#this is one of those little background connections that makes this game so fun for me

[yonezawacastle]

Hi yes I would like two hours of these men needling each other, please.

[thecoolerliauditore]

I need your thoughts on Martyn.

Jesus Christ in heaven where to start.

I was planning to write massive essay posts about each of the winners sooner or later, I guess Martyn can skip the queue. As a treat.

BAD traffic series martyn analysis post don't read. LONG POST

note: rules I'm operating by are to keep the analysis primarily traffic-based (although this one's kind of an exception because. mr watcher lore) and I'm not rewatching entire POVs so stuff might be wrong so on so forth

Why is he... Like that?

So before I even start talking about 3L I feel the need to address Martyn's background first because, not unlike alot of the other members of the cast, Martyn's previously established relationships from series like Evo have a significant impact on how he behaves.

This is kind of difficult for me to talk about because it breaks my "no material outside of the traffic series" rule for these essays specifically, but I think it's honestly just more fun incorporating Martyn's off-series lore drops and such into his character instead of leaving them out.

So here's the basis I work from -- Martyn is the most unreliable narrator in a full cast of them. His lore is his character's version of events, not an unbiased retelling.

Whether the Watchers exist and whether they're the same entities present in Evo doesn't matter all that much, since all we know is that they are very real to Martyn, at least. Taking the lore as Martyn's POV also helps iron out some of the more awkward creases it creates when viewing the series as a whole (e.g. Grian's involvement with the Watchers surely means he would reference them himself, yet he doesn't) and lays the groundwork for some really interesting things about Martyn himself when you try to put the dots together on how he arrived at these conclusions. I'll be referencing these as they come up chronologically.

So, without over complicating things, here are the rules I'm playing by when it comes to pre-3L Martyn:

Evo did really happen with the same people, however the exact details are muddy.

Martyn knew Jimmy prior to the games and the two already had some sort of personal connection going in.

We're not trusting a word out of his mouth. Especially if he says them on stream. But we are going to acknowledge what those words are.

With those parameters set, let's move on:

Third Life, and the guy who gets a little too into it

Like Grian, Martyn immediately acclimates to the game's survival-based mechanics. Martyn spends a good chunk of the first session of 3L seemingly aimless, but he makes observations and choices throughout that show he has survival at the back of his mind (e.g. him quickly establishing an alliance with Grian and Bigb while sneakily putting them in his debt through the diamonds he finds early -- even if this doesn't end up paying off to anything).

Unlike Grian however, Martyn less desperately clings onto a need for an edge to survive and seems almost comfortable in playing the game. A running theme for him throughout all the seasons will be that he seems to feel most comfortable when he has some amount of unspoken power over others, whether that be something as silly as testing the waters with his creeper soundboard or later when he starts playing 4D chess with himself in regard to his loyalties.

"Power" might be not exactly the right word for what Martyn yearns for, but it's the best word I can find to really describe it. He's always the one with a card up his sleeve or a plan B or, arguably most importantly, the one with control over the situation and responsibility over his own and others' wellbeing.

In my mind, at least, I think it might be a consequence of Martyn actually being quite sensitive in terms of relationships and having this very deep-seeded need to protect his loved ones from harm but lacking the emotional intelligence necessary to allow himself to be vulnerable about those feelings and communicate properly. So instead he finds some way to protect himself emotionally (usually overdramatic and makes him way worse) and treats everyone including himself with a level of un-seriousness that alleviates the tension for him.

If I were to dig deeper into this specific point I must say Martyn seems to have chosen to perform a very specific breed of masculinity, with his constant agonizing need to protect and lead while not having to confront his own perceived weaknesses, and alot of his insecurities and frustrations come from being denied that husband-y role to play.

His interactions with Jimmy early on in 3L portray this side of him quite plainly. After seeing Scott hit him around at Renchanting, Martyn gets Jimmy alone and asks him if he's okay but after Jimmy dodges the question, Martyn quickly becomes frustrated and starts acting very overdramatic (e.g. threatening to cut Jimmy off, "I can't look at you", so on) even as Jimmy keeps insisting they keep talking.

In my humble opinion, it's clear to me from how he speaks to Jimmy in this scene and further on, and from his referencing of their Evo relationship, that this is these two's established dynamic - the way Martyn dramatizes everything feels almost as if he were making a joke of it, teasing Jimmy, almost akin to how an older sibling or very old friend would act. It's possible that Martyn didn't expect Jimmy to take any of his threats seriously (although he definitely was laying on the pressure to try and get him to agree in the moment) and that's why he's so taken aback when Jimmy does act almost afraid of him from this point forward.

Not once does Martyn ever verbalize his own feelings regarding the matter. He never says that he's scared or worried for Jimmy, or even makes any sort of subjective judgment on Scott's character for hitting Jimmy in the first place. He makes it all about Jimmy, never communicating *why* he is doing what he's doing which ends up giving off the impression he thinks he knows what's best for him, which of course never communicates to Jimmy that Martyn cares for or loves him and ends up pushing him away as a result.

Speaking of Scott, despite Martyn clearly not approving of the way he treats Jimmy (judging from the aforementioned conversation and his later lore streams where he essentially calls Scott and Jimmy's marriage a sham), he does not ever act antagonistically towards Scott. Which I think is indicative of another key trait of Martyn's - an almost uncanny ability to push aside his own feelings at least momentarily for the sake of the game.

Martyn does not speak badly to or about Scott. He even explores the nether with him very early on and the two literally joke about trapping the Flower Valley and killing Jimmy together.

I think there's an understanding and perhaps a level of respect, on Martyn's end, towards Scott. One of the first observations he makes about Scott's base, after all, is its defensive location and Scott, like Martyn, values his own competency and likes to pretend he's more emotionally unattached to his partner than he really is (the parallels between Martyn/Ren and Scott/Jimmy are even somewhat lampshaded by Martyn himself when he refers to them as "my red" (Ren) and "your red" (Jimmy) later).

It seems that Martyn doesn't dislike anything innate to Scott's nature, and even has love for his manipulative traits. If it were anyone other than Jimmy Scott was hitting, I'd argue, Martyn wouldn't have raised a fuss about it. Not to mention, there's also a sense of "keeping your enemies closer" when it comes to these two, as both seem acutely aware the other is useful on their side and a threat anywhere else.

I'd argue despite the fact he's able to push his dislike towards Scott aside, he definitely still feels spiteful towards him, as he ends up hunting him down pretty mercilessly come the end of the series (after Jimmy dies too - so perhaps there was also a level there of feeling the need to put up with Scott beforehand as he was Jimmy's only ally, but now that Jimmy's gone there isn't any need to be friendly with Scott anymore.)

Now onto the heavy-hitter Martyn 3L relationship - his dynamic with Ren.

I'll be honest I think most treebark shippers have summed up their relationship way better than I could. You could probably go into the tag and see thirty eight analysis posts more indepth and accurate than mine. However I will say that one thing I see rarely mentioned is this very obviously being Martyn's first time meeting Ren (I'm talking about characters here but here is your acknowledgement this is definitely a result of this literally being the case for the CCs).

He's not used to Ren's mannerisms -- during their first meeting, Ren says his usual "ex-squeeze me" (instead of "excuse me") and Martyn responds "no thankyou, I'm married". Not to get too into it as this is The Martyn Post but Ren's POV would imply the same since he sees Martyn's name in chat and he immediately starts theorizing about what kind of player he is.

I think Ren essentially being a stranger to Martyn at the start of the series makes it easier for him to act manipulatively and keep him at arm's length, as well as be in denial about the whole emotional attachment thing. For so much of their alliance during 3L Martyn is acting, performing to match Ren's vibes, except he's not.

^this quote and the concept of freudian slips informs like 88% of my worldview, if anyone's wondering why I'm. like that.

"The Hand" is very much not how Martyn naturally acts or behaves, down to the change in speaking patterns. It's a persona that I think both Ren and Martyn never take too seriously or mistake for Martyn's authentic self, but it's also something Martyn uses to express his innermost feelings he disallows himself from usually. Yes it's all silly even in-universe but I think there's something special about how he constantly expresses his devotion as The Hand, even if he's doing it with a layer of irony. Plus, I think it says something that, jumping later in the timeline, his flashbacks in LimLife are much more true to the character of The Hand than Martyn himself.

This section is already long enough but I do have to mention Bigb, Grian and Scar or I'll explode.

Earlier on, I touched on Martyn giving Grian and Bigb diamond swords early and it being an attempt to leverage an alliance between them. This I admit might be a slight reach however the reason I say that is Martyn continues to pursue Bigb and Grian as allies throughout the season.

Bigb is cut and dry enough, he ends up floating around the outside of Dogwarts as a not-quite-member after the siege in which pretty much half the sever were antagonized by Grian and Scar. I'm probably not the person to thoroughly dissect Martyn/Bigb but there's something interesting there about how alot of people tend to have this general fondness towards Bigb and Martyn is no exception.

As for Grian, Martyn acknowledges that Grian is responsible for the siege, possible moreso than Scar, but keeps questioning how "gone" he is, worded as if he believes Scar is manipulating him. I've seen people compare this to how he acts towards Jimmy and Scott which I can definitely see the throughline. However, I think while both are an example of Martyn's protector/saviour complex, they are innately different due to Martyn's relationships with both the perceived victim and captor in each case.

Despite Grian also being an ex-Evo member, Martyn does not act towards him with the same familiarity he does with Jimmy. He also brings up Grian's welfare with Bigb and not Grian himself, with Bigb being the other person involved in their earlier established sword alliance. To me, it feels as if Martyn is more testing the waters for if he can still get Grian on his side than out of any genuine concern for Grian, although it is possible he's projecting some of those leftover feelings regarding Jimmy's situations onto Grian and Scar.

The other reason is, I think, Martyn might genuinely be afraid of Scar himself and villainizing him as a result. Everytime Scar shows up in Martyn's POV he's paired with tense music and sporadic editing that makes him appear more unhinged. Martyn has also said on tumblr he found Scar intimidating at the time, which is of course a dubiously canon source but I find it applicable enough.

It makes sense, too. When you compare Martyn's treatment of Scar vs his treatment of Scott. These are both people he has recognized as real threats and he assumes both are manipulating their respective partners, but while he remains friendly (at least outwardly) towards Scott he's constantly wary of Scar, drawing weapons on him pretty much on sight even before the siege.

I think Martyn fears Scar because he doesn't understand Scar. Scott is someone like him who he knows the inner workings of, or at least that's what he believes, so while he doesn't care for him he doesn't feel a need to keep him away. Martyn always assumes a level of coordinated malice from Scar that is more than often either completely unfounded or a result of something originating from Grian (my favourite example of this is, right before the siege, Scar wanders over with his bee on a lead and Martyn starts yelling "he's got a bee! what does that mean?!" as if expecting the bee has some pvp reason behind it. when scar just wanted to have a bee).

That isn't to say that Scar isn't malicious - Martyn is right like 90% of the time that Scar's not-so-subtle friendly hellos have some sinister plan behind them, but he doesn't ever truly get that Scar isn't the evil mastermind he thinks he is.

I'd argue this fear is what also makes Martyn not pick up on the fact that Grian is the more manipulative one out of the two - something that even Scott seems aware of - because he never spends enough time with them on friendly terms to be aware of that dynamic.

Last Life AKA big brother syndrome in full blast

Okay that was a long ass section sorry lmao have to establish everything there. Everything from here on is gonna be a lot cleaner I swear.

The Southlanders could honestly have their own ultra-long post about how they're the perfect disaster team-up lord of the flies esque situation the series has to offer.

Impulse, Grian and Martyn are all similar in that they understand they have to play the game a certain way through keeping their loyalties dubious while Mumbo, as a newcomer, is extremely naive and goes along with whatever the more assertive members of the group say. And Jimmy is Jimmy.

Martyn takes on a leadership role within the group, being the one to constantly spearhead their humour and come up with new often disruptive plans (usually targetting Scott because he totally isn't spiteful still, albeit in a very playful way). After Joel traps their base with tnt minecarts, Martyn is the one to keep everyone else back and disarm them, a huge contrast to 3L's siege.

Their group embraces the rules of the game - if you turn red, as Grian does early on, you are kicked out from the group as a threat. There's this sinking feeling throughout all their spyglass shenanigans and life-trade trust exercises that this is still an alliance in a death game and if you prove yourself to be a detriment, you will be kicked out.

It's no wonder than why Jimmy, who gets his usual bottom of the barrel treatment, tries to run away with Martyn's life during one of their trust exercises. He's been shown at this point he can't fully trust the Southlanders to protect him forever -- how could he, when Martyn, again, never slips in any sign of affection between the teasing?

To Martyn, however, this is a betrayal of his trust. His plea to Jimmy to return sounds a lot like their conversation back in 3L on the snowy mountain regarding Jimmy and Scott, except this time Jimmy accepts Martyn's offer and Martyn tells him he was lying, calling him an idiot for believing him in the first place. This is probably the harshest Martyn acts towards Jimmy in the series, but it's worth mentioning that to Martyn the timeline of events goes he offers Jimmy his protection and alliance--> Jimmy refuses--> Jimmy dies (which Martyn probably sees at least partially due to said refusal) --> he gets Jimmy back and does everything in his power to keep him safe --> Jimmy does the equivalent of *killing him* and tries to get away with it.

Martyn still obviously cares about Jimmy despite being upset at him, as after his usual dramatics and declaring a trial for Jimmy in which each of the Southlanders vote on his fate, Martyn still votes to keep Jimmy in the group (again, something Jimmy is never made aware of).

Possibly partially because of the Jimmy incident and the overall dog-eat-dog culture of the Southlanders, Martyn does to them what he never managed with Dogwarts - betrayal. At least, on some level.

Ironically, it's Ren he betrays them for, forming the Shadow Alliance and even giving the life Jimmy had attempted to steal from him to Ren instead. My read of this has always been that it supported Martyn truly being happy enough for Jimmy or someone else to have his extra life, but Jimmy's act of betraying him itself being what hurt him.

I think now's a good time to start mentioning the Watcher Lore, as here is where it starts kicking into gear. Martyn's claims of emotional bonds not carrying over from previous seasons is not only a very natural progression from his emotional distancing in a coping mechanism sense, but also enables him to betray Ren too later on and not have to confront the guilt that comes with that when he tries to lead him into a tnt trap in the final 1v1v1v1. However, he still cheers for Ren as a ghost and even says that he would be happy to see Ren win, indicating he really does not hold any malice towards him.

I've seen people make jokes about the watcher lore being Martyn schizoposting and I'm sure I've made similar jokes in the past but. Speaking very genuinely here Martyn's questionable sanity is a big part of his character to me.

His Episode 8 of LL literally begins with him acting out the usual running joke of him stealing Mumbo's intro, except Mumbo and Jimmy are dead at this point and he is doing their voices and talking to himself. When the illusion is broken, he panics and the video immediately cuts to him running around obviously distressed with a disembodied voice demanding things from him.

I'm obviously not authorized to diagnose every single one of Martyn's many mental illnesses, but I think mentally breaking down in a timeloop death game is a fairly average thing to happen to someone, and Martyn might be especially susceptible due to his aforementioned need for power and responsibility in every relationship (i.e. I'd like to think he feels some helplessness/guilt over Jimmy and Mumbo's deaths, leading to this sequence).

Not to mention, someone who is emotionally vulnerable coming up with a nebulous Group of Evil People who are the source of all the bad things in a helpless situation of violence is. Something that happens historically quite alot. To try and find reason in the madness is just a human instinct, I think.

One thing I feel like I should mention is his "marriage" with Mumbo which. I honestly don't see as anything more than a gag. Not that Martyn isn't a massive hypocrite but "marrying" Mumbo would be very much contradict what he has to say about Scott/Jimmy's situation. I do think he cares for Mumbo and potentially Mumbo's naivete served as incentive for Martyn to put on the usual assertive/provider role but I don't think there's much more than that (no hate to the shippers, tho, if they knew eachother for like a week longer they would've kissed)

Double Life. Oh no

Double Life Martyn is one of my favourite POVs in the series because it is. Hilarious. Unfortunately.

To start off, he is one of the players who almost immediately accepts the soulbound system as romantic and his views on Cleo/Scott's relationship are heavily based on that (I love that one clip where he mocks them in front of Jimmy).

Him acting flabbergasted at Cleo rejecting him despite pretty much having no relationship with her prior to this season is a really funny contrast to Scott and Pearl, especially when he continues pursuing her like they're recently divorced and Cleo's just like. rolling her eyes. It's all very performative on Martyn's end and why I mentioned his sense of masculinity at the start, because in theme with DL being The Feminism Season TM this is when it comes full throttle in display with the way he treats Cleo.

Martyn keeps referring to himself as a "provider" and refers to Cleo's relationship with Scott as "childish" -- Martyn trying to win over Scott's partner to his side, assuming he knows best for the partner and calling their relationship a sham? Does any of this sound familiar?

Cleo is not like Jimmy, however, and is very clear to Martyn in terms of what she wants from him - which is an apology, no diamond swords or heart-shaped houses, but Martyn in all his emotional denseness can't understand this and keeps assuming there must be some hidden strings attached.

I couldn't find the original meme I had in mind but these are within the same genre. The one I remember had captioned something like "dads don't say "i love you" but they will buy ten boxes worth of the fruit they overheard you say you liked once", which pretty much sums up Martyn's emotional intelligence to me. He would much rather give you way too much of something he thinks you need (e.g. with Jimmy the playful teasing, with Cleo the acts of service) than just say "I love you".

Cleo's blunt honesty serves as a stark contrast to Jimmy and brings something out of Martyn that we rarely ever see -- a genuine, vulnerable interaction in which he has to admit he's hurt. Cleo immediately denies him the role of rescuer he wants to play by telling him directly that she, not Scott, was the one who came up with the idea of teaming up and even gets Martyn to verbalize he's hurt by their actions and cares for her.

Once that illusion is shattered for Martyn and Cleo even admits she's acting manipulatively towards Scott, Martyn realises he and Cleo are more alike than he initially assumed and that he doesn't need to take care of her like he always tries to with his relationships. Ironically, the one relationship he has that is born almost entirely out of government mandated performative romance, is the one that gets him to examine how he views people especially his romantic interests the most.

This is, of course, all said with the fact that following this very heartfelt moment, the next time he speaks to Cleo he pushes her off a fucking cliff and kills her in mind. And the fact that he was very much beating the shit out of her and even called their relationship "toxic" himself early on in the season.

It's kind of hard to gauge Cleo and Martyn's relationship from this point forward but Martyn definitely chills on the namecalling and cooperates with Scott and Cleo for the main part going forward.

I think it's also worth mentioning that, despite Scott once again being the object of his spite, Martyn is once again friendly with Scott all season. When he catches Cleo and Scott mid-axe crit, it's Cleo he starts hitting and not Scott, despite them both being responsible. Behind his back, Martyn will claim Scott is "ruining" Cleo but to his face Martyn is always respectful. He actually even calls Scott "pretty"/"hot" in the last episode, which has some implications I'll talk about more in the Limlife section.

Martyn, like everyone else, is weird about Pearl. Uniquely in his case, Pearl isn't a witch nor demoness, but rather a non-factor he seems to have had written off and her triumph in the end comes as a shock to his system.

He dismisses her concerns over and over in the first episode as they are exploring together and, instead of seeing her as a natural source of allyship, doesn't value her enough to keep her around as an alliance even after Scott and Cleo dump them. In his heart to heart with Cleo, he even very randomly speaks badly of her, although he immediately seems to feel a bit of guilt over it.

He never seems to view Pearl through a sympathetic lens despite the two being in the same circumstance and, again in the same conversation with Cleo, they both agree that she could act as essentially a pawn (an "extra healthbar") for them like Cleo uses Scott.

I feel the need to clarify that while, yes I do believe Martyn is Weird About Women, I also do think he's honestly above average and sees them more as people than some other men in the series (note: my standards are not very high)

He sees most people as nothings that can be manipulated or competition that also can be manipulated, it just so happens that all the women in the series so far land squarely in the former and it took Cleo saying to his face "I'm taking advantage of Scott" for him to realise she wasn't a victim. However, even afterwards, he never treats her with the same competitiveness he has for people like Scott and Scar (albeit it makes enough sense in this season since she's attached to his healthbar, but this remains the same for future seasons). And as a reminder, he holds respect for those he deems as threats, which might have something to do with why he feels comfortable hitting Cleo but not Scott.

As for Ren and the Broken Hearts Club, they didn't get a lot of time together this season since both were preoccupied with their own soulmate dramas and being awful to Pearl but what we do see of them ranges from heartwarmingly nostalgic to a little bit hollow. Martyn saying to Pearl that they're the same at this point doesn't really read to me as him being truly sympathetic since this is post the "you should go use pearl as your second hp bar" conversation and Ren is way too busy to deal with the emotional turmoil of what's going on between himself and Bigb to really pay attention to Martyn.

Ren is still very kind to Martyn, especially considering the last time he saw him in LL Martyn was trying to kill him, but there's an emotional gap between the two that's very noticeable at least to me when compared to 3L and LL.

I think Martyn, at this point, convinced of his own "emotional bonds don't carry over seasons" logic, might be a bit too comfortable on relying on Ren. In both DL and LL he runs to Ren when his current alliance gets shaky and Ren is a source of definite comfort for him (as he said so himself on stream). Ren, as a source of comfort, is not a threat to Martyn aka not someone he needs to keep tabs so when said source of comfort falls through the gaps, you get:

Limited Life. The one where he compares himself to Joffrey from GOT

I don't think I have much to say about LimLife Martyn that hasn't already been said.

I will say I don't necessarily think Majorwood is purely his rebound relationship from Ren, the Mean Gills forming is very much not OOC for either Scott or Martyn (this is pretty much how they acted with eachother at the start of 3L) and their resulting give and take coworker-esque dynamic is a very natural place for them to end up from their previous interactions. Scott, like Martyn, tries to shed his emotional attachments with each new season so they are, in a very literal sense, making eachother worse by reinforcing that habit by normalizing it to eachother.

However, the parallels to their respective 3L partnerships I can't blame people for pointing out, right down to Martyn killing both Ren and Scott in the seaons he was teamed with them and the latter being happy about it.

I think it's time to say what I've been implying with Scott and Martyn throughout this whole thing and that is that they are eachother's ideal ally. They are both aware of the game, play the game, emotionally distant, manipulative and make themselves suffer more for that mindset. I don't think there was ever a moment in their allyship where either assumed the other wasn't going to stab them in the back later, despite the mutual respect they have being very real.

Martyn spends a lot of time this season just wandering around talking to various people, alot like how he acted in 3L before he and Ren became an official thing. It's almost as if, without Ren there, he loses his default go-to guy and is once again sizing up the competition around him.

The one exception I would say would be his interactions with Cleo, who he seems genuinely friendly with, even offering himself up as a "godfather" for the Clockers before the whole server became some form of extended family. You'd think this alliance would also have some basis in the ever present Scott/Cleo alliance but Scott's constant sacrifices for the Clockers are never discussed between him and Martyn, in fact the two of them rarely talk about anything ever past base-building and dolphin-wrangling, and the Clockers seem to treat them as two seperate entities rather than an alliance (e.g. Bdubs seems almost entitled to Scott's life after a certain point, but none of them ever even consider asking Martyn for time).

That, and of course the fact that Martyn kills Scott very unsympathetically towards the end, really point me in the "Martyn is still spiteful towards Scott" direction -- after all, alliance or no alliance, I don't think Martyn would want to be in the conversation with Scott where he tells him about his "love you back" exchange with Jimmy. Martyn certainly respects Scott, loves Scott I'd even say, but I don't know if he actually likes Scott.

I think it's also interesting that it's this season where Martyn's Watcher Lore interludes make a return, just in time for his source of comfort (Ren) to be missing.

Re: the watcher lore the comment Martyn makes about swapping out souls of players who are too "damaged" is very in line with his DL seeing women (and "weaker" men like Jimmy, Mumbo and, of course, Ren) as default victims as, knowingly or not, he implies through this that all the women in the series have souls too weak to withstand the horrors. This also in turn implies that he himself is not broken, which I think he'd like to believe.

Secret Life. It's happy again :D oh wait no

Secret Life starts with Martyn kissing Jimmy. I feel like we moved on from this way too fast in general I mean on the cheek or not he did kiss him he did literally kiss him.

I'll be honest I think the Big Dogs POV is the one I'm least familiar with out of all of these but from what I do remember it's very nice to see Martyn and Jimmy settling back into what seems like their Evo dynamic or even their pre-horrors LL dynamic.

Unfortunately Jimmy is not Cleo and thus cannot get Martyn to be the slightest bit vulnerable, so their dynamic remains stagnant and neither acknowledge the awkwardness that still resides between them.

Jimmy is at least very clearly holding onto some discomforts, judging by his behaviour late in the series when he acts aggressively towards Pearl and celebrates Lizzie dying. He even chases Scott down with a sword on horseback earlier on and, very early in one of Pearl's episodes, he quickly switches between sounding sad and angry.

It's clear to me at least SL Jimmy has reached some sort of breaking point, and this never gets acknowledged by Martyn (I like to think he just lacks the EQ to deal with it). This all cascades into Jimmy attempting to kill Martyn and running away before dying.

SL Martyn feels almost like, to me, the 3L Martyn who successfully convinced Jimmy to team with him and the disaster that comes with that. Martyn certainly has continued to be his survivalist self, not trusting outsiders to the point where when the Wither/Warden combo is unleashed, he immediately assumes they're picking off reds and goes to hide.

Weirdly enough, his protective tendencies towards Jimmy are pretty much gone. It's almost as if when he doesn't see an active threat (e.g. Scott) he assumes things must be good enough and leaves it at that, which also implies he can't comprehend that He might be detrimental to Jimmy himself.

Obligatory. Yes he still misses Ren. Him literally basing his alliance concept off of dogs is. hilarious. I'm so sorry babygirl.

Real Life is, again, non-canon to me but turns up the "dad who buys you 45 mandarins" energy to 11 with him being Ren and Skizz's pseudo-dad. I love Ren having a crisis about his own RP btw it's the funniest thing and he does it like. Everytime.

Uh yeah I hope that's long enough

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Better Than Gold

Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

The Cursed Trio | Simple Pleasures

...

Gojo LOVES to take pictures --- he's the sort to have an aesthetic theme when it comes to his MySpace page (Instagram only came out in 2010 bro i feel old as shit rn also I have no idea how myspace works so ye)

(Side Note: Gojos had never really been interested in social media until the day Suguru made an account, back in early-August. Intrigued by the idea of connecting with his bestie over a new platform, he made one. It's quite frankly one of the worse and best decisions ever.)

Gojo has spent an insane amount of time refining both his feed and his page to perfection. Surprisingly, he has a small amount of pictures posted --- around two hundred or so; however, almost all of them consist of the three of you hanging out at random places around Japan

To be honest, you're that one person in the friend group that ends up in random places at the most random of times while Suguru is just one to go with it and Gojo is the one to encourage it.

Gojo has a list of places you or Suguru have shown even the slightest of interest. Although, a few places are added so that the two males can give you a tour of Japan.

Ah, Gojos is the one who likes to take you to trendy places such as Shinjuku Sky, where the views are absolutely spectacular. Especially during sunset. Your face is squished between Suguru's cheek and Gojo's shoulder as the three of you look up to the camera, a sunset in the background as the three of you go down the escalator.

(Side Note: Gojo is the one to take all the group pictures because he has the longest arm, ensuring the best of angles. Shockingly, Suguru is banned from taking pics because he doesn't really know how to. He always gets the ugliest angle. The only type of pics he can take are nature shots. Half of his page is composed of stray cats he finds on the way to Jujutsu High.)

(Another Side Note: While in Shinjuku you were absolutely obsessed with the giant cat billboard. Gojo and Suguru teamed up to tease you the rest of the trip since you wouldn't shut up about it. Suguru took a video of you gazing up at the billboard with a stupid look on your face. He loved it so much, he made it into his profile picture.)

Although not a trendy spot, Gojo likes to take you to see the hundreds of vending machines around the area. It's like a fun little game between the two of you where you have to guess what the next vending machine is selling --- the face you make when you saw the panty-selling machine was absolutely to die for.

Whenever you walk by a particular vending machine (a very specific one too. The machine looks somewhat ragged and old, it's always hidden in a dark corner which is so sketchy but like whatever), you'll buy something for Gojo. Specifically those sugary coffee cans that he likes so much along with whatever sweet treat it sells.

(Side Note: 1. You swear you're like the only person who buys from that machine. 2. Originally, you had dared Gojo to try something from the sketchy machine and, being a man of pride, he did. He ended up loving them so much he bought 10. You had to pry the drinks out of his hands so he wouldn't die from a sugar overload or something. 3. The machine has different flavors, so every day you get him another flavor.)

Suguru likes to take you both to hidden gems like a lovely sushi shop tucked away in some narrow alley deep in some random abandoned street or something (that sounds so sketchy, plz don't do this unless you're in a large group and have some form of defense.)

There's this one shop he showed you, they only serve one specific meal that you never mind considering how well they cook it. Suguru had admitted that he frequents the little shop (since he was a child), so much so that the owner knows him very well.

The owner is this very kind elderly man whose restaurant has been in the family for years, and every time he sees Suguru fast approaching --- he stops whatever he's doing and runs outside to greet him.

When the owner first saw you, he had this wicked grin on his wrinkled face as he teased Suguru for bringing his little lover over. Cue a blushing Suguru desperately trying to explain your relationship while you just smile like a cheshire cat whose been gifted new blackmail material.

Anyways, hanging on the walls of the small shop are pictures of Suguru over the years. There's this really cute one where he's barely 5 years old. His clothes are all stained from the food yet his mouth is open wide to devour it. His hair in a small bun. You liked how he hasn't changed much throughout the years. You just hoped his tired expression would fade away soon

Suguru once took Gojo to a narrow street called Omoide Yokocho, which was lined up with bars and yakitori restaurants. Unfortunately, Suguru had to call you so you could help him with a very drunk white-haired who couldn't hold his alcohol to save the life of him. When you arrived, Gojos greeted you with a tight hug as he kept shouting about how he got you some yakitori to try.

You took a video unbeknownst to him

(Add-on: Gojo really dislikes alcohol so you have no idea what made him want to drink that night. Plus, he obviously knows that he can't handle his alcohol so wtf bro)

Whenever one or the other can't join you and whoever you're currently with, you'll FaceTime the missing person ( yes yes, I know. FaceTime came out in 2010 but like for the sake of me not re-doing this bit, we advancing technology just a bit)

Your MySpace page, while private, was primarily composed of screenshots of these sorts of situations. With either Gojo or Suguru in a corner, posing for the screenshot. (The same goes for when you're not there!)

It should be noted that you were the type of person who posted pictures of others and not yourself. So seeing your own face on your page was a rare sight.

I have no idea how myspace works again

There's this one where you're hanging out with Haibara and Kento at a restaurant surrounded by rubber ducks --- while on a subway train, Haibara had heard whispers of a restaurant that only accepted rubber ducks instead of money. He already knew you'd be down for it, any excuse to explore. The only one who took convincing was Kento, but he quickly agreed Haibara's puppy eyes.

You hung onto both of their elbows the entire way there, joyful at the idea of having your own set of personal bodyguards

Moving on

There's this massive Ferris wheel located in Tokyo where one can karaoke while up in the air --- let me be the first to say that you and Gojo went absolutely ape shit for this while Suguru was just happy to be there.

Considering that you haven't been in Japan long enough to know any of the true classics, actually that's a lie. During those knitting Friday classes with Yaga, Yaga would play classic Japanese hits from the 90's. Either way, the sight of you trying to figure out the lyrics to every song earned you quite the number of cackles

Gojo always chose the catchy ones whilst Suguru chose the cheesy romance ones --- you were the backup singer for the most part

Suguru hit his head alot as he came out of the carriage

I don't remember if I added it or not, but in the beginning, you had this habit of holding onto either Gojo's or Suguru's shirt whenever you guys were walking around crowded areas. (I swear I wrote this somewhere) This little habit of yours had appeared fronting off on Suguru because he now does it. The three of you will be walking through an area and the crowds of people will just watch in amusement as three teenagers walk in front of them holding each other's shirts like a train. You holding Suguru's and Suguru holding Gojo's.

Ah, of course you had to take the bullet train at some point during your whole exploration. For this you were accompanied by both your boys AND Ieiri, who only came along due to Gojo promising to pay for all of your meals at your soon-to-be-reached destination (yep what a sugar daddy)

You were obsessed with how sleek the train looked. The seats were nice and comfortable, mainly because Gojo had bought First Class tickets.

Eventually, you wanted to explore more of the train so you bid the group a temporary farewell as you headed out to the other parts.

Oh my god, there must've been some promotional event on the train because, next thing you know, you're standing in front of some red panda mascot dancing in the aisle while giving out flyers and small plushie keychains of its figure.

Wanting one of the keychains, you approached the giant mascot-wearing person. Tapping their plushie shoulder, the Panda turned around with a soft noise only to stiffen up at the sight of you with a shriek in tow.

"Hi, could I have a key-" In an obvious frenzy, the Panda pushed the merchandise into your hands before barreling through you to the next cart

"Oi! What's the matter with you?" You screamed at the Panda.

And the Panda accidentally gave you three.

"Wait, you gave me two extra!"

But they were already gone

This is an obvious reference to Bullet Train. Fuck you Brad Pitt, hello Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Can't wait for meemaw to let go of you 😏

"Excuse me," a deep voice called out from behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you sent the light green soul a polite yet questioning look.

His outline is strange. It's fuzzy in some places yet clear in others.

"You dropped this," he said as he held up your wallet in the air. You silently noted how a bag of fish hung around his other one.

(Side Note: You have a recognizable wallet thanks to Kento, who gifted it to you. The wallet itself is in the shape of a black maneki-neko, so everyone in the group knows that it's yours the moment they see it.)

"Oh! Thanks!" Grabbing the item from his grasp, you settled it into your uniforms pockets. You politely smiled at him as you stepped away only to stop when you heard his voice call out for you

"Wait!" Licking your lips, your fingers twitched at you sides as you, once again, turned to meet the guy. "Yes?"

The man actually seemed to squirm upon receiving the end of your rather unnerving stare, almost as if you were staring into his soul

Ha!

"I couldn't help but overhear, they gave you an extra, right? I, uh, know a kid and I figured the twerp would like one."

That is so fucking sus

But like, not your business

Upon hearing his words, you quickly acted, "Oh! Yeah sure! Here." Placing the keychain into the palm of his hand, you strutted away. Heading back in the direction of your friend group.

On the way to your friend's, you came across a Train Attendant who seemed to be having a little argument with a young man who looked dead on his feet --- even his soul had dark circles around his eyes. Might also explain why he's slurring his words all over the place and why the train lady is beyond confused

The closer you got, the more you understood the situation and well, you might as well help while you get the gang some snacks

"Excuse me, I think he's asking for some coffee?" You snorted at the sight of his eyes twinkling at the fact that someone actually managed to decipher his nonsense.

Cute

The scene only got funnier when the lady handed him his cup of coffee and he, out of sheer desperation as well as sleep deprivation, dropped his briefcase onto the floor after reaching out for the cup with his two hands

A literal mess, you mused to yourself.

You had to help him with his briefcase. Plus the fact that he could barely reach his seat without tripping over literal air. He'll, you even helped straighten out his suit, going so far as to rub the golden button on his left lapel to bring it a bit of shine back --- he thanked you profusely.

He offered to give you money in return for your aid but you refused, "You have a kind soul, which is rare. So, don't worry about it. Think of it as me giving back all the good you've done."

Mans was gobsmacked as he watched you leave the train car after ordering a few snacks from the lady

FINALLY YOU REACHED THE BESTIES

As always, Gojo loves to drape himself over people. Specifically, you or Suguru...or both! Both ire better in his professional opinion.

"You were gone a while! Where the hell were you?!" The white haired nagged, brows knitted together to display annoyance only to quell as Suguru drew his long fingers through Gojo's hair.

He'll need a hair cut by the end of the week, Suguru noted.

"Got you something, Ieiri." You threw her the red panda keychain, earning you a delighted squeal from said woman.

"What about us, hm? Don't neglect us now~!" Sugurus teased with a sly close-eyed smile.

And for that, you threw the snacks straight at his face...although, you did feel something else in your bag when you went to throw the snacks

Plopping yourself beside Suguru, who immediately drew his arm around your shoulders as he laid his head on your shoulder, you pulled out the piece of paper from your bag

A simple little thing

Barely any words on it

Fancy though, considering the shiny gold metallic paint adorning it.

"What's that?" Gojo asked, looking up at it from his place on Suguru's lap

You shrugged, "Dunno, must've grabbed it by accident when I paid for the snacks."

As expected, both your boys paid little attention to the card as they started to bicker about something irrelevant to you

But still, the little card in your hands captured your attention. Turning it around, you observed the image painted onto its canvas, your thumb running over it.

Oh, there's a phone number under it.

Huh

Crumpling the piece of paper in your fist, you threw it into your bag to be long forgotten under the pile of random shit you have in there.

(Side Note: Prior to these items ending up in your bag, they'd be with Ieiri, who swore she'd end up finding some use for them. She has this strange tendency to consume trendy things only to never use them in the end, so she'll just give it to you for safe keeping.)

You seriously have to purge your bag now because of that bitch

Suddenly, Gojo smacks the side of your face after having tried to get your attention for the past ten minutes

You look at him, he looks at you.

Iridescent vs. Pearlescent

It gets eerily silent before you shove him to the ground, earning you an angry hiss from the albino Pomeranian.

Suguru is holding you back, albeit struggling. Who knew you had such strength

While Ieiri cheers 'Fight! Fight! Fight!' in the background

What a way to end the day

...

(A/N): August 4 me: This chapter took so bucking long to write. When I finally got to writing, the Benadryl I took started hitting and I had to stop before I passed out on the spot lol

August 5: I just did exercise and my legs are fucking killing me rn.

August 6: I just woke up. My legs don't hurt as much so that's nice. Also I know I dreamt of something interesting but I can't remember so meh. At least, I woke up with an idea of how I wanted this episode to be written.

Originally:

This chapter was going to open with a whole different scene inspired by something I read while researching a bit on Japan; however, I realized that it would be best to postpone the original scene until a later chapter, specifically Artificial Paradise.

You were supposed to come across a certain someone on the Bullet Train; however, I chose against it and decided for the next big thing. Can you guess who it was?

"What about us, hm? Don't neglect us now~!" It was supposed to have been said by Gojo; however, Suguru felt like having a teasing streak so he said it. Additionally, Suguru already knew Gojo rather well so he beat him to it.

Originally, Gojo wanted to give you a pink maneki-neko but he refrained from doing so.

Being a Red Panda mascot is actually Ijichi's part-time job. When Ijichi saw you, he panicked because he knew how close you were with Gojo and he didn't need that idiot of a man to have more ammo for his bullying. Yes, you instantly recognized Ijichi. You were so going to give him a piece of your mind later.

Gojo previously noted how exhausted you seemed after all those missions, and how Suguru was more quiet than usual so he decided a few days of hanging out doing dumb shit would help brighten you two up. Aw, Gojo is trying really hard bro. I almost feel bad for him.

A drunk Gojo must be a funny sight. Poor guy, something must've been stressing him out if he ordered a few drinks.

I missed your interactions with Ieiri so obvs I had to include some here. She's number 1 girl bestie.

Isn't it strange how fuzzy outlines put you on edge, to the point you'd easily defer to instinctive violence at the sight of it?

Who do you think the guy with the briefcase was? His appearance is actually more of a cameo ncjcj --- I'll give you a hint, he recently graduated from law school 🤪

What's the weird image on the back of the card? Who would answer if you called?

Maneki-Neko's are those kitties that wave their arm, they sit in front of shops. Usually. A black Maneki-Neko is designed to ward off evil and provide better security.

No, your eyes are not Pearlescent. In fact, your eyes are whatever color you want them to be, just with a little glow to them. Though, it should be noted, it's just like Gojo's eyes. His eyes are actually blue, but his soul's eyes are iridescent. So while your physical eyes are one color, your soul's eyes are another. (This only applies to cursed techniques that involve the eyes)

Drop a comment!

Feel free to buy me a 🦩

Hope you enjoyed!

[hanckocks-dagger]

oh, the night's so blue

masterlist

John hancock x f!reader

Description: After a drunken one night stand with your boss and mayor, you'd planned on hiding out in your room for several months. Those plans get delayed when Nate, general of the Minutemen and your childhood friend, asks you to join him on a quest in the west of the Commonwealth.

Tags: Drunken one night stand, Hancock is a pining simp, and a slut. Reader is not SoSu, has afab characteristics and is referred to with she/her pronouns through the story. No y/n

Warnings: Smut! Drunk sex, consentual but I'll throw in the dubcon tag anyway, talk of violence, guns and drugs a lá Fallout ofc

Word count: 6.1K

Notes: So this is a one-shot that sort of feeds into an idea I've had in my head for a while, of a reader that knew Nate from before the bombs, who either ended up in Vault 111 as well or something similar, but got out about a year before Nate did. This might end up turning into a series of semi-connected one-shots or I might just cut it off here, but I definitely have some other ideas for this story rolling around in my head. More story focused than some of my other fics, delving a bit more into what actually living in the game's story would be like, but of course a hefty dose of our lovely Hancock. But I really like Nate, and I didn't want to make the reader the Sole Survivor so we could see the two of them interact. Also my Nate build is usually high charisma, high strength and low intelligence (idiot savant perk ofc), so he's a bit of a himbo <3 my fav type of man.

Also just a small and totally irrelevant thing, but I headcanon Nate/the sole survivor as choosing not to smoke, just because the player isn’t able to smoke in the game. Just a fun tidbit I threw in there. Also, I’m a smoker and I have friends who aren’t and the relentless back and forth teasing is always fun. They all vape anyway, so it’s just a race for who gets cancer first lmao. 

Cross posted on my ao3!

"What's the status on the top shelf stuff?" You yelled out from the back room, wiping drops of sweat from your forehead before they could drop into your eyes. Sure, the new beer tap was ingenious, making the closest thing to actual fresh beer since you'd come out on this side of the cryo-chamber, but goddamn were the canisters heavy.

"Almost out of moonshine, luv," Charlie called from the bar, tinny cockney accent carrying through the open space.

That was fine, you could drop by and speak to Vadim tomorrow before opening, as long as Hancock could supply the caps and lend you some help to carry the bottles back.

"Anything else?" You grunted, heaving a full canister back out to the front, bending down to connect the pipes.

"I think you should start carrying some Fireball, I know how much you used to like it," A new voice spoke up from the other side of the bar, startling you into banging your head on the underside of the bartop. You cursed, shooting to your feet, finding a ginning, familiar face on the other side.

"Nate!"

He said your name back with the same amount of enthusiasm, slouched in one of the barstools, familiar bright blue vault suit looking a little worse for wear.

"When did you get in? How did you get in?" You asked, eyes flitting about. Sure enough, there in the background, spread over one of the couches was mayor Hancock, speaking with a smiling Magnolia and a broody looking MacReady.

"Just landed in town, figured I'd come say hi before crashing at the Rexford."

"Well, shit," You breathed, wiping your sweaty hands on a dishrag, "Can I get you a drink? I want to hear about this oh-so-secret mission you were on."

"Sure, I'll take a beer."

You fished over a clean-ish looking glass, gave it a quick wipe for good measure, and poured. The movements were practiced, muscle memory from a lifetime ago taking over as you tilted the glass, filled it, flicked the spout the other way for some top foam. You slid it over the bar, accepting Nate’s smile as payment. 

You grabbed yourself a glass, calling out to Charlie as you filled the glass with ice, “I’m calling it a night, just leave me a list of whatever needs to be done in the morning.

You poured yourself some of the top shelf stuff, nothing good by pre-war standards, but nowadays it was rare and mostly didn't taste like it was 200 years old.

You stepped around the bar, planning on planting yourself on a stool next to Nate, but he was already rising to his feet, heading for the rest of the group.Hiding your awkwardness, you trailed after him. You knew MacReady tangentially, sometimes bringing him drinks into the backroom, keeping an eye out for disagreements and sometimes running up to get Ham when things were getting out of hand. Magnolia was your coworker of course, and there was plenty to talk about after long shifts, but she was– technically speaking– about twenty years your senior, and married to her job in a way you weren't.

Then there was Mayor Hancock. A charming flirt at the best of times, happy to stand up for you on the job, as the owner of the bar, after all, but there was always something about him you never managed to crack, never straying away from genial small talk. Small talk, of course, these days, meant discussing the last Super Mutant raid, or let him rattle off about his favorite chems. As you approached, he tipped his hat at you and you responded with a little curtsy, using your free hand to tug on your apron like a skirt. 

You fell onto the couch beside Nate, stirring your drink with a finger, using your other hand to untie the apron around your waist. Being off your feet felt good. There were no clocks in the Third Rail, and no windows, so your sense of time tended to get a bit skewed, but seeing as Ham usually tossed out the stragglers by 5 am and you'd had a mess and a half to clean up, you assumed it must be closing in on dawn. A rough 12 hour shift made your liquor feel earned, as you sipped at it, feeling the warmth spread through your chest.

"So," You said, catching Nate's attention before he could get sucked into the others' conversation, "What was the notorious General of the Minutemen up to this week? Liberating some more settlements?"

"Mmm, actually doing some work for the Railroad," His tone went hushed, unnecessary and strangely endearing, as everyone in the bar knew and was at least non-committal about their activities.

"Ahh," You replied, matching his tone. "Did it go well?"

"It went fantastically. I brought my own team in," He motioned with his beer toward Hancock and MacCready, "But we ended up getting some help from another agent, too. And, man, what a lady," he went a bit starry eyed, making you laugh.

"Got a little crush, Nathaniel?"

He snorted, and you spotted the tinge of red in his cheeks with glee. 

"Nothing like that, but what a powerhouse. You should have seen her, mowing them down with a minigun."

"Don't sell yourself short, Nate, I've seen you in Power Armor before. Unstoppable force and all that."

Ever humble, Nate's cheeks turned rosier, and he glanced down at his drink. You watched his Adam's apple bob, the shy smile that graced his features.

To put him out of his misery, you turned to the group at large, "So, does this mean you've returned our beloved mayor back, or are you heading out again?"

Hancock's attention snapped up from MacReady so he could grin at you, "What, you missed me doll?"

"Well, you do sign my paychecks," You smiled back at him, then remembered, "Oh, yeah, speaking of, I have to go over to Diamond City tomorrow to get more of Bobrov's best, maybe I can steal Nate to help me ferry it all back."

He hummed, "What d'ya say, brother? 100 caps to keep my favorite employee safe?"

From behind the bar, Charlie gave his best impression of a grunt, "I resent that, mayor!"

"'M sorry, Charlie, you just don't have her charm."

"Or her tits," Magnolia chimed in, twirling an unlit cigarette in her fingers as she smirked at you.

You flushed, eyes flitting around, finally landing on Hancock and MacReady's empty glasses, "Refills, boys?"

"Thought you'd clocked out," MacReady said, even as he handed over his glass. "Well, I'm the club's ambassador even after hours, gotta keep the reputation up."

"You best not be giving free drinks to every sorry brother that walks in here," Hancock called after you as you stepped behind the bar.

"Mm, no," You sing-songed back, "Only my favorites."

The night passed easily. You stayed by Nate’s sidelistening to him tell tales of the people he'd been meeting, the farm he recruited for the minutemen last week. He didn't delve too far into this last mission, always the good soldier who followed orders. You spent about twenty minutes trying to guess his secret Railroad code name.

"Mmmm, buttercup."

"Not even close."

"Sugar bomb?"

The look of offense he gave you was so scathing it had you spitting out half your beer over the table, doubled over in laughter as he complained.

"It relates to my prowess as an agent, not some pre-war pet name!"

"Fine, fine, uhhhh. Striker? Shadow? Tank?"

"Honestly, these are terrible. Never open a baby naming business."

"Uhm, excuse you," You said, taking a sip of beer to try and reduce the heat in your cheeks, "I would make excellent raider names. Chainsaw, evil-eye, uhhhhh," You cast your eyes around, searching for inspiration, "Ricky."

"Ricky?" MacReady asked, eyebrows knit in confusion, "What's wrong with Ricky?"

"Dunno," You shrugged, "Doesn't he just sound like an asshole?" You put on an air, repeated 'Ricky' in an ominous voice, which got MacReady and Nate to crack up again.

Magnolia vanished up to the surface after a bit of flirting with Hancock, insisting on her beauty sleep. As was your usual, you whistled after her, calling lewd, joking comments as she walked up the steps. As was her usual, she gave you a scowl and the middle finger.

"Ehhh, I'll get her to crack one of these days," You murmured into your beer, that tipsy, never ending giddy smile stuck on your lips. You caught Hancock's eye where he sat, now alone on the couch, spread eagle with his gangly limbs. When he spotted you, he gave you a grin, cigarette in his teeth.

Suddenly you desperately wanted a smoke. You patted your own pockets, found that you'd left them at home. You cursed the you from the morning for whatever logic had made that choice, suddenly desperate for nicotine.

Your head, resting against the back of the couch, lolled to look over at Nate. Who, of course, didn't and had never smoked. Goody-two-shoes.

So, you clambered to your feet, ignoring the ache that made itself apparent, and collapsed over besides Hancock.

"Does the good mayor have some cigarettes to share?" You asked, hand on his knee, leaning in close to be heard over a playful argument MacReady and Nate had started.

Hancock's smile got wider somehow, those deep dark eyes crinkling at the corner, giving the appearance of crow's feet.

"For you? Always." He dug around in the deep pocket's of that crazy coat, pulling out a cigarette case. Instead of handing you one, though, he plucked the one from his mouth and stuck it into yours.

Brain slowed by a long shift and plenty of alcohol, it took a moment for the action to catch up with, fingers rising slowly to pluck at the cigarette. You blinked at him, but he seemed unphased, pulling out another cigarette from his case and lighting it.

You leant back in the couch as your brain caught up on his move, staring blankly at a gesturing Nate, MacReady equally engrossed, somehow having missed the interaction that now had your brain reeling. Hancock's arm was stretched out behind you, tantalizingly close, fingers almost tickling the hairs at the back of you neck. You felt the chill of goosebumps, shook off the urge to shiver.

You puffed at the cigarette instead, slowly sinking back in the couch, reverting back to the sort of talk you were used to with the mayor, "How'd you like the trip? Nice to get out of the city?"

Hancock took it in stride, as he did everything, "Oh, yeah. Makes you forget what's out there, staying too long in these walls."

You hummed your assent. You stuck to Goodneighbor because you wanted to stay alive. The furthest you'd ventured in the last year was scoping out that brewery for the Rexford. But Hancock was a ghoul, and even so was more careless with safety than anyone else you knew. Getting out of the city, with only yourself and the stars as company... it was a romantic idea.

"So, what, we're gonna become the Railroad's home base now?" You teased,

"Not exactly," Hancock replied, flicking ash off the end of his cigarette, "But Nate knows his shit, and he trusts them. They're doing good, dontcha think?"

You considered this, rolling it around in your liquor soaked brain, "I guess it depends on whether you think the synths are just robots or... y'know, slaves being put through just as much pain as we are."

Hancock nodded, eyes trained on you, expression curious. For all his flirting, Hancock was easily one of the more respectable men you'd met, always willing to listen, even if he was usually a bit too out of his mind to interpret it. He was whip-smart, too, when he was sober enough to put a thought together.

"I suppose it depends on if you believe in the soul. Do you, Mayor Hancock?" Some deep-seated, long ago buried urge reared his head. You remembered being a kid, sitting in a diner with high-school friends, batting your eyelashes at a crush of yours, a coy smile on your face, trying for a sultry voice and missing it by a mile. But now you were about two hundred years older, and had a few years of experience under your back.

So when you looked at Hancock through lidded eyes, purposely hollowed your cheek as you sucked on your cigarette, the one that had been in his mouth before yours, you could appreciate his reaction. The widening of his eyes, the way the hand behind your head seemed to move just a bit closer, the minute shift of his hips as his body turned further towards you.

"I think I'm a bit too sober for those kinds of questions," He snickered. Being a Ghoul made determining age difficult, but sometimes you were sure Hancock was young, younger than you even, the way he carried himself, the carelessness of a teenager.

You smiled back, soft, put your cigarette out in an ashtray on the table, picking up your glass instead.

Hancock said your name, sultry, and that hand finally brushed your shoulder, a gentle, teasing touch.

You answered with a smile, a tilted, " John," followed by a sip from your drink, one you concentrated all your effort into drinking as normally as you could. If you let your tongue slide over your lips to catch the lingering taste, well, no one had to know.

"You know," You said, voice hushed as if you were revealing a great secret, "I feel like I don't know you well enough. You haven't been around enough since you hired me."

"I knew I left the bar in good hands," As if to prove his point, his fingers teased over your bare forearm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Maybe, I should- ah- give you a tour of the Old State House sometime."

The innuendo was painfully obvious, accompanied by a lecherous wink, but you felt your face flush anyway, ridiculously charmed by his brazenness.

Charlie ended up kicking the four of you out, insisting on sweeping before the sun came up. On the way up the stairs, conspicuously a few steps behind Nate and MacReady, the two of you got a bit too handsy, after you'd spent the last couple of minutes petting the velvet of his coat, hypnotized by the luxurious softness of the ancient costume, as Hancock rattled off history facts about Boston, some of which you'd half remembered from history class.

"Found the old fucker's diary in a closet on the second floor," He'd said, as your fingers traced down his arms, across his chest, barely disguised fascination. You wanted to steal his hat, tuck it onto your hair, flick it the way Hancock often did.

"That old bastard was– was kinkier than you could ever imagine," His voice stuttered as your fingers traced near his navel, studying the stitching on the waistcoats he wore.

"Oh yeah?" You snickered, loose enough with drinks to lose your impulse control chasing after whatever felt good in the moment. Mostly that had been cigarettes, but now it was the idea of kissing him, of feeling that mouth on you, anywhere.

"The mayor of Goodneighbor," You breathed, smoothing out his collar, "Keeping himself busy with five hundred year old porn."

Hancock laughed with you.

Outside, the two of you stumbled apart, leaning against the brick wall to share a cigarette, Nate and MacReady somehow still talking, even if Nate was shooting you curious glances and MacReady smirked every time your eyes passed over him.

Eventually, though, when a too loud sentence awoke a grumbling drifted who threatened to hurl a bottle at Nate, it was time to call it a night.

Nate clapped Hancock on the shoulder and kissed your cheek, which got him a punch on the arm, a bit harder than you meant to with the alcohol in your system. He took it like a champ, of course, calling out, "Have fun!" As he rounded the corner towards the Rexford.

MacReady vanished with a tip of his cap, leaving you with smoke in your mouth and the morning sun in your eyes.

"You want to take that tour now, doll?" The brush of a teasing hand over your lower back.

You thought about your dusty apartment, of waking up in a few hours to repeat the same shift for the millionth time. A cold bed, empty.

"Yeah," You breathed, hand catching on the fluttering sash around Hancock's waist, setting a firm pace and tugging him along with you like a dog on his leash. His hands found your hips before you even made it to the door, pinning you against the old wood to kiss you, deep and warm and wet. Your arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer, till you stood hip-to-hip, chest-to-chest.

Somehow, one of you got the door open, falling through the door, walking each other in an embrace towards the staircase. The kiss deepened, Hancock licked into your mouth as you bumped into the banister, struggled to keep your balance.You let him lead, pushing you backwards up the stairs, hands always gentle, ready to catch you if you tripped.

It was a drunken fumble, your shirt rucked up, trying to get all his stupid buttons unbuttoned as you staggered to the stairs, his lips suddenly attached to your neck.

His hands moved to your exposed waist as you reached the second floor, greedy hands moving over the expanse of skin. You huffed against his mouth, finding it unfair as you struggled to even get under his ridiculous fucking shirt, finally managing to sneak a hand under it, nails gently scratching against rough skin. You weren't exactly versed in Ghoul anatomy, but you'd heard enough complaining from drifters at the bar about the lack of feeling in their skin to know you'd have to push a little deeper, press a little harder. Sure enough, as Hancock lead you stumbling towards his bedroom, you pushed your hand up to his chest, pressing down into the meat of one of his shoulders, you received a deep groan against your mouth.

Then suddenly you were in the Mayor's bedroom. Clean enough, by the wasteland standards. Strewn with chems, as you'd anticipated, but the bed looked as clean as you could be.

Hancock had ended up behind you, hands sneaking around to your ass, your collar pushed to the side so he could kiss the exposed skin of your shoulder. It felt... nice. Soft. Softer than you'd anticipated from him. It sent an ache through you, not to your core, though electricity tingled, desperate for attention you hadn't provided it with in years. The ache was in your heart, extending out to your lungs, stealing your breath the way his kisses had, as he gently guided you towards the bed.

You spun around in his arms to capture his lips again, nipping at his bottom lips, hands moving to his waist, sneaking down into his waistband. The two of you danced around the room, lips locked, hands moving as clothes were unbuttoned, tossed to the side, shoes pulled off.

Then you were naked, falling onto a surprisingly plush mattress, as Hancock dropped his coat onto the back of his desk chair, pants unbuttoned and half falling off his skinny hips. He left the hat on, even as he stripped everything else off, and it made you huff a quiet, airy giggle. He grinned back at you, always happy to be happy, as he crawled on top of you, bracketing you between his legs.

His dick was the same as the rest of him, scarred and pocked, but you found you didn't mind in the slightest as your hands wandered downwards, teasingly gentle touches running over him, drawing out airy breaths and groans.

You were quick to guide him into you, pulling him down for a kiss when he entered you, sending shocks of burning pain through you, uncomfortable but manageable. Still, he noticed, unfocused eyes blinking down at you, a frown on his face.

"What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong," You breathed, even through the tension of your muscles, "Just– uh– been a while. Gimme a moment."

He seemed unsure for a moment, looking as if he wanted to pull out, but you forced a calm through your muscles, slowly feeling him inch his way further inside, until the two of you were hip to hip. You breathed through the sting, shutting your eyes and guiding his face to your neck, happy when he got the hint and nipped at your skin. Your breath got shaky when he found a perfect spit by the junction of your neck and your shoulder, feeling his teeth sink into the flesh, soothed quickly with his tongue, with his spit-slick lips.

"Okay," You breathed eventually, one hand holding the back of his neck, the other clutching at the muscle on his back, "You can move."

"Are you–"

"Hancock," You said, voice firm. In a more sober state, his caution would touch you, but you were desperate to feel the drag of him, to feel his hips working. "I'm a big girl, it's okay. You can move."

He bent down to kiss you as he slowly pulled his hips back. With conscious effort to keep your muscles calm, your side of the kiss was a bit half hearted, but you gasped into his mouth as he pushed back in, the stretch not painful but, "So fucking perfect," You breathed, "Just like that."

Hancock was amazingly receptive, somehow cataloging every moan and twitch, and he had you pushed into the mattress within minutes, gasping and shaking beneath him. His hips drove into you at a perfect pace, his mouth moving to your tits, gentle bites at the soft skin, pulling your nipples into his mouth to flick at them with his tongue. Your whispered words of direction quickly dissolving into moans and gasps of his name.

Almost the exact second the thought of your clit popped into your head, his fingers were there, moving tight circles, pressure just the right side of too hard. You arched into him, a moan so loud it would have made you self conscious if you weren't too focused on driving him deeper, getting him closer, getting as much of his skin on you as you could.

Your orgasm approached with mounting tension in your muscled, strangled cries of more, harder, "Please, John."

You came with a strangled cry, every muscle in your body tensing and then going completely limp, gasps of air as your peak faded, replaced by a pleasant buzzing sensations. John's pace slowed as you shook, hands leaving your clit to grab at your hips, pull you towards him as he chased his own release. You were happy to let him, your hands exploring him leisurely, gripping at his biceps, his shoulders, wrapping around his neck to guide him into another kiss.

You could tell when he got close, the way his hips jerked, thrusts growing rushed and sloppy, desperate, the way his breath quickened, the way his dark eyes seemed to darken even further. At the last moment, he pulled out, wrapping his hand around his cock, haphazard pace the same as he fucked into his fist, a few more pumps and he came over your stomach. You tensed under the surprising heat of it, but relished the soft groan that escaped his mouth, head tilted back, mouth open,

He half collapsed on top of you, breathing against your mouth, only his arms holding him from falling into you. With every inhale, his expanding chest brushed against your breasts, every touch sending electric shots through you.

He collapsed beside you, still panting, one arm curling around your chest, just under your tits, pulling you into his side. "Just– give me a second, I'll get you something to clean up."

"Mmm," You breathed, relishing the heat of him, positive he was warmer than a normal person, the way it radiated off him, heating your skin at the contact points, "Don't worry about it. Deal with it in the morning." Your words were slurring, eyelids heavy.

"Mmm," Hancock agreed, tucking his face into your shoulder. He held you tight, like little kids held onto teddy bears. It was... nice. Unfamiliar to you, but, as you buried your head into the soft pillow, you supposed it was something you wouldn't mind getting used to.

You woke with a start, unfamiliar footsteps thudding above your head. It took a moment to reorient yourself, to recognize the walls you were blinking at, the hand tucked around your waist, the soft snores in your ear. Your head thudded, your mouth dry as a desert, tasting like cigarettes and whiskey. 

"Shit," You whispered, slowly extracting yourself from Hancock's warm arms, getting to your feet. Stark naked. Your pants were slung over a chair, one sock still in the pant leg, the other tossed onto a desk, surrounded by several tins of mentats and empty jet canisters.

"Fuck," You breathed, hopping around trying to get your socks on. One of your boots was on its side, halfway under the bed. Your shirt was hanging on the fucking doorknob and you tugged it on, ignoring the stale smell of sweat and alcohol that clung to it from last night’s shift.

You swept the room, but couldn't for the life of you find your underwear. The thought of leaving them somewhere was mortifying, but when Hancock shifted in the bed, you decided not to risk staying. You pulled your boots on, leaving them unlaced as you crept over the ancient floorboards. Seeing as Hancock was managing to sleep through the ruckus of the drifters on the top floor, you doubted the creak of the house would wake him, but you were still extra cautious as you cracked the bedroom doors open, just enough for you to slip through and rush down the staircase, pointedly not looking at any of the Neighborhood Watch.

Out in the semi-fresh morning air, you took a deep breath, mumbling another curse to yourself as you began a quick jog home, trying to avoid any knowing glances as you rounded a corner and shouldered the door to your apartment building open.

Shower, underwear, find Nate, get him to ask Hancock for the caps while you cowered in the background with sunglasses and a baseball cap over a dark hoodie. Fuck.

The shower was cold, obviously, and you counted your blessings for having running water at all, even if it was a bit too irradiated for comfort. You did your best to scrub fast, hands brushing through sweaty, greasy hair, soaping the necessary areas. You very pointedly did not linger on the dried, flaking cum on your stomach, exorcizing it with a washcloth and curses.

You were busy drying your hair with your dirty shirt, because whenever the water lingered too long it left an uncomfortable sheen over your hair and smelled a bit like a bog. A knock sounded at the door, sending ice through your veins, a response equivalent to the roar of a Deathclaw or the clicking of a Mirelurk.

For a moment, you contemplated crawling onto the rusty fire-escape outside your living room window and walking into downtown Boston to let some Super Mutants eat you.

Instead, though, you stepped over to the door, moments quiet as you contemplated what the fuck you were going to say. Last night was a mistake. You're my boss. I haven't had sex in two years and I'm sorry for leading you on, can I please have my panties back?

Another knock startled you out of your thoughts, fast and panicked, followed by the call of your name from a voice that definitely did not belong to Hancock.

You opened the door to a panting Nate, already back in his suit and armor, gun tossed over his shoulder.

"Nate?"

"Hey! Have fun last night?"

You flushed, even though his expression was nothing but kind; curious and happy for you, like a good friend should be.

"Uh. What's with the get up?" You deflected, which Nate took in stride.

"Distress call from the Minutemen, they asked me to head out west to Graygarden."

"The... farm run by robots?"

"Oh, that's what it is?"

"Wh- Never mind. What are you doing there?"

"Something about the water supply and Super Mutants. I'm leaving in a few minutes"

"Okay, that's fine, I'll drag someone else with me to Diamond City, no stress."

"No, I want you to come with me."

You blinked, hand tensing on the door frame, "Nate I'm not a fighter."

"Yes you are," He said, looking so genuinely confused it made your heart seize a bit, "We fought together. At Anchorage. Did you forget?"

"No, I didn't–" You swallowed. 

After returning home, witnessing massacre after massacre, you'd sworn to yourself you wouldn't get involved in that kind of shit. Even after the world ended, you'd managed to keep that promise. At night, alone in your cold bed, you could still hear the hissing of sentry bots, the creaking of power armor, the whistling of bullets. "I don't do that anymore, Nate."

Nate pulled one of his more serious faces, a rare sight for a man with seemingly endless drive and relentless optimism, even after losing more than you could imagine.

"Look. I understand what you're feeling–" You took a breath to interrupt him, because his blind patriotism had driven him forward when you'd lagged behind, weighed down by the blood on your hands. Nate pushed forward, "I know you don't believe me, but I really do. And nothing helped me heal those wounds like helping people."

"Helping robots." Your voice was flat.

"Who provide food for over a dozen settlements. You'd be doing good."

You bit your lip, casting your eyes over your apartment to avoid the earnest look in Nate's eyes. Sure, you were... content in your life. Goodneighbor was as safe as any settlement could be, you had steady income, some sort of purpose. But you remembered the day Nate had walked into the Third Rail with Nick Valentine on his heels, bleary eyed, vault suit still pristine. The way your heart had sung, the way an aching loneliness you'd felt since coming off the ice had faded.

Was this what the rest of your life would be? Slinging drinks, small talk with coworkers and bar patrons, waiting for the next time Nate would walk in through the doors like some yearning wife waiting for her husband to return from war?

Besides, you weren't going to be able from Hancock in his own fucking town, not for long.

You shut your eyes, feeling the phantom weight of a gun in your hands.

"Fuck. Fine."

The smile on Nate's face was like a kid's at Christmas.

"Great! I'll meet you at the front entrance in..." He glanced down at his pip-boy, "Thirty minutes?"

"Okay."

And he was off, leaving you standing in your doorway, blinking at nothing wondering what the fuck you'd agreed to.

Under your bed there were some loose floorboards you'd been using to store the important things. Your spare caps, your vault suit and pip-boy, your 10mm pistol and your combat shotgun. The former was familiar to you, used centuries ago in a war no one understood anymore. You'd grabbed it on your stumbling way out of the vault, and it was a good thing to or you would have gotten gored by some very territorial mole rats before even making it to a settlement. The shotgun had been stolen, in your trek to downtown Boston, taken off a raider you'd knocked out with a lead pipe. He'd clearly made some adjustments to it, with a hair trigger, less recoil than expected and a scope you'd never needed to use. You'd been meaning to sell it since you'd gotten in, but it had ended up in the floorboards where you'd simply hoped it would stay unless you were strapped for cash.

A knapsack was quickly filled with everything you needed, a change of clothes, a portable water purifier, all the food that would go to waste if you didn't take it with you. You tucked some spare caps into a hidden inside pocket, wrapping them in cloth to keep them from rattling. Your spare 10mm ammo, a few packs of cigarettes, a lighter, a flashlight.

The pistol was strapped into a thigh holster, a gun belt held your shotgun rounds. The shotgun went around your shoulder. They felt heavier than you remembered them being, their weight an oppressive reminder with every step you took out of your apartment. You'd need to let Charlie know you wouldn't be in for a while, and you'd need to stop by KL-E-0's for some spare parts. Easy enough, it was just the matter of avoiding certain tricorn-hat wearing mayors.

You kept your head down as you made your way through the street. You cut a more imposing figure with your armor, with the glint of weapons. People moved out of your way as you jogged towards the Third Rail, sliding in through the door like a mouse darting into its burrow.

You rattled like a tin can chime as you walked down the steps to the bar, announcing your approach before you could be seen, a cat with a bell. You were skittish, pausing at the last step to peek into the lounge, trying to spot a red coat, a familiar smile. Coast was clear.

"That the new uniform, then?" Charlie's voice nearly sent you flying, a squeak leaving you as the Mr. Handy suddenly appeared in view. The three eyes didn't exactly convey emotion well, but you could hear the dry amusement in his tone, maybe a hint of judgement.

"No, I uh–" You shook yourself, loosening the cotton in your brain, "Nate asked me to accompany him on a mission. Shouldn't take more than a week."

"Seven days and I'll file a missing person's report." Dry, dry, dry.

"Right," You breathed, gripping the banister like a life line, "Right. I appreciate the uh– The thought, Charlie. I'll see you around." Saliva filled your mouth, and you had a second to panic about throwing up on the floor as your stomach rolled, before the feeling faded.

Charlie didn't dignify you with a response, going right back to... whatever it was he did when the bar was closed, so you turned around, rattling right back up the stairs. First vacation in two years.

Again, you kept your head down as you walked through the alley towards Kill or Be Killed, pointedly avoiding letting your gaze slip to the Old State House, like the building itself would summon him. Something burned in your chest, not quite shame, but the next thing to it. In another life, you would've considered chewing on a baby aspirin, kept the landline in view, ready to dial 911, if you were having a heart attack. Now, though, you shrugged it off, grabbing your canteen and taking a greedy drink, washing away the cigarette taste that still lingered in your mouth.

KL-E-0 was in her usual place, piercing red eye landing on you.

"Well, don't you look dressed to kill."

You'd wondered, sometimes, if she had been especially programmed to sound so sultry, or if it was just her natural charm.

"Heading out for a while," You dug your bag of caps out of your pocket, placing it on the table as your eyes roamed over the wares available, "Think you could spare some grenades and shotgun shells?"

"Let's get you outfitted, killer."

The word left a sour taste in your mouth that had nothing to do with the cigarettes. You made it through the trade quickly, enough ammo to last you several encounters, enough grenades to get you through a couple rough spots. You left with your pockets lighter, your bandolier, pack and shoulders weighed down.

"Have fun, baby."

"Yeah, thanks, Kleo."

Nate was standing by the entrance, a respectable distance from the Neighborhood Watch, a focused frown on his face as he fiddled with his Pip-boy. He looked up when you approached, frown turning to a bright smile.

"So," you said, shouldering your gun, "Ready to head off?"

"Not quite, we're still waiting on the rest of the party. You know how he is, always fashionably late."

You didn't manage to get out your confused "Who?" Before a familiar hand was clapping Nate on the shoulder, saying, "So! Ready to get this show on the road?"

Fuck.

Notes: This is so insanely self indulgent it’s crazy, but I do hope you enjoyed at least a little <3

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Bonnie Gold would include:

In one word, I'd say - exciting. He's very passionate, he likes to have fun, He loves to joke around, and likes to test the limits of your patience. His personality is a mixture of sweetness and feistiness, and he's always willing to try new things. My only requirement to date me: you can't break my heart.

He's a bit protective and possessive in relationships, but he tries not to be too clingy. He likes to have his own space and time to himself, but he also wants to make sure you spend enough time together. He's not really into drama or playing games, so he's pretty straightforward when it comes to relationships. He believes in honesty, trust, and communication.

Dating him means being with someone who is open, honest, and loving. He'll always be there when you need him, and he'll do everything he can to make you happy. You can expect loyalty and commitment from me, along with plenty of laughs and adventures. he loves having fun, and he'll always keep things interesting. He doesn't take life too seriously, and he knows how to enjoy the little things.

He appreciates the finer things in life, so he'll treat you like the king/queen you are and shower you with gifts and surprises. He's a good listener and he's always willing to talk about your day, whether it was good or bad. Dating him also means being a part of his world. His family is very important to him, so you should expect to get to know them too.

A relationship with him means that you'll have someone who will always have your back, no matter what. He's that shoulder to cry on, that listening ear, that hand to hold, and that person you can count on when things get tough. Dating him means that you can count on him to be there for you through the ups and downs of life.

His work with the Peaky Blinders definitely affects the relationship. It's a dangerous and volatile business, and he often has to balance the demands of his job with the needs you also have. It's not always easy, but he tries to ensure that you feel supported and understood.

He wouldn't expect you to come to every fight, but he would definitely want you there for the biggest moments in his boxing career, when he's not training or fighting, having your support and encouragement means a lot to him. Having you in his corner is a big blessing to him.

He tries to be empathetic and reassuring, and he tries to create an open dialogue so that you can communicate about any issues that may arise. If the jealousy becomes excessive or possessive, then it's time for a more serious conversation about boundaries and expectations.

He's a very affectionate person and he loves showing you affection, whether that's verbal or physical. He likes making sure you know how he feels and he likes making you feel loved and appreciated. It's also important for him to receive affection from you because it's a way of expressing how you feel about him and your relationship.

He's a big fan of dates. He likes to come up with creative and unique ideas for dates and make them memorable. He likes to plan ahead but also likes to be spontaneous and let the night take you wherever it may be. He does try to put a lot of thought and effort into making your dates special.

He's also very protective of you. He'll always do what he can to keep you safe, whether it's from other people or dangerous situations. He's proud of his strength and his ability to stand up for himself and those he loves.

In addition to the demands of his work, he also has to consider the dynamics of being a Gypsy boy. He grew up in a world of violence and crime, and he has a deep-rooted connection to his culture and heritage. That connection can sometimes be tricky to balance with the more conventional lifestyle that you may live. He's aware and respectful of the differences between your backgrounds, and he tries to find ways to incorporate both into your relationship in a positive way.

This comes with its own set of challenges when it comes to a romantic relationship. Gypsy culture is known for its strong sense of family and the importance of tradition. In addition to that, there's also the stereotype that Gypsy men are not faithful or committed in their relationships. He's aware of these stereotypes and aims to challenge and disprove them making it clear you're the only one for him.

He's a very independent and self-sufficient person. He has his own goals and aspirations, and he doesn't depend on anyone else to meet his needs. He's strong-willed and passionate, and he doesn't let anything hold him back. Though he may appear hard on the outside, he's actually quite soft on the inside, and he has a vulnerable side that he reserves for those he loves.

He is very open-minded and versatile. He's a very social person and enjoys meeting new people and exploring different cultures. It's important to him to be accepting and open-hearted, and he's willing to try new things and step out of his comfort zone.

Dating him means experiencing the most intense and thrilling relationship you could ever imagine. He's a passionate, determined, and independent soul, and he brings out the best in everyone around him. He's not afraid of a challenge, and always pushes himself to better himself. He's loyal, trustworthy, and always there for those he loves. He's a spark of energy that ignites the fire within you.

His family is very protective of him and it's important to them that they like and get along with the person he's dating. He's very close with his family, so he cares a lot about their opinions. They can be daunting at times.

Marriage is definitely something he sees in his future. He's like a hopeless rom-com romantic, after all, and the thought of growing old with the person he loves is very appealing to him. He may not be the most traditional person, but he believes in commitment and he's ready to make the ultimate commitment. That's not to say that he's in a rush to get married-- He needs that special spark to make it last forever.

On the topic of children, he does want to have them one day. Having a family with you is a dream of his. He knows you both have plenty of time to start a family, but he knows that he can provide a loving, safe, and nurturing environment for the children. He's not sure exactly how many he wants, but there's nothing wrong with waiting.

Finally, I'd like to end by saying that he's far from a perfect person. He's flawed and makes mistakes, but I think that's what makes him real. He's not afraid to show his vulnerability and open up to the people he really trusts. He's willing to learn and grow, and he's always looking to improve himself. If you're looking for someone who's open-minded, independent, and true to himself, then he may just be the one for you.

He really enjoys intimacy and emotional connections with you. He is a very caring and sensitive person and appreciates feeling close to someone in a deeper way than just physically. He's also a very affectionate person and loves showing his love and appreciation through physical closeness.

He also enjoys various forms of pain play, such as inflicting or receiving pain as part of your play. The rush of adrenaline and the release of endorphins can be very pleasurable and satisfying. He's particularly fond of certain types of pain, like sharp or burning sensations, which can really get his motor running.

He enjoys some lighter forms of play, like gentle care and affection. He loves being told that he's loved and cherished and finds it very healing to be comforted and supported by you.

Activities like cuddling, kissing, and roleplay scenarios. Cuddling with you after a long day of work or a particularly intense session of play is a great way for him to show you how much he cares about you and how much he enjoys being close to you.

Foreplay is also essential for him – He loves taking his time building up anticipation and excitement before finally diving into full-on intercourse or other forms of sexual activity.

He loves teasing you by running his fingers lightly over your skin, whispering naughty comments in your ear, or leaving you hanging on the edge of orgasm for extended periods without letting you climax.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for Undertale and Deltarune introjects!

All introjects are unique, wonderful, and amazing in their own ways! Of course, fictives whose source is Undertale of Deltarune belong in our spaces and make the plural community a better place. We love y’all and want to support and uplift you however we can! So here’s to all the UTDR introjects out there!

❤️ Shoutout to UTDR introjects who have never played or interacted with the game/s they are sourced from!

🧡 Shoutout to UTDR introjects with pseudomemories, exomemories, or other source memories that are an important part of who they are!

💛 Shoutout to UTDR introjects who regularly choose to ACT with kindness, compassion, or mercy towards others in their lives!

💚 Shoutout to UTDR introjects who formed due to their system’s special interest or hyperfixation!

💙 Shoutout to UTDR introjects whose source is a one-off character, background character, or who has little to no dialogue or interaction in the game they are found in!

💜 Shoutout to those who are introjects of their system’s or a system member’s UTDR original characters!

💙 Shoutout to UTDR introjects who love their source, feel strongly connected to their source, or love playing the video game they are sourced from!

💚 Shoutout to inrojects of characters who appear in both Undertale and Deltarune!

💛 Shoutout to introjects of concepts, aesthetics, mechanics, or other aspects of UTDR besides the characters!

🧡 Shoutout to UTDR introjects who have been shamed, made fun of, or fakeclaimed in the past because of their source!

❤️ Shoutout to UTDR introjects who have messy, complicated, or confusing relationships with their source!

We hope that every Undertale or Deltarune introject who sees this can know that you are so loved, and are an important part of their system and the plural community just the way you are! Your voice matters, your perspective matters, and you deserve to be heard and acknowledged in our spaces. We wish that your time in the plural community is pleasant and worthwhile! Know that we are rooting for you, and feel so honored to be able to share these spaces with you. Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[jackiequick]

Ben Carter ~ Rebel Just For Kicks | Marvel Studios OC

Full Name: Bennett Sawyer Carter

Nicknames: Ben, Benni, Benji, Sawyer, Scout, Ace

Alias: Oliver Halloway, Jackson Harper, Dean Nolan, James Shepherd, Bellamy Wheeler, Jonathan Hunter, Leon Lance etc

——

Date Of Birth: October 16th, 1984

Place Of Birth: New York City

Place Of Residency: Washington, DC

——

Family: AGENT 13, Sharon [CLASSIFIED] — Sister

—————

“I wanted to be teacher but my father didn’t allow it. So now I live in the shadow of my older sister, but I do this job to protect her.”

“Did you really just challenge me to burger eating contest?”

“Yippee ki yay, mother-oops, sorry, there’s children present..”

“Man, I need a break. Who wants pie?”

————————

Personality: 

He is delightful blend of charm and goofiness, often bringing humor to even the most serious situations. His clumsy nature leads to lighthearted moments, endearing him to those around him. 

Beneath his playful exterior lies a fiercely loyal protector; Ben would selflessly throw himself into harm's way to shield his loved ones, demonstrating an unwavering commitment to their safety. 

With a quick wit and a knack for sarcasm, he deftly navigates tense scenarios, using humor to defuse potential conflicts. Friendly and charismatic, he easily connects with others, making him a beloved figure among friends and allies alike.

-------

Background 📖

Growing up in a family where his sister, Sharon (AGENT 13), was clearly the high achiever, Bennett always felt the pressure to live up to his family’s expectations. 

His dream of becoming a teacher was dismissed by his father, who pushed him toward a path of espionage or government work like his sister. While Sharon excelled, Bennett found solace in humor and developing a carefree persona to cope with the pressure.

—

“I don’t want to be like Sharon or you or even aunt Peg, dad! I want to teach and travel, not go around getting myself into trouble.” Ben replied.

“Son, you will be a fine young agent just like me. Being a teacher is too small of a career and you won’t be paid much.” Michael, his father, add in a stern tone. “You’re a Carter, act like it.”

“But I am not fit for that kinda job…”

“You say that now, but you will be.”

“Dad...”

—

While Ben respected his father and admired Sharon’s achievements, he couldn’t help but feel torn. More than anyone in his family, Aunt Peggy Carter had always fascinated him. She was a legend in her own right, a brilliant strategist, co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D., and a woman who had helped shape the modern intelligence world. Yet, despite her immense legacy, Ben wondered if Aunt Peggy might have understood his desire to take a different path.

Sometimes, when the pressure became too much, Ben found himself wondering, What would Aunt Peg say if she were here?

Deep down, he believed she would have told him to follow his own path, to be his own person. Unlike his father, Peggy might have recognized that having goals—big or small—was important. But Ben never had the chance to ask her. And that uncertainty gnawed at him.

Would Peggy have supported his choices? Or would she have dismissed his dreams like his father had?

This question haunted Ben, even as he tried to balance his own desires with his family’s expectations. He longed for a mentor who would understand him, someone who wouldn’t see his dreams as "too small."

Though he eventually followed the path set out for him, Ben’s inner struggle never fully disappeared. He carried the question of Peggy’s approval with him, both as a source of strength and as a reminder of what he had given up.

---

-------

—Relationship with Sharon Carter 🛠️

Growing up, Sharon and Bennett shared a close bond. As the older sibling, Sharon was protective of her little brother, often looking out for him when their father’s strict expectations weighed heavily on him. In their early years, they had a lot of fun together—playing games, pulling pranks, and exploring the streets of New York. Sharon was always the more confident and adventurous one, while Ben was more cautious, happy to follow her lead.

But as they got older, the gap between them began to widen. Sharon embraced the world of espionage with determination, diving headfirst into training and missions. She became the perfect soldier in their father’s eyes, the embodiment of the Carter legacy. 

Ben, on the other hand, grew unsure of himself. He admired Sharon’s strength and skill but resented the fact that her success only made him feel more inadequate. Often feeling torn between his personal dreams and the family legacy.

Despite their differences and the tension that arose from their father’s expectations, Ben and Sharon deeply cared for each other. Sharon was fiercely protective of Ben, even if she didn’t always understand his reluctance to embrace their family’s legacy. Ben, in turn, admired Sharon’s strength and independence, even if he resented the comparisons made between them.

As Ben began to settle into his own role in intelligence work—whether by choice or circumstance—Sharon continued to watch out for him. He didn’t want to live in Sharon’s shadow, but he also didn’t want her to get hurt. Part of his decision to follow the family path came from his desire to protect Sharon—to make sure she never faced the dangers of their work alone.

—

"I do this job for a lot of reasons," Ben once confided in a rare moment of vulnerability. "But mostly? I do it to protect you."

Sharon, uncharacteristically quiet, nodded. "I don’t need protecting, Ben."

"I know," he replied, looking down shaking his head and then looked straight at her. "But I’m still going to try."

——

—-

They weren’t as close as they had been in their childhood, but they had come to respect each other’s choices. 

Sharon continued to work in her career, while Ben had found his own way, even if it wasn’t the life he originally wanted.

————

———————

——

| CARTER — S.H.I.E.L.D. Associate | ⚖️ |

While Bennett initially resisted the idea of following in his family’s footsteps, particularly those of his father and sister, he eventually found a place within S.H.I.E.L.D., albeit on his own terms. He didn’t strive to be a leader or a figurehead, but he knew that protecting those he cared about—and finding his own way to make a difference—was important.

Reluctant Start, Natural Talent

After years of pushing back against his father’s expectations, Bennett’s path eventually led him to S.H.I.E.L.D. He realized that, whether he liked it or not, his family’s legacy wasn’t something he could easily escape. Yet, when he decided to join S.H.I.E.L.D., it wasn’t out of a desire to live up to the Carter name exactly—it was about finding his own purpose. He just wanted to make his mark in a way that felt authentic to him.

Though Ben had always been reluctant to pursue espionage, he discovered he had a natural talent for certain aspects of the job. He wasn’t the best strategist or mastermind like other agents, but he excelled in the physical and tactical elements of the work.

——

"Watch it, Carter. You're like a kid in a candy store," Maria Hill remarked dryly, watching as Ben eagerly examined the array of weaponry laid out in the SHIELD armory.

Ben scoffed, flashing a grin. "Hill, lighten up. It's a wall full of guns, knives, and other weaponry! Look at this," he said, picking up a sleek new handgun and examining it with gleaming eyes. "And ooh, is that a new set of bows and arrows? Bet Clint would love this!"

Hill shook her head, but she couldn’t hide the faint smirk on her face. Ben's enthusiasm, though sometimes overwhelming, was infectious.

——

~ Role within S.H.I.E.L.D. ⚙️

Active S.H.I.E.L.D. Associate: Bennett works as a simple, yet kind field agent, engaging in various missions and tasks for the organization.

Hand-to-Hand Combat: Skilled in close-quarters combat, always eager to improve and test his fighting abilities.

Weaponry Enthusiast: Excited by weapons, particularly guns, rifles, knives, and advanced tech. He enjoys trying out new gear.

Scouting Missions: Loves scouting and reconnaissance missions, especially because they let him travel and explore new places.

Undercover & Surveillance: Although reluctant at first, he secretly enjoys undercover work and surveillance, finding it both challenging and exciting.

——————

———

————————————

—Strengths & Weaknesses 🖥️

Strengths

1. Charisma and Charm

2. Loyalty and Protectiveness

3. Wit and Humor

4. Adaptability

5. Combat Skills

6. Empathy and Understanding

Weakness

1. Self-Doubt

2. Emotional Burden

3. Reluctance to Embrace Leadership

4. Tendency to Avoid Conflict

5. Clumsiness

6. Difficulty Accepting Help

——————————

———

———

Fun Facts & Quirks! 🧲

- Foodie at Heart -> This man loves burgers, pies, ice cream, donuts and etc. Depending on where he is, Ben will find some sort of food to eat.

“Did you seriously go and buy milkshake?” His teammate asked.

He shrugged and pointed, “What? You were takin’ too long. I got hungry.”

- Clumsy Charmer -> He is notoriously clumsy at times, often stumbling on his own feet or bumping into something by accident.

“Who put a damn step there? That wasn’t there before!” He shouted almost tripping over but caught himself quickly.

- Tv & Film Fan -> He is often found quoting a line from his favorites or referencing a form of media. However he doesn’t always like to repeat the same thing, more than twice.

“No more Punzel! If I have to hear Zachary Levi’s voice one more time, I’m done.” He shouts during moving night.

His friend gasps, “How dare you? Flynn Rider is wonderful!”

- Dreamer -> Despite having to cut out being a teacher in his life, he always wondered what he might’ve showned those young minds.

“I could’ve been a History teacher or English..? Not math, I suck at that subject! Hell, I might quit this job and find out..”

- He talks to favorite things -> He will talk to his car, his guns and jacket. You already know if Ben had a pet he will be chatting with that animal too.

He grins seeing his favorite handheld gun and picked it up, “Hello sweetheart, gods, I missed you.”

Other things include: Ben is a music lover, mildly superstitious, enjoys collecting items, fear of heights etc.

————

—————

Additional information | 📬 |

-> Favorite Hero

Bennett will never admit it but he enjoys the heroes he seems on the streets and in his line of world.

You would think because his aunt Peggy association to Captain America, automatically that’s his favorite. He admires and respects Steve Rogers greatly, hell he hopes to have enough goodness in his heart to be like him, but not his favorite.

He actually secretly admires Spider-Man for his wit, willingness to help out, relatability and kindness towards others. He only seen the hero from afar but he can tell why people online like him.

~~~

-> Dating Life

When it comes to dating, Bennett tends to casual date. Nothing serious. He enjoys meeting new people and exploring connections without the pressure of committing or wanting to make they both hit it off well.

He has had serval crushes over the years, nothing notably strong or anything. However he once had a significant crush on a fellow agent, but he never acted on it, fearing it could mess up their professional relationship. He didn’t to push anything.

His flirting style is light-hearted and humorous. He tends to use playful chill banter and finding whatever he can as a simple ice-breaker. His charm is evident in his ability to make others smile, and he often employs self-deprecating humor to put his crushes at ease.

Currently, Bennett is single and he doesn’t mind it actually. Honestly, he thinks no one can compete with his notorious lack of skills and put up with him half the time to his bad jokes. But hey? We might be wrong and there is a certain someone out there for him.

~~~~

~ Hobbies and Interests |🛋️| ~

Cooking: Bennett enjoys experimenting in the kitchen. He loves trying out new recipes, especially when it comes to making burgers and desserts. His friends often joke that he should open a food truck.

- “Who needs a Michelin star when you can make the perfect burger at home?”

Movie Buff & TV Binge-Watcher: Bennett has a soft spot for action flicks, buddy cop movies, and classic comedies. He often spends his free time rewatching old favorites or discovering new series to binge.

Collecting Vintage Memorabilia: Bennett enjoys collecting vintage movie posters, old records, and retro tech. His apartment is littered with relics of the past, from vinyl records to an old-fashioned radio. He particularly loves hunting for rare finds at flea markets and antique shops.

- “You can laugh at my vinyl collection all you want, but there's nothing like listening to the Life Is A Highway on the original record.”

Tinkering with Cars: Bennett inherited a love of cars from his father. He spends weekends tinkering with his car, working on engine repairs, or upgrading parts. He’s not a full-blown gearhead, but he enjoys spending time in his garage fixing up his old, reliable ride.

——

————

-> Fears and Insecurities |🪤| <-

Fear of Failure: Bennett often worries about not living up to his family legacy or his own potential. This fear sometimes holds him back from pursuing more serious relationships or challenges.

- “What if I’m just not cut out for this? What if I let everyone down?”

Insecurity About His Role & Fitting In: Sometimes he can feel like he’s qualified to be an agent, and to overcompensate that with humor.

- “I mean, I’m just a guy who likes burgers and makes a lot of bad jokes… how did I end up here?”

Fear of Not Finding His Own Path: Bennett has always wanted to follow his own dream of being a teacher or traveling, but the weight of family expectations and his current career pulls him in another direction. He’s afraid that he’ll never get the chance to live the life he truly wants, and instead, be stuck in a role he didn’t choose for himself.

- "Maybe it’s too late to figure out what I want. Maybe this is just who I am now…"

Insecurity About His Intelligence: Though he’s smart and capable, Bennett sometimes feels overshadowed by more academically inclined people, like the tech geniuses or strategists he encounters in SHIELD. He’s more street-smart than book-smart, and while he’s skilled, he occasionally doubts whether he’s as sharp as others around him.

- "Sure, I can shoot straight, but can I crack codes and come up with genius plans? Not so much. Maybe I’m just the muscle here."

~~~~~

-> Signature Style

Bennett tends to dress in casual, comfortable clothing—jeans, graphic tees, sweaters, thick jackets and sneakers.

He has a penchant for customizing his gear and equipment, adding personal touches that reflect his personality, such as stickers or playful designs.

~~~~~~

-> Habits

Midnight Snacker: Bennett has a habit of raiding the fridge late at night, often resulting in humorous situations when caught.

- “Don’t judge me, if my stomach is craving a handful of cereal at 1 in the morning.” He mumbled as he eats the mouthful of Honey-Nut Cheerios.

Movie Marathoner: He loves binge-watching movie series and often tries to convince friends to join him, complete with snacks and drinks. Sometimes he is found watching classic footage he got stored away somewhere while sipping a nice cup of coffee. Such as old race car footage.

Non-Stop Talker: Ben has a real habit of making one handed comments, give a witty compliment or over speaking in a conversation, especially when it’s not needed. Sometimes he can’t help it but spit out a few sentences and split out of the room just as quickly. Or if he gets nervous, he might ramble until someone shuts him up.

Short-Term Memory: He will never admit it but Ben has a tendency to forget things easily or get distracted, which results in issues for himself and others. People need to often repeat what they said a few times or Ben has to write it down somewhere to make sure he did it. He wonders if it’s on-set early Alzheimer like his aunt Peggy has but tries not to think about it too much. 

- “Can you repeat that? I only got caught half of what you said…” He replied looking up at you with a soft smile.

Vintage Fashion Enthusiast: One thing he will never admit nor you will ever except is for Ben to find fashion a causal factor in his life. He has a habit of wearing or finding timeless pieces whenever he went. Either a classic leather jacket, wrist watches, a necklace and or thick sweaters for colder temperatures. They’re simple items but a small part of him gets excited to wear them.

~~~~

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~

Hope you like him! I might consider to continue his story soon hehe 😉

Let me know what you think

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @djs8891 @starkleila @aidanxsophxoxo @mandylove1000 @yetanotherwells @rickb-chaos @topgun-imagines @hardballoonlove @buckysteveloki-me @sherloquestea @ximehs @savemewattpad @theonlyblackcanary @terry-perry @triptuckers @daughter-of-melpomene @superspookyjanelle

[momo-t-daye]

"Now, Severus, the sword! Do not forget it must be taken under conditions of need and valor-" the portrait recited, an echo of Albus Dumbledore, a recording unspooling predetermined plans. It wasn't Albus Dumbledore, it was paint and canvas and curated memories and trained habits, it was a simulacrum that could only ever offer false connection and empty comfort.

Minerva thought it was a mockery of remembrance, hanging the portrait of Albus behind the desk Albus had once occupied. She had refused to enter the Headmaster's office a second time as staunchly as she refused to look at Severus with anything but hatred now. It was torture. Every parroted guile and canned expression of concern and impersonation of Albus' intelligence was another knife twist in the knot of grief and guilt that had replaced his heart in the last terrible year.

It was continuing on, another reminder that Severus mustn't let Potter see him, mustn't let Lily's son know of Severus' allegiance lest the child become a liability before he could be a sacrifice.

"I know," Severus said, curt, hoping to skip past the pre-recorded reminders of all the promises he'd given to a dead man.

He didn't need the portrait to press a hand against some invisible wall as though it wanted to reach him, he didn't need it to make that expression of determined concern Albus used to make when Severus had marched off to another terrible meeting with the Dark Lord for the sake of the Order and keeping the boy alive and as safe as they could.

Yet despite the mimicry of care, it wouldn't even tell him why he had to get the sword into Potter's possession; perhaps Albus hadn't trusted his own portrait enough to imbue it with that knowledge even as he had trusted it to continue to haunt Severus.

It was a ridiculous dedication to his little mind games, like that note on the inside of the firewhiskey label, as if Albus had feared that, left to his own devices, Severus might go and haunt himself off Dumbledore's plotted path with grief over his own wasted loyalty and rage at the fate sewn under Harry Potter's skin and memories of his once best friend. As if Severus wasn't an expert at closing his mind and shuttering his heart and ignoring furious wailing of his own ghosts.

The portrait was still talking, another formulaic warning to take caution while accomplishing Albus Dumbledore's plans.

"Don't worry, Dumbledore," Severus said, speaking more to himself, his disappointed devastated selves, than the portrait, "I have a plan..."

For Unofficial Snapetober 2023 prompts "Ghost" and "Remembrance" The idea of haunting ones own self/of seeing the ghost of your past self seemed like it would be suitable for Severus- Sev is different from Severus is different from Snape is different from Professor Snape etc. etc., right? I mostly work with traditional media and do a little bit of digital tidying up to try to get the colors on the screen to look like the colors on paper, but I had a bit of fun figuring out how to put the ghosts of past Snapes (young Sev, Teen Sev, and Professor Snape) haunting Headmaster Snape into the picture. I painted each of the ghosts separately- in dark orange over black inked lines- and then inverted the colors once it was scanned and put those as semi-transparent layers on top of the separate painting of Headmaster!Snape in Dumbledore's office (...I am not very good at drawing backgrounds inside of a building where furniture and walls have too many straight lines, let's just put the characters in the woods with trees and lots of nice wavy wobbly lines...). Also! Have you all read "Stronger than a Butterbeer" (https://archiveofourown.org/works/10786743)? It's such a precise gut-punch of "the absence of Severus" that haunts me so I just had to make a reference to it.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/21/2024

get a load of this cat

listening

one of my favorite bands, Joywave, dropped a new album last week! it is not my favorite album of theirs but so it goes. perhaps it needs more time to grow on me. Sleepytime Fantasy kicks off my favorite section of the album. video game enchanted ice cave dream sequence music.

i must stay true to my own rules for this series (not a rec series, genuinely what i've been into the most this week) and the song that's been on loop all week is a genshin impact character's theme music (punchy wolf-coded ice cop who is the duke of the prison he. runs? administers? don't worry about it). unfortunately a bop. the character music lately has been a lot more modern and experimental than i expected? this one has a police siren drop

-

reading

thank you mackintosh.

i really, really enjoyed Trouble And Her Friends by Melissa Scott (LAMBDA award winner 1995)! @delta-orionis and i frequently ask ourselves "what if neuromancer was good?" and this scratches that itch for me. it is often difficult for me to take neuromancer's protagonist henry seriously, but this book features a pair of extremely practical dykes. it opens on the passing of a new american law criminalizing big swathes of online activity, passed despite a presidential veto. description from amazon

Less than a hundred years from now, the forces of law and order crack down on the world of the computer nets. The hip, noir adventurers who get by on wit, bravado, and drugs, and haunt the virtual worlds of the Shadows of cyberspace, are up against the encroachments of civilization. It's time to adapt or die. India Carless, alias Trouble, got out ahead of the feds and settled down to run a small network for an artist's co-op. Now someone has taken her name and begun to use it for criminal hacking. So Trouble returns. Once the fastest gun on the electronic frontier, she had tried to retire-but has been called out for one last fight. And it's a killer.

this startled me by how fun and competent it is! i tried reading one of the author's books last year (Dreamships) and had a miserable time with the pacing and flow of information. there are echoes of the pacing issues i had with the last book-- this is a nearly four hundred page hardcover, we have a lot of Next Locations to go to, and we are going to take our fucking time getting there. a road trip book, rather than a destination book. Scott has gotten way way better at fleshing out those locations— an artists' co-op has their skylights set to amber to hide the wear and tear on everything in their central hangout space when the feds show up. i also connected with the inciting incident way more-- someone stealing a female hacker’s name and style is instantly relatable. i am riding shotgun with Trouble. i am ready to throw down with her.

it's a very physical book in many ways, bc it has three brief sex scenes, is very concerned with sensuality in both senses of the word, and overall it's like the background in an anime that’s full of dials and buttons and little blinky lights. written in 1994, fascjnating how much concepts of VR and sensory inputs have not changed, but everyone still has the equivalent of an enormous old school desktop and giant CRT monitors set up. everyone is constantly lugging around so much physical tech. the stuff that makes you better at hacking in the net is quick reactions to VR sensations, the only way to get that cutting edge sensation is to get a physical chip or “worm” in your head, and the only people who do that are the core outcasts and freaks of the internet (the gays, the women, the people of color, the all three, presumably the furries as well). from that day to this…

there's an interesting contrast between Trouble and her old partner Cerise stalking the virtual reality bazaars/being queens of the BBS undergrounds, and the danger they feel and face when moving about in the real world. some reviewers are very cranky about how negotiations on and offline feel the same but i did not feel this particular quibble. communication is communication. it is known both on and offline that they're 1) women and 2) lesbians. they're in less physical danger online but slurs can still happen no matter where they are. also, i am well used to the necessity of having to posture and peacock and be kind of a bitch to establish myself in order to get anything done in coding/hardware scenes, which is something i don't think any of the male reviewers of the day ever had to think about.

some cowboy shit goes down at the end that had me hooting and hollering, and Scott handled the hacking scenes in an interesting way-- a sort of abstracted duel? terrific "fight" scenes. very interesting at how she will move things around in order to treat scenes in ways she's good at-- like establishing very grounded locations that feel real, physical sensations, and fight scenes-- instead of just kind of slogging through a very surface level high-overview travelogue like in her last book. ive been stuck on a fic chapter for like four years and this is making me think about doing it the fun way instead of the way i thought it should be done. this may be obvious but i am an amateur and more importantly an idiot.

this was a $6/1 book special last year at one of my favorite thrift stores, a religious shop with the absolute worst vibes in the greater houston area but some of the best stuff

-

watching

Five Dolls For An August Moon (1970, dir. Brava). sometimes you see a cool title on kanopy and you don't have a better way to kill an hour and a half. plus it had some guys i know from cowboys. tw for a suicide's body in the first fucking ten seconds of the trailer, which is a weird trailer choice bc u don't actually see most of the murders in the movie.

ive watched a fuck of a lot of spaghetti westerns so i feel i am somewhat qualified to tell you this is one of the worst dubs ive ever seen. the lines actors are quarter-heartedly delivering do not always make a lot of sense and only occasionally match the subtitles. i am assuming this is the original dub, bc kino lorber generally does a pretty okay job restoring things?

this is not a good movie (extremely troubled production, director swap three days before filming, made on a shoestring budget, the actors mostly wore their own clothes, etc). it is not very good at maintaining tension, because it is a film that first and foremost Looks. beautiful fucking sets, beautifully decorated. the exterior is a matte painting, a sort of frothy dream-bubble of sixties architecture. most of the interiors are apparently a real house. incredible experimental burbling soundtrack full of Weird Sounds.

sorry about the tubi interface and our old friend the activate windows logo.

there are so many fun directorial flourishes and staging, but it does get a little wrapped up in itself. this made me think of The Secret of NIMH, a beautifully animated talking-animal film that gave me nightmares as a child, where the animation tricks and sparkles and moving parts sort of all get in each other's way to produce something less than the sum of its parts. this sort of happens here. i'm going to yoink this from a review:

Bava’s eye for exquisite compositions is equally evident. One scene in particular stands out in this regard: The filmmaker shoots an otherwise humdrum fistfight through wooden latticework that breaks the action up into an abstracted mosaic effect. The fight culminates with a table being upended, which in turn unleashes a myriad crystal spheres. The camera follows along as the spheres tumble and cascade down a spiral staircase and roll across a tiled floor before plopping like so many bath bubbles into a tub. The scene concludes with the revelation of a recently deceased character caught in what you’d have to call a tableau morte. It’s a dazzlingly orchestrated sequence, easily on par with more famous Bava set pieces.

it's gorgeous! there's also So Much going on. another lovely bit of business: as each person dies they get wrapped in plastic sheeting and put in the walkin freezer. next to slabs of beef. not a subtle film, and i don't mean it as a diss, bc where's the fuckin fun in that?

-

playing

i have not been doing much of anything here except listen to podcasts and work toward the two-thousand-fish-caught achievement in genshin. impatiently waiting for Clorinde to be released in several weeks. that one button needs a raise. it is So funny to see genshin characters with fucking guns. very sword and pike based societies so far

-

making

every time i have tried to make one of these samplers for Me it's gone horribly wrong or been somehow destroyed so i'm making this one for my brother's upcoming birthday, bc he will have off-campus housing next academic year, in an attempt to peacefully do some fucking cross stitch and get something out at the end of it. pattern here on etsy

[chibishortdeath]

Free will strikes again, these were some really fun doodles :3. I think Simon is allowed to be a little visual kei sometimes. Idk I just know he’d vibe with it. Explanations under a cut—

And also a couple unfinished doodles that were just intended to be rough pose/anatomy practice sketches, but ended up accidentally more detailed than intended 💀💀💀. It’s nothing graphic, but ⚠️slight artistic nudity warning⚠️ anyway in case d(>_< ).

Hehehe, this is based off of a photo from Malice Mizer live, it’s Simon in place of Mana and Fuma in place of Gackt. Very fun pose to draw!!! Especially cause it’s a pose with a whip and also cause idk why but I find poses with one or both arms up pretty easy to draw. And yeah yay, Fuma inclusion yippie :3!

I don’t have any other explanation for why this exists other than dresses are cool. So I made him one :D. The coord has a half caplet that connects to a shoulder paldron on the other shoulder by chain with a little cross. Under that there’s a blouse and skirt combo with patterns similar to his SQ armor and some rose thorn patterns around the ends of the sleeves and collar. Over that is a corset and under is a cage crinoline made to look like crosses peaking around the edge. Shoes carry outfit motifs like the roses on the bow tie and headdress and the lace throughout. Also, an eyepatch with cross on it because yeah, cute :3. I’d probably wear this if I had uh any skill in sewing at all (TwT ).

A not chibi version of the above outfit! Except probably without the crinoline with how the skirt fabric is sitting lol. Tbh I think Simon would probably be fine with this for a little bit and then get uncomfortable about having so many layers on. I don’t think he’d like tights at all 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀. Hmmm I’ll have to draw a version of it that’d be more comfortable for him hmm maybe tomorrow.

Another Simon holding Dracula’s heart artwork. Shout out to how this guy just carries this thing around for so long lol.

Simon facing off against his worst enemy: stairs! This one was practice drawing characters in backgrounds, since I’m so rusty at actually drawing those two things together (ToT ). I can draw a separate background fine, but the second I have to put someone in it I just completely forget what I’m doing XD.

This one is also a practice! He’s running up to the altar in Drac’s basement. The lighting was fun for this one, but I forgot to draw the whip in his hand 💀.

This one was an attempt at drawing a skeleton and keeping the same proportions in a drawing of someone (Simon) who is uh not a skeleton. Fun fact! It took me like 5 tries to get the skeleton to not just look like Papyrus Undertale cause holy heck do the skeletons from that game take a hold of some part of your art style and never let go 💀💀💀💀

CASTLEVANIA JUDGEMENT HAS HATS??? AS LIKE AN UNLOCKABLE?????????? So obviously I had to draw Simon (x2) with the bow options. Pink probs looks really nice with his hair tbh. And the striped bow was black and white so it fits with the Judgement design’s outfit. If I ever actually play this game again (I suck so bad at it), I’ll be trying to get these for the very important reason of Simon cute. :3

—

Ok now these two. The first one was a different attempt at that Mana pose, but a bigger scale and a bit less exaggerated. I ended up having to do a ton of edits to it cause I kept making things too big or too small lol. And the second one is just a couple dynamic posing practices. They’re also excuses to draw more arm up poses cause they’re fun X3. He was just supposed to have like a generic placeholder rectangle er um uh there, but some of the sketchy lines ended up looking like what’s supposed to be in that spot, so I just didn’t wanna risk these being on main tags out in the open 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀. Though, tbh, I’ve seen more explicit things on the tags so eh, better safe than sorry tho (- w - )

[nicohverse]

Entropic Float 2 Demo and Kickstarter Launch!

Picture a point-and-click adventure game. Now picture a branching, time-looping ontological mystery visual novel. Entropic Float 2 combines those into its gameplay concept: A point-and-click where you can never solve every puzzle at once. Where you have one key that fits two locks... And the only way to see what's behind the lock you didn't choose is to die, repeat the day, and try something different this time. With only you and your protagonist aware of the loop, seek an answer that earns new information. Through trial and error, solutions and murder... Can you find the way through this new Anomaly?

In early 2021, I started working on a project just for fun. Using the character creator and scene assembly tools of Illusion's Koikatsu, paired with the visual novel engine ren'py, I decided to learn to make a VN. A year and a half, over three hundred thousand words, and quite a bit of pocket money later, I released 'Entropic Float: This World Will Decay And Disappear' for free on steam and itch.io. 

Something that was never meant to be more than a fun exploration of a concept grew into a huge endeavor for me, a visual novel as long as any two Umineko episodes combined! I got guest artists, made plenty of art myself, and learned a lot more about coding in ren'py than I ever thought I would. After releasing the game, my friends were proud of me, and I've heard from a lot of people it connected with. It became the basis of what I want to keep doing creatively- Expanding on this world, telling its story, and finding those people it will resonate with.

That brings us to Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch. A sequel I've been planning since the first game released a little over a year ago now. It's a game that can't be free (though if you, for any reason, cannot purchase it- I care more about sharing it than I do about making money) and a game I want to create to that standard. There won't be assets made in a character creator or royalty free music this time. I hope to bring the Pine Creek Anomaly to the screen with my own two hands, and a little bit of help from freelancers. I want to make a point-and-click adventure worth paying fifteen dollars for, an artistic experience that constitutes a huge step up from the first game.

A demo is available to download and play from itch.io! Features already reflected in the demo include:

The general structure of the point-and-click gameplay; including travel between maps, item collection and use, and conversations with other characters.

Hand-drawn backgrounds (with minor animations) and talksprites.

Profile screens for each character and a memory-seeking system improved from the first game. Also improved from the first game is exposition being mainly in a linear-locked part of the story so it doesn't need to be repeated in different places so different players don't get confused!

Planned features yet to be implemented include:

Loop Randomization- The demo includes only the very first loop of the story, but in the actual timelooping gameplay, many factors will be randomized between loops. Characters and items will appear and disappear, characters will have different trustworthiness scores, and eventually, the weather will even change and impact puzzles and character behaviors.

Zones- Minigame areas that abstractly inform you more about a character and are locked behind obtaining certain profile notes and memories. The rewards for completing zones will be tools to access additional areas, such as Area 2 waiting beyond the broken bridge.

Characters- Several of EF2's characters don't appear yet in the demo, due to having their introductions tied to maps that aren't accessible in Area 1.

General Improvements- Characters currently only have one talksprite. The preferences page is still in the ren'py default configuration. Some music tracks recycled from the first game aren't the best fit for the situation. These are all things that relate to the current version being a demo. These are all things that will improve sooner if this kickstarter is a success.

Shortly after handling the Anomalous Clocktower in the Black Rock Desert, Kanatsune Ame was promoted. Now, as an agent of the Wish Task Force at a rank equipped to handle more complex Anomalies, he's received an assignment for another one above his pay grade. Pine Creek, an entire town that was wiped from the map and from all memory several years ago, only to suddenly begin dragging new victims inside within the last few months... Somebody inside this forgotten piece of miserable Americana decided to call out to the world that left it behind, and it's up to you to find out who that could be.

Thank you, as always, for reading!

[generalsdiary]

legato*

Aventurine x Dr. Ratio

warnings: none

word count: 1.1k~

a/n: this literally played out in my head today and i had to write it down, aventio brainrot is so real, *legato is a term used for playing smoothly and slowly, not beta read, aventurine will come home

description: IPC throws a boring official party, Aventurine feels tired of it all and wants to leave, Ratio makes it happen, they share a moment afterward (more like they share multiple moments during all of it but whatever)

the genius society and the IPC had organized an event, a fundraiser so to speak, although the details are of little matter at this moment. due to their background they both had to attend, Veritas in a dark blue satin suit and Aventurine in a soft velvet one with many different colors such as cyan and splashes of yellow and light gray. one simple, the other full of flair, like a peacock spreading its feathers to woo its potential mate to be.

under a ruse of their conversation being related to a shared task given by their superiors, they chat alone at a tall table with high chairs near the exit. they talk in short sentences, and even shorter glances. Aventurine has his typical smile on his face, shining like the brightest star in the universe. those stars shine the brightest because they are burning, actively burning up... except only Veritas sees how plastic the smile is at that moment, he reads his body language; which shows small signs of tiredness and annoyance of others around them. Aventurine would usually love to form connections or refresh older ones. tonight… he simply, it seems, isn’t up for it in a sense.

the doctor dislikes unnecessary attention yet now, he decides to give him, give them both a quick getaway. being meticulous and intelligent as he is, he knows of a perfect way to leave this dreadful place filled with fake smiles, forced small talk, and ass-kissing.

without sharing this plan, he walks over to the glossy black piano. the instrument sits coldly, untouched for so long, cleaned without a speck of dust and ignored by the party, merely there as a decoration and not as a vessel of emotion and old magic unspoken by anyone there anymore. in calm, large steps Ratio stands beside the piano, unbuttoning a button on his suit jacket, and sits down on the red plush chair. he adjusts his posture, a public performance will surely invite attention and create conversations perfect for them to slip out. Aventurine quietly observed him, wondering what the doctor was doing.

a simple melody, gentle, quiet at first fills the room which, somewhat, quiets down. gazes shift to Veritas as his fingers in a calculating manner glide over the piano keys creating a rather romantic melody to the trained ear. Veritas is very well aware that pianists are typically known to stare at a random dot when they play and he grabs that information tightly because his eyes from the first note moved and stayed on Aventurine’s. his head cocked to the side, shaking slightly due to his lower arms moving as he keeps his eyes on the blond man. Veritas’ fingers move against the keys coldly, much like the keys are cool against his fingertips, yet he gently presses them, a silent letter to his… colleague.

Aventurine leaned on a wall beside him, the tall glass in his hand with a dark liquid swirling around as he smiled genuinely. almost like any romantic lead in a rom-com movie when the love interest holds their gaze as they publicly but secretly confess their love. Aventurine’s eyes fall down to his glass, still smiling he takes a small sip, which invites Veritas to shift his gaze lower. oh, they both know how to press each other’s buttons in just the right way, it wouldn’t be fun without the occasional mind game now, would it?

as the melody comes to a close, Ratio closes the lid on the piano keys, the sound of people clapping fills his ears and he disregards them completely, being much less obvious about where he is looking. the tall man walks over to their shared table, their fingers interlocking like fluttering feathers falling to the ground, hidden from most gazes. he leads Aventurine outside of the room, leaving the party fully. questions of how does he play so well, where did he learn, and oh I want to talk to that doctor now, who knew he was so talented in other matters as well fill the now forgotten silence and as their attention shifts to the wishes of talking to the man in the midnight suit, they slip out.

the fresh air hits their skin in a blissful, soothing manner. their hands separate.

“now doctor, that was quite a performance~” the shorter man says with a familiar tone in his voice.

with a nod the taller one answers, “I couldn’t help but notice your distress, it was nothing more than a way to help…” a few more words linger on his tongue, help you, dear gambler.

a chuckle escapes Aventurine, “and you staring at me like a fool in love was also a way to help, hm?” his words teasing the older man who scoffs, he quickly cuts himself off to take a small step forward and quietly whispers, “…thank you.” his eyes close to gather a moment of peace.

“of course.” Veritas’ hand finds Aventurine’s again, lingering around his fingers. furthermore, his hand moves to cup his cheek, his thumb caressing it as he lovingly stares at Aventurine’s face.

Aventurine’s eyes open for a couple of moments before he moves even closer, “could you look any more love-struck, you are being painfully obvious”, he whispers before his lips meet Veritas’.

too scandalous for their own good, the way they move slightly closer to each other and slowly kiss, like lovers who have no rush with one another, like time isn’t always running out for humans. savoring the taste, the warmth, the feeling, like it will fly away on a butterfly’s wings, or disappear like the smoke when the candle burns out. in the slow pace, there is a honey-like taste, a caramel note neither of them wants to let go, it makes them want more. like they are each other’s light and each other’s firefly, dancing like a couple of fireflies around one another. the younger one who fell first, and the older one who fell harder. a hint of desperation in the kiss, it is out of pure need to spend time with the other. to not let go. but the sugary sweetness of the kiss can only stay like that if one makes a break. if their lips separate to exchange a long glance in silence before they meet once again- where the caramel hue covers their lips and fills their chest once more.

[ostrichmonkey-games]

Everything I see from Dark Confluence looks sick, and you should use this as an excuse to talk more about it

I don't think I've actually talked a ton about what Dark Confluence is going to be like as a completed game, so I'll take this as an excuse to do so lmao.

So, I like the souls-borne "series" a ton. But my favorite part of all the games is the world that you're let loose in and get to explore. Piecing together the story through bits and pieces, hidden clues, secrets, implication and interpretation. The goal of Dark Confluence is to do that together at the table.

To that end, Dark Confluence is all about the setting and unfolding story you all put together. It is as much a game as it is a chopped up setting book that never tells you exactly what's going on - because that's the fun! Making it all up! Crafting your own unique crumbling, melancholy universe and then rooting around in it to see what you can make sense of.

Character mechanics draw a lot from my other game Extracausal, so its a lot of tag/trait based stuff, but there's also DNA from games like Wanderhome in there, with how the Realms ("levels") and Lords of the Tower ("bosses") work. I want the game to give the table a bunch of tools for getting into weird and complicated situations, and then stringing it all together into something uniquely cohesive.

Most of the mechanics are mostly done and written at this point, all that's left is just all the other writing lmao. There's 36 character backgrounds (each with their own set of 3 unique items), 12 Realms, 12 Lords, 18 Magical Spells, 18 Artifacts, 18 Major NPCs, 36 Creatures and Wretches (and more!), all of which have embedded within them little "lore sparks" for the table to play around with. Nothing is "canon", but there's a lot of moving parts - building blocks - for the table to play around with.

You're all gonna be wandering around your unique version of the Infinite Tower (the dark confluence of the multiverse), confronting the Lords of the Tower as you shape the universe to come. Along the way, you'll meet weird and interesting NPCs, horrible and dangerous Wretches, and uncover and create your own deep lore and secrets.

As a reward for everyone reading through all this text, here's a new Artifact

Ossifrage Great Bow; tags - ravenous, violent A great bow shaped from many fragments of bones. It glistens in the light, bleeding like an open wound. Effect: The wielder never runs out of arrows, as the bow fires massive, barbed, missiles grown and harvested from the skeleton of the wielder themself. Burden: The wielder’s sternum must be kept pried open, beating heart exposed. Augments The bow can launch a flurry of smaller arrows that darken the sky The bow can steal the bones of another whom it has injured The projectiles fired from the bow leave a burning stream of blood in their wake

And! A new Spell!

Fragmentation Effect: Unleash your manifold soul, allowing the hungry, grasping hands of Fate within you to reach out and unravel whatever they touch. Requirement: Consume an entire age’s worth of Fragments, becoming infinite, fractal, and glorious. Ember Moves Like tangled strands of a knot, all Fragments are secretly connected. All Fragments must take a Curse. The howl of the dying cosmos echoes louder, consuming the dreams of those within the Realm, replacing them with something else. One of your many soul-pieces sloughs off, becoming a Fragment all its own, one with the Fate of bringing about your final Dissolution. They say that souls are the building blocks of the cosmos, and the gods merely stonemasons. From where then, do souls come from?

It's gonna be done eventually. I might be on the lookout for playtesters once I have the text done. So, keep an eye out for that maybe?

[missskzbiased]

Game of Hearts

Summary: You would never have imagined this but playing an Otome Game becomes a path-changing way to live your life. Every choice you make dictates the way your real life will develop, and who you'll end up with. There is only one problem: Can you navigate this 'Game of Hearts' successfully?

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

WC: ~4,2 K

Genre: Romance, Drama, Blurb, Friends to Lovers (?), Confession, Game

Warnings: Language, 1st person

Notes: I had fun playing with this idea. This fic was inspired by "Back to 15" and my longing to build something that'd give a sensation of choice/participation for the readers. But for now, this is just a blurb.

Every single decision you make counts.

It could be something as stupid as having a vanilla ice cream today instead of a crepe, or something more meaningful as helping someone in need instead of turning your back away. It's terrifying, yet fulfilling. When you pile enough of those decisions, it becomes a part of you, a defining trait. Looking back, you may wonder: Wow, did I really do that? And in that moment, you could find yourself either smiling or shedding tears as you contemplate your past.

It's amazing, really, how much power we hold in our hands.

And frightening.

Not the kind of fear you experience when there's a loud thud outside your door, and you convince yourself that it was probably the cat or the wind. No, it's the fear that creeps in when you trail an unfamiliar path, risking a wrong way to a place you have never been before. It's that feeling you have when you can't help but wonder if you made the right choice. It's those haunting thoughts that make you question why you're taking so long to get there. It's the way your heartbeats fly through the window by the possibility of being left behind, all by yourself, as people move on, as they drift away.

The fear of moving forward or walking back.

Paralyzing, yet thriving.

"So? What's taking you so long?" Hyunjin uncrosses his arms, leaning back on his hands and inadvertently shifting my bed. Naturally, my body follows suit, sinking into the hollow he made.

Our shoulders bump.

It's nothing new, a familiar occurrence among friends. I've bumped shoulders with him a hundred times before. But it's different. Now, I feel every inch of my bare skin in contact with his, and inch by inch our arms connect. Suddenly, I miss the winter uniform and its sleeves going all the way down to my elbows, shielding me from the sizzling heat ignited by our skin-to-skin contact. A heat that spreads from my arms to my neck and face. A heat that swelters me. It is hot in here, isn't it?

The concept of a summer uniform seems pointless right now.

  "Want me to take the lead?" Hyunjin's fingers brush against mine, breaking my reverie. My eyes snap to his fingers, to his face, to his eyes; searching for any traces of change in his behavior.

Instead, I find that mischievous, familiar sparkle in his eyes.

I quickly avert my gaze back to the screen, making a point not to lock eyes with him for more than two seconds.

Turns out he only needed one and a half to dazzle me.

Before me, three options gleam with white letters on a blurry scenario, backed by a soothing piano tune in the background. I hover my selection between the first two. The letters glow brighter as I shift through each one: Bad Boy and then Nerd. Carefully, I read the third one: Childhood Friend.

Hyunjin's face flashes back to my thoughts.

I catch myself gauging the glimmer of every little star sprinkling his eyes. I try not to notice how adorable he looks as his eye bags turn puffier than ever, his playfulness shining through them. He was just making fun of me, teasing me as he always does.

Classic Jinnie.

"You're not taking me seriously" Deflect your thoughts, I scold myself, "This isn't the time for games, Hyunjin" His gaze scans my face, as if he suddenly realizes I'm not just jesting.

"Hyunjin" He mutters under his breath, not low enough for my ears to miss. It's amusing how worked up he gets at something so silly, but I can't afford to be diverted by his antics, not with so much at stake, "I mean, it's a little hard to take you seriously when you're fooling around so much!" He snatches the joystick from my hand and toggles between the options. "How could this game change your life?" He scoffs, hovering over 'Childhood Friend'.

"Give it back!" I slap him, snatching the joystick back.

His intense gaze burns into my face.

"What?" I grumble, shifting my attention to the options, as I toggle between them, trying to distract myself from the way he's scrutinizing me, "What?" I repeat impatiently, still avoiding his gaze.

"You're... Snappy" He remarks, leaning forward in an attempt to catch my eyes. I flick my glance towards him and then back to the screen, then back to him, and then... "Do you..." He clears his throat, adjusts his collar, and swallows dryly, "Have a crush on me or something?" He fidgets, and I have enough.

"Really?" This time, I feel obliged to look at him. My expression morphs into an exasperated grimace, and Hyunjin seems to ease back in his seat.

"Well, I don't know!" He raises his hands, trying to defend himself, "You invite me into your room and get all flustered, silent, snappy, and weird! What do you want me to think?!"

"I'm not flustered!" My protest falls on deaf ears.

"You literally avoided my gaze for like five minutes, and there are just the two of us in this room" He gestures exageratedly around my bedroom to make his point, "And I'm sorry if I sound conceited right now, but I think I'm much more interesting than anything in here for you to avoid me this much. So, yeah! Excuse me if I thought you were about to confess or something"

"Hyunjin, get your head out of your ass for a second," I plead so genuinely that it draws a snort out of him, "I'm not confessing, stop freaking out"

"I'm not freaking out, and stop calling me Hyunjin!" He protests, and I sigh heavily.

"Ok, Jinnie" I roll my eyes but I notice his features brightening up, "Will you listen to me now?" I look into his eyes, and our gazes lock together as in a determined handshake. 

We seal an unspoken deal. His expression shifts into something more sober, conveying his trust despite how insane I sound. His hand gently rests on top of my thigh, offering reassurance, and then he nods encouragingly.

"I'm listening" It's a promise.

"Somehow..." I'm at a loss for words. How could I even begin to describe whatever the fuck was happening in my life right now? "I mean... I think... Somehow..." He waits patiently, still locked in my gaze, "Could you look away for a sec?" I clear my throat, breaking eye contact as I try to gather my thoughts, "What I mean is..."

"Are you sure this isn't a confession?" He jokes lighthearted, trying to ease my mood.

"Hyunjin" I summon the courage to meet his eyes again. He seems bothered by the way I say his name, his fingers subtly gripping my thigh. His eyes darken, and he shakes his head slightly, as if to dispel a shiver, "Jinnie" I correct myself, but he doesn't seek my eyes again, and the warmth of his touch recedes, "I'm scared" I confess, nervously nibbling on my lower lip.

He doesn't say a word.

Of course, he doesn't. What could he possibly say? He has no idea what I'm trying to say, and I don't know how to make him understand me. Or believe me.

"Y/N" He coaxes, leaning forward to examine my face, "Trust me"

"I do, it's just..." I clear my throat again, inhaling deeply until it starts to hurt too much to keep breathing in. Then, I let it all out in a heavy sigh before studying his face, "You wouldn't believe me. Heck, I wouldn't believe me" I admit, praying for God that I could at least say something that made sense at this point, "I think... I know that this game has the power to change my future" I say in one breath, hoping it could fix any misunderstandings.

Silence.

Hyunjin stares blankly at me, almost as if he's in a daze. He fixes himself on his seat, shifting his gaze to the screen, completely absent-minded. I can't decipher his expression. Is he questioning my sanity, debating whether to call an ambulance or simply taking everything in? When he finally returns his gaze to me, I still have no idea about what is going on in his mind.

He opens his mouth and then closes it.

He does it again.

Then again.

"I know it's hard to believ—" He raises his finger to cut me off.

"Let me just check something" He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, and then opening them to focus on me, "Are you on drugs?" I start to protest, making a strangled, high-pitched noise in my throat. Hyunjin gestures for me to stop, "Okay, right. Just had to make sure"

"Look" I groan, taken by the anger of not being able to convey my point, "I don't know how to explain it, okay? My life is somehow connected to this Otome Game. Each time I choose one option, someone in real life falls for me" I pause, allowing him some time to process this information.

"Y/N..." Hyunjin ponders his words carefully. His expression shifts through a range of emotions as he searches for something tactful to say. It's crystal clear that he is struggling with that, and about half a minute later, he finally gives up, "This is just insane" He declares, his eyes widening to emphasize his disbelief, as if attempting to shake me out of a reverie.

"Hyunjin" I take his hand on mine, diving into his eyes to show him my unwavering conviction, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I tried to deal with it by myself, but right now, I need a friend. I need you, okay?"

"Y/N, you'll always have a friend in me, but I can't pretend I believe in this shit. This is just crazy, you know that, right?" He squeezes my hands into his, returning my look earnestly, "There's no way a game can change the reality"

"I know that" I nod, and he seems relieved for a second, "But it's happening, Hyunjin. I'm not insane, I can assure you of that much"

"I'll probably regret this, but..." He takes a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh, "What makes you so sure?"

"Before, when I played it, I went for the Bad Boy" I start my explanation, which seems to already bore him. I hope he's patient enough to hear me out, "And Minho hit on me. You know he doesn't even look my way at school!" Hyunjin doesn't react to it. I click my tongue but continue, "Then, I went for Nerd and Chan came to talk to me in the library. He was super nice and giggly! I swear to God he had the heart eyes" Once again, Hyunjin isn't impressed, "And then I went for Childhood Friend..." I glance at him shyly but he doesn't let me finish.

"So, let me throw a new perspective in here" He puckers his lips, then sucks them in, pursing them as he hums sarcastically, "Did it ever cross your mind that they might have a crush on you, and it was all just a coincidence?" He arches his eyebrows meaningfully, suggesting that he has just figured everything out. I roll my eyes.

"Alright, this isn't working" I fix my eyes on the ceiling, trying to gather all my thoughts and not just punch him and send him to hell. I pop my lips, clenching my jaw before looking at him before pleading, "Do you trust me?" He frowns but nods anyway, "Then, let me show you, cuz words alone can't and won't convince you"

"Go on" He shrugs his shoulders, "Show me" His disdain boils my blood, but I don't let it show on my face. At least, I hope not.

I hesitated for a moment, then selected 'Childhood Friend'.

The screen transitioned to a new scenario. The boy on screen looked nothing like Hyunjin, not a single strand of his hair, but his teasing smile and soft eyes were uncannily similar. Still, this wasn't convincing enough. Hyunjin slowly looked at me, grinning at me with oozing confidence, as if challenging me: "See? Nothing changed" His silence spoke volumes.

I keep my eyes on the game, contemplating the scene. It's a bedroom, different from mine, yet the characters were in the same position as us, sitting side by side in dreadful silence.

I've noticed you're getting closer to Reno. He says, casting a glance at the main female character. Is there something going on between you?

Hyunjin's eyebrow twitched, and he shot me a questioningly, curious, and troubled look: "Were you going for Minho before?" He scoffs, but his attempt at humor falls flat. I duck my head between my shoulders, shrugging unsurely. 

"Yeah?" I admit reluctantly, avoiding eye contact. It's embarrassing to seek the most obvious choice: The bad boy with a good heart.

"Oh" He delivers quietly, "I see"

Despite the tension in the air, this isn't enough to prove my point, to make him believe in me. So I selected the option that would further test the game's impact on Hyunjin. No. Hyunjin fixes his posture but doesn't say or show anything else.

Oh! I see. Ironical, isn't it? I look at him with a smug face. So... You're just friends, right?

Hyunjin holds his breath, his eyes trained on the screen. There were three options for me to choose but one of them seemed to pop to him. He didn't say anything, but I could feel him restless by my side. The turmoil set inside his mind was evident. Something in the situation fascinates him and has his thoughts wandering.

Not as good friends as us! I scrutinize the option, knowing that this wouldn't set the romantic tone. It was a good thing to save both of us from further problems but it wasn't convincing enough.

Skip.

I... I might have a crush on him. The heartbreaking option. The tone would make me lose some affection points. Not the answer I wanted to give nor the one Hyunjin wanted to receive.

Skip.

Of course... I... I like someone else. The right answer. The one that would set the tone for something more vulnerable and heartwarming. The uncertainty would prompt him to seek answers, to unravel the truth. Who did my character like then?

Hyunjin digs his fingers into the mattress.

I go back to option number two.

Lock.

I couldn't risk losing his friendship and complicating things any further in real life. This should be enough to make him understand, right? It was already obvious that he was yearning for something more, for something that he wouldn't seek if it wasn't the game. It stirred something within him. Was it enough, though?

Unexpectedly, Hyunjin stands up.

"Jeez!" I bring my hand to my heart, startled.

"I have to go" He blurts, making his way to my door.

"Wait!" I reach for him, grabbing his wrist, "What happened?!"

"I don't wanna talk about it" He replied, not looking me in the eyes.

"Jinnie, what happened?" I ask softly, and he softens up with my tone.

"I don't wanna be alone with you right now" He turns back, diving directly into my eyes. I have never seen his gaze so... Disturbed. There was a storm inside his eyes, "I can't afford to be alone with you right now" He corrected himself.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by his reaction. This shouldn't go this way, I dismissed his character, diverted from any romantic engagement. It shouldn't develop any more feelings.

"This is some weird shit" He laughs humorlessly, as if trying to escape from his tension, "But I believe you"

"It's fine" I reassure him, taking a step closer. My hand finds its way to his cheeks, and I can see the muscles on his neck pulling, determined not to allow him to indulge in my touch, "I won't ever choose you again" It's a promise to protect our friendship, but it doesn't set too well on him.

"That's not what..." He gulps down, taking my hand away from his face, "I don't want you to choose anyone else"

It's a confession, isn't it? Plain and clear, echoing in my room.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I..." I panic. My heart pounds inside my chest, reverberating all the way up to my throat, making my voice tremble, "It's just the game. Don't take it too seriously; it'll go away as I play—"

"It won't" His voice is unwavering, unlike mine. The turmoil in his eyes settles down; the calm after the storm. "My feelings for you... It wasn't the game. They were already there" He admits earnestly, with no armor to protect his feelings.

"No, no" It's my turn to laugh nervously, "You don't know what you're talking about. The game is playing tricks on you"

"Y/N," He says very seriously, holding both of my hands and bringing me closer, as if to convey the sincerity in his words, "I've always had feelings for you" Another confession. This doesn't make sense. That wasn't the path the game should be taking us, "I've never had the guts to face them, so I shoved them aside, pretending every single one of those feelings was nothing but a manifestation of friendship" Hyunjin's hands were slippery, or maybe that's me. Either way, I slip away from his grip.

"I don't believe you" I mutter under my breath, not strong enough to say anything above a whisper.

"Do you trust me?" He pleads the way I did before.

How can I say no to this?

"I do" The truth slips from my lips, falling with a thud between us.

"Then, let me show you" Another low blow. He knows how to sweep me off my feet.

With Hyunjin's words hanging in the air, the room seems to grow smaller, and the gap between our bodies diminishes until it fades away. On the other hand, my senses seem to expand, and every little thing becomes overwhelming. The way my emotions whirlwind, but refrain from unleashing, gusting inside my ribcage and shrinking my heart, which fights for its life, racing in a way it never did. The tick-tack of a clock in the back of her mind, or the back of my room, I can't tell. It counts the second to something that might tear my world apart. The way Hyunjin stands his ground, his expression sincere and vulnerable, his look lovingly enough to melt all of my worries away.

At some level, I realize I don't want it to be some game side effects.

"Hyunjin" My whisper breaks the silence like a screech. Both of us snap back to reality, and neither of us can face one another in this scenario, so I face the floor.

"Holy shit" He digs his fingers in my shoulders, and I can feel the way a shiver runs down his spine, making his body tremble, "When you call me by my name..." He takes a deep breath and lets it catch in his throat instead of finishing his sentence.

"Jinnie" I offer instead, and his hand finds its way to the back of my head. I shriek.

"Stop playing it, pause the game" He pleads, "It'll prove that my feelings have nothing to do with your choices" He places a kiss on my forehead.

"I've already tried" I admit, fighting my urge to be venturous, to explore everything unveiled before my eyes, to indulge in the practicality of letting him love me, to leave my problems behind, "But my life resets to the moment I played it for the first time. I'm trapped in a loop" There is a pain in my voice that he can't understand, but he can feel, so he hugs me thighter.

"So just choose me" It's a simple request, isn't it?

"Hyunjin..." I find the courage to look him in the eyes, and suddenly, I feel compelled to say: "I don't know if I love you that way. I can't simply put you through this. I'll keep choosing you and then what? We'll be married with two kids? When does it end? Do we want to end up together like this?" I feel like the words are gushing out my mouth, splattering like my feelings, but they're not. My speech is calm and composed, and it's so sober that Hyunjin steps back.

"I do" He admits, averting his eyes from mine. He knows that my answer wouldn't be the same as his, "But you have someone else in mind, don't you?" His tone isn't accusative, but the insinuation itself is.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by his antics. His arms slowly untangle from around me.

"You might have a crush on someone else, isn't that right?" His tone is bitter, catching me off guard. When I see his eyes fixed on the screen, everything comes together.

"Minho?!" I'm baffled. So much that I can't further elaborate on that, "I was choosing him just because! There's no deeper meaning in that"

"Yet, he's the first one you mention" He finally turns his gaze back to me, and I can see the hurt staining his eyes.

"Hyunjin, that's not..." But he doesn't let me finish.

"You know what?" He fakes a smile, shrugging as if the situation didn't matter after all, "You might be right. This all was just the game talking" He chuckles, gesturing for me to let it go, "I don't know where my mind was" his smile widens but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Hyunjin turns away, ready to leave my room.

"Wait, Hyunjin!" I rush to him, taking him by the hand. Hyunjin snatches it away with one wave of his arm, "That's not what's happening at all! I don't know who I like, I don't have a crush on any of you"

There is a single thought running through my mind: I don't wanna lose Hyunjin. I don't wanna lose Hyunjin. I don't wanna lose Hyunjin. It's hammering inside my head, giving me a migraine.

"You don't look good in white lies" He stops, his hand on the doorknob, "So don't lie to me, 'cuz our friendship always meant more than that" He doesn't turn back to look at me, but I know his eyes are tearing up, because his voice is breaking.

"I'm not lying" I pray for someone to make him understand.

"That's okay, Y/N" He mutters, turning the doorknob, "We're good friends. You didn't lose me"

But I did.

Each crackle my doorknob made as he opened the door felt like a bullet to my heart, all carrying the same message: I'm losing him, don't let him go! I'm losing him, don't let him go! I'm losing him, don't let him go!

Then, Hyunjin closes the door behind him.

I lost him.

I stood there, frozen in the middle of my room, as the sound of the closing door echoed in my ears like a ghost haunting my thoughts. My bedroom, which used to be a sanctuary of our friendship, was now reduced to crumbs and ashes, violated by something much greater than us. The room grew insufferably bigger until it felt emptier than it had ever been. My insides mimicked my surroundings, and tears welled up in my eyes as I missed Hyunjin's heat beside me. Suddenly, I miss the winter uniform again, although for different reasons.

I collapse onto my bed, feeling the weight of my feelings down on me along with the reality. Through my blurred vision, I stare at the screen, wondering why this game had happened to me. Finally, I allow my tears to flow, soaking my pillow, which muffles my wails.

Was it a bad ending? Did I screw up my friendship with Hyunjin? Should I stop playing and go back in time, reset all of this?

I wipe my tears away, looking back at the screen.

Chapter's 1 Reward Unlocked: First Confession!

Status: Bad Ver.

Jin can't stop thinking about what you said: You might like someone else. Was it Reno? Did that smug, insensitive guy conquer your heart in so little time? Jin can't let this happen! Snatching your heart is his only way to take you back. Did your heart flutter with his confession? He hopes so but knows better than to force you into this. Perhaps, he'll have another opportunity, when your heart belongs a little more to him and less to that prick Reno. But that depends on you. Who'll you choose next? The future is in your hands.

I stare blankly at the gleaming words.

Slowly but surely, small pieces of a puzzle start to connect inside my mind. There was no good outcome to follow up on my choice. All along, Hyunjin was supposed to be hurt by the possibility of me liking Minho. All along, there was no way you would connect on a deeper level because I was meant to lose points. It didn't matter how truthful our feelings were, or how kindly we tried to expose our views.

The future is in your hands.

Whatever my future was, it wasn't mine to take yet.

Not without conquering it in that damn game.

[crowkacola]

Welcome to another episode of Crowe's incoherent rambles, this week's topic:

Lawn, Lamp, and The Ripper :

The (somewhat) accidental crossover au

By now, you probably have seen Lawn and Lamp, they have become very prevalent background characters since the comic first began; and they have a ridiculous amount of lore tied between them. For those who really recognize them, their connection and lore is no surprise.

Also you probably see this coming, but Death Note spoilers ahead! If you are confused as to why, this message is probably for you anyway.

Lawn as a character was created waaaay back when I was writing chapter 1. My husband and I happened to be watching Death Note (for my first time) around the time I started working on Page 15. I was obsessed with the character of L, so I put him in the background as a subtle cameo. I nicknamed him "Lawn" from his full name (Lawliet) and that is where I assumed it would end.

However, when I started taking character submissions, my partner and I discussed the idea of creating Light as well. But unfortunately, we decided his Canon design was far too plain to even be recognized. So we had to get creative.

We made Light a hoardling, mostly to serve as a counter to Lawn, but it also gave us an excuse to spice up his design by combining it with Ryuk's look. Once again, meant to be a funny one off cameo. Since he was a hoardling, he got a goofier, hoard-worthy name: Lamp

But with a design we poured a lot of love into, stemming from a show my partner and I adored, we started to contemplate what could have happened to these two in this world. How did Lamp (formerly known as Lumen) end up like this?

Those who are familiar with Death Note know that L (or Lawn in this case) is defeated, and killed. But in Craftworld, Lumen (Light) died first. This brought several prompts to mind that became the basis of this new AU:

◇ How did Lumen Die?

◇ What does a "death note" look like in a world w/ life tokens?

◇ Does Ryuk exist? Does Misa exist?

It was all just too fun to think about. But copying the entire cast from Death Note wasn't too enticing, we instead had the idea to pair our silliest little guy patches, with the pair that were trying to find one of Craftworlds most renowned serial killers. What could go wrong!

The idea of Patches secretly being a hardened cop was too funny. This also gave us the excuse to have Patches be close to Lawn. Since they started out as the only two detectives for the knights, having them hang out was expected. This also gave us what I personally think is one of the most iconic panels in UVT's history.

And yes, Lawn does know that Patches eats the pieces. He believes this makes the game more challenging and fun for him to play. But Taffeta is getting really sick of buying these two more chess pieces.

In the end, the tragic story of Lawn and Lumen is one that will be told in the background over time. While I would love to make all the comics in the world to explain it, (and trust me I have PLENTY of ammo) I just don't have the time. Reguardless, they are both surprisingly complex characters, both of them having more lore than some of the main cast. I never intended to accidentally create a LittleBigPlanet x Death Note crossover AU, but I did. So that's something.

Maybe I'll write scenes from the Ripper case as a short story instead if anyone's interested.

[wist-eri]

an entire blog post dedicated to Haru Allegro, her forte, and her dynamics with the rest of the NDA cast

will contain implied spoilers for the main game. hopefully nothing that’s too spoiler-y though, so read at your own risk i guess??

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how Haru’s forte works:

as i’ve disclosed before, Haru’s forte is soundproofing. meaning, she can select a space and configure it so:

anyone outside of that space would not be able to hear anything within that space, or:

anyone inside of that space would not be able to hear anything outside that space

or both.

in visuals, it looks like a faint, glowing line that either hovers around the space where her forte is activated, or makes a line around the interior of a room where her forte is activated. depends on what space she uses.

the line vanishes after a few seconds. when deactivating, it reappears again only to “break away” and fade out.

other than that, it’s pretty straightforward.

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Haru doesn’t have many opportunities to use her forte in an investigation setting; technically, she could use it for stealth or for eavesdropping, but those are for very rare cases.

which actually leads me into my next point: her main job is freelance arbitration. she really only takes cases if the WDO assigns them to her. though, with the assistance of her forte and her general expertise in negotiation, she’s very talented at her job and has gained a lot of recognition within the field.

not only that, if she’s genuinely investigating a case, she can sometimes take advantage of her connections to gather more information.

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alright, now that i have that set aside, here’s her dynamic with each individual member of the NDA:

Yuma Kokohead - they’re on good terms with each other, and are always willing to [talk to / exchange information with] each other on a daily basis. Haru finds herself surprised by Yuma a couple of times, both with his amount of intelligence and how often he gets into trouble. like, how.

while Yakou tells Yuma the most about Amaterasu Corporation, Haru is the one that provides the most information / background context about the WDO. interestingly enough, she seems to know more about the inner workings of the organization than the average member—for example, the process for scouting other detectives, the examinations during the training period, and much more.

though for some reason, Haru has never disclosed any information about her personal experience with the WDO—especially how she got recruited. but that should be the least of our worries, we have Kanai Ward’s greatest mystery to solve!

fun fact: Haru has tried to assist Yuma with his (disastrous) cooking once. But after realizing the only thing she could really help with was telling him when a shrimp was perfectly cooked, she decided to not get into that territory again. it’s not even like she likes shrimp that much; why is it the only thing she can work with, though? some sort of curse? (/j)

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Fubuki Clockford: at first, Haru was a little worried since Fubuki seemed a little naive and almost too optimistic to be a detective. however, she slowly turned to appreciating this optimism; it was definitely a nice turn from the professional atmosphere that naturally comes with her arbitration work.

meanwhile, Fubuki has somewhat designated Haru as her “detective-adventuring sidekick,” and often takes her on random trips around the city. though Haru usually has no idea where the hell Fubuki is about to take her, she ends up going anyways. besides, she honestly likes Kanai Ward’s scenery; it wouldn’t hurt to see it.

fun fact: Fubuki will end up saving Haru’s life at one point. :)

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Vivia Twilight: really not much to say here as it’s basically just Vivia being Vivia™️ and Haru being Haru™️. but it’s safe to say they definitely don’t mind each other’s presence. Haru surprisingly appreciates the aura of calm that Vivia gives off, and sometimes just sits close by if they find each other alone in the agency. on the other hand, Vivia finds Haru a bit chaotic at times (especially with a character i’ll be getting to in a few moments), but personally doesn’t mind it too much, thinking of it as an added accent to the “peace and quiet” of the NDA.

also, Haru sometimes understands Vivia’s metaphors. they seem to be very specific ones though

fun fact: Vivia once saw Haru dying her hair while in spectral projection form, and dropped in a hint about it when they were talking about a case later that day. Haru got really defensive about it for some reason

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Halara Nightmare: Haru was slightly intimidated by Halara upon introduction; to her, they seemed to be a “no-nonsense” type person (though not like she hasn’t worked with those types of people before). but over a few days, Haru begins to notice their level of sympathy and care for others, which changes her opinion of them. meanwhile, Halara finds Haru a bit dense at times—but is always surprised by how quickly she pieces certain methods/tricks together the moment she clears her original misconceptions. though, Haru’s still slightly trailing behind Halara in her processing speed.

(yakou’s probably even further behind somewhere in the back /j)

fun fact: one time, Halara asked for a relatively large sum of money for one menial task (probably like 20k shien) when they were solving a case together, and Haru almost paid on the spot as if it was nothing. Halara was taken back for a moment, especially since Haru seemed so nonchalant about it (she wasn’t). eventually they sighed and gave Haru a 75% discount.

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Desuhiko Thunderbolt: okay, this is their entire dynamic:

story over. thank you for coming to my tedtalk

but yeah—Desuhiko and Haru have unrivaled amounts of “argumentative sibling” energy towards each other. in this storyline i decided to tone down Desuhiko’s behavior towards women a tiny bit, in exchange for upgrading his superstar complex—which worked perfectly. Desuhiko grabs at any attempt to pull out his electric bass and start playing, but Haru has to mute him to prevent him from blasting music throughout the entire agency.

they constantly banter any time they’re in the same space. Desuhiko is often the first to begin raising his voice during their arguments. but it takes a while for Haru to get to that point; she often sticks to small (and very blunt) retorts for most of the time. at times, their arguments escalate to full-on competitions—though surprisingly, both of them are relatively smart and don’t do anything that would cause serious harm.

but past their argumentative banter, Desuhiko and Haru are actually the closest compared to the other pairings i talked about. one is usually the first to notice when the other seems off.

(this may be foreshadowing)

and as the narrative develops, we see the bond between them strengthen (though they still won’t stop arguing). if the game were in japanese Desuhiko would start calling Haru “aibou” (which is partner,, but like,, with a more familial connotation in some contexts??) by the end of the story. but they still won’t stop arguing :)

fun fact: Haru actually still keeps one of Desuhiko’s voice changers after they had an entire unhinged competition about “who can act like Yakou in front of Yuma for longer” (which stemmed from an entire conversation between the two that i may talk about at one point 😭). she uses it to scare Desuhiko from time to time

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okay, finally:

Yakou Furio: despite being “superior” and “subordinate” in work terms, they seem to be pretty close with each other (in more of a familial context). at first, Haru genuinely wonders how the hell this guy got certified by the WDO, but soon notices his emotional intelligence / empathy and goes “oh. yeah that makes sense” (even when it comes to Haru, who’s a talented negotiator and supposedly knows how to act in a way that satisfies both parties, it’s hard to really grip that emotional aspect for her and being able to understand how others truly feel. Yakou does this as if it’s second nature; which is quite unique for a detective and something Haru really appreciates). (i have evidence for this. i swear)

Haru sometimes works at the agency until late with Yakou (+ other coworkers); and after a long day, sometimes they all just throw everything and head to the bar together.

though, the outing is really just a few hours of Yakou complaining about his subordinates while drunk.

she can still tell that Yakou really cares about the other detectives, though. i mean, although she doesn’t actually listen to his advice and goes on to directly run into the Peacekeepers regardless, the chief has assisted Haru in more ways than one.

fun fact: Yakou is somewhat confused with Haru’s food preference, especially with how much it contrasts with her appearance. in fact, they had an entire moment where Haru admitted she didn’t like meat buns in general because the buns were always too sweet for her and Yakou was just like “????? what is going on with your tongue”

• • •

also, another fun fact.

…they’re narrative foils.

——————

oh my god that was a lot of info. whoops. sorry

but yeah uhhh that’s it from me for now—my inbox is open if you want to ask and/or theorize about her 🫠