#this is not me being pissy or anything
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Lmao I love how the monstrosity of a list they gave us on how to watch pokeani is already outdated. I've been watching xy with my partner on Hulu, went to continue the other day only to find that sun and moon is there now. No clue where xy went or if it's just lost to the void. Luckily we've got other methods of watching but my god
I had a dream last night that I found the motherlode of pokeani DVDs at a used media store, devastated it was only a dream. I've been slowly collecting physical media and have most of the movies and some of DP, Alola, and Journeys at this point. Physical media beloved <3
#pokemon#pokeani#this is not me being pissy or anything#i just think its hilarious and also very telling how quickly their list became obsolete
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itās actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they werenāt of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charlesā off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him wouldāve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isnāt one of us heās one of Them.#and as such what happened to him wouldāve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like āhe got in our wayā or āhe#made a fool out of usā or whatever else. even if those boys didnāt fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockeyās narrative choices#so props to him. manās got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I donāt think the boys in edwinās case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I canāt imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because heās visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I donāt really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#Iāll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasnāt based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didnāt intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charlesā killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. thatās murder#the demon probably didnāt give a shit about this human teenagerās sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and Iāll give tim Stans one thing: now heās so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like itās in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when itās him surface level challenging Bruce itās when everyone else is doing it too; but heās still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and itās so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesnāt fw is so fun to watch and thatās why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldnāt do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that itās such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Timās it doesnāt matter if they grow itās not my decision to make like itās the same but itās not AND WITH CASSā IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to āJanet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they areā like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy whoād blame a dead kid for dying. Thatās ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them thatās not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.
#the Jack and Janet thing is both an understatement and an exaggeration but I donāt think anyone reads enough to care#some tim stan might get all pissy and be like āno look this is everytime jack yelled at him and boarding schools are abusiveā to which#and its like narratively that means nothing bc the tim you made up to justify the Drake parents you made up by blowing shit out of#proportion is also made up and if all of that was abusive thereād be smth to show for it besides ur homophobic Jack#too girlboss to care but still terrible Janet bc god forbid a woman have a personality from ur fics#anyways thatās also the reason Iām ignoring the council of spiders#well two reasons#first is that was just a moment to make tim look cool and did absolutely nothing for him or his character moving on#like at all#Iād say it fucked with his previous established dislike of killing for his own reasons#and while that COULD be interesting itās not bc they didnāt do shit with it#and fanon doesnāt do fun shit with it either#nothing about how tim in his most manic state did shit he doesnāt want to remember shit heād HATE other ppl for#just āāremember what I did to ur base Raās? mess with me again and see what I do next š¼ā#like ok can you be real and genuine?#anyways I think#AND NOT IN A HATER WAY#Tim would benefit from being humbled#like genuinely I detest the world canāt move without tim running it but the idea that tim thinks that way is so good to me#and#I think next step being him realizing thatās not true would be a BIG push for his character#bc like I said tim Stans are right in the fact that heās stale as hell rn#but thatās bc thereās nothing to say bc thereās nowhere to go! yāall want a tim action story where he shows off how badass he is reread#the Bruce quest and maybe itāll remind you heās not ceo lmao but anyways thereās nothing internal to say about him atp bc nobody wants to#say anything thatās not propping him up. same with Bruce! Gotham war was such a copout but itās like ppl are saying heās stale and itās bc#god forbid he makes a lasting fumble. and Iām not under the illusion this is new Iām just saying itās weird that fandoms not clocking it#anywayyys I really do like thinking about the No killing rule and how different it manifests for each perosn#like the way each distinct difference tells u so much about them#UGH ONLY SLIGHTLY RELATED BUT DUUUUUKE BEING LIKE IDGAF ABOUT GUNS LIKE UR SO REAAAL#anyways enough tim positivity for today FUCK THAT NIGGA!
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something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all āļø i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!
#i remember i used to have a bunch of cool anime and game posters i collected over many cons for a couple of years#and one day i just came back to my bedroom being fully repainted and everything was thrown out#same with some figures i got. i had a nice bleach collection and they were all broken due to rough cleaning#some just straight up gone because haha who cares they're just toys toss em out#and it was a situation of if i complained i would only get dismissed as being pissy about stupid things. so i just. didn't.#i just accepted it and decided ''i guess i'm not getting anything again'' and didn't even bother going to cons after that lmao#now that i'm in my late 20s i'm FINALLY buying cool physical items for myself and not letting anyone even come close to my room#and a part of me feels guilty about spending. but like... yeah no.#i deserve that 1/8 makise kurisu figure i found the other day. or gunpla. or mtg cards. or manga collections. i can do whatever i want.#and i should also be retroactively pissed at how dismissive everyone was over my belongings because#EVEN IF they were all silly unimportant items. i was like 15. why would you throw away a kid's belongings like that. even if ādumb.ā#not to mention how unimportant i was already feeling at the time. none of this helped.#and i was fully convinced that yeah this is what my life should be like. i don't want to be selfish so. i'll just embrace minimalism.#that is what i deserve.#which only later as an adult after i started comparing my experiences to other people i realized#hey. what the fuck was that.#do you guys really not remove all of the layers that make you human??
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god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
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watch him not perform or release Traffic, not give any album updates, force me to look at that for all three shows Iām attending and then immediately release the song, the album, and go back to black after I leave mid-July
#kƤƤrijƤ#istg this is the kind of luck i will have#bad news i woke up and i actually hate it even more#i'm sorry i know i'm being too pissy and dramatic about this#also the stress of trip planning is getting to me#and we're in a heatwave that keeps giving me headaches and just generally making me feel like absolute shit#so I am Not Doing Well on all fronts#but this is the kind of abrupt last minute change i hate more than anything#yes yes i know it's his body he can do whatever tf he wants#but i didn't pick up idk how many extra shifts in Hell (the workplace) for my concert footage to be of discount guy fieri
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ooooo i just told my mom abt the police detective calling me this morning abt my aunt and she's so mad at my aunt
#there is TEA#and im telling you guys cause it's funny to me since my aunt is a POS#but apparently like a week ago someone came to our house looking for my aunt and asking our landlord if she lives here#my aunt is currently Voluntarily homeless (yes. Voluntarily???)#so she doesn't live with us#but my mom talked to her and said i don't want people coming to this fucking house looking for you#and my aunt said that everything was fine and she had gone to the police station a couple days ago#and said she wasn't being looked for or anything#which is clearly now a lie bc of the guy who called me today#so my mom is pissy#she was like yeah pass the info to auntie and tell her to fucking call me too. so my mom is gunna chew her out#jester.txt
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iām actually going to scream iām so serious
#get dragged to church except i apparently didnāt have to go but no one TOLD me that until i was already ready#grandfather is yapping and asking me questions and not listening to my answers#brother is pissy and being an ass#and weāve tried to go to two different places for lunch and failed because they (fairly) didnāt have a table for a party of six walk in#iām hungry and pissed and stressed and lowkey wanna go home but if we just go home then iām not gonna eat lunch because we donāt have anyth
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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Also mom's been saying she's gonna bring us the new car battery for THREE FUCKING DAYS
it is literally out of our hands, we don't have a working car because we need a BATTERY
#and my mom sent kallie a pissy text yesterday so good to know asking for favors isn't a 'always let me know if you need anything' situation#like they're always claiming it is#good to know i'm being a nuisance#vent
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im still pissed about the whole egg discourse. like the idea that cis men are in any substantial way being pressured to become trans women is so fucking laughable. my high school of just juniors and seniors has 5000 kids split across the two grades and i am literally one of two (uncloseted) trans girls. what fucking fantasy world are you living in and how do i get there
#i mean we are literally .04% of the student population and yet i know most of the school knows about me!#sorryyyy im being pissy#i am just so fucking angry#i hate this place lol and the staff isnt doing shit to help me#just literally wont do anything about the harassment and threats ive reported (multiple times!!!!!!!)#anyways
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also as the resident HaterTM, can I just say that people who make their whole thing about being a Hater are fucking annoying as hell and some of the worst people to spend time around. if you express any kind of genuine enjoyment of something, they have to make it into a joke and laugh at you and call you cringe even if they don't use the word cringe lmao "kill cringe culture!" but then "i'm a Hater and i Hate everything, if you have genuine fun with something then I'm going to make fun of you"
it's just so fucking exhausting to be around lmao, they seem to have to make Everything into some sardonic joke so they can keep feeling like the big chad alpha and like they're on top of everyone else. fuck off and grow up, you're boring and annoying and have a middle schooler mindset
#chase on the mic#like don't get me wrong. I think most things are stupid as hell#but if someone's enjoying something then I'm not gonna say shit about it#if it gets you through this life and doesn't hurt anyone then I do not give a shit if you're enjoying it#shit is so fucked these days (always has been really) that I think anything that gives ppl some semblance of enjoyment is fine#unless its like. HP or some shit lmao because that falls under the ''hurting people'' category#and I spend most of my time being pissy because that's how I get through the days lol. it's fun for me most of the time.#but i have the good sense to keep that shit to myself most of the time. unless i'm feeling real punchy and restless.#i could be way more of a dick than i am currently LMFAO
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when tony continues to book hangman like a midcarder, what wrestler will we start blaming next?
this is an example of what kind of ask not to send me. go bother someone else with this bullshit.
#I donāt have time for this petty shit on tumblr dot com#Iām not over here talking about bookings or anything lately#thereās no reason for this to be sent to me except that I am clearly a hangman fan#and youāre trying to be pissy#I donāt appreciate it#ashley answers#like if you came and ASKED ME a what I thought about hangmans booking#I would point out heās taken a back seat since his sons birth#and seems more focused on being a father#and thatās what I think has been going on with his storyline#along with some other personal things#but no youāre right itās a wrestlers fault always and I have clearly made sooooo many posts about it being someone elseās fault!#thank goodness you brought this to my ask box
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status of the now. i have not slept its 5am
#i am so tired but theres so much i need to do and i wont get it done if i sleep#because like ive been putting off showering and cleaning for multiple days now because i keep blacking out#and then shocker! person with chronic pain and probable heart issues is too tired to do anything but doomscroll in bed eat and then pass out#i wish i was like seven again so i could get rewarded for very menial tasks#give me a small dollar tree knick knack for brushing my teeth#i did not get knick knacks for chores at age seven but hypothetically#not a depressive episode but ive had zero motivation for anything lately#and i think its just because of my poor self care as of the past few weeks#its so hard to stay. in a routine though when you need to sit on the floor because you wiped down the counters#showering is such an ordeal i always narrowly avoid passing out#i need a shower chair probably but my parents would be pissy so sigh#also i dont own one#told alfie this already but i should invest in a walker#theres dust building in my room again too because i dont have the energy to stand on a chair and clean it#that and the last time i stood on a chair and blacked out and fell off#love being disabled slash ess#skyler posting#sorry for the rant this is my diary you understand
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you guys ever go to bsd twitter just to remember how good we have it here
#i dont use twitter but i have an account mostly for stealing bsd raws when new chapters are out#anyway went there bc i was reading a fic and the author linked their account#there wasnt anything crazy bad there btw but my brother in christ bsd tumblr is such a good place to hang out#'why is there such a pressure to not write characters ooc do you not want to see them in different scenarios' i dont think you know what ooc#means btw#yeah adjusting how a character acts tor the purpose of writing a story far removed for canon is great#exploring who they might be in this other universe in widÅy different circumstances is so so fun#but ignoring and misinterpreting them is such bizzare behaviour to me#esp that even when reading auās you can just. still sort of feel that something is off#and im not talking abt someone trying and maybe to necessarily succeeding in makes everyone perfectly in character#but rather people who will go out of their way to make characters different and unrecognizable and claim itās somehow better#do you even like these characters then? if you feel the constant need to pretend theyāre are vastly different?#txt.#hi and welcome to post 15226 of me being pissy over something thatās objectively not a big deal
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Managed something difficult last night. Not sure if I'll see major repercussions or not, but for the moment I'm relieved and can breathe easier. Hope all of you lovelies are doing well~.
#if you read the tags#long short is that i had to cut out an abuser who was my legal guardian for years#wrote up a firm text setting a hard boundary and told him if he and his wife can't respect that they can't be in my life. bar none.#he replied with the most passive aggressive gaslighting direspect backhandedness and religious guilt-tripping bullshit#but for the time being at least it seems like he'll leave me the fuck alone. he's stubborn and pissy and prideful enough that-#-i doubt he'll be able to humble himself to do anything but stew in his own immature grousing#i figured a response like that was a someahat foregone conclusion. lived around him long enough i know his habits and patterns#and when he can no longer abuse or hold power over somewhat he tends to be a pissbaby about it and cut them out of his life#hopefully that holds true#but yeah#that's an update from me sorry i got heavy in the tags here i promise I'll reblog some happier stuff#Cyanide speaks
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