her own children as family by the end of the book, they're nothing but a liability.

corrine has always been one of my favorite villains in fiction, and really is one of the best utilizations of fairy-tale tropes subverted by FITA. at the start of the book she's like a fair, beautiful and kind-hearted princess, faithful to her husband and loves her family more than anything in the world. But during the events of the story she becomes the villain after returning to living with her mother (who is meant to be like a wicked witch/evil step-mother character, someone who is ugly inside and out contrasts corrine who is beautiful on the outside and REPULSIVE on the inside.)

corrine and spy aren't really all that similar characters all things considered, but i wanted to write them motivated by their shared vices here (selfishness/greed/possessiveness/callousness) and have some fun writing Spy at his worst, and trying to examine how he would be if he were to go all in on the materialistic vanity so common in vampires. corrine motivated by these vices would go on to betray her family (no spoilers but JESUS this lady is evil) and Spy would trick/coerce Engie into "overdoing it" while feeding- knowing he's too new to feeding from humans to have the self-control to stop himself.

[knives-alives]

Hey so I don’t mean to sound like a total boomer, even though I technically am one, but what the sweet and sour fuck is Spotify?

Why are y’all putting up with ads in your music. that shit drives me insane

[toytulini]

rock sausage

[inmirova]

"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(

[and-fishing-equipment]

i've started reading tvl and no amount of posts telling me there's a "huge tonal shift" could have prepared me for this HUGE TONAL SHIFT this is the funniest fucking thing i've ever read it genuinely goes like:

louis, narrator of iwtv: as i wandered the streets of paris, i wished most of all for death. i had called to god, to satan, anyone, to find meaning in it all. but for an evil creature such as myself there is no place in this world. there can be no love where this evil lies. it was as though a veil separated me from all that could be good and righteous. i did not deserve to love and be loved in return, not by claudia, lestat, armand. to attempt it would be a sisyphean task, a fools tale. and yet...... the need for hole from armand was so great. greater was only the need for........ living human blood.

lestat, narrator of tvl: hey guys, my name is lestat, you may know me because i'm really hot and sexy. english isn't my first language so sorry if i make any mistakes!! okay here's my story: after rotting beneath the earth for decades, my hot and sexy body has finally risen from the ground. i used to be depressed, but now i'm slutting it up again in the 20th century! first thing i did was get some (hot and sexy) new clothes and then wore them while riding my (hot and sexy) motorcycle and listening to bach on my sony walkman. while i was watching this super niche indie film (you've probably not heard of it) "apocalypse now" i realized that i'm so evil that i shouldn't exist. but then i realized what could make me deserve to live on this planet: rock n roll music.

[angeltism]

GOKY SBIT WAIT HE'S AN AMNESIAC BECAUSE HE DIED AND WAS REVIVED OH KY GOD ME AND HUSBAND WORKING TOGETHER IN CANON ????? OH MY GOD I WILL EXPLODE IF SO .