#this is the kind of thing we wanted to do years ago when we first moved in

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic idea: Danny's Did you know?

Danny is a contact creator.

He started off as a kid who wanted to dump info about space or other interests, making it more "Did you Know" as his theme, but his channel really took off the first time he invited a ghost to speak about the era that came before.

No one knows Sidney Poindexter is a ghost. Ghosts usually do not appear on camera; if they do, they are always a blur or barely visible outline. That doesn't come into play when the camera happens to belong to the Ghost King, who is unaware of the title.

Due to this, the ghosts, as his guest stars, turn out to look like normal human beings. There is no glow, no see-through effect, and the only odd thing about them is how they dress.

Even Poindexter's coloring could be explained with some well-done make-up.

They think he's just someone wearing a costume and pretending to be from the 1950s, using information Danny had researched. Danny's interview with Poindexter became an instant hit among those who applauded the genuine authenticity of what the 1950s actually were like.

Not only that, but Poindexter's reactions to modern terms and objects that Danny presents are hilarious to the viewers, as he never once broke character. There is even an entire section where both grumble about the bullying issue in their shared high school.

A particular scene becomes a trending meme.

"Did you know Dr. Seuss coined the word "Nerd" in 1950? He used it in the book If I Ran the Zoo," Danny tells Poindexter.

The other teenager rolls his eyes. "Of course, I knew. It was published in my first year of High school. I was one of the first to be called nerd, you know? It would have been more impressive if it didn't take the entire football team four days to read."

"Four days!?"

"Dr. Seuss's writing style saved the American reading levels back in my day."

"So we have always been stupid, huh?"

Danny's next guest is Johnny 13, a biker from the early 1980s who spends most of his time flirting with Danny—who doesn't acknowledge the attempts—and proudly tells the viewers he may have been there, but he was too poor to know much about the 1980s.

"What were the trends in that era?" Danny asks Johnny after considering his notes.

The biker shrugs. "I think cellphones? They were too expensive for me or my block. Never saw one in real life before I died."

"Well, one trend was waterbeds. Did you know that waterbeds were invented in the 60s? They were made by a design student but weren't popular until the 80s, making them popular for the sudden rise of sex appeal." Danny says with a cheerful grin.

Johnny 13 tilts his head, considering his words. "Radical. I couldn't afford a mattress, much less a waterbed, but I bet they were fun. If you can get your hands on one, I would happily show you how fun they can be."

Danny rolls his eyes and then considers something. "If you couldn't afford a mattress, how did you get your bike then?"

"I stole it. Car theft was effortless back then after hotwiring took off." Johnny's smirk turns dark. "I stole to keep myself fed. Bad luck followed you everywhere when you started at America's rock bottom. Only crime could get you out, and even then, life was shit."

Danny reaches out and pats his shoulder. "At least you got to live through one of the best eras in our history."

"Nah, I died in 1983. I missed it, but do you know who actually got to live it? Ember. She died in 1990."

Next week, Ember strikes an alarming resemblance to the one-hit-wonder singer Ember McLain, who had nearly made it big a few years ago.

"What were the 80s like?"

"Terrible, everyone hated me in school, and AIDS was killing all my friends."

Danny pauses for a long moment, looking horror-struck, until Ember shrugs, "But Glam rock was made popular, which was kind of cool."

"Glam?"

Ember smirked at the host, holding her guitar. "Want to hear some?"

By the end of her performance, everyone was losing their mind that Danny Fenton somehow knew a big name like Ember Mclain, and her music once again started to trend. So much so she released another song called "Lost," dedicated to all her fallen friends who died in the AIDS epidemic.

It goes on and on, with each new video showcasing different times and people from those backgrounds. Tim Drake never misses an episode as a dedicated follower of Danny's Did You Know?

He also thought it was a gimmick to make the show entertaining and thought nothing of the hilarious conversations—not when the host was such adorable eye candy.

Things are normal until Tim watches Danny interview Greta Hayes, who died in the late 90s. His very dead, very much a ghost teammate who happily tells the story of her life while looking like an ordinary girl for the first time.

It's not even someone dressed up as her. She makes an apparent reference to some slang Bart uses, and a few of the team's inside jokes are sprinkled into the conversation.

Tim feels a headache coming on. After watching the episode, he grinned darkly as he picked up his phone and called Bruce.

"So we may have a problem. Either a necromancer with an insane amount of skill or something similar. We need to go to Amity Park to investigate Danny Fenton."

Bruce sighs. "Tim, I am not helping you stalk your internet crush-"

"It's not stalking. It's detective work!"

[sashaisready]

Since You've Been Gone: Chapter 1

Bucky Barnes x Reader

After a regrettable first meeting in the cemetery, you discover that you have something in common with a certain member of the Avengers. Unfortunately, you can't choose your neighbours, even in death.

(Setting is approx. post TFATWS)

Hi, I'm back! I have no idea where this came from, or where it's going! So apologies as updates may not be consistent while I figure it out. Warnings for death of parents, grief, mentions of cemetery/graves - please tread carefully if these are triggers for you.

🍂

It was a chilly Autumn day, but not unbearable. Your coat could more than handle the frigid breeze. You squinted at the headstone as you crouched on your knees, angling your head to make sure you hadn’t left any streaks or marks from the polish. Satisfied with your performance, you trimmed a few of the roses that were leaning against it before standing and taking a step back to admire your handiwork.

Immaculate as always, so neat you could almost be fooled into thinking you weren’t even outside. You could hear your parents’ voices in your head now, joking about being able to keep their graves far cleaner that you ever managed your bedroom to be, their frequent nags falling on deaf adolescent ears.

You smiled sadly as you looked at the intricately engraved text below their names on the shared stone:

Beloved parents taken too soon,

Waiting in heaven to be reunited with their only daughter

You’d never really like that phrasing; it was a little too whimsical for your tastes – especially all these years later. But a recently orphaned teenager wasn’t exactly an expert in choosing the best headstone wording. You’d been more than happy to let your aunt and the funeral home lead the way, too paralysed by grief to make even the smallest decisions in the hellscape that was death admin.

Still, you’d never want to upset your aunt by getting it changed, there’s a lot of strange emotion tied up in grief even when time has passed, and that mourning teen has become an adult. And it wasn’t like new headstones were cheap anyway…

As you packed up your cleaning kit your attention was drawn to the two graves next to your parents’ - George and Winnifred Barnes. They had both passed several decades earlier, long before your parents were buried next to them. They had died only a few months apart according to the text…maybe they’d couldn’t survive without each other.

It was easy to infer that they no longer had anyone left earthside. The graves had been long untouched, unkempt, and overgrown, the inscriptions getting harder to read – and you’d never seen any evidence of a visitor in all your time coming here. Except of course when the cemetery staff did one of their occasional mass clean-ups of the neglected graves.

About a year ago, you’d started tending to them alongside your parents. You weren’t sure why, it just seemed like the right thing to do. They were neighbours after all. And you’d want someone to do the same for your mum and dad if you weren’t around.

You’d cleaned their stones, wiped away the grime and given them a decent polish. You’d trimmed back the weeds and laid fresh flowers. The first time took a while, but after you’d got them to a reasonable standard it was all pretty easy to maintain.

You’d often wondered who they were. What they were like. The dates suggested they’d died of old age, a luxury your parents didn’t have. Were they kind? Funny? What hobbies did they have? They were around during the war, that must’ve been tough. You knew from the inscriptions that they had children who would’ve been over hundred by now. Maybe no grandchildren which is why nobody came by to see them anymore. It made you feel sad, how we could all be just a few generations away from being forgotten entirely. At least you could try to remember them.

You gave their graves a quick once over, took away the dead flowers and added some fresh roses in their place.

“Well, I’m done,” you said aloud, “see you soon, mum and dad. And you too, George and Winnifred. Sleep well”.

You sighed, walking back to your car and back to your life. You knew all too well that the dead may be still, but the world continues around them.

🍂

A week later you were back at the cemetery with your cleaning kit slung over your back, your arms full of fresh flowers.

“Afternoon, mum and dad,” you said as you placed your kit and flowers down and pulled out the foam pad that you used to kneel on, “and you, George and Winnifred”.

“Work has been kicking my ass this week,” you sighed as you got to work on your parents’ stone. “There’s only so much I can take of Brock’s moaning about the numbers…it’s getting harder not to smash my keyboard over his head – yeah I know, violence isn’t the answer, blah-blah-blah…”

You worked diligently, chatting away as you went through your maintenance tasks. It was nice, talking to them like this. You could say anything, really. No judgements, no admonishment, just silent acceptance of everything you told them. It was a bit like therapy for you. You often imagined your parents were sitting behind you as you spoke, just out of sight.

You liked to use old newspaper to buff up the marble. As you gathered your things together, you glanced at some of the headlines from the copy you’d brought with you. Lots of dreary grimness unfortunately. There was also a longread feature on the Avengers and where they were now, their photographs lined up across the top of the page. It was sad that a few of them were dead now, or at least no longer here. You felt a pang of sadness for their loved ones – you knew what that was like.

You didn’t know all the details of The Avengers and their associates, but like everyone else you knew the basics. It was a strange time, just a decade or so ago nobody had ever thought superheroes really existed…but then all of these ‘enhanced’ people started crawling out of the woodwork, revealing weapons and technology that previously had only existed in sci-fi movies. It was hard to believe, really.

You scanned the newspaper page, looking at the pictures for a few moments. You took your time studying their faces before sighing and placing it back down.

“All done…now let’s help out George and Winnie over here, looks like you guys need some new flowers…and all that heavy rain we’ve been having has really done a number on your stones…let me just-”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” the gruff voice behind you demanded, causing you such a shock that you nearly joined your parents.

You spun your body away from the graves, horrified to see a man looming over you as you stared at him open-mouthed in surprise. You hadn’t heard him approach, not quite understanding how you hadn’t noticed him coming at all…

“I said what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he repeated to you, his blue eyes alight with anger.

He was big. Bigger than you. Even under his coat you could see his broad shoulders. A mop of dark hair framed his face, most likely quite an attractive face when it wasn’t pulled into a furious sneer like it was now. He wore black gloves as he pointed at you accusingly. The fact that you were kneeling on the ground while he stood towering at his full height had not gone unnoticed by you.

There was something strangely familiar about him, but you couldn’t place it. Did he shop at the same market as you? You couldn’t quite…

“I’m…I’m just-” you spluttered as you fumbled for the words, still caught in your surprise and the fact that this normally serene time had been interrupted by a stranger yelling at you…

“Get away from there!” he snarled.

You quickly realised he was talking about the Barnes’ graves. You bounced backwards, landing painfully on your ass in your desperation to do what he said. He had a chilling air of authority that you didn’t want to screw with. You weren’t trying to piss off an angry man while you were out here all alone…

“I was just tidying them up,” you managed weakly as you sat up and clutched at the flowers.

“Nobody asked you to,” he scoffed in response as he leaned over and ran a gloved finger over Winnifred’s inscription, “you shouldn’t be clambering all over graves of people you don’t know”.

You frowned as the initial shock of the encounter wore off, now annoyed now at his abrupt rudeness towards you when you only had good intentions.

“Oh, and you know them, do you?” you snapped back sharply as your felt your emotions surge and your eyes water, your cheeks hot with mortification, “well, nobody has been to visit those graves in years so-”

“Yeah, actually I do know them - I’m their son,” he spat furiously.

Your head bounced back in surprise and confusion. You curled your lip and frowned at his strange claim, he appeared to be his mid-to-late 30s at most – many years away from the very elderly man he’d need to be for that to be true.

What was his goal here, exactly?

Was this guy just looking to start an argument and decided you’d be his target? Spouting off nonsense about random graves just to mess with you?

And where did you know him from?

Despite your survival instincts, you couldn’t help but fight back. You didn’t appreciate being messed with at the best of times, let alone when you were only here to visit your deceased loved ones. Who came to a graveyard to fuck with people? And yell at them?!

“Huh? Son?” you scoffed with derision and jabbed a finger towards the inscriptions about their children, “well, that can’t be true as that would mean their kids would have to be over a hundred…and how many one-hundred-year-olds look like you…?”

“I’m 107 years old, actually,” he said venomously. He sounded utterly sincere despite the ludicrousness of his claim. His face was sullen, his eyes piercing.

You ignored the shudder that threatened to roll through you in response. It was a strangely familiar expression on his face.

Where had you seen that look?

“Oh, yeah! You’re 107…Sure!” you laughed sarcastically. “You just have the greatest plastic surgeon of all time, in fact there’s a bunch of centenarians wandering around looking thirt-”

You trailed off as a wave of recognition suddenly hit you and the penny dropped. Oh. Oh.

He wasn’t from the market…

It was him.

Your eyes panned down to the crumpled newspaper lying next to you. The same man’s face scrutinised you from the page, an exact mirror image of the brooding 3D version in front of you. A little older now, but still unmistakably the same man.

Oh!

Now you remembered that same picture on the news. Read about the terrible things he’d done before when he was under hypnosis. For the Nazis? The Soviets? Both? Flashes of recollection hit you at once, disjointed and scattered.

It wasn’t really him doing all of it, it was a mind control thing, they’d said. He was like the Captain…the first one from the 40s. Kept young…somehow. He had a robot arm. Then there was the big government pardon after he’d helped to save the world. The deep dive the New York Times had done on his assassin past. What had they said he was called? Iceman? Winter? Winter hitman?

The Winter Soldier.

Barton? Baines? No, Barnes.

Barnes.

As in…son of Winnifred and George?

Ah.

He must’ve seen your train of thought written all over your face as he nodded solemnly at you.

“Yeah. It’s me. And I only found their resting place a few weeks ago,” he said with disdain.

You got to your feet, taking a few cautious steps backwards. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You didn’t need to be a jerk - I’ve just been coming here for years, and I’d never seen…”

You trailed off, he didn’t care. His focus was on the graves, one gloved hand gripping the top of his father’s stone as he peered down at the grass below.

You turned to leave, giving him his privacy, “I’m sorry for your loss,” you mumbled quietly as you picked up your kit.

You started to head back to your car, then turned to face him again after a couple of steps. You warily moved back towards him and leaned over, placing a single flower between the feet of his parents’ graves. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t pick it up and throw it back in your face, either.

As you walked away, you thought you felt the weight of his gaze on your back.

🍂

Another week passed and you were back at the cemetery once more, working the usual routine and doing your best to forget what had happened the last time you were here. Upsetting a war veteran slash Avengers superhero by accusing him of not being his parents’ child was impressively incompetent, even by your standards. But in your defence, he did just start yelling at you out of nowhere. And you were only trying to help. And he was a literal defiance of nature, time, and aging…

But then again, people weren’t always their best selves in a cemetery. It wasn’t exactly Happy Hour over here. And you’d probably freak out too if you caught a stranger tinkering around with the resting place of your parents. The parents who died of old age while you were cryogenically frozen and a prisoner in your own body…

You’d done a little more reading up on him, James Buchanan Barnes. ‘Bucky’. The man behind the scary winter soldier mask. The older images of him in his combat gear were chilling, as were the alleged stats of his kills, but mainly you just felt immense empathy for a man out of time. A man who had lost his youth, a limb, his autonomy, and everybody he once knew from his old life.

You tried to put it out of your mind, catching your parents up on what they’d missed and pretty-ing things up a little around their plot. You didn’t touch the Barnes’ this time, just gave them a little wave and concentrated on your own flesh and blood.

You were a million miles away, lost in the quiet fog that often seemed to overtake you when you were working in the cemetery. It was peaceful, really. This was the one place you could switch your brain off and quiet the chatter of your head, just concentrate on the tasks you knew so well by now that your hands did them on muscle memory alone.

You were just adjusting the newest flowers when a voice interrupted you.

“Hey,” it said.

It startled you as you were still in your own world and hadn’t heard anyone else approach. You whirled around slightly panicked as a pair of eyes the colour of sapphires met yours.

It was him again.

“Oh, hello,” you replied quietly.

He stared over at you, wrapped up in his coat as he was last time. His stare was still intense despite appearing much calmer than when you first met him. He wore black pants and boots, his hands tucked away into his pockets, a dark backpack slung over his shoulder. His face was more relaxed than it was during your first encounter. His blue eyes were just as arresting, but the absence of anger made them sparkle rather than burn. He had a soft dusting of stubble across his taut jawline, his dark hair was pulled back behind his head as he absent-mindedly ran a hand over it. He was…

…hot?

Fuck.

He nodded at you in acknowledgement and moved to George and Winnifred’s plot, kneeling in front of their stones. He pulled a candle out from his backpack and lit it with a lighter, placing it between where his parents lay.

You turned away sharply, not wanting to look like you were intruding during what was clearly a private moment of mourning. You focused on your own parents’ graves, clipping back the flowers as quietly as possible.

The two of you continued doing your own thing, the awkwardness thick in the air. You remembered how furious he’d been with you last time. You considered saying something, trying to explain that you were only trying to maintain the graves, but you didn’t want to provide any more ammunition for potential anger. Instead, you continued your routine in silence, keeping your eyes down.

After you finished you packed up your stuff and cleared your throat, ‘uh, bye,” you said quietly to him as you hurried down the path and back towards your car. He didn’t respond, but looked up at you as you passed, studying you intently.

[jokeroutsubs]

[📝ENG translation] 'My Parents Gave Me a Strong Sense of Identity'

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin.

Original article written by Teja Roglič for Ona plus, published 05.11.2024. English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by @weolucbasu, proofread by IG Gboleyn123.

Full article and Spotify link under the cut 👇

🎧 Article available in audio form on Spotify.

Last year’s craze at Stožice, summer festival performances, the Eurovision Song Contest, international success. And then everyone asks, what could be bigger, what could be better? But as the band Joker Out releases their new album, they consciously follow the motto "I want less". Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin explains why: "This is our home, this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We need to rediscover love in our base, that’s what we told ourselves."

With the song Bluza, you’re returning to love. Why?

We went through a lot. The songs we released after Eurovision dealt with the most acute situational changes in our lives—touring, exhaustion, questioning ourselves. Now, it’s time to have a bit of fun again. And there's probably nothing more beautiful than being in love. (smiles)

I’ve been looking into people’s stories, into the lives of those around me, seeking beauty.

What did you discover?

That I enjoy writing about love the most. When you write from a place of uncertainty, it’s nice to get those feelings out; when you write about love, you search for timeless beats within yourself, not something that’s only fleeting. I write about the ideals of love I held as a child, and in the future, I’ll see how these have either evolved or fallen apart.

It's best to write about love...

When you have a broken heart.

Your Eurovision song was more socially critical, though it might seem, at first glance, to be about joy. In it, you say: "We won’t take part in your games or your divisions." Did the song’s message reach people?

Undoubtedly. A lot has changed in a year and a half, not only personally but also in terms of our views of social issues. For the first time, we've connected with young people from abroad. It was fascinating to see how connected the fans from different countries became, encouraging each other, learning new languages—even a lot of Slovene. The desire for peace and unity is very strong at our concerts, so our messages have touched them. But of course, you can never reach everyone. (smiles)

You mention changed perspectives with regards to society. Have any ideals been shattered?

Many ideals have crumbled. In school, learning about war, it always seemed odd to me that the world could just go on at the same time, despite the ongoing disruption in the system. Now, I see that we have access to all the information, that we see and hear what’s happening, that we witness an influx of people coming from regions where this is happening, yet everything literally carries on as usual.

War has become more of a trend on TikTok or Instagram than something people feel hurt about. This makes me very sad.

A lot of ideals that have shattered relate to the life of a musician. We’ve achieved things we could only have dreamed of—not just as kids; even two years ago, what’s happening now would have seemed impossible to me. But the ideal that’s crumbled is this one: I don’t always know how to appreciate what I have.

On tour, I often slipped into negative thoughts, didn’t appreciate everything happening to us. This links to the idea that this kind of life is easy, that as a successful musician, you only have fun. This, of course, isn’t true; it’s incredibly exhausting, both mentally and physically. I could go on until tomorrow, listing everything that’s fallen apart, but fortunately, a lot of new things have also come to be.

You’re the idols of generations; do you feel pressure because of that? After all, you’re still young guys too…

No. We already lost the childlike joy of music because we had to start working so much so early and get to know so many new systems. If we also take on the responsibility of raising generations of kids, we could truly fall into a black hole.

We need to be role models, but we can’t shape our work around that. On the upcoming album, there’s a song, 'Muzika za decu' ('Music for children'), which touches on this very point. We want to convey that we’re not addressing generations who think all younger people are lazy bums who only hinder the world’s progress. We’re addressing everyone who is young enough at heart to believe in a better world, a brighter tomorrow.

Photo: Vita Orehek

More and more musicians are stopping concerts at large venues when fans are in distress or overcrowding happens. You too?

Absolutely. This summer, we constantly stopped concerts if people were packed tightly indoors or out in the sun. We handed out a lot of water from the stage, and I even paused a concert if some listener (m.) was treating another listener (f.) disrespectfully. A concert is a safe space; there’s no place there for infringing on the rights of others.

That’s an interesting topic I wanted to touch on anyway. So what is the rock ‘n’ roll world of the new generation like?

It’s a lot better. I’m glad we’re not a group of drugged-out dudes living only for today. Carpe Diem really means seize the day, but for us, that doesn’t mean picking every fruit that exists in the world. Waking up healthy and energised, wanting to go to a concert, being open to meeting new people, our fans, being creative...

That’s what it means to seize the day. Sure, sometimes we go on a trip, we do have fun too. But I’m glad that sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll aren’t our guiding principles in the band. When we watched the documentary about Mötley Crüe, we saw how they started with heroin and opiates and ended with smoothies and fruit. Well, we’re already at the fruit and smoothies stage. (laughs)

“We’re constantly building a relationship that gets deeper every day, even though it seems like it can’t get any deeper,” you told me before the Stožice concert, as I was stunned when you said you were going on holiday with the guys right after the concert. How much do you invest in relationships within the band? We know it’s sometimes challenging to nurture a relationship between two people, let alone five.

This is like a partnership with five people. Except for intimacy, all the other elements of partnership are there. We’re companions. We often live together, work together; the dynamics are demanding. I talk a lot about this with fellow musicians. Recently, I was talking to Mr. Vlado Kreslin, and we concluded that being in a band requires a touch of madness.

Even if it ends someday—nothing is guaranteed—I know I have four lifelong friends. We exist as friends even beyond the band.

Success demands hard work; you’ve told me before how sure you were of your path in the band, of your decisions, and how hard you worked to achieve what you have. And we’re back to the topic that some might say your generation isn’t hardworking, that you’re quick to say what you won’t do at the work place...

The young people I know could hardly be described as not hardworking. I’d rather say we’re diligent, and the drive to work comes from the strong pressure that you need to achieve a lot very quickly, or else you won’t make it in this world. As for them being quicker to say no... Maybe they know they can’t live that way if something doesn’t work. And to live is very costly.

Young people feel they don’t have to stick rigidly to one profession, that they can change courses, jobs, and find something that suits them. We’re far from the days when the son was a blacksmith because the father was a blacksmith, and the daughter stayed home as a housewife. But we also have to know that there’s more and more uncertainty, precarious work.

If Gen Z is the way it is, I wouldn’t attribute that to the generation itself but rather to the Boomer generation. Everything that makes life harder for us isn’t the product of our ideas and actions. But it’s also true that sometimes, you need to stop, think, and make a decision. I’d like to do something today, something different tomorrow, but that’s not realistic. When you’re bombarded by choices from all ends, you have to make decisions. If there are three shirts in a store, I’ll pick one; if there are 250, I might end up buying sneakers instead. (laughs)

You performed at a concert aimed at contributing to the best possible care, treatment, and support for women with gynaecological cancer. You probably get invited to participate in quite a few charitable events; how do you choose them? This concert likely wasn’t a hard choice, as both of your parents are doctors...

My father is a gynaecologist, my mother is a pediatrician, so naturally, when I got the invitation, I immediately thought my dad would be happy if I could perform there. Otherwise, I choose events based on two criteria: whether it’s something important and whether I’m home at that time. I've often had to turn down an event I would have really liked to participate in simply because I wasn’t here.

Life has taken you all over in recent years. What have your parents given you that has stayed with you and has been proven most useful today?

They gave me a sense of normality. I'm an ordinary person who takes everything in moderation. I didn’t become a hedonist, nor did I give in to the patterns that the environment might impose. They gave me a strong sense of who I am and what I am, unconditional self-confidence, and self-respect. And the certainty that I’m never alone in anything.

Recently, the dramaturg Nina Kuclar Stiković and I talked about how Generation Z might be the first to actively work through its traumas, though she noted that taking on such responsibility across generations is a huge task. In the end, you might even feel worse. If you only become aware of your baggage but can’t overcome it, it can feel even worse than if you had never been made aware of it at all, she said. What do you observe around you, in your own generation?

Mental health has never been as openly discussed as it is today. I know many people who go to therapy. It’s actually strange that mental health was never treated before, that this stigma existed. If you have a cold, you stay home, you also heal a broken arm. Today's generations have managed to break free from these shackles. The individual is becoming increasingly more important.

People are working through the things in their minds. And this bothers many people from generations who suppressed everything and unleashed their traumas onto others. I often think how unfortunate it is that we don’t practice everyday therapy in our surroundings. Everyone surely has someone whom they trust. We talk about all sorts of things, but we never ask each other how we are and share that honestly. Now, I do this with a few friends, and it’s really nice. I go to my friends for therapy. (smiles)

Nina also mentioned that patriarchy has wronged not only women but men too. It’s unfair that men couldn’t show emotions and always had to be strong. It always helps if you can share your feelings with someone. What do you think?

The Neanderthal perception of masculinity is passé. We can all first tell ourselves, and then tell others, how we feel and what’s going on in our heads.

This summer, you performed at festivals. Now you have a new album, and you’ll be performing at various venues again, with tickets quickly selling out. It's a carousel that never stops. You mentioned earlier that you caught yourself maybe not appreciating it anymore. What do you do now to keep that from happening?

For the tour that’s coming with the release of the new album, we consciously followed the motto, "I want less." Last year, we played in Stožice, before that in Križanke. This year, we toured Europe, and everyone was asking us what big thing we’re preparing next. But we were only talking about how nice it would be to play at Ljubljana's Cvetličarna again.

Pass by Maribor too, go a bit to the clubs in the Balkans, and that’s it. This is our home; this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We told ourselves that we need to find love in our base again. I’m glad we recognise this, that we’re not just banging our heads against a brick wall. The purpose of this tour is simply to enjoy it.

A few years ago, you told my colleague Robert Rebolj, my fellow journalist, and your fellow musician, that you’d like to have kids while still young. Yet you also say that you're in a period where several of your ideals have collapsed as you look at the world around you. Does the desire still remain?

When I said that, I was thinking I’d have my first child between the ages of 28 and 30. Then Robert told me that having a child young doesn’t necessarily mean that. (laughs) I see it now, too, as some of my friends already have children, and some even their second. My calendar no longer just has friends’ birthdays, but, for instance, the first birthday of a friend’s child. (laughs) Yes, I think a lot about how this world is in many ways not what I imagined it would be, but I guess it’s always been that way throughout history—things have never been ideal. I think everyone, in every era, has felt the world is going to- hmmm, well, that’s how it seems to me too. (laughs)

[bidisasterevankinard]

"Soulmate 3s au where Tommy accidentally tells Buck about Daniel"

I'm *sat* and listening

ok so here's a little pasrt of the main scene of the fic

“Hmmm, I’d said a broken shoulder for Tommy around two years ago. It felt so bad I cried for hours and it wasn’t even my pain,” Evan says, frowing his pretty face.

Tommy nodded remembering how bad it felt. He was hiking with a friend, till he saw a kid and danger and rushed to help. He did of course, but managed to fall from the three, breaking his shoulder. 

“I’d really wish to be here for him,” the smile that Evan sends him makes Tommy swallow so many words he wants to screen from roofroped but he’s not sure Evan is still ready for it. He’ll ask. Soon. For now just having Evan in his life is enough.

“And now the most interesting part of our program today, let me bet, it was the truck that literally was on your boy’s leg,” Howie winks and Maddie nudges his shoulder when Evan throws a napkin at him saying “too soon man”.

“Nuh, first you said the worst  pain when we weren't around. I was there helping to save him and all the rehabilitation,” Tommy says and everyone nods. He knows it's the perfect opening and he goes for it. Because he needs to be absolutely sure Evan is fine after what happened to him when he was 6 months old. And he just needs to know what exactly it was. He can’t live without knowing anymore.

“But it’s definitely his worst pain since he was 6. But no, I’d wish I was there for him when he was 6 months old and going through the worst pain that any baby should never feel. Can I know what it was by the way? Were you sick and needed some kind of treatment?” he looks at Evan who looks shocked at him. Everything is silent while Evan tries to find his words.

“To-Tommy, what yo-you talking about?”

“About the awful pain in your leg for a long time and aches for days after. I was 7 but still remember how I was crying in my nonna’s hands for hours.” Tommy says not seeing any recognition on Evan’s face.

“I was in the hospital when I was a baby just for check ups and vaccinations. Tell him Maddie” Evan turns to Maddie who looks like she sees the ghosts. “Maddie?” Evan’s voice changes to suspicious and his eyes go red. “ Do-do you know anything about this?”

Maddie puts her glass that she was holding not moving, turning to look at evan with her lip bitten and Tommy already knows he should have never asked. Because the truth seems too big to know. But at the same time? He is happy he asked. Evan deserves to know.

“You were in a hospital for your checkups and vaccinations, but not only,” Maddie swallows with tears in her eyes. “You were a healthy baby, but,” he voice cracks, and next thing she whispers if not the silence in the loft no one could have heard it, “Daniel wasn’t. He was our brother, Evan. He … he had leukemia. We-we basically lived in the hospital.”

[quitealotofsodapop]

I've sent a similar ask before, but in peachsoup I want to see everyone's reaction to Sun Wukong being named Peaches.

Nehza: *face palms.* No memories and he is still subconsciously pining.

Erlang: *on the floor laughing* It takes a special kind of simping to do it with no memory.

Macaque: *crisis because even with no memory, Wukong chose his nickname for him as a name, but also he's supposed to be angry about dying but peaches-*

Prev.

Dont worry about resending. My inbox is stuffed to the gills and I get lost in it. Also indenting doesnt seem to work right when im on mobile.

I ended up making a bit of character dialogue based on this ask between Peaches and his school-friend "Nez"

Nez: "So how did you get the name Peaches?" Peaches: "Oh! When Dadsy- uh dad found me and MK, he called me it because peaches were pretty much the only thing I ate." Nez, agreeing hum: "Make sense." Peaches: "Then when we were adopted, we needed new legal names - so Zhu Taozi it was!" Nez: "So... you never considered having another name? I mean, the legal folk definitely gave you time to think about it. Why did Peaches resonate with you?" Peaches, twirling hair in thought: "This is gonna sound weird... but I felt like it's always been my name." Nez: "Really?" Peaches: "I know! It sounds so weird! But when I heard it for the first time, it just sounded so natural. Like someone I care about a long time ago called me it? Nez, intrigued: "Oh... so you think it was a nickname from a sibling or a parent or...?" Peaches, confidently: "I think it was someone I was in love with." Nez, memory thread unlocked?: "OH. Oh um... how can you tell?" Peaches, blush creeping: "I don't know! When I sit and meditate on stuff like this, I can just imagine someone just so beautiful with this deep voice chuckling my name like it was meant for me." (*hugs his own body lovingly*) Nez, honesty touched: "Aww..." Peaches, little embarrassed: "I'm sorry. Thats sappy." Nez: "Nah, it's really cute. Who knows? Maybe it's a sign from Yue Lao about who your soulmate it. He sometimes uses dreams to push fated lovers towards one another." Peaches, tail swishing with excitement: "Oh my gods, you're right! It could be a premonition! I wonder if my fated one is as beautiful as I see them! Nezha, internally: "He can't remember over 2000 years of life, but he can remember what his mate used to call him. It would be funny if it wasn't so bittersweet."

Once Macaque gets back, it's hard to see where his face mask begins and end. Learning that even with his memories gone Wukong chose to be called "Peaches", sends the shadow monkey into a conflicted mess. He's mad about getting KO'd obvs, but "Peaches" is both a tragic example of what if Wukong had died (Peaches is almost his own monkey after all), and a revelation that Wukong never truly forgot his mate.

Erlang is laughing his ass off as all of this goes down. His third eye was just spitting patch updates to him one day and BAM; Wukong's mate is back, and just learned that his amnesiac mate remembered and valued his pet name enough to make it his new name. It's way too funny to keep quiet about. He tells all his sworn bros about it.

When Peaches' family realises that "Peaches" was the pet name his big bro's crush called him back when they were a couple... they think its really cute. But the bad boy still isn't coming over for dinner.

[fuck-customers]

This was a couple of decades ago when I worked in sales, let’s say for an electronics company or appliance company or something similar to that. We had an older gentleman come in and he wanted to buy some high end stuff and quite a bit of it, so we were more than willing to help him out. Things started getting out of hand with him pretty quickly though. He was starting to demand that during the delivery and installation we would do stuff above and beyond what we could do because what he was asking for was against corporate policy. When we started to explain some of this to him he was all “You don’t know who I am, do you?” and he started to tell us that he used to be the ceo of a global company that I’ll leave unnamed. Think something big like energy, tech, or media. A company that has products in almost every household. He was telling us how corporate policies are all about lawyers and accountants and he doesn’t give a damn about that kind of stuff. If anything went wrong he wouldn’t hold anyone accountable and we could take him for his word. He said he used to make multimillion dollar deals on the golf course or over dinner with nothing more than handshakes and promises of phone calls over the next week to further hash things out.

We all thought this man was full of shit but he was willing to spend a lot of money, so we just let him keep on talking while we figured out ways to talk him down from his unrealistic expectations. It felt like a hostage negotiation. From time to time he would go on tangents and give us his “insider knowledge” about this company or that. It was all far from insider knowledge. It was everyday stuff that could easily be learned by reading Forbes or The Wall Street Journal.

I was the main salesperson and his first point of contact so I talked to him the most. He talked foul and looked completely disheveled. Everything about him and the whole interaction was the exact opposite of the types of corporate businessmen I was used to dealing with. I was starting to think we were getting conned. After about two long and painful hours the sale was completed and payments went through, much to my surprise. While a lot of equipment needed to be delivered, I volunteered to load the stuff we had on hand into his car. When we got out to the parking lot I saw that his car was a busted up and rusted out relic from the mid ‘80s. I thought that there was no way an ex-ceo of a global company would be driving something so crappy. I was convinced that he was just taking us for a ride for God know’s what reason.

When I got home from work that night I googled his name. Lo and behold there he was with photographs and articles. Tons of them. Not only was he who he said he was, he actually downplayed his career. I printed out some of the articles to take into work the next day. My boss, my coworkers, and I went over them, just dumb struck. We just couldn’t believe it. This complete asshole was exactly who he said he was. We ended up calling the installers to give them a heads up and warn them that they were probably be going to deal with one of the most difficult customers they’d see that year.

We never saw him again. On the one hand we were happy because none of us wanted to deal with him again. On the other hand we were kind of disappointed. He spent money without even trying.

I believed he was who he said he was before you said you looked him up.

The really rich people (worth billions) will drive a thirty year old car, wear clothes decades out of date, and expect a lot of things "extra" on everything they do buy. That's how they stay rich. The CEO of our company is still using a flip phone and came to our meeting (when I was still in corporate) in jeans and a t-shirt. And that dude is worth billions.

The showoff's (flashy car, new phone/bag/shoes) either are millionaires that will not be rich their whole life. Or celebrities/influencer's that need to have that image of wealth.

At least that's my experience in retail corporate and working security for the mouse.

-Rodney

[eternal-love]

Public Relations

Pairing: Austin Butler x Female!Reader

warning?: (talk about motherhood, slight cheating)

Summary: You and Austin had a baby recently, but things haven’t been peachy, not at all. Fans are starting to speculate. And PR is chasing your asses.

The last time Austin and you were together was right after the birth of your baby girl in June, he had been bugging you for a year of how much he wanted to be a daddy.

At first you were not going to give it to him. You knew his career, how busy he got and it was true, his career was his priority and nothing would ever change that. You understood, he had worked SO hard for it and he wouldn’t leave it to be a stay-at-home daddy or a husband. There was a reason why there wasn’t a ring on your finger.

But you reluctantly agreed to have a baby, just to see him happy. Although you yourself weren’t so sure about it. The pregnancy, damn, was it hard.

You found yourself feeling worn down by the baby inside of you, you went to many midwives and they told you that it was normal. But you couldn’t really do much anyways. You stayed at home, laying down in the bed or bathtub, he was there with you.

And now, months later, your baby girl was three months old and you were in LA. His house in LA, because you lived with him. He was staying in NYC.

You woke up one morning, the baby laying besides you sound asleep. Getting up from the bed, putting on your slippers as opening the windows. Today, you were going to New York because of his PR manager.

You bathed your baby girl, Lux. She totally had Austin’s face. So when you missed him, you looked at her, but whenever he screwed up, you couldn’t look at her. You knew you were being immature but— how can you look at your daughter when she has the face of a man that has hurt you multiple times?

Getting to NYC wasn’t a really long trip, but you never liked it.

You never quite liked New York after getting in a relationship with Austin. Granted, before getting with him, you and your friends spent many morning doing ‘shame-walks’ back to apartments or hotels after wild nights out.

That’s literally how you met Austin, half drunk and with cigarette in your hand, waiting for a taxi to pass by, you didn’t even notice the ash from your cigarette had burnt a hole into Austin’s shirt.

Back then, 2019, he had broken up with Vanessa a month ago and when you got with him, you knew the kind of scrutiny you were getting yourself into. The rumors of you being his side-girl, the reason he broke up with her. And you know, at first you were just a stupid rebound, a one night thing. But when you didn’t leave the next morning after having sex— you both knew you were up for a ride.

Arriving at his apartment in New York, you entered and turned on all the lights, it looked like no one really lived there, not because it was ugly but because everything was so neat. It’s like he only woke up, did his morning routine, went out, and came back to sleep. That was mostly because he basically had been living here on his own for months.

You two didn’t even act like a couple anymore, like anyone would think you’re divorced and you have custody of the kid.

Didn’t take long before he arrived, you heard the keys and the doorknob turning. You heard his boots and he finally entered the living room. You were breastfeeding Lux.

“Oh, fuck, you scared me.” He jumped a little, all the lights were turned off except a small lamp.

“I thought you knew we were here already.” You rolled your eyes. Lux had finished eating, so you pulled her from your breast, covered up and started burping her.

She was so small still, none of this was her fault. Austin leaned down and only kissed your cheek. Not your lips, no nothing. Biting the inside of your check, you glanced down.

“I went to eat but— there’s plenty of food on the fridge.” Austin said, pushing his now long blond hair back. “If you want anything.”

“I had some fruit I saw in the fridge. I’m not very hungry lately.” You said, maybe it was just the whole postpartum thing. It was something weird and new to you. Losing hair, gaining weight, feeling depressed. It all took a toll on you. As it did on other women.

“Well, you should eat. You have been losing too much hair, baby. You have nothin’ on your head!” Austin tried to joke. The joke didn’t quite land, at all.

You got yourself onto his apartment, he had hanged pictures of you, he had added a few of the three of you. Recent one, from when Lori was but a few weeks old. Hanged there on the top of his bed.

You dropped one of your earrings and you knelt to grab it. Reaching to grab it, what did you grab? A g-string.

It wasn’t yours. You are a mother now. A g-string couldn’t hold your entire vagina even if you wanted to.

He had been seeing her again. That fucking nepo-baby. Kaia Gerber. He had been seeing her since the end of 2021. You had told him: it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass. But he didn’t listen.

When you told him to do something, he did the opposite.

But you wanted karma to get him. It still hurt, of course. You had just had his baby, it would hurt anyone. You just threw it down there again.

You two were selfish, bringing a little kid to this horrible life, where his parents weren’t that much in love anymore.

You were young when you and Austin started to date, pretty much freshly out of school. You were naive back then, thinking that love could beat everything. What a stupid little girl, who makes stupid decisions and never learns.

“You’ve been seeing her again.” You said to him.

“We’ve been through this before, y/n…” he groaned, as if what you said was an inconvenience.

“Exactly. And every time I try to tell you that she’s not good for you—“

“It’s my goddamn business, alright?” He snapped at you after interrupting.

“It’s not just your business, you son of a bitch. There’s a baby involved. Your baby. Yours.” You finally snapped too.

“Listen. I don’t want to argue today, alright?” He laid back on the couch.

He was a pretty fucker, you wouldn’t deny it. He had gained a shit ton of muscle for the movie he had started filming. He looked three times bigger than when you had first met him.

“PR wants you to be on set tomorrow, with Lux.” Austin said. Looking at his phone.

“Why?” You asked, confused. You barely visited him on any set. Not because you didn’t want to but because he didn’t want you distracting him.

“What else for? Photos. They want to see us be a pretty little fucking family. Isn’t that good?” He said, a little smirk on his face.

“Like, putting on a show?” You asked, confused. You weren’t new to PR moved but this one seemed a little… icky.

“It’ll benefit us both! And it’s a chance for you to finally see me get into action.” He smiled, as if this was a normal Tuesday. Nothing like a good ol’ PR stunt.

“Right, to make you seem like the family guy, got it.” You said sarcastically.

“Don’t be so sarcastic, alright? It’ll make wonders.”

You sat by his side, he turned to face you and his hand reached for your cheek, caressing it with his thumb.

“You have to help me out, baby. Alright, doll?” He basically purred out.

He had a way of making you want to do anything he said.

“Just this one time.” You agreed, reluctantly, you wanted to smack him but you wanted to help him.

“God, I love you.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek, his beard itchy.

You didn’t understand him, did he love you? Did her love Kaia? Did he love just the idea of you being there for him? What did he love?

You got ready to visit him in set while Lux was asleep, once she woke up from her sleep, you bathed her in a little plastic tub.

“Look at you, you smell delicious.” You said as you basically breaded her with baby powder. You liked baby smell, just the smell of them. They smelled clean, pink, you couldn’t even describe it. “Wanna go and see daddy?”

You sprayed on perfume before leaving his apartment. You looked pretty enough for the photos. The whole ride there was filled with traffic, but that’s New York City for all.

Once you got there, you were welcomed by his publicist, Kate.

“Y/n! Over here. Listen, it’ll be easy. You just wait here until Darren yell ‘cut’, then Austin will come up and you’ll be holding Lux. He’ll play with her. Smile at you, kiss you.”

Like acting. Quite literally scripted like a movie scene.

“Okay, yes. Sure.” You nodded, pushing Lux’s stroller.

You walked to the sidelines of filming, standing besides makeup artists, the hair girls, costume, producers, etc. They leaned down and cooed Lux whenever they could.

“She looks just like him!” They said, each and every single one of them.”

Even Darren himself said so. You voicing help but roll your eyes. You hated that she looked so much like him. She had her face, yet she was innocent. She hadn’t done anything to you. Nothing. Just be born with that idiot’s face.

Then it came acting time, Darren yelled ‘cut’ and you reached for Austin with little Lux in your arms. She had a pink onesie and a little pink headband.

Austin went into daddy mode, walking towards you as he cooed baby Lux. He got closer and player with her tiny hands.

“They’re right behind you.” He said as she kept smiling. He was referring to fans there, whose pictures would fly on the internet as soon as they were posted.

They were a complete hit as his PR had predicted. So they went with it, they planned another PR date. The fucking concert. A Gracie Abram’s one at that. Neither did you or Austin listened to her music.

“This is ridiculous.” You muttered as you looked outside the car window. You wore basic clothes, you took your time with the hair and maybe the makeup. But you didn’t leave the apartment very relaxed, there was a nanny taking care of Lux but you didn’t trust her. The fuck you did, you didn’t trust anyone to be around her.

“Just for the photos, alright? I don’t want to do this either but you know— PR.” He said.

The concert was lame, not that the girl wasn’t talented but you weren’t even focused on the whole ordeal. Instead, you focused on texting the nanny about Lux while Austin drank a Corona. Nothing, maybe it it had been a concert of an artist you both enjoyed, you two would have been wrapped on each other’s arms, but who knows? With how things had been, you doubt it.

Getting out of the concert, he put on a fucking face mask. You sighed, but you grabbed his arm as you walked towards the car, the paparazzi there already picturing you two. You weren’t used to paparazzi, you would never be, so you clung onto him, at least a bit tighter. Almost like a deadly grip. Then he took his face mask off, and her rubbed his hand a few times. He looked annoyed already.

The photos went out that very night, various tabloids, and fan accounts of him posted them. So, it didn’t go as planned.

Austin Butler and girlfriend, Y/n, make another public appearance after attending Gracie Abrams’ concert. They’re still going strong!

“He’s the creator of #ihatemygf lol🤣”

“Can she be any less clingy? He looks uncomfortable.”

“She’s gripping him like he’s going to run away if she lets go! 😂”

“They have zero chemistry. I smell a break up.”

“I’m tired of the media forcing them down my throat!”

“She has ZERO MEDIA TRAINING. She’s been with him for six years and she still acts like a frigid little girl.”

“Are these two supposed to be couple goals? I don’t even wish this relationship on my worst enemy.”

“These two can’t even make a PR stunt look buyable! If I were a paparazzi, I wouldn’t even sell these photos!”

Looks like there’s trouble in paradise! Austin Butler and baby mama, y/n. Make yet a second public appearance but people are quick to point out the switch in their body language. As in other photos, it seems like Austin tried to get her off him subtly. As a quote from himself:

‘My love language is physical touch. Tell how great I am and touch me.’

Are we smelling a break up or was it just a common couple disagreement?

“They need to get off each other’s back. He needs a woman his age and she needs a guy her age.”

“They’re stupid for having a baby, they look like they hate each other.”

“Why is she not taking care of his baby?!”

“Do they hate each other? They’re a mess!😂”

“I can’t even look at the second photo without cracking up. Austin’s face says: finally this clingy bitch got off me. 😆”

Yeah, it didn’t go as planned. Austin wasn’t pissed but he was definitely annoyed.

“This is the last fucking time I’m listening to Kate.” Austin threw his phone on the bed. Irritated, he had done all that circus last night for nothing. “Listen, let’s talk.”

You sat there, Lux laid in bed, this could have been a very wholesome family moment. But you three weren’t a wholesome family.

“Alright, let’s talk.” You nodded.

“This thing between us,” he pointed at you and then at the baby and then at him. “It’s not working, it stopped working a long time ago.”

You nod, you knew that. Hell, you knew that since the last trimester of your pregnancy. When you spent them mostly in bed or taking baths. You knew you had become boring but it wasn’t your intention. Nobody ever told you that the life you were creating took so much from you. Lux leeched from you for nine months straight.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” You said, almost as in a tone that said ‘isn’t it obvious?’

“I don’t know why we don’t work anymore. I don’t know what the hell happened between us.” Austin pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

“And what am I supposed to do, huh? I hadn’t seen you in two months, you left me in LA, alone with—“

Austin clenched his jaw, tight. “Don’t out this all on me. It was your choice to have the baby. Maybe if you hadn’t got pregnant, we wouldn’t have this mess!”

After he said that, something inside of you snapped. What the fuck were you doing still with him? With a guy who never woke up by your side. With a guy whose career was his main priority. With a guy that sweet-talked you to have a baby and when he couldn’t handle the changes, flew to NYC. You changed, yes. But it was for him and because of him. You couldn’t keep living with the uncertainty.

“That’s it. I’m going back to LA.” You stood up from the bed, cuddling baby Lux in your arms. You grabbed your purse and Lux’s baby bag. Austin’s eyes widened.

“Are you seriously making another scene, again Austin asked with an irritated expression, but when you grabbed Lux’s baby bottler, he knew you were serious. “No, wait. Hear me out.” He tried to stand in front of you.

“I’m tired of hearing you out!” You said as she circled around him, getting out of the bedroom.

“I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be such an asshole. Or take it out on you. I guess I’m not handling all of this well.” He said softly.

“That’s not my fault.” You snapped again. Tired of always being understanding. Of always trying to be calm and respectful of whatever he said.

“I know. I was just being a dick, alright? I’m sorry,” He looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes, but you wouldn’t fall, not again.

“I’m tired of being understanding and kind. I’m tired of having to listen to every single one of your excuses. I’m done with this. I’m done with being shredded to pieces by the media because you can’t seem to like me. I’m done with you playing with me and that fucking nepobaby. I’m tired of having to be there for you in everything and you can’t even do it for me.”

You snapped, looking at him right in the eye.

“This is where we end.” You said, you didn’t even give him an ultimatum. It just wouldn’t be fixed. It wouldn’t.

“No, wait! You can’t just break up with me. We have a kid, y/n, have common sense…” He said, reaching for your hand.

Were you about to cry because he was holding back tears? Of course. You rarely saw him cry, but you had to be strong. At least for yourself.

“We can be co-parents. It’s the best thing for her. I don’t want her growing up in a place where her parents hate each other’s guts.” You said, you had made up your mind. “I’m sorry.”

You said before storming out of his apartment.

He couldn’t even move. Seriously. Everything had come down on him. Maybe if they hadn’t done that stupid PR stunt, they would have gotten a week or more together.

Author’s note: This is so fucking long, wtf????

Anyways. Thank you for reading 🫶💕

[dead-boys-club]

†  memories : katsuki.

❥ scenario: i wish that you would stay in my memories. ❥ no triggers; not rated. ❥ no betas. ❥ requested.

it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

you hadn’t planned on running into him again - not after everything, not after the way things ended back in ua. but here he was, standing in the doorway of your kitchen with his familiar presence filling the space, making it feel smaller and too quiet all at once.

what was he even doing?

katsuki didn’t say anything at first, just leaned against the counter with that same intense expression you remembered from years ago. it was the look he used to give you when he was trying to hold something back, wrestling with words he didn’t know how to say. part of the reason you weren't together anymore - his inability to communicate.

the silence stretched on, heavy with everything left unsaid, until he finally spoke, his voice low and rough. “you’re still… here.” The words hung in the air, not just a statement of where you were standing, but an echo of the past he’d never fully let go.

you were struggling to keep it in the past.

you tried to keep your voice steady, folding your arms to create some barrier, any kind of shield between you and the memories that threatened to surface. “yeah, still here. you too, apparently.”

he nodded, glancing around, his gaze lingering on the little details that hadn’t changed since the days you’d spent here together, laughing, arguing, and just… existing in each other’s lives. back then, the kitchen had been your shared refuge, a place where he’d let himself soften, where you’d sit on the counter while he grumbled about his day, cooking you dinner.

he occasionally stayed up to pack you little lunches.

“things… look the same,” he muttered, barely meeting your eyes. His voice was softer, almost vulnerable in a way that katsuki bakugo rarely allowed himself to be. “it’s like nothing changed.”

but you both knew it had. the years had shifted you in ways that made even simple conversations feel different, edged with a mixture of nostalgia and lingering pain.

you looked away, swallowing the ache that rose in your throat. “People change, katsuki. things end, whether we want them to or not.”

he flinched at your words, as if you’d struck him. the line between his brows deepened, his frustration clear. “i know that. doesn’t mean it doesn’t still… mess with my head, alright?” his fists clenched at his sides, a habit he’d never grown out of. “sometimes i feel like i could walk in and… like you’d still be here, waiting.”

the admission hung between you, raw and unguarded, and it made something inside you twist painfully. he’d always been so determined, so sure of himself, but now there was a crack in his armor, a glimpse of the hurt he never let show.

“katsuki,” you said quietly, finally meeting his gaze. “we’re both different people now. you’re a hero. you’ve got your life, your work. And me… i’ve moved on.” the words felt hollow, even as you tried to convince yourself that they were true.

his jaw tightened, his eyes darkening with something fierce and unspoken. “have you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of his words crashed over you like a wave.

he had always been able to see straight through you.

you wanted to say yes, to give him the closure he needed, but standing here, with the ghost of your past filling the air around you, the answer felt so much harder to hold onto.

he pushed off the counter, stepping closer, his presence intense and overwhelming, as it had always been. “i just… i can’t stand thinking of someone else here,” he muttered, his voice laced with an anger he could barely contain. “thinking that this could’ve been us.”

the words cut deep, stirring the memories you’d tried so hard to bury. in his eyes, you saw the reflection of what could have been - a life you’d once dreamed of, a love you’d thought would last. but the years had taught you that some things weren’t meant to be, no matter how much you wanted them.

with a shaky breath, you took a step back, creating a space between you that felt both necessary and agonizing. “kat… you know we can’t go back.”

he looked away, his shoulders slumping in defeat. for a moment, you saw the boy he’d been back in ua, the one who’d held you with a fierceness that made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered. but now, as he turned to leave, you knew that part of him was as lost to you as you were to him.

and as the door closed behind him, you were left in the silence of a kitchen that still held the echoes of a love that neither of you had ever truly let go.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

aww yeah ep 20 GOOD

I guess I do (very casual, broadstroke) episode commentaries now, halfway through the show lmao. Spoilers below!!

Bai Jiu BETRAYAL?

Wen Xiao WANTED?

Zhuo Yichen DETECTIVE-ING?

Ying Lei BACK?

*crowd cheers*

The dots are connecting like crazy with the big bad's whole inner core crusade and also with the simultaneous demon case like I did not recognize Ao Yin as the demon Li Lun first released eight years ago but oooh do I enjoy that minor payoff.

Love the repeated use of the demonic-spell-restraining sigils now that we've been introduced to them, though I wonder why the Bureau doesn't ever seem to make use of them. Maybe they don't deal with enough powerful demons to need to paint those in their own (very empty) dungeon? Or perhaps just plot convenience.

Anyway I kind of wish in the Chongwu Camp dungeon PSJ fought a little bc she's so cool in action and their bailing was a little abrupt, but it makes sense that they'd have an immediate getaway plan. Also this is an ep 19 comment but that line Mr. 3-Face Mask delivered about PSJ being fated to always be betrayed by her little brother(s) HURT. So good.

Back to the Bureau, I do love me a good framing, and I'm also happy to get a tiny bit of the episodic demon-murder-case style back. WX was v clever to hide out in Situ Mansion, and (small detail but) I appreciate that the others catch her up on the Bai Jiu thing onscreen. As an aside, I also like that the actress for WX got to be double-casted even just briefly. Seeing some of the actors get to play around with portraying various extremes in characterization and costuming is a ton of fun.

And then yay Bai Jiu backstory at last~! It's crazy how much that blood moon fucked up everyone's lives eight years ago huh.

Everything ZYC says to him is on point (and honestly, ZYC is really quite adept at comforting others, he just sucks utter ass at it when it's his fault and he has to apologize lmaooo) but of course my favorite scene in the whole episode is as follows:

The very slight shine in the waterline, the bittersweet smile/grimace as, deliberately or not, ZYC's words indirectly echo everything about the circumstances between the two of them right now??? Whew. They did that for me specifically.

Anyway, this was a good one to chew on for me, packed with plot movement enough that I didn't feel unsatisfied with just one episode. I'm glad that so far it seems like the release schedule bears in mind what episodes should be watched in pairs for maximum effect (eps 16/17, 18/19 specifically) and which ones are okay to stand alone for the day, but I also don't want to speak too soon haha. We'll see how ep 21 fares.

Also since this is a ZYC stan account (lmao) I have some obligatory ZYC thoughts that I haven't managed to fit anywhere else. I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now and was reminded by this episode: I love the fact that ZYC actually smiles quite often. I think it's a bit surprising every time he does because he so easily fits the archetype of stoic broody action hero, but it really is just an archetype he's fit himself into, and it's never clearer than when they flash back to smiley baby!ZYC (how freely and purely he used to give those smiles away...).

On the other side of this is also how caustic and biting he can be with his words, whether sarcastically or otherwise, and how clearly his face telegraphs his emotions in general. I love that he actually emotes quite a lot and isn't cold and unaffected in the least, just pouty frowny and awkward.

The last piece to this for me is probably his age (which I very much appreciated being established super early on) and how convincingly TJR portrays him as young and inexperienced and extremely earnest. He's so sincere in everything he does that it really doesn't take much to move him, which also (imo) makes his arc less overdone.

We all know from the start what direction his development will likely go, how he'll learn he's mistaken about ZYZ and how he'll grow to have a more nuanced view of the world as he creates more bonds with others. But he's so emotional and emotionally aware that it doesn't really take much push and pull to get him there. And actually, it's not untread ground to him—he is moreso thawing, in part returning to the open-hearted nature that he had to very abruptly shutter away rather than fundamentally changing as a person. I think to me, that makes his character more compelling to watch because his cynicism about the world is perhaps the least sincere thing about him. It's entirely learned, and not by choice. Relatable.

[lovegalor333]

fresh start

part one (chapters 1-3) story info • next part

word count: 6.1k

content warnings: mentions of homophobia and depression

Lily

Transferring to University of Connecticut in my junior year was my final lifeline.

No one has actually verbalised that but it was an unspoken understanding.

Everyone in my life, back home in Boston knew that coming to UConn was a fresh start for me and a second opportunity at life.

I started my college career at UMass in my home state of Massachusetts. Going to college was just another thing on my list to tick off to pacify my family. Unlike my high school peers, I never aspired to go to college, in fact I didn't think I'd be alive by the time it came around.

"You must be Lily!" A sweet voice pulled me from my inner monologue as I stood in my new bedroom, boxes surrounding me.

"Yes!" I spun around to see a brown haired, brown eyed girl stood in my doorway. I flashed her my biggest, bravest smile.

Fake it till you make it.

"I'm Kelsey." She introduced herself coming closer.

Being a junior, I opted to live in an apartment for my time here at UConn. Four people, four bedrooms. That way I had my own space but still the option to mingle in our shared living room and kitchen. I knew I was sharing with three other girls as there was a paper with all our names listed on the table when I entered the apartment a few hours ago.

Kelsey

Madison

Hannah

and me, Lily.

"Nice to meet you." I say and Kelsey hugs me tight, its a warm hug and I can tell its not just a pleasantry, Kelsey feels kind and that relaxes me immediately.

"Looks like we're the first to arrive, how long have you been here?" She asks looking around at the numerous open boxes with my possessions spilling out of them.

"A few hours - how about you?" I bounce the question back to my new roommate.

"Oh I got here last night. Just took a walk around to familiarise myself. I lived on the complete other-side of campus last year but wanted to upgrade for my junior and senior year." She explained.

"I expect a tour at some point then." I joke but Kelsey nods enthusiastically, "Of course! Did you live off campus last year?"

"No. Well, yes - I lived in a whole different state. I just transferred from UMass." I tell her.

I decide to keep my explanation of why I transferred clean and concise.

Massachusetts was not for me.

I was born and raised there and needed something new. I'm not ashamed of my life and what has happened, I'm just very aware that not everyone needs to know everything about me.

Not yet anyway.

And besides, this is supposed to be a fresh start and how can there be any truth in that if I spend my time talking about the past.

Kelsey stayed in my room for the next few hours and helped me unpack the majority of my stuff. Things were starting to look normal rather than like a bomb had just exploded, I was thankful for the help.

I learned a lot about Kelsey in the time we spent filling my wardrobe and organising my dresser. She was studying Education as she wanted to be a preschool teacher. She was also from New England - New Hampshire to be precise (East Coast girlies unite). She was a party girl and insisted on showing me the bars near-by. She was newly single and was making it her junior year goal to stay that way.

Me too. But I didn't mention that.

Her favourite colour was red which looking at her now, was obvious. She sported a red baby tee and had her nails painted the exact same shade. She couldn't function without a morning coffee.

Me too. I did mention that.

I liked Kelsey a lot.

"So Kinesiology..." She started mentioning my choice of major.

"Yes - it was kind of a last minute decision. I love sport, especially soccer and I knew I needed to study something that I could relate to a hobby or I would have lost interest." I laughed.

"Do you play soccer?" I shook my head immediately, "God no. I have absolutely no athletic ability I just love watching it." I say as we sit on my bed side by side, backs against the wall.

Watching soccer, whether it be on TV or in real life was the only time my brain truly shut off. I was too focused on where the ball was, who it was being passed to, how well the pass was being executed and if the net would ripple at the end of a well thought out play to focus on anything else.

"I suppose ninety minutes of tight kits and sweaty bodies isn't a bad view." Kelsey giggled and I couldn't argue.

"Do you watch or play any sports?" I turn my body to Kelsey slightly giving her my attention, I preferred talking about others.

"Definitely don't play. As for watching, I make myself present if theres a big tournament on, usually at the bar mind you." She points a finger at me matter of factly.

"But enough about me. I feel like I've told you my life story and all I know about you is you're a Bostonian who loves soccer. Tell me something fun! Are you dating anyone? What's your type?" She asks eyebrows wiggling at me.

I contemplate my answer carefully not knowing how to broach the subject. Kelsey makes me feel like I can trust her but in reality I've known her less than 12 hours so don't actually know her. I remind myself why I'm here: to start afresh. I decide to be honest, I spent way too long hiding who I really was.

"I'm not dating anyone." I confess, the words feeling foreign even though its the truth. "My last relationship didn't end so well. In fact, it almost ended me." I quip making light of a not so light time in my life not so long ago. "Oh no, I'm sorry Lily. I'll kill the guy if I ever meet him." She says seriously, hands balled into fist as if she's a boxer preparing to go into the ring.

Here goes nothing.

"The girl." I say correcting her. "You'll kill the girl if you ever meet her." I stay silent trying to read Kelseys reaction to the fact that I'm gay. Living in America you never know what to expect when you reveal something like that, I just hoped mine and Kelseys newfound friendship wasn't about to come to a premature end.

"I have no problem beating a bitch up." The brunette says flicking her hair off her shoulder. I breathe a sigh of relief, the revelation doesn't seem to have bothered her in the slightest. "My sisters lesbian and I've heard enough stories to know girls are just as bad a guys. Maybe you should join the sisterhood of single juniors." She says, raising an eyebrow putting her hand between us for me to place mine on top and join the unofficial club. I hesitate because deep down I'm a lover girl and despite my heart being in a million pieces right now I know I want to love again.

"Hey, there's no contract. You can leave at anytime and theres no rules that say we can't have fun." Kelsey playfully reassures sensing my hesitation so I place my hand on top of hers, "Single sisters!" We both giggle, Kelsey leaning her body into mine so our shoulders are touching.

This feels like the perfect start to my life in Connecticut.

I left Boston broken. Brokenhearted and mentally in pieces.

My once big friendship group had dwindled down to one best friend. My ever growing confidence had come to a halt and years of therapy was thrown down the drain.

My Sophomore year was turbulent at best, coming to terms with my sexuality was a journey and then being outed was crushing and too much for me to handle. Managing my emotions has always been a problem of mine, I feel everything or I feel nothing. Both ends of the spectrum can be scary and dangerous and I did stupid things and made an almost irreversible decision.

UConn and Kelsey feels like the light at the end of the tunnel.

Madison and Hannah showed up at some point that evening. The girls had been roommates their Freshman and Sophomore year so already knew each other well. Kelsey and I introduced ourselves and we decided as a group, pizza for dinner was the best way to spend our first night together. We spoke and ate in the living area of our apartment until tiredness took over us one by one.

As I lay in my new bed in my new room I think of the days and weeks to come. I want to start off the best I can, give myself the best opportunity to love life again. Starting tomorrow, my goal was to find a student job on campus. Classes would take up most of my time but I needed pretty much all of my time filled, that way my mind wouldn't stray. I also wanted to scope out the sports. UConn was known for their amazing athletics program and I couldn't wait to be watching games again.

Oh and of course Kelsey wants to go to a bar tomorrow night, Hannah and Madison too so I close my eyes preparing for a busy day ahead, the melatonin I'd taken kicking in.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

My first day in Storrs as a student at UConn was going better than expected.

Kelsey had showed me her favourite coffee place and it had lived up to her hype. I got my usual order of an iced caramel latte with soya milk. I had unintentionally made myself lactose intolerant after being vegan for a few years. I was no longer vegan but dairy refused to be introduced back into my diet. While we sipped our drinks she gave me the grand tour of campus and then Downtown Storrs. It reminded me a lot of Boston which was bittersweet but I focused on the sweet.

"And that," She says pointing to one of the buildings with a huge Huskies sign, "is the infamous Huskies! The best bar around...well, the only bar around but never-mind. That's where we're going tonight." My roommate tells me and does a little dance which makes me laugh.

We finished our coffees on the walk back to campus and Kelsey dropped me off at the Athletics building where I was going to enquire about a student job. I had checked online and there were a few available, I just had to apply. I figured showing my face would make me stand out compared to the many applicants I'm sure admissions would have to choose from. It also gave me an opportunity to check the team rosters and schedule. I became friends with a lot of the student athletes at UMass because I went to so many games, it made me wonder if that would be the case here at UConn.

Walking into the building, it was obvious there was a gym inside I could hear what I assumed to be people working out. Music blasted through speakers though it was muffled by the closed doors and the clanging of weights dropping further verified my assumption.

The doors were closed as I walked passed what I now know is the weight room from the sign outside. My curiosity tempted me to peek inside the room as I heard a cacophony of voices, girls voices for sure.

I was stopped in my tracks, "Hi, can I help you?" The voice came from an older woman, I looked to her and smiled, "Yes please. I'm looking for the main office, here to enquire about a student job this semester." I explained.

"Oh wonderful - follow me, I'm Janet. Head of admissions for the Athletic Department."

I followed Janet down a few corridors and up a set of stairs before reaching the office. The walls along the way all adorned with various UConn teams holding trophies and medals covered in confetti. It was clear they were no strangers to winning here.

"So we have a few positions on offer is semester. I suppose it depends on what kind of role you're looking for." Janet says sitting behind her desk and inviting me to sit facing her.

"I'm studying Kinesiology so I'm just grateful to have the opportunity to work within the Athletics department at all. I'd be happy with anything." I say and truly mean it.

"What is your schedule like?" Janet asks.

"My classes are most days until 4 or 5pm. Wednesday's are completely free as are evenings and weekends." I tell her.

"Hm OK, we have a position here for a Communications Intern. You'll be assisting with post and pre game press conferences and social media posts. You'll be at most home games on the sidelines, taking notes for our journalists to write in articles and pictures to post on our socials - nothing professional of course, we have photographers for that but the fans like to see some behind the scenes on game days." Janet reads off her screen before looking up at me with a raised brow, "How does that sound?"

"That sounds great!" I replied enthusiastically, "As a fan of sports myself, hopefully I can show game days from a new angle."

"Amazing! Our womens teams are gaining a lot more traction, not just on campus so I'm positive fans who can't make it to games in person will be grateful." Janet smiles, typing a few words then standing from her desk. "I've put your name down - at the top of the list in bold - it's always nice when applicants come and see us face to face." I smile to myself knowing that would be the case.

"Thank you for making time to see me." I say to Janet, shaking her extended hand before she leads me out of the office. "My pleasure."

Outside of Janets office is a huge ceiling to floor window with a perfect overview of the gym below. I was correct earlier, there are people working out and it is girls. I stop momentarily to take in the view below me, my mind automatically goes to my major and I wonder what paths these girls are on. Are any of them injured or coming back from injury? I'm immediately intrigued as I watch them perform different exercises.

"Those are our basketball girls." Janet breaks my daydream. "I suspect you'll be working with them a lot this semester."

I turn to her my eyes slightly widened, does that mean I've secured the job?

"If your application is successful of course." She smirks but its a knowing smirk that puts me at ease.

"Oh, and thats Kayla." She points out a specific girl in the gym, dressed differently from the others and considerably shorter so I immediately assume she's not on the team. "She works here in the main office with me. She's a great girl to know, I'll introduce you."

I follow Janet back down the stairs and through the same corridors we took less than thirty minutes ago. This time I take more care as I look at the pictures on the walls, the basketball team seem to take up the majority. I spot names like Sue Bird and Diana Taurasi which I am familiar with but not too much, in all honesty I've never watched a full game of basketball in my life. As we get closer to the end of the corridor where the pictures get more recent I notice one girl in particular, a blonde, she seems to always be in the middle of group photos, her teammates looking at her with admiration. Her smile contagious, making me smile as if I'm in the picture myself.

"Prepare yourself." Janet laughs as we approach the weight room door. "What for?" I ask now not so curious about going inside as I was earlier. "They're a lively lot." Is all she says before pushing open the door.

I take a sharp inhale, anxiety creeping in as I follow Janet into the room of athletes.

Every single one of my senses was hit walking into the weight room. The noises that were once muffled by the closed doors were now loud and clear. The room was significantly colder than the rest of the building for obvious reasons but I wrapped my arms around myself nonetheless. Thanks to my deep inhale on walking in, I was only now getting a waft of what smelt like a mix of sweat and fruit. I say a silent prayer that its the girls in here because I know for a fact it would be sweat mixed with more sweat if it was the boys. My eyes scanned the room quickly taking in what I just seen from above. I recognised some of the girls from the photos on the walls, not the blonde though. She wasn't here. Maybe she was a senior and had graduated already, a shame if that is the case.

"Hello ladies." Janet calls over the booming music. One by one the girls turn their attention to us and smile or wave and I return the pleasantries.

"A new commit?" I hear a voice behind me ask before feeling a hand press down on each of my shoulders. I unconsciously tense at the surprise contact.

"No, no. This is Lily - a junior here. She just applied for a job in the department so I'm showing her around." Janet explains and the girl that just had her hands on my shoulders walks in front of me revealing herself.

"Oh damn my bad, I got excited for a second." She laughed a little embarrassed, "I'm KK, nice to meet you." The girl introduced herself.

"Nice to meet you, KK." I smile at the basketball player and she goes to join the rest of girls who are now teasing her for basically jumping on my back. I didn't mind, it just caught me off guard. Besides, I'd rather these girls be overly friendly than cold and moody especially if I'll be working with them soon.

"I'm Paige." A slender hand extends itself to me, coming from the same direction KK came from. I take the hand in mine before looking to see who exactly 'Paige' was. "Hi-" my words get lodged in my throat.

There she was.

The girl from the photos. The blonde with the contagious smile and, I'm now realising, extremely blue eyes like the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

I compose myself quickly, "Hi Paige, I'm Lily." I manage without stuttering as I shake the girls hand before letting go, somewhat reluctantly.

Her hand was bigger than mine and it was warm pressed against my palm, my hand tingled where her touch just was.

"What's your major?" She asks and she seems genuinely interested.

"Kinesiology." I reply, turning my full attention to Paige, my back now to Janet.

"Interesting! You'll get along perfect here, lots of bad knees." She says lifting her leg showing off a nasty scar before tapping me on the shoulder and joining KK and the others.

"Lily hasn't got the job yet, Paige." Janet called after the girl who turned around, "You know what to do Jan!" She called back with a grin.

The girls giggled as she joined them and she playfully shoved one of them away. I couldn't hear their hushed words over the music but the way Paige glanced back at me, making direct eye contact, made me think it was about me or maybe I was just delusional hoping the pretty girl was in fact talking about me. I quickly averted my gaze.

The type of scar and placement on Paige's knee made me assume she had suffered an ACL tear. Tough, if I was correct. ACLs are a horrible injury to face but I can tell by the way she squats with a barbell rested on her shoulders, her form perfect, posture just right that it was healed. Suddenly my gaze was no longer diverted and I was just staring.

Janet introduced me to Kayla and we spoke for a few minutes, mainly about Kayla's role and how excited she would be if I joined the team as, and I quote, "The Athletics Department needed more girls behind the scenes."

We left the weight room together, Janet bidding us farewell at the door and Kayla and I walking to the exit of the building side by side.

"Welcome to UConn, by the way. I'm guessing you transferred here? I haven't seen you around before." Kayla says to me.

"Thank you! Yes, I just transferred from Massachusetts. So far, so good." I smile as we step outside into the warm August weather.

"It really is great here. Give me your number and we'll meet up, I know you just met Paige and KK but I'll introduce you to the others as well." She says pulling her phone from her back pocket and handing it to me.

I type my number in her phone saving my contact as Lily Kent - my full name. "That will be fun, thank you. I only know my roommates at the moment so I appreciate it." I hand Kayla back her phone.

"Thats the perks of working in sports, you make whole teams of friends." She says proudly.

"I need as many as I can get, it's kinda scary being the new girl. Maybe I'll meet some more tonight, we're going to a bar." I tell my, hopefully, new friend.

"Not the famous Huskies?" Kayla asks sending me a quizzical look. "Yes! The famous Huskies." I laugh, seems like this place has quite the reputation. "Perfect! We'll see you there then."

"We'll"? We all? As in possibly Paige? Suddenly I need to go back to the apartment take an everything shower, beat the hell out of my face and put together the best outfit I own.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

I wrapped myself in my robe and stepped out of the bathroom. All three of my roommates were in the living area of our apartment. "Hey guys!" I chirped, strolling into my room.

"Hey Lils, what are you wearing tonight?" Hannah asked following me into my bedroom. I looked back at her and we both glanced around my room and laughed.

Before taking a shower I attempted to choose an outfit which had resulted in me tearing my wardrobe apart, clothes now covering the majority of my bed and floor.

"Ok girl, never fear - Hannah is here." Hannah reassured sitting slap bang in the middle of the floor reaching for random items of clothing. "It's definitely a casual vibe but also our first night out. Not all students are back on campus yet but the athletes are so arguably thats even more of a reason to look good." She side eyed me from her place on the floor.

Could Hannah read my mind?

I hadn't mentioned my interaction or reaction to Paige to any of my roommates yet. Mainly because I had made a pact with Kelsey to stay single - not that Paige was in anyway trying to make me her girlfriend but also because I knew we'd probably see her tonight and three tipsy girls around their friends crush well, it wouldn't stay a secret lets just say that.

I also deep down knew that it was probably way too soon for me to even be thinking about another relationship but I can admire from afar right?

I was with my ex-girlfriend for almost two years before it finally ended in May, three months ago. 21 out of the 22 months we dated, we kept our relationship a secret from pretty much everyone. My best friend, Emma knew but that was it. That was the way we both wanted it, neither of us were out and we enjoyed sneaking around and having a genuinely private, private life.

That was until April when I accidentally left my phone in the library and it was found by someone who I thought was my friend. I stupidly had a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing as my lock screen. My phone was returned to me and everyone acted normal, I thought they hadn't noticed. Until that night, a picture of my lock screen was posted into our group chat and all hell broke loose. I felt physically sick at the words used to describe me and my girlfriend.

I was told I was sick, I needed help, I needed to find God and repent. I was told I was better off dead. It all very quickly became too much and I removed myself from the group chat and hoped to avoid the girls that were a part of it.

Unfortunately, there was no avoiding one another when your families knew each other. My girlfriend and I were promptly outed to all of our friends and families against our wishes. It put a lot of pressure on us. I was lucky to have kept a best friend in Emma. She stood by my side when nobody else did. My family were understanding, confused for a while but they came round and accepted me for who I am.

My girlfriend wasn't as lucky and that is what ultimately broke us apart. I don't blame her, she chose a relationship with her family and not being disowned over me. I can't blame her.

I blamed myself though. Me and my stupid lock screen had ruined us. I quickly fell into a downward spiral that was impossible to save myself from. I was drowning and I didn't know how to swim. I have a history of depression and I stopped taking my medication, I had lost all will to even try and continue with life and one night I decided I was done.

Life was not worth living if it was like this.

"Ok! How about this skirt, with this top?" Hannah asked holding up a distressed mini denim skirt and black bandeau top.

I looked at the outfit in her hands seeing the vision. "Yes, but swap the top for this one." I say holding up a long sleeve black shirt instead.

"Girl, it's August and we're going to be inside. You do not need long sleeves." I swallowed, I knew this would come up sooner or later. "Yes I do." Was all I said and luckily Hannah dropped the subject and threw me my skirt.

"Get ready! I'm going to change, we're leaving in an hour." The blonde girl stood up from my bedroom floor and left me alone to get dressed.

"Here, drink up." Kelsey placed a red cup, full to the brim, on my desk as I applied my mascara, finishing off my makeup.

"What's this?" I ask not waiting for an answer before taking a swig of the unknown drink. Vodka. It was definitely vodka and something else. I winced at the intensity of the cocktail. "It's the Kelsey Special of course!" My roommate laughed taking a sip from her own cup.

"Oh close your eyes!" She said doing a little jump, "I have a surprise for you."

“A surprise? For me?” I say doing as she says.

"Ok open!" I opened my eyes to see Kelseys hand opened in front of me, a danity string bracelet laying in her palm. "What's this?" I ask taking the thread into my own hands and admiring the intricate plait it was braided into. "It's official Single Sisters merch, duh!" She exclaims taking it back from me and tying it around my left wrist, she held up her own wrist showing off her matching bracelet. "I love them Kels!" I smile as I get up and pull her into a hug, "Thank you." "You're so welcome Lils, now lets get drunk!" And with that she drags me out of my bedroom, drinks in hand, into the kitchen where Hannah and Madison are pouring shots.

By the time we reach Huskies, its safe to say I'm tipsy. I'm not sure how many shots were consumed back at the apartment but I had another cup of the Kelsey Special and my body felt tingly and almost numb, it felt nice. I wasn't new to drinking and I knew my limit so I knew I'd be fine. We each got a drink as soon as we entered the bar and headed straight for the dance floor. The bar was decently busy, I scanned the room, no sign of Kayla...or Paige.

I'm not sure how long I had been dancing with my roommates before I felt an arm drape over my shoulders, "Hey hottie!" I flicked my head round and was met with Kaylas smiling face. "Oh my god, hiii!" I exclaim pulling her in for a hug, the alcohol had definitely hit. "These are my roommates! Kelsey, Hannah and Madison." I say pointing at the three girls individually, Kayla introduced herself as I finished the remainder of my drink.

"Come meet the girls!" Kayla shouted over the loud music, ushering us through the crowd over to a table in the corner of the bar.

She went around the entire group aquainting us with each other. I was now able to put names to the faces of the girls I'd seen in the gym earlier in the day.

Ice, Nika, Aliyah, Azzi, Aubrey and Jana.

"And of course you already met KK and Paige." Kayla says pointing behind me as Paige and KK approached us, multiple drinks in each of their hands.

I'm unsure whether it was the copious amounts of alcohol in my system or the moody low lighting of the bar but Paige looked particularly majestic as she sauntered over to the group. She had this vibe that seemed to follow her. Multiple heads turned in her direction and something told me she knew how hot she was.

KK was quick to put down the drinks she held and embrace me, I hugged the girl back taking in her sweet scent. Paige wasn't so quick, she handed drinks to her teammates and they thanked her before she turned her attention to me and my roommates. She introduced herself to Kelsey, Hannah and Madison giving them all a quick side hug.

"Hi Lily." She says, her eyes looking directly into mine. I have to look up slightly, the girl has some inches on me, "Hello Paige!" I can't help the stupid grin that spreads across my face as she leans in to hug me, not like the other girls, I'm encapsulated by both her arms, I swear if I was a cartoon character this is the moment my eyes would turn into red love hearts. Her scent was different from KKs, more vanilla-y, musky almost, warm.

"First time in Huskies calls for one thing: INITIATION SHOTS!" Nika says pulling me from Paige and leading me to the bar, her hands on my shoulders.

Once we all have a shot in our hands, Nika looks at me, "Ok one fact about you that no one knows!" She says pursing her lips.

God, the list was endless.

"I'm allergic to nuts." That was the most mundane fact that came to my mind.

"And not just the food kind!" Kelsey exclaims making the girls laugh before we knock back our shots.

Kelseys joke seemed to either go over everyones head or life really was different here in Connecticut and no one hated me because I was gay. Either way I felt comfortable around these girls, welcomed and it was a nice feeling.

I was reaching my limit but still found myself stumbling slightly towards the bar.

"Easy there." A hand grabbed my elbow balacing me before I was able to steady myself. "Thank you." I giggled and my words came out slurred.

I had definitely reached my limit but I waved the bar man over. "Vodka cranberry please!" I ordered feeling the hand move from my elbow to my lower back.

Who the hell was this?

I turned my gaze to my left seeing a guy slightly taller than me with brown shaggy hair smirking down at me. With one hand occupied on my lower back, the other dug into his pocket and he pulled out his card, "Let me get this for you." He says as he goes to pay for my drink. "No, it's OK." I say simply, trying to shrug him off. "Let me." He insists pulling me closer to him.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable when I felt his arm get yanked off of me, "She said it's OK, bro." Paige had inserted herself between me and the creep and gave him a light shove away. "Are you OK?" She asks looking at me sincerely, brows furrowed together. I nod, "I'm fine." I say as I pay for my drink. "Are you sure?" She double checks. "I promise, Paige. I've dealt with worse than a drunk guy in a bar." I reassure her. "As long as you're OK." She says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we walk back to the table her teammates were once gathered around.

Paige sits down at the booth and I intently watch as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and reajusted her t-shirt.

"You like what you see?" Paige is smirking now and I've been caught red handed.

"I um- I-"

Pull yourself together Lily!

"I wasn't staring." I defend myself lazily. Paige laughs, "But you were staring in the gym earlier." She says matter of factly, raising her brows at me.

I feel my cheeks burn, well and truly red handed.

"What?" Is all I can manage as a response.

"The walls are mirrored babe, just because you were behind me doesn't mean I didn't see you." If it was even possible, my cheeks got hotter with embarrassment.

"Cocky much?" I taunt the basketball player before taking a long, needed sip of my drink.

"When it makes you this flustered, yes." She says reaching out for my wrist, pulling me to sit next to her.

We're so close our legs are touching and I can smell the mix of vanilla and musk again. "Tell me something about yourself Lily. Something other than your allergy to nuts...not just the food kind." Oh god.

I muster every sober fibre inside of me to think of something that doesn't qualify as a trauma dump. I look down at my hands, the bracelet Kelsey gifted me earlier poking out of the bottom of my sleeve.

"I joined a club!" I say waving my arm up showing off the bracelet.

"Oh yeah, what club?" Paige questions, head slightly tilted. "Single sisters!" I say proudly. "It's just me and Kelsey at the moment but we made a pact to stay single all of junior year." I tell Paige about mine and my roommate's promise to each other.

She hooks a finger through the bracelet, her knuckle grazing my skin softly, and tugs gently. "Hey!" I pull my arm away afraid she'll break the delicate thread. "What are you doing?" I frown. "Just checking how secure that thing is." She looks at me with that god forsaken eye contact that she's so good at. "Wouldn't want it breaking." She says eyes still locked onto mine.

"Lilyyyyy." I begrudgingly look away from Paige to see Madison practically being held up by Kelsey and Hannah.

I thought I was drunk.

"I think it's home time." Paige says into my ear, her breath hot on my neck.

"Hi Mads." I say standing up, ignoring the fact Paiges breath had spiked my heart rate. "I think we should get her home." Hannah says and I nod turning to grab my bag.

Well, well, well.

I catch Paige, staring, right at me, I smirk to myself.

One point to Lily.

I bend slightly to pick my bag up off the table, "Looks like we both have a staring problem." I say quiet enough for just Paige to hear and quickly turn on my heel following my friends out of the bar.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

[like-it-or-not-i-am-alive]

Sitting and thinking about how we have absolutely no idea of what is to come.

This could be a stressful four years of financial difficulties. They could literally take away our human rights. Or both.

People are either in the streets celebrating or crying in their beds. There are people playing optimist saying it couldn't possibly be that bad. There are people saying it's WWIII coming.

I don't know what to expect. I want to be realistic. I don't care about cutting corners and sparing feelings. I want everyone to be prepared. I just... I don't know what to prepare for except for the worst. It's so much better to be prepared for doom and meet nothing than it is to realize too little too late that doom has come to your door.

I have witnessed how quickly things can change when they want to. Florida was once a very queer friendly state. At least in major areas. I used to pride myself in Ybor's strong drag history. Our large pride parades and our ample youth support. There were bad patches, of course, it's always going to be rough outside of the cities... and lets be honest, safe for queer people didn't mean the same thing fifteen years ago that it does now. Safe for queer people fifteen years ago was facing less harassment and leading somewhat normal lives.

When I was in high school, gay marriage was legalized across the country. Most states, including Florida, had discrimination protection. Things were getting better.

It took only a year for things to hit the fan. So quickly, Desantis was able to rip my safety away. It took no effort. None. People STILL struggle to get gender affirming care. They tried to ban it even for COUNSELLING.

I wasn't yet on HRT when that happened. It was one of my big motivations to start. I had the privilege and luck to start HRT because I am on my parent's health insurance plan. Plus, I was able to pay out of pocket for the prescription so that if something like this happened I wouldn't get dinged.

Even with my privileged access to insurance and ability to drive a long distance, it took me a long time to start. I wanted to start months before I was able to.

They then tried to criminalize trans people with updated gender markers. They attempted to target trans people by enforcing all Florida IDs to have their AGAB gender marker. Those with updated licences could face a fine or even jail time.

That was VOTED IN. THEY VOTED IT IN.

The only reason it did not fly was because a (very merciful and kind) judge shot the fucking bird as it flew. Stating it was CLEARLY targetting and therefore against the state constitution.

Did you know I didn't even know about it until it was voted in? They snuck it in. They could do it because they wanted to.

When we entered 2024, one of the first deaths of a transgender person was in Florida.

It took only a year for Florida to go from a safer state for queer people to being marked UNSAFE for queer travel.

It took only one year.

I don't trust the "it won't happen" anymore. I was told that so many times, and then it DID. It DID happen.

I don't know what to expect from this. Like I said, I want to be realistic. I just don't know where to look for direction anymore.

I'll be working on some resources.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I may be able to answer them. If not, I'll at least post it so someone else might be able to.

Keep your heads up, kids. Keep your ears sharp and your eyes focused. We will be ready to face this. Whether that means facing rising grocery bills or facing a militia, we will be ready. Together.

[purplehairedwonder]

Helloo do u have any Lawlu + Doffy fic recs (any content rating)? the interactions between those 3 are always so good. Just looove how you write them in your fics!

Why yes, yes I do!

"though the stars may tell us it is so" by pascaliana (T)

Doffy’s a monster, Cora-san had said more than once and Law always wondered but never asked, What does that make me? - In which soulmates are a sacred bond and Law's soulmate is Doflamingo.

"a victory every year" by @betsib (T)

Law finds himself imprisoned in Impel Down, injured and possibly dying. His only company is Doflamingo, who tells him Luffy has been captured too. All in all, not the best way to spend his birthday.

"(Love Will Find a Way) Where Wolves Fear to Prey" by betsib (M)

For the last eight years, Law has been held captive by Donquixote Doflamingo, forced to spend his days as a bunny and his nights in Doflamingo's bed. One day, he sees his chance to flee. A little while later, Luffy finds a lost little bunny on the streets and takes him home.

(Side note: I beta'd this one!)

"as I hold your hollow heart" by @betsib (M)

The Straw Hats pick up Bepo and an unconscious Law after the events at Winner Island. Luffy is more than ready to help him, but when Law opens his eyes, he is a stranger. Meanwhile, Law wakes up in Dressrosa, with Doflamingo's symbol tattooed on his chest and servants calling him "Corazon".

"My Heart Is Still Beating (But I Lost It Long Ago)" by betsib (E)

Law is travelling alone between quarantine zones when he comes across a young man with three bullets in his torso and an unflinching look in his eyes.

"A Smile In My Veins" by @betsib (M)

Law is doing his best to live his life and ignore the fact that he is, technically, no longer alive at all. All he wants is a momentary distraction. Luffy is investigating a series of murders that look like they were caused by vampires, but something seems strange about it. He needs more information. They meet in a bar.

(This is the first fic of betsib's that I ever read, and I knew we had to be friends because our brains are on the same wavelength.)

"Hunger for the Absolute" by ObsidionWingsofMidnight (NR)

When Law woke up from his 500 year slumber, he sure as hell wasn't expecting to get a husband out of it. He also wasn’t expecting to learn that he’d lost a chunk of his memories, or that he’d made new friends during this forgotten time. The marriage thing was weird though. To a king, no less. A very loud, very boisterous, very tactile king that never seemed to stop laughing. And what kind of king wore a straw hat anyway? To top it all off, he still has a million other things to take care of, not the least of which is helping his new husband to secure their kingdom against oncoming threats. But what Law doesn’t know is that there are more dangers lurking than he realizes. Ones from his past that have hidden for centuries, waiting for the right moment to strike. And he’ll need all the help he can get to keep them from consuming him.

"Roll Like Thunder, Burn Like Stars" by killingmonsterswritingthings (M)

Law is a private investigator trying everything to forget his past. But there's ties he can't cut - especially when his past comes back to haunt him in a case. or   “Why do you keep purposefully triggering yourself?” Corazón asked, his voice too close despite the tinny effect of the phone. “I'm still talking to you, aren't I?” Law spat back. It was a terrible thing to say but it was also the only thing he could say without making his hands shake uncontrollably.

(I am absolutely obsessed with this Jessica Jones AU; I've reread it countless times, and it has a vice-like grip on my soul. It hasn't updated in six years, though, sob.)

Enjoy, anon!

[marlynnofmany]

Exciting update on the "Making the House Awesome" front:

(The cat has already tried to use the mock-stonework as a scratching post, but not the door, which actually looks like wood. Cat logic.)

Anyways, this is looking great, and we're very excited.

[iiusia]

hm.

[bigpeepee]

okay so i am once again in a bit of a pickle due to the fact that i never learn from my mistakes :)

[pepprs]

idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH