#this is quickly becoming her worst week to date lmao

[dol-dee]

He's lucky he caught her on an off day

based on this scene that I recently got ingame. I couldn't get Dee's reaction out of my head :D

[tobiosmilktea]

hiii can i request tsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo where they’re in a secret relationship and the reader feels like they’re hiding her bc they’re ashamed of her ? like a hurt too comfort type of thing? thank u bb 🥺🥺

- 🍒

secret relationships w/ atsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo

a/n: i have so many angst requests,, yall must like getting hurt 💀 also this wasn’t as angsty as i thought it was gonna be since im going through writers block yet again and i can not handle pain rn (also not proofread, so read with caution lmao)

— m. atsumu

it honestly surprised you at first, the way someone like miya atsumu returning your feelings the moment you told him you liked him near the start of the school year

there wasn’t that instant gratification though, knowing that one of inarizaki’s golden boys still felt out of your reach

despite being in a relationship with you, it wasn’t like anyone knew of it besides osamu and your closest friend

of course you didn’t really mind as you’ve always thought couples who were obnoxious with their relationships 24/7 and constantly making out in the hallways wasn’t your cup of tea either, so you get why atsumu wanted to keep it a secret

besides, with a guy so popular like him, you really just thought he was sparing you from the harassment (not that it would be bad if all the girls crushing on him new)

you get that he was just trying to protect you, and yet the more you thought of it, the more than it was simply just an assumption and you really didn’t know why your relationship was kept secret

it wasn’t like either of you would get backlash in any way, so what was the problem?

you weren’t exactly the type to be the most insecure either

sure, you were aware of the flaws you had, but it wasn’t something you were ashamed of as you learned to get used to it

yet it’s hard to fully love yourself when your boyfriend isn’t even comfortable with the fact that no one knows you two are even together

you hated jumping to conclusions, but you couldn’t help but to think the worst case scenario—was he ashamed of being with you?

you honestly thought the idea was impossible

if he was seriously ashamed of the thought of being with you in public, why would he even waste all those months dating? were all those dates and nights sneaking out to see each other for nothing?

it was like this for weeks with the way your own thoughts sabotaged you as you stood next to him during lunch

in moments like this in school, surrounded by your classmates and acquaintances, you and atsumu were only friends who sat next to each other occasionally and shared conversations that only friends would have

only friends

god, you hated the way that atsumu wouldn’t even look at you the way that he would when you two are alone

was he that embarrassed to be with you?

you didn’t want six months of all your hard work and effort of making time to be with him for nothing,, you had to do something about it

everyday, you, atsumu, and osamu would walk to school together with osamu typically walking ahead of you and your boyfriend

most couples would hold hands as they walked together, but atsumu had made it explicitly clear as the closer they get to school the farther they had to be from each other to avoid suspicions

thinking of it now, it sounded wrong to begin with and you had no idea why you even agreed to do such a thing

the school was close, maybe a block away and instead of slowing down your pace to create a gap between you and atsumu, you stubbornly stayed next to him to which he flickered you a weird look

he shrugged it off but the moment you two passed the gates and into campus, you slipped your hand into his

without missing a single beat atsumu immediately pulled his hand away from you with a look on his face that held all the questions running through his head at that very moment

“what are you doing?” he asks, almost in a harsh whisper

a frown melted upon your expression at how quickly he pulled away, almost as if he was disgusted by you. “i um, didn’t know you hated the thought of people seeing us together so badly.”

you didn’t know where all your strength went as it disappeared the moment you needed it the most

yet as you were about to walk away, atsumu tugs at your wrist lightly and pulls you into his embrace—his warmth and comforting scent of chamomile from  saved you from the embarrassment that was tainting your cheeks red

“no, no it’s not that,” he mutters, lips tickling your forehead. “i just wanted to keep you to myself a bit longer.”

— k. kenma

you honestly weren’t surprised at the fact that kenma wanted this relationship to be kept secret

he never seemed like the type to be in a relationship let alone get the attention of being in one in the first place, yet it irked you to the core

it was fine at first; acting like you two were just friends while at school or at volleyball practice and it wasn’t at all weird or out of the ordinary

maybe that’s why you were okay with it in the first few months of your relationship with kenma as you were always near him the majority of the time

yet you constantly had to fight the urge to not be so touchy with him from wanting to hold his hand to leaning your head onto his shoulder—you often had to stop yourself especially in front of your friends and his teammates

you were good at keep secrets, but it was absolute hell not being able to even tell kuroo considering you always hung out with him too (it was a given obviously but you digress)

kuroo is a bit curious in his closest friend’s antics so his constant teases of how you and kenma would be such a cute couple annoyed you to your core

he laughs as if you and kenma being together would be absolutely impossible and wouldn’t happen in a million years, and yet here you two were, pretending to laugh at his jokes and agreeing and it would be, in fact, impossible

as mentioned before, you’re more annoyed at keeping your relationship secret rather than angry

your actions were more abrupt and cold rather than your usual warm self and kenma definitely noticed

despite his usual calm and collected expression that he has on a daily basis, it covered up his own emotions of blatant insecurity and worry that you were losing your feelings and losing them quick

the last thing kenma wanted was for everything that happened between the two of you to be wasted over his own fear of being judged for being with you

you were his first in everything and he certainly wasn’t going to let you become his first heartbreak either

he worried about this for a few days, overthinking while he played video games with kuroo, lev, and yaku that they noticed how quiet he was being over the call

it was then did he impulsively asked kuroo to go on a separate voice channel with him just so he could blurt out, “i’m dating (y/n).”

and to his surprise, all his best friend said was: “yeah, i know. (y/n) told me.”

“what? why?” kenma asked with confusion evident on his visage

“she had no one else to go to vent.” kuroo answers, his amused laugh echoing through kenma’s headphones. “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone.”

“thanks, but... i think (y/n)’s angry at me and i don’t know what to do.”

“she told me that she was getting tired of keeping your relationship a secret. she asked me if you felt embarrassed or even ashamed of being with her.” he explained.

confusion and a bit of worry washed over kenma as his words suddenly faltered, “i could never be ashamed of being with her,”

“then i guess, you should tell her that.”

“what should i do?”

his best friend lets on a smirk (not that kenma could even see it, anyway), “i’m so glad you asked.”

you weren’t exactly sure what you expecting to be honest

you knew there was something going on between kenma and kuroo as if they were planning something intricate, but you weren’t bothered to even ask

perhaps you were still in that petty mindset of giving kenma the cold shoulder after having to keep your relationship on hold all the time that stopped your curiosity

sure, it was a bit childish, but you were planning on talking about it with kenma the moment he came back into the classroom after going off somewhere with kuroo

which by the way, where the hell were they? lunch was ending soon and you needed to talk to you boyfriend asap

the timing was almost perfect the way the thought of him entered your mind was at the same time as his familiar blonde hair walked back into the classroom with a melon bun and a canned drink in his hand from the vending machine—your favorites

“i noticed you didn’t eat lunch, so i bought you this.” he says, placing them down onto your desk.

“is this supposed to be your way of apologizing to me or something?” you mused at him.

there was a faint smile on kenma’s face when you did. this was your usual self, one that constantly smiled at him rather than deadpanned and cold. “no,” he simple put it. taking in a breath of confidence before pressing his lips on the corner of yours. “but i was hoping that would.”

with wide eyes, your eyes scanned the room to see if anyone noticed, afraid at the fact that you broke the first rule. despite being a blushing mess from a minuscule peck on your cheek, there was an inkling of confusion still evident within you, “why did you do that?”

“kuroo told me everything.”

“i knew that guy couldn’t keep a secret,” you mutter as you tried to ignore that infamous feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. “i don’t think people saw, so they won’t think we’re together—”

“what if i wanted people to know we’re together?” ded asf

— o. tooru

you honestly should’ve known oikawa was going to keep this relationship between the two of you a secret since the moment he confessed his feelings to you

what else could you have expected from aoba johsai’s most popular boy wonder with an actual fanclub full of naive girls

perhaps you’ve become naive yourself considering you dealt with months of having your relationship constantly being swept under the rug, psyching yourself out that he was doing this for your sake

and you understood that

it was the reason why you even agreed to keep your relationship on the downlow considering how annoyingly notorious oikawa’s fangirls were, they wouldn’t have let you see the light of day if they were to find out

if you were in fact being honest, there was a period in time near the beginning of the relationship how cautious you were being—barely talking to oikawa unless it had to do with school, avoiding his gazes during class, and even swallowing your pride by just watching his fangirls flirt with him and there was nothing you could do about it

you honestly had to give yourself a pat on the bat for dealing with six months of this treatment

you figured it wouldn’t be that bad, especially after schools where you and oikawa could finally have alone time to yourselves, but even those times alone with him there was a lingering feeling of tension and unease

the thought of someone from school even finding out of you two being  together even affected your relationship outside of school hours

you were tired of waiting outside the school gates for hours just for him to come out of volleyball practice and apologize that he couldn’t walk you home yet again

you figured that oikawa had grown far to used to seeing you waiting for him all the time that it was practically common sense that he was going to reject you again and again

you had to stop waiting for him at some point, but there was an inkling inside that for once, just for once, he would look at you with a smile so sweet that he would finally go with you

but not once has it happened

was he really that afraid of people finding out of his relationship with you that he’s willing to disregard all your hard work to even make this thing (whatever is was) to even happen?

if you were truly being honest with yourself, the only reason why this relationship is still up and active for this long is all because of you

you’re the one always asking him when he’s available during the weekends so you two could finally see each other, you’re the one always texting him first, you’re the one always being the most understanding of the situation

and yet it’s almost like oikawa isn’t even batting an eye at how difficult it has been for you

you absolutely hated jumping to conclusions and thinking of the worst case scenario and yet here you were, suddenly drowning at the possibility that the only reason why oikawa wanted a secret relationship was because he was ashamed to be with you

it was a thought that kept you up at night, tainting your optimistic thoughts of hope that this relationship would actually work out to decimate into thin air

the more is simmered in your head, the worse it became—what if his feelings that he confessed to you was a lie?

you hated overthinking

but if you really thought about it, even before you and oikawa dated, neither of you two were close. just two acquaintances in the same class that occasionally shared answers with each other just by the convenience of sitting nearby

you even went as far as believing that him dating you was just a joke, that this whole goddamn relationship was just some mindless prank just because he was bored

six months of wasted time. you were over it

the next day at school, you didn’t even look at him, you didn’t smile or even acknowledge the way he said good morning to you (as a friend does)

you figured he’s probably too dense to even notice, but he did. the usual glow you had each morning when you said good morning back to him was gone

he already missed the way your gazes would meet and how he would constantly find himself lost in your irises, but now you couldn’t even look at him in the eye

the only person who’s aware that you and oikawa were dating was iwaizumi. it was a given as who else would oikawa ramble on and on and on about how pretty you looked or how smart you are if it wasn’t his best friend?

if anything, iwa was the only guy oikawa could complain about how you were ignoring him

“maybe she’s bored of you for once,” iwaizumi cuts straight to the point. there was really no point in beating around the bush

offense was written all over oikawa’s face, utterly surprised, “how could she?”

“you can’t keep your relationship with her a secret forever, you know.” his best friend goes on to explain, “with the way things are going with you two acting like you’re nothing but acquaintances, (y/n)’s bound to lose her feelings.”

“but i don’t want her to lose feelings for me! and it’s not like i can suddenly tell all my fangirls that i’m dating someone, they’ll freak!” whines oikawa.

“why do you care about your fangirls’ feelings more than your own girlfriend? seems to me, it doesn’t even look like you care about (y/n) at all the way she’s constantly waiting for you after practice only to be rejected.”

it’s obvious iwaizumi wasn’t here to sugarcoat

“i just don’t want them to harass (y/n)...” oikawa reasons, trying to ignore the way his heart drop at iwa’s words like a gripping poison

“then that’s your job to tell those girls to back off.” he suggests, “they literally treat you like a god, surely they’ll listen if you tell them to leave her alone.”

the following day, you came across oikawa waiting outside your door, dressed in his uniform with his gaze lingering about to occupying his attention

“what are you doing here?” you ask him as you close your front door behind you. he’s probably here to break up with you, you thought to yourself

you had to force yourself to ignore the way your heart dropped at your own self-destructive thoughts

taking a deep breath as you approached him, you readied yourself for harsh news to come your way

but it never did

instead, you were greeted by oikawa’s infamous smile that made everyone at school to fall in love with this guy (including you)

he takes your hand into his, intertwining his calloused fingers that dwarfed yours in size. you don’t remember the last time you held oikawa’s hand, but it felt so familiar and warm

it was like home

you couldn’t help but feeling the ends of your lips tugging into a smile as you looked up at him, “what if someone at school sees us?”

you were expecting some kind of excuse, but all he did was shrug. “who cares?”

— k. tetsurou

when you and kuroo started going out, you certainly wasn’t expecting it to be like this

if anything, ‘going out’ would be a stretch if you count late night dates and sneaking out at midnight just to see each other as dating

it certainly wasn’t your usual definition of dating either as you yearned greatly to be able to do normal couple things with your boyfriend—like actually going out on dates during the day, eating lunch together, hell, even just holding hands!

it almost seemed laughable how normal things done in relationships were something you never even experienced with kuroo even after a few months of being together all due to him wanting to keep the relationship a secret

and if you were truly being honest with yourself, you never really understood why he wanted to keep it on the downlow in the first place

you never really questioned it as you just that much of an understanding person, but at a certain point it just wasn’t adding up

it wasn’t like he had girls going after him 24/7 despite being at the top of his class, popular, and nekoma’s volleyball captain

it wasn’t like oikawa who had an actual problem with hoards of girls surrounding him and tracking his ever move, so what was the big deal of letting your relationship public?

it was then did it hit you

the suddenly downpour of insecurity within your own loving boyfriend that you trust so much was getting the best of you

“what if he’s embarrassed to even be with me?” you contemplated in a harsh whisper to your best friend

it was in the middle of lunch and you two were sitting alone on a bench in the school’s courtyard chatting while eating—well, more like overthinking in your case while you friend just sat there and nodded

“if he actually felt that way, then he would’ve broken up with you already.” your friend stated in between bites, “besides, if i didn’t have feelings for someone, i wouldn’t put in the effort to sneak out just to see them.”

you hummed, not sure what to say as she did have a point

but could you really blame yourself for wanting an actual relationship rather than one that’s forced to go unnoticed?

“i should talk to kuroo about it...” you sigh out.

“talk to me about what?” an oh-so-familiar voice calls out to you and your friend

kuroo’s figure approaches the two of you as he give you a curt smile with hidden meanings that you weren’t able to even notice. you were too caught up in your own meddling thoughts that you also didn’t notice the way kuroo frowned slightly at the way you avoided eye contact with him

“nothing,” was all you said before standing up and throwing your trash away. “lunch is almost over so we should all get to class.” was all you said before briskly walking away

kuroo’s brows furrow in confusion as he looks over to your friend, “what’s up with (y/n)?”

“she thinks you’re too embarrassed to be with her, that’s why you hide your relationship.” she cuts straight to the point (homegirl just wants to eat her lunch in peace ffs)

“what?” your boyfriend huffs out in shock, almost offended at the fact that you out of all people would believe such a thing. “why does she think that?”

your friends shrugs, “not sure. that’s something you should be asking her, but if it were me, i would want a normal relationship as well.”

kuroo doesn’t say another word before walking away. and yet his walk quickened so he could catch up to you before you could get to class, footsteps echoing through the hallway in patters as he sees your familiar figure near your classroom 

“(y/n)!” he calls out to you as you slide the classroom’s door open. it was sure to catch the attention of the rest of the students already in the classroom as you turn towards him, brows furrowed in the same confusion

as he neared you, there was almost no sign in him stopping, sending your heart beating in a frenzy as you parted your lips to tell him to slow down

but before a single syllable could even fall from your lips, your boyfriend’s own pair press against yours harshly. it was sweet like caramel and you swore everything moved in a slow motion when you suddenly realized where you two were

he stole your breath away when he pulled apart from you, eyes immediately scanning the room of his own classmates staring at him in awe

“since when were you two dating?” matsukawa asked rather loudly, it seemed that others were interested in knowing as well.

panic suddenly coursed through you as you gave kuroo a look, gravely ignoring the way yoru heart was thumping against your chest and the dozens of unanswered questions running through your head

“w-we’re not actually dati—”

“we’ve been together for a few months actually.” kuroo cuts you off, sending you a wink before entering the classroom

[lettersfromjuliet]

i am ash from your fire | riff lorton

summary: catalina torres, anita palacio’s cousin, arrives in new york city for bernardo’s funeral. meeting riff lorton is, admittedly, the worst part of it.

warnings: canon/time period typical racism, cursing, mentions of death & violence (stabbing)

2.8k

a/n: hi y’all! this is the result of falling headfirst into a mike faist rabbit hole lmao. this is first installment of my enemies with benefits to fwbs to lovers riff series, and i’m beyond pumped to get into the characters and the storyline. everything is basically the same as west side story (2021) except riff survives, so this story takes place after the events of the film. i hope you love catalina as much as i do, as well as her and riff’s story, and i’m super excited for this! enjoy!

They buried Tony and Bernardo on the same day. The cemeteries were side by side, close enough to hear the faint strainings of each service.

Anita never stopped crying.

In all her days, Catalina Torres had never seen her cousin so distraught. Her last memory of Anita had been her smiling face, waving a handkerchief as she rode off with Bernardo and Maria, beaming with the light of a thousand suns. The tears that marked her face now fell viciously, carving her pain in clear tracks down her face. This Anita had American scars, and Catalina did not know quite what to make of them yet.

“Maria should be here,” Anita hiccuped, black handkerchief quivering between them.

“I know,” Catalina whispered back, squeezing her hands as hard as she could, “I know.”

Catalina had not imagined her first day in America to be one of such sorrow. Still, she was not naive enough to believe she would have left it in Puerto Rico. Sorrow follows you, stacking stones along your back until you either cast them off and kick to the surface or drown under their weight. One look at Anita told Catalina she was drowning. As she always would, Catalina threw her a life vest.

She took Anita’s face into her hands gently and murmured, “Escúchame bien — Maria volverás soon, okay? She wouldn’t miss her brother's funeral.”

And she didn’t. Maria’s arrival wasn’t heralded by any pomp or circumstance, simply a black veil covering her face and her stumbling headfirst into Anita’s arms. They held each other and cried as Catalina looked on, wondering how all of this could have happened so quickly. The last time she had seen Bernardo, he was holding onto Anita, staring at her like she was the so-called land of dreams they were soon to discover together. Catalina remembered promising Anita and Maria that he would take them to America with him as soon as he figured out a way. Anita went to bat for Catalina, convincing him that she, as her cousin (and truthfully, more of a sister), should come as well. Though it took some time, he eventually agreed. The three of them were to go over first, and when they were settled and prepared, send for Catalina. They set a date – and when her feet touched American soil for the first time, she wondered why Bernardo and Maria were not there to greet her. She thought of Chino, who would have stood in, but she was overjoyed to see Anita nonetheless, even if she was alone. She’d held the woman tighter than she ever had in her entire life, assuming the sobs wracking her body were like hers, a result of this joyous reunion. It wasn’t until they had gone to Anita’s apartment that Catalina learned of Bernardo’s fate and Maria’s sudden disappearance.

Three weeks had passed since Catalina’s arrival, and in them, she had become a full fledged member of the Sharks. With Chino in jail and the Jets leaderless as well, the only thing keeping the two gangs from an all out war was the promise of similar fates to their leaders, or to join their comrades on both sides locked away in a dingy space behind cold iron bars. New York City was ripe for the taking, yet no one had come to claim it. It was as though they were all tiptoeing around a powder keg, waiting for someone to light a match before they scrambled to steer clear of the blast.

“I have to — I have to go see him,” Maria blubbered, looking past Anita to the gates of the other cemetery some yards over. Anita said nothing, stone faced. Naturally, Catalina spoke up.

“You shouldn’t go alone.”

She took Maria’s hand and offered her half a smile, accompanied by a light squeeze. She’d always thought of Maria as a younger sister, the determined little girl chasing after her and Anita. They would find her running up under their feet, and the three of them became inseparable, spending their time daydreaming of what their lives would be once they left the island. The woman standing before her now wasn’t one Catalina entirely recognized. She had never seen her grief hardened shoulders, the dulled glint in her eyes, as though she were a ghost surrounded by the living.

“You two, take Camilo with you,” Anita said, too overwhelmed with emotion to fight the simple request. Maria’s mouth opened to protest until Catalina murmured, “Trust me,” to her under her breath. To Anita, she nodded, allowing Camilo to walk them away from Bernardo’s grave when he appeared. The path was muddy, but her mind was far from how difficult it would be to clean the pile of shoes that would undoubtedly appear in the apartment later. Instead, she focused on Maria, in her simple black lace trimmed dress, hiccuping every other second. She’d heard the story of the rumble recounted from Anita, who was told by Chino. Bernardo had fought valiantly, his quick feet and rapid movements aided by his boxing career. He stabbed the leader of the Jets, Riff Lorton, and the young man had collapsed to the ground. Tony, Maria’s beloved, was overcome by a murderous rage. He killed Bernardo, the sister of the woman he loved, in cold blood. Then he’d run off like the coward he had been, disappearing into the night until he had been about to reunite with Maria and Chino shot him. What Anita had told her, what Chino did not know, was the lie she had told in her own anger and rage, as well as what the Jets had done to her. When Catalina first heard the tale recounted, she had almost been sick. But the more she thought of it, that sickness turned to devastation. And from that devastation rose rage that burned with all the heat of her homes, new and old, combined.

The group’s pause at the gates of the other cemetery forced Catalina from her head. It was nearly identical to the one they had just come from, only there was no carved inscription in Spanish underneath the angel. Chino had done it on his first day here, when one of the Sharks had fallen at the hands of a Jet. In her time in America, she’d begun to understand the dynamics of the two groups. Catalina had gotten a job with Anita, mending other women’s clothes. Maria’s position at the bridal shop and a position at Doc’s had both opened up, but Catalina felt comfort in the familiarity of the routine. She had mended her own clothes and others back in Puerto Rico, and it was rather easy to return to tailoring in this slightly altered context. She had worked on the dress she wore now, a long sleeved knee length black number with red lace hidden underneath the layers of black fabric. She was a Shark now, and this small act of rebellion and remembrance was the least she could do to honor Bernardo’s memory.

Catalina took a quick look past the gates and exhaled in relief upon seeing a general lack of presence around what she assumed was Tony’s grave. Both ceremonies had long ended, leaving only a smattering of mourners in each space. Maria’s body trembled as she stepped forward. Camilo laid a hand on her arm and her eyes flashed, her lips set into a tight twist.

“Camilo,” Catalina said quietly, stepping in between the two, “I forgot my handkerchief. It’s with Anita — can you please go get it? Maria’s is ruined.”

As if cued, Maria held out her soaked square of fabric. Camilo stared at them both for five seconds before he swallowed, nodding twice before darting off.

“Thank you,” Maria whispered, and Catalina nodded, albeit a bit stiffly. It went unsaid (though not misunderstood) that she’d offered her assistance for Maria’s sake and not out of any semblance of respect for Bernardo’s killer. The girl wasted no time, practically sprinting over to the grave. Catalina followed leisurely behind, acting as a lookout. Rather than standing close to Maria, she settled in the shadow of a mausoleum a yard or so away. She had no sympathy for the dead man in the dirt, but her respect for the dead dictated she not observe Maria’s mourning.

The stream of curses from flooding her mouth cared not for her morals.

“That gringo hijo de puta.”

Catalina spat into the dirt, taking out the cigarette she had stashed in her dress and lighting it with Bernardo’s lighter and a prayer for her minor blasphemy.

“Death is too good for him. And to have your sister weep at the sight of his body in the ground – ojala se lo coman los gusanos. And I know – I know – Maria loved him – loves him – pero… a mi no, y a mi nunca. He doesn’t deserve her love, or anyone’s. He’s nothing but a cold blooded murderous bastardo – jodele! Dios, Nardo, if you were here to see this— ”

“Take that back.”

The unfamiliarity of the voice is what paused her. Not the fact that it slurred half the syllables spoken and was dark as the dirt underneath her shoes, weighed down by an emotion far more powerful than grief alone. She noted the fact that it was strange and foreign to her, American, and that was what made it potentially dangerous. She had turned away from Maria’s direction to give her privacy, but she found that the voice’s demand came from that direction, so Catalina pivoted slowly, taking a drag from the cigarette. She blew it out, and when the smoke cleared, found herself looking into eyes colored the brightest blue she had ever seen. They were extremely bloodshot, which, curiously enough, only heightened their coloration. It was as though all the sorrow in the world had swirled into those eyes, every tear, choked sob, murmured gasp. In them she saw a pain she was all too familiar with – the loss of a brother. A skinny frame came into view as her eyes flicked over the new figure, accompanied by light brown hair sticking up in all directions which was slightly offset by their pale skin.

“I don’t know what the hell you just said, but take it back.”

His voice was low, a bit more controlled but still teetering on the edge of calamity. The wrong breath could have knocked him over, she thought. What refused to brush past her was the strength of his New York accent. He spoke with a certainty she’d found clung to native New Yorkers like blood to white fabric; that no matter who or what came their way, they would claw over anyone and anything to get to the top. Or perhaps that was merely the Jets she’d encountered thus far.

Catalina raised her eyebrows up ever so slightly, inhaling another drag and exhaling it calmly.

“What, are you going to make me? You can barely stand there without falling on your ass.”

The man took a step forward, swaying a little bit. She spotted a paper bag with a bottle neck peeking out of one hand, his own cigarette in the other.

“Tony was better than all of us. Better than me, better than you, better than that walking death certificate crying over his grave right now— ”

“Her name is Maria,” Catalina hissed fiercely, her eyes flashing in warning. No matter her thoughts on Tony, Maria was family. There would be no slander of her or another Shark’s name in her presence. Ever. “And your precious Tony killed Bernardo, so Chino killed him. A life for a life.”

“Bullshit,” he spat, “He didn’t have to die. He should be here right now. Not her.” He took a swig from the bag, a cold gleam entering his eyes. “That broad’s the one that got him killed. His death is on her hands. What the hell is she even doin’ here?”

The words burst from Catalina’s lips before she could stop them. Not that she particularly wanted to. After holding back for so long, she was overdue for an explosion.

“He got himself killed! All Maria did was love him. His fate is his own.”

The man opened his mouth to speak, glaring at her with daggers of fury, a spark away from a rampage, but the floodgates had opened. The water rushed forth, unforgiving.

“Bernardo should be here right now,” Catalina growled, fisting part of her skirt in her hand and stepping up to the man, “And he isn’t. Maria deserves to be here. That gringo does not deserve her tears, or any defense. He deserves to be in the ground.”

They were only three feet from each other, each sixty seconds away from going nuclear. Red had started to bleed into Catalina’s vision, painting the man before her in the scarlet tones of her temper. How dare he speak upon Maria, or Bernardo, or any of them. What could he have possibly known?

“Riff!” a new voice yelled, and another person ran up, short dark black hair and a rock in their step. From behind her, Camilo reappeared at her side silently.

“We got a problem here?” the Jet asked with an icy snear, “What are you PRs doing on our turf anyway?”

“It could be our turf any day now, gringo,” Camilo returned, equally chilled.

Both of them set their hands at their sides, each casting a look to Riff and Catalina.

Maria, still weeping at the foot of Tony’s grave, looked up.

“A friend came to pay her respects,” Catalina said, forcing an evenness into her tone as the red receded. “Now we’re leaving.”

She took Camilo’s arm and subtly tugged him with her, walking past Riff and his Jet.

“Don’t come back,” Riff called, and Catalina’s head whipped over her shoulder at him.

“Vete a la mierda,” she hissed, “And take your pathetic excuse for a gang with you.”

She missed the murmured retaliation in maintaining the confidence in her steps.

“Maria, vamo cariña,” Catalina murmured, gently lifting her friend from the dirt and holding her upright. They returned to the apartment and Anita and Catalina climbed in with Maria, enveloping her between them. The young girl fell asleep first, then her cousin, leaving Catalina alone with her mind and the moonlight shining down through the fire escape. She replayed the events of the day, concentrating until the words, “Cool it, Anybodys, I got a plan,” appeared. In the moment, she hadn’t thought much of him, or his name. But with nothing else to consider, a ferocious scowl painted her face as the pieces clicked together. Riff Lorton, the leader of the Jets, was alive, and already scheming their next movements.

Catalina’s eyes drifted downwards to the two women slumbering beside her. They both looked so young in their sleep, unburdened by the trials and tribulations they had gone through to get here, by the losses they’d endured, the triumphs that had slipped through their fingers. And in that moment, Catalina made a vow. She would not rest until her family was safe, until the Jets were properly dealt with and the Sharks were up on top. She would do whatever it took to secure them all, make the American dreams they’d long been chasing a reality. And no one, especially not a mess of a man somehow recalled to life, would stand in her way.

Catalina fell asleep calmly. In the morning, she could plot and plan. But tonight, she would be with the two people that meant the most to her in the world and pretend that everything would be all right.

—

The next morning, Maria was gone. All that remained of her presence was a note and the promise of living in her heart forever, and maybe the occasional visit or two if she believed she could handle it. New York City was no longer her home, and she could not bear to remain without Tony. Catalina saw the look in her cousin’s eyes change, witnessed the exact moment when the old Anita died. She rose from the kitchen table differently, as though the strings that had been pulling her through her life for the last few weeks had been cut and she was now fully in control of her body.

“Chino is in jail,” Anita said slowly, “Maria left. Bernardo is –” Her hands shook for two seconds before she flexed her fingers and regained control. She continued with an unwavering voice. “Bernardo is dead. The Jets are biding their time, waiting for the opportunity to move. They’ve taken everything from us. They cannot have this, too.”

The steel in her tone drew a spark of pride into Catalina’s eyes.

Anita pushed her shoulders back, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes and exhaling.

“The Sharks need a leader. And because Bernardo and Chino aren’t here, that falls to me. I think I can make them listen, I think I can do this, but not alone. I need you. I need you, Cati.”

She was silent for a moment, letting the weight of Anita’s words truly settle into the space between them. And when she was ready, she spoke.

“I just have one question,” Catalina said, the barest hint of a smirk beginning to cross her face, “When do we start?”

[shuahoonie]

out of love [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 

SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them. 

WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point 

(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)  

WORD COUNT: 5.6k 

A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance. 

this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)

gif credits: @thollandgifs​ 

vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium ​​

“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island. 

“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“

“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!” 

“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box. 

“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you. 

“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.” 

“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing. 

“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.” 

“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.  

“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.” 

“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you. 

Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend. 

You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long. 

Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you. 

That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.

Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.

Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone. 

You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear. 

You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see. 

“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.” 

Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.” 

Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early? 

You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.” 

The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.” 

Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom. 

You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.” 

Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”

You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door. 

When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe. 

“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper. 

You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him. 

“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye. 

At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty. 

You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?” 

“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia. 

“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out. 

You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar. 

You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.

Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again. 

Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people. 

Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help. 

Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box. 

Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie. 

On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.

Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay. 

You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern. 

You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.

Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you. 

However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.

Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.

Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.

It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine. 

It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.

“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”

His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings. 

“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives. 

It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake. 

“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.” 

“All night?”

Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly. 

You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary. 

“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up. 

“I should get going—“ 

“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.

Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started. 

Tom should say yes, right? 

“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.” 

“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his. 

“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.” 

“French?” 

You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.” 

“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.  

You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy. 

“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned. 

“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive. 

“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.” 

Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus. 

Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you. 

“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”

“Hm—and what’s that, then?” 

“Je ne suis pas l’escargot” 

“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“ 

“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Tom laughed, “I supposed so.” 

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.

See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it. 

“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs. 

You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal. 

“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows. 

All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.

“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine. 

“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting. 

You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop. 

Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway. 

Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along. 

Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines. 

A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left. 

So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend. 

“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?” 

Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.

You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”

Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other. 

“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm. 

“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.” 

“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.” 

“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom. 

“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.” 

“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question. 

Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom. 

“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.

“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic. 

“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.

“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market. 

For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.” 

You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that. 

Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with. 

“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.

“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice. 

“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you. 

“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth. 

“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation. 

“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more. 

“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down. 

“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face. 

It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.

Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off. 

You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone. 

“Hey, Tom?” 

“Yes, my sweet girl?” 

“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.

“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.

“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”

“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly. 

“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?” 

“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time. 

Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that. 

Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge. 

Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.

“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help. 

“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.” 

“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.” 

“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.” 

You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.” 

All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought. 

Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night. 

“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other. 

“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV. 

You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.  

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either. 

“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.” 

“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern. 

“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it. 

It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.  

You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply. 

You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it. 

You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then. 

So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper. 

At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even. 

But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next. 

It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on. 

You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall. 

At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon. 

“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that. 

“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.” 

It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t. 

“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again. 

“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again. 

You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.

You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.

You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too

You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot. 

You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.

You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him. 

“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.” 

He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you. 

“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.

“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go. 

“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch. 

“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“ 

“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.” 

“You know I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you too, Tom.” 

“But—“ 

“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves. 

“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision. 

Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness? 

“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you. 

“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”

“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.” 

That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again. 

PERMANENT TAGLIST: 

@quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11 @tomshufflepuff @spider-babe @goodgirlgonetom @tabi-toast​ 

[jadedxrealityw]

-Potter’s Sister- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

♡~🐍~♡

   Request:  Helloooo, I've got a super cliché request but if you're up to do it , great! So I like the idea of Draco secretly dating Harry's younger sister and Harry finding out about this in the worst way possible lol like them in a really compromising situation and he instantly becoming an overprotective jealous brother. That's it! Hope you like it. Have a great day💕

  Kody- lmao i’m going to have a blast with this one. Also, Tumblr wont let me reply at the moment so i’ll make due doing request like this

  Warning: Harry being Harry, Cursing, Draco being a possessive child.

  House: Gryffindor

  ♡~🐍~♡

  “Ron slow down, your going to choke!” Hermione shouts. The ginger rolled his eyes and continued eating. You laugh softly and go to pick up your fork when you spot a certain platinum blond Slytherin get up from his table and walk straight out the great hall.

   you place your fork down and look at the three “I have to use the bathroom” you say and Harry instantly looks up from his plate. “Oh okay, are you feeling alright?” he questions, a worried glance on his face. You nod, smiling slightly and stand up.

    “Perfectly fine. Just need to use the bathroom” you reply, tugging on a stand of your hair. You walk away from the table and out the great hall. Harry watches you for a moment before facing his friends “Your right Hermione. She was lying to me”

   “How can you tell?” Ron asked, wiping his mouth off with his sleeve. The chosen boy frowns slightly “She tugs on her hair when she does.” he explains and Ron nods slowly, understanding. They sit quietly for a couple seconds before Hermione hits the table, catching there attention. 

   “Well!? Go follow her!” she instructs, waving towards the great hall exit. Harry nods quickly and stands up in a rush “R-Right!” he stammers out and quickly leaves.

    ♡~🐍~♡

   a tap of your footsteps was the only thing you could hear in the empty hallway. You kept glancing around making sure you didn’t see anybody you knew. You had to be sneaky when meeting up with your secret boyfriend. Months of secrecy was not getting ruined because you were excited.

   ah yes. You. Y/n Potter, were dating your brothers enemy. Draco Malfoy. It started months ago when Neville Longbottom had told you that your idiot of a brother started a fight with Draco in the courtyard and he turned it physical. You told Neville to lead you to the fight and he agreed.

   running with your fellow Gryffindor, you begin to hear shouting. Students cheering the words ‘Malfoy’ ‘Potter’ and ‘fight’. Bloody hell. You walk into the courtyard and saw a group of people huddled around and rush towards them, pushing past multiple students.

   in the middle, you clearly see Harry on top of Draco, hitting him in the face. You stand there in horror for a couple seconds, before rushing over. You grab your brother and yank him off the Slytherin boy. “What the hell is wrong with you Harry!?” you shout. He looks at you with pure shame in his eyes.

   you look down at Draco and hold out your hand. He looks at you for a moment, almost like he was evaluating you “I’m not going to hit you if that’s what you think, Malfoy” you said and Draco grins slightly before grabbing your hand, using it to pull himself up.

   you look up at him. He had a busted lip and a bruised eye. Damn, HArry really did a number on him. You let go of his hand and reach into your pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. Reaching up to his face, he leans back “What the hell are you doing?” he questions a bit harshly.

   “You have blood on your face” You explain, but he still seems hesitant. You sigh and hold out the piece of cloth for him “Then you do it” Draco shakes his head slowly and shrugs “I can’t even see it, so you can do it” You just give him a nod and reach up, wiping the blood of his lip.

   a small contact sended sparks through the both of you and after that. Draco would always find a way to see you. Making small excuses and just study your everyday habits. You being the nice person you were, you gave him the time of day and you genuinely liked talking to him.

   feelings developed over time, but once hArry found out about your guys friendship. He forced you to end it, but when you told Draco about it. He said to meet him at the astronomy tower one last time and that’s where he confessed to you and you two had been together ever since.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   as you near the last few steps, you rush up quickly to see your Slytherin boyfriend leaning against the railing. His face lighting up as he sees you “I knew you would come” he speaks first and you smile, walking over to him. “I haven’t seen you in a week. I missed you” 

   he smiles at your words and wraps his arms around your waist “Aw you missed me. How sweet” he teases. You roll your eyes and look up at the taller boy “Such a narcissist” you tease back and he pouts. “But you love me still, right?”

   you smile warmly at Draco and nod “Yes i still love you” your words seem to be exactly what he wanted to hear because he leaned his head down towards you “There is one thing i missed most about you” he whispers and you can’t help but grin “and that is?” you questioned. Already knowing the answer.

   he smirks against the skin of your ear “The feel of your mouth of mine of course, love” your body shudders as the Slytherin backed you up into the wall. He smirks at your shocked expression before smashing his lips onto yours. Responding instantly, you kiss back.

   you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, tugging on the hairs on the back of his neck. A groan left your boyfriend as he pulled you closer to him. “Get the hell of my sister, Malfoy!” Draco was yanked off of you and thrown back, leaving you frozen in shock.

   Draco stands up quickly and scowls at your brother “Ever heard of privacy, Potter!?” he spat and Harry scoffed “You were snogging my sister, so no offense but fuck your privacy! How dare you take advantage of her!?” 

   “Take advantage of her?! You need to get your fucking eyes checked because she was kissing me back dumbass!” Draco retorts, crossing his arms. Harry’s head snapped to you and gave you a questioning look “Is it true?” you nod slowly “He’s my boyfriend Harry. Has been for months”

   Harry looked away from you and shook his head “He’s the enemy Y/n!” he shouts and you roll your eyes “He’s your enemy Harry! Your problem. Draco has been nothing. but nice to me!” Harry didn’t seem to believe your answer and grabbed your arm.

   “We’re leaving and you two are never going to see each other again!” Harry tries to drag you out, but you fight back “Ow! Harry you’re hurting me!” You shout and Draco takes immediate action. Grabbing your body and tugging you away from your brother.

   he holds you close to him and looks at your arm, checking the damage “That’s going to leave a nasty bruise, love” Draco whispers sadly and you frown. Draco snapped his head towards the Gryffindor with a deadly glare. If looks could kill, Draco would never need the killing curse.

    “Look what you fucking did! Get over yourself, Potter! I may not like you in the slightest, but i love Y/n. So for her sake, shove off!” Draco didn’t let the boy get a word in before he lead you out of the astronomy tower.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   it had been days since you spoke to your brother. You were so pissed at him and had avoided him at every turn. After the incident in the astronomy tower Draco made your relationship public and most people seemed okay with it. Except for a few choice people.

   “I can’t believe she’s sitting with him” Ron comments, looking over at the sight of you at the Slytherin table chatting it up with Draco. “How could someone as sweet as her love such a monster” he adds. Harry nods agreement.

   “oh my merlin. Both of you shut up. You don’t choose who you fall in love with. It happens and Harry you have clearly upset and injured your sister and need to apologize for being such a insufferable jerk! ” Hermione shouts, earning a few side glances from other stdents.

   Harry nods quickly and stands up “y-yes ma’am!” he stutters and walks off. Ron watches with a horrified look before turning to Hermione “you really are quite scary” all Hermione does is smile sweetly.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Draco has been leaning into your ear and whispering very inappropriate things in your ear all lunch and squeezing your thigh “You are such a perv Draco Malfoy” you mumble, meeting his gaze and he smirks widely “Only for you” he mutters back and leans in to kiss your lips.

   “Ew” a voice says behind you two. You pull away and your E/c eyes are meant with your Harry. You sigh deeply at the sight “Wow thanks Harry” you say sarcastically. “Here to assault her again, Potter?” Draco scoffs, making his friends laugh.

   Harry shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck “I may not understand how you could ever like him, but after watching from the sidelines for a few days i know he makes you happy and i’m so fucking sorry for hurting your arm. I wasn’t thinking straight and i hope you can forgive me” he says giving you a smile.

   “I’m also willing to try to get along with Malfoy. If he does too” Harry adds and faces your boyfriend who sighs before holding out his hand “For Y/n. Anything” Harry smiles and shakes his hand.

   “My two boys getting along, how cute”

♡~🐍~♡

   Kody- Hope you enjoyed. Requests are open btw. Anyways, peace.

[ninja-bitch]

could you do a hxh adultrio relationship h/c with a female s/o if you wouldn’t mind pls?

This ask is sending me because I’ll be honest none of these guys would make a good bachelor. They’re all horrible. But y’know, we do be into it, so??? You probably already know that and you know anon I’m supporting you a 100%, I would too, I would. I have no survival instinct. Leorio is right there and we all fall for murderer clowns (I’m counting Chrollo in) and the grudge lady ripoff aelflzarnglkznrkz. Don’t mind me! 

Thanks for the ask love <3

Warning: For Chrollo’s behaviour tbh, quite manipulative. Overall the adultrio is pretty bad. Self care would be staying away. Pretty sure Hisoka wants to kill the reader.

Chrollo relationship HCs (SFW)

He’s a hoe who would sleep with the enemy to get information. I said what I said. Do not expect fidelity. He wouldn’t see doing that as cheating. Also, he may or may not have an ulterior motive when he gets in a ‘relationship’

He’d be an asshole. He’d be an asshole that you see once a year who brings the most expensive gifts but you don’t know what he does, he’s always vague.

Very good at speaking his way out of an argument and blame, you’d end up questioning your own behaviour. Oh but he’d be so charming, maybe he’s right?

No but he’d appreciate domesticity too, he’d find it relaxing, he’d actually force it a bit. It would all feel like you’re playing on a stage though if you pick up on his behaviour, like he’s got small tells, he’s good but maybe, maybe he wants you to find out he’s not that good of a person.

But overall very good at playing house (is that the English term???). I do think he’d be good at making someone feel loved, important and smart. He’d be quite nice, but then he would crush you with the most revealing truths about yourself that you try to ignore, he’d do it at random times. I feel like he’d like to do that and then read his partner’s reactions. He’d love to just test things, like a whole experiment. Oh human emotions, let’s see.

I feel like he’d question his own emotions too. But I don’t think he’d be one to fall in love. Maybe he could, who knows? He doesn’t know. He wants to know.

It wouldn’t be a balanced relationship. He’d kind of show up when he wants to, expect a partner to welcome him with open arms, not ask too many questions and definitely expects them to answer all of his. He’d know a partner by heart too. He’d learn to read them quickly.

Very nice conversationalist though. He’d love to share about lots of things that aren’t related to him specifically. He’d appreciate a partner that could follow and talk about anything.

If they figure out what he does he’d actually be proud. Yes ok you figured it out, I steal and kill people for a living, what are you going to do now? He’d be thrilled, are they going to be scared, are they going to ignore that, call cops? Are they going to be happy? He’d be one to date a ‘regular’ person, a civilian, so I doubt they’d be happy about that but well, they could be.

I could also see him having a playful relationship with another thief or hunter. Or even a member of the law, like a detective or something. Do you know killing eve? He’d be Villanelle.

I don’t think he’d talk about them to the troupe, unless they were put in danger and he couldn’t act on it, because despite being a distant, player bitch he still wouldn’t take kindly seeing a partner in harm’s way. If that make sense. He wouldn’t call them his partner, just someone that’s got to be protected here and now. They’d figure it out though, they don’t really care.

Illumi relationship HCs (SFW)

Now, this dude would be the one who’d come the closest to have an actual relationship with someone, next to Chrollo (who’d just be playing house again). How the turntables. No-feelings Illumi is THAT guy.

I feel like his attitude wouldn’t change much with a s/o. He’d get with them and be like, ok so now : marriage, children. Good good good. He’d be pretty blunt about all that.

First I do not know who that guy would go for. But he would make the first move, I don’t think he’d like if someone flirted with him uninvited (unless he’s already into them maybe?), you wouldn’t know I’ll be honest, but if he’s willing to spend some of his precious time with you, it’s a huge sign.

He’d move quickly, it would be overwhelming. Like hey we started dating about 2 weeks ago (And to be honest there’s no change overall in his behaviour) but here’s my mom. Don’t mind her, she’ll try and have you murdered, see if you can take it. If you have what it takes to date her son.  That is if you can open their front door. Like that’s the first step.

Nah but he’d be quite curious about a s/o’s behaviour I think. Like you’ll probably be more expressive than he is. He’d actually like that, but would also apply rules that apply to his family to a partner. Like don’t be too lovey dovey and weak that’ll put you both in danger and that might also annoy him. Though he’d appreciate marks of affections, given at the right time and place. So in private I think.

Would take forever to have a first kiss with someone, maybe they’d have sex before he does that. Or maybe his partner will do that first. He isn’t one for PDA and he doesn’t see it as a huge sign of affection. He may change is mind on that though.

I don’t think he’d fall in love, or at least not easily, I think it would rather be him and this person, his possession (almost) who he doesn’t mind much. Now if they were to really join the family that could change.

Nah but he’d always know where you are and what you’re doing. He’d leave you alone, but he would know, that’s his way of being affectionate. He’d show up unannounced a lot. Like hey I was killing someone in the neighbourhood, here’s their necklace, I thought it looked good.

He’d the only one that would genuinely remember your birthday (the other probably have ulterior motives if they do) but he wouldn’t do anything. You wouldn’t know. Good job Illumi.

Hisoka relationship HCs (SFW but also NSFW-ish)

Lmao, the WORST. Does he want to fight or fuck who knows? He probably wants both and more.

I do not think he’d get in a relationship at all, at least not a regular one. He’d visit a ‘partner’ quite a lot though. Would be one to use the word boyfriend or grilfriend just to annoy them, not genuinely.

He’d still try and fuck a lot of other people too. He’d be a far better fuck buddy I’ll be honest. I feel like he would make it sexual, strictly sexual anyway. Wouldn’t care if they fucked someone else, the more the merrier, he wants to be invited.

Wouldn’t hide what he does for a living (I mean, what does he do really?) and would love to keep his intentions to fight them known at all times.

Nah, but he’d love to play games. Like tease a partner about everything and anything, flirt, let them think he loves them and then ditch. You’d never know what the truth is. 

Oh but he’d both be very good at praising and belittling someone. Whatever he feels like doing to be honest. 

Sometimes he can be nice and more serious, those are the weirdest, most uncomfortable times. Is it real? Is he getting real with you or is he just playing? It would feel so out of character, you wouldn’t know and you’d want to trust it. Don’t

Nah but if they were to suggest a relationship, he’d find it quite fun though. I think he might get in a relationship just for the hell of it, like can you entertain him? Let’s hope he doesn’t get bored too quickly because I think he’d find regular relationships quite boring. If they were to have the same mindset he’d be thrilled. You’re both clowns.

Would be one to love arguments and start them for drama. He’d say some out of pocket shit just to rile them up, that makes him horny.

I want to say he wouldn’t take them on a date, and hell, if he did you’d probably be arrested for outrage or some shit. But would love to hang out. Would use someone as a scapegoat.

Now again, I don’t think he’d fall for someone, but he’d be able to value them a lot. He could quickly change is mind though. Would sacrifice them if it meant he could keep on living and doing his own shit. But you know, I feel like he might get a soft spot for someone. He’d realise it and ditch though. No in this fucking house. He’s not the one being played.

But he could also become very protective, in an unhealthy way. Like that’s my ripe fruit person thing, I get to harm them not you.

Now I don’t know why you’d want to do that but he’d be wonderful if you introduced him to your family. He’d be having a lot of fun. They would love him. Give or take.

[open-three-inches]

ponyboy’s coming of age headcannons🤍🤍

when he’s fourteen his favourite songs are my generation by the who and don’t think twice it’s alright by bob dylan

 the gang tease the hell out of him for liking bob dylan

 they call him a hippie

 this changes when he first hears led zeppelin on the radio in the late 60s, his soul literally ascends from his body when he hears robert plants voice for the first time 

 he shoots up in height at around fourteen and half

 by 15 he’s taller than Soda

 Soda hates it lmao

 grows to be about 6′1

 is terrified of spiders

 soda always gets rid of them for him

 but soda will also chase ponyboy around the whole house with the spider

 ponyboy once gave soda a black eye after he got a spider thrown on him

 he says in was an accident but honestly didn’t feel guilty about it lmao

 darry thought him how to drive

 sodapop came for ‘entertainment purposes’

ponyboy did eventually learn how to drive but it cost him almost losing his life

not from almost crashing or anything, just from darry almost strangling him out of frustration

also has a real dirty mouth

like cursing

he's the worst out of the whole gang for it 

he is such a pretty boy and has most of Tulsa in love with him

he’s pretty dumb and doesn’t realise how good looking he is though

 for example curly flirting with him for years before they got together

 disaster bisexual omfg

 lowkey a hopeless romantic too

 will think nonstop about the boy who held the door open for him or the girl who served him in a restaurant lmaooo

 HE’S A LITTLE SHIT AS WELL

 HIS SMARTMOUTH FUCK

imagine the sass of eric forman, harry potter and jess mariano all rolled into one

that’s ponyboy

everyone thinks he’s really nice but then he’ll hit someone with a roast that is so fuckin good that they will cry for the person who was insulted 

its steve getting roasted most of the time

 he’s really really witty

 becomes a lot more outspoken as he gets older

 very talented at hot wiring cars

still hates fighting but has and will break anyone’s nose if he feels the need to

 has his first kiss at 14 with a girl named betty

 he dated her for a while 

 he dated a good few people in his teenage years

 once he went skinny dipping with his then boyfriend and got caught by police and was brought home in a cop car

 darry hit the roof 

 steve claims the greatest moment of his life was ponyboy being led into the curtis house by a policeman soaking wet and half naked

 never really fell madly in love with anyone he dated though

 until his junior year when he suddenly couldn’t get curly shepard out his  head

 loves animals

 darry wont let them get a pet but ponyboy feeds stray dogs and cats around tulsa

 he has a name for every single one

he considers them his pets.

 in 1967 he cuts school to listen to sgt pepper by the beatles 

 he figures its the greatest album ever made

but he’s really stubborn and won’t admit for months that he likes the beatles after all the shit talking he did about them.

 he gets high for the first time with curly and they listen to the album again

 a stoner. 100%

 he cuts back on smoking cigarettes but gets high all the fucking time 

 has a stash under his mattress for when darry or steve are really pissing him off

has a really good group of friends 

they’re the same age as pony so it’s different to the curtis gang

he considers them brothers anyway so they don’t count

 they get into a lot of shit together

 soda thinks all the stuff they get up to is hilarious 

 darry is tired

 his best friend is a girl named juliet

 lesbian + bi duo

 juliet has common sense, something which ponyboy lacks, so they work well together.

 they talk about girls together

 juliet has a girlfriend named flo and they’re very much in love <3

 ponyboy will third wheel them sometimes lmao

 like he did with johnny and dal

him and curly finally start dating when ponyboy’s 16 going on 17

it surprises him how quickly he fell in love with curly

they’re both absolutely whipped for each other

darry and soda don’t really like curly but pony makes it clear they have to just put up with him

curly doesn’t exactly help, pissing darry and soda off seems to be his favourite pastime

they open up to each other about everything 

pony tells curly all about windrixville

 he thinks about johnny and dally a lot still

 he still has johnny’s letter inside the gone with the wind

 it’s really important to him, it comes with him to college.

 speaking of which, he goes to columbia university in new york

 full scholarship bby

 wasn’t going to go due to the fact it was so far from home, and he didn’t want to be that far from his family

 darry found out and almost killed him

 they had a talk about it though

 it was sweet and it helped pony feel better about leaving tulsa

 he also graduated from high school top of his class

 sodapop bawled at his graduation and two-bit made a poster for him

 he went to see his parents after his grad

 he really did wish they had been there for it

 curly didn’t see him graduate either which really hurt ponyboy

 they had gotten into a big fight a week or so before

 the reality of ponyboy leaving tulsa had been the elephant in the room for a while, but both of them were just avoiding it

 eventually tensions rise and both of their emotions explode

 they say things they regret and curly storms away from ponyboy

 curly later gets hauled in for getting into a bar fight

 so he misses ponyboy’s graduation

ponyboy loves curly more than anything and he knows curly loves him just as much

but he also knows it won’t work

so he visits curly in jail 

he keeps his emotions under control while he’s there like he always has had to do living on the east side

he tells curly that he’s leaving in a few weeks 

curly, who has always been closed off about his emotions, pleads with ponyboy to stay through tears

ponyboy loves curly but he can’t stay in this town anymore

and curly can’t seem to bring himself to leave it

so they break up

he cries himself to sleep most nights after

sodapop helps him through it 

he tries not to think about it though, making himself busy with packing and getting ready to leave for new york

he sees curly once more before he leaves

he’s out with his friends for the last time before he leaves when he sees curly, fresh out of jail, with some of the shepard gang

their eyes meet and they hold each others gaze for a few moments

ponyboy breaks it

he can’t quite find the strength to talk to curly

he finds himself wondering for months after what would have happened if he had just talked to curly that night

ponyboy can’t help but hope that curly will show up the day he’s meant to leave for college and everything will be okay again

he doesn’t

both of them are to stubborn for their own good

he leaves new york just after his 18th birthday

his brothers hug him tighter than ever and ponyboy almost changes his mind about leaving right there and then

sodapop, through his tears, swears that if ponyboy doesn’t call them everyday he’ll hunt him down in new york and kick his ass

steve wishes him well and looks almost misty eyed

ponyboy of course makes a smart comment about this which leads to steve rolling his eyes instead

not in a mean way though, almost sentimental, like he’ll actually miss ponyboy 

he drives around the town one more time before he leaves taking in everything and the memories, good and bad, he associated with his home

it’s a bittersweet feeling to leave behind his childhood but ponyboy thinks he’s ready

he almost drives to curlys just to see him one last time

Almost.

[yuthoe]

Day 22: Reunion (MONSTA X: Yoo Kihyun)

TODAY'S LATE PROMPT FOR MTM IS:

Day 22: Fake Dating

ah yes, one of the favorite tropes in fanfic and i did not do it justice at all lmao. truthfully i was really excited about this, but the fic took a left somewhere and grew its own mind or smth. i think the poor writing is a combination of burnout and getting really distracted lmao.

tried to make kihyun the savage guy that he is, but still polite and considerate and i think i did that???? question mark???? please tell me what you thought about this lmao, i've never been to a high school reunion (except for my grandma's) and will never go to one anytime soon.

PAIRING: Yoo Kihyun x reader. GENRE: fic, fluff, mild angst. WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, swearing. WORD COUNT: 1,769.

---

“Act natural,” you say as you smooth down the lapels of your friend’s coat, dust some lint off the shoulders. “Like, just act like normal. We just have to say hi to a few people and then go after an hour or something.”

Kihyun is looking you over as well, straightening out the sleeves of your shirt and making sure your hair is nice and styled and perfect. “I’m taking that as a go signal to tease you in front of everyone then, gotcha.”

You roll your eyes and take his hand, tugging him towards the glass door of the events hall. “Very funny, but you know what? These people might buy it even more, so go ahead.”

He intertwines your fingers as he pushes the door open for you. There’s a smirk on his face that says you’re going to regret what you just said. “If you say so," he says, as you pull him along with you.

Everything is decorated like a senior prom from the early 2000s--balloons everywhere, streamers hung up on the walls, a disco ball suspended in the middle of the room. There's a stage set up at the far wall, and popular tracks from your high school days play softly on the sound system. People are already mingling, table hopping when they see a familiar face.

You go to the small registration booth off to the side, Kihyun in tow, and sign on the space next to your name, walking away quickly to find a table. It's easy to weave through the thin crowd to your spot, and thankfully no one goes up to talk to you as you settle in.

A relieved sigh escapes your lips as you deflate against the seat; Kihyun chuckles at the sight.

"Why are you so nervous? You were so confident when you asked me out,” he says, smirking at your flustered state.

“Hey,” you counter, sitting up straight and pointing at him. There’s a smile of embarrassment threatening to crawl up your face, but you force it down. “This isn’t a date. I didn’t ask you out—I respectfully asked if you could come with me to my high school reunion and pretend we’re dating. There’s a difference.”

He tilts his head and laughs. “Okay, fine, this isn’t a date. But you’re shaking like a hamster, dude. What’s got you so jittery?”

Before you can open your mouth to say something smart, a yell of your name behind you makes you stop. Suddenly a flurry of pink silk ruffles envelops you, cold metal bracelets press against your face and neck, and a tinnitus-inducing squeal is blasted in your ear.

“OMG, I can’t believe you made it!” The offending classmate plops down the seat beside you and… you can’t say you remember her. You know you have a questionable memory, but you can’t recall anyone with a scarily-toothy smile and long acrylic nails. “I was wondering if you were gonna show today, I missed you!”

You smile warily. “Yeah, I thought I’d stop by, just for a bi—,”

“And who is this with you?” she interrupts, gaze fixed on your friend now.

Kihyun still has a polite smile on, eyebrow raised and patiently waiting for you to introduce him. You meet his eyes and take a steadying breath.

“This is, uh. Kihyun. My boyfriend.”

Your batchmate immediately extends a hand out to him. “Hi there! I’m Danhee. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Kihyun grasps her hand and shakes it firmly. “Likewise.”

Danhee (apparently, that’s her name. Still doesn’t ring a bell.) turns back to you, props an elbow on the table and rests her chin on her hand. “So what have you been up to lately?”

“Oh, you know, nothing much,” you say, twiddling your thumbs under the table. “Work’s keeping me busy, mostly. It’s pretty—,”

“Great! How’d you two meet?” Her eyes are sparkling, in that menacing way you’re familiar with when someone is hunting for gossip. “Probably work, right? I know Y/N isn’t that outgoing so I doubt—,”

“You know what, I’m gonna go get a drink.” You turn to Kihyun, desperate to get away. “You want a drink, Kihyun? Cool, I’ll get you something.” The chair screeches as you push away from the table and make a beeline for the buffet.

The air conditioning helps cool down your flaming face as you leave to get some reprieve from the suffocating air of the table. No matter how much you wrack your brain you can’t seem to remember anyone named Danhee; maybe she was in another class and part of the popular clique, a group you tended to stay away from.

You take a deep breath, surveying the array of finger food and wonder briefly what the main dishes are. The arrangement is no different from the ones you’ve seen at company parties—save maybe for the small picket signs that have slang from your high school days speared into some of the food. Despite looking delicious, you feel nauseous at the thought of taking a bite.

The drinks corner offers coffee, the kind that tries to pass off as Americano but ends up tasting more like candy because people keep putting too much sugar in it. It’s what you and Kihyun call “conference coffee” and shit on for the entirety of the conference you’re attending, even as you keep drinking it because there’s usually no other choice. Water is an option, as well as a fruit punch of some kind. If you’re being honest, you’d really like a beer right now, but you know the alcohol won’t come out until later.

In addition to the mound of paperwork you forced yourself to finish earlier, this week has just been plain exhausting. You’d hoped that coming to the reunion would help you relax, but apparently not.

Ice cubes clink as they go down the tall glasses. The coffee, however sugary it turns out to be, still smells heavenly and wakes you up some. You water both servings down a bit, if only to tamp down the syrupy sweetness.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says, hand coming down to rest on your shoulder. Kihyun moves into your line of vision, brows slightly scrunched. “You okay there?”

You don’t answer, thinking of words to say that won’t make you look pathetic in front of your work partner. You’re usually great at explaining and justifying your actions to your superiors, but words fail you this time.

So you just shrug and hand him his drink. “Can’t say for sure.” You take a sip and cringe; your mouth feels like it’s coated in a thick layer of sugar. Kihyun watches you and decides wisely to put his drink down, but pours two glasses of water.

“Do you know her?” he asks, concentrating on the drinks.

“Danhee? Nah. I mostly avoided her type back then. Being around them made me uncomfy.”

“‘Cuz she looks like a part of the Plastics from Mean Girls?”

You scoff. “No,” you say, but smile all the same as you walk back to your table. “Because I was a loner and operated on the mindset of ‘I’m not like other girls’ throughout high school.”

Kihyun laughs loud. “God, I didn’t think you were the type.”

“Unfortunately, yeah.” You sigh as you sit back down. “Thankfully outgrew that in college, though. Turns out being surrounded with a lot of open-minded people does something to your personality, and,” you open your arms, presenting yourself to Kihyun’s amused smile. “Now you have me, your beloved hardworking partner that throws snark at you everyday.”

If anything, his grin gets wider. Kihyun raises his glass of water, and you toast. “I’m proud of you for becoming so mature.” He takes a drink, making faces like he’s downing whiskey instead of regular water. “Although, apparently not mature enough to just ask me out plain and simple.”

You want to strangle him, you really do.

He’s right, though. Part of the reason why you invited him as your plus one is for moral support and to show people that the wallflower can also nab a man as great as Kihyun. But the other reason is that you’ve wanted to ask Kihyun on a date, but just didn’t know how to without embarrassing yourself.

You sigh and take a swig of your water. “Yeah, well, can you blame me, though? We always keep professional at work and I barely see you outside the building, so I haven’t really gotten a chance to ask.” You’re not lying—Kihyun being here is only possible because you left the building at the same time last week and asked him then before you chickened out.

He tilts his head in assent and takes another sip before crossing his arms on the table to whisper at you. “How about we make this a date, then?”

You raise an eyebrow, smiling like you can’t believe he suggested such a ridiculous thing. “What—here? My high school reunion that I only invited you to because I didn’t want to be alone?”

And maybe it’s the trick of the light, but you think you see his eyes go soft. “Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not ideal, but we’re here anyway. There’s free food, shitty coffee, and some entertainment.” He tilts his head to the stage, and you follow his gaze to where a couple of your batchmates are discussing something, mics in their hands. “Whether it’s the good kind of entertainment or the cringy kind though, we’ll find out soon,” you hear him whisper.

In theory, you have nothing to lose. Nothing really to hide. Perhaps the worst part of the night passed when you had that panicked moment with Danhee earlier, and all that’s left is to enjoy the night. You can still leave in an hour or two like you planned, but now with a higher chance of getting a few drinks afterwards, too.

So you make your decision and look back at him. “All right, Yoo Kihyun,” you say. “You’ve got yourself a date.”

His smile morphs into a smirk, the trademark confident grin making a small shudder run down your spine. You try to keep your composure as he slides a hand to your thigh. “Perfect. Wanna bet you’ll last an hour before you want to leave?” His fingers are massaging your knee, soft hands gentle on the meat of your thigh.

You scoff, grabbing at his hand to make him stop. “Deal. I’ll bet you an hour and a half.”

And before you turn your attention back to the stage, you see his smirk again, excited for the challenge.

[musette22]

As it's Chris' birthday today, what's your Evanstan headcon for how they are spending it? We don't know if Chris is still in LA (as far as I know), do you think he might be back in Boston to be with his family? That would mean Seb could easily visit him now that the lockdown in NYC is over. Or would he fly to LA to celebrate with his bf? (He hasn't been seen in NYC in the last couple of days either, right?) Or will the only hang out virtually? I would love to know what you are imagining 😊

Hello darling!! So yesterday, I said I probably wasn’t going to write any Evanstan for a while, but then I woke up this morning and had a lovely little Evanstan headcanon fantasy about Chris’s birthday - as you do - and then I thought screw it, let’s write this thing. So here’s a little drabble (well, it should’ve been a drabble) about how Chris might have spent his birthday 😘

A/N: This is just a nonsensical little fantasy scenario that doesn’t actually make any sense, but the idea made me happy, so I hope it’ll make you guys happy too! Don’t look too closely, please, there’s some overlap with previous fics and this was all written very quickly and hasn’t been edited properly because it’s late where I am and I need to sleep lmao 🙈 Sorry about that!

Happy birthday, Mr. America 

*********

Chris likes surprises, generally speaking.

Not the nasty kind, like when a part unexpectedly falls through, or someone gets angry at him out of the blue and he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. But he likes it when exciting things happen and shake things up a bit, like when he’s having a lazy day alone at home, and a friend suddenly shows up on his doorstep to tell him, change of plans, we’re going bungee jumping. When that happens, Chris will happily drop whatever he’s doing and jump in the car, because that’s the kind of thing that makes him feel alive.

So when he arrives at the Evans’ family house today, on his birthday, and is greeted by a chorus of Surprise! and Happy Birthdays from a bunch of people he hasn’t seen ages - literal years, in some cases - Chris is delighted and touched; excited to see familiar faces and catch up with his friends and family.

That excited feeling lasts for a solid few hours, until his Aunt Melanie corners him and starts telling Chris about her Pilates instructor. This isn’t the first time she’s tried to set Chris up with whichever wonderful girl she’s most recently met and feels would be perfect for Chris, but this time she’s really hammering on about how she just can’t understand why a good-looking, successful young man like him hasn’t found a wife yet. She no doubt means well, but that doesn’t mean Chris is about to go on a blind date with her Pilates instructor.

When he’s finally managed to excuse himself under the pretense of needing a bathroom break, he sneaks off to the back of the house, to his dad’s old study. As soon as the door closes behind him, he lets out a sigh of relief and leans back against it for a moment, catching his breath. He loves his family to bits, but there’s no denying they’re a lot. There’s a sofa in the study, a wide, navy blue one, and Chris lies down on it, stretching himself to his full length. He closes his eyes, hoping to nap for a couple of minutes, but no dice. His aunt’s comments play in his head on a loop, causing something uneasy to stir in his stomach.

The thing is, she’s right. He should already be married and have a couple of cute kids to dote on. He’s wanted to have a family and settle down for a long time, ever since he got done with sowing his wild oats and calmed down a little. He’s the long-term relationship kind, and there had been a few girlfriends with whom he thought he definitely could see a future.

That had been Before, though. Before Sebastian Stan had waltzed into his life and upended everything Chris thought he knew for certain, complicating everything in the best and worst possible way. After the initial shock of developing feelings for another guy wore off, Chris had simply accepted his infatuation as a fact of life, and it had become something he carried with him always, but never acted on or even spoke of. He wouldn’t know where to start. It was clear there was something between them, though. The way Sebastian looked at him sometimes… It had to mean something. For the longest time, they’d danced around each other, always just shy of outright flirting, and there had been a few times when Chris really thought something might finally happen between them. But it never did.

And now it never would. They’ve hardly even seen each other, over the past year, after they stopped working together. Sure, they kept in touch from time to time, but there is only so much keeping in touch two work friends can plausibly do before it gets weird or necessarily has to turn into something else. And Chris thought he’d accepted that, more or less.

But then last week, he and Scott had gotten drunk together – like really, stupidly drunk. At around 3 in the morning, Scott had put on The First Avenger so he could make fun of Chris in his skin tight leggings, and then suddenly Sebastian’s face had been right there on his TV screen: larger than life, young and handsome like he’d been when Chris first felt that tug in his gut when he’d looked at him.

And Chris, whose brain-to-mouth filter unfortunately ceases to exist entirely whenever he’s had too much to drink, had just blurted out, “I think I’m in love with him.”

Initially, Scott had thought Chris meant that Steve was in love with Bucky. 

“Well, clearly,” he’d slurred. “They’re soooo gay, oh my god.”

And instead of using the misunderstanding to cover up for his unfortunate drunken slip-up, Chris had slowly shook his head and corrected, “No, with Sebastian. ‘M in love with Sebastian. Have been for a long time, I think.”

He’d passed out not long after, possibly his subconscious’ way of trying to protect himself against the barrage of questions from Scott that Chris had been in no state to answer in that moment. Inevitably, Scott had tried to talk to him about it the next day, but Chris – hungover, embarrassed and annoyed with himself for opening his big mouth and spilling this secret that he’d managed to keep for close to a decade – had told Scott to leave it and that he didn’t want to talk about it. Nothing was ever going to come of this now anyway, so it was much better if they could all just forget it ever happened.

Scott and he had gone to dinner at their mom’s that night, and of course, Lisa had instantly sensed something was off. Unfortunately, Chris never did stand a chance in hell against his mother, so when she took him to aside after dinner and outright asked him what was wrong, he’d had no choice but to spill the beans. Besides, if he didn’t, Scott would probably have found a way to guilt him into telling Lisa, eventually - they’d always shared everything with her, after all.

Lisa had been so loving and understanding, just like Chris knew she would, and despite the aching in his chest, he was grateful and a little bit relieved to know he wasn’t keeping something this significant from her any longer. But in the end, it didn’t change anything. Of course, Lisa had asked him why he didn’t just go for it, told him to just go for it, call Sebastian and ask him out for dinner, but Chris had dismissed all her suggestions. It just wasn’t going to happen. Certainly not now, not anymore.

She’d dropped it, eventually, but Chris is under no illusions that he’s heard the last of it.

Since then, he’d tried to put the whole fiasco out of his mind, but then Aunt Melanie started badgering him about his marital status and it had all come rushing back again.

Just when Chris about to give up on trying to nap and head outside to get some fresh air instead, there’s a knock at the door.

Chris sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Come in,” he calls, not bothering to get up because it’s probably his mom coming to check on him. “Hey, mom,” he says, when Lisa’s head does appear around the door.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she replies, smiling. She opens the door a little wider. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Oh?” Chris says, sitting up a little straighter for whatever friend or family member his mom wants him to meet so urgently, but then Lisa steps aside to reveal –  

Sebastian.

Sebastian is here. In his mom’s house. Standing right there, looking a little apprehensive and unsure, but still so fucking gorgeous it makes Chris’s heart stop for a moment inside his chest, before it starts up again at double speed.

“Hey, Chris,” Sebastian says, and it’s his voice, he’s really here, in Chris’s dad’s old study, speaking actual words at him.

What the fuck.

Chris gets to his feet so fast he feels a bit lightheaded, lightly swaying on his feet before he manages to get some semblance of a reply. "Hi. What- Sebastian. What are you doing here?"

Sebastian’s eyes flicker to Lisa for a moment, looking at her a little uncertainly. She gives him an encouraging nod.

“Um,” Sebastian starts, turning his eyes back to Chris again. “Lisa, your mom, invited me to your surprise birthday party.” He licks his lips nervously. “So, yeah, happy birthday. And, um. Surprise.” The last word is accompanied by a dorky little wave, and Chris is just. Speechless.

Literally, can’t form any words speechless, which is highly unusual for him. When he just keeps standing there, staring a Sebastian like he’s some kind of fata morgana, Lisa rolls her eyes and nudges Sebastian with her elbow.

“Well, go on, then,” she prompts, nodding in Chris’s direction. “He won’t bite.” Then, the look in her eyes turns mischievous, and Chris has half a second to think oh no, before she adds, “Unless you like that sort of thing, of course, but then he'd ask first. I raised him well.”

Sebastian makes a strangled sound, but starts towards him nonetheless, and before he really knows what’s happening, Chris is holding Sebastian in his arms. Holding him in his arms and burying his face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in. Sebastian’s arms go around him, too, a little tentative at first, but growing tighter, more secure, the longer the hug lasts. 

And it lasts, much longer than a casual happy birthday hug between friends is supposed to last, but Chris can’t for the life of him bring himself to let go. He knows he’s clinging, that he’s got his nose pressed to the spot below Sebastian’s ear and that’s probably far too intimate, but Sebastian’s arms around are wound tightly around Chris’s waist and his cheek is presses to the side of Chris’s face, and he’s not letting go either.

Finally, after what feels simultaneously like forever and the blink of an eye, Sebastian inhales shakily, his chest expanding against Chris’s. With Herculean effort, Chris makes himself pull away. But, of course, that brings with it the complication of being able to see Sebastian’s face, flustered and glowing, eyes shining with something unnameable. They’re so close then, their faces only an inch or so apart, and when Sebastian’s eyes flicker down to Chris’s mouth for a split second, Chris’s restraint breaks.

He lunges forward, and Sebastian does the same, and their mouths crash together awkwardly and suddenly, they’re kissing. Really, actually kissing. 

Chris’s hands fly to Sebastian’s face, holding it like it’s something precious, causing Sebastian to make a small, desperate sound that reverberates throughout Chris’s entire body. When he licks at the seam of Sebastian’s lips, Sebastian parts them immediately, letting him in, and Chris is drowning. Drowning in the kiss, in Sebastian’s taste, his smell, the little sighs he’s making against Chris’s lips, like he’s just as overwhelmed and stupefied and happy as Chris is, while they cling to each other like they’re each scared the other’s going to disappear if they dare to let up for just one second.

Eventually, though, they have to break apart for air. Chris presses their foreheads together, unwilling to put any more distance between them than is strictly necessary, still breathing the same air. When Chris eventually opens his eyes, he finds Sebastian looking back at him in a way that makes his knees feel suddenly weak.

"Hi," Seb says, voice low and husky.

"Hey," Chris replies, his hands on either side of Sebastian’s face, thumbs idly caressing his cheekbones.

Sebastian giggles, a light, happy sound that makes his nose do that scrunchy thing it does, and Chris wants to die. He groans, pulling Sebastian back in by the back of his neck –

And then Lisa clears her throat. Sebastian startles; he’d evidently forgotten she was still there, or maybe assumed she’d have left to give them their privacy, but that just goes to show Sebastian doesn’t know Lisa very well – yet.

"Well,” Lisa says, a grin in her voice. “I'll leave you two to it then, let me know if you need anything.” She pauses, before cheekily adding, “Anything at all."

“Yes, thank you, mom,” Chris says quickly, keen to spare Sebastian any further embarrassment. Sebastian’s hiding his face in Chris’s chest as it is, arms still wound around his waist, and Chris is literally about to pass out from how fucking cute that is.

Holding up a placating hand, Lisa finally retreats, closing the door behind her.

Once they’re alone, Chris steers Sebastian towards the couch, sitting down and pulling him into his lap. Sebastian lets himself be guided, straddling Chris’s thighs and giving him a coy look through his eyelashes. Chris blows out a slow breath to center himself a little, bringing up his hands to settle on Sebastian’s waist.

He knows they’ll need to talk about this at some point, but right now he can’t think of a single way to express what he’s feeling, and what this means to him. Right now, all he can do is stare at Sebastian in wonder, relishing finally getting to look at him the way he’s always wanted to: unabashedly, fondly, and very appreciative of exactly how tempting Sebastian’s lips look – especially after having been thoroughly kissed. By him.

“Fuck,” Chris breathes, overwhelmed, leaning in again to catch those pretty pink lips in another kiss.

Sebastian responds beautifully, opening up right away, melting into him. His arms wind around Chris’s shoulders, fingers scratching gently through the hair on the back of Chris’s head, making him shiver.

It’s sweet, at first; lips sliding together lazily, slow and lush, but eventually, the kisses turn a little dirtier, with nipping teeth and teasing tongues. When Sebastian bites Chris’s bottom lip a bit too hard, pulling on it, Chris literally goes cross-eyed for a second. The hand that found its way into Sebastian’s hair tightens instinctively, pulling his head back just a little.

“Oh,” Sebastian breathes, eyelids fluttering, and Chris instantly feels all his blood rushing south.

He can’t believe it. He can’t believe he has Sebastian here, in his lap, looking like innocence and sin wrapped into one, looking at him through heavy lidded eyes like it’s Chris who’s something to be desired. And Chris wants. He wants so bad, with every fiber of his being, to have Sebastian right there and then, but he has just enough presence of mind left to know that they can’t rush this, can’t make any rash decisions they might later regret if they don’t talk about what’s happening first.

Words still seem impossible, however, so instead, Chris takes one of Sebastian’s hands in his and presses a kiss to the center his palm, hoping to convey with that one gesture everything he wants to say but can’t.

When he looks back up, Sebastian blinks at him, his eyes wide and stunned, before he suddenly grabs Chris’s face between his hands and starts planting breathless kisses on his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, and even his nose. Chris lets himself be kissed, basks in it, feeling like his heart might burst, and when Sebastian finally presses his lips to his mouth, Chris seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Despite Chris’s best intentions, it turns heated again in no time. Without his permission, his hands slide under Sebastian’s shirt, stroking the smooth, warm skin of his back, while Sebastian mouths at Chris’s jaw, then trails a path of kisses down the column of his neck.

“Seb,” Chris groans, hands tightening convulsively on Sebastian’s waist. “Sebastian, wait.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Sebastian pants, lifting his head to look down at him. He’s disheveled, his hair a mess, pupils blown, his lips red and a little raw from mouthing at Chris’s beard. He looks stunning.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” Chris says honestly, touching Sebastian’s left cheek.

Sebastian ducks his head turning his face into Chris’s palm, but he’s smiling, which makes Chris smile, too, then they’re just smiling at each other like a couple of dorks.

Chris shifts their positions to get more comfortable, tugging at Sebastian until they’re both lying on the couch on their sides, face to face. Pulling him closer, into his chest, Chris swings a leg over both of Sebastian’s, and Sebastian takes the hint immediately, snuggling into Chris and tucking his head under his chin so they’re full on cuddling.

“Best fucking birthday present ever,” Chris mutters into Sebastian’s hair, his hand tracing idle patters on Sebastian’s upper arm. In reply, Sebastian presses a kiss to Chris’s chest, over his heart.

Somehow, they snooze for a little while, just drifting in and out of consciousness, neither of them seeming to want to untangle themselves from the other, until after an indeterminate amount of time, there’s a soft knock at the door.

Chris hums questioningly in reply, not wanting to wake Sebastian, and the door opens cautiously. Lisa pokes her head in again, and the moment she sees them, all wrapped around each other like that, she covers her mouth with her hands, cooing softly.

“Happy Birthday, baby,” she whispers, her eyes shining with affection and pride.

“Thanks, mom,” Chris whispers back, blinking back tears. “Love you.”

From where he’s half asleep on Chris’s chest, Sebastian murmurs, “Love you, too.”

[heavymetalover]

Call Me Daddy (Michael Langdon x fem reader)

Part II

Summary: Michael is about to become your step dad and the two of you have an unusual relationship…

Warnings: daddy kink (duh), nsfw, dirty talk, female masturbation, mean!michael, cockwarming, vaginal sex, rough sex.

WC: 4k

A/N: long awaited, but ive licherally had the worst few months mentally lmao so i hope you can understand. anywaysz heres pt 2 in all of its fucked up glory…

~~~~

 “Sex on the Beach,” your mom says.

“What?” you gasp, slapping down the menu you were hiding behind.

“And for you?” the waiter asks. A hint of confusion is spread on his face, but is conclusively overridden with professionalism.

“Oh,” you sigh, there’s a slight raspiness to your voice from all the screaming you did last night. “Just a water,” you fold up the menu and hand it to the waiter with a faux smile. You’ve been zoning in and out of consciousness today, ultimately trying to talk yourself out of believing what you did with Michael. You don’t even know how you brought yourself to talk to your mom, let alone sit face to face with her and share a drink. You’re going to be sick.

Your mom sighs, looking at you up and down. “What am I going to do with you?” she asks, shaking her head. “You’re just like me when I was your age. I mean, look at the circles under your eyes,” she reaches over the table to point on your face, “did you even get a wink of sleep?”

Now that she pointed it out, you feel the sudden urge to yawn. “I was cramming,” you yawn. Your mom raises a brow inquisitively. “Cramming for a test, studying,” you quickly explain, “I was studying all night.”

“Yeah, I bet,” she rolls her eyes. “I’m not stupid, y/n.”

You swallow hard, staring daggers at your mom. “What do you mean?” you ask. The waiter drops off your orders, but he might as well be invisible.

Your mom sighs and takes a sip of her drink. “You don’t have to lie to me,” she says, “I know you were at a party last night. I was your age once, too.”

You let out a shaky breath, “Yeah, you’re right.” Every word that comes out of her mouth now sounds threatening. How are you going to live under the same roof as the two of them? Last night was a mistake to say the least. You don’t know how you’ll live with yourself, especially since you haven’t seen Michael since…

Your mom waves someone down and you glance over your shoulder, making eye contact with his light blue eyes only for a moment. His eyes glue to your moms until he reaches the table and kisses her on the cheek, squeezing into the seat next to her. He’s completely ignoring your presence, rolling up the sleeves of his formfitting black turtleneck and talking to your mom.

Michael flips through the menu and you stare at him, waiting for acknowledgment, and being met with disappointment. “Their cocktails are great,” your mom enthuses, rubbing his slim bicep. “I’ve had this before,” she points at the menu, “it’s really good.”

You don’t even hide your stares, being as obvious as you can be about it. You know he knows you’re looking at him and waiting for the satisfaction of his eyes to meet yours. “Michael likes sex on the beach,” you exclaim. Both of them look up at you, Michael’s face is pale and his lips are pressed into a straight line. “Doesn’t he?” you turn to your mom.

There’s an aggressive silence between all of you, but the tension is most apparently shared between you and Michael. “Oh, I don’t think he likes the sweeter drinks,” your mom finally answers for him. Michael hasn’t taken his eyes off of you. He stares at you with, the only way you can describe it, sheer hatred.

The waiter comes back again, hands behind his back. He stands patiently and asks Michael if he’s decided on anything from the menu. After a few more moments, he breaks his stare and looks down at his menu. “I think a bourbon would be great,” he smiles, “that’s it.” He turns back to look at you, eyes wide. You can practically hear his voice, soft yet demanding, in your ear. Behave kitten, his voice purrs in your skull. Behave or I’ll have to punish you. You’re gushing just at the thought.

Your mom dismisses herself from the table to go to the bathroom and gives Michael one more quick kiss before leaving. He watches her walk away with a faint smile, then turns to you. “So, you’re just going to hold this over my head now?” he whispers over the table, eyes darting around in case your mom pops back.

You sit back in your seat and cross your arms over your chest. It’s like you’re programmed to always be defiant with Michael. “No,” you reply nonchalantly with a shrug.

He scoffs and shakes his head. “If you’re going to act this childish, then whatever happened last night should be left on that beach.”

“Fine,” you spout.

“Fine,” he replies casually.

You feel your face twisting in anger. Michael takes everything from you; your mom, your house, your life. You can’t bare letting him have the last word. “Good,” you answer, subtly trying to shift in your seat from the soreness he’s caused you.

His eyes trail down your body, watching you struggle from his damage, and he smiles slightly. “Good.”

Fucking asshole.

----

The cute guy from the party last week shoves his tongue down your throat. His name is Derek… or Dylan. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter to you. You and Michael have successfully ignored each other this past week. He started doing his work in his room, spending all his free time with your mom, and fucking her louder than he ever has before just to piss you off. It’s working.

You sit on the kitchen counter while Derek craned his head up, caressing your legs with a gentle touch. Despite not knowing his exact name, you like him. You like running your fingers through his curly brown hair and tasting the remnants of peppermint gum in his mouth.

“Maybe we should take this upstairs,” he breathes into your lips.

Your heart skips a beat, now facing the only reason you brought him here in the first place. You want Michael to walk in on the two of you. Even though it’s difficult for you to admit that to yourself, it’s true. The only place you two ever cross paths anymore is in the kitchen, but Michael’s been out of the house all day. You’re willing to kiss this boy for hours if it means Michael will see the two of you for a second.

You wrap your legs around him, pulling him smack against the counter. “I like it here,” you lie. Your ass is getting numb from sitting on the counter, but you don’t dare show it.

Derek continues kissing you; his hands drift up your dress and round your hips to cup your ass. He hostilely shifts you closer to him and you gasp into his kiss. His fingers inch closer to your pussy and you feel your heart beating in your throat, you’ve been craving a possessive touch.

He presses one finger against your clit and you let out a shaky breath. He pulls the fabric of your panties to the side and starts rubbing your clit up and down, not quite as skillful as you were hoping. You put your hand over his and pilot his fingers to move in small, slow circles like Michael does.

You shut your eyes tight; finally feeling somebody else’s touch is so liberating. “M’yeah,” you moan into his mouth, “just like that, daddy.”

“Daddy?” he says with a slight chuckle. You stop kissing him for a moment and his half-lidded green eyes stare up at you. “That’s so hot.”

He reaches up to give sloppy kisses, forcing his tongue into your mouth again. His fingers lag when he focuses on kissing you, but you don’t mind. You like his lips; you could taste his minty kiss for hours. He speeds up his pace on your clit and you throw your head back in pleasure. He moves his lips to your neck and starts sucking to leave love bites, until the two of you are interrupted.

“Off,” Michael’s frigid voice cuts the sexual tension like a knife. “Off the counter, now,” he orders you.

Michael grabs Derek’s arm and pulls his hand away from you. “Is this your dad?” he laughs as Michael pushes him out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, I am,” Michael answers for you.

You slide off of the kitchen counter and follow them, grabbing Michael’s shoulder and pulling him away from your date. “No, he’s not,” you spit, directing it more at Michael than Derek. “He’s my step dad.” You’re looking at Michael while you speak, his nostrils flare in anger. “And he has no fucking authority over me.”

He pauses for a moment to shoot you a dirty glance. “Yeah?” he asks you with a slight nod. You shrug your shoulders, as you always do when you want to piss him off. Derek looks at the two of you, completely oblivious to the underlying tension. Michael shoves Derek closer to the door and you follow him, trying to stop them. Michael holds a hand up to you. “Stay in the kitchen, y/n, or so help me God.”

You sigh and reluctantly walk back into the kitchen, watching your date being kicked out of the house. Your mom is unloading bags of groceries by the front step as Derek stumbles out of the house, she tries to hold in her laughter and your lips curl into a smile. Your mom walks back to the car when Michael sets his sights on you, your smile fading when you see his outrage. Shit.

“Michael, I can explain,” you start.

He pushes you against the refrigerator door, your back slams into the glacial stainless steel. “No authority?” he fumes. His warm hands reach between your thighs to find your sex, dripping through your lace panties. He starts rubbing your clit in circles, somehow his hands know you better than you know yourself. His talented fingers circle your deprived clit. You grab onto his toned arm and brace yourself against the fridge, feeling your whole body tense up under his touch. It’s everything you’ve been missing and you hate yourself for it. “Are you stupid enough to think he’d touch you like I do? He’d fuck you like I do?” he asks through gritted teeth; his temper seems genuine. You moan at his touch in response and he smacks your cheek, taking your face in his hand. “Answer me.”

“No, daddy,” you respond warmly.

“That’s right,” he coos. You quickly feel yourself coming undone under him. You hear your mom drop off another bag of groceries at the front door step and fight the urge to groan from Michael’s touch, instead trying to breathe through the elation. “Look at the authority I have over you,” he mocks, “you can barely speak.”

Your mouth trembles, searching for a quick and witty response, but he’s right. You’ve got nothing. All you can focus on is your hot, beating core being pillaged by Michael. His hand moves faster and you take in a deeper breath, unable to hide your loud moans any longer. Michael slaps a hand over your mouth and smiles. “You like the way your dad touches you, hm?” he presses, moving even faster over your sensitive clit. You purse your lips together under his hand and nod your head, trying to be as quiet as you can and failing. “Such a good little girl for daddy,” he whispers.

He takes his hand off of your mouth and leans in for a kiss. “Michael!” your mom calls from the front door. Michael doesn’t respond, he keeps his lips locked to yours, his hand rubbing your cunt harder and faster. “I’m thinking we should do a movie night with y/n tonight!” she yells.

“If you’re good tonight, maybe I’ll let you finish,” he mumbles into your lips. Your mom’s footsteps approach the kitchen and Michael pulls away from you, leaving you an unfinished, disheveled mess against the refrigerator. “Yeah, that sounds great,” he says back to her and leaves to help with the groceries.

She walks into the kitchen and her eyebrows furrow when she looks at you. “You okay?” she asks. You breathe in response, still collecting yourself from Michael’s wicked spell. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Go clean yourself up. You look… dirty.”

And you sure felt it, too.

----

You pull your bag of popcorn out of the microwave, sighing when opening it and finding nearly half of the kernels unpopped. Whatever. This night is going to be a travesty anyways, might as well add unpopped popcorn to the list of things that could go wrong.

You saunter into the living room and plop onto the chair opposite of the couch. Your mom and Michael sit on the couch together, practically sitting on top of each other with how close they are. It makes you want to gag. You take a handful of the not-so-popcorn popcorn and stuff it in your mouth as the movie starts up.

Your mom picked the movie. It’s some rom-com type flick that’s not really your style. You scroll through your phone instead of watching the movie and things don’t seem too bad at first. If you had your earbuds, it would be just like any regular night. Until it isn’t.

Your mom and Michael start locking lips on the couch. At some point you swear you saw Michael shoot you a glance while his lips were on your mom’s. You stuff your face with the shitty popcorn, opting to hear your chewing instead of their kisses, but it still doesn’t drown out the sound. You look over at them with disgust, but for some ungodly reason you feel a pang of jealousy in your chest. “Ew, oh my god, can you guys not fuck for like five seconds?” you accidentally blurt out.

Your mom pulls away and stares at you with a dumbfounded look on her face. “Y/n, watch your language,” she scolds.

“Sorry. I meant, can you stop sucking face and being gross while I’m in the room,” you respond sarcastically. Michael presses his lips together, clearly suppressing a smile. He must love seeing you jealous after what happened earlier today.

“If you hate it so much then why don’t you sit here,” your mom says, moving away from Michael and patting the spot in between the two of them.

You sigh, rolling your eyes and standing up. You trudge towards them, reminding yourself that this movie must only have another hour to it and then you can go back to peaceful, Michael-less solitude. You’re about to drop into the seat between them when Michael takes your arm and pulls you towards him. “Come and sit on daddy’s lap,” he says jokingly.

You look at him with wide eyes, then at your mom who found it amusing. You let out an obvious fake laugh, but Michael pulls you so hard that you fall onto his lap. You awkwardly twist around in his lap, trying to look at the television screen. “Aw, see, I knew you two would eventually get along,” your mom teases.

“We get along plenty. Right, y/n?” he asks, bouncing you on his leg.

You feel reduced to an infant. “Mhm,” you respond through your anger. How can Michael do this to you in front of your mom? Half of the time you don’t know what kind of diabolical thoughts run through his head.

He puts his hand on your thigh and you tense under his touch. “Damn, you’re so cold,” he says. You touch your leg, it feels normal to you, but he insists on throwing a blanket over you. You keep the blanket on the lower half of your body and shift around on his lap. Although this gag is amusing to him and your mom, his legs are not as comfortable as a couch cushion would be.

As you’re adjusting yourself, your ass brushes against Michael’s hard, naked cock. When you realize what he’s doing, you subtly look over your shoulder and look down at him. Communicating an are-you-fucking-serious look on your face without saying a word. He grabs onto your hips as if telling you to lift them slightly. You don’t know why, but you follow his orders. You lift yourself up slightly and feel his hands quickly shove your panties to the side and line his head up to your hole. He takes your hips again, guiding you to sit down on his cock.

You sit down on his dick, feeling him slowly stretch your tight walls; even though they’re still raw from your last rendezvous. You mask your gasp with a laugh, pretending that the mediocre joke in the movie was hilarious to you. “Don’t move,” Michael whispers in your ear.

He’s filled your pussy to the hilt, his cock is so big and thick that it almost hurts how delicious he feels inside of you. You shut your eyes, trying to focus on keeping your face neutral and listening to the actors on screen, but your pussy has a mind of its own. You feel your cunt quivering, throbbing, spilling all over of Michael’s dick. You open your eyes again, trying to pay attention to the movie and look down at Michael, who looks as if nothings happening. As if he isn’t balls deep inside of his step daughter.

You keep still. Every muscle in your body is on high alert and stays completely tense. You dig your nails into your thighs, wanting nothing more than fuck this whole situation and bounce on his writhing cock, but instead you follow his instructions and keep still.

A moment washes over you where you feel fine, but it’s immediately consumed by pleasure in an instant, causing you to lean back on Michael. His dick shifts inside of you and you let out a breathy moan. “Mmaaaah-oh, it’s so strange how they keep running into each other, hm?” you try to cover yourself.

Your mom, too enveloped in the movie, just gives you a tired “mhm” in response.

You grab onto Michael’s arm that isn’t visible to your mom and dig your nails into his skin. He looks up at you and you look down at him. He must feel how pent up your pussy’s getting. He must feel your cunt twitch and your walls tightening around his cock. He must feel how sweltering hot and unavailingly wet you’re getting. You’re sure if you were to stand up now, his pants would be soaking in your sinful juices.

He budges under you, his cock moving slightly inside you and a tear runs down your cheek. This nearly sends you over the edge, you open your mouth to scream, but thankfully your sobs get choked at the back of your throat. He grabs onto your arm too, squeezing it lightly for reassurance.

You’re close to coming; if he were to pound himself into you now, only once or twice would do the trick. You let out a breathy sigh, another tear falls down your cheek, but your mom doesn’t notice. She’s too busy munching on your not-so-popcorn popcorn and keeping her eyes glued to the tv screen, watching as the two love interests sit down at a shabby New York restaurant.

“Y/n, you’ll love this part,” she says, not even batting an eye your way.

You’re all startled at the doorbell ringing. Your mom jumps from her seat and pauses the movie. You quickly wipe away any evidence of tears from your face. “Ooh, that must be the pizza! Let me run upstairs and get my purse,” she announces. You and Michael intently watch her skitter out the room.

Michael immediately slams you onto the couch cushions and pounds his throbbing cock into you. “You were driving me fucking crazy,” he sighs. He digs his cock into your tight twat and shoves his fingers in your mouth, to stop your moaning. You suck on his salty fingers, sucking off one of the rings off of his fingers and spitting it onto the floor.

You let out a loud groan and grind your hips against him, entering the most excruciating, yet euphoric, orgasm you’ve ever felt. Michael throws his head back, rolling his eyes in pleasure. “You’re such a dirty fucking slut,” he jeers, “fucking daddy right in front of mommy. You’re so goddamn nasty.”

“I’m your dirty little girl, daddy,” you say in your highest, syrupy voice.

Michael laughs out a wavy breath, “Yeah you are, baby.” He positions himself over you better and climbs on top of you, hammering his hefty cock into your taut slit, nearly splintering you. “Now come for me,” he whispers into your lips, “come for daddy.”

A few small moans leave your lips. You dig your nails into the fabric of his shirt, undoubtedly leaving claw marks along his back. You grind on him harder and he pushes into you deeper. “Come on, baby girl,” he encourages, leaving a weak kiss on your lips. Both of you pant into each other’s mouths, reaching for each other’s lips every few seconds to give a pathetic kiss.

You shut your eyes, another tear falling down your face, but this time it’s from release. “Holy fucking shit!” you scream, Michael slaps his hand over your mouth. You come all over his cock, hard. Harder than you’ve ever come before. Your pussy gushes all over him, all over the couch, all over the blankets. Your walls squeeze him so tight that even he comes from your orgasm, emptying his sticky seed inside of your hot cunt.

Normally you would take a second to absorb what just happened, but you hear the door slam shut and sit up. Michael puts himself away and you sit up on the couch next to him, shutting your legs together to aid the soreness that’s already overtaking your tender pussy.

You’re scrambling to find your phone when Michael take’s your head in his hands and kisses you on the lips. His kiss is deep and passionate, almost like a warm, romantic kiss you’d receive from a lover. It makes your heart skip a beat. He pulls away and your mouth hangs open. You must have a dumb look on your face because Michael smiles at you. “You’re so fucking pretty, baby.”

He slumps back in his seat and your face turns hot. Your mom walks into the living room and sets the pizza down on the table. “It took me forever to find my purse upstairs, I must’ve forgot where I left it,” she sighs. You glance at Michael, suspecting it was his doing and it was his plan all along to fuck you tonight. That bastard.

Your mom sinks into the seat next to you and looks at the two of you. Her attention shifting between you and Michael. “Aw man,” she finally sighs, “I thought you two were gonna sit together the whole time.” She does an exaggerated pouty face and Michael forces a laugh. You just take out your phone and start scrolling through social media, trying to take your mind off of what just happened. “Anyways,” she says and hits a button on the remote, “back to the movie.”

[purplesurveys]

1262

o1. With which one of your friends do you spend the most time? With which friend do you spend the least amount of time? Would you like to change this in any way? I don’t really get to...spend time with my friends, in that sense. For very obvious reasons. But I talk to Angela and Reena the most. Andi and I talk a lot too, but not everyday. 

Among my friends, I probably talk to my college group the least these days, but that’s mostly because 2/3 of them are pursuing law school, and the 1/3 have jobs and are as busy as I am. We’re still as tight as ever and our group chat becomes active at least once a week.

o2. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Illinois, Louisiana, New York, Utah. Countries: Malta, Switzerland, Thailand, South Korea.

o3. If you have one, how often do you watch your favorite television show? How long has this show been your favorite? I’m not a big TV person, tbh. The closest thing to my favorite would be Friends, which I rewatch at least one episode of once a month though I used to watch it FAR more often than that, hahaha. I think I first hooked to it...I wanna say 2018?Or 2019. Sometime in between those years. o4. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? No. He’s allowed to have girl friends. The only reason it bothered me when it was Gabie was because we were both aware that her guy friends were genuinely into her. I never channeled my annoyance towards her though; I was definitely more pissed off at those guys for not learning how to back off when needed.

o5. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? We don’t have snow, but our equivalent would be days off school because of a typhoon. Anyway, I just spent them lounging around and mostly watching stuff on YouTube. In college I was a bit more diligent and would use the extra time to catch up on readings.

o6. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? Not that I am aware of. I probably wouldn’t befriend someone who did if we weren’t already close, because there’s no telling what kind of influence they would be on me.

o7. When was the last time that you were afraid for your life? Did this incident change you in any way? When I was really sick back in May. Not really, I just wanted to recover as quickly as possible.

o8. Do you enjoy taking pictures? Is it just for fun, or do you make an attempt at actual photography? I didn’t then, but it’s something I’m trying to do more often now. I’ve realized I have very few souvenirs from the last few years because I barely took photos then, so it sucks not being able to revisit memories and ending up forgetting others completely. I definitely don’t plan to take it so far as taking photography lessons; taking pictures from my own perspective and in my own style suffices.

o9. Have you ever had low self-esteem? How is your self-esteem now? Yeah, sure. I had a recent phase of it because of the breakup, but I’ve recovered from it. My self-esteem is a lot healthier and more stable these days.

o1o. When you see someone sickly-thin, what is your first thought? Nothing for the most part, but I would obviously be concerned if that person was starting to show worrying signs of malnutrition. Idrk what you mean by sickly-thin.

o11. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Not really, only because I’ve rarely had to go there.

o12. What did you dress up as the last time you went Trick-or-Treating? Who went with you? I went as Sofie, my old best friend from high school.

o13. What is one thing you miss most from your childhood? What do you miss the least? The part about having less responsibilities and more time to just have fun and do whatever I want. But I didn’t really have a picture-perfect childhood either, so my list of things I don’t miss for sure trumps the list of stuff I do miss.

o14. What would be the biggest challenge involved in raising a child at your age? How to send them to a good school because I don’t make nearly enough to afford tuition for another person.

o15. If you happened to get pregnant before you were ready for children, how would you cope? Do you think your parents would support you and help you out? I don’t know, honestly; and the thought kind of scares me. I know my parents wouldn’t provide support whatsoever, so I’d have to claw my way to find it from other people who would be willing. I’d probably need to take an extra job to earn enough money to support us both.

o16. Have you ever had unprotected sex? What would you tell a young teen thinking about having unprotected sex? Yeah, but I was also with a girl, so...idk. I don’t have a lot of sexual experience either so I dunno what sort of advice to tell a teen other than ‘don’t do it,’ lmao.

o17. What are some gender double-standards anger you? All of them. < Yes.

o18. Other than the usual qualities (honesty, respect, etc), what are some attributes you want your BF/GF to possess? Patience in the sense that I tend to be sensitive, so if they crack a joke that I ended up getting hurt or offended by, or if I get triggered by something minor that would otherwise be normal for anyone else, I hope they are patient enough to ride the wave out with me. I didn’t experience that with my past partner, and was often told to just stop being sensitive.

o19. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? No, because doing so is detrimental to my well-being.

o2o. Five years ago, what was the most important thing in your life? How about the most important person? My relationship, barf. Gabie, another barf.

21. How would you describe your sexuality? Have you ever wondered whether or not you might be homo/bisexual? I’ve stopped caring about it. I say asexual to people just so I have an answer to say.

o22. Do you think that homosexual couples should be able to raise or adopt children? Why or why not? Yeah...because I don’t see why they can’t be granted that right?

o23. Think of your worst fear. What would you do if you were confronted with it right now? Hyperventilate.

o24. If you were to become a vegetarian, what meat-product would you miss the most? Have you ever been or wanted to be a vegetarian? Chicken wings or sandwiches. I’ve thought about it before, yes. It’s too expensive a lifestyle where I live, though.

o25. Do you think that someone’s sexuality is something that they can control? No.

o26. What do you like most about your favorite animal? They’re very friendly and always down to play. :)

o27. What is your favorite way to eat your favorite food? How often do you eat your favorite food item? Eating burgers by hand is always the best. I have one maybe once a month.

o28. What is something you are craving? Will this craving be satisfied? KFC’S DOUBLE DOWN. I’ll get one next week, when I get my next pay lol. The rest of my budget this week is already allotted for my mom’s birthday/JK’s belated birthday dinner tomorrow.

o29. What is the largest number of texts you have sent in a day? Do you often text this much? Ooooh, I dunno. Maybe around 200-300 in a day? My ex and I primarily communicated through text whenever we weren’t physically together, which was often as we were both students in different schools.

o3o. Do you like the holiday season? Why or why not? What could be better about it? Some parts of it I like, some parts of it I don’t. The latter mostly stems from insecurities I will feel from seeing other families on social media, who always seem to be having a better and fancier time than I am. It’s why I usually deactivate during Christmas so I don’t get to see posts that can affect my disposition.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Drop the Evie essay you wrote

okay so first of all it wasn’t really an essay the way some of my ramblings are, more like just me writing down all of my thoughts in a vaguely coherent manner bc my brain was running too fast to really organize it 

and second of all, just to be on the safe side, these are the potential trigger warnings that I would give for the essay — I don’t know if they all actually come up or not, but better safe than sorry, so proceed with caution!

Potential TWs: being outed, parental neglect, character death (canon), suicide attempts (semi-canon), eating disorders, lots of mental health issues, and lots of general trauma and feelings of never being good enough, and canon typical references to drinking/drugs/partying/etc

so just like a fun fact, Evie’s vitamin water of choice is zero sugar strawberry lemonade and yes i spent too long reading reviews on different flavours all because gossip girl did an entire product placement episode

anyways now onto real thoughts let’s go lesbians let’s go

so okay evie has a... very negative experience with Lily’s various boyfriends and husbands.  When Evie was younger she was always hopeful that this time would be different, that they’d be a family, that her mom would actually stick around, and every single time she’s been let down and left heartbroken.  When her mom starts dating Bart, Evie is very against it but she just can’t be bothered to even try to talk to Lily — Lily will date him, maybe get married, play house, abandon her children, then get divorced, and the cycle will repeat, and Lily will never give a shit about how her children feel about it.  Bart is just the latest rich man for Lily to set her sights on.  Given the overall shittiness of most of Lily’s exes, Evie had figured she would be a lot more vocally against Lily dating again, but Bart... 

Bart himself may terrify Evie, but Evie’s unwavering faith that Chuck will always protect her outweighs that fear, and Evie has long since given up on her mom caring about her opinions so she just takes comfort in the fact that Chuck will be there and tries to just ignore the rest — and the fact that Bart is pretty much always away does help with that.  That being said, she was very distraught when Bart spends season 1 christmas with them, but then Bart’s “present” for her was flying Chuck home for a few days because Lily mentioned that Eric was teasing Evie about being excited about having Chuck as a brother, and he's trying to semi-win over the kids (aka bribe them into accepting him as Lily’s fiancé)

Evie speaks several languages!  She started learning French and Spanish at a very young age, and then picked more up from Lily’s various husbands.  She’s not fluent in all of them but she can hold conversations in eight languages — and four of them were from Lily’s boyfriends (and italian was half pieced together from French and Spanish), and she just keeps learning more because she tries to keep herself too busy to think at any given moment

Rufus is her favourite step-dad by far, but Chuck is her favourite step-sibling (and second favourite sibling, after Eric).  That being said, Bart was surprisingly decent to her because even he quickly figured out that Evie has the innate ability to get Chuck to do basically anything, and he wanted her on his side, only he underestimated how much Evie hates him for treating Chuck like shit — as she says in 2x07, “if you want us to be a family, you should learn how to be a dad”

Evie has a bit of a thing for stealing coats lmao — it’s not unusual to find her stealing Chuck, Eric, Theo, or even Nate’s jackets when she gets cold or starts feeling particularly self conscious.  At the housewarming party she actually gets to bothered by all the media watching her constantly that Chuck goes and gets her one of his blazers to replace the cropped one she was wearing, and she immediately feels a bit more at east

Evie is a jock like it’s understated but she’s on multiple sports teams at school and plays outside of school too — she’s also in dance classes several times a week, along with private vocal lessons, and being part of every theatre production at Constance Billard (musicals and plays), and is on the yearbook committee.  Basically, Evie needs a fucking nap, and with a lot of pushing from Chuck and Eric and Theo (to balance out Blair “do absolutely everything in the name of Yale” Waldorf) she does eventually ease up on her extra-curriculars

She holds far too much power in the Constance-St Jude hierarchy.  She’s a freshman, but it’s well known that Evie is completely untouchable.  Some people (cough Jenny) might try to cross Blair, but no one is stupid enough to go after Evie — she’s not just Blair’s protégée, she’s also under Chuck’s protection.  And when Jenny does try to cross her in season 3 (physical and emotional bullshit, public humiliation, telling the entire school she’d tried to kill herself and had been at Ostroff not “in florida”), well... she learns that even being family won’t stop her entire life from being destroyed

Speaking of Jenny... that’s a very messy relationship — I want to like Jenny, I really do, but I just... don’t so far.  They’re a very sweet relationship early on, neither of them had dated before and they were just really smitten with each other and things were good.  There were definitely some issues because of the Jenny-Blair war, but they’d been okay — or so Evie had thought, until Jenny dumped her by means of introducing everyone to her new boyfriend, Asher.  Then of course there’s the party and Jenny outing her, and then just not talking to her for months until she needs something from them (an in to the White Party).  Eric manages to convince Evie to play nice, but he does so under the impression that Jenny had apologized to Evie — he didn’t know she’d only apologized to him.  Eventually Jenny does apologize and Evie tries to forgive her, and she keeps giving Jenny more and more second chances (especially once they become step sisters), but Jenny really just keeps hurting Evie to get on top because with Blair gone, Evie immediately becomes the new queen, and Jenny cares more about being queen than being nice.  Little does she realize that part of why Evie became queen with no challenge is because she’s nice.

and regarding Evie’s other relationships... so serena was a really good big sister when Eric & Evie were kids — Blair was the responsible sister and Serena was the fun sister, but it was a good balance and it worked.  But when the twins were around eleven and Serena was around 13, she became besties with Georgina Sparks, and everything went to shit.  Serena started getting into partying and drinking and drugs and became just as flighty and unreliable as Lily, which takes a significant toll on the twins’ mental health — side note, one of their therapists at the Ostroff Centre believes that their significant codependency stems from the abandonment issues they have as a result of Lily and Serena just up and leaving them whenever anything “better” comes along.

And unfortunately for the twins, this was around the same time (grade 6) that Theo got sent to boarding school, so really they lost both their sister and their best friend at the same time, and Theo leaving also messed up the overall group dynamics and they half lost Nate too — he was still in their lives but he went from being the dad to Blair’s mom to being more of a big brother, and there was this sort of hole that didn’t get filled until a couple of years later.

And of course, a lot of it then fell to Blair to try to fill that hole and the holes left by Serena and Lily and went from being sort of “mom friend big sister” to “literally the closest thing we have to a mom”, which is also just a lot of pressure for a thirteen year old girl and part of why Blair and Chuck got a lot closer after he ended up becoming their dad was because she finally had someone that she could talk to too.

Also like full disclosure, Chuck never really intended to become their dad.  He started off as a reluctant big brother because he was Nate’s best friend and Nate was the dad friend when they were younger, and Evie just kind of decided that she loved him and like no one can argue with Evie so all of a sudden he was part of the family.  He doesn’t really become dad until the van der Woodsens move into the hotel because suddenly Eric and Evie are just always there, and he doesn’t even realize it until months later, after Serena is gone and he realizes that he’s been skipping parties to like play mario kart and shit with the twins and Blair is just like “lmao yeah buddy you’re the last one to get this memo”

and then there’s this list that I made of the NJBC’s roles in raising the twins and theo back when they were younger

Blair: holds their hands to cross the street, teaches them not to talk to people who wear sneakers or to strangers, teaches them how to dress themselves like respectable people, makes them finish their homework before watching tv, hates all of their nannies and only trusts dorota to take care of them Nate: teaches them to tie their laces and their ties, plays video games and sports with them, helps them with homework and doesn't get impatient when they struggle, lets them use his notebooks to draw in when they're bored Chuck: will destroy anyone who hurts them, teaches them street smarts and how to tell when someone is lying, is the one who lets them do dumb and reckless things because he'd rather they do them when he's there to get in trouble, still refuses to believe that they know what sex is Serena: reminded them that it's okay to have fun and draw outside the lines, stood up for them when lily was being a shit mom and always tried to protect them from the worst of her neglect, came up with games to play when they were sad to take their minds off whatever is upsetting them

And Theo!!!!!!  Theo has been their best friend for their entire lives!  They’ve known him since they were babies and the three of them have always been inseparable!  Like highkey they were just a more functional NJBC lmao, and we love them for it!  Theo getting sent to boarding school was really hard on all three of them but they stayed in constant contact and whenever Theo is back in the city, it’s almost impossible to see them not together.  Theo does know that they were in the Centre, so once he’s back full time, he’s spending as much time visiting them as he can!  Even when Eric and Theo are dating (and later when Evie and Theo are dating), the group dynamics really never change!  It’s still always the three of them, and sometimes Jenny in s1, they’re still each other’s family, and they’re still just a bit too interdependent to be entirely healthy (it’s the trauma and neglectful parents)

on a slightly related note, neither of the twins drink anything other than champagne and sometimes wine, and neither of them touch drugs at all, and it’s entirely because of Serena.  They’ve both seen how much she’s changed since she got into that scene, and especially since ‘liking partying’ turned into ‘alcohol addiction’, and they’re both too afraid of ending up like that to even take the risk.  It’s something that definitely sets them apart from pretty much any of their peers, but they’ve gotten very good at just laughing it off with a “hey, I just don’t want to end up on Gossip Girl tomorrow” which people generally accept

(that being said, Evie did smoke for a while pre-canon bc cigarettes curb hunger, but she hasn’t smoked at all since ending up in the Centre, and once she’s out too many people have an eye on her for her to even try, and she does want to stop)

(TW ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, fairly detailed discussion) so okay the breaking point for the twins... lily had just gone awol again and Blair was away visiting her dad and evie was at the archibalds’ house hanging out with theo, who was home for a weekend, and eric didn’t want to call anyone because lily’s disappearance had left him in a spiral of feeling annoying and like people didn’t really want him in their lives and there wasn’t a specific trigger but instead of the spiral slowing down or evie/chuck/blair being able to pull him out of it, it just kept getting worse until he was slitting his wrist in the bathroom — only Evie had just gotten home and when he didn’t reply to her calling his name, she got freaked out and started looking for him and when she saw him, she just... couldn’t deal.  She called 911 for eric but then she was just in the bathroom and covered in his blood and she didn’t know what to do and she needed to calm down so she grabbed a bottle of valium that she thinks was Lily’s but instead of just taking one pill she ended up taking all of them and downing them with a bottle of vodka serena had hidden — once she realized what she’d done she called Chuck and basically just said “I think I fucked up” and Chuck freaks out (understandably) and rushes to their suite and gets there basically just in time to see both of them being loaded into an ambulance; he claims he’s their brother and rides with them to the hospital where he calls blair, and arranges for his jet to pick her up asap, and then tries (unsuccessfully) to get in touch with lily

[dongboner2999]

Strangers ch. 41

Two weeks after finding the photo, you’re not doing well. Yoongi’s determined to change that. 

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Actress!Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Genre: fluff, angst, idk anymore?

|mlist|

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“Y/n, you do have to go to class.”

You gulp. You’ve been dreading this call- and Yoongi is staring at you. “I know, Mom.”

Your mom sighs over the phone. “Are you planning on dropping out? You’re still registered for classes.”

You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, refusing to look at the other person in the room. Yoongi’s sitting quietly, waiting for you to finish your call. “I-I’m not dropping out!”

“When I agreed to let you go to Seoul Arts, it was with the promise that you’d keep up your grades and partially support yourself with a job.” Your mother’s tone is sharp. “And, Y/n. Not or.”

You bite your lip, your hand trembling to the point where you almost lose your grip on the phone. “I’m acting- I’m making money.”

“For now. How far can you go without a degree?”

You inhale sharply. You can feel that familiar tightness spread throughout your chest. “Yes, Mom.”

“Oh, here you go again. Don’t ‘yes, mom’ me. I can’t fix your life for you, Y/n. You’re lucky I’m friends with the dean’s friend’s boyfriend’s sister. How else would I have found out you haven’t been to class in almost two weeks? It’s not like you would talk to me about these things.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“I’m serious, Y/n. I even tried calling Lisa to ask what was up with you, since you never answer my calls.”

Lisa. Your throat feels tight, and suddenly you can’t breathe. Luckily, your mother doesn’t notice your silence:

“I mean, she didn’t answer, but still! What about your exams, Y/n? You’re going to have to repeat the year! You might as well just come home.”

Your eye twitches at her words. “No.” You’re not going to go home– not now, not ever, and especially not while Lisa’s still missing. 

You hear her click her tongue over the phone. It’s a sound more familiar to you than your own name. “Can you at least tell me why you haven’t been going to classes?”

You look up and meet Yoongi’s eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“I’m sure it is,” your mom says huffily, and you fight the sudden urge to hang up. “Well, that won’t do. I’m cutting you off.”

You blink hard, your throat dry. “What?” Surely it’s an empty threat– even with Moon Over the Sea, you can’t afford rent and the Seoul Arts tuition on your own. Your mother has to know that. “Mom, you can’t–” Yoongi must hear the anxiety in your voice because he catches your eye, asking a silent question.

“I can and I will, Y/n. Because this is what you wanted, right? You’ve done nothing but push me away.”

You can feel that yes, Mom on the tip of your tongue. And yet… “Because you were suffocating me!” You explode. “God, you’re even cutting me off just to control me, ‘cause you want me to crawl back home and admit I need you. You know what, Mom? You have the worst timing. Cut me off– maybe I will drop out, but I’m not coming home. I have bigger things to worry about.”

“Y/n L/n–” But you don’t hear the rest of her words, because you hang up with as much force as you can deliver to a touchscreen. Despite the blanket wrapped around your shoulders and your space heater on full blast, you feel the cold in your bones, and the muted panic that accompanies the familiar sensation.

“Y/n?” Yoongi says gently, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you whisper, curling up on your pillows.

“I wasn’t going to ask. I was just hoping you’d eat something.” He motions at the takeout he brought over hours ago, and which you��ve left untouched. You’ve barely moved at all, and if you weren’t such good friends with Yoongi you’d feel embarrassed for him to see you in this state.

Despite the fact that you’ve eaten nothing today, your stomach churns at the thought of putting the food in your mouth. “I’m not hungry.” 

Yoongi sighs, pursing his lips. “Okay. Want to go outside?”

“It’s late.”

“That’s never stopped us.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“You haven’t been in the mood for more than a week.”

“I-” your head drops to rest on your knees. “She’s still missing.”

“I know, Y/n.” Yoongi reaches out gently, as though you’re a frightened deer, and begins rubbing calming circles on your back. “But living like this… you’re not helping anyone.”

You feel tears filling your eyes. “I’m not helping anyways. She’s missing, and I’m useless.”

“Thanks for bringing this in, Miss L/n,” Detective Kang said, sliding Lisa’s laptop into a labelled evidence bag. You felt a rush of guilt. Did it count as obstruction of justice when you were only trying to find out what happened? Yoongi had copied the photo to his phone- was that breaking the law? “So, has Lisa tried to contact you again?”

You shook your head. “Radio silence. I’ve tried calling and texting dozens of times– nothing’s getting through.”

“Okay. Please let me know if you hear anything from her. Adults aren’t considered as high-priority as missing minors, but…” Detective Kang stared intensely into the distance. “We’ll find your friend.” He turned away with the laptop under his arm, and at that moment you spoke up.

“There’s something else.” What was the redheaded girl who pushed you into the river doing on Lisa’s laptop? If she knew Lisa was connected to you… it meant that your best friend could be in real trouble.

Detective Kang was eyeing you curiously. “Go ahead.”

But if it turned out to be nothing… you would be in trouble for messing with her computer. And– shit– so would Yoongi. “Nothing. Slip of the tongue.”

“Alright. Ms. L/n, I’m sure Lisa is safe. The most important thing is that you leave this to the professionals.”

And now, two weeks after turning the laptop in, there’s been no word from Lisa or Detective Kang. After unlocking Lisa’s computer during that movie night, you began seeing the redheaded stranger around every corner, and leaving your apartment has become more and more difficult; what if she finds you and tries to finish what she started? All you know is that Lisa and the redhead are connected, which puts both you and your best friend in danger. After all, the first time the stranger attacked you was before you and Yoongi’s fake relationship. Who knows what she’d do now? 

You’ve stopped attending classes altogether– leading to the argument with your mother– and you know you should return, but you can’t bear to go back to the place where you and Lisa spent so much time together. You haven’t even begun looking for a new manager. 

“Want to watch a movie?” Yoongi says eventually, clearly noticing you’ve gotten lost in your thoughts again. 

“I’m good.” You rub your eyes, suddenly exhausted. “You should go home, Yoongs.” If your mother really has cut you off, you’ve got a lot to think about– and some choices to make. For some reason, Yoongi remains motionless.

“Do you remember the last time you didn’t take care of yourself, Y/n? You ended up in the hospital.”

His words send you tumbling back to the night, that night when you fainted after kissing him. The boys had visited you, and then Lisa stopped by, and then you were discharged, and… 

“We wanted to deliver a message,” the redhead had said. “A message from the rest of us: you’re not welcome.”

And the push, the water, the cold, the blood, the cold, and Yoongi… 

“Y/n!” You’re jerked back to the present when you feel a callused hand rest on your own. “Hey, take a breath. You’re safe.”

Are you?

Yoongi continues. “I just meant I was worried about you, dork. You’re not eating. I don’t want you to pass out again.”

You look at Yoongi, and you can’t help but long for the relaxed days before, well, everything. Before Lisa disappeared. Before you got messed up in the head. Before Twitter decided it wanted your blood. When you and Yoongi could be yourselves and enjoy your friendship without so many invisible barriers.

Although before… you admit to yourself, I was lying to him. Now you’ve told him the truth, and everything’s gone wrong.

“I wish…” You slump forward to rest your forehead on his shoulder. Even though you haven’t left your bed today, your limbs feel drained of energy. But Yoongi’s warm, and he smells like cinnamon. “I wish we could go back.”

“Oh, Y/n-ie.” Yoongi resumes rubbing your back, his hands and voice impossibly gentle. “I wish I could take your pain away.”

“No, I-” you swallow thickly. “You’ve done so much for me, Yoongs. If only I were stronger.”

“After everything you’ve been through, the fact that you’re still here makes you stronger than I’ll ever be.” He chuckles as though he’s touched on some inside joke. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Just reminds me of some lyrics I’m writing. I think you’ll like-” Yoongi’s interrupted by his buzzing phone on your covers. He glances at the screen briefly, then does a double take, his eyes widening. “Ah- I gotta go.”

“O-Oh.” You watch as he stands quickly, nearly knocking your curled-up form over. “Is everything alright?”

“Yep.” Yoongi pauses. “Just a BTS meeting. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Please eat something.”

You bite your lip. You know his work is important, and you can barely believe he’s even managed to spend this much time with you when he’s so busy being a part of the biggest band in the world. Still, to be alone again in such a silent world… You grit your teeth and force a smile in response to his hurried farewell. The door clicks shut behind him and before long, your only companions are the yet-unending stream of notifications. They’ve gotten better, but you’ve long since accepted your status as ARMY villain:

@k-news: according to #MOTS costar @cutie-jeongyeon, @yourname has missed three days of filming. Trouble in paradise for #YoongiAndYn?

@superarmylockXO: torn between wanting yoongi to be happy and wanting to protect him from @yourname hzksdfkskdf #YoongiAndYn

@jinswitchybitch: why is anyone still hating @yourname lmao even @captainkookie21 left her alone so let them date #IdolsArePeopleToo

@namtiddieswhore: I’ve stayed out of the #YoongiAndYn discourse so far but no one can tell me @yourname is not totally toxic for #SUGA! She’s using him for fame I want to vomit :,( still excited for #MOTS tho

You’re too tired to summon the anger that you used to respond to that hater on the last day you saw Lisa, the anger that nearly led you to hit Jeongyeon. You’re too tired to feel anything except cold. And when your eyes at last flutter closed, your dreams are filled with swishes of dyed red hair, rushing water, and Lisa’s whispers.

~~~

Yoongi has barely stepped out of Y/n’s apartment before he presses his phone to his ear. “Hey.”

The reedy voice of an old friend makes him smile. “Hey yourself, Gloss.”

“You know that’s not my name anymore, D.” Yoongi chuckles as he walks out of the front door of Y/n’s apartment complex, spotting the car already running on the darkened street. He slides into the car and the chauffeur nods at him, waiting for a direction.

“Yeah, as if I’m gonna call you Suga.”

“Yo, you said you got what I needed?” Yoongi asks D. 

“Hell yeah. Man, it’s been ages since I got to do shit like this, thanks for the call.”

“Thank you, dude. I’ll send the money to your account tonight. What’s my location?”

D tells Yoongi the address he’s been waiting for, and the chauffeur pulls away from the curb. “Gloss, bro, why’d you want to know? Who’re you fucking around with?”

“Nothing important… but I’ll throw in an extra five hundred if you can track a phone number for me.”

“Sheesh, man, whatever you want. I remember when you didn’t even have fifty to throw around, let alone five hundred.”

Yoongi smiles. “I’m the same kid from Daegu, D.”

“I know that… how about the rest of the world?”

“Text me when you’ve got what I need. I’ll send you the number.”

It’s nearing midnight by the time Yoongi tells the driver to stop, about a block away from his goal. The address is close enough to the edge of Seoul that single-family homes have begun taking over apartment buildings. He pulls a mask over his nose and mouth, his glasses and hat completing the incognito look. 

“Get ready to leave as soon as I come out,” he instructs the driver. “And if I’m not back in half an hour, call the bodyguards to come find me.”

The driver nods affirmative, and Yoongi takes a deep breath. He has to do this- for Y/n. The couple minutes he takes to walk from the car to the front door are all he needs to reassure himself of that. He knocks three times on the door, checking that the address is the same. 

The door at last swings open, and a sleepy voice rings out. “The fuck…? It’s so late!”

Yoongi breathes a sigh of relief. The girl who answered the door matches the photo on his phone. Dyed-red hair, thin lips, double eyelids. So it must be…

“Hello.” Yoongi places a heavy hand on the door to keep the girl from closing it on him. “Nice hair. You must be Seoyeon… and I think it’s time we chat about a mutual friend.”

[siriuslyblack12]

high school paracosm

this might be the start of a mini-series where i share little bits and pieces from my paracosms/paras out of all of my current paracosms, this has the least world-building yet the most character development. it’s my second-oldest and definitely has a special place in my heart (i would literally die for any one of these characters lmaooo). it’s essentially about a group of british high school students dealing with all kinds of angst, drama and a fair amount of happiness.  i’m very scared to post this so we’ll see how it goes.

vanessa pierre

cis woman

bisexual disaster

dating cass johnson 

scouse

bottom set

she’s a natural ginger but dyes it black. blue eyes. white.

funniest person you’ll ever meet

shitty home life (to be specific, her dad left and she hasn’t seen him in years and her mum is addicted to alcohol and drugs. she tries to help her mum, but a lot of the time she has to sleep at cass or ruby’s house, or in the worst circumstances on the street.)

because of this, she always gives spare change or food to homeless people even if she didn’t have much to begin with.

her home did get better after her mum’s new boyfriend daniel checked her into rehab and group therapy to get help. everyone’s trying their best to make it work.

dyes her own hair. it’s part of her aesthetic.

friendship wise, she is closest to ruby. although she loves cass more than she loves herself.

cass johnson

non-binary 

attracted to women but doesn’t really label it.

dating vanessa pierre

top set

light brown hair with an undercut. brown eyes. mixed race.

the literal kindest, most caring and least judgemental

has a good relationship with their parents and 12 year old sister violet who are all very supportive of anything they do. definitely the type of family to  buy out the front row of every concert cass is in.

their biggest passion is musical theatre. a very talented actor and singer, their most notable role being ‘belle’ in the school production of ‘beauty and the beast’ that they also directed.

animals are also another big interest. when they get out of school they want to become a vet to help and care for all kinds of animals, and throughout high school donates any spare change to animal charities.

they’re pretty close with everyone, but particularly ezra and jonah

quite insecure about their body, but masks it with positivity and kindness. 

makes everyone around them happy.

ruby diaz

cis woman

straight and a very big ally

dated jonah blue for a year or so, but currently single

top set, very much what people would label a ‘tryhard’, ‘sweat’ or a ‘nerd’

dark curly hair. freckles. latina.

twin sister of asher diaz

she’s a very empathetic person, more often than not putting everyone else’s needs above her own. this could be to her detriment, but she’s making an effort to balance her own mental health

divorced parents, but she stays positive. goes to her dad’s house on weekends.

she likes to think she doesn’t care, but at heart she’s a hopeless romantic. the biggest shipper of every couple in the school, but particularly her brother asher and cole.

speaking of her brother, it’s one of those dynamics where they play fight constantly but would certainly die for the other

the cutest pet dog lmao

she’s a very outspoken activist, often lecturing her mum and older family members about their implicit biases

closest to vanessa and asher

asher diaz

cis man

gay

dating cole harrison-singh

middle set

dark hair. blue or brown eyes. latino.

twin brother of ruby diaz

coming out was really hard for him, as it is for a lot of queer people. he hated the fact that everyone made it such a big deal, and that they treated it as this big thing even though he’d been feeling this way for as long as he can remember

plays guitar and sings quite well, in the school band

his relationship with cole is tentative, but once they figure out their dynamic they’re extremely cute. we love to see it.

he was more affected by the divorce than his sister, and now feels quite protective over her as a sort of father figure that they no longer really have. definitely some issues he needs to work on.

very athletic

him and ezra are best friend goals, and he’s also obviously close to ruby

jonah blue

cis man

pansexual

dated ruby diaz, but currently dating erin saeli

top set, but one of those people really talented people that can get good grades without breaking a sweat

shaved head. brown eyes. darkskin black man.

his main hobby is swimming and he’s on an elite team that probably trains 6 or 7 times a week. sometimes he finds it hard to juggle that and school and a social life but he could never give it up

art is his hidden talent. mainly because he keeps it personal, but also because no one really expected someone as confident and outgoing as him to enjoy drawing and painting.

he and ruby stayed really good friends even after their breakup

if anything it made them closer 

closest to cass

ezra cheung

trans man

aro/ace

single

bottom set

dark hair. blue eyes. chinese.

he first figured out he was aro/ace when he was about 14/15 and everyone around him started to feel more comfortable in their own sexualities. his friends would talk to him about crushes and he’d just smile and nod.

mental health is something he really struggles with. fitting his life around bad days and episodes is a chore in and of it’s own. 

but he’s trying his best to get the help he needs and reach out to his friends whenever he needs someone to talk to.

would punch transphobes except he’s too nice

closest to asher and cass. him and cass bond over gender and cute kittens.

minor paras:

cole harrison-singh

cis man

gay

dating asher diaz

top set

brown hair. blue eyes. white.

adopted by lesbian mums, lily harrison and naveena singh. these two are an absolute power couple

he and asher met through the school band and he’s a very skilled piano player. despite this, he gets very shy when it comes to performing in front of other people so doesn’t do it often.

experiments with genderless clothing and makeup

just an all around good person

martha quinn

cis woman

straight

single

top set

ginger!! blue eyes and lots of freckles. white.

a teahcer’s pet to her core, would sell anyone out for validation (honestly me too)

doesn’t get along well with any of the other paras, but does warm up to them and make an effort to be a better person eventually. character development

crushed on jonah when he first moved to the school but got over it quite quickly

erin polka

cis woman

bisexual

dating jonah blue

middle set

long dark hair. thai.

works at mcdonalds part time

a girly-girl who is no less amazing and strong than the other women (i will have no internalised misogyny anywhere near me thank you very much)

big introvert. when she does speak or show passion in something you know it’s well thought out and communicated.

very very pretty. if she was real i would date her.

[mingtiddies]

prince!soonyoung

genre: fluff, a little funny if you squint your eyes, prince au

word count: 1918

warnings: suggestive, but it’s nothing explicit

a/n: here i come with yet another prince au, one of my favorites bc of how the story goes although i still think it could be a lot better

with everything that’s going on these i also wanna remind everyone to always wash your hands thoroughly, stay home and/only go out when it’s necessary, if you can’t stay home because of your job, please be extra careful, protect yourselves and those around you 💖

● prince soonyoung

● he was living his best life

● bothering prince jihoon every other day

● also to see jihoon’s law adviser

● sometimes going to see prince seungkwan and prince seokmin

● almost never in his own kingdom

● “have you seen the prince?” all over the palace

● all the princes around him seemed to be forced into marriage but ended up finding someone they loved to marry

● prince soonyoung had never thought about his future as a husband and king, seeing as his parents never mentioned a bride to him

● he had never even heard the staff whisper about it

● usually if there was something important to know he could easily find out through the staff’s incessant gossiping

● he had found out about some of his surprises this way

● but nothing ever regarding his non-existent love life

● except for some people saying he was old enough to find himself a bride

● (he didn’t really see the point of it since he wouldn’t be crowned king until his father died, and thank god, his father was very much healthy)

● so imagine his surprise

● when he came home one day from prince jihoon’s kingdom and found you

● he wondered who you were

● you couldn’t be staff because you dressed too nicely

● and you couldn’t be daughter of a duke or of an official because of the colors you wore

● “why is it so hard for your staff to keep you in place?”

● “you really shouldn’t be going around so much in other princes’ kingdoms”

● “a princess?”

● he thought that one out loud

● you smiled and nodded, “princess y/n”

● but why tf was a princess in his palace

● “we should dive straight into wedding preparations, we don’t have much time”

● WEDDING????

● prince soonyoung had thought before about how he would react when his parents told him that it was time for him to find someone to marry

● whether they’d give him a choice of bride, or just force someone on him

● "a wedding? when????"

● "next week"

● what he most definitely did not expect was to find out he was getting married within days of meeting his bride

● ran to find his parents for an explanation

● they didn’t have one

● the king and queen encouraged him to spend all of his free time with you to get to know you

● which was an epic failure

● seeing as our dearest prince soonyoung liked to spent his time out of his own kingdom

● you did the only thing you could do and followed him everywhere to try

● if you can’t beat em, join em, they said

● you ended up leaving the entirety of the wedding preparations to the staff so you could follow soonyoung and try to get to know him as much as you could

● which, wasn’t difficult at all, he seemed comfortable around you and had opened up to you pretty quickly

● “shouldn’t we have gone on dates before getting married?”

● loved to joke around

● it was harmless and cute

● somehow, sometime before the wedding, he had become so much more open to you that you felt like you’d known each other for more than 5 days lmao

● soonyoung was a simple man

● the fact that you followed him everywhere, yet gave him space, kinda made his heart go wild

● he thought it was cute that you tried so hard to convince him to stay home, even though you were with him in another kingdom

● also found it funny because it always failed

● luckily for you when they said you’d get married in 7 days after meeting each other, it meant the festivities would start there

● so like day 1 for guests to arrive

● some princes from the closest kingdoms were invited and they were so shocked that soonyoung was gonna get married all of a sudden lmao

● day 2 was for the press conference, to announce the engagement and marriage

● day 3 was for the engagement party

● which was so weird for both of you because suddenly you were engaged and it felt more real than it did at first

● at some point soonyoung had to stay in place

● day 4 was for the rest of the royal guests to arrive while the royal families had a feast for dinner

● and then came the wedding

● soonyoung was very calm about this

● he trusted his parents to have chosen the right fit for him and the kingdom

● and you had grown on him quite fast

● you had your first official kiss at the wedding

● which made things so awkward for both of you

● almost like best friends suddenly having to kiss and making the friendship awkward

● except you had known each other for like less than two weeks

● but if only that was the worst of it lmao

● because after the part where everyone’s like wooo newly weds

● his parents tell you that you have to consume the marriage

● like right away

● otherwise it gives a timetable to get the marriage annulled and well

● the goal here is for you to stay married

● “wait what?”

● “WHY HASN’T ANYONE TOLD ME THIS? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?”

● it’s a bit hush-hush in the family, only the royal family knows about it

● so like, it’s not even public knowledge

● so now things are even more awkward than they were after the kiss

● because you now have to have sex with your husband whom you have met like 12 days ago

● cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

● the actual worst part of it is having to have someone make sure the two of you consume your marriage

● which used to be done by someone peeping

● but now it’s a medical procedure after

● and then of course you have to go back to the after party

● prince soonyoung tried his best to make things light hearted

● and fun

● despite the absolute awkwardness

● “just pretend we’ve known each other for years”

● “that’s not very hard, you opened up to me so fast that i actually thought we were best friends”

● “okay then uh, pretend we’ve been in love for years then”

● strangely it worked a little better

● the whole thing was still very much embarrassing and if none of you ever mentioned it again it would be too soon

● simultaneously the best and worst experience of your entire life

● (over time you learned to love those moments in bed with him but that’s because you ended up falling in love lol)

● getting dressed was soooo awkward and the room was so silent

● you asked if the test was really necessary and if they couldn’t just take your word for it

● you tried

● soonyoung had gone to change for the after party

● when your test was over you went to change and went back to party

● but soonyoung had waited for you outside of your chambers

● yeet

● the party had just begun and you had to make an entrance as... well...the future king and queen

● prince soonyoung confides a lot in prince jihoon even though jihoon only listens to half of the things he says

● so when soonyoung gets the chance to be away from you for a second and is with jihoon

● he mentioned the bedding ceremony

● jihoon did a double take

● one because “a what now?”

● and two because “why the fuck are you telling me this?”

● and then soonyoung can’t find you anymore lmao

● you’re just avoiding him for the time being

● because well, you met days ago and just had sex hours after getting married

● will you ever not think about how awkward that was?

● no

��� with that said once soonyoung realized he couldn’t find you anywhere, he almost alerted the guards

● while trying to hide you spotted who you were told was prince seungkwan’s wife

● you decided you had nothing to lose and asking a prince’s wife advice/comparing experiences would probably make you feel better/less weird

● so after talking a little bit

● and after she clearly saw how nervous you were

● you asked if you could ask a personal question

● more like a few personal questions

● so you asked about her and seungkwan’s first time (not in details)

● also asking if she’d felt weird or awkward or nervous after

● she answered with no problem and asked why you wanted to know in return

● yeet yeet

● so you told her about the bedding ceremony and having met soonyoung days ago

● if that hadn’t just happened to you, you probably would’ve laughed at her reaction

● but it had, so you didn’t

● “is that why you’re asking me? because you feel nervous, weird and awkward?”

● “i guess it’s normal... i mean you’ve only met recently and all of this was forced on you, but i wouldn’t worry too much about it”

● she kept giving you words of encouragement

● and that’s around when soonyoung found you

● “hey i couldn’t find you anywhere i was starting to get seriously worried”

● seungkwan’s wife left you and you realized you’d been kinda secluded and hidden from the rest of the party

● “we haven’t talked since...and yeah...i didn’t get to ask if you were okay?”

● “not exactly the time and place to talk, but i am, i’m okay”

● “even...?”

● he didn’t need to finish because you knew what he meant

● you kinda wished he hadn’t mentioned it, even implicitly

● you nodded and he stared at you

● “you sure you’re okay? your face is turning red”

● you hated how he could make you so flustered without explicitly saying anything

● like nothing had happened

● and your face was burning in embarrassment

● and he was just making it worse

● “are you? we just got married and had sex”

● okay maybe you shouldn’t have blurted it out, out of frustration because it made you more embarrassed saying it out loud

● buuut, maybe his reaction had been worth it

● because now it was his turn to be flustered

● it made you feel a tiny bit better

● he simply nodded in response

● and of course, for it to be funnier to you, you used his own words on him

● “you sure you’re okay? your face is turning red”

● little gap where he just stared at you

● “woah, you’re shameless”

● “I’M SHAMELESS?? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ˢᵃⁱᵈ ⁱ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ”

● the way you lowered the volume of your voice almost made him laugh

● but you were becoming infuriating

● “WOAH! i can’t believe you had to mention that right now as if you hadn’t told me to not stop”

● there was another gap and then suddenly the two of you burst out laughing

● “this marriage is definitely gonna be okay”

● and you couldn’t disagree

● by laughing it off, the nervousness seemed to lift off your shoulders

● so you guessed you would indeed be okay

● as long as you had prince soonyoung by your side

● and as long as he had you by his

● years from then you both found it so funny

● the next time you got intimate, you called it your first time, saying the bedding ceremony didn’t count lmao

● almost like trying to erase it from history

● you did consider removing bedding ceremonies from being a requirement

● you also promised yourselves to not introduce your child to their partner a week before having to get married

● so either introduce them as teens so they could grow together or giving your child time and opportunities to find someone

● it might have worked for you and prince soonyoung but there was no guarantee that it would work again

seungcheol ║ jeonghan ║ joshua ║ junhui ║ soonyoung ║ wonwoo ║ jihoon ║ seokmin ║ mingyu ║ minghao ║ seungkwan ║ vernon ║ chan

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.