#this is so true it hurts
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You are too invested in how you are perceived
That you cannot fully enjoy living!
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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lamb's family and life timeline i guess idk
#cotl#cult of the lamb#the lamb#my art#the “this is my oc now” is so true it hurts#is actually really fun drawing this because is like playing with dolls lol#anyway if you see typos ... no you didn't#i need to stop drawing these at 5 am ... i can't write at 5 am
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he gives me butterflies.. ( the most beautiful butterflies imaginable )
#cowboy bebop#animation#cowboy bebop fanart#spike spiegel#spike spiegel fanart#fan animation#animators on tumblr#cowboy bebop the movie#knockin on heavens door#see you space cowboy#rameiixo#look at this idiot#beautiful idiot#i love you spike spiegel 🗣️🗣️#ssso much ohh it hurts my heart#beware tumblr compression :(#i havent animated in SO long#there are lots of mistakes but im. content with passing them off as being true to cel/videography mistakes..#im really happy that i could actually finish this though#more bebop to come (`_´)ゞ
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@alicenginger
My favourite Eliot Spencer character trait is Friend-shaped To Children. Nate can't look at children without crying. Sophie is politely baffled at the concept of Humans Who Don't Understand Complicated Psychological Concepts Because They Are Literally 6 Years Old. Hardison has older brother energy, which is to say children are comfortable in his presence but they don't actively seek him out, unless of course to play an epic prank akin to the great tradition of Ring and Ditch or Spell ICUP. Parker will try to protect any child she can, but under-12s without autistic criminal intent don't really connect with her, unless of course they are Traumatized™.
Eliot Spencer is continuously sought out by children of all ages. Traumatized or not? Does not matter. Literally baby or cool teen? Does not matter. They will come up to him while he is glaring daggers or actively planning to murder someone and ask him to hold their hands through the security check at the airport. And you know what? He does. He holds their hand every single time.
#fandoms#leverage#eliot spencer#this is so true it hurts#love it#gray look#life goes on within queue and without queue
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Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.
#ignooore that a5 bonnie doesnt get the nice resolved versions of their discussions with sif.. i still think they can navigate it eventually#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#the dialogue in this kicked my asssss. trying to balance loop's evasiveness and layered meaning...#to spell it out: it's not that loop is actually *that* worried they'll hurt bonnie. it's that they think siffrin is being a fucking idiot#and being extremely sloppy in their protection of their party by trusting them to not be a loose cannon. THEY simply wouldn't#be that irresponsible if it were them!!! hmph!!! ... because they care. and because they maybe Are a little worried.#they don't want that responsibility. they gave that all up. stop making them responsible again. stop stop stop#and as for the other half of the meaning here: get called out idiot. not on purpose of course. bonnie doesn't know (yet).#but it's a brisk reminder of the hypocrisy (since even if loop makes sly reference to their identity to sif all the time... one must wonder#how often it actually sinks in that that's true....? it must be hard to get your head around when you refuse to admit that your habits and#demeanor have changed so drastically since then. like wtf thats not what i would do! clearly a different guy ! faker !! and yet...)#but yeah idk i think about loop and bonnie's relationship a lot. the one party member i dont think loop could ever bring themselves to be#mean to. because cmon. thats a kid. but still... the emotional distance probably stings even worse than usual.#and once bonnie finds out.... ! well. that emotional distance probably stings. even worse. than usual.
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Out of curiosity why do you bow before eating?
"It's a sign of respect."
"When I kill to eat, I know I am taking a life. I do it out of necessity. The creature's life moves to me so that I can survive and prosper. With this gesture, I pay tribute to its sacrifice."
"The bow is also to acknowledge the work of a person who brought the food, to feed me and the others. You're not pressured to do that, but even if the meal isn't to your liking, you would still recognize the effort. Our colony was small, with Hunter as the only adult, so any food brought back was celebrated."
"In my later cycles, the ability to craft explosive spears became incredibly useful for hunting and self-defense. I had a natural advantage, but it was to be exercised with caution."
"Truth is, I can do a lot of damage with my «powers». It's a big, alienating responsibility. And it was an issue in my younger cycles when I couldn't control it well - sometimes people around me would get hurt, but despite that, I was shown kindness and given guidance by my mentor. My adoptive family did not treat me like a freak, and it mattered a lot to me. It still does."
"I feel no need for bloodlust. I am content with my life… for the most part. Whatever grievances I may have, I know it's bad to take it out on others. For the temporary relief it gives, you realize it really is not worth it. To kill for sport, it makes my stomach turn - a sad waste of life. Just because I can, doesn't mean I should. Cruel thoughts are the domain of a scared animal. I don't want to live in suffering because of such fear, and most of all I don't want my family to think less of me. Does that make sense? I wouldn’t want to disappoint them, or lose their trust…"
"When I hunt for food, I often think of what my mentor would say. Those thoughts guide my spears, the memories remind me to be kind in the face of the vast, indifferent world. Most of the creatures out there have it considerably worse than me, trying to survive nature day by day. I've been blessed with a mark, I know things that a typical slugcat would never need in their life. I don't think I can ever go back - knowledge, like my «powers», are both a blessing and a curse. And, dare I say, I think it is better that I have those powers… for I know, at the very least, that I trust myself to use them wisely."
"The bow is a sign of respect, and a gentle reminder of the things that I stand for."
#rain world#rain world oc#rain world au#rw pioneer#rw hunter#slugcat#slugpup#artificer's pups#ask blog#au lore#tagging it as lore cuz this post is kinda important#it was meant to be three times shorter but i got carried away lol#the left half of the second image was meant to show “Marbles as a menace without the guidance of Hunter”#cuz yknow... she wouldn't have known right from wrong#but i think people will read it as lil shit blowing up stuff for fun#which may be true in some way#tbf she was a fairly calm child that needed friends so bad#that whevener she hurt other kids by accident she would bawl her eyes out out of shame#shout-out to opashoo for assistance 👍
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okay but you can see the moment percy's heart shatters into pieces once he learns that grover was also annabeth's protector. because this child grew up watching as his peers chose schoolyard taunts over compassion. watching as his dad chose freedom over fatherhood. watching as his mother chose to protect his life by sacrificing her own. but when his mom dies, he holds onto the notion that at least he's not alone. at least he has grover. but that worldveiw wastes away when he learns that he is, first and foremost, grover's assignment. that he was no one's first choice at all.
#i've been wanting to say this for years#and i finally have the words#and this is no way hate toward percy and grover's friendship#grover really is his best friend and actively chooses him time and time again#but percy doesn't know who to trust or what to think right now#and with his luck#a situation or relationship proven 'too good to be true' is a theme far too common in his life#(also his fatal flaw is loyalty so i just KNOW this had to hurt twice as bad)#okay rant over#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#grover underwood#annabeth chase#percy and grover#hurt percy jackson#percy jackson angst
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Obese woman with a large septum piercing. Many such cases
it’s not large!!! ppl don’t even notice it!!!
but anyways yeah my family were like “nooo don’t get it you’d look like a cow” so i took that as a challenge n went and gained 85lbs
#i got it the day i turned 18 haha but i love it so much okay#so true tho#talk#i have a nose ring that got ripped out of my face today too#didn’t hurt but i’m worried the hole will close and i have no replacement rn :(((#ask
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@broken-pumpkin-l-o-v-e
So now that we need new James Bond I propose they hire Bradley James as Bond and then Colin Morgan as Q.
After that they only need to sit back and watch the tickets being sold to me and other Merthur fans who have already read at least one reincarnation fic where they are secret agents.
You can thank me for the money later.
#fandoms#james bond#00q#merlin#the once and future otp#bradley james#colin morgan#this is so true it hurts
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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It's so interesting how submissive House is to Wilson. In basically every scene where Wilson gives his 2 cents about a case, House without fail (for the most part) follows his opinion. Wilson gives him unsolicited advice and half the time he listens without saying anything, and the other half he argues but ends up listening to him anyway. House starts psychoanalysing Wilson and Wilson does it right back to him and House shuts the fuck up or gives a one line quip back at him (to have the last line) but knows deep down Wilson is right.
For a man of House's stature and how he interacts with Literally Everyone Else, the writers really hammer it into your soul that House only really listens to Wilson and no one else
#i only really started noticing this after the “i am in charge of our relationship” scene and LIKE#ITS TRUE!!! WILSON IS VERY MUCH IN CHARGE#hes wrangling his little scruffy stray kitten and hes doing his best#house cannot be controlled but wilson fucking tries and is the only one who succeeds sometimes#as for things like vicodin#i think house doesnt listen to wilson for that because its a coping mechanism#its his only solace that takes away a deeply traumatic incident that happened to him#it is the only bit of control he has over that incident#and hes not gonna just let go of it#and because he doesnt mind dying a little or a lot sometimes he wont just give it up bc its hurting him#hilson#house md#heph.txt#m super sleepy rn i hope my words make sense#n i hope my text posts arent starting to get annoying bc i have so many thoughts and every time it strikes me it goes on Tumblr
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I think if he's an immortal cosmic deity he should get cool as flarp powers. to be honest.
#WHAT IF HES WAY WAY MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY VILLAIN WHO TRIES TO STOP HIM BUT HE JUST.#NEVER USES HIS POWERS. IN CASE HE HURTS SOMEONE#he's sworn to never use them ever. even for good#because he's seen how power hungry people with power get#in a perfect world season 3 would have wander revealing What he actually is and finally needing to use his true power#to save his friends etc#would be so cool..............#woy#wander over yonder#wander#woy fanart#woy season 3#woy spoilers#OKAY. LAST PERSONAL DESTRESS ART BEFORE COMMISSIONS. PROMISE. I'm very good at this#sorry to keep people waiting!!! but I've finally graduated so I have time to do commissions now!!!#yyayyyyy!!!!#described art#accessible art#woy wander#wander woy#wander fanart#woy art
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"Do me a favor and put your arms around me."
#ocs#original character#npcs#for#masks: a new generation#ruth and tony#antonio salvo#tony salvo#ruth blum#i did psychic damage to myself earlier imagining what their worst argument was like before they got divorced#the really nasty kind of arguments where you know just what to say to hurt someone. and you want to hurt them.#anyway then i needed to draw something cute and nice to soothe my soul#we're good#anyway#when ruth was using tony to get an annoying ex off her back#and tony was there to return a book to her. and just to see her.#tony very unused to physical contact because he thinks his super strength will break everything/anything/anyone so he pushes people away#but then!!#oh yeah#superheroes#true strike#truestrike#masks: overlook#masks: overlook city#thumbs up at overdeveloping npcs so they can properly pass their trauma down to the younger generation#went too long without drawing again and now i must pay the price
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say what you will about Ben Affleck’s Bruce Wayne, he had that swagger. Literally. the man he walks into rooms and he looks like a rich, handsome asshole who knows he’s all of the above and doesn’t give a shit.
#late night thoughts#or maybe I’ve been watching too many camera stabilized bvs edits on tiktok#both might be true#batfleck#Ben affleck#it doesn’t hurt that he’s so fucking y’all#bruce wayne#batman#dc#bvs#batman v superman
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#art tag#gortcas#casim carnarvon#sorry guys proper context some other time maybe idk how to do it right now so no caption it is🤕#the tldr is that Gortash offhandedly talked about how Cas can make him as fat as he pleases but really it wont make him him his#basically that he only allows Cas to have his way but hes still in full control#which is true yes and Cas knows that to an extent but its not something he wants to hear#because Cas very much holds onto the hope that Gortash will be his forever at some point. phsyically#because again. Cas won't ever believe just words he simply is unable to even if Gortash could never love anyone else#at the same time while yes he obviously enjoys the whole weight gain he does not consider his own enjoyment a good reason to do things#Cas is someone that very much disregards his own enjoyment of things as well as his wellbeing#Cas is just pulling away instead of acting mad in an obvious way. hes sticking around but hes not feeding or teasing him about his weight#and Gortash? is now left with not knowing how to fix it since Cas isnt acting as he usually does when hes hurt or mad. hes still there#and day after day passes where he yearns to have it back. practically begging Cas to continue so he can prove his devotion#prove that he mustve been wrong with his comment. that Cas can push his body as far as he wants to and he'll be his in the end#thx for reading my tags guys maybe i can share more about this scene some other time🙂↕️ for now just have the art
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