#this is so stupid. but i just wanted to put it out there. for myself
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gtgbabie0 · 1 day ago
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-Vi x Reader
Synopsis: {The aftermath of the war seems a little more bearable with your girlfriend there by your side}
For my other works my Masterlist is here <3
need her. Enjoy my lovelies 💕
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The weeks after the war seemed to last centuries, the hours dragged on painfully slow and it felt like no matter how early you went to sleep, you could never get enough to carry you throughout the day— not that sleeping was easy anyway.
The council meetings were stressful, with each member bringing a mountain of different problems that were all so important in their own right— change needed to happen and each moment you weren’t actively working was wasted, or so you say.
However the exhaustion was turning you into a mess, Vi could see it as clear as day no matter how many times you put on that sweet smile and promised her you were ‘fine’ with a warm hand against her cheek. You weren’t fine.
Vi knew you would crash and burn sooner or later, and by the looks of you, it would be much sooner than she’d liked.
“Stupid damn thing.” You huff out in anger, hands trembling in a mixture of pain and frustration as you try to open the gauze— the damn plastic concealing it might as well have been superglued together and your hands just won’t steady themselves enough to get a good hold.
You grasp at the edges of the sink basin, giving up, the porcelain cold against your clammy hands. It was a slight relief, but not enough. With a ragged breath, you drop your head slightly to avert your gaze from your reflection in the mirror. You couldn’t take it, between your injured eye and the ache in your head, you felt as if you were teetering on the line of insanity.
“Here, let me.” The sound of Vi’s soft voice ripples through the tension that clouds you, her calloused hand presses against your upper back and you sigh in something akin to relief.
A strange feeling of embarrassment curls around your already weary heart, how long has she been standing there— watching you crumble?
You shake your head stubbornly, “I can do it myself,” you tell her, in faux confidence— trying to convince yourself, biting down on the inside of your bottom lip as you try to regain control.
You take the gauze packet in your hands once more before tugging it open harshly, your elbow collides into the bottle of antiseptic causing it to hit the tiled floor with a bounce. It felt like the universe was testing you, laughing at how you kept failing.
“I know you can, just let me take care of you for once, yeah?” Vi whispers, picking up the antiseptic bottle and placing it down on the countertop— her hand falling from your shoulder blade to rest on the small of your back.
But you were so tightly coiled with your own maelstrom of emotions that you continue to try and push her away, her hand fighting yours in a push and pull. You didn’t want her to see you like this, you were better than this.
“I can do—”
“Stop it, stop. I’m helping you.” She interrupts you with a sternness in her tone that it takes you aback slightly.
You nod reluctantly, caving in with a shaky sigh as you let her turn you around to face her by your hips, your lower back resting up against the sink countertop and she notices the way you avoid her gaze, it hurts her a little.
A silence settles between the pair of you as Vi takes off the gauze that covers your eye— revealing the patch that protected the sensitive wound from possible infection. Her knuckles brush along your cheek so tenderly that you can’t help but lean into her touch, it was almost an instinct at this point.
“It’s ugly,” you state, looking up at her through your eyelashes as you watch her frown in disagreement with your words, a small scoff escaping her lips.
“It’s not— it’s healing, you’re not ugly.” She tells you, a gentle firmness dancing through her tone as she continues to admire you through loving eyes and your shoulders drop— it’d been far too long since you let yourself relax, the ache in between your shoulders could attest to that.
“Besides it adds to your flair.” She adds with a small smirk.
“My flair?” You repeat through a breathy chuckle, rolling your eye as a smile begins to teeter against your lips. It felt good to have her like this, gently stroking your face, standing close to you… it felt good to lean on her for support.
Vi’s own smile widens at the sound of your chuckle, such a sweet noise that sends a wave of comfort through her chest. Even though you were exhausted and in pain, you still managed to make her heart bleed in all the best ways, although if she’s being completely honest it doesn’t take much at all for you to bring that out in her.
“Mhm, yep, it adds a certain charm.” She nods confidently, her fingertips gently grazing along your cheekbone to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“It also makes the easiest things feel impossible, everything just feels off.” You sigh, tilting your head to nuzzle against the roughness of her palm ever so slightly.
A sympathetic look flashes through her pretty eyes, god knows it was true— too many times had she watched you lose your cool over what used to be 'simple things' as you familiarised yourself with the loss of sight. Her heart broke for you, she hated seeing you like this and she hated not being able to do more for you, to just take all your pain away.
“I know baby, I know— but you’re handling it like a champ,” Vi whispers, letting her hand drop from her face to grab a clean gauze pad, her eyes flickering between yours and her hands as she readies the fabric— offering you a small reassuring smile.
With careful fingers she places the gauze over your eye, securing it down with medical tape and she winces as you suck a sharp hiss from your clenched teeth, your eyebrows knitting together in pain— Vi quickly pulls her hands away, not wanting to cause you any more pain with a soft “Sorry, sorry,”— but you’re quick to hold her hands in your own, giving them both a comforting squeeze.
“It’s okay,” you promise her, looking at her with a faint pleading in your gaze— wordlessly begging her to hold you and not let go, to not pull away, and immediately she knows what you want. She could read you like an open book.
So without a modicum of hesitation, she loops her strong arms around your shoulders to bring you close to her body— wrapping you up in a protective hold and you could practically feel the heaviness on your shoulders lessen as you melt into her with a small pitiful noise that makes her heart clench.
“You’re not alone— you don’t have to do this all by yourself, I’m right here.” She seals the promise with a gentle kiss against your hairline before cupping either side of your face, tilting your head backwards slightly so she can meet your gaze.
Vi watches the way your eye flutters close in contentment when she strokes your cheeks with her thumbs— your fingers grasping at the fabric of her tank top almost as if you were afraid she would slip between your fingers.
But lo and behold she doesn’t, she’s standing right in front of you, cupping your face, with such a reverent expression it causes your breath to hitch in your throat and you think you would cry if you had the energy to.
“Vi,” you breathe softly, a sob threatening to spill over your lips which you conceal with a sigh as she bumps her forehead against your own— her hand rests against the side of your neck before slowly slipping to cup the back of your head, fingertips dragging along your scalp soothingly.
“I’ve got you, right here.” She replies in understanding, pressing her lips to your own in a loving kiss— one that dismantles you completely and you’re finally ready to admit you needed sleep and a day of rest… or maybe two, Vi would be there to ensure it.
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violenteconomics · 1 day ago
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so it’s pretty popular in this fandom for the overblotters to have a support group going on, and that’s all well and good and we’ve got a lot of amazing stuff out of it (shameless segue into compelling you to read the “girls in wonderland” series by the lovely jxnebug on ao3, please, it’s awesome), but can you just. like. imagine for a second that everybody else has a support group too, because goodness gracious, do the people who have to witness the overblots need so much therapy.
like. i imagine that it starts off with the first-years and their weekly ramshackle hangouts, and then they all start venting to each other about all the trauma they’ve gone through in the past year, which, thanks to yuu, becomes an unofficial, very unqualified support group.
ace: hey. i’m ace trappola. during my first week at night raven college i had to wear a collar around my neck at all times and didn’t even get to sleep in my dorm, which is probably for the best, because i couldn’t really sleep with that stupid collar anyway. i slaved away making a chestnut tart to apologize to my housewarden with, only to have my apology literally thrown into the trash. and when my best friend tried to stick up for me, they got called stupid and undereducated. and my other upperclassmen just enabled him. i almost got killed twice in that week, and many more times afterwards.
deuce: hello, i’m deuce spade. and i promised myself that i would become the best person i could be for my mom, only to fall short of my own expectations every single time, except for when i literally sign my soul away. i had such high hopes for my housewarden and upperclassmen to guide me to a better future, only to come to the realization that they’re even more flawed than i am. so, basically, there is nobody who can help me now, and i’m doomed to the path i made with my own hands.
jack: this is so unnecessary. jack howl. basically what deuce said, but combine that with the fact that, when you first met, your upperclassmen didn’t have any problems with getting rid of you if it meant their path to victory was assured. your dormmates will never admit that they’re wrong and sooner rip your ear out than say they like you to your face. but you care a lot about them, and deep down, maybe they care a lot about you, too. but the only thing they can do that would prove that in your eyes is improve themselves. become better. be the people you thought they were when you got here. and that is the one thing they will never do.
epel: howdy. my name is epel felmier. my housewarden is all about personal improvement. he’s right to think that i need to rework my thinking about gender and strength, because they are not equal in any way. other than that, though, he has no investment in me as a person. i’m not allowed to eat whatever i want. if he tells me to perform, that’s what i do. if i slip up even a little, he scolds me for being lazy. my posture must be perfect, my diction clear, and my hair flawless. he puts the same pressure on himself to be perfect, so it’s not like he’s a hypocrite. but that’s the thing, isn’t it? he likes me for the things i do — and he hates the person i am.
ortho: hello, world. my name is ortho shroud. not the real one, though. i’m just a poor simulacrum of him that my big brother forged from the flames of his grief and the metal of his self-loathing. but even though idia put his soul into constructing me, i can never truly be the person he wants me to be. my only purpose, and i can’t even do it correctly. for almost my entire life up to this point, idia loved his dead brother more than he loved me, and i just had to be okay with that, because the nature of the STYX organization mean that i didn’t have anybody else. and the one time i tried to change that, i corrupted my brother and almost ended the world.
sebek: greetings. i am sebek zigvolt. i nearly perished recently. the prince that i admired so dearly tried to put everybody to sleep, and in trying to stop him, i very nearly lost a dear friend of mine to the secrets hidden inside his father’s brain. the whole time, i felt distinctly out of place. it was like i was watching one of those soap operas master lilia loves so much. only ever looking. never touching. right before me was a broken family that i only wanted to see come back together, but i couldn’t fix it. for it was not my family to fix. i was helpless. useless. but that is nothing new.
yuu: …hi. i’m yuu. i was ripped out of my home and isekai’d into this world that’s filled with mentally unstable magic people who tried to kill me more than a couple times. i am currently living paycheck-to-paycheck while going to school full-time thanks to a crow who doesn’t know how to adult. and clearly, we all have a lot of work to do.
this goes on for a couple of weeks with just them, but then sebek decides to invite silver, because he’s prolly not doing so hot post-book 7 (and also, silver is basically the freshmen’s official big brother at this point, let’s be real) and then silver invites kalim a few weeks later, who invites ruggie, and then it just sort of snowballs out of control from there.
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kawoala · 1 day ago
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⁝ IWAIZUMI HAJIME 𝜗𝜚 boxer! iwaizumi 𝜗𝜚
ᰔ word count ; 989
ᰔ content warning ; profanity 、 angst 、 boxer! iwaizumi 、 fighting 、 bad people (not explicitly said, but gangsters, mobsters, mafia, etc in mind) 、 regret.
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“what the hell are you doing here?”
a chill runs through your body as the voice floats through the air, miraculously hitting your ears over the noise of the crowd. you don’t want to turn around - you can’t turn around. your feet are cemented to the ground, held there by the pure fear running through your body.
pure fear might be an overstatement. iwaizumi would never hurt you - you know that. he’s really a sweetheart, but you know he’s going to be indescribably angry at you for showing up. this was his one thing.
at the beginning of your relationship, you had both stated your “one thing that the other could not do. obviously, you had said no cheating. you figured that he would say the same, but then he opened a can of worms by saying, “you can’t ever come watch me box.”
you hadn’t even known he was a boxer. sure, he constantly has bruises all over his body, but you assumed it was from working out. the guy was buff.
you take a shaky deep breath, mustering up every bit of courage you have, and turn on your heel. you’re met with a bare chest, glistening in sweat. you stare at it for a moment before tilting your head up to meet his eyes, squeaking quietly when you realize he’s glaring at you.
his face is all messed up - busted lip, bloody nose, a bruise that looks green to be brand new. you frown slightly at the view. you loved watching him fight - watching him win - just a moment ago, but you’ve never liked the aftermath.
“haji!” you breathe out, laughing awkwardly. “before you say anything-” his jaw ticks. “-i’m sorry. i know you told me not to come, but-” you sigh, and wrap your arms around yourself. “you love doing this, and i love you, and i just want to be involved with the things you love. i- i’m sorry.”
he’s still for a moment, eyes still narrowed at you, but his jaw relaxes a bit. eventually, he exhales heavily out of his nose, glancing around before he grabs your arm - careful not to hurt you - and drags you through the crowd. he’s going so fast you barely have time to apologize to the people you run into.
though, judging by the people here, you’re sure they’re used to it by now.
you end up in a room that reminds you of your high schools old locker room - the ones you used to sneak away with hajime to make out in. there are lockers lining it, benches sat in front of each set of lockers. he sets you down on one of the benches and stands in front of you, arms crossed.
and then it’s quiet again.
“hajime-“
“stop,” he cuts you off. “this was my one thing, y/n. i told you not to come here- i shouldn’t have even told you that i did this shit. jesus christ.” he runs a hand through his hair. “you’re so- this was really fucking stupid. do you know how dangerous these people are? you could get killed just for laughing at the wrong thing.”
you look down at your hands and sigh, waiting for him to continue. he doesn’t, though, and it's quiet again for a long moment. he takes a few steps forward, stopping right in front of you. he puts a hand under your chin and lifts your head so that you’re looking at him.
“i love you,” he says quietly, letting out a breath. “i love you and- and i can’t have you showing up here anymore, okay? my handler will-” he stops, pressing his lips together. he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “you can’t come again. promise me, y/n. promise me you won’t come again.”
this time, you press your lips together. you know how much this means to him - you know how much you mean to him. but you’re a grown woman. “why not?” you ask. “i can take care of myself. i- i took care of myself tonight, didn’t i? i’m grown, haji, i can deal with whatever-”
“no, you can’t.” he cuts you off with a firm voice, shaking his head. “these people-” he laughs breathily. “these people are fucking psychopaths.”
“and you’re not?” you inquire, standing up. you barely reach his nose, but the look on your face gets your point across. “what makes you different from all the other people here, hm? what makes you normal compared to these ‘psychopaths’?”
you regret it as soon as the words leave your mouth. a look of hurt flashes across his face for a millisecond, but then his jaw hardens and he furrows his brows. “i’m done with this conversation,” he says, shaking his head. “you’re leaving. now.”
he grabs your arm once more and takes a step, but you pull your arm away. “i’m not leaving, hajime.” your voice shakes as you speak. “i- i know that this was your one thing, but i just wanted-”
“y/n.”
“are you ever gonna let me finish a fucking sentence?” you exclaim, brows raising. “i mean, fuck, hajime. i just wanted to see you fight! i wanted to see you do the one thing you love more than me!”
your voice echoes off the walls of the locker room. once again, it’s quiet - save for the crowd cheering outside. you’re staring at the top of hajime’s head - he’d looked down after you’d stopped yelling. you don’t know what's going through his mind - you feel like you never do.
eventually, you break the silence with a sigh. “just…” you shake your head, hugging your arms around yourself. “i’ll see you at home, okay? drive safe.”
he doesn’t try to stop you as you walk out of the room. he doesn’t follow you as you make your way through the crowd. and he doesn’t come home that night, either.
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allthingsfangirl101 · 2 days ago
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Frozen In Time – Tyler Owens
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Tyler's POV
"Tell me again why we need six cans of dip?" I whined as I followed my best friend through the grocery store aisles.
"Because," she giggled, "your friends inhale anything I put on the refreshment table."
"We don't have to invite them," I shrugged. She stopped the cart and turned toward me.
"You don't want to invite your friends to your party?"
"To be honest, I don't even know why we're having a party, Y/N," I shrugged as I walked past her and started pushing the cart.
"Because you finishing your degree is a big thing," Y/N said as she caught up to me. I bit back my smile when she looped her arms around one of mine. "I'm proud of you, Owens. It's something we should celebrate."
I stopped and turned toward her. "I don't need a party," I said. "I don't need to drink and celebrate with my friends. It would be just as meaningful if it was just you and me with one of our all-night movie nights."
"But you deserve. . ."
"I deserve you, my best friend, celebrating with me."
"Tyler. . ."
Y/N gasped and practically jumped into my arms when alarms rang throughout the store.
"Attention shoppers," the automatic voice rang through the speakers. "There is a tornado nearby. Please follow the nearest employee to the underground storm cellar."
Y/N looked at me with nothing but fear in her eyes. I instantly grabbed her hand and pulled her to the storm cellar. The second we were inside, I moved her as far away from the door as I could and pulled her so we were sitting down.
I looked at her when I felt her shaking next to me. Without a word, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my side. I forced myself to calm down as I heard Y/N take a shaky breath.
"It's okay," I leaned down and whispered in her ear. My heart jumped into my throat when she cuddled more into me. "It's going to be okay, Y/N. We're going to be okay."
"Tyler," she stuttered. "I'm scared."
"I know," I said as I tightened my arms around her. "But we're safe. Okay? We are going to be okay, Y/N. I promise."
Y/N let out a small shriek when the building shook. I instinctively pulled her closer to my chest. I lost track of time as I turned my focus on comforting Y/N.
What felt like ages later, some rescue personnel opened the cellar doors. We numbly filed out, my hand holding Y/N's the entire time. But the second we got outside, Y/N pulled her hand out of mine and walked away.
I wanted nothing more than to run to her, wrap her in my arms, and reassure her that I would never leave her side. But for some stupid reason, I didn't. Instead, I let her walk away.
~ Three Months Later ~
The last couple of months have not been easy. After the storm, I've tried reaching out to Y/N but she hasn't answered. She doesn't text me back or answer my calls, and every voicemail goes unanswered. When I couldn't take her silence anymore, I went to visit her at the bookstore where she works.
"Tyler?" Y/N stuttered when she turned around and noticed me.
"Hey, Y/N," I smiled as I couldn't help but look her up and down.
"What are you doing here?" She asked as she turned and went back to restacking the books.
"It's been a while," I said, lightly. "I wanted to see what you were up to. . . and if you were okay."
"Why wouldn't I be okay?"
I stared at her and could see how tired she was. I sighed as I took a step towards her. "Y/N. . ."
"Y/N," her boss interrupted me, "I need you to go downstairs and grab a box of books."
"Downstairs?" Y/N stuttered. "In the. . ."
"The basement," her boss nodded as she walked away. I watched as Y/N stood frozen.
"Y/N," I said her name gently. "Are you okay? Do you want me to. . ."
"I'm fine," she cut me off. My heart sank as she turned and started heading toward the basement. I watched as she hesitated at the basement door. The second she opened the door, I quickly followed her.
When I started walking down the basement stairs, Y/N was frozen at the bottom. I jogged down the stairs and Y/N was still on the last step.
"Y/N?" I whispered her name. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she stuttered. I went to grab her shoulders but she stepped away. I followed close behind her as she looked for the box her boss wanted. Suddenly, someone walked into the store. Them closing the door made the basement window shake. When it shook, Y/N gasped. I ran to her and instantly grabbed her shoulders.
"It's okay," I whispered as I rubbed her arms. "It was just a customer. It's okay."
We stayed like that for a few minutes, until Y/N calmed down. When she did, she looked over her shoulder and I could see the embarrassment settling in her eyes.
"Y/N," I tried to start again.
"I need to find that box," she said as she gently brushed past me.
As I watched her search for the books, memories of three months ago flooded my brain. I remembered how scared she was. I remembered how tightly she hung on to me. I remembered the relief I felt when the storm passed and I knew that Y/N and I were safe. I remembered the haze in her eyes as we left the basement and got somewhere safe. I remembered the quiver in her voice when she lied and said she was fine. I remembered the feeling in my gut that she wasn't okay when she walked away from me. I remembered the worried feeling getting worse the longer she ignored my calls.
"Y/N, we need to talk about this."
"Talk about what?" She shrugged as she found the box and picked it up.
"The storm."
Those two simple words made Y/N freeze.
"Why. . . Why would. . . Why would we need to talk about that?"
I walked over and took the box out of Y/N's hands. I put it on top of a stack of boxes and turned back toward her. I grabbed her hands and instantly felt how badly they were shaking.
"Y/N, that storm was not a little one," I started to say the thing I've rehearsed too many times. "It was one of the worst storms our town has seen in years. I mean, we were stuck in that basement for almost five hours and. . ."
"I know!" Y/N yelled, cutting me off as she ripped her hands out of mine. She turned away from me and tightened her arms around herself. "You don't need to remind me, Tyler," she continued, her voice breaking. "I haven't stopped thinking about it. How could I? It was the longest four hours and 53 minutes of my life. I have never been more scared, more unsure that I would make it out of there. I have nightmares about it every night.”
"I thought I. . . Didn't I help you?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Of course you did," Y/N said as she quickly turned toward me. "You helped me more than you know, Ty. If you weren't in that basement with me. . . I wouldn't have survived. You always help me."
"Good," I whispered, just now noticing how close we had gotten. My eyes glanced down at her lips, only thinking about what it would feel like to press mine to hers. Y/N sighed as she looked at the box.
"Y/N," I stopped her before she could step away from me. "Promise me that the next time you have a nightmare, you call me."
"I'm not going to call you, Tyler," I sighed. "My nightmares usually wake me up at, like, 3 am."
"I don't care, Y/N," I shook my head. "I want you to call me. No matter what time or how many times, I want you to call me so I can talk you down or come help you."
Y/N studied me as she asked, "You'd really do that? You'd really drive all the way to my apartment at 3 in the morning because of a silly nightmare?"
"It's not a silly nightmare," I said gently. "It's haunting you. And all I want is to help you."
"Tyler. . ." She stuttered.
"Promise me," I pushed. "Please?"
She bit her bottom lip and nodded. The longer I stared at her, the harder it was to hold my confession for another minute.
"Y/N. . ."
"Y/N! Did you find the box?" Her boss yelled.
"Yeah!" Y/N yelled back but her voice slightly cracked. "I found it. Bringing it up now."
"Wait," I said, grabbing her wrist before she could go back upstairs. "There's something I need to do. Something that I have been kicking myself in the ass for not doing sooner."
I heard Y/N gasp as I pulled her into my chest and kissed her. I felt everything slow down and my whole body relaxed as she kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. She moaned as I gently bit her bottom lip. We broke apart, with matching cheeky smiles on our faces.
"Have you really been kicking yourself in the ass for not kissing me sooner?" Y/N asked, a small smirk forming on her face.
"Absolutely," I whispered. "You're my best friend, Y/N, but you mean more to me than you know. And I promise, whatever we face, whether it be a small rainstorm or horrible tornado, I will always keep you safe."
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hikarry · 2 hours ago
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Brother
You have no idea how long it took me to put those on. I was in the store for 40 minutes and the lady asked me "Do you want to try and take them off now?" And I - stupid - said "I'm going to take the risk and do that at home."
Never
Take
The
Bloody
Risk
I was in the bathroom for 1 hour and 8 minutes
I got so frustrated I rubbed my eyes and the lense in my right eye disappeared and I thought it went down the drain and was preparing myself mentally to slam my head against the wall
Turns out it was hidden somewhere in my eye cause I looked and looked and didn't see the damned thing, but then it just popped into place out of nowhere
My eyes after that lil session were red like I had either been crying for 6 hours or like I smoked the greatest joint in existence
Haven't used them since and I'm afraid of the day I feel like taking a selfish without the sunglasses and my brain forces me to put them on, but so is the life of a mentally ill individual
And thank you <3 My hairdresser does indeed perform miracles. Yet to find out if she's an angel or a demon tho
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Hm, guys. Quick update
Remember my Crowley tattoo?
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So, I've been holding myself against dyeing my hair red, cause I knew I would lose my mind, but turns out...
I have the jeans
I have the boots
I have the shirt
I will have the sunglasses on Tuesday
I will have the red hair on Wednesday
I will have the vest on Friday
I will get the yellow snake contact lenses the week after
...I guess Crowley season is officially open
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After Friday, you can officially picture the person behind the screen as a wish version of Fyre Type David Tennant Pokemon
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authorsofghosts · 1 day ago
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He's real! | Horseman!Gambit x Reader | Pt. 3
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Author's Notes: i am so sorry this one is short i just couldn't think of how to continue it without another big plot device that i wanted to save for the next chapter. @genderqueerbarbie777 beta read again :3
Summery: The X-Men come to save you and meet an unfamiliar familiar face.
Themes: ANGST, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Death, Previous Relationship, Betrayal, Cameos, Crying, Cursing, Death, Kidnapping, Panic Attacks (R's), R's a mutant/x-man (no powers described), Violence.
Word Count: 1.2k
first pt , prev pt
You cough as you feel Gambit quickly undo your bindings, letting you move freely as rumble and dust fills the room. You hear voices, besides his, calling out your name. You look at the man with his arms around you, eyes wide with fear, not knowing what's happening.
"Let 'em go, bub." You hear suddenly, looking to see Wolverine come from the smoke. He pauses as he looks at Remy, tilting his head. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Back off, Logan." Remy hisses, making the other man unsheathe his claws.
"What the- Yer not da Cajun. Ya can steal his looks an' voice, but you can't-" Wolverine is cut off as he smells the air, taking a step back.
"Wolverine!" A voice from the smoke, one you recognize as Scott's. "Who are you talking to-" He looks at Remy, hand rising to his visor. "Gambit?"
Your eyes widen as you see the two X-Men in front of you, looking at Gambit as you realize what's going to happen. Gambit grabs his baton with a smirk, "Don't worry, cher, I can handle myself." He extends and spins the rod before holding it at his side.
"Gambit, no!" You yell out, grabbing his by the sleeve of his coat, "P-please, you don't have to fight with Apocalypse!"
Remy looks back at you, his smirk fading as his brow furrows. He doesn't respond as he looks at Scott and Logan, who slowly approach. Gambit backs up, shielding you with his arm as he feels you press against his back. He narrows his eyes at his ex-teammates.
"Remy, you're alive?" Scott asks, his voice breaking slightly as he looks between the two of you. "That's... impossible!" The shaky air of the situation, glancing between all of the people in front of you, you can't help my shiver.
"Gambit!" You and Scott yell out in unison, Remy being sent back with a yellow blast that came from the palm of Mister Sinister. You run over to him and cradle his face in your hands before searching for his pulse point. "Please, please, God, fuck!"
"Don't worry, cher. Gonna take a lot mo' 'an that to knock ol' Gambit down." he says weakly, using his baton to sit up, You press your hand against his chest, holding him down as you continue to make sure he's okay.
"Come on, no, you're not going anywhere." You murmur, eyes looking over him as you spot something a little too late. A terrible, stupid mistake. Gambit cries out in pain as a green, sharp plantlike object goes straight through his chest, your eyes widening as you gasp. "Remy!" You cry, tears streaming down your face.
He grabs your face, barely able to move as he sinks down to the ground, sliding deeper on the hardened, mossy wood. He laughs softly as he looks up at you, eyes wide. "Mon amour, don't cry.... Gambit's bounced b-back from... worse" He talks, blood dripping from his lips and into your palm as you cup his cheek.
You press your forehead against his, shushing him softly as your tears fall down onto his face, "No, no you're not making it out of this.... please, please.... I love you." Your voice shakes as you weep, "Please, don't go, Remy, please..."
"Like you said, petit, I ain't goin' n'where." He laughs, clearly hurting himself as he does. He looks past you as Scott stands above the two of you. "Hey, Scotty boy..."
"Gambit, I-" Cyclops starts, putting his hand over his mouth as he truly takes in the sight. "I'm so sorry-"
"Naw, it's ain't nobody's... fault." Gambit groans, clearly trying to make his last moments slightly more comfortable. His eyes gaze back into yours, his pupils dilating and the red of his irises disappearing. "Don't beat chaself up. It was bound t' happen. This Cajun been kickin' a little too easy lately."
"Don't say that, no, Remy, please." You sob, pulling back and looking at the green, harden wood spear through his chest, trying to figure out what to do. You look up at Scott, eyes bloodshot and vision blurred by the constant flow of tears. "Please, we have to do something, Cyclops! Please-" you grab Scott's legs, "-we gotta keep him alive, please..."
"Remy, please..." You put your arms around him, holding him back, "Come back with us." You whisper softly, your nose planted into his shoulder blade.
"Listen to 'em, ya don't wanna make 'em start crying like last time, Cajun." Logan said, pulling off his mask as he looked at the two of you, taking another step forward.
Gambit's eyes flicked between the two in front of him and then you behind him. He sighed slightly before crackling a smirk. "I mean, you said it yourself, cher. You don't love me." He pushes you, throwing you into Wolverine's arms as he growled slightly. "You loved da old me, and I 'ain't him' huh?"
Cyclops put his fingers back up to his visor as he looked back at Gambit, "Remy-" He starts, quickly being cut off.
"Nope. Wrong number, mon ami." Gambit laughed darkly, "Name's Death." He smirked, running a hand through his silver locks before grabbing a card, lighting it with kinetic energy before throwing towards the feet of you and Wolverine.
"God damn it, not an'ther brainwashed idiot." Logan growls, pulling you away, "Come on, you ain't in no shape t' fight." He picks you up in his arms and slowly start walking backwards, looking between Scoot and gambit. "You got this, Cyke?"
"Yeah, I can handle him. Bring them to safety and head back A.S.A.P."
"Don't gotta tell me twice." He chuckles, slipping into the still dust cloud behind you both, "Jean! Storm!" He yells out, walking towards the hole in the wall where a door used to me. You tense as you realize more of the team are here, whether it be to save you or defeat Apocalypse, you can't believe that they found you so quickly.
Even if it was true you didn't know just how long you were down there, but by the look on everyone's faces when Logan brought you to them told you anything, it was quite a while. Wolverine sets you down next to Jean, who quickly holds you upright, "You alright?"
You nod, watching Wolverine turn back towards the room. "Storm, with me. Jean, take 'em outta hear. It might get ugly."
"No, please!" You call out, reaching for Logan's shoulder, "Don't hurt him! H-he's still in there, I'm just... stupid. I upset him."
Logan's eyes narrow at you before he rolls them, putting his mask back on. "Doesn't matter. That's not Remy, not the 'ne we knew."
"But he is! He remembers everything, he remembers us. All of us, I'm sure. He remembers me, specifically. And, I'm sure he... he cares deep down." You look at Jean, your face filled with as much worry as your voice. You sniffle slightly, "Please... don't kill him."
There was a silence between the X-Men for a few seconds before one sighed. "They're right. Gambit's still, well... himself." Jean said, walking in front of Wolverine. "If anyone can convince him to come back, it's them." She nodded towards you, a soft smile on her lips.
You didn't even have to ask what she meant, and she didn't tell you. You collected yourself before standing between Jean and Logan, looking towards the room where Scott was fighting Gambit, the sounds of cards exploding and lasers hitting walls echoing through the hall. "Let's go before one of them kills the other."
"My bet's on the Cajun"
"Shut the fuck up, Logan."
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morallysuperiorlips · 1 day ago
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Oddly Specific Romance Prompts Vol. 7: Theme Park Date
"I don't feel so good..." "I told you eating three turkey legs before the Tilt-a-Whirl was a bad idea. Here, I got you some water."
"Don't tell me you're scared of Ferris wheels." "I'm not scared of Ferris wheels. I'm scared of heights, which you get on Ferris wheels." "Then I guess I'll have to hold your hand all the way around, huh?"
"I don't care if it's rigged; I will win you that goddamned stuffed animal if it's the last thing I do."
"Will you protect me inside the haunted house?" "No, I fully intend to let the ghosts have you."
"The haunted house is supposed to be scary, so stay close to me." "Aw, are you just looking for an excuse to put your arm around me?"
"I don't know, wooden roller coasters freak me out. It's like they're asking to fall apart." "Well, if this one falls apart while we're on it, we'll go out screaming together. Romantic, right?"
"I-I know it's stupid, but I bought us some matching headbands. Y-you don't have to wear it, I just thought--" "Shut up and give me the stupid headband, cutie."
"Now I see why a lot of people hate theme parks. My feet are killing me." "Then I guess I see a piggyback ride in your future. Hop on."
"You...got me tickets to [theme park name]?" "Yeah. You said you've never been, so I wanted to take you myself."
"The fireworks are so pretty." "I agree. But, I think there's one thing in this park that's prettier." "And that is?" "You."
"Oh my god, I want that roller coaster picture." "No. No you don't." "But you look so cute."
"Winner of the ring toss gets to kiss the loser." "Oh, you're on."
"Dammit, I didn't think it was going to rain. I'm sorry, this was supposed to be a fun day, and--" "Hey. It's okay. I'm still having a great time. And you're here with me, so, bonus."
"These park tickets were a great investment." "You think so?" "Yeah. I've never seen you look so happy, so...worth it."
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jujus-bizarre-blog · 2 days ago
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SOC and CK allegories for the queer characters (and other thoughts)
I was going to make a separate blog to yell about books but I decided to do it here.
I AM NOT DONE CROOKED KINGDOM AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS HAVING ONLY READ HALF THE BOOK SO FAR.
The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia, but SOC and CK are chalk fulllllllll of what I can only see as plots that mimic queer experiences for the queer characters in the main group.
We have four queer characters (that I know of at the moment): Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Kuwei.
So let's start with the obvious, three of the four are Grisha. Obviously not all Grisha are queer, but all the Grisha in the party are. This gives them an automatic plotline of "hide who you are".
It could be said that since Nina is Ravkan she wasn't raised that way, and no, she wasn't. However since leaving Ravka she has been forced to hide for her safety, and not only that but she is frequently told she's "too much" which sounds a lot to me like what some people say about queer people when they think queer people should be less queer. Also Matthias is all about being "traditional" and "proper" and Nina's whole thing is that she is neither. Traditional and proper sound a lottttt like some people's arguments to be homophobic.
Jesper's I think is rather obvious. His father has a clear concern for his son being Grisha since it can put your life at risk. In Jesper's argument with his dad he goes off and asks his dad why did he never let him go to Ravka where he could be himself and learn about himself and his powers. Oh not to mention the fact that him and his dad talk around him being Grisha like it's some sort of virus that can be caught by simply speaking the word.
Kuwei's took a second to hit me but when it did I was like "ah yep, makes sense" and this is probably because it took me a hot second to realize Kuwei was queer. Yeah, apparently him being jealous that Jesper only looked at Wylan a certain way didn't tip me off... ANYWAY THOUGH. Kuwei is also told to hide who he is, but his dad goes the extra length of literally making a drug to help him hide himself. Is it giving anyone else Dorian's dad from Dragon Age vibes??? Blood magic for the gay son???
FINALLY, I will talk about my baby, the character I love more than anything else. Wylan. Here's the thing about Wylan, while I was reading SOC I wasn't sure if homophobia existed in this world yet and I was half convinced that his dad disowned him because gay. While his dad obviously didn't do that, I still think at the end of the day it portrays an experience that is very similar. Wylan is shamed, hidden, and ultimately his dad tries to have him killed, all because he can't read. His dad loathes him over such a stupid reason, especially since Wylan is absolutely brilliant at tons of stuff and the cutest lil guy. But I think it's that hatred of his son over something so trivial that really lends itself to being about something else entirely, Wylan being queer.
All four of our queer characters in the main group have different plots, but ultimately they all circle around the idea of hiding who you are and being ashamed of who you are. That sounds like a very common queer experience if you ask me.
I don't know if this was intentional or just a huge coincidence. As a writer myself I am all too aware of how easily accidental metaphors and symbols can happen. But I think about it a lot as I'm reading so I wanted to shout about it either way. I also have no clue if this is a common idea or not, I just know when I pointed it out to my friends who had read the books prior, one of who loves and reads them yearly, they both kinda went "oh damn, you right," but didn't see it before I mentioned it.
Anyway, if I missed things (or you wanna yell at me about how wrong I am, which is usually the more likely option) I'd love to know thoughts :)
AND BONUS THOUGHTS
This one is super obvious but I just wanna say it. Jesper is ADHD and no one will change my mind in the history of ever. This man cannot sit still, has been described as having limitless energy, and he seeks constant immediate gratification in the form of gambling and adrenalin rushes. COME ON MAN. I know I know, there's a lore reason, something something Grisha not using magic blah blah. No. No. He is ADHD and you cannot tell me otherwise. And I love him dearly.
Also, not a theory or anything but, y'all, I love Wylan so much. I just wanna give him a hug and a lollipop and tell him it's okay. He's so cute.
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skeletinmoss · 2 days ago
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Let's talk about Sanders Sides and why it should end.
Disclaimer: this is my opinion, I don't have any malicious intentions by voicing it, please don't harass me or people working on the show as the result of reading this rant. You can just stop reading if you don't like what I am saying.
Thank you for understanding.
I myself only joined the fandom 3 years ago. Along the years there has been a lot of content and I was captivated immediately. The characters are the main thing of this fandom and I would like to talk about them first.
They started to not be themselves. Maybe it's now that obvious when you watch one new episode every year, but for someone who just showed up and binged it it's quite noticeable.
There is a thing that happens to every character in every long term content (I'm sorry I can't remember how it's called). With time they become parodies of themselves. And as the time goes on they become more and more simple. That can change the character drastically. Someone who was street smart becomes a character that you can't believe is still alive with how stupid they are.
The same thing is starting to happen is Sanders Sides. It's basically a running gag that Logan lost all his whimsy and is gonna snap at any time. This is the example of simplification, what is left of him is only his core elements. Logic, no feeling, smarty pants, facts, jam. However it ties into the story quite well. No one listens to logic. It makes us invested in how this unnoticed before conflict would be resolved.
With Patton it's not the same. He used to be innocent. An adult who doesn't want to grow up. He was relatable. Maybe it's because Thomas is older now, but the innocence in Patton's character started to come of as ignorance. He used to come of as deeper than at first glance, smarter than you give him credit for. Now he just acts stupid. A guy who can set water on fire. A guy who doesn't even try to confront reality. He was supposed to get character development. Where is it?
Virgil started to be more cringe and boring. He's emo and his character trait is to act like an angsty teen. However now it's more of an adult pretending to be a teen. You can most see it in the Jam video where he tries to do skateboard tricks and we can see his boxers sticking out. Why would you do this? He used to be sassy, he used to be arrogant villain who can't get rid of. He got excepted, and despite the Halloween episode about the phases, and him saying " It's still my job to scare you" we don't ever see him do it. He hangs around I guess, but he lost all his bark and bite. All that's left of him is just moody.
Roman likely didn't change that much. His original chaotic nature masks any changes so far. Although I would say Roman lost quite a bit of his drama and sass. Being sick because the ego was bruised, starting a rap battle just to prove a point and show off, singing and " Making the song 10 times better" in his opinion, freaking out because a person he ships Thomas with has called him back. In flirting with social anxiety he does freak out because of the cute guy, which is very Roman, but it's a bit strange that the embodiment of pure creativity would not find words to finish a poem. ( I have my questions with him in the nostalgia episode like playing the instrument poorly even if he showed he can draw a Mona Lisa with crayons, or not allowing Thomas to demonstrate the dance, but I'm just gonna put that under " Possibly Janus pretending to be Roman")
And Remus and Janus wasn't here long enough to start to fall apart. Although I don't think Remus would actually be able to fall apart as a character because of his chaotic nature.
The second thing I want to discuss are sponsorships.
I am happy that Thomas gets the money and has the opportunity to get more. But did he had to put characters into the sponsorship?
The jam one was fun. It was a joke what turned true. A running gag. But it also gave the community something to interact with. Four new jam flavours, characters on the package, limited sets. You could try something your favorite character likes!
There were good sponsorships on Thomas's chanel before. Like Hello Fresh. He did the advertising as himself, not as characters. It wasn't so in your face. And that's how it should be. He wasn't begging for you to buy it. He was simply sharing a good thing he uses. It wasn't loud and obnoxious. Even if it wasn't as entertaining as the jam musical or character jam merch, you still felt like you could buy it. The food looked good!
It's not the same with VPN, now is it? I would not get any character interactions if I buy this thing. So why are the characters involved? Because I like them and it would be easier to sell me something if They tell me to buy it? Why are you so pushy for me to buy it?
We all are waiting for the season finale. Something grand. Something epic. Something to finish the story. But I don't think Thomas should start another season. He would probably be tempted to, because of the new character involved, but that might not be a good decision. I'm not saying he should stop with the Sides altogether. But I feel like short video format would suit the characters better from now on. No big plots, no storylines, just characters interacting with each other in different situations.
Finish it. Put a stop to the story. All good things need to end. Don't drag it out or you will ruin what we love so much about those characters. It would turn into 8 seasons of Winx instead of the planned 3.
Give them their happily ever after.
I hope I'm not coming of as rude, because I don't meat it in a rude way. I just have things that are bothering me that I want to talk about with someone and see if other people think the same
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icarusredwings · 3 days ago
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Once landed, Logan and Wade were gearing up. There was already an entire search party here, dogs, squad, all of them talking, some parts of the woods taped off. It made Logan's hair raise.
"What's wrong? Hank said you did good by killing that kid." Wade tells him, his snow suit bright red, boots, gloves, and some markings black.
"I didn't kill that kid. That's apprently the problem..." he grumbles, his breath looking just as thick as his cigar smoke. He gave a small shake, not used to the blizzard feeling over his nose again. He was retired. Too old for this shit..
"I fucked up, Wade..."
"What do you mean? You smelled something bad so you attacked it. That's 10 out of 10 wolverine-ing right there. If theyre too stupid to see it, thats their problem." He mutters, stopping in his tracks, Noticing the way Logan had stopped in his, death glaring.
"You found Scotty didn't you?" He looks to where Logans daggers are going. "Yup. You did. Well for now lets ignore him and focus on the little girl. And then after we can beat him to a bloody pulp until he apologizes to you."
Logan growls, trudging forward through the snow towards him.
"Hey?? Hello? Earth to Logan?..... peanut?.... Uugghh god you're so fucking stubborn.." He groans, complaining as he follows suit. "Didnt you hear anything I just said? Girl- then kick ass. There's a checklist!"
Logan couldn't hear his husband complaining, beelining for that asshole, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him against a rangers truck. "Give me one damn good reason you drug my ass out here on a PLANE!" He snarls at him, popping the other hands claws out.
"Wolverine! That's enough!" A woman calls, before Scott could even threaten him back.
Turning his head, Logan glared, about to bark a 'What!?' Before seeing her. Standing there, was Ororo, still as beautiful as ever, wrinkles and all. She still was rocking that funky hair cut and she was still (in the snow) wearing those killer boots.
And she. Looked. PISSED.
"Ooh snap- youre in trouble now." Wade mutters, scooting out of frame.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"He-" He tries to explain, but mama bear Ro wasn't having it.
"Ah ah! I don't want to hear it! Let him go."
"But-"
"Now. Logan." Her arms cross, turning to give him that LOOK. She's always had that look. The kind that made unruely little kids behave.. and apprently the Wolverine... even in this old age.
Growling, he lets go of Scott, who drimatically coughs. "What is wrong with you!??"
"You sent a plane on purpose! And-!"
"I said ENOUGH!" Thunder cracks out of nowhere, the sky perfectly clear until now, lightning sparking in the clouds.
The two boys look at her, hell, Even Wade sits down. Right there in the snow. Criss cross apple sauce. ".. Yes ma'am.." he whispers out of instinct.
She gives Wade a look of being pleased with his unquestioned obedience, letting him sigh of relief. "You two. I am TIRED. Of this. Fed up! It has been almost 30 years and you two are STILL having such petty debates! There is a child MISSING and you two rather fight about who has the bigger penis!"
Wade coughs. "Logan- " Only to be shot an instant death glare. "Sorry ma'am, but it's true your honor." He salutes, sitting up straight as Ro rolls her eyes, stepping forward.
"Well do it sometime else!! Because so the godess help you, if this little girl doesn't survive? You will be sorry. Do I make myself clear?"
".. Crystal." Scott says, glaring at logan from the side of his visor, rubbing his neck a bit drimatically.
"Logan?" Her brow raised, tilting her head towards him.
"....Fine! But just know that if she dies... It's his fault." He growls, going quiet as he puts the claws away, crossing his arms.
"Good. Now get to work. I'm keeping it as clear as possible, but it takes a lot of power, so hurry up. We're already past the 48-hour mark..." She says this with a sense of melancholic bite as she turned, her cape flowing over as she walked away.
For a moment the boys were silent, only glaring into each others souls, eyes dark with dislike for one another to th very core.
"....soooo... you guys gonna kiss or what?" Wade asks, being shot two more death glares, making him put his hands up. "Fine fine! Lets go find the kid...sheesh.." Standing, he begins to walk off, towards the officers to see if they had anything for Logan to sniff.
Standing there, tense and still, Logan glared needles into him. If he stared any harder he hoped Scott would burst into flames.
"Logan! Come on!" Wade calls as Logan ignores him.
"... Better get going.... your husband is calling." Scott says, but the tone in his voice implied that Logan was the wife, enforcing a negitive gender association that only pissed Logan off anymore.
Slowly starting to walk off, Logan paused. "Better run along, Slim... Daddys calling... Oh wait.."
He walks away, leaving Scott to grit his teeth, tightening his fist into a ball..
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Thinking about old Worst Wolverine being called by each of the X men individually after they have a falling out because Logan injured a child very badly to the point the only reason they didn't die is because another classmates healing abilities all while he just... walked away.
Well- ran.. away... leaving a child to die. He's tried to explain thousands of times that he blacked out, that he didn't remember doing any of this. He tries to say that maybe it was someone else, that mystique did this shit all the time in his universe.
"Yeah, well!? This isn't your universe! Because the REAL Logan would never do this.." Scott screams at him as Logan leaves the Mansion for the last time. He doesn't come back. He didn't even get to tell his Xkits goodbye. It got to the point where Laura dropped out, taking Gabby with her, wanting nothing to do with the school anymore.
So now, here he is. In Maine, an old fisherman, part-time hunter, and the only people he lets around him have healing factors.
He lives with Wade, who still- by the way- doesn't have any grey hairs (maybe because hes bald but- yk)
One night, while Logan is out, making himself feel useful by feeding the small town they're in, providing for more poor families, feeding their children's hungry mouths and asking nothing in return but respect. (It gets to the point that the children cheer when they see Logan, wanting to hug him, but he growls at them to get off, too afraid of hurting them) Wade finally awnsers the ringing phone.
"What." There's vemon in his tone, but soon his eyes widden, and he frowns.
Walking outside he stands there a moment, knowing Logan can hear him.
He ignores him, looking at the fish, litsening, his breathing slowing as he skewers some with his claws. Its not exactly spear fishing but- close.
"What?" His voice is almost annoyed, as if knowing what his long time Husband was about to ask him.
"Logan.."
"No."
"Logan-"
He shakes his head. "Don't care."
"...She's missing."
He pauses, turning after scraping the dead fish into a bucket. "Who's missing?"
"There's a little girl missing."
"So?"
"Logan!"
"I'm not helping them, Wade. That's final." He growls.
For a moment, Wade frowns, but he didn't learn to obey thy husband like the bible said.
He never did.
"Logan, there's a 6 year old out there. All alone. Cold. Probably going to be eaten by wolves!" He shouts from the back porch, knowing his place enough to stay here and not come near his fish. Even after all these years, Logan was still finicky over his food. "And all because some old fart won't help her!"
The silence thickened as Logan thought about it, the hero side of his brain yelling 'We'll find her!' And the hurt old part of him saying 'That's not my buisness.'
".. You find her then." He compromises.
"I can't! And if anyone knows those Canadian woods, it's you! You said you knew those forests like the back of your hand!" Wade protests. "If I could smell someone through miles of freezing snow, I would. But I can't. So here I am, asking The Wolverine to go do what he does best."
He grunts, glaring. "And that is?"
"Helping a little girl get back to her mommy..." Wade says, knowing that he was sold. He knew he was sold the moment he told him to do it himself. "She doesn't have much time, Logan." He sighs, putting a cherry on top.
The greyed man huffed, grumbling under his breath for a moment. "Who will stay here with the dog?"
"Gabby can! She loves gabs." Gott'em.
"What about Laura? Why can't she find her?"
Shit.
"Logan, Laura has barley been in those woods. You've lived in them for years. So. What will it be. Pull up your panties and go save a little girls life? Or do it anyway when our baby girl gets lost too?"
Logan scoffs, disappointed. "..She wouldn't get lost.."
"She would if the scent kept being blown away.."
Wade adds, seeing the 'god damn it, he's right.' look on the old mans brow.
He lets out a large sigh. "...I don't want any help."
"Oh well too fucking bad bucko, I'm gonna go pack my snow suit!"
"No! I mean... I don’t want any help from THEM.."
"No promises. I'm not letting poor Susie die just because you have a grudge. Now put your fish in the freezer and lets go! They're coming to pick us up-"
"I ain't flying!!" Logan snarls, watching as his lover ran off, having a deep feeling that he would be in the air shortly..
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thephouseplants · 4 months ago
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Dan and Phil cosplay when?1!!1!1
(I'm not expanding this. No)
(i realize these two are twins. but they played gorilla brothers. they can make it work. we'll ignore the implcations.)
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spaciebabie · 28 days ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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3-aem · 8 months ago
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im bored of animal crossing will be drawing gj again will be mental illness-ing once more.
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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shannonsketches · 5 months ago
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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fitzselfships · 2 months ago
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I doodled this real quick since I somehow managed to burn my stomach while putting pasta in a strainer. I'm inflicting this onto my self insert now >:] (Zooble is helping them take care of it <3)
Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni
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