#this is so fucking stupid and silly it hurts/hj

[url0calpr0sh1tt3r]

yk what’s funny . I just realized that the ONLY time I’ve let fiction ever truly affect MY reality…

was with my friends’ goddamn villain oc.

[gr1ef3r-ask-blog]

Pre-Venomshank Gr1ef3r

Post-Venomshank Gr1ef3r

[] HEADCANONS (more or less so you guys have smth to go off of if asking) []

--Pre-Venomshank

: Snarky little shit. /hj

: Usually sarcastic, but he will occasionally be as blunt as possible depending on the situation he finds himself in.

: He has a few pet Gorillas.

: Often found fucking around with the Tree Golems.

: Basically a "cult" leader, as all the followers of the Venomshank see him (And Mayor Thaniyel) as their leader(s).

: Stupid ass biter, he bites people.

-- When Cruel King first visited Turitopolis, Gr1ef3r somehow managed to bite him and escape unscathed. (They still beef over that.)

: He's jealous that his dad managed to pull a fucking king just by being polite and talking over tea. (Gr1ef3r can't pull for shit. L.)

: He knows how to swing from vines, as that is how he usually climbs the giant tree to get to his hideout.

: He isn't often the nicest with his father, and if the king is around, he gets scolded for it.

: He has a harmless addiction to Witches Brew and Bloxy Cola.

: He absolutely hates flowers and lets Mayor Thaniyel take them, usually taking them to him for him to deal with.

: He has a lot of scratches and marks from poison ivy plants, thorns, from ramming into trees face first when swinging on vines, etc.

: He likes to watch things from high places, with incredible eyesight, he can watch from above at any height, his dad always worries that he'll fall.

--He uses this as a technique to spy on people, which is how he usually gets a lot of his information to do/know things before they happen.

: He's an idiot, but a smart idiot.

: Severe anger issues, he also is autistic. (I love autistic people <33 /ooc)

--Post-Venomshank

: He has grown a fondness of his dad, trying to spend more time with them due to suffering from the Venomshank, especially since his dad knows how to handle him when he's in pain or out of control.

: He has started growing flowers in his plant half, instead of getting rid of them, he keeps them or gives them to Mayor Thaniyel to keep.

--He also stopped having the flowers in his hideout be removed, as they make him feel more safe and welcomed due to his current state.

: He can't control when the Bubonic Plant tries to control the body, but he always has a small sense of control no matter what, usually using that control to get to Mayor Thaniyel to avoid further damage.

: He has kept his crowbar, it's one of his few comfort item.

: He has stopped drinking Witches Brew and Bloxy Cola so frequently as it started to exhauste him to drink.

: He continues to do a majority of what he used to, since he finds it fun and helps calm him down.

: He can transform fully into the Bubonic Plant, but he avoids doing it as it would hurt him a lot and would take a lot to revert back to being half way, which is his permenant form.

: His fur is white, which he never shaves, but beneath the fur, his skin had become black as a side effect of the Venomshank.

: He thinks of himself as a monster, not leaving his hideout as much anymore because of it.

: His veins have started to glow green, using vines to hide the cause of it, aka where he has stabbed his leg with the Venomshank.

: He still beefs with Cruel King but does avoid biting him (He still bites) because his bite is a lot more deadly than before.

: Him, Mayor Thaniyel, and Cruel King spend more time together for all of them to get along, mainly Cruel King and Gr1ef3r so that they stop beefing about shit.

: He has picked up new hobbies, many of which are a lot different from what he used to do, he also has reading glasses because he enjoys taking time to himself while recovering.

: His eyesight has gone completely blurry, but he still manages to work around it, occasionally wearing glasses for when he needs it.

: Still silly and autistic.

: He still takes care and plays with his pet Gorillas, quite a good pet owner.

: He had become a lot more self consious about his looks but still tries to fit in, usually avoiding people except for Cruel King, Mayor Thaniyel, and surprisingly, Accountant Jim, they are the few people he is found around, never around anyone else unless he is alone.

--Gr1ef3r had grown a fondness for Accountant Jim because of the time he has spent around them when with Cruel King, and perhaps has grown a few feelings for them, nobody knows this though. (Jim is usually invited along when Cruel King makes a stop at Roadtown to visit Mayor Monty.)

[] tweaking out /ooc []

[eros-sinclair]

Redrew the Lords of hell in their silly human forms for the stupid ass rehab AU. They have to go to court mandated therapy and find out ways to fulfill their needs without hurting people* /hj

Belial gossips, catfishes and generally is the gaslight in GGG(gaslight gatekeepe girlboss)

Azmodan is adjusting best cause he can just hang out and do fuck all with his wife, he has more time to grill.

Baal goes vacationing with his spouse Luthael on Sanctuary, like retired old people going on cruises and shit.

Mephisto is a bitter cunt who of everyone hates this situation the most. Especially since Lilith is technically ruling the burning hells while he can do nothing.

Diablo seems to be finding enrichment somewhere but he’s being shifty about it, refusing to directly answer any questions about what he’s been up to. Or keeping it very vague.

Duriel found out about BDSM and is having fun with his new “friend” who is helping him satisfy his sadomasochistic needs in a non lethal way.

Andariel has taken up writing angsty literature, with encouragement from Auriel she is selling many books.

*no killing/corrupting/ torturing

If you are confused, good.

This is my stupid nonsense AU where in the LOH have no power but still just exist as people now as punishment for their crimes. Lilith and Inarius get a divorce but they alive! Lilith is ruling hell and being chill, Inarius is not allowed to stay in Heaven, they’re still pissed at him but he can visit. Some peeps get revived via soul power bullshit. And the LOH stay with my OC Mirrah in Pandemonium where he is doing research and shit (turned it into his base of operations)

Everyone in my discord wanted Belial in the silly hat so he has the stupid pointy hat <3

[biteforblood]

my favorite lines + details from huxley’s first vid ( contains spoilers + cursing )

him saying “nice” and “sick” and “like” and “bro / dude” a bunch

how he talks. i’m gonna be honest…used to annoy me, but now i love him for it <3

“woah! careful there. you almost just walked right into me. wouldn’t want you to, like…bounce off. hurt yourself.” face first into tits…nice ( as if i’m tall enough to be boob height /hj )

the way he says “wasthat?” like it’s one word

“my name’s huxley. or you can call me hux. or the people on my team call me 69 [ … ] eh, no, that’s not my jersey number, uh…why do you ask?” + hux’s confusion + fl being like ‘nevermind, nothing, moving on!’

the fact hux fails intro. elemental control every semster

how he wants to help, his patience and care and kindness and comfort, how he explains things, him picking up fl’s attempts to avoid the problem

( teaching fl about cores and magic ) “…but, uh— but hey! i mean, like, ya got me, i guess. so uh…that’s okay. uh, i got this” then softer to himself “i think…”

huxley not only drawing in the dirt, but also mentioning earlier how’s he’s gotten in trouble for it and digging holes and him being all like ‘i put it all back, earth elemental, duh’

the whole stick figure thing i love it so much graaaaaahhh!!!

“well, uh…s-so that’s you. [ … ] yeah, uh, the little stick figure.”

“so, you got powers. that’s uh, that’s what those wavy lines are. wavy freelancer powers and shit.” i…love you so much, huxley

“like if we cut the little stick bro open, he’s just gonna have, like…a stick heart and stick lungs and shit.” my favorite fucking bit!!! he’s so stupid and silly!!! /aff + pos

“[ … ] well, yeah, now that we’re talking about cutting him it up, it’s not you anymore, that’d be fucked. nah, stick bro :D” bet kody would do that /hj + neg

him calling fl fancy for saying ‘non-corporeal’ + saying it’s a two dollar word + the way he says it i can’t XD /pos

“oh, shit, yeah, okay, you don’t know what the meridian is, um…well…shit. i-i guess i don’t really know what the meridian is either. ( laughs ) fuck.”

“did the drawing help? [ … ] heh, yeah yeah, ‘m not like an artist or anything.” shush, ya make the best stick figures anyone’s ever made

huxley asking before touching fl ( unlike a certain soggy bitch… )

hux and his big hands hehe :>

him saying fl’s hands feel nice then getting flustered + making sure they’re okay to keep holding hands if they want to then getting flustered again!!! /pos

his righteous as fuck anger towards kody + “water boy’s about to become a fucking underground spring.” get is his ass, hux! get! his! ass! ( love that’s it’s the most replayed part )

then immediately comforting fl, worried he’s scared them, checking in

hux offering to walk them to their car / next class / etc. even if it means skipping a bit of practice

realizing they’re still holding hands graaaaaahhhhhh!!! /pos

calling kody a wet bitch + implying he’s gonna go after him after practice ( heheheh yeeeaaah get his bitchass )

[gaysonlyocean]

boo! if i scare the entire cast one by one what do they do. does adam punch me. ill punch him back im not scared /hj -silly

OLKIJUHGRDETGYHUJIO

adam flinches and then just stares you down for a long ass time without blinking cause hes not normal

both sarah and jonah would punch you, except jonah would probably hurt himself in doing so cause hes never thrown a punch before so he then does that stupid lil dance you do around the room when you hit your hand really hard while going "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR??" sarah Can throw a punch though and stands there going "what the fuck??" at you afterwards

evie will just scream at you and then laugh to try to hide her embarassment at screaming

dave also laughs after screaming but its a genuine laugh, as he screams like the "stop i could have dropped my crossiant" vine

thatcher doesnt scream but he jumps really bad and then he just looks so fucking tired at you and goes "why?" hes fuckign done hes at his limit LKJHGFDFGHJKL

[ambrosialdesire]

Dont worry for rantingg ambro, i get that.

Idk if u want my opinion on ur friends but ive been in ur shoes but most of my friends are in relationships and they still talk to me and even for small stuff like with tiktoks and stuff. They never like leave me hanging with their partners and if they do i know which ones. Trust me Ive been there with the your always single but it is different because its more in an uplifting way because my friends fall hard like horrifically hard over people. Im sorry your friends aren’t treating you very good right now. Especially with the aroace thing because thats a little shitty ngl… especially if they know that u struggle with it. But then again i dont know ur dynamics soo :3

ARCANE IS SOO FUCKING GOOD. I could never play influenced to play League it looks not appealing to me personally.

-🌷

that's good you have amazing friends like that, i think it's just my own perception of the whole thing with that particular group of friends or that i miss what the group was before all the dating but idk i've been hopeful it'll return back to what it was even with the dating, but all those mfs are still in honeymoon phases or something 😒 /hj

NO IT IS SHITTY I WON'T LIE, i'm so sick of hearing "you'll join us soon" or "you just need to be more confident" or "you need to put yourself out there" LIKE NO BRUH, I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON MY STUDYING GRIND AND THE MEN SHOULD BE COMING TO ME ANYWAYS 😒😒 /hj nah but i'm really tired of hearing shit like that and i know sometimes it's jokes, but can any of the conversations be anything but about dating or relationships, like can we talk about stupid silly shit like before ☹️ ik their partners are important to them to maintain contact with and keep up, but what about our friendship too? it's frustrating AND I CAN'T BE EVEN BE ON A CALL WITH ONE OF THEM WHEN WE GAME EVERY FEW MONTHS OR SO WITHOUT HAVING THE PARTNER BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE, LIKE CMON YOU CAN'T STAND EVEN JUST A FEW HOURS OF NOT BEING ON THE PHONE WITH THEM??? and i can really tell when they don't want to keep hanging out with me even when we plan out how long we'll play, so either i cut the hangout short or they do sometimes.

my friends are great, they're very near and dear to me and i will always want what's best for them, but very much recently, i've been feeling real bitter about being left behind; it's kinda making me feel incomplete in a way, something i haven't felt in a while prior to my aromantic identification and i don't wanna like rush to find someone cause i don't want to regret my first relationship and i don't want to hurt that person's feelings once i realize that i rushed a relationship yk? BLAH i hate it LMAO

anyways arcane has such a nice art style ngl, riot fucking EATS with the animation cause the valorant animations are one of my favorites since i used to play that before my laptop's storage couldn't keep up with the updates, ESP when they involve omen. my mains were killjoy (MY ABSOLUTE GOAT), viper, omen, kay/o, fade, skye, and sage. i sucked at the duelists cause i never was good at doing the main confrontations, i enjoyed doing all the background support stuff instead hehe AND i actually tried out league before cause of an old friend, but i never was into the whole gameplay cause i could barely see the character and the whole thing was insanely confusing even with tutorials, so i quit after a day LMAO

ty but i'd rather stick to my open world games, otome games, and fps games with blinding ults and skills 😋

[arthropoid]

you can tell the narrative of being autistic is being told by neurotypicals with a hard on for looking inclusive. being autistic is so normal actually, but it's not i literally don't care about being normal lmao. i love their version of inclusivity is them being let into whatever space so they can tell us about how brave we are for being retards in today's society and how hard they're trying to stop saying retarded oops i mean stupid oops i mean silly. i wasn't fucking allowed to be autistic. my parents would call me a useless retarded bitch because the sound of silverware hitting glass and plates makes me scream and cry about my teeth hurting. and you just get to come flapping your hands in my face because you're so inclusive after you graduated from your pet sped kid in high school /srs /lh /nm /hj

[suresuresureaursure]

Not sure what name you mean, one I’m called by or one I identify as? I guess It’s ‘Jehovah’ for a literal name, ‘God’ for a title and ‘Jesus’ for one I relate to more

Honestly, Lucifer. I’m not a literal introject from the Bible but let’s say, more a hyperfixation on it haha. Me and Lucifer were close, (In any of our sources, honestly) he’s the only one who hasn’t introjected so I miss him.

Same as last one haha.

most people probably wouldnt consider this minor but I do, my morality I guess, my sense of right and wrong.

Hurting people is wrong (pain literally worked differently there haha) Keep being silly

Uhm….this ones obvious, since It’s literally the Christian Bible, there are a ton. Like flat earth, young earth creationism, being gay is wrong, etc etc. I think they’re stupid, but then again It is a book literally made to indoctrinate and control, So it kind of makes me feel like a cult leader haha

My Personality

Uhh, Maybe how I think about things? I had really thought out plans and organizing for how I make decisions, I guess I still have that and technically do think like that still, but I’m not sure they would work in every situation nor are fool proof (I was the literal GOD so I didn’t have to worry about that)

My Favorite color’s white

What’s my favorite color? White! Why? ‘The light was good’ DUMBASS! /hj

Eternal haha, I guess I havent really thought about It, but I dont remember/think about It as If I always existed, more like started and then always continued

not too sure, my job is to be cool I guess! (May not want to answer that question)

Satan! (Most christians reading this are gonna be sho-sho-shoKETH!)

technically I guess It affects me alot because people will take the Bible and try to justify hatred Against me, I mean I’m gay so … But on a level of how much I think about source I would say not so much, sometimes a little!

.

where did number 15 go??? It jumps straight to 16 for me. (Like I chose not to answer 15 because there was no question there???) I am very source connected. Me and cis/source Yahweh are very very broskis 👍 (lol I just realized cisyahweh can also mean like cisgender)

It’s a Religious book So I guess it’s socially Inappropriate to talk about that. How do I feel about that? BULLSHIT!! Ship me and Satan all you want host 😫😩❤️💋

sure! A bit. But I dont really try to align myself to it. Just because we’re the same I guess (tw kinda innapropriate joke?) also 10/10 would fuck him (source me)

what problematic thing?

My autosexual self Couldnt live without em

nothing!!! Im just another au of them ❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶

1: how I feel I should look 2: my thinking process, how I feel I should act 3: my emotions, interests, feelings, personality…4: my sexuality!!! 5: my gender. 6: pretty much everything lol!!……..im a boykisser *insert boykisser png*

Dude was kinda gay and kinda hot but he took that murdering too far 😨😨😨😨

nope!!

I dont.

-Yahweh (from A Headcanon/AU of the christian bible)

Problematic factive ask game

I made a problematic factive ask game

If you don't want to do the game on tumblr, I can find a space within the factspace (the discord) for these to go!

-

1. Do you have an alternate name? What is it?

2. Which of your family members do you miss the most? Why

3. Which of your friends do you miss the most? Why?

4. What's a very minor difference between you and your source

5. What's one thing you and your source would disagree with and one thing you would agree with

6. Are there any conspiracy theories surrounding your source? What? How do you feel about them

7. What's your favorite thing about yourself? Connecting to source or not

8. Do you have a habit that relates to your source in a way people wouldn't understand? Can you explain it?

9. Free space! Ask whatever

10. What's a question you want people to ask you? What's the answer to that question

11. How old are you (alter age)? How does that compare to your age in source? Does it affect your memories?

12. Does your system have roles/jobs? If so, what's yours?

13. Who in the system are you closest with?

14. How does your source affect your day to day?

16. How source connected are you? Are you a postfactive?

17. What's problematic about your source? How do you feel about it

18. Is your source important to who you are? How so or why not?

19. Did you introject before or after the problematic thing happened? Did you introject because of it?

20. How do you feel about doubles

21. What sets you apart from most doubles?

22. What do you have in common with your source?

23. How do you feel about your source

24. Is there any clarification you'd like to make on the relationship between you and your source? (Like, are you actually a mix between your source and something else? Are you your source person fictionalized etc)

25. How do you tell others you're a problematic factive

-

Make sure you clarify any questions you don't want to answer

[awsuntanz]

a ramble about helium chapter 4 (and dakota’s wonderful characterization)

its 4am, forgive me for any mistakes. i’ve never written anything like this before, aha.

All of these quotes are from Chapter 4 of @heytherestilinski‘s fic Helium!

The way Dakota (the author) fleshes out conflict and allows their painfully realistic characterization to shine is so...perfect. I find myself heavily relating to Dream, George, and even Sapnap at times. 

Here are some lines that I didn’t think would stick out to me (but did):

After a quiet moment, to his soaring heart’s approval, George speaks up again.

This entire kitchen scene portrays that feeling of having a conversation with someone who matters to you. Whether it would classify as something important to someone else or not is irrelevant- to you, in that moment, it feels like you’re holding the world. It’s soft, and tender. You don’t want it to fall flat. You don’t want to let it go. (This scene may or may not have encouraged me to say goodnight to a special someone I was thinking of while reading this).

Sapnap dumps the responsibility of the cart back onto Dream. As he walks past him, he says, “You suck at flirting.”

I really enjoyed the stupid banter between Dream and Sapnap at the grocery store. It not only served as some nice comic relief that kept our guard down before the conflict at the end of the chapter, but it’s also something us readers would definitely hear from (and say to) our friends in real life. Good comic relief is something that eases us in naturally and allows us to immerse ourselves and enjoy the moment while maintaining that element of surprise that keeps us interested :)

He turns away from Dream. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Dream may be less controlled in his emotions and impulses, but he is very open in sharing them. George has more of a filter on everything. Controlled. Not wanting to push Dream (or maybe even himself) off the edge.

“You wanted to this morning,” he says, low.

“Yeah, because we were in your house, not the middle of the grocery store.”  

Rejection. Denial. George’s response holds some truth to it, but comes off as a haphazard excuse at the same time. He doesn’t appreciate the way Dream pushes for that direct confrontation and frankness when it comes to approaching their situation (and honestly? Neither would I). 

George halts to face him again, with a half-whisper, “Not exactly the best place to ambush me, Dream.” 

I like the use of the word ambush here because of the strong negative connotation it implies. It’s as if he’s saying that Dream sought out to make him uncomfortable. As if this was pre-planned and intentional, and not another one one of his silly impulses.

Dream stares at him wildly. “I didn’t ambush you. You brought up your expectations, not me.” His voice grows tight. “Are you seriously still going to act like this?”

We’ve had enough of “Dream, why? Dream, no! Dream, quit being an idiot!” from the readers. This time, he takes that blame and tosses it over to George instead. Conflict grows stronger.

“Like I’m—I’m this stumbling idiot who forces you into every bad situation,” he says. “It’s exhausting, and doesn't make me feel good about myself, and—” He runs a trembling hand through his hair. “It’d be nice if you took some responsibility, for once. That’s all.”

God, I’m so guilty of how George does this to Dream. Taking responsibility isn’t very fun when you feel like the other person is constantly making irrational, immature, and as we’ve established earlier, overall impulsive decisions when it comes to what they say and do. We assume that the other person should be able to understand us- We’ve put up with them for all this time, haven’t we?

Realizing that having a mentality like this is toxic and draining to the other person as well is... difficult. It’s difficult to remember that they’re trying, and that they genuinely care about you too. The very same things that make them irritating are what make them a loving and caring person as well. It takes growth from the both of you to learn and understand each other. And growth takes time.

It’s 4AM at the time I’m writing this, and I’m far too tired to quote the entire phone scene, so I’m going to assume you’ve read it. 

A few lines from George:

“Can...can you stay on, for a bit? Can we just talk?”

“Please, Dream.”

“I just want to hear your voice.”

A few lines from Dream:

“George.”

“Stop,” he warned. “Stop that.”

“Don’t say that.”  //  “What is wrong with you?”

“Fuck, George. Why are you doing this to me?”

The reason Dream brings this up is because it highlights a moment where their general character roles in the fic are switched. In this scenario, it highlights a moment of hypocrisy. George is desperate, and vulnerable. The phone call dialogue showcases him doing something that he knows he shouldn’t be doing. “Can we not talk about this? Can we pretend this phone call didn’t happen?”

Now, plenty of ugly nights and long weeks later, he steps closer to George in the grocery aisle as an unconcerned passerby skirts around their cart and conflict.  

I’m not sure why I like this line. It feels like a gentle reminder that in the grand scheme of things, your conflict is small. Insignificant to the rest of the world, mattering to you two and only you two. Makes everything a bit more personal, I guess.

He looms over him, wishing he could melt the bristling anger from his brown eyes, and wishing he had it in himself to be angry, too.

I relate to both sides of this. That gut-wrenching feeling of not being able to find your own anger at someone who is angry at you. The feeling of knowing that your anger is frustrating and hurting someone else, too. Either way, it feels absolutely terrible.

“You called me,” Dream recounts, even though he can tell George remembers it as vividly as he. “You talked to me.” He lets out a short, frustrated breath. “Then you got mad at me the next morning, and iced me out.”

Doing the same thing that you hated the other person for doing, and taking it out on them afterwards. Yeah.

(dakota. dream. can you pls stop calling me out through george i would really really really appreciate it thank u) /hj /lh 

“Because you let it happen,” George says, but he looks more vulnerable than before.

blame game here we go againnnnn

Dream stares down at him. “So it’s all on my shoulders,” he reiterates flatly. “It’s all my responsibility, now?” 

“Yes,” George spits, his sharpness startling them both. He meets Dream's gaze, unwavering, and recollects himself with a deep breath.

 “Yes. Because you made it your responsibility, when you sent me that text.”

George was ready to throw that blame right back into Dream’s face. When I saw that whole scene in Heat Waves, I realized how much I related to George in that particular situation. I knew it would come back, somehow. George wouldn’t be able to let something as huge as that, something that shifted the entire course of their relationship...slide so easily. Even with Dream’s eventual promise to work on himself. The whole time, I was thinking, “He’s too nice. He’s too patient,” and, “I wouldn’t be that nice. I wouldn’t be that patient. Not on the inside, at least.”

And you didn’t fail me. That final jab, although relatable- It hurt.

Now that the screens are off, the distance is gone, and the barriers are thinner than ever before, George’s flaws are becoming more transparent. We start to see other parts of his character that had only been foreshadowed in your previous work. I had no idea how Helium would unfold at the beginning, but I’m now very sure that you did not disappoint.

Seeing how you’ve evolved as a writer in both more subtle and more noticeable ways has been awesome :) I’m excited for the next chapter.

[ughgclden]

a third one??

i’ve got a pretty relaxed day today, so coming and going with responses is easier, downtime more conducive to spending 10/15 minutes writing you another letter, and i apologise in advance for the length of this one

in regards to my friend, she is really sweet, but we seem to have found ourselves in that dynamic when i never know if she’s being gay (platonic) or being Gay (romantic) and i’m already fairly emotionally stunted. house and i are alike on that front /hj

it was nice to be hugged like that, greeted like that, though, a reminder that it’s possible there are some people who do look for me in crowded rooms, even if it’s more likely than not that i’m not there. (incidentally, consider this and every other letter my way of hugging you)

i think if i had to teach mainly basics i would struggle, since i tend to go quickly and get excited, sometimes forgetting brains work differently than mine when it comes to retaining and learning information. i can see your point about the emotional support teacher though, i think there would be a… certain demographic that would be drawn to me, if you catch my drift /hj

i had an english teacher like that, she once gave me extra points on an essay for referencing dead poets society, and even though i don’t have her anymore, i still put her down as a reference, and email her from time to time anyway, she helped me a ton.

i think bookstore bee would be lovely, and it reminds me of aziraphale, which fits with you quite well. plus the best bookshops always have the pretty ladies behind the counters.

as for the other thing, i don’t want to minimise it by saying “it’s okay,” although that is my first impulse, mainly because objectively, it’s not, and because i know if someone said anything like that to someone i cared about i would. definitely get myself into trouble dealing with the bastard with the audacity to hurt my friends. that and i have the same anger for people like that, with the caveat that they can get away with directing it to me. truthfully, i’m used to it, which isn’t ideal, i admit. growing up, i went to a. forced integrated school, bringing in kids from other districts to raise test scores, and as most things turn out to be, the bussed in “smart” kids were mainly white, and the kids who originally lived in the neighbourhood were all hispanic. so naturally, as a hispanic kid from a different district in the gifted program, both sides hated me. i’ve got more than ample experience and that’s what makes it terrible. but i digress

the highs always comes with the lows, but in the words of ben platt, “when you’re high, i’ll take the lows, you can ebb and i can flow,” and i’ll be here to complement you in any way i can for as long as you’ll let me do so.

presenting is definitely scary, i recently had a debate kid ask me, “what’s the point of speaking if you’re not proving anyone wrong?” when i said i wasn’t in debate, but in speech, the sister program. the truth is, the point is telling your truth, even through other peoples’ words. sometimes we can’t find the words, but have no problem finding the memories that make pieces impactful, and true.

i bet in knitted jumpers with a skirt and docs you look lovely, and like someone remus lupin would be good friends with. i gravitate somewhere between remus and sirius, the two gay sides of me constantly battling that one out, so i end up with some… interesting outfits. cruella de ville is a goal, quite honestly, although i suppose technically shes classified as a villain, but then again, i’m a mentally unwell unstraight individual, so villains hot.

bee, if there’s anything i strive to do, it’s make you feel important, because you are, at the very very least, to me. and thats not silly, because believe me the sentiment is shared, thank you for spending time on me, love. i cant say it enough.

you are important, to reiterate, you are good, and kind, and the world could use more people like you. i only hope those lucky enough to experience your physical presence are sensible enough to know what a privilege they have in knowing you.

all of my love, bee, and a million wishes for a good day, good night, sweet dreams, and restful sleep.

until we meet again,

(likely tomorrow)

yours,

✨

please never apologise for the length of these, star. i'd read a whole novel of anything you say

it should me apologising for how terribly late my response is - i'm never much good at writing when i'm tired, or doing anything when i'm tired really. i'm one of those people who completely shuts down, and i wasn't going to torture you with my drowsy ramblings. im however writing this now with a fresh cup of coffee, so let's hope that helps

not knowing the distinction between gay and Gay is the worst; i can sympathise slightly on that front. when i was still figuring shit out i never knew if i just really loved my friend or really Loved my friend - it was all platonic, i know that now, but it was certainly a time. i think i'd always find myself searching for you in a crowded room - you have the sort of energy that draws people to you

you'd certainly draw in that certain demographic, i know it. although i think being the lgbt kids support teacher would be the largest honour bestowed onto a person, and no one else would suit that more perfectly than you. that's so sweet oh my god - i'm not too sure if my teacher had ever watched it, as sadly she never referenced it :( but she was very much a keating for me

i'm glad you know it's certainly not okay and i'm so fucking sorry that there's some ignorant assholes out there who think their stupid close-minded ideas and thoughts are important and need to be voiced, and they're justified in saying that shit. i truly hope things aren't as bad as they once were and if i could, i'd hurt anyone who's ever said that stuff to you (i can't fight, but i'd give it my best shot)

i totally agree with you- not everything has to be to prove a point, or make someone see something the way you do. sometimes it's just to communicate, to tell tales of love and beauty, to tell your own stories and thoughts. sometimes it's nice to talk just for the sake of it.

i think a mix of remus and sirius is wonderful - i aspire to have the sort of energy that sirius black gives off but alas, i'm more of a remus (or even a peter.. but we don't talk about that..) and yes villains are SO HOT OH MY GOD!!! yes they are bad ppl but they are hot and sexy so they can do as they please <3

we could go back and forth about this all day - but thank you lovely. not only do these make me feel important and loved, but they also let me talk about the smaller things, the little things that sometimes seem irrelevant because the world spins a little too fast to focus on the mundane. but even with you, the mundane is something spectacular.

have a lovely day, i hope it's filled with little bits of magic and wonder and joy. all my love star <33