#this is one of the funniest line deliveries ever

[davecumstaine]

"LoOk WhAt YoUr BrOtHeR diD tO tHe DoOr!!"

[ratshien]

sucks s4 is unskippable because of the gary glow-up because s4 of the venturebros has some of the worst jokes ive ever heard in my life. there are a couple good episodes but ive never seen another group of people fumble a character or make a joke that is as unfunny as seargant hatreds whole thing . s4 literally has me embarrassed to recommend the show to others sometimes

[babykittenteach]

Note: I made this solely based off my discomfort for "grown adults need outside parties to meddle in their relationships" plots, and I gather there's other discourses going on, sorry if this poll crossed anyone's dash and made it feel pervasive, I was hoping for, if anything, some interesting comments and definitely got some. Trope talk is fun. I actually really respect the writers for scrapping outside influence and having this be between Ed and Stede, and yes, I'd've loved to see them dance and yes, seeing them be horny at each other --without a Chorus of other crew involved-- would have been great.

For me, can't stand them, makes me think worse of the couple that gets matchmade, and the only good one is Emma where it doesn't work and the matchmaker has to concede she fucked up, but since those stories keep getting made and people seem to be mourning that we didn't see "Crew tries to matchmake them" in OFMD, I'm curious what the skew is.

[ambreiiigns]

it's giving me ritual. the REAL TRUE ONLY mvp of the ghost discography

[amygdalae]

the iasip "SICKNESS BEGONE!" line never fails to make me laugh its genuinely one of the funniest line deliveries ive ever heard

[writerthreads]

Americanisms that annoy the crap out of me in writing

By Writerthreads

Welcome back to another post! Today is a little rant/PSA for all of you who use American English and terminology.

When I read books that are meant to portray British characters, I get so annoyed when I read jarring Americanisms. Here’s a list of them that are especially annoying (I’m sorry):

“Pants”

Pants = underwear. Every time I read something on Ao3 along the lines of “Harry spilled a cup of tea on his pants” I immediately think of him drinking said tea in his undies which is absolutely hilarious.

Somebody who can’t afford to go to the GP/hospital??

Hello, we have the NHS which is free at the point delivery!!! #rare uk w

I had to fully stop reading a fic when a British character couldn’t afford medical care and that was a whole plot-line.

As a medical student, this scenario is fully bizarre for me to comprehend. The only situation in which someone wouldn’t seem medical attention from my pov is if they don’t want to wait for hours at the A&E

Chips/crisps/fries omfg

Chips= the fatter ones you get with fish and chips

Crisps: potato chips

Fries: the thinner ones from Maccies

Cookies vs biscuits

To this day, I still don’t fully get the cookie/biscuit thing but according to my British friends who get annoyed when I mix them up, biscuits are meant to be crunchier (eg. Chocolate digestives & jammie joggers), while cookies are softer, eg. chocolate chip cookies

Biscuits covered in gravy????

What is that. That is not a thing. The UK equivalent would be a scone (sweet, eaten with jam and clotted cream or smth like that and which one goes first is a whole debacle) or a Yorkshire pudding.

Accent/slang

Different people from different areas in the UK speak differently & have different vernacular. When who’s meant to be posh speaks in roadman talk, it’s the funniest thing ever, so please do research carefully!

Takeout

Unfortunately I do say this quite a bit, but people are saying this more in the UK now imo. Takeaway is the preferred term.

Fall

“It’s fall because the leaves fall form the treeeeees” no bro it’s autumn. I grimace every time I read this in a book set in the UK.

I could care less

Ok, then care less? It’s I couldn’t care less, which makes more sense anyways.

Fanny pack

Fannies mean something else in the UK lol. It’s a bum bag, but this term is used more now maybe?

Freshman year? College? Frats? Spring break?

We have a different education system :) uni is three years usually, colleges are halls at uni or sixth form colleges

Little annoyances:

Math: It’s maths. Mathematics.

Vacation: holiday (more interchangeable now tho)

“Line up”: “QUEUE up”

On accident: by accident

Trunk/hood: boot/bonnet (I do a weird mix and say boot/hood, my bad lol)

I drive stick vs I drive manual (learnt this from my ex). Most people in the UK (and Europe) drive manual because it’s supposedly superior

Movie: film (more interchangeable now)

Principal: headmaster/mistress

There’s probably a longer list somewhere…

Thank you for bearing with me. My friends are now subject to me saying ‘trousers’ every time they say ‘pants’, I can’t help it (help I’m getting colonised)

Also look up slang (esp slang from certain parts of London, or roadman slang), they’re hilarious and I can’t help but say some of them now (I blame my friends but honestly calling a meal a scran is so funny)

Anyways goodbye

[leonardcohenofficial]

highlights of getting lunch with malcolm mcdowell and spending much of the afternoon with him today (still a surreal thing to type out):

unsurprisingly he is incredibly nice and quite funny in conversation

he seemed surprised that i asked him about the raging moon (one of my favorite performances of his) and said it was probably the most naturalistic performance he ever did

spoke highly of wendy carlos; he said he got to visit her studio and that it was very impressive

so many great kubrick anecdotes with one of my faves being being that mcdowell used to absolutely slaughter him at ping-pong, which he said was one of the best ways he was able to get back at him throughout the filming process

the other way he got back at kubrick was by performing very enthusiastically with the brunette actress during the william tell sped-up threesome sex scene because kubrick had a crush on her and mcdowell wanted to fuck with him (to the point that they were apparently getting quite into it and kubrick ended up yelling off-camera “THAT’S ENOUGH”)

he expected a totally different take on the cat lady when reading the script but was impressed with miriam karlin, who “looked like she could beat the shit out of [him]”; also was a big fan of her line “cut the SHIT, sonny” (which is admittedly one of the funniest deliveries of the whole film)

during the filming of the scene in alex’s bedroom at the beginning of the film with the snake (named basil), when they went to begin the take the snake was not in the drawer it was supposed to be, which freaked mcdowell out and they had to search to find the snake, which had cozied itself up inside the mattress

later in the same scene where there’s the tight shot of alex listening to beethoven where it looks like he’s masturbating, apparently mcdowell is just taking his boots off (i myself have written about how in both the novel and the screenplay he’s just listening to the music, it absolutely looks like he’s jerking off LOL)

i did the intro the the screening of clockwork that he was in town for and said it was a very well-done and smart introduction which made me feel good (:

[confoundedluna]

got that until dawn ps3 version quote list for y'all Finally

it is Just as stupid and ridiculous as the final version and it deserves appreciation too - this post might be longer than the other actually since this version has more chapters, we shall see, and the characters seem to talk to themselves a lot, plus I want to call out More of the dialogue since it's lesser known overall compared to the final game

again, please note these aren't in any particular order, I think they're Mostly chronological per character, I just type them as they come up in the videos and the videos are a bit odd in the way the chapters play out (one video is like. chapters 1, 4 and 5, another is 1, 6 and 7, it's just too awkward to be flipping between videos to watch everything in full order), since a lot are incomplete or need multiple builds to showcase everything they can, but I put together a playlist that was Mostly the order the chapters should be in, including different versions of each chapter in case anything changed across the different builds that I might want to take note of

also please note that some of these i typed based off how the subtitles are written and some off of how the lines are delivered - some of them switch the word order or use like a shortened version of a word or whatever, some lines have dialogue that isn't properly subtitled or has an automated voice reading them rather than an actual actor's delivery, I'm sorry if it's inconsistent but that's just how it's gonna be, i might not notice which version of the quote I used but it's basically the same thing so deal with it lmao

and like last time, let me know if i missed or skipped anything you think should be on this list! I tried to be a bit conservative with how many lines I used and go for just the funniest stand out ones or the ones that carried over, either fully or partially, to the finished game

okay enough disclaimers and apologies and shit, on to the quotes!

CHRIS

(SAM: I thought you were dead!) Well that's a fine thing to say to someone.

Wow. Safety. My mind is blown.

A-ha! And here we have the mysterious graphite spray.

It is believed that seances derive their mystical power by channeling the kinetic energy created by nude bodies... gathered as offerings to the occult, particularly those of young, teenage women. Ghosts are typically not concerned with the nude bodies of pasty young men, so if there are any ladies present, would you please remove your shirts and pants-

I'm beginning to think our friendly ghost is dyslexic.

This isn't a video game, Ash! Not everything's a clue!

There's a place in France where the ladies don't wear pants... (ASHLEY: Oh my god, how old are you?)

(ASHLEY: Look at this! Isaiah 11:6!) Is that a baseball thing? Like the signs at games? (ASHLEY: Uh, no, Chris, it's a Bible thing. You know, like a verse?) Oh, that's what those are. We should read it, right? The baseball Bible thing?

(ASHLEY: Look at this lectern, there's all sorts of animals on it.) It's like Noah's ark. Or that channel with all the animals on it.

(ASHLEY: Yep, it's all here. Fire and brimstone.) Blah blah blah, obey all my commands, blah blah blah, kill all your sons and daughters! (ASHLEY: What Bible did you read?) The cool one, duh!

Hey, I got it! See how this rotates? We could line up the animals like it says in the verse! (ASHLEY: Maybe all those hours in Sunday school paid off.) Absolutely. Not.

This just got totally Indiana Jones on us...

I know the human body has a surprising amount of blood in it, but damn.

Someone's been hunting. Guess they don't need a freezer out here.

Alright, handles all around I guess...

Holy shitballs.

I gotta say, this is not the most sensible thing I've ever done in my life.

Maybe we can find the book that the page belongs to. And find the jerk who ripped it out.

(ASHLEY: What is this, chemistry class?) I don't know about you, Ash, but I always like to leave my dangerous chemicals in a food preparation area.

Phew! See, look at that, nothing out there but the wind. (STRANGER: Sometimes the wind is not to be trusted.) Yeah well you would say that wouldn't you...

Do we just seem like slabs of meat to them? Like in old cartoons when one guy would be starving and the other guy would suddenly turn into a T-Bone steak? (STRANGER: Your thoughts wander uncomfortably far for someone walking through the dark in the W's territory…) Well that's precisely why I'd rather think about cartoons...

Brrr it's so cold out here... I guess it's better being cold than dead... though if I get any colder I might wish I was dead...

No more psychos and saw blades and crazy TV rooms and weird skinny monsters and no more snow and no more screaming hunter dudes.

(ASHLEY: How are you holding up, Chris...?) Miraculously. I mean, I'll probably collapse the second I start to think about anything that's been going on. (SAM: Then don't think about it.)

Ash... Even if Jess was down there I don't think it would be a good idea for us to climb into a mysterious hole in the wall...

We just want to get through this. Together, Ash...

ASHLEY

(SAM: Do you think Em is gonna say something about all this?) Knowing Em... she's gonna say plenty...

I tried to join chess club but I wasn't cool enough.

Cannibalism?! Who would buy a book like that? Who would even write a book on cannibalism? (CHRIS: A cannibal...?)

I don't care what it is- why does he keep doing this to us?!

This is our fault... we can't save him, it's our fault!

Not cool. Not cool.

Where does an elevator even go down here?

Bats... I mean, how in the heck are bats down here?

'A week in the mountains' he said, 'we'll get drunk, it'll be fun'...

Ohhh, I hate creepy noises!

They're crazy if they think they're going to find Josh and the stupid key... (SAM: Emily seemed to think she had a pretty good idea of where to look...) Yeah but she's Emily, Sam! When does she ever do anything that isn't some sort of weird selfish game- (SAM: Em seemed pretty shaken up, Ash, she's just trying to help-) She's trying to get us killed. We're all going to die up here. All of us.

(SAM: Just keep going, Ash, just keep going. It's right ahead of us.) It so does not feel like it's right ahead of us.

You've seen Mike with a gun, he seems pretty confident...

Well Sam, there doesn't gotta be another way- I mean we can hope there's another way...

(SAM: Pull it open!) I'm trying! What are you doing?! Don't hurt yourself not helping!

SAM

Ah-yep... limbs are still working.

Bim bam boom! There, fixed it for you.

That was hellacious.

She's usually pretty cool. Seems more like she's nursing a massive crush. (CHRIS: You mean Mike?) Ummm... yeah? Come on, she's sitting out there like a little lost puppy waiting for him.

Is she really being that big of a bitch to him?

(CHRIS: Wicked Witch of the West.) Right? I wish someone would drop a house on her. (CHRIS: That was the Wicked Witch of the East.) Did you seriously just correct me on that?

I can't believe Emily is hooking up with Matt. Didn't really expect her to go full meathead after breaking up with Michael.

Hey, did you get the sense that Jess and Mike are gonna have a uh... 'political summit' on this trip...?

Josh... having a little trouble getting the key into the hole?

(JOSH: I know Sam... I'm sorry... my fingers feel like they're gonna break off...) Do you want me to warm your fingers up so you can get the lock open?

Hello...? Hey guys, is that you? What are you guys doing? Being creepy...?

Hey?! I'm getting a little creeped out here fellas...

Someone help me, I'm stuck in here with a maniac!

I guess Josh needs kind of like a 'time-out' after what he did to us, but...

Okay. That does it. Door is locked. Nothing in or out.

Are you crazy? Or just stupid? You go out there and you're dead. In here we can at least wait- (MIKE: Until what? Come on, Sam.) Until dawn.

(EMILY: How did you find us?) You were making a total ruckus. Emily, I'm not sure you got the memo about the stealth mission.

Perfect. A giant hole.

(EMILY: Be careful...) As opposed to...?

(EMILY: You having a good time up there, Sam?) It's a god damn party.

Don't scream- don't scream- don't scream- (EMILY: I can't help it, I can't-)

Empty. Could have been one of us in there...

Okay Mister Elevator, let's see what we're working with here...

Wow. Now that's more like it. This is baaaaaadass.

Come on already, where is that fricking code?

Come on girl. You'd look good with that in your hands. Don't be shy.

Hey... bout time I found the Big Boy firepower.

I am so done with this place.

Get me outta here. Gotta find the cable car.

Get me out of here. Just get me to the first floor.

I just want to be on the ground, not up here.

Stairs? Ladder? Elevator? Escalator? Just need to get down to the ground floor.

I need out. Find my way to the cable car.

Gotta find the ground floor.

You guys look starved. Let me just fire up the grill.

MIKE

All ye who enter must pay the toll! Take off your pants!

(CHRIS: Maybe I can get a signal long enough to download a manual for one of these things.) ...Nerd alert, amirite?

(CHRIS: Nature calls.) Did you give her my number?

You throw like a- (JESS: Don't say it!) Was just gonna say you throw like a- (JESS: Don't!) ...throw like a beautiful, enchanting woman!

Awww! That's one to show the grandkids, right? (JESS: Don't get ahead of yourself, mister.) I wouldn't dream of it.

You wanna hear a joke? (JESS: Sure! I love to laugh.) Okay. So, how many librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (JESS: Dunno, how m-) Shhh!!! (JESS: Really? Ugh.)

(JESS: Goddamn batteries! Shake it, that usually helps! Awesome!) Shake-powered batteries? Who knew.

I wonder what's down there. Ah, I bet it's just a bunch of pickaxes and old cart tracks and miner bones and ghosts of miners, and miner curses and... Woah. Get a grip dude. Class President.

Look at that. (JESS: What're all those symbols?) I think they're ancient. (JESS: Ancient what?) Ancient symbols. (JESS: Such insight...)

I'm not super thrilled at the idea of bears hanging around and crashing our party.

Looks like the path is a little blocked up. (JESS: What do you mean?) Well, it's got all this... tree in the way.

Where'd you go? Jessica? You've got at least five good minutes left until I bring out the waterworks.

This looks like the work of a bear. I do not like the way bears work.

Jess, hon? I promise I totally won't murder you when I find you. Maybe just a little.

So cold out here, but I'm sweating! Is that normal?

(JESS: You're trying to just freak me out, aren't you?) What? Why? (JESS: To get in my pants.) Yes, I would like to scare the pants off you.

So... One time I jumped over a crazy deep ravine on my bike. All the kids from the neighbourhood came out. Some local news too. Everyone thought I wasn't going to make it. (JESS: But you did?) Nope. Totally died. Been dead six years now. (JESS: You're lying.) Am I, though? (JESS: ...yes? ... Right?) There's only one way to find out...!

We're all alone in here, babe. Just you and me... the Presidential suite. (JESS: Well, Mr President, the lights don't work. And I'm freezing!)

Someone really doesn't like things to stay in one piece around here. Why would someone tear this up?

My jaw's chiselled enough already, but still, it could be useful.

Well, I've found the killer bathtub. Jesus, what did I think would be in there?

Woah. Check out the crazy sex book they have up here.

What is this? Ms. Dunkle's tenth grade science project?

Well, we're here now, so we might as well make use of the amenities. (JESS: Like the bed?) Yeah, I'm thinking mostly the bed.

Alright, madame, is there anything else that you require, or shall I retire to my quarters? (JESS: You're not going anywhere.) Madame requires additional services? (JESS: I can think of a few.)

Huh. Turns out our monster is just a broken branch. Guess it must have seen us and gotten jealous.

(JESS: Finally I have your attention.) The Vice President is standing by. (JESS: Well, why don't you bring him into the Oval Office?) Let's sign this bill into law!

Gotta stay calm. Focused. Get out of this rotten pit.

Crap, what are you doing Mikey, what's wrong with you... this asshole killed Jess... he should pay for that... but nobody's gonna pay for anything unless you get out of here in one piece, buddy...

Stay cool, Mikey. Stay cool.

(groans) Unngh… Either I'm getting weaker or doors are getting heavier…

Come on Sir Mike. Don't be such a wimp. Think about Jessica.

He could be waiting for me… it would be wise for me to tread lightly in the lion's den.

Just stay on your guard Potus… Stay alert…

Let's go, Mikey, let's go.

Gravity's my co-pilot on this one.

Aww… god… smells like something died in here, came back to life, ate its own corpse and then threw it all up…

Well well well. Here we are again. Sometimes wandering around in circles ain't so bad.

This is the creepiest rehearsal space I've ever seen.

Alright, keep your head Mr. President. Calm under pressure…

Ah great, another scenic wing of 'le castle de dilapitacion'.

Alright… look at that. Now we're getting somewhere. Don't know where, but somewhere.

Births and deaths, 1905. Some light bedtime reading for when we get through this.

Man, I can't even skip lunch without becoming a hungry monster, how did these guys feel over 23 days. Wait, no, i don't want to think about it.

Hey! Proper old school photo. Ain't that many left that roll with this kind of geddup anymore.

Chris was killed right in front of us, Jack the monster hunter was torn to pieces and now we're just waiting around like sitting ducks? No. We have to get off the mountain. Now.

Boom! For the win.

(EMILY: Ugh. I hate this place.) Admittedly, they have let it go... (EMILY: Yeah, they haven't dusted in years down here...)

Ah, seems like patient number four was suffering from a bout of being too extraordinary.

I'll tell you what. If the patients weren't completely nuts when they checked in, this place would drive them crazy.

(EMILY: Alright, so how are we gonna get out of here?) Scream and cry like girls?

Pe-culiar? That's actually like a for real medical term? Must have been Charlie Cheswick's records.

I wonder how far your gums have to recede before they start measuring them. If I'm reading this right, this guy must have looked like a dollar store Halloween mask. Wouldn't want to meet these chompers in a dark alley. Or terrifying sanitorium.

If wishes were horses beggars would be cowboys. (CHRIS: Woah. You did not just say that.) That guy Jack had some pretty catchy phrases don't you think?

EMILY

(CHRIS: We just saw Jessica, down by the cable car.) Ugh. Any more perfume on that B and you'd think she was a bachelorette party.

My lips are already so chapped. (MATT: I can kiss them and make them better.) In your dreams Loverboy.

Oh my god, are you gonna swallow his face whole? We're all here! How much more of your crap can we take?

Listen you little slut, maybe because I am not on crack I can see what you're doing.

I don't have to spy when clearly you're showing off with your tongue halfway down his throat.

(JESS: You heard what I said.) Why don't you say it again to my face you bitch?

You do whatever you want. If there's a crazy murderer running around then I'm going to get the hell out of here. (MATT: Maybe he's right, Em-) Do you want me to go out there all alone, Matt? Because I will.

We'll take the cable car to go get help, dummy. Come on.

This is totally crazy Matt. This is totally crazy. My head is spinning.

Ugh. It's freezing out here. I did not pack for this.

I wish Chris and Ashley were more helpful. (MATT: Em, you hardly gave them a chance-) You know, I'm just trying to help the situation.

I just can't believe it's happened again! I mean like, is this family cursed? (MATT: Yeah the whole mountain feels cursed.)

Okay, you done good Matt. Took you a while, but you done good.

Look, if you're not gonna call for help, then maybe you should at least get some tunes going for us to listen to while we sit here and freeze to death can you please just get the radio working Matt oh my god oh my god!

Oh my God, stop talking like you're in a movie. Are you pushing the right button? Is there even a signal?

Wow. These clothes are all torn up. And I don't think it's because they were ripped off the sale rack in a shopping spree…

Ugh. Why do these machines always have to be so complicated?!

Ahhh! Jesus… them's the brakes.

Oh come on batteries… stick with me just a little longer…

Ugh… are those… bite marks on the bones? As in like… eating marks?

This is hell. That's all there is to it. Hell. I fell into hell and there are devils wandering around who will poke me with their forks.

Okay, keep quiet, Em. Put a lid on it. Don't want to attract attention...

Juuuust stay quiet... What would Princess Emilia do? I'll tell you what she'd do: she would stay quiet. Shhhh.

Wow. Good thing I checked my claustrophobia at the door. This is gonna be tight. I guess it's either through this little hole or turn around and face Mr Sunshine out there. Hmm. Excellent options!

I gotta try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right Miss A-student beauty queen and all around hottie?

Bingo! Done. Voila. QED. Hee haw. Locked and loaded. That is how we roll. You go girl. Aaaaannnnd... Cut it. Print it. Saved. Vamos!

Top...! It's the top! Mine top... tip top top of the mine...! No more shaft just... this place! I'm out of the mine! ...Back to the lodge! Back to the fires and warmth and friends! Oh little lodge, I missed you so much... how do I get out of here?

(MIKE: You locking us in?) I'm locking the baddies out. Can't be too careful. (MIKE: Glad you're sure the baddies are out there and not in here.) Feels good to lock a door...

(MIKE: Wow. I guess I totalled the place huh?) Mikey had a tantrum? (MIKE: When I commit to something, I like to do a thorough job.) Hmmmm. Don't remember you making heaven and earth move for me... (MIKE: Hey. Don't say that...) I'm kidding... You did okay... (MIKE: ...that's better...) ...considering the tool you have to work with... (MIKE: Easy! Easy!)

This whole wing just feels like it was for the real head cases. Right? Like the lost causes. (MIKE: Yeah. It's got a really pleasant vibe in here. Let's keep moving.)

Ew. Ew! His gums were receding?! Didn't he floss?! Some people just do not understand the importance of dental hygiene.

One order of W pâté, comin' up!

Wow, Sam, you're really getting all Rambo on us.

(SAM: Look. The machinery. If we can get those metal containers in a row... we can get across.) You're kidding, right? On those rusty... rust buckets out there?

(SAM: You got it! It's working!) That's right, 'cause I'm the mecha-master! (SAM: Now if we get them lined up... We can just hop right across!) Already on it, Rambo. Or should I say... Sam-bo. (SAM: Ah... no... I don't think you should say that.)

An elevator...! Probably broken. Why is everything on this goddamned mountain falling apart!

(SAM: Looks like we've got find a way across.) Score one for Captain Obvious.

(SAM: We've got one shot to get out of here and we can't screw it up.) Right back at ya, lady.

JESSICA

(CHRIS: What's Mike doing?) He's getting all of our stuff to the lodge. Nails. Just had 'em done.

(SAM: We can help you with the stuff.) Oh that's so nice! But... I kinda like it when Mike does it.

Ugh, finally we're out of that stupid wind. I was freezing my buns off out there. (MIKE: I can help you with those if you like...!)

(MATT: Come on Em, relax.) No, it's not okay Matt. That bitch is on crack or something.

Whatever. I don't have time for jealous bitches.

Fine. Whatever. Anything to get away from that whore. (EMILY: Are you kidding me? I'm the whore?)

Ugh, you know, I can't believe Emily sometimes... why is she such a royal B? How could you have ever gone out with someone like that?

(MIKE: Exiled.) More like sex-iled.

Come on troops, move out.

I wonder if they have any room service up at the cabin. I could so use a triple grande mocha cappuccino right now.

You lit up my night... Now all we need are some fireworks later...

How bout some jams? (MIKE: Whatever puts you in the mood.) This one might be my favourite... Until their next one comes out, then that'll probably be my favourite. (MIKE: That's a really good way of thinking about it.) Thanks! ... ...what?

(MIKE: Josh seemed pretty happy to get rid of us back there, didn't he?) Michael! I had no idea you had such a gossipy side... Is this the politician in you? (MIKE: Politician nothing; the guy's a dick!) Hmm.

I keep having this great thought, but then I keep forgetting it.

Somebody's going to owe me a new outfit.

(MIKE: I didn't know Hannah wore glasses.) Yeah. Just when she wasn't around any cute boys.

I wonder if they deliver take out up here. I mean right here.

Ugh. My shoes are getting so moist.

I wonder what's going on back at the lodge. Everybody's probably doin' it.

Nature's kinda gross.

Is that Orion's belt or is he just happy to see me?

Hah! I'm totally going to tell everyone about your fear of birdies.

Stand back, Debbie downer.

Don't worry, I'll save Woodsgate for the next election.

(MIKE: Some of these planks are pretty rickety.) You know what else is rickety? (MIKE: What?) Your face is rickety. (MIKE: That's a really good one!) Thank you!

(MIKE: Watch your step, Jess.) You know what? You're worse than my mom. My mom!

Boom! Sting like a butterfly and float like a bee.

Wow, look at that old photo. (MIKE: Must be an old mining team.) Looks like they really knew how to... handle themselves. (MIKE: Sounds like you wish you could handle them.) Looks really old. I wonder if they're all dead now. Ugh! So creepy!

(MIKE: Probably faulty wiring or something.) You've got faulty wiring.

Unless you want to make out with an ice sculpture, I suggest you get a fire going. Pronto.

It's so cold in here right now my tongue would get stuck to your flagpole.

I'm cold, I'm bored, and I'm getting rapidly less horny. You want to hurry it up with the fire?

(MIKE: It's so dusty.) No maid service up here? What a rip.

Coldness generally isn't conducive to hotness, Michael... Woah. That sounded, like, deep.

While you were trying to find the right button to push, I found some de-light-ful candles that wonderfully spice up the place and light up all the nooks and crannies... Far more cosy and accommodating, don't you think?

I can't lose my phone, my parents are gonna kill me! (MIKE: You can always get a new one!) That's like my fourth one this year.

Just unfasten it! (MIKE: I can get it! I can get it!) Don't send a man to do a woman's job.

Oh. Those perverted assholes. Why can't they just leave us alone and let us have a perfectly nice time? God! What jerks! (MIKE: Hey, they're just trying to have a good time.) Yeah? Well, so are we!

You guys are such dicks! Are you really that upset with me and Michael that you want to ruin our fun? Huh? Well, guess what? You can't ruin it! Because Michael and I are gonna screw! That's right! We're gonna have sex! And it's gonna be hot! So enjoy it! 'Cause I know we're going to! Ugh.

MATT

Ohhhh! She just got Emily'd!

Wow. Someone had a good time in here.

Why would someone leave a picture of keys where the keys should be?

This place can't just be a huge death trap, right? Cable car can't be the only way in and out of this joint.

Josh had a lot of problems... I think he just wanted to be able to sort things out... and put this all behind us...

So the joke I learned, it's really good, it's about like, a dude, who's got a haircut like the moon, and-

Coyote? Bear? ... Why is that okay?

C'mon, Matt... You don't wanna die down here.

The hell is that… Jessica? (JESS: Matt? Jesus… So it got you too.) Yeah… You okay? (JESS: Hardly...) Let's get the hell out of this place. Look! There! (JESS: Light!) That's the cable car station!

Come on, man... nearly there... nearly there...

JOSH/THE PSYCHO

Come on, lock... My lockpick skills are a little rusty...

This is the most boring break-in ever. You haven't even broken in yet.

Hey! Grit bin! Nice work moving that over here!

Everything all right in there? (CHRIS: Yeah, I'm fine. It's really dirty. And a little freaky.) Sounds like my kind of date! (CHRIS: Offf course it does.)

Dude, come on! Let's open this jawn!

Ahh-hahaha! Dude are you okay? That lil' wolverine almost gave you a paper cut!

(SAM: Hey, those things are known to be vicious sometimes.) Vicious to lil' babies. Lil' Chrissy babies.

(SAM: Thank you Chris.) Thaaaank you Chriiiiis.

Yo! Explorers! You guys are gonna need the keys for the love shack!

As you can see, your friend Josh is now in quite an unfortunate situation. If you wish to see him dead, then do nothing and you may watch him die.

Second... clue... picture if you will... high atop a powdery mountain... the only place possible for a jacked up jock like Matthew to score a... 'big break'...

If you'll please now direct your attention towards the main attraction...

Not much time left before your friend is... perforated...

Congratulations! You've just bought yourself... more time... to watch your friend die...

My my my, didn't you do well! You fought the system and you've won. And what you've won is a prize! You're a lucky winner, come on down!

Well, that's the end, folks. I only wish it could have turned out differently, but, unfortunately, I'm still going to kill your friend because, hey - winners don't play by the rules!

Allow me to introduce myself, I am your host!

Oh, I had fun with them... and now I'll have fun with you... There's nothing wrong with having a little fun, is there?

Samantha, my darling, I don't think your friends are going to help you... I've already had a little fun with them...

Oh what a delight it was watching his life drain away. I wonder if watching yours will be just as fun.

(SAM: What do you want?) I just want a little fun, Sam... so why don't we... mix things up a little... You can have ten seconds to pretend like you're escaping... and then you're dead!

Go on, hide if you like... I know just where you are.

(CHRIS: What do you want from us?!) Well now, Mr Chris... I think you've got the answer right there in front of you.

Oh borrring... You think I didn't bulletproof my machinery?

(CHRIS: You're sick!) Heh heh heh... why thank you, kind sir... but the choice... is yours... play ball!

I'm sorry... so sorry... it's all my fault...

THE STRANGER

It would be wise for you to hear me out.

You seem to listen but not to hear.

You have no chance out there on your own- (CHRIS: I'll just have to take my chances.) Then I'll go with you. Alone would be suicide. (CHRIS: Yeah well you're so special.) I am... experienced.

You do not seem too concerned with saving the life of your friend.

(CHRIS: Have you done this before?) Have I foolishly attempted to free a dead man in the hopes of becoming one myself? (CHRIS: Uh...) You ask questions that are not very useful. (CHRIS: My teachers say the same thing. But yeah, so, have you?) This is not my first barbecue.

He who seeks avoidance finds out what he seeks to avoid. (CHRIS: That's... a really confusing saying.)

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts

the way joffrey still refers to sansa as his lady….him being almost impressed with her supposed cruelty towards dontos…the fact that we literally don’t see dontos again………cregan 0.5 omg

i love how much myrcella loves her uncle tyrion tbh i do think they capture the very weird lannister dynamic of only cersei & tywin being hostile to tyrion quite well hu giving him scenes where he’s just chillin w the little ones

i love this first convo between cersei & tyrion. tyrion is like, Almost trying to do a “it’s us against your problems cersei don’t you see i’m trying to help” but as always he is too sharp & sets her on edge & makes her fearful she’s about to be made powerless again when she just rid herself of robert. he tries to put her at ease, and you see her relax just slightly. also love how peter has clearly started getting a handle on the accent lmao the way he quickly drawls out “you love your children, it’s your one redeeming quality THAT AND YOUR CHEEKBONES” hilarious. love how tyrion can’t help but call cersei beautiful even when he’s annoyed with her.

BRAN LEARNING HOW TO RULE SCENE.

we really got two sex scenes back to back omg. this scene with ros was so stupid. i hate sexposition i think it’s so fucking lazy.

I LOVE THE RIVERLANDS KIDS I LOVE A GAGGLE OF RASCALS I LOVE ARYA SETTING UP HOT PIE FOR GENDRY AND GENDRY GOING FOR THE KILL SEAMLESSLY I LOVE THAT HOT PIE AND LOMMY LEAVE ALL HUFFY I LOVE ARYA FOLLOWING GENDRY AROUND AND BADGERING HIM AND HIS GIGGLE WHEN SHE PUSHES HIM I AM A GENDRYA TRUTHER they really did their big one casting the kids

can i say something about yara……i think gemma whalen was really miscast for this part

“You want me to have a god? Fine. King Stanis is my God. He raised me up I’m blessed me with his trust. He gave you a future I could never have imagined.  You know how to read. You’ll be at knight one day.  You think a fire god commanded all that? No, it was Stannis. Only Stannis.” <- WAIT WAIT WAIT. DAVOS KILLING STANNIS HIS GOD FOR BURNING SHIREEN CONFIRMED❓

changes i noticed

the way they only gave rakharo some characterization so dany could cry more about his murder is absolutely goddamn nauseating. they had the perfect opportunity to really dig into dany’s feelings in her khalasar and bloodriders specifically here and passed it up for cheap shock value murder. i’ve always found rakharo fascinating because of his devotion to dany - it goes so against the culture of the dothraki to be not just so dedicated to a woman but willingly subservient, and rakharo is not only fond of dany from the jump, he’s the only bloodrider who attempts to comfort her when she proclaims herself leader of the khalasar. i’ve always felt that like arys oakheart, he likely was raised with a mother who had some semblance of control & power and it made him predisposed to respect the backbone he sees in dany, to feel sorrow for her frustration at being forced to the dosh khaleen, and giving him that “you’ve never failed me before” “now would be a bad time to start” COULD have been something interesting wrt the dothraki and specifically irri & rakharo helping her release drogon in astapor and sack the city, and rule meereen but they waste it and elyes gabel’s amazing face and acting chops. annoying.

“i haven’t seen a girl in six months” once again. why must we make sam this horny.

and then following it up with my favorite sam line & the funniest delivery kit ever does aksjdj the way he goes “hello gilly. what are you doing sam” always kills me, and then following it up with “i can’t steal her she’s a person not a goat” that’s my baby!!! it’s so annoying that they adapt sam so badly but they get the sam/gilly dynamic down okay. he’s just like. the perfect person to be there for gilly, the perfect person to never give up in just trying to help her however he could.

theon is so pathetic lmao. i get some of the changes - big cast and all that - but i think cutting down theon’s journey on pike so he’s not dealing with the botleys & doesn’t get wex pyke makes the iron islands feel so much less real & lived in.

I know everyone hates on the change with joffrey ordering the killing of the bastards and not cersei BUT i think it’s fine, i get it even. they’re using it to show joffrey is escalating, not even cersei can control him, AND cersei will cover for him always. she looks unsettled when tyrion brings it up but she rationalizes it away and then turns the conversation back on tyrion. also-

THEY DESERVED AN EGOT FOR THESE ROLES!!!!!! GIVE THEM A PULITZER!!!!!

[stanheightis]

ok im done yellowjackets and i have a LOT of thoughts! (MAJOR YELLOWJACKETS SEASON 1&2 SPOILERS!!!!)

- why do yall hate travis sm?? like i KNOW he said some shit in s1 that was unfavourable, but hes not THAT BAD??? had me thinking he was gonna be evil NO!! hes a CHILD!!! on top of this, why is travnat like shunned in this fandom, i dont think its THAT bad, but im not their biggest fan

- i dont get the hype over lottienat.. 😓 i think its js cause i dont really like lottie that much and i LOVE nat like shes so me but i dont get it truly (i take it back lfmao, lottie is NAWTT my gal)

- JACKIE. FUCKING. TAYLOR. i love you, you died too soon queen rip ✊ jackieshauna u will always be famous

- I WILL BE A D1 SHAUNA DEFENDER IDCCC when i watched the first episode like last year i didnt rly like her WHAT WAS I DOING i love u shauna shipman u deserve BETTER.

- taivan… my beloveds taivan… you are too beautiful for this i love you so much taivan. doomed yuri at its finest

- i saw someone said travnat is just straightified toxic yuri and i cant unsee that lmfao

- do people hate callie??? if so, i will be her BIGGEST FAN IDCCCC im that entire families n1 defender ok like they deserve betterrrrr omfggggd like callie is just a teen!! shes a KID!!! she wanted to HELP!!!

- if this show ends up being a supernatural type show i might deadass drop it, like i think it would be SO much more interesting if it was psychological instead of supernatural

- LOTTIELEE!!!! lottielee my babies they were just the first 2 to go insane and found solace in each other and laura lee haunts lottie!! i am a sucker for haunting other characters

- what ben did was justified i understand him cuz i KNOW their asses were gonna eat him next

- okay i might be wrong but if they had actually been MOVING in one direction since the start of the show, they wouldve had to have found civilization by that point. ik theyre deep in the canadian wilderness but people still live somewhere up there/people wouldve been up there during summertime, they were bound to find SOMEONE but NO!! they stayed in one spot and resorted to eating each other. i dont wanna say its their fault but..

- this one might be a little controversial and contrary to my previous posts, but i found the adult storyline more entertaining a few times as opposed to the kids one.

- misty.. i have such mixed feelings on her, i dont think a character has ever pissed me off while simultaneously rootinf for her sometimes ever wtf what an amazinf character

- i think jeff was unironically the funniest character in the show soley due to his line delivery

- shauna going from protecting javi to having to be the one to cut him up 🙁

- actually, i think ill forever hold a grudge against all them (besides nat and shauna) for WATCHING JAVI DIE??? man fuck the opps fr

- ok i see people sayinf that 8 people survived the wilderness but whos the last like ks the 8 ppl thing fake?? cuz ik shauna, nat, misty, tai, van, lottie and travis all survived then whos the 8th?? (hoping its ben🙏)

- we need more confirmed sapphics

- last thing i think but whats up w tai and the “other one”?? cuz i looked up if it was DID, and it was confirmed no (rightfully so, that would be a HORRIBLE stereotype) but im so confused on what it COULD be 😭

- OKAY ONE LAST THING the alive ones always talk about “what they did” in the wilderness, and how they dont want the secret out, but was it actually confirmed on what it was?? cuz it doesnt rly make sense if it IS the cannibalism because i dont think people are that stupid, and probably just ASSUME thats what happened. is it the cult maybe?? it could be HOW they went on deciding who would be eaten next maybe, cuz thats probably not how others would decide??

- speakinf on the choosing scenes, both had me STRESSINGGG

[princehendir]

"he's a con artist who preys on mentally feeble old ladies. and he probably fucks them too" is still probably one of the funniest line deliveries ever

[polyhexian]

Murder drones pre-finale marathon begins. The new episode actually starts airing in two minutes but I wanted to wait until nightfall anyway. And also I want to be able to pause if like. I spill a drink or something. And my roommate left so now I have the house to myself. So it's time for a rewatch!!!

First thing is the same thing I always note when i watch the pilot again. It's incredible how MUCH the animation has improved over the last few years. And it was already great! I have also noted only the first episode has their eyes floating inside their visors rather than displayed on top, so when they turn their head to the side you can see both eyes. I definitely like the update.

The first episode also includes a lot of extra exaggerated subtle motion thats supposed to give it life but makes it look ever so slightly like motion capture rather than animation with intent behind it. The rigs improve so much along with the lipsync. And they were ALREADY good.

Tho, like future episodes, it can be a little too literally dark at times. That's why I want to watch it at night so badly; daytime screen glare really is a nuisance.

The humour is still perfect though. Absolutely incredible comedic timing. It's so SNAPPY and knows exactly how long to make a shot, how far to take a joke. And everyone's line delivery is positively incredible. Michael kovac is truly living for this role lol. He just sounds so delighted the entire time.

The score for MD is always great but they certainly have less diversity in episode one.

"sure. I love doing anything!" Is the single funniest line delivery I've ever heard in my life.

It's so funny seeing the v intro scene again because it's like. "Oh god, who are you?" Is so funny because. She can't see him. V knows exactly who he is because they've known each other forever. But she needs glasses lmfao. She's like oh god what the fuck who are you because he's a blob. Foreshadowing you don't know is foreshadowing!!

"I left an extremely dangerous we- excuse outside!" Fhjrjdjr

I love how n's legs look. They just have this extremely satisfying style the way they're designed. I actually like v and J's weird hips and legs but since there's only three murder drones anyway I think they should have given J something different. they fit V to a T but I think you could do something different for J that was more specifically her and offer some more design diversity! J should have feet. Maybe some smart Business Heels or something. Or, she's got kind of a very light gothic Lolita thing going on. Idk.

God I love when Khan abandons Uzi and even N is like damn that was fucked up wow.

Im hoping to get a bit of closure on this in the end but J's entire shtick is the whole business boss thing. But obviously we know now that earth has Exploded so. There isn't a company left sending orders. N notes SOMEONE was sending her orders and we know that was Cyn as Tessa and I suspect J does not know Tessa is Cyn, but technically that's not confirmed I think. But sort of. J's big ol business thing. I wonder if we may get further context on that personality trait.

It's VERY funny watching Doll in this episode like girl why ain't you doing anything

LOVE how N just picks her up like a cat and puts her on his shoulders. Just like it's nothing. Up you go, Uzi!

Love how the stinger at the end of uzi laughing maniacally about killing all humans never really comes to anything. Like it sets it up as if that's the plot, they're going to go attempt to do that. But no lol that's nothing

Next episode we go!

[jojotichakorn]

top 5 scenes from msp 🎀

i assume what you meant was "top 6 in two different categories", right? great. awesome. so!

we'll start with the more serious scenes:

this scene made me fundamentally fall in love with msp and tinn forever. no unnecessary drama, no miscommunication. just a brave boy telling the truth and being better at communicating than most adults i know.

ohhh i'm cheating! i know, i know. these scenes are giving very different vibes as well. but the way msp handled parents on both sides (especially with how different they are) is equally important to me. gun's mom being so wonderful and supportive and exactly as a mom should be, while tinn's mom apologises, admits her mistakes, and promises to do better. perfect, no notes.

i adore this scene for how simple and realistic it is. tinn and gun slowly getting to know each other, getting closer in the most mundane way possible /pos. this is what is at the core of this series, i think. real and beautiful relationships that you can imagine being in yourself.

win is gonna be stupid about them for a while, but this scene is a fundamental soundwin scene to me. and it shifted my opinion on sound so dramatically when i first watched it, i think it really shows his personality so well.

the closing scene with chinzhilla is so bittersweet and wonderful. i love friendship! and sound talking about how he fit in with everyone else so well and how the rest of the band welcomed him makes it all the more beautiful *wipes tear away*

i did a silly little umbrella drawing on this scene back when i was rewatching msp for the anniversary, because i just love it so much. tiw and tinn's friendship means the world to me, and tiw's unwavering support is so sweet. also! i got close to my very first best friend ever in grade 8 because i had a crush on a boy, and she was willing to listen to me rant about him and shipped the hell out of us. so it reminds me of that as well.

at its heart, msp is a comedy, so i absolutely must include my favourite comedic scenes as well:

any "tinn is being delusional about gun" scene is always on the borderline of funny and adorable, but i will put it here. my cringefail little guy, i love him so <3

tinn having the funniest break down on earth (+ tiw's expressions on the other end of the line) will never not be iconic.

we love a little bit of funny jealousy. and tiw's absolutely hilarious expressions, once again. tinn's acting partner literally has a girlfriend, gun, relax!

of course, shakespearean levels of jealousy is also one of those iconic, i-am-audibly-laughing scenes. i can hear that line in my mind at least three times a day.

drunk gun almost attacking jorn is both hilarious and very real. i also want to practice smacking him ngl.

this scene is genuinely everything to me. seeing what's going on in tinn's head is always fun, but this particular scene with fourth's hilarious delivery had me rolling on the floor. bye! *slides away with a blank expression*

we're having a sleepover, so you can send me anything

[bifurious-screams]

"I'm sorry, did he just say till the sweat drops down my balls?" Is one of the funniest lines and deliveries I've ever seen on television

[fantastickkay]

Album Review of the Week: Ke$ha - Animal (2010)

Kesha Sebert ushered in the 2010s in the most iconic way imaginable. By kicking down the doors and bringing mainstream pop to a whole new level! It took me a few years to get it, I have always been more of a Gaga girlie, but once I got it a few years later - I was obsessed!

We kick it off with probably the most radio friendly track on the album, Your Love Is My Drug. Lyrically, it is borderline as far as the radio goes but the structure of the whole thing is total radio material. I love the lyrics and vocal delivery of the verses, they go together so well and she is able to convey the desperation. Then, the chorus is explosive and worthy of blasting in your Jeep in the summer! At the end, we get a silly spoken word section that sort of introduces what you are in for with the rest of the album, NOTHIN' BUT SASS.

Track 2 is the big hit, Tik Tok. Ever since this song hit the scene, it has been a legendary party track. As with the previous song, it is perfectly structured for the mood it is going for. I hear it and long for my house party days!

Next, we have Take It Off. This is one of my favorites! The Streets of Cairo interpolation, the deep thumping synths that just inject right into your veins. I also love the lines 'I'm not the designated/driver so I don't give a' and 'Get my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the morning/but tonight I don't give a'. This song definitely echoes back to a long gone time in my life.

Our first deep track is Kiss N Tell. This song is so perfectly synthy and poppy and bouncy. The lyrics are a little juvenile but they do perfectly portray some aspects of partying because I definitely witnessed some bitter rivalries!

Stephen is a rare moment of vulnerability, although it still has all of the instrumentation that is very 80s video game and synthy. Even though it is a soft ballad, we still get a lot of sass and the lyrics are not what you might predict for this sort of song, making it fun to listen to.

Blah Blah Blah (featuring 3OH!3) is another one of my favorites. I love the disorienting intro with the layered vocals that are all over the place. Another great chorus for driving around with the windows down or jumping around at a party! It is also fun to see 3OH!3 involved as they were huge around this time as well in the same realm of crazy party music.

Hungover is another soft ballad set to heavy synths and striking drum beats. It is a unique breakup song in the way she isn't sure if she is really sad and missing the person, or if she's just plain hungover. It also shows another side to the party, when everyone is gone and you're just left with yourself. What happens then?

After recovering from that hangover, the tempo picks up as we head over to a Party At A Rich Dude's House. This one is a bit rockier than the rest so far, even has a guitar! Another fantastic chorus to get you in the party mood - so much fun!

Backstabber is a standout, again it has that cat-fight feeling, but it sounds so fun! The instrumentals are so energetic, the melody is fun and I love how her voice kinda slurs/fades out at the end of some lines. The production has been great this whole time, but it really stands out on this track.

Blind is a track that I do not often revisit unless I am listening to the album as a whole. I like how her voice sounds during the "you'll miss me till the day you die", other than that it is a pretty forgettable track in the midst of everything else.

Dinosaur is one of the funniest songs not performed by a novelty band. I absolutely love the crazy laughing bits and the lyrics are so cooky and playful. The overall sound isn't as nice as we have grown accustomed to, but that may be on purpose to play into the silliness of this particular tune.

Dancing With Tears in my eyes in another attempt to be deep while playing into the club image. While I appreciate the deviation from the usual heartbreak tune, it does get a little old especially since we seem to be going back and forth between vulnerable and party/silly vibes.

Back to the fun with Boots & Boys. This one is a fan favorite, as well as one of my own. It is always on my workout playlist! The melody of the verses is a lot of fun and we get that crazy cosmic stutter thing again.

We close out with the title track, Animal. This song is fine, but it is nothing too memorable for me. In interviews leading up to the album, Kesha said that she chose the album title because she wanted people to lose themselves in the music and let out their animal side and go crazy. I think the contrast of that message with the subdued song that snags the same title is interesting.

Overall, this is a legendary debut album chock full of bonafide party hits! Although the back and forth between moods gets to be a little much after a while, this album has stellar production and lyrics. A great performance!

[carinalastimosa]

20 Reasons Why I’m a J.Lo-ver

I love Jennifer Lopez. And let’s face it, she could use the love these days. Bennifer 2.0 has already come to an end, marking 20 years of one of the most documented Hollywood on again-off again romances so here are 20 reasons why I love her. From the highs to the lows, beauties and flaws, this is her then and this is her now. 

She made Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People list. If you’re not gonna believe me that Jennifer Lopez is amazing, take it up with Time.

She’s broken barriers within the romcom genre. I didn’t realize it when I was a child, but Jennifer Lopez was doing something exceptional within movies. She normalized headlining popular movies with huge box office success as a woman of color with movies like The Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan. Normalizing it, not only for me, but for mass audiences, that movies do not need to have white leads in order to equal success. And she continues to provide, breaking another barrier, proving that women in their 50’s can still be viable leads with movies like Shotgun Wedding and Marry Me.

She co-headlined one of the best Super Bowl Halftime performances. Do yourself a favor and watch the 2020 Super Bowl Halftime show headlined by Jennifer Lopez and Shakira. Just watch it and you'll see why it's one of the best.

She’s the reason why I bought a matching velour tracksuit as a teen in the 2000s. I’m sure there’s some photographic evidence of this in a photo album buried in my family’s home and it should stay that way. 

She’s the first perfume I’ve ever bought. Okay, I’m technically not the one who bought it. I basically pleaded with my mom at Macy’s to buy me Glow by Jennifer Lopez cause I wanted to smell just like J.Lo. 

She deserves to be Academy Award Nominee Jennifer Lopez. While 2019's Hustlers may have been her most noteworthy of performances to get considerable Oscar buzz, she's shown her range throughout her career with 1997's Selena, 1998's Out of Sight, and 2006's El Cantante.

She deserves to be Grammy Winner Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo has the hits. You know she does, don’t deny it. Ever heard of Jenny From The Block?” Of course you have, and you either hate or love yourself as you start to sing along to it whenever it comes on. Despite a 20+ career in the music industry, Lopez has only gathered 2 Grammy nominations.

She’s the first artist to have a movie and an album debut at #1. As part of showcasing her ability to do it all, she made history with the movie The Wedding Planner and album This Is Me… Then.

She was the reason behind the creation of Google Images. Go ahead and Google her 2000 red carpet appearance to the Grammys in the now iconic green Versace dress for old times' sake.

She’s a part of my favorite rotation of American Idol judges. Yes, there’s nothing quite like the spark of the initial trio of Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, and Randy Jackson but audiences did not give enough credit to the trio of Jennifer Lopez, Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban. I also think an American Idol reunion with Connick Jr. and Lopez would be the perfect romanic comedy.

She’s the definitive Selena. Netflix tried with their series on Selena Quintanilla in 2020 but it didn't come close to the 1997 movie and a lot of that was in thanks to the casting of Lopez.

She can deliver a line like no other. Not every Jennifer Lopez movie is a hit. There are some really bad ones out there and The Boy Next Door is one of them. It contains one of the most unintentionally funniest line deliveries ever. The said boy next door gives Lopez’s character, a high school teacher, a book. But not just any book, oh no, it’s the first edition of the Iliad. The ILIAD. An oral poem dating back from 3,000+ plus years ago, that was estimated to have finally been written out around 850-750 BCE. The way Lopez opens the book and utters, “Oh my god, this is a… this is a first edition?” is so earnest. That is capital A acting right there! It’s perfect. 

She’s learning Spanish just like us. Like myself, Jenny grew up only learning how to speak English and now, as an adult, is making valiant attempts at trying to learn Spanish. But being a public figure, she has to try and speak it publicly, while I can attempt to learn Tagalog in the comforts of my own home. 

She knows how to squeeze in some self- promotion while being patriotic. Lopez has no shame when it comes to promotion, especially when it comes to promoting herself. No one does celebrity quite as well as J.Lo. This was on full display for President Joe Biden’s inauguration when she was performed a medley of not just “This Land Is Your Land” and “America the Beautiful”, but added her song “Let’s Get Loud” into the mix because we got loud with our vote. 

She’s the original booty queen. Before Kim K., there was J.Lo and don't you ever forget it!

She’s given us our modern day Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton tabloid romance. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have already given us 20 years worth of tabloid fodder and I’m sure there’s more to come. While Ben and Jen have gotten together twice already, they’ve only been married once. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton got married twice so the ball is still in your court Bennifer. 

She’s a hard worker. This may be what has drawn me to Jennifer Lopez for all these years. She’s a hard worker. She is someone who has to show you the work to show you that it amounts to something. As long as you work hard, you’re special, right? We may not have been destined or gifted with the vocation we’ve chosen, but we’re going to work hard in order to make it work. Lopez has made it work, but it’s work. What has made some of the greats great onscreen is that you don’t see the work. It’s effortless. Jennifer Lopez is a star, and she still has what I believe to be several more decades left of entertaining us. I hope she doesn’t have to work so hard to show us that and for us to finally embrace her as she is.

She gave us 3 iterations of This Is Me… Now. As she says in the behind the scenes documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told, of her album This Is Me… Now, “It's not like anybody was clamoring for the next J. Lo record, you know what I mean?” and yet she gave us 3 different projects surrounding said record. The record itself, a play on her album, This Is Me… Then, released about 20 years later in which she finds herself again with Ben Affleck. A don’t call it a music video, so a music journey with moving pictures using songs from the album to create a loose narrative. And a behind the scenes making of the record/not music video. And guess what, unlike most of the public, I consumed and loved all of it! 

She loves her children. While we cannot believe everything someone posts on social media, as it’s crafted for us to think a certain way about their lives, I choose to believe that Lopez really is an awesome, loving, supporting, and caring mom. 

She believes in love. ❤️