#this is one show I cannot rewatch I just have to live in my memories on this one 😭

[theribbonmarkedroom]

Missed them just a little 🤏🏾

[writingmonet]

The Psychology of Fives: the impact of Echo's ghost, Rex, Tup & legacy (part 2)

You can find part one here if you didn't read it yet. I'm tired and (no) I didn't rewatch Umbara or the Chip's Arc (do you wanna me cry????), so leet's go memory.

Tup or why Fives may have dependant issues

Tup is a young clone who first appears in the Umbara Arc. While he and Fives aren't especially close in Umbara Arc (they are but as Fives and Jesse are as well), they do seems to have developed a special bond since, when we saw them again on Ringo Vinda, they're constantly at each other's side.

I'm gonna be honest, on my first watch of Umbara Arc I didn't pay attention to Tup that much, mainly because of a clone named Dogma. It's not Tup's fault! It's merely due tot he fact that Umbara Arc presents the challenges of bringing back clones we already knew more or less (Rex, Fives, Hardcase, Jesse and Kix) in the middle of a complex arc (Clones against Jedi, against orders) and with others complex clones (Dogma). So yeah, in the middle of this Tup was more of a secondary character for me and he isn't that developed in the two arcs he's in (but I'll talk about this later).

Back to our sheep, I mean clones. Fives, so used to having Echo at his side, doesn't seem to proceed effectively without someone at his side. Without a close friend. Tup seems to have been this other friend he seems to have been in dire need. Tup is the his way to restart again, to make sure he won't lose a brother if he can avoid it.

While I talk about Tup, this is also largely applicable to all his others clone friends. Fives is extremely protective of each of them and he advocate for their interests everytime he thinks the orders are against their well-being or security. Fives seems to depend a lot on people close to him and he doesn't seem to handle well when things go out of his way.

When Tup's chip activate, Fives do his duty by arresting him and he insist on following him. He can't lose Tup. He can't lose again a best friend. He lost his batch, he lost his twin, now he won't lose his best friend. Now, Fives doesn't display all the character traits of a protector. Or rather he can be a protector (especially toward siblings like Echo and Tup) but he cannot be too much of it since he's a soldier. Due to this, he knows that he's doom to lose siblings and has to dealt with the pain and grief born from it.

A consequence of this grief is that Fives, all during of Umbara Arc, show signs of intense emotions (justifiable considering the whole arc but that I also attribute to the loss of all his Squad). He goes mad rather easily, and he goes mad at Rex when the latter refuses to follow his plan. He decides to execute his plan because he knows it's the best plan they have, and he go search for more volunteers: two brothers against the lives of thousands of them. That's really a cost that Fives is ready to pay.

Side-note: this trait of Fives having difficulty remaining quiet especially when he doesn't find the situation right is definitely a core trait of his on my rewatch of the deleted scene of ARC Troopers where he has difficulty not expressing what he thinks out loud at Rex, who noticed it. It's interesting to notice that he's already taking Hevy-traits when Echos' alive but goes even deeper into it after his twin's death.

Unfortunately for him, in his plan, Hardcase dies and, then, Tup dies and Fives, mad with grief, just doesn't get it. It's so strange that he starts to investigate immediately out of grief. There's something fishy and he will prove it out of loyalty and devotion for his brothers.

That lead me to a point: if Fives had a single doubt about Echo's survival, he would have jump to save him. No questions ask. Unfortunately, Fives will die before he is able (in a few week's time if I'm correct?) too.

Because Fives' life is marked by grief, he refuses - he cannot not go dig into Tup's mysterious death. Losing a brother on a battlefield is something. Losing a brother under foggy circumstances is another, one that Fives will not (cannot) accept.

Now, we all know what happens to Fives, and his ultimate death. I only want to use this to make the transition with the importance of Rex in Fives' life, whom he trusted until the very end, dying in his arms, hoping that his nightmares (of killing the Jedis, of seeing again, again and again, the death of his batchmates) would end.

Fives was reunited with Tup and (almost) all his Domino brothers. Fives had to survive without Echo. Now, in the cruellest joke that could have been made (and thanks Dave Filoni for the tears shed) Echo would have to live without him.

Why is Rex so important in Fives (and Echo by extension) life?

If we look at all the clones from the Clone Wars, since episode one, not much are still alives and not much has been developed about them (another subject of debate). But Rex is, beyond the shadow of a doubt one of the few clones we have known, was developped and still alive.

Rex is also, without doubt, Fives (and Echo) the most important person in their life. It's him who integrates them in the 501st. It's in front of him that Fives & Echo are named ARC-Troopers. It's Rex who serves as this older brother the fandom has established him.

After Echo's death, it's Rex who remains for Fives to hold on to, as someone who knew Echo as well as Fives (perhaps the only one? Jesse and Kix knew Echo but less deeply maybe?). I do believe that one of the reasons why Fives and Rex are so close is because of Echo. Many have drawn parallels between Echo & Rex (rule-followers, fiercely loyal) and Fives & Cody.

As Rex states: you [Fives & Echo] both have really stepped up. Reminds me of me, actually.

Being close to Rex is also for Fives a way of being close to some remaining - some echoes, of Echo. Fives have a mad respect for Rex, to the point that when he disobeys orders, he still wants to know if the man will be against or on his side. Due to the CW structure, however, we do not know enough about Fives' other relations but I don't believe that he demonstrated such a deep respect toward anyone, except Anakin maybe, since their General is always with them on the front of battles. I have little doubt that Rex is an anchor in Fives' life, like Tup is, especially after Echo's disappearance.

Unfortunately, for all the blind trust and immense respect Fives had toward Rex, the latter only half-believed him during the whole chip arc.

A side note: Fives & Anakin seemed to have been close friends. It is stated that Fives death profoundly impacted Anakin. This may be the reason why Anakin followed Rex to rescue Echo. He had known Echo, he had known Fives and if he could save one of his men he always would give it a try, especially the twin of one of his best soldier.

Echo's pursue of Fives legacy

The most ironic thing is that Echo is found after Fives' death and we, unfortunately (and scandalizing!) have no idea of his reaction to the announcement of Fives' death.

This is frustrating and, I repeat, one of the biggest issues I have with the Clone Wars is the lack of development of the clones + inter-personnal relations (but this is another essay, that will be linked with Hevy).

Thankfully, we do have some indices of how Echo may have reacted, with his goal to save most of his brothers from the Empire and to get them out of the inhibitor chip influence. Which is exactly what Fives wanted.

Echo - and Rex, are here to pursue Fives' legacy and last goal shortly before his death. According to Jennifer Corbett, the director of TBB, Echo and Rex had long and multiple conversations about Fives. Why were we robbed of at least one of these scenes is a mystery I'm unable to answer.

Echo, who wasn't here for Umbara (which he may have profoundly changed) nor for Ringo Vinga, who has lost everything, guilt-eaten by what he has done at the hands of the Sepperatist leave his second family (The Bad Batch - quite fitting considering how Hevy saw themselves as a band of bad batchers) to return with Rex to make sure that Fives' death wasn't in vain.

Echo chooses a dead man's ideals over those of living ones, and TBB knows that it is a good thing to do but isn't interested in saving the clones that they never have perceived as family, unlike Echo. It doesn't mean Echo doesn't care for them! It only means that, in the great scheme of things, Fives will always remain the person he would choose above all like Fives did with Echo's memory (his deep attachment to his clone brothers & his mindset to never lose a brother in every avoidable way again).

Okay, I'm tired. But now I know I have an essay to write about Hevy at the weekend. Again, if anyone wants to express his opinions, I'll gladly discuss it.

As a treat, our favourite pair of twins while they were still happy:

(also the amount of non-verbal interaction between those two all the episodes they're together? If you never pay attention, go rewatch the episodes there's like a TON OF IT)

Anyway, PEAK TWIN and I'll die on this hill.

[azelmaandeponine]

If well... like I changed by P.O.V. in how I saw Gravity Falls, mainly due life experiences and teachings from my family. I still want to comment on this and what do you think?

Don't take this bad, but when Journal 3 first was released, I was angry at some drawings, now I feel dumb for feeling that way and it was irrational. An example is that until after Weirdmageddon, there's no drawings of Stan, save for when Ford wrote about him. It still bothers me tought that he didn't made a second entry through to compensate the mean-spirited one he wrote in "ATOTS".

I also remember being angry at stuff such as:

When he says that "It's time for the Pines Twins to join forces again."... I was originally like: "Oh! Boo-Hoo! So he wants to explore with Stan... after 40 years...", because in it's moment Lost Legends wasn't released, so I had no idea they already met the Jersey Devil as children. Also, I was still kind of angry, because it bothered me that Ford in-show had actual supernatural adventures with McGucket and Dipper, like those monsters he recorded in his journals or Crash Site Omega, besides his multiverse adventures. So... how these compare with him and Stan having fun as children, pretending to be explorers, pretending to hunt for the Jersey Devil.

That and when he and Dipper write that: "Ford is looking for a partner-in-crime", and Dipper even saying that he thinks of a good candidate for partner-in-crime. It made me irrationally angry, because well... the concept of: accomplishing your goals/dreams in your third age/late is good/valid and "better late than never" were foreign for me back then. I mean, I truly took setiously the commentary that old people cannot learn anything new in life.

Also, since Ford said that he wished to have Dipper's age again to feel wonder again and the fact that he saw other dimentions and that "Gravity Falls, has nothing new to offer to me.", made me to feel like: "Then why you want to sail with Stan? What our pitiful and miserable planet can offer to you Stanford? What can Earth can show you or offer you after everything you have seen in Gravity Falls and the Multiverse? I mean, do you see Ford being amazed at seeimg dolphins, penguins, lions or kangaroos? It must be boring specially after stuff like Lottocron 8 or meeting geodites, plaidypus or those category ghosts or again.... Crash Site Omega. It's like picking the scraps or leftovers of something, it's not fair for Stan and he deserves better, something nobody has done before.

But it later dawned to me:

It's their dream, they wanted to do this since they were children, doesn't matter how it might seem.

It's their life, their life shouldn't be big or extraordinaire to be awesome. It can be as simple and they enjoy it.

A video said that sailing the sea was symbolic, since it represent that Stan and Ford, no longer live to the expectactives of others. Now they choose what they want to do.

I think is more, because both twins, mainly Ford, realized that life is too short and death can come at any moment, so they decide to do what they always wanted to do while they can, also, when they lost each other, mainly Ford, maybe he realized he didn't made many memories with his family and friends, specially since Stan and Ford were separated for too long and wants to create new memories. After all, that's what saved Stan and McGucket.

Ford in part wanted to make it right to Stan, maybe rewatching their life (the memory recovery theraphy), made it clear to both twins how they were broken and how much miserable Stan's life was and how he conforms with too little, maybe this made Ford feel bad and wanted that Stan be finally happy for good, not just of small moments and what better than finally accomplishing their dream?

The Earth does has stuff that, for us can seem common, for others can be amazing, also, Ford would be more confortable exploring his home, than being in god-knows-where?

Also, Stan and Ford are twin brothers, so, due this, they have a special bond, no one can replace. Also, Dipper and McGucket made their minds in making a new life, so, maybe Ford feels like he needs a different perspective when dealing with the supernatural, one that Dipper and McGucket can't offer to him, since they're nerds like him.

I wonder... what do you think? Sorry fo the long ask.

Pre-portal incident, Ford still thinks about Stan, so even though he's mad, he still loves Stan.

As for the ATOTS entry, Ford DOES have a legitimate reason to be mad at Stan. Not to mention Ford is incredibly blunt and these are his private thoughts.

And Ford took Stan with him to set sail to chase after anomalies. While Gravity Falls has a higher concentration of anomalies, it's not the only place that has them.

So, it's a way of them fulfilling their childhood dream and telling the audience Stan and Ford have reconnected. Because yes, it was their dream as children.

And does it really matter as long as Stan and Ford are happy?

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Ossan's Love Returns

Y’all. Y'ALL. I am stunned right now. I am verklempt. I never thought I would end up here. But here I am.

I bounced hard off the original Ossan's Love. Like, hard. I DNF'd and immediately memory holed just about everything I knew about it. But people I trust (namely @isaksbestpillow and @twig-tea) said this new series was an improvement on the original, and that I didn't have to go back and try rewatching the first series to dive into this one. So of course I, a jbl devotee, had to give it the old college try.

AND TO MY SHOCK AND AWE, I LOVE IT. This show is excellent. This is Japanese media at its absolute best, showcasing the precision in writing, directing, editing, and acting that they can reach when they are firing on all cylinders. This is the kind of comedy only a Japanese production can get right, because it requires a mastery of all these elements that you just can't get in less mature filmmaking industries. This is the best example I have ever seen of this kind of broad comedic style grounded in real stakes.

So let me tell you why this show, which is available for the international audience on Gaga (and with subs coming from Sirii, as well!), is worth your time:

This is a story about an established relationship between adult characters. Y'all know how I feel about the dearth of this we get in drama! Maki and Haruta have been long distance for four years and are moving in together to start their married life as this show begins.

The writing is unbelievably strong. Everything that happens matters, the characters always make sense, and the jokes are genuinely so fucking funny.

Kurosawa, or Chief, as I refer to him, is one of the funniest characters of all time, in any drama. The way this man had me laughing out loud in every scene! I felt like I got a workout.

This show is a feat of editing. I have been watching a string of shows recently that are getting hamstrung by bad editing, so let me tell you, it was a true pleasure to watch a drama that executes editing tricks so deftly and with such an eye toward sharpening its story and enhancing its jokes.

It has excellent female side characters. We have Chizu, my favorite lady bestie who is here to whip Haruta into shape at all times, and Chuoko, an actual archer who also has her own little romance going, and Haruta's mom, an unbothered legend who just wants to eat her food and get to her dates with her boyfriend.

There's a mystery! Next door to Haruta and Maki are two creepy mfers (brothers?) who are Up To Something. Or not! I don't know but I’ll find out!

We are getting an actual dialogue about gay marriage. Haruta and Maki consider themselves married, but have no legally binding contract and have not yet had a wedding, and they talk about this and their feelings about it often as they are negotiating their lives together.

We may have some aroace rep happening?? This is still pending but my radar is pinging hard for Takegawa to join the incredibly shortlist of explicitly aro and/or ace characters in bl.

DID I MENTION THIS SHOW IS FUCKING HILARIOUS. I cannot overstate the number of times this drama had me straight cackling in three short episodes. I had to get up and do some laps to walk it off.

The show is extremely well paced and I trust it not to waste my time. No small thing in these bl streets! The odd episode order (9) and tight pacing of each of the first three episodes tells me the creators of this show know exactly what they are doing and how much time they need to execute their vision.

This show is airing live for the next six weeks and I strongly encourage you to watch it and come join the fun with us!

[darkleysgarden]

Into The Alters

A Total Drama Analysis

INTRODUCTION

I have been obsessed with the whole system. I love them all sm. And because of this, I had to analyze them ofc. That's what I always do. I'll start with more general things and then deep dive into the alters and how they formed.

Disclaimer: I do not have DID, nor do I claim to know everything about the condition. I have done my best to try and learn about it and be as accurate as possible. If I make any mistakes or use incorrect terms, please tell me! I'm trying my best and genuinely hope to improve. Tyty.

WARNINGS: I will discuss ableism, child abuse, sexual abuse, overall trauma, potential murder/crimes, and other Total Drama typical things.

Also, whenever I say 'they' or 'them', I'm referring to all the alters or multiple of them.

OVERALL VIEW OF THE SYSTEM

DID often forms from trauma, and this system clearly did form that way. I'll get into it more on the alters individual parts, but the way they act and the roles they take on help prove that their pasts were very traumatic.

What is the goal of them going on Total Drama?: I believe that the goal is to move out. I rewatched it recently, and I remember no mention of the bodies parents, no mention of their pasts other than hints at juvie, nothing. But, Nico, how can you say that it's specifically to move out? Throughout the seasons, it's hinted at that Mike knows little about TD. He's heard of it. He knows general things. Yet, he doesn't understand more niche callbacks. Most of the new cast mentions being huge fans or watching the series before. Mike, to my memory, doesn't. Mike never points out his goal for the million dollars, and the last thing he wants is fame. He even goes against his psychiatrists wishes of going on the show. Why is a million dollars so important to get? To move out. The DID formed from something, right? The most obvious way to form would be because of parents or guardians. And if you don't believe me yet, the only reference as to what they will do with the money is by Mal. Mal says he wants to use the money to live out his life his way in a tower of his own. AKA, he's using the money to move into a new place and gain free will. And I'll go deeper into that in a moment.

EDIT: I just found out that it's basically canon that they were using it to move out. The Fresh TV official blog confirmed that Mike and Zoey moved in together shortly after All Stars. Obviously they would have used the money to do so.

Overall, what I am saying here is that they have a bad home life and are going onto Total Drama to escape that. Both while the show runs and when they win. They even went on two seasons even though the first was stressful enough and they weren't having a great time. When people come back, they have a reason that they detail. Fame or fortune. We never get that from Mike. Because it's personal. It's personal and not something he is willing to share on international TV.

WHAT DOES THE RESET BUTTON DO?

After much research, the reset button does not seem possible to me and I have a new theory on what it actually did.

Via my research, I could be wrong, you cannot get rid of DID entirely. Alters can not be killed. To get rid of Mal would have required Mal to comply with it, and Mal was not complying.

Integration is possible. Parts can be erased. Though, in the end, Mal would come back like seen in the show. He can not be entirely erased because that's just not how DID works. Even integration, forced dormancy, and letting go of alters would take a ton of work and time. Getting rid of Mal would be hard and would be one thing. But to erase all of them and get rid of DID entirely? It's impossible from what I've seen. It's hard to erase a single alter, especially if they don't want to go like Mal. Usually, they leave by decision or go into dormancy on their own. And it seems that usually, if an old alter is erased, a new alter usually will form that is very similar to the old one.

Alternative theory: What do I really think the reset button did? Dormancy.

This would be hard, but not impossible. Like I said before, it's a choice that leads to dormancy and erasure. Aside from Mal, they were all on board with the decision. They would be able to put themselves into hiding in the meantime while Mike sorts his life out. All 5 of them would likely be able to force Mal into dormancy together, especially considering that we know they did it before.

"But Chester directly told us that-"

Chester is not reliable at all. Nobody else knew what it did. They were operating off of what he told them. Chester is shown to have shit memory and not know what he's talking about. He could have easily not explained the button entirely correctly.

I believe that once the show is over, Mike moves out, things settle down, the alters will slowly come out of dormancy as it feels right.

This is probably me being in denial that they're gone, but idc.

SVETLANA

Omg, Svetlana. I am her biggest fan !!!!!

Sorry.

Anyway. I suspect Svetlana is a fictive. Actually, my boyfriend came up with that. I'm stealing it from him. Ask him for more details. Idrk the details.

Basically, Svetlana is extremely detailed. She holds information and memories that seem to have come from outside of the systems experiences. She is too detailed to be a randomly formed alter.

How did she form?: So, I believe the character was off of a book character? I WASN'T THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THIS PART. I bet you're thinking, why aren't you researching this? I'm ranting to myself rn okay. I'm just also putting it on the internet for funsies. I'm operating off memory rn. All my research has been done off random questions I've had while pacing around my room at 3AM.

UPDATE: we've changed our minds. There's an Olympic Russian gymnast named Svetlana who has won TONS of awards and holds common references with her. She was also actively competing at the time Mike would have been a kid. So he could have been watching her and wanted to copy her acts. Svetlana Khorkina, if you're interested

Anyway. Young Mike is experimenting with himself. Because that's what every kid does. This doesn't necessarily mean that he's LGBTQ or anything. A boy can try on dresses without that being the case. People experiment with their identity, especially at a young age.

However, people don't like that. Because people are bitches fsr. Idk. And I already speculated before that the bodies' parents aren't great. An alter is forming off a book character he found relatable. The character being female is part of what gave him this interest in looking at feminine stuff. Yet, he got in trouble for it. In that situation, Svetlana would form off of the character, making her a fictive. Yet, she has also become a protector. She is now there to protect the physical aspect of the body. She's the one who works out with her gymnastics. She probably does skin care and that stuff. She knows how to get dressed well. She is there to protect the physical aspect and keep the body healthy.

And she won't fail to defend them from anybody who dislikes a boy wearing makeup or anything of the sorts. Those gymnastics muscles aren't fake bro.

Age speculation: so I don't feel like researching the book more. In fact, I can't even remember if it was a book. So I'm basing this entirely off of canon.

I think she is 14 or so. Though, with her, I can see a lot of fluctuation. I used to think she was more in her 20s. But, I think it makes much more sense for her to be a young teenager. Also, just saying this now, but my age headcanons are just headcanons. So, if I don't work with your ships, you can move them to a degree as long as it isn't weird. JUST DONT MOVE MANITOBA OR VITO MUCH AND ILL GET INTO THAT.

Back to Svetlana, though, she acts a lot like a young teenage girl. We know she has participated in many gymnastics events, and I feel like she wouldn't be so active in doing them if she didn't feel comfortable with the age group, if it wasn't very similar to her own. Which leads me to somewhere teenage. And then idk if it requires an explanation, but she gives 14 year old girl energy.

Also, I have a random silly hc that Svetlana was the only girl that could beat Skye in gymnastics. Svetlana had to participate somewhere, and they're both Canadian and probably would end up at the same competitions. There may be proof to disprove this, but all I've seen is "but the body is male," but Svetlana wouldn't participate in boys' competitions, and maybe people just aren't transphobic. Idk. SVETLANA HAS A TON OF AWARDS IN CANON. SHE ISN'T JUST SAYING THAT. IT'S IN THEIR ROOM. Sorry, I'm off topic.

MANITOBA

Another one of my favorites and another fictive WOOHOO.

So the creators, from what I've seen, have said Manitoba was based on Indiana Jones. And then they took Australian aspects from two non-fictional people.

That's why I've decided to call Manitoba and Indiana Jones fictive.

Formation: Nothing huge to this one. I believe Manitoba formed mostly off comfort. Indiana Jones was a comfort character. A cool explorer who could get out of any situation (I think. Admittedly, I've never actually watched it.)

We see constantly that Manitoba fronts specifically during tough situations that are hard to get out of. He's smarter than the others in many ways. He is always able to call out Mal's slip-ups and lies. He knows what he is doing and is able to protect and save the others from tough times. That is his main purpose as an alter.

Also, I think it's interesting to note that Manitoba says that Mike gets in the way of his relationships, and then Mike said that the alters would ruin his romantic relationships. I'm just saying that Manitoba probably had a love interest we didn't get to see. Idk. Just had to bring that up when talking about him. Listen, I'm analyzing them for the system, but I'm also doing general analysis, okay?

Age speculation: So... I see a lot of people speculating that he is like 20-40. I don't believe that. I placed him at about 18-19.

I couldn't figure out if fictives are always the same age as the character they form off of. But, let's say they are. In that case, I believe that it's highly likely Mike could have formed Manitoba off of the 13 year old Indiana Jones River Pheonix played. Then he continued to age.

The reason I don't like the older headcanons is mainly because he flirted with Zoey and was implied to be in past relationships. Obviously, these people wouldn't be far off from Mike's age. Going off of a 17 year old Mike, Manitoba is only 2 years older. I also just don't see it fitting for him to be much older? I can see him acting 20-25, but like I said I prefer it younger as it makes more sense with his relationships.

We never see Chester flirt with anyone for this reason. He's too old for them. It would be weird for Manitoba to flirt with them if it was the same case. And speaking of Chester...

CHESTER

Ima be so honest. I'm not hugely interested in Chester. Yet, I do think he's interesting in the aspect that he is different. And I believe he is an introject (if that's the correct term).

Mike's parents were shit in this speculation. He would search for someone outside of them. Like a grandparent. I also want to credit deranged_royal on tiktok as she formed most of my Chester headcanons and helped further my other analyses. She also has really cool cosplays. So follow her rn.

How he formed: Mike looked up to some kind of grandparent figure who ended up dying. He was hurt by this as he had nobody else to look up to. Therefore, an introject formed. It seems that introjects of people systems know in real life often form off of people that provide them comfort or have died. So, I think this makes sense.

Age speculation: 60-80

I feel like old people don't really act differently after they hit 60 or so, so I don't really know. He's probably older because of the issues he has.

Sorry, Chester is so short. I don't have too much to say about him. We don't get a lot of him, and I feel like he is very easy and simple to understand. I love his scenes, though. He's so silly.

VITO

So we all agree Vito is the sexual protector? All right. Thanks. This one goes more into sexual assault and sexual situations!!!

Formation: I actually have two separate theories for this. They both lie in sexual assault. But I'm leaning towards a sexually abusive ex over guardians.

The reason I think this is largely based on how he acts with Anne Maria. Also, the tiktoker I mentioned earlier also noted that he only fronts when the body becomes stripped of clothing. Interesting detail....

I love Annito. I'm their biggest fan, actually. I'm working on rewriting their entire wiki rn because all the system wikis are outdated. I love them sm. Break from the sadness. Look at the cuties.

Anyway. Have you ever noticed how attached Vito gets? He meets Anne Maria, and she is all he can think about from then on. He does anything even if it annoys him just to see her again. Assault survivors tend to get attached easily to those who show them positive attention. Also, they want to take charge of the more sexual aspects. Vito starts making out with Anne Maria within about 5 minutes of meeting.

Anne Maria gives him the interest, care, and control he seeks in a relationship. And now he clings to her. And they're healthy. I LOVE THEM AHHHHHH. Sorry. They're perfect together.

Age speculation: 17-18. This one is obvious to me. He acts like every high school senior. Plus, Anne Maria was 16 in roti. He's no more than 1-2 years older than her. Especially since she thought he was the host before the DID discovery. That means she thought he was about 16. Would be weird if he wasn't.

MIKE

Wowzers. We're at the host!

Okay. Mike, I get it you have internalized ableism. This issue, however, leads to a lot of mistreatment of his headmates. He acts like he owns them, which isn't a positive thing to do.

I love Mike a lot, but I will not erase his actions.

He never allows anyone to front unless it is for use. For example, Svetlana, if it's a physical situation. Then after he fronts immediately again. They even imply that he was never in headspace, meaning that he would only ever let them co front or would fully dissociate.

He didn't let them be their own people, which is really sad. He also didn't allow them their own relationships. Though they have as much of a right to those relationships as Mike does.

Just because Mike is the host or the 'first' doesn't mean that he isn't still an alter. He becomes an alter the second an alter forms for the first time. He is now only one of the people who shares the body.

Also, this may be controversial, but I don't like how Zoey treats Mike. 😕 I don't really have strong opinions outside of their relationship on her. But, I dislike how she, even after a year of dating, seems to not understand anything about his DID. Plus, she always brushes off every other alter and doesn't try to be friends with them or anything. Instead of helping with Mal, she just acted like Mike was lying to her. I like their friendship, but I can't ship Zoke for those reasons.

I could say more about that, but this isn't a Zoke hate post. Mb bros. I probably just lost a few of you. Too bad, so sad. Mal is the best part. You're gonna miss him.

I know I have more to say on him, but I am honestly blanking right now. It's hard to say more about him as he didn't form the same way as the others. I don't really know much about the first alter, so I don't really want to say more for that reason, too.

MAL

Oh, boy. Buckle up.

Idek where to start. I'll accidentally leave out sm because I have sm...

Formation: Mal was the first alter after Mike to form. I'm confident in this for sm reasons. For example, none of the other alters knew about if Mike or Mal formed first. Let's say Svetlana formed after Manitoba. Manitoba would know he was there before she formed as they all actively communicated with each other. Though, they all formed before juvie as they knew about that whole situation personally.

Therefore, I'd say that Mike and Mal have known each other since Mike was about 6. Which makes sense with the research I've done about formation ages. And this is why they know each other so well. Mal is able to imitate Mike extremely well. What gave him away was WHISTLING. And then the bracelet/necklace thing, but like, that has nothing to do with how well he knows Mike's personality.

He knows everything about Mike. And Mike NEEDED him. That is explicitly said by Mal and confirmed by Mike. Mal was formed to protect Mike from abusive or traumatic experiences. And that is why Mal is the way he is largely.

Mal experienced a traumatic childhood. And I believe he's younger than Mike. When Mike is 17, I believe he is only 13-15.

I believe that Mal is terrified of the fact that Mike doesn't need him anymore. So scared that when Mike is put under a ton of stress on the show, Mal fronts full time to take the situation into his hands. He still wants the same goal as the others, to move away. But he is doing it his own way. Also, notice how much he targeted Zoey? He hated anyone getting close to his headmates. He wants to protect them.

"How do you explain him being so rude?"

He is a kid who had a bad childhood. Because of this, he wants to take out the pain he received and push it onto others as well. That's why he's so aggressive. And part of it is just him being a devious 13 y/o.

And, don't forget that that kid was in jail.

Speaking of, he ran the place, right?

Of course, he would want to run the place. It's a whole jail troupe for a reason that you need to make yourself feared. If everyone was scared of him, nobody would hurt him.

That brings me to what I think got Mal into juvie.

Self protection murder.

From what I've seen of the laws, I believe he could go to juvie instead of adult jail for this based on the trial. And if it's self-protection against an abusive person, he could get off with less. I believe. I'm no expert on Canadian law or law in general.

Why do I think this?

Well, Mal had to do something pretty bad to have everyone fearing him. A young kid with a body at like 13 (my guess for body age when in jail), who committed murder. Everyone would stray away. Especially if Mal left out the details and claimed it was in cold blood.

Mal likely fronted most of the time during juvie. He had to go through that rough and scary situation. He went through all of this traumatic stuff.

And then...

Mike forced him into dormancy.

He loves Mike and wants to protect him. Yet, he holds a grudge against him. Mike formed him and made him suffer, and then now tries to get rid of him.

Of course Mal would be upset.

How he acts in All Stars is heavily based on a mix of his grudge against Mike, his trauma, his young age, his time in jail, and overall the nature of the alter he was formed to be.

Mal was formed to be someone stronger and more protective. He wasn't supposed to back down. He was supposed to save them all from that abuse.

But, he's still young and still his own person. It's going to take a toll on him. Especially if he only got to front during the bad times. He now only knows how to take out his anger as a way to protect himself and his headmates.

I know I have a lot more to say about Mal, too. But it's getting late and I'm tired and blanking.

EXTRA

I suspect that after juvie, they were placed into therapy and some sort of foster care. Even if they aren't in an actively abusive home now, they wouldn't trust that it couldn't turn bad. Plus, they would want their own space and control after everything.

So, I'm gonna end it here for now. It's midnight and I'm eepy.

Tell me if I made any mistakes please!!! On canon info or on DID or whatever

If you want more details on any headcanon or have any questions or anything put it in my asks. I love receiving asks. I'll gladly rant to whoever is interested.

Though, for now, I'm tired. Night night.

Live, laugh, love Svetlana.

[hausofmamadas]

PRIMOGENITAL | the Wisdom of Fredward Horniman

From The Gentlemen, Episode 1 - Refined Agression

∴

Look, you guys. He’s really suffered, okay?

He’s been STABBED in the heart, he’s been London-BRIDGED(?), he’s been FUCKED in the face, DOGGED on the floor.

And it’s true. He has, despite being the firstborn son, been relegated to the truly harrowing fate of being the most embarrassingly, painfully, mediocre progeny in the family line, that his dad had no choice but to break with 600yrs of tradition and cut him out of the will, passing everything to younger, much cooler more responsible brother, Edwina “Eddie” Horniman. And isn’t not having a bullshit title, nor the crushing debt of his father’s failed above-board business, nor having to deal with the surprise! extensive, underground potfarm on the estate grounds and all the accompanying stress and criminal hijinx with it— well, isn’t it just the most traumatic thing you can imagine???????

Now all Freddy gets to do is:

live in historic mansion with way-too-cool-to-be-caught-dead-with-him, Inexplicable-Stunt-Driver-Wife Tamasina (known by abs legendary nickname of Wham Tam) who also, when asked by Freddy in a moment of desperation if she thinks he’s a cock, rightly points out, “all men are cocks, Freddy”

pal around in chicken costume and steal cars with chill asf brother that he only occasionally wants dead, Steady Eddie who’s legit so good at everything that Freddy doesn’t have to be good at anything

go “fishing” aka chuck live grenades into lake full of salmon, a method worthy of Park-Tuna-Assassin Ramon Arellano Félix and invent Crack!Weed another Ramon-coded pasttime with bestie-botanist and lover of all things hydroponic, hallucinogenic, and Special Sauce, Jimmy Chang …. AND

Skeet shoot out in picturesque estate garden with creature-whisperer, actual live angel, and all around Dilf-of-the-manor, Geoff

Oh, the horror.

No, but honestly, I cannot summon from memory a single character I have so biblically despised on first watch, only to full 180, violently swing in the opposite direction to straight glee/appreciation for the comedic marvel that is Mr. (not!)Duke-SirFancyPants-RoyalDumpsterFire-LordSomethingErOther, the one, the only, Frederick “Fredward” Horniman aka thisprince👇

Yeah, talk about refined aggression? I had some refined ass aggression toward ole Fred, here. Like when I tell you I hated this “man,” I h a t e d this man.

All I could think the whole time, on first watch was, wowowow, y’know what’s worse than a useless, entitled, infantile, drug-addled, narcissistic man-fetus …?

A loud useless, entitled, infantile, drug-addled, narcissistic man-fetus.

My mans, Eddie is wayyy too generous here☝️and every other time he bails Freddy out of whatever pigshit he manages to shove his full face into bc I’d be throwing more than paper. That antique furniture would regrettably be sailing thru the air, straight at that fat melon of this nepo-baby dressed in DivineRightofKings drag, if only to get a precious few fucking seconds of silence.

Like the only one reacting appropriately here is Charly☝️who Freddy snarkily calls Lady Macbeth with a mix of love and contempt only a sibling can display which like, not the best? insult? To be called one of the most groundbreaking female characters of all time? But our boy is nothing if not scholarly, right. So im sure he super paid attention when the class was reading Macbeth

So, yeah. He’s basically the worst. There’s a metric fuck ton of evidence to support that. AND YET, this mf isn’t completely useless bc after my 2nd and 3rd rewatch specifically witnessing the genius that is his alter ego, plastic Russian gangster, Anatoly Givenchy Romanov who laavs orange cars and Siberian tigers let me do tell you, against my better judgment, I found myself growing to love and adore the (2nd) funniest character in an already hilarious show (crown goes to beautiful tropical fish Jimmy bc mans always proper vibin’)

And now, when I watch this scene, instead of berserker levels of enraged, I’m struck with a disorienting combo of secondhand cringe + juvenile glee??? Like instead of wanting to aggravated manslaughter my own tv, I’m just “awww, Fredward. What a little nothing you are. Look how silly you look in your lil boarding school jumper.” And it feels good(?) but mostly bad. And then I do this

like the true American scum that I am.

═

taglist: @drabbles-mc @when-did-this-become-difficult @narcolini, @ladygoatee ⇝ tagged bc even tho you have zero intention of watching, you were diligently taking notes

[victimized-martyr]

Did you ever mention how you got into kyman? Personally speaking, I got into it (again) around 2020 when I rewatched sp, and I basically fell down the rabbit hole. I’ve been into it on and off since then.

I probably did somewhere, but I'll say it again!

I wanted to see what SP was all about so I decided to just watch the most recent episode/special at the time-- post covid. But I realized, it was a story that wasn't forgiving for newcomers, and I had NO idea who was who. I have vivid memories of being weirded out by the redhead guy being upset about the rabbi dude's wife and kids. Then when he said "did you know that he once snuck into my room and gave me fucking aids?!" I GASPED bc one, it was super out of nowhere, super crude, and two, I falsely assumed like, OHHHHH they're gay exes... that explains this weird behavior. I'm sorry what else was my dumb ass supposed to assume! And I watched the rest of the special viewing them in that context hgkd But when I started to properly watch the show from the beginning/ hop between episodes, I felt embarrassed for myself, I was like HOW on earth could I have made that false assumption. I was actually grossed out by the thought of kyman at the start! I knew that Cartman was obsessed with Kyle, and that they did care for each other as friends, but I couldn't fathom Cartman's obsession being anything genuine or Kyle reciprocating. I even made a post abt it on my main as I was watching the show, it might still be in there somewhere lol. I was happy just watching the show as is and I was like, dang! This might be the first thing I get into without shipping anyone! Then, my buddy @shpadoinkle-day texted me what was practically the kyman manifesto and urged me to "wait till seasons 20/21, it'll change everything"

at the same time, an irl buddy watched THAT moment in Manbearpig w/ me for the first time and went "that's... kinda fruity" and I was also like?? yeah?? damn... Then I saw seasons 20/21 and it opened up my eyes. I think it was the only seasons I was so enthralled with to completely binge in one night ghfksd and I. was. floored. Kyle crying over cartman? during a montage of couples breaking up? Kyle being speechless when he saw cartman get a gf? Kyle questioning if he liked heidi, Kyle's stupid ass "we're all going out with Cartman right now", how he inserted himself in the relationship so hard, yet when taking heidi from cartman, talks as if he wasn't doing it for Heidi. His frustration at Heiman was at the very top in list of justification at bombing a country (yes, Kyle says he's upset a girl he liked turned into cartman... but there's layers in that statement, esp. compared to kyle's actions). Kyle memorizing the day they got together, confronting Heidi and asking how Cartman is doing as a boyfriend, what specifically she finds about him that's redeemable (and we all know how Kyle is about finding the good in people), batshit insane things a normal person (like stan) wouldn't ask his friend's girlfriend. And then of course, Kyle dropping all that effort when they break up. Insanity. I realized the obsession was mutual, and rewatching the show in that context completely rerouted my watching experience with the show. It kinda made it funnier for me too lolol. I started picking up on all the evidence I saw shippers point at, and I got what they meant fr. Kyle and Cartman are assholes and poke at each other's insecurities, have hurt each other, yet will not let the other die, Kyle is usually the first one to call for cartman if something happens to him, he saves him when he doesn't deserve it, and Cartman, as stated by Stan, cannot live without him. And it's subtly shown he wouldn't keep kyle just to rag on, bc if that were the case, he would not hesitate to hold it over Kyle's head. Their feelings for each other are very complex, and--if you really pay attention to the show--mutual.

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch 1x22

One of my favorite eps.

No, John, it’s not going to get better.

Where do I start? First of all let me mention the ‘not-good-bye’ good-bye John and Aeryn do. I love it. One of so many in the show, less fraught than later ones but still mmm.

But that comes later, let’s get back to the beginning.

Where Rygel sells them out and it surprises no one. But he doesn’t find a good market, and returns with Crais, Crais who is now seeking asylum. The scene in the hangar bay, as Crais steps out is…

What I notice the most is the way John fixates on him. He associates Crais with being hunted, tortured, though it’s nothing to the reaction he will have to Scorpy on board in S4. That whole scene, with Crais asking for protective custody, and D’Argo knocking him down, and yet through the whole scene, there is John, gun pointed, not wavering in his regard of Crais, an almost uncontrollable fixation and it looks like he is fixating on the thought of shooting Crais. It’s this intensity of concentration that is frightening.

And the fugitives come up with a desperate plan, based on the fact that Scorpius wants John. And you can see the look on John’s face as he realizes the certainty of his being on a suicidal mission as opposed to a probability.

I love the scene with John trying to leave a message to Jack and not being able to, and finally giving up with ‘why don’t I just start screaming, and leave him with a really happy memory.’ Yeah.

And Aeryn coming in, partially because she sees he needs comfort. And she does comfort, instinctively, by sharing about her Mother. And his delight, even under those dire circumstances, at the fact that she is letting him in, telling him something so personal. The way his voice and eyes envelop her, the way she seems to relax and forget the mess outside.

This is getting vvvv long...so

And her asking him if his father is like the man she’s met on fake!Earth and his reply that a bit idealized but yes. I love how important John-Jack relationship is to FS, and how you can feel it, though we barely ever see Jack. He is crucial to John and so we see him through the mirror of John. And oh, how do I love that final message he does leave, ending with ‘This is John Crichton, somewhere in the Universe.’ The wonder is still there, isn’t it? But so is determination to not be taken alive and I find that rather heart-breaking. But there is awesome gallows humor with D’Argo and John and oh, this show is turning me into an emotional yo-yo, as it always does.

The highlight of the ep for me, is John sitting with the gun, on the floor, by Crais’ cell and talking to him. And he is quiet, and beyond despair, and in pain. And he is crying. And that whole scene, which I cannot describe well at all, or even analyze, just kills me. Trying to make Crais understand, still trying, but now it’s not about that, not really hoping for that or wishing it, but just verbalizing it all, head on.

Oooof (and the way he’s almost cuddling the gun as a comfort blanket...)

And when Crais says that there is much injustice and they are all proof of it, John’s bleak rejoinder that if there was justice, Crais would be dead…kills me.

And there are good byes. Chiana refusing to be saved and D’Argo insisting. Zhaan and John, acknowledging they are family. D’Argo and Aeryn, and D saying he thought he’d live much longer and Aeryn (in a sentence that explains so much) replying that she never thought she’d live this long (unknowingly echoing Zhaan who said that every microt is an undeserved gift from the Goddess for her, since she committed murder).

The scene with Rygel and John, which is just…always sideswipes me, so much because they are hilarious and moving and Rygel is a fucking puppet but I never remember he is 100% real to me.

The never-ending references...

And the insane nicknames. The show was gloriously unhinged.

I love this exchange:

This is the bit that gets me tbh...

There is the scene with Chiana and John, which just makes me die. Because Chiana offers him her body, because that is the only way she knows how to repay John for what he did for her and what he is about to do, and it says volumes about the life she’s led that this is the one way she can think to show gratitude. And John turns her down.

But it’s not the fact that he does, it’s the way he does it, that gets me. Because he manages to be so gentle and sweet and not insulting at all, because he recognizes it as a gift and treats it as such. I think that is the reason her relationship with John is more important to Chiana than the one with D’Argo or anyone else. John is someone who wants nothing from her (not that D is mercenary, but because the relationship is romantic, there is a different dynamic, one she is more familiar with). John is family: he really is her brother replacement after Nerri. (Side note - any other show he’d bang the hot alien since he’s not dating Aeryn or even close but not here/)

And yeah, that doozie of a cliffhanger. And John seeing the base go in smoke and his sheer glee at the destruction, at striking back, at saving his crew.

He is millions of miles away from the John who came through that wormhole. But he asks to be patched in to Moya, to make her escape, even though this means certain death to him. That duality, with humanity and self-sacrifice always there, just different, will always remain.

Also, yeah, Crais 100% developed a thing for Aeryn after she tortured him...everyone in this show is a bit insane...

[seth-burroughs]

mdarc chapter 1 rewatch part 4 let's goooooo gamersss

halara is here. "i have no obligation to help others, but i work sincerely according to the payment i receive" "to believe in another is the shallowest concept one can uphold" yes halara as you should. striking them with the npd hammer

ok so i stopped doing this for like a week or two because lammergeiers swarmed my apartment and started tearing out my bones and eating them in front of me. really sad story. anyway i heard seth literally appears just next scene aint that something huh

watching the sidequests needless to say yomi brain is very uncomfortable rn

seh

why the fuck did he bring flowers. somebody make a 40 paragraph essay on why he showed up with a fucking bouquette at his house

i missed the jp pronunciation of their names. sezu barozu. yomi herusumairu. suwaro electro. halara nightomero

everybody else in the game either has some sort of odd unusual name combos and then theres seth burroughs of the british isles

awkward and bitter exes forced to look at each other for the first time since the divorce in which yakou took the kids and then lost them at castorama shortly after

i might have been joking but why the fuck do they talk like exes. hey what the fuck is this scene

return of the megaphone. i forgot he has a megaphone because my memory is comparable to the warrior cats writing team

that was the loudest crunchiest fucking sigh i ever heard i am wheezing. everybody stop whatever youre doing go search for the jp dub mdarc playthrough of this scene you need to listen to this shit

i love seth's shit eating grin. i wish for nothing more than to smash his skull against the wall repeatedly in a romantic sense

"this flower... its beautiful, isnt it?" there is something deeply wrong with you. find jesus

i cannot with this fucking exchange. i cannot. i cannot. this is fucked. seth is a fucked up character. i am so fucking scared. wiki help me

this laugh is so fucked up too. also through this entire conversation i feel like a child that is forced to witness their parents fighting in the living room

bye seth that was an ethereal experience and i will now go to sleep aware that i am from this moment on apparently sexually attracted to all Makoto, Fake Zilch, Martina and Seth now and I got no idea on what to do about it to be honest i shall uhh make up a strategy in my bed gettinh all cozy and shit or something

My biggest accomplishment of today was to stand up for a few minutes to get zoomies then resume being too tired to function

[variousqueerthings]

Thoughts on Jonny Lee Miller please?

sdfghjhgfdsadfgh FRIEND YOU JUST MADE ME VERY HAPPY

(we need to send asks more!!!!!! in this interwebs tumblr cultúre)

JLM THOTS (JLM thot)

okay so I cannot remember when I started watching Elementary, but that was my first conscious JLM (I had watched Trainspotting, but I was but a babby at the time -- I have seen it... some times since then), and listen. we through around the word ND on this here site, but I think Mr. JLM as Sherlock Holmes is one of the original tumblr ND regents, and still absolutely Peak! this man knew what he was doing!

and then I went on a little JLM tour, and I am here to give you the top movies I saw with him at the time (after which I will do the list of movies I want to watch now): Hackers, Trainspotting + T2, Plunkett and Mcleane (seriously, this movie is underrated!), The Flying Scotsman, Mansfield Park, Regeneration -- also most underrated Mr Knightley in Emma + in a fun, odd little show called Eli Stone (I also watched Mindhunters, Byzantium -- which is some great Gemma Arterton -- The Escapist, Aeon Flux, and Dark Shadows, and I'm not necessarily saying don't watch these... well, maybe don't watch Dark Shadows... but they weren't my favourite. although Byzantium is fascinating. misogynist vampires)

Movies I have yet to see that I want to watch: Dead Man's Walk, Complicity, Love Honour and Obey, and Dracula 2000

MOVIES TO SHORTLY GIVE AN EXTRA SHOUTOUT TO

I'm not going to talk about Hackers (famously dreaming about wearing a latex bodysuit and getting railed by his future irl wife Angeline Jolie) or Trainspotting, but T2 -- is it good? yeah, it's not bad actually. did it need to exist? no, no it didn't. did it enjoy textually pointing out that Renton and Sick Boy have some kinda Sexual Tension? yeah, yeah, yeah! actually kind of feels like the main reason it exists is to go "hmmm do you think Renton and Sick Boy are a bit... youknow?"

also shoutout to Robert Carlyle who's in the Trainspotting films and also co-starred with JLM in their very own homoerotic duo film, which includes Liv Tyler "Plunkett and Macleane" loosely based on the history of two real highway men, and it's. just such a great movie. it's one of my "please it's so fun and so silly and such a product of the 90s! Craig Armstrong did the music!" it's kind of got some polyamory going on?

The Flying Scotsman is about a real amateur cyclist, and it's a pretty by-the-numbers inspirational tale, but I quite like those when they're about real underdogs and Graeme Obree certainly was that. From memory (it's been a few years now) I believe I watched this film and went "ah so that's where some of the early development of Sherlock Holmes mannerisms stems from," so it's also just fun as a study of JLM the actor

Regeneration -- gotta mention this one, because of it being about Siegfried Sassoon. he doesn't play Sassoon, but he's very good in it and generally it's a fascinating piece based on a book that I for some reason have only read the sequels of, and I'd recommend anything about Sassoon, I'm easy like that

I also didn't mention Frankenstein up above, but I watched both versions of it back whenever it was being shown with National Theatre Live and he was fucking stunning in both roles. as Frankenstein he's a little different to how I often picture him (read: JLM is not giving pathetic twink, although he is giving twitchy weirdo), but JLM is so physical throughout, so pitch-perfect in how he's interpreting the role. and as Adam/the creature it's like every bit of tension he's ever been able to control is just unleashed, it's sooooo (argh gotta see if I can find a torrent of that so I can rewatch him)

Now the thing about JLM is that he's often cast as kinda the straight man in a lot of his stuff, but he's... so not.... that man is silly! and you can tell! his physicality is a bouncy little weirdo, and for a good long while his body was that of a bouncy little weirdo -- and then he got fuckn Big 🥵😂 (you can take the man out of the bouncy little weirdo, but you can't take the bouncy little weirdo out of the man...... smthin like that. the more i look at this sentence the more I feel like this is an innuendo, oh well. now it's intentional)

the thing I really like about him is that he seems totally un-self-conscious while playing characters who are often under great scrutiny, either for being considered criminal and/or for being visibly non-neurotypical and/or otherwise non-normative. he's a hacker, he's an addict, he's a creature that was created from the bodies of other men, he's a bipolar cyclist, he's giving us Thee Sherlock Holmes of modern times, stimming, kinky, caring, blunt, overstimulated, relapsing, deeply unconventionally in a relationship with Watson that doesn't attempt to fit them into any mainstream language at any point!

also he has the best grimace of ever. he's so good at looking simply. perturbed. uncomfortable. get me out of this party. when he's 70 or 80 he's going to be the best old man face 🥺🥺🥺

also if I am very very lucky and very very nice to my mum, she'll take me to watch him in his current play in London, wish me luck!

TL;DR underrated character actor JLM, broader than you think he is, the hero of portrayals of weirdos and freaks and outcasts, I think it's wild that he's danced around playing queers this entire time, make him kiss a man stat!

(there's a whole other, very specific analysis of his gender in Hackers and how that relates to a wider feeling about his particular take on masculinity in a lot of my favourite portrayals of his, and also there was a youtube video that i just spent 15mins trying to find on Hackers from a transgender perspective that's mostly correctly-so about Cereal Killer/Matthew Lillard, but touches on the gender-fuckery of JLM and Angelina Jolie)

(okay I wasn't gonna talk about Hackers, but we cannot forget this scene, we simply cannot!)

[corpsentry]

SORRY i keep coming here to yell !! you got me thinking about cdramas (& t dramas) i enjoyed and then forgot about :"] i watched 如果奔跑是我的人生 earlier this year and the ending lost me, but i was quite captivated by its 20+ episodes before. it centres around parental relationships (asian) and, i don't know much about dance at all but a main character is a dancer and her story made me feel things. the performances were sick, in my unprofessional opinion! I'm Fine is a gorgeous ost track. btw.... i've started rewatching 不良执念清除师 again and i CANNOT RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH. i've been thinking about it (on ep 5 LOL) and i actually don't think the ending dropped the thread or ball or 链子 or however that saying goes (im fever SORRY.... i think it was cathartic and beautiful in the way a galaxy is— i just could not get enough of those guys T__T 不良执念清除师 is about sulky teen (??) guys moving through the world with so much heart. it's about LOVE and ART and how the living go on after tragedy, it's about how. how (PARDON ME....) we get to keep everything we've ever loved for even a fraction of a moment & what we are doing is worthwhile even if it is very small !!!!! it is a show that is, in Voice from IMBD's words, an outstanding Taiwanese drama that excels in every aspect, because it was made with so much care and love...(meta!) also, gay people

first of all No Apology thank you for coming to yell!!! you have a big heart full of love for the world and it moves me!!!! i went down this rabbit hole on m*dramalist after watching 我们的少女时代/our times (2015)-

(tangent incoming) this movie Shook the secondary 2 scene in singapore when it came out everyone and their dog was sobbing about it and i listened to 小幸运 Religiously despite never seeing it myself. Having Seen It Now, it is a sweet little thing and it makes me feel desperately old. it also made me CRY, what can i say i’m a sucker for distances and ships passing in the night and i was soooo happy when liudehua appeared and then adult xutaiyu showed up and he Fuck Ass Hair. my lord, his hair looked like SHIT. PICKLED SEAWEED……… i couldn’t cry after that because i was so busy clenching my asscheeks out of sheer despair FUCK HAIR AND. AND!!! A TOO SHORT BLACK BLAZER ON SKINNY JEANS??? I MEAN REALLY??? I KNOW 2015 WAS NINE YEARS AGO but i don’t recall fuckass hair being the in thing then…. this memory i do not have…. you have to understand how emotionally devastating this was to me…… (tangent end)

(tangent part 2) (please look at the way they styled this poor man’s fuck ass hair. i don’t care how earth shatteringly sweet they were in high school if my first love turned up ten years later and he looked like this i would simply walk away)

(tangent end)

the point is, that i then went through vivian sung’s acting history to see what else she’d been in bc she was soooooo lovely and realized that 不良执念清除师 was in said history and then remembered this ask! and your heartfelt words about its story! and i was like Oghey, i watch—

just finished the first episode and mein gott yiyong is such a Teenager…… man i look at 18 year olds and i’m like i don’t remember being like that but i Know i must’ve been, once upon a time. but the range of emotions the script wrung out of him in one episode was kind of insane and his actor is kind of vibey as hell (perhaps this is my sign from god to finally watch your name engraved herein…) and vivian sung is still epic as hell and sooo goofy and i’m excited! i think of u in my head for some reason as the epic tight as hell short chinese dramas anon, i Trust your eyes. they’re good eyes. i’ve also locked down the first 20+ episodes of the other drama you mention here, especially because yang chao yue is in it and she was Breathtaking in the double T T T thank you for the recs! where do you find all of these? i don’t know but you must be doing good out in the world. be well anon. meet a chicken

[lumiereandcogsworth]

smoshblr tag game yippeee!!!

“tagged” by @unknownteapot hehe!!

also i have to put this under the cut because uhhh too long 🫣

1. how long have you been watching smosh? WELL i do have very fond memories of watching the boys with my brother back in maybe 2011? 2012? maybe later idk. i specifically remember the pokémon vids, man-spider, the paranormal easy bake oven, and this one where the entire time you thought that he (i cannot remember who. i think anthony) got his dick stuck in a port-o-potty’s door, and he’s like stuck there for days, and the whole time you think it’s his dick that’s stuck, only for it to be revealed at the end that it was the burger that he brought in with him. THAT got stuck in the door 😭 idk why that one lives in my head so prominently, but it’s so stupid LMAO. anyway… then i started watching pewdiepie and eventually got more into shows on netflix (superwholock nation😐✊) than youtube. THEN in like 2019, my brother rediscovered smosh by way of try not to laugh. and showed them to me. and for a couple years that’s ALL i watched. like legitimately just checked smosh (pit) once every two weeks and watched it, then carried on. i loved it and them but i still didn’t have the desire to check out any other stuff lmao. and THENNNNN at the beginning of 2023, i just very randomly decided, in my boredom and unemployment, to check out their other stuff. and boyyyyy did i get hooked. and i’ve been watching everything ever since. so, very long-winded way of saying i’ve known about them for over ten years, but i’ve been DEDICATED to watching ALL of them for about a year and a half :)

2. favorite smosh cast member(s)? shayne’s been my fave since 2019, and since 2023 amanda has very prominently become second fave, if not tied with shayne. i also love courtney and spencer and tommy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TREVOR AH

3. favorite pairing(s)? well in terms of actual ships i’m sooooooo so happy for shayne & courtney and they’re SO cute :”) in terms of just like, any duos? shayne & amanda (of course), spencer & courtney, amanda & angela, tommy & spencer, and chanse & damien — they have a very underrated dynamic, like when they’re in videos together they’re so wildly in sync. they seem unlikely but i think damien brings out the nerd in chanse the best lol. also i love so many duos gosh!!!!!!! they’re all such good pals with each other it’s rare to NOT have a good duo. ian being arasha’s “dad” is always a fun bit lmao.

4. favorite reoccurring character? im a chosen girlie for sure 🥹 love that freak.

5. favorite smosh video? oh my goshhh that’s so hard. i love to rewatch shayne & courtney’s tntl trivial pursuit. i love lots of the don’t win mario partys. love when they play werewolf (and blood on the clock tower.) and OF COURSE, love so so so many try not to laughs 🥰🫶

6. first video that got you into smosh? i wish i remembered the first “other” vid i watched last year, but i do not 😔 i also wish i remembered the first tntl my brother showed me, but alas i do not 😔 i can’t even say i remember which early smosh vid he showed me first all those years ago, but i’m going to guess it was one of the pokemon ones. so that’s gonna have to suffice as my answer lmao

7. favorite picture of the cast? i don’t know if i have a favorite favorite but this recent one from the live is very cute and silly <3

8. favorite picture of your fave? i mean really anything this dumbass posts. why is he like this

9. what smosh series do you want to see more of? gosh i’d loooove if they brought let’s do this! back!!! AND IDIOTS PRESENT!!!!!

10. dream guest on smosh mouth? oh my gosh uhhh… i literally don’t know. maybe vanessa lachey just to see amanda resisting the urge to commit murder for a full hour.

tagging: @japhan2024 @hoohoobeanie + anyone else can say i tagged them bc i’m not confident who of my followers are here for smosh adjskdj 💛

[one-of-tankhuns-neurons]

I cannot tell you how terrified I am of rewatching 180 degree longitude passes through us

We all know most first-watch moments are to experience the whole thing, feel it, have it wash over us and let everything be skin and rain, sensation and aftertaste. Then we have rewatches, the ones that allow us to analyze and look closer and peel each layer carefully while bearing our own emotions alongside it... I happily do it for all shows I believe require attention and have details and crumbs leading to better understanding.. but this show.

It ate me alive.

It's been nearly two years yet my chest aches and my eyes feel like they're holding back a storm with just a single stray thought finding it's way to In's house in the middle of the mountains.

It punched a hole in my stomach with so much strength the skin is torn and I dream of the echoes of the impact.

It's the theatre in it, it pulls me in and reminds me of my youth, making me feel from the start that smell of mold, the sting of paper, the darkness of the theatre and the brightness of the stage... I don't know how to describe it.. it's a whole different universe and it's a scary one, because characters in theater are alive, and shifting, and they look at you through eyes you are familiar with. Theater is a form of sorcery I dare not mess with, but this show makes it real once again. It's the colors. The blue city, the green forest, and the grey unknown.

It's the lines. Every wall, every fold, every doorframe tracing an abyss, or a bridge or a portal to a different time. It's the half built bridge. The everpresent reminder of what if's; of fear and cowardice, of a love that's uninished and a life that doesn't want to be found. It's the unknown, the dark nightyet the blinding and shaming light of day. It's the caged bird. One time my feelings were eating me alive and Wang and In jumped out of the mirror as I was breaking down and I could hear Wang's voice growling "stop crying Icarus, can't you see there's no sun?" Do you se what I mean now? They come alive. Once they're let out they live inside people forever. It's the lonely whale... but was it really In? It's the acceptance speech It's the looking through chopsticks It's the way they speak of wine It's the barely grazing of skin It's the horror of a ghost you carry inside you It's the angry love It's Rosalind...right? Rosalind? That was her name? Rosalind? It's a phone that rings but no one picks up I am scared that when I enter that house again I will feel everything in my bones once again. I am scared that I will see more, the layers and the deep ocean beneath my surface and drown in it... But at the same time I am afraid that I will break the spell and make it mundane. I will come to realize it's just a story on a screen and I will no longer be scared of it and I'll lose the last of my real emotions. So I think I'll keep it safe until I begin to forget it. Or maybe I will become Wang and never find In again no matter how much I long for it. They will be a memory and I'll keep the nostalgia and the horror of never seeing eachother again as part of how real it was for me. I'll dust off a picture from time to time and remember. Deep in the night, I'll think of when I cried for several hours and I felt like throwing up my everyinside. I was not sad, I was ripped apart and it took months for me to rebuild what was left.

I can't write anymore, I need to clean the floor before the blood stains the carpet.

[jerzwriter]

List of Your Ten Childhood Ships

Thanks @thefirstcourtesan for tagging me. I'm so showing my age here, lol I'm going to count "childhood" right up through the end of high school for these purposes. God, I'm straining my brain. lol What's sad is, outside of Jodie Dallas on Soap, I cannot even recall a queer character, much less pairing, from my childhood. How sad is that? So this list is def hetero as it comes.

This is in no order - not really...

Princess Leia and Han Solo - Star Wars: OK, this was THE couple of my childhood. I was OBSESSED and still am. There was NO better movie than The Empire Strikes Back. The "I love you." "I know." sequence. Goddamn, I've always had a type; it goes back to childhood. I'm ashamed (not really).

Lando Calrissian & Princess Leia - Star Wars: OK - this is bringing back memories - and this is fucking crazy - I did write fanfic as a kid, and it was a Han/Leia/Lando triangle (as good as a 5th grader can write...). God, I'd kill to have that notebook now, and OMG, what a predictor for DTI. 😂😂😂 Even as a tween, I knew that would have been some juicy triangle that never came to be. lol

Sandy & Danny - Grease: Some asides. I was WAY too young to be watching this when it was out (my Mom was insane). Most of it went over my head, and in retrospect, I am so anti-most messages in Grease - but that doesn't mean I don't still love it. I do. And OMG How I loved Sandy & Danny and danced around my living room pretending I was them. lol

Jessie & Angie - All My Children: I was a soap junkie, so I have a lot of soap ships - but this is one of my all-time favorites. A modern-day Romeo & Juliet, and the soap world's first true black super-couple. Angie's well-to-do family forbade a relationship with her obvious soulmate, Jesse. They eventually got together, but in true soap fashion, that didn't last. A death that wasn't really a death, among other things, impeded. But how I remember watching those summers and rushing home from school to check the VCR and pray it recorded. lol OLD SCHOOL!

Kevin & Winnie - The Wonder Years: This was the sweetest show and first love story. The ending was so poignant and probably led to my penchant for beautiful but heart-wrenching endings. I need to rewatch this sometime.

Maddie & David - Moonlighting: This one makes me sad, thinking of Bruce Willis's current condition. 😢 These two drove each other crazy, but the sexual tension radiated from the TV screen. They were the ultimate "will they???" couple, and even when they did, they still never really got it together, but that didn't mean I stopped rooting for them. Sadly, this show is just about completely not available on streaming/reruns due to musical copyright issues.

Nina Cortland & Cliff Warner - All My Children: Told you. I was a soap addict, and AMC will forever be my favorite show. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember that their wedding took place THE DAY that we went back to school, and my prepubescent little girlfriends and I LOST OUR SHIT. This wasn't the days of reruns, this wasn't the days of DVR, this wasn't even the days of Soap Central (y'all don't even know what that is). These were the days of "You missed it, bitch - so sad." And I was...I was...

Maria & Georg - The Sound of Music: OK - I loved musicals from a very young age, and I am forever obsessed with The Sound of Music. I had a mad crush on Georg as a young girl, proof that assholes with a heart underneath it all have ALWAYS been my thing. lol

Dwayne & Whitley - A Different World: It was not a pairing I liked the idea of - initially. Whitley was such a spoiled, obnoxious, rich princess at the start, and Dwayne didn't seem like he'd ever have a chance, but as time moved on, they made it work, and I tuned in each week, dying for them to finally get together.

John & Claire: The Breakfast Club - What can I say - I have a type? lol This was the iconic couple of my teen years, and if had been writing fanfic at that time, I would have had a treasure trove for them.

Tagging @jamespotterthefirst @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @genevievemd @angelasscribbles @icecoffee90 @cariantha @doriopenheart @peonierose @potionsprefect @coffeeheartaddict2 @lilyoffandoms @storyofmychoices @annoyingmillenialnewbie @utterlyinevitable and anyone who wishes to jump in and play!

[hirmienworld]

In my opinion there are those who expect too much from Adult!Suasoon.

Even he doesn't know the rules of the game, how this time travel works, his only certainty is knowing that at a certain point "his future self" will disappear into thin air from the timeline of the past, that is, the day Young!Suansoon will meet Ongsa at the cinema for the first time.

Of course, I think it's naive to believe that by avoiding putting your young self together with Ongsa, it will help prevent Ongsa from having an accident but I think this way because I'm watching a story and I have at my disposal all the knowledge about " time travel" left over from other shows and movies.

Suansoon doesn't have this privilege and in my opinion he is doing his best, especially considering how painful and difficult it can be to decide that you want to give up such a great love, just to have the hope that your loved one will be safe and sound.

From what we saw in the first two episodes, however, we already know that Young!Ongsa will not listen to Adult!Suansoon's advice and will go to meet Young!Suansoon, starting a romance with him. Rewatching those episodes it becomes very, very clear why Ongsa behaves in a certain way: he has all the information left to him by Adult!Suansoon to his advantage.

I think that the story between the two young Ongsa and Suansoon will go exactly as we saw it go the first time, because if the laws that regulate time travel (in the world of fiction) are respected, then EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY HAPPENED , exactly as we saw it happen. You cannot change the past, you become part of it but things will still go the same way, or rather, they will go that way PRECISELY because you have traveled in time. Doctor Who teaches us.

And this means that for 10 years Ongsa lived alongside Suansoon knowing full well what his fate would be (the car accident) and hiding the fact that he had met Suasoon as an adult BEFORE the young one.

The only thing that will change is Suasoon's memories in the present once he comes back from this time travel. And this will only happen now PRECISELY because the time travel, in the first two episodes, had yet to happen and therefore Future!Saunsoon could not yet remember it. The only one who remembered, all along, was Ongsa.

The real mystery is: are we destined to see Ongsa die or remain in a coma? Or will he be able to recover? Will more time travel be necessary? Could Ongsa be the one traveling this time? Is "Absolute Zero" a story that wants to teach us to accept mourning and the unjust end of a love, or in the end will he be able to give us hope? There are still several points to shed light on:

The Old Man from the Movie Store. The butterflies. The taxi driver. But I have faith that little by little everything will make sense. I LOVE this drama.

[tokyokookmin]

MIXED FEELINGS

I don't know why but the feeling of not being able to watch a comfort show is so heartbreaking. Feeling torn in the inside. Maybe it's just because this show has been my comfort show where I feel happy watching it and being able to look forward for a episode every week. I have been watching and run bts since 2018 (I know they took a few breaks here and there) but this just seems different.

It'll take time for me to process the fact that I'll only be able to reconnect and watch new episodes in 2025. It's just quite personal, I'm so connected to them, this moment is feeling really bitter sweet for me. And before I hear anyone saying that I'm being overdramatic, fyi, I am connected to them in a different way, a very different one.

They were there to help me through tough times where my mental health wasn't doing that good. So yes, it hurts. Of course I can rewatch old episodes but man I'm feeling really sad right now. The memories we all had with them will never be forgotten. All dalbang eras will never be forgotten and never will.

This feeling cannot be described through words.

We watched them progressed through the years and it's just a special memory that lives between us.

2025, please come fast 🤞

But this isn't the end, we have plenty more years with bangtan and dalbang .