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#this is really the only activity they did out of the studio or what?
cherrylng · 3 days
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Schwein interview - Sakurai Atushi and Raymond Watts [ROCKIN'ON (June 2001)]
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Schwein, the Japan-German-UK trilateral industrial music collaboration - what's the story here?
Interview: Shunsuke Kosugi, Interpreter: Yoko Utsumi
Schwein is a group formed by industrial heavyweight PIG's Raymond Watts, Raymond's former colleague Sascha Konietzko of MDFMK, and Sakurai Atsushi and Imai Hisashi of BUCK-TICK. The members are from three different countries: Japan, Germany, and the UK, but the three groups that have come together are known for their activities that transcend national differences. BUCK-TICK's extremely Japanese song world is carried by an unusually cool Western sound, PIG incorporates samba rhythms into industrial music, and MDFMK showed a stage performance at Fuji that was like a motor with an unusually high revving speed. Their debut album, "Schweinstein," is an unusually high-tension work in which the elements of the three collide behind Sakurai's song world. In any case, this strangely distorted and captivating industrial world is one of a kind. It is a strange work that could only be possible with the combination of these three artists. Above all, Sakurai's ability to draw both PIG and MDFMK into his world is amazing. Schwein, which differs neither from BUCK-TICK, which is active against the backdrop of the so-called Japanese music situation, nor from a Western music band, is worth a listen. We spoke to Raymond Watts and Sakurai Atsushi.
First of all, please tell us how you came to form Schwein. Raymond Watts (R): 「A year and a half ago, I did a Japan tour with BUCK-TICK in PIG. During the tour, I started talking to the guys about various things, and before we knew it, we went into the studio together and decided to do something. I also asked Sascha from KMFDM and he said, "Let's do it", and before I knew it, this project was born. Imai, the guitarist of BUCK-TICK, and I had been in a band called Schaft before, and whenever I went to Japan we would go out for sushi together and hang out.」
What do you like about each other? R: 「The BUCK-TICK song I remixed before was an interesting song and the work itself was a lot of fun. It was also interesting to see how confused everyone was about this collaboration. The connection between BUCK-TICK, who is very active in the pop scene, and me, who has been working underground for a long time, is certainly a strange one. But we actually have a lot in common. We have a similar sense of humour, for example, and we have a similar approach to our work. We both need to be satisfied with the best in whatever we create.」 Sakurai Atsushi (S): 「That was my main question (laughs). He's a successful person in America also. But Raymond is someone who is always looking for new stimulation. He's always angry about something, he's always frustrated, he's always trying to destroy something. Well, he told me he wouldn't work with anyone he didn't like.」
What exactly are these frustrations? What are you trying to destroy with Schwein? R: 「I'm frustrated with Japanese music listeners. I mean, in Japan, there's a tendency to treat their own music differently from foreign music. It's a really stupid thing. Why is there such a gap between listeners who buy Western music like Limp Bizkit, Rage Against The Machine or KMFDM, and listeners who buy Japanese music like Luna Sea or BUCK-TICK? I have a hard time understanding it. When I buy music, I never pay attention to where the artist is from. It's really stupid. What is the point of describing one art form as inferior to another? It's really stupid. For example, if we said that American music is inferior to British music, we'd be sued for discriminatory remarks. I can't even say that one country's culture is inferior to another's. It's just a Japanese complex. Well, it's not like I don't know how you feel. For example, in the world of cinema, British films are always treated as secondary to Hollywood films, right? It's the same thing, isn't it? I actually prefer British films. But that's because we measure things by American standards. In other words, they're just comparing the amount of money they make.」 S: 「I don't listen to it because it's BUCK-TICK, or because it's PIG, or because it's MDFMK, but I also want more people to listen to it.」
Now I would like to ask Raymond, what do you think are the characteristics of Japanese rock that are not found in other countries? R: 「They wear a lot of heavy makeup. Don't you think so too?」
Yes, I do (laughs). What else? R: 「That's it.」
(laughs) Raymond, please tell us what you think are the characteristics of Sakurai-san and Imai Hisashi-san, respectively. (?) R: 「When I play him my song ideas and backing tracks, Atsushi sees them from ten different perspectives. Atsushi is a singer in the true sense of the word. He can express himself properly through his songs. I've never worked with a singer like this before, so it's very exciting to work with Atsushi. And with Imai, I'm attracted to the fact that he doesn't treat the guitar as a guitar. All the guitarists I've played with so far play a traditional style, but with Imai, he plays gorgeous noises that you can't believe are guitar sounds. I'm constantly amazed by Imai's skills.」
Raymond doesn't understand Japanese, does he? R: 「Yeah, that sometimes messes up communication within the band. But it's an old saying, but in these situations, music naturally becomes the common language.」
With the album "Schweinstein," I think it's more of a clash of your own characteristics rather than an exploration of compromises between each of you. Was this something that you guys intended to do? R: 「No, it wasn't really my intention, but I knew that when the four of us went into the studio together, we could expect strange things to happen and that we should be able to produce some strange work. I'm really excited by this kind of heterogeneous combination, this mixture of disparate personalities. Because the result can be something so bizarre that you would never have thought possible.」 S: 「It's exciting in that I want change, Imai wants change, and of course Raymond wants change. But every day was a struggle, wasn't it? It was a good opportunity for me to clear out some of the naivety in me.」
What are your plans for Schwein's future activities? S: 「I think we all intend to do that, though. We have our individual activities, but deep down we want to stay connected.」 R: 「I want to continue working in the future. First, we'll tour Japan in June, and then we'll each go back to work with BUCK-TICK and PIG. But I hope we can work together again next year or so, if we feel up to it. But it's a decision we make for ourselves, not one determined by record sales. We were very lucky this time. That's because we had a record company that was willing to take the risk and pay for a project like this that we didn't know would be successful or not. All four of us took the risk. But what is success anyway? If we make something good, I think it's a success.」
Translator’s Note: I want to thank yoshiyuuki for helping me in clarifying certain parts that stumped me, the first being the title of the interview and then a particular question.
(?) This part of the question stumped me at first when I extracted the text, because when I put it into Deepl and Google Translate, this was the result:
“(笑) 櫻井さん、今井寿さん、それぞれについてレイモンドの思う特徴を聞かせてください。”
“(laughs) Sakurai-san, Imai Hisashi-san, please tell us what Raymond thinks are the characteristics of each of you.”
But then I saw that it was Raymond who answered that question, so I figured out what the question should actually look like and rearranged the words to form a sentence that made more sense. And then I asked Yoshi if what I've done was a better result.
Please do support me on my Ko-fi! ☕
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me-sploh-rada-imas · 3 months
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so nace did go to the kid kapichi concert with jan on 23/04 in knust!
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i couldn't find a good photo but this shows it well enough
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5sospenguinqueen · 5 months
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Lullabies | Max Verstappen x Singer! Reader
Summary: Six months ago, Max walked out of your life after a conversation about your future. When you find out he' ended up in a's dating Kelly - who has a child - you work through your emotions in the best way you know how; revenge music.
Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Miscommunication. End of a relationship. Max doesn’t look great in this.
Female reader with various faceclaims. Takes place in 2021 but timelines have been completely altered. Olivia Rodrigo songs.
Main Masterlist
next.
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Feb
YourUserName just posted
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liked by georgerussell63, bestfriend and others
YourUserName 'and i fantasise about a time you're a little fucking sorry'
12,326 comments
User 1 mother is in the studio, ya’ll. i'm smelling a new album
User 2 did their breakup destroy my soul? yes. do i believe the revenge album will heal my soul? absolutely
User 3 the working titles are so unhinged and I’m here for it
→ User 4 hit you with a car is so real
→ User 5 love that she called him evil whilst also saying that she wants him to drive off a cliff. we respect it
francisca.cgomes i’m SO ready for this. sure you can’t give me a little preview?
→ YourUserName stop trying to get me fired
User 6 sis disappears from social media for 6 months only to come back serving cunt
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2 months before
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May
redbullracing just posted
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liked by YourUserName, maxverstappen1 and others
redbullracing ANOTHER VICTORY FOR MAX VERSTAPPEN 🏆 #AustrianGP tagged: maxverstappen1, kellypiquet
7,445 comments
User 7 omg omg omg y/n liked. this is not a drill
User 8 was that last photo really necessary? she’s just a wag, she’s not actually part of red bull
User 9 not y/n liking 🥺 he broke her heart but she’s still supportive of his career
User 10 that should’ve been Y/N
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June
YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, victoriaverstappen and others
YourUserName 'you’re just a stranger i know everything about'
10,102 comments
User 11 not max liking despite not even following
victoriaverstappen so talented
liked by maxverstappen1
→ YourUserName thank you, vic x
→ User 12 not the former SILs interacting on main
alex_albon what's that sound? oh, it's just my tears
→ YourUserName doofus
→ lilymhe can confirm
User 12 and now my heart is breaking all over again. i miss the two of them so bad
kellypiquet just posted
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liked by landonorris, redbullracing and others
kellypiquet summer break with my favourites 🤍 tagged: maxverstappen1
4,387 comments
User 13 so pretty
User 14 goals
User 15 anyone notice max hasn’t been commenting since y/n became active again on socials
→ User 16 delusional
→ User 17 clearly they're fine if she's posting vacay pics with him
→ User 18 except these are clearly old pics because max had stubble at the gp like two days ago so...
→ User 15 @ user16 plus he always used to comment and this time he's not even liked the post
→ User 19 not to add fuel to the fire but they were also spotted arguing after his podium
YourUserName posted a new story
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Hi, guys. This part of the Baby Fever Angst series, which will include smaus for other drivers.
Daniel’s Version | Lando’s Version | Lance’s Version
Charles’ Version | Oscar’s Version
I have part 2 planned if people want it but also happy to leave it like this if people don't want them to have redemption haha
Tag List (I tried to include all those who asked. Sorry if you only wanted to be tagged in Part 2 to Daniel and not the other drivers, it got a bit confusing haha)
@lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @callsignwidow @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery
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Solomon's Seal
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John Price works hard to maintain his self-discipline, but sometimes he loses his grip on that fiery temper of his. When he needs help to feel in control again, he turns to you and your impeccable rope skills. You try to keep things professional, but that proves challenging for both of you. After all, John is just a friend, one of your best clients… so why do you keep imagining him as more?
TW: rope bondage, femdom, crying, emotional hurt/comfort, female genitals. Please check AO3 link below for full tag list.
Big huge thank you and kudos to the amazing and beautiful @gemmahale for her ideas and support on this one! Love you, bestie.
You had cleared your schedule the moment you hung up the phone with him. His voice had sounded so strained, like he was struggling to say the words. You knew that, sometimes, John Price’s work asked too much of him, but this time, he seemed so far beyond his usual level of need that you decided it was better to play it safe and cancel all of your other clients for the week. 
As you cleaned your studio, you made additional preparations. Something in your gut was telling you to prepare for the worst. You did your best to remember what he liked. No music, low lights, a soft fan for a bit of a breeze, and jute ropes — none of the synthetics in sight. You eyed your collection; eight hanks should have been enough, but you grabbed four more from the back room just to be sure. 
You never really pried into his life during his visits, knowing there was probably much he couldn’t or wouldn’t tell you. He had given you just enough information for you to understand the basics, and you had scoured the internet with those small clues to uncover the rest. At best, he was a soldier, handling the expected dangers and stressors of the job. At worst, he was a literal weapon, aimed and fired at His Majesty’s darkest enemies; a demon hunter meant only for darkness and secrets and pain. 
When he had come to you last November, bruised and battered, craving your particular set of skills, you had surmised that it was the latter. Sometimes, when you caught a glimpse of the news, you looked at the bombed buildings of Urzikstan for a sign of him, hoping you wouldn’t see one. When there was a battle lost or won, plastered across the front page of the news, you wondered if he had been there in the thick of it, protecting the world from the monsters that ravaged that land, keeping them from your privileged doorstep. 
You checked your clock. He’d be in from Heathrow within the hour. You got to work in the wet room, digging around for the soaps he liked best. His favorite bathing oil was a complex, spicy mix of coriander, basil, and bergamot scents. You’d never admit it to him, but you used it when you found yourself thinking about him, unable to get your equally complex, spicy warrior out of your mind.
John was so different from most of your clients. Many people who came to you were usually seeking something other than what you were prepared to give them. Half of your customers came for sex, for which you added them to your blacklist. The other half was a mixed bag seeking humiliation or reassurance, trying to use you and your art as an alternative to counseling or as a way to explore their kinks. They usually didn’t return after they experienced the level of your craft. You did have a handful of repeat clients who appreciated the practice itself, but they usually had their own partners to play with. You were just a novelty to them. An escape. 
Working as a traditional Bakushi was no fleeting hobby, not for you anyway. For you, it was a spiritual calling. John was one of the only clients who understood that and actively wanted to learn more. He had asked for stretching routines, breathing exercises, and advice on meditation. Your soldier was the real deal, even if he couldn’t remember any of the terminology to save his life. You were just happy he had managed to adopt the word shibari into his vocabulary. You could forgive the rest. He didn’t need to know the names of the knots or the positions of the body in order to benefit from his practice. 
Your doorbell rang. You took a breath to calm yourself. You needed to be centered for John. Yes, you were excited to see him, but he needed you to be his rock right now, and you needed to push your own desires out of your mind.
The door cracked open, and there he stood. He was just as you remembered him, but he looked like he’d been through hell. Those bright blue eyes were sporting a dark, purple shiner on his left orbital bone. He had cut his lip across the top and bottom, a red line still marring the sensitive flesh. John had cut down his beard to a more manageable level, but his hair was long and unkempt. What worried you most were the dark red welts he wore around his neck. It looked like ropeburn. 
“John,” you smiled softly, “So good to see you again. Please come in.”
The formalities of such a polite greeting seemed silly to you after what you had been through together. Sessions with John were always… intense. 
He stepped into your foyer, looking at you like he had missed you, but you didn’t allow yourself to give in to the fantasy. He needed you to be professional, and you had a job to do.
You took his hand and led him into your sitting room, offered him a glass of water, and sat beside him. He held your hand in his, refusing to let go, playing with the small bones in your middle finger absentmindedly. You smiled at him, enjoying the quiet of his presence, letting yourself take in these silent moments, unwilling to break the spell of peace until absolutely necessary. 
He seemed content to bask in the tranquility as well, happy to rub your delicate knuckle back and forth with his thumb, letting his eyes explore you, lingering on your long, silk robe, his gaze burning into your sternum at the join of your breasts. 
“How can I help you, John?”
He took a long breath through his nose, his eyes diverting back down to your connected hands; shame, regret. 
“I lost control, again.”
You had heard those words from him before. When he first found you, he told you about his temper. He hadn’t given you any details, but apparently he had hurt an enemy beyond what was necessary. Something he had done had changed him. He wanted to be different, to be more even-keeled, so he’d come to you for help. 
“The same as last time?” You asked, hoping it would be better than you suspected.
“Worse,” he looked up at you and flashed a tight-lipped, bitter smile. 
You squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. 
“Tell me what you need,” you ran your other hand across his wounded cheek, watching as the shine of his eyes gleamed in the low light. 
His emotions were at war all over his face. His wet lashes, the twitch of his lip, his darting, avoidant eyes; you could almost hear him fighting in his mind. You put a stop to it, scooting closer to him on the deep sofa, holding his stubbled chin in your hand, 
“Hey, you know you can tell me. If it’s within my power to give it to you, you know that I will.”
“I know, love,” he nodded his head, “I think you might try to talk me out of it, is all.”
You stayed silent, waiting for him to work it out. Rebuilding your trust together after some time apart wasn’t something to be rushed. Finally, after a few moments of thought, he studied your face and admitted his desires,
“I want it all. Just like last spring, but more. I need more.”
Your eyes widened before you could stop yourself. You remembered last spring. Vividly. In fact, you had thought about that appointment more times than you would ever admit. He had pushed himself so far, he’d trusted you so deeply, and you’d watched him heal from his wounds. He’d found a new kind of peace. You remember holding him, still bound, both of you sprawled across the floor, sweaty and grinning, your foreheads pressed together, sharing in his joy. 
But, you also knew that him wanting more meant that you would be restraining him from head to toe. He’d done arm and chest bindings with you, and in the spring, you’d put him in a single-leg frog tie. But, you’d never done full body work with him. For all of his progress, John still had issues letting his power be taken from him. He wanted to be in control, almost to the point of obsession, and it was only when he was in your ropes that he was able to practice internal control over himself without threat of judgment or danger. He could examine his temper in your safe setting, testing it like a scientist, finding new strengths within himself, mental hurdles to overcome.
However, you worried about what his mental state would be like when he was fully at your mercy. Had he ever been at anyone’s mercy? You doubted it. 
He could see you rolling over the problem in your mind, watching as you thought it through, imagining the possibilities. 
“What d’ya say, love? Think we can try?” His eyes met yours, and you nodded. 
“Yes, let’s try.”
“I might… uh,” he hesitated, clearly unsure of how his next request might be received, “I’m not sure how to say this, but I might need you… after. I know that’s not what you do, but after last spring, I thought you might make an exception.”
You were fully aware of what he meant. Last spring, laying there sweaty and swimming in euphoria together, you had broken your own rule. You’d let your body slide over John’s naked, tied form, and you’d rubbed his cock across your belly and on top of your pussy, sharing an orgasm together. It was reckless of you, and fully outside of the scope of your role, but it was what was right for you both at the time. He hadn’t asked for a repeat performance, always the perfect gentleman, until now.
You nodded, 
“Thank you for asking. We’ll see how it goes, and I’ll check in again at the end. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
You moved to leave the comfort of the sofa, but he caught your hand,
“Can we start now? Just a bit. If that’s alright.”
“Alright,” you agreed, “Any new injuries I should know about?”
His face stretched into a boyish smile,
“Too many to count.”
You shook your head, ducking into your studio to grab one hank of rope,
“You’re the only one who gets a pass on that, you know.”
You watched his eyes dart to your hands as you untied the bundle, looping the rope end over end, making your first bight. His energy was electric, but you could see something dark slithering underneath. 
“I’ll start now, but you need to talk to me. What makes it worse now, John?”
You stood in the middle of the room, watching as he moved into position in front of you. You waited patiently, not needing to give him instructions. John knew what you wanted from him. 
He avoided your question, going through the motions of preparing his body for your work. He tugged off his coat and tee shirt, raking it over his broad back, and you tried to ignore the aching red marks that littered his scarred skin. Then, he unbuckled his belt, letting the metal tip clatter and clang in the quiet room, dropping his jeans and peeling off his shoes and socks. Naked, he folded his clothes and lay them to the side. Then, he found his neutral position, kneeling at your feet, palms flat on his thighs, head bowed as if in prayer. 
“Hands behind your head, palm to palm,” you spoke your first command, listening to the timbre of your voice and knowing it was different. You were changing into the person that he needed; someone strong, unyielding. 
He complied, but he looked a little surprised. You’d never asked him for this position before, but you knew it would get his attention. He would feel the vulnerability of it immediately, his sensitive ribs and armpits exposed. 
You started your work, tying his wrists carefully, making sure to leave the proper amount of room, running the rope, rubbing between the soft jute and his hairy skin to check and double check it for safety. As soon as you had one wrist bound, you moved to the other and heard him begin to talk. 
“I nearly lost one of my men last week. Good bloke. Took a bullet for me, so I broke the rules.”
“Which rules?”
“All of them,” he looked up at you, rueful and yet unrepentant.
“Would you do it differently,” you admired the smoothness of his wrist, watching as his pulse beat just under the thin skin, rushing through blue veins, “If you could go back in time?”
“No,” Price’s voice was like that of a beast. A dragon. It was a short, simple word, but within it, you understood exactly the feeling of vengeance he was carrying within it. No, he would not go back and change his actions. He would repeat them. That much was clear. 
“It doesn’t sound to me like you were out of control, then,” you looped the knots of his wrists around a temporary harness, simple and quick. This was just for now. You had bigger plans for him after you bathed. 
John’s mouth turned up into a wry smile, thinking about your assessment, then he said,
“You might be right, love. But, I’m here. I needed this. Needed you. There must be a reason I feel so bloody lost.”
“Let’s find your way back, then. Stand up.”
You led him by the end of the rope to the wet room. The off-white tiles glowed yellow in the candlelight you had prepared, and as you turned on the tap, the room filled with steam. You watched John’s face become indecipherable as you untied the ribbon of your robe, letting the silk pool at your feet, stepping into the shower before him. 
You pointed to the small stool in the middle of the wide shower, 
“Sit.”
It was a huge installation. During the build process in your renovated space, you’d asked for two large rainshower heads and a massage wand with a flat drain in the center. John knelt in between the two heads, but well within reach of the wand. You switched it on, watching the water jerk and flow through the metal hose, holding it towards your chest and out of his eyes. 
You started with his feet, washing them with only warm water first before moving the wand up his legs, wetting his body in stages. You didn’t use your hands yet, but you were eager to. John was quite the specimen, and you felt yourself flush as your eyes explored his body, lingering on places they really shouldn’t. 
You were adamant that you were a sex worker who didn’t have sex. You tried to make it abundantly clear that your clients were paying for shibari practices only, and that you did not do… happy endings. Other than your encounter with John, your clients orgasmed alone, and you went to great lengths to ensure it remained that way. But, here was your weakness, asking you to wash him while he was in your knots, warning you that he might crave a sensual aftercare scene, that he’d been thinking about you. It made your skin flush, and even though you were comfortable in your own skin, his obvious desire for you in such a carnal way made you hyper-aware of your bare flesh. 
The wand sat back in its hook, water paused, and the only sounds were the quiet drippings against the tile, a slight sucking from the drain, your breathing. You scraped the soap into your palm, making sure to lather it into a rich, thick foam. You stood, walking around him to his back, and began with his bound hands and arms, rubbing his warm, swollen muscles with your palms, spreading the suds over him liberally. 
A long, animalistic groan shuddered through John’s lungs, echoing in the bath. It set your nerves on fire to know that you were giving him such pleasure. You wanted more. 
You moved to his back, massaging the scented soap into his body, working his skin firmly to promote his bloodflow. As you made pass after pass, his moans became steady and breathy, his mouth hanging open, unable to fight the relaxation he was experiencing. 
You washed his legs and feet, needing to bend over him in order to reach the length of his huge thighs. In doing so, your bare breasts came in contact with his back, only light tapping at first, swaying forward as you washed him. You could tell that he could feel you, and he froze, his noises of pleasure turning into hitched breaths, shocked and inaudible. 
Your clients usually washed themselves, but John had asked for special treatment, and this was a new experience for you, too. You tamped down on your excitement, but you couldn’t hide your nature. As you leaned forward to wash his knees and shins, ankles and feet, you had to press your soft tits and contrastingly taut nipples against him, over and over, like two inkless stamps, leaving impressions on his wet skin. 
Standing again, you waited to give yourself a minute to compose your emotions. The tips of your hair were damp, and your chest was shining from his soapy torso. You tried to wipe the shine away, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. He needed to be looking inwardly, finding his deeper meaning. Staring at your gleaming, sensitive tits was not what he was paying for, no matter what your biology might have wanted. 
You stepped around to his front, and you marveled at how big his frame truly was. While sitting, even though the stool was low, his eyes were directly in line with your furry mons. If he only tilted his chin up a little, he could lick…
Your mind clamped down on that thought like a vice. You breathed steady, kneeling before him and reapplying the soap to your hands, trying to refocus yourself on your work. 
That was proving more difficult by the moment. Washing his broad chest was like something out of a dream. His nipples were so responsive, and now you could see the way his face twisted with pleasure as your hands massaged your serums into his skin. Every swipe over his pink nubs make him gasp in a new pitch, his brow furrowed with desperation, but his eyes stayed pinned to the tile, just like he was meant to. You expected all of your subs to avert their gaze, to concentrate on their mind, and you made it clear that the practice would stop if they lacked the discipline to do so. 
You had never been more grateful for that standard, because if John’s sharp, pale blue eyes found yours right now, you might not be able to keep yourself from losing your own control. 
You stepped out of the shower for a moment, grabbing the tie from your robe, slipping it out of its loops. Then, as a way to anchor yourself, you wrapped it tightly around your wrist, twisting the knots you made so that they would face inwardly, the discomfort reminding you of your duties as his dominant. It would work for now, you hoped. 
Already, you could feel yourself coming back online, as if someone had splashed cold water in your face. That was, until you turned back to John and saw the last part of your process.
You peered down into his lap, hands full of creamy suds, ready to wash his belly and his nethers, only to discover that he was as hard as steel. His cock flagged tall and curved, tapping on his abdomen, far beyond his bellybutton, giving you a reminder of what was plaguing your dreams. It was beautiful. The uncut skin of his shaft folded around the rim of his ruddy head, eager to be slicked down so that you could tease the tip of him. His balls were round and full, hanging as he sat on the edge of the bench, and all you could think about was what delight was stored within them, ready to burst.
You focused on your knots, letting your one ribbon keep you grounded, and you finished the job. Your hands rubbed soap along his belly, fingers dancing through the thick happy trail of his lower abs. He was built like a workhorse, and although he was fit, his body was well-fed and wide, his core wide and protruding with his strength, thicker as he sat on the stool. There was no bodybuilder’s trim waist. He was all power, heavy and built for unimaginable destruction. You’d never seen his equal, nor a man even close to his immense form. If someone had told you John was one of Zeus’ many bastards, roaming the earth immortal and inhumanly large, you might have believed them.
“I’m going to wash the rest of your body. Remind me of your safeword so that I know you can use it,” you commanded softly, hearing your own voice bounce around the hollow room. 
John did not meet your eyes, fully committed to his submission, but you could see his cock pulse with anticipation. He spoke quietly but clearly, 
“Red.”
“Louder,” you instructed. 
“Red,” he obeyed. 
“Again.”
“Red.”
“Again.”
“Red.”
“Good. Stand up.”
You needed to make sure he was ready to proceed. John, experienced as he was, could get stuck in his sub-space just like anyone. So, you made him practice, let his mouth feel the word again and again, primed and ready to be used. 
Finally, you reached for his genitals, washing his cock and being mindful of where you spread the soap, scrubbing ever so gently down his ballsack, and then swiping across his cleft, washing through his legs to clean every last bit of him. 
Then, trying to be almost clinical about it, you washed him off, cleansing his lower extremities to ensure his comfort before hosing down the rest of him. 
Finally, you shut off the water and began to towel him dry, wiping at his dripping skin, trying to ignore how his body’s heat seemed to radiate onto your bare body, inviting you to lean just a little closer, to press into that lovely burn. 
But, you didn’t. You discarded the towel and untied your wrist cuff, leaving it with your robe. You reached behind John’s head and unbound the center knot of his ties, allowing him to bring his wrists to the front of his body like handcuffs. You used the end to lead him like a prisoner through your space, parading him to the studio quickly and quietly, eager to begin the main event. 
Once inside the studio space, you finished untying his wrists, setting him free once again. He looked down at them, running his fingertip across the raised ridges left by the ropes before dropping his arms to his sides, waiting for your instruction and guidance. 
You knelt next to your basket of rope, retrieving a hank from the stack and unwinding it. His eyes darted to your hands, watching you prepare it just for him, like a dog expecting a bone. 
“Lay in the center, arms at your sides,” you told him and watched as he followed your instruction. He was less hard now, more relaxed than before, but before long, as he lay there letting his excitement build, he strengthened again, his prick bowing up onto his stomach, flushed and full. 
You got to work. Your first goal was to put each of his legs in an advanced frog tie, turning his body on its side so that you could bind his ankle to his thigh, first one leg and then the other. Once his initial ropes were in place, you checked their tension, moving two fingers around and around, trying not to notice his mounting enthusiasm every time you brushed along his inner thigh. Then, once you were satisfied, you helped him into a kneeling position, pushing a thin buckwheat pillow under his knees for comfort. 
He shook his head, 
“Don’t need it, love. I wanna feel the floor. The pain… helps.”
You eyed him, turning your lips into a soft grin, 
“If this were a normal session, I would give that to you,” your tone got his attention, and he did look at your face now, needing to see your intent, “But, what I’m about to put you through is something different. Trust me, John.”
“I trust you.”
He settled into the pillow, returning to his meditative position. You took his hands in yours and held them between your two palms, squeezing them tight, binding them without rope for a moment. Then, you began to breathe in deep, cyclical patterns, over and over. He breathed with you, and you saw the tension leave his face. Whatever had happened to John on this last tour was plaguing him, and you slowed things down to give him a chance to control himself again. 
He breathed in with you, and his air rushed out with yours, washing over your skin like a summer wind, keeping your body responsive to him. Every now and then, as you meditated together, you caught his eyes fixed on something other than the floor. He was staring into the darkness between your legs, shadowed by your body and covered with curly hair, hidden from him in plain sight. It was hard for you to focus, knowing he had his mind on your body, but eventually, he averted his gaze, focusing inwardly again. 
Finally, when you felt his heart rate slow, you used another hank of rope to create a short waist belt, applying more tension than usual as you fed it along his hips, knowing his thick ass and thighs could take the pressure. Still, you were adamant about safety, watching him every moment for discoloration or discomfort. 
He was fidgeting now that the tighter straps were on him, and you saw him closing off his stance, bringing his knees closer together. You caught him, and used one of the loops on his thigh to pull his legs apart again,
“Spread them. Let the pressure flow through your belly and out of your center.”
“Aye,” he sighed, settling into the pain and doing his best to spread his knees wider, concentrating on the feeling. His cock was leaking now, leaving little dark marks on the canvas of his knee bolster, bobbing between his legs as he spread them wider, shining and wet. 
You grabbed another rope, trying to hone in on your work,
“I’m going to bind you in almost the same style we practiced last spring, but it will be modified to provide more of that challenge you’ve been looking for. Place your hands behind your back, palms on your elbows, if you can.”
Not every sub had the flexibility to obey, but John did. He’d been doing his stretches. As he assumed his position, his arms’ placement made his chest broad and high, stretching his pecs open while his back was pinned, the skin folding in on itself as his shoulder blades folded back like featherless wings. You threaded your rope over his shoulders, centering the bight at the back of his neck for an anchor point. It was essential that no pressure was applied to the front of his throat, and you were ever-mindful of the fresh injuries that marred his neck. 
“What happened here?” You asked, letting your finger pass under a rope that lay on his injured skin, making sure it was loose and gentle. You would give him tightness elsewhere. 
He was hesitant to answer you, but he shrugged,
“Bastard came up behind me. Before I could react, he had the wire around my throat.”
“Did you escape on your own?” You pried, trying to keep him talking as you started the long process of his arm binding. 
“Aye. He was so busy trying to choke me, he forgot I still had free hands and plenty of bloody knives in my belt.”
You praised him for his openness,
“Good.”
“Is it?” Now, you heard the doubt in his tone. It made you pause, but you simply continued with your ties, not allowing him to know that you were challenged by his cynicism or regret or whatever darkness was making him lean on his fear and anger instead of his peace.
You left his question unanswered, allowing it to hang in the air between you, forcing his mind to dwell on it. You needed him to answer it within himself before you went opening more portals to other emotions and struggles. 
You added more and more rope to his binding, and when you finished, you pulled the cord forward across his chest, resting it below his nipples, making sure to graze them as you checked your tension, enjoying the trembling shudder that came from him as your reward. It was the most advanced harness you had performed in a long time. This one was unforgiving. He couldn’t twist left or right. His shoulders were forced down and back, shrugged tight against his body, and his arms were completely powerless. He could pull and heave to try and move his hands away from his back, but there was no escape.
You sat across from John once more, holding his chin up so that he would know you expected him to look at you, and you asked him,
“Do you have any pain or tingling?”
“No.”
“Say your safeword to me one time.”
“Red.” 
“The next step will be the final rope, and then we can sit together for as long as you need. Do you want to continue?”
His eyes stared into yours with a bright clarity, and he answered softly, 
“Yes.”
You could tell that he was slipping deeper into his sub-space. His eyes softened, but his body shivered. If you brushed your fingers along his ribs, his muscles would kick and jerk. Anything harder, like a deep tissue massage against those huge thighs and he whined for you, smokey and gravelly, full of feral need. 
You moved behind him, taking a rope and placing it across his forehead, using your hand to tilt his head back until his eyes were staring at the ceiling. Then, you carefully crafted a face harness, making sure there was not too much pressure on his more delicate bones while still limiting his range of motion so that he was forced to keep his chin pointed up. 
You connected the rig to an anchor point on his wrists, and then you took your position in front of him again, staring at his bearded jaw and injured neck, watching his body struggle to relax into a very uncomfortable pose. 
“Breathe for me, John,” you knew it was a lot. 
Controlling someone’s body was one thing. Even Price had experienced tight knots before, but when you took control over the head, that animal instinct all humans keep deep within themselves tended to come alive. It was a primal fear. You watched John’s chest rise and fall, his stress tumbling around in his breaths as he tried to stay calm. 
You reached out both of your hands and rested them on his chest, feeling the way he jerked at your touch, overstimulated and sensitive. You pet his fur, the thick brown hair that dusted his body, soft from the oils you had used. As he breathed, you felt it moving in his lungs, and you let your fingertips ghost over his nipples, rubbing them with the backs of your knuckles, admiring the way they perked up at your attention, puffy and swollen from the unforgiving rope that made them bulge outwardly.
“Mmf–fuck,” he coughed, his eyes knitted into a worried sort of agony.
You smiled, bringing your own nipples towards his chest, letting your soft peaks brush against his hard ones, moving your breasts up and down, drawing little circles and crosses over his chest. 
You knew he couldn’t see what you were doing, but he could feel it. He knew, instinctively, and it was sending him into a drunken daze. The pleasure of your touch combined with the pain of your ropes pushed him beyond where he had been before, and perhaps it was past where you had dared to go as well. 
“Control your breaths, John. There is nothing else you are responsible for. I’ve taken it all from you. You need to breathe and to spread your peace through your mind. Focus.”
He didn’t respond, but his breathing stilled, and his eyes closed. You removed your touch from him and let him bask in the sensations he was experiencing. 
Minutes passed, then more. It had been almost an hour, and you were admiring the way he stayed strong, at first. You reached out to him to anchor him when he seemed like he needed help, caressing his arms and back, massaging the muscles that must be burning white hot by now. He was much more determined than any other sub you controlled. If anyone could handle this difficult position, it was him. But, he was not invincible. You saw the way his breathing became labored, and his cock, which was losing and regaining its hardness as time went on, throbbed from its struggle. 
“Do you want to continue?” You asked again, touching him as you had before, moving your hands from his chest to his belly, petting him rhythmically, avoiding his phallus but touching everything else around it. You knew it must have been teasing him, forcing him to imagine how your hands might feel if they reached just a little further. 
“Yes,” he admitted, his voice strained due to the position of his jaw, and you watched the bulge in his neck bob up and down.
More time slipped by. Your hands had wandered down his legs and across the soft pads of his feet. His body was buzzing with the energy he was spending in order to stay the course. He must have been far beyond simple pain at this point. You remembered a similar scene you’d experienced, and this was much longer than you ever expected to be in it. If John was anything, he was stubborn. 
But eventually, you heard him speak, 
“We knew it was a trap before we went in. I was reckless, and angry, and I wanted my fuckin’ revenge.”
He paused but you just kept up with your massage, rubbing him down, letting him know you were still there. He continued,
“That bastard was gonna shoot me,” John’s voice cracked from his despair, and you saw shining tears stream down his temples and into his hair, “It was me that he wanted. Then, my… one of my men, he jumped right in front of the gun and took the bullet for me. I thought he was dead. I thought I was, too. But, after… I left my team. Charged in alone. I did things to those men that I'll have to think about for the rest of my bloody days. I became… something else. Something… “
You wiped the tears from his face, petting his cheeks, letting your thumbs brush over his lips gently. He sighed, and you could feel his breath on your fingers,
“It wasn’t right. I knew better, I just wanted them to bloody pay. Wasn’t sure if I was going home with a fuckin’ medal or my papers. Didn’t care.”
There was a long pause, and then, his voice became small. His eyes were still fixed on the ceiling, but they were wide, full of fear and uncertainty,
“Am I a monster? Is that… Is that the real me? Who am I? What am I?”
You leaned forward and planted delicate kisses across John’s stretched neck, licking and sucking at his skin in very light, careful touches, tasting his wounds and trying to heal them.
You sat back, removing yourself from his body, letting him sit alone for a moment before you said,
“You are a human being. You are capable of love and hate, pleasure and pain. You might feel like you need to answer for some of your violence, but your own humanity is not defined by your actions. You believed that was the path you needed to take. You destroyed dangerous men before they destroyed you. That is not a monster. A monster destroys the innocent. Were those men innocent?”
“No,” he snarled, full of spit and ire.
“They made their own choices. They controlled their own lives. Your perception of your own control is too broad, John. You couldn’t save them. They didn’t need saving. You did. It was you who needed to be saved.”
“I should’ve been able to stop… to stop… stop killing. I couldn’t. I needed them to burn for what they did to my fuckin’ soldier. To my friends! Fuck!” 
John was gasping now, too full of emotion to control his breath, releasing his stress in deep, bellowing grunts. You unfastened his head harness immediately, freeing him. The instant he could move, he let his head fall forward and placed his cheek on your breast, stretching himself as far as he could, hoping you would be there to catch him. 
And you were. You held him in your arms, wrapping your own across his many knots, feeling the fibers of his ties and the smooth warmth of his body, separate but unified. You could feel his wet cheek upon your skin, his anger rolling off of him in waves. He was letting out each breath as an exhaled hiss, the fire in his eyes at full peak, a blazing rage that seemed like it would suffocate him. 
You picked up his head in your hands, resting your forehead on his and told him, 
“Let it go. Just like that. Scream. Let it out of you, John. Forgive yourself.”
He let himself go for a moment, howling like a wild boar, full of unnatural rage and pain. You heard his shouts and tucked them away from your heart, keeping them for later, choosing to just let him express it and have his crashing waves of feeling wash over you, but you refused to drown in it. He still needed you. 
“Do you forgive me?” His plea was that of a boy, innocent and achingly pure. 
“I forgive you,” you replied without hesitation, “Forgive yourself, now.”
He shook his head back and forth, rubbing his face on yours, bitter and despondent, 
“I can’t…”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m telling you to,” you barked, grabbing him at the base of his skull by his hair, forcing his head back into that same bent position, holding him by force, “Trust me, John. Say it out loud. I forgive myself. Say it. C’mon.”
“I… forgive...” 
“C’mon. I know you can do this,” you used both hands to hold his head under your control, your chests pressed together, your breathing equal and ragged, both of you pulled to the end of your abilities.
“I forgive myself.”
“Again!” You gasped. You tugged at his nape, forcing him to arch his back with what little movement he still had access to.
He grunted in response, breathing heavy, each exhale a guttural shout,
“I forgive myself.”
“Good. So good. Let it out. Use the pain; let it wash you clean.”
You let his head come forward, and you saw a new man staring back at you. Before you knew what was happening, you felt your lips crash together with John’s, sliding along his mouth, tasting him and being tasted by him. His tongue slipped into the hollow of your palate, folding and twisting for more and more control, taking you into him as much as he could manage. Then, he pulled away abruptly, resting his forehead against yours again,
“I’m sorry. I just… I feel…” You watched him search for the words, “I feel like I’m back. It’s been so long, but I can feel myself again.”
“What do you need?”
“I need you,” he tilted his head, exhausted, sitting back on his heels, his face a serene picture of peace, “I need you to touch me, like this. Please.”
You looked at him for a moment and then moved your hands between his legs, finding his warm rod waiting to be held. As soon as your fingers touched him, his whole body convulsed, and he cried out at the sensation. 
You began to rub his shaft with long, slow strokes, avoiding his head for now, finding a nice, easy rhythm, encouraging John to match your breathing. He did, stealing kisses when your faces were near one another, and eventually, you were nose to nose, sharing your breaths again, listening to the rush of air and the wet slick sound of his tacky precome being spread all over his length. 
You reached behind him and grabbed another bolster, putting the soft pad behind his back. Slowly, you helped him lay down onto it, knowing his arms would be crushed by his weight, but making sure the stress was something he could stand. His legs were spread wide, fully pliant and open to you, and you sat between them, bringing your hands back to his center, working his curved shaft up and down, watching as his belly filled with air, expanding from his breaths, only to collapse again, the muscles within him clenching and releasing in an undulating pattern of lust and need.
“Oh, fuck,” he bit his lip, wrenching his eyes shut, “Please… I need… Bloody hell, I need you, love. Please.”
“Are you sure, John?” You tried to check in with him, ignoring your own desire to immediately fulfill his wish, your pussy swollen and dripping in anticipation. 
“Yes. I want you to take me. Please.”
His eyes looked up at you, his body bent and bowed, sweet and desperate for you, looking to you for his pleasure.
Carefully, you straddled him, feeding his head between your legs, sighing with joy as his tip slotted into the soft divot of your hole. He couldn’t thrust up into you. In fact, he couldn’t participate at all. You were the only one who could bring him pleasure or bring him pain, and that thought made your head rush, making you dizzy with desire, knowing that this man, a ruthless killer, mysterious and brutal, steady and kind, all of what he was — he was helpless beneath you. 
As you sank down onto his girthy tip, your body ached from the stretch. It was an effort to fit him inside of you, and you breathed through it, wanting to push yourself flush to his hips. When you met his warm root, you shared a loud moan together, the relief overwhelming you both. 
Then, you used your hips to make grinding, wide circles, churning his cock within your core, making yourself even more soaked, feeling your movements sending repeated signals to your cunt to make more and more slick come. It seemed endless, and it pooled out of you, matting his hair and drowning his dick in hot, sticky fluid. 
He was grunting softly at the apex of each circle of your hips, his voice hoarse and full of want. You heard him wanting more, wanting you to hump him up and down, to slide yourself along his cock from root to tip. But, you were in charge, and you set the pace. So, you continued, around and around and around in an impossible spiral, using your hands to play with his nipples, pinching them cruelly, positioning them under the tight rope to make them ache to be free. 
“Ungh, fuck! You’re fuckin’ soaked, love. Feels so bloody good.”
You smiled down at him, refusing to take his bait, knowing he was beyond ready for more. 
Sure enough, he began to beg you, his skin flushed and his heart beating hard from being edged by your grinding,
“Will you fuck me… please? Just… I need… fuck, I need more. Fuck me, please! Oh, fuck…”
“Shh. Be good for me, John. Trust me.” 
You stayed the course, rocking your hips around his base, never letting him thrust in and out, just winding yourself around him like a tight spool, pushing him to his breaking point. He felt so good inside of you, and his cock was so deep, you could feel the turgid body of his shaft if you pressed down on your lower belly, your fingers finding his outline through your skin and muscles and fat, your hands making indentions in your flesh, teasing him from the outside. 
“Cut me out,” he snarled, straining against his bindings hard enough to hurt himself.
You peered down at him, slowing your hips to a glacial pace,
“You know your safeword, John.”
“Cut. Me. Out.”
His eyes were vicious when he looked up at you now. He was like a hungry wolf; his gaze held within it a dark promise that — if you cut his leash — he would destroy you. 
On one hand, your body celebrated that realization. It was eager to be devoured by this monster of a man, but you had worked hard to control your primal urges, and you decided to put your hound back in his cage. You let your hand snake around his throat, squeezing where it was safest, digging in your nails for him to feel your threat more vividly, knowing it would hurt him against his healing wounds,
“If you want to stop, say the word.”
You waited, watching his tortured face, panting and wet from tears and sweat, but he remained silent. You licked your lips, 
“You came here for a lesson in self-control, and I am your teacher.”
For the next half hour, you made sure John Price understood who was in control of his pleasure. You sat on his cock, rocking back and forth until you felt his body tense up, and then you pulled yourself off of him, leaving his throbbing prick out in the cold, tapping at your ass cheeks, begging to be let back in. 
You ignored him, touching yourself with your fingers, using the chubby flesh of his lower belly to rub against your cunt, smearing your wetness all over him as you played in your hole. 
Then, you would put him back inside and start the process all over again, grinding and stopping, grinding and stopping, until your mighty sub was whimpering for release, his balls tight against his core, ready to flood you with his come at any moment. 
Finally, when you saw how fuck-drunk he was, coming in and out of consciousness like he’d been drugged, you decided to relieve him of his burden. You caught his eye and made sure he knew what was coming. Immediately, you had his full attention. He began to chant, hoarse and rasping under his breath,
“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck…”
You let the anticipation build, slipping your pussy over his head in feather-light swipes, letting your folds tickle his cockhead mercilessly. Then, you began to bounce your hips on his cock. 
“Ungh– love, I’m —” he growled, his words breathless and broken, unbridled. 
“I want your come,” you confessed, getting lost in your own pleasure, “I want it in me… Deep. In. Me,” you changed your tone, tightening your grip on the nape of his neck as much as you dared, “And I’m going to take it from you.”
“Holy fuck,” he whispered, his eyes locked onto yours, shining with fresh tears, overstimulated and raw. 
Then, you saw the relief smooth across his brow, and you waited for a breath before you felt it, spearing yourself on him to his hilt, plugging your cunt so that his come would be plugged up inside of you, filling your emptiest parts, making them warm and swollen with his spend. 
You felt him bursting inside of you, his girth stretching you every time he throbbed, spraying inside of you over and over, dumping his load into your soft hole. When you felt him finish, you began your grinding circles again, causing him to roll and twist, aching from the pleasure and pain. 
“Nngh… love, please… can’t… I can’t…” 
You yanked the slip tie out from under his shoulder, and suddenly, he had control of his arms again. You did the same to his legs, freeing him from your ties, ending his captivity. 
Like a flash, he erupted upwards toward you. His hands went to your hips, sitting up to hug himself around your body, crushing you to his chest and forcing you down into his lap, spearing you on his sensitive rod as if you had planned to pull him out. His mouth savaged your breasts, biting them cruelly, his fingers holding you tight enough to leave you bruised. 
You grabbed his face, holding his bristled cheeks in your hands again, bringing him up to kiss you. You pressed your lips to his as delicately as you could manage, trembling from your bliss. He kissed you back, and that’s all you did for what felt like an eon. Your mind swam through a blank, glittering cosmos, and the only thing that was real was the feeling of John’s mouth on your mouth and his sex on your sex, his hands on your body and your hands on his body, his pain and your pain, his love and your love. You and he were muddled together like pigments on a palette, jonquil and fuschia, no longer existing as one or the other and yet both smearing together, mixed and inseparable, ready to paint a bright, endless sun. 
You had melted, it seemed, under John’s sweating, heaving body. His ribs bullied into your belly every time he took a breath, and his cock had softened so that it slipped away from you. Your body ached for its comfort again, every nature-made part of you punishing you for losing it, coaxing you to do anything to get it back, to fill the space left vacant. You were tucked into his chest, folded and hiding beneath his chin, rubbing at the flat of his sternum with the back of your hand. 
His finger brushed a stray curl from your brow, touching your hair with respect, staring down at you in awe,
“My hero,” he purred. 
You smiled, kissing the stubble on his chin,
“Am I, now?”
“My head…” He stared up at the ceiling again, going to it for comfort like a long lost friend, “It’s so quiet. So clear. You’ve done that for me, and I’ll be thanking you for the rest of my days.”
“I’ll always be here for you, John. You are my muse in more ways than I’ll ever admit,” you laughed breathlessly, a little sad. It was bittersweet, falling in love with a man you couldn’t have. But, you found yourself in him and now you would need to work out how to live without that mirrored reflection. You felt linked to him, two unbroken cords looped together like Solomon’s seal, inseparable and yet laid on two disparate paths. 
“Don’t…” He said, his tone sounding even more sorrowful than yours.
You sat up on your elbow, bringing your face up to his to look at him, to see his emotions, 
“What?”
“Don’t make me hope.”
“What do you hope for?” Your voice fell into a whisper, your heart not having the strength to ask your question aloud.
He matched your tone, purring out his confession with a tired but cheeky grin,
“For a woman who can bring me to my knees,” then, his expression turned serious, and his eyes traced his finger as he played with the stray curl he had found, studying its winding path, “For a healer. Someone who can remind me of who I am. Everytime I stop to catch my breath, I’ve been hoping for you.”
Your heart stuttered, knowing that he was not a man to settle down in one place. You looked down at his chest rising and falling with his breath, matching your rhythm, unable to meet his eyes,
“How long can you stay?”
He put a thick finger under your chin, just as you had for him during his session, making you meet his gaze, 
“Let’s start with tonight…”
He planted a soft kiss on your left cheek.
“...then tomorrow…”
His lips kissed your right cheek, dragging hungrily across your skin, 
“...and all the tomorrows that you’ll give me. I’ll take them all, if you let me.”
John placed his final kiss on your open mouth, lips parted, concentrating on what he was saying. You smiled, kissing him back in earnest, 
“Tonight, then. And tomorrow.”
“And tomorrow,” he nodded, smiling brightly, rolling himself over you to shield you from the chill of the room, folding you into his darkness, safe, bound to him without a cord, knotted together without a bight, tangled for however long the strands would hold.
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AO3 Link --- Thank you for the kudos!
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cordeliawhohung · 6 months
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pornstar!gaz because my brain cannot control itself. unedited because i'm a whore
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Whoever turned the AC up in your dressing room was going to get an earful of it when you were finished with your makeup, because you were certain you were going to freeze to death. Really, it made sense why they turned it up so high. Studio lights got very hot very quick while filming, and with all the... physical activities that would be shot, stars were known to pass out if it got to hot. But not even the warmth from the bright vanity lights could defrost the ice forming on your skin, and you tried to keep your hands from trembling as you applied your foundation.
Or, at least you tried to tell yourself you were only shivering. You were filming with Kyle Garrick that day, after all.
You'd seen his videos. You always made it a habit to sleuth through the history of anyone you were going to be on set with just to see what you were dealing with, so it wasn't like he was anything special. Except he was. He was the sweetheart most viewers fell in love with, and the darling of the film studio. Half of the income the studio made last year was from the videos he was, which meant the video you were about to shoot that day was certainly going to be viewed at least a few million times.
It was easy to see why. He was attractive enough to draw in a female audience, and even you had to admit he was rather pretty. Even if he wasn't, his voice was alluring enough he could still draw in an audience just by dirty talk alone. Men enjoyed his skills and how he could seem to draw orgasm after orgasm out of his co-stars. Theoretically, anyway. Female porn stars were the best actresses in the world.
As you dipped the tip of your finger in the basin of your highlighter, a soft knock rapped at the door. You threw a cautious glance at the door as you rubbed the highlighter on the tip of your nose. It was unusual for someone to bother you while you were getting ready. It wasn't like makeup was all that important when it would get smudged on every surface imaginable half an hour after application.
"Come in," you hummed.
It was difficult to act distracted when Kyle Garrick, the bastard himself, walked into your dressing room. He was even more beautiful in person. Cameras could never quite catch the warmth of his skin or just how easy and intoxicating his smile was. What made it worse was that he wasn't at all bashful. No, he was completely confident as he strolled into the room and shut the door tight behind him.
"What's up?" You tried to act nonchalant, but if anything you were a little weirded out. Never in all your time in the industry had you ever had your partner enter your dressing room like you were school girls gossiping in the bathroom during passing period. Still, he kept his distance, which eased your nerves a little, yet did nothing to quell your confusion.
"Just figured we could have a chat before the cameras start rolling," he answered simply.
"A chat? You make it sound like I'm in trouble," you teased.
He chuckled at your comment, and you swore you could feel the way the waves of it shook your chest. "Not at all. I just always feel more comfortable getting to know my partner's do's and don'ts."
Comfortable? Like some sort of debrief? You couldn't say you ever had someone come to you about boundary setting before a shoot (not when you filmed with men, anyway) but you had to admit, the idea was rather refreshing. Giving him your full attention, you placed your makeup back in your back before gesturing to the seat next to you.
He took the seat without hesitation, and you tried not to be jealous at how poised he was in doing so. He treated you as if you had known one another for years rather than seconds, and he slouched back in the chair like he was right at home. An odd lump formed in your throat when you noticed how wide he had spread his thighs, and though you were sure he was used to it, you tried your best not to stare.
"Alright then," you prompted. "Shoot."
A warm smile bloomed on his lips as he leaned his arm against the counter. If you hadn't known any better, it felt like the two of you were just hanging out rather than getting ready to fuck one another in front of the cameras and a half full studio.
"Tell me what you like," he said with a nod.
You shrugged. "The usual stuff. I'm pretty vanilla, honestly."
"That so? Or are you just not wanting to get so deep so quick?" Kyle teased with a boyish smirk.
"Deep? I'll probably have your cock in my mouth in the next half hour, I think we're a little past acting shy," you retorted playfully.
That got him to laugh. Not chuckle, not some deep hum in his throat, but truly laugh. So much so that he leaned forward and had to readjust his position.
"Right, well part of the job isn't it?" he said with a tilt of his head. "Well then, what about hard no's, then?"
You hummed as if you had to think about it, but in reality you were well aware of your boundaries. Having them usually meant very little in that line of work, but if your partner asked about it so casually, you might as well be honest.
"Degradation. Not a big fan of it. Or slapping," you admitted simply.
Kyle nodded in understanding. "Right, so praise then?" You nodded. "And no slapping. What about spanking?"
"That's fine. Just nothing hitting my face."
"Right. So, no pain play?" he asked.
"Well, I'm not a total normie," you joked.
"I'll keep that in mind."
A small stretch of silence settled between you filled with nothing but the dull hum of the AC unit, which suddenly felt like wasn't working as well. His eyes studied you carefully, remaining surprisingly intent on your face rather than anywhere else. There was a delicious richness to their color that made you feel like you would get lost in them, and maybe that was his intent. You quickly broke eye contact with him before that could happen.
"What about you? We've been focusing mostly on my desires," you said in an attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere.
"But that's what I like. Focusing on you," he admitted.
Kyle caught sight of the slight quirk of your brow at his comment, and quickly amended his statement.
"My partners, that is. Whoever I'm on set with. I like doing the work. As long as you're having a good time, so am I," he concluded.
He didn't have to tell you that much, you were able to gather that from the videos he filmed. His grunts while eating his co-stars out, the way a smile always seemed to tear across his face whenever they came, fake or not; he truly did seem to be a pleasure dom. You were excited to see if that theory was correct.
"Any hard no's then?" you asked.
"None that you'll be able to push," he replied.
Your brows raised incredulously at his comment. "Underestimating me?"
"Not at all. I just plan to have you so fucked out you won't be capable of much," he admitted.
Those sickly teasing words of his left your mind completely blank, and you weren't sure why. Was it the prospect of it? The tone of his voice? Whatever it was, it stole the words off of your tongue, and the only response you were capable of mustering was a slick grin.
"Well, I'll let you get back to it," Kyle said as he pushed himself up from the seat. "If you think of anything else between now and then, let me know."
"Will do," you said, chest quaking with breathlessness.
Just as he was about to leave, Kyle paused for a moment with his hand loosely on the doorknob. His body turned to you, just enough so that he could glance at you from over his shoulder. Except his glance wasn't something quick and innocent; no, it was the first time you caught him giving you a full once over as if he inspected his meal before eating it.
"Excited to work with you, doll," he said with a slight lick of his lips.
When the door shut behind him, you let out a breath like you finally got your lungs to behave properly again. You felt like you needed a cold shower after that conversation with him, and had you not just put on your makeup, you probably would have. A thick layer of sweat formed on the palm of your hands, and you cursed to yourself as you wiped the moisture off on your shirt.
"Jesus christ," you muttered to yourself.
Perhaps you shouldn't have complained so much about the AC after all.
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bangchansgirlsblog · 8 months
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Ive been imagining this and ik its weird BUT ot8 skz being perv and so obsessed to fem 9th member.. Like they get super jealous and the fem readed being a people pleaser like she cant say no to her friends and cant stand seeing them sad so when the members started to became sexually touchy w her they used that against her and be like "dont u want to see us happy? We've been tired and we just want to relieve some stress.. I thought u can help us.. I guess not" and they pretend to be sad abt it and the reader just felt guilty for not helping her friends so she lets them touch her which led to smut KDNDJFKDJ its weird but idk i die for these kinds of fics
Hands on me?
Warning: Angst, sexual activity, manipulation?
Pairing: polyOT8 x reader.
Summary: Don’t you wanna see us happy baby? They said as they slowly peeled her clothes off.
AUTHORS NOTE: this has been in my requests for a while and I write this when I first started off SO it’s not good at all BUT I’m going to write another one using this same request cause I have another idea AND this was in my drafts for a while so I’m dropping it to clear it.
I hope whoever requested this, enjoys it 🥰
**
"Baby?!" She heard someone call for her from the living room. 
"I'm in here!" She replied. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she was currently wearing shorts and a croptop with no bra on making her look yummy.
She heard a bunch of voices start piling up in the living room meaning that the boys were back home.
A small smile creeped up on her face as she continued to wash up the dishes she had used to cook dinner. She made a big dinner because at the end of the day she was feeding 8 of her boyfriends who were also MEN. 
"Hey love," Han walked into the kitchen. His hair was in a hat and he had his normal hoodie and cargo pants on. "Are you feelings better?" He asked while taking a few steps towards her until he towering her. His breathing was heavy probably from the flight of stairs.
"Mmm, yeah. Just been a long day that's all." She sighed and looked up at him. He had a pout on his face making her coo at how adorable the boy was.
"I missed you," he said in between kisses. 
"Missed you too momo," he rested his head on her shoulder she continued to finish the dishes.Han was always clingy, not more than Felix but it was more than the other boys, that was for sure.
As she finished up she felt His hands slowly wondering around her body then slowly landing on her ass. oh, makes sense. He was horny.
She did love every interaction with her boys, she really did but today she wasn't in the mood at all. She was tired and she had a horrible headache from work. having sex was not on her to-do list but a nap was.
"Do you want me to take care of you?" He whispered in her ear causing shivers to run down her spine. She was sad because she was going to turn him down and she knew how stressed all the boys were, he just wanted have fun.
"Maybe not right now momo, I'm not in the mood," She told him while finishing the last of the dishes and drying her hands. He pouts and lets out a small whimper.
"Have you eaten yet?" She asked him changing the subject.
"Not yet no," he frowned.
"Okay then sit, let me call the other guys to come eat too," She encourage him, "and don't forget to put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket," She tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss before going to the living room to find only Changbin sat while scrolling through his phone.
He was wearing all black and he had his glasses on. His hair was fluffy and curly meaning today he was in the studio all day.
"Binnie?" She walked and sat by him, "what are you doing?"
"Hey baby," he kisses her temple and then her lips, "I was just lacing up my shoes, what about you? How was your day?"
"I'm tired that's all," she pouted, "and my period is coming soon so I'm breaking out!" she exclaimed and crossed her arms causing him to chuckle.
"I mean atleast you look nice," he dropped his shoe and pulled her close to his body, "you look beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, amazing-"
"Okay, okay I get the point," she roll my eyes playfully.
"Hey? Am I not allowed to praise my beautiful girlfriend?" He playfully frowns.
"You are I geuss," she giggled and he couldnt help but pull her onto his lap.
"Then let me praise you huh?" He kisses her cheek and slowly starts moving down her neck. A small moan leaves her mouth.
"B-Binnie, I'm not in the mood, please," she told him.
"Why not? You're always in the mood," he looks confused.
"Not today, just come have lunch yeah?" she give him a peck on the lips and got off him so he could stand up.
"Fine," he huffs. He makes his way to the dining area as she depart6ed and headed to Felix's room
"Felix?" she called while knocking on his door.
"It's open!"
"Hey sunshine, dinner is ready-"
"Hey! no kisses? No hugs?" He frowned and turned around from his desk.
"Oh-" she giggled when she realized and then walked over to him, "Hey lix," she repeated and  gave him a kiss as he automatically pulled her on his lap.
"How's my baby doing?" He asked as his hands wrapped around her waist and he cuddled her body.
"Mm just tired," she sighed.
"Oh my poor baby, should we watch a movie later?" He was craving her. he wanted to spend more time with her because he felt like he had spent so much time with the boys that he was neglecting her.
"Yeah that would be nice but first go get lunch," she forced herself out of his grip but he let out a soft whine due to the lack of touch and well...the bulge that was now very visible through his pants.
"Look what you've done to me," he whined again causing her to laugh at his distraught state.
"Oh oh, you better fix that before you go down,"
"Help me please!" He frowned.
"I'm not in the mood Felix, please."
"Come on pleaseee, it's been a long day. Don't you want to see me happy?"
His eyes were shiny and hungry, it was obvious.
"Fine after dinner," she lied to him so he could get up and he actually believed it.
"Okay okay, I'm running there now!"
He got up from his sit and rushed out the room.
She followed behind him and checked the dining room to see everyone now sitting down including Chan, I.N, Seungmin and leeknow.
She went around to give them quick kisses before returning to her room and changed into just a  huge shirt (that was probably for one of the boys) and underwear.
She turned off all her room lights and entered bed now being able to have a peaceful sleep. A nice, nice qui-
She felt the bed dip and hands wrap around her body. Her eyes open quickly and she saw familiar hands. Chan.
"Channie?"
"Hey babe, I wanted to cuddles," he pouted.
"Fine but no disturbing my sleep," she scolded him and turned so it was easier for him to wrap his arms around her waist.
Her eyes slowly closed once again and she finally thought she was to get some sleep until the door swung wide open and closed quickly, two more people walking in and making themselves comfortable in her bed. Han and I.N. At this point she was so used to it that she just let them stay as they both argued on who was sleeping where.
"Guys if you're going to be in here, you have to be quiet and sleep," She told all of them off. Even if she was getting a little frustrated she scooted up a little so they could all enter the bed.
Not even a few minutes later all the boys were now in her room on her bed piling onto one another under her fluffy blankets. She knew exactly what they wanted when she felt one of their hands massaging her leg.
She let out a sigh, "Such horny dogs!" she groaned.
"Common baby, it's been a long day. Don't you care about us?" Hyunjin teased her in a manipulative manner.
"Just a little fun. Come on please," Han rubbed her leg once more back and forth causing shivered to run down her spine.
"You look good too," Felix complimented her while tugging at her bra strap, "really good." They were basically already peeling her clothes off with their cold ass hands.
She let out a sigh and finally gave in, "F-fine I geuss so," her eyes wonder to Chan who gives her an assuring nod.
//please idk how to write a smut but just imagine the nastiest thing ever happens//
When they were done and the boys were satisfied as Y/n sat on the bed. Her heart was racing from all the action but she was in her own space. Spaced out.
The constant thoughts of the boys using her for their sexual desires made her enter a depressive episode. Yes she enjoyed the sex and the attention but so many emotions were running through her tiny body that she couldn't handle it anymore.
She felt used like a sex toy and the tears in her eyes slowly started to build as she started to breath rapidly. The air in the room getting suddenly thick. Seungmin was in the bathroom running her bath for her after care. The sound of the water falling was the only sort of noise she could hear.
She held her knees against her chest as she tried to calm down. Han's hand wrapped around her waist. As he kissed her temple. "you did so good for us, you know that right babygirl?" he praised but she didnt even notice him in the first place. Her eyes were hazy and completely black and when Han noticed, he gave chan a look. 
"Hey, are you with us?" Chan asked immediately as he pulled up his sweatpants. "Y/n?"
No response.
She was staring at the wall right in-front of her. She felt unloved. She felt tired. She was in pain.
The boys (some of them were still dressing up) all turned to look at her. Her body was still bare and the bruises on her arms were visible.
"Is she going into a trance?" I.N asked panicked. "Chan do something, please,"
"Hey Y/n? Babygirl? It me. Can you hear me?" He walked over to her and grabbed her tiny hands.
"C-channie?" She chocked as She looked up at him. The tears slowly starting to fall.
"Yes my love, it's me. Can you tell me where you are?"
"I'm alone, I'm all alone," she sobbed. "Why am I like this? Why am I so disgusting?" She cried.
"What do you mean Y/n?" He asked shocked.
"I-I want Binnie, I want Binnie now," she said reaching out for him. Changbin did not hesitate. He was right by her side pulling her onto his lap. The rest of the boys understanding what was going on and quickly taking action.
"I'm here princesses, tell me what's wrong," he had no shirt on and the skin to skin was slowly giving her comfort as his body heat was radiating warmth.
"I-do you love me?" She asked. The panic in her voice was clear. She was soon going to get a panic attack. it was building up.
"Ofcourse I love you babydoll, why would you think otherwise?" He questioned while kissing her forehead.
"i- i dont know, please dont be mad at me," She sobbed in his chest. The view was heartbreaking and the boys knew that if they didnt find a way to cheer her up soon it would end up into a full blown panic attack.
"I'm going to make some brownies for her," Felix said because he knew this was the only way he could comfort her on his part. He quickly leaves the room after hesitating for a bit not wanting to leave her.
"I- are you guys using me? For sex?" She cried harder. Her hands held Changbins chest as She struggled to breathe. Their faces were in absolute shock. was this what they made her think? was this all she thought she was to them? 
"Ofcourse not," leeknow knelt down infront of her. He slowly rubbed her thigh. "Jagi, you need to breathe. Can you do that for me?" He asked her. Her body was shaking still. she tried to gasp for air but failed. 
"Listen to me beuatiful, you need to breathe like me....see," he took a deep breathe to demonstrate to her but it was no use. 
"i- i cant breathe," she gasped and let go of changbin to grab her neck. it felt like it was closing up. Her vision was blurry now and the lack of oxygen was getting to her. 
"C-chan?" she gasped as she slowly she started to pass out. Her body giving up on her due to the many emotions.
"come on baby, stay with me," she heard in the distance.
"Guys! call 119,"
***
This is just a fic no one come for me 😔
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daceydeath · 1 month
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I Want to Watch (Part 2)
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Pairing: Wooyoung x reader x Jongho
Word Count: 2.5K
Genre: Pure Smut 🔞
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Explicit Activities
Wooyoung's brilliant idea has played on his mind even more since San maybe you would be up for more than just that one time...
Wooyoung had been insatiable for the entire fortnight after your night with San, wanting you in every possible way until you just about couldn’t sit down properly you were fucked so raw. It also had unlocked a whole new list of things he wanted to try, well things he wanted you to try with different members. To begin with you had just taken it as just talk as a way for him to let out every fantasy that he could come up with but when he had decided what he wanted to try next there was not much you could do to dissuade him. Even though you didn’t really want to after all you had, had fun with San and you wouldn’t mind in the slightest to do it again.
“Baby, I have an idea I think you will like” Wooyoung started smiling like the Cheshire cat as he wandered out of his bedroom with his phone in his hands. You had been sitting on the couch in one of his shirts and your underwear reading since he had told you that Jongho was out for the whole night and Hongjoong was in the studio and therefore not coming home until at least 3am.
“Uhuh and what would that be?” You rolled your eyes playfully knowing that the pair of you being alone in the dorm meant only one thing.
“I know I sprung the whole San thing on you and I know you loved it but I thought maybe you might want to do it again but we would talk about it first” he smirked knowing you were going to leap at the chance if you were given it.
“Ok” you furrowed your brows “Why would we need to talk about it? San and I have already fucked once”. Kneeling before you he spread your legs slotting himself between them and rubbing his hands teasingly up your thighs, his fingers dancing along the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs giving you goosebumps. 
“Well there were some rules that San broke that I wanted to talk to you about, also perhaps how you would feel about another member joining us” He murmured, placing a kiss on your clothed stomach.
“What rules did you have, Wooyo?” you hummed, closing your eyes as he continued his ministrations.
“No one is to taste you, that is just mine” he continued “and I will also decide what you are doing with who after you have agreed of course”.
“That’s fine” you purred as his hands crept up under his shirt “whatever you want”. You couldn’t help leaning back into the couch spreading your thighs even wider for him.
“I want to watch you suck Jongho’s dick, want to watch him fuck you from behind” he admitted leaning forward to press a kiss to you covered core. “Will you do that for me baby, will you let him fuck you?” 
“Yes” you whined letting him nuzzle his face against your cover core, your fingers threading into his hair as he continued to tease you, chuckling darkly as he felt your wetness beginning to soak through the flimsy fabric.
“Good because he will be home and minute now and he was as enthusiastic as San was” he mumbled against you one of his fingers hooking under the fabric to pull it aside exposing your slick folds to the warmth of his breath. Licking a long lazy stipe through your fold you let your head drop back against the pillows enjoying the feeling of his perfect tongue on you. Sucking your clit between his lips you moaned softly hearing the front door open.
“Well that's a very nice welcome home” Jongho’s honeyed voice filled your ears making your eyes pop open to look at him.
“Thought I should get her ready for you” Wooyoung grinned smugly, pulling away from you his lips shining with your arousal.
“That’s why you are my favorite hyung” Jongho replied, his eyes glued to your exposed slit.
“I’m going to always be your favorite after I let you fuck my girl” Wooyoung laughed getting up from the floor and pulling you forward so he could pull his shirt up over your head to leave you in just your underwear.
“Fuck” Jongho whispered stepping towards you his eyes trailing over your breasts hungrily “So I can kiss her, fuck her and finger her I just can’t taste her?”
“Yep” Wooyoung agreed instantly, looking almost predatory as he sat on the armchair to your right watchin closely as Jongho continued to move closer to you. 
“Can I?” Jongho breathed softly, his eyes finally meeting yours, asking if you would actually let him do what Wooyoung had told him he could do.
“Please Jjongie” you swallowed hard feeling how much slick was pooling between your legs at this point. “I wanna make you feel good”.
Jongho pulled you to your feet gently, his hands almost shaking as he moved to grab your hips before slowly brushing them up your sides to your waist before closing the distance and pressing his lips to yours. His lips were so tentative as he continued to move them against yours, you sighed quietly running your tongue along his bottom lip to encourage him while pulling him in further by his shoulders one hand fisting in his hoodie that he was still wearing. Feeling your enthusiasm Jongho pressed you against him, letting his tongue invade your mouth to suck on your own while you slipped one hand down to squeeze his half hard length.
“Shit, how do you want to do this on your knees or sitting?” he gasped against your lips.
“Sit down, she can show you how good her throat is, can’t you baby? be his perfect little whore” Wooyoung cooed as you couldn’t stop the whine coming from your lips. Jongho sat watching you intensely as you sank to your knees where Wooyoung had been before. You gently ran your fingernails up his thighs leaning forward to grab the zipper between your teeth wiggling your arse as you did to make sure Wooyoung was enjoying the view as much as Jongho was going to enjoy your mouth. Freeing him from his pants you couldn’t help how your eyes widened in surprise at the thick heavy cock that sprang up against the fabric of his clothes, it was almost as pretty as your boyfriends straight, veiny and leaking as your grasped it to lazily stroke it a few times before licking a teasingly slow stripe from his balls to the blushing pink tip. Circling the tip a few times with your tongue you allowed your saliva to pool in your mouth before letting it begin to drip down the hard flesh, Jongho’s breathing was coming out in shallow puffs as you finally looked up to meet his eyes through your lashes and sank your lips down around him as far as you could.
“Oh Fuck” Jongho groaned one hand carding into your hair to cup your head.
“Such a good girl baby. Go on, swallow his whole cock baby” Wooyoung playfully encouraged your desperation.
Working your hand in time with your mouth you worked on relaxing your throat and jaw so you could take as much of his length into you without gagging each bob of your head causing more of your spit to leak from the corners of your mouth. Holding your head Jongho because to carefully thrust his hips his breath coming out in heavy pants now as you swallowed as much as you could of him.��
“So eager to swallow Jongho’s dick, acting like I don’t give you mine” Wooyoung groaned while Jongho began loudly groaning as you hummed around his cock.
“Such a heavenly mouth” he groaned rolling his hips harder and forcing you further onto his length you were almost at your limit your lips stretched around his fat cock the tips bumping the back of your throat with each movement swallowing around him you felt Jongho start to lose his composure forcing your head lower until he was actually fucking into your mouth. Choking slightly you gurgled around him trying to remember to breathe through your nose as he held you still and fucked himself as far as he could into your throat maoning as your throat restricted him with every slight gag tears running down your cheeks.
“Do you want Jongho to cum down your throat baby? Going to drink it all down?” Wooyoung mocked, smirking as you whined pathetically as Jongho continued to use your throat as his own personal cocksleeve. You felt him begin to swell on your tongue, his cock twitching as he got closer and closer to his high.
“Ahh…shit..”Jongho called loudly forcing his cock as far into your mouth as he could your nose brushing his pubic bone as he released thick ropes of hot cum into your throat and mouth as you desperately swallowed so you wouldn’t waste any. Jongho pulled himself from your swollen lips wiping your tears with his thumbs while you licked the last of his seed from your lips, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue to show him you had swallowed most of it.
“You are incredible” Jongho panted, his voice strained as you preened under his praise.
“Don’t forget your manners baby” Wooyoung scolded half heartedly, his eyebrows raised as he looked at you seriously.
“Thankyou Jjongie” you whispered roughly as you swallowed again trying to clear your throat.
“Come here” Jongho grinned, pulling you off the ground and swinging you over his shoulder taking you to Wooyoung’s room.
“Undress Jongho” Wooyoung ordered making himself comfortable at the end of the bed, stripping himself of most of his clothes.
You helped Jongho pull his hoodie and shirt over his head, dropping it beside you as you worked on shimmying his jeans and boxers down his legs. You had never really seen Jongho without clothes and you couldn’t help but stare at his toned chest and perfect thighs when they were finally exposed to you. He kissed you against his hands groping and squeezing your flesh as his tongue once again plundered your mouth licking into it as you whined against him feeling his hardness against you. Backing you up to the bed, Jongho lowered you to the mattress, kissing his way down your neck to your breasts, pinching and teasing each of your nipples until they were puffy and red before lapping at them with his tongue.
“Please Jongho, more” you whimpered arching into him as he sucked light marks all over both the mounds of flesh, pushing your underwear aside he moaned against your skin as he felt how dripping wet your folds were allowing him to easily push one finger inside you pumping it a few times before adding a second and then a third opening you up ready for him. Fucking you with his fingers the obscene squelch that filled the room made your cheeks flush with embarrassment about how easy it was for Jongho to get you needy for him. Your walls started to tighten, quivering around his digits as you quickly began to feel your orgasm approaching you hips bucking against his hand. Jongho moved back to your face, kissing you deeply as you mewled, arching and rolling your hips until you felt yourself fall over the edge.
“Jongho...ngh…Oh god” you cried, your nectar flooding around his fingers and dripping onto his palm.
“Fuck, you didn’t tell me she squirts” Jongho ground out his eyes watching your hole clenching around his fingers rapidly.
“My girl is a good girl, she loves to squirt on the nice boys who fuck her properly” Wooyoung purred as Jongho slipped his fingers from you giving them to you to suck clean, you licked and suckled them until he was satisfied letting them go with a lewd pop and he manhandled you onto your knees at the edge of the bed. “Be as rough as you want, she won’t break”.
Jongho dragged his leaking cock head against your folds, pressing it against your clit making you jolt, both he and Wooyoung laugh before he sheathed himself completely inside you, bottoming out with a long moan. Even with the prep you could feel him splitting you in half his thick cock stretching your walls almost painfully as he gave you a moment to adjust. Gripping your hips bruisingly he because snapping his hips against your arse rapidly each thrust forcing you forward before he dragged you back against him in a brutal pace bouncing you against him until he pushed your face down towards the bed letting him push even deeper inside you until his cock was almost kissing your cervix. 
“Ah..Ah…Jjongie” You pleaded, bunching the sheets uselessly between your fingers trying to ground yourself.
“Is Jongho fucking you properly baby? Just like Sannie? Wootoung teased making you turn your head towards him, finding him idly stroking himself as he watched Jongho’s cock split you open. 
“Fuck can I cum inside her or not?” Jongho strained not slowing his pace as he partially draped himself over you to kiss between your shoulder blades hitting the gummy spot within your walls the made you see stars.
“Yes Jjongie… fuck please fill me up” you begged between harsh breaths and loud cries.
“Yeah Jongho fuck her full, you would love that wouldn’t you being filled with another man’s cum again?” Wooyoung rasped so deeply you moaned clenching around Jongho, feeling him falter in his pace, his cock twitching inside you. Slipping his arm around your waist he pressed his fingers against your clit rubbing a few tight circles to get you clenching him again.
“Jongho…Jongho” you chanted as you felt fire reignite in your veins and your vision turn white, you would have collapsed completely into the sheets hand Jongho not been holding your hips so tightly as you spasmed around him your walls continuing to flutter as he fucked you through your orgasm trying to milk him of his release. A few thrusts later Jongho stilled inside you the warmth of his cum spreading through your core as he filled you so full it began to leak out around the base of his dick.
“Fuck, you are such a goddess for me” Wooyoung praised leaning forward to sweep your sweaty hair out of your face.
“I second that” Jongho panted, his cock still inside you even though it was starting to soften.
“Can you lay her on the bed?” Wooyoung asked moving towards the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean you up with. Jongho carefully maneuvered you onto your back before lifting you again and laying you in the middle of Wooyoung’s bed stroking your hair and cheeks as you smiled up at him.   
“Thank you Jjongie” you whispered, reaching out to pull him down towards you.
“I should go clean up and let hyung take care of you” he smiled shyly as though he hadn’t just tried to fuck your soul out of you.
“I forgot to mention that she gets super clingy afterwards, it took a full hour before she would let go of San Wooyoung, sniggered as he returned holding the warm cloth and carefully wiping your swollen and used folds.
“I guess a little while won’t hurt, but I’m only doing this for her not you hyung” Jongho smiled his usual gummy smile pulling the sheets up over the pair of you and letting you burrow into the side of his chest.
A/N: Thank you for reading my loveliest loves, all your likes, reblogs and comments continue to encourage me to keep writing xx
Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar
@tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie @krishastumblernow @mrsseals16 @fawnpeaks
@leeknowinggg @tanzen-ist-gold @taz-97 @ocean-dreamer-sky-chaser @everythingboutkpop
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can I request a Vox x reader fluff where they've both been struggling to come to terms with their feelings but when something (you can decide what) happens and the reader gets hurt really badly, he confesses
ANOOOOOOOOON!! YOU. GET ME. SO GOOD. HOW DARE YOU HIT ME UP WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES?? Literally, give this trope to me as many times as yall want. I'll find a million ways to write it. Reap the repercussions and enjoy the food you beautiful homie, you!
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Star-Crossed Idiots [Vox x Reader]
Vox refused to believe it.
Velvette had been the one to call him out on his shit first. Unlike him, she had a semblance of emotional maturity that meant she was perceptive to shit that flew over his head entirely. While he didn't understand why he found himself going out of his way to spend time with you, Velvette figured it out in a matter of days. The very fact that he had kept his involvement with you a secret was suspicious in itself. Not to mention, Velvette realized before he did. When she discovered his feelings for you, she found it hilarious. And a touch pathetic.
"I mean really Vox, you have zero reason to even know them," Velvette scoffed as she sipped on the frappuccino he had used to buy her silence. Things were already messy enough with Valentino. He had no intention of the pissy moth hearing of this until whatever this was, was sorted.
"Yet you constantly check in on their phone activity, go out of your way to run into them on the streets, and now they're even working for you just because your needy ass wanted an excuse to see them on the regular," Velvette listed as Vox did everything in his power to avoid eye contact.
Vox buried his face in his hands and groaned while Velvette rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't it just be easier to ask them out at this point? I love you, darling, but you're making this so much more complicated than it needs to be."
"No," Vox growled as he looked up and shot her a warning glare. "Do you have any idea how much shit we'd be in if I just started dating some random sinner? And that's only if the feelings were mutual."
He ran his hand down his screen with a huff, turning to look at Vark swimming up to the glass. While Vox had originally had the aquarium extend to the meeting rooms for a sense of looming intimidation, he'd found quite a bit of comfort in his sharks being able to follow him through the tower.
"Look, for all we know, I'm just pent up," Vox tried to reason. It sounded fake, even to his own ears, but he was in denial. There was too much bullshit he'd have to face if he really was as whipped for you as he feared. "It's been a shit couple of weeks. I probably just need a break and a good fuck and this will all be something you make fun of me about next week for ever entertaining in the first place."
Velvette shook her head, sighing as she pulled out her phone and started to scroll.
"Whatever you say."
---
You refused to believe it.
There was no way you fell for Vox of all people. For starters, you told yourself you'd never love again! Every time you'd tried, disaster followed. It didn't help that any potential match was one to be made in Hell. Granted, you knew not everyone in Hell was bad. There were a lot of sinners who you firmly believed belonged in Heaven or some sort of equivalent.
But even so... Vox was definitely not one of those people. Not that that was the important part or truly mattered. You were no saint either, you were also in Hell.
"I don't see what the big deal is toots," Angel Dust sighed as he watched you give Fat Nuggets attention to keep your hands busy through the stress. "There are worse people to have a crush on."
"There's better too," you whined. "I'd rather not have a crush at all," you muttered bitterly as your hand continued the soothing action of petting the teacup pig.
You'd originally been on the production team for one of Valentino's studios. That was how you befriended Angel Dust and why Vox scooped you out from under Valentino to work on his own set. He told you it was because he valued someone who had an ear for audio balance, but Angel said he'd only offered you the new job after the overlord walked in on the cameraman flirting with you right before.
"Why not just fuck the guy and see if it's a matter of heart or a matter of-"
You laughed as you covered Angel's mouth with one of your hands. "Okay, okay! Don't... finish that sentence. I won't let you taint poor little Fat Nuggets ears with your porn language."
Angel snickered as you pulled back your hand. "But you see my point, right?"
"I do," you sighed. "But that's... not really my style. If anything, I think it'd just hurt to see him after something like a casual fling. The idea of him wanting my body, but not me? Yeah no. I'll choose the healthier option of repressing my feelings, thank you very much."
"I'm telling ya, he's into you," Angel groaned. "I've seen the way he is with people he thinks are hot. I've seen him with Val. You're different, toots."
You smile sadly at Angel and put Fat Nuggets down on the bed. It was clear you didn't believe Angel and he was on the verge of ripping out his fur because of it. The two of you were so unbelievably oblivious it was gonna kill him again. "Thanks, Angie but... it's okay. Really, it is."
He sighed and eventually let it go. The two of you talked about other things for a while before Charlie peeked into his room to ask for your help on something. Once you were gone, he rolled over the conversation in his mind as he tried to think of ways to get the ball rolling on your love life.
Angel shook his head with a sigh and pulled out his phone. He scooped up Fat Nuggets and flopped back in his bed as the dialing sound filled the room. The line connected, and he was quick to the point.
"Hey, I know we don't really talk, but I've got an idea."
---
"Really Angie, I don't think this was necessary," You grumbled as you tugged down on the all-too-short skirt of the outfit he'd squeezed you into.
"Oh, but it was and it is," Angel grinned as he took your hand and twirled you in the entry hall to the club. You rolled your eyes and let him spin you in jest. He'd asked you to come with him to one of your old coworkers' birthday parties.
Apparently, one of the rules was to dress like you'd get hired to dance at the club. At least, that had been Angel's excuse when you questioned why he was hovering over you as he did your hair, and makeup and held up several outfits to your body that you doubted would fit.
Despite the discomfort of getting all dolled up, you were happy he'd invited you. It had been a while since you saw your old friends. That being said, it would have been more fun if you weren't tugging down your skirt every two minutes. You weren't the only one hyperaware of how much of your skin was exposed. Nor of the way the fabric hugged your frame tightly. Several of your old friends had suggested you return to the studio with a job in front of the camera instead of in the shadows of the set.
You'd been having a good time, sticking to the corner of the room with some of your old friends to watch the drinks while the rest were out on the dance floor. One of the drunker sinners of the bunch accidentally knocked over some of the drinks while she'd been telling a story about the recent cam show she did. You volunteered to go get more napkins from the bar. One of your friends came with you to reorder the ruined drinks and the two of you had nearly pushed your way through the crowd when you heard a familiar voice call your name through the noise.
Vox didn't have to fight through the crowd the way you had. The second sinners saw the glow of his screen, they were quick to move out of his path. Your friend touched your arm, pulling your attention away from the approaching overlord. They winked at you and told you they had the drink issue handled.
When you turned, you caught Vox's screen flickering from pink to his usual blue. You had never seen any color other than the "You don't get to sleep" blue light, so you assumed it was just a trick of the flashing dance lights above.
"I didn't think you'd be here," you say to break the tension. This wasn't the first time you'd seen him in casual wear, nor was it the first time you'd seen Vox since realizing you had feelings for him. Even so, your heart was beating hard just from the sight of him.
"A-Ah yeah, well," Vox stammered as the music blared through the busy room. "Velvette wanted to drop by. She said something about wanting to check the place out as a potential venue for an upcoming show."
"Just the two of you?" you ask, perking up slightly.
"It was supposed to be," Vox chuckled dryly. His grin was tired and forced as he looked to the side and scanned the room. "Valentino heard we were coming here and tagged along. I don't know why, but Velvette got really heated about it. Something about him fucking up her plans..."
"Oh," your shoulders drop. You cringe internally, wishing you could take back the bitterness in your voice. You hoped it wasn't too obvious, but the way Vox was looking at you like you were some sort of a puzzle told you everything you needed to know.
You actually loved Velevette. She was sassy and cutthroat but had a kind side to her as well. Valentino however... He'd been the source of a lot of suffering for the people you cared about. While the more obvious examples of Angel Dust returning to the hotel looking like shit came to mind, so did the times you had to comfort Vox after being yanked this way and that by the moth emotionally.
That was actually how you'd realized you'd come to care for him as deeply as you do. He'd been standing alone in one of the meeting rooms with a distant look on his face. When you found him and asked him if he was okay, he tried to play it off with his usual bravado, but couldn't. He never cried in front of you, he only vented his frustrations about Valentino and you listened. You sympathized. And eventually, you found yourself wishing you could be the one to treat him better.
Vox opened his mouth to say something, only for Valentino to slip his arm around his shoulder, appearing out of nowhere from the crowd.
"There you are baby," he purred, his fingers immediately slipping under the collar of Vox's vest. You resisted the urge to gag as Valentino took a long puff from his pipe and blew the majority of the smoke in your direction.
"I was wondering where you up and fucked off to," Valentino grinned as he leaned down to nip drunkenly at Vox's shoulder. "You left me all alone with our little fashionista, "Valentino scoffed. "She's in such a bitchy mood."
If it wasn't bad enough that Valentino was practically drooling all over Vox in front of you and pretending you weren't there, insult was only added to injury when Valentino grinned at you with sharp teeth when he called Velvette bitchy.
"Come back and unwind with me," Valentino hummed as he started to kiss up Vox's neck. "Some of my best toys are here tonight. Don't you want to play?"
If Vox had any doubt he was in Hell before, he had every reason to confirm the fact at this moment. He'd fallen out of love with Valentino, but the almost... the almost killed him. To make it worse, he was completely frozen, letting it all happen in front of you. He made no moves to stop Valentino, he made no moves to reciprocate. He simply froze.
Unable to watch any longer as Vox continued to fall for the very same game of tug-o-war he told you he was done with, you bite your lip and turn on your heel. You can't tell if you heard Vox say your name or if it was just a trick of the crowd.
"Anyone else gonna drink this?" You asked as you rejoined your friends still at the table and pointed to one of the more full glasses left on the table. When your friends who were sober enough to answer said you could go for it, you tossed it back in one shot.
You griped to one of your friends who had stayed behind to watch over those too drunk to make good choices. The two of you had been having a damn good venting session about how stupid you felt your feelings were when the entire bar swayed. Your words slurred as your body grew heavy.
One second you were sitting up, wondering why your friend looked so concerned. The next second there was a sharp pain against the temple of your forehead, followed by a heavy thunk, more pain, and darkness.
---
Vox had been desperately searching the dance floor for any sign of you. He'd torn away from Valentino and the moth hadn't bothered to follow. Vox would... handle that another time. For as much as he denied his feelings for you this morning, the second he saw the hurt look in your eyes he knew he had to tell you. There was no way he could ignore the sharp lurch in his chest at the sight of you.
He didn't know what it meant. He couldn't tell if it was just a sense of betrayal after he'd been so open with you about Valentino or if it was something more. Every time he found himself wanting to talk about his true feelings on anything, he wanted to talk to you. Every time he had a rare second alone in the middle of the night, the only touch he craved was yours. Yes, he had a history with Valentino, but he didn't actively want that. He wanted you.
He finally spotted you across the room, sitting at a table with one of the whores he'd seen at Valentino's studio and getting way too close to them for his liking. He made his way through the drunken idiots who were too far gone to notice him, keeping his eyes on you as you started swaying dangerously.
You tried to reach down for something on the table and Vox swore as you lost what little balance you had and fell over. Someone got in his way so he didn't see the impact, but somehow he heard it. Through all the noise he heard the sharp thud and the panicked swearing of the person you were with after.
Vox was suddenly shoving every idiot out of his way, ignoring their shouts as he ran into the small clearing and found you on the ground with blood seeping from your head. He was immediately on his knees, scooping you up as the sinner who'd been with you started freaking out.
The only thing Vox could hear was a high-pitched whine as he pulled you to him and tried to frantically find where you were bleeding from. Half of your head was dripping with blood and he vaguely registered your friend saying your head had hit the edge of the table.
"Just s̴̢̃ḧ̸̺u̸͇͋t̷̯͂ ̷̬̂u̶͖̓p̵̳͗!̶̳͌," Vox snapped as he whipped up and affixed the sinner with a violent glare. He didn't care that half the club was looking at him. For once, he didn't care that he'd made a scene. Logically, he knew something like this couldn't kill you, you were all already dead. But his hands were shaking violently and the buzzing in his head was getting louder because you weren't moving.
Everything around him flashed with bright blue light as he held you close and teleported out of the club without even thinking about it. The two of you reappeared in his room back at the tower and he let out a shaky breath as he placed you down on his bed.
Not knowing what to do, Vox quickly crossed the room and threw his bathroom door open as he searched for anything he could use to stop the bleeding. He was muttering furiously as he nearly ripped the hinges off the cupboard under the sink looking for anything he could use.
Vox let out a loud, angry shout as his body kept glitching. His movements were jerky and he'd hit his head on the sink twice now. Just as he was about to have an absolute meltdown, he heard you groan from his bedroom. His head snapped up and he turned around at the sound of your voice so fast he was surprised he didn't snap his own neck.
Vox yanked a towel off of the wall and scrambled across the nylon tiles as he fell into his room with all the grace of a CEO that he clearly had. He swore, picking himself up and coming over to you as you sat up and clutched your head.
"Shit, that stuff was stronger than I thought," you groaned. "Note to self, don't just chug random alcohol at the club." you tried to laugh, only to hiss as the pain in your head doubled down due to the movement.
"You're a fucking idiot," Vox sighed as he sat down next to you and lifted the towel to your head.
You flinched at the contact, and Vox grabbed your wrist with his free hand. "Stay still," he frowned, pressing again on the wound. "You're still bleeding."
Trying not to do more damage, you stay as still as possible while he tries to stop the bleeding. The silence is heavy between the two of you before you mumble quietly.
"Sorry..."
Vox blinks, frowning down at you. "For what?"
You avoid eye contact the best you can given your current condition and fist your hands on your thighs nervously. "For acting like an idiot. You've told me about how hard it is with Valentino. I should've said or done something and not have gotten..."
"Upset?" Vox finished for you quietly. You flinched, unable to read the tone in his voice. He sighed and slowly lifted the towel from your head, before lowering it. "Why did you?"
"It's stupid," you bite your lip, hand drifting up curiously to see how bad the wound is. Before your fingers could brush against your hair, Vox's hand grabbed your wrists again.
"Try me."
You couldn't say if it was due to the pain, blood loss, or alcohol in your system, but the moment you finally gathered the courage to look him in the eye, you said fuck it. Vox gasped as you surged forward and pressed your lips against his. He'd barely had a chance to process the feeling before you were already turned away from him and rambling some bullshit about how you knew he didn't feel the same.
He took your hand, ignoring the anxious nonsense flowing from your mouth, and lifted it to his lips. Your speech died on your tongue as his lips pressed against the palm of your hand.
"Do you have any idea how much you've been on my mind?" He growled softly, his lips trailing up your arm slowly as he practically worshiped your skin.
If it wasn't for the fact that your blood was still on his hands, Vox would have been so much more rough with you. He would have grabbed you and crashed his lips against yours. He would have torn the fabric that hugged your curves so tightly off of your body and shown you just how badly he'd been needing you.
Instead, he made do with tracing his claw under your chin and guiding you to face him properly. His eyes searched yours for any doubt or sign that you'd acted purely on adrenaline and not something more. When your breath hitched and your cheeks flushed, he knew. As he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, as his arms snaked down and pulled you flush against him like you'd break, as your fingers found a home in his vest he knew.
You wanted him too. You fell for him too. This wasn't a game of "do they, don't they" like the one he'd played with Valentino for so fucking long.
His breath hitched, his arms tightening around you before he slowly pulled back and laughed breathlessly.
"Does this mean we're dating?" you ask, smiling at him like he'd hung the stars in the sky.
"God that sounds cheesy," Vox grimaced. The phrase felt so... high school bullshit. But it wasn't wrong. He wanted that. He really wanted that with you.
He reached down, hesitating before his clawed hand gently covered yours. "But yeah... I guess it does," he smiled softer than you'd ever seen before.
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vikkirosko · 1 year
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Can I request Alastor, Vox, Valentino, Velvet, Stolas and Stella with a female hell born fox demon reader?
Reader demon form is a giant nine tailed fox with one red eye (like in the song "the good child and the fox spirit").
Despite her tendencies to use people's pain and sadness to manipulate them into making a deal with her, she became attached to a pitiful human child who only wanted a friend and someone who will take care of him.
Reader now take care of the child and make her s/o and the child meet. Saying to the child : "You see him/her? He/she's your dad/mom now.
thanks!
Headcanons Human child
📻 Alastor x hellborn fem!Reader 🎙
Your relationship with Alastor has been the cause of many rumors. You were both strong and engaged in different activities in Hell. Sometimes you even took part in his radio broadcast. You were cruel and often went to the human world to make deals with people. You told him about your travels only in private, not considering it something that should get on the radio, but after your next trip you returned not with a story but with a little boy
You directly told the child that Alastor is his father and that he does not need to be afraid of him. While Alastor, at your request, was preparing food for the boy, you told him that you intended to make a deal with someone from the people, but found the boy. You weren't going to make a deal with him. You just wanted to scare the child, but he wasn't afraid of your demonic appearance, but just asked you if you wanted to become his friend. It seemed strange to you and you asked why he would ask a demon about it. Then the child told you that he had no one and he was left all alone. You felt sorry for the child, so you decided to take the boy under your care and become a mom for him
Alastor was surprised by the story you told, but he wasn't going to judge you. He didn't mind being a father to the boy, since you decided to become a mother. He wasn't sure if raising a child in Hell was a good idea, but he was curious to see what would come of it, so he didn't mind helping you with your little adventure
Unlike you, he knew how to communicate with children who were not born in Hell, so together you coped well with taking care of the boy. In a sense, he really became your son and you and Alastor were ready to protect the boy from the threats that there were quite a lot in Hell
💞 Valentino x hellborn fem!Reader 🚬
You and Valentino were one of the most intimidating couples in Hell. You were both strong and engaged in different activities in Hell, which allowed you to have more influence. However, you preferred to travel to the human world to make deals with people. Valentino did not interfere in this, preferring to do business in Hell. After you went back to Hell, he would come to you and you would discuss what had happened during the time that you had not seen each other
When he came to you again, he wanted to tell you a story about what had recently happened at the studio, but when he came, he saw that you were not alone. There was a child in your apartment. A little girl who didn't look scared. On the contrary, she smiled and played with you. When you noticed Valentino, you pointed him out to the girl and said that he was her father now. The girl waved to him and he looked at you in shock, waiting for an explanation from you
You didn't hide anything from him. You talked about how you went to human world and intended to make a deal with this girl, but everything didn't go according to plan. This child was not afraid of your demonic appearance, which not even all the inhabitants of Hell could withstand. This girl asked you if you could become her friend. She was all alone, she had no family and so you decided to take care of her and become her mom, so you decided that Valentino would be the father of the child. He wasn't sure if it was a reasonable idea, but you weren't going to change your mind
Valentino didn't know how he was supposed to fulfill the role of a father. He didn't get along very well with children, but you didn't have any experience in taking care of children either. You both had to learn how to take care of a girl in the conditions of Hell
❤ Velvette x hellborn fem!Reader 🤍
Velvette really enjoyed spending time with you. Your relationship has been going on for a long time and she loved listening to your stories about how you traveled to human world. Unlike her, you could safely travel there to make deals with people. She liked your cruelty and cunning
When she came to you, she knew for sure that you had returned from the human world, but she did not expect that you would not come alone. You came back with a human child. The little boy who grabbed your hand and looked at Velvette with apprehension. However, when you told the boy that she was now his mother and the kid and Velvette were surprised by your words, but the boy quickly calmed down, completely trusting you
You told Velvette that you were planning to make a deal with this child. You thought that he would be scared when he saw your demonic appearance, but the child was not afraid of you and asked if you could become his friend. You couldn't remain indifferent to such an innocent request, so you decided to take the boy under your care. You sincerely hoped that Velvette would share with you the care of him
She was thrilled that you had become a real family in a sense. You even had a child. She was ready to brag about it in front of her friends, she spent a huge amount of time with you and the boy, as if you really were a family and she intended to do a lot to make it really so
🖥 Vox x hellborn fem!Reader 📱
You and Vox have been together for a long time. Unlike him, you were born in Hell and lived there much longer than he did. You were a powerful demon who often went to the human world to make deals with people. You liked to use people's sorrows and weaknesses to force them to make deals with you, then telling him about their travels. You might not be home for days or even weeks, but you always came back unharmed
When he once again came to your apartment, he heard sounds from the kitchen. He quickly realized that you were at home, so he went to the kitchen. However, there he saw something he did not expect. You were cooking something in the kitchen while a child was sitting at the table. The girl who watched your actions with curiosity. Vox had a lot of questions about what was happening, but you didn't let them ask. You noticed him and told the girl that he was her father now
Your words have baffled Vox. He wasn't going to become someone's parent, but you decided everything for him. He started asking you questions when you finished cooking. You didn't hide the fact that it was a human child and that you originally planned to make a deal with her. But the child's request has put you in a dead end. All she wanted was to have a friend. She wanted someone to take care of her and in the end you couldn't leave the baby and make a deal with her. That's why you took her to Hell and took on the role of her mother
Vox didn't know how long you were going to be the mother of a human child, but after a few weeks in the role of the girl's father, he realized that it wasn't so bad. He became attached to the child, understanding why you decided to take on the role of mother. He didn't know how to protect the child yet, but he wasn't going to stop until he came up with something
🦉 Stolas x hellborn fem!Reader 🎩
You and Stolas started dating a few months after he divorced. You hid your relationship from everyone, and especially from his daughter. You were born in Hell and visited human world quite often to make deals with people. Stolas enjoyed spending time with you. He knew that you often used people's sorrows and pain to force them to make deals with you, but he knew that with those who were dear to you, you were caring and attentive
When he came to you one day, you asked him to help you. He was very worried, you rarely asked for anything, much less for help, but when you brought him into the living room in your apartment, he saw a human girl there. The child was alive, healthy and was not afraid of you or Stolas. However, he was even more surprised when you told the girl that Stolas is now her father. Your words surprised him a lot and he asked you to explain what was going on
As it turned out, you were going to make a deal with this child, but you were surprised that the girl was not afraid of you, even though you took your demonic form in front of her. When you asked the child what she would like, the girl said that she would like to have someone next to her who would take care of her. She wanted to have a friend. For the first time, you didn't know what to do and watched the girl for several days until, eventually, you decided to take her home with you. You managed to get attached to the child and decided to take care of her, but you had absolutely no experience of caring for children, which is why you decided to ask Stolas for help
Stolas gladly agreed to help you. In a sense, you have become a family. He was good at taking care of children, because taking care of his daughter was on his shoulders. Sometimes Stolas thought about offering you and the girl to live with him, but he did not know how Octavia would react to this, so so far he was in no hurry to tell his daughter about it. Next to you, he felt peace and love. Even though you weren't a family yet, that's how he felt
🦉 Stella x hellborn fem!Reader 👑
You and Stella have known each other for a long time. No one ever knew how close you really were. You were a pure-blooded demon and for a long time you were in a secret relationship. She was married and had a daughter, and you were alone and often went to the human world to make deals with people. Only when she officially divorced Stolas did you stop hiding your relationship. No one dared even try to condemn you. However, one day something happened that Stella did not expect
One day when she came to your house, you told her that you had to introduce her to someone. Stella didn't like surprises and walked with you frowning. But her eyes widened when she saw a human child in your kitchen. She finally lost the power of speech when you told the child that now Stella will be his mother like you. Stella quickly dragged you out of the room, with indignation in her voice, starting to ask you what all this means. She doubted that it was your child, but the fact that you decided to keep him with you bothered her. She didn't expect this from you
She knew you as a cruel demon who used human sorrows and pain to manipulate them, but she couldn't understand why you felt sorry for the child. Only in the evening, when you put the child to bed, you told her that you were originally going to sign a contract with this child. However, you couldn't do it. He was the first one who wasn't afraid of your demonic appearance. He didn't ask you for money, power, or anything else that other people usually asked for. This child just wanted a friend, someone who would be there for him and take care of him. You got attached to him and couldn't leave him alone
Stella just sighed heavily, having stopped arguing with you. She knew it was useless to argue with you and she didn't want to spoil your relationship, because her feelings for you were real. She didn't know how seriously you took the child, but as long as you wanted that child to stay by your side, as long as you protected him, Stella was ready to agree to play this strange role of a parent for a human child, since it made you happy
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vernons-girl · 7 months
Text
more | lee jihoon (woozi)
angst to fluff, suggestive?, wc:1.3k
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Once again you found yourself sitting on the couch at the back of Jihoon's studio just browsing through mindless youtube videos just to get to spend some time with him.k
He was really busy because his activities with the group so he barely had any time for you, so for the two of you to be together you had to tag along with him during his late night studio escapades. It wasn’t the most romantic, that is for sure, but that’s all you could ask for knowing how hard he was trying to make everything right.
But to him it wasn’t enough. Nothing was ever enough for him. He wanted to do better, he wanted to do more, he didn’t feel like he was enough, his mind was clouded with doubt and he couldn’t help but think that you deserved better than this, that you deserved better than him.
Those thoughts were racing through his head over and over and it became impossible for him to focus on anything else.
He slowly pushed his chair back away from his desk and turned his attention to you. You looked so pretty without even trying and he asked himself how did he got so lucky for a solid minute before focusing on your sitting form. You were wearing baggy comfy clothes, including one of his hoodie that he let you borrow earlier because you were cold, your hair was in its natural state, a bit messy yet beautiful to him, a soft smile would brighten your bare face every few minutes, and with all this he still looked at you like you were the 8th wonder of the world. And in fact, you were more than this, you were his world, everything gravited around you and he lived for this feeling.
Suddenly his thoughts were cut by a sneeze coming from you.
“Bless you” he said with a chuckle.
“Thank you” you said shyly, the noise you made was definitely not as soft as you wished it was but what can you do about it, you’re still human.
“You doing okay over here?” you asked full of concern. If you were being a hundred percent honest, you were kind of worried about your boyfriend, he looked off and you couldn’t help but think you did something wrong or that you maybe didn’t do anything and that it was a problem.
“Everything’s alright love” he told you with a light nod and his signature smile.
But it wasn’t fooling you, you put your computer aside and got up to slowly make your way closer to him. You came to a stop right in front of him and gently cupped his face in your palms.
“Come on baby, tell me what’s going through that smart head of yours”, he relaxed into your touch, you always had this effect on him and he could not explain how you did it but, anytime you would lay your hand on him, he would completely melt, dropping his guard and allowing himself to be vulnerable. The fact that he only acts like this with you made the act so intimate for you two, it never failed to show how much he trusts you.
“Are you happy?” he asked looking up at your face
“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I?
- I mean with me. Are you happy with me?” his gaze dropped to the floor after his question, too scared to look at your reactions, afraid of the emotion that could be painted in your face, as if all the stars he saw in your eyes would disappear before you could break his heart.
“Jihoon? What’s wrong? you asked with worry in your voice
-Please tell me you’re not unhappy with me..
- Look at me baby, please” you pleaded your lover, trying to tilt his face toward yours to get a look at his features. Once he did look up, all you saw was doubt written all over his face.
“What’s up with all those doubts? you questioned
-Listen I know I’ve been busy these past few weeks and we did not get the chance to spend that much time together and I don’t want you to think that I gave up on you, I did not gave up on us Y/N” his voice was deep but soft, almost fading away in the air as soon as the words left his mouth.
You brought yourself closer to him and took a sit right across his lap, brushing his hair out of his face before placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.
“I know Jihon, I know.” and it was all you said before kissing him passionately.
Between you and Jihoon, love language was not limited to words and showing your love and affection for each other through acts was important because this was how you two worked the best, it was your thing, especially when you needed to chase your worries and insecurities away.
Sometimes between you and Jihoon, no words were needed.
At first taken aback by your action, Jihoon stayed still, appreciating the feeling of your lips against his. No matter what they always felt soft and plushy soft pressing on his own.
Once he regained control of himself a few seconds after he gently placed one hand on one of your thigh while the other rested at the back of your neck as he was finally returning the kiss.
Kissing him always felt like the first time. You always thought that even after years of dating your stomach will still be filled with butterflies, that you would never stop discovering the faint smell of musk lingering on his clothes. You would always feel that spark within you, discovering the feeling of his lips for the first time every time.
His kisses were soft, loving, passionate. He never needed to be rough to express the strength of his emotions.
He slowly pulled away so you two could take a breath, pressing your forehead together you felt the soft air coming from his lips tickling your own which drew a small smile your lips before he started to place sloppy kisses along your jaw, coming down to your neck.
Peppering the area with light, quick kisses he then started to suck softly on it, not necessarily leaving any mark, just wanting you to enjoy the sensation it was giving you. He sure knew what to do with those lips as your breath started to quicken, sounds that could be mistaken as moans coming out of your lips.
He pulled his lips away from your neck and made his way back to yours. His lips were warm and soft. They parted slightly, allowing your tongue to slip inside. The hand that was previously resting on your thigh was now softly massaging the area while the other went from the back of your neck to your jawline so he could take control of the kiss. It was not a question of power here, he just wanted to show you everything he was feeling and for that he needed you to just receive all he had to give.
His thumb was now rubbing small circles on your cheek as he slowed down his pace, only brushing his tongue against your lips every now and then, focusing on exclusively pressing his lips against your for loving lingering kisses. His other hand stroking your leg went up the middle of your back as he finally pulled you close to him for a tight hug.
Soft pants could be heard coming from both of you as you held onto each other for dear life.
Jihoon broke the silence :
“I love you more than anything in this universe, you know that right?” he asked, looking for reassurance in your answer.
You pulled back to look at him, letting your loving gaze rest on his you said :
“Of course I do, and I love you too, more than words can express.”
Yeah sometimes no words were needed between you two because all you needed was each other, nothing more.
359 notes · View notes
catiuskaa · 4 months
Text
charcoal, paint, post-its and tape.
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SUMMARY: seeing your boyfriend’s messy art studio, you couldn’t help but want to try and surprise him with a painting of the most gorgeous piece of art you knew: him.
REQUESTED! here by my pookie wookie @4ln-stay8, and honey, this was a beautiful idea! i love writing about art and hyunjin and hyunjin and art (and hyunjin) lol, hope you like! <3
CW: hurt/comfort, mentions of anxiety, reader is really hard on herself as a perfectionist (which sadly i can relate), crying and cursing, lots of fluffy comfort in the end!
WC: 1.6k
[☆🌷🖼️🌷☆]
You hate it.
Your hand feels cramped, your head hurts and you’re close to breaking the paper if you keep on erasing the same lines over and over again.
But it’s hideous.
It’s a sad excuse of an attempt in art and you hate it.
You were tempted to kick the sketchbook away, but knowing that it belonged to your boyfriend, to hyunjin, who could actually do art, made you refrain from doing so, opting to just harshly shove it away from your lap.
It wasn’t fair. You’d seen tutorials. You had practiced beforehand. You went as far as to use his anatomy books to study it, wanting to be able to do justice to his ethereal, beautiful self by at least getting proportions right.
But no. Art wasn’t accepting your preposterous attempt to join into it.
Hyunjin entered your shared apartment as he hummed a random melody, happy to come back a bit earlier than usual, his head drifting off to how he could surprise you and what kind of activity the both of you could do with the newly-founded time.
But he froze after he kicked his shoes off at the entrance.
“Angel?” He called, and you cursed, but barely had any time to put anything back into place as he followed the sound of your gentle sobs.
“Hyun…” you started.
“My love.” He crouched down next to you, looking at you as if you held the stars and the moon just for him. “Want to tell me what’s wrong? Mhh?” He hummed shortly, his hands traveling to your face and stroking it sweetly.
You stared at him, your heart troubled, so the only coherent response you could come up was throwing yourself to his arms.
The long-haired artist hugged you tightly in response, a part of him appreciating having the type of trust that allowed you to break before him and let him watch you reasemble with a little helping hand.
You sniffed, then shook your head sideways.
“Are we doing the nod and shake?” He smiled in efforts of making you join him, which you did shortly, and he allowed himself to take that as a win. “We can do that, pretty. Nod if you want to.” He snickered.
But you shook your head, staring down at the forgotten sketchbook.
“I-it’s just th-a-at I… I w-wanted… wanted to surprise you… b-because I-I wa-s trying to paint…”
Hyunjin’s face shined upon your confesion.
“My pretty girl was painting?” He chimed back with a gleeful joy. “But you’re not having fun. What happened?”
You just shrugged, sinking your head in your hands. “It’s horrible.”
“Can I see it?”
Watching you nod, it was only then when Hyunjin separated himself from you just enough to grab the sketch, then sprung back to your side.
A silence only broken by your unsteady breathing clouded the house as he viewed the canvas.
“Do you want my opinion, my advice, or my shoulder to keep crying?” He offered soothingly, and you rolled your eyes at his last mention. “What? My shoulders are very comfortable. I don’t even charge if you leave tears on my shirt, you know.” Hyunjin teased with a smile that you were quick to match. Another win for him.
“I just… I don’t know…” you sighed, melting against him. “It’s… ugh.”
He stared at your piece in silence, which you didn’t, only zoned out, playing with your hands as the silence crept up your spine.
What if he hated it too?
“It’s just like how you do with your post-its.”
He interrupted your spiral of thoughts, and you blinked at him, so Hyunjin repeated himself with a gentle smile. You then sniffed, a small chuckle fighting to get out in the midst of frustated tears. “What are you on about?”
“You have your cute organizing board filled with post it notes, don’t you, lovely?”
You nodded, but scoffed, still submerged in the depth of the painting —or rather lack thereof. “What’s that got to do with anyth-“
You trailed off when his hands, still a bit colder from the weather outside, cradled your face, forcing you to look at him, a beautiful sight you didn’t notice you were evading.
“Listen to me for a second. Please?” He pleaded, eyes soft, and giggled sweetly when you pouted, a petty way of letting him know you were listening. You blushed when he kissed you.
“So. Your post it notes.” Hyunjin smiled. “You stick them on the board, but often, they slip down, right?” He asked, to which you nodded. “And when that happens, I noticed your little trick, brains.” He booped your nose, and you couldn’t help but smile coyly. “Tell me, beauty. What do you do when they don’t stick?”
“I… I put a small piece of tape on the back.” “And it works like magic,” he grinned, beaming in a kind of proudness you had never seen on anyone, not when it came from others aside from themselves. And it mended your frustrated heart to see him like this, his now warmer hands stroking your cheeks.
He took one of your hands, and with a strained groan, reached to his pencil cade, grabbed a piece of charcoal and stained your hand with it, kissing your palm sweetly
“These are now the hands of an artist. And artists, just like you and me, can be quite like those little post it notes of yours. We bend right after taking us out of the package.” He chuckled, and you followed along, letting the sound of his voice lift your spirit. “It won’t matter how, there can always be a crease, or the glue won’t stick right, or the color is too blinding, maybe too dull, perhaps the paper got stained with paint or ink.” He stared at you, deeply so, allowing you to see through him, allowing you to understand.
This wasn’t about post it notes. Not anymore.
He continued. “But, just as your post its, sometimes…” he smiled. “Sometimes all we need is a bit of tape to stick in place.”
He kissed your tears away one by one, allowing your breathing to even out, matching and following his as you relaxed against him.
“Let me help you stick back on the board.” He looked at your lips in a flash, then bashfully went back to your eyes. “Let me be your tape.”
He hugged you tightly, and he showed you the sketch.
“To me it looks fine, beauty.” He started. “It’s a really nice attempt. Would I redo some things? Probably, if I wanted to be really perfectionist, because it doesn’t look bad at all. Or maybe I’d let the color do its magic.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “The thing about drawing is that we cannot let it control us, hoping to achieve perfection. That can’t be achieved, my love.” Hyunjin laughed. “Even what we see sometimes doesn’t look right in real life. There are references and references, and if a drawing’s sketch isn’t quite what we’re looking, sometimes we may need another one.”
You stared at him softly, comforted in his honest commentary.
“I can help you. You know were to find me.” He smiled sweetly.
“I…” you sniffed, staring at your charcoal-stained hand.
“I just want a coffee right now.”
You both giggled as you stood back up, and he engulfed you in a bear hug, picking you up and carrying you to the kitchen, determined to make you the best coffe in the whole year.
It wasn’t until the next morning that you found him puting your first sketch next to his. Only this time, instead of his usual messy tape lines, yours han bits of tape glued to the back.
Little by little, charcoal and paint helped post-its and tape, but even with the smallest things, it could certainly be the other way around.
And Hyunjin loved it any kind of way— Hyunjin loved you, post-its, charcoal stains and all.
[☆🌷🖼️🌷☆]
catiuskaa, may 2024 ©
~kats, who will now go to bed with my own cup of hot milk (not coffee lol, and sadly not made by hyunjin either)
336 notes · View notes
woniverse-writes · 1 year
Text
"Moth to a Flame (part 5)"
Bada Lee x Reader
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part 4 ⟵ part 5 ⟶ part 6
series masterlist
summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.
word count: 6k
warnings: swearing, angst, y/n is a little psycho asshole in this chapter, but like- bada.... eeh scary, a lot of plot changes cuz I like playing the victim lol, not proofread, ending was kind of rushed, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction
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Shortly after Rie Hata’s message finished playing on the monitors all teams wrapped up their fun and began heading back to the studio to begin preparing for the mega crew mission. They all dry their hair and get changed, reapplying their makeup to prepare for filming again, when the host appears with another message. He congratulates the remaining teams for surviving, and at the mention of Tsubakill’s elimination y/n and the rest of Jam Republic immediately frown. 
Daniel continues to explain the mission and informs them that there will be three different concepts that they have to use, but the way they will be decided is by group discussion. On top of that team Bebe has the benefit of going straight for whatever concept they want without discussion. The three creative prompts consisted of ‘outdoor’, ‘structure’, and ‘all gender’. 
“Ooh we could definitely do something sick with structures” Audrey perked up and her partner-in-crime nodded in agreement before speaking
“Yeah but honestly I think we could do well with any of these…” y/n countered smirking cockily prompting Emma to hum and hold out her hand for a high five.
“I personally feel like we should go for outdoors. I already have so many ideas for what we could do and I know some of you do too…” the leader chimed in, eyeing Ling and Y/n at the mention of other members having ideas. They decide to have their three creative directors be Kirsten, Ling, and Y/n and the three begin coming up with their own separate ideas, with the help of another member. 
When the crew came back together after a few moments of planning and creative briefing, they all shared their ideas. Kirsten came up with the idea of showcasing the beauty of New Zealand since it was most of their crew’s homeland- she wanted to shoot on the beach and have the rocks behind them. Ling’s idea was to take more of an approach that would appeal to their Korean audience, by incorporating more K-pop dance styles and music and shooting in the heart of the city with all the lights in the back. Everyone really liked both ideas, but y/n’s quickly became their favorite when she explained it.
“Okay so this might be too much, and could easily get muddled- but what if we did a sports theme? Like- we each represent a different sport or activity while also representing our culture or background… each of us could get a highlight and we’d all have our “teams” that would dance in our own styles- then we’d all come together in the end as a sort of pep-rally type thing…” y/n finished off the basic ideas of her take, and everyone immediately either nodded or clapped, thoroughly impressed with how quickly she had come up with such an elaborate idea.
“And this is exactly why you’re here girlfriend- forever a genius…” the leader nodded and smiled at her youngest, clapping her hands slowly and appreciatively. It was an idea that could work with all three concepts so the team decided to mark y/n’s as the top choice as of right now.
When all the teams gathered to pick their concept Jam Republic and Bebe were the only groups that chose something other than ‘structure’, Jam Republic sticking to their outdoor idea and Bebe going with the all gender category. After the pink team explained why they picked what they did, it caused Deep n Dap to change their pick to outdoor as well, saying it was because they felt their crew could easily rival Jam Republic, which caused Kirsten to maturely and professionally nod, while y/n covered her mouth and snickered.
After Jam Republic has guaranteed themselves a spot in the outdoor concept, they head back to their team hideout and begin to plan out their ideas in full. Y/n already begins to map out choreography for her and Ling’s sections, while Emma does the same for herself and Audrey, leaving Kirsten and Latrice to pair up. The girls decided to head back to New Zealand and take advantage of the scenery as part of the expression of their members’ culture. It was a nice blend of y/n and Kirsten’s concepts. 
______
Y/n and Bada hadn’t really talked much since they began preparing for the Mega Crew mission, both focusing on their team’s success. Although they still texted daily, sometimes it was only a quick good morning or goodnight, while other times they had fuller conversations.
‘Have a safe flight, text me when you land plz!’ y/n read the message right before she got on the plane. She felt her heart swell at the little gesture of care, hearting the message and replying with a selfie of her in the airport paired with the words ‘thank you lovey, I will <3’.
Jam Republic boarded their plane and took off from South Korea to New Zealand, with many plans already going wrong as soon as the plane was in the air. You see, they had just been informed of how bad the weather was in the area, then about how many of the dancers they called for wouldn’t be able to make it. Each member was responsible for contacting and securing 10 members to come dance with them, explaining how the show would be paying for their trip and all the dancers had to do was show up and give it their best. It started off really well, with each of them actually coming back with more than 10 dancers. Then the weather hit. Flights were canceled or delayed to the point where people wouldn’t make it in enough time to learn the dance. On top of that, their idea to shoot at the beach was totally scrapped due to the intense winds. With the major setbacks of losing over half their dancers and not being able to use their original scene, the girls had to redo choreography and practically start the whole project over.
“This can’t be happening…” y/n was the first to start spiraling, ever the drama queen- but this time it was very justified. All six members of the crew stood in a circle in the middle of the studio floor, eyes flitting back and forth between each other and their leader, who was staring at the floor deep in thought. Kirsten let out a huge sigh and crossed her arms tensely.
“I’m sorry girls… but I really don’t know what we’re gonna do…” the leader ran her hands down her face and let out another deep breath, turning away for a moment with her hands on her hips. At that moment, the youngest realized how serious the situation really was, seeing as her leader wasn’t presenting her usual calm self. Typically when there was an issue, Kirsten was calm, cool, and collected- even if it seemed unsolvable… she always had an answer no matter what.
y/n being the perfectionist she is, began racking her brain for any possible solutions, already feeling her lungs begin to collapse at the possibility of complete failure. On top of being a perfectionist, the young girl also had a pretty bad case of savior complex, feeling like she had to fix everyone’s problems, especially when there was no one else who could- even if she knew that she herself probably wouldn’t be able to fix it either (at least not without bending over backward and bleeding herself dry). 
“No… no we can easily fix this-” all eyes went to the youngest member who ran off to grab all their notebooks and bring them back over to where the crew still stood. She spread them out, riffling through the pages until she found ideas they could use. 
“We can still use the stadium… it won’t be as grand of a scale as we wanted, but that can still work. And- and we can make it related to New Zealand instead of all of our different backgrounds, so it’s easier to put together and less choreography to make up… we can fix this!” y/n was frantically and hopefully (delusionally) explaining her ideas, trying as hard as she could to bring the team’s morale back up. They sat down in their circle and began connecting the ideas, just hoping for the best at this point
Even though the Jam Republic girls were frustrated, they only let it fuel their will to work even harder. It crushed y/n a little to have to scrap her idea, knowing it would’ve brought them an easy win, but she was determined to make their new routine strong. The team had ultimately decided to keep the athletic theme but changed it quite a bit to highlight rugby which was a big part of New Zealand culture. The girls planned on dancing in the bleachers and on the field to portray a Friday night lights feel, or a game- since it technically was still a competition between them and deep n dap.
A few days go by and it isn’t getting any easier for Jam Republic. As much as they try to stay positive, the insane lack of dancers makes it hard to achieve the impact they’re going for. Y/n kept saying how they needed to keep trying to find more dancers, but Kirsten just wanted to focus on perfecting the routine with what they had. The young girl also kept mentioning little ideas and elements to add in order to amplify the concept they were going for, but again the leader was more focused on solidifying the present piece. Y/n ended up getting so frustrated that she would just randomly start tearing up and crying during their breaks, not allowing herself to stop for more than 30 seconds, grabbing a quick sip of water, and then immediately going back to practicing. She thought that maybe if she gave it her all, she wouldn’t be as disappointed in herself when she wasn’t satisfied with the outcome. 
Of course, all of the girls were on edge but they at least were able to put it aside at some moments, still being able to enjoy parts of the process. y/n tried her best not to let her teammates see how anxious and worked up she was, but the girl was so overwhelmed with fear of failure that it would be impossible for anyone not to see it. Which is why it made everything so much worse for her when she continued to go through the rest of the preparation without a single person asking what was wrong. Y/n understood- really, she did. Everyone needed to focus on the end goal, and that meant there wasn’t time to deal with her feelings.
Bada was beginning to worry, seeing as the last response she had gotten from y/n was days ago. The girl had landed her flight and texted the Bebe leader immediately, letting her know she was safe, but also explaining the problems that had already arisen. They talked briefly about how the pink team was likely going to have to restart everything if the weather didn’t ease up. Then a couple of days later, they talked on the phone about the complete concept change and reboot of their whole routine. Y/n tried to keep her stress to a minimum, not wanting to be a burden to the other girl who was also beginning to get stressed. 
It had been many days since then, and she’d texted the younger girl three separate times as well as tried calling her twice. Bada finally got a response the day before Jam Republic would be flying back to Korea for the midterm mission check, where they as well as the other teams would be reviewing each other’s practice videos of the choreography. It had been a somewhat longer text message reading ‘hi. I’m really sorry for not responding at all for the last few days. I know you’re probably just as stressed as i am, so I’m sorry for not being able to be there. Things haven’t been going good over here and I’m honestly really scared to present what we have… but I’m sure everything will be fine haha. How have you been?’
Bada felt her heart clench at the girl’s words, understanding why she wasn’t responding but still feeling a bit upset nonetheless. It hurt her to see y/n try to brush off her stress and redirect her attention so it would focus on caring for others instead of caring for herself.
Jam Republic arrives back in South Korea and heads straight to the studio to film their reactions and judgments of the other teams. They immediately make their way to their pink hideout passing by other crews, but not having time to mingle or really do anything more than smile and wave. The girls were exhausted from the flight, jetlag, and overworking themselves. y/n didn’t even realize team Bebe wasn’t with the rest of the crews when they passed through the lobby.
Bebe sat in their room, feeling more anxious than usual, a bad vibe floating through the air. No one could quite put their finger on it, but something definitely wasn’t right and it was causing all of the members to feel its effects. It officially came time for all crews to review each dance practice video. Each team’s video played one by one and the members had time to fill out the review cards before moving on to the next. 
Bebe’s video played next and the reactions were not positive, to say the least. Everyone seemed disappointed by the piece as a whole, expecting something much bigger- the music was too big of a risk, the props were poorly utilized, and it was overall just too simple. It wasn’t a bad video- it just didn’t meet anyone’s expectations since they were all waiting for some elaborate project, knowing Bada was very capable of doing so. Shortly after, a similar reaction was felt while everyone watched the Jam Republic video.
“They don’t have enough people…” Mina Myoung was the first to observe the team’s lack of crew members. They even paused the video to count how many were shown, seeing 28, which was under the minimum limit of 30 people.
“It honestly isn’t powerful enough… it’s just not impressive” Buckey commented, crossing her arms over her chest. Yoonji sighed and frowned.
“This is so sad… I was really rooting for them” The girl mumbled, genuinely feeling pity for the international team, hoping they’d be able to pull through.
When it came down to voting for the team that should be eliminated, Jam Republic ultimately chose Bebe. They were originally tied between voting for Bebe and Wolf'lo, with y/n fighting her best fight to vote for Wolf'lo because it just didn't look entertaining to her and they had no story or plot.
"y/n…" Kirsten started off in a warning but gentle tone
"We can’t just not pick Bebe because of you and Bada… this is a competition babe." and y/n was kinda hurt by that because she knows how to be objective and she didn't even think she was biasing Bebe- she just personally didn't like Wolf'lo and thought they should be eliminated over any other team.
Then it finally came down to the results. Each team would be given a scorecard showing the comments and feedback they’d received from the others. One card would reveal the team voted as most likely to place first, and another would reveal who was most likely to be eliminated. When Jam Republic opens their card, it felt like all of the air suddenly got sucked out of the room. 
“God DAMN” Audrey laughed humorlessly in absolute shock, as they all stared at the words ‘MOST AT RISK FOR ELIMINATION’ in big bold letters at the top. y/n stopped breathing for a few seconds and she’s pretty sure everyone else did too, seeing as there was not a single sound to be heard in the dressing room. The young girl once again tried to convince herself to think rationally, but couldn’t get past the anxiety and crushing weight of failure that was starting to fill her lungs. She wasn’t even angry, even though she should’ve been because she understood. y/n understood that they didn’t meet the criteria, and their dance simply wasn’t as put together as it should've been, especially in comparison to other teams/
What really got her emotional was realizing that Bebe- that BADA- voted for them too… it felt like such betrayal and she wore that shit on her face like usual. But still- she didn't feel angry, just betrayed and heartbroken, and really fucking disappointed. The more mature and logical side of y/n was still trying not to jump to conclusions because maybe it wasn’t Bada that decided… Maybe it was the same situation her team had going on- maybe Bada didn’t want to vote for Jam Republic but the majority of others did. Y/n truly did understand everyone’s reasoning, but that didn’t make it hurt any less, especially having Bada vote to eliminate her as well
“It’s gonna be okay lovey… I promise” Kirsten wrapped her arm around the youngest’s shoulders and whispered reassuringly to her as she watched her begin to have a mental breakdown. Moments later, the rest of the crew’s ranking was revealed, showing 1 Million in first and Jam Republic in last, but also- Bebe in sixth, the second to last place. Seeing this, Bada sighed and began to have her own slight mental breakdown.
Some teams celebrated their rankings while others sat quietly, reviewing the feedback and pondering what to do. Jam Republic sat in silence as Kirsten read over the comments. Y/n sat by her side with her head in her hands sobbing silently, so overwhelmed that she didn’t know what to do. The entire team was at a loss, and soon Kirsten started crying too, wrapping and arm around the youngest members, who finally let her emotions be shown to her team. The loud cries were the only sound in the room.
Y/n was able to calm herself down after about 20 minutes of crying. The poor girl felt so awful about how things were going feeling responsible for a lot of it- thinking that maybe if she had pushed her ideas a little more, or gotten in contact with more people, or even just tried a little harder, maybe Jam Republic could’ve done so much better. Even though she’s calmed down, tears still flow down her face without her even realizing it. Y/n was never angry at anyone else for their opinions, but now she’s feeling awfully spiteful towards herself. The youngest member was filled with so much resentment and self-hatred, that it immediately sent her into an inescapable depression.
The show writers and staff were cruel. So cruel for making these girls show off their inspiration boards and creative briefs live in front of the other teams. Each team explains their given concept and how they came up with the details to highlight what they chose. While it was much more of a relaxed environment (in the sense that there would be no feedback or ranking based on this), a majority of contestants were nowhere near feeling at ease. 
The members of Jam Republic were able to build themselves back up and put on their game faces while presenting, except for y/n. She really did try her best to not look like she was about to cry at the drop of a hat, but it was no use. The girl was simply not herself. The small girl’s usually bright and energetic personality was nowhere to be found, not once cracking even a hint of a smile- even when Jam Republic received immense praise for their ideas. She didn’t find any enjoyment in the other crew’s presentations, although to be fair she wasn’t really able to focus on them- she just sat there in a daze.
It made everyone nervous to see Jam Republic’s youngest member like this. Her members noticed that she had become even more irritable than before- but now in a scary way that genuinely had them concerned for themselves and everyone else. The girl was calm but you could just feel the rage and depression and resentment radiating off of her to the point it made chills run down your spine.
_________
After every crew had shared their ideas and idea boards, they were allowed to go back to head back to their hideouts to discuss any adjustments or further plans that had to be made before returning to their projects. Jam Republic had to get right back on a plane in a few hours to head back to New Zealand and somehow fix their entire routine, again.
Y/n just finished walking up the staircase leading from the fight zone to the crew lounges, when she heard someone call out her name from closely behind her. The girl turned around to come face to face with the tall leader she had been talking with for the last few months.
“Hey, are you okay? I called your name like three times…” Bada questioned worriedly, her eyebrows furrowed and head tilted as she waited for the younger girl’s response, with wide caring eyes.
“...I'm just really tired” y/n whispered in the meekest voice possible, already feeling her eyes start to sting again, but trying to cover it up with a smile. Bada sighs and pulls her into a big hug, and surprisingly y/n doesn’t burst into tears. The girl continues to try as hard as possible to keep the droplets from escaping her eyes as she squeezes them shut.
“Look… I’m really sorry” the older of the two began resting her head atop y/n’s, but the shorter one felt her body tense at the apology already not liking where the conversation was headed. y/n let go of Bada’s waist and backed away, waiting for the older girl to continue.
“It wasn’t personal… the dance was still very good, and it’ll look even better with all of the ideas planned out!” she finished, referring to how her team had voted Jam Republic as the worst crew. Y/n’s face lost any emotion she had regained, looking empty and exhausted again, making Bada’s skin prickle.
“no, I understand” was all y/n spoke, already trying to disconnect from reality to save herself from crying again or making a bigger fool out of herself than she already has. But Bada is only more upset by the reaction, seeing as y/n just doesn’t seem at all like herself. The girl genuinely looks empty inside and no one on the show has ever seen her like this, in fact- no one in Jam Republic has even seen her like this and they’re all beginning to become extremely worried about her. And even though it’s clear the small girl just needs time and space, Bada decides to keep talking 
“The vote was objective I promise, I don’t want you to think anything personally of it” At the end of the older girl’s sentence, y/n just felt the tiniest bit of a scowl make its way onto her face, feeling pissed off at the thought of someone once again thinking she doesn’t understand the concept of a competition.
“Obviously- I’m not stupid, this is a competition.” the harsh tone that comes out of the younger really throws Bada for a loop because she has never seen y/n speak to or about anyone like this- and it makes her feel sick to her stomach that her first time witnessing it is directed at her.
“I- no, what? Of course you’re not stupid! I just wanted to make sure… to make sure you knew. That’s all.” Bada started off a bit panicked and emotional but quickly was able to calm down and speak rationally, understanding the younger girl was known to have a bit of a temper. There was a long silent pause.
"did you decide on Jam Republic?" y/n asked a bit accusatorily
"Huh?" the older tilted her head, still absolutely confused about how this situation was occurring right now.
"did YOU, as in yourself, Bada Lee, decide to vote Jam Republic as the team to be eliminated, or was it someone else's idea…" There was silence for a moment before Bada sighed then pursed her lips
"We all decided-" 
"but who's idea was it? Did you even argue it? Were you even thinking of anyone else? Or did you just immediately decide and agree that my team should be the next to go?" Bada didn’t say anything as she started to get a little frustrated, but she watched as y/n just scoffed at the lack of response and turned to walk away, rolling her eyes. Bada followed her and pulled her aside, a few feet away from the outside of Bebe's dressing room
"well you voted for my team as the worst, so how is this any fair at all?" the tall leader finally let her emotions take control of her as she shot back with much less frustration than her counterpart, but still irritated nonetheless.
"because I didn't want to vote for you! I fought to vote Wolf'lo over you guys because I know you don't deserve to go home! I understand it from an objective perspective- I promise Bada, I do- but that doesn't make it hurt any less!" There were a few beats of silence before y/n continued
"and it's honestly really infuriating that you don't think I understand that this is a competition-" she finished off quieter than before but still filled with annoyance and betrayal.
"WOAH- now when did I EVER say that??" now it was Bada’s turn to blow up
 "Oh my god- you don't have to say it! You clearly think I'm just here to have fun and make friends!" y/n once again raised her voice, this time rising in pitch as well.
"Why would you say that??" Bada fired back and was immediately met with the calmest tone of voice y/n had spoken in since the argument began, and it terrified her.
"Bada- you haven't seen me as a threat once this entire competition… have you? Not to you, not to your team…" Bada stuttered for a second, completely blindsided by the argument
"where is this all coming from y/n?" the tall girl asked, genuinely concerned. y/n sighed and her eyes softened, shook her head.
"never mind" She turned and went to walk away, but Bada grabbed her by the wrist again and dragged her inside the blue team room, closing the door behind her
"you need to speak to me. You need to communicate with me what's going on right now because whatever you're feeling is totally valid- we had a rough day out there- fuck, we’ve had a rough few days, especially you- but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on me… so please tell what's wrong, so I can try to help." the older girl calmly and gently explained her thoughts and feelings to the girl in front of her, and y/n almost cracked. almost.
“I think it’s best for me to focus on the competition… building relationships clearly isn’t working out to my benefit" Her previously soft and watery eyes, had quickly cleared up within a few seconds, leaving her looking cold and unapproachable again. The response was petty and childish, y/n herself knew that, but she said to hurt Bada. 
why do you want to hurt Bada? She was apologizing, why are you making this harder? You’re being childish and proving everyone right- you’re not fit for this competition, you’re too young y/n and you don’t know how to handle things when you actually need to.
The younger girl’s internal dialogue was emotional and resentful towards herself, but for once, the expression on her face didn’t show how she was truly feeling. The anger and hatred taking over her features wasn’t directed towards the older girl in front of her, which is what anyone witnessing the interaction would assume. y/n could feel her stomach churning and her face getting hot with embarrassment. She didn’t understand why she was acting like this and didn’t know how to get herself to stop.
It felt like hours had passed before Bada spoke again and when she did it was led by an aggressive scoff.
“You can’t be serious right now…” she challenged so calmly that it sent a chill up y/n’s spine, the younger girl’s resolve finally breaking down and it became apparent that she wasn’t actually as tough as she was trying to be. Bada could see the cold glare falter for a split second, watching as her eyes became full of emotion before the younger was able to reel it in again.
“Why wouldn’t I be serious? This is a competition and the only people I should be trusting are my teammates, I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get in the way of things…” y/n responded just as calmly. If anyone else were to be present for the interaction they probably would've froze to death due to how cold the two were being.
“Next time I'll make sure to vote objectively and solely based on what I see in front, instead of trying to think about who deserves to be here more.” she finished with an empty, tight-lipped smile, tilting her head feigning understanding, and Bada let out a humorless chuckle
“God- have you always been this manipulative?” it was her turn to try and hurt the other girl. y/n’s cocky grin dropped immediately and she straightened up entirely.
“Excuse me?” the younger girl furrowed her brows and scowled again
“You heard me…” Bada replied cooly and nonchalantly as if this were any other normal conversation 
“I came to you, apologizing for what I did and your response to that is to start an argument- and THEN when you realize you’re in the wrong, you try to turn it on me?” the older girl finished, voice rising slightly
“I never turned it on you- I said how I needed to focus on the competition and stop being so friendly with everyone, how are you so self-absorbed to think that was about you?” y/n could barely even get her last word out before the other was shouting over her.
“BECAUSE IT WAS- it so obviously was a dig at me y/n, because who else are you close with? Huh??” the volume of Bada’s voice caused the younger girl to flinch, no longer being able to preserve her emotions. The tall girl took a few steps forward and leaned down, getting in y/n’s face.
“Who else can actually stand being around you…” shot after shot fired, Bada was doing a much better job at hurting y/n than y/n was doing hurting Bada. She wasn’t even thinking about how she used to tell herself that she would never be the reason y/n would be crying, and now here she is, feeling satisfied when she sees a single tear run down the girl's face. She wasn’t paying attention to how it sucked all the air out of her lungs and made her stomach turn in disgust, only noticing the minuscule feeling of satisfaction.
“I think it’s so funny how you say that, knowing damn well you get jealous any time someone even looks at me… you know better than anybody that anyone in this fucking place would love to be in your position-” and this caused Bada to let out a loud laugh of disbelief, backing away slightly before getting right back in her face
“Yeah? Then how come nobody even paid attention to you until I took notice… you know that’s the only reason you’re popular, right? If it had been anyone else, no one would’ve cared… admit it to yourself, nobody wants to be in my place y/n- they all wanna be in yours, so maybe think about how lucky you are…” Bada didn’t believe in a single thing that was coming out of her mouth, she honestly couldn’t even believe her own voice hearing how condescending and spiteful the words sounded as they left her lips. She could feel a slight ringing in her ears, part of her brain processing it as a tiny voice screaming at her to stop and that she was making a mistake. But the damage was already done.
Y/n was barely holding back tears anymore, pursing her lips and clenching her jaw did nothing to stop the flow of salty droplets from streaming down her face. Her nostrils flared slightly as she swallowed down sobs and tightly closed her eyes.
“I’m not having this conversation anymore…” she managed to get the words out without sounding horribly choked up as she turns away to leave, hand about to turn the knob as the older girl lets out another dry chuckle.
“Oh so now you wanna act mature? Let me tell you this isn’t the mature way to handle the situation anymore- you don’t know how to talk to people or resolve conflict, in fact you’re NOT confrontational at all, and are really just a scared little girl who’s all bark and no bite. You’re such a child- that’s all you are- is a FUCKING child…” it’s dead silent after Bada’s done screaming at her. Y/n turns around slowly and just stands there for a moment with a blank stare, then lets out the most dry, humorless laugh. It honestly scares the shit out of the older girl, eyes going wide and face paling, coming to her senses and realizing how fucked the situation was. 
Y/n was smiling and laughing, albeit a little psychotically, all while still crying- she had finally snapped, and Bada was terrified. The girl in front of her could easily be a danger to herself, and possibly others in the state she was in, but all the leader could think about was how there was probably no coming back from this. The younger of the two just closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and nodding at Bada with a tight-lipped smile, taking a deep breath.
“Okay” y/n smiles painfully as tears continue to run down her face- she turns around, swings the door open, and slams it shut as she walks out. The silence that followed was broken only seconds later as Bada heard the sobs that were almost immediately released by the girl who had just left.
y/n hadn’t even noticed the rest of Bada’s team standing around the corner, as she walked in the other direction to head back to her own room. Once she was far enough away, Lusher led the group quietly into their space seeing their leader sat on the couch with her head in her hands.
“Hey…” she speaks quietly, and Bada looks up with an empty look in her eyes, but tries to hide it when she realizes her team is present. Before she can even try to pretend nothing happened, the sub-leader was speaking up again
“We heard everything…” Bada sighed and felt tears pricking her eyes, disappointment and heartbreak finally taking over as she realized how fucked up the things she said were. The younger members sat around their leader and rubbed her arm or leg while they all watched with sad eyes as she sobbed. This was going to be a rough next few days.
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notes: i'm so sorry...
taglist (open): @tinybada @angel-hyuckie @violetinferno @jesuschrist2006 @1luvkarina @uwulyn @justandloyal2961 @deadgirlwalking3 @heeheemich @squidvoldyvoid @vivzyo @ouhaika @jksjx @ocyeanicc @marianamartinsthings @jxrdxnh @luvjanexx @lorenztired @khjssss @heavenlycloud @loisje123 @starchasermyloves @zhivaxo @grinnwolph @notyourd0lly @stinkbvgs @nermandiiiii-blog @abllucena @arujee @idontknownemore @thatgayinsomniac @l-a-u-r-a--b @fruitr0llup @cgriffin9797-blog @woooooya @kaaylvst @ssc7514 @astoreea @linda-botello @kpopgirl-97 @erikook @majookim @okjaeminn @misszoldyc @sammisregrets @jysai @moonsvrse @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @aestrelle19 @laaaasanielzz @randomhoex @tswisal1 @leasha25823 @unpretty-reader @charlesswife
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storm-angel989 · 5 months
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Can I request a girl dad Vox where his teenage daughter is going through her emo phase. at the same time going through puberty, and she's just at that stage where she's like "I hate you all" and it really hurts Vox because she's always been her little girl and maybe it ends with them making up and just being goofy like watching her favorite movies. Like super daddy's girl esk until then and his world just stops when she starts pulling away. I LOVE GIRL DAD VOX.
This was such a fun request! Thanks for sending!! <3
The attitude shift came overnight. Vox couldn’t pinpoint exactly when his daughter changed her nail polish from pink to black, or when she started to wear only the black pieces from her wardrobe. But he could absolutely remember the first time she snapped at him over a simple question. As she left the breakfast table and slammed the door shut behind her, Vox looked to Valentino and Velvette for guidance. 
“She’s growing up,” Velvette said through sips of her coffee. “Just be patient. Let her come to you and give her space.”
And so, Vox tried. I mean, honestly, he really did try. He let every snarky response, every too loud blast of music pass. Hell, the morning she woke up and poured herself a cup of coffee he almost blew a gasket. She was sixteen, she didn’t need coffee, he started to say, but Valentino cut him off and guided reader back to the kitchen. 
“Cream and sugar, little princessa, will help you get used to the taste,” Valentino said gently. 
Vox heard her mutter something he couldn’t quite make out but her tone certainly sounded rude. He stood up to scold her but Velvette grabbed his hand. 
“Pick your battles, Vox. This isn’t it.” Velvette said. “It’s only a phase.”
And so he gave her as much freedom as he felt he could while still being an active, involved parent. He kept on top of her grades and gave her the space she demanded and he thought for sure that respecting her privacy would get at least an “I love you Daddy,” on occasion. The most he got from her was a slightly less intense look of disdain every time he asked a question or a task of her. It seemed to him Daddy’s Little Girl was no longer. 
The hair dye was the final straw. Pretty brunette turned box dye black in a matter of hours. A bathroom splattered with splotches of black and a sink stained so badly Vox was sure it would never come out. Her beautiful brunette hair was now an odd shade of gray. He felt his anger grow as he saw the remnants of her activities and with a yell, he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her downstairs to Velvelettes studio. 
“Where did you even get this?” Vox asked in frustration as he watched Velvette’s assistant try to scrub the stains from behind her ears. “And why? You had such pretty hair!”
“Why does it matter?” She snapped. “I can do what I want with my body. You can’t stop me.”
“I never said you couldn’t! But you have an entire salon two floors below your bedroom, why didn’t you just say something?” He asked in exasperation as Velvette walked over. 
“Because it’s my body! I just wanted to do something on my own for once without everything questioning me!” She screamed. 
And then she burst into tears. Vox could feel his heart breaking at the sound and pushed the assistant away as he pulled her into his arms. He expected her to push him away, but instead she leaned into his shoulder and cried.
“And now I’m ugly, and my hair sucks and I just, I just…” she let out a hiccuping sob. 
Vox recognized that noise. Even in her teenage years, that cry hadn’t changed. He pressed his hand to the back of her head gently, ignoring the leftover streaks of dye that stained his hands. 
“Hey, hey baby girl. It’s alright, Auntie Vel will get your hair fixed up,” he said as soothingly as he could. 
Velvette glanced up from behind the counter and took her place behind the chair. She gave Vox an encouraging look. 
Vox took a deep breath. Pick my battles, he thought to himself as he held his not so little girl anymore. 
“And I’m sure she’ll dye it black if that’s what you really want,” he conceded finally. 
Another sniffle from the face tucked into his shoulder. 
“Really, you’d let me do that?” She asked as she leaned back and rubbed at her eyes. 
“Only if you promise never to use box dye again,” he replied lightly. “The bathroom is a mess. We might have to repaint the entire thing.” 
She let out a ghost of a smile and he gently dabbed her eyes.
 “There there. No more tears. It’s okay.”
“Daddy? Can I ask you something?” She asked as Velvette quietly took her place behind the chair and began to work her way through the half brunette streaks of hair. 
“Anything, sweetheart.”
“Can…can we redo my room? I don’t want it pink anymore.” She said softly. “Please don’t be mad.”
He could feel his heart breaking for the second time that day, this time for an entirely different reason. She thought he would be mad at her? He tried to think back to when she would get that idea and quickly concluded now wasn’t the best time to analyze his own behavior. Not when he had those pretty blue eyes watching him, waiting desperately for a response. 
“Sure baby girl,” he replied with a kiss to her forehead. “How about we get your hair fixed up and then you and I can do some shopping and redesign the whole thing together tonight? How’s that sound?” 
Her eyes lit up. “That would be amazing! Thank you, Dad!” She stood up from the chair threw her arms around him. 
Velvette gave Vox an approving smile.
“Alright then you two, let's get to work so you guys can go have some fun!” She said cheerfully. 
A few hours later, Vox watched as reader admired her reflection in the mirror. Somewhere, it pained him that she wanted to run so far in the opposite direction. He wondered what he had done to lose her trust.
“Don’t take it personally,” Velvette said softly to Vox as he watched reader run her fingers through her hair. “She’s just trying to find her place in the world.”
“What do I do about the bedroom? I can’t have it all black, it would look awful.” He replied, “but unless I give in…”
“Boundaries, Vox. It’s a reasonable give and take. Sure, painting her entire room back would look awful. And It’s okay to hold an expectation and come to a compromise. Some part of her still wants to know you care about her. She’s just testing her limits. All teenagers do.” Velvette added. “But I would start with designing together on one of you computers and go from there.”
Several hours, zero tears and one phone in pizza order later, Vox and reader sat on the couch. For the first time in a long time, reader was in hysterics as they watched her favorite movie together.
“Hey, Dad?” She asked once she collected herself enough to speak. “I love you.”
Vox tried to keep his cool, but his heart soared. “Love you too,” he replied. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be your dad.”
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FAQs!
I go by Ice, she/her pronouns 💕. In case you had any of these questions, here you go:
1. "Why'd you make this page?"
I want to make the creation space- fandom to professional- more inclusive for people that look like me.
It is very disheartening when you really like something, and you see that oh! It's going to include a Black character! And then you get that character and... They're subpar. Especially in comparison to the usually white characters that have so much thought put into them. You accept them because you REALLY want that rep, but... We deserve to wholeheartedly accept our characters too, no ehhs about it.
I wanted to challenge myself, using my amateur art skills and my teaching skills, to convey to creators how that makes us feel, and little things they can do to more intentionally create their Black characters. There's more to us than adding to a diversity quota.
2. "So you aren't even a professional?"
I got 27.5 years of being a Black person on my resume 🤣 jokes aside, I am a self teaching artist. It's only been about a year for me. My more specific goal here is to use my skills to convey a perspective change towards Blackness, not necessarily a "how to do". If you want to learn the specific how-to's of drawing Black characters, there are Black artists all over Tumblr and the web that can show you. I actively encourage you to go check them out and support them, it's a great way to learn as well as to support our community!
3. "But if you're not a professional, why should I trust you?"
Well, again, because I don't have to be a professional to recognize when supposedly Black characters... Don't look like me 😅. Or, in writing, don't have any thought about me behind them. I could show my 87 year old Grandma some art and she'd recognize the issues.
But also, I personally believe that if you start from the foundations thinking about intentionally creating your Black characters, it'll make it much easier for you moving into the future. I am holding my hand out as a Black peer to HELP YOU! There are professional video games and art pieces and projects out there with poorly designed Black characters. The concept clearly needs to be introduced to the people somewhere before a million dollar project is release 🤣 But I can't talk to the people at the AAA studios. I can talk to you!
4. "I don't think race matters/should matter."
Alas, it does, everything we do is affected by our beliefs unconsciously or not- but I'm not going to waste my time and argue with you. This blog isn't for you 🤷🏾‍♀️ this blog is for those who want to take that first step to be better, both as creators and as people. 👍🏾
5. "Do you support AI?"
Not in the arts. Learn how to draw and/or write, it's very fulfilling.
6. "Do you answer asks?"
I do! However, this is a lesson based page, more than an ask based page. If I think your ask can be answered by one of my lessons, I'll refer you to that lesson. If it's an ask that's relevant to something coming up, I will answer it, but you will find more detail in the lesson coming up! I'm only one person doing this, and I can't answer every singular scenario. Also, keep in mind, if you ask me my opinion on something, I will be fair, but honest!
7. Will you be turning on anons?
Okay: right now, we've earned Anon Office Hours Wednesday 12:30pm thru Friday 6:30pm EST!
Most of this is due to the nature of what I'm discussing. Historically, these topics (and how race is relevant) upset some people, and it can get unsafe. Personally, I have no intention of allowing racists, or those who will take my advice in bad faith, to hide their faces. If you want to hate me, speak with your chest 😤👍🏾
The other part is that it is not a bad thing to ask questions! I did create this blog to be a learning opportunity. So long as you are kind to me and send me asks in good faith, I will be kind to you and reply in good faith. I'm also pretty sure I have the option to answer privately, so if you don't want your question posted publicly, You can say that.
If I get more questions, I'll update this!
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yooglefics · 5 months
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Reveal — Part two: editing
Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader ( camboy!yoongi x camgirl!reader )  Wordcount: 1,735 words Genre: 18+, mdni, remainder to not use fanfics as your only source of sex ed. Summary: Yoongi is just helping a friend help you, but is he even supposed to listen to this?. Part 2 of Reveal: recording. Read it for context. This is just why and how we got to that ending. More warnings under read more.
Includes: Mentions of selling sex content. People recording sex acts. Mentions of sexual activity ( doing things and also talking about doing things and thinking about doing more things ). Mentions of past and not past masturbation ( f and m ).  Dirty talk? I guess?. Sprinkle of possessive yoongi? Is not my fault i sweaaaar Author's note: Remember when I started writing something short and silly lmao, what a time. Btw, I have never used OF so if something I say about how they use the website is actually not true / completely wrong just pretend please lmao. Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to write Yoongi's side, hope you like it! If you do please remember to leave a comment, reblog, ask, follow and what not. Thank you for reading <3
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Saturday is probably Yoongi's favorite day of the week. No waking up early, no work, and not worrying about having to do any of those the next day.
That's why he groans when his phone rings with messages from Jungkook. He knows is him because he is the only one who still insists on sending him a million messages instead of just one. 
Love the guy, but he can be annoying.
The fifth ring comes and hopping is the last one, Yoongi finally reaches for his phone and rolls to his back. 
JK: hey JK: are you awake? JK: and free today? JK: i need a favor JK: yoongi?
Yoongi: with what? If I have to leave my house is probably a no.
Both of them know that actually, even if it ruined his plans of relaxing, he would say yes. Because that's what friends do.
JK: no no. You can do it at your house  JK: I need to edit an audio for my friend JK: but I'm on the schedule today JK: and if I don't send it back quickly she will back out JK: please? 
Yoongi: ok. Send it to me. Yoongi: you own me, tho.
Throwing his phone on the bed, he gets out of it to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, getting ready to sit in his studio for at least an hour. He knows is probably a bit extra to use his expensive equipment for whatever this favor is, but if he is going to help, he is going to do it right.
Opening Jungkook's messages on his laptop, Yoongi almost wants to laugh at himself.
JK: [ killmepls.mp3 ] JK: is and OF thing, btw JK: don't listen to it in public lol
Yep, definitely Poducer Min equipment is too extra for this. But, fuck it.
The archive is already downloaded when he opens the software, starting a new project and naming it the same as the audio plus final, to not get confused. Plugging in his headphones he starts playing it, already noticing whoever this is, is pretty quiet at the beginning and he would most likely have to cut it off, still, he listens to make sure.
A few taps followed by a “hi..” is the start, and he chuckles at their giggles.
He decides to let that in, but cuts the next few seconds where only their breathing can be heard along with some clicking and fabric moving. Is too long of a pause for this kind of thing and the clicking gives a way they weren't ready to start. Sure they wouldn't mind.
They put music on? It sounds familiar but is pretty fade out, so he can't really be sure, and then “This angle is kinda…” 
That's him.
That's his voice.
“Hot,” the voice continues before he can rewind.
“You can't tell me I'm mean anymore. I'm spoiling you,” his own voice travels again on his headphones. “I'm giving you this view and I'm giving you what's probably the thing you all ask the most: hands.”
What is this? Some kind of joke?
Did Jungkook put them up to this?
“I hate him. I'm gonna sue him,” 
That gets a laugh from him, even if he is still confused about what is happening.
Maybe it's just his imagination?
Should he ask his friend?
More movement of fabric. Maybe bed sheets or clothes. More breathing, a bit faster than last time and then, a groan. 
He can leave that in.
Wait, that's right. He is supposed to be editing this. He has to go back and…
“This angle is kinda…” his voice says and he hits pause. Is really him. Is that possible?
He feels like he is imagining things.
“Jungkook, I swear if this is some kind of joke or something,” he rambles taking his phone out.
Yoongi: did you listen to it?
JK: no, didn't have time JK: why? something wrong? JK: don't tell me it can't be used JK: she is gonna be sad :(
Yoongi: who is she?
JK: dunno if i can tell you 
Yoongi: technically I'm doing a favor for her. I think is fair 
JK: good point JK: is afterhours(y/n)
He opens a new tap on his laptop, goes to the website and searches for the username through his followers. And sure enough there it is. Subscribed a month ago.
He clicks to see your perfil. The first post he can see without being subscribed is a picture of a lilac lingerie set on a bed with the caption “very early birthday present”, from a week ago. 
He considers subscribing to see more, but he stops himself from clicking, remembering Jungkook didn't even want to tell him who you were. Oh, shit. What would you do if you knew it was him editing your audio? Would you back out? Or be sad?
Now it feels kind of wrong, like if he were invading your privacy.
He clicks around on his computer again, audio track back to the zero seconds mark. He hears the “hi” and the giggles and stops it before his voice appears. 
“Okay, this is going to be posted. It was recorded with the intention of being posted for people to hear,” he reasons. “If it's not posted I'd just forget about it and if it is… I'd… subscribe? To make up for listening?”
Clearly that part is not completely made up on his mind, but he doesn't have to decide what to do right now, he has to finish editing. And so, Yoongi clicks around the software again, cutting and deleting another section, the one where you can hear his voice and even his music before.
That's it. It was a familiar track because it is his. He composed that himself to put in the background of his videos exclusively. He figured putting his own touch would help if something was posted outside his page, never imagining hearing it in the background of someone else's video or audio was even possible.
It shouldn't affect him this much. After all, people touching themselves to his videos is half the reason he likes making them. What can he say? Is a turn on to have that effect on others, it builds his confidence up.
But actually hearing it is different. 
Groan and fabric moving, a bit too close to the mic he considers doing something about it, but “I want you to touch me,” is the perfect whisper. Just the right volume, just the right words.
No more audio of SugaD can be heard now, you probably turn down the volume of the video or pause it. Yoongi is curious about it. The idea of your sounds being a reaction to his past self is doing things to him, and Yoongi would like to ignore them before getting too distracted, but is kind of a boomer not knowing exactly what your reactions are for.
Maybe he can open his video, it wouldn't be hard for him to synchronized it with your audio and—
No.
That would cross the line. Is enough that he—
“Are you hard?” your voice continues, timidly he thinks. 
Is this your first time doing this? That's why you couldn't edit yourself?
What would you do if you knew he was listening and his dick was calling for attention at all your little sounds?
He stops your recording, considers taking a break, going back to bed. But he knows just forgetting about this would be hard and in the end he would have to come back and finish helping.
He unpaused it.
More moans echo throughout his headphones and he fixes them on top of his head, as if that would help him concentrate. You just sound so pretty, and when you plead he wants to give you anything you ask for, his dick twitching with desire.
He could just— no. That'll be wrong. Is enough he is letting it affect him this much, he can't just—
His leg bounces under his desk, hand glue to his mouse even when he is just listening now. Only stopping and going back a couple times to fix the volume of background noise, making it less or more obvious depending on the flow or your moans.
A groan of his own cuts the silence in his studio when you form words again. “It feels so good, oh god.” And Yoongi wishes he knew what. Wishes he could see you, could touch you. Could make you sound and feel that good in person.
“Uh uh,” short moans leave your lips, and it sounds so much like you're agreeing with his thoughts he really considers sneaking a hand down his pants. Allow his mind to wander and imagine what you would look like under him. Or on top. Or just coming undone by him.
But he doesn't. He just listens to your recording, your breathing, your pleas and your cut out warning when you cum.
“Fucking hell,” Yoongi angrily whispers. And for a second he considers doing the SugaD special of cutting it out of the final audio, but that's too selfish.
Or perhaps is more selfish leaving it. Considering he wants the world to hear how you sound when listening to him.
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Yoongi managed to leave the studio without touching himself. But is not really as impressive as it sounds since his hand is on his dick the minute he goes back to bed after listening to the final edit of your audio one last time. The excuse of being just to make sure is perfect is just that, an excuse. And your pretty sounds replay on his head while he jerks off until orgasm.
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JK: thank youuuu JK: she says thank you too!
Does that mean you know he was the one editing it?
He opens the app on his phone, looks for your perfil again and debates a couple minutes his options. 
What's the worst that can happen? You blocking him? He would understand, but if he actually doesn't do anything, doesn't play his chance, he wouldn't forgive himself.
And so, he subscribes. Page refreshes instantly and a new post greets him.
[ afterhours(y/n):
Surprise, surprise. Is my birthday month but I keep spoiling you, ain't I the best? 😝 
      [ VoiceReveal.mp3 ]
                                                                         ]
Doesn't even have to listen to it, his fingers move on their own, “the cutest”, he comments.
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♡ Tag list: @m00njinnie , @sexytholland , @seoullove96 , @thelilbutifulthings , @disneyprincessshuri ,
( is hereee! I appreciate u guys hehe <3 ) ( if anyone else wants to be tagged in the future, let me know )
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➪ Part one. | ➪ Part three. | ➪ Updates for this verse | ➪ Ko-fi
➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats ♡
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mdianasims · 2 months
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He has traveled around the worlds and collected many memories and keepsakes. He made many friends along the way while he did both mundane and epic heroic things. And in every town there was another lover (or two) to be left behind.
You all know we're talking about Icarus Ibarra, Iker for friends (and he has many - one cheerful introduction and you're BFFs). His recent adventures made him realise that it might be time to settle down. And that doesn't mean he won't be going from world to world anymore. He will, he'd just prefer to do it with that one special someone by his side. And what better way than to find that someone in style?
Watcher Studios Inc presents...
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SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN Deadline: 21 September 2024 More info under the cut.
We probably don't really need to introduce our bachelor, but here's a quick recap:
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Full name: Icarus Nicodemo Ibarra Reyes Age: 28 (young adult) Traits: Romantic, Music Lover, Bro, Active, High Metabolism Aspirations: Party Animal, Romantic Explorer Likes: Activities - Dancing, Fitness, Gardening Guitar, Handiness, Mixology, Photography, Snowboarding Colour - Blue, Green, Yellow Music - Alternative, Latin, Latin Pop, METAL, Singer Songwriter We're not sharing compatibility likes/dislikes or turn-on/turn-offs (TOTOs), because that would take the fun out of the challenge.
In case you're not entirely up to speed on Iker's previous adventures, you can find them here.
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Still interested? Good. If you want to apply, these are the essentials:
Read the rest of this post carefully. If you still want to enter your Sim after reading, then comment that you want to submit a sim.
I've made another post that further specifies some choices you have. I'm asking you to prepare this before submitting your Sim. That will make it easier for me to play it out when it comes up in my game. I know it looks like a lot, but all you need to do is make a Sim, dress them nicely and make a few choices. Then I'll do the hard work.
This is The Grand Scheme. Save the link, it'll be handy when you create your Sim. And even if you do not intend to submit a contestant, I don't mind sharing my nefarious plans ;)
There's a maximum of 12 participants (and a minimum of 7 or it'll mess up the schedule), first come, first served. One of these spots has been reserved for @zosa95. Because, if I hadn't submitted Iker's sister Neia to Branson's Bachelor Challenge, I would not have had Iker. It seemed only fair to do this in return.
Practical considerations:
No CC (minor exceptions: x and x)
I have all packs except Batuu. As for CAS Kits, I only have Simtimates and Moonlight Chic.
You will need Growing Together and Lovestruck for the personality likes and TOTOs. If you do not have these packs, you can still participate. You just need to let me know how you want to fill these and I can set them for you once your Sim is in my game.
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1. Requirements:
Age: Young adult (give a 'real life' age if you like, anything from 18 to 30 is acceptable).
Gender: Male or Female.
Pronouns: No custom pronouns that are intended to be silly (such as 'His Evil Highness' or 'Her Colourful Ladyship' or whatever you would use to refer to your favourite pet (or Sim)). This is basically to prevent me from making mistakes while posting. Too many different pronouns and it's gonna go wrong at some point. Please use something short (and easy to remember).
Sexual Orientation: Must be romantically attracted to and interested in woohoo with men (whatever else you check, is your choice).
Romantic Boundaries: Set them as you like, Iker's player trait should overrule it (if not, I'll set everything to no jealousy).
Occult: Human preferred. No Werewolves, Vampires or Aliens (Iker is still processing the Moonwood adventure, which also made him hate vampires. After StrangerVille, though unfounded, aliens are bit of a touchy subject too).
Traits: Bro and Unflirty are not allowed (there's a rule about bros, and unflirty will just make it incredibly hard for your Sim).
Likes/dislikes:
No more than 2 music likes (because those still dominate wants).
Decor and Fashion are optional (i.e.: Dream Home Decorator and High School Years are not required).
Conversation Topics and Sim Characteristics are required to be set.
TOTOs:
Way of Life and Characteristics are required to be set.
Romance styles: 2 turn ons and 1 turn off, the other 2 will be neutral (I'll do this for Iker too, for a more interesting experience).
Hair Colour: Black hair turn on is advised.
Outfit colour/Fashion categories are optional.
Your Sim can be CAS created or born in game, skills are allowed, there won't be skill based challenges. They can have additional self-discovery traits if you've played them. However: the romance skill and hidden woohoo skill are banned (Iker doesn't have those either, yet) and charisma is capped off at lvl 3.
Fame is not allowed - I'll just keep all Sims out of the spotlight.
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2. Outfits:
There will be lots of themed parties, outings and dates, so I've got an entire outfit scheme set up. To give you a chance to express your Sim's personality through their outfit choices (and get creative with NoCC CAS).
First, look up the outfits on The Grand Scheme. Then choose one of the following:
Easy Street: Set your Sim's standard oufit for each category, copy it to all listed slots. Then adjust the two mandatory second outfits.
The Middle Road: Do as above, adjust any other oufits you like.
All the Way: Set all oufits as requested.
Know that not all of these outfits will be used if your Sim is eliminated early on. But hey, at least you'll get a nice NoCC lookbook from it! Another thing to keep in mind (though entirely optional), the show (mostly) takes place in Ciudad Enamorada and Oasis Springs in Spring and Summer. So, big fluffy sweaters might look a bit out of place. If you accidentally use an item from a Kit that I do not have, I will try to replace it with something similar. If you do not set outfits for the themed activities, I will dress your Sim as I see fit.
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3. Dates:
For three of the dates, there's a choice to be made by the contestant. Look this up in The Grand Scheme and let me know through DM what your Sim would choose for their perfect date(s).
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4. One Final Question:
In case your Sim is eliminated, should they:
be returned to you (I'll save your Sim after elimination and upload the tray files and send you a private link);
live on in my save file;
be deleted;
remain in limbo forever (I'll store the tray files somewhere)?
Not answering this question defaults in the last option.
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I know this is a lot. I hope you are not deterred by it. I just want to do something interesting with the new date system. And then this massive plan formed and now I'm stuck with it.
Anyway you have at least until 21 September 2024 to submit your Sim. If you need more time, or I'm not ready with the preparations, that date may move to somewhere in September.
Let me know in the comments and/or through DM if you want to submit a Sim. I'll put your name on the list. If I've added your name to the list and you no longer can/want to submit a Sim, let me know. There might be someone else who can take your place.
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If you have any additional questions, do let me know. (if you think I've made any weird typos, let me know as well. I've checked the post a several times, but something might still have slipped).
Thanks for reading and I hope you're as excited about this as I am!
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