#this is not what a supportive partner does

[sometimesraven]

Also you can not support porn while recognising its legality is important to the lives and safety of not only sex workers but also trafficking and revenge porn victims.

Also also if you think *all* porn is racist misogynistic and paedophillic I'm going to kindly ask you to stop browsing the frontpage of Pornhub bc wym??? Did you forget there are thousands of amateur porn artists who are trans, female, PoC, etc and work completely off their own back? Porn made by queer people for queer people? Porn made by women for women? Porn made by gay men for gay men? It exists in abundance and will continue to do so whether it's legal or not.

Not to mention that things like sending erotic imagery of yourself to your consenting life partner who you are married to also comes under the definition of porn. And where does it stop? Written, drawn or animated media can be porn. Someone taking a lewd or suggestive selfie could be considered porn. We've already seen in the UK that they didn't stop at just banning the production of porn, they then banned specific kinks from even being consumed on the basis of it being "grossly offensive, disgusting, or otherwise of an obscene character". As in, anything the government decided was gross. So that means not just BDSM, but also shit like piss play.

When you allow the illegality of things based on it being "obscene" or "disgusting", that gives the government power to ban literally anything they want as long as they have a good enough argument that it's gross. Like I dunno, homosexuality?

Oh, look at that. Element 3b in the list of "obscene" porn categories:

"An act which results in or is likely to result in serious injury to a person’s anus, breast or genitals"

That means under this particular law (Section 63 of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 for those interested) anyone who engages in anal sex could reasonably be prosecuted for it. Which would disproportionately affect gay men and other queer people.

Now fortunately those laws were relaxed in 2019 and as it's down to individual judges what counts, these persecutions largely didn't happen (that we know of). But if porn were outright illegal the public sense of what is and isn't "acceptable" would change. Obviously it would, you want that right?

Except once the patriarchal systems can't blame porn for the high number of rape cases and sexual hate crimes, but the number of cases doesn't reduce or even increases (given that now even consenting women would be persecuted under anti-pornography laws), what would they then turn to?

In the UK we have a habit of banning things outright rather than addressing the root cause of the issues stemming from those things. We see it with, for example, modes of transport we decide are "a nuisance". A new mode of personal transport gets invented (electric bicycles, hoverboards, etc) and incidents happen because of people using them in the street. Instead of realising the infrastructure is lacking and forcing people using these modes of transport to use them on the sidewalk, we banned the use of them on the sidewalk. Since using them on the roads isn't safe, most people stop using them. Then another invention comes around, rinse, repeat.

This is relevant because if porn is illegal it's not going to be tackling the root of issues in the porn industry -- that is: sexism, transphobia, racism and paedophilia. Those are societal issues which, as @absolxguardian aptly pointed out, are present in all media. So naturally as rape and sexual hate crimes doesn't decrease, the UK's previous actions show that they would most likely then turn to the aforementioned "obscene" sexual acts. Which has actually happened to a point -- our assault and sexual violence laws do not recognise consent as a defense. It specifically states that "a person cannot consent to actual bodily harm". Actual Bodily Harm as a legal term in the UK is literally anything that causes pain or discomfort, which has driven most BDSM clubs and practitioners underground.

This was done to protect women against the defense of consent in rape and assault cases, which sounds reasonable until you realise a) adults consent to pain/discomfort literally all the time, it's called tattoos and piercings and fucking gyno. b) literally anyone could mark another person during sex by accident. If someone were assaulting you, might you not claw, bite and punch your way out of it? What happens to you then, if the person who did it claims consent and didn't leave a mark on you? What if you were in an abusive relationship and your partner consented to or even coerced you into marking them during sex? That person then has grounds to press legal charges against you if you try to leave them or otherwise piss them off.

Not to mention that again, this assumes it's "rough sex" that's enabling this kind of defense, and not the judge and jury who decides these people are innocent and the rape culture that emboldens them.

And who is disproportionately affected by this kind of law? I'll give you three guesses.

Anti Sadomasochism and "obscene" sex laws have been tied to homophobia for about as long as they've existed. In the 80s there was a nationwide investigation that led to many gay men being interrogated and persecuted for sadomasochism. Coincidentally (/sarcasm) Section 28 was passed in 1988, and although homosexuality itself was partially "decriminalised", in 1989 consensual gay sex made up a huge percentage of the persecutions under "gross indecency".

All of that to say that finding something gross, or shocking is never grounds to legally censor it.

But maybe you don't care about gay men. Maybe you don't care about BDSM practitioners or other kinksters. You still want to see it all banned.

Imagine, then, a scenario where all of this happens but it's not gay people or BDSM they turn their sights to. Imagine they ban porn for all the "right" reasons. Let's say they, just as you do @progressofthepilgrim, cite misogyny as the main problem with porn and ban it for that reason.

Porn goes away. Misogyny does not. They then turn to the statistics to figure out what else is perpetuating sexual violence because again, they are misogynists pretending to be protecting women, so they will never look at themselves or the society they perpetuate first. They will look for some other perpetrator.

What's to stop them turning to a racial or religious minority? There are already stereotypes that black people are disproportionately violent, what's to stop the government going and raiding their houses and interrogating them about their sex lives the way they did with the gays?

Or, to put this specifically in the lense of your personal interests: what if they turned to the Church? You're pentecostal, I see by your bio, and I know this is a Protestant denomination, so perhaps you believe the Catholic Church should also be banned for its large number of sexual assault and paedophilia cases that never seem to end? For its misogynist and sexist denominations that demand women be subservient?

What, then, if I told you that sexual assault is also prevelant in the Protestant churches? As Protestant churches outnumber Catholic ones, it would be easy for them to cover it up for longer. Do we then ban Protestants too despite y'all being outwardly more progressive? Where does it end? Do you really trust your government or mine to uphold these laws fairly? After everything they've already done to women and minorities?

I'm not telling you to like porn. Or even to support sex workers ideologically. Fuck, I hate most mainstream porn, I agree the mass-produced frontpage stuff is fucking disgusting in any category.

But you have to understand that the outright legal ban of sexual expression cannot ever be a good thing in the society we live in. You can believe porn is inherently evil, whatever, that's your right as a person with opinions. But at some point you have to stop patching up cracks and notice the huge, gaping hole at the top of them. Problematic porn is a small symptom of an enourmous problem and banning it will only give that problem more room to grow. The patriarchal and colonial powers that be want people like us to be focused so much on the easy to hate so they can keep getting away with it themselves. They want you to focus on the fruitflies so that you never have time to throw out the rotten fruit.

Puritanism is getting worse around the globe and conservatives and fascists will absolutely be first going harder against porn, then use that against queer people. You HAVE to realise this and oppose anti porn measures and laws, be in solidarity with sex workers, and listen to them when they call this shit out. It's going to be vitally important.

[jackiepackiee]

Telemachus SFW Alphabet

an- some are way longer than others, but I didn’t have ideas for some… sorry!!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Being a prince, Telemachus has an important image to hold. Especially with the suitors around, he wants to be seen as strong. So he keeps the affection in closed doors. There are a lot of ways this could go.

With the suitors on a normal day he will simply walk with you. Knowing it’s best to just stay normal for avoid any comments.

If (and when) the suitors get snappy or make comments he’ll hold your hand to quickly pull you out of the situation. He’d fight, but his top priority is you being away from danger

So if it’s just you two, in his room, he’ll do very comforting acts of affection. Back rubs, playing with your hair, forehead kisses, holding your hand and rubbing your hand with his thumb. Sure, he’s a soft guy, but he’s a prince who likes feel like he’s protecting you.

Now, when Odysseus gets back he’s much more affectionate. Seeing how his dad treats his mom, he does the same for you. Like a mini Odysseus, copying all the loving things he does for his wife.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Lots of sneaking around and sharing secrets like kids. He would be the most supportive person you’ve ever met, lending you a hand in every way possible for all you want.

He’d love to train near you, he’d never want to spar or anything of the like in fear of hurting you. But you’d both spend afternoons in the courtyard with you petting his dog and him swinging his sword at a dummy you built of cloth and wool.

Your friendship could’ve started a multitude of a ways, he’d a kind person so it’s unlikely he’d turn down any genuine offers of friendship.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Certified lover boy is a fan of cuddling. His favorite being these three

He loves the “honeymoon hug” your face in his chest or his in yours. He loves being able to hear your heartbeat and know you’re with him. When you’re in his chest he’s as ease knowing you’re safe from the world around you

The “half spoon” is a close second, both for when you’re lazy after a long day and unable to energize yourself for more than simple conversation. Your calmest moments are spent here

When he’s in your lap he feels the world melt around him and is surrounded by you. When you’re in his lap he plays with your hair. Either way, in this position he’ll talk for hours about anything you want. Smiling at your with a lovestruck expression

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

You “dating” is you courting and it’s practically guaranteed your marriage will follow. He’s a royal, and it’s expected of him to be married. It’s not that he doesn’t want that though! He’s very excited to get married, even offering to send ships to fetch the best seamstresses to make your wedding attire

But… your marriage will wait until Odysseus returns. He can’t imagine such a large part of his life without his father, and he wants him to meet you. Knowing his family is complete is all he wants.

As for cooking and cleaning? Don’t worry, he has servants and your hand and foot if you so wish for them to do anything. He’s not a great cook…

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

…that’s not happening. Just like his dad he is loyal until death, and he’d escape the underworld to see you again if he had to

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

You’re both getting married, and you’ll become apart of Ithaca’s royal family like I said before, it’s going to wait until Odysseus is back so he can witness your marriage.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically he touches you as if you’ll break. Only a few times he’s truly used his strength. The first time he truly touched you was when his dad returned. He was so overwhelmed from both you being safe and him family being complete that he practically lunged at you in a hug. Other than that, it’s soft pats and gentle hand holding

Emotionally he has a gentle soul. Despite being a fierce and dangerous warrior of Athena, he is always looking for the good in the world. And he sees the good in your heart. His first priority is your wellbeing, so he’ll do anything to make you happy. No yelling at disagreements, no overly rude teasing, only compliments and soft comments when you get embarrassed at kisses

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

One of his favorite things to do is hug, it serves two purposes in your relationship

Either he feels at ease knowing you’re in his arms, he’s keeping you safe and the world around you won’t reach you as long as he’s around

Or he just needs a minute to rest and you’re a sanctuary for him. Giving him the affection he so desperately needs

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Two months into the relationship is when he says I love you

It’s no heated and crazy confession, but instead a cute and shy one that he plans. Secret is he’s loved you from the beginning, but he hasn’t been able to express it

He gives you an apple (a sign of love to do with Aphrodite) and stammers out the three words, looking at you as if you hung the stars in the sky

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s not that jealous, but it not impossible for him to be. While he may be shy, he’s doesn’t doubt you love and knows you’re loyal to him so he doesn’t worry

Although, if another prince tries to woo you, he gets mildly frustrated. In this case he’ll tell them to leave his kingdom, and that you’ve already taken your home with him

He wouldn’t fight the princes he gets jealous of, that would be stupid and reckless. Instead he proves to them you aren’t leaving by passive aggressive words (Athena taught him)

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are like the touch of sun when it meets the mountains of Ithaca in the early morning. Soft, gentle, and full of love

His favorite places to kiss you are your forehead, cheek, and the crown of your head since it’s very affectionate

His favorite places to be kissed are his lips, knuckles, and shoulders. He’s very ticklish so if you kiss him anywhere below his jaw he’ll giggle

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Seeing him around kids makes you want children so so badly. With babies he’ll hold them in his arms, always sitting so he doesn’t risk dropping them. His cooing is adorable, always him and the baby giggling at the infants meaningless babble

With older children he’s playful, and it’s not crazy for when you two visit the market for him to be swarmed by 8 year olds who climb him like a tower

He has the cutest smile around kids, and he would be an amazing father (it’s all he wants)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’s a morning person, always waking before you. Half mornings you’ll wake up to him staring at you with this sickeningly lovestruck smile. He’ll nuzzle his cold nose into your neck and laugh when you whine at him for 5 more minutes

Sometimes though, after your late night sneak outs when you sleep in, Penelope and Odysseus will come in early just to see their son and his lover so peaceful. Smiling as proud parents (if Telemachus knew this the blush on his face would be permanent)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Lazy cuddling, with you in his arms while he dotes on you. You kissing his bruises he got from training in days prior while he is too tired to blush so he just embraces your love

He likes to let the moonlight into his room so he can still see your face in the dark night right before he falls asleep

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

A bit sad but one night everything just kind of comes out. He’s upset and looks to you for comfort, spilling all his heartbreak to you. This isn’t a time thing, but rather based on what happens in the events of the day. He trusts you with his life when you get together, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked for your hand in the first place. But his true feelings are like a tidal wave

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

With you? He’s only gotten slightly frustrated with you a handful of times. A few grumbled sentences before he sees your upset (sad or mad) expression and hated it so much he all together lost his aggravation and apologized

In general he’s docile, not wanting to start anything with anyone for no reason. But as we see with the suitors, he doesn’t take rudeness lightly and is willing to fight back, just not with you

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?)

Everything you mention about yourself he remembers

Every reaction you have, such as a slightly disgusted face at a food or a smile at a certain compliment, he remembers

Every piece of advice he gets about you from his mother, Athena, and eventually his father, he remembers

He is whipped for you, and wants to know any and everything there is to know about you

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

A bit NSFW… (he’s 20, it’s okay 🫡)

After your first time together (and his in general) when you’re sleeping against his chest. He can feel everything, your soft skin on his, gentle lips still ghosting over his in memory, breaths leaving and igniting in your chest.

He never felt more in love, knowing he could trust you completely and you’re both each other’s everything

Seeing you be so vulnerable with him, trusting him, leaves his heart running fast

Not his favorite for physical, selfish reasons. But instead his favorite because he knew in that moment you’re there and forever will be

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

When the suitors are still in his home he is incredibly protective. Now he’s no idiot, and knows fighting the suitors for you isn’t ideal. He’d hate to see you upset at him being hurt, and no way he’d win in a fist fight against a group of grown men. So his protection is more planned out. Sneaking you around, never letting you around without him or a guard. Of course you’re free to do as you please. But he’s nervous

If it came to it though? Be it a threat to you, a comment on your honor, or someone gets too close he will fight. With his anger he’ll have a fighting chance

When Odysseus is home he’s much more calm. Knowing he and his father will care for you. (Odysseus is willing to kill for you, you’re part of the family now and anyone his son cares for he cares for)

He’ll still make sure you’re in someone’s protection though

As for himself? He just tells you not to worry… he wants to be able to get strong and needs to experience danger to grow

Though if you pet his hair after a fight, praising him for his effort? He’s melting like putty in your hand

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He will buy ANYTHING you want, spend as much time with you as possible

Dates consist of sneaking out of the palace to the gardens to pluck flowers and fresh fruit or mountains to watch the waves hug the shore. You’ll share soft kisses. You go on dates at night, liking the solidarity. Little do you know Penelope and Odysseus are always watching and smiling at their son so in love…

On anniversaries he’ll take you sailing, walk you through your soon to be kingdom, and finish the night off with a gift. It’s always something insanely expensive, and he just shrugs

“Expensive? Don’t worry about the price, it’s for you!”

He’s royalty, he has sheep to bargain and gold to trade for the finest luxury for you, so what if he’s a little oblivious to the material world?

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Idealism - Telemachus tries to see the best in every situation, and it can be hard for him to know what is realistic. Especially going into being king, he needs to learn how to be realistic and not stuck in fantasy

Anxiety - He’s overly protective of you, suitors there or dead. It doesn’t matter, even since he’s known such a great threat he doesn’t let the people close to him near anyone he doesn’t trust

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not too concerned with his appearance in terms of vanity. He wants to look clean, and he is. Being a prince he’s usually dressed nicely, with gold pieces adorning him. But he doesn’t put effort into his “handsome,” as Penelope calls it, face or anything of the sort. He focuses on being strong and naturally gains a lean and muscular build

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

110%, Tele is very family oriented and you’re his family now. He spent a lifetime without his father, and everyone he holds in his heart can’t leave like that again or he’ll break. The longest he can take is a few weeks when he has to leave the island for royal issues

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He’s adored music ever since he was kid. Singing, instruments, anything to do with art. But he can’t for the life of him play the lyre. If the string wasn’t so tough Penelope swears the lyre would’ve snapped when a young Telemachus tried to strum a tune

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Disloyalty - He’s not asking for blood sweat and tears, all he wants is one person to stay by his side of the rest of his life. He’ll never get with someone who betrays someone without good reason, even if it was just a friend or acquaintance. Loyalty is important to him!

Apathy - He believes every person should feel strongly for something. After all, it’s love that pushed his father to survive and his admiration of his father/protection of his mother that made him want to be a hero. He couldn’t be with someone who didn’t care about at least a few things strongly

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

It’s a bit different depending on the situation. In most cases it’s you two cuddling with his dog at the foot of your bed

Suitors (normal day) he’ll sleep lightly. Chest rising with a steady rhythm that puts you to sleep in minutes. He wakes up in the middle of the night at least twice a week. He’ll check over the room to see everything is fine before he drifts off again

Suitors (after a fight) he’ll be on edge. Coddling you as if to reassure himself you’re okay. Sometimes he’ll leave you for a few minutes to check his mother’s room to see if she’s okay. On the worst nights, after a scary interaction, you’ll both go to Penelope’s room. Her petting your heads until you both drift off

Without his dad he spends some nights awake. You in his arms, or without, he’ll stare at the ceiling and just think. Think about any and everything to do with his life and the lives of those around him. It’s best you stay asleep, he finds comfort in sleeping you so peaceful

After Odysseus returns this poor boy sleeps like a rock. Arms cradling you as if he’s awake while in reality the gods themselves could shake the earth and he’d be less the wiser. No snoring, only soft breaths and cute little mumbles when he first falls asleep. In the morning he’ll recount all his wild dreams to you in detail.

[bohemianblasphemy]

Dean Winchester with a reader who needs time to upen up, especially with physical intimacy? ✨🤭 Like reader has some bad experiences and is kinda self conscious abt her body? <3

Here’s some headcanons lovely anon! <3

A/N: requests are open <3 ✨

As we know Dean is someone who loves… intimacy. A favourite past time of his.

When it comes to his partner who needs time to open up to being physical with him, there are no questions asked- your comfort is his priority and will never want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.

You would open up to him about your experiences, the way you view your body and Dean sits and listens to you. He wouldn’t show it too much but it makes his heart hurt to know that you were hurt in the past.

He thinks the absolute world of you and wants to make you feel loved and safe around him 😭

He is eternally grateful that you have spoken to him about what’s happened and how you feel, wanting you to know that he is actively supporting you, just an overall understanding of what you’re going through.

When you come to him and asking to take things a step further with him, his brain goes into overdrive - thinking about everything and asking so many questions about what you want, how you want him to do things.

He wants the experience to be perfect for you- nothing short of it.

he’d be so gentle, continuously checking in to ask if you’re okay, if he could touch you and listening intently to your sounds and how you react to his actions.

“Can I touch you?” “Does this feel good sweetheart? Want me to keep going?”

The absolute worship he’d give you??? Oh my G O D

Aftercare would be heavenly,

Hes just so in awe of you and how beautiful you look and feel, he just treasures you and loves you so damn much

[nyxelestia]

Tacking onto all of this, I do find it off-putting that a lot of fics ignore that he had a life before HYDRA and before the war. It only ever seems to come up in relation to Steve but not his own sense of self.

If he is going to define himself by consumer choices, why not explore what it means that he actually does have a sense of self within that paradigm...but all the things he wants to choose for himself are gone, lost to the passage of time? Why is his sense of self and identity less valid just because the ravages of time and capitalism have rendered all his preferences and choices unavailable? Is he really free to define himself if his options are limited to what is available today, but do not include what feels true to him and his live experiences?

I will add that I also suspect a lot of these fics are being heavily informed and biased by the personal experiences of the community that they were written by and for. In short, this community has way more survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence that it has survivors of war and multigenerational poverty, and it shows. The way fandom in general tends to understand and write PTSD has less to do with war -- even the specifically American military-industrial version of it -- and more in common with surviving abuse.

I think some of that is an understandable product of the story. Most survivors of war and soldiers with PTSD were not in a long-term, on-going psychological manipulation that systematically and intentionally deconstructed their sense of self; yet that description, while extreme, is very applicable to what it feels like to be in and escape from an abusive relationships (whether a family dynamic or an intimate partner relationship).

There are many significant differences between "abuse/assault survivor PTSD" vs "war/external conflict PTSD," but I think one of the most relevant differences is the nature of the cause of trauma denying victims autonomy, agency, and self-determination.

This may not be easy to see at first because the military is so conformist. Everyone has the same uniform, code of conduct, and often the exact same lifestyle or schedule. But that's relatively superficial; it's almost a stereotype that as soon as soldiers with their first military paychecks get off base for the first time, they make a lot of bad but self-determining purchases like fancy cars and high-end consumer electronics. One of the reasons why the military as an institution is so enduring is because after this initial period of intense conformity and trauma, it's often a path of self-determination (or at least marketed as such): loans for housing, support for education, multiple career paths, etc. (The flipside being, of course, that the military can just as easily lock you into a career you don't want, or the trauma from it can make achieving any semblance of life after violence anywhere from difficult to impossible.) Meanwhile, abusive families and relationships are often exactly the opposite: superficially giving victims all the freedom in the world or only very few restrictions (at least as compared to the military), yet in practice locking victims into a specific lifestyle or path preferred by the abuser.

This manifests in the way a lot of fanfic authors write Bucky recovering from the Winter Soldier ordeal. He exercises a lot of autonomy and agency in his superficial consumer choices, yet often exercises very little real agency in the course of his life. Either he remains a superhero / supersoldier of some variety, or he has to take the extreme measure of completely dropping off the grid (and out of public eye, and often well away from everyone else in the world) to achieve any sense of peace.

A lot of Bucky Recovery fics don't really feel like a traumatized veteran or even traumatized abuse survivor moving on with their life or recovering anything significant. Instead, they have the same vibes as a military fresh recruit making dumb high-interest big purchases off-base while rushing back to base in time for PT, or someone in an abusive relationship celebrating a fancy haircut their partner likes while putting their education and career on hold for said partner. A lot of these fics feel like they make Bucky celebrate superficial appearances of autonomy and agency to obfuscate just how little self-determination he really has even after escaping HYDRA.

In a weird way, this feels like an apt metaphor not for the character but for the authors. Much like Bucky post-Winter Soldier, they cannot fathom a life of true independence from capitalism, and so envision the closest thing to it they can imagine while still remaining under the umbrella of capitalism and calling that freedom.

I am still pretty buried in work, but dropping in to comment on a trope I’ve seen popping up again and again in CA: TWS fic, which is: the horror and totality of Bucky’s deconstruction as a person is shown through the revelation that he doesn’t know what [food, clothes, music, coffee, etc] he likes, and a significant part of his reconstruction involves correcting this. 

This is very attractive trope. I enjoy reading it! But I want to turn a critical eye on it, and on my own enjoyment of it. This will surprise no one who’s been reading my blog for a long time, since I’m persistently and heavily critical of the selfist/consumerist ideology that underlies Western capitalist society. And that’s what’s going on here, really, I think: this trope is an expression of our understanding of what it means to be a person, and our anxieties about person-ness.

Keep reading

[jovieinramshackle]

I always try to not be shy about the fact Pio does not pass as a man at all, and that he is in a situation where he cannot take the steps to do so (medically transitioning basically)— not just financially, but mentally too.

He hates his chest, his private parts and the fact they cause hin extreme dysphoria once a month from his period, his voice is audibly feminine, he even has very "soft feminine" features, he is often mistaken for a butch woman and misgendered a lot (he's also very anxious about correcting people, since he's afraid of how they'll react).

And I feel it's important from me to showcase these features, because they’re part of a realty many transmasc/guys/men like me go through.

The thing about Pio is that he has an extremely hard time believing he's a "real man". Almost everything in his life is an active reminder that society does not see him as a man, and he has internalised it. He is happy the people close to him (his father, Chris and his family) confirm they see him as a man, but he has a hard time genuinely believing they actually do, because he can't possibly say the same about himself.

He's on the verge of giving up sometimes, to detransition, to go back being [REDACTED] and be a woman again. He thinks it will make life easier. After all, it'll be easier to socialise, talk to people, and even find a partner. Pio is gay after all, but what gay man would love a "woman," right? Straight men must be his only option, right?

But it won't be easier, it will outright kill.

And this is why his relationship with Fellow is so crucial to him. For all his faults, the fox did one very important thing right in the relationship— love Pio for the man that he is.

Fellow didn't always have the right words, but he knew words weren't really gonna help such a dysphoric person like Pio. The constant and consistent love and support over time was what made Pio realise how genuine Fellow was with him.

Intimacy felt less uncomfortable, it actually became enjoyable. He could actually bare his features, even if a little. He actually grow to like his voice a little, even if he's fine with it changing. Everything just became a little easier when he was with Fellow, he could actually see himself as desirable, to an other queer man no less.

He began thinking that perhaps he is a man, regardless of everything. This reduction of his dysphoria was what made him more motivated to seek medical transition later one, as he finally could think to himself, "this isn't pointless." He realised nothing can stop him from being the man that he is.

Even after their falling out during their work in Playful Land, Pio still had this drive in him. He went back to his father and started working, slowly saving up to seek a way to get his hands on HRT. And although he has a long way to go, he is for once finally determined to do what he must do for his well being.

He kinda spiralled for a while because of the falling out. He even began relying on alcohol for a bit. But this new profound drive carried him every day and kept him alive.

So basically, as angry as he is with Fellow, he will always be grateful for all the genuine love and desire he was given. It, quite literally, saved his life.

So yeah ofc they make up in the end, what did you expect, to not give them a happy ending? Poser./j

@sunnysidesevenup @theolivetree123 tagging you two cuz...Pio Lore....heh....<3

tag list : @ramshacklerumble @thehollowwriter @summerspook @scint1llat3 @skriblee-ksk

@cyanide-latte @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @oya-oya-okay @viperbunnies @jadelover69

@twsted-void @lallopsyou (lmk/dm if you wanna be added)

[nerdishpursuits]

Sayeth others what they will, I am really enjoying the show. Santiago's face at Pelayo's betrayal is a poem. So was Marta's trying to deny the allegations. Santiago: She's an invert

Marta: Excuse this poor, uneducated man. The linguistic complexities of the Thesaurus Dex are lost on him. What he means is Introvert.

All in all I'm glad Santiago's demise happens the way it does. Karmic justice prevailed in a way that stings worse for him, I think. He bit off more than he could chew, filled with self-importance and secure in his triumph over Marta. Having counted on Pelayo to back him up only to discover he's free-falling, no safety net in sight? Oh, how the turns have tabled, as @midniteowlet loves to say. Could be we have not seen the last of him, though. Alas, mediocre men? Ever their cup overfloweth with confidence. Santiago vowing vengeance even as he's being dragged away by the Civil Guard? Someone failed to understand the assignment, or asses the situation. Damian reaching out to hold Marta's hand as a vow of support and loyalty? Be still my heart, they've come SO far. In my humble opinion, the growth of their relationship has been one of the best written character arcs on the show. Marta & Damian: Dairy? What dairy? He's obviously trying to milk this lie for all it's worth

Santiago: Diary ... D I A R Y

Pelayo: someone take him out to pasture … the inmates work at the dairy farm, across town

As for Pelayo himself. So far, a pleasant surprise, albeit he largely remains an unknown. He signs the business deal without making a fuss. He returns Marta's diary to her, tells her he's not read it and advises her to get rid of it, informs her his reasons for helping her are his own and that he won't ask for favors, especially given men don't count among her tastes? Well. He's been a gentleman so far, noble and altruistic. Remains to be seen if he remains one. It would seem, tomorrow's preview corroborates the theory that Pelayo flies the Rainbow flag too. His 'I prefer to form my own opinions about people ... especially people like the both of us who don't fit the social mores' ... it appears he's confessing something personal to Marta, something that might level out the playing field between them. To me it looks like he's out to gain her trust. For what purpose? Now that's the question.

If he's to become this show's Harry Cameron? I'm not opposed. Marta needs more allies and here's to hoping, as the show progresses, these two end up having a beautiful friendship. It really would be Marta hitting the jackpot in 1958: a sympathetic husband / best friend who ended up accepting her for who she was and a gay business partner / friend. Let's see where it all goes. Presently, he’s definitely trying to curry favour with Marta. For what reason, has yet to be determined. I will say? I am not liking Carmen at all these days. She acts like Tasio's mom, not his wife, as if he were incapable of making his own decisions. She's judging Marta as if she were a stranger and removes any and all accountability from Tasio. I keep repeating myself, but one questionable decision does not a questionable person make. Carmen being such a hot-head about this, while befitting her volcanic personality, is rather disappointing. I know she'll reconsider, but to think Marta is trying to buy Tasio's silence by ceding part of her shares in the company is ludicrous. Marta has always appreciated and supported Carmen within the company, and Carmen has had a front-row seat in witnessing Marta's fairness and kindness, her struggles and triumphs. I really need Fina to talk some sense into her. Volcano vs. Volcano. That ought to be a sight. Might I also hope Marta gives Fina the diary to read before she disposes of it? That they have a heartwarming conversation about it, growing even closer in their love, taking their intimacy to new heights? Because dispose of it she will, I think: sadly, it’s a smoking gun they can't afford.

Short rant long? Alright novelita. Lead the way. Let’s see what else you’ve got in store.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Sorry my English isn’t great but Can we have more thoughts on Syd & Carm and sex? How do you think they would both go about interacting with it and each other if we ever got a scene of them like that? (Which I don’t think we will but one can hope 😭)

Don't apologize! Fun fact- I used to write E fanfiction, but nothing for sydcarmy (yet maybe in the future)

But if we're talking cannon: it would happen in the daylight similar to the table scene. Morning after and just the beginning. There wouldn't be anxiousness from Carmy in the morning or showing Carmy's mind somewhere else. He's very present with Sydney and always aware of where she's at. She takes space in his head anyway - so sex would be all about her pleasure and strong eye contact.

You know what would be great for me? They don't even have to show explicity sex, show me the morning after Sydney has spent the night and Carmy is ready to go down on her- she's the first thing on his mind in the morning and she's in bed- with him, post sex? Yeah, he's not wasting a moment.

After all, it’s FX—it's an MA-rated show, so we already expect explicit love scenes and how they will be portrayed. Give us a good surprise! They've already shown explicit positions of certain characters, so why not illustrate how things are different this time?

Here are my thoughts on Sydney and Carmy: it's a popular belief that Sydney is the dominant one, I think Carmy actually holds a more dominant role in bed, at least at first. There’s a suggestion that in the end, Sydney will always have emotional power over him; she has his heart in her hands and ultimately calls the shots when it comes to the core of their relationship.

I think based on the show- Sydney has a praise kink, but it seems to be specific to Carmy. She pokes fun at Marcus in the show when he gives her praise. But Carmy gives her praise? She melts. So imagine Carmy giving her so much praise during sex?

Their relationship shows how Carmy pulls vulnerability out of her when he reads her. Being a dominant partner is a skill; it helps the more submissive partner switch off their racing thoughts and open up. For the submissive partner to really let go, they’ve got to trust that their dom will catch them if they fall. If the dom doesn’t support them, that’s when problems come up.

Sydney and Carmy play these roles on the show, dont they? and it's a challenge. Carmy is working on being someone Sydney can rely on to catch her when she falls, and for Sydney, she knows how scary it is to completely give in. When Carmy is confident enough, he reassures her by saying things like, “I won’t let you” showing that he’s up for the challenge and ready to give her what she needs. He's ready to care for her because she cares for so many people- so wouldn't it be nice for her for someone to take care of her? To make her happy and satisfied?

For Carmy, stepping into the dom role is great practice. He wasn't really feeling it when Claire was leading the chase; she lead the getting his number, in their private scene notice she's the one leading the questions to get to know him more, she's the one in the morning telling him "everything is fine" the morning after- Claire is the one on top of him while Carmy sits up at night.

Carmy wants to build enough confidence to take charge himself with Sydney, and after she gives over, he looks to Sydney for a bit of reassurance, asking her if she liked what happened. He’ll gently ask her to share what she enjoys and what doesn’t work for her - Carmy is the one who leads with questions.

Even if Carmy is the dominant one, Sydney won't make it easy for him. She doesn't make it easy for him anyway, and he deserves to be questioned and challenged as she does in canon.

[earthlybeam]

Just some random headcanons i think that fit Glorfindel (my opinion)

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Glorfindel version below.

☀️𝓖𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓵

What's their love language? Glorfindel’s love language is profoundly intertwined with physical touch and acts of service. He is a being of quiet depth and warmth, and for him, love is best expressed through meaningful, intimate gestures rather than grandiose declarations. He conveys his affection in subtle yet deeply comforting ways—whether it’s gently holding hands as they walk through serene forests, or offering a gentle brush of his fingers across their arm, Glorfindel’s touch is tender, always a reminder of the bond they share. His hand resting on their shoulder or a quiet touch on the back is a silent declaration of support and affection that speaks louder than words ever could.

When the weight of the world feels heavy, Glorfindel finds a deep sense of peace in the simple act of resting his head on their shoulder or pulling them into a quiet embrace. In those moments, the world fades away and only the closeness between them remains. These quiet hugs aren’t rushed—they are long, filled with a tenderness that speaks of protection, comfort, and unwavering love. For Glorfindel, the act of simply being together in these moments, without the need to speak, is when he feels most at peace, surrounded by the warmth of his significant other. He cherishes the stillness and the peace that physical proximity brings. Whether they’re sitting together by a fire or sharing a cup of tea on a calm afternoon, these moments are treasures to him. Glorfindel enjoys the soft silence between them, where their love doesn’t need words but is felt deeply in the shared space. His joy lies in these serene, intimate moments that may seem simple, but are the foundation of his connection to them. He is content in the knowledge that his presence is all that is needed to make them feel cherished and loved.

In addition to his love for physical closeness, acts of service are central to how Glorfindel expresses his care. His devotion is shown through actions that lighten his partner’s burdens. When they are unwell, or simply worn from the trials of life, Glorfindel will step in with a quiet but determined effort to care for them. He might cook a nourishing meal, ensuring every dish is prepared with care, or bring them the herbs they need to heal. He’ll never hesitate to run errands for them, even if it means putting aside his own responsibilities. His attention to detail in these acts demonstrates his love—every task is an opportunity to show his commitment, his unwavering desire to make their lives easier, more comfortable. Glorfindel’s love is not just about the big moments, but also about the consistent, everyday ways he cares for his partner. If they are overwhelmed by the weight of their tasks or responsibilities, Glorfindel will take it upon himself to shoulder some of that burden, showing his love through quiet sacrifice. Whether it’s taking on a physical task or simply offering his presence, he seeks to be a steady, reliable force in their life. For Glorfindel, the essence of love lies in physical closeness and selfless acts of service. These gestures, though simple, are his truest form of devotion—his constant desire to be there for his loved one, not just in moments of joy, but in the quieter, more vulnerable times as well. He doesn’t need to speak of his love; it is woven into every touch, every thoughtful action, every quiet moment they share together. His love is steady, unwavering, and constant—a beautiful reflection of his deep emotional connection to them.

How do they view their significant other? Are they the light in their life? Best friend? Savior, etc.? To Glorfindel, his significant other is everything—they are not only the light in his life, but also his best friend and his greatest source of joy. They are the one person who sees and understands him in a way no one else does. In their presence, the weight of his many responsibilities feels a little lighter, and the world—often filled with battle, duty, and sorrow—becomes a little more peaceful. They bring balance to his life, offering a sense of stability and warmth that soothes his soul. Glorfindel doesn’t see his partner as simply someone to share his love with, but rather as his confidante, his equal, and his most trusted ally. He holds them in the highest regard, admiring their strength, wisdom, and kindness. They are not just a companion in the sense of being with him through the mundane, but someone who has a deep impact on his spirit—someone whose presence makes him feel complete. In moments of stillness or exhaustion, they are the one person he seeks, for they are his refuge, the place where he feels truly at ease.

He views them as a force of good in his life and the world. His love for them comes from more than just attraction or affection—it is rooted in profound respect and admiration for who they are as an individual. Glorfindel sees in them the qualities he himself holds dear: courage, kindness, wisdom, and a fierce sense of justice. They are his greatest inspiration, constantly reminding him of why he fights—to protect not only the world but also the love they share. They are the anchor in his life, the person who makes him feel that all the sacrifices and struggles he faces are worthwhile. In Glorfindel’s eyes, his partner is not just someone to cherish—they are the one thing that gives him a sense of hope and peace in an often chaotic and burdensome world. They are the calm in the storm, the one he trusts with his heart, and the person he knows he can rely on no matter what life throws at him. He holds their bond with the deepest reverence, knowing that in them, he has found his home and his truest companion.

How do they act when falling out of love? Glorfindel’s love is steadfast, deeply rooted in his character, and he rarely falls out of love easily. His devotion to those he cares for is unwavering, and the idea of falling out of love is something he would resist with all his might. However, if he did find himself in a situation where his feelings began to shift, the change would be a slow, quiet process. Rather than a sudden, dramatic shift, he would become more reserved and withdrawn over time, carefully distancing himself without making a scene. His usually exuberant nature would fade as he focused more on the practical aspects of their relationship—discussing matters with a sense of detachment, perhaps even making small talk that feels more formal than familiar. Though Glorfindel’s protective instincts would remain strong, he would begin to withdraw emotionally, sensing that his presence might be more of a burden than a comfort. He would give his partner the space to figure things out, backing away in a way that reflects his deep respect for them. He understands that love cannot be forced, and if it no longer thrives, he would quietly step aside, choosing not to hold onto something that is no longer there. This doesn’t mean he would abandon them out of cruelty—quite the opposite. His departure would be painful for him, and he would never act out of spite or malice.

The affection and closeness he once shared would gradually fade as he refrains from seeking intimate moments or expressions of love. He might no longer share quiet tea sessions or offer the same physical comfort, and the once-comfortable silence would grow heavier. He wouldn’t want to hurt his partner, but he knows that continuing a relationship without true affection could do more damage in the long run. Glorfindel’s love, once deep and full of vibrant connection, would slowly shift into a kind of quiet sorrow, as he respects both their needs and the reality of the situation. His approach would be respectful and gentle, as he quietly processes his emotions and figures out how to move forward. He would never lash out or demand answers, knowing that love cannot be rushed or forced. In this moment, Glorfindel’s wisdom and stoicism would guide him—he’d accept the end of the relationship with a heavy heart, but with a sense of grace. His commitment to honor and integrity would mean he would still care for his former partner, even if the bond has changed, and would ensure their well-being from afar if necessary. The process would be slow, thoughtful, and filled with quiet pain, but Glorfindel would hold his head high, trusting that in time, both of them would heal.

Will they do anything for their s/o? Will the crocodile tears win them over or are they stubborn on not giving in? Yes, Glorfindel would do anything for his significant other. His loyalty is unwavering, and his deep sense of duty extends not only to his people but also to those he loves. His commitment to protect and care for them knows no bounds, and he would place their happiness and well-being above his own without hesitation. He would go to great lengths to ensure they are safe and cared for—whether that means laying down his life to defend them, sacrificing his time and energy to support their goals, or offering resources freely to make their lives easier. His love is selfless, and he finds fulfillment in being the steadfast protector, the one who can be counted on in any situation. Glorfindel’s sense of duty and honor is intrinsic to who he is, and he would never shirk his responsibilities when it comes to his significant other. He would spend long hours tending to their needs, whether they are physical, emotional, or practical. From running errands to offering wise counsel, he would be the rock they could rely on in times of joy or hardship.

However, Glorfindel is also wise and has lived through countless challenges. While he is incredibly generous and caring, he is not easily swayed by manipulation. If his partner were to use tactics like crocodile tears or emotional manipulation to get their way, he would see through it immediately. His respect for his partner and his sense of honor would make it hard for him to be deceived. He values honesty and integrity in a relationship and would not tolerate dishonesty or coercion. If he ever suspected that his significant other was using emotional manipulation, he would confront them with calm and understanding, seeking the truth. Though his love is selfless, it is also rooted in trust and mutual respect. Glorfindel would do anything for his partner, but only if the relationship is built on honesty and authenticity. If he were to discover any dishonesty or manipulation, it would be difficult for him to forgive and move forward in the same way. His devotion and willingness to sacrifice everything would remain, but the foundation of trust would need to be rebuilt before he could fully open his heart again. For Glorfindel, true love means respect, honesty, and genuine care. If his partner is genuine, his willingness to go to great lengths for them would be endless. However, the moment trust is broken, it would take a lot to mend, as his love is deeply intertwined with his sense of integrity and honor.

How do they kiss? Glorfindel’s kisses are gentle, yet filled with profound passion, tenderness, and the weight of his affection. He would never rush such a significant and intimate moment, taking care to ensure each kiss carries its own meaning and emotion. His kisses are never hurried, reflecting his patient and thoughtful nature. He believes that love is shown in the subtleties, and as such, his kisses will always be full of reverence for the person he adores. A simple kiss on the forehead would be a sign of respect and deep care, lingering just a moment longer than most, as he gently places his lips there with quiet devotion. A peck on the cheek might be his way of showing his love in public or in the company of others, subtle but no less sincere. Yet, when alone with his partner, his kisses become more intimate—a soft touch at first, but quickly growing in intensity as they both become attuned to one another. The initial kiss might be tentative, a slow exploration, but as the moments stretch on, his affection deepens and his kiss becomes more passionate, filled with longing and warmth.

What makes his kisses special is not just the physical act, but the emotional weight behind them. Each kiss feels like a promise, as though he’s pouring all of his love and admiration into that single, fleeting moment. His kisses are his way of conveying what words cannot, a deep connection to the person he loves, allowing his heart to speak through the simple yet profound gesture. Glorfindel is not one to kiss for the sake of passion alone; he kisses with meaning and purpose, often savoring the closeness, the warmth, and the pure emotion between them. When he kisses, it is as if he is conveying his devotion and admiration, speaking to the very core of his being. Each kiss from him would feel like a reflection of how deeply he cherishes his partner—a moment of shared vulnerability and affection that can only come from true love.

What's their favorite part of their s/o? Glorfindel’s favorite part of his partner is undoubtedly their eyes. He finds himself captivated by the way their gaze can speak volumes without a single word being exchanged. Their eyes, to him, are the windows to their soul—full of joy, wisdom, and an undeniable depth that he is drawn to. The way their emotions flicker across their gaze, whether it’s a fleeting moment of happiness or a deeper, more introspective thought, speaks to Glorfindel on a level that words never could. He could easily lose himself in their eyes, finding a quiet strength and comfort in the way they lock onto his. Their eyes remind him of all the things he loves about them—gentleness, intelligence, passion—and he never tires of looking into them, as each glance feels like a quiet affirmation of the bond they share.

That said, if asked to articulate what truly draws him to them, Glorfindel would likely express that it’s not only their physical appearance that captivates him. For him, it’s their inner beauty, their strength of character, and the quiet resilience they embody. Glorfindel is someone who is most moved by the soul—the strength of will, the kindness, and the integrity a person holds deep within themselves. It’s their intelligence and their ability to navigate the world with wisdom and grace that he truly cherishes, not just the surface level. However, if pressed to choose a more physical feature, Glorfindel would admit that he is particularly drawn to the waist or hips of his partner. There is something inherently comforting and intimate about resting his hand on their waist, or the way their movements seem to flow naturally from that part of the body. His hand may often find its way there, a subtle but reassuring gesture of his closeness and affection. For him, this part of the body represents both strength and softness, and it feels like a perfect place to feel their presence—gentle but grounding.

Are they protective? Yes, Glorfindel is deeply and fiercely protective of those he loves, and his significant other is no exception. His protective nature is not driven by possessiveness, but by an unwavering sense of duty, loyalty, and love. Glorfindel’s instinct is always to shield and support those he cares about, both in times of physical danger and emotional distress. He would go to great lengths to ensure their safety and well-being, whether that means standing in front of them in battle or quietly offering comfort in the face of emotional hardship. In battle, Glorfindel’s protective instincts are on full display. His skill with a blade, his courage in the face of overwhelming odds, and his determination to protect those he loves all come to the forefront. He would fight with everything he has, always putting himself between the danger and his partner, ensuring they are out of harm’s way. His strength and bravery become a shield, not just in the physical realm, but in the emotional and spiritual realms as well.

However, his protection extends beyond mere physical defense. Glorfindel is attuned to the emotional and psychological needs of those he loves, and he would not hesitate to offer his support in times of vulnerability. If his partner is troubled, overwhelmed, or hurt, he is the first to offer a listening ear, provide gentle encouragement, and help them find peace. He doesn’t just stand guard; he also nurtures and heals the emotional wounds that might go unseen by others. His protectiveness also manifests in his actions, making sure his significant other feels safe in every way—whether it’s making sure they are physically comfortable, emotionally supported, or simply not burdened by the weight of the world. For Glorfindel, protection is not a burden; it is a privilege, an expression of his deep love and care for them. Whether they face physical danger or the pain of the heart, Glorfindel will always be there, standing firm and resolute, to shield them from harm. In essence, Glorfindel’s protective nature is as much about being present in times of peace as it is about being a steadfast defender in moments of conflict. His protection is comprehensive, wrapping both his loved ones’ physical and emotional well-being in the same unshakeable shield.

How far will they go to take care of their sick s/o? Glorfindel’s sense of duty, which is deeply ingrained in him, extends far beyond the battlefield. When his significant other is sick, his protective instincts take over in the most nurturing way. His devotion to their well-being becomes his highest priority, and he will go to great lengths to ensure they are comfortable and cared for. He doesn’t just perform the bare minimum—he will tend to every detail with thoroughness and love, making sure that his partner feels safe, supported, and cherished throughout their illness. He will be by their side, not just physically present, but emotionally invested in their recovery. Whether it’s fetching the necessary medicine, preparing soothing teas, or making sure they have plenty of food and water, Glorfindel’s actions will show his unwavering commitment to their well-being. He will create a calm, peaceful environment, ensuring that his significant other can rest without worry or discomfort. His attention to detail would extend to creating a serene space—drawing the curtains just right, adjusting the pillows, or keeping the room warm and cozy.

Glorfindel is not one to shy away from responsibility. He would not hesitate to cancel any personal engagements or put aside his own needs for the sake of their comfort. His love is selfless, and when they need him, he’s fully there—putting aside his duties and plans, with no complaint or hesitation. He would be the one to stay up late, checking on them periodically, making sure they’re warm, hydrated, and settled. Even in moments when his partner might be feverish or restless, he would sit beside them, gently stroking their hair or offering soft words of reassurance, ensuring they know they are not alone. His love is expressed through his actions, and in times of illness, his unwavering presence is a testament to the depth of his care. He will offer not just physical comfort, but emotional support as well—quietly assuring them that they are strong, and that their health is his primary concern. If needed, Glorfindel would make sure to handle all the responsibilities around the home, from cooking meals to running errands, without question. He would do everything he can to ease their burdens and allow them to focus solely on recovering. For Glorfindel, taking care of his sick partner isn’t just about tending to their immediate physical needs, but about providing them with the emotional security that comes from knowing they are deeply loved and cared for, no matter the circumstances.

How do they cheer their s/o up when they're down? Glorfindel is deeply attuned to the emotional needs of those he loves, particularly his significant other. When they are feeling down, he is both patient and perceptive, allowing them the space to express their feelings freely. He understands that sometimes, the best way to help is not to rush in with solutions, but simply to be present, offering a safe space for them to process their emotions. His calming, steady presence often brings a sense of peace, as he doesn’t pressure them to feel better, but instead provides an understanding ear and a shoulder to lean on.

Once his partner has had the space to express themselves, Glorfindel gently reassures them with his wisdom. He’s known to offer comforting words that reflect his vast experience and knowledge of both the world and human emotions. His advice is often laced with insight, drawing on the lessons of his long life, and delivered with kindness and tenderness. His words carry the weight of someone who has lived through countless trials and knows that dark times are only temporary. Glorfindel’s calming voice and heartfelt sincerity are often enough to ease the tension and give his partner hope for brighter days ahead. In addition to his comforting words, Glorfindel knows the value of quiet companionship. He might suggest a peaceful walk through nature, where the soothing rhythm of their steps and the beauty of the surroundings can serve as a distraction and a healing balm for a troubled heart. He is not one to rush, allowing his partner to share their thoughts as they walk, or simply enjoying the shared silence between them. The connection they have provides a sense of belonging, and his partner is reminded that they are never truly alone, even in their darkest moments.

If the time is right and his partner is open to it, Glorfindel might break the tension with a touch of humor, always in good spirit. He might tease them lightly, offering a playful comment or a witty remark that brings a smile to their face. His humor is never forceful, and it’s always designed to lift their spirits without making them feel dismissed. Glorfindel’s teasing is gentle, and his ability to know when to be serious and when to lighten the mood shows how well he understands and cares for his partner. He never pushes them to smile, but instead, he creates an environment where they feel safe to do so in their own time. Above all, Glorfindel’s approach to cheering his partner up is rooted in respect and love. He knows that healing often comes not from grand gestures but from the quiet, loving acts that remind his partner they are cherished and supported. Whether it’s through a shared moment of silence, a heartening conversation, or a burst of light-hearted humor, Glorfindel’s commitment to lifting his partner’s spirits never wavers.

How do they react when they find out their s/o is dead? Glorfindel would be utterly shattered by the loss of his significant other. The news would strike him like a blow to his very core, leaving him temporarily numb, as though the world around him has come to a standstill. The bond they shared, so profound and full of warmth, would feel like a part of himself had been ripped away, leaving an emptiness that nothing could easily fill. The pain of losing someone so dear would be unbearable, and for a time, he might struggle to express the depth of his grief. As an elf who has experienced centuries of life, he is no stranger to loss, but the death of a loved one, someone who held such a unique place in his heart, would feel different—a deep and personal wound that takes time to even begin to understand. At first, Glorfindel might retreat inwardly, struggling to comprehend the magnitude of the loss. His usually composed demeanor could falter, his eyes reflecting the storm of emotions he feels inside. Though he may not outwardly show the full extent of his pain right away, his grief would be immense, and those closest to him would feel the weight of his sorrow even if he doesn’t speak of it. The quiet of his demeanor in those early moments would be a testament to the depth of the love he had for them and the overwhelming sense of emptiness he now faces.

Despite the initial crushing wave of sorrow, Glorfindel’s strength and resilience would soon rise to the surface. As a being of immense willpower, he would channel his grief into a quiet, determined resolve to honor their memory and continue the work they had shared. He would not let their death define him, but instead, it would fuel his desire to push forward, to carry on their shared purpose, and to live in a way that reflects the love and ideals they held dear. His sense of duty would not allow him to succumb to despair forever. Instead, he would find ways to honor them by protecting others, continuing to fight for what they believed in, and perhaps even by performing acts of kindness or compassion that reflect their spirit. However, even with his strength and resolve, Glorfindel would undoubtedly carry the scar of this loss for the rest of his life. The ache would remain in the quiet moments, when he finds himself alone or reflecting on the life they shared. There would be times when grief resurfaces in waves, and though he might not openly show it, there would be a lingering sadness in his eyes that speaks of the love he will always carry for them. His heart, while still strong, would be forever marked by the love they shared, and in some ways, he would be forever changed by their loss. Ultimately, Glorfindel’s reaction would be a complex mix of profound sorrow, quiet strength, and an unwavering commitment to live in a way that honors the memory of his lost love. Though the heartache would never fully disappear, he would carry their spirit with him, pushing through the pain to honor the life they shared, and using that sorrow as a source of strength in his ongoing journey.

What makes them worry about their s/o the most? Glorfindel’s greatest worry for his significant other is their safety and well-being, both physically and emotionally. As a deeply protective individual, his love comes with an inherent desire to shield them from harm, and he is always alert to any potential threats, whether they are external dangers or internal struggles. His concern would extend far beyond just keeping them safe from physical harm; he would be equally worried about their emotional well-being. If they were hurt, whether by the cruelty of others, by loss, or by their own doubts, it would weigh heavily on his heart. Glorfindel’s love is not limited to the obvious forms of protection; it extends to ensuring their happiness, peace of mind, and the emotional balance that sustains them. He would worry about their mental state, too—if they seemed stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, he would feel a quiet but persistent anxiety about their emotional health. More than anything, Glorfindel would fear the thought of them being alone or feeling neglected. He understands loneliness and knows how damaging isolation can be. If he sensed that his partner was carrying burdens alone, or if they were struggling without feeling supported, it would trouble him deeply. The idea of them being in pain—without someone to comfort them, or without the reassurance that they are loved and valued—would hurt him almost as much as if he were enduring the pain himself. His instinct would be to shield them from any sadness, frustration, or heartache, though he knows he cannot protect them from everything. Still, he would try his hardest to be there in every way possible—whether by offering guidance, practical help, or simply being present to offer emotional comfort.

Glorfindel’s worries would also extend to the potential of losing them or the fear of their love fading. Given his intense connection to them, the idea of losing that bond—whether to death, separation, or emotional distance—would stir an anxious longing. While his love is steadfast, he would be vigilant in ensuring that nothing endangers the deep connection they share. If they were to face any kind of emotional pain—whether caused by others, by circumstances, or by something within themselves—he would become consumed with the need to alleviate that pain and remind them of the strength of their bond. Ultimately, Glorfindel’s greatest worry is to see his significant other suffer in any way. His protective nature, combined with his immense love, would make him continually anxious about their well-being. He would do everything in his power to ensure that they never feel alone, unloved, or in harm’s way—his concern for them would never waver, and he would always be ready to step in to support and safeguard them in any way possible.

How often do they stare lovingly at their s/o? Glorfindel is the type of elf who, in the quiet moments, cannot help but lose himself in the presence of his significant other. His gaze lingers on them with a quiet reverence, filled with admiration and warmth. Whether they’re engaged in a simple task, lost in thought, or laughing, he often finds himself gazing at them, feeling an overwhelming sense of awe and love. These moments aren’t frequent in an obvious way, but they are sincere and deeply felt, like fleeting sparks of tenderness that he can’t help but indulge in.

When he’s looking at them, it’s as if time slows, and the world around him fades into the background. He could be caught in a deep stare, observing the way they move, the expression on their face, or the sound of their laughter. It is a gaze filled with quiet reverence, as if he sees not only their physical beauty but also the depth of their soul. His eyes would reflect a deep affection, a tenderness born from the bond they share. He might not always be aware of how long he’s been watching them, lost in the beauty of the connection between them.

During moments when they’re unaware, like when they’re reading, working, or staring into the distance, Glorfindel would often find himself stealing these moments to simply observe them. His love is a quiet and steady thing, and sometimes the best way he can express it is through these unspoken gestures—his adoring gaze being one of the simplest yet most genuine ways he shows his love. The warmth in his eyes would speak volumes even when he doesn’t say a word. On occasion, he would also give them a secret, playful glance—a look full of subtle mischief or affection, one that only the two of them understand. It might be shared in the middle of a crowded room, or when a fleeting thought crosses his mind that makes him want to share a private moment without words. These secret glances are full of intimacy and connection, where he shares his feelings without needing to announce them aloud.

And then, there are the teasing glances—the ones that are filled with light-heartedness, a playful challenge in his eyes. These are the looks he gives when they’re bantering, when there’s a shared joke or playful moment between them. It’s his way of showing affection with a hint of fun, a teasing but endearing glance that’s meant to make them smile or laugh. He can’t resist sneaking in those looks, especially when he knows it’ll make them blush or give a knowing smile. Though not constant, his moments of gazing lovingly at them—whether in silent admiration, shared secret glances, or teasing looks—are filled with a deep sense of contentment and gratitude. For Glorfindel, these tender glances are part of how he cherishes his partner, an unspoken affirmation of the bond they share, one that doesn’t need to be declared out loud but instead felt in the silent, shared space between them.

How do they impress their s/o? Glorfindel’s way of impressing his significant other is subtle but profound, rooted in the strength of his character and the quiet integrity he brings to every action. He doesn’t rely on grandiose gestures or overt displays of affection; instead, he impresses through his unwavering dedication to what he believes in, and the quiet way he carries himself. His courage and wisdom are often evident in the way he approaches situations—whether it’s in battle, in moments of hardship, or in the simplest acts of everyday life. He impresses by being reliable, steady, and always true to his word, showing that he is someone who can be trusted and depended upon. One of the most striking ways Glorfindel impresses his partner is through his honor and integrity. He has an unshakable moral compass, and his decisions are guided by a sense of right and wrong that is deeply ingrained in his being. He will never compromise his principles, and this unwavering commitment to justice and fairness is something that leaves a lasting impression. His loyalty and selflessness, demonstrated in the sacrifices he is willing to make for the well-being of others, speaks volumes about the depth of his character.

In addition to his strength of character, Glorfindel has a quiet sense of humor that shines through in unexpected ways. He knows how to lighten the mood when things feel heavy, offering a playful comment or a gentle teasing remark that can make his partner laugh, even in the darkest of times. This lighthearted side, though often overshadowed by his serious demeanor, is one of the ways he keeps his partner engaged and reminds them that joy can always be found, even in the most challenging moments. But what truly leaves a lasting impression on his significant other is his ability to balance his sense of duty with his capacity for joy and love. He is not all business or all fun—he is a beautiful combination of both. Glorfindel takes his responsibilities seriously, always fighting for the greater good, but he also knows when to pause, smile, and savor the small moments of life. Whether it’s sharing a quiet evening together, or simply holding their hand as they walk through the forest, these small acts are what truly impress, because they show his partner that, no matter how great the weight of his duty, his love and devotion to them always come first.

When alone in private, Glorfindel’s affection deepens even more. He becomes tender, like a golden retriever, eager to shower his partner with love and attention. He’ll greet them with kisses and bear hugs, a constant reminder of how much he cherishes their presence. His affection is abundant—often found in the way he touches them lightly as they pass, his gentle fingers grazing their skin, or how he rests his head on their shoulder in the most casual moments. He loves to hold them close, not just for a brief moment, but often, as if trying to drink in their warmth. In these private moments, his gestures are soft and intimate, like taking a bath together, where the water soothes both their bodies and their souls. He might tenderly wash their hair, careful not to miss a single strand, while teasing them about their choice of soap, or sharing quiet, playful remarks to make them laugh. His teasing is never mean-spirited, but full of affection, as he gently pulls them into his arms for a slow, lingering kiss. His love is most vividly shown in these quiet, tender moments. In public, he may be reserved and dignified, but when alone with his significant other, he is more than willing to express his love in every way possible. From the way he dotes on them—offering comforting touches or spontaneous acts of care—to the way he affectionately teases and holds them, Glorfindel’s private love is an embodiment of warmth and tenderness, like the embrace of the golden sun he is named after. Ultimately, Glorfindel impresses not just through his strength, character, and actions, but also through the depth of his affection when no one else is watching. His quiet devotion, whether in moments of playfulness or sincere tenderness, shows his partner that his love is boundless, consistent, and unwavering. It’s in these shared moments of intimacy and vulnerability that Glorfindel’s true nature is fully revealed—he is not just a protector and a warrior, but someone who is deeply invested in the joy and comfort of his partner.

https://www.instagram.com/legendarium_studio?igsh=MTV6bDMyNjYxeHYzbw== (cosplayer of Glorfindel this page from if you wanted to know)

Extra bonus (these parts just for fun, love writing them 😈🙈)

𖤓 He’s always down for cuddles. Whether he’s in the middle of a serious conversation or after a battle, Glorfindel will instantly drop everything for a cuddle. He’s the type to wrap his arms around his loved ones in a warm, tight hug, lifting them off the ground if he can. His cuddles are like a safe haven, and he’ll gladly hold onto you for as long as you need, offering comfort and warmth.

𖤓 He’s the type to fetch things just to make you happy. If you need something, Glorfindel will go out of his way to bring it to you—even if it’s something simple like a book or a cup of tea. He’ll do it with the enthusiasm of a dog who’s been asked to fetch a ball. “I’m happy to help!” he’ll say with a big grin as he runs to do your bidding.

𖤓 He has a “playful” side that comes out at unexpected times. Sometimes Glorfindel gets a burst of energy and will start playfully wrestling with his friends, gently tackling them to the ground in a fun, lighthearted manner. His energy is contagious, and before anyone knows it, they’re all on the ground, laughing.

𖤓 He loves to give his significant other flowers… just because. Glorfindel is always picking the most beautiful flowers and bringing them to his partner without any special occasion. He’ll find something in bloom in the forest, excited to give it to them with a big smile, as if he’s just given them the most precious treasure.

𖤓 He has a habit of collecting random “souvenirs” for his friends. Every time he goes on a journey or a trip, Glorfindel will find something small and silly to bring back—whether it’s a leaf from a special tree, an oddly shaped rock, or an acorn. He’s convinced that they’re important little tokens that remind him of the adventure, and he always gives them out with a big smile.

𖤓 He’s an over-the-top “cheerleader” for his partner. Whenever his significant other does something impressive—no matter how small—Glorfindel will be their loudest cheerleader. He’ll clap, hoot, and holler with excitement, often making an exaggerated show of how proud he is of them. His enthusiasm is infectious, and he’s never shy about making sure they know how amazing they are.

𖤓 He is an extreme morning person. While others may groggily wake up, Glorfindel is already full of energy, ready to greet the day with enthusiasm. He’ll happily bring his partner a cup of tea or breakfast in bed, his golden energy making him the perfect early riser who loves to start the day off with positivity.

𖤓 He’ll sneak up behind people to give them an unexpected bear hug. Glorfindel loves physical affection, and while he’s normally composed, he has an unexpected habit of sneaking up behind his friends or significant other and wrapping them in a massive bear hug. He doesn’t always announce his approach, making it extra startling, but he’s always quick to laugh afterward.

𖤓 He talks to his reflection when he’s frustrated. When things aren’t going the way he’d like, Glorfindel can often be found talking to his reflection in the mirror. It’s a method of self-soothing, where he works through problems by speaking out loud to himself. Sometimes he’ll even give himself little pep talks when he needs to remind himself of his own strength.

𖤓 Glorfindel is terrible at keeping secrets, but he tries. He can be trusted with confidences, but Glorfindel’s natural inclination to help others often leads him to accidentally let things slip. His face gives away everything, so when he’s holding onto a secret, he often acts unusually anxious or distracted.

𖤓 He’s fiercely protective of his privacy. While Glorfindel is generous and open with his friends, his private life is his sanctuary. He rarely shares personal details, preferring to keep his innermost thoughts and feelings private. He can be very secretive when it comes to matters of the heart, and it’s only in the deepest, most trusting relationships that he will let down his guard.

𖤓 He’s great at giving advice, but doesn’t always follow it himself. Glorfindel is wise beyond measure and often gives excellent advice to those around him. However, when it comes to his own personal life, he’s prone to overthinking or holding onto old wounds. While he’ll offer guidance to others, he struggles with taking his own advice at times.

𖤓 He has an infectious laugh. Glorfindel’s laughter is the kind that fills the air with lightness. It’s joyful, carefree, and utterly contagious. When he laughs, you can’t help but join in, whether it’s from something truly funny or just from the sheer happiness he radiates. His laughter is a symbol of his sunny disposition and positive energy.

𖤓 He’s a huge fan of simple pleasures. Glorfindel finds joy in the little things in life—feeling the warmth of the sun on his face, listening to birdsong, or sipping on a cup of tea with friends. His gratitude for the simple pleasures of life is part of what makes him so radiant. He knows how to savor the moments that others might take for granted.

𖤓 Glorfindel talks to his horses like they’re people. He’s often seen having conversations with them, especially before or after battle. He believes they can understand him, and he’s always sure to give them the best care, often speaking to them in a soothing, affectionate tone. He’d probably be upset if someone didn’t show proper respect to them.

𖤓 He hates when people underestimate him based on his beauty. Glorfindel knows his golden hair and striking appearance can lead people to think he’s just a pretty face. He gets frustrated when people assume he’s all show and no substance—he’s more than capable, and he doesn’t need to prove it to anyone, but it still bothers him when they don’t realize his strength.

𖤓 Glorfindel is a sucker for romantic gestures. He’s incredibly private about it, but Glorfindel would love for someone to surprise him with a romantic gesture—something simple but meaningful like a handwritten letter or a thoughtful, personal gift. He might hide it, but his heart melts every time.

𖤓 Glorfindel never forgets a kindness. If someone does something small or kind for him, even if it’s something as simple as offering him a meal when he’s exhausted, he remembers it for years. He holds onto those moments of human (or elven) connection and returns the favor tenfold.

𖤓 He loves the sound of rain. Despite being a warrior and a fierce fighter, Glorfindel has a peaceful side. He finds comfort in the sound of rain—when he’s away from the battlefield, he’ll often find a quiet place to sit and listen to the rain, letting the soothing sound wash over him.

𖤓 He loves being surrounded by his closest friends. Glorfindel enjoys company and the camaraderie of those who truly understand him. He’s not the type to seek out large crowds but rather treasures intimate gatherings of friends. Whether it’s sharing stories, playing games, or simply enjoying a meal together, he values these moments of peace.

𖤓 He lights up any room he enters. When Glorfindel walks into a space, his bright presence brings an immediate sense of joy and calm. His smile, glowing with sincerity, seems to make everything brighter, and his easy laughter is infectious. Even on the darkest days, his optimism and warmth shine through, helping everyone around him feel just a little bit lighter

𖤓 He’s the ultimate sunshine friend. Glorfindel will always check in on his loved ones with a warm, “How are you doing today?” He’ll make sure you’re taken care of, offering support when you need it and reminding you of your worth. Whether it’s sharing a funny story or just sitting in companionable silence, he has a way of making even the simplest moments feel like sunshine.

𖤓 He has an unsettling talent for appearing behind people silently. If Glorfindel wants to make an entrance, he’ll do it so silently that people won’t even notice him until he speaks. He’ll stand in the doorway, perfectly still, and wait for someone to notice him. When they finally do, he’ll just smile and say, “I’ve been here for a while.”

𖤓 He can’t stand rudeness or disrespect, especially toward women. Glorfindel was raised to treat others with the utmost respect, especially women, and it infuriates him when he sees someone treating others poorly. He might not start a confrontation, but there’s always a look of quiet fury in his eyes when he sees injustice or cruelty.

𖤓 He’s very protective of children. Glorfindel may not have any children of his own, but he is fiercely protective of the young. He’s often found teaching them, giving them guidance, and always watching out for them in battle or in everyday life. His soft spot for them is something few people see, but it’s one of his most tender traits.

𖤓 He occasionally likes to “haunt” his friends for fun. Glorfindel has a mischievous side, and sometimes, he’ll make himself scarce just to make people think he’s disappeared. Then he’ll pop up suddenly, making them jump, and laugh at their startled reactions. He finds it amusing, though he’s always careful not to take it too far.

[calliecopper]

Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial

A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)

How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?

Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.

During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.

Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.

Season Five: The Breakup of All Time

I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.

Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.

There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"

This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.

But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.

I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.

In season 10:

"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

- Ian to Mickey, S10E9

Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:

"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."

"I love you."

"The Hell does that even mean?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.

Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:

"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"

"You get fucking nuts when you don't."

"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."

And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.

Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.

"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."

- Ian to Mickey, S5E12

Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.

"Fuckin' nurse now?"

[...]

"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"

- Ian to Mickey, S5E10

But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.

"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."

- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.

Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.

"I'm not saying never!"

"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."

- Ian and Mickey, S10E9

And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.

It's all one massive miscommunication.

Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.

Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.

"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."

"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."

"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."

- Monica and Ian, S5E11.

Vs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.

Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.

But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.

Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.

"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"

"I'm not Monica."

- Ian and Fiona, S5E8

Vs.

" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."

"That's probably not a compliment."

"Uh... No, I think it is."

- Ian and Monica, S5E11

This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.

Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.

Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.

Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?

Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.

Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.

Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.

Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.

Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?

Fiona: Yes.

Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?

Fiona: Sometimes, yes.

So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.

"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."

- Ian to Monica, S5E11

When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.

But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.

At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.

Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."

He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.

I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."

"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

- Monica to Ian, S5E12.

Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.

A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.

He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.

So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.

Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.

TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.

Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy

The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.

Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:

"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

And when Ian shows hesitation:

"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

So, Ian replies:

"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.

Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.

But, let's look at it from Ian's position.

Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.

Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.

Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;

"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."

Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.

Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.

Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.

It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.

Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.

But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.

What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.

Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.

For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.

"He as smart as you?"

"No."

"Yeah, he's smart."

"Lip is the genuis of the family."

"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."

- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3

And:

"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."

- Ian to Lip, S6E3

Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:

"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."

- Lip about Ian, S6E3

Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.

That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.

This leads us to Caleb.

Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.

After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.

Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.

From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.

"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."

- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.

(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)

So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.

So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.

Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.

"You ever pitch?"

"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"

"Follow me."

[...]

"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.

Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.

But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.

From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)

"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."

"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."

"I am."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."

"What do you want, then?"

"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah."

"A date."

"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"

"No, we could skip the flowers."

"Okay. You're on."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)

During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,

"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E6

but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.

"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."

- Ian to Lip, S6E6.

He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)

I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.

"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"

"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."

[...]

"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"

"Uh, no."

"Brothers and sisters?"

"A bunch, yeah."

"Older or younger?"

"Both."

"What about your parents? Both still alive?"

"... Yeah."

"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."

[...]

"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."

"Where's that?"

"Southside."

"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."

"Is that a problem?"

"Only if you make it one."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.

Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.

There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:

"So what are we doing?"

"Whatever you want, I guess."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.

Or this moment:

"What are you smiling at?"

"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"

"I like having a purpose."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.

"You haven't told me which one is your ex."

"Guess."

"Old guy, pink sweater."

"How'd you know?"

"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"

"You're a good sport."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

[...]

"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."

"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."

"That's-that's how we're playing this?"

"Hey, you threw down first."

"Where you from, kid?"

"Back of the Yards."

"Local boy. What's your story?"

"Story?"

"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"

"Met him at the firehouse."

- Ian and Gregory, S6E8

[...]

"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"

"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."

- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.

OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.

"So, where'd you sleep last night?"

"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."

"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."

"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."

"Where's there?"

"Home, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Back of the Yards."

"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"

"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."

"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."

"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."

"Great."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.

OR any of the follwing:

When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.

He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.

He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.

To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.

Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.

Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.

When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.

During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.

During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.

There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:

"Can I kiss you?"

"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."

"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.

"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."

"Upgrade from my brother."

"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.

Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.

It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.

But is this really how Ian feels?

Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.

And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.

Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:

"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."

"Is that what you're doing with me?"

"Good question. Can I kiss you?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6

(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)

Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.

"Cmon, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.

Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.

"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."

"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.

Vs.

"Guy in college. He lied to me."

- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.

(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)

So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.

The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.

Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.

"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."

"You think he'll dump you?"

"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.

Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.

"I haven't been this happy in a long time."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.

And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.

No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.

And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.

It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.

So, to summarize:

Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.

Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.

Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.

Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.

TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.

Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First

This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.

During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.

When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.

I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.

What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.

After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"

"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."

"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"

"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"

"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."

"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."

"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."

"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."

- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.

I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.

In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.

But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.

People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.

I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.

Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.

Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.

After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.

But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.

TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.

To End This Yap Session:

Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.

I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.

I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.

In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.

However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.

Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.

[ionlydrinkhotwater]

When I think about the fact that Neil would have joined the Nest at 9yrs old, I can't believe how little he would have been. Like Kevin would have been 11, it's not a huge age gap, but when I was that age mentally and physically, I remember feeling like there may as well be dozens of years apart from kids who were only 1 or 2 yrs above me. And we know that Neil would have been tiny even for his age given his height and he would have been adorable and combined with his bright-eyed love of Exy there is no way he would not have become Kevin and Jean's lil baby bro. And it would have stuck even as they got older cause the dynamics would have been baked in.

Think of the embarrassing pet names:

Wain, or Wee one from Kevin

Insolent brat from Riko

Mon petit villain from Jean

Child by all three (literally in canon all three have called him this [yes even Riko])

Like Kevin already fusses and henpecks Neil in canon already and as I've stated in another post refers to him as "child" the most in the series. Imagine if they had grown up together. Also Jean had to leave behind his own little sister, those instincts are clearly still there in the series so Neil would have been the recipient of Jeans big brother instincts too.

Also, based on the way he fusses at Neil and how he got little gifts for Jean, I sort of see Kevin as the sort who would have liked being a big brother. The Nest was not conducive to allowing him to be the big bro that he would have liked to be, though.

Also, remember that when it came to protecting Neil, Kevin was willing to stand up to Riko in canon and that was just him looking out for Neil Josten his protege (see after the Kathy interview where Kevin tried to protect Neil and when he learned Neils identity suggested he leave even if it meant Riko would win), imagine if he had grown up with and grown attached to Nathaniel Wesininski his little brother and protege who loves exy as much as he does, even more than Riko does. Would Kevin have protected Neil the same amount as he had Jean in canon (which ymmv on how lacking it was), or would Neil being there have triggered events to make Kevin more able to stand up to Riko? Whose to say? I don't want to suggest that Neil would be the only reason Kevin finds a reason to really fight against Riko but with Jean and Neil willing to oppose Riko Kevin might have felt more comfortable occasionally opposing him to based on majority but again it's hard to say.

And Jean, who was a protective and loving older brother to Elodie, whose big brother instincts translated in some ways to him helping Neil in the Nest when he could. Keep in mind that in TSC, Jean said he fought for months when he first joined the Nest before it became too much. But as Nora said in her tweet about Raven Neil, Neil would have been his anchor and that he would not have k1ll3d himself if Neil was his partner. Also, Neil would have been his partner who would never leave him, I think he would have been more inclined to fight back because he wouldn't have felt so alone and isolated (remember although Kevin went through hell in the Nest it doesn't compare to what Jean would have gone through) and being so young and alone with only himself to really care about he stopped trying. If Neil was there he would have had support and for better or worse he would have had someone who understood and shared his trauma, like yeah the Nest sucks but at least he had someone with him who was also sold in to wxy serfdom and knows the mafioso life. And I think Jean, like Neil, actually becomes more formidable when he has someone to protect. Neil was basically a self serving, zombie obeying the ghost of his mother before the Foxes, and I think rather than submit to Riko or Tetsuji, having Neil around would have given Jean somethingor someone to fight back for. I think Neil would feel the same way towards Jean. In a Raven Neil Au scenario, I think rather than Neil always protecting Jean and Kevin, I think it would have been all three protecting each other while navigating Riko and the other Ravens.

I love Raven AUs, but I think something we all need to remember is that Neil being there would have changed things, the characters, their characterizations, the dynamics, etc. To paraphrase Nora when she talked about it on twitter:

(Raven Neil) "would've really fkd the balance of the perfect court"

[sunnysidesevenup]

Rambling about Che’nya/Idia/Ali because I don’t talk about them enough </3 I still don’t have a ship name for them 😔

- Che’nya and Ali were fast friends since they met in first year, and started dating in their second year! They were initially both nervous to bring up being poly to each other and then it was basically the Spider-Man meme lmao. As long as they communicate they’re both fine if they date other people!

- Ali is super forward in basically any relationship—friendship OR romance—so yeah she would totally just see Idia, go “oh he looks like one of my fav book characters” and then immediately ask him out. She’s not particularly shy about asking people out on dates—that’s how you get to know people, right?

- Che’nya was initially just gonna cheer him on but then he saw Idia and was like, wait actually…. so he went too lmao 😭

(neither of them just EXPECT other people to date both of them, they’re both just really forward so they might as well ask him out and see what happens.)

- Idia thinks they’re playing a prank on him of course. And yet somehow they weasel his number out of him. And add him to a group chat. And then are texting him every day? And encouraging him to go on rants about things he likes? And consistently flirting with him? ….this must be a VERY long joke.

- Ali rambles about her interests so often and with no hesitation and Che’nya still seems happy with him (even when it sounds like complete nonsense), so Idia then feels a bit less scared to do so to.

- Che’nya is good at video games! Sort of. He’s good at the technical aspects of them, although he sometimes gets bored while playing.

- Ali is NOT good at video games but loves the story heavy ones.

- together they make the worst backseat gamers ever. ESPECIALLY IF THE GAME HAS MULTIPLE ROUTES.

- Idia believes only Ali is interested in dating him at first and that Che’nya is just sort of taking pity on him and being supportive of his partner. At one point Ali has to cancel last minute but the two of them are already there, so Idia is like: “well, should we… leave?” to which Che’nya looks at him in absolute horror.

- “WE’VE BEEN DATING THIS WHOLE TIME TOO??” “YES??”

- the wonderland pair constantly hype Idia up to like. an insane degree. They WILL forcibly raise his self esteem, it WILL happen.

- Ali gets into cosplay because of Idia, which is… exceptionally bad for his heart lol. Stop dressing like his favorite characters!!! He’ll die!!

- Che’nya understands both Ali’s weird riddle-like way of speaking AND Idia’s geek internet speak, meaning he is the only translator for them sometimes. However, no one can translate for Che’nya, so he gets to maintain his “reputation of nonsense” (his words)

- sleepovers are the best dates for these three, except when to actually go to bed. near impossible.

- they argue about who to date in otome games constantly. Ali actually got so upset once that she didn’t speak to them for like a week because Che’nya and Idia outvoted them 😭

- Ali is the tallest! Che’nya is the shortest lol.

- they steal each other’s clothes all the time. Idia only does so on accident, though—usually he only wears Che’nya’s because Ali’s are too recognizable.

- Ali will randomly prefer to be called Alistair some days. Idia likes to call this their “mysterious full title”

- they are all very dumb and cute together and I love them anshgshsh okay that’s all for now <3

[reddamselette]

was craving a burger and milkshake and then thought abt forever partners jean and neil so enjoy a drabble as i eat my burger and drink my milkshake

“You said we were getting food,” Jean starts as he stands outside the entrance, eyes flicking around before settling on Neil looking at him expectantly. “What is this?”

“Food.” Neil pulls the door open, holding it for Jean and tilts his head, urging the other to walk inside.

It’s late, nearing midnight on a Friday night. Neil wasn’t at all keen on cooking, the laziness weighed down on his bones and he’s hungry. It’s not ideal to stand around and wait for the food to heat up and season and the like so, with a craving for bubbly soda and burgers, he bothered Jean until he got an answer.

As they stand in line waiting, other locals having the same idea or a penchant for fast food, he watches as Jean surveys the brightly lit menu hanging on the wall. He didn’t tell Jean exactly where he was taking them to eat, already knowing the complaints and comment he’d get if he told the truth.

It isn’t a lie, really. But rather, simply hiding something from the man.

“Neil,” Jean murmurs and turns to him with a deadpan expression. A furrow to his brows that nearly makes Neil want to smile. He really does enjoy messing with him. “This is junk.”

They step forward in line as Neil shrugs. “No. Junk is chips and chocolate. What we have here is burgers, sandwiches, and fries.”

“I will hit you.”

“Hit me after we order and sit down.”

After several minutes of waiting—with Jean muttering a line of colorful threats in French and Neil all but unaffected—they finally order their meals.

Or rather, more accurately, Neil orders for Jean seeing as he refused countless times and stubbornly glared at the poor cashier. Although, he knows better. With each time Jean glanced at the menu, gray eyes always found the drink section and if Neil had to guess, it was most likely the milkshakes. Sugary sweet vanilla with whipped cream and an added cherry to top it off.

Once it’s paid for and they grab their trays, he and Jean move towards a booth near the window. Jean sits on the other side as Neil takes the seat facing the door.

Neil breaks the straw through the paper, placing it on the corner of his tray as he sticks the straw into his soda that clinks with ice. As he sips his drink, Jean is staring at the wrapped food in front of him, a thin line of his lips like he’s unsure what to eat first or where to start.

“Jean,” Neil says around the straw. “Your food is going to get cold if you keep staring at it.”

“I know that. I am..thinking.”

“Mm,” Neil hums in response and takes a mozzarella stick from a bag on his tray. He reaches over the table, an elbow supporting his weight and used as leverage.

Jean’s eyes flit up at Neil then at the piece of food he’s holding. “This is not remotely healthy.”

“You’ll run it off. Take a bite.” Jean sighs, shoulders slumping forward as if he’s asking himself what deed has he done to be cursed with Neil’s existence. Neil persists and says again, “Jean. Just take one bite. It’s not going to kill you.”

“I truly, deeply, hate you.” Jean leans forward and does as he’s told, a soft crunch fills the atmosphere and he sits back as he chews.

Satisfied, Neil sits back as well and opens up a little packet of marinara sauce to dip the rest of the piece and pop it into his mouth. “Sorry. I think I’m obligated to tell you that you’re not the first person to hate me.”

They settle into a silence after that. They each eat through their burgers, dip fries or mozzarella sticks or onion rings into sauces as people come and go.

Neil is halfway through his soda when Jean picks up the straw to idly twirl around his fingers.

“It’s going to melt.”

“Not if you drink it, stupid.”

“I would’ve been fine with water.

Neil shakes his head and takes the straw from Jean’s fingers to break the paper and slide it into the lid of the cup. He pushes it towards him, using the internal struggle of the other man to clean up whatever mess they made. By the end of it, he nudges Jean’s foot with his own. “I don’t want you to be just fine. You can have something you want, you know.”

Jean surrenders easily with that, taking a sip of his milkshake. “Not always.”

“Who’s telling you that?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, glancing out the window to watch the cars pass as it becomes later and later. “No one.”

“If you want something, tell me. Or don’t. I’ll always get it for you.”

Jean doesn’t look at him, too focused on the world outside by Neil feels Jean’s foot hook around his ankle. A silent gesture of a thank you and Neil leans back against the leather seat, taking his cup of soda into his hand.

[evellynssocbrainrot]

I literally just saw that post and it made my blood boil. It's as if the line "I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all" flew right over that person's head.

Inej's entire character DOES NOT revolve around Kaz. If it did, she would have fallen limp for him the minute he said "I want you." But she didn't. She CLEARLY has goals and a life outside of her relationship with him. In fact, BOTH she and Kaz are highly independent people who have built their businesses, empires, and skills off of their own heads, but alongside that, THEY SUPPORT AND HELP EACH OTHER!!! WHAT PART OF THIS DID THIS IDIOT NOT UNDERSTAND!!???

That person also said that Inej has no agency, and WHAT!!?? AGENCY IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST KANEJ GREEN FLAGS, WHAT THE FUCK??? Kaz gave Inej a choice to work with him as a spy, and she agreed. Kaz gave her an option to come with him on the heist, and she agreed. When Inej said that she wanted to leave the Dregs, Kaz didn't even try to stop her. He had concocted a thousand ways to keep her to him but used none. And when Inej said she wanted to hunt slavers, Kaz not only supported her, but he explicitly said that he pitied the slavers. And when Kaz sold every asset he ever owned and had been collecting since he was nine without hesitating to pay off Inej's contract and free her from her debt, and when he bought her a ship and found her parents, it wasn't a gesture of stealing Inej's agency or "NOt GivInG HeR a ChOicE," they were genuine gestures of pure kindness, devotion, and selflessness. He was making Inej happy. And he did make her happy. Inej herself was infinitely grateful for his little (Not really so little) gestures of kindness. he wasn't robbing Inej of her choice, he was supporting her and aiding her up to the choice she had already made. Inej tells Kaz that she will return to Ketterdam because she chooses to. And she said that she wants Kaz to help her rid the world of evil people.

Everything Kaz did here was done because of his sheer love for her. Because he was thinking of only her and not at all of himself. 😭

Always remember that Kaz and Inej are each other's partner-in-life and confidant in every way. They are each other's best friend. Each other's biggest simp. Each other's biggest supporter. Each other's comfort and safety. And all the things they do for themselves and for each other are things they choose to do. The agency is one of the core aspects of their deep bond.

I DO NOT understand how this person didn't understand. You are right OP, some people really don't deserve to speak on Kanej.

some people don’t deserve to speak on kanej

[ingravinoveritas]

When someone deliberately schedules their seventh 40th birthday party on the same night as the closing night of their partner's critically acclaimed play, there is absolutely a problem...

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[jayninjago]

Redo of my ninjago self insert/tournament sona^^ lore in tagsss