#this is such a rambly way of saying I want to discuss a topic lmao

[juniperhillpatient]

also. I am clearly in taylor swift mode right now & this week is going to be very much about finishing atla scream au while never getting a second off work ever in my life BUT I decided rather than write a Letterboxd review for American Mary I am going to write an essay I’ve been wanting to write for a very long time that the movie inspired me to really want to discuss this topic. I liked some parts & have criticisms of other parts & it plays into my feelings on horror & women in general.

I’d really like to in depth discuss feminism & misogyny in horror & slashers particularly through the years & how it’s changed for the better & worse & what I think about the sensationalizing & sexualizing of violence against women in media & how it plays into revenge films like this.

I think I’m truly the right person to do an essay on this topic because my thoughts are far more complicated than “movies with forbidden topics are evil & we should bring back the hayes code” or “if you ever imply media has real life impact or that certain types of media should be critiqued for having a harmful cultural impact I’m gonna call you a stupid sjw” & I’m sorry but most online arguments seem to boil down to these very over-simplified black & white viewpoints.

I really do have a lot of views on this topic as a woman who was a victim of assault as a teenager (I’m fine now I don’t care about sharing this except when people get weird about it so… don’t do that. It’s something I went through, it impacts my views. I’m a happy healthy adult with a great life now) AND a passionate horror fan & a huge advocate for anti-censorship who LOVES the violent & depraved.

So idk this post has no point except to say I think I’m gonna write this essay after atla Scream Au is written & really go in depth with sources & examples & exploration of different viewpoints on glorification & portrayal of dark topics. Just to let anyone who cares about this topic know idk lol

[slytherinshua]

HYOJIN HEADCANONS

genre. fluff. headcanons. warnings. lots of food talk cause hyojin loves food. best friends to lovers and they do get married so yeah </3. pairing. hyojin x fem!reader. wc. 2k. request. no. a/n. this was supposed to just be like military husband hyojin headcanons cause i was watching all of his military performances and falling in love with him all over again but i ended up doing a whole bunch of headcanons for him and i'm not sorry abt it lmao 😭 and esp written for @wheeboo the self proclaimed wife of hyojin 🧐

best friend!hyojin who instantly becomes so close with you because of your shared interests. he loves to geek over food and video games and singing and space with you and he could never imagine he'd meet someone who loved all the same things as he did. you two get sucked into long discussions that last 2 hours, and then 4 hours, and then 6 hours, because neither of you wants to end it early. despite his busy schedule as a trainee, he always finds time to text you during breaks, and you're his biggest supporter until he finally can debut.

best friend!hyojin who never noticed just how beautiful you were until a couple months into your friendship where he finds himself spacing out just staring at you. he loves the way the light shines on your skin, warming it into the prettiest shade ever. he loves how your eyes sparkle in delight whenever he suggests you both get something to eat-- a habit you both share for your love of food. he loves how immersed you get in conversation, completely unable to stop talking once you've started conversing about one of your obsessions. not that he would ever want you to stop.

best friend!hyojin who is obsessed with your voice. whether it's when you're explaining something so animatedly, or the little sounds of delight you make when eating something delicious, or how sincere you sound whenever you are faced with a heavy topic. he loves how you can be lighthearted and fun when it's allowed, but also serious and mature when needed. and he loves that you're not too serious, but a perfect balance between both, always matching his energy and love for laughter and teasing.

best friend!hyojin who the members tease relentlessly because of how often he talks about you. they all (especially seungjun) are convinced that he has a crush on you and will never let him hear the end of it. hyojin himself doesn't deny the fact, but he can't bring himself to verbally say it out loud, whether to his bandmates or to you. he doesn't want to ruin what you two already have, regardless of the way his feelings for you keep growing every day.

best friend!hyojin who's mind practically shuts down when you mumble out how much you've loved him for months while drunk. he had been trying to get you to bed safely, all while listening to your intoxicated rambling about different topics. you switched from aliens to barbecue to how much you hated your college classes to your feelings. hyojin has no idea what he's supposed to do with how fast his heart is pounding, or how he'll ever face the consequences of the conversation in the morning when your head is clear.

best friend!hyojin who brings up the topic carefully and a bit timidly, absolutely terrified that whatever you said after 3 rounds of drinks was entirely the opposite of how you felt sober. when you bashfully confess that yes you had meant everything you said when drunk, hyojin can barely process the information.

boyfriend!hyojin who asks you to be his girlfriend after taking you out to get your favourite food because he knows that's the only way he'd ever want someone to ask to date him. he smiles so fondly at you when you accept his offer, excitement and a little impatience for what the future will hold, but he's not scared of a thing because he knows he has someone who he loves wholeheartedly by his side now.

boyfriend!hyojin who's love language continues to be similar as when he was just your best friend. he loves long conversations and hours playing video games or trying new foods together. when you're both painfully full from delicious food, you'll curl up together and watch him play mario kart; something that yuto had especially gotten him interested in recently. hyojin complains whenever you distract him with a cheek kiss and make him crash, but he secretly loves how much you love to distract him.

boyfriend!hyojin who invites you to the recording studio with him to watch as he records an album. after every take, he always asks for your opinion, even though in your mind every single time he sings anything it sounds like the most angelic thing you've ever heard. you could absolutely never get tired of hearing his heavenly vocals, and he has to get used to you asking him to sing for you almost every day. he doesn't mind, though; he could never mind when it's you asking for something. unless you're asking for his food-- that's where he has to draw the line. even if you are his girlfriend.

boyfriend!hyojin who always has to hear your daily concerns about his scalp health. after the third time he had sported bright red hair, you had started to get worried about him permanently damaging his scalp. and while you still love the look on him, you're quick to research helpful hair products for him to use. on days when he's absolutely too tired from practice to do almost anything, you always offer to wash his hair for him, giving him a head massage which turns into a neck massage which turns into a full back massage all because his body is so sore and worn out and you hate to see him in any type of pain.

boyfriend!hyojin who always plans dates even when his schedule is a bit more packed than usual. you're not sure how he's able to balance everything all at once, but he does it seamlessly, and it becomes one of the many many things you adore about him. he always does his best to text you every day, just to see how you're doing. even when he comes back home so late that you're already asleep, and leaves early before you're awake, he'll leave sticky notes around the room for you to find when you wake up or a good morning text reminding you that he loves you.

boyfriend!hyojin who has been keeping a ring that he had bought months ago hidden in his bedside table drawer, pondering over when the right time to give it to you was. he's confident that you'll say yes, but he wants to try to make the moment as romantic as possible, just to show you how much you mean to him. he asks seungjun (who self-proclaimed he was an expert at love despite being single) how he should go about it, and starts to plan out the whole proposal a few weeks in advance.

fiancé!hyojin who's new obsession is calling you his wife even though you've barely started planning for the wedding. every time he sees the ring on your finger, he feels so thankful to have met you and be able to call you his, and although he was already romantic as your boyfriend, he becomes even more so as your fiancé.

fiancé!hyojin who helps plan the wedding with you, wanting to be involved in every aspect of it but still allowing you to choose almost everything from the venue to the flowers to the decor. he gives his opinions on wedding dresses before sending you off with your bridal party to pick one without him knowing. he's determined that he will not see you in a white dress until you're walking down the aisle towards him-- a moment he's dreamed of since he first became your boyfriend.

fiancé!hyojin who can't contain the amount of love he has for you when he sees you walking down the aisle. the dress is gorgeous, but it's nothing compared to your beauty and he tears up watching you with the biggest smile on his face. he holds your hand so preciously throughout the ceremony, his eyes never leaving yours. he thinks he's never been so in love with you before this moment, and he's certain that his love for you will only grow after he can call himself your husband.

fiancé!hyojin who's vows are filled with all sorts of lighthearted stories and moments from since you were friends until now, as well as bittersweet retellings of the times when you've meant the most to him. the way he reads them to you-- laughing at all the absurd moments you've had together; how you confessed to him while drunk; his constant nagging paired with your constant worrying being a combination for unlimited headaches-- has you falling in love with him all over again. you relish in his cute giggles filled with so much love for you, but you also cry at how sincere and genuine his words sound, knowing that he spent weeks writing and rewriting what he wanted to say to you on the day.

fiancé!hyojin who cries just as hard as you did hearing your vows. he regrets having the ceremony so long because all he wants to do is slide another ring your finger and adorn one of his own and be able to kiss you and call you his wife, but he has to wait until after the vows to be able to do it. when he is finally able to slip the ring on your finger, his eyes hold so much affection for you that it's almost dizzying, and you're unable to contain your smiles as you get closer to finally being pronounced husband and wife.

husband!hyojin who kisses you like he's never kissed you before when the officiant finally gives him the go, holding your waist so carefully and dipping you elegantly down just enough to get the perfect wedding kiss photos. he hears the camera shutters click, capturing the moments, and he smiles, knowing he'll be able to look back on your first kiss as husband and wife however often he wants.

husband!hyojin who sings all your favourite songs to you during the reception. he has a setlist planned, but also takes requests from you, putting on his best performance for his beloved wife, unable to take his eyes off of you watching him in your pretty dress.

husband!hyojin who cherishes you every day, especially leading up to his military enlistment, knowing he'll be forced apart from you for the longest time since you had met. he loathes the day he'll have to say goodbye to you, but he's determined to do his best and get back to you as soon as he can. on the day of enlistment, he hugs you tighter than usual, and kisses you with as much passion as he possibly has in his body, before smiling and waving goodbye to you as if the whole ordeal was just another normal day.

military husband!hyojin who texts you whenever he's allowed to use his phone, and calls whenever you're available to. he wishes he could be with you more than anything, but he's excited to be able to see you during his musical performances that are quickly approaching.

military husband!hyojin who knows you'll be in the audience to see him in the musical, and so his eyes search for you as soon as he's up on stage. he smiles so big when he sees you in the front row watching him, and his eyes never leave you throughout the entire time he's performing. you soak up the sound of his lovely voice which you hadn't heard in person for months.

military husband!hyojin who when he's finally discharged can barely keep his hands off of you. he was never the clingy type, but the lengthy separation has him kissing you whenever he gets the chance, and holding your hand whenever he can't. you treat him to his favourite meal as a post military celebration, and you've never seen him so happy since your wedding day.

husband!hyojin who works twice as hard at everything he does after his enlistment, knowing that there's nothing more that can separate him from you. he lives every day in a reality that had only felt like a distant dream when he was in the military; waking up every morning with you by his side, and falling asleep every night with you safely in his arms. he's thankful every day for how lucky he got with you, and he makes sure he knows how much you mean to him. but in the end, he's still your precious, nerdy, lovable best friend who you met as a teenager, dated, and was lucky enough to marry and call your husband.

↳ onf taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @seunghancore,,

@haecien

[purplebass]

Do you think in the the next book we will get a discussion about children between Kell and Lila like it’s obviously one every couple would eventually have. I find that so interesting that Kell doesn’t have that family and has felt a certain way all his life to not have some thoughts about it but obviously he knows Lila as well and I don’t think he would bring it up and kind of settled with the idea. Like I can only imagine it’s going to have to be Lila. Like with the rings it became a fight and then they never talked about it again and you can really see that their communication between their relationship is something that Kell wants because it’s not a question if she loves him but him wanting to hear it.

I wish we had been given a scene with Kell and Ren through Kell’s pov. I feel like that’s a question many people would have in their world and would be curious and what happens when two Antari have a baby.

And do you think we will ever get a non-fade to black scene between Kell and Lila?

I really want a discussion about family between Kell and Lila, because it could reveal so much about their relationship about their own biological family as well as facing their unresolved trauma. I don't think we've seen the last of their parents, who are most likely still alive -aside from Lila's mom- and some of their backstory. Kell still hasn't remembered his past and he might do that in the future.

There is a long rambling about Kellila babies under the cut but I just can't help myself when I have to talk about them. I just love them sfm lmao

The topic of children is potentially triggering for them, because they never had proper familial relationships, but it could be a way to face that trauma because for now it is buried in the past. Being touched by the children topic could awake that past and would force them to deal with it. I think that Kell knows Lila doesn't like children. In a way, her stance might be known to him because she might've said it in front of him, so he might've never asked her directly. It's like with the rings. He gave her the ring, she lied that she didn't want it, and he stopped talking about it but... he kept on wearing it to spite her.

Maybe this could happen with children talk. We see how Lila often lies and everything she says must not be taken at face value. Not liking children may be a lie she tells to avoid the topic and to protect herself: "I say that I don't like children so you won't ask me". It's a defense mechanism. Because I'm sure she thought about it and I'm sure, after seeing Kell with Ren, she imagined how he would be with their hypothetical child and it scares her to think about "settling down" and stay put, but it could happen to her at some point. Moreover, giving Kell's protective and parental nature, he's the perfect character to be a dad.

I also wish we had the scene with Ren from his pov! Because Ren has an egg, and when Hastra was alive, I think he secured an egg. Kell might think that's the same egg although I think that egg might've opened and inside there was one of Ren's numerous animals. See, waiting for the egg to open could also be a baby metaphor... and it's clever. XD I believe that if Kellila have a child, they would name him after someone they lost in the first trilogy. Lila called the ship Grey Barron in honor of Barron, so I don't believe she'd use this name. If they have a girl, she might either use her mother's name or choose Calla as a name. It is a nice name and it's also the name of a flower (linked to purity, femininity and maternity) and it would connect with the idea of Red London having a flowery scent and with Lila calling Kell "flower boy" after they first met. ;) If it's a boy, I believe they'd use the name Hastra. Without the H in the front, it means "star," which is a pretty name.

Okay... sorry for the digression lmao

There's this scene in Threads where Alucard (who, like her, used to be a character with similar fears) talks to Lila and he tells her that he finally found something "worth staying put", and I believe he alludes to the fact that he knows that Kell is that something worth staying put for Lila, but perhaps Lila is not ready to settle down yet.

She thinks about Kell as her chosen family so she already sees them as a family, which shows her disposition to wanting to create something with him. She might just want him (because two people don't need children to be happy) but well, we are under the sun and the story is set in an age where it was easier to get pregnant if one wasn't careful, so it may happen to them. It will depend on what Victoria has in mind with them. It would fit their dynamic and would force Lila to change in a way. And to test theory: can two Antari have an Antari baby? Because we still don't know if it's possible. We still don't even know how Antari are created.

If we analyze how Lila evolves through the series, we can see that it's external events that seem to drive her change of behavior toward the external world and the people she interacts with. She's a character who moves toward the outside and she's practical, so it's no wonder what happens in the external world drives also the change in her internal world (while for Kell is the opposite!). For example, we see how she wears the ring after Kell is comatose at the end of Threads. This is an emotional (internal world) moment for Lila, and she blows off the frustration of dealing with her feelings (which is something difficult to her) by threatening Tes, basically, who is in the external world. She's not really angry at Tes. That feels like desperation masked as anger, which is a reaction Lila often has both when Kell is concerned and when he talks to her about things that make her uncomfortable that have an impact inside (Kell giving her the ring meant settling down with/to her) and outside (this has consequences irl and on herself).

Last but not least because I rambled a lot lmao do I think we will ever see a Kellila scene that doesn't fade to black? I would really love that, but somehow, I think we never got proper not fade to black scenes because that's Kellila's aesthetic. There is so much in the unsaid, or in the what happens when it fades to black. Bc they are a private couple in comparison to Rhylucard, who are more open (in fact we had some non fade to black scenes with them). I think their scenes are written this way to make a contrast with each other public (Rhylucard) and private (Kellila). But I haven't lost hope and I'll be waiting for a non fade to black moment lol

[damianbugs]

i know you love the dynamics between bruce and his kids as they are, but alot of it is also due to iffy writing lmao.

in your IDEAL scenario, what would bruce parenting look like? would he still be as abusive as he is in canon? CAN he even change?

the short answer to "can bruce change?" is... no 😭 but let me try and explain!

its not because of who bruce is as a character or batman as a hero, but because it is basically impossible for a popular character like him to have any consistent writing. we've seen it before where he's a great father and mentor for a few issues, and then less than six months later he does something horrific and takes ten steps back in that regard.

it's why this conversation (to me) is a very complicated one, because i can't for sure say who bruce is as a person without taking into consideration the literal decades of almost hundreds of different writers, runs and universes. of course, he has made some terrible and very harmful decisions, but again, so much context is required to truly comprehend those situations. that doesn't remove the fact that he has hurt his children, both accidentally and purposefully.

do i think bruce is a bad dad in canon? no. do i think he is a good dad? also no. depending on where in time you're reading him, who's writing him etc — he acts like completely different people. my head spins trying to come up with a simple answer to this otherwise simple question.

a good example i think is the current zdarsky batman run. arguably some of the best bruce wayne as a father introspection we've had in a LONG TIME, the story doing well to remove the 'child soldiers' narrative that frank miller infamously popularised to main continuity despite it not being from the canon timeline. but who's to say this sort of perspective will last before being completely disregarded by the next writer?

it's no secret i pick and choose what i (personally) view as canon, my own personal bias against Certain writers making me ignore their writing entirely, but i am also not ignorant to the fact that bruce can and desperately NEEDS to improve as a parent.

sorry for rambling but back to your original question about what my ideal parent bruce would like and to that it's two very simple words; honest and communicative.

that's really all he needs to do. almost all his shitty decisions can be linked back to him lying or purposely evading the truth and just refusing to communicate to his children, which in turn makes them not want to communicate with him. this then leads to much larger problems and much more devastating outcomes.

bruce needs to realise that his children don't owe him anything more than the very little he's given them emotionally. this whole "soldier-team" mentality that he adopts when he's batman filters into his dynamics with them as family and as bruce wayne, and that is why he keeps hurting them and not taking responsibility for it.

they should not be vigilantes before they are his children. but to do that, writers also need to make the distinction that batman is also bruce wayne, but that is an entirely different conversation.

again, current batman writing (mark waid batman vs robin, zdarsky batman, ram v detective comics, tom taylor batman etc) seems very promising in giving bruce a chance to be a better father, so we can only hope it continues this way. maybe, we'll even get bruce actually holding himself accountable one day.

i try not to discuss this topic too much because in my experience it's far too nuanced to explain in short text posts on the internet but i hope this answered your questions <3

[vasyandii]

Hello there! ✨

For the ask game below:

16 & 20

Howdy :D!! I'll try to answer these the best that I can!!

16.)How do they hype each other up?

((Turns into an Unskippable cutscene)) I actually don't know what counts as hype so I'm assuming it's like what they do to make the other feel better or boost their ego.

Krueger:

-If she gets a particularly good shot on a target he's like "That's my girl." No change in tone, but she can tell he's proud of her.

-He texts her when he's off doing solo missions, Alot of "miss yous" and general reports about his day, Since he's a fairly quiet guy I believe it's easier for him to just type out stuff

-If she's having a bad day he would just kind of Lay next to her on the living room carpet, not really cuddling or touching but like just physically being there for her

-Pet names (like Babychen, babe, baby, Täubchen, Phay). Nak says she hates them and finds them corny but she loves them, makes her feel cute and wanted lmao

Nak:

-On the battlefield if Krueger gets an exceptional kill, she gets SO excited and it hypes him tf up. She gets loud, not really praising him more like a "Thats how it should be done!". Krueger is confident in his skills so he appreciates someone pointing it out. Nak is pretty critical of how other operators take out enemies (been killing people since she was in her early teens bc of Naga so it's trauma related teehee) so Krueger's approach is something she approves of.

-Laughing at his jokes is considered as hype right?? It boosts his ego and makes him believe he's like the funniest person ever; to Nak he actually is soooo...

-Nak offers to take care of him when he's having a bad day; being on missions is hard, exhausting work for both of them. She would make him dinner, wash his hair, shower with him, etc.

-Holding his hand, or just giving him lingering touches. Like a hand on his shoulder or tugging on the end of his shirt when they're walking somewhere van be really ego boosting and reassuring!

20.) Who infodumps and who listens with heart eyes?

Both of them are such dorks who are too smart for their own good and still want to learn more. Like they would take turns infodumping- Nak usually listens to what Krueger's interests are when he feelings like talking about them (Growing up with Naga meant she didn't really get to form interests normally). Krueger would try to give some examples and involve her in discussion about these topics ( Battle tactics to Music).

If you made it this far thank you so much for reading my brainrot >:D! Sometimes the questions are worded in a way I don't understand so it makes me ramble ;0;)

[cookinguptales]

travel rambling!! under the cut!! because I do intend to ramble!! a lot!!

like if you thought that wwdits was a hyperfixation of mine, you've never heard me talk about some of the religious traditions I've studied. lmao

SO first of all, religious syncretism is when elements of two or more religions/traditions are incorporated into religious practice. A crossover episode, if you will, and I am obsessed with it. When I was in college studying religions and folklore, it quickly became a driving force in my intellectual curiosity.

I've always been really interested in how people pick and choose from different traditions to create their own personal belief systems, and syncretic religions can be this on a micro or macro level. We could be talking about something as individualized as a self-identified pagan assembling a collection of beliefs and rituals from various world mythologies and written/online sources, or we could be talking about something as established as Louisiana Voodoo, which is a syncretic religion with strong influences from Roman Catholicism, various West African religions, and Haitian Vodou.

Syncretic religions form in a lot of ways... immigration, colonialism, natural spread of tradition, purposeful assemblage of disparate ideas, etc. Sometimes there's a history of blood, sometimes a history of love, sometimes a little bit of both. And man, I feel like there's just something so human about it.

The thing I love best about stories is the way they grow and change within us. When you hear a story, you resonate with certain parts of it. You remember some parts best. And when you retell that story, you can't help but imbue it with a little bit of your own self. The parts you loved and the parts you hated and the parts you want to emphasize or deemphasize or embellish. You can't hear a story without taking it into yourself, and you can't tell one without making it your own -- even if you retell it word for word.

And I guess religious syncretism is the final form of that, a little bit? Taking ingredients from every part of your life, real and imagined and studied and genetic, and mixing them together into the precise stew that nourishes you best, either on an individualized or communal level.

I digress.

I started out with Egyptology in school, abandoned that for several reasons, and realized what I really loved learning about was religion, especially on a practical and/or vernacular level. (i.e. what people actually do rather than the ur version of whatever philosophy we're talking about.) Then Some Stuff Happened and I added on East Asian Languages and Civilizations and really started leaning into learning about Japanese folklore and religions, especially once I started studying in Kyoto.

When I was studying in Japan, I really wanted to learn a lot about Shinto. The concepts behind it had been kind of ill-defined for me, and I wanted to really nail down what people were even talking about when they talked about Shinto. But... to my surprise, even the Japanese people I talked to were really vague on the subject. Which made sense, I guess, as I learned more about it.

I was really, really lucky, actually, because a professor who knew quite a lot about Shinto came to teach at my (American) school shortly before I graduated. It's not easy to find good classes on that subject in the US, especially outside of the west coast and Hawaii. But we had a whole symposium where experts from all over the world came and discussed various research projects on the subject and I was So Happy. lmao

I'm not... gonna get too into Shinto right now. My final assignment for that class, IIRC, was to write a 15 (20?) page paper on the topic "what is Shinto?" so that... might give you an idea of how complicated the question is. lmao.

Suffice it to say, for now, that Shinto is a name that we've retroactively applied to a series of disparate practices and belief systems in what would eventually become Japan. So... in that respect, it's an indigenous religion of Japan, or at least a modern understanding of many of them.

(People think of Japan as one cohesive country because it is now, but maybe think of that period as being more like Ancient Greece? Lots of small little villages and towns (think city-states) that were separated by topographical features and therefore had their own cultures before they were unified into the country we know of as Japan much later.)

Shinto, as a modern concept... ugh, it's still super complicated. There are deities or spirits called kami, and there are several big, important ones like Amaterasu and Susanoo, but also there's just this thought that almost everything can contain a kami because everything has a spirit. (It's animism, baby.) So there is a spirit of that big boulder, a spirit of that mountain, a spirit of that tree, and they're all kami. There are literally thousands of kinds of kami, and they're everywhere at all times. People can become kami after they die, man-made objects can become kami. (Sort of Velveteen Rabbit style.) And in Shinto shrines, these kami are enshrined and venerated and kept happy. Like any deity, they can help or they can hurt, y'know?

There's... a lot more to it than that, some of it extremely political, but that's the essence of it, I think. Kami veneration. (What that entails is... debatable, too! haha)

God, and that was my short version. That's not even what I wanted to talk about.

All that is to say that that's what I was trying to study my first time in Japan. The second time I was in Japan (a few years ago) I heard about Shugendo, which is a highly syncretic mountain-based religion in Japan that has dwindled quite a bit over the years, but not entirely.

Shugendo, to my understanding, is a syncretic religious tradition comprised of elements from Shinto, Buddhism (especially Esoteric Buddhism), and local traditions about local deities. It's extremely mountain-centric, and most important places in Shugendo are on top of mountains. (Which... make them very difficult for my disabled ass to get to.)

The point, though, is the climb. It's a highly ascetic tradition, so practitioners, or yamabushi, would often push themselves to their physical and mental limits. They'd live out in the wilderness, often alone for long periods of time, and make do with what they found out there. One of the places we're going has a very distinct food tradition just because it's largely born out of the increasingly creative scavenging yamabushi would do while out on the mountain. They figured out how to eat a lot of things that most people would not eat. lmao

The important part here, though, is near-constant meditation and going to a sacred place (the mountain) and becoming one with that sacrality. It's trying to find enlightenment through nature and the divine. It feels similar to the Romantic concept of the sublime to me, y'know? And there's stuff about gaining superhuman spiritual powers through all this, too, though I don't know as much about that. (YET.)

One of the reasons why it's kind of hard to learn about is that there are very few practitioners these days. This is partially due to a generally dwindling number of people who identify as religious in Japan, partially because there were never that many practitioners to start with, and partially because... it was illegal for a while! (More on that later.)

Man, though, I wanna learn about it.

Shugendo has kind of become my white whale over the last few years, and there's a lot more information now on the internet than there was when I first started learning about it, but it's still often frustratingly vague!

This time, though, my dad was like "well, we're going to be there for quite a while and you already showed me most of the important tourist spots last time, so is there anywhere off the beaten path you really want to go?"

Now. This was a very brave thing to say to me, considering some of the weird-ass places I dragged him to last time. This man turned and looked me in the eye, the same woman who made him go to the moss temple and the cricket temple in the same goddamn day that we wandered through the bamboo forest in Arashiyama at night after I cheerfully told him that the shrine there was most famous for a ghost story. He said it was one of the creepiest experiences of his life!

haha. memories.

anyway. He looked me in the eye and asked me if there was anywhere unusual I wanted to go. And I slapped open a map of Wakayama and was like I WANNA DO THE KUMANO KODO.

Now... I was not going to hike the entirety of an ancient pilgrimage route. Like I said before, my dumb (but highly excitable) ass is disabled. I cannot physically do that. But I wanted to see the main shrines and temples on the route (shrines=Shinto, temples=Buddhist!) and hike a very small portion of the 1000-year-old route, some of which STILL EXISTS AS A ROAD. *_*

And I wanted to go because... Shugendo!!!! The Kumano Kodo is a popular pilgrimage route for yamabushi!!! That whole Kumano region is sacred for practitioners of Shugendo, and I was like! Heck yeah! I can learn a thing!

But... Dad got injured. ;; And I'm used to pain, but he is not. So I'm not going to make the poor man hike. I want him to heal and get better and not strain his torn abdomen too much.

So I kind of abandoned that idea.

(Side note: I was asking Dad what he thought his physical limits were going to be so I didn't overplan and he was like "well, you can't do that much either, so I don't think we'll do too much" and I was like "what do you mean?" And he said "well, there's nothing that'll hurt me that won't hurt you, too, and you're not going to want to hurt yourself to see things." and I was like "hmm" and I realized that my father does not really understand my existence at all. lmao)

Then I was thinking, though, and I remembered reading about sokushinbutsu awhile ago. I wasn't actually thinking about going to see them initially; Dad and I were just driving up the coast and it's a long drive so I was cheerfully rambling. So I was explaining the basic concept to him and I was like "yes, and I heard that one of the temples is so sacred that you have to go barefoot throughout the grounds, even in winter" and I googled where it was, exactly, because I couldn't remember and

YAMAGATA.

I looked at it and I thought about the Dewa Sanzan and I googled how much climbing those mountains actually require and then I was like

hey dad wanna go to some extremely sacred mountains in northern Japan? they let you drive to the shrines.

And he was like "...why those mountains specifically?"

And then I had to tell him about Shugendo, because yessss that's another very important place for it. I'd always sort of associated the idea of sokushinbutsu with Shingon (esoteric) Buddhism and Kukai, the founder of which, because I knew that it was said that he still rests at Koyasan in eternal meditation.

(YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO KOYASAN TOO! *HIGH KICK*)

But! It turns out that it's actually more of a Shugendo tradition, especially in the Yamagata region, though legend does go that Kukai brought the concept to Japan.

So... what is sokushinbutsu?

(CONTENT WARNING uhhh corpses, religious self-harm, starvation, general morbidity, if you google this know that there WILL be pictures.)

Sokushinbutsu are often referred to as living Buddhas or living mummies. The long and short of it is that highly ascetic monks would be mummified, and they would start this process while they were still alive. It's... a pretty difficult process to read about, so I won't go into a ton of detail here, but if you google "sokushinbutsu" you can find way more information.

I will say that it involves slowly reducing food and water intake and increasing the intake of... well, poison, honestly. Both tea made from the Japanese lacquer tree, which has the side effect of sort of lacquering the organs, and local spring water -- which in the case of Yamagata, involves pretty large amounts of arsenic. People all over Japan attempted this process, but by far the highest number of known successful cases are in Yamagata. This is partially because of the popularity of Shugendo there, and partially, people think, because their water had such a high amount of arsenic, which when combined with the loss of adipose tissue and hydration, as well as the lacquer, sort of mummified the organs while the person was still alive.

This process would eventually kill the practitioner, but... I mean, it takes about a decade. This is not something undertaken on a whim. It is an absolutely grueling practice that is considered incredibly sacred. It's a way to ascend past your mortal body and achieve enlightenment, but only for the most devout and devoted practitioners.

(There's a whole lot about ascending past mortal bodies in Buddhism, but I think that and corpse meditation are a different discussion.)

I say that the practitioner "dies", but... I mean, in a scientific sense, yes. These people would die. Shortly before death, they would be placed in a pit underground and essentially buried alive with only a bamboo tube to allow air and sound in and out. They would be given a bell and would periodically ring it to let others know they were still alive. When they stopped ringing the bell, the tube would be removed. They'd come back and check on the body in a few years, and if it had decayed, it was considered a failed attempt and reburied. If it had mummified, it was considered a successful sokushinbutsu and taken out so it could be displayed for veneration.

This is the important part, though. If the process was successful, these are not considered dead bodies. This is a person who achieved Buddhahood while still alive, and they are considered to be in a sort of eternal repose. You go to them to pray and meditate, and often amulets are made from their robes (which are changed every 6-12 years) so people who come to pray can take some of their power home with them.

So... I want to go to learn about Shugendo, but I knew that seeing the sokushinbutsu would be a selling point for Dad... You just have to know how to sell things, I guess.

(You might know from my other posts that I have extremely mixed feelings when it comes to the display of human remains in museums, but I genuinely can't think of a more vociferous consent than the act of sokushinbutsu. Going to see them feels like honoring their wishes, and I do feel that some of them are very beautiful, in a way. So I am looking forward to the experience, though I'll admit to feeling a little trepidation.)

So we will be visiting the Dewa Sanzan, Hagurosan, Gassan, and Yudonosan!

(-san means the same as Mt. in Japanese! so Fujisan is Mt. Fuji. I usually still use -san with mountains out of habit, and Gassan is... incredibly hard to pronounce without doing that, to the point where it is often translated as "Mt. Gassan." lmao. Japanese double consonants are fun.)

The part of this I am most excited about is... Hagurosan has a museum about Shugendo! IN ENGLISH. I cry!!! Apparently one of the yamabushi currently living on Hagurosan is a westerner! Who really wants to teach other westerners about Shugendo! So the Dewa Sanzan website is excellent and I'm so fucking excited to go there and learn.

(They also had yamabushi training programs if you want hands-on knowledge but again. My disabled ass cannot clamber up and down a mountain, unfortunately. ;;)

Yamagata's a large prefecture, though, so the plan is to drive around a bit. We'll be driving between the mountains (but not up Gassan because it'll be too snowy that time of year and I think that one might be hiking-only access...?) and seeing a bunch of shrines and temples. We're also going to spend a night at Hijiori Onsen, a hot spring town in the caldera of an ancient volcano, and a night at *drum roll* a shukubo!

This is Dad indulging me again. Shukubo is a type of shrine or temple lodging. (Usually temple. But this one is a shrine! For reasons I'll get into in a minute!) Essentially, you stay overnight in a religious lodging. You might be invited to attend morning prayers with the monks, specific rituals (Koyasan's are famous for the goma fire rituals), sutra-copying, guided meditation, etc. Traditionally speaking, these were usually stayed at by religious pilgrims, and some were reserved solely for monks, priests, yamabushi, etc. These days anyone can stay at them!

We'll be staying in two during our trip! One at Koyasan, which I hear has tragically become a bit uhhh influencer-y, and this one at Hagurosan.

Now. Why is this a shrine, even though the building was clearly designed to be a temple? Why was Shugendo illegal for a while? Well... I won't get into all the details, but suffice it to say that during different points during Japan's history, either Buddhism or Shinto have been prioritized by the government, and during those periods, the other tended to suffer.

When Buddhism first arrived in Japan in the sixth century CE, it was introduced from China and Korea and had... some settling to do, I guess? Shinto was largely what was accepted in Japan at the time, and people kind of struggled to reconcile the two concepts with each other. Enter the concept of honji suijaku, which is where this baby gets really syncretic.

It's... complicated, like most of this is, but the basic idea is that kami came to be seen as manifestations, or alternate forms, of Buddhist deities. (Buddhas, bodhisattvas, etc.) The Buddhist deity was appearing in the form of kami to better help people in Japan. So the kami and the Buddhist deities were one and the same, just in different guises. These syncretic deities were called "gongen" in Shugendo, which has elements of both religions in it, and were highly venerated.

But... when politics changed and Shinto was again elevated, there was a forcible separation between Buddhist and Shinto spaces. Like... as in an often violent, state-enforced separation. Shugendo, as a syncretic religion of both, was outlawed. At Dewa Sanzan, most Shugendo and/or Buddhist temples converted to Shinto, and they remain that way to this day. (And RIP to many of the Buddhist statues in the area, which have been sadly beheaded.)

So! There are a lot of buildings around there that are clearly Buddhist in origin but have nevertheless become Shinto. The shukubo we're staying at is one of these.

We're gonna see so many temples! So many shrines! We're gonna go to an onsen! We're gonna learn! Some stuff! See! Some things! Some of which are too sacred to even talk about because it's forbidden!

I am excited.

This is only like three days out of a much longer trip but I am like

every time I think about it.

(Okay, I'm actually a little worried about the shrine I'll have to go barefoot for because it's going to be cold as shit and my joints are... bad. But I can manage!)

okay now this is the longest post on earth so I'm gonna stop here, but we're gonna do SO MUCH and we're gonna see SO MUCH and we're gonna learn SO MUCH and my nerdy little heart is on FIRE.

[distortedmoondisc]

hiiai for the ask game thing 🥺👉👈

Hi!! Thank you so much for asking for my otp vi 🥹💖💖💖

So! I hope I don't get too rambly with it ahdhfj

1. What made you ship it?: oh boy, the first and second chapters of the !! Main Story made me become so obsessed with them it wasn't even normal. I went into ensemble stars without any idea or notion about the franchise or the writing beforehand and I was absolutely confused with the way the characters talked to each other (the enstars writing is definitely an acquired taste imo lmao). So you must imagine how insane I felt when I, who wasn't used to male characters having such blatant, shameless and obviously deliberately flirty/romantic/shippy intended dialogue with each other such as.... This:

This was!!!! On their first meeting!!! They have known each other for less than 5 minutes and Aira has already fondled Hiiro's bicep!!!! Are these two normal??? (If you've been into enstars long enough you'll know that the answer is !!! No !!!)

And what's funnier is that after Aira does the (rub, rub), the next dialogue is literally this:

so like.... Akira (writer of all of the !! Main story) here had to force a switch on the conversation so these two could focus again on the topic they were discussing before (about whether or not they're underachievers and about Ensemble Square) from that fondling muscles scene. This means Akira didn't have any need to write that scene between these two, it wasn't necessary for the plot. The madlad just added that scene in there out of nowhere. Just for the funsies. For a silly little laugh. Because there's nothing more fun than making your OCs flirt with each other this shamelessly in your own story. He really gets the assignment.

Listing a few honorable mentions for hiiai interactions from the first and second episodes of the !! MS that made me imprint on them so hard that they became my biggest otp since july of last year and has taken hold of my heart ever since 🫶

Hiiro fawning over Aira's beautiful name 🥺🥺🥺

Hiiro here was really like yeah you're my soulmate, my soulmate bestie (no but seriously do you ever think about how hiiro became so attached to aira so quickly and wanted to become his friend so bad, and how he also saw their meeting as fate....)

He is so dramatic, he didn't even get directly rejected here

This is a personal favorite. I can't stress how mentally ill I was when I read Hiiro saying "I'll do my best to destroy the future where you'll feel sad" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF???? this should be added to the "is this Russian literature or enstars" online quiz

If you are observant enough you'll see that Hiiro is the one shamelessly flirting all the time AHDJF but Aira himself (mostly in later chapters) also says some questionable stuff about Hiiro in some parts that makes you go... Huh (Aira saying to Hiiro "Aira-kun's route is no longer available for you!" Aira why are you equating yourself and Hiiro as the protagonist and romantic interest of a dating sim game? Do you have anything to share with the class?)

But yeah... them (vaguely gestures with hand). They give a very strong first impression to say the least, so it's not hard to imagine how I came to ship them as quickly and as strongly as I did ahdjf

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?: God, there's so many things I like about hiiai I don't think I can ever list them or rank them, but I'll try ahdjf

For starters, I just really like their dynamic (very basic answer, I know). A thing I really love about their dynamic is how Hiiro is so openly affectionate with Aira, and I think it's cute how Aira is so tsun about his care and affection for hiro-kun, but he just can't leave him alone and thinks of him so often (he mentions him all the time in the game's home lines wwww).

Another thing I love is the way their relationship develops throughout the !! main story. How Aira stuck to him and to Alkaloid due to obligation (in order to survive as an idol in ES) but actually became attached to Hiiro and formed the unique dynamic with him where Aira feels like he can't leave Hiiro alone to prevent him from getting into trouble (and while there is truth to that, there's also the fact that just genuinely Aira loves Hiiro because the first friend he's had in a long time, and a very loyal and loving one at that). In Hiiro's case, he also got attached to Aira very quickly since he was also his very first friend on the city 🥺

In general, I love that hiiai are each other's first friends in ES when they were completely alone, and that by finding each other they found the solution to their chronic loneliness (because Aira and Hiiro both suffer a lot from severe loneliness ever since their childhoods. Aira has never been able to keep lasting friendships and Hiiro's only company in his hometown was Rinne. So them finding each other and hitting it off so quickly and easily means a lot for the both of them, and they both try their best to make the friendship work because they want to keep it and make it last, yk?)

Another facet of hiiai that I like... how Aira always teaches Hiiro new things and helps him understand the world around him. I like to think about how Aira is, literally and metaphorically, the reason Hiiro loves the city, and how that is what leads him to stay there instead of going back to his hometown with his brother (and I just sit here and wonder if the rinniki parallels were intentional from Akira's part?)

I mean literally because Aira is the one who taught Hiiro what idols are, and that was what made Hiiro realize that yes, this is something he likes and a thing he wants to do with his life. And metaphorically, because I believe that for Hiiro, Aira is a representation of the city. Aira is a city boy, he has an upbringing and worldview completely different from his. Aira grew up in a world that is completely unknown and new to Hiiro, a world in which Hiiro didn't plan on staying for long in the first place, a world that Hiiro didn't plan on getting attached to, but that he still came to like at the end — so Hiiro, by loving and accepting Aira, is metaphorically loving and embracing the city and coming to understand it*. And we know that Hiiro deciding to stay in the city and becoming an idol for real is one of the most important parts of his arc of independence and self discovery, so this gives Hiiro's relationship with Aira another layer of depth that makes their bond more important and essential for each of their characters and arcs.

*I almost forgot to clarify why I think that Hiiro coming to like the city is such a big deal (and note, this is a personal interpretation). Basically, because Hiiro was so dead set on bringing his brother back to their hometown so he could become the monarch, he was still close minded about the outside world and stuck with the old arbitrary rules taught by his hometown. But just as Rinne predicted and hoped, Hiiro ended up being marveled by the city and all the things it offers and so many things he's never seen before (and you can extrapolate that marvel he feels for the city as the marvel and interest he feels for Aira when they first meet). So just as Rinne left his hometown in favor of the city—which was a thing Hiiro didn't understand before because he didn't know what even made the city so good in the first place to make his brother want to leave—Hiiro ended up liking the city as well and choosing to stay there instead of going back home, therefore chosing his own path like Rinne.

But then again, this is just my personal interpretation of the text ahdjf

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?: I probably do, but I can't really think of one at the moment ahdjfj I guess one unpopular opinion is that I think that Aira isn't as stereotypically tsundere as people tend to depict him as in fanworks.

Don't get me wrong, Aira def is very tsun (and he is deliberately written as a stereotypical tsundere sometimes for the comedy bits and/or to make his feelings about others obvious. It might seem paradoxical, but the more tsun the acts—the biggest reaction he gets out of one of Hiiro's actions, for example—the more obvious his true feelings come across), but I also think it is often overlooked his character development in the !! MS where he grows to become more honest about his feelings and doesn't reject Hiiro's displays of affection as much and is even openly happy about them (like when he was happy that Hiiro held his hand and said it made him feel reassured). But this characterization isn't the most consistent throughout stories (and that is a thing that bothers me a little but talking about enstars' lore inconsistency is a story for another day ahdjf), so this is something very personal 😅

And that's all... thank goodness it was only 3 questions AHDJF I was hoping I'd write a short post, but it seems I *did* end up rambling about hiiai after all 😔🤙 what bring prompted to talk about the otp does to a person.

[etinceelle]

Look, I miss Penny and while I do think it's unfair that Penny didn't even get to experience much of what it means to be humans, a big theme of RWBY that I respect is that the heroes don't always win and that sometimes, good people die. If Penny were to come back to life, it would undermine not only her own sacrifice, but also the development of Ruby, Jaune and Winter.

I wrote a loooot of big reflexions and ideas about the Penny subject soo tbh I'm kinda tired to explain why I would disagree with you and why I think her coming back is very much possible. :'] Nothing against you but if you know me a liiittle bit, you know I write a lot about her, I give valid arguments when I write theories, nothing comes out of nowhere so feel free to check it out if you'd like to know more of my thoughts on this !

Of course in the end, no matter if she comes back or not, it's up to the writers and CRWBY to decide. I'm not saying anything I'm saying is the confirmation of anything, it's just that I need to gather my thoughts and write discussions on the topics because I still find odd that I'm able to find that many clues and hints about Penny even in just Volume 9 alone. Also I just enjoy this and I'm having fun in my little delusional era and even if it turns out not true, well I'm having a good time rn now aha. And people can completely disagree with me, I accept that of course ! But unless you have a discussion to start with me and arguments to give me on your opinion as well, what is the point to tell me that you disagree ? '^^

I'm not saying that to be mean, but it just feel like here that you seem annoyed of my little ramblings about Penny, if that's the case I will continue so feel free to not read if you don't like it. But if you genuinely want to discuss about the subject, then I think what you said isn't really enough. Like if Penny is just meant to be a tragic character, it's just sad that they brought her back + we already have Pyrrha who died and never came back (unless plot twist they decide to bring her back too lmao). Penny symbolizes hope in a lot of way, and I completely agree that for a while I thought she had to stay dead and never come back (again, just read my posts before writing in my ask section because I won't write to explain again lol). But as I explained in a few posts, Volume 9, literally a volume about rebirth and reincarnation, changed a lot of aspects to me. No one complained that much when Little died then came back as Somewhat just because they're Afteran. The very same universe that created the Two Brothers who created Remnant, anyway-

What I mean is that for the first time we have reincarnation depicted in a positive way in RWBY, while it's always been about war and "balance" before (balance instaured by the Brothers, and they don't even respect it). I think it's a big tone change in the RWBY story.

For now I'll stop there but truly, if you want to talk about this subject with me, read my posts-

[tbyfandoms]

I don’t know how gossip and stuff like that works in the hayden fandom (as I’m so new to it) but I just wanted to speak my mind on the whole rachel podcast thing because it’s been ruminating in my thoughts for a few days and I can’t move on LMAO

So, if you’re down for a little discussion, please feel free to read! If gossip or speculation and stuff isn’t your thing, no problem! Sexual topics will be talked about so keep that in mind in case that’s something you’re not too comfortable with! anyways, here we go…

Alright, so I know the podcast rachel did where she talked about her sexual experiences was literally two months ago but I just need to get my thoughts out on it rn

First of all I’m gonna say I’m 100% all for women being open and honest about their sexual experiences! Like we have a right to not feel shame in speaking about these things openly, but I’m gonna be honest, rachel talking about not having an org*sm (censoring bc idk how tumblr flags stuff and I don’t wanna get in trouble lmao) from penetrative sex until she was 38 lowkey gave me the ick

Like it’s so very obvious people are going to assume the fact she’s basically saying hayden never gave her any sexual satisfaction (correct me if this is a reach) and my jaw kinda drops at that realization??? Like you’re telling me over the ~10 year relationship you had with this man, he not once made you feel good? And the only way you were able to feel satisfied was by your own doing???

As I said, she’s obviously, obviously, entitled to her experiences and opinion like who’s to judge her for that??? But it’s the fact she’s said it now. It’s just kinda ironic to me that after all this time she brings this stuff up, coincidentally when hayden’s career is taking off again, as if the public and media won’t connect the dots on who she’s talking about

Like ya’ll idk maybe it’s me but imo that’s kind of petty to do 😭 like this man was with you for a very long time, he’s the father of your child, and yet you’re gonna make him out to be a guy that doesn’t know how to please his partner…

Maybe this is all such a reach so please take this all with a grain of salt, I’m really just rambling rn and maybe won’t even feel the same after I write this all out, but for now this is how I’m feeling!

It’s just all kinda spiraling in my mind because truly why would you say that (I’m more-so finding a problem with it because she did it so publicly and on a random podcast). And maybe this makes me a hypocrite because I literally just said women should be able to be honest about their sexual experiences LMAO BUT CMON???

Idk maybe it’s just me being defensive of hayden and the fact I literally don’t know this woman at all and this is the first impression I’m getting of her, but it just rubs me the wrong way. Like idk about ya’ll but I know if hayden christensen just looked at me, I’d lose my mind. So imagine being in a relationship with him, where I’m sure he can figure out how to make you feel good especially giving the duration of your relationship, just for you to then turn around and throw it all back in his face when it’s been literal years since you’ve been with him…(also same goes for that adam brody guy she dated in the early 2000s, like it’s not just hayden this reflects on!)

Also she talked about how she misses her ex bill hader (whom she coincidentally dated when she was 38) because of his um…big d!ck. So she’s also throwing into the mix that apparently the reason she couldn’t get off with hayden and adam is because they’re small???? IM SCREAMING DSKDJDH

But again maybe I’m taking this all out of context or not looking at it the right way or whatever, so sorry if this ramble of nonsense is giving you the ick, but so be it

I probably missed a lot of points I wanted to make so maybe I’ll come back to this later, we’ll see

The last thing I’ll say is, literally watch any of hayden’s movies where he’s in a romantic relationship with someone and genuinely tell me you think that man doesn’t know how to make someone feel good, specifically with penetrative sex (because that’s what rachel was talking about)??? It’s the way he’s acting and yet I can still feel the sexual tension and attraction through the screen. Just imagine him in real life. I shall leave some gifs below to further prove my point because…yeah I don’t understand

Exhibit A:

This scene from Awake literally has me screaming every time I watch it DKSJSH like the hand placement??? The kissing??? Yeah I GET IT, it’s not sex but just trust me on this ok

Exhibit B:

This scene from Factory Girl. Literally my most favorite piece of proof that goes hand in hand with the fact I cannot grasp the idea THIS man does not know how to please a woman I-

Really you guys just have to click on the account that posted these and look at the whole set because…I rest my case. Just look at the way he rolls his body on her *screams*

Ok sorry, bye that’s all I’ll say for now. I feel like none of this makes sense and I SWEAR I’m not trying to shame rachel, I just felt really put off by that little tidbit she decided to publicly share so yeah here’s my current thoughts on it. Please no one jump me, if this is truly an awful take I will delete it 🫣

[dino-boyo-agere]

I just got blocked, after leaving a comment and I want to make sure, I wasn't being rude.

[❗censored their tag, to avoid them getting any hate❗]

I saw this "anti Tyler Posey" post on my timeline:

I like Tyler, you don't have to. No hard feelings. Everyone has their own opinion, I was just really curious, to learn more about their motivation for that post and wanted to inquire why OP was so upset with/ angry at Posey..

*¹ In my first comment, I asked why OP was so upset and if maybe Tyler did something bad I haven't heard about yet.

*² They responded, listing these "bad" things Tyler had apparently done:

"brought up the teen Wolf Movie"

"faked his sexuality"

and "did Onlyfans"

*³ I counterargued, that:

He didn't make the movie, but just acted in it. As an actor, he's not really involved in writing the script or developing the plot. So that's not on him. ╰→ (Granted, I also think the movie is really bad, so had they just said "played in awful movie" I wouldn't have objected to that lmao).

He didn't "fake his sexuality", since his queerness doesn't evaporate, just because he's in a 'straight relationship' at the moment. Aswell as it's not "faking" when he playes a character with a different sexuality from his own, that's just part of the job.

Him having (had) an Onlyfans is nothing bad, because it's a completely normal way to earn money in the current day and age. Besides, as an adult, Tyler entitled to make adult content if he so wishes.. And sex work is still real work, there is nothing shameful about it.

And then they blocked me:

So, was I being rude or where they just not interested in a discussion?

Personally, I love discussing topics with people I disagree with, It can be really eye-opening to hear their viewpoint. That can help us (people) understand each other better, at least when their opinion isn't harmful, of course.

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

I see it this way:

Your opinion is your truth. It's what you feel or think is right at the moment. To you, it's most likely factual. Even if you find out a belief you held was factually wrong, that's okay. As long as it's not hurting anyone, you're entitled to still see it as your truth anyways. No one has the right to tell you what to believe in, silence you or to attack you, just because they disagree or because your opinion is 'factually wrong'. Other times, you learn that an option you previously held was actually harmful. That's okay too, as long as you simply move on from it, acknowledging your mishaps and growing from the experience. Only if you choose to stand by a harmful belief, then you should be held accountable.

But I can also see how many people don't seek that kind of conversation. Many just want to be right, don't accept others truths or even take it personal, when someone disagrees with them. And that's okay, that's totally valid. As long as your opinion isn't harmful to anyone, you are entitled to hold that opinion and refuse to indulge in any argument about or against it.

I'm not upset that they blocked me, by the way. It's their right to do so, if they don't want to interact with me. I just hope I didn't make them so uncomfortable or upset, that they didn't see another option but to block me. But then again, they never replied back.

That's basically all I wanted to say, sorry for the rambling and thanks for reading lol

.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･».ﾟ°･⁠✧ ↓ DNI ↓ ✧･° ﾟ.«･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.

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[chthonicgodling]

I said this in this ramble over here but I am so FUNNY irt elysium canon which is to say I’m so ridiculous with trying to preserve accuracy. the only two people who know the RAW TEXT of Elysium canon convos are me and fenixe and fenixe certainly does not care about my art translations!! but IIIIIIIIIIIII CARE

“oh god I really don’t want to draw eloki in The Armor And Outfit but thats all he wore back in 2012 when this Convo took place so I have to” NO I don’t??????? WHO WOULD KNOW THIS!?????? but it’s not accurate otherwise s.so I cant.

more topically and once AGAIN today “holy christ Tory and Loki keep having these Discussions that are making me Insane and I really wanna draw any of these LINES but they keep having these talks while [REDACTED LMAO] and I don’t want to just fully draw nsfwart so I guess I can’t draw any of this 😔” oHHHGGHH MY GOD JUST PUT THEM ANYWHERE ELSE!! POSED IN ANY OTHER WAY!!! NO ONE WOULD KNOW THIS!!!! NO ONE WOULD KNOW!!! (But I would know, sobs,)

I’m CERTAINLY not about to artificially manufacture art moments by strategically posing anyone in canon that’s even MORE illegal?! Th e art is a vehicle to share canon text it is NOT the other way around. anyway the struggle is real and really really stupid.

[icharchivist]

I mean, yeah, obviously, Reddit videos are harmless fun and sometimes you just want some noise while you debate whether you're gonna take a nap or not, but thanks anyway.

And yeah, looks like you'd already familiarized yourself with Somerton's thoughts then, if you already read the stuff he's been plagiarizing.

You explained that really well btw, maybe you should also do investigative journalism 🤔

But it definitely feels like you dodged a bullet. I just feel bad for people who weren't so lucky and admired and even supported these creators. That's gotta be quite a shock.

I also agree on the plagiarism discussion being in the spotlight right now being a good thing. I just hope it stays there and doesn't just disappear again in two weeks, because it is an important topic and it doesn't get less important in times of Chat GPT and such, but I'm also rambling.

It was a good video and I was thoroughly entertained and yeah, I'll keep my eyes peeled from now on. Semi-related, but Somerton is a bad person on a lot of fronts, between the plagiarism, the victim complex, setting his co-writer up as the scapegoat and the misogyny. Just an all around despicable person.

If you haven't even watched a show, don't make content on it, you stupid idiot. May he find an office job now that his career has hopefully imploded.

yeah right! i just felt the need to reassure in case, it can be so easy to beat oneself down for some silly stuff like that, i felt the need to clarify ^^

And yeah lmao, quite wild turn of event, all things considered.

And aww thank you so much! i don't know if i could ever go into investigation journalism, it demands a whole lot more research and patience than i happen to have ahah. But for what it's worth i do have two diplomas centering around researching and analysing historical texts and various media analysis (mainly literature, but also cinema in general). One of those diploma is in French (which also involved philosophy analysis) and the other is in English (which involved translation and linguistic analysis) so yeah. (while at it i also have a general art diploma that also involved art history analysis for instance). Like i don't like to brag about it and all and i still think i have many blind spots, but it's kinda why i'm passionate about media analysis and about historical integrity in general. I don't think i'm doing things super well, but as Harris says in the video, this is the typical type of skill you don't realize you have because it's a second nature to analyse the stuff you run into that way. (i did get teachers tell me that i had a natural gift for analysis and incredible insight, but i haven't recovered from that at all and if i let myself talk i'll downplay it super bad lmao but that sure was a thing) So at least i do have the desire to dig into stuff on another level, it's the way i've interreacted with media both for fun and for my studies to start with. But i'm also very lazy about sourcing, mostly because i read a lot of things, forget where i read it, and then it becomes just my base knowledge so if i want to regurgitate it i'm just like weep. what is a source. so i have no pretension of doing it professionally and i encourage people to take everything i say with a grain of salt honestly.

but yeah, i definitely feel like i dodged a bullet but i feel horrible for the people the guy scammed. Like he was stealing the work of vastly more experienced creators, and even surface levels stuff are fine because there's a first to any topic you get into - and i think he specifically appealed to people who didn't have a lot of ressources to start with, so those things were brand new for them. We can't blame people for wanting to learn. It is however shocking to see someone using this desire for his own notoriety while trampling over the rest of the community he builds himself upon while stealing from it.

I sympathize a lot with the people who did use to follow him. It's harder to see the red flags when you feel your concern heard for once in your life and you have nowhere else to expend your horizons to. I truly hope the former fans are going to be okay, and i feel so much for those who actually paid money for all of this :(

and i agree, i hope the conversation about plagiarism stays there and is actually discussed in depth. I do worry people might scapegoat Somerton so much that they forget the main point about the plagiarism complains, but it is also hasty to make this remark now as everyone is heated by the content of the videos and it's normal for now they're talking about Somerton more than not. I do hope the conversation about plagiarism remains when everything else die down though. It is an important thing in our current landscape, especially with AI, as you say, and yea, as Harris also says

shows how well you understood one of the purpose of the video that you saw this argument coming right ;D you should be proud of yourself for actually connecting the dots honestly.

I'm glad you liked the video though! truly!

And yeah Somerton is...truly problematic on various level. I do appreciate that Harris focused on the factual approach of plagiarism, the one thing people can't really go against. But the more you look into his general behavior, especially the stuff he adds when he goes off script from the plagiarism, the more it's bewildering. and honestly i feel horrible for the people he stole the words of, who had to have those disgusting addition added to their own personal experience. What a dreadful thing.

AND YEAH GOD how does he get the CONFIDENCE to talk about a show he didn't watch just from stealing from people!! and i have an imposter complex when i talk about things I HAPPEN TO KNOW VERY WELL because i'm constantly stressing out about "shit what if i misread it though"??? if anything thanks to this video for doing a number to beat down my inferiority complex. Like geez i might be an analysis fraud but at least i only engage MY OWN OPINIONS when i'm wrong! that's a win!

but i'm honestly glad to see the general reception to this video on tumblr, even from ex-Somerton fans. It shows the willingness to really look into things, the intellectual curiosity that is necessary to navigate this type of analytic corners.

I've seen a lot of Internet History fans on twitter being super mad at Harris for this video for being "an hypocrite" who "is only blasting IH because he's not a leftie" like...... tell me you didn't finish watching the video without telling me you didn't finish watching the video.... And it's bewildering to me how they're missing the plagiarism concerns because they're too busy supporting the political allignment of the guy who is accused of it.

This video is a reckoning honestly but good lord. what a mess.

[spacehead1127]

The mysteries of the world

Nobody will ever see my blog about random rambles lmao it’s as if it’s set to private but it’s out in the open waiting for someone to find it. Nice B) I like talking to a wall. 

Read or not, I’m still gonna put my thoughts out anyway. If anyone ever sees this, enjoy! :D Or if you don’t like reading, just ignore this. Or if you disagree with anything I say, feel free to point out your views if you want. I like discussing with people and attempting to understand different perspectives. I’m open to any criticism as long as it’s constructive. Thank you! 

Without further ado, for today’s topic it’s gonna involve my philosophical ass heh. If that’s what you would call it. 

This is a PART 2 of my text-podcast thing: go to my blog to see more!

As humans we have always been questioning the world: why and how it came to be. Thus, many millennia ago, humans started creating answers to the world that our human brains can comprehend and so, we would just follow it. And this is what we call, religion, to this day. We may or may not ever know the true secrets of the world, and I have a feeling it’s best to leave some questions unanswered for the sake of our sanity. 

Disclaimer before I continue: if what I am about to say may offend or hurt you in any way, I truly do not intend to do that and I apologise beforehand if I have. I am trying to come from a neutral perspective about the topics of religion and I genuinely do not mean any harm to anyone for their beliefs. Though I will admit, I may seem biassed because of my experiences that shaped my perspectives, but once again, I do not mean any harm. 

1. Being neutral

Personally, I grew up in a Buddhist background but I consider myself an atheist. I will get to that in a moment. The general definition of atheists is that they do not believe in any gods. There are some definitions out there that mean “atheism is a denial of gods”. For me, I don’t reject the thought about it but rather I just don’t have the belief, in a neutral way. No negativity about it at all. In fact, I find religions interesting and I’m grateful there are so many people out there who can learn moral values from their religions to be the best version of themselves, and I’m happy for them for that. I’m happy for the society as a whole to have a positive upbringing for their children. 

There’s this argument out there that people say you can’t be neutral and you have to “pick a side” if not you don’t know what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”. I have to respectfully disagree with that. Personally, I don’t think you have to believe in anything to be a good person. I don’t think your beliefs have to be permanent, either. Because I think as humans we should thrive for growth and change. Of course not all the time for the sake of it, but in healthy ways. “Healthy” as in not hurting others, and not hurting yourself. 

I don’t believe in “good” and “bad” or “right” and “wrong”. I think humans can be complex and that’s what makes us beautiful. But of course I do believe in positivity and negativity in the world. There are definitely ups and downs in everything, and that’s okay. I accept that. Nothing in the world is perfect after all, and life is a journey. But if you ask me what is the one thing I believe in? The Sun. I believe in Science. I believe in Life. I am forever curious about the whys and the hows of the world. I think it is great to question and learn. I love learning! It is such a beautiful process. 

I’ll get to why I consider myself an atheist. Of course I do have my own values in life and opinions about things. And it’s all shaped by my experiences I’ve had. As much as humans can build, we can also destroy. For me, I lost my beliefs in any religion mostly because of the people in it which includes my family. I have no issue with any religion itself at all, and I believe religions would never teach humans to bring harm to anyone for any reason whatsoever. But sadly where I’m from, there are so many people who bring intentional harm and claim that it’s because of their religion. And I really do not believe in that. I may be wrong. I think it’s the people who ruin it. It’s usually the people who alter the “words of god” just to make them their own. I know that I am touching sensitive topics here, forgive me. If there really are religions out there who teach us to do harm to anyone at all, then I apologise, because I am against that idea. I’m not against you who believe in it, but the idea itself. I may sound pessimistic for focusing on that part of religions but personally I am happier having my own beliefs and values as myself. The other thing I disagree about most religions is how they force their religion onto you. There were even wars that began just because of the differences in our beliefs. I may sound rude and hypocritical; but why can't we respect each other’s beliefs and mind our own business? (I’m aware I’m not minding my own business, just saying this for the sake of this topic lol) Is it necessary to promote religions in such a way that brings violence and war? Isn’t religion supposed to give humans hope in life? Have we lost all meaning for life? 

Though I do have several things I agree with certain religions and things I admire about them. Like for Buddhism, I agree with how desire and dissatisfaction can really screw up our lives. And how by practising gratitude can bring us happiness. It’s just for my family, they seem to be a more… toxic positivity (?) kind of vibe with Buddhism. They would be so close minded sometimes and strictly stereotype people as “bad” and “good”: “good is good” so we must always reward “the good” and “bad is bad” so we’ll continue kicking them into the dirt and let them rot in hell. Bro. What. Aren’t you going to help them? They also seem so hypocritical all the time because of how they say they are kind and all-giving and full of gratitude but they really are not aware of things like how mental illnesses are a real problem. If you have social anxiety and depression, they’d think you are a “bad” person for your, let’s say, pessimistic and needy behaviour but wouldn’t consider helping you. Asian parents. Amirite. Anyway. Another thing I absolutely admire about monotheistic religions is how disciplined they are. I admire how Muslims pray 5 times a day and how they dress so modestly and value cleanliness. Not just for their God but indirectly I love that they are also doing it for themselves. It is truly admirable. And I’m saying this as an atheist, their faith in Allah is beautiful, really. I’m happy for them. I’m from southeast Asia, so where I’m from there are a lot of races and religions mixed together. Although not everything is perfect and it doesn’t mean there is absolutely no racism and prejudice around here, I can still say that among us civilians, we’re pretty comfortable around each other and it’s a nice experience having friends of different races and cultures.

2. War and peace

Consider me a pacifist, because I really do not believe in war. Hatred and negativity will honestly get us nowhere. Why hate on things when you can respect and love? Isn’t it tiring to hate? I have been on the hating end and trust me it is very exhausting. In the end, I was only bringing myself down and affecting my own life. But for war, I can understand how messy it can be and the pain and suffering that came from it. Although war can be so immature. Sometimes things just happen and there isn't really anyone to blame it for. What’s happened, happened. Passing on blame to anyone for all our miseries isn't really going to solve anything, we’re just gonna continue dividing society even more than it already is. 

Which brings me back to the topic about being neutral. I hate how people force us to “pick a side” and if you don’t, you’re an enemy to them. (I am using the word “hate” lightly. It’s to the situation as a whole, not the people themselves) And apparently you’re also an oppressor by just letting it happen. I agree with that but only to a certain extent. Since war can be so immature, picking a side at all is gross. Why are you even trying to divide yourselves further? Let go of your ego and take a big step back and see the full picture. In the end I don’t think it’s even about winning or losing anymore, because war is a loss for everyone. Nobody can leave the battleground unscathed one way or another. War always brings destruction. Having a mindset that you can only destroy to create is just… screwed up. I’m sorry. I am being as nice as possible about this and this is where I stand my ground if you want to disagree with me on that one. 

In light of recent news and happenings, the Israel-Hamas situation. If you ask me, I’ve seen plenty of both sides. Overall? It’s exhausting. I think it’s so heartbreaking to see people tear each other apart. And it’s even more heartbreaking to see the ones who never asked for this war to get hurt. Ironic how an atheist is saying this, but I do pray for the situation to get better for them.

Unpopular opinion, but: I think some things in the world are meant to be divided forever. It is near impossible to ever get all humans to come together and not start conflict because of our differences in race, culture, religion, gender, ideologies, opinions, preferences, status, age, it will just go on and on. Even if we one day come to an understanding of each other enough to give each other respect and equality, I don’t think we can ever see each other the same because of how different we are. Humans want to be unique. And that’s okay. I don’t believe there is a real solution to peace. I am not being pessimistic about it, I am speaking realistically. The world is too divided to be ever brought back together; it is very complicated. But maybe that’s just the way things are meant to be. It’s just human nature. And of course I’m not being miserable about it, I am accepting it and living with it. Through my past experiences, I’ve learnt to shove down my ego whenever necessary and I’ve learnt to show people respect no matter who they are. The world is never perfect, but that’s okay. It’s all the more that makes the world interesting. Even if we ever have world peace, wouldn’t life be boring? There wouldn’t be a journey and lessons to learn from opposing point of views. Life would be too perfect and empty. Just like without light, there wouldn’t be darkness. But that’s just my opinion about it, and I’d like to hear yours :) 

3. Conclusion

My personal philosophies are,

We are all the same as a human species. We all have experiences, feelings, memories and opinions of our own—we all need to shit, eat and sleep everyday with a roof over our heads. And with that, there’s nothing else that should divide us anymore. Be grateful life is even a gift to us all. 

Love whoever you want to love, love whatever you want to love. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process including yourself, and as long as you’re truly happy. 

I believe the best way to live life is going with the flow of it with an open heart. Life may bring so many surprises, and there are so many things in this world that are temporary. Nothing is permanent, so be open to changes and live in the moment while learning from your past and embracing the future.

Everything needs balance. There is no in between. Don't do too much of one thing and too little of another. Stay in the middle or anywhere just right for you and you might just find peace.

This is getting long haha. I didn’t really plan out what I wanted to write, but I had some ideas in mind. I just went with the flow of my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading till the end. And once again, I sincerely apologise if my words have hurt or offended you in any way. 

Have a great rest of the day ahead!  ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪)

[roxtron]

came across this post again and now i wanna ramble too because like, yes everything 100% lmao. I'll go point by point here because I actually am probably gonna have a lot to say about the stuff talked about in this post so I'll start with the easiest, gay representation. I find it annoying when people act like you have to include things like racism and homophobia into your fictional world because it's "not realistic" and although yes, there was absolutely discussion of discrimination in this movie!! I also appreciated the fact that Ambrosius and Ballister didn't have to be the target of it for their relationship in order to get the point across- Like, yes, there were still themes of discrimination and whatnot, but (as far as I could tell) none of it had anything to do with their sexuality. (And keep in mind that's the main subject here, racism and homophobia earlier was an example of discrimination some people deem 'necessary', and thus is a separate topic from analyzing Ambrosius and Ballister.) Generally it's nice to be able to have characters just be without it needing to serve a purpose to homophobes, y'know? Kinda like how people talk about wanting more autistic representation without it giving a message to autism moms/generally non-autistic people, which I agree with obviously lol.

I think stories that do talk about discrimination are absolutely important and do help to show what struggles people can face- But I have to say I feel like those are generally, typically- Usually for people who aren't a part of the group being discriminated against, so they can empathize with them. It doesn't do much for the group being represented, and in some cases can make it worse by representing stereotypes in the process. (The fact I have more than one example of that happening is.. yikes.) But yeah I just really like it when there isn't a 'purpose' to a character being gay or whatever. They can just be. I think that's why I enjoy the LGBT+ representation in the She-ra reboot so much lol. (Ironically, the person who wrote Nimona (the original idk if they had involvement in the movie?) also worked on She-ra.)

If you can't tell, yeah, I talk a LOT. Sorry! But as someone who's already sort of grown/matured (Not sure how to phrase it) to the point of starting to accept being myself and just saying like, fuck anyone who dislikes me for who I really am.. Even though I didn't need to be told that message, it was still refreshing and reassuring to see it sort of represented in a positive way here. Without Nimona being viewed (intentionally, by the audience at least) as a bad person for those traits, they're just sort of quirks about her personality. I identify this most with my autistic traits personally so I can't speak much for other viewpoints on this mindset, but it really is more freeing to unmask and call out the people who would get annoyed at you for the way you act when you do. If you need to research the topics and shove it in their face: do it. Just because they may not understand they're being ableist doesn't mean you should let them, and if you feel like something isn't your fault when everyone tells you it is, maybe research if it has anything to do with being neurodivergent. That's one of the best things about diagnosis is being able to understand yourself more, why you do the things you do and why other people can be (accidental or otherwise) assholes for treating you like that for something you can't control.

Annd back to general media analysis here- I'm not usually the type of person who's able to get invested in movies alone. There's simply not enough time to get me to care deeply about these characters, no matter how good the movie is, how well the characters are presented, I can never care as deeply for movie characters as I can for characters with some kind of series behind them. The screentime and the context is important, and (for my investment) Movies don't tend to have enough time to flesh all of that out without feeling squished or cluttered. Like there's too much at once. And, again, this is just how I'm able to experience movies, that doesn't mean I think movies are a worse medium or anything like that, just that they're a more difficult medium for me to get invested in without any other content behind it. And for those who don't care- Don't worry I'm going somewhere with this lol.

I can't say this is one of those movies that blew me away as again it's difficult for even the best movies to get me invested- But I have to admit I was a lot more invested than normal! I read the novel as a kid but I didn't remember the plot so I couldn't really get spoilered, I think as a kid the vague ending just confused me anyway and I ended up forgetting about it. I expected this movie to be good, but I didn't think it'd be as amazing as it was. The comedy was great, I don't usually laugh at media often without making my own jokes but I was definitely having a good time watching some of these scenes lol. Of course the story still held that emotional weight, and I'm shocked they were able to balance the two so well (in my opinion.) Some people may not appreciate the clash, but I think it's impressive. Some movies try to balance comedy with a serious situation and it just ends up feeling forced and really kills the vibe of the scene, but I think it worked really well here honestly! It's not so much of a ''this is a serious movie with some comedic scenes'' or the opposite- It's more of "this is a fun, silly movie, AND it's still serious, meant to be taken seriously, and has a strong emotional core that doesn't feel separate from the more positive tone in the comedic scenes."

Annd I wanna talk about Ballister and Ambrosius' dynamic again lol- At the very least from the media I consume, this kind of dynamic is very uncommon, so it's always nice to see, but I love the way they represented it. From the pieces of the novel I've seen posted, and from what I remember, I feel like their old versions were more former lovers that have gone too far, and likely wouldn't be able to have a healthy relationship again after this- Whereas the movie keeps it as a constant point in their dynamic. They used to love each other, and they still do. When they have to face off it's made very clear neither of them want to, but they do what they think is necessary. I think the unique plot kind of helps with this honestly, it can't be just a basic "the person I loved is now a villain" because he isn't. He didn't do what he's accused of and is simply forced into accepting the role given to him. Even Ambrosius could be viewed as a villain for continuing to side with the government and not giving Ballister enough of a chance to listen to him or believe that he didn't do this. But at the end of the day the story's still successfully able to present that neither of them are. They're just doing what they can, and what they think is right during the insane situation they've been forced into, and likely haven't had enough time to properly process. Honestly? I think that was a great move, because at least Movie-Ambrosius, I think if he had more time to process he might've been able to consider Ballister's perspective, and might've listened, eventually sided with him. The complexity of it all is just overall really well represented, honestly. I've always loved writing like that where you can understand both characters sides. You might not like the character, you might still think they're a bad person, but you can never truly call them a villain.

I thought I had more to talk about but honestly y'all are probably glad I didn't LMFAO, I'm sorry, to anyone who read this thank you I know it was long bakdbhfkfbksskd- I like talking about stuff like this and it's kinda nice I can do it here, just. boop. type an essay worth of analysis, dump it out and have at least one person read it lol. I think that's it for now so, again, anyone who got this far, thank you.

NIMONA SPOILER RANT!!!

Soooooo I watched it a bit ago and OH MY GOD???????

The way they gave nimona a more pear shaped body as a kid really meant a lot to me, u don’t see that many kids like that in media, and as a child it felt like because I wasn’t like kids on tv i took up more space than I was supposed to (the good old “why do my thighs look like that when I sit” and “why are my shoulders wider” and ofc! The “why isn’t my face as thin as them?”) IDK I HAVENT SEEN LOTS OF PPL POINT IT OUT BUT IT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME??????

Altho Merida rlly helped me out w that but kids are still rude!

Bal also put out so many questions, like why do we feel we need to prove ourselves to other people? And why does it tend to take up a bigger seat than our morale? And the way it started to erode off his character was so realistic I feel also because they were so throughout with it, they didn’t just show the viewer “love urself” they actually DEMONSTRATED how that position FEELS

It felt like it was happening to YOU

And I really love they made a character gay without making it a CONFLICT, it feels like whenever people try to make movies about queerness, they can get lost in the homophobia and conflicting gay identity, and it can sometimes overshadow over the characters themselves (their intentions, feelings, etc replaced by labels and social customs so much that the character is just lost), and in the end of it, it leaves me super unsatisfied because I never KNEW who this was even about!!!

But here yes it was a plot point, but the characters felt real, like they actually loved each other, it made this conflict between feeling like one has to choose just a million times more important

I CARED about what happened to these characters

I feel that a part of that is how they made goldenloin the screentime of him regretting what he was going to bal, like u saw the raw, unresolved conflicts in his eyes every time he cornered him and ofc the “im fine, commander” scene REALLY just completes it all

If this movie was around when I was a child, I think it would’ve saved me a lot of heartache and maybe would’ve made me feel a bit better about being “too much”

And a lot more if I saw it when I didn’t know what my identity was (fun fact- I still dunno!)

And THE ANIMATION. THE ANIMATION. THE ANIMATION.

Ima just say- I’ve never seen characters melt onto each other that well, and even LESS in 3D ANIMATION??????

Also nimona’s unapologetic feral energy and how it both brings her up and throws her down- I just discovered a lot of myself in her and idk i guess I’m trying to be kinder to myself and ruder to those who aren’t kind to me (??)

I’m still figuring it out lol

[lilac-den]

Ah, your answers and IF are well worth waiting for, author.

Lmao 6 books and 3 can end with game over's essentially and you won't say which? a little cruel dear author, a little cruel lol, kidding. Fun times ahead then.

Now a couple more asks, delving into the archive and Dolo's answers leave me wondering lol should we be afraid of them? or treat them preciously and protect them to the best of our ability? or both?

Also how would the Ro's react to a clingy drunk love confession from Mc in the instance of Mc super drunk holding onto Ro in any way they can get their arms around them and mumbles "i love you" before promptly falling asleep on them?.

- confused British Anon

Currently, 3 game overs are possible 👀 Might include more-

As for your question, British Anon:

Zeus: Well, there can be two diff events: Pre-crushing and crushing.

Pre-crushing - "[Name], I advice you to withhold your alcohol intake to avoid accidental romantic endeavours."

Crushing - "[Name], I am restricting your alcohol intake to prevent accidental romantic endeavours." Pause. "No, in fact, it would be safer if you only partake in this much alcohol when I am close by. I will not have your inebriated state taken advantage of by others."

"But Zeus, aren't you the one who-"

"End of discussion."

(Note: Zeus isn't looking to restrict MC's control; they're just worried that MC might confess someone else accidentally and the person ends up a creep looking to bring drunk victims home. They'll calm down a bit more though if MC explains that the confession is a first and it's probs cuz they do like Zeus that way.)

Hermes: Sighs in annoyance and mumbles about MC needing to control their alcohol before tucking them in bed (and sleep on the same bed because, of course, MC had to be such a koala!). Hermes wakes up pretty late, so MC would have the time to run or stay if they wish. But Hermes would just comment last night as 'drunk rambles' and won't take a drunk confession seriously.

Dionysus: Stutters, flustering and lots of blubbering. They wouldn't know what to do after tucking MC in! Do they really like them? Did they mean it? Surely they'll need to talk about this come morning, right? Dionysus would be so fretful about this that they'll have a tough time sleeping. But they'll try not to go confrontational about this with MC, since it's a drunk confession. There is a likelihood that MC might have meant someone else (cue 💔) or MC just felt lonely? Y'all need a good talk before this poor soul wears themselves down.

Ares: They'll let MC sleep on them; they're not particularly heavy to Ares due to Ares's strength, so it won't be surprising if MC wakes up to their (MC's) bed. Ares would observe MC's behaviour in the morning though, asking if MC remembers anything of last night. If MC tries to deny remembering or genuinely doesn't remember last night, Ares would ask if they want to know what they did last night. If no, then Ares would consider the confession as what a drunk person usually does (Ares had more than enough experiences with drunkards). If yes, then Ares would tell them to MC and wait for MC to choose if they want to continue the topic or avoid it altogether.

Dolos: This little fucker is gonna end up recording this event, just so they'll start teasing MC like "Aw, tweety bird, you looooove me!" Of course, this would be done between the two of them. But I don't think Dolos would believe this to be a 'proper' confession, so they won't immediately assume you two are dating. They would consider this as an increased likelihood of MC reciprocating them though, so they may get a bit more active in their moves (if they haven't already. . .)

[the-chihayafuru-landslide]

Charles Rambles: on Chiharata and shipping the losing ship

I’m currently working on something else but I had to break away for a bit because this train of thought was too long to include and needed a post proper. This is a topic I have always wanted to discuss but have been too scared to because people are always ready to jump you in a dark alleyway if they even hear Arata’s name mentioned in vain. Well guess what DING DONG bitch ANSWER THE FKIN DOOR because today I’m breaking my silence and talking about Chiharata.

I mean lucky for me most of the avid Chiharata shippers have died in the war and what else do I have to lose since I am already hated by quite a few in this fandom (lol). So anyways this is more of a ramble (not an essay) on why I never shipped Chiharata and the reasons why I think it would have been a lacklustre ending to Chihayafuru on the basis of the way that Chiharata was PURPOSELY written.

You should have known it was over for your when Arata did the platonic Eden no Hana goodbye handshake. I blame the flowers.

For anyone who knows me, I was an Arata hater from day 1. When I was about to watch the anime people told me I was going to like the 2ND ML (Taichi) more and be very depressed. I was like pffff yeah right we’ll see about that. Then it happened exactly the way they said it would. The moment Taichi was introduced I was like oh noooo that guy lol he’s the one. Then for the rest of Chihayafuru I laid awake in anguish as I watched Chihaya have a crush on Arata FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON (to me)!! I was like WHERE TF DID THIS COME FROM??

So she did want to see him but was it because of a crush or because she wanted to play him in a match? (Spoiler: it was about Karuta)

I’ll admit a little hatred began brewing for Arata (but like I didn’t hate him but I also did y’know??) and I’m going to be real, I wasn’t always fair to Arata’s character lmao. I was biased because of preconceived notions I had going into the anime. I know this, but I don’t regret it because at least it was funny:

OK NO THE SECOND TWEET I AM STILL RIGHT ARATA SHOULD HAVE DELIVERED IT HIMSELF? EVEN IF TAICHI WAS HER BF HE CAN GIVE HER HIS PHONE NUMBER WTF

Like at the start of the manga Arata was going through the traumatic loss of the person he loved the most (canon) his grandpa. And I was like HOW DARE YOU NOT TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS IMMEDIATELY?? Why was I so needlessly heartless towards him LMAO.

I mean he was purposely written as the boulder so WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO FEEL

Sometimes people tell me that Taichi was right (when they first visited him in Fukui) in pushing Arata over when he kicked the cards but Taichi really DID NOT need to do that at all idc what you say. I’m defending Arata’s big stinky dogs in this case. Taichi I still love you even when you make mistakes. Sorry this got off topic... (that’s why this is a ramble not an essay)

However, I never fully hated Arata. The problem was since I didn’t like him in the ship there wasn’t much to like him outside of that. I did like the relationship with his grandpa but it only seemed to be really relevant at the beginning of the manga and at the end. Arata’s Karuta arc was probably the messiest out of the three and it was really difficult for me to resonate with it. His arc seemed to be a prodigy not feeling bad for playing at his full strength and winning? I don’t know the jury is still out on that one (and I am simplifying it a lot for the comedy). I actively looked for people discussing Arata’s Karuta arc but I almost never found any and I’m not sure if it’s because they kept their analysis locked up behind an Arata loving paywall or because I quickly made myself known as another bitchass illiterate Taichihaya they kept me blocked and off their lawn. So I am not an authority on that but I think when I do a re-read I actually would like to try and figure it out.

What I did often read in relation to Arata was of course the romance the ship between him and Chihaya. Now, I didn’t read these analysis to piss myself (necessarily lol). I actually think to be fully critical and fair you should read the other side’s arguments if for no other reason than to rip them apart (which I could every single time lmao). However, now it make a me sad because now that Chiharata didn’t pan out nobody wants to talk about him much anymore. Taichihayas hate him and already dug his grave out back Chiharatas threw him in there started piling dirt on him. It’s ok Arata, if nobody loves you then I will. YES I HAD MY LOVING ARATA ARC…

Funny story after shipping him pettily with Sumire I flew to close to the sun b/c I wrote a 5k petty fic about him and Sumire (as a response to my ACTUAL LEAST FAVOURITE SHIP TAICHI AND SUMIRE) and then I started to like the ship and Arata… I was like oh no this isn’t a joke anymore… AND THEN I MANIFESTED MY CRACK SHIP? Crazy

Back on topic:

From what I observed through the bars of my Taichihaya cage these are some of the reasons people like Chiharata:

Arata not putting any sort of pressure on Chihaya when he confessed and respecting her boundaries (not that she ever had to explicitly set any since they barely interacted)

His earnestness

The connection they had to their childhood

Their flirting? (I mean people thought it was sweet the way they were always blushing around each other and using someone else’s words “the cautious touch” personally I found it awkward that’s why I cannot in good sense not put a question mark LMAO)

Both being Karuta Bakas and the idea that they would be clueless in their relationship because they would just hyper-fixate on their shared passion. (This was more a HC than what we actually saw considering Chihaya didn’t remember the game she played against Arata)

Right so on the surface level I don’t see anything wrong with any of these points? A lot of them I too like in theory. Especially a man who respects boundaries (side eyes at you Taichi). I don’t think shipping them because this kind of relationship appeals to you is bad even if they were not the canon ending. It’s fiction and you can do whatever you want. You can have your head canons and your fan fictions (like someone passively aggressively said to me about Taichihaya once lmao)! Please your Chiharata AO3 tag needs it there’s only 24 fics (I think)

Even I can think of moments between Arata and Chihaya that made me question my loyalty (ok there was only 1 LMAO).

Not gonna lie it’s kinda funny he picked hauled her up on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. ARATA IS SO IMPULSIVE AND THAT’S WHY HE’S A FUNNY LIL GUY.

Why did I like this moment despite finding it a lil awkward and cringe? Because for the first time Arata kind of understood the weight that Chihaya carried and he really saw who she was - someone who works hard and wants to win more than anything. He learned more in this little moment than he ever would playing against her. It was THIS that was needed… moments outside of a Karuta match where they could dispel the illusions that they had of each other and actually get to know WHO THEY WERE IN THE PRESENT!! Both of them had changed a lot since their childhood.

That was always my criticism of Arata and Chihaya’s relationship was that they really did not know each other beyond their childhood selves. Let’s look at what I tweeted I think 12 episodes into the anime:

This tweet still makes me laugh because of the Karuta name thing cddkj I was really going through it

That is not to say you need to know someone in order to date them. You can date anyone for any reason. In fact, people seem to forget that Chihaya herself was willing to date random man from train station who had no interest in Karuta lmao.

But surely, knowing someone intimately is something required to maintain a romantic relationship? I’m hoping that is a given for everyone. That’s why I failed to understand why people would see them dating as a victory in the romance department; that they would instantly have this incredible profound, moving, and impactful relationship instead of thing that happened because Chihaya had a crush and felt like it? Or was it because they both liked Karuta and dating would be an extension of their passion for Karuta…….. uh ok sounds gr8 but they don’t need to date to play Karuta together dclksdjknsdjk

Like what did Chihaya even see in Arata as a person? The only thing that she seems to admire about him is how he plays Karuta..

That and his big hands I guess lmao. Big hands to play Karuta with.

Because I am in my Arata defender stage I actually think THAT IS A CRIME BECAUSE ARATA HAS A LOT OF GOOD TRAITS GOING FOR HIM:

He’s shy and blushy

He’s awkward but cute

His black hakama

He’s blind in an endearing way

Domestic King (thanks to the spin off chapter)

Caring to the elderly

Occasionally very sweet when he feels like

Cares DEEPLY ABOUT HIS FRIENDS

Strong arms can pick you up because of his 500 practice swings

Gives tall guy vibes despite being shorter than Taichi (he’ll always be taller to me idc)

Now unlike Arata we actually saw Chihaya’s thoughts towards Taichi:

I mean I don’t even need to point out the stark difference between them lmao. That’s not even mentioning what the boys think of Chihaya. It’s pretty evident when you put their confessions side by side.

Like for Arata the basis of his confession is him thinking back to their childhood memories and Chihaya asking him to play Karuta together forever. So no wonder he ended his confession with “let’s play Karuta together sometime” because literally that’s all he knows about her.

Which brings me to my next point of why I never shipped Chiharata and this is due to their lack of present “screen time”. Now, do not misunderstand me, lack of screen time does not stop me from shipping two characters when I think characters might actually be a good pairing. I shipped Arata and Sumire based on their one single interaction in the manga BEFORE IT WAS COOL. So trust me when I say I AM OPEN TO FILLING THE GAPS OF CANON WITH HEADCANON.

Though it immediately becomes clear at the beginning of Chihayafuru that Chihaya feels some sort of way towards Arata (a crush) however we as the reader only got like 6 chapters of childhood backstory to explain their relationship which included Arata helping Chihaya make a dream of her own and her awesome moment when she takes a card from him. What is lacking is any cute childhood blooming romance. Most of the childhood arc is spent on the trio: Chihaya, Taichi and Arata. So I always failed to understand WHY she would be crushing on this guy other than guy really good at Karuta and me likey Karuta. Literally she said the time they spent apart made him become like a God of Karuta… Like uh this your man?

Chihaya and Arata’s bond based on their shared childhood dream is meant to be contrasted to the relationship Chihaya has with Taichi. While one is confined to Chihaya’s longing to see him (Arata) THE ONE SHE HAS WITH TAICHI IS REAL TANGIBLE AND CLEARLY UNFOLDS BEFORE OUR EYES.

This is from the first 11 chapters we early Taichihaya shippers were FEASTING

From this we understand their dynamic! Did Chiharata’s ever listen to the reasons we liked Taichihaya? Well here are my reasons: it was because of their chemistry, their banter and teasing. But they are also so caring towards each and supportive and it wasn’t one sided either. They help each other become the best versions of themselves and they also have something that the other person lacks. Chihaya has a terrible memory and Taichi doesn’t have naturally gifted hearing. They are soulmates but opposites. SUN AND MOON.

Maybe all of this could have been used to develop a friendship? You know sure I’ll roll with that let’s say it was all leading to something completely platonic. Then please explain to me what would be the reason of PURPOSELY DEPICTING TAICHI AND CHIHAYA LIKE THIS?? LIKE THE PICTURES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES

I purposely picked moments from Chihaya’s perspective to make a point lol

The only thing that was lacking from these interactions is the shoujo filters, sparkles and flowers almost like the point was a superficial teenage crush vs. SOMETHING WITH A BIT MORE SERIOUSNESS AND DEPTH.

I have always ascertained that Chihaya is clueless when it comes to love but I never meant that in a derogatory sense. She is a teenager who is figuring herself out IN A COMING OF AGE STORY! She has to start as a dumbass in order to grow up!! People always seemed to get it wrong and think that Chihaya was somehow very mature in her feelings when it came to Arata when she was most certainly not. Why did she leave Arata hanging for 8 months only to be reminded by Kana’s remarks about turning into sea foam (sea weed?) that she should actually respond to his confession like kdjsnakjdsnsc.

It’s fine that she had a crush on Arata though. At that age, I too had dumb ideas about love. I thought that the person I marry should be good at piano because it would be very important to be serenaded in the future. While this certainly would be nice I AM WISER that there are far more important qualities to look for in a partner.

Since Chiharata shippers have also suddenly become cognizant that Chihaya and Arata had little screen time together (and none outside of Karuta) they are calling it bad writing since it wasn’t “fair”. First of all, real relationships are not always “fair” - not everyone gets an equal chance to become a couple with someone and spend time with them? Not to mention that it wasn’t the problem that Arata didn’t live in Tokyo because LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS EXIST? If Chihaya and Arata wanted to they could (Taichihaya ending up long distance is almost like Suetsugu is trying to say the distance was never the problem). It was never supposed to be “fair” because thematically that’s not what Chihaya’s crush on Arata was ever about.

These girls are me being like Chihaya what on earth are you talking about.

Chihaya’s views about love at the beginning are incredibly and purposely naive and immature. The only thing that seems to matter to her in a partner is being good at Karuta. THIS IS NOT TREATED AS SOMETHING SERIOUS AND OR MEANINGFUL IT IS PURPOSELY RIDICULOUS!! Because of this being one of the only traits Chihaya looked for in a partner IT MADE HER FIRST CRUSH BE her MARRIED sensei.

On the one hand I get it Chihaya Harada is a dilf you are valid.

That’s why when Chihaya said she needed to be “worthy” to sit in front of her crush I hope every single one of the people who shipped Chiharata realized this was an arbitrary standard and really should not matter when it comes to love?

If you or someone you know had to say this line with any ounce of seriousness as a defence for your ship you may be owed financial compensation.

I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were thinking that eventually this notion would be deconstructed afterwards because damn that is very shallow and also stupid lol. It’s just very weird that so many people still thought that “feeling worthy to sit in front of him” was relevant for Chihaya to be able to confess back to Arata because…

Arata confessed independently from Chihaya feeling “worthy”

She already sat in front of him and smoked him

It definitely does help when the person that you love shares your passion absolutely but again “passion” for another (love) is not the same as “passion” for sport. They are separate and not interchangeable. That was the point.

Like I’m sorry it couldn’t get more on the nose when some NPC said this about Chihaya’s crush dcndacjkjkn.

Then of course there are the subjective reasons why I don’t think a relationship between Chihaya and Arata would be really good for them. In a lot of ways they are too similar to each other in the sense of being “clueless” Karuta bakas. That’s why so many people made a ship where Chihaya and Arata’s relationship had to be mediated by Taichi who would keep both of them in line, which, would be fine if Taichi wasn’t a miserable sod who had his heart broken. Like that was simply too much to expect from him even if he was the happily rejected party in the end… Like sorry I don’t wish that for him !! He has the self esteem of a roll of paper towel in what world would that be a good ending for him kjncjdjkn

Even in canon like Arata simply must let Chiha go to move forward (I will expand on this a later time). The love that was pushing him forward (unlike for Taichi) was actually the love he had for his grandpa.

That’s beautiful, I guess platonic love wins! Thank you, I’m collecting tips in my hat.

No but seriously there was also this holier than thou attitude that some Chiharata shippers had that they were the enlightened ones who valued the true platonic love that Taichi and Chihaya had and that people who thought it was romance were simply projecting. Taichihayas simply were not respecting Chihaya’s agency! Because YES it was so clear that Chihaya was already in love with Arata!!

Damn Kana that manipulative mastermind making Chihaya doubt her strong and passionate love for Arata!

I mean she had a crush on him, she already said she was in love with him (even though she said she didn’t understand her feelings platonic love could never apply to Arata shhh) and rejected Taichi. The thing is, it’s fiction idc what the author might have “intended”. The depth in a relationship I wanted was in the Taichihaya pairing. I never once felt guilty shipping them even though I didn’t genuinely believe in a Taichihaya ending until 246. Not because Chiharata was better written but because I am a depressed bitch. But like if Chiharata was canon I could simply write it off as being dumb and pretend away the ending while enjoying everything else. However, I was always willing to accept a Chiharata ending because at the end of the day I actually do respect the character’s “agency” to pick their partner and love doesn’t always make sense.

What would not make sense to me in the slightest is why Taichi and Chihaya would be written like that to have a more meaningful and impactful relationship than the guy who she was in love with. But then we get to subjectivity, maybe people consider their best friends to be their closest relationships and the guy is the one you date because of his large hands and supposed sexual tension. Idk to each their own.

It speaks volumes that now that Chiharata didn’t become canon people are pissed off because at the end of it they don’t even consider Chihaya and Arata to be friends? SO WAIT A MINUTE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS ENOUGH TO SUGGEST LOVERS BUT NOT FRIENDS?? I don’t even need to say much about that.

I know some people REALLY wanted a friendship ending with Taichi maybe more than they even wanted Chiharata to happen. I get it, the idea that your friend can be crazy in love with you but then be you know what after everything we can still be friends (WHICH TAICHI FKIN DID). So if you liked that theme, why are you not satisfied with it being told through Arata? HELL SUMIRE HAD THAT EXACT STORYLINE?? YOU HATE WOMEN OR WHAT.

Is it because Arata didn’t need that much time to process getting rejected (well he did actually b/c as we always said he got soft rejected) because MAYBE HE CLUED INTO THE FACT that he was fighting a losing battle? Or is it the fact that absolutely nothing changed Chiharata’s relationship with Chihaya not reciprocating his feelings? If that’s the case, then maybe the author was trying to say that Arata’s feelings weren’t that DEEP for Chihaya. Maybe HE VALUES friendship with both Taichi and Chihaya more than to make a big scene. He has been set up to process disappointment easier than say Taichi?

LIKE LOOK:

I guess it sucks when it turns out you guys were PROJECTING as much into the story as those Taichihaya romance obsessed baboons. Everyone projects into a story. It’s actually ok ! WE ARE THE SAME IN THIS REGARD. LET’S JOIN HANDS AND UNDIG ARATA FROM HIS GRAVE PLEASEEEEEEE. To conclude my massively long rant and because I can no longer add any pictures, by the time we got to 246 without Chihaya and Arata dating it should have been fairly clear that it was not going to happen. Their relationship had barely progressed and if Chihaya would date Arata with the intention of getting to know him more OUTSIDE of Karuta... SHE’D NEED TIME FOR THAT!! It should have happened much earlier and not been dragged out to the end of the manga. (A topic I will leave for another time)

However by the time we got to the ending if Chiharata happened it would simply just be the pairing off of two characters a romance conclusion a la shonen. Chihaya would be getting a trophy and a husband for accomplishing her dream.

Instead the thesis was actually that “love” like Kaurta is something you have to work towards. It’s not always easy nor is it always “happy”. Yet it is worth it when you find the right person- you will still want to be with them “by their side” even when it’s rough.

Crazy how Taichi said this in chapter 9.

SO that pretty much wraps up my thoughts on Chiharata (for now)

This is Charles reminding you that Arata is now in his Tokyo Hottie arc!