zartophski

[zartophski]

started calling my executive dysfunction issues my board of dysfunctional executives and treating it like a room of frail old white men and it hasn't fixed everything but it sure is fucking funny

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Sending love to everyone who is just... tired. Life is a lot, and sometimes the answer to it all is to just be still and silent for a while. Give yourself space and grace. Whether it’s decision fatigue, anxiety fatigue, information fatigue, routine fatigue, getting life back together fatigue, career fatigue, social fatigue, financial fatigue, or physical fatigue—take a moment to breathe and recharge. You deserve it.

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deity's blessings (idea cred to @colibrie) <3

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i’m losing my mind look at these teenage mutant ninja turtles eating pizza..........

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Me when the blorbo is put through the Things:

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Every time I see one

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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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[zartophski]

You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."

[zartophski]

the problem with me is that I want to have fun and enjoy life

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[zartophski]

[zartophski]

"how to prevent smile lines" there are a thousand more important things to do with your time than postpone evidence of life's joy on your face

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started another show..! ⛹️‍♂️⛹️‍♂️

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Hands down my fave thing about hurricane season is when zoos put their birds in the bathroom to protect them from the wind and we get images like this

Photo from St Augustine Alligator Farm

[zartophski]

Ranch sauce

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can you please refrain from performing speedrun strats at the dinner table