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01zfan · 4 months ago

Text

bambi | j. sc

rapper!sungchan x stalker!reader | 10k words

FIRST INSTALLMENT OF MY SERIEZ WHO CHEERED? anyways THIS is the darkest thing i’ve ever written. like this bitch is crazy omg! sungchan in this universe makes music like the album Nowhere by DUCKWRTH featuring The Kickdrums. i specifically listened to indica la roux on that album while writing this.

contains: stalking, references to a toxic relationship, physical violence (reader gets into a brief altercation with someone), jealousy, angry/rough sex, sungchan is disgusted by the reader a little bit!

rock the house masterlist | ko-fi

we are in the city of love and you won’t even look at me.

you barely had enough light to write on the top line of your notebook. you had to uncomfortably slouch in your booth seat to bring your face as close to the paper of the journal as possible. the single candle burning in the center of your table and the dim wall light barely gave you enough vision. you never understood the point of restaurants barely having any lighting. how were you supposed to properly enjoy your food if you couldn’t see it? you despised the fact that places of his choosing lately only seemed to be dimly lit establishments.

once you were done writing on the top line of your notebook you closed it and bound it shut with the leather band. you leaned back against the vinyl seats of the booth, looking at the gentle flame in front of you. you focused on the wicker, how it was burning closer and closer to its end. right as you shifted your eyes to look towards the almost empty bar, the monsieur clad in white came into your line of sight.

all he seemed to be doing tonight was get in your way. when you were standing outside of the restaurant, letting your breath vaporize in the cold air as you looked through the window the monsieur came out and asked you if it was a party for one. you only meant to pass by, to not be seen because he had come to the restaurant before you expected him to. but the monsieur’s voice drew attention to you, forcing you to quickly nod your head and confirm that you were eating alone.

you had your revenge by occupying a booth seat meant for two and only ordering wine. this was the monsieur’s third time coming around with the bottle in his hand and the menu in the other in an effort to get you to order actual food. each time you would only nod towards your empty glass, silently asking him to fill you up again, and each time the monsieur wordlessly filled your empty glass with deep crimson red that almost looked black in the lighting of the restaurant. each time without fail the smell of cherries hit your nose and you would grimace. you covered up your disgust quickly with a sniffle and then a nod of appreciation.

“anything else, madame?” the monsieur moved the menu in his hand towards you. “an hors d'oeuvre, perhaps?” he suggested.

you looked away from the person sitting at the bar to look the monsieur in the eyes. you smiled and shook your head, motioning to the full glass of wine.

“just this. merci.” you said.

the server nodded but didn’t try to hide his annoyance. he walked away from your table with the wine bottle in his hand, getting ready to tend to the people in the restaurant who actually planned on ordering food. you gave your own look of annoyance to his back and rolled your eyes before you picked up the glass of wine.

instantly the sickly sweet smell flooded your senses again, so much to the point you almost gagged. but even if the wine tasted like cheap juice, you still took a big gulp after a moment of hesitation. your taste when it came to wine was insignificant in moments like this. it didn’t matter if you hated it because he loved it.

you knew his lack of taste for alcohol made him impartial to the ones that sounded sweet. the only time the man sitting alone at the bar would get alcohol was if he was eating dinner with someone else and they wanted it. he would look at the drink menu pretending like he knew what body or mineral meant in regards to wine while taking quick peaks at the person sitting across from him. he would only order what the girl wanted, you remember hearing the phrase that’s what i was going to get! and feeling sick to your stomach watching him lie.

you were happy that you made sure people speaking for sungchan wouldn’t be an issue a long time ago.

you found out quickly that girls were spooked entirely too easy these days. all you had to do was send a message from an account without a profile picture and they would cancel on him without a second thought. most of them ghosted him wordlessly, like they were a figment of you and sungchan’s collective imagination. you could never bring yourself to feel pity for threatening the girls, the only thing you felt was confusion. how could they cancel so easily on him? how come none of them wanted to fight for him? you were far from scary, how come they never stood up to you?

the only time a girl remotely put up a fight was because she was desperate and horny from the alcohol in her system. you remember stumbling after her into the bathroom of a stuffy crowded club and slurring a warning under your breath. the girl only looked to you and scoffed as she touched up her makeup in the long mirror. you silently staggered to each of the stalls to see if you two were alone as she told you that there was no way she wasn’t leaving without the tall attractive man whose songs were on her playlist. but even she gave in easily after you pushed her face into the glass of the mirror, seething into her ear as you repeated your warning. you didn’t let up until she had tears in her eyes and was gripping the edge of the sink so hard her knuckles turned white and her fingernails began to bend. you remember the excitement you felt for initiating an altercation fizzling to boredom at her submitting so easily. you might’ve let her have her fun if she tried fighting back. but she scurried off with her tail between her legs and her hands cradling her face and you never saw her again.

you never understood why nobody ever wanted to stick around sungchan, and he seemed to wonder the same thing. without fail, he would end up at the restaurant or the park or the club alone, looking around for the reason why. he would check his phone countless times, texting and sometimes calling to see where the person had went. where are you? is everything alright? was the latest text in all of his recent conversations, and his call log showed countless attempts to reach someone who was suddenly unreachable. any pity you felt for those girls turned into pity for him, how he was so confused no one wanted to spend time him.

you also felt pity for sungchan because you knew it wasn’t his fault that his reputation preceded him. despite sungchan’s insightful lyrics in his songs he wasn’t very perceptive. he was unaware that something hung over him like a dark cloud swelling with rain. he was unaware that because of this everyone in the world was scared to get too close to him. you were the boogeyman to some, a whisper of phrases through the grapevine that ran through sungchan’s social circle without ever actually reaching him. you were called a crazy ex-girlfriend, an obsessed fan, a stalker, even a hitman—but that was all wrong. what you really are is his protector. the tribulations and the extent you would go to protect sungchan’s peace was something only you and your journal would know. you weren’t the dark cloud, you were the person behind him holding the umbrella over his head. you could admit in some aspects you were the boogeyman. you were the thing lurking in the shadows and hiding underneath the beds of anyone who doesn’t love or appreciate sungchan the way you do. someone had to be that person, someone had to have the tough job of protecting him. sungchan’s cardinal sin was that he was too trusting, his bambi eyes instantly softened to everyone, welcoming them in even if they intended to bring harm.

that’s why you were so drawn to him in the first place. you remember first seeing him, how his eyes welcomed you in so fast without hesitation. sungchan had no idea that you knew who he was, and you had no idea how close he was to you. he was too trusting that’s why you were able to become a part of his life so easily. before he became too famous to go outside you were there as the supportive person that was too complicated to be labeled as his friend. you were the one that convinced sungchan to go by bambi and to make a career off of being vulgar. you encouraged him to make songs about cursing even though you only heard him do it once and you helped him write about drinking and smoking because he couldn’t handle the taste of liquor and he coughed uncontrollably at even being in the presence of a cigarette.

many would’ve called sungchan a poser if they knew about him in real life. his lack of a presence on social media helped add to his allure and certified his persona. you remember sungchan often thought called himself a poser due to making songs about a lifestyle he didn’t lead at all. you believed that he didn’t get it—that he didn’t understand the artistry or the irony of bambi. a character created made to be the complete opposite of the big innocent eyes everyone always told him about.

you think that he felt disdain for the persona you helped create and he hated that his persona got him famous. you blame that for the reason he forcibly removed you from his life—all the other things he told you while you packed your things were simply just lies. you forgave him easily for what he said about you, that was water under the bridge a long time ago. loving and protecting sungchan forever was your part of the deal, and you planned on fulfilling your promise until the end.

that’s why you were here in paris, one of the places he always talked about taking you to as you stared at his back. he had just played a sold out show, there was no way you could let him celebrate alone. so as he drank his celebratory glass of wine you took another sip yourself, even raising it in the air slightly as if you were cheering him on.

the monsieur finished his rounds with sungchan, approaching him from behind to top him off. sungchan was slightly caught of guard, and you felt the thrill when he turned slightly in your direction. you instinctively moved your face to the side, trying to conceal your identity in the dimly lit corner of the restaurant where you resided. another couple left the restaurant as the monsieur filled sungchan’s glass the same way he did yours. you saw sungchan shake his head and wave off the monsieur after he leaned in close. you imagined it was the same question he asked you, maybe he tacked on a has your guest arrived yet, sir?

when you were three glasses of wine deep and it was just you, sungchan, a couple, and an old man left in the restaurant you started getting sloppy. this always happened when you were drunk and thinking of sungchan. you started clearing your throat a little louder than usual, staring at his back a little harder, and writing in your journal a little faster. the sound of your pen running over the pages filled the space you occupied. the old man looked towards you a couple times when you would let your gaze wonder around the rest of the restaurant. he sat on the other side, a pasta dish half eaten as he observed you carefully. you couldn’t be bothered to care about his gaze, if he was curious or silently judging you. you only continued to drink and write in your journal as you entertained your wine drunk ramblings.

you had made it to a new page of your journal when the last couple left the restaurant. you wrote about his show, how you were overwhelmed seeing so many people in the crowd from the balcony. you wrote about looking around the venue hearing the lyrics of a song sung back to him onstage. they don’t know the song was about me. you wrote about being in the studio with sungchan, just you, him, and a song about your body playing in his studio headphones. you wrote about what you did to him then and what you would do to him now as your hand began to lose it’s precise coordination. when you recalled sungchan lighting up the back of the venue and seeing him narrow his eyes as he looked in your general direction the end of your e’s trailed off the page. your pen to abruptly cut off at the end. your face started to feel hot to the touch and you looked to your empty glass.

you had lost count a long time ago and you realized you lost your perception of time when you looked to the bar again to find that sungchan was no longer there. you quickly looked around the nearly empty restaurant, scanning the tables and the area behind you as you tried to find him. when no one emerged from the bathroom you realized you had missed him. you looked down to your journal, noticing that your handwriting had devolved and you somehow made it to the bottom of another page. you leaned back against the vinyl of your seat again, rubbing out the tension in your shoulder from slouching for a long period of time. you entertained a thought of getting another glass to loosen yourself up but you decided against it—you had an unfamiliar transit system to navigate once you left. you instead moved the wine around in tiny circles, watching the small amount you had left coat the inside of your glass before settling again at the bottom.

you continued to mindlessly stare at your wine glass as the old man left the restaurant. when he bid an au revoir more waitstaff clad in white started coming through the swinging doors from the back of house into the main dining area. when they started shooting you annoyed glances and folding silverware in the booths surrounding yours you finally got the check. you imagined that sungchan was already in his hotel room, trying to contact another date that had stood him up. you imagined him pacing around the room begging for an answer to an empty mailbox as to why she bailed without saying a single word. you briefly thought about going to see him, or the chance of running into him on the way to your hotel but you let those thoughts melt away by the time you signed the bottom of the receipt.

while you pulled your jacket from the booth beside and slid your journal into your bag you stared at the barstool sungchan sat at. his empty wine glass and the bottle still sat there. if you were alone in the dining area you would’ve made an attempt to steal it. you could’ve concealed the wine bottle into the deep pocket of your coat, maybe even steal the glass to compensate for not sitting by him. at the very least you should’ve sent sungchan a bottle, just to see his eyes get big as he scanned the restaurant looking for the person who knows him so well. but you settled for wishing once again as you left the left the booth and walked around the circular tables to the exit.

in the cold paris night even underneath the fur coat that went all the way down to your calfs you were freezing. after the restaurant door was shut and locked behind you your arms instinctually came together, rubbing up and down the expanse to try and create warmth. you looked from side to side even though you knew where you were going, trying to compose yourself enough for the walk to the station. when you still felt cold you inwardly laughed to yourself about how the animals you were wearing died for nothing. you took an experimental step in your heels, and when you could walk balanced you turned right to head towards the train station.

you were distracted by trying to get home as fast as possible. you were too focused on your heels clicking on the brick roads making sure you were walking in a straight and composed line. you prioritized closing your body in on itself to try and generate more heat instead of taking in your surroundings. you were distracted by your vaporized breath and thinking about the weather back home that you didn’t notice the long strides coming up behind you.

for a moment, it was scary. you were looking down the small alley when you felt the hairs raise on the back of your neck. you turned away to look over your shoulder just to be pulled by your arm towards the space between two buildings that previously gave you a sick feeling. the force of the pull caught you off balance, when you tipped back on your heels another hand had to keep you upright. you couldn’t scream, you were so surprised and desperate to regain balance that you didn’t make a single sound. adrenaline and fear coursed through your veins as you were quickly turned around and pushed against the brick side of the building.

sungchan catching you off guard when you dedicated your life to watching him was ironic. the fact that you didn’t know it was him instantly was almost comical. when you understood it was him you couldn’t stop yourself from smirking. maybe it was the wine coursing through your veins that made you start to laugh. your cackles ricocheted between the two building and the blood rushing in your ears you didn’t hear what sungchan said at first. you only stopped laughed when he pushed you up the wall by his grip on your arms until your feet dangled uselessly in the air.

sungchan finally looked you in a dark secluded alleyway of paris, his narrowed down to slits before he realized who you were. his eyes became saucers, the whites of his eyes becoming more and more exposed and his grip on your arms faltered to the point that the tips of your feet brushed the ground.

“i fucking knew it.” he said quietly.

the smell of cherries and smoke fanned across your face. instead of grimacing you embraced it, breathing in so deeply your chest lifted. sungchan still had his hands on your arms and you were still pressed to the harsh wall. you felt a dull throb on the back of your head as the adrenaline of being caught like prey wore off.

you didn’t fight against his grip, you only bent your arms at the elbow as far as they could reach. you caressed the sleeves of sungchan’s winter coat and pinched the rough gray tweed between your fingers. he looked from your face down to your hands and with a disgusted look he let you go.

as sungchan backed into the brick wall of the alleyway opposite of you, you had a moment to compose yourself. silently he watched you run a fast hand down the sleeves of your fur coat to wipe off the dust. you backed away from the wall and straightened your sleeves, and quickly patted your jostled hair. when you were put together you leaned against the wall relaxed, trying to control the excitement you had been chasing after for so long.

“what are you doing here?” sungchan asked.

“you know i’ve always wanted to come to par—”

“bullshit.” your eyes widened at how natural curses seemed to roll off his tongue now. ”what are you doing here?”

sungchan looked at you from the other side of the alley like he didn’t already know. you were here because he was here. you could see the pieces slowly coming together in his mind, maybe he was more perceptive than you thought. when it finally all clicks you see him roll his eyes up to the sky, nodding his head as he speaks.

“i fucking knew it.” he repeats.

you still lean against the wall, the severity of the situation hasn’t set in for you yet. your inability to take sungchan as a threat even when he’s the angriest you’ve ever seen him is your biggest character flaw. your mind is only replaying the split second he brought you fear, the small moment of all your terrorizing on his life came back to you.

“how did you know?” you ask while wedging your hands between yourself and the wall. you only hope to provoke sungchan more by being relaxed, calmly asking questions while he actively loses his mind.

you see him look down from the sky to stare you down. you return his hard gaze with an innocent curiosity and cross your legs to balance on one heel.

“i swore i saw you in the crowd last night, and shotaro thought he saw you at the club months ago. i didn’t want to believe it but—” when sungchan saw you fail to hide a smile his eyes showed indignation. he stopped leaning against the brick wall to try and make himself seem bigger “you find this funny? i should call the cops.” he said.

you felt the sick thrill and adrenaline course through your veins again.

“so do it.” you said.

sungchan tilted his head at the sincerity in your words. he recognized your blown out bedroom eyes and the way you were getting excited. he shook his head in disgust again, but didn’t turn away from you.

“you’re disgusting.” sungchan seethed.

“i know, you wrote a song about it.” you looked down the alleyway, looking past the blue dumpster to the other side of the road. you smirked to yourself before leaning your head against the brick wall again. you playfully touched your chin like you were trying to recall something. “i think then though you used the word nasty.” you said.

you were playing with sungchan and he knew it. you both knew even if he cussed now, he still wasn’t someone who could call the cops on anybody. you both still remembered when he lived in the cheap apartments that he would hear illegal activity all night and turn a blind eye to it.

sungchan also hated to admit that he still had a piece of him that was protective of you. to be fair, he only recently noticed you lurking in the corners of his life. when he ended the relationship he thought it was a clean break, that you were holding up your end of the no contact agreement. when he came into fame he couldn’t help but think of you, and the sightings of you in the crowd of the shows he thought were projections of his mind made him miss you. when you slightly lost your balance on your heel the muscle memory of his body almost made him clear the distance between your bodies. he had to cross his arms to occupy his hands but it was too late—you looked at him with a knowing smirk as you went back to standing on your two feet.

he hated himself for the fact that he couldn’t pull away from you. sungchan recalled being in this position with you before—after a show, him looking down at your body leaned against the wall as you looked up at him with stars in your eyes. so much has changed in your relationship since then but sungchan felt the butterflies all the same. the stars in your eyes caused by the street lamps practically sparkled over your glassy pupils. he shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine. he found it harder and harder to be scared of you when you looked so welcoming and familiar opposite of him. you looked so warm in the fur coat he bought you with his first paycheck and suddenly shivered.

“your show was really good by the way.” you said, bringing your jacket closer to your body.

sungchan’s first step was small. his feet barely brought him away from the wall he was up against, but when he took the step forward you stopped leaning. every hair on your body stood on end, and for the first time in god knows how long sungchan felt unfamiliar. you spent so much time observing him that you forgot what it felt like to be the center of his attention. his second step was daunting, it made you straighten your posture against the wall and bring your hands from behind you to rest them at your sides.

the closer sungchan got the more you realized how big he had gotten. from the other side of the alley he was the same height as you, and from afar in his baggy attire he seemed small. but when he stood in front of you it left you craning your neck upwards to see him. he looked down at you with a look of disgust that shouldn’t have evoked anticipation shooting up your spine.

when he brought his hands up from his sides you stiffened. his hard gaze did not falter in the slightest as he gripped your arms the same way he did before. you winced from the pain, he was pressing directly onto the forming bruises. when he saw your face flash in pain he didn’t let up, he only squeezed tighter until you parted your lips to groan. puffs of air in exasperation floated between your two bodies before dissipating into the night sky. you noticed sungchan’s breaths coming out deep and heavy as you both held eye contact. you felt his hands wrap around the circumference of your upper arm, pulsing his grip to remind you how strong he was—that he was in control.

“you’re sick.” sungchan seethed.

you wordlessly nodded your head.

“you’re pathetic.” sungchan said.

you swallowed thickly and brought your hands to grasp at the sleeves of his shirt. instead of caressing the fabric your clutched it in your hands desperately and held on so tight you thought you were shaking. when you didn’t back down from sungchan’s degradation his look softened.

“what do you want from me?” sungchan asked.

your eyes grew even wider at his question. you had been chasing temporary fulfillment for so long you never stopped to consider what your end goal was. you knew what sungchan truly meant by his question, he wanted to know what it would take for you to leave his life and never come back. you truly didn’t know what it would take, what circumstance would make you leave sungchan alone? maybe he would have to be happy in the tiny world you handmade for him. maybe you had to be a part of his life in any capacity. maybe you had to die or be behind bars. what you wanted from him was insurmountable and was everlasting.

sungchan squeezed your arms hard. the pain made you audibly hiss and clutched at the sleeves of his coat even more. when you focused again on sungchan his eyes had gotten bigger and even more impatient waiting for your answer. he shook your arms for emphasis, and you shook your head.

“everything.” you said quickly.

“you want everything from me?” he asked.

sungchan spoke like he was giving you a chance to change your answer. he wanted you to turn into a babbling apologetic mess crying just let me go and i’ll never bother you again. he wanted you to seem apologetic, but the only thing you seemed sorry about was that this didn’t happen sooner.

you doubled down on your answer, nodding your head as sungchan loomed over you. you weren’t scared of him, when he let go of you for the second time your body leaned towards his touch.

“give me everything and maybe you’ll never hear from me again.” you reiterated.

sungchan looked down at you again and scoffed. who were you to demand anything from him? why was he considering to give it to you? he was in the city of love for the first time in his life arguing with someone who was ruining his life. sungchan was disgusted with himself for almost finding it romantic. how long had you been following him before he found out? how much of your savings did you spend to follow him out here? did you go to every single one of his shows? he knew you were a looming presence in his life, but he was moved by your devotion. when he’d hear your voice over his shoulder in the studio while recording. did he need you the same way you needed him? was there a world where your roles were reversed? where you were the famous one and he was the one following you around the world? in some sick way he understood you, sometimes the thought of you becoming someone else’s problem made his stomach sink.

sungchan tried his best to hide his thoughts behind a stone cold resolve but you still looked up at him smiling like you knew everything. your smirk disgusted him, the way you still reached for him made his stomach turn. he doesn’t know why he gripped your bare wrist and yanked you from the alley to flag down a taxi.

your feet lagged behind the rest of your body again at sungchan’s abrupt strength. you nearly lost your footing as you stumbled towards the road. you looked at the back of sungchan’s head, his black strands of hair that peaked from underneath his beanie. you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at the sight of his hand wrapped around your wrist. you had forgotten what his touch felt like on your bare skin.

you were still off balance when sungchan opened the back of the taxi cab and guided you in first by your wrist. you stumbled into the seat ungracefully, bringing the attention from the driver to you. he looked in the rearview mirror, and you did your best to ignore him as you scooted to the other end of the taxi to make room for sungchan. he came into the back of the cab calmly, sitting down and buckling himself in.

“where to?” the driver said once sungchan closed the door.

the driver was still looking to you in the rearview mirror, cutting nervously to the man sitting on the opposite side of you. there was no way the driver didn’t see sungchan pull you from the alley and roughly usher you into the car. the act of being seen quickly became your goal instead of something you were actively trying to avoid. you hoped that everyone in the ninth arrondissement of paris saw sungchan dragging you around. with the drivers eye still on you, you looked to sungchan expecting him to tell the driver where to go.

sungchan only returned your confused gaze, even tilting his head to the side when you said nothing.

“you know where i’m staying right?” he said harshly.

you nodded and swallowed thickly before telling the driver where to go in an embarrassingly meek voice. when you were done you watched the driver hesitate for a moment before starting the meter and shifting the gears.

the ride back to sungchan’s hotel he kept his eyes trained outside the car. he looked at the passing lights and businesses that were closing down for the night. you didn’t bother to look at anything but him. occasionally you would twist your wrist that was still in his hold just to feel his hand tighten around it in warning. you uselessly pawed at his arm, baiting sungchan into displaying his strength again and again. if you were lucky it would leave a bruise.

the only time you looked away from sungchan was when the taxi crossed over the bridge. the whole city was lit up but the lights on the eiffel tower stole your attention. you looked out sungchan’s video to get a view of it, how everything seemed so small next to it. sungchan looked at you from his peripheral vision and a beat later he leaned back in his seat to give you a better view. you ignored it for his sake and flexed your hand in his grip again.

he didn’t let go of your wrist until you were in front of the hotel. he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door, not bothering to look back at you.

you clambered over the seats while sungchan paid, and when he was done he grabbed your wrist again and pulled you out of the car. you were used to the yanking and the force behind his pulls now, you were no longer stumbling on the ground and you kept up with him.

your clicking heels sounded on the brick walkway and the marble flooring of the lobby. you clicked behind his long strides and you basked in the stare of the hotel concierge as she looked up from her desk to watch sungchan pull you through the lobby. an elevator was waiting for you two when he pressed the up button, the metal doors opened to an empty car. just like with the cab sungchan led you in first by the grip he had on your wrist. you instinctually went to the corner of the elevator, watching him press the button to the eighth floor before repeatedly pressing the close button.

when the elevator doors closed sungchan only focused straight ahead. you were silent in the corner of the elevator, picking up his subtle hints that he needed you to be still.

the doors opened to the eighth floor and sungchan looked both ways before heading left. you followed behind him silently, trying to be mindful of your heels on the carpet of the hallway. you had no concept of what time it was now, but you could only imagine it was late. the roads were empty and it seemed like in all of paris only you and sungchan were awake.

when sungchan pulled his keycard from his back pocket you pulled in a breath. it was the loudest you had been since talking to him in the alley. sungchan tapped the keycard against the doorknob and you saw the red light flash green before he pushed it open.

you couldn’t even make it through the door before he pushed you against the wall. you realized in that moment that he was being gentle with you in the alleyway. your back hit the wall, and sungchan didn’t give you space to move as he came close to you.

instead of gripping your arms sungchan ghosted his hand over your neck, and instead of letting you tip your own head up to look at him he did it by pulling your hair. he got close to you, watching how you were completely at his mercy in this position. you should’ve been scared, both of you knew it. sungchan was capable of squeezing the life out of you then and there, some would argue he had the right to. but when sungchan looked into your eyes he didn’t see fear. what he saw was desperation that was so palpable he could taste it. you looked at him pitifully with eyes of want instead of terror, and you leaned into his threatening touch instead of pulling away.

sungchan wanted to see if he could scare you, maybe if he got a little closer you could see the anger in his eyes and if he squeezed around your soft neck your eyes would widen in shock. but as he got closer you only preened your lips closer to his and parted your lips when his nose pressed into yours. sungchan watched you press your hands flat against the wall, trying to lift yourself up to get closer to him. his lips were inches away and you shut your eyes and tilted your head in anticipation. sungchan watched you shake and get on your tiptoes to try and close the distance. he couldn’t take it anymore when he saw your tongue poke past your lips to wet them with spit. the habit you always had before kissing him made his reservations crumble. his hand left your neck and went to your jaw instead, closing the distance so fast your teeth bumped against his.

sungchan’s lips were soft against yours but his actions were rough. immediately he stuck his tongue into your mouth, laving your teeth and the sides of your mouth an an excess amount of spit. anytime you leaned or tilted your head the way he didn’t want he would tug at your hair. when you brought your hand from your side to try and paw at him sungchan let go of your jaw to press your wrist against the wall. you were still, essentially a puppet in his hands that only moved its lips in the way he wanted. when he leaned his body against yours to keep you against the wall you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning into his mouth.

sungchan pulled away completely at the vibration. both of your chests were rising and falling, and sungchan’s heavy breaths through his nose fanned your dewy skin. your coats that kept you warm in the paris winter only made sweat line the planes of your skin in the thick air of the room. you felt sweat forming in the small of your back and your hands were clammy and shaking as you experimentally reached towards the buttons of sungchan’s coat. when he didn’t snatch your wrist again you started pushing the buttons through the tiny slits of fabric.

sungchan’s hands clasped over your shoulders before he started working your fur coat off of you. your shivered under his touch and your hands started working quicker, sometimes fumbling with a button. sungchan was still slow, not bothering to push the coat down your arms until they were back at your side. he looked down at you as your thick coat fell to the floor, pooling at your feet.

when you were out, the air seemed to stand still. you heard the air conditioner kick back on somewhere in the room but it didn’t cool anything between you and him. you only shivered when sungchan ran a feather light touch up your arms until he got to the sleeve of your dress. he pinched the velvet fabric between his fingers. you shamelessly reached across to sungchan’s torso and started pressing your fingers against his stomach to feel the definition of his abs.

“you don’t wanna be seen but you wear this?” he asked while doing a once over of your body.

sungchan was unfazed as your hands became greedier. you pulled his tucked in shirt from his jeans and slipped your hands underneath. you shuddered again at being able to feel his warm and hard skin under your fingertips again.

while you were pawing at sungchan’s torso and pulling at his back he was calm and collected. he ran his hand over the top of your dress, following the square neckline that left your collarbones on full display. he trailed his hand to the center of your chest and pulled the fabric down. neither of you cared about the stretch or the chance your dress might tear. you only raised your chest, trying to put yourself on display for him as quick as possible.

the fabric of your dress stretched first before you heard the tear. you didn’t know where it was, all you knew was that your chest was exposed. sungchan’s hand left your hair to squeeze your flesh. he gripped so hard you felt the blunt tips of his fingernails dig into your skin. you squirmed from his harsh hold, pressing your head against the wall as you tried to not make a sound. sungchan looked from your chest to your eyes and let go to harshly pinch your nipple. from that you let out a whine of pain, your nails scratched the wall as you kept them pressed there.

“show me what you want.” sungchan said it directly in your ear, cherries and his cologne fanning the side of your face. “so i never have to see you again.” he whispered.

you pulled your shaky hand from the wall and guided his other hand to your chest. you pressed flat against his hand, hoping he remembered your silent cue that you needed him to touch you more. sungchan obliged, kneaded your skin the way he used to. you reached your hand to wrap behind his shoulder. it pulled him closer to you, and you arched your back until your chest pressed into his. you strained against the fabric of your dress, and you heard more tearing as you tried finding more room.

before you could reach behind your body to unzip the back sungchan’s hands left your tits and went to your legs. before you could whine from loss of contact he lifted you up. when you wrapped your legs around his waist, you were taller than him. you had forgotten what he looked like from up here, he couldn’t hide anything. the lamp showed his blown out eyes clearly, and caught on his glossy lips. you placed your hand on his cheek while you used the other to slowly pull his beanie off. you had been here before—the image of sungchan’s mussed hair and his needy eyes played in your mind like a movie. you brought your lips down to his hastily and he held your body just like he always used to.

you were so invested in the kiss, you slouched into him the same way you did to your journal, and you poured your all into him too. your hand that was placed gently on his cheek became desperate and clutched his face in a way that caused his lips to part and pucker. you stuck your tongue in sungchan’s mouth this time, subjecting yourself to the god awful wine and cigarettes that he apparently smoked now. one of sungchan’s hands left your thigh to press into your back. you couldn’t stop yourself from sighing contently feeling him respond to you.

you left sungchan meander around the room holding you up as you explored his mouth like it was the first time again. you were messier than him, letting your tongue swipe over the perimeter of his mouth before sucking on his bottom lip. sungchan let you, and he closed his eyes as he reached out a blind hand to find a surface to set you down on.

he settled for the area right night to the television. when sungchan’s hand found the surface he carelessly swiped his hand over the top, causing whatever rested on it to fall to the ground. both of you heard things from your bag thud against the carpet, but neither of you could be bothered. you were worried about getting sungchan undressed. while he slotted himself between your legs you pushed his long tweed coat off his shoulders. you were impatiently reaching for the bottom of his shirt before it could even hit the ground. sungchan pulled at the collar of his shirt before pulling it off completely. you let out another heavy sigh at his toned body.

you tried to block out the images of him flaunting his body around onstage just to hear the shrill cries of his audiences. none of them had the luxury to see sungchan like you did. you let your nails graze up his abs, but before you could reach his chest sungchan clasped a single hand over both of your wrists. you winced from the pain and let out a tiny sound from the shock. he was unfazed ass he kept both of your hands restricted to once side of your body.

sungchan didn’t respond to your furrowed eyebrows or your pouting lips. he only continued staring at you as his other hand creeped up your leg. you stopped trying to fight against his grip and spread your legs further when he made it to your underwear. he watched your eyebrows furrow even more as you subconsciously brought your lip between your teeth. he could tell you wanted him to draw out the pleasure, to tease you and maybe eat you out like he always used to. but sungchan was slowly getting used to treating you the way you deserved, even while giving you what you wanted. so instead of drawing shapes on your thigh or getting down on his knees he pushed past your underwear and stuck two fingers into your clenching hole. the sudden intrusion made you mewl and arch your back further. you felt sungchan stiffen from your abrupt and loud sound.

“be quiet.” he said sternly.

he pushed out an okay by plunging a third finger into your pussy. sungchan crooked his fingers and hit that spot you had been trying to reach for years. you had to bite your lip to keep quiet, the only chance you got to make a sound was when you leaned your head into sungchan’s chest. you let tiny sounds out against his skin, drowned out by the lewd sound of sungchan’s fingers interacting with your slick. when he picked up the pace the sound only got louder. you had to grip the edges of the surface you sat on to offset the sounds you so badly wanted to make.

“such a mess already,” sungchan’s hand tightened around your wrists as he focused bending his fingers inside of you. “how long were you waiting for this?” he asked sarcastically.

“so long.” you whined against his chest.

you were pathetically squirming from the pleasure as you continued to take it. you couldn’t bring yourself from sungchan’s chest to look him in the eyes, you were nowhere near strong enough. you could only press your face deeper into his solid chest as drool slipped past your lips.

“you gonna cum?” sungchan asked.

when you felt yourself hurtling towards an orgasm you started shaking your head against his chest quickly. sungchan first thought you were asking for more and started using the bottom of his palm to rub into your clit. he realized quickly that was too much, and you started pushing away from his hand by scooting backwards.

“what’s wrong?” sungchan asked.

his eyebrows were knitted in confusion as you weakly brought your head up from his chest. you sniffled and fought against his grip on you again. sungchan let you go as you tried composing yourself. he watched your shaky hands reach behind your back to pull the zipper of your dress down. you looked behind sungchan and he followed your gaze to his neatly made bed.

when he looked back at you you had the top half of your dress pulled down and your bra laying crumpled next to you. you got down from your temporary perch and let your dress fall to your feet. left in just your underwear and all of your glory you looked up to him.

“i need everything.”

sungchan wasted no time heeding your request. you were off the ground again in seconds, only this time you were thrown on the bed. you were a rag doll on top of the bed for a moment, your limbs still loose from the relief sungchan was giving you moments prior.

you only sat up slightly as sungchan stalked towards you, hands on the belt of his jeans as he stared you up and down. he pulled off his pants first, and you could hear the clatter of his belt buckle as he lifted his feet from the denim. he walked to the edge of the bed, looking down at your body already becoming littered with incoming bruises. how you managed to look like the victim was equal parts enticing and maddening. sungchan remembered the way the cab driver looked at you, silently asking if you were alright. sungchan quelled his frustrations by palming the back of your head and pushing your face towards his clothed dick. he was disgusted that you didn’t resist, in fact you only pressed your face further into the fabric of sungchans’ boxers. he felt his hair stand on end when he you took in a deep breath and close your eyes contently. he didn’t bother hiding his disgust when you opened your eyes to look at him.

“this is everything?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

you nodded quickly, moving towards the center of the bed to situate yourself on the white sheets. once you found your spot you slowly shimmied out of your panties while you looked to sungchan’s boxers expectantly.

slowly his hands went underneath the waistband of his pants and started working them down. he was slow, following down his small happy trail before stopping completely. this seemed to be the only torturing you responded to, because a whiny noise slipped past your swollen lips once sungchan stopped. you realized you made a mistake and bit your lip immediately afterwards, trying to find a calm expression that matched his.

sungchan continued dragging his boxers down, letting his dick catch on the elastic of the waistband so it bobbed after being freed. his dick was heavy and already leaking with precum. sungchan felt himself harden and twitch at your burning stare.

“flip over.” sungchan put his knee on the bed. “on your stomach.”

still looking at his dick you laid down and got on your stomach in one smooth motion. you perked your ass as far as it would go when you felt sungchan’s body weight cause a dip in the bed on both sides of your legs. he propped himself up by his hands on either side of your shoulder and you felt his heavy dick rest on the swell of your ass. you gasped from the feeling and found a deeper arch in attempt to chase the warmth. sungchan moved a hand to your ass to get you in place, and you sighed once before following the order of his hand.

you felt the same hand go to grab the base of his dick and slapped it on the same place his hand was previously. you pressed your face into the mattress, trying to calm your heart that was thudding in your chest. sungchan guided his dick lower and lower, letting his tip prod your entrance. you drew in a breath, feeling like you might suffocate yourself against the duvet of sungchan’s hotel bed. you heard a light you leave his lips, cut off by a sudden intake of breath. your heart swelled at the thought of sungchans’ instinct of wanting to check up on you, and it erupted across your body when he slid in all the way.

you lifted your head from the mattress, a pathetic sound caused by the stretch and pleasure leaving your lips. you rocked back against sungchan when he pulled out, messing up his rhythm from your impatience. he left out a curse as he pushed your body into the mattress. one of your hands found sungchan’s wrist as he lowered his body down to yours. you felt the air get pushed out of you for a moment while sungchan experimented with how much of his body weight to lean on you. you wanted him to give you all of it, you wanted to feel the crush and the air get squeezed out of your lungs because of him. you decided you asked for enough when you felt sungchan deep in your stomach again.

“this is everything, right?” sungchan asked, punctuating each word with a thrust.

“right.” you said while nodding.

you pressed the side of your face into the pillow to try and see him. the momentum fucked your body further into the mattress, and you dug your nails into sungchan’s wrist that you held onto for stability. when sungchan finally registered the pain he pulled wrist from your grasp. when you pathetically searched for something to grab sungchan clasped his hand it over the back of yours. his hold was bone crushing. your fingers were poking out straight between the gaps in his fist.

“don’t touch me.” sungchan pressed his body closer to yours, the sweat keeping his chest glued to your back. “just cum for me already.” he said.

anytime you tried to speak, sungchan would grind his hips against your ass. the pressure of his bodyweight was almost suffocating, and each thrust pushed out a gasp of breath from you. sungchan settled even further into you, propping his other arm on his elbow next to your body.

first it was only you slightly moving your face towards his hand. you told yourself you were trying to find a better angle underneath sungchan’s thrusts and to get a better view of him. you tried to follow sungchan’s order of not touching him, you really did—but seeing his fist press in the mattress with his veins bulging from the exertion right next to your face made you reach out to him. you kissed the butt of his palm first, and waited for his reaction. sungchan faltered for a moment, his hips pulling away from you completely. you followed his hips and whined, pulsing around the part of his dick that stayed inside of you.

sungchan pushed your body back down to the mattress with a hard thrust. his skin slapped against yours and you cried out. you were forced to moan and babble around his fingers as he pushed two of his digits in past your parted lips. sungchan rested his face against the back of your head, letting his heavy pants out against your hair and scalp. your hand that wasn’t being held by his fisted the sheets. after sungchan pulled away from your head you could hear him above you laugh.

“you look so pathetic right now.” he sneered.

you continued to suck on his fingers by hallowing your cheeks and moaning. he pressed his fingers deeper into your mouth almost making you gag.

“following me across the world just to get fucked is a new low.” sungchan’s clear words devolved into grunts as he started thrusting into you at a faster pace.

your whole body reacted to sungchan’s jabs. your walls started erratically seizing around his dick and your hand began clawing at the sheets to ground yourself. you even tried clenching your fist that sungchan still held onto. you felt your whole body getting higher and higher, but your peak seemed just out of reach. you needed more, you were missing the final piece to having everything.

you couldn’t put it into words but only through body language. when you felt sungchan looking down at you and his quick grunts fanned your check you started weakly preening the side of your face to his lips.

“please.” you whimpered around his fingers.

you heard him let out a tiny moan above you when he realized what you were asking for. he covered it up with another taunting laugh. he ghosted his lips above the apples of your cheeks and pulled away just to hear you mewl again. your head fell back back down to the mattress.

as the last bit of strength left your body, sungchan’s power increased tenfold. when the last bit of your arch crumbled sungchan took it in stride, bending his legs so yours were pushed up further.

the new angle made you cry out, and you lifted your front off the bed to press your back into sungchan’s chest. you felt his smirk against your neck before he pressed his lips to your clammy skin. his ruts against you were becoming sporadic, and from the tiny bit of affection you felt yourself coming undone. sungchan trailed sloppy kisses from your neck to your cheek, occasionally sucking on your skin and leaving a trail of spit behind. you started pushing your hips back and sucking harder on sungchan’s fingers. in the last moment he pulled them from your mouth and replaced it with his lips. you had to crane your neck uncomfortably and sungchan had to sacrifice fucking into you the way he wanted but it was the last thing you needed.

your body ascended and you started shaking underneath sungchan, he pushed into you one last time before a shudder took over his full body and he let out a shaky moan into your mouth. you were whining in between his kisses, barely able to reciprocate as he kept going.

for a moment you had everything. you were sated and content, you finally felt full and warm after your everlasting hunger. but as you were basking in the glory sungchan abruptly let go of your hand and stopped your jerking hips. he took away the pleasure, and ignored your whine from lose of contact. sungchan’s breath was labored but he still pulled out of you, his dick softening after his orgasm. you wanted him to stay inside like he used to before, and caress your cheeks while telling you how good you felt. you had none of that, sungchan separated his hot body from yours and got up from the bed completely.

you were left in the crater on the mattress while sungchan took groggy steps towards the bathroom.

when the water started running, you realized how nasty you felt. you were still sweaty, your hair felt out of place and everything was sticky. warmth spilled out from between your thighs and you felt the sungchan’s spit dry on your skin. you waited there still, trying to will your worked limbs to move.

sungchan came from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. he had a toothbrush in his mouth and worked vigorously in between him grabbing your clothes and throwing them next to your body. you were cold at the lack of tenderness in his movements. his refusal to look at you made you silent and you finally moved from your place on the mattress to reach for your dress.

sungchan watched you quietly put your clothes back on from his spot beside the bed. he said nothing when you needed him to the most. he didn’t apologize for breaking up with you, he didn’t thank you for nurturing his career, he didn’t ask you to stay. he only looked at you, impatience coming off of him in waves. when you took too long he tapped on his phone to wake it up.

“your cab is waiting outside.” he said evenly.

now it was you who refused to look at sungchan. you started getting dressed faster and climbed off the bed, ignoring the stiffness in your joints. you walked to your coat and put it on quickly, adjusting the way it laid on your body but lifting your shoulders. when you felt sungchan still staring you quickly stuffed your bra and underwear into the pockets and started making your way towards the door.

for the second time that night, sungchan followed closely behind you until you made it to the door. he reached his arm behind you, pulling the door open.

the hallway in front of you was cold and the night waiting for you outside seemed even colder. you hesitated in the entryway of sungchan’s hotel room, praying that he would change his mind and let you back in. his hand on the small of your back didn’t comfort you as he slowly pushed you further out the door.

when in the hallway, you turned around to look back at him. you had to blink to stop the tears from bracketing your vision, but seeing sungchan’s stoic expression caused a single tear to flow freely.

he reached his hand forward, and you thought for a moment sungchan would comfort you. you thought about him squeezing your hand or rubbing the raw skin of your wrist. he only reached forward to the pocket of your jacket and fished around until he felt your balled up underwear. your eyes widened but sungchan still remained stoic as he fisted the fabric and pulled it from your pocket. he leaned on the door and lowered his head until he was eye level with you.

“you better pray i never see you again.”

sungchan slammed the door shut so hard that the momentum made you lean your body back.

you walked down the hallway in shock. your feet dragged behind you, the threat in sungchan’s words rung in your ear. you stared at the pattern of the carpet underneath your feet as you walked towards the elevator. you felt the empty pit in your stomach open up again. in the reflection of the elevators metal doors you watched an uncontrollable smile spread across your face.

#seriez: rock the house #01zfan: sungchan #sungchan smut #riize smut

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