#this is one of those moments i am the LEAST confident with my characterization and i hope it doesn't show rip

[altschmerzes]

I’m legally obligated to ask about loneliness into loneliness if you post any time of ask aka FACE SMUSHED AGAINST GLASS.

OF COUUUUUURSE

here's a clip from loneliness into loneliness, the ted lasso fic about dani and jamie both being out injured at the same time, staying together at dani's house, and starting a queerplatonic relationship - figuring out what that means, what they want it to mean, how to navigate something neither of them have a roadmap for.

this is from the night where dani is, to put it succinctly, the big spoon for the first time, bc they started sleeping in the same bed so that jamie could help keep him from rolling onto his bad shoulder. now that he's healed enough to have his shoulder brace off, and has noticed jamie is having troubled sleep the last few nights, dani has offered to hold him tonight and see if that helps him sleep. it's also the first time we get into the thing with one of them putting a hand beneath the other's shirt, direct skin contact, etc, which ends up being. A Thing. this scene could be subtitled 'two people try to have a conversation where nobody says a full sentence the entire time and they both want the same thing that they don't have any language for or idea how to talk about'. it's a bit long, so, under the cut it goes:

When Dani’s hand slips under Jamie’s shirt, pressing against his side just above his hip, the feeling of skin against bare skin is electrifying. He twitches, the muscles under the point of contact giving a small, instinctive spasm. It’s something like a flinch and he feels Dani go still.

“Sorry,” Dani murmurs. He starts to pull away, lifting his hand from Jamie’s side while the rest of his body tenses like he’s getting ready to move. “I should have asked before I-”

“No,” Jamie says. He barely breathes it, really, lower than a whisper. Just as quickly as he’d interrupted Dani’s self-rebuke, he reaches down to grab the retreating hand and keep it there, gripping Dani’s wrist gently but firmly. “No, it’s…” He swallows hard. There’s something strange and uncertain fluttering in his chest, something anxious but hopeful at the same time. “It’s okay. I… It’s fine. I mean, are you… What do you…” What do you want? seems accusatory, What are you looking for with this? just sounds weird. Jamie can’t figure out how to ask, what he’s even trying to ask.

“Nothing. Just this. Just…” Dani’s fingers flex a little where their hands are hovering in an awkward tangle, still caught under the fabric of Jamie’s shirt. “I’m not trying to… Just to… When you helped with my shoulder, it was- was nice. That’s all.” He doesn’t seem to have the words for what he’s trying to say and there’s more hesitation now. His voice sounds embarrassed and it has a nervous edge, and there’s a tension at the grip Jamie has on his wrist like he’s going to pull back again.

“That’s okay,” is what Jamie settles on saying. “I don’t mind. That’s…” He swallows hard, thinking about the press of skin against skin, the warmth of being touched so directly and unflinchingly. The thought of being touched like that, just for the sake of it, the way he had touched Dani when he’d massaged his shoulder after physical therapy, just touch without the expectation of it leading to anything, something more following, is… Well, Dani had been right about that. “That’s nice, actually. I think. That’s- yeah. That’s okay.”

Even after he says it, Jamie waits for a long, still moment before releasing his grip on Dani’s wrist. He hopes he didn’t fuck things up somehow, that his reaction hadn’t made it so that Dani didn’t want to touch him anymore. The more he thinks about it, the more Jamie wants him to do it. His side aches, feeling oddly cold and prickly.

There’s a hovering pause where Dani’s hand stays in place, not quite resting against Jamie but not pulling away either, still there tucked beneath his shirt. There’s barely a centimetre between them and it feels like forever that it stays that way. The longer it goes on for, the more Jamie feels cold and exposed and small, and then everything changes.

Then Dani’s hand moves, settling on Jamie’s side. He leaves it there, his thumb moving in slow strokes over the ridge of bone at the bottom of Jamie’s ribcage. There are callouses on his palm that Jamie can feel, slightly rough against his skin. It’s beyond frightening but he doesn’t want it to stop. The chill is gone, and he feels grounded, anchored to this place and this time, here in this bed. It’s like he’s pinned there, but without the threat that word seems to imply - not pinned. Held. And honestly, Jamie thinks that he might die if it stopped, if that gentle touch was gone and he was left to lay here, cold enough to shiver without it. It doesn’t leave. It stays, pressing a little harder after a while, like the way that Jamie has relaxed and leaned back into Dani’s chest, not flinching again since that first time, has given him permission to settle in too.

[hyperfixationstation128]

I'm sure this has been said before, but I'm of the opinion that Gale didn't love Mystra. Not really, anyway.

"But, Hyper!" You cry, "He tells the player flat out that he was in love with her! What are you talking about?"

Well, allow me to shed a little light on what it is I mean.

It's pretty much unanimously agreed within the fandom that Gale is Autistic, which I find awesome. He's such a great source of representation for those of us who've been through similar experiences and relate to his personality. Those of us with Autism know the frustration of being portrayed as "the weird kid", "the manic pixie dream girl" or even as non-verbal people with a propensity towards violence with our meltdowns. Fun fact: not every person with Autism has "violent meltdowns", some of us go through what's called a shutdown, where we become non-verbal, secluded and kinda "stop working".

"Okay, okay, that's cool and all, but what do you mean by Gale didn't love Mystra?"

I applaud your enthusiasm and am going to explain now. As someone with Autism, someone who's been researching the topic for years, and someone with immediate family members who are on vastly different sides of the spectrum, I can say with about 95% confidence that Gale did not love Mystra... not for real, anyway. He had what is called "Limerence".

Well, why don't we turn to the internet to look up the definition of the word. "Limerence is a psychological state characterized by an intense, all-consuming romantic infatuation. It is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which an individual feels an overwhelming desire for another person, known as the “limerent object.” This state was first defined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s."

Now, the act of limerence is completely involuntary and could happen to anyone, neurodivergent or neurotypical! However, based on anecdotal evidence, it appears to affect women with Autism more than anyone else. When you experience limerence with someone, they become everything to you. You are completely obsessed with them, they can do no wrong in your eyes, they are everything to you.

Sound familiar? The way Gale describes how he viewed Mystra is unmistakably Limerence, at least in my opinion. And if you aren't convinced, allow me to be vulnerable for a minute and share a personal story on my experience with Limerence.

I was about 12 or 13 when I first met my friend, let's call her Tina. Now, Tina was that one girl in school who loved anime, played the violin, and made incredible art. From the first moment I met her, I was smitten. And this went far beyond a normal teenage crush. I was obsessed with her, her opinion, her tastes, her likes and dislikes. I was so in love (I thought) that once stole my late grandmother's wedding ring and gifted it to her. I devoted every breath in my body to her, every fiber of my being. We were friends for years and even dated for a while. In my mind, we were meant to be. We got along great, she was funny, silly, and so incredibly talented. What I didn't know - or maybe didn't want to believe - was she didn't feel the same way.

"But, Hyper! Isn't that just unrequited love?" No, dear reader... 'tis not. Limerence is not love, no matter how much you may want it to be; no matter how deep your feelings feel like they are. Limerence is an unhealthy obsession and there is typically very little one can do to sway oneself from their "object of desire". In the mind of the person with Limerence, there's nothing else in the world except the person they're obsessing over.

Now, there are three stages to Limerence: Infatuation, crystallization, and deterioration, which all seem pretty self-explanatory, but I'll explain further for those of you who don't know.

Infatuation: The first time you notice the other person's positive qualities. Their eyes, their smile, their abilities/talents.

Crystallization: The "obsessive" part of the act. Where you feel a heightened sense of anxiety, walking on eggshells to avoid any "turn-offs" around the other person. You may find yourself thinking about them to the point where it's affecting your normal, daily life.

Deterioration: When the intensity of your feelings begin to wane, and you no longer find yourself attracted to or wanting the attention of the person you were pursuing. In my experience, this is the worst part of Limerence as it usually blew up in my face.

Now, you may be thinking something along the lines of "Okay, but how does this relate to Gale?" or "Are you trying to imply that Gale was abusive towards Mystra? That's ridiculous and you suck!!!" and you're right. I do suck. But I'm not implying that Gale was abusive towards Mystra. Given the fact that she's a literal goddess, it's impossible for that to have happened. What I'm implying is that how Gale viewed Mystra for the time that he was with her was not genuine, true love like how he has with Tav.

This post got way longer than I originally anticipated and I'd love to write a full-length essay on this someday, but I feel I've assaulted y'all's brains with enough jargon for now. If you guy wanna hear more of my thoughts on this particular subject, I'd be more than happy to oblige.

Please feel free to keep the discussion going in the comments or your own post! I adore Gale and discussing things like these regarding his character and personality is my bread and damn butter.

[magpie-come-east]

If you're still doing the ask meme, talk about your own OCs! Cyrielle for the ask meme?

favorite thing about them

I've been planning a reread of Gilded Apotheosis to recalibrate my characterization of Cyrielle. But I remember her being very caring and humorous. She was never particularly clever, but her blunt humor and attitude were endearing. She sassed Margit [affectionately] and sassed Morgott [derogatorily] and I think her characterization made her an OC shipping fodder protagonist people actually connected with!

I also like the design element of her golden scar. Its a physical feature that makes her stand out amongst the dozens of women Tarnished with braided hair (we all have great taste).

least favorite thing about them

I wish I had fleshed out her backstory more. For some reason I believed it was canon that Tarnished are revived with little to no memory of their past lives. I think I was just led astray by popular fanon haha. But regardless, I think Cyrielle is flatter than most other Tarnished OCs because of her lack of compelling backstory.

favorite line

"I suspect there are a lot of things I am supposed to feel about you. First among them being disgust. I am meant to be mortified by you, by your presence and your touch. But I don’t. I don’t feel that way. In my short life I’ve seen one hundred horrors. If you are fated to be counted among them, then you are the least of them all. By far."

"Would it be so horrible if my King was also my friend?"

'If Aster chooses to fight, you’ll be sent to answer his challenge, won’t you? [...] Tell Morgott to send me in your stead. However the two of you communicate."

This one's difficult! To me Cyrielle has plenty of memorable scenes but very few striking lines. Morgott wins out in that regard. But these three jumped to the front of my mind. They are just really tender and loving. The first and third quotes are her addressing Margit before she learns of his double identity. It just. Auughhhh!!! And the second is her confronting Morgott with that truth.

brOTP

Mohg and Cyrielle! 

I enjoyed the shift in HSPS when Mohg went from barely acknowledging her to being her confidant and friend. She’s one of the few people that doesn’t know a lot about his baggage and just treats him like her brother in law. Thus he was there for her at her lowest moment.

Cyrielle and Aster

Yeah, they're mortal enemies now but thinking back on their relationship makes me almost nostalgic in a bittersweet way. They fought their way through Gelmir together! And Liurnia! They were besties! And now Aster can only regret the relationship he destroyed (and the memory of it too). And Cyrielle wants him to die. Tragic!

OTP

Cyrielle x Morgott of course. After four kids and a century of marriage they'd better be!

nOTP

Aster x Cyrielle and Shanehaight x Cyrielle 

I remember a couple of people suggesting to me that those two men had crushes on Cyrielle while I was writing GA. On the one hand, I’m flattered that their rapport and interactions were compelling enough for people to come to those conclusions! But it’s very much not the case. Aster is gay. And Shanehaight sucks! Haha

random headcanon

Before meeting Aster and beginning her earnest bid for Lordship, Cyrielle was recruited by D to collect Deathroot for Gurranq. This deepened her faith in the Golden Order- which eventually drew her to want to side with Morgott. It also makes her eventual fatal Deathblight wound all the more ironic.

Since Tarnished were largely persecuted and spurned in the Lands Between by the time of her arrival, she spent most of her Tarnished life living nomadically. Finally having a permanent residence allowed her to discover a love of cooking and gardening. But her standards of home cleanliness are really low.

She has 9 INT

unpopular opinion

I’m don’t think I can have an unpopular opinion about my OC!

song i associate with them

Arms Unfolding by Dodie for sure. (Cyrielle shares a lot of Morgott's songs because they are ship songs haha)

Dream State by Son Lux

Broken Open by Adam Lambert

favorite picture of them

Refer to that picture from my Morgott answer. It's the only one of her I've got! Or this

[stewblog]

Monkey Man

Dev Patel was already one of the most promising and interesting talents within his generation of actors. But with Monkey Man, Patel shows he’s got the chops to be just as interesting and talented behind the camera as well. 

Monkey Man is being marketed as “John Wick But In India.” And while it’s clear that Patel has taken at least some action lessons to heart from the Wick films (a character in the movie even specifically name drops the character), this inaugural directing effort from the Slumdog Millionaire star is something much more jagged and raw, both in terms of action and vibe. 

Patel plays “Kid,” a name he’s never actually called as he only ever offers “Bobby” as an identifier. The name is swiped at a moment’s notice from the container of kitchen cleaner he’s using, but it’s meaningless. He has no identity. He has no life. He has only a heart of rage and vengeance burning inside of him. His sole mission is to kill the policeman who killed his mother and destroyed his village, and he’ll go to any lengths to accomplish this. 

What ensues is, at its core, a fairly standard and by-the-numbers revenge flick. Desperation leads to anger, anger leads to failure, then training, then a final and thrilling showdown. Every beat is familiar, bordering on rote. What fuels Patel’s film, though, is less its common tropes and more the ways he fills in the gaps between these all-too-familiar elements. Monkey Man is a movie with a lot on its mind and Patel wants very much to say meaningful things about the state of India’s politics, religion, poverty and corruption. I am (as it is likely quite obvious) not even passively knowledgeable on India’s political state, nor the state of its Hindu leaders. Some of the specifics and nuance may be lost to a Westerner like me, but the heat of Patel’s anger at these institutions remains palpable. 

Does that anger translate to depth? Obviously Patel is using this film as an outlet for his frustrations, but it’s difficult for someone in my position to gauge just how much he actually has to say beyond “The State Of Things Is Bad.” Not that the audience is owed more than that, but it often feels like the message comes at the expense of making the contained elements feel more fleshed out. Bobby is little more than a cipher. He goes for most of the film never having a meaningful interaction with anyone that he wasn’t using as a means to an end in his quest for violence. There are flashes to his youth, fleeting memories of his mother and the heroic tales of the Hindu god Hanuman that color his childhood. I suspect this is part of Patel’s grand statement, that a heart hollowed out by anger is only capable of vengeance, but it does make the character less interesting on the whole.

Despite this, and the film’s somewhat sluggish start, Monkey Man is still a remarkably confident first outing. Patel paints the screen with a palette of deep hues and a visceral attention to the details of a life lived amid the slums. It’s a film that feels visceral in its depiction of a world that is inherently violent, even (and especially) when led by those professing peace. Anchoring it all is Patel’s tightly wound performance. Whatever shortcomings there are in Bobby’s characterization on the page, it is at least partially ameliorated by the fire found in Patel’s eyes from beginning to end. 

If nothing else, Monkey Man is a terrific calling card for future projects, an undeniable statement of arrival and intent. Whatever shortcomings are threaded through this first film, it’s evident that Patel has the drive, chops and vision to be something greater. I can’t wait to see what his next work will be. 

[yeehawbvby]

Damn i really didn't think about ever spiraling back into my pokémon hyperfixation like this, at least not this deep, but your posts are birthing blorbos to haunt my every waking moment. So. *cocks gun* i need some uhhh milo headcanons for a uhh friend (the friend is me being down bad for him) (obviously joking pls there's only a watergun involved) (your pokemon stuff literally inspires me ty)

*takes out a mini-water gun and shoots it into ur mouth* I am here to quench your thirst (get it?? Because water. And thirst for Milo. and. . Sorruy)

Hello hi I finally did this omg I am so sorry it took literally MONTHS but here we are!!!!

I did my best, not very confident in my characterization of Milo by any means, and most of these are silly, but I hope I did him justice :’)

- I told you this in DMs already but I’ll put it out there for everyone else to enjoy: Milo voiceclaim BLAST‼️ (doing this on mobile so I can’t link from a time stamp atm but I think he starts talking around 30 seconds in?)

- Milo isn’t a gamer. But. If he ever got into a DnD campaign somehow (I feel like he’d prefer tabletop > video games if anything?) he would absolutely 100% be a druid

- Spent a while internally debating his race class. I think maybe he’d stick with human, tbh, or maybe a halfling

- If he wasn’t a farmer, I could see him still working closely with pokemon beyond just being a gym leader. Like maybe he’d have a gig at a pokemon center

- OR. Or!! maybe he’d work in a battle café as a pastry chef?

- Or maybe I’m projecting, because the thought of baker!Milo is so cute to me ckejvoskckd

- Clothes headcanons.. hmm…. Lots of sweaters? Those sweaters that have a Very Pointless zipper that goes down to the, like, mid-upper chest area before stopping?? Yeah?

- Omg wait this guy KNITS

- He totally gives out scarves and mittens and beanies that he made as a (platonic) love language

- If and when things are romantic then you’ll get sweaters and blankets too, alongside everything else

- I don’t think he’d eat meat! I don’t think he would be vegan necessarily, but I can’t see Milo being the type to eat the creatures he exists so closely with

- So maybe a vegetarian, or at least the type that eats meat sometimes but avoids it for the most part

- I wanna imagine that he meshes well with anyone he meets. Bro is a pure people person

- When it comes to romance, I think he’d be very surprisingly confident

- He’s a sweet cinnamon roll but he’s not shy by any means!!

- I think he’d be pretty up-front too. If he likes you, you’ll know. Hell, maybe he’d say it outright one day while you’re just hanging out, doing something super mundane

- Milo’s definitely a gentleman. Lets you walk inside the sidewalk rather than on the street side. Opens doors for you. Walks you to your door (maybe with a cheeky smooch?) after a date night

- He’s a ditto that’s gotten REAL good at acting btw. I mean look at that cute happy little face— You hear something?

[gemharvest]

As promised, NENE FOR THAT ASK GAME prompted by @zackcharine

favorite thing about them: I really like her design. She's really pretty 2 me also I kinda just like her... whole characterization idk. I get obsessed with girls who like sharp objects and have no problem using them. I wont her.

least favorite thing about them: You know what, funny thing for me to say after that but I can't think of anything else. The way she was designed for Pico's School was certainly A Choice. Really does make you go "Oh yeah, Pico's School/ Nene's Interactive did come out in 1999, huh".

favorite line: Once again gonna have to pass for now bc I like. LMAO I haven't engaged with enough Pico's School stuff to have anything stick to my mind yet. Most of my engagement has been playing Funkin' over and over and these fuckers don't really. Speak. In that game.

brOTP: Like I said with Pico the NG trio are so silly to meee I love those goobers, but as it stands now I am very specifically obsessed with the Pico & Nene friendship dynamic. Need to get. A more confident read of her and Darnell and then maybe I'll get more obsessed with them. lol

OTP: GFNENE I lauv GFNene. I haven't many serious thoughts on them yet bc I like. JUST got down my personal characterization for GF and don't quite have a solid one for Nene (though it's been getting there for a while now) but idk I like girls. Glirls. Also something funny about GF being a literal demon and Nene being Christian. I also fuck with CassNene, but it's even more of a passive thing than GFNene like I have 0 serious thoughts. I just think it'd be cute if they kissed. #womenswrongs

nOTP: I daurnt knoowwwwwwww. TBH I think if you asked me this when this fixation started I would have said romantic PicoNene but that's not the case anymore. I can get behind a good exploration of them in a romantic context, even if it's still not something I'll ever explore myself. So I guess, honorable mention so I say at least Something. Literally other than that Idc.

random headcanon: Shieettttt I don't have very many HC's for her rn. Like at all. You know what this is another "funny thing to say after what I just did" moment: I sometimes rotate Pico & Nene FWB in my mind. I do not think abt it deeply and it is not something I consider canon to what I write for these guys, but it's There.

unpopular opinion: Gonna have to pass on this one too. I don't even have anything annoying I've seen to complain abt I just straight up dunno if I have an unpopular opinion on her. I think she would be justified killing Pico I don't Fucking Know. I typed that out planning to delete it but no that's staying, that's funny as shit. Kill his ass Nene.

song i associate with them: FUCK I need a Nene playlist. Uhhh I never shut up about KATAMARI but I'm gonna force myself not to pick a Femtanyl song. What if I said Bed of Roses.

favorite picture of them:

I tend to stray from PS Nene art for The Obvious but I think this one is really cute. Wauts he telling her. .. Runner-up would be this PA doodle:

>> Original Prompt Post <<

[aryastark-baratheon]

I would like to take a moment and say CONGRATULATIONS to Turkish television industry. You guys know your shit. I recently started watching all kinds of Turkish tv shows and BOY ARE THEY GOOD. They’re really more like soap operas and I hadn’t watched any of those in YEARS but I am loving all the shows I’ve watched so far! Sure, the world of turkish tv shows is a little ruthless. Apparently channels cancel shows and also kill off main characters without mercy or simply give the shows poor endings and don’t give two shits about the viewers, but still, overall, it’s been totally worth it. I especially want to say that I am still completely SHOOK AND AMAZED by “mrs. fazilet and her daughters”.

This was a LENGHTY show, ok? I usually don’t have the patience for so many episodes, and LONG ASS episodes too, but I ate this up so fast, I barely slept for two weeks. Of course this is a MELODRAMA on STEROIDS, like seriously, the amount of drama and problems is literally IMPOSSIBLE and at one point I just felt sorry for the poor characters 😂 they literally don’t have one single minute of peace until the very end. But, oh my GOD, it is absolute GOLD. I adore this kind of family drama, it had everything I love to see: first of all, GORGEOUS PEOPLE, TURKEY I APPLAUDE YOU FOR PRODUCING SUCH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. Second of all, truly one of the absolute BESTEST love stories and love triangles I have seen in my whole life. Also, intrigue, family issues, fake and real pregnancies, dangerous secrets, a fair amount of angry/jealous psychopaths, ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS AND PERFECT IN EVERY SENSE RESCUE SCENE, pretty damn good redemption arc, also a pretty fucking amazing and unexpected corruption arc (could have been better developed in the last episodes and had a better ending, but still pretty solid). I mean, it has so many good elements.

Of course the star of the show is without a single doubt Yagiz Egemen (look I don’t know how to use your Turkish letters k, so just bear with me). What a brilliant male characterization. Definitely one of my favorites EVER. This man is amazing and the reason why I’m 31 and single is because I am waiting for a man like Yagiz. He is such a lovable and REAL character. He is good, kind and honest. He has such an amazing sense of integrity, he’s loyal, he’s mature, he’s responsible. But he also has flaws, which makes him all the more amazing. Yagiz is a perfectly developed character in my opinion. A perfect hero. Obviously Hazan was just as much of an amazing heroine, which absolutely made me go out of my mind obsessed with this couple and their love story. I also loved Hazan’s character development and how she really grows into a more mature and confident woman throughout the show, without ever losing her essence. It’s truly beautiful and exciting to see how their story plays out. There are so many obstacles and it was truly high quality entertainment to see them overcome each and every one of them and end up together. I also loved that towards the end it’s Hazan who has to fight for them while Yagiz is pushing her away and not the other way around.

I have to say I also absolutely love what they did with Sinan. I mean, obviously Sinan is a despicable character and I went from sort of liking him in the beginning , to kinda disliking him towards the end of season 1, to straight up hating his fucking guts in season 2, but I loved that ultimately he became a villain. And a good one too. It was something that I really didn’t expect and loved to see play out, even though my first critic is that I think they dragged the show too much and left the best parts (i.e., Yagiz and Hazan finally admitting and confessing their love for each other and Sinan’s corruption arc) for the last 10/12 episodes, so I think they could have done a better job here, and given us more screentime of Yagiz and Hazan as an actual couple or at least trying to be a couple. My shipper heart was not so satisfied, but alas.

Now moving on to Ece. I love Ece. It’s really amazing to see how all of the characters really grew throughout the show. But I think Ece’s arc is the one with the most growth. She starts out as a weak-willed, way-too-naive-almost-kinda-dumb, also kinda shallow teenage, and ends up as a strong, kind, loyal and compassionate woman. I love Ece’s and Hazan’s relationship and I ADORED Ece’s and Yagiz’s relationship, especially in season 1. Things were rocky between them in season 2, but I loved the fact that Ece was the first one (after Yagiz, who already knew he was in deep shit at this point) to notice the HUGE, BLINDING sparks flying between Hazan and Yagiz and then obviously loved how she kept trying to bring them together and basically forced them to admit their feelings for each other. I MEAN SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT, AMIRIGHT? You go, Ece! I adored Ece’s relationship with Hazim. I don’t really like Hazim and think he was kind of a really shitty father in general (I feel empathy for him but he raised some SHITTY people man), but he was always pretty fucking amazing and incredibely kind with Ece and I found their relationship very sweet, however weird. I loved seeing their cumplicity, kindness and trust in each other.

Now, come @ me: I FUCKING LOVE YASEMIN. Is she kinda evil? Yeah. Is she totally ruthless? Yup. Did she cross all kinds of boudaries? Definitely. But, much like Gokhan, in the end, I don’t care. I don’t think she was justified, but her backstory just makes sense with her actions, alright? This is a woman willing to do everything to prevent herself from suffering what she’s already suffered in the past. Also she’s so fucking smart, beautiful and a baddass. And I always knew she truly loved Gokhan. I loved their ending.

Also, I really loved seeing how many things in common she has with Fazilet, who, last but no least, is an amazing character. She’s that sort of grey character that you simply can’t not love. Did I hate her and wish her dead when she started coming between Yagiz and Hazan? FUCK YEAH. But overall, I love her. She’s a strong and intelligent woman willing to do literally anything except killing, to achieve what she thinks is best for her daughters. Of course her mindless ambition and her ruthlessness becomes much more clear in the end. She is an extremely flawed, yet amazing character and the one thing I truly disliked in the ending was that there wasn’t a final scene with all them together as a family, and by them I mean Hazan, Yagiz, Ece, her baby and Fazilet. I’d really love to have seen that before her final scene on the boat which I thought was extremely powerful and the perfect way to end the show.

I felt like the ending was a bit rushed, like they suddenly decided to end the show and had to wrap everything up quickly in like one episode. I sorely missed a scene between Yagiz and Hazan actually saying “I love you” to each other like OUT LOUD and kissing. But overall, watching this whole show was an amazing experience and it was very much worth it. I loved every moment of it, it got me into the Turkish tv shows and it is right up there as my top favorite!

[notmoreflippingelves]

How a Hypothetical “Apollo Justice 2″ Would  Bridge the Gap between the Takumi and Yamazaki Eras (Part 1)

I actually had a post-nap/ half-awake clarity realization that a lot of (but not necessarily all) of people's complaints about DD (and  to a lesser extent SOJ ) being "bad"/"ooc"/wrong direction/too much of a re-set could actually be resolved fairly efficiently or at least be minimized significantly by a few minor rewrites to DD and the insertion of a hypothetical "new" game set between AJ and DD. As this post 1)  is very long, 2) has been sitting half-finished in my drafts for over six months now, I am going to break up my thoughts into at least 2 posts. 

Complaint 1: “Apollo has had pretty much nothing to do/barely any development/too much "backstory" and not enough other characterization.”

In hypothetical “Apollo Justice 2″ Apollo would be the main (if not the *only*) player character. This would center him more in the story than in the other games in which he appears. 

Even though it bears Apollo’s  name, AJ is much more "Phoenix, Trucy, and the Gavin brothers'" story than Apollo's. And DD is very much "Athena and Blackquill's" story, even though Apollo has more "playtime" than Athena in said story. And even though SOJ is technically Apollo's story (or at least his and Nayhuta's jointly), it can be hard to tell, given all the skipping around between player characters and/or locations.

Given the complaints that the creators keep throwing backstory tidbits at Apollo and hoping they'll stick, said game would not add anything to the exhaustive list of existing Apollo backstory. Instead, it would build upon/introduce earlier/provide context to the backstory we already have .

In essence, we would operate on a similar characterization model to what Miles Edgeworth goes through in  the Ace Attorney Investigations games.  That is to say...Apollo would still be the clear protagonist and undergo the most change/development...even when it's not "his" story and little to nothing is “added” to his existing backstory.  His development would come through an internal conflict or paradigm shift rather than an external one.

Similar to AAI 2 and its underlying themes of parenthood and family legacy, Apollo Justice 2 could focus on new  characters experiencing  abandonment/neglect and/or who feel mistrustful and betrayed by those around them. All of which would mirror Apollo’s own struggle to move on from abandonment and betrayal by his mentor figures (Dhurke, Phoenix, and Kristoph, most of all) . His primary arc/goal could be learning to trust again or reaching a point again where he finally feels “safe” at not being betrayed or abandoned again.

Apollo Justice 2 would also provide  a great opportunity to bring Clay into Apollo’s story a bit sooner to give his death in DD more context and resonance.. Maybe he's a witness (or even a temporary assistant if Trucy is busy "magic-ing").  In any case, he is a friend that Apollo has who is totally separate from law and/or the WAA, which gives him the unique opportunities to bring out Apollo’s “fun” side and more importantly, be a logical  person that Apollo can confide in about any frustrations/struggles/insecurities concerning WAA and/or lawyering and/or the Gavins.

Additionally, Thalassa/Lamiroir could return as a witness/assistant as well, and we could get some nice bonding moments  between her, Apollo, and Trucy.  There’s some lovely potential for situational irony with the players having the additional context that Apollo lacks. A uncomfortable moment where someone tells Thalassa she’s good with kids and would make a great parent if she wanted to. A poignant  moment where Thalassa confides that she’s afraid of being rejected by loved ones  that would provide a plausible explanation as to why she hasn’t revealed that she’s Apollo and Trucy’s mom yet.)  Perhaps even the opportunity for her to use the same “perceive” abilities she passed on to her kids (and Apollo remaining oblivious to the significance of this). 

Complaint 2:  “Why Introduce the MASON system /Jurist System if you’re Just Going to Abandon it?”

Personally, I don’t really have a problem with dropping the MASON system given some of the obvious ethical ramifications  (tfw you create a new legal system to settle a personal vendetta and are able to hand-pick the jury most likely to rule in your favor). 

 I’m willing to accept in the context of the game given that 1) it’s a cool narrative device/game mechanic and 2) we know Kristoph is guilty and the only way to take him down is to employ his own methods (legal loopholes and corruption of legal processes) against him.

But as I realize that I’m in the minority here, I think that revisiting the MASON system a few more times could provide a plausible canon explanation as to how and why it was abandoned. 

I think the best way to use the MASON system in AJ 2 is to have it be part of a “trial phase” of the new system.  Although it was used to great success in the Vera Misham trial, it seems unrealistic that the court would immediately pivot to every trial in the courts being presented in this way. 

A few “test cases” of MASON  would allow a more thorough evaluation of the system before a decision is made about whether to adopt it. Maybe 2-3 (out of 5) of the trials  in AJ 2 would be MASON cases and the others would be “regular” cases. And at the end of the game (and due to the corruptions found through the system), the decision is reached to abandon the system (perhaps leaving the door open to try it again in a few years once they figure out how best to fix the issues presented). 

In my mind, there are two obvious flaws in the Jurist System and/or MASON system (as it is presented in 4-4)  that are ripe for exploitation by unscrupulous persons. Either (or preferably both) of these problems could be presented in the context of Apollo Justice 2, and these potentially could end up being the canon-justification that the system is abandoned.

The first flaw  is the potential for jury tampering , perhaps through bribery (of jurors to rule a certain way and/or the judge/lawyers to accept a specific juror), and/or perhaps through extortion/blackmail/intimidation of jurors (think Maya’s kidnapping in 2-4 but instead, the jurors/their loved ones are  the ones being threatened). Or even just someone with connections/influence being able to “stack” the jury with their friends and allies (*cough Phoenix cough*) and thereby ensure the verdict they want. 

The second is the increased potential for evidence tampering. As we know, falsified and/or manipulated evidence is already a massive problem in the AA universe, and introducing new technology in the form of a “simulation recreation/game” like the MASON system just introduces an entirely new opportunity for evidence to be deleted, manipulated and/or fabricated in a way that predisposes one verdict over another. 

Given what we see in AJ,  I think it’s reasonable to assume the MASON system functions broadly similar to Kay’s “Little Thief” in the sense that information is fed into it by a person and a simulation/recreation is  therefore “created” based on that data. Now imagine that the person inputting that data  into the MASON system has something to hide. Consider how easy it would be for them to change the simulation in a way that intentionally implicated an innocent person and/or to erase/alter the evidence in a way that “proves” a guilty suspect is “innocent.” 

Either of the two above scenarios  has the potential for an exciting dramatic finale for AJ 2 while also providing context/explanations for the system’s absence in DD/SOJ. 

[ravenyenn19]

HI BEST FRIEND !!!!! Wishing you a speedy recovery 🫂

Here’s some questions about the show to keep you entertained!

1. What did you think of the scenes they brought in from soc and ck?

2. Your favourite Kanej scene from the show?

3. Do you think the writers read DWOD and it inspired them? 👀

4. What do you think of Inej leaving Ketterdam to find her brother?

5. Inej and Tolya…. do you think there’s something there? I personally don’t, I feel like it was a look of respect and I love the idea of her being with the twins! I feel like they’d respect and welcome her as a sister and they’d drop her off at Ketterdam and give her a matching necklace as a farewell gift.

In general, how did you feel about the show??

Wishing you a speedy recovery again 🥺❤️

(PS. What do you like for people to refer to you as here? Raven? Writer of the year? Writer of the century?)

Hi Lovely! <3 I'm sorry this is a bit late, the night I opened my asks I realized I didn't have my laptop charger, so the plan went downhill really quick... bahah. BUT! Thank you so much for asking these questions & being so supportive!!! Ily! <3 (also thank you for the well wishes! I am doing better & I appreciate you!!) SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE BOOKS & THE SHOW & MY FANFIC 'Dealing With Our Demons'. You've been warned<3

1.) SO... I already answered one question about the book scenes, or at least the Ferolind-esque one! I'll let that one stand as my answer, so I don't type another novel, but overall, I liked the direct scene adaptations. I think that a few changes specifically to higlight Inej's backstory & bring her to more of an equal footing on the screen w/ Kaz would have made those scenes weigh more for the viewers who have not read the books. The acting & characterization was incredible though! <3

2.) I think my favorite kanej scene from the show was actually one of the last. It was like 10 seconds long, outside right before the Chapel scene at the end. It was when Inej was walking back to the group from the fold and Kaz almost smiled before Jesper scooped her up in a hug. I know there is so much more to choose from, but this exact moment felt like ripping Kaz & Inej from the books. It felt so special. I feel that moment was when Kaz made the decision to admit his feelings to Inej. To say "I want you". (Honorable mention, the hallucination. Though, I have qualms about whether I think that was what Inej might have truly conjured at that moment. The reason this is a favorite of mine is actually because it felt like witnessing a scene from DWOD on screen. Kaz & Inej standing together, removing armor. it was so similar to chapter 17 "Bare Souls" of my fic in some way... that it felt like my soul lit up. *Kaz removes Inej's knives in that scene of my fic, very similarly*)

3.) I have no doubt the writers might have looked at fanfiction when first beginning the process of script molding. I am flattered that anyone might think they looked at DWOD. <3 (though I would literally faint if that was ever confirmed as fact!!).

There were certain moments that felt like seeing a snippet of DWOD on the screen, though so small I could not say for certain it was inspired or just coincidence! In Example, the instance I mentioned above. But also! In that same scene, Kaz says "We're here, Inej." and in multiple instances of DWOD those words are echoed or mirrored. Most notably, chapter 140 "Laughter In the Night." Inej says, "We're here." Kaz replies, "Yes, Inej. We made it here." <3 So that felt so cool to almost see on screen for a moment. Another example was actually in Shu Han, when Nina grips Kaz's bare hand and he immediately drowns. This is exactly the same thing that happens in DWOD but with Sharya Ghafa (inej's mother) before he confides in her parents about his sickness (ch.76, I believe). It was another moment I felt like seeing a moment of DWOD on screen, even a heart-breaking instance. <3 A third example was actually with Pekka. Having him get a final glimpse of his son, Alby, was not in the books. It was in DWOD though. I literally wish I could be in the writer's room with them for the SoC spinoff or S3. I'd sit on the floor for real.

4.) I think in this iteration of the story, it makes perfect sense for Inej to leave earlier than she might have in the books. Inej's brother is out there, and of course she would want to go find him at any cost & as soon as possible. <3 This change feels completely in character to me.

5.) Tolya and Inej... I could write a novel. BUT, to keep this short. I interpreted Tolya as are/ace in the books, and if that is in fact a correct interpretation, then I personally believe that representation should STAY. Aro/ace rep is hard to come by already & I really hope they would not change his character just to maximize drama. So, I think that look can easily be read as respect, kinship. Nothing more. However, if I am wrong, I think there is a lot they could do with that, specifically a correctional sort of route to bring Inej's story to the forefront with Kaz's.

I know I am long winded, so I am sorry for the novel <3 I'm just excited to talk with you all about our fandom<3 Thank you again for being here!

ps- You are too sweet. Ily. Raven works, though for those who don't know, it's actually a penname I chose when beginning to post! My real name is Anna, and that works too. <3

ALSO I do have a three part review of the show up on my tiktok for those who are interested. It does go more in depth! (@ravenyenn19 on tiktok)

[enjolras-out]

What do you think about this most recent update? (You don't have to answer if you're busy.)

I am so busy! But not too busy for update!! Thank you for the ask! I have SO many thoughts… here are some:

Hyrule! He comes across as so tough and confident, teasing and pushing Twi and refusing to let him give up. Especially based on the previous update, I’m pretty sure his bravado is an act – he’s putting on a brave face to try and give Twi that tiny bit extra moral support but we already know he feels helpless and doesn’t know what to do but he’s TRYING. Being able to see the character development between the earliest doodles where he’s so insecure about his place in the group and here, where he deliberately takes a leading position in this scene both physically and emotionally, is amazing!

(there was a tiny part of me that was kinda hoping he'd get in on the hurt/comfort by exhausting himself trying to heal Twilight but that was nodded to by the stamina potion thing and also it would have messed up the focus of the scene... so fair enough. I can wait a little longer for my Hyrule angst)

I was actually super close to making a post analyzing/exploding about that one BOTW flashback panel where Wild is climbing the cliff but then I realized I was the only one who cared about how Jojo actually makes the fun but totally ridiculous BOTW climbing style look like it would actually work and ALSO drew his right hand in an excellent half crimp and ALSO how you can see his fingers are literally bleeding and this is super realistic especially when you consider the sheer size of those cliff-faces. I love how she depicted so well the visceral effort it would actually take to climb one and I guess now I’ve sort of made the post. Sorry. Rambling.

That moment at the end where Time claps Wild’s shoulder is so beautiful. Wild looks like he’s not sure whether Time’s going to tell him off and then Time just says ‘thank you’ and Wild looks so happy. The kind of passing of the torch from Time to Twilight to Wild just gives me all the emotions.

And LEGEND. Cradling his hat like a comfort blanket. And reminding Twilight they’ve got to go fishing one of these days. May I suggest the hc that Legend used to go fishing with his uncle when he was little. I love this hint that even these two have managed to build a relationship despite being so different.

And Four clearly still doesn't know what to make of Wild. Even when the others are laughing he's giving Wild worried looks. Is he scared Wild will give away his secret? Or still (at least one quarter) mad?

Finally - 'this fire burning in my blood, I can feel it'. Is it just me or does that not sound so much like someone dying of fever as someone aware something evil is inside them, maybe trying to possess or corrupt them from the inside out? Maybe it's just me. Still think evil Twilight could happen and it would be so much more angsty now after they've all reunited around his deathbed...

So much is happening and there are so many beautiful details with so much characterization in them! I still don't know if Twilight is actually on his way to healing or not? I think something really bad might happen next update? But it's all kind of on a knife edge for me, could go either way?!

[kthynes]

the caller you have reached (chris evans x reader)

pairing: chris evans x fem!reader

summary: chris was trying to drunkenly call the woman he loved and wanted to get back with but instead he reaches you, a shrink.

warning: swearing (sailor level), brief mentions of mental health

**IMPORTANT disclaimer: I won't be dabbling into the hard hitting topics of mental health in this short only because I'm not a certified health professional and so I can't be providing a written, unbiased, often characterized diagnosis towards any sort of mental health disorder because really, those types of sensitivities need proper care and output. With that being said, I do want to emphasize the notions of seeking help and not being afraid to seek help when needed. It's hard, but we all fight a battle and no battle is big or small or better or worse.

If my followers or readers do feel the need to privately chat with me, I'm here and I can you lend you an ear. Otherwise let's be kind and uplift another while we can. No harm in doing good and being better, that's for sure!

-end rant-

This short is dedicated to the following lovelies:

@princess-evans-addict

@mrs-djokovic

@slut-for-chris-evans

@saltyflowermakertaco

@bitchyslut99

@patzammit

@itskikiyooo

@maximeevansblog

Being a working adult is dreadful but the work you do is the most fulfilling kind of anarchy. You are a therapist, you work to heal and you work together with people who willingly reach out to you and your facility of care. There is that balance, the altering nuances in between that allows you to do what you do best. You advocate for good prosperity of mental health and accolade of teachable moments that fosters a safe space for your clients, not patients, but the people who deserve to be heard and not be medically categorized.

Your salubrious passion keeps you grounded. In your lifetime, you've seen the imperial impacts of poor mental health and it has been a detrimental drive in how you retreat and give back to a small found community.

"Okay." You exhale to yourself while leafing through another client chart. You're working off the clock, stuck in the renaissance of your homey office space while the outside world turns pitch black.

In the appropriate fields you jot down important takeaways from your last sit in session with heavy concertation and reasoning, you try to congregate a treatment plan all before you cellphone cries for you in venturous fashion.

"Hello?" You answer without checking the caller ID, tucking the device between your ear and shoulder so that way you could work and talk.

"Jenny!" The man boisterously shouts. "Jenny baby please talk to me! Let me make it up to you, let's just do this right, please. I'm fucked up here."

"I'm sorry but you have the wrong number." You infringe sounding like the posh, automated answering machine lady.

"Oh what the fuck Jenny — oh cah'mon don't do that, don't be like that baby." You re-verify a local number and it doesn't belong to anyone you know of. So you wonder who this man is but choose not to press further instead you tell him what is right from the knowing wrong.

"I'm not Jenny."

"Seriously?" He yells, forcing you to hold the phone away from your ear. "That can't be... This is—" He recites the number that is similar to yours but the last two digits are off.

"You got 42, not 53." It's an easy mistake to recall, a swipe of a drunken thumb could've mixed that up, so this time around, you're forgiving. Not that it happens often.

"Oh no. That's—" The mystery man trails, something about his voice discerns you, it's familiar but in a hindbrain way that you can't put a finger on. "Fuuuuuuuck."

"Wait hold on, hold up, is this Jenny's assistant, Nina?" You exhale sharply sometimes it takes more than one try and a side of convincing to get your point across and your passiveness was certainly to blame.

"No I'm not her assistant either."

"Then who the hell are you?" He exasperates. You make the snide mistake of telling him your name and he buffers for a bit.

"Oh. So you really aren't anyone of my concern then?"

"No." You mildly retort. "I wouldn't want to be anyways."

"Okay well I'm not sorry then because I'm here trying to reach my girlfriend and I can't get to her because I have you on the line being a smartass." With that accent of his you can tell he's a patriotic Bostonian. One of your own kind and that furloughs your need to engage in this mindless drivel, it wouldn't get you or him anywhere. At least that's what you tell yourself before shutting him down.

"Well then maybe you should learn to listen first, how about that?" You snap, dropping your pen before you note down angry nonsense into your actual work.

"Hey nowwww!" He yells as if he's trying to be Hank Kinsley.

"It's clear that you're drunk."

He brushes you off on the other end, enigmatic in what he wants you to know. "This is Chris Evans, you're talking to Chris-motherfucking-Evans, you hear?"

"I do now." You say tersely.

"Good." He huffs. "Good... Cause you know I'm in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and this is what I get. This is what I seemingly deserve, god you women I swear..."

Your face changes. You don't agree to be a lending ear but somehow Chris forces you to hear him out.

"I told her Y/N. I TOLD her that I wasn't ready to take the next step but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with her. And now she throws it back in my face by getting with some other guy she once dated back in high school. And somehow, I'm supposed to be ok with it and move on, as she tells me. How the hell am I supposed to do that, huh?"

"I, um, I don't know what to tell you." You sigh somberly.

"Of course you don't!" His Boston twang begins to nerve you as there some remitting frequency of it. Hearing him obnoxiously go off, reminds you of all your shrewd New England exes who were his exact counterpart when soused. A ludicrous memory that you relive again with time and perfect harmony.

"Listen lady all I'm saying is that I fucked up. I know I did alright? I mean it doesn't take much denominational math and the plot of Lost in Translation to get that. I get it!"

Jesus. You whisper the lords name in vain as you lean your forehead against the palm of your hand while your elbow rested on top of the desk.

"So, let me get this straight, you think yelling at a random woman will help get further?" You question a little acutely for his liking.

"I don't know but it sure as hell takes off the heat, sweetheart." Something about a man calling you sweetheart grinds your gears and now your molars.

"Okay, alright, let's talk." You begin, sitting up a bit and tearing out a blank page from your memo pad; you were doing a late night consultation, a small hash out.

"Schuwaaaaa." Chris enunciates the word sure and to much of his mayhem, he’s sprawled out on the curbside, somewhere in the nowhere land of L.A. He contented but also upset and you were simply crashing his little pity party.

"What is it that you want from Jenny?" You professionally prod. "How about we start there."

"Wooooah, what is that we're doing here?” Chris gets mildly defensive with you. “I dunno you like that. If we're gonna talk then you'll have to get through my publicist first because right now I plead the fifth.”

You exhale a deep and fulsome breath. No one troubles you like him. It's sanctimoniously unnerving.

"I'm a shrink, my job isn’t meant to incriminate my clients well-being, or anyone else’s for that matter.” You address calmly. “So, if you do require some solicited advice then we can keep this call under strict confidence. You have my word, Mr. Evans and the paperwork that will follow shortly after this call.”

Silence. There is some shocking silence which is brief before you're catapulted with disbelief and more cackles. "Holy mother fucking shit. You're kidding me?"

"I can run you by my credentials if you’d like?” You mention stiffly.

"God I’ve reached a cuckoo hotline!" Wrong. That's a horrible thing to say and you'd think a man like him would've been more sensitive about his choice of words, inebriated or not.

"Far from it."

"Tell me something, alright? How many grown, adult men come crying to you?" Chris is edging with curiosity even though his eyes are betrayingly reddened after crying into a bottle of Dewars 18. He doesn't make that known to you and you never cared to ask.

"Enough to know that they cry." You simply state.

"Huh. So this is just another Tuesday for you then.” Chris scoff, the bottle making it to his lips and then swishing back down again.

"Comes with the territory except I don't tolerate drunkenness." You motely add. "Can you keep the bottle aside for the time being? Just until we're done here."

"That's understandable and oh yeah sure, sure, I won't touch it." You can hear the glass bottle 'clink' when coming into contact with the pavement.

"Now tell me about Jenny." You softly inquire.

"What do you wanna know? How we fuck or how we met?" Chris giggles like a naughty school yard boy.

"How did you two meet?" You slam the words urgently, nearly spelling out the cause.

"Oh! Oh. We met on the job." Chris chuckles punitively.

"Okay and did you guys connect instantly or was there a slow build up?" You involuntarily took notes for any PR rep of his that wanted solid evidence that would preside this call, cover your bases and your poor ass along with it.

"Instantly. Our chemistry read was off the charts." He explains with a slight hiccup. "Sorry."

"Great. So it was more so a work relationship that later grew into something more correct?"

"Pretty much."

"So when did you start developing feelings for her?"

"Um I'd say..." Chris tucks his chin, burps and then excuses himself before continuing. "Just before we wrapped up filming. But then I think somewhere in between all that I realized that she was my kind of girl, my... better half."

"And what made you come to that realization?"

"Well for one she has this infectious laugh that would have you laughing with her, there's that sound of beauty and pureness to it. And then with that, there were all the little things she'd do for me that made me think, like damn she's the one, she's it for me and that for better or for worse, I'd need her more than she'd ever need me."

Chris gets sad and you feel for him. Your pen stops moving when you were about to prescribe him some mind memory exercises. He was human. Humans hurt. Humans make mistakes. Humans stray but they also love. That's all Chris did. He loved with all of his heart to not expect the same love in return.

"You know Chris, we don't always get the love we deserve and sometimes its sucks. Sometimes you wanna kick it back with a bottle of Dewars 18 and shake your fists in the air." Chris quietly perks up at your choice of alcohol that you didn't know he was forcefully downing. He fashions a small half smile that you don't see but hear faintly. "But there's also a time and a place and things happen, people come apart, people get together, people do people and there's that fine line of letting life run its uneven course."

"I mean you sometimes have to not be okay to be okay again and I know that from my many years of helpful healing. It gets okay, never fully better and I think that's just how it is. You acknowledge your pain, your trauma and then you go on while being mindful of that transition."

"Wow."

"Hey, um, look, I actually have to get going. But if you can, just down the rest of that bottle and get yourself home."

"Are you sure?" Chris gawks.

"I mean you were already halfway through and it's not like I can physically stop you, right? And besides this is what I'm prescribing to you. I want you to acknowledge your pain, drink away your sorrows and then smash that bottle so you can be relieved from that trauma and hurt. After that you need to fix up and start new, have a mature conversation with her, if you can and then have your feet hitting the ground again. Don't fall into the routine of heartbreak even if it becomes too hard, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good." You sniff and start to put things away. "I know you're a good guy Chris, from how you are on TV and in interviews, I'm amazed by how articulate you are. You have the right mindset so I have no doubts that you'll fall back in any way. But if you do, please don't hesitate to reach out, I might have to hand you off to another cohort but nonetheless it can be worked out even if it does feel like you might be sparring on your own. You'll get the help you need."

"Great, thanks." Chris responds in his conscious state of thought. He feels pathetic with himself and that doesn't have you galling over the fact, instead you let him be.

"Do you need me to order you an Uber? Cab? Call a friend for ya?" You laugh easily and Chris hears it clearly, smiling in return.

"An Uber would be nice. I'll try to share you my location."

"Sure, on me and that'd be great."

"Thanks."

"No problem... And your ride should be here in two minutes, just look out for Raul in black Elantra." You inform him after checking your phone.

"Nice."

"You have a goodnight now Chris."

"You too." The line cuts and you're given a piece of your life back. You gather your belongings, flip off the light switch and make your way home. There's some truth and some brokenness in every situation. You knew Chris was going to be OK even if he didn't consult you afterwards. For you, there was no need. He's a smart man and he proves this over a prolonged period of time when he finally finds himself back on the market and then eventually in a relationship with a faceless and very loving woman from his own hometown.

He was finally happy, making you serendipitously glad that you were the caller he had reached.

[durotoswrites]

AO3 Stats Quiz

Thank you for tagging me, @emeraldhaze15! 🥰 I forgot there’s a statistics page on Ao3, so it’s been a long time since I’ve looked at it.

➼ What is your total posted word count on AO3?

699,121. That reminds me that I need to move more of my works from fanfiction.net onto Ao3.

➼ How often do you write?

I typically write at least once every few days, with varying degrees of success.  Writing’s been coming slowly lately, but using a sprint bot has helped me stop overthinking what I put down.  Sometimes I just need that extra little push.

➼ Do you have a routine for writing?

I like to have something to drink at my side, along with some chill music playing in the background.  I will change the music to suit the mood if I’m writing something more dramatic, but relaxing typically works best for me.  Lately, I’ve been using sprint bots and write in a few fifteen minute bursts.  When I’m editing or thinking of new ideas, I don’t have a timer going.

➼ What are your favourite tropes/pairings?

Oooh, I have a lot that I enjoy, honestly.  This list is just a taste of the things I like, hehe.

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort, slow burn, friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, found family, angst with a happy ending, fluff, fluff with substance

Pairings: I don’t think it’s any secret that I love Cliff x Claire as my OTP. Outside of that, I have lately been really enjoying mixing the pairings all around.  I like canon pairings, rare pairs, and I adore unexpected pairings that are written very convincingly!  As long as they can have some fun chemistry, I have fun dabbling and playing around with the possibilities.

➼ Do you have a favourite fic of yours?

The Shy Newcomer has so much of myself, my heart, my life, and my experiences intertwined into it that I’d feel wrong picking anything else.  It is truly a labor of love.

➼ Your fic with the most kudos?

The Shy Newcomer.  I’m not really surprised, since it’s the one I have had around for so long.  I’m so grateful that people enjoy it 💖

I’m a little surprised that the story with the second most is the first lemon I wrote with my OTP.  😳 I look back on it and feel like some of the language was a little clunky, but thank you all for being so nice about it! 

➼ Anything you don’t like about your writing?

Ack, this is a dangerous question, as I tend to spiral when I don’t feel confident.  That’s got to count as one thing I don’t like about my creative process.  For the writing itself, I do wish that I could stop overthinking while drafting and being paranoid people will dislike what I write.  It’s not perfect, but whose writing is?  I have a few phrases I lean on too heavily and am constantly having to find them and weed them out.  I’m sure there are other phrases I’m aware I use a lot, hehe.  

I often struggle connecting scenes.  That’s honestly what takes the longest to write – how to get from one scene to the next.  I can also be a little redundant while writing as well to really drive a point home.  I often fear that the words I use are too common and boring and I wish my style were a little more poetic.

➼ Now something you do like?

Another tough question. 😅 I really love writing mental dialogue, and when I receive comments that readers can relate to my characters, it makes my heart soar.  I feel that characterization in my strong suit, and I really strive to make my characters feel like real people.  I love capturing the excitement, joy, pain, disappointment, and everyday moments in life and putting all those feelings into my story.  

Tags: @quartzfox @hikamaus, @krosaceae, @sketch-witch, @chickchickee​, @forgetmenotboys​, and anyone else who would like to play!  (My brain hasn’t woken up yet today and I’m sure I left a bunch of people out ^-^;)

[kyluxtrashpit]

I appreciate your apology - honestly, I have not been following anything about the poll outside of just watching the results, so I don't know what drama has or has not been done outside of it. I don't know what people outside the fandom are saying because I don't pay attention to them. So I was unaware of the context of the statements

(I'm also putting the rest behind a cut for length)

I do appreciate the extra screenshot though - that does show different than I recall. Now, it doesn't change the sudden shifts I saw or what other people have told me in confidence, but perhaps they weren't as drastic as I first thought. That would actually be comforting. I would much rather people not be botting - that's why I made the post. I was upset that people, especially MY people, could be stooping so low. I would expect better of the fandom than to do so and that's why I made the post - we ARE better than that and I will take action to show it. I do not want to be right about this!!! I would MUCH rather be wrong, because that would at least restore my faith in fandom

I do agree nothing can be said with 100% certainty. In fact, unless someone confesses, we will likely never know for certain if bots were/are being used or if everything is above board - and that's true for all the characters, really. I have been open about this since the beginning that I do not have concrete proof, but I have enough evidence that makes me suspicious. I've received a lot of dms and asks since making the initial post, some in agreement, some in disagreement, and it seems for the moment people are pretty split on what they believe. That's simply the situation

Truly, I don't think we will agree on this. I saw what I saw, others saw what they say, and heard what they heard. That's it. If that's not enough for you, that's fine. You really are 100% free to say 'no, I don't think you're right'

I do however... strongly disagree with the rest of the statement. I think fandom integrity is FAR more important than a fragile unity based around bad behaviour. You say there were already people outside the fandom saying that something unsavoury was going on - what's better, in that case? To deny, even if it is happening? Because it could be, regardless of what the accusation is. Do you know every single person in the fandom personally? Are you aware of the conduct of every single one? No one can be

Or do you accept that it could be happening and make it abundantly clear that if it is, these are the actions of one person and not the fandom as a whole by speaking out? And thus making it clear that if it IS indeed happening, that person does not speak for us? That we thoroughly denounce anyone who could be doing that, because we are not the kind of fandom that enables that kind of behaviour?

I think the second option is the best, personally. And that's exactly why I made the post I did. It upset me deeply to even think my fellows would behave in such a way. Perhaps I could've been more tactful, but I absolutely also did not expect it to spread as far as it has either

Because if your initial reaction is 'well it's 100% for sure IMPOSSIBLE' then you're forgetting that some people, even in a fandom you enjoy, may not be acting in a way that's befitting the rest of the fandom. I've seen bad actors in both this fandom and others do MUCH worse than botting a poll, and I will not allow those kinds of people to speak for or represent us either. I am not the type to make targeted call out posts, saying 'oh this user is bad for doing xyz'. I would never, ever do that unless they are doing things that are genuinely dangerous or harmful (you can check my post history - I have literally never done so), because it invites harassment. However saying 'hey, it seems people are doing this - can we please not?' is not targeted unless the person reading it is, in fact, doing what I'm talking about

I also disagree with the characterization of kylux as an unpopular ship because.. yes, a lot of people dislike it, but it is the second most popular ship on ao3 for all of Star Wars as a franchise. The fandom is smaller than it once was due to time and other factors, but we are still not some small rarepair either

Also I did not answer in bad faith - I am either misremembering the number or the timestamp.I was wrong lmao, not lying - I stated outright I didn't know exactly when it was. I already said I don't have specific screenshots. I did not think to take them until after it had already happened, at which point it was too late. And because I was working all day after a week off, a working day that had a lot more happening than usual, I literally didn't even see the poll that ended today, so there was no opportunity for me to look at it. Ideally, I'd love to set an auto-refresh for every 2 minutes and record the screen for the full last 2 hours of the poll to see what happens. I don't think I will ever have the time to do that and honestly, it's not that important. Even though I think botting a poll is a bad thing to do, it's not like it's life or death. And I would've let this rest like, long ago if not for me logging in to like 30 notifications between asks and dms during my work day. I'm happy to let it drop anytime. I've said my piece

And my ultimate point is that I think good fandom etiquette means being willing to say something if something seems off, even if people don't want you to. I had multiple people, both before my initial post and after, come to me privately sharing their concerns as well. They were too afraid to post about it because they knew people would be angry at even the suggestion. Which, I mean, this kind of response is exactly why people are scared to speak up - accusations, anger, etc. I don't blame them, and that's also why I can't share some of the information they gave me that also influenced why I think someone out there has acted in an unsavoury manner, as it could compromise their identities. I'd rather take the heat and be called wrong or a liar or whatever than expose them. And I might be wrong! I've said that like a dozen times at this stage. I still don't regret making the post though because if it is true, then I've made it known that my stance is firmly not with that person(s) who is doing it. And perhaps even convinced them to stop

Anyway, ultimately, I think we agree on these things:

1) that we will never be able to know for sure unless someone outright says 'yes it happened, I know because I did it' and right now it's a matter of whether you think there's enough reason to have a suspicion or not

2) we have a fundamental disagreement on what the right thing to do is in the case of people in the fandom possibly engaging in behaviour we don't agree with

This is fine. We don't have to agree further and I don't think we will at this point

Sooo, I’m not sure if this will make you feel any better about the whole poll drama disappointment, but I thought I’d let you know where I think some of this may have originated from and why I think the bots rumor started rather than there actually being bots (though I will get to that too).

(as a disclaimer: I’m speaking only from what I’ve seen from my neck of the (kylux) fandom woods; there could absolutely be other people involved that I’ve simply seen nothing from)

A person, who happens to ship kylux but has promoted to all fandoms with that character, has been having fun with the ‘hottest SW man poll’. They’ve been reblogging links to it along with entertaining little edits to promote their favorite character with the hope of getting people to take part in the vote. Now obviously they’re voting for that character themself, but anyone who happens to see the post are no more obligated than anyone else who reblogs/sees the poll to vote for that person’s preference. (I’m a kyluxer too, and I love both of them, but despite the promotions I still didn’t vote for him because that’s not my opinion for ‘hottest SW man’) And I don’t know about you, but I’m sure there have been many people, myself included, who have voted in a poll someone they follow reblogged for something that person liked and, despite not having a stake in it personally, cast said vote in deference to them. I’m sure that happened in some cases with this situation, however I’m also sure part of what happened is that fans who’d have otherwise never seen the poll were able to cast their vote (I’m in this category as I don’t follow these sorts of blogs at all), as well as – because it was put out in a fun, silly way – led them to vote when they might not have cared to bother otherwise.

Now, I do agree it’s kinda stretching the general spirit of these polls, however what they’ve been doing is only really different in that they’ve been adding character edits along with multiple reblogs in an attempt to make it a silly little attention-grabbing promotion thing rather than merely a reblog or two of the poll. Again, I do think it’s been a bit much, but I will say I can appreciate the enthusiasm of someone who thought they were having fun in their fandom with a simple ‘for fun’ fandom related poll. Another consideration to make is that this person might be new to these things (and/or tumblr in general), which could be a reason for it as well. Plus, different people are going to react to and participate in things in different ways, and sometimes those ways differ from the norm enough to cause a stir despite no ill will or actual ‘rule breaking’ meant.

Nevertheless, that isn’t botting. I can see why people might feel it’s a little unfair even if it’s only exaggerating behavior people already naturally have with polls. I can also certainly understand why it could lead to some people getting rubbed the wrong way and then feeling upset, thus further leading to a sense of drama and subsequent botting rumors (and the origin person being a kylux shipper leading to the kylux fandom as a whole being scapegoated). But still, that’s not the same as botting. In the end, neither you nor anyone else are obligated to no longer be upset simply because of this explanation. That’s your right and you don’t have to like this any more than genuine botting, I just wanted to clarify a potential source.

However, if there IS real botting, that’s indeed an absurd thing for someone to be doing for a simple poll. Perhaps someone got out of hand because of the above person’s promoting; perhaps it’s just a rumor started because some people simply weren’t expecting the character to receive enough votes to persist in the poll – and hey, everyone’s got their own preferences and opinions on ‘hotness’, but the fact a character some don’t think should be lingering over others has endured so long doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a conspiracy. Of course, I’m sure there are people who also have their own opinions on what might constitute ‘botting’ and have considered what I described to be in that category. Which is totally fine too. I personally disagree, but that’s merely my opinion and no one else has to accept it. For the most part, I merely believe this was a situation that got a little out of hand and led to a bit of drama that’s now negatively painting people who meant no harm – because it IS just a fun little fandom poll.

As for the numbers bumping in seemingly large chunks upon refreshing (I don’t even know how you could see individual numbers for an individual character???), I can only guess at how these polls bring in the numbers in order to calculate percentages, both continuous and final. Is it in delayed chunks? Is it really one by one by one exactness??? Perhaps a combination of both, somehow??? While on your end it might appear to be an immediate change after your vote (so a one by one idea), upon a refresh it might ACTUALLY be registering assorted votes in collected chunks, altering the newly refreshed percentage in a way that might seem huge based on what it was before/after your vote, but actually isn’t due to a collected recalculation of ALL new votes. And by individual character numbers, I’m not talking about that character's percentage, which is a percentage of a whole being recalculated upon that refresh. A whole which shifts percentages up and down throughout as the vote total increases regardless of minutes or hours. For a long-term example: he could be at a 13% high at one point because a number of that character’s voters voted around that time, heightening his numbers amongst the pool of votes, then a few hours later is at a 5% low because even more overall votes have come in since and his were few to none, and then later up to 9% as another batch of his voter’s participated. These ‘batches’ ostensibly have more to do with time zones/people online seeing the poll post and not botting. And in the short term you can apply this concept but with the ‘batches’ being overall votes that happen to have some chunks for that character mixed in.

Honestly, I don’t know if any of that is fully true or not; I’m just going off general observation of the polls and vaguely educated(?) guesswork. I could be totally wrong and that stupidly long paragraph is nonsense. Really this whole seemingly suspicious numbers thing is something I’d not seen or heard about at all until your post, so...I’ve no idea there. If botting is happening, and someone did get out of hand with this, I think it’s likely piggybacking off this above person’s attempt at fun engagement, thus tainting and casting blame on said person and, in particular, their ship fandom (which is quite unfair as not all his fans come from kylux, or even from pairings to begin with). And if there isn’t botting and it’s all a misunderstanding, then it’s still doing that to this person and the kylux fandom because of people’s upset and blame shifting onto the biggest pairing he’s in. Either way, it’s just a really unfortunate turn of events. (of course, I’m still merely speaking from my neck of the woods, there could be other stuff going on outside it that I don’t know anything about.)

In short, I suppose I just wanted to say: hey, it’s sad to see you (and others) feeling upset or disheartened by potential botting in a simple SW fandom poll with the potential origin being a kyluxer, and maybe this could help at least give you a different viewpoint and understanding of what might be going on behind the scenes. Still, yet again, neither you nor anyone else has to care about or agree with anything I’ve said, I simply felt a desire to do so as a follower of you, awareness of this poll, and a kyluxer myself.

So first off, I do appreciate your thoughtful response! And I'll clarify a bit on what I was talking about and why I made the statement. Now I will admit that I do not have 100% concrete proof of anything, what I have is my own observations, those observations confirmed by others, plus some information that is admittedly rumour, but is from people I trust who aren't the type to start shit and wouldn't say anything unless it was something they'd personally seen or had no reason to doubt

And I don't think recruiting friends outside the fandom to vote is botting or any other kind of cheating - it's not, everyone does that, I don't think that's an issue at all and is within fairness. What I'm talking about is actual botting, using fake accounts to vote. Which, if you have either the programming know how or a bit of money to pay for a bot that's pre-made, is a lot easier than people think it is. I know how one could do it manually, but I do not know enough about programming to automate it (and I won't explain how, because then it might give more people ideas lmao). I don't think this is widespread either, like one single person with the know how can 100% make hundreds accounts and have them vote within a few minutes. And, if they've ever botted a poll before, it's even faster because the accounts may have already been made

So it started with me watching the poll near the end (I voted within the first couple hours of it being posted, but I was curious how it would turn out). I refreshed with 45-60 minutes left and saw 'oh Hux is gonna lose, okay, too bad but it is what it is' because he was at ~8% and the next lowest was Anakin, who was just under 12%. As the time ticked down, I refreshed again and saw a sudden shift, which surprised me. At that point, I started refreshing every minute or so because it kept going, every refresh was a big jump even at that frequency. Within less than 10 minutes (I don't recall the exact timeframe, but it was very fast, too fast), the total vote count had increased by about 300 or so and I watched it surge with every refresh. The vast majority of these votes, if not all of them, were for Hux as his percentage was the only one that increased significantly (the rest increased by less than a full percentage point, if they didn't decrease)

So while you can't see how many votes went for each person, polls do have the total vote count at the bottom and you can see the percentages, so you can tell if there's a sudden increase in overall votes and if those affect on particular vote choice more than any other. Which is why I found this suspicious because that many votes, that quickly, overwhelmingly for one option, it's highly unlikely it was done by real humans. Plus, we've all seen what happens with big polls both here and on twitter - people have literally paid like $200 to bot polls before and it seems sadly to just be becoming something people do

After I saw that jump, I went and talked to some friends in a private discord we use for chatting and some of them, too, had been watching the poll and having similar suspicions to myself. A more tech-savvy one said this is the kind of increases that are consistent with the use of bots. A couple of people also mentioned they had heard people talking about botting, but weren't sure if that was a joke or not (and it may have been, even if there was botting, it may not have been these people). I can't reveal much more without compromising the identities of my friends, who didn't want to speak out about their suspicions because they don't want to get targeted or anything. I am far beyond caring about that lmao, so I chose to say something about it because idk this kind of thing just really irritates me and as a kyluxer for a very long time, I feel like it's the duty of people in a fandom to call out bad behaviour of our fellows in a rational, non-harassing way

Now, again, I admit none of this is concrete proof. And if I'm wrong and everything was above board and someone did manage to conjure a few hundred people all at the same time at the last minute, well, that's genuinely miraculous like unbelievably so lmao, so good for them. If so, I'll rescind the post, apologize, and go back to having fun. But from the pov of statistics, what I saw myself, what my friends saw, and the added rumours, like. I have to say that actual botting seems far more likely to me. You're welcome to disagree, or think this isn't enough evidence to say it for sure happened, but I wanted to say something regardless because if someone is botting, or even just thinking about it, maybe pointing it out will shame them into stopping so we can go back to having fun

I hope you're right and it wasn't happening, and hell, it may not have even been a kyluxer if it was (there are non-kylux Hux fans out there), but I just find it hard to believe it wasn't happening at this point between what I saw, what others saw, and what I heard. And I think it's better to point out fandom bad behaviour than let it continue unchecked. I refuse to let that kinda shit happen if I can do something about it

[randomidiocyncrazies]

gwitch ep 3

lmao what the FUCK is going on anymore

the writing for this ep is really. hm. decent concept, questionable execution? they’re too blatant when they should’ve been subtle, and i personally found one of there character’s characterization a little... inconsistent, both from their established background and just their behavior within the episode itself.

i’m willing to see more of it but like. hm. i’m less confident in the writing after this ep

I personally found the climax of Guel’s arc in this ep kind of... confusing? he’s obviously upset that his dad doesn’t trust him enough to let him fight without resorting to underhanded tricks, and the resignation of “you don’t even need my will, do you” was a really poignant character moment...

But like. maybe i’m just being nitpicky, but his previous behavior suggests that he’s cool with using his family’s influence to throw his weight around; hell, the writing makes it soooo blatant that their world and values run on “screw the rules i have money.” I get that piloting is his pride and joy and he’ll care more about using his own skills to win, but he he didn’t seem all that upset about the sprinkler sabotage... making his rebellion against his dad feel hollow.

i mean... i really liked the character beat of him being resigned to having the AI pilot for him, and his “you don’t even need my will” is so sad and bitter (and perfectly illustrates the themes of the narrative). from that, we can extrapolate that Guel and his family are perhaps resigned to obeying his father’s will—he’d have been raised to believe that obeying the will of the strong, reluctantly or otherwise, is the only possible outcome. As such, his rebellion in the middle of the match feels like clumsy writing; it felt like he had that specific reaction at that specific moment because the plot demanded it. i think it flattened a potentially more subtle character arc into “rarrrgh hell yeah rebellion now! stick it to the man!” and comes off as rushed development.

(also, the proposal at the end is very. uh okay that happened i guess. i feel like they’re going for a “arrogant jerk but surprisingly pure in romance” angle for him, and i’m wary of it lol. i don’t think Suletta/Guel is really a serious option, except if Guel performs a sacrifice to save her or whatever, but the whole thing feels like they’re trying to absolve Guel for his beastly behavior towards Miorine? i’m just not a fan of “jerk falls for a girl who made him eat humble pie” stories; a lot of those stories try to brush the jerk’s wrongdoing under the carpet in light of their flustered ladykiller-in-love shenanigans, and I’m kinda tired of that.

also:

knowing Guel will be pining over Suletta is gonna get real annoying real fast, not to mention the unknown factor of Elan. it also doesn’t exactly inspire confidence that the creators aren’t queerbaiting, though i still have faith that it’s not just bait.)

on another note, i get that all the blatantly evil adults are very blatantly evil, but it’s annoying to have the same over-the-top “mwahahaha children are just tools of their parents!” conversation multiple times. it doesn’t help that the dialogue is a kinda cringeworthy, especially having come off of Delling “I am a King; I Give the Orders, You Obey” Rembran last week. we get it, these parents are evil.

also, the way everyone was like “teehee it doesn’t matter if Jeturk cheated, the only thing that matters is their sponsor” was also kind clumsy in terms of its execution? bro we get it, we know capitalism is bad. just have Elan say the thing about how the strength of the backer counts towards the pilot’s strength (and have other characters share little smirks or whatever at appropriate moments). it’s disappointing that they virtually repeat the same dialogue at least 3 times across the episode.

honestly, it’s like the writers are scared that the audience wouldn’t pick up on the central themes of the work without having characters SCREAMING in our faces about it; i personally am not a fan of this style of writing and prefer a lighter touch, but part of it is personal taste.

the only thing revealed/reinforced in this ep is that the setting of Gwitch is blatantly sexist. They specifically mention trading women in duels, and obviously Miorine’s situation is steeped in sexism—and unless we get in-universe evidence that people also set up their sons to be won as a prize, it’s safe to say Delling only did that to Miorine because she’s his daughter, not his son.

In a way i think it fleshes out the worldbuilding a bit more: same-sex marriages are apparently common enough that it’s no big deal (though we have no idea if it’s an overall thing, or if such progressiveness only applies to political matches), but it sucks for women and poor people.

[al-the-remix]

what are your FAVORITE things to write about steve? he seems very charming

He is so charming 😭 I hope this answers your question! This is like 50% rambling and 50% just speculation.

I mean, first off I just think he's cute...that's at least 90% of my motivation. (I am looking and it is in no way respectful.) But I also just have a soft spot for characters who come across as soft-spoken and serious on the outside but then crack these zingers out of nowhere---either filthy or satirical---and Steve does both, making his internal and external dialogue really fun for me to write. Even more so in contrast to how I like to write Sid: straightforward and always having a lot to say and is ready to say it to whoever is in his direct line of sight (of course this does not count if that person happens to be a reporter...)

I think that contrast adds an interesting tension to any narrative. (At lest how I characterize it) I like to write Steve as very honest and blunt when he does revel something, but mostly keeps the curtains on his inner thoughts and feelings tightly shut, and is more likely to just not say anything in favour of revealing his true feelings VS Sid who is more likely to either admit the truth OR just say what he thinks people want to hear. 

I also find that my favourite part about writing Steve changes depending on the pov. From Steve’s point of view it's fun to feel like you're in the know, as it always is with a character who’s reticent. Especially when the story is duel pov and the other party is constantly misinterpreting their signals. 

And then of course, perhaps more basely, I find it very indulgent to write out my Jupiter-size crush from Sid’s perspective. 😌

Mostly I just find the dynamic between Sid and Steve specifically very interesting, they obviously get along and are very similar (the golden child saviours of their franchises, basically adopted by their club owners and cities, commercial darlings of the NHL...) but with a few key differences. 

Personally, I think Steve is actually closer to how a lot of the fandom used to perceive Sid before they knew much about him: Steve was very often described as shy and mild mannered, and although I think Sid is genuinely humble and down to earth (thanks to his upbringing) he's always had an inherent confidence that I don't think Steve had coming into the league. For one, it was a different era and level of exposure; Steve played on a team in Nepean and then Peterborough (which for those who are uninitiated was not the frenzied cultural moment that was Sidney Crosby at Rimouski). Steve came into the league as a player that was accomplished but not at the level where people would be able anticipate what he would become vs Sid grew up with people already expecting big things from him from an early age so he had to develop the self confidence to withstand that etc etc.

So while they’re both insanely competitive and hard workers I just think Steve's confidence was galvanized a little later in life. Also, from what I've read about Steve it sounded like he had a very (emotionally) conservative upbringing with a stoic father, which might have added to the reservedness vs Sid who's parents come across as very much emotional/emotionally available.

They are both incredibly private and humble: Sid more private than Steve (Sid wont hold hands with his girlfriend in public, etc.) Steve more severely humble than Sid (lol, I have yet to hear about Sid un-retiring one of his own jerseys.)

And beside all that Steve just seems like a guy who really likes to have fun. There’s all the chirping, joke cracking, and gutting one liners, theres the fact that his ring tone was black eyed peas at one point, and that he wanted to be invited to Ovi’s next cup party. 

He’s seemed to have flourished/come out of his shell (publicly) in retirement. Which I love since I love retirement fic, but I also I like in contrast to Sid who hasn’t reached that point in his career yet. As someone who's already lived though a lot of the same life experiences and come out the other side I just think there’s so much room for good emotional angst and dialogue there. And not to be forgotten the ship just wouldn't be a juicy emotionally without the age gap and hero worship 😌

[hellyeahheroes]

Robin(2021) #1 Review

Opening this comic with an assessment of a character that I have no choice but to agree with is a cheap way to score points with me.

Anyways, we caught heat for being unfair to this story since it was announced because all of us wanted it to be a Cass story since forever. And it became yet another thing Damian absorbs. I mostly ignored it because I’ve always been open about my disdain for the character and his fandom for nearly a decade. I never liked Damian because put these characteristics on a non-white passing character, they’d be dead inside of year. Then again I hate almost all of Grant Morrison monstrosities.

Regardless, new story who dis is in full effect here. We open this bad boy up with Damian gone missing and the Batfamily searching for him. Nightwing tried asking Damian’s old Teen Titans team and they obviously don’t know and probably hope Damian is dead. Tim checked Arkham Ruins(???) and Damian wasn’t there. I honestly don’t think Tim was trying to find Damian. Steph and Cass checked Damian’s farm and Steph concluded Damian has been there at least because while Damian may be a little shit, he loves his dog and pet bat dragon. Barbara checked facial recognition pings and his transactions and dude is an IRS nightmare.

Damian is missing. Bruce is worried that maybe making a violent murderous preteen Robin raised in a cabal of killers to be chief murderer was a bad idea and is worried. Barbara ensures him that they will find his son and we cut to Damian fighting Snake guy in some musty ass fight put somewhere. Because of course it’s a musty ass fight pit because while the story is well drawn, it never claimed to be not cliche.

Damian hands the scrub his ass and it turns out Damian is trying to earn a marker to participate in some tournament. I liked this panel.

Not because of the artist flex of changing the art style, but it establishes Damian with a relatable hobby, reading manga. And not just a Shounen as you expect him to read but a slice of life manga which kind of puts his life in perspective. Also the lesson in the manga is reflective of what happens in the comic. Damian’s mastery is reflective of how he sees Hana. Hana decides to go beyond what her masters taught her. She decides to innovate and make her art her own. And that’s indicative of another flaw of Damian: Damian leans of the prestige of his teachers. He is the student that replicates the style 1:1. He wants to inherit Batman’s mantle, but doesn’t want to shed his teachings that he is proud of. And it comes down to this idea that Damian refuses to innovate and adapt because he is hiding behind his masters.

This panel saved the story so good job.

And after a talk with dead Alfred, it’s revealed that Damian is on this journey as a way to mirror Bruce’s journey into becoming Batman. It’s his way to iron his resolve without a catalyst to find a need to. It highlights his naïveté. He thinks that he can just simply copy the steps and get the same results.

Regardless what happens next simultaneously undermines the story or the impact of it.

Okay, when you think of Martial artists in DC, you immediately think Batman, Shiva, Deathstroke, Black Canary, Bronze Tiger, Richard Dragon, and Shiva. Why I said Shiva twice? Because Shiva is the pinnacle.

So to reveal that three premier martial artists in the universe are not only not participating but they were paid off to not participate, cheated out, or were subbed in as an entry replacement, it undermines the promotion. It’s like going to a Beyonce Concert only to find out that between the words in small print Beyonce and Concert was ‘s Sister’s and now you are watching Grammy award winning Solange. Sure, it’s an unique experience but it ain’t Beyonce.

And also, there is no amount in the world that would keep Shiva away from this tournament if it’s as prestigious as it’s led to be. Let’s be real. If anything, it’s far more likely that she saw the roster of scrubs and decided to make some scratch.

There are two characters that I recognize: Connor Hawke and Rose Wilson. I am not familiar with Connor so I am not sure if he is out of place. Rose is fine but y’know, scrub. I’m sorry Rose Wilson got her ass handed to her by Cass in the previous universe. There is no universe where I take her seriously in a fighting tournament to crown greatest fighter because the ass stomp was so thorough that Cass was beating Slade’s ego by proxy.

Back to the comic, Damian interrupts the host and basically is the fighting tournament trope of overly confident disrespectful guy with too many accolades which he will proudly tell you about them. What I like about this is the nice nod to the previous manga panel. Damian is not a great fighter. There I said it. Damian’s ability hinges on the idea that he was trained by the greatest killers and Batman but the issue is that name prestige doesn’t make great fighters. Too many times, comic books overly rely on this idea of fighting being a what you know and not being a game of not getting hit and getting hits in. It does not matter if Damian is trained by the League and Batman and it’s questionable as to how much Batman taught him in the first place. Hence why we see Damian with a sword or staff to compliment his lack of range. Damian can’t read muscle twitches like a Cass or Shiva so he has a normal reactive response and comics never highlighted his ability. The most impressive thing I’ve seen Damian do is catch a Batarang which is something I’ve seen Tim do. Damian overly relies on the idea that his teachers taught him to be the best when they simply taught him to survive in a fight.

“But why does Cass get away with it?,” you ask. Cass has this broken hax that is reading muscle twitch and immediately knowing the instant of what you are going to do before you do it or decide to do. Cass doesn’t need range because to her, you are screaming your intentions. She doesn’t need to block an attack when she can just parry. She doesn’t need to step back when she can just step forward while slipping all attacks. She is an autistic savant at fighting with an absolute defense. Damian is just another badass teen in a world of badass adults.

And the humbling of Damian begins...again.

Pros:

-Damian’s new costume. I like that he is branching out and starting to own his own colors. It’s nice.

-Using a character flaw to make it a theme. I like Chekhov’s gun via teachable moment. In tournament arcs, what separates the good ones and the bad ones is the idea that the hero simply must overcome their opponents and not their own self. This is why Yuyu Hakusho is awesome.

- Great art and nice continuity. It’s nice that Damian’s past wasn’t ignored for once and they didn’t just throw his Teen Titans characterization down the tubes. Say what you want, but it was arguably Damian’s longest run in spite of his fans hating it. And contrary to what they believe, it was very much in character for him. My fear going into this that Damian would not face any fallout and lo and behold he ran away.

- it’s a good start for a Damian story. Say what you want, but it’s unique in that the little shit gets his comeuppance immediately. And not that just by losing, but by dying. Damian has killed before and readily justifies it because he never realizes the weight of taking someone’s life. He’s been killed before but those were painted in a way that he is valiant. Here, this is death caused by his own arrogance. He mocks a fighter for talking shit and gets murked while talking shit. He spouts names of his own teachers and expects people to care or be weary as if Rose Wilson and Connor aren’t there. It’s a tournament sponsored by the League of Assassins, Damian. They have been taught by the league too.

Cons:

-Look I get promotion. No promoter is going to undermine their product but the fact that this tournament reeks like ABA is killing my interest to give a shit. It’s a convenient caveat to say that, “Well, a character won this so they can have the title but the title doesn’t mean anything.” I know of regardless of whom wins this, they aren’t the best. Go ham or don’t at all.

-not enough emphasis of the importance of this arc. Why even have this tournament? What’s the prize? What’s even the point?

-While the art is nice, the action is framed poorly. I like physical action like this to be nearly choreographed in a way I can see and piece movement in my head. The two fight scenes we get are somewhat disjointed in that it’s just poses. For example, Flatline’s first kick makes no sense at all and I don’t get her follow up. Trying to picture the movement hurts my head and in an action concept like this, it’s best to frame action scenes as more than doing poses. Here is a good example:

This only emphasizes the action and gets the reader to acknowledge that this a tournament of great fighters or at least a great fighting story.

All in all, do I think this story is off to a good start? Yes. Is it going to change my opinion on Damian? Hell no. My reaction to Damian getting his ass handed to him was this.

The issue is that it never sticks. Damian can learn and be a better person but the development never sticks. It becomes a cyclical series of events because whoever writes him next will just keep writing him as this shitty entitled murder rich kid who never learns anything and gets validated somehow. It’s been over a decade and I’m tired of the same excuses of his shitty behavior. I am tired of writers validating it or excusing it.

Damian losing isn’t an outcome I care for because it’s wasted on him. Honestly I am more interested in Connor and Rose being there. I have no faith that it will stick nor does it undo the shitty idea of the character. I have never wanted to see Damian fight. It’s never been fun to read about nor has the impetus of his character emphasized the ability or style. Placing Damian in an Enter the Dragon style tournament lacks the pizzazz of Cass doing the same thing. For example, let’s try Marvel.

Let’s say someone pitches an idea of a tournament arc styled after Game of Death. Immediately you think Martial Artists non-powered. Danny Rand, Daredevil, Elektra, Shang-Chi, Pei and Colleen Wing. Okay, instead of giving those characters the honor, you give the story to Black Cat. Honestly, I’d read it because Felicia could sell me a documentary on grass and I’d buy it but the point stands, why does Damian have this Bruce Lee inspired Martial Arts story versus the actual Chinese or East Asian Martial Arts focused member of the Batfamily, Cassandra Cain?

But this has nothing to do with what could have been. It’s a fun beginning of a possibly fun arc. In that regard, it delivers but what’s the point?

Like I said, fun story.

@ubernegro