#this is one of the fucking funniest lines
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I got something to say, so shut the fuck up and listen. I spent 13 years, half cut up to my eyeballs. Drunk, to put it midely. Then suddenly I saw it. A streetlight shining in my face. 500 Gigawatts, of the power of god. A vision of my bloated body, found in some ditch. Scared me straight. So I got a collar shirt, mortgage and a credit card. All the things that make a good man. I hoped I could raise my children to be better than their old man. I wanted to believe I was never one setback away from my worst self. But the truth is… Discipline… Drive… Routine… The endless, FUCKING desperation to get shit done. A loving wife? great kids? sobriety? I'm telling you. You. Accomplishment I'd been chasing all my life. Never felt as good as I expeccted when I crossed the finish line. … So now that we're at the end, takin' inventory… Those nights spinning out of my head, sinking into the sofa. Broken glass in my palms, bleeding dry, the funniest thing ever. Old dogs, laughing and SNARLING on a waterbed floor, mocking th moon, for daring to SHOW ITS FACE. all nausea and wreckage and vomit… and ugly cruelty. The only problem in the world… an empty bottle. Those were the best days of my life. Yeah. Those were the best days of my life. I got nothing to hide. Ready to face the music. I can see myself for what I am. But you? A coweddly, selfish motherfucker, and you can't even see it. …I should'be been able to protect the kid. If I could have done one thing right… I wish it had been to give him one small chance off this goddamned rock. (Swansea… I'm going to fix everything. We're going to make it!) Fuck. you.
anyway yea mouthwashing is fun!
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#ryuuji suguro#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#ryuji suguro#manga ryuuji#cram school#bon suguro#suguro ryuji#suguro ryuuji#konekomaru miwa#yukio okumura#renzou shima#volume 10 extra#this is one of the fucking funniest lines#i love it#the entire gag is perfect
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picture this: it’s your second week at the commission. your boss is a fucking fish. your coworkers are way too friendly. your higher-ups’ biggest concern is a random ex-employee who you’ve never met, her next being her fashion game. and her daughter is just running around wreaking absolute havoc.
and then one day the meanest 13-year old you’ve ever seen in your life walks in, finishes his case in 10 minutes, and immediately after gets recognized as the best worker in the room full of adults.
im quitting on the spot wbu
#sorry but the line “your boss is a fucking fish’’#is so so funny to me#making myself laugh way too hard at that one#funniest part is that it’s literally not exaggerating. he literally is a fish#laur says stuff#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua s4#hargreeves siblings#number five#tua season 4#tua five#number five hargreeves#tua number five#old five#the commission#temps aeternalis#temps commission#tua season 1#tua s1#tua s1e6#tua spoilers#five tua
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"LoOk WhAt YoUr BrOtHeR diD tO tHe DoOr!!"
#this is one of the funniest line deliveries ever#i've watched it so many times#idk why this cracks me up so much lol#drayton is so fucking goofy i s2g#tcm#texas chainsaw massacre#drayton sawyer#nubbins sawyer#my clips
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L + ratio + thy wheel of fate turns ever to the dark
#objectively one of the funniest withers lines can you imagine being a [REDACTED] trying to redeem yourself and every fucking day#the skeleton who follows you everywhere is like WELL WELL WELL… if it isn’t mister COSMICALLY DAMNED#op#bg3
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I know "ask ffs" stands for "ask Folding Fitted Sheets" but I keep reading it as "ask for fuck's sake"
It's not a bad thing though, I just read it as if you were going "well ask for fuck's sake! I don't bite, come on, don't be shy and ask me stuff" 😂
I’ve gotten a couple asks along this vein recently and I’m gonna post this one as a heads up- in my FAQ this is the top ask I get, and both readings of FFS are valid.
But also I do bite, so like. Watch out.
#ask ffs#there’s three in my inbox along these lines and it’s okay that people didn’t read the faq#but I also don’t want to publish a million of the same ask sorry#but this one was the funniest so this is your daily reminder that whether it’s fucks sake or fitted sheets is up to you
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so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it
#ria.txt#i spoiled myself so at first i was like 'this is bonkers wtf are they doing in those last few chapters?????'#but then it was like. yeah. i see#love those ch when it's just clearly putting the squad into Situations#also. izutsumi#what i really liked was how tightly the protagonist and the deuteragonist were wound up in the overall themes#the plot the themes the conflict the characters it was very neatly connected#hence i am also now accidentally invested in whatever going on between laios and marcille#not just platonic not romantic not enemies i just think they work well tgt and deeply care for each other its great watching them develop#it's the leader + most trusted advisor / anxious girlfailure + the annoying freak she's somehow attached to vibes#haha that rabbit chapter with marcille. hahha i was like what the fuck man. it was funny and then boom whump [tears streaming down my face]#those shapeshifter chs were sooo much fun esp seeing other chara's perceptions of each other. stealing that#the changeling ones were great too elf senshi is the fucking funniest he looks sooooooo unserious#marcille's evolving perception with death starting with saving falin and saving the squad and her nightmares of outliving everyone-#-and her dad and her 'temper tantrum' and UGH when at the end she said she was fine with falin not coming back.... WAAA. OUGH.#i think dunmeshi handled the trope of 'prophecy of chosen one becoming king' pretty well and it makes sense why laios is the protag#the worldbuilding is so thoughtful as well i liked seeing different characters with different worldviews interact#very solid and well rounded series wooo#the main 4 has such a fun dynamic together#anyways. dunmeshi au.....#more like borrowing the worldbuilding bc charas are too nuanced for a one to one comparison#ren is like some prince of his own species but he's like 34th in line and no one cares about him so he fucks off to eat monsters#which is why he's both snobbish AND a total freak when it comes to his food taste#false is originally in for the money from ren and plans to scam him but unfortunately the cringefail swag captures her#martyn is Obnoxiously Clueless and thinks he's smart but he's not. he's resourceful but also pathetic and crazy#stress cant cook but she thinks she does so everyone goes (≖_≖ ) when she picks up a pot. they delegate her to killing and chopping duty#the mvp is iskall who keeps on saving everyone's asses and somehow has resources for everyone#i think ren is actually aware false is going to scam him but he has too much money to spend anyway and he thinks shes cool so he lets her??#and somehow she doesnt take the money and run. and goes back to eating monsters w/ the party. everyone is crazy
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finnish cats shenanigans are always my favourite but especially on sasha cup day with the cup involved the hijinks ramp up to 100 lmaooo
"wheres my- (realising sasha is in front of him and quickly stutters to change it to our so he doesnt get wacked over the head) wheres our names?"
(luosty proceeds to cackle in the bg like the shit stirrer he is realising lundys slip of the tongue and if he noticed sasha definitely noticed)
"wheres my name? wheres my name ☺️?" and it was at that moment lundy knew he fucked up
it never ceases to endlessly entertain me how much of a punk lundy can be and im so glad sasha is here to put him in his place because sheesh this kid sometimes XD
"and then luosty but i didnt want to give it to him but he took it" eh? is that so? who couldve guessed???
environmental storytelling, captain said haha okay mine now its mine let go ☺️💢
Sasha Cup Day | 7.31.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#anton lundell#eetu luostarinen#florida panthers#the dynamic between sasha and lundy is so entertaining#lundy is just a little punk#a sincere one but a punk all the same#i too would go your name huh haha what about MY name wheres my name you little punk ☺️💢#the complete stutter stop he made like ooooo lundy knew he fucked up so bad#luostys CACKLE makes this scene it truly does like oh your dumb friend is gonna get in trouble with the teacher#and you can do nothing but relish the downfall for his own idiocy#true besties#kills me luosty goes missed ya 😃 to the cup like its his long lost lover#BOTH LUNDY AND LUOSTY IMMEDIATELY NEEDING TO KISS AND HOLD MISS TINCAN THEY HAVE BEEN SO DEPRIVED OF HER 😭😭😭#sasha dry humour and delivery is so perfect it really elevates the emotionality of his lines hes so fucking funny#sasha whats it like to be the funniest bitch here
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so i just watched a film
#calvary 2014#every scene in this movie is like one of the funniest lines of dialogue you've ever heard followed immediately by something totally fucked
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Happy tenth birthday to book 2, and specifically, this Aric line:
because. No he didn't
#deadass this line doesn't amount to anything. you could say it refers to him killing his mother#but he didn't have an INVESTMENT in the war itself. he just rocked up after stabbing rhian mf didn't even know there was a war on#and also couldn't have been that. as I remember it's literally just a complete coincidence that he turns up to the School#so he didn't go there JUST to kill his mother#ergo. line makes no sense#lmao imagine stabbing some guy who was convinced he was the rightful king of Camelot#and then pulling up to that massive magical school that your mum works at (and your bf hates)#only to be met with the Literal Prince Of Camelot as the ruler of one of the schools#id be fucking hysterical#for all I clown on Aric he's constantly inadvertently the funniest character in the whole series#well done mate#aricposting#still hate him though#sge#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#tsfgae#awwp
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS
also, honorable mention to the original script for this scene:
#super dark times#zach taylor#allison bannister#sam edits#they make me feel insaaaaaaaane. its so much. i just. AGH. because i mean obviously it's for the sake of Plot#but just the start of her 'I like Zach and am GONNA date him' agenda seeming to directly coincide with The Daryl Incident is so... tragic#the Zach from a few days earlier—the Zach in the basement giggling about how he likes her—was never the Zach that got to be#the center of her attention this way. but tbh the FUNNIEST explanation for this timing to me is the idea that him shouting 'PENIS'#outside her house while fucking around with Josh was the thing that pushed her to be like 'ok fuck it i want him and im gonna get him'#bc she DID call to invite him to her party that same night. it's unclear if she called before or after but. it def could have been after#also also also: the fact that this scene is the last time they see each other before the. stuff at Meghan's house. they talk on the phone#briefly after (in which she calls him an asshole under her breath because he's calling to ask for what she thinks is another girl's number)#which... much to think about there. especially with the script's original 'she gives up on him' line. agughghghh#(though in the script version they actually do see each other one more time. or. well. she sees him but he doesn't notice her)
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simon peter is the funniest apostle to work with because in theory he's the most loyal, most by-the-book of the apostles so you'd expect him to be the most logical and collected one but 80% of his concerns (pre crucifixion then everything went downhill and they all died) are that he has a crush on every person he encounters
#🧅#im not religious just insane.jpg#true poly disaster. funniest shit ever.#cause yknow simon p's a fisherman he's married he's a very poster family man#and he loves his wife he really does. im not gonna make the only guy who's married fucking Hate his wife and want to like. go have gay sex#instead cause mlm good mlw bad. but he does have his. Issues. concerning how he views women#he's gonna work on that though i'm not leaving him like that don't worry. peter already knew the torah by heart probably for peter turning#to god meant learning how to respect women. and yknow people he considered 'ungodly' in general. to respect humanity as he respects god.#tee hee i love this arc. i love all of them but i dont ever rlly talk abt this one.#but anyways yes he does love his wife.#then some strange guy shows up while he's fishing and he's like follow me son of jonah i will make you a Fisher Of Men. and peter's like#TEE HEE OKAY JESUS i will come fish men with you.#which......okay....simon....... interesting that u wanted to do that..... with zero context....#and then cue weird thing with magdalene. which. they don't end up together by Any Means.#they hate each other. they have not spoken in a civil manner once. but they do have a weird bond between them than only aromantic people#can understand.#WHICH BTW i already knew there's a thin line between polyamory and aromanticism. but it really showed when while trying to#explore how peter experiences polyromanticism i found myself projecting a lot of my own aromanticism on him#(is polyromantic a correct term? i'm not sure these terms really confuse me especially considering the time period cause like. polyamorous#describes a relationship with multiple people which peter obviously wasn't in in 30 AD. but he Did have romantic feelings for multiple#people so is that polyromanticism? or is that a completely different term? idk. bare with me.)#very interesting. anyways yeah there's that. magdalene is aro also to me. so yeah this is one of the most fun dymanics i have in this lore#cause like. polyromantic person and aromantic person somehow having the same mutual not platonic not romantic but a secret third thing#connection with each other. i love thinking about them
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jekyll and hyde thoughts
#i think. people often fundamentally misunderstand the source material and i like some takes (read: jekyll and hyde musical fucking slaps)#but it's this thing of. no one adapts it true to the story (and dracula and frankenstein and other gothics of the era are the same)#but. i want people to understand that hyde is NOT separated from jekyll truly in the novel. he is not truly a different person!#it's jekyll wanting to get away with horrible acts and then realising that he's going to end up stuck as hyde and thus face consequences fo#his own actions. such as. y'know. murder#hyde is a persona; a man in his twenties that lets jekyll get away with horrific actions but hyde is not necessarily a different person!#the horror isn't jekyll losing himself it's him realising that this was all for nothing because he is going to get caught! he's an awful ma#from: tal is listening to the musical again and having Opinions. i also. have thoughts on the musical too#oh also and no one adapts the line ''if he be mr hyde than i shall be mr seek'' and i think it's one of the funniest things ever
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jack "USE THE LADIES ROOM" crawford my beloved
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Based on @13urningsecrets shenanigans / @unmakxr
#crack.#unmakxr.#visuals.#cherr after chatting it up with another god about food#first rung and soup and now the unmaker and five guys#im sorry i cant. stop crackling#“hey god get me a burger or ill fuck five more guys out of spite” is one of the funniest lines ive ever written before
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IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 3 DAYS!
song for today:
VANESSA: daniela told me what you did for me and it’s honestly the sweetest thing anyone ever did for me now, what can i say or do to possibly repay you for your kindness? USNAVI: ...how do you get this gold shit off?
#song for today: champagne#HA!#you guys don't know that but i am actually writing this on november 1st while listening to in the heights#(i don't know why i just needed to say that)#one of my favourite songs and the funniest one#HOW DO YOU TAKE THIS GOLD SHIT OFF will be forever the funniest line i've ever heard in my entire life#but then again i think lin is the funniest guy in the whole wide world#where do i find a guy like him?#huh?#jesus fucking christ why do i always have to be LIKE THIS in the tags of every single post of mine#please don't mind me i just drank my third coffee#i can barely handle myself#TWO DAYS!!!#three*#have i just made a mistake how do you delete this-#it won't be long now*#Spotify
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