#this is targeted for one person tbh
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#art#zenythycart#digital art#fanart#scp#fan art#shitpost#dr anna lang#anna lang#dr lang#scp 3001#dr scranton#scp shitposting#this is targeted for one person tbh
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#I also think american exceptionalism and their bizarre cultural one-way street isolation plays a role#i think it's different if you actually see other countries as equals and see that they have female leaders and realise that it's#not going downhill it's not solving everything it's business as usual and it's just another boring fucking politician#and this makes the gender of the candidate LESS (not saying no) issue people obsess about or feel a need to discuss#(e.g. people laying into the appearance of female politicians? certainly misogyny. making jokes about cooking and shoes? definitely too#but I feel like that was more a 'gotta insult these fucking politicians' and gender being one of the targets when people want to do that)#but if you're the US and giant parts of the populace think they're the specialmost extra complicatedest country in this our planetworld#the fact that it works for so many other countries takes a much lower priority#because 'yeah sure a woman can govern a....'checks notes' Fineland and United Kingdom of England or Germanland'#but the US of freedom? we got a red button and what if she's on her period!!?! We are a REAL country!!'#not to mention how deeply entrenched the idea of the US as being CONSTANTLY under attack is and the president as the PROTECTOR#and that protector needs to be daddy of course#i also think the different attitude to leaders plays a role#because a part of misogyny is how much people love to HATE women - to sink their teeth into them and demonise them for every flaw#so any country that has some kind of weird worship of their leaders or sees them as some heroes or extra-class of person*#in my opinion might have a harder time to elect a woman because the moment a woman becomes a candidate#you just have to find the right flaw to go on and on about to make the population absolutely hate her or question her competency#meanwhile the general slack we cut men means they can do whatever but somehow still be compatible with that concept of leadership#(*not just the US ....though a lot of other countries with similar attitudes to their leaders are not standing out as democracies tbh)
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so so so glad ur art has been taking off lately... i've loved ur dol art for ages now, so it's fun to see things with a wider appeal blow up! nwn
ty for sticking with me for so long !!!! it's honestly so surreal tbh,, im just kinda doing whatever comes to mind / whatever i want to do, im glad people seem to like it :33
#idkk its kinda lowkey scary in a way a part of me wants to gatekeep my stuff#NOT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL it just feels like im kinda put under a spotlight and im expected to keep drawing the same shit and idkkk#and idkkkkkk i dont want to say its for a wider appeal its kinda giving me the vibes of calling my drawings content and idkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#like ohh you have to know who ur target audience is oh you have to stop posting that bc no one cares and like who gives a shit#if i like it then i like it#i mean its why i dont put so many main tags in my stuff i just put the general fandom tag and character tag for organization purposes#except for like... that one mouthwashing drawing i think i wanted to add the character tags but it ended up looking like i was trying to#add every single tag under the sun 😭#which isnt bad btw !!!! i think every art/writing/project etc etc deserves to be seen and tags help with that#personally i dont like doing it so much unless i put a considerate amount of effort into a drawing bc i earned it or smthn#shit most of my stuff just has my personal tags in it i really didnt expect for them to suddenly be shared around#its that whole 'fear of being percieved vs that need for validation' i have going on. it kinda annoying tbh#sorry i got so rambly in the tags i overthink a lot can u tell LMAO#franswers
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hi i was thinking abt what you sent me abt scott and the heart foundation and. i mean it all comes down to scott's whole "being honorable" thing doesnt it? like at the end of last life where he was like "oh ive been honorable all season so im gonna keep doing it" and. well theres nothing honorable about killing the heart foundation theyre barely scraping by as is. IDK just. rotates scotts life series character
ROTATING HIM IN A MICROWAVE!!!!!!!
Omg yeahhhhh so much of everything he does is trying to keep that moral code of being honorable, despite everything going to shit around him in the death game
People assign so much malice to Scott's character sometimes and it has me ?????? cause out of the players in the traffic series, Scott really is the one who is the most cordial to everyone else, oftentimes to his own detriment!!!!
Literally show him one little bit of kindness and that will be enough to have him not want to kill you, seen in him deciding not to kill Jimmy as boogeyman in last life, him not killing Bigb in the cave in secret life, the entire thing with Skizz both in lim life and secret life.
When Martyn originally asked Scott to help him with his red task by attacking another player, Scott couldn't help because he had no current enemies and was unwilling to start something with another player he had nothing against.
Scott gives food to people who just killed him, he gives swords to people he shouldn't trust, he gives his hearts away just because someone else got hurt, he refuses to try and scam Tango over the genie deal even when doing so would complete his task, he refuses to go and help kill Skizz, someone who has been nothing but kind to him and who is being hunted down just because he has few hearts and fewer allies, he lets people complete red tasks on him that end with him getting hurt, he gives his life away to his friends and teammates without being asked.
It makes me so AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#mcyt#smajor1995#scott smajor#secret life smp#limited life smp#last life smp#and this is not to say he is not ever aggressive to other players#man gets /petty/ petty when someone hes not willing to forgive wrongs him#and hes a king for that tbh#aint starting the fights but he sure as hell will finish them#but honestly out of all the players scott is one of if not the most likely person to keep his word#and very very often that word is being kind to another person for only the hope that they won't target him first in the future#my post
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I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.
It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.
By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.
Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.
#anti intellectualism#media#movies#books#music#critical thinking#my friend who primarily listens to one very popular band once said that people who listen to obscure music are annoying and pretentious#which rubbed me the wrong way because 1 she knows that I listen to obscure music and 2 it’s such a cowardly consumerist take. anyone can#make music and hey a lot of the people who do make GOOD music. and this goes for all *obscure* media#this post was mostly inspired by people talking about Barbie and those anti pick me girls like the pick nobody girls who insist thinking is#for boys and having fun with an empty brain is for girls. Greta gerwig is an artist. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I know it has a deeper#message than haha cute pink! I’ve seen the summaries about the true meaning. the pinkness and popularity doesn’t negate the narritive.#though in the notes I saw a lot of tumblristas comunistas shitting on the film for being one big ad that people *fell for* which tbh is#tbh almost as anti-intellectual. don’t get me wrong they milked this film to sell hella shit but I don’t believe kids who play with dolls#are the target audience as these people claim. Barbie is a culturally iconic symbol almost archetypical of societal expectations for women#you say barbie people think unblinking perfect plastic pink girly. reminds me of the poem The Last Mojave Indian Barbie. yeah yeah you all#hate brands but this one carries undeniable significance and makes for a powerful literary device. it’s been used many times before#sorry for writing a tag essay about a film I haven’t even seen but I’m tired of internet people focusing so much on proving others wrong#that they end up oversimplifying everything just as much as the other person. god I saw people doing this to Nimona saying transphobes were#looking too deep into her character and they’re reactionary clowns for making that jump. like for once the transphobes are right. she is#trans. it’s a queer story. and irl the first people who notice queerness are the bigots who can tell you’re different. sick owns telling#them the story’s not that deep is harmful and it’s like they’re ignoring the real message on purpose. okay enough rambling hehe! thanks#barbie#nimona
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part 11/26ish
anyone remember those scales with the springs in 'em? all i ever see these days are digital scales but those things made the best noises. i think i've seen some kitchen scales that still use spring mechanisms, but it's been a while.
technology is weird.
from the beginning
#otherkin hrt#fictionkin hrt#fictionkin#otherkin#digihrt#dg arts#-apomon#updates might slow down from daily since our brain ceased letting us do art about halfway through bfsdhjfbjshdbfs#oh well#i'm thinking of doing another fake in-universe pamphlet for a bonus though#specifically like talking about the “weight” stat#fun fact: we'd never stepped on a scale in almost a decade before finally seeing a doctor for the first time in that 10 years last year#we used to obsess over our weight in a way inherited from our mom's diet culture BS and then like#i'm pretty sure we split someone in the system who just managed to not give a shit#and everyone else that did basically got put in time out or fragmented to hell (we still don't know)#i think about this post i saw a while ago that talked about how like#weight (specifically as it is medicalized) shouldn't be a concern so much as if you're moving your joints and stretching them enough#and it should really only be a concern when it drastically changes in a short period of time because it can sometimes be indicative of#your body flipping its lid#the post talked about rapid weight loss specifically and how a lot of doctors will go “oh wow weight loss!! yay :)” when like.#no??? not yay???#anyways some medications can cause weight fluctuations too#our fibro medication can cause weight gain and tbh i don't give so much of a shit about that as i am curious about the mechanics behind it#our relationship to weight is mostly informed by being the one person in our family who never had to deal with fatphobia targeting them#but just because we weren't the target didn't mean it didn't affect us when our mom's whole life shifted around WW#i didn't want to delve into that in this comic tbh so aside from the little bonus pamphlet this is the last time it's brought up#but like a comic where we take a version of ourself through this kind of transition would inevitably have to touch on relationships to food#we're just lucky we finally found out that we can actually like... enjoy food without it hurting us?#part of the wish fulfillment of this scenario would (and is) the idea of getting to enjoy food without bodily discomfort#because on top of us almost developing an ED we also just have a garbage stomach
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3-5 should have ended with that incredible moment of Dahlia being exorcised from Maya's body. The fact that it drags on for so fucking long after that because Godot can't just give it up for bad-man-sad-man reasons (that the game uses Phoenix and Maya to try to convince you are so noble even though the alternative to him confessing is an indictment for Maya) drags the entire case down by a significant degree.
#like again mvk did a similar thing in 1-4 but he did it bc he was a bastard & the game treated him as such#here gdt is an asshole and the game is like noooo he's a good guy!!!!#my favorite part was when he said he didn't tell the one person he should have abt the murder plot#& you think he'd say Maya bc. you know. she was the target. it was her goddamn life on the line#but she says ''you mean Nick?'' and he's like ''the most important man in the room''#DISGUSTING. TRASH. GARBAGE. VOMIT ALL OVER THIS CASE.#also hate the way he talks abt Mia posthumously tbh#''she wouldn't have died if i'd been there''#''it was your job to save her''#i realize Mia did in fact die but that wasn't because she didn't have a man present#like idk the way he talks about her REALLY damsels her in a way she wasn't prior to T&T#and also while one could argue she was killed in 1-2 to further Phoenix's growth (thus fridged) - i'd say no#bc of the channeling. she was a dead mentor who came back all the time#she died to bring in Maya#retroactively using her death to give Godot the sads of having a dead gf retcons her into a fridge#ugh. ugh ugh ugh#i picked up on NONE of this when i first played T&T back in high school#and i'd never made it back to T&T any time i tried to replay the og trilogy after#(i always lost steam after jfa)#my positive memories of gdt and his relationship with Mia have been shattered by this replay#canonically she has shit tier taste in men#yes he's attractive but then he opens his mouth and you're hit with the coffee breath and awful personality#girl what were you THINKING
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tweet that starts with "sorry i don't reach out as much as I used to" retweeted by someone who doesn't reach out at all
#bitter start to the morning tbh sorry this one feels targeted#albeit darkly funny#stuff like this doesn't usually go on the blog but god it's not like they'll notice#i suppose this is an update to my last personal post so ... lmao#jess rants about life
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two days in a row I have mishaps with understanding tone . sighhhh
#^ not targeted at anyone this is me being annoyed at myself#i know im autistic but im usually really good at it#and tbh one of them was my own tone that /i/ interpreted as mean but the other person didnt at all 😭
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Friendship ended with google sheets, now filofax is my best friend
#i’ve been tying to come up with a system for verb conjugations#like recording all the verbs i’ve encountered in spanish and their conjugations. just in present tense for now and then i will learn#past and future and any other cases or tenses i may need#and i did buy a dedicated language journal (which i’m really enjoying using. it has habit trackers; lots of space for notetaking and doing#textbook exercises; sections for vocab lists and to write out/give examples of grammar rules; journal prompts for writing#in your target language etc) but it only has 48 verb conjugation tables#i have already encountered 77 different verbs in some form or another and recorded their infinitives so that i can table them#even if i’m just focusing on the present tense right now i do not have enough space and i don’t want to clutter up the rest of my note pages#with just conjugation tables#so i needed a system and at first i was going to do a spreadsheet but then i was like realistically i will spend WAY too long on the layout#and i don’t think i’ll actually use it that much because google sheets is so fucking awkward on my phone#i’d have to pull my whole laptop out just to look at this spreadsheet. it won’t be fun. it’ll seem too much like hard work#so i thought okay. what do i actually want from a verb conjugation system. some form of organisation for sure. colour coding#the ability to move stuff around if i want to#so i’m just using my filofax and various pens#it’s a personal size filofax so i can fit two verbs per page plus a couple of sample sentences using the verbs#i am SO much more likely to grab this and use it; especially if i keep it with my main language journal#and i can always add new pages. or if i run out of space i can take out verbs i’m confident with now and replace with verbs i’m trying#to learn. (i’m starting with just the most essential verbs. since that’s the ones i’m usually finding anyway in A1 content)#i’m really happy with this idea tbh. i don’t know if i already said that#personal
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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Dear horror youtubers who write video essays explaining and examining extraordinary works of horror that I deeply want to see and understand but will literally never be able to safely watch due to my own trauma - thus providing me with a way to learn from and connect to works of art that would be otherwise forever inaccessible to me,
I love you.
youtube
#original#horror#final girl studios#if this youtuber is on tumblr someone should tag her#LOVE the idea of a girl coming of age and becoming monstrous but now obsessed with how they described this movie as#'a girl coming of age and finding that the people AROUND her have become monsters to her'#fucking. brilliant! thank you for giving me a way to learn from and enjoy this movie! i am more sure than ever that i should not watch it!#but i am so grateful to you for giving me such a gift! how wonderful!#that said - folks please be very cognizant of the warnings at the beginning of the video. there were still parts I had to look away from#also it was cathartic experiencing this movie from this POV bc 'the horror of girlhood being validated' is healing tbh#it was HORRIFYING being a little girl who became a teenage girl! and no one seemed to care what girl-children went through!#I mean folks were dismissive of kids in general but teen girls and little girls are like. a Joke to a lot of people.#everything we liked was ridiculed. and our fears held similarly little weight to adults. and yet. The Horror of Girlhood is so Real.#I Can Only Imagine how much more girls of color were dismissed and targeted and dehumanized.#and then you've got the little Trans girls and teens - who were playing The Horror of Girlhood on like. Nightmare Hard Mode.#the specific horror of girlhood for me as a transmasc AFAB person meant that the existential horror of being seen as a girl#meshed with my gender dysphoria in a way I did not have the language for and would not for many years to come#like the internalized misogyny and the gender dysphoria were literally impossible to parse apart. i couldn't tell which was which.#i just knew i HATED being a girl and i wanted it to STOP. and it was mostly because of how people treated girls.#like it probably took me longer to figure out my gender because of that.
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i don't read enough loz fic to know what the popular fanon is so maybe this already exists but there should be a revali and zelda besties agenda i think it would be good for them
#loz#botw#zelda#revali#i will be posting tonight like the champions never died#anyway just decided this. I think they would've initially bonded over having the same issue with link#cause they both initially don't like him bc they both view him as having had his destiny handed to him basically#while they work and work and work and still feel that they aren't seen as good enough#and then I think the fact that revali is really abrasive would be appealing to zelda tbh#cause she's a princess and often very composed in most of the memories she's having to sort of suppress a lot of her emotions#like she obviously gets very loud and angry with link but I really don't think that's her normal behavior#I think she does that both cause obviously he's the person it's easiest to pin all her frustration on#but ALSO because he's the only one she really CAN yell at. the people she's frustrated at are her 1. her dad#2. herself. and 3. link. other people around her would seem generally blameless for The Situation#she can't yell at her dad there's only so much you can do about hating yourself and no one ever wants to acknowledge that you hate yourself#you'd rather just hate someone else. and link is the easiest target of the three#and then on top of that link is generally very unreactive which pisses her off to no end initially#BUT does make yelling at him a thing with no consequences#anyway that was long winded but what I'm saying is that zelda is a person surrounded by very composed people#who has to be very composed herself. link being the one exception. but she's so angry and sad all the time#and not often able to vent her frustrations#BUT revali is so abrasive and rude like I think if zelda was friends with him it would be a great bitch4bitch moment#and then on revali's end like I think zelda would be SO fascinated in the science behind his flying technique#and he'd fucking preen at that he'd love it he'd be like she hates that twink too AND she appreciates my skill. ideal bestie material#and he doesn't seem like a very spiritual person. bird. bird person. so while I definitely don't think he's THE ONLY person#telling zelda “hey you don't need to be doing this much praying your other contributions are good also”#it's still always good for zelda to have more people in her corner#and I do think he'd acknowledge the skill she has in other areas bc it's something she worked hard on I think he'd do that#realizing 90 percent of that was “why zelda needs revali as a bff” and not the other way around#always thinking of my girl exclusively it's true. never beating the zeldapilled allegations
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thought abt the secret mini games in P.S and went crazy again
#—— ✧ ooc »#.tbd.#like the constant theme of william targeting kids who need somebody is just. ugh.#especially if you're like me & think midn.ight motorist is a part of this#( i don't think any theory fits perfectly but tbh i think the af.ton family one is completely disproven by the ending )#( like when matp.at said 'you want me to solve MM? i don't think ANYBODY can solve MM' that was real fkjsdhfash )#william & susie mourning her dog & a kid trapped in an abusive home & charlie locked out of the pizzeria#like my william is so invested in the day-to-day of Being Spri.ng Bon.nie & building these seemingly genuine connections.#somebody the guests can go to & get supposed comfort from ( YES there's intentional irony in this regarding his own kids )#and it's a lot easier to manipulate somebody who needs something/somebody and believes they can trust him#and if their parents don't give shit about them then it's just that much easier#like. To Me. in my canon midn.ight mot.orist is like. he's made this kid feel like he's the one person they can go to#anyway rambling done i'm so sad over this rn#child murder tw#child death tw#murder tw
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Comments bullies made about me that I remembered from most to least hurtful (this was in elementary school so most of these are pretty tame now but like remember I was 6-7):
You're the size of an elf. This one would probably go lower on the list of I wasn't still short tbh. I am still only 5ft tall so yeah it's sensitive
You're so pale you look like a ghost. Don't really care about this as much as the height thing but it is still annoying because I burn easily (also using this to remind everyone to wear sunscreen regardless of skin tone. Skin cancer is deadly and anyone can get it.)
You're weird/crazy/insane etc. most common insult was some variation of this, or going into details about why I was this way. Least hurtful because when I was little my mom used weird as an affectionate term. I could tell they were trying to be mean so it still hurt but it also confused me about why they thought that it was a bad thing. I had been weird the whole time and up until the first grade nobody really cared, but now suddenly it was a bad thing and I didn't understand it. Last hurtful for the insult itself but most impactful because I thought about it the most because of the confusion. I was turning that one in my head for years. I still don't really get why people don't like it, but I'm used to it enough by now that I don't really care at this point.
Anyway two years later in the third grade I got diagnosed with autism and then 3 years after that I got an ADHD diagnosis. There were probably more things they said but most of them were either some variation of the above things or possibly some things I just forgot because I'm 24 now lol
#honestly though none of this would really hurt me that much today#mostly because I am both better at tuning things out and slightly better at standing up for myself if it gets out of hand#but like the ghost thing was kind of weird tbh#like yeah if course I'm pale I'm descended from Irish immigrants#like it's not that hard figure or that big of a deal tbh I don't know why they brought it up#except for the burn easily thing which is annoying but that's a personal problem so it didn't affect them#the short one was also strange looking back because it was the first grade we were all short even if I was the shortest#I guess bring small made me an even easier target or something IDK how a bullies brain works#I think there was also leprechaun jokes at some point but I'm gonna consider that one a variation of the first thing
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"let people make bad art!!!! bad art is so important and good and we need more of it!!!!'
*poll two posts later, reblogged by the same person*
which of these popular pieces of media would you remove from the face of the earth if given the chance?
[webcomic that got popular that some people decided was problematic]
[a show that a few people on the internet were annoying about ig]
[a piece of media that was maybe bad but no one actually knows bc the internet decided it was cringe so most never watched it]
[homestuck]
[indie video game i've never heard of but had drama or something]
#i just find this phenomenon fascinating#i've seen it happen with a few people i follow and like. it's this wider attitude that i'll admit i've also fallen into#but gods#we gotta stop#if you're gonna say 'make bad art' you can't turn around and be vicious about art you don't like personally#people being mean about art is why no one feels like they can make bad art#the fact that these things are almost always small indie and/or queer creators too is so..... huh#i know hollywood is faceless to these people so they feel like they can't target it the same but cmon yall#also some of these are specific but tbh most slots can be filled with any number of things and i've seen people do this#obvsly i have to include homestuck bc homestuck is always there#and i have. Thoughts on that#but that's not really the point#words.exe
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