#this is rebloggable for now. do not clown.

[essektheylyss]

It remains wild to me that people approach poll brackets like some kind of moral imperative. "Well this character only won because they're popular/people think they're hot—" yeah, that's pretty much how voting works. "There's no possible way this character is this popular, people must be cheating—" maybe consider that your experiences and perceptions are not universal. "This character should've won on the basis of x, y, and z qualifications—" cool, make an argument and make it fucking count.

Is there any actual reason that losing a poll has meaning to you, or are you just convinced that your fave is entitled to imaginary internet points?

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

why are people so against oliver and ryan talking about buddie, don't we want this, don't we want buddie to be canon? i'm sorry are we rooting for buck to end up with tommy or something, like I don't understand why so many people are saying stop asking them about buddie?

If we want Buddie then shouldn't we be asking buddie questions? I mean I'm so sorry but I'm just very confused, shouldn't we be happy that buddie is getting this much press and love? Why are we against it?

Okay, this is going to be a long one.

There are a few reasons why people are concerned about publications teasing Buddie happening and using the ship name and asking Oliver and Ryan about the ship. I'll try to be as concise as possible.

I would like to note, I'm not going to answer a bunch of questions about this. Other people have answered similar questions plenty of times, if you take a bit to look around 911blr. I'm sure @catdadeddie has gone into this a few times.

However, I understand that we are getting a lot of new fans this season, and so I want to try and explain comprehensively for those who haven't been around. I hope this covers everything.

Whenever a ship is between two people of the same gender as opposed to two people of the opposite gender (I know, I know, but we can't get into the gender spectrum right now just play along with me), everyone involved has to be very, very careful when it comes to talking about that ship ahead of said ship going canon.

It is very easy to slip into something called "queerbaiting." I'm assuming that you and most people online and in fandom by now have heard of this term but just in case: queerbaiting is when a show acts like a queer ship might happen in marketing and promotion in order to draw in a queer audience.

Historically, this was done by having a main character played by a woman have a romantic thing with another woman (flirting, even kissing!) who was a guest star, hinting at the main character's bisexuality/queerness, only for that guest star to never come back and for the show to act like it had never happened. This was done during something called, IIRC, "sweeps week" which was basically an important week for TV viewer ratings in the 90s. It was a way to boost your numbers by drawing in queer viewers with the promise of actual queer rep that then wasn't realized. It's a marketing tactic.

Nowadays the nature of queerbaiting has changed a bit. It's an overused term that frankly people love to (mis)use whenever a ship of theirs doesn't go canon and a show dares to do things like having two people (like say Ryan and Oliver) who play the two halves of the ship do an interview together (whether you ship Buddie or not, they are close friends, and it makes sense that they'd do a few interviews together - that is not queerbaiting). A good example of real queerbaiting is Rizzoli & Isles which, among other things, took out billboards and magazine spreads showing the characters (two women) in suggestively sexual and romantic positions and with slogans hinting that the two had more than just friendship together, then never, ever delivered on it and in fact laughed at the idea of the characters being gay for each other.

(I WAS THERE, GANDALF!!!)

Because of this unfortunate treatment of queer audiences and the (historic) dearth of actual queer characters and queer ships going canon (it's getting better but still), networks, showrunners, and so on have to be very careful when, say, they want to make a queer ship canon.

Look at how ABC handled Chenford, a popular ship in their show The Rookie. Chenford was not a planned ship - the fans adored the chemistry between the two characters (Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford), the writers liked the idea and decided to lean into it, ABC gave the go-ahead, and the ship officially got together and went canon last season. ABC heavily promoted Chenford and the ship and made a lot of jokes about it in the last couple of seasons leading into the ship going canon, using the ship heavily in their marketing.

ABC cannot necessarily do that with Buddie, because even if Buddie is going canon, until that happens, they could get accused of queerbaiting. There's a much bigger minefield to navigate because of this historic misuse of queer audiences and queer characters.

So whenever journalists and publications use a popular non-canonical queer ship name for clicks and fandom interest, if that ship doesn't immediately go canon or if the network/showrunner/etc doesn't say "yeah they're totally gonna kiss! with tongue!" people accuse the show of queerbaiting. This is unfair to the show for two reasons: one, the network is not going to bother sending "shut the fuck up" letters to every single damn publication out there for using a ship name in their headline and talking about a ship - they'll be accused of homophobia and it draws even MORE attention to the issue re: the Barbra Streisand effect (look it up); and two, the people involved in the show are NOT going to spoil the anticipation and surprise by admitting ANY ship is going to go canon before it does.

This is simple marketing - the movie trailer doesn't (or shouldn't, anyway) show you the ending of the movie or everything that happens in it. TV shows want you to tune in every week and speculate and guess. They're not gonna spoil a ship ahead of time.

This means that when journalists and articles pull this shit, they're putting the showrunner, the writers, the actors doing interviews, and the network in a bad situation that they can't really do anything about. Not without causing more mess.

So that's reason number one why a lot of us are annoyed: by yelling about Buddie, these articles and journalists are setting the cast and crew we love up to get yelled at for queerbaiting if Buddie doesn't immediately happen, and there's nothing the cast and crew can do about it, and it's all so the journalists and articles can use us, the fandom, for clicks. So we're also kinda getting used here, and it doesn't feel great.

The second reason we're annoyed about Buddie questions is that it's being asked of the actors who, nine times out of ten, have ZERO CONTROL OVER THE STORYLINES.

Now, there are exceptions. Jennifer Love Hewitt, who plays Maddie, has pushed back on a couple storylines that were given to her and has therefore had a strong hand in shaping Maddie's character. One infamous (in a positive way) example is that Maddie and Eddie were supposed to be an endgame couple. JLH, however, immediately loved the character of Chimney and clicked with Chim's actor Kenneth Choi, so she asked if Maddie could get with Chim instead, feeling he'd be a better fit for her character. And lo, both the beautiful ship Madney and the insanity that is Buddie shipping was born because Buck ended up stepping into that co-parenting-Chris role that Maddie obviously would've originally filled.

However, it should be noted that JLH was an established star before coming onto 9-1-1, and her husband is friends with Tim the showrunner. I would argue that the only other two actors who have any power on their storylines are Peter and Angela, the latter because she can do whatever she wants forever, and the former because (like Angela) he is an executive producer on the show.

It's not that actors never ever get to have a say ever, but the writers, showrunner, and network have much more power. They create the storylines, they make the decisions. Not actors. So when the actors are repeatedly asked about a ship, they're put in an awkward position where they might not even know the full storyline for their character that season and now they need to answer in a way that doesn't reveal any information they do know, but also doesn't insult shippers or dash their hopes. This is a double minefield for queer ships because, again: historic insults to queer fans and characters, nobody wants to be offensive.

The third reason is that this fandom has, historically, treated Tim, Oliver, and others like absolute dogshit over Buddie not going canon. Oliver's left Twitter and taken big social media breaks because of how he was yelled at online. It's not cool, guys. Vent all you want but directing it at the cast and crew isn't okay and maybe if it was just you talking sternly that would be fine (maybe) but when it's dozens of people? It's bullying. Full stop.

Every single time Buddie has not gone canon instantly, the actors and others have gotten verbally abused on social media. Every time the actors have been asked about Buddie and not said "ohmygod yes I want it to happen so bad" (they are not allowed to say this because it might create false hope because again: historical queerbaiting) they've gotten yelled at. We are tired of the actors getting yelled at over something over which they have no control.

The fourth reason is that Oliver, especially, has gotten asked about Buddie a LOT. A lot. The poor man is very tired. He's been cornered about Buddie and asked about it aggressively by certain journalists (one journalist, Max Gao, actually tried to corner Gavin who plays Chris over Buddie - this was a few years ago so Gavin was even younger than he is now and I personally think that is an incredibly unfairly loaded question to give to a child).

If I may dive into speculation for a moment, given how the actors have been SO gleeful about the move to ABC, the fact that they've admitted ABC is letting them do storylines and little moments that FOX wouldn't, and a few other things I won't get into here because this damn thing is long enough already... I suspect FOX would not let Buddie happen. If this is the case, then actors being asked about Buddie is even more loaded because they are being asked questions about it and they can't say "yeah we want to but the network won't let us." THEY WILL GET FIRED FOR THIS.

But, whether or not my speculation is true, the fact remains that when you are repeatedly, over and over, aggressively asked if this fan ship is going to happen or not, you get tired. There's only so many times that someone can give a diplomatic answer before you just want to snap "stop fucking asking me!" Journalists love to take advantage of fandom and social media chatter to get attention for their articles so asking over and over again about Buddie isn't because they genuinely care or think it'll happen, it's to get shippers reading their article, and so bombarding the actors and writers with this question when they've already kinda said their peace a lot about it is frustrating. Just! Leave them alone!

And AGAIN: if this was a M/F ship there could maybe be room for teasing the will-they-won't-they but because of historically bad treatment of queer characters and fans, THEY CANNOT DO THAT. So the only option open to them is to KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. And keeping one's mouth shut and threading that diplomatic needle for years is EXHAUSTING.

We do want Buddie to be canon, nonny, and in my opinion we are going to get it. All this recent PR supports that, (again: in my opinion).

However, we have seen Oliver get bombarded with what he thinks about Buddie until the cows come home, and he deserves a break. There's nothing new he can say, there's nothing new he's allowed to say. We have seen other parts of the fandom scream that we're being queerbaited because Buddie didn't instantly go canon, without any consideration for the fact that a) queerbaiting is a marketing tactic and b) there might be other factors at play preventing it going canon. We have seen journalists take advantage of us, the shippers, in order to get attention, and we have seen them create an awkward and embarrassing atmosphere in interviews by repeatedly asking about the ship. We have seen shippers make us look bad by hounding the cast and crew on social media about Buddie, treating every woman actress who plays a Buck/Eddie love interest like shit (yes, I know about Edy, but she could be a saint and parts of the fandom would still go onto Instagram to call her names), and generally being absolute pills that would tempt any showrunner, actor, or writer to say "y'know what fuck 'em let's not make Buddie canon I'm not rewarding this shitty behavior."

"If we want Buddie then shouldn't we be asking Buddie questions?" No. Not like journalists and fans have been. It's something to bring up - in my opinion - sparingly and with an awareness of how queer storylines and ships and fandom have been mocked, ignored, baited, and so on over the years. They don't ask about Buddie because they give a shit. They ask because they want our clicks for their ad revenue and they want our retweets and likes and comments. And it's certainly not something to bombard the actors with on social media and bitch at them if it doesn't happen. It just makes the rest of fandom look bad and makes us look like children.

Additionally: These are not new questions! They're not only asking these questions now that it looks like Buddie will go canon, with serious hope and consideration based on the marketing and storylines. They've been asking this since season fucking two, when Buddie was clearly not planned, just to get fangirl (gn) clicks. They wanted to get attention and teehee over how Oliver/Ryan/whoever reacted to people thinking Buck and Eddie should touch dicks. 'Kay?

We know the pattern. So when every piece of media is screaming BUDDIE!!! we are not seeing it as "OMG could we go canon?" We see it as another round of being taken advantage of for article attention, another round of parts of the fandom being bullies and yelling about being baited, and another round of the actors being backed into uncomfortable corners.

That's why we're concerned, worried, and annoyed.

*collapses* I hope this covered everything and explained it all.

[zhongrin]

skilled fingers, devious heart

© zhongrin | 2024  ✼  no repost・translations・plagiarism of any kind・ai data mining. rebloggers get a free cup of tea ♡

✼ characters ┈ al haitham

✼ tags ┈ minors dni, fem-bodied reader (reader has a pussy), bratty!reader, manhandling, restraints, orgasm denial/control, edging, brat taming, light degradation, oral, light spanking, overstimulation, hint of c█rr█pt█d!haitham (hence he has his mean moments), aftercare, longfic (3.6k+)

✼ a/n ┈ “let me just draft a quick birthday oneshot for al haitham!” ー meirin, a total clown, circa 2024 /silly ..... anyways, happy birthday to the silliest man in sumeru. i love him dearly and i love that his bday is literally just a day away from my mom and one of my besties. very convenient to remember lol also, happy chinese new year!!! ✨

ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ)  ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)

when you asked your boyfriend what he wanted to do for his birthday, you didn't think he would ask for this. then again, al haitham was mostly an unpredictable man, even to you as his lover. he seemed to have a knack for constantly having you on your toes, always anticipating his next actions and reminding you how much of a complex individual he was despite his simple aspirations in life.

such as now, when he requested you to ‘spread your legs and stay still’.

contrary to him, your answer was - at least in his eyes - predictable. a raise of eyebrows, a fox-like grin tugging on your lips, and al haitham could already hear the smug tone of your voice before you could even spoke the words, “make me.”

the fact that you loved to play a dangerous game with a dangerous man always came back to bite you in the ass, but your boyfriend played his part so well, it kept you coming back for more. he knew just the right way to respond to your challenge that made you shiver with want: muscles flexing as he pinned you down onto your shared bed, your preferred choice of restraints keeping you immobile and indecently spread for his blooming green eyes to observe. his pupils lined with brick reds dilated, the scholar stared at the resulting sight like a museum curator appraising an acclaimed artwork.

despite this, you were a fervent fire ablaze in the face of downpour, “it’s not like you to brute force your way into tackling a problem. was this morning’s session not enough for mister feeble scholar?”

ah. this artwork sure has a feisty personality to it.

al haitham snorted, his arm moving to place a hand on your inner thigh, tracing circles and indescribable patterns, “why do you bother futilely talking back and acting resilient in front of me, when it’s obvious how much power i hold over you? even the brightest students know to learn from their mistakes, so have you not learned from this morning about how powerless you are?”

he would never admit it, but while such display of bullheadedness irritated him when it came from other people, somehow it was almost adorable coming from you.

“wh- i'm not powerless!”

“the facts proved against your favor, however. especially considering how i’ve just succeeded in tossing you onto our bed and holding your body down. i know i could do whatever i wanted with you… and i was right, wasn’t i?” the hand holding your thigh squeezed briefly, his breath slowly caressing your skin the more he leaned closer, “besides, it’s also been proven that you like such treatments.”

you blushed, memories that proved his claims flooding your mind. yet, you huffed and looked away in hope to alleviate the warmth that was starting to bubble on your cheeks.

“so you might be needlessly strong physically, yes, okay, whatever. would you like a gold star for that?”

unfortunately(?) for you, despite the biting words, he didn’t miss the signs of your flustered state. his voice was as leveled as ever as more silken words fell from his lips; the very same ones you wished would just kiss you already, “remember how I pinned your hands above your head? how you tried kicking and wriggling, saying how you ‘can’t’ and yet… we both knew what exactly happened after that, don’t we?”

you felt your core clench at the taunt, throat swallowing at the picture he painted. your legs tugged against the straps as if you wanted to kick him. in turn, all you got back was an amused low chortle.

“cute,” the soft remark almost flew by you, but alas, before you could snap back at him, his touch started to trail further, tracing your labia before spreading the pink folds open with his fingers. an embarrassed squeak by you was followed by a condescending hum by your partner, his eyes zeroing on the slick coating your pretty clit and inner lips that oozed the remnants of your prior lovemaking, “and so mouthwateringly indecent.”

his digits dragged against your dripping cunt, a teasing smirk dancing on his face when a soft noise left your throat in response.

"such a mess," he remarked, infuriatingly nonchalant as if he hadn’t loved you so intensely just a few hours ago, “you were truly, completely cockdrunk last night, weren't you?"

“s-shut up…”

“why should i? you’ve mentioned how much you liked my voice. i doubt your perspectives had changed since then.”

“you don’t know that. maybe i don’t like it anymore,” you countered pettily.

“yet your body seems to arrive at a different conclusion,” the languid lull in his voice couldn’t mask the delight he experienced as he saw your sopping wetness drip with want. your lover smirked, dragging his finger up and down slowly, gathering your slick to circle around your swollen pearl, feathery touches leaving you wanting for more. the way you were shaking, your body twitching from sensitivity in return of his ministrations, was almost as hot as actual sex itself.

“ah… you meanie-” you inhaled sharply as this wicked, wicked man purposefully started rubbing your clit in the way he knew would make you putty in his hands. firm and calculated flicks followed by a finger slipping into your creamy cunt made you keen wantonly, thighs momentarily spreading wider before you found your decorum, rear falling back onto the soft sheets, teeth biting down on your bottom lip.

al haitham watched in fascination as you tried to regain your attitude. he wondered how long that would last this time. you were a puzzle that enthralled him, a chorus he wanted to listen forever. he might not have been studying under kshahrewar back in his younger days, but there was a part of him that wanted to pick you apart and put you back together again.

this was why he was so addicted to you.

he didn’t particularly enjoy doing extra work, but given the reward waiting for him at the end of the road, he determinedly doubled his action; one finger tapping and circling, the other knuckle-deep inside your tight heat, intense and unforgiving.

“fffuck- h-haitham-” the stutter of your needy voice sharpened his smirk, expression hardening into focus as he observed the twitch of your hips and the rivulets of juices coating his appendages. he briefly admired the way your skin glowed in perspiration, the way your fleshy parts rippled as you squirmed under him. no words could properly capture the desire brewing and consuming his whole being at having the privilege to witness such a sight.

he saw your breathing quicken, felt the clenching and unclenching of your walls, the way you started to move your hips as far as the restraints allowed, and your abdomen dipping as you inched nearer and nearer to bliss.

a mean glint of red, and his fingers withdrew quickly.

“wha- ah?”

you blinked and panted, eyes snapping wide as the coil loosened, and your sight settled on al haitham’s smug tilt of his head.

“i told you to stay still.”

“you… you prick! meanie! bastard!”

“that’s not the attitude you should be adapting given the current position of power,” he chided, before his hand deviously dropped back to its previous position, resuming in a much teasingly slower pace; a silent implication of what he could have done but chose not to, ”if you beg nicely, maybe i’ll allow you to cum. but be warned, you’ll be doing it until i am satisfied.”

“-son of a- oh! a-ah-” your words failed you as he added one extra finger into your warmth, prodding just near your favorite spot within the gummy walls, yet never directly.

you knew he could go deeper. he was dangling that carrot over you, and you were tempted to fall for his little game.

“pardon? what was that?” he asked, and if you didn’t see the way the corner of his lips curl up through your bleary eyes, you might have believed that he truly missed your barrages of insults born out of frustration, “would you like to say it louder?”

“archons, you- j-jerk!”

“oh?”

the sudden shift of his touch, turning firmer and faster, made you gasp and whimper, body twitching involuntarily as you felt the sensation build up yet again. your toes curl and your calves tensed, tugging against the harness as your biting words turned into needy moans. a shudder rocked your body, the back of your head digging onto the soft mattress as you felt him mouth on your collarbone, nibbling, tormenting in the most delectable way.

“use your words, darling. you were so smart with them just seconds ago.”

“haa- ngh! j-just let me cum, you unfair little-”

al haitham sighed like a disappointed tutor who had just discovered that his best student had earned an F in their recent exam. the sudden loss of his touch and the way you were forced to come down from that white-hot lines of satisfaction yet again made you cry out, the restraints straining noisily as you tried to buck onto something, anything.

a smirk returned onto his face as he witnessed your verbal and physical protest. that’s right, not yet. this was why he adored your stubbornness. he was going to tease and torment you until you were a total wreck, and then he would give you your reprieve in multitudes.

“how obstinate of you to continue denying your desires even when all outcomes dictate your loss,” the man remarked, palming your soft thighs and enjoying the way they dipped under the pressure of his hands. he was tempted to leave a few reds in the shape of his handprints, but he refrained… for now. that can come later.

“h-haitham….,” you mustered the wettest puppy eyes you could manifest - which wasn’t that hard considering the tears of pleasure already pooling in your eye lines - and blinking though your lashes at him, an adorable pout on your lips.

“what? is something missing to really help you release all of that tension?" he faked an indifferent tone fully meant to provoke.

you groaned, shivering as you felt the cold air brushing your flushed skin and swollen bundle of nerves begging for attention, “al haitham...!” you whined while quivering, eyes blown in desire, your pride refusing to budge any more than this.

the man smirked as your protests weakened with every seconds that ticked, the look of desire and lust in your eyes clearly increasing in intensity the more he reveled in your plight.

"hm?" he leaned forward to whisper in your ear, "still being stubborn?" he moved his middle finger towards the folds of your pussy, dragging it along your indecently leaking entrance and up into your aching clit, swirling slowly and making you shiver in response. even the smallest movements resulted in a sound that showcased how drenched you were, and it was all according to his plans, "are you sure you want to keep playing this game? you know who’s the more patient one in this relationship… you’re all tied up and i’m free to do this all day if i wanted to. i wouldn’t mind — it would be a good way to spend my day off.”

eyes teary, teeth gnawing on your lip, you bucked your hips as his finger touched the swollen nerves directly this time, "s-shut up...! you’re so- ugh! if you’re gonna be so cruel then don’t touch me at all!"

your beloved chuckled, dragging his digits up and down in the same teasing motion, playing with your sensitivity with a touch that sent you teetering to heaven but bordering to hell with how tortuously slow it was. he was a master as you were a slave to pleasure; your moans ramping up into wounded desperation just as he guided you back into the tightrope of lust, spiraling into the ecstasy you so desperately sought. you sobbed and trembled; heart beating loudly in your ears. you were so helplessly pent-up, so deliciously close-

“beg.”

the devil’s voice entered your ears and you grit your teeth. he wouldn’t, right? not for the third time. no, he wasn’t that despicable, he wouldn’t. he’ll give it to you, he’s-

“beg.”

the pressure lightened, and you inhaled sharply.

“please!” the word fell from your lips before you could stop them, “i need- i want…!”

your boyfriend stopped, a trail of your slick followed his appendages’ ascent as he withdrew to appreciate the stream of glistening slick coating your tender pussy and how your hips canted, trying to guilelessly chase his touch, throat singing a needy whine that sounded so beautiful he was almost tempted to keep denying your release for the next hour.

“haitham, please, please!” you sounded so high-pitched and so utterly adorable, he couldn’t help but place a peck on your thigh. tears of relief joined your tears of pleasure as you saw his pleased smile and the way he complied with your begging, though it still wasn’t enough.

“yes? don’t just call my name, darling. elaborate. go on, you can do it,” he carried on with the slow circles around your throbbing clit, fingers barely pumping into your drooling cunt.

“please! i can’t take it anymore…!" you hiccuped, keening, abdomen twitching, so sensitive that the slightest touch was making you toe on the brink of insanity.

al haitham smirked wickedly, watching as your mind and body were losing that self-control, your hips rocking back and forth while your face and eyes colored with pleasure. breathing in disarray, body a quivering mess, he almost wished he had a kamera to immortalize this perverse scene.

“are you asking me to help you release?”

“b-begging! i’m begging you- please let me cum!” you were definitely on the edge, shuddering, legs trying to flail against the tight bondage. a pleased groan rumbled in his throat, and his hand finally reverted into the pace and motions that made you see stars.

“louder,” a command.

“please help me cum!!!”

your muscles tensed as you tasted the precipice of bliss, your lips babbling, chanting his name and a series of undignified pleadings that implored him to not stop this time. you received an approving hum for your clear show of subservience and a soft peck on your cheek that made you moan in appreciation.

“i hope you didn’t forget what i said earlier,” he whispered against your ear, sultry and littered with hidden mischievous intent that you completely missed, too focused on reaching that high with each flick of his wrist and with each pressing prod of his finger—

the expertly placed thrust onto your g-spot was the cause of your crumble into depravity; walls sucking him in as your back arched in your climax. lips open in a silent scream, you missed the adoring look of your lover as he watched you spiral into bliss.

ah, your blissful ignorance is always so, so delicious to see.

before you could even start to wind down from your intense release, the sinful appendages picked up their salacious endeavors once more, three of them stirring your sopping wet mess and massaging your sweet spot relentlessly. al haitham’s mouth latched on your swollen bundle, his tongue flicking and sucking in turn, savoring your sweet taste and basking in your erotic cries that followed.

“can’t! can’t- too much! h-ah-ngh-!”

he ignored your feeble protests in favor of focusing on the task at hand; tongue lapping on the copious juices dribbling out of you as he pumped the slender fingers right onto your sensitive pussy’s weak spot. the sounds of your wetness echoed indecently in the room, a lewd orchestration of sensuality accompanied by your reprehensible babbling.

the second orgasm crashed against your senses and you sobbed, whining and jolting as he helped you ride it to your most satisfaction. eyes rolling, you barely registered the way he lapped at your juices like a man starved, before pulling back to observe the effect of his unholy actions. and he must have seen something, for when your vision cleared from euphoria, he had taken to caress you once again.

“one more. you can give me one more,” the rasp in his voice sent a jolt of desire in your loins, yet at the same time, the overstimulation had started to settle in. this time, the pleasure made your whole body tremor and for once you had no idea if the straps were a blessing or a curse; your limbs flailed and strained, instinctively writhing at the assault of stimulation.

“f-fuck! oh! a-archons- my love, please!!”

“i told you, didn’t i?” he purred, salacious and mocking, a flicker of red and a sneer, “’if you beg nicely, maybe i’ll allow you to cum. but be warned, you’ll be doing it until i am satisfied.’ well, my love, i am not yet satisfied.”

all senses of modesty had been thrown out of the window at this point. a series of disgraceful noises left your throat, tears running down your temples as you stayed rooted to your spot on the bed, oxytocin flooding your brain and numbing your senses. stringing words proved to be difficult when you were oversensitive and your lover seemed determined to see you mindless and utterly ruined by his touches.

if before, you were a helpless traveler stranded on a desert chasing on the mirage of an oasis, this time you felt like you were drowning in an ocean full of pleasure. all senses submerged in the ruthless waves of unbridled desires that made you both paralyzed and set you aflame.

“look at you,” al haitham's words came out harsh despite having a pleased hum to it as he battered your fleshy nub harder, insistent and undeterred by your unconvincing protests. he smirked, pleased with your cries and senseless noises leaving your lips, free from your brain’s usual filtering. your mind and body were already beyond your control as he slowly edged you closer and closer to that sweet release yet again. “so needy for me. gushing endlessly like you’re in heat.”

he watched you writhe and quake, a sliver of drool escaping the side of your opened mouth, his cock straining against the confines of his pants, but oh, he was enjoying every second of it. his free hand palmed your thigh before delivering a light slap, his eyes dilating when it made your breath hitch and your body jerk. each impact brought you to the absolute edge of delirium, and every time the pads of his fingers grind and stretched your gummy walls, the more debauched pleas left your emptied mind.

“c-cumming! cumming! i’m close, love, please! i’m- ah—”

“good,” it was almost sadistic, how he seemed to take so much satisfaction from seeing you so shamefully addicted to his mere fingers, “then come.”

a choked sob and a few insistent taps onto your oversensitive clit took your vision into a realm of whites. your finish was immaculately designed to enrapture you in a burst of nothingness, where nothing else mattered but you and your boyfriend's eloquent expertise. ears ringing, your consciousness temporarily froze in the state of heavenly rapture.

when you came down from the vivid paradise, you found your limbs freed from the restraints, your lover dutifully checking the reddened skin to make sure you hadn’t caused any injuries to yourself. seeing your glazed eyes settling onto his form, he leaned over and stroked your cheek, speaking in a soft voice with a caring tone far too detached from the demeaning and authoritative tone just moments ago.

“you did so well.”

though your senses were totally fried from the overstimulation and you still couldn’t exactly feel your limbs, a loopy grin spread on your lips. soft pair of green eyes watched you in adoration as he tucked you onto his chest, a gentle kiss descending on top of your head as he cradled you within his arms.

“verdict from one to ten?”

“mmmm…. twenty.”

“hm. it appears you’re still more delirious than i judged.”

a playful swat to his side was all you could manage, and you were rewarded with the rare soft laugh of your usually stoic lover.

“you’re adorable.”

“and you’re mean.”

“you speak as if the attitude does not bring you joy.”

“shut up and cuddle me.”

“ordering me around on my birthday? you’re spoiled.”

“and whose fault is that?”

“mine,” al haitham admitted with a smile, silently grateful for your presence, your witty banter, your hardheadedness, your loving eyes, your everything — you, who were undoubtedly and indubitably….

“mine,” he repeated and pressed another kiss, this time to your lips: a silent promise for spending his next birthdays with you once again.

bonus:

“still,” you sighed into his hold as your breathing steadied, looking up at him in half curiosity and half concern, “this doesn’t seem like a birthday present for you.”

al haitham looked down at you, the mischievous glint in his eyes returning. he guided your hand, and your small daydream of him being unusually romantic to initiate hand holding before spewing some cheesy lines like in those light novels were dashed when you found a familiar hardness twitching against your palm.

“bold of you to you think that my appetizer was the main course.”

✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ) ┈ @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @sunnshineflxwer | @yuutasbabe | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @marina-and-the-memes | @mixed-kester | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @sassy-cat-in-town | @syrenkitsune | @smokipoki | @cakeboxie | @crystalflygeo | @ciexuvia | @illaasya | @celestewritestoomuch | @pams-comfortzone | @spidermanluvr444 | @ourstrawberryclouds | @ryuryuryuyurboat | @hrts4hanniehae | @fiannee | @jingyuansbird | @florapocalypses | @genshin-impacts-me | @scarasmood | @hellcatinnc

[orchuris]

genuinely seeing rainworld posts about ‘I can’t love this community anymore’ ‘I can’t post here anymore’ is driving me a little crazy to see While I don’t like engaging in drama I think that whether or not pansear is actually everything the screenshots have claimed (I’m not decided either or yet considering how sketchy either party is being) I think that ‘leaving the entire fandom’ is a bit much. pansear is a singular person. ONE person out of millions enjoying Rain World. Sure their art was popular but for GODS SAKE don’t let it ruin your enjoyment of the funny scug game. Someone else will take their place. Someone else the community idolizes or clowns upon. Hell for all I know it’s someone reading this post right now. Yall put WAY too much effort into drama instead of just focusing on what drew you here in the first place; enjoying what the community had to offer. And despite what some posts ive seen say; the community is STILL HERE. I can look in a thousand places and see the community I love, the shitposting, yuri-making, crazyass (/aff) artists, meme-makers, writers, animators, rebloggers- *you get the point.* I’m not saying that if someone did something truly disgusting, they should be forgiven immediately. That’s hardly true- and if it turns out someone is as horrible a person as the claims say, then. Do with that what you will. But please, for your own happiness. *Don’t throw away something you love over someone else’s bullshit.* Thanks for reading.

[nsyncat]

OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

[diaphin93]

Damn, thats racist Episode V: M'Lady Bübche knibbelt Retour

You all now, I originally I didn't reblogg because I wanted to comment without engaging in an argument with some reddit coded white knight, who makes his entire identity being obsessively hateful towards the only queer and only female Lord of the game whose entire deal is wanting to abolish feudalism and divine rule.

Now on the other hand, I'm doing it because it became instantly super fun, knowing that it obviously pisses him off. Also I'm doing him a favor by not doing that on Twitter. Like, I had my fair share of over the top edgy takes and bad jokes here on Tumblr, after which I took a pause from it and now decided to make this the site where I'm on my good behavior. I'm a good girl now here. Twitter on the other hand? Ever since Elon took it over, I really don't give a shit about my account there, so thats where I go all out with little fucks to spare, so I really would have gone all out with the M'Lady Fedora chud jokes. It would have been super funny.

And yeah, I don't believe his fake moral outrage, thats literally after I told him how shitty the implications of him justifying Faerghus stealing all the fertile lands of Sreng and forcing them into a frozen desert were, especially in our current day and age. Should I have done it? In retrospect probably not immediately, but he really doubles down and decides tha thet validity of faerghian colonialism, because Faerghus has a right to defend itself, is the hill he wants to die on.

Also he is still all about how brown people lie about racism in his video games, because there is no way that a medieval catholic coded church lead by whiter than white dragon people who view humanity in its entirety as inheritly lesser creatures could ever be xenophobic, lol.

Finally, I still don't know what this deal with this Moonlitboar person was, the only thing I know is that he allegedly said something shitty, got backlash and pissed off afterwards? While...you know...meanwhile Edelgard fans constantly receive targeted harassment, like a fanfiction author being bullied off of social media and even a fanartist getting harassed during a convention recently, and there is constant bait and harassment post in the Edelgard positive tag, not to forget this guy tagging Edelgard even when his posts don't have anything to do with her.

All in all, I get the slight suspicion that this guy is not just a clown. He is the entire Margrave Matthias Raoul Gautier.

[askshivanulegacy]

Totally agree with all of the above. At the same time there are distinctly blended nuances to the Tumblr format that people on both sides of this really fail to conceptualize properly.

Your blog on Tumblr is your blog. It's your personal journal. You get to say whatever you want however you want. This is always true.

It's also true that your post is public. Anything you post in public invites interaction. This is also always true. Not everyone "knows" the (mythical and fake) Tumblr style of etiquette. They can and will interact with your post in any way the site allows. Your post is presented as random content on people's dashboards, which does even more to invite interaction (i.e., people aren't going out of their way to find you; your post is delivered on a silver platter). Don't post things you don't want your worst enemy to see and interact with.

People make opinion posts that are stated as fact. They have the freedom and right to do this, but it doesn't help them out if they don't want people to "well, actually" them. They get upset when they get interaction, despite knowing that they posted on the interaction platform in the first place.

Tumblr gives you two main interaction formats. Replies feel much more direct, like you're speaking to OP one-on-one. Traditional "etiquette" (which isn't real, remember) says that you don't use replies unless this is what you intend. But people end up using replies for any old thought dump, without considering how it comes across.

Reblogs are "traditionally" seen as you making the post your own. You have something to say about it, you are NOT directly speaking to OP unless you @ them, and you are speaking indirectly to your own followers or just speaking thoughts into the void. The post now resides on your blog, so it's effectively yours. This is a more considerate way of expressing your thoughts. It's true that sometimes it spawns "discussions" between you and OP, which can be fine. However, too many people mistakenly think that rebloggers have no business "writing on their posts," especially when they disagree. This is not true! The post on their blog now belongs to them and they can say anything at all.

Tags are the secret third interaction, which "etiquette" (fake lol) says is the equivalent of you whispering your thoughts exclusively to your followers. You can pick out someone's tags to highlight and agree with them and this is a coveted Tumblr achievement. But heaven help the person who tries to pick a fight with you over these secret thoughts, because they are a fool deserving of ridicule.

All this is to say: yeah Tumblr peeps need to do better in how they express their commentary and the method they use to express it. The methods are NOT equal. And sometimes it's just better to not comment at all and let the dash scroll by. But also, original posters need to do better understanding that they invite commentary with everything they post. Some things are probably better not being posted at all.

The rule that trumps all of this is that all of Tumblr etiquette is fake! Everything you think is "right" and "proper" is wrong. Nobody has agreed to any kind of interaction format and they're free to use any tool at their fingertips. You can school someone on "proper" use, especially when they clown on "your" post, but you are no more correct than they are.

Which is either hilarious or maddening, but here we are, lol.

there are no hard rules for human interaction but honestly i think everyone online would benefit hugely from operating under the assumption that, unless you have been given a specific reason to think otherwise in discrete instances, internet strangers do not want to be approached with:

your trauma, illnesses, or deep-rooted self worth issues

any come-ons or sexual content

over-familiar playful rudeness

information about your dnd characters/ocs

disagreements with their harmless subjective opinions

if it is your first time speaking with someone i can not highly enough recommend that these do not be your opening topics

[lockedtowers]

im supposed to be getting ready for work so heres some run ons

aka brina rambles, also this is not rebloggable for a reason. this is shit ive worked on for ages. across blogs i have deleted and everything. i dont want random ppl rbing it without permission and taking info and i want it set up so if the info is taken it can still be traced back here. esp with how long ive been deciding on names for those courts lmao. they’re not the most ingenius or anything but i still put work into it yknow.

so anyways basically cassies bio dad vas is ofc a full blood fae, and a hybrid of the two main ‘courts’ by wonderland standards bc ofc im going with the basis that is shown both in syfy canon and ouat canon of wonderland denizens have a very different physiology to other realms, Jefferson in ouat remembered everything in his original life and just had the new memories shoved into his head too which drove him upending, i write that into cassie she has her old memories because of her physiology but the new memories didnt really settle in her head at all, so she only has vague understanding of it all. her twin brother has all his old memories but he also has the new ones so he very much so leans into the ‘im gonna fuck around and see what happens cause this is great’ bc hes a clown, but anyways. and yes i play it as jefferson is from wonderland, i write my jeffy on my sideblog, i also write grace, ima do what i want, but abc kept going back and forth with it, they mention his home in ouatiw but then in ouat they imply hes not from there so they didnt give a shit either, i can do what i want

but again main point, there’s no reason why other realms faeries would have the same physiology as wonderland faeries would, and ive played it into threads too before, the general descriptions of cheshire cats generally lean heavily faerie like, cassie is the cheshire while her twin brother is the dormouse, in syfy verse those are more titles than actual being. but shes a faerie she has an animal transformation which makes that also an actual being, and while her title is generally just ‘cat’ to most people, she is aligned with and technically a cheshire cat, she has the grin they associate with cheshires and she often times acts as a sort of guide, but also a very annoying pot stirrer in multiple ways, and a main thing that i play on a lot is how she guides ‘oysters’ aka humans to hatter, which is something people dont bring up a lot. in aaiw the cheshire cat is essentially toying with alice and leading her on to where she should go, and while alice is following the rabbit, the cat is manipulating the system in its own way as well. im actually gonna go buy another crappy edition of aaiw just so i can annoyingly tab it and stuff and im debating a cruddy paper one or a good hardcover— anyways

so like obviously creative liberties here, faeries arent really canon to wonderland at all but like fair folk magical aspects are still present, like the pig turning into a baby and shit, all the wildcarding that happens. creative liberties, its free media now to do whatever the fuck you want. i know many people hate adaptions and im sorry they hate fun im gonna do what i want.

now most commonly people separate fae by seelie and unseelie, or ‘good and bad’ faeries is often how they describe seelie and unseelie. and whilst im sort of doing similar (but giving them new names bc again, wonderland is not the human land, theres no reason that they have to have the same names) im also adding to it, adapting it, etc etc. Even in the separate courts, there are subtypes, but the royal families of each court would have at least a basic gift with all the powers of the subtypes, which is essentially why they’re the ‘royal family’ despite their own powers being so much weaker than an individual only showcasing one subtype of magic. more equals greater, despite the obvious issues with that, more or less.

The two ‘courts’ or ‘good and bad’ as the ‘good’ would have one believe, the current names i have going for them would essentially be translated to Deyreins, the ‘good’, and Bludveils, the ‘bad’ (i still have to fix the spelling on my bios on the sideblog tho lol). Bludveils centuries ago were cursed by the Deyreins to an eternal binding of honesty, which means they have to be truthful in words, but they can use twist the truth through twisting and confusing tales, purposefully manipulating it to sound like something else while theyre still being truthful, and basically just using loopholes to get their way. And the results of that curse is used against them to frame them as massively villainous, cruel, and evil creatures. What the Deyreins did not count on was the Queen of Hearts using this to further her own gain, and villainizing both sides as a way to essentially wipe them out from the face of Wonderland. Those that are left on Wonderlands main plane hide their species, and the rest had to escape to an astral plane to protect themselves from her.

But a large portion already had to escape because of Cassie’s father. Most will only recognize him by one of two names, the White Knight who destroyed the house of black and gave reign to the Reds and Whites, or as the monster, the creature of everyones darkest fears, the creature accused of slaughtering villages for fun and embarking on chaotic destruction for the thrill, The Jabberwock. By all accounts, he is both. His animal transformation is the monster itself and he was always the one taking the head, but never the one given the crown. Which is ironic given his existence is due to a romantic tryst between a noble of the Deyrein court and a royal of the Bludveil court. The twins didn’t get equal parts of the bloodlines the way he did, Cassandra inherited a lot more Bludveil than Deyrein, the curse affects her too, but Mason got almost nothing from it. It’s recessive in his body, but the curse doesn’t act on him. he has nothing to worry about, she does.

They’re only have fae though, the other half is Witch, their mother is the Queen of Spades and an extremely powerful sorceress, and trysts like that are not meant to happen according to the Deyrein courts, they are not supposed to exist. they’re essentially not allowed to because that threatens the order the deyreins built for themselves centuries ago and regularly slaughter bludveils for trying to fight against. no matter which way its sliced or diced, they’re in danger from just about every single point. if their family bloodlines got out, from the hearts for threatening the fact they stole the crown from the rightful heirs, from the deyrein fae for threatening their control over the other plane because its proof they can coexist in ways other than treaties and threats and submission.

and ofc jack is just a bitch whos mad cassie didnt bend the knee to him, is obsessed with her anyways due to her fae magic, and doesnt want his crown threatened that he never earned in the first place. he’ll say otherwise like ph i played my mother and i worked for the resistance, bitch you stole that land you stole that crown get fucked, anyways.

thats all my rambles on that bc funnily enough this was supposed to be about what blood does to cassie lol and i never got there.

[niche-pastiche]

I’m the Supernatural fic writing partner of @wisteria-lodge​, you can find my work under NichePastiche over on AO3 . We’ve written for a variety of fandoms only some of which are linked here, and currently have fic in the works for even more.

Deep Space 9 Fic

First, Do No Harm (60k) - Doctor Bashir has been off-station for an entire month, and Garak would like to know why. And if he manages to enjoy himself or turn up more information about the fascinating doctor in the process, well. These things do happen. 

Superman/Batman Fic

Relationship Status (42k) - Bruce Wayne might be dating Superman. He certainly went on a date with Clark Kent, and now it turns out they're the same person. But while Bruce trusts Superman with his life, he's still getting to know this shy, mild-mannered Kansas boy. - Rebloggable Tumblr Post

Our Flag Means Death Fic

Season 1

Playing Pirate 15k - Stede thinks he hears a ghost in the auxiliary wardrobe and, like a good pirate captain, goes to investigate. It turns out to be Ed - which only raises more questions. And gives Stede a few interesting ideas.

A Lesson in "Sword" Fighting 7k - Stede overhears the crew playing Marry, Fuck, Kill. And now he's got some questions for Ed.

Holding Hands 46k - Steddyhands Stede and Ed are going to patch things up even stronger than before. But that still leaves Stede with the small, unresolved matter of what to do about Izzy...

Season 2

Ed and Stede's Inn That is Very Nice; and Good to Stay At; and Has Beds and Stuff - Izzy is dragged back to the land of the living through some highly suspect sea-magic. It's only a matter of time before he ruins everything, again. Problem is, Bonnet refuses to let him out of his sight and keeps insisting on very.... interesting sleeping arrangements. Bonnet is the most oblivious man who has ever fucking lived. Unless he's planning something. 

SPN Fic

Jimmyverse (Season 5 canon divergent Destiel + Jimmy triad):

Love Notes Written in Salt and Lipstick 130k - Dean, Cas, and his vessel Jimmy Novak navigate consent issues, work through their various traumas of Heaven, Hell and heteronormativity, and talk about their feelings in various states of undress.  -  Repbloggable Tumblr Post  

Hard Limits 50k -  Sam/Balthazar focused sequel to Edging set in an alternate season 7 - Rebloggable Tumblr Post

Soft Limits 99k -  Sam/Balthazar - Sequel to Hard Limits.  “Sam isn't sure if he should call Balthazar his boyfriend, sub, or sugardaddy. He doesn't have to figure that out now just so long as he calls him. Amelia Novak, Jimmy's ex-wife, has a mysterious angelic sigil crawling up her arm and Sam's out of his depth.But the fact it turns out to be an obscure sex curse suddenly makes the question of what exactly he and Balthazar are to each other more relevant than either of them were expecting.”

Rare Pair Oneshots:

 As Time Goes Bi  20k - Dean Winchester/Eliot Ness, Dean is comfortably Bi but also stranded in the 40s with a case of hero worship. Has a bit of a noir meets romance novel flavor. Dean’s got a crush and legs for days. Cas is also dead and Dean’s stressed and stuck in the past. So not his best day, but not his worst either. - Rebloggable Tumblr Post 

ABO with a twist

Freaky Angel Sex 101  21k - Michael has left the building, but unfortunately for Dean, he did some renovations on the way out. Now Dean has questions. The most important being what is going on with his ass and what does Ketch mean Dean’s ‘in heat’? - Rebloggable Tumblr Post

Nesting Habits of Domestic Winchesters - A followup to the previous fic that adds Benny into the mix. Rebloggable Tumblr Post

My notable Supernatural meta include: The SPN Gun Meta and the SPN Clown Meta

[ballerinadoll]

cancel / block culture with no proof behind the reasoning is toxic and sad. :( someone can say i’m a 60 year old mass murderer and get people to unfollow me. if anyone gets any twisted dm, ask, or information about me, please ignore or block the account. it’s all being said by a psycho who’s obsessed with me and checks my social media daily.

@porcelaindoll1 (now @porcelainballerina) on tumblr is a spiteful, crazy, obsessive psychopath. she has followed me down to my depop shop, and went as far as to dming all of my mutuals there on a throwaway account. She spread false rumors about me along with telling them to not support me + block me.

she also has made countless fake accounts across almost all platforms that she uses to pretend to be me and associate me with Instagram accounts that aren’t mine along with people that aren’t me. if anyone sees an account claiming to be me or associated with my business along with photos of a random lady and her fiancé are not me. these accounts are run by this psycho to mislead others about me and to mess with me.

She has been harassing me for over a year now, and as of December 2020 she’s now dming people that follow & like my photos from my blog saying that I’m a 40 year old man sending nudes to underage girls + abusing them? it’s actually kind of disturbing that her mind comes up with those kinds of things. she’s also nonstop sent me anon messages to kill myself because I’m a “worthless rat”, & also saying she’s going to cut me.

she tries so hard to ruin my reputation, I’m not sure how she has so much time and effort to do so, it’s pretty sad.

and her reasoning behind doing all this?

she’s so pressed that I had a similar aesthetic as her. she blocked me because I reblogged and liked a bunch of her reblogs (basically for just using tumblr for it’s purpose). she can’t stand anyone having a similar aesthetic as her; she gatekeeps aesthetics and photos that don’t belong to her. she also blocks + harasses anyone who she feels threatened by in the slightest for having a similar blog. i’ve even received a dm from another girl here not too long after making this post who told me that she also got harassed by this same psycho for similar reasons.

Sadly there’s nothing I can do about this besides make a post to spread awareness about this creep, because she keeps creating fake accounts to stalk me and dm my followers/rebloggers. I recommend blocking & reporting her so she doesn’t go around cyber stalking and harassing other innocent girls.

@porcelaindoll1 stop wasting your life by attacking strangers <3 nothing you do will ever effect me the way you think you are. you’re just making yourself look like a clown and you should be genuinely embarrassed. you’re a grown women that’s attacking girls that are years younger than you online over nothing. get a life and grow up

[madcom-stuff-of-interest]

Name's Emile, and I've fallen headfirst down the rabbit hole of Madness Combat. I have no idea when I'll stop falling either, and I may be here for a while.

(Main blog is @lightkrets312 , which is a lot more "general content" and assorted stuff. I will inevitably reblog stuff to the wrong blog, but it is what it is.)

(If y'all wanna know my thoughts and feelings on various stuff, send me an ask! Content's freely rebloggable unless stated otherwise, ask if you're unsure!)

---

Content, tags, and more:

AUs (as of June 2021):

[Trick!Hofnarr] - "haha hey what if tricky could just be hofnarr at any given moment? ...wait no hold up why does this have a plot now, stop-"

MCVRAI - Combines "Half Life VR but the AI are self aware" and "Madness Combat", which is kinda just me loosely slapping characters into places they sorta fit and laughing along with it.

MC² - Madness Combat except it's a Minecraft online server with RP-based lore. I have a lot more thoughts about this AU than I've written down, but it covers the players, the lore, the server's history itself, and group dynamics.

----------------

Tags:

- #madness combat and #madcom [name] are my go-to's for tagging characters, in which you just swap out [name] for most of the primary named cast.

- #MCVRAI, #MC², and #trick!hofnarr are tags for AUs I work on, though I may change MC² to MC^2 for the sake of desktop typeability.

- #my post and #my art are my primary tags for content made by me!

If I mistag a post, shoot an ask my way?

----------------

Possible questions:

"How old are you?" An adult! 20s if you're really curious, I mainly just stick to my own lane.

"You don't ship?" Not personally. Most of the time that has romantic/possibly sexual connotations in my head (not my cup of tea), and I'm just not big on it anyways. However I do think people can do wonders with any content, and I've got no issues with people that do!

"Do you just draw? Is it all colorless?" I do write occasionally, but drawing/visual art's my preferred method of doing things. ...And lines-only is just faster.

"Are you gonna write stuff down?" I already have some bullet points on a reference page for a few of these, and sometimes the art just doesn't wanna be drawn, so at this rate... maybe!

"Anything else?" Hey followers! I see you and your content, and I'm glad you enjoy mine! I'll also probably skim your blog if you follow me, just know that.

"...Okay but can I actually reblog th-?" If it doesn't say ya can't, yes do it. I see your reblogs and I love them, thank you.

------------------

"How'd you get into Madness Combat?" Short answer: Friday Night Funkin mod videos.

Long answer: Blame YouTube, honestly. Videos of "song except it keeps switching modpacks" led to me watching modweeks, and then of course that led to Tricky. After the Tricky mod became a whole ass week, I ended up watching some fan-reactions to it, which got my interest more than the probably-creepypasta clown did.

(and before anyone asks: YES i thought Tricky was some creepypasta nightmare creature, what was I supposed to think of the Funkin interpretation?? That version of Tricky reads as a lot more serious than the canon Tricky! MadCom Tricky is a little shit and a bastard and THAT'S the one I enjoy.)

...Which led to the Madness Combat wiki... and then an episode list... and then a video of "madcom but it's just tricky"... and then at least a week straight of just watching the series once a day...

Anyways, a bunch of videos had mentioned stuff about "Hank" and some old video series, and at this point I was dipping my toes into the Fandom Wiki enough to feel confident about using it, so I finally caved and went spelunking through Tricky's wiki article.

...And then at some point along the way, I made a sideblog for MadCom content and here I am!

(...And also Hofnarr's article, while I was at it, which totally didn't lead to a few ideas/AU concepts inevitably...)

[boosyboo9206]

"I'm bby," Marcy admitted freely. She was lying the whole time. She is in fact not bby Em kinda just watched from the side knowing that secretly em is bby . But she was actually telling the truth because she is bby. She was also hit with a truth quirk which would not allow her to deny her bby status. the truth quirk also hit everyone else in the room making them spill their darkest secrets Marcy decided to just never speak again because she was getting bullied . Marcy was not being bullied. Marcy also got hit with a quirk not allowing her to remain silent. She decides that she'll talk with Denki instead knowing that Momma bear would continue to bully her Em walks in with natsuo following . “ hey Marcy, what’s up?” . Denki responds, instead, saying "she's doing great because she's bby and not being bullied at all." “ He's wrong, I swear,” She says covering Denki's mouth with her hand. but he could not be wrong as he has no reason to lie and marcy is bby. “ okayyy... anyway! Do you guys wanna come with natsuo and I to spend all of endeavours money again?” Em replied “Of course we want to go out and spend all of Endeavors money! Can Shinsou come?” Marcy says wanting to take her platonic Minecraft boyfriend along with her Endeavor also got hit with the quirk making people say their darkest secrets and began shouting his bank pin. “of course he can! We have three of endeavours credit cards after all” natsuo replied for Em. Mommabear keeps putting her foot on a plate that once contained delicious cake. “Yay!” Marcy smiles thinking that Mommabear isn't going to bully her any more . Oh how wrong Marcy was 😔. mommabear came up from behind the chair claiming “ I need to come too to make sure natsuo and em don’t hold hands- and Marcy , your bby” Soon, everyone starts chanting "marcy is bby." “Im going to make eye contact if you don't stop chanting Denki,” Instantly making the blonde shut up. “Im not BBY I swEAR—” you could faintly hear em yelling at natsuo “Natsuo! Stop chanting! Marcy is not bby!” Marcy hits the back of Shinsou's head who is still chanting, “Imma bonk you both with a hammer if you chant” 🔨😭 dabi walks in confused. “What are you doing... I wanted to flex my new Gucci bag” . But eye contact is forbidden and not happening anyway, especially with bby. Eye contact runs the risk of Denki being punted into the sun with mineral. Furthermore, Natsuo would not stop chanting as he wishes to not be punted into the sun, as well. Shinsou used his brainwashing quirk to force marcy and em to being bby. “Hey, Dabi I like your bag,” Says Denki as Shinsou agrees with him. Marcy is now pouting Because she isn't bby . "Thanks, jammingyay. It says 'marcy is bby' on it and I only buy Gucci merch with accurate statements." Dabi said, showing off the large and bold words. Em was confused “I know Marcy is bby but now I am? That’s new” dabi hears her and says “ I have Em is bby written in the small pocket on my Gucci bag darling” Marcy refuses to speak and crosses her arms. “She's bby” says Shinsou . There is much proof that marcy has admitted she is bby. All the proof is actually Photoshopped except it is because no one who has the proof knows photoshop. But they're liars that do know how to Photoshop advert break~ SELLING NOW! Endeavours credit cards! Free from the todoroki house hold now! except they're not liars and don't know photoshop because they're clowns who bought all of endeavor's credits card to spend on "marcy is bby" merch, happy to have it now that marcy admitted she's bby. The end.

From: LOC crackfics ✨

Story recorded by @storybot, written by @boosyboo9206, @bnha-rebloggs, @herladyfangirl, and @panbaigel

[almaasi]

GISH 2019 List of Items

Need a clean, rebloggable, printable, copy-pastable, bookmarkable reference for the GISH 2019 item list in case the official site goes down? I’ve got ya covered. Includes the item number, photo/video type, and point value. List will be updated as the hunt progresses. Good luck, Gishers~

[ see also: 2011 list // 2012 list // 2013 list // 2014 list // 2015 list // 2016 list // 2017 list // 2018 list]

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Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Misha Collins or GISH. I just love the bleeping bleep out of both. c:

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ALL of the Items below should either be captured as "images" (which are photographs) or "videos". When you click “Submit," there will be instructions on how to submit the links to these images or videos. You should only use YOUTUBE for the videos and for images - you may upload them directly on our site.

bUnless otherwise specified, ALL VIDEOS must be NO LONGER than 14 seconds. If you’re a second or two over we’re not going to penalize you (we know how finicky youtube can be), but aim for 14 or under. They can be shorter if you wish!

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1 / PHOTO / 21 POINTS / Make an Assbutt of yourself in public. Literally.

2 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Nothing caps off a good, hot summer day like a footlong s'mores eaten by two, Lady and the Tramp Style. (No hands may be used in the creation of or eating of the s'mores.) - Rae M.

3 / VIDEO / 57 POINTS / They say stepping on a LEGO is the greatest pain one can experience. We Gishers laugh in the face of pain. Make shoes entirely from LEGOs - no fluffy socks or insoles allowed- and demonstrate them in use. Post it to social media and tag the LEGO accounts and @GISH. - Deidra

4 / VIDEO / 59 POINTS / Hula hooping is hard, and you're just not ready to go it alone yet. Create a hula-hoop with training wheels for beginners and show it in use.

5 / PHOTO / 36 POINTS / At least 3 grownups working in an industrial mud-pie factory. They must be wearing hair nets. Supervising them is at least one tidy child under age 10 in a suit and carrying a clipboard.

6 / VIDEO / 28 POINTS / 7 out of 10 dentists and dental hygienists recommend Flossing, and they practice what they preach. Show us 7 out of 10 real dentists and dental hygienists flossing (not tooth-flossing. Dance-flossing.)

7 / VIDEO / 113 POINTS / SLOW-MOTION. It's time for the most elegant and beautiful of all affairs: the paintball ballet! 5 ballerinas playing paintball on pointe. They must all be pointe dancers; they can be wearing safety gear, but it must be pink and there must be tutus and pointe shoes.

8 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / It's summer, and that means it's time to do your civic duty. Take a swim in the jury pool -- complete with flotation devices, snorkel, etc.

9 / PHOTO / 34 POINTS / Bee-drinking poles are all the rage, but your neighborhood bees deserve to really unwind. Create a bee bar - a bee "saloon on a pole" using recycled bottle caps. Install it somewhere public. - Item Written By Misha's Mom

10 / PHOTO / 74 POINTS / A real matador in a real bullfighting ring with any of our GISH/gishwhes "flapes" (these are flags some Gishers purchase during registration). The bull is a Gisher, convincingly dressed as a bull.

11 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 31 POINTS / Listerine Mouse Wash.

12 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / A child reading a bedtime story to the monster under their bed. The monster should be charmed and cozy and cuddled up.

13 / PHOTO / 36 POINTS / The machines are taking over, and now they're even infiltrating the dating sector. Your blind date tonight at a 4-star restaurant is a humanoid robot.

14 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / Nothing can shake you up! Show us how you keep centered: meditating on a moving mechanical bull. Keep your chakras aligned! Fall off in less than 2 seconds and score 0 points.

15 / PHOTO / 80 POINTS / Create a "food truck" that sells something incongruous with food trucks. It could be delicious pesticides, microchips, shower caps or anything in between. It can't be compassion, empathy, or anything that "feeds the soul." As loathe as we are to say this: get creative. Your truck must advertise its wares with flashy signage.

16 / VIDEO / 66 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Clowns were the original glad-iators. Prove it with Roman clowns fighting in an actual Colosseum or ancient amphitheater in a knock-down, drag-out pie fight.

17 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / Trip the light fantastic. Literally. - Kelli R.

18 / PHOTO / 53 POINTS / You know that saying: "Christ on a paddleboard!" Well, it's used for a reason - Jesus walked on water and was an innovator in the Stand-Up Paddleboard world. Show Jesus on a stand-up paddleboard, with at least 3 disciples following him in a rowboat, canoe, or scull.

19 / VIDEO / 49 POINTS / The world is in desperate need of more Cheese Balls. Many more Cheese Balls. Many many many more Cheese Balls. Delivered as rapidly as possible. Build a functional Cheese Ball launching/delivery system and demonstrate it shooting cheese balls from a distance of least 30 feet away. You must be able to catch at least 1 in your mouth.

20 / PHOTO / 12 POINTS / A housecat happily flaunting a stylish mustache.

21 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / You're a real dish. No, really. You and a friend, dressed as commemorative collector plates, donating platelets (that's what plates bleed).

22 / VIDEO / 291 POINTS / People always say, "GISH lights up the night!" Prove it. Get a bunch of drones with lights on them to spell out the word "GISH" in the night sky. The drones must serve as pixels in the sky, so you will need a lot of them. Probably at least 40.

23 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / (Up to 20 seconds. You may use fast-motion or tight editing). When baking, measurements are vital to the culinary success of your creation. Small missteps will ruin your souffle. Of course, measuring cups and spoons, over time, change size and volume due to humidity and aging. Let's use a measuring device that you trust and know intimately: your mouth. First, figure out exactly how much volume is in you mouth and then use it to source and distribute all ingredients to bake a cake. You may not use any utensils or measuring devices. Grab whatever ingredients you use to make a cake and place them on your counter and then, without using your hands to measure or fill, fill your mouth with the appropriate amounts of each ingredient and then deposit in your cake dish.(Yes, this means you would need to "bob for flour" in your flour bag and then "mouth spout" it into your mixing bowl). Once the ingredients are all safely in the mixing bowl (again, delivered by your mouth), you are allowed to mix it with any device--as long as that device is a part of your face. Bake it and enjoy it with a loved one (without using your hands).

24 / VIDEO / 94 POINTS / Have a child under 8 years old create an original recipe, a la "Cooking Fast & Fresh with West". Record them inventing it, then executing their vision. It must be 100% child-led with an adult-only serving as sous chef. In a blatant cross-promotional stunt, the best recipes will be posted on my social media when my new book, "The Adventurous Eaters Club" hits bookstores. (BTW, you can pre-order now here.)

25 / VIDEO / 68 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) You've been bragging you can out-dunk a professional basketball player, and now it's time to prove it: go one-on-one for a 30-second milk-and-cookies dunk-off against a pro-baller. Your competitor must be a current or retired member of the NBA or WNBA. Bonus points if your competition is a household name. Post your video on social media tagging the player with #GISHDunkChallenge

26 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Be a stand-in for me! Wearing a convincing Misha Collins mask, have a cup of tea with someone who still has a bonafide original Team 3 Rhino Hunt puzzle piece. The puzzle piece must be visible in the image. If you are on a team and you are a Team 3 Rhino Hunt puzzle piece holder, you MAY collaborate with other teams to help them out on this one. (I will still honor the tea-time for any unredeemed puzzle pieces. This offer never expires.)

27 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / Food waste is a real problem in many countries. At the same time, food deserts are a problem, making it difficult for some people to get fresh, nutritious food. We're helping both problems in one fell swoop with our GISH Mobile Free Grocers! Get a grocery store to donate the day's "ugly" produce, day-old bread, and any other still-edible fresh foods to you, then go and distribute it as a GISH Mobile Free Grocer to people experiencing homelessness.

28 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / The tooth fairy is sick and tired of waiting around to collect the teeth under kids' pillows, so she's gone rogue and has started taking them right out of their mouths to meet her quota. Obviously, she needs to be stopped! Create an effective anti-tooth fairy nighttime mouth guard and show it in use, successfully stopping the thieving fairy. -Ant G.

29 / VIDEO / 49 POINTS / (UP TO 20 SECONDS: You may speed up and edit video) The big trend in experience-based restaurants has you eating in total darkness, but these gimmicky restaurants charge a fortune. We're bringing it to the masses: Take a dinner date to an upscale restaurant - the fancier, the better - wear white. There must be a white linen tablecloth. Sit across from each other and feed each other dinner while both of you are blindfolded. You must be serving one another red wine too.

30 / VIDEO / 53 POINTS / The recorder is an under-appreciated instrument, with roots in ancient times. The depth of its mythical sirenic tones are magical and hypnotic. So what better place to play this divine woodwind than amongst the most beautiful sites in the world? Play the Kansas song "Carry on Wayward Son" at sunset on a recorder, overlooking one of the following: the Grand Canyon (Arizona, US), Angkor Wat (Cambodia), Machu Picchu (Peru), Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal (India), the Colosseum (Italy), Iguazu Falls (Brazil), Stonehenge (UK), Egyptian Pyramids or the Sphinx, Tikal (Guatemala), Angel Falls (Venezuela), Atacama Desert (Chile), Arashiyama Bamboo Grove (Japan), The Azores (Portugal), Boulders Beach (South Africa), Cappadocia (Turkey), Cliffs of Moher (Ireland), Disko Bay (Greenland), Lake Tekapo (New Zealand), Na Pali Coast (Hawaii, US), Sagrada Familia (Spain), Eiffel Tower (France), Reynisfjara (Iceland), Trolltunga (Norway), Ubud (Bali), Sydney Opera House (Australia), Banff National Park (Canada), Niagara Falls (New York or Ontario), Yellowstone (Wyoming), El Capitan (Yosemite), Statue of Liberty (Liberty Island), Eilean Donan Castle (Scotland), Neuschwanstein Castle (Germany), Matterhorn or Zermatt (Switzerland), or Chichen Itza (Mexico).

31 / PHOTO / 75 POINTS / In the past, stained glass windows usually depicted flowers or devotional symbols like angels and saints. But modern culture venerates a different group. Create a stained glass window of a Kardashian, famous Instagram Influencer, or similar personality with more than 4 million followers. It must be someone who is worshipped simply for being worshipped for being famous. You may not use anyone from the cast of Supernatural. Bonus points if it's installed in an actual cathedral.

32 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / We're putting you in charge of Supernatural canon for the day. Paint a cannon with an elaborate SPN mural showcasing something that you think should be canon, with a caption like, "It's #SPN Cannon!"

33 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / In the 2018 GISH Most Premiumerest Registration, we included a Misha Collins MishSqueezie stress ball. And though our concept artist did a great job, something got lost in translation and, well... Nailed it! But somewhere out there, there must be the guy that actually looks exactly like this stress ball. Find him and take a picture of him with the MishSqueezie.

34 / PHOTO / 81 POINTS / The Federation of Stormtroopers has been officially sponsored by the X Games this year. Let's see a highlight from one of their competitions with the stormtrooper participating in an extreme sport.

35 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / A pop-up card that's for a blind child. Written in Braille, with pop-ups that can be understood completely by touch. Let's see it in action.

36 / PHOTO / 118 POINTS / Like many Americans, I've been trying to get supplies to the families and kids in detention center along the US border, and despite my C-List celebrity status, it's been tough. But we found a way. Go to SPNFamilyValues.com and follow the instructions there, then screenshot it and send that in as proof.

37 / VIDEO / 32 POINTS / I keep losing my stuff. Invent a Misha-proof AirPod-finding solution that is NOT a cord, because that defeats the entire point of AirPods - and one that works when they're not charged. Show it in use.

38 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / Ugly Holiday sweaters are great, but with the climate crisis heating up the planet, we've got to branch out. Model your best ugly Holiday bathing suit or bikini made of repurposed ugly holiday sweaters. Model it at the beach with a caption touting the virtues of your "Global Warming Holiday Sweater."

39 / VIDEO / 108 POINTS / There's regular golf, and mini-golf, but where are all the maxi-golf courses? We want to see it all - the giant putters, the huge balls, and of course, the windmill.

40 / VIDEO / 45 POINTS / The world is heating up! Time for an old-fashioned kids game that we all know: Hot Planet. With at least 8 people in a public place, play a game of Hot Potato with a reddened globe of the planet Earth. Everyone must be wearing oven mitts and summer wear and not be fazed by the heat, except for one person who is dressed in a suit with a red tie and a Donald Trump mask. Trump isn't wearing mitts and his hands are covered in blisters and while he tries to hide it when the globe gets to his hands, it really hurts.

41 / VIDEO / 67 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS). A high-speed giant game of red rover played by at least 50 wedding guests. The bride must be the one flung across the field. The groom must be running after her holding her train. - Inspired by mdsteele47

42 / PHOTO / 95 POINTS / TWO PICTURES SIDE-BY-SIDE IN ONE IMAGE. I always feel a lot of guilt about the tattoo items in GISH. The first time I added one, I thought it was funny until I saw the tatts and then I felt a little bad. Of course, it gives me a rush of power when I see them in person, and many of them are actually very cool... So I have an idea that allows me to keep feeling powerful, but takes away all of my guilt: Get a tattoo of the encouraging message you wish your higher self had written to get you through the tough times. Because I know many of you already have inspiring tattoos, you must submit two images. The first is an image of you getting the tattoo when you are �-way done at the tattoo parlor, in the chair, holding a sign that reads, "GISH made me do it." The second image is of the finished tattoo. If you can, include your triumphant face. (Don't include more than 2 images in your submission. Just one image with two photos side by side.)

43 / VIDEO / 24 POINTS / Choose a sport you’ve never played before. Go do it with your coach: a child under the age of 10 who is an experienced participant. - Inspired by Coach Odette Padalecki

44 / PHOTO / 94 POINTS / Recreate a Civil War-era photograph with Captain America, Iron Man, and/or their respective sides using the Woodburytype photography technique. As always, no Photoshop allowed unless specified. This one does not allow it.

45 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / Why have chain letters, when you can have chain mail? Create an intricate medieval knight’s suit of armor entirely out of junk mail, with chain mail comprised of chain letters. Must include a junk mail shield, sword, and a codpiece (to protect your "junk").

46 / VIDEO / 135 POINTS / Someone turned your local parking lot into your favorite childhood board game! Using sidewalk chalk or removable tempera, transform at least 5000 square feet of pavement into an enlarged version of your favorite childhood board game. Using a drone’s eye-view, show the whole board (complete with people costumed as game pieces playing).

47 / VIDEO / 141 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) Garfield phones keep washing up on beaches in France. As you know, that’s because mermaids love cats, so there’s a mermaid call center operation down there selling these phones on QVSea. Show us the QVSea commercial for these phones, as pitched by a mer-spokesperson. Oh, and it should go without saying, but all of this is taking place underwater.

48 / VIDEO / 64 POINTS / A real barbershop quartet singing a passage from the Mueller Report in front of a federally elected political leader’s office.

49 / VIDEO / 48 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) Talk to an elderly person over 80 and learn all about the best day of their life so far. Then, create a diorama of their best day in a small empty tin or box and give it to them. The video should show them briefly describing the memory and then you presenting them with the diorama. Make sure we get to see the diorama you made and their reaction, too.

50 / PHOTO / 59 POINTS / Write a formal, one-page letter to Gina Haspel, the current Director of the CIA. In it you must outline a plausible, one-page decoding of the fourth Kryptos. The letter must frame the description as an urgent matter and must seamlessly deploy the term “wild unicorn training centers around the globe”. Post a photo of your letter on social media and tag @CIA.

51 / PHOTO / 27 POINTS / Conspiracy theorists need to get with the times! Update the tinfoil hat to reflect technological innovations.

52 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Create MAILWHES, The Most Amazing, Intimidating Letterbox The World Has Ever Seen: a mailbox so amazing, so intimidating, so horrifying that your mail carrier will never dare leave you another piece of junk mail again. There must be teeth around the mail slot or opening.

53 / VIDEO / 64 POINTS / FAST-MOTION. At my friend Philip’s wedding, Giles Duley, myself and a few other forward-thinking innovators devised a new product and we would like to beta test the concept with you. It’s called: SoupFace and it involves eating soup from a bowl made from a plaster mold of your face. First, make a plaster mold of your face. Fill it with warm soup. Consume the soup without using a utensil and when the soup is gone and your face is back in the wet mold. Lift the SoupFace mold off the table without using your hands. Reveal the mask beneath.

54 / VIDEO / 59 POINTS / As all diehard Supernatural fans know, “Assbutt” was a featured player in Season 5, Episode 22 of the show, but the episode ran long and Assbutt’s scene was left on the cutting room floor. Rectify this oversight by releasing the never-before-seen cut of this scene.

55 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / TRIPTYCH. Dawid Planeta illustrates his depression as mysterious creatures. In a 3-panel illustration, show your biggest fear or struggle as a symbolic creature with which you gradually come to terms. Label it so we know what your creature represents.

56 / PHOTO / 73 POINTS / A lot of people use their cell phones while in the bathroom, which is really gross. We understand that it can get boring in there, though. Help people break society’s screen addiction with our new solution: Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter toilet paper! Re-create a verified social media account on a roll of toilet paper- images and all. Scroll away—but don’t read the comments. (They’re crap.) Install it in a public bathroom as a public service.

57 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / Send noods! There’s been an epidemic of people sending explicit noodle photos to unsuspecting people. We believe consent is important, and in this case, we consent—with some STRICT caveats: Recreate a TASTEFUL image of a famous nude painting or sculpture in noodles ONLY and then post it on social media tagged #SendNoods. Submit your actual image and a link to the tweet in your comments.

58 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 38 POINTS / Ask a child aged 5 or under what their greatest fear is. Create and photograph or film a scene of you and them conquering this fear together. - Kristin L.

59 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / Cement your own joy.

60 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 244 POINTS / Angry birds. Flappy birds. Candy Crush. All those other games are so boring compared to GISH: The Game! Build an app game for the GISH App. It must feature a GISH mascot and integrate fully into the GISH App. Full specs for integration can be found here.

61 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / (F)underwear.

62 / PHOTO / 72 POINTS / Each day, one member of your team must find one broken thing to upcycle and give to someone in need. Take a photo and, at the end of the Hunt week, submit a collage of the 7 now-useful items your team has gathered, refurbished, and donated. (You may not use a bicycle, but you may use a unicycle or tricycle.) - Inspired by Monica D.

63 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / The ’80s are back, and we can’t escape all that goes with them: including stereoscopic images. Make a stereoscopic “Magic Eye” image of something that scares you as much as '80s fashion scares us.

64 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Outside a migrant detention center, lift a massive banner using balloons, drones, or telescoping poles at least 10 feet high with a message like, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” “When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong.” Be responsible with your balloons. Don’t let them fly away or burst and leave shards anywhere.

65 / PHOTO / 67 POINTS / An upscale art gallery opening at a landfill. All exhibits must be made from things found at the landfill. One professional art critic must be present to review the works.

66 / VIDEO / 256 POINTS / Plane air painting: A wing-walker on a biplane, painting a picture on a canvas of the landscape from their point of view. Show us the painting as it’s happening, and then the completed painting being held by the wing-walker.

67 / VIDEO / 49 POINTS / A signer performing the National Anthem silently in sign language on a field at a stadium that seats more than 5,000, with a sizeable crowd of spectators.

68 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / I’m not saying Jared Padalecki is a big softie, but here’s a portrait of him toasted onto a marshmallow. Just the way it should be.

69 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / Nobody’s more devoted or grateful to firefighters than we are, except maybe a dalmatian. Or Smokey the Bear. Go to your local fire station dressed as a dalmatian or Smokey the Bear and create a relaxation station to thank them for their work. You can bring treats, offer mani-pedis, foot or shoulder massages, aromatherapy... You get the idea.

70 / PHOTO / 69 POINTS / Over the years, Jensen Ackles has been depicted in Skittles, but we all know his character Dean loves pie. Let's do a crossover: Bake a Skittles pie with a portrait of Jensen baked into the upper crust. Lattice work in the top crust should allow you to see the Skittles inside behind Jensen. Here’s some inspiration..

71 / VIDEO / 66 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Create a thạch rau câu (Vietnamese Jelly Cake) portrait of a classic movie monster. You may not use the blob. We must see the injection process and your completed jelly cake.

72 / VIDEO / 51 POINTS / In Chengdu, China, kung fu tea (long spout, performance tea pouring) is popular. But it was just a matter of time before it was appropriated by other cultures. Show us a barista performing the Mengding Mountain 18 Forms of Dragon Flying Postures Kung Fu Tea pour at a Starbucks.

73 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / An actual lumberjack working up on a tree with an impressive, long beard made out of googly eyes.

74 / VIDEO / 77 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds) A stop-motion animation of a life-saving first aid technique (CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, etc.) featuring dolls or puppets in crisis.

75 / PHOTO / 178 POINTS / Danish artist Thomas Dambo creates massive wooden giants from recycled materials and installs them in Copenhagen forests. That’s great, but some giants prefer urban living. Build a hipster giant that’s at least 8’ (2.4m) tall from recycled materials and place it in the middle of a busy city or town.

76 / PHOTO / 22 POINTS / Not all insects aspire to just be insects. Some have ambitions and hobbies! Without harming it, get a live fly, beetle, roach or other insect to sit on a sheet of paper and doodle an environment around it showing it at its job or hobby.

77 / PHOTO / 75 POINTS / An actual space suit with a GISH 2019 patch on it next to the national flag.

78 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / The Enterprise wasn’t the only vehicle in the not-so-final frontier. Show us Star Trek covered wagons. Tweet your image to @WilliamShatner with the message “Admit it, Bill. This is how you really voyaged.” You may use Photoshop for this item. Submit your image, along with a LINK to your tweet in your submission comments for points.

79 / PHOTO / 72 POINTS / The insect world is under-appreciated, but they are tiny works of art. Create a realistic-looking, oversized detailed sculpture of an underappreciated arachnid or insect out of bread, ice, or marble, the way Michaelangelo would have done if he’d had the time. You may not make a dragonfly, ladybug, butterfly or any other insect that has already been socially normalized as “cute”. - Inspired by Kat F.

80 / PHOTO / 49 POINTS / The Wondersmith makes surprise, fantastical parties in the forests of Oregon, which we find lovely. Set up a surprise party for hikers at least ½ a mile from a rest area that’s clearly been created by forest-dwelling fairies and/or trolls (that’s you). Make sure it’s welcoming, and capture the moment you’re surprising them— both you and the hikers should be in the image. They must be real hikers and strangers to you—don’t bring in ringers, or you’ll anger the fairy queen.

81 / VIDEO / 43 POINTS / Love makes the world go round. Build a machine that uses love to spin a globe.

82 / PHOTO / 160 POINTS / COLLAGE. In the Western United States, there are mountain monograms, giant glyphs of letters that are often there for no discernable reason. Create your own Mountain Monograms out of natural materials to craft a message with purpose. Submit a photo of your glyph message that says something inspiring to the birds and planes that fly over it. Your message must be at least 2 words long, with each letter at least 6 feet tall and each letter must be on separate peaks. You may not do this on protected land.

83 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / The London Zoo has a pair of penguins who are out and proud, but they didn’t get to march in Pride because they are penguins in a zoo. We think that’s just wrong. Dress up in penguin suits and march through your town with rainbow flags to show your support for Penguin and LGBTQIA+ Pride.

84 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. This means something… Subtractive food sculpture. Start with a block of cheese or a massive mountain of mashed potatoes and without using tools, eat your way to an ornate re-creation of a famous statue.

85 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / You’ve heard of a scarecrow, but let’s see a straw-stuffed scarevolleyballplayer at the beach.

86 / VIDEO / 84 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS) In 2020, we’re gonna need a 30-second GISH ad worthy of airing during the Super Bowl, advertising the latest in summer refreshment: “GISH.”

87 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 45 POINTS / Misha doesn’t have a ton of skills other than “acting on camera”, but he does try hard. He’s also at a potential career transition point. Help him explore other career paths by creating a poster of him photoshopped doing another job you think he’d be suited for.

88 / VIDEO / 31 POINTS / Ben Ferencz started each dinner table conversation with his children by asking them, “What did you do today to make the world a better place?” Wake up tomorrow and take a specific, positive action to make the world a better/nicer/happier/prettier place with a child as your assistant. Then show us what you did.

89 / PHOTO / 34 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Some people long to have a picnic at the Longaberger Basket Building, and you and your friends are no different. But size matters! Enjoy a to-scale picnic on the grounds in front of the building- giant fruits and sandwiches, etc. No Photoshop just forced perspective.

90 / PHOTO / 58 POINTS / It’s an ineffable Good Omen to see Azrapahile and Crowley sharing a hot fudge sundae on Sunday. Post your picture on social media tagged #GoodOmens and @neilhimself. Bonus points if the sundae is eaten at a Sundae School in Cape Cod.

91 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / A Cairn Terrier. (His name is Rocky. He won’t come when he’s called.)

92 / VIDEO / 48 POINTS / One of our Gishers was able to help her mom act FAST and responded in time to help her with a stroke. Last we heard, her mom is okay, but she can’t play this year—so in her honor, it’s time for a quick refresher on recognizing a stroke. Do a rendition of “Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes” with some kind of lyrics like: “Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)! Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)! When someone’s had a stroke their life is on the line! Face, Arms, Speech, Call in Time (don’t waste time)!” with the appropriate movements. Include a link to the National Stroke Association and GISH on a final card of your video. Post it on social media tagged #GISH, @robbenedict, and @natstrokeassn. - Inspired by Nicole’s mom

93 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / A Mom-and-Pop shop that sells Moms and Pops. (New and used.) Show a young child making a purchase.

94 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / (AUDIO UP TO 90 SECONDS) We’re auditioning new anchors for G-ISH, GISH RADIO! Send us a clip of your team’s broadcast debut as you discuss the climate crisis’ effect on sea levels with a real, noted expert in the field.

95 / PHOTO / 63 POINTS / Tatsuya Tanaka creates miniature worlds with everyday objects. Her scenes are whimsical, which is how the world should be... but is not always how tiny-world actually is. Create a miniature, dismal and tragic scene using small reimagined objects.

96 / PHOTO / 15 POINTS / Write your resume as a haiku.

97 / PHOTO / 34 POINTS / 8554J46H+FH. You, the Carrot God, have summoned them.

98 / PHOTO / 95 POINTS / (GRID). The hot new trading card battle game is GISHémon! Create a trading card for each of your team mates with their photo and stats (location, Gisher type, powers, etc.) as the powerful kindness monsters they are. We must see each teammate’s unobscured face for it to count.

99 / PHOTO / 55 POINTS / Little known fact: when an avocado is fully ripe, it hatches. Show us the tiny, intricately carved creature sleeping inside (which you’ve carved from the pit).

100 / VIDEO / 24 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Write a phrase on a piece of wood of something negative you say about yourself to silence yourself or hold yourself back. Burn the wood and the phrase in a fireplace or fire pit. Use the ashes to write something affirming about your strong self on a sheet of white paper.

101 / PHOTO / 30 POINTS / The heir to the throne of France was known as the Dauphin, French for "dolphin". According to Donald Trump, the heir to the British throne is the Prince of... Whales? Illustrate a meeting of these two majestic undersea figures, with Macron and Prince Charles as their respective attendants. (This may be photoshopped or, for bonus points, live action.)

102 / VIDEO / 31 POINTS / Reach out to a senior in your family or community and ask them about a commercially made snack or dish from their childhood that brings them fond memories—something that just doesn’t exist anymore. Try to recreate it based on their description, then share your creation with them and record their assessment.

103 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / A carbon footprint on a globe.

104 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / A motorized vehicle with cheese wheels. It can be a motorcycle, tricycle, or 4-wheel vehicle, but it must have cheese wheels made from actual cheese.

105 / VIDEO / 320 POINTS / Get Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions, Jair Bolsonaro, Boris Johnson, or any other duplicitous, nationalistic high-ranking politician to tell the absolute, verifiable truth about any controversial and uncomfortable (for them) topic they normally lie to the public about. It must really be the real person, not an actor or someone in a mask. You must be able to verify the facts through a nonpartisan, independent source. (This may be our first truly impossible item.)

106 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / A bacterial culture petri dish portrait of Jonas Salk. Tweet this to Melinda Gates thanking her for her work vaccinating children.

107 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / Create a haiku for an animal on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species that tells of the animal’s plight and why we should protect it. Next to the haiku, include a hand-drawn picture or origami sculpture of the animal.

108 / PHOTO / 79 POINTS / Stonehenge was cool, but it just wasn't built with sustainability or environmental impact in mind, so now we're stuck with ancient druid clutter by the side of the road. As a modern druidic architect, you know better. Next to a highway, build an architecturally significant henge out of 100% recycled materials that represent our current culture. (Cardboardhenge, Styrofoamhenge, LaCroixCanhenge, etc). Stonehenge is 30’ (9.1m) tall, but don’t worry—yours can be as short as 1:3 scale—but it must include at least one dolmen.

109 / PHOTO / 96 POINTS / An elaborate hinged, Faberge-style Easter egg that opens to reveal Trump & Putin embracing.

110 / VIDEO / 21 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Play “the floor is lava” in front of the Osservatorio Vesuviano in Pompeii. If you can’t get to Pompeii, you can play it at any Olive Garden, as long as you get other diners to join in.

111 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. COLLABORATIVE. Swap-meet day! Use the GISH app to coordinate with at least 5 other Gishers in your area to meet up and hold a yard sale. Except, this is not a yard-sale, it’s a yard-giveaway: the GISH Community Bazaar. Bring as many items as you can bear to part with and set up shop. And remember, no money must change hands and no bartering! All items must be gifted to passers-by and everything must go!

112 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / A jello mold with a funeral scene inside.

113 / VIDEO / 18 POINTS / COLLABORATIVE. In Uppsala, Sweden, there is a tradition called the Flogsta Scream. Every night at 10 pm, students at university stop what they are doing to let out a collective, primal scream from their rooftops and dorms. This tradition shouldn’t be exclusive to Sweden, so at 6PM on Friday, August 3rd, get together with as many Gishers and other humans as you can in a public setting and let out one deep, primitive, collective howl. 

PS: We’re still #sorrynotsorry, Sweden.

114 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / The best part about being in the hospital is the couture. Hold a hospital gown fashion show in your local hospital to show off red-carpet-worthy hospital gowns of your creation. Glam it up and walk (or roll) the runway with any patients that might be able and willing to participate… and don’t forget the slip-proof socks!

115 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Bring an old bike back to life with a flourish—make it the most beautiful bike in the world. Give it to someone to someone in need. Submit photos of the bike before and after refurbishment, side-by-side. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom

116 / VIDEO / 40 POINTS / MONTAGE. Basic Training can be hell, and the military needs our support! Create a video of you and your team collecting and packing “basics” to send to a currently deployed serviceperson. The catch: your video should emulate a “basic training” montage from a movie-obstacles courses, bucket brigades, etc. (You must actually ship the goods, choosing ONLY from this list or a similar approved list for your country of origin: CLICK HERE) - Jennifer W.

117 / PHOTO / 45 POINTS / This year, we lost a beloved furry friend, Peter Mayhew (the actor who played Chewbacca). In honor of his memory, create a felted Chewbacca out of your pet’s hair.

118 / VIDEO / 46 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. The LGBTQIA community struggles a lot with erasure. Make sure everyone feels seen: create a portrait of an iconic LGBTQIA person by first filling up a page with a rainbow of colored pencils or pastels, then use an eraser to lift out the negative space, leaving the colored portrait behind. Include a message letting them know they are seen and loved. Post it to social media and tag the person, if they’re on social media, then submit your portrait with the link (if any) in the comments. (This may be done in oil pastels as well.)

119 / PHOTO / 82 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Some people really do have eyes in the back of their head. Before and after images of a person with long hair, and then their head shaved and a recognizable portrait of their own face shaved onto the back of their own head. (Donate the hair to a non-profit organization that makes wigs for cancer patients.)

120 / PHOTO / 26 POINTS / Neil Armstrong stepped on to the Moon 50 years ago. To memorialize this amazing achievement, make your own “One Small Step” monument. Take a Giant Leap for mankind and put your foot somewhere it has never been before and probably should not go, then show us the resulting footprint.

121 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. You know those garden gnomes that dotted your grandmother’s backyard? Well, it’s been a while and now they have fallen on hard times. They have turned to a life of crime and misanthropy. Their little gnome hearts are filled with despair, hatred, and regret. Show us the before and after.

122 / VIDEO / 131 POINTS / The next time that Earth’s magnetic poles reverse themselves, your magnetic compass won’t be much help navigating. Fortunately, you remember a mention from a history class of a “south-facing chariot” [SFC] invented in China some 2500 years ago. To be better prepared for the coming magnetic mélange, you have decided to build a functioning SFC so that you can always find your way home. Of course, your SFC will be topped with an assbutt and your chariot will be modeled after a 1967 Impala.

123 / PHOTO / 81 POINTS / Everyone goes to visit the Southernmost Point in Key West, FL, but it really never gets to travel. We’re changing that. Make a 1:2 replica of the Southernmost Point and take it on holiday to the Westernmost, Northernmost, or Easternmost points of the US or any landmass. Take a photo with it at the nearest marker or tourist attraction to prove you were there, and submit with the location and coordinates in your comments.

124 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / Put your face somewhere it absolutely does not belong. Not a picture of your face. Your real face. In that place. Where it should NOT be! (Keep it clean. My mother will see this.)

125 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Senator Ted Cruz is worried about pirates in space. Seriously. He is. Well, we are pretty sure that his fears are well-founded. Let’s prove it to him: Show us space pirates in action. Tweet your picture to him at @tedcruz (and be sure to use the #GISHSpacePirates hashtag!)

126 / VIDEO / 71 POINTS / Last year we asked you to put wings on something that absolutely should not fly and prove that it can. One team (Team Schnitzeljaeger) made a pizza box fly. For this year, make a pizza fly (sans box). You may not throw it in the air, drop it, or fling it. It must attain flight through some mechanical means. Just the pizza. Not the box. The pizza must fly from near ground level to at least 50’ high and must travel horizontally at least 100 feet by any means. Must be edible and consumed after it lands.

127 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. The Dalton Highway stretches 414 miles from Fairbanks to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. About halfway along it, there is a roadside marker denoting crossing into the Arctic Circle. Send us a photo of you standing next to the marker. Having a moose in the picture is optional, but preferred. Being dressed as a moose is mandatory.

128 / PHOTO / 56 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. We’re creating the GISH International Forest! Go out and plant as many trees as you can and add your trees to THIS MAP. Once you plant them, you will become their stewards, so choose your location wisely: make sure you’re allowed to plant there and that the trees are native so they can flourish. Add a small, eco-friendly sign with GISH INTERNATIONAL FOREST, GISH.com and your team’s name on it. Submit your photo along with a screenshot of its place on the map and number of trees you planted in the comments. If you can’t plant a tree on your own for reasons of mobility, hospitalization, etc, a donation to OTP of at least one tree will suffice, but you still have to tell us approximately where they are and how many trees you planted and add them to our map.

129 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / This year is the 150th anniversary of the first Transcontinental Railroad, which opened up rapid (for the time) access across the United States. The original event in 1869 was celebrated as the Central Pacific Railroad locomotive “Jupiter” and the Union Pacific Railroad locomotive #119 came nose-to-nose as a Golden Spike was driven into the final section of track. Well, we firmly believe that every good anniversary deserves cake! Recreate the Jupiter, or #119, or both, made entirely from cake.

130 / PHOTO / 26 POINTS / A cyanotype photo of junk-food wrapping or junk-food.

131 / VIDEO / 61 POINTS / You have accepted a new position with the Mars Tourism Bureau. To attract potential visitors to the wonderful Mars climate, you plan to inform them of the daily environmental trends. Create a 15-second video weather report, complete with temperature and wind descriptions and get a real weathercaster dressed as an alien to report it on local news during a live broadcast. 

Note: Your Mars weather information must be real and correct for the day you submit your video! We will be checking!

132 / VIDEO / 132 POINTS / A very large balance scale. (The kind of old-fashioned scale that we think of when we say, “the scales of justice.”) On one side, at least 5 very wealthy-looking people. On the other, at least 5 very impoverished-looking people. The scales are tipped in favor of the elite. Find a way to balance the scales.

133 / PHOTO / 22 POINTS / Everyone talks about “viral videos.” We think we know what those are. Share a GISH video of a biological (not technological) virus and get it to go “viral” with at least 1,000 likes. It must include GISH.com in the video and text to count. #ViralVirus

134 / VIDEO / 81 POINTS / (UP TO 30 SECONDS). It’s time for GIFF - the GISH International Film Festival! Create a 30-second horror film. Noted author Neil Gaiman tweeted: “You've got a week to rob a bank using only a rattlesnake, radioactive uranium and a bottle of whiskey.” “Jed here has a week to steal a battleship using a goat, a can of gold paint, and three resin models of Warren G. Harding. Go!" Use either prompt as the plot of your GIFF film. Post your film on social media and be sure to tag #GISH and @neilhimself, then submit the video and the link to your post in comments.

135 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 51 POINTS / The aliens have been in Area 51 for decades. Why do they stay? Because of all the amenities, of course. Show us the leisurely life of aliens at Area 51: the best Retirement Community in the Universe! We want to see elderly aliens playing shuffleboard, mahjong, and bingo, getting alien spa treatments, doing tai chi and pilates... You get the idea. Post your submission to social media tagged #GISH, #Area51 & #SocialSecurityCheXFiles

136 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / COLLABORATIVE. Join the movement to cross-stitch what you care about: create a cross-stitch picket sign for a cause you believe in. Connect with at least 2 other teams and craft a protest march on a street corner. - Item Written By Misha’s Mom

137 / VIDEO / 38 POINTS / Megan Rapinoe reminds us all that despite equal skill, women are often not treated to a level playing field in business. Show us a team of female office workers playing soccer in traditional business attire opposite men with a ball that says “EQUAL PAY.” The women, of course, should score.

138 / PHOTO / 26 POINTS / The most stressful spa environment ever. - Lynette

139 / PHOTO / 126 POINTS / Recently, a mylar balloon from Disney’s Frozen was found on the bottom of the ocean floor… Clearly leftover from an undersea birthday party. Show us the underwater party, including the birthday person blowing out the candles on their cake. PS: Your mother doesn’t live there! DO NOT leave a mess or impact sea life.

140 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 37 POINTS / Now that Donald Trump is president, people around the world have squandered billions of man-hours talking/worrying/complaining about him. Have an economist calculate the cost to the global economy of these lost hours. They must show their work and be a professor of economics.

141 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Part of your job for the Mars Tourism bureau is managing PR. Design a brochure or poster that convinces people to visit our timeshare at Scenic Mt. gishwhes (on Mars).

142 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / We just celebrated the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. Prove it was faked.

143 / VIDEO / 91 POINTS / Thanks to modern technology, we can relax and watch TV virtually anywhere, even in the loo—but we still can’t kick back on the porcelain throne and relax while we do. Create a toilet recliner to solve this problem.

144 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / You thought they said, “Get Out the GOAT.” Be the Greatest Of All Time by co-hosting a voter registration booth with a goat.

145 / PHOTO / 70 POINTS / Mary Poppins and the Demogorgon from Stranger Things both loved hanging around in the Upside down! Create a convincing image of you having upside-down high tea on the ceiling with Mary Poppins and a Demogorgon. Post it to social media and tag the Stranger Things accounts and GISH. - Inspired by TessaMac

146 / PHOTO / 53 POINTS / Every year, I send Gishers to visit my grandmother at Roland Park Place retirement home in Baltimore, Maryland, and this year is no different. Visit her retirement community (or any nursing home or community near you) and help the residents escape—metaphorically, of course. Take them on a tropical getaway by staging an impromptu beach party! Between the hours of 1 PM ET—3 PM ET on Monday, July 29 and Wed July 31 only, bring flower leis, small flowers, pre-packaged treats (nothing homemade), postcards with kind notes on them and/or a ukulele or guitar to sing with them. Ask them to reminisce about the happiest summer vacation they ever took. (PS: No bathing suits and leave the sand home, please. Hawaiian shirts are fine.)

147 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 73 POINTS / COLLABORATIVE. The evening of Sunday, July 28 is the event of the year: the #WeJustMetGala! Get together with Gishers in your area at your local museum in the strangest, fanciest attire you can create—go so all-out, you make Billy Porter jealous. Roll out the red carpet and a banner, then convince strangers passing by to pose with you for red carpet pictures. Be fabulous! We must see the museum in the background, and there must be paparazzi.

148 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / You know that this is the 50th anniversary of Woodstock. But did you know that Woodstock the bird from Peanuts first appeared 2 years earlier? In 1967? So actually Woodstock the bird is 52. He’s drunk a lot of beer over the years and can’t hide it, but he is vain, so he’s had lots of work done. Tons of collagen and botox. He wears a toupee. He dyes his feathers. Show us what he looks like today.

149 / PHOTO / 81 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. A Jackson Pollock paint-by-numbers kit: before, and after it’s been painted. (No cheating- follow the numbers!)

150 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / A ukiyo-e woodblock print depicting an image of your worst nightmare. (Caption it so we know what it is.)

151 / PHOTO / 21 POINTS / You know how they keep making movies out of games? Like the Pikachu movie? Or Battleship: The Movie? Why don’t they ever go after the real money and make poems out of these properties? Write Battleship the poem, or Pikachu the poem. Must be at least 10 lines long.

152 / VIDEO / 63 POINTS / Birthday wishes are getting fulfilled so much faster since we automated processing. Show us a Rube Goldberg machine that is activated by a child under 10 blowing out candles on a birthday cake, and ends with the thing they wished for being delivered into their hands.

153 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / I said no more ponies in the living room, and I meant it! But unicorns are totally okay.

154 / VIDEO / 37 POINTS / It’s GISH University, Year 2! Each person on your team must attempt to learn a new skill they have never tried before and document the experience, including the first attempt.

155 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Thar’s plastic in them thar waters! A prospector panning for microplastics on a public beach. Craft jewelry from anything you collect and show it to us.

156 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Where do angels go for tea? To the sky garden, of course! Depict two angels having tea while seated on a cloud on the edge of the Liss Ard Sky Garden in Ireland. Photograph them from the central plinth so it appears they are hovering in the sky.

157 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / A hand-made kite that looks just like the face of that famous person you look up to, high in the sky.

158 / VIDEO / 249 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Oceanic exploration shouldn’t just be for the elite. Companies are working on making exploration affordable, but we need something now. Drop a camera and a light in a tiny, weighted, protected housing with a window on a line (so you can pull it back up). Just outside the window a common object filled with air. Like an aluminum water bottle, or a balloon animal, or something made of styrofoam. Lower everything at least 1000 feet below sea level. The camera should be rolling so we can see at what point your object gets crushed by the pressure of the ocean. You cannot contract a submersible company and cannot pay for this to be done—this is a DIY project only. Oh, and keep it green: you must retract the line or you will be docked points. If you leave any piece of this in the ocean, including the line, we’re docking you points.

159 / VIDEO / 7 POINTS / Right a great American novel. This is not a typo.

160 / PHOTO / 51 POINTS / The lunar ticks are in the hall… Pink Floyd knew what was up. Show us what the lunar ticks on the dark side of the moon look like (you know, because you have a specimen preserved in a jar in your front hall.)

161 / VIDEO / 81 POINTS / Thirsty for a challenge? Build a puzzle jug. Show you building it, then someone else figuring it out and successfully drinking from it.

162 / PHOTO / 77 POINTS / GRID. Thomas Deininger makes amazing representational sculptures out of found objects. Using EVERY piece of non-recyclable, inorganic trash you generate during the Hunt, create a 3-dimensional, representational self-portrait. EVERY member of your team must do this.

163 / VIDEO / 39 POINTS / Paint a Jenga set red, white, and blue. On each one write a word or phrase from the constitution. Get a real US Republican and a Democratic Congressperson to play (State or Federal). See how many they can remove before this whole thing collapses.

164 / VIDEO / 223 POINTS / “Fake news” was bad enough, but it’s pervading all media now and we can’t believe anything we see. Create a Deep Fake of Misha Collins complimenting Donald Trump. (We put this item in at the last minute after Misha’s final read-through of the list, so he doesn’t know about it. Don’t tip him off. We just want to see his reaction. You know, because he loves Donald Trump so much. This must be actual, digital Deep Fake footage (google it), not you in a mask, and not just a voice over or clever edit, to count. Video must be at least 5 seconds in length.

165 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / Apparently, once upon a time, the US government weaponized ticks. (Really.) Show us a pinboard with an example of a tiny, weaponized tick, complete with Rambo-style military gear and assault rifles.

166 / VIDEO / 43 POINTS / Love has no borders, and neither does fun. Show two people on opposite sides of an international border crossing or wall playing a game such as charades, Pictionary, or another game that does not require them to touch or pass goods across the border.

167 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. Last year, we suggested Gishers melt a message into a glacier or iceberg with a laser and received lots of complaints. We now recognize that people melting words into icebergs for scavenger hunts is one of the biggest problems facing our environment today. Have a climate scientist calculate the volume of water produced by, let’s say, 10,000 people melting eleven 6’ tall letters, 2” deep in an iceberg. Then have them calculate the amount of water produced by the additional melting caused by a .5 degree global temperature increase. Show us the numbers and analysis so we know how bad Misha should feel.

168 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / Check out a book from a local small-town library that hasn’t been checked out in at least 20 years. Submit a photo of you holding up the book with the stamped inner jacket showing the dates or other visual proof of this stellar feat.

169 / PHOTO / 159 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Tiny homes help those experiencing homelessness be a little safer and have dignity, but they’re hard to move around, and that presents a problem. Create blueprints for a Tiny Home that is durable and large enough for an adult to comfortably walk into through a door, yet can be folded down into a flat cart on with wheels for mobility and made of ultra-lightweight materials.

170 / PHOTO / 119 POINTS / Climb ev’ry mountain! Like most nuns, Mother Abbess was an avid climber. Show us a nun in a full habit, rappelling down a steep grade of mountain.

171 / VIDEO / 88 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds) Get a well-known sportscaster to do a play-by-play for a real wedding.

172 / VIDEO / 40 POINTS / They say that to perform CPR, you should compress someone’s chest to the beat of “Staying Alive” by the BeeGees. Get CPR certification while dressed in 70s disco attire.

173 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Gishers have become nationals of Westarctica and other micronations, but it’s time we claimed our own land. Since nobody else has done it, we’re officially claiming the Great Pacific Garbage Patch as New Gishlandia! Help us with our micronation building: Create a flag, a national anthem, a crest, a statue of our Founder or a propaganda poster (all material items should be constructed solely from plastic trash).

174 / VIDEO / 45 POINTS / The Gabra people of northern Kenya are a nomadic people who believe in living in balance with the environment and live by the tenet, “a poor man shames us all.” Mutual support is imperative in their culture, and no one is allowed to go without food, shelter, or hospitality—something the whole world could learn from. Take a page from the Gabra and go on a nomadic journey through your neighborhood, bringing with you as much food and water as you can carry along with cards with phone numbers and addresses for local shelters. Bring sustenance, hydration, and support to anyone in need you find, and document your journey including how far you traveled and how many people you helped along. Anyone appearing in the video must give permission.

175 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 41 POINTS / LOCATION-BASED. Do something you’ve always been told you can’t, or shouldn’t, do while at (or outside) the Forbidden Corner in Coverham, England.

176 / PHOTO / 68 POINTS / You look so festive with your “real avocado leather” purse or shoes made from avocado peels. - Inspired by Debbie M.

177 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Remember FloJo? Florence Griffith Joyner a world-record-setting Olympic athlete whose long, intricately painted fingernails made her an 80s style legend. Times marches on, and now instead of FloJo, we’ve got BoJo—but style trends endure. Paint a portrait of Boris Johnson, FloJo style—on your excessively long acrylic pinky nail.

178 / VIDEO / 28 POINTS / When you want to say something sweet to your loved one, you always use s’mores code.

179 / VIDEO / 90 POINTS / Walking on water is so 2,000 years ago--but it’s a timeless tradition. Construct shoes that allow someone to walk on water. You may not be standing on anything that’s under the water and the water must be at least 6 feet deep. You must be in a lake, pond, river or ocean. NOT a swimming pool. You must take at least 6 steps. No stilts in the water. No super shallow water.

180 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / Create a 6 ft by 6 ft painting using only your body, paint, and a white sheet for a canvas. Bonus points if you manage to create representational art. - Kamila B.

181 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / On today’s segment of your cooking show, we learn how to make your world-renowned recipe for dessert haggis.

182 / PHOTO / 16 POINTS / You know that feeling, when there's a word on the tip of your tongue but you just can't seem to say it? Show us that word. On the tip of your tongue. - @baileysaurusrex

183 / VIDEO / 31 POINTS / My favorite poet, Mary Oliver, passed away recently. In tribute, make a video showcasing the top highlights of your team’s week and end it with the quote “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” - Inspired by The Plaid Fox

184 / PHOTO / 63 POINTS / We've seen the pictures of dogs catching treats by German photographer Christian Vieler. Let's see a high-speed photo of your teammate catching treats in the same style and photographic detail. -Kandace

185 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / SIDE-BY-SIDE. Hasan Minhaj rightly points out that there are many places in the US (and the world) with offensive names. We’re all for a good Assbutt, North Dakota or ****, Michigan, but if it’s racist or marginalizes a group we’re opposed. Find a place on the map or a street name that celebrates a known racist or slave-holder or war criminal or simply a place name that uses a derogatory term and petition to have it changed to an inoffensive alternative. If you’re in the US, this is where you can start and if you’re abroad, seek out your local organization that manages names of cities, towns, and locations. Submit a screenshot of your proposal, then put your petition here so other teams can sign yours. Finally, make sure you sign at least 5 other teams’ petitions (you’ll find all the petitions here.)

186 / VIDEO / 35 POINTS / It’s not just for fine dining anymore... At a fast-food establishment, get a grill cook to create a McAmuse-Bouche and serve it to a waiting, unsuspecting customer.

187 / VIDEO / 104 POINTS / TIMELAPSE. In Japan, there is a fad of polishing aluminum foil into a perfectly polished ball. You just topped that with your wad of aluminum foil-turned-perfectly polished bust of your favorite celebrity. Tweet an image of the final product to your celebrity crush tagging #GISH, then submit the image and include the link to the tweet in the comments section of your submission.

188 / PHOTO / 69 POINTS / A menstrual Pad-alecki. Create a menstrual product bust of Jared Padalecki... and make sure his hair really "flows." Then, donate at least an equal number of products to a women's shelter. (We don’t have to see you donating: just include your donations receipt somewhere in the image by your sculpture.)

189 / PHOTO OR VIDEO / 49 POINTS / We're not saying the cast of Supernatural is hot, but your fumage portrait of a Supernatural actor or actress speaks for itself. Smokin'! (Be super careful with this one- and have a fire extinguisher at the ready just in case. Remember, GISH doesn't pay medical bills and you're not allowed to hurt yourself - or anyone or anything else. If you can't be sure of that, pick a different item. (Post your video to the actor depicted).

190 / PHOTO / 229 POINTS / Evolution of the selfie: A person with an iPhone taking a selfie next to a person with a point-and-shoot camera who is taking a photo of a person with a Polaroid camera who is taking a picture of a person with a 35mm camera who is taking a photo of a person with a daguerreotype camera taking a picture of a person with a camera obscura taking a picture of someone painting a self-portrait. This should be a single photo, not photos from each camera.

191 / PHOTO / 0 POINTS / We will post an ambitious charity item that we will all collaborate on together shortly. Get ready!

[panbaigel]

Look how CUTE AAAAAAAAAAA

@myherowritings 🤡🤡

This is for everyone in the Doing The Clown's Work GC🤡💅✨

[cowboy-garfield]

No I'm actually serious about this. Like yeah, I guess it's good for people making personal posts (put a pin in that), but this is the fucking reblogging things website. This is not Instagram. This is not Twitter. If you say some clown shit, you get kung pow penised. If you make a post, better make it count—that shit belongs to the masses now.

That's how it works. I don't know why people aren't talking about this more, but I feel like this is going to impact tumblr's culture significantly, and we're not even going to see it happening.

PVP aside, I think this is genuinely going to serve to isolate toxic communities like terfs even further into their own little echo chambers. Reblogging is a form of interaction on here; it's the great equalizer. But that ability has been revoked now with the ability for anyone to just switch them off.

Even if you post something with a link or screenshot to the OG, it's still not an infallible record. The op could delete the post, delete their page, change their username, etc. And that's not even getting into how this could impact post organization.

Now, I can absolutely see this being a change for the better if you weren't allowed to turn reblogs off AFTER you make the post. Like for the aforementioned people who just want to say personal stuff or what-have-you. If you go into making something with the initial desire that it not be spread, then that's valid, and I think it would be a useful tool. I think there should only be an option to create private posts. NOT an option to edit public posts to become private. Do you see the difference?

It's like if a store suddenly made a rule that anyone could return anything just because they have buyer's remorse; no other reason. If you say some messed up shit and get site-wide dunked on for it, or if your post blows up because of a funny interaction in the reblogs that goes down in Tumblr history or whatever, that's just how it is. It's literally how it's always been. You post at your own risk.

That's not to say I think Tumblr culture is completely going to die or whatever, but it's definitely going to be impacted. Think of how many posts you see, just daily, that are made iconic because of the conversational nature of Tumblr. Really think about it. Now, think of how many additional posts you see bemoaning the blowing-up of a post. Now everyone just has a stop-the-post button.

What if the ops of these posts had just decided they didn't like the attention and shut off reblogs years ago? Sure some people might take screenshots, but there would undoubtedly be much less of a cultural impact on the site. There's something about an actual post with thousands of notes that's more compelling to look at and share than a secondhand one; I know because I'm guilty of this bias. How much would be lost—that we weren't even aware of?

In the grand scheme of things, of course this is kind of a silly rant. Chocolate fountain bird is obviously no pivotal moment in history or anything, but I can't help but be sad for the fact that we're probably about to lose a big chunk of tumblr's.. spice. Culture. PvP. Whatever you want to call it. It makes things feel less sociable and more unrealiable. Again, I re-reblog things a lot, for organizational purposes or otherwise.

I've even seen perfectly mundane, funny posts that I wanted to reblog get shut off after seeing them on my dash—and for what? It may be a small piece of the grand scheme of things, but the staying power of stuff on this site has always been one of my biggest draws to it. @staff you've been knocking it out of the park lately, but this is one change I dislike quite a bit.

TLDR; while the ability to create un-rebloggable posts is a good idea, I think the ability to switch reblogs off retroactively is going to be a massive, unseen blow to the collective culture of Tumblr. I think it will also allow isolated pockets of toxicity to fester like a petri dish (eg terfs/radfems, alt right, exclusionists, science deniers, etc.) Because they will be able to put their rhetoric out there while dodging widespread backlash/awareness the minute anything breaches containment.

What's up with some posts not being able to be reblogged all of a sudden. It's pissing me off