#there’s no reason for this to be sent to me except that I am clearly a hangman fan

[cowboyshit]

when tony continues to book hangman like a midcarder, what wrestler will we start blaming next?

this is an example of what kind of ask not to send me. go bother someone else with this bullshit.

[finelinevogue]

Hi!! I would love a blurb for Azriel (ACOTAR) with 3 & 17 please ❤️ thank you!!!

hi!! of course🌟💖 az has such a soft place in my heart so i’m super excited to write more for him<3

am i allowed to miss you?

summary - azriel comes back from a mission and you’re not sure whether you’re allowed to miss him or not

pairing - azriel x new-mate!reader

✨🪻🪐✨🪻🪐✨🪻🪐✨🪻🪐✨🪻🪐✨🪻🪐

Elain bursts through the library doors, looking for you.

“Is everything okay?” You asked, sitting up and closing your book to show attention to her.

“Azriel’s back.” She breathed out, pausing a moment to watch you digest the news before leaving you alone again.

Elain left the door open, allowing you to hear the commotion in the hallway of all your friends greeting Azriel a warm welcome home.

It took you just a moment, but you started to feel his presence beside you. You allowed that warm feeling within-side you to fester and grow, feeling an overwhelming amount of love and safety all at once.

It was the bond.

The new bond.

You and Azriel were only a few weeks mated, after only having courted for a few weeks before that. You couldn’t help but mate each other because of how strong your feelings were to one another. It just made sense.

However, a few days ago Azriel had to leave to go on a mission even though both of you were still reeling in the honeymoon phase of your newly mated lives.

Standing up, you brushed some crumbs off your dress skirt and breathed out shakily.

You were so nervous.

The pace at which you’d been with Az had been so fast that you were still a little unsure how you were supposed to feel. It wasn’t a conventional relationship, per say, but that didn’t mean what you felt for each other was any less real. You knew that. However, you worried.

Walking out of the library you rounded the corner to see everyone crowding Azriel.

Rhys ruffled his hair and Cassian was finishing squeezing him tight as if he’d been gone for 30 years not 30 hours.

You watched with a smile on your face.

Azriel hates being fussed over like he currently is being, so it’s a little funny to watch. He’s too polite to tell them to leave, or maybe a secret part of him actually likes it. Either way, you stand back and allow him to be fussed over.

“Anything to report back?” Rhys asked.

“Rhys, you sent me on a scouting mission to count how many cattle Beron has. Except from the number ‘73’, no. Nothing to report.” Azriel said in the most sarcastic way.

Feyre laughed at this, teasing Rhys over something so silly.

“Counting cattle? Whatever for?” Amren asked.

“I have my reasons.” Rhys blushed, seemingly embarrassed but everyone knew there must be a good reason behind it all. Rhys was respected enough by everyone not for anyone to question anything.

“Was one of those reasons keeping me from my mate?” Azriel asked.

It was then that you’d realised that you’d clearly missed something and Azriel appeared behind you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. His kissed the top of your head and held you close for a moment.

“More like to give us a break from you being with your mate.” Cassian grumbled.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Azriel questioned for you both.

“Umm…” Cassian blushed.

“What Cassian is trying to insinuate is that the walls are old and so the walls are thin. We can hear… everything.” Nesta suggested for her mate.

You muttered a curse to the Gods under your breath, turning beet red at Nesta’s comment.

Everyone else chuckled.

Azriel must have known that you were feeling embarrassed because the next thing you knew you were being swept up in his arms, being carried like a bride.

“Right. Y/N and I are leaving. You can count your own cattle from now on Rhysand. And as for you, Lord od Bloodshed, would you like me to tell everyone about the time I caught you in Nesta’s lingerie and not for a devious reason?”

“You little…” Cassian started to move forward but Azriel had disappeared, along with you, before he could get anywhere close.

You both appeared in his room, out of the shadows.

Azriel put you down on the bed, following you down so he was leaning over you.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Azriel said, kissing you deeply.

You followed his kisses, taking his lead and kissing as much as Azriel was giving. It was soft but at the same time urgent. Your fingers cupped his cheeks, attempting to keep him placed against you forever.

“Welcome home.” You said softly, kissing him once more.

Next thing you know he’s kissing your forehead, nose, chin and cheek. He kept going, moving down across your jaw and onto your neck.

“Did you miss me?” He asked, finding the spot on your neck that you loved him kissing and keeping there.

You didn’t respond to his question, pushing it off as distraction and not listening.

“Y/N?” He left the spot on your neck, moving his eyes until they caught your distanced ones. “Hey. Don’t get shy on me.”

“I’m not.”

“You seem… distracted.”

You watched his eyes assess your face for a long moment. His eyes swirled with a flurry of emotions and you could feel his concern within your own chest. You imagined that he could feel your anxiety in his.

“Am I…” You started then stopped.

Azriel didn’t push you or try and finish the question for you, instead he pushed himself off you and sat on the bed. He carefully took your hand and pulled you up too, not satisfied until he swung you across his lap and held you close.

One of Az’s hands intertwined with yours and you sat like this for a moment more. Enjoying being next to each other. Enjoying the overwhelming emotions settle down as your bond recognised your closeness.

“Am I allowed to miss you?” You asked, remaining looking at his hand rather than him.

“You… Why�� Of course you can miss me, my love.” He kissed your forehead. “Why would you think not? Was it Cassian? I swear to….”

“No!” You exclaimed, looking at him then, “It wasn’t Cassian, no.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s just. Everything between us has happened so fast. I went from liking you, to loving you, to mating you all into the space of a month. I don’t feel like time exists and yet… I also feel like I don’t have the right to miss you so much that my heart physically aches after so little time.”

Azriel brings your tied hands up to his chest, leaving your hand to feel his heart beating.

“My heart physically ached too.” He gives you a soft smile.

“I did. I really did miss you.”

“I know. I know, because I felt the same way.” He gave you one loving kiss, “I don’t think it’s silly to worry over how quickly everything has shifted between us, and I do think that we feel right. I think we’re good. And we love each other enough to miss each other. So never worry about how you’re feeling, or if you’re feeling too much too soon - chances are I’m feeling it too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Welcome home, Az.” You give him another kiss.

“Now let’s give Cassian something to groan about.” Azriel says before flipping you back on the bed.

[teaboot]

I'm surprised/impressed? by how blase you are about people threatening you at work. A neighbor threatened me last week and it was so scary and I wish I could have had the same kinda response you seem to.

First off, I hope you're safe and okay, that's an awful experience to be familiar with and especially bad that they live so close to you D:

Second, I'm certainly no maverick out here- I've only been doing this a few years now- but I've found that about 99% of threats I receive have very little intent to follow through.

The type of threats I usually receive are typically from:

Someone who's had bad experiences with security or police, in the past. People with hand and face tattoos, homeless folks, people with mannerisms that get them labeled as "sketchy", POC, and people who've been incarcerated all have valid reason to believe I'm out to get them, and may get treated badly elsewhere often enough that they're expecting that. Every time I approach someone, I have to take this into account and do everything I can to signal that they haven't been profiled based on preexisting stereotypes.

Someone experiencing the symptoms of a mental health condition. People with mental illnesses are statistically victims of crime more often than they are perpetrators. That said, I have run into people before whose mental illness can present as aggression- if someone behaving erratically or is known for that sort of thing tells me they're gonna blow my brains out, but I can clearly see they're unarmed, not coming towards me, haven't hurt anyone, and show no intent of escalating, I'm probably not in danger. A few people I've met will see me again in a day or two and will have no problems with me at all.

Someone who is scared, frustrated, anxious, or grieving. Not to excuse violence in any context, but in my experience 99% of people who blow up at me aren't actually thinking about me. Anger isn't so much an emotion in a lot of ways as it is the reaction to another emotion- if someone tells me they're gonna kick my ass, I have to question if there's anything they may be frightened, frustrated, or sad about something else entirely. If I can address and resolve what's causing the anxiety, the anger usually goes away next. If I can't deescalate, my next job is to disengage and make sure myself and others aren't at risk of harm.

People who want something from me. This does not happen often. Maybe they want me to back off, or leave them alone, or let them take something, whatever- maybe they think I'm someone with clearance to use physical force, or they think my flashlight is pepper spray. Whatever it is, once they've made it clear they're willing to act, I back off. Unless they're hurting another person, nothing they want is worth getting stabbed or shot over. And physical conflict is insanely stressful, even for the attacker, so even then whoever threatening me will likely take any "out" I can give- I keep paths of escape clear, stay out of range, keep calm and respectful. Every time this has happened to me, the person has run away when given the chance.

People who genuinely want to hurt me and intend to follow through. Again, this is super uncommon- I think it's only really happened to me once or twice on the job. Yes, it's scary, but I find it helps to remember that they arent after me, they're after the uniform. If someone is coming after me in costume, so to speak, it's not who I am as a person, it's what I represent. And a lot of people seem to think I'm a cop, or see me as a faceless goon, or a past abuser, or an intruder in their life specifically sent to make them miserable. If that's what they believe, there's not much I can do to change their mind except, again, stay calm and respectful and disengage.

I do know how to defend myself to an extent, but again, I don't have weapons or restraints or a vest or anything and I'm kinda small on top of that so really I'm cool with hauling ass if I gotta. If me getting the fuck out of dodge resolves the issue then I'm not above radio'ing HQ from the top of a tree somewhere, that shit is above my pay grade.

TL/DR in my personal limited experience, someone who has told me that they're going to hurt me wouldn't have given me the warning unless there was something I could do to avoid it. Stay calm, don't yell, be respectful, give them an escape route and run if you need to

Stay safe out there, yeah?

[dietcokegirly12]

“Torturous Intent”

featuring nikolai gogol (Φ‿‿Φ)

─── ⋆⋅ 𓉸 ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ 𓉸 ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ 𓉸 ⋅⋆ ──

art credit: @gorimarus

─── ⋆⋅ 𓉸 ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ 𓉸 ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ 𓉸 ⋅⋆ ──

dead dove do not eat!! this one is a lil dark!

tags: bondage, sexual torture, restraints, interrogation, psychological manipulation, power imbalance, teasing, edging, dubcon, corruption kink, fingering, unprotected sex, coercion, dark themes, etc. etc.

word count: 2.2k

KINKTOBER OCT. 23 ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖𓉸ִֶָྀི ִֶָ་༘ ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪

───｡‧˚ʚ 🂱 ɞ˚‧｡─── ｡‧˚ʚ 🂱 ɞ˚‧｡─── ｡‧˚ʚ 🂱 ɞ˚‧

"You know what would be fun, Fyodor?" The white haired man in front of you giggled manically, looking down at your slumped form on the floor, arms chained behind your back. "Fucking this pretty little thing until she talks about who she is, and what she wants."

"Do what you wish with her," Fyodor's cool Russian accent floated through the air eerily, waving his hand dismissively as his footsteps began to retreat. "I leave the rest to you."

You had been caught by the Decay of Angels, a terrorist organization made up of several Gifted individuals whose plan it was to eradicate the world as it is, using a page from a reality altering book. You, an undercover member of the Armed Detective Agency, had been tasked with getting more info, stealing the page back to prove the Agency’s innocence, and ultimately save the world but things had clearly gone astray.

What you failed to take into account was how secure the Decay of Angels base was, and how overpowering all of the members truly were.

Fyodor, who you believed the smartest in the group, somehow managed to sense your arrival, and sent his little minion, Nikolai after you, who you were unable to escape from due to his ability, The Overcoat, which allowed him to teleport and open portals to draw his victims into.

Which is how you found yourself here. Your hands chained behind your back, and restrained on the floor, staring up defiantly at the now lone man who stood in front of you.

He crouches down close to you, one long finger coming to toy with a strand of hair falling into your eyes. “So little dove, gonna talk? Or am I just gonna have to make you?”

“Fuck. You. And your stupid organization. The Detective Agency is going to stop all of you, and when they do, you’ll regret this.” You snarl out.

Nikolai stands back up, and simply laughs, delighted by your response. “Well. Guess we have to do this the hard way, then!”

He suddenly yanked your feet toward him, and with a surprising amount of force managed to pin you down, your legs spread. You tried to squirm, but he held you down firmly, and before you could blink, had your legs chained apart.

“What..”

“Now, I believe I asked you a question, dove.” he practically purrs, his hands coming up to grip your thighs tightly.

Nikolai was his name. You didn’t know much about the elusive man, except his ability, and that his reason for joining the Decay of Angels was to achieve total freedom.

You hated him, his ideals, and everything he stood for. How could somebody do those things to innocent people, and kill so many for such a stupid goal?

But now, as he stood in front of you, grinning wolfishly, his white braid swinging down by his face, and striped pants showing off an impressive bulge, you couldn’t help the heat that spread over your body at being in such a compromising position.

They had already stripped you of clothes to ensure you didn’t have any weapons or devices strapped to you, so you were dressed in nothing but a thin pair of panties, your chest bare.

"Tell me everything." His hands slide farther up, reaching dangerously close to the warmth between your thighs, already seeping arousal.

"I..." You swallow, your eyes flicking up to his. "I won't! You can't make me!"

His lips curve up. "Oh really? Is that a challenge? Because I love challenges!"

You gasp as in one swift tug, he pulls down your panties, exposing your dripping cunt to him.

"Oh?" He giggles in delight. "I didn't realize you were this wet already, doll. This is going to be easy."

He gently cups your entire pussy in his hand, making you inhale sharply, automatically trying to squeeze your legs around his hand, but to no avail, the chains rattling slightly.

One expert finger comes to tilt up your chin, his scarred eye boring into yours. "Last chance to answer the question before things get rough for youu.." he says in a sing-song voice, his hand squeezing slightly tighter around you for emphasis.

You gulp, trying to keep your composure. The Detective Agency had trained you for this, had warned you of his tactics, and you weren't going to give in so easily. "No."

His grin widens. "Well, if you insist." And with one motion, a lithe finger plunges into you, immediately curling upward to hit your sweet spot, making your mind instantly go blank as a harsh moan leaves you.

"Now, are you from the Guild?" He watches you carefully, his thumb ghosting over your clit before pressing lightly.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to ignore him, but unable to stop him, or even move, completely spread out for him to see and touch.

"Hm?" he leans closer to you, his warm breath tickling your neck as he slowly begins to add another finger, stretching you.

"What about.." he scissors you with his perfect, long fingers, hitting places you've never been able to reach before. "the Port Mafia?"

You cry out a soft moan in response, trying to shift to open your legs wider, feeling yourself getting closer to release.

He giggles at this, continuing his movements even faster than before. "No, I know, I know. You're from The Detective Agency, aren't you?" With that, he presses his finger harshly to your clit, eliciting a soft whimper from you.

Delighted, he presses harder. "Yes?"

He begins to pump his fingers in and out of you, lewd squelching sounds ensuing as he also applies pressure to your throbbing clit.

Just as white-hot pleasure begins to creep up, white dots spotting your vision as your tummy coils, tightening up around him, he slips his fingers back out, leaving only a painful throbbing behind.

You gasp softly for breath, shaking by this point as you squirm, desperately needing more for the pulsing in between your plushy thighs. "Nikolai.." you beg.

He cocks his head mockingly. "Tell me, and this can all be over, little dove."

You simply stare at him, tears beginning to brim over your lash line.

He tsks softly, shaking his head. "Wanna play games, huh? Too bad for you because I happen to have quite a talent in them."

─── ⋅ 🃖🃁🂺 ⋅ ───⋅ 🃖🃁🂺 ⋅ ───⋅ 🃖🃁🂺 ⋅ ──

It's been hours and you still wouldn't talk.

Nikolai had begun to get restless, very worked up by your soft pleads and whimpers, though he wouldn't show it.

"Just tell me, baby." his voice is ragged, breathing slightly strained, and through your hazy vision, blurred by tears of overstimulation and pent-up tension from your muscles contracting, you see a very large tent straining against his striped pants, pre-cum beginning to seep through, and leave a damp, wet patch across the front.

"Tell me, and I can give you what you want."

By this point, all your muscles are numb and completely sore from the constant straining against your cuffs making you unable to move or flinch away. Salty tears crust on your cheeks, and sweat covers your entire body in a slight sheen.

He had replaced his fingers with a vibrator, the low hum the only sound in the cool, damp room, as your sensitive bud throbs dully.

Every now and then, he'd turn it up, high enough for you to feel the very tips of your pleasure spreading through your body, but having become accustomed to your tell-tale signs by now; the slight scrunch of your eyes, the way your moans get pitchier, and you ever so slightly try to grind your hips up, retracts it immediately, leaving you an unsatisfied mess.

More excruciating minutes tick by, and he continues questioning you, not stopping the relentless buzzing against your puffy clit.

"What possible group could it be that you're this loyal to, hm? What do they do for you?"

"It's n-not.. ah.. about that. It's about working for the right side, being morally correct."

You can't stifle the soft sobs and whimpers wracking your body, and seeming to take pity for a moment, he puts the vibrator to the lowest setting, pausing to tilt his head. "Are you truly happy in the organization you work for? Or do you just do it to feel like you're on the right side?"

You move your head side to side, shuddering softly. "F-fuck, I j-just want to be on the side that makes a difference in the world, you know? That changes it in s-some way."

His face seems to alight with curiosity at that. "Both sides have the capacity to change the world, but neither is completely good or completely evil. They have different purposes, but ultimately both sides have to do terrible things for their beliefs. Wouldn't you agree, dove? Hm? Just how many people have you killed on your journey to righteousness?" He says the last word like an insult, curling his lip maliciously and beginning to straighten himself up to leave, humming softly.

You truly can't take it anymore, the torturing, the constant stimulation, it's all too much. And now you're questioning your beliefs, your morals, all because of this stupid man, if you could even call him that. The worst part of it all was that he was partly right about some of it. You had killed people, lots of them at that. So could you really consider yourself working for a good organization? And in the end, did it really matter?

"Wait!" You call out desperately, as you scrabble against the chains holding back your weak body.

He turns back, his lips curving up sadistically.

"The Detective Agency! I work for The Detective Agency! They sent me here to steal the page back! At one time, I enjoyed w-working for them. But now.. I-I don't know." You whimper softly, your eyes fluttering pathetically as tears slide down your cheeks. "A good agency wouldn't leave me here to suffer, r-right?"

Instead, you feel his fingers graze your cheek, cool to the touch. "That's right. See, that's all you had to say. Good girl." He stands up again, and you panic, thinking that was all you're going to get, but instead he begins to push down his striped pants enough to reveal his flushed cock, pearly pre-cum beading out of the tip. He wasn't very thick, but he was long. So long, that you involuntarily whined at the thought of him being inside you, prodding all your sweet spots, and giving you what you craved so desperately.

"Eager, are we?" He presses himself on top of you, his cock leaking all over your stomach before he lines himself up against you, nudging slightly at your entrance. After being edged for so long, you're practically dizzy at just the feeling of his mushy tip barely pushing into your sensitive, puffy cunt.

In one fluid motion, he fully sheathes himself deep inside you, all the way to the hilt, the stretch filling you so deliciously, you try to suck him deeper, greedily taking every inch.

He groans softly at how tight and soft you are around him, the feeling of you so pathetically weak and helpless in his arms, reduced to a mere shred of yourself as you willingly give him everything you have, making him desperate to take more, more, more, until there's nothing left.

He begins a quick pace, his thrusts as spontaneous and jarring as he is, the length of him managing to hit that spongy spot inside you that has you arching and squirming as much as you can while restrained.

After being on the verge of cumming for hours, it doesn't take more than three thrusts of his long cock pressing sweetly into you for you to finally release around him, your warmth soaking and fluttering around his cock, sobbing with relief.

As you lay a boneless heap on the floor, he continues thrusting into you steadily until the warmth and twitching of you is too much for him to bear, his soft cries echoing as he finishes, spurting warm cum deep inside your walls, filling you up completely, some beginning to seep out of your abused cunt.

As your chest heaves, his body still pressed tightly against you, he pauses.

"Would you like to join the Decay of Angels, as my subordinate?"

You stare at him, bleary and submissive, fully broken underneath him.

"You could act as a double agent for us, going back to the Detective Agency and gathering intel. Hm? What do you say?" He excitedly peers down at you, noticing a hollowness in your eyes that wasn't there before.

"The Agency has never really cared for me. They care for the purpose, the cause of what we're doing, and they'll do anything to achieve it." You shift, looking up at him with wide, uncertain eyes. "Would you do that if I worked with you?"

"No, dove, I would never. This little torturing session was only to get a response. And please, call me 'kolya."

You sigh, your body soft against his as you mull it over. You turn back, your eyes slightly dull, and lacking the contempt righteousness that they had held before. "Okay, 'kolya. I'll join."

His lips curve ever so slightly up into a sadistic smile.

He was going to ruin you.

tagslist: (ask to be tagged!)@rosebluuod @sakui1 @snowsilver2000 @kissesmellow21

[sonotkari]

Meaningless

Hanni Pham x Fem reader

[ Synopsis ]

When, Where, and How did you and Hanni become so close? What was the start of the yapping duo's relationship?

Fluff

[ Word Count ]

1.6k

[ a/n ]

I'm struggling with my other fics so in the meantime I'm dropping this off to feed my children (I'm sorry I just need MORE TIME) This was just something I wrote without my two brain cells actually functioning so heads up for that info! /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

My dearest and my loved ones dis for u bae <3

Somewhere in your mind, you'd wonder how everything started but never recall the moment. Maybe it was that one time way back in March when she sent you a picture of pudding flavor ice cream because apparently, it reminded her of you. Or maybe it was when you ranted about how you had volleyball practice almost every day with no breaks making you lose your shit soon. The question of how you became so close with Hanni had come up in your mind from time to time but it would always end up with no answer. It's really not that big of a deal, where an answer was needed asap, no, it was like those shower thoughts or maybe those random questions coming up in your head at 3 am while listening to music on your headphones, something like that. Regardless, whatever or however the conversation started, you were very grateful for it because now you have someone on your side who would listen to your random yappings whether it was about that hallway crush or that annoying History teacher who mostly talks about his life rather than teaching the class. 

The memory recalls when that one time she asked about your MBTI which was trending off at that time for who knows why. You did it once before it became popular and didn't think much of it since you never really understood a thing. You just did it anyway because TikTok told you so. So why not? But to think of it now, you made a good life choice of taking a 15-minute survey with just two of your brain cells working. Because now you both were texting each other nonstop knowing you were matching MBTI's with her. "I knew it. You sound like an INFP" "What's that even supposed to mean" And in the very end, Hanni fell asleep in the middle of texting, debating whether fairies are real or not. 

Most of the time the text messages and everything else were random. Except for that one time when she got into a (not so) fight with her best friend, giving her the cold shoulder. It was about something that triggered her which made her feel uneasy. You remember clearly how Hanni had asked you to come to school earlier than you usually did because she wanted company. And how she confessed she wanted to get things back to how it used to be with her best friend while crying on your shoulder in the bathroom. Encouraging her to speak her feelings to her best friend, after some days she was smiling excitedly rushing her way to you, grabbing your arms, saying she finally "did it" telling her best friend how she felt, and now they're back on track. 

In class, she would be seated beside you and always giggle about small little things making you hold on for your dear life to not suddenly burst out laughing in the middle of the session because, for some reason, you were so easily affected by her. Her smile makes you smile, her laugh makes you laugh, and her cheeky grin addressed to you makes you roll your eyes and look at her in a sidelong look with a small smirk on your lips. Others would point out or look at you both with dumbfounded expressions because you both wouldn't stop giggling every 5 minutes and everyone in class already knew whose voices the giggles belonged to because of how frequently it would happen. 

It was before summer break had started and you were ranting at Hanni about how you won't be seeing each other once the break starts. "You'll miss me, right?" became a habit of yours to say in your everyday convos, and her replying with a "Will I tho?" made you smack the girl's arm as a set, and that also became another one of your (bad?) habits. You wanted to squeal and jump around hearing her respond "Of course" to your ask if you could randomly call her because of how you'd probably miss her a lot and feel sad out of the blue due to the lack of her presence. Talking on a call wasn't your thing because you only have two brain cells that don't function well and you left your vocabulary somewhere making you end up in a stuttering mess but, you'd rather be a stuttering mess to Hanni than spend 2 months without hearing her voice. 

One memory from another, you recall another happy moment with her. She was in the cheerleading team and you promised you'd see her cheer on the day of the game but sadly you got a high fever the night before and had to inform her you couldn't get to see her first cheer on her first game. You couldn't help but think about the disappointment in the girl's face especially when she was eager for you to come and watch. The temperature got a bit better the next day and you were debating to yourself. Yes, your head was panging in pain, yes your body was a bit hot, and yes you feel numb moving and basically doing anything. But will it be worth it to bear everything just so you could see Hanni's surprised happy expression when you go and watch her? Oh yes. You know damn well everything's worth it when it's about Hanni. 

There you were in a rushing mess, running around your room while trying to get dressed, finding the other lost pair of socks while holding a cooling gel sheet for your forehead in your hand. Running wasn't good for you since it'll make your temperature go high again but all the rushed efforts will go to waste if you missed it. Is there any other choice? Of course not, silly. By the time you got to the gates of the school, all you could hear was the rhythmical beat of your heart with your panting, trying to calm yourself before you entered the gym. Of course, she was the one who noticed you first. There it was. The face. The expression. The dimples that would show every time she smiled. Excitedly rushing to you and showering you with questions about your fever state. "Weren't you not feeling well? What are you doing here― are you okay? Are you about to pass out?" "I just couldn't miss your cheer. I for sure would've regretted it if I stayed home" Your (maybe not so bad) habit had definitely influenced her as you felt a gentle smack on your arm along with a soft giggle from the girl.

The leaves began to lose their vibrant colors, crisping up and slowly falling down with the cold breeze flowing by in November. You asked Hanni to go out and hang out in this cafe your friend told you that had the best pudding in town, which she happily agreed to, and now both of you were walking in circles at the same place lost. Having no sense of direction and the Google map not being useful at all, you decided to give up going to the place. But someone doesn't seem to be happy about it. "What do you mean, let's go to a different shop?" "No, it's fine we can just go in another time. Besides it's cold and you're not very good with the cold" You looked at the flushed red tip of Hanni's ears and nose as you mumbled. "I'm not giving up. You were so excited about the pudding, so we're going to eat that goddamn pudding" And now you were walking again with Hanni by your side but this time, you were holding hands to "keep me warm if you're that worried" 

"What are you smiling so giddily about?" You snap out of the memories and look at the girl looking at you with concerned looks. "You look creepy to be honest babe..." "Oh shut up" Replying with a playful snicker you stood up from your seat and walked your way to your girlfriend hugging her from the side, resting your chin on her shoulder. "Hey, do you remember how we became friends?" Shifting your gaze to her, slightly tilting your head as you asked so. "Uhh... I don't... think so..." She now looked at you with a puzzled look. "I think we just went with the flow" "Haha, wow I went with the flow and got a girlfriend? Must be a mastermind then" Smackng your arm, Hanni outed a chuckle. "Hey, remember when I used to smack you like that a lot but now we switched positions" "Oh I'm definitely influenced by you. Bad and good" You mocked an offended expression, holding your chest dramatically. "What's that supposed to mean...!?" Hanni laughed again and went back to making her coffee. "I definitely remember that one time you came to see me cheer with a fever" It was your turn to out a chuckle hearing her recall the memory. "Hey how about that one time we went out but then got lost midway?" "Yeah, and you insisted on finding the place, even making excuses to hold my hand" "Aaahhh shush! Shut up! I was 16 leave me alone!!" Hanni sheepishly laughed which made you laugh again as well. 

"We had meaningless conversations all the time, talking about random stuff" Sighing softly as you linger your thoughts about your past friendship with Hanni. "What do you mean, meaningless?" Hanni was now stirring her coffee, blowing it occasionally as she fixed her gaze at you. "All the conversations we had, meant everything to me" She took a sip of her coffee along with a sigh and stared at you again. You could feel the affection from her gaze and can't help but feel your chest get warmer every second with the small smile and the little dimples on her cheeks showing.

Every moment we spent together means more than anything to me than you'll ever know. 

Hanni secretly, quietly thought to her mind, while smiling at the woman she loved most.

yappers falling inlove r so cute

[paracosmic-murdock]

i still got love for you

part four: i hope for you

pairing: francesca bridgerton x fem!reader

summary: leaving for bath out of the sudden was the hardest thing you had had to do, not particularly because you had left your parents and home behind, but because your friendship with francesca bridgerton was ripped away from you a sudden summer morning.

five years later, francesca arrived in bath for the season to practice pianoforte with her aunt winnie, and finally, you see her again after thinking you had forever lost her. how much you wanted for your love to live and beat still, how much you wanted for francesca to say so.

warnings/tags: sapphic francesca bridgerton, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, am i gay quiz but make it nineteenth century somehow, smut, minors dni, inspired by an emily dickinson intimate letter to susan hunington dickinson, song: seven (taylor swift)

word count: 3.7K

❁ part one | part two | part three | part five | part six

❁ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

“Susie, will you indeed come home next Saturday, and be my own again, and kiss me as you used to? I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you, feel that I cannot wait, feel that now I must have you — that the expectation once more to see your face again makes me feel hot and feverish, and my heart beats so fast.” (Excerpt from Open me carefully: Emily Dickinson's intimate letters to Susan Hunington Dickinson by Emily Dickinson)

“That is your favorite breakfast.”

You stopped playing with your fork and looked at him. “I am not hungry.”

He ate the last bite of his dish. “Oh, and why would that be? The last time you ate was for lunch yesterday and it was almost nothing.”

“I do not know. Perhaps I am tragically ill.”

“Clearly,” He scoffed sarcastically. “You miss her.”

“I don't miss anybody, Charles. I just feel unwell.” you stated.

“You, Sister, are a terrible liar.”

“And you, Brother, are delusional.”

He shook his head and stood up, putting the napkin you had embroidered on the table before storming off without any explanation.

You rolled your eyes, drinking your berry tea.

As much as you wanted to deny it, you were pensive because you missed Francesca.

You haven't seen her since dinner a couple of weeks ago, and you couldn't help but feel bad about it.

Three days after that evening, you went to her aunt's home but were told she was not there. You left a message for her: she was invited to join you for tea the next day or whenever she wanted to, for you would be at your home every day.

You canceled quite some plans just in case she went, but she never did. And you were devastated.

It was a lovely evening, and you thought everything went really well. Perhaps it was because you had called her darling. You felt it was proper at the moment, but now, not anymore. Now, in your mind, you have made her feel uncomfortable and lost her forever.

Charles’ mind was known for hardly being made up.

Dilemma was almost his second name, and it was no secret. Always a dilemma, and now wasn't the exception.

He hates to see you upset and hurting. You are his sister, and ever since you were born, he vowed to love you and protect you. And after your parents sent you away, it was his biggest purpose.

Right now, he had no choice but to tell Francesca Bridgerton, in front of him, the reason he was there.

Charles cleared his throat. “I suppose you have an idea as to why I am here.”

“Charles…”

“Frannie, did she do something wrong?”

“No, I just…” She sighed. “I have not been feeling very well lately, that is all.”

“Are you sure?” he questioned, not quite believing her.

“Yes.” She nodded.

“My sister has been punishing herself for your absence, and… it breaks me to see her like this,” he mentioned. Francesca felt her heart break at the thought of you hurting. “Why don't you come for lunch at our home? I shall have the cooks do something you like.”

“Uh, we were invited for lunch at the Maguire's home, I am sorry…” she lied.

Charles sighed. “When can we receive you, then?”

“I do not know.” she said, looking down to her hands.

He stood up. “I really hope you know she is hurting because of your absence. She did those five years, and she has these past weeks. She loves you, and I know you love her too. And no, not in a friendly manner.”

And, just like that, he left.

Francesca sighed and watched him leave, not able to decide what to do. To stop him. To ask him. To do anything.

In truth, the reason Francesca has not visited you in weeks is because she was scared of loving you. Not for being you, but for being a woman.

Her aunt Winnie had asked her if Lord Chadwick was courting her, but she didn't quite know what to say. She just said she did not know, but her aunt was convinced he was.

Understandably so, because no man would just invite a young lady to his home so many times if he didn't have any intention to court her. What she didn't know was that the one interested in her was you. Another lady.

After the implications regarding your brother, Francesca's aunt remarked how important it was for her to marry a gentleman, a good man, wealthy, and with title. The only one Francesca wanted was you.

You, you, you… No one else.

It pained her to know that her actions were affecting you, especially because the last thing she ever wanted was to make you feel bad. She loved you, and she knew that when you love somebody, you want that person to be happy.

But you could never feel fine or happy without Francesca. You couldn't deny that. Nor would she, especially now that you have reunited. And now that she knew that you loved her, too.

In all honesty, you calling her darling was unexpected and spooked her more than she was willing to admit. Maybe because it was a term of endearment and no one had used it on her before, or maybe because you used it, confirming she was your darling. Yours. Oh, how much Francesca longed to be yours.

So she thought about you during the lunch at Chadwick House she was invited to attend but wasn't intending to, during the afternoon she would've spent playing pianoforte instead, and during the evening she was supposed to get ready to sleep but didn't. Her aunt went to sleep, and she did quite the opposite, sneaking to the backyard to get you flowers, and leaving her home for the purpose of finding you.

Francesca did not particularly come up with a plan, so when she saw herself in front of the entrance to Chadwick House without a way to get in, she got worried. However, she didn't have to worry for much longer because Charles opened the door some minutes later.

“Charles!” She flinched and hid her hands behind her back as he suddenly appeared in front of her with a confused frown.

“Francesca?” He grinned. “What are you doing here?”

Francesca shook her head. “I- uh… I came to- nothing! I was just- I am going back.”

“Frannie, with all due respect,” Charles sighed, grabbing her forearm to stop her from leaving. “Shut up. My sister is in her chambers. Third floor, second door to the left.”

“Sorry,” She pouted. “I guess-”

“Lord save me! You two are driving me mad!” he exclaimed as he covered his face with his hands. “Get in there, Francesca, and don't you dare leave before resolving whatever it is that you two have going.”

With that, he left her there and got on the awaiting carriage she had failed to notice before.

Francesca sighed, walking inside the house and following your brother's directions until she reached your door.

She knocked, but received no answer, so she opened the door to find your room empty. Francesca guessed that, perhaps, you had gone out for a walk, so she went downstairs and ended up looking at you from afar.

You were sitting in the swing and looking at the night sky in utter silence, and she almost didn't dare to interrupt you. She, however, had a purpose for her visit and wouldn't let the courage she had gathered go to waste.

Francesca sat silently in the swing beside yours without saying a word.

“Charles, I told you to let me be.” you groaned, looking opposite from 'his' face.

She cleared her throat. “This is not Charles.”

You turned around abruptly to face her.

Dear God.

“Francesca-” you whispered, almost not believing it. “Are you truly here?”

“Yes, I am here,” She smiled, showing you the tulip of an unknown color in the dark. “But, firstly, this is for you.”

You smiled weakly.

At the silence, she spoke. “I, uh- I had to see you.”

“What for?”

“To apologize,” she replied and sighed, getting ready for the speech she had prepared the whole afternoon. “For not coming back after dinner. I… I was scared because you called me darling, and it made me realize that I might not be… alone in these feelings I find impossible to name. It felt real out of the sudden, and I was not prepared for it. I thought about them all those days and reached to a conclusion I was dreading: that I love you. Not like a girl who is fond of her childhood best friend or like a girl who has such dear affection for a sister, no; I love you like one loves the person that is to be their spouse, their love match. I know well enough that this is not something a woman is supposed to feel for another woman, but I do, and I have reasons to believe you do as well. Please, tell me I am not alone in this feeling, for I believe that love could never be as profound as mine for you were it not reciprocated.”

You grabbed the rope of her swing and pulled her close to you. “I love you, my darling. I love you so much that I fear the word love is not enough to grasp all that I feel for you. It is pathetic, the way your proximity makes my whole being combust in yearning; it is alluring, the way your eyes can heal all that chaos when they look into mine. Having you here with me, under the full moon and in a field of violets, is the utmost proof of how sacred this love is. How sacred we must treat it. Being yours is the ultimate purpose of my existence, and I would be beyond grateful to you if you allowed me to honor it by loving you devotedly and cherishing you adoringly.”

Francesca exhaled and hesitated for a single, intrusive second. She, right then and there, kissed your lips softly. There was doubt and insecurity, but you managed to wash it out by kissing her back with a passion she couldn't have even dreamt of.

“Would you like to stay for the night? It is far too late for you to return home by yourself and we do not have another carriage available. I fear Charles will not return until tomorrow.” you proposed, standing up and offering her your hand to do so, too.

Francesca nodded, now standing as well, and staring at your lips.

You smirked, closing the distance promptly.

You did not know how to kiss, but the two of you would certainly learn that night.

Of course there was an extra room, but there was no need for that. Despite the last sleepover being five years ago, there was still this feeling of comfort and intimacy shared between you and her.

“I know that sharing a bed has never been an issue for us,” you began. “But, if you wish, I could have the help bring another bed for you.”

“No!” she exclaimed, regretting the haste and reluctance of her answer. “I mean, no. It is not necessary, for your bed is big enough for the both of us.”

You nodded with a smile. “Would you like for me to get a maid to help you get ready to sleep? I might as well call-”

“No, There should be no need. We could help each other, is that not right?” she answered shyly. You were surprised to hear that, but thought nothing of it, ignoring the warmth taking over your body at the mere idea. “I- well, I- I did not mean it like… if you… if you want to. I do not have a problem. If you do, it is alright if you-”

“Yes, it is alright.” you agreed, approaching her and pointing to the bed with your head. “I had a maid bring a sleeping chemise for you… should you like for me to-?”

She nodded, undoing her coiffure before you got to her. “Yes, I should like for you to help me now.”

Francesca didn't know what was going on in herself. Her words seemed to come out before she could process them and her intentions were rather unclear even to herself.

Now, she was in front of you. Your hesitant hands trembled lightly as you started taking her dress off. Francesca let out a soft gasp when your fingers grazed her skin, noticing your closeness as she leaned closer to you, not creating contact just yet but desiring so, so very anxiously. You started undoing her corset slowly, trying to take in every second of proximity existent between you, the fervid hunger invading the moment.

Francesca let out a shaky breath, leaning toward you and, this time, she was actually resting her weight on you timidly. She whispered your name, almost silently enough for you to not hear.

But you always heard her.

Her head was resting on your shoulder, touching your cheek with her cheekbones. “I love you.”

You kissed her cheek gently and then went to her neck. You left slight bites on her skin and moaned as she pressed herself onto you slightly more.

“I love you, too,” you reminded her, and it felt as if it was the very first time you told her so. “I will never not.”

You kissed her shoulders and put your hands on her hips.

“I think we are…” you whimpered as she intertwined your hands with hers. “We are doing something we most likely should not.”

She exhaled with difficulty. “What would that be?”

“I saw them,” you began. “Anne and Petunia, my maids, they- I saw them doing this.”

“This?”

“Making love.”

Your answer left her in a place between confusion and oblivious understanding. She knew, but also she did not.

“What does it mean?”

“I went for a late night walk in the backyard and heard some noises,” you told her. “Chadwick House is not as big as the Devereaux Manor, so we do not need as much help, nor do we have enough room for more. Some of the help that stays at the house has to share a room, so my two lady maids do. I know where their room is, so, upon hearing the sounds, I peeked through the window in case something had happened. And I saw them… As soon as my shock subsided, I ran back to my chambers, but not without seeing them like we are now. They were kissing and touching each other, nude.”

Francesca frowned. “How do you know what it is called?”

“A few days later, I asked Charles about it, but I never said I had seen them. I told him I had heard it somewhere,” you answered. “He panicked and told me not to speak of such things ever again. Then, he said those are things men and women do after they marry, but that some men do it without marrying and that it was normal, but respectable ladies like me could not do so under any circumstance… So, naturally, I ended up asking Anna about it and blaming it on Charles. She said that it is called making love and that people do it to consummate their marriage. I told her that Charles said some men do, but that ladies like me cannot, so she explained to me that it is said that women lose their worth after doing that and must be valuable for deserving a marriage. Also, we could get pregnant when doing it with a man, but men do not have to worry about themselves being with child; I, then, asked if men did it with men or women with women, and she said it was possible but not well seen at all, so I should not do it unless I love and trust the woman, but that I must be careful and not tell a soul about it because it was a display of love, goodness, and intimacy that deserves to be cherished and not broken by society's discrimination. Anne also said that it is supposed to feel quite pleasurable. That is how I know.”

She nodded, taking a few seconds to think about it and analyze the situation.

“Can we… do that?” Francesca asked, some boldness whose origin she unfortunately ignored.

“Oh,” Your eyes met hers as she turned around. “Well, if you want to… I mean, I want to, but only if you do as well, uh… Do you want to?”

“Yes, I want to make love with you.” She smiled confidently.

“Are you sure?”

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life,” Francesca assured you, giving you a quick kiss on the lips. “Can I take off your gown?”

A soft exhale left your lips at the thought. “You can take all of me, my darling.”

Francesca smiled a little, pressing her forehead to yours. Your noses brushed each other's before you kissed.

And, when it happened, you could only describe it as mystical. With her, everything felt like magic.

You thought, more often than not, that you weren't built for this world. You weren't built for this society because you wanted nothing but her and to be able to dance with her at balls, to just say ‘this is my wife’ to everyone you met, to love her freely.

You weren't built for a society that kept you away from her.

You wanted to be with her like this always, to feel the tip of her fingers brush your skin and cause goosebumps, to stand naked before her and her before you, just like you were now.

“What are we supposed to do now?” she asked.

You shrugged. “Shall we find out?”

She chuckled nervously, feeling like the fire lighting up the room was actually inside of her. Francesca nodded, giving you the needed cue to end the distance between you two and kiss her.

It was hesitant at first. You didn't know what to do with your hands, so you just put her hair behind her ear, deepened the kiss, and then cupped her face. Meanwhile, Francesca freed your hair and rested her hands on your shoulders, not knowing what to do either.

She ended the kiss, looking at you with a glint of need in her shy hazel eyes. She sighed, all her fears leaving her body with that exhale. Her hands went to the back of your neck to pull you close and began kissing there, imitating what you were doing when you helped her undress.

You held her by her waist and her hands traveled your shoulders and her fingers drew burning, irregular shapes on your back. “This feels good.”

“It does.” She smiled against your skin.

In an attempt to get closer, you put your leg between hers and pulled her until your skin was on hers. Which also meant that you were close enough for your thigh to touch her core.

The moan she let out was almost delirious and the way her hips bucked in response caused her thigh to stumble upon you.

Your eyes met, both silently agreeing that what you just did felt, oh, so good.

Francesca swallowed hard and looked down as she bucked her hips to provoke the same feeling to both of you.

“God,” you moaned, holding her tightly against you and moving like she moved. “My bed.”

When you pulled apart to go to the bed, a strange emptiness took over you. It was not only emotional, as if missing each other a bit; it was physical, too. A warm and wet something was left on your thighs as a result of your pleasure, which came as a surprise because neither of you had any idea what any of what you were doing was, but you did know how good it felt.

Once you were finally sitting on your bed, you looked at each other as if asking for permission, but then you realized how absurd it was to ask, to wait, to hesitate, so you kissed, this time hungrily and intensely. The way you clumsily returned to your previous position gave away how much you needed each other.

You were so clumsy and careless, that this time it wasn't your thighs but your cores that met, and you cried out at how terribly delicious that contact felt.

“This… feels so…” Francesca began, not able to come up with the words that could describe how she was feeling, so she just kept moving with you and moaning your name loudly.

“Good?” you panted.

“Better than- than good,” she replied, her breath labored. “Great.”

Hearing her be vocal about this was unexpected to say the least. However, you found it exciting and hot. “How do you feel, Fran?” you encouraged her to speak, craving to hear her say things about this very wonderful moment.

“Great,” she replied, a strange pressure building inside her very being. “This- I like… this.”

You kissed her eagerly, harshly, to then ask. “Do you?”

“Yes…” She nodded, kissing you again as your hands traveled to her hips and then used the contact to guide her to be faster and pull her close enough to apply more pressure.

Francesca broke the kiss, her head falling back and giving you access to her neck. You sucked her skin, beginning to notice how she had some burning red spots on the places your mouth has been to before.

A desperate moan left your lips when a sensation started to form deep inside you, and she was feeling it, too. You could only describe it as if you were running from a great distance to a cliff, and everything you were doing in the earthly world made the inside you run faster and faster until you reached the edge. And there, Francesca was waiting for you to see how you slowed down for a second, only so she could hold your hand and jump with you.

In both the earthly and imaginary world, you moaned her name loudly as you fell off the edge of the cliff, or as you came with her.

She moaned and gasped, and hid her head against your neck to muffle the sounds she was making.

“Do not hold back,” you told her, feeling your orgasm last so very long. “I wish to hear you, please.”

Francesca obeyed you, pressing her forehead to yours and moaning your name against your lips.

It was so innocent, yet so sensual. It felt right, but, oh, so immoral. And carnal. And fascinating. Scandalous, beautiful, mystical, sinful.

You didn't stop until it was too much. Her embrace didn't end, and she wanted anything but.

“I love you.” you whispered, guiding her to lie on the bed with you.

She smiled. “I love you, too.”

“I am so happy that you still had love for me.” You kissed her softly.

“I will always have love for you.” Francesca replied.

You stared at each other in silence. Her hand was on your cheek, caressing it, and yours drew delicate patterns on the soft skin of her hips.

“Can we do this again?” Francesca asked.

You smiled. “Can we?”

“I should like that.”

“Me as well.”

taglist: @swiftholic-13 @kenzieisgone @urmultifandomfan

[beomoa]

WHERE.. AM I?..

( monster trio. )

request \\ Can I ask for Platonic Yandere! Luffy , Zoro and Sanji with Isekai!Y/n ? By that I mean , Y/n is from real world but got teleported into their world?

a/n // whoever was this person, when are we getting married.

Cws // dark content?, possessive behaviour, kinda proofread?, implied drugging.

AFAB READER.

LUFFY

It has been a while since you've been sent into this "universe" you're starting to get used to this "pirate life" But every time you try to tell them "Please drop me off on a town or maybe a village, I'll be fine-" You instantly get cut off by the captain himself, luffy frowns. Everytime you try to leave the ship, he gets upset, your new to this kind of things! Let him guide you till you can go back alright? You don't need to fight, just sit still and have fun. Don't try to leave. You don't get to have this everyday in your world right?

"Where are you going?" Luffy said, with curiosity, but not that curiosity you usual see this time.. It feels like it's an order for you to answer his question. "Im leaving here! Thank you guys for taking care of me.. I know I was careless sometimes but-" There it is again, getting cut off by him "you don't need to leave y/n. You can join this crew! Don't you want to stay? Do that town have something we don't?" He "responded" With such.. You don't know.. Sarcasm? Is he mad? "I'm just.. I don't like it when people attack this ship alright? It's just sudden.. It's a thing I can't get used to.. It's stressing me out, my body is fragile, I'm aware of that, thanks for not letting me fight or just straight up told me I can do nothing when people invade the ship but.. It's just.. I can't handle seeing this kind of things.. It's normal for you guys because it's your world! Not mine! If this happen to my world I don't know how to even survive..!" You slightly yelled, yet hes still staring at you, confused? Shock? What?!

"Then I'll put you in a room. When we fight, your gonna stay in a room. A room where it's silent, and relaxing when I fight enemies, just for you.. I'll make Franky build it. Stay." There he goes to his reasonings why you can stay. "But-" Please let me say something.

"You'll stay now right? Right y/n? After the room is made, you can put your things in that room.. if you want something I'll buy it. You'll stay now right? Please?"

ZORO

You didn't believe that your life became this way, you sat on the deck watching the sea, it's relaxing, you wanna leave.. But you can't. Why, why can't you leave? Zoro, the former pirate hunter is stopping you, it's been almost 9 months since youve been in this.. World. And it looks like zoro, you catched his attention. "..i think I'm going back in my real world after this month.. im feeling the same " Symptoms" When I got here..ahh.. Can't wait.." you said, in a tired but excited word. "Hah?" Zoro, that acted like your older brother responded, he was clearly not happy that you're finally coming back to that..world you live in. "I'm coming back to my own world! I can't wait to go back.. I think I have.. About 3 and a half days till I get back" You giggled, happy, excited, zoro was the opposite. He wanted you to stay a bit longer..wait no, actually he wants you to stay here. Like you actually was born to this world except of that.. World you live in, he wants you to keep trainibg with him, nap, eat. Just like any big brother would.

After 4 days you didn't come back. At all, when you opened your eyes, excited to see your room, your.. Really own room. But except you woke up in his room, seeing his three swords really work you up. What happened? Why didn't you come back?

"Your awake, glad. The cook said breakfast ready, come on get up" Why is he acting..so normal? Your so confused. A lot of question filled your mind that was left unanswered. What.. Happened..?

SANJI

"Y/n-chan, it's time for snacks! Here you go.." He's so gentle with you, he's like a brother to you..but everytime you try to go to an adventure to anyone especially with luffy.. He's always with you. saying that he wants to come with you, just so you and the person you were with doesn't get lost.. except nami or Robin. He covers it up with wanting to protect you guys.

"Sanji.. I feel so.." As your vision blacked out. Your head fell on the counter, he slightly bit his bottom lip. He left the stove, and looked at you, with care and gentleness "I'm sorry.. I don't want you to come back on that horrible world." while he caresses your head, he positioned himself and lifted you up.

you woke up in your room, tucked in.. Feeling so comfortable.. ".. S.. Sanji.. Where.." You were panicking. No person cane through your mind except sanji, only sanji is the one who saves you from troubles somehow. "Y/n..Your awake!.. Don't worry, your just in my room. You missed breakfast... We're you okay my dear?" He asked with such gentle voice. Caring and gentle voice. It feels like.. Something was wrong. What happened? It feels like something was erased but what?..

".. y/n-san.. Are you feeling alright? Is something wrong?" You were starting to look around. "No nothing.. I.. did something happened..?" You asked, he tilted his head and shakes it. "No dear..probably a dream that was wrong wasn't it? It's okay, come on, let's not miss lunch alright?"

What.. Was it? Why were you doing?

[captain-mj]

Hey gimme that alien thing

Glad you finally sent me this! I loved talking about it with you! btw if you guys want to talk about an idea, feel free to message me

This is really horny but Roach is a human biologist with an alien Soap and Ghost (different species).

Roach felt weird being the only human on ship sometimes. He and Ghost were also the only species evolved from predators which only made it worse. His instinct to smile or stare at them directly when they spoke made most of them uncomfortable, too reminiscent of what they expected from the apex predators of their worlds.

Roach would never blame them! It was their instincts that made them afraid just as much as it was his instincts to be polite. He tried not to get irritated at them when they'd flinch or make a big deal of telling him that he was "Staring predatorily" again. Eventually, he just covered the bottom of his face so he didn't have to worry about it.

Ghost understood. He looked like a predator. Unlike Roach who was omnivorous, Ghost was an obligatory carnivore. Beside occasionally eating these plants that tasted like mint, he only ate meat. His teeth mostly resembled several canines, though some were clearly meant to break bones. His ears were sharp and pointed like a cat that could easily swivel all the way around. A fascinating part of his biology was his voice. Or more accurately, his vocal cords. They were designed to mimic sounds. His voice was not his own. Apparently, it came from some man from Manchester that talked to him and then was killed later. Didn't even remember his name. Just noticed it put others at ease.

"Gary." Ghost purred, sounding like gravel. "You're doing it again."

Roach shrugged. "I like categorizing our crew mates. I am a biologist."

"Planning on exploring my anatomy again?" Giant dark eyes with vertical pupils stared at him. Meant for hunting at night. Ghost looked amused with him.

Roach hated that he wore a mask. His features were gorgeous. Sharp and attractive. But he refused to unlearn baring his teeth and looking calm all the time. So he wore a mask just as Roach did. Kept himself carefully under wraps. He heard rumors that Ghost was disliked by his own species. Roach couldn't think of a reason why.

Ghost and Roach stayed perched where they were, staring down at everyone below. They acted so... odd. Almost herd like.

Except for Soap.

Johnny Soap MacTavish.

Roach would love to explore his anatomy. Maybe his psyche as well. He was a strange man. Right now, he was sniffing the air and looking around, soft deer like ears flicking up. Roach had a feeling the creature he evolved from was similar from a Cervinae. His ears were so big and soft, designed to hear things for miles. Long legs meant to run quickly and a poof of a tail that seemed to mostly just give away his mood. Roach wasn't sure what other uses it would have. Despite the sniffing, Roach knew he was not that sensitive to smell. He had to rely on his hearing and sight. It was close to impossible for any of them to sneak up on them.

Well, not Roach and Ghost. It was almost too easy for them unless Roach wore his cologne. Soap never seemed to mind. He never scolded Roach for walking too close or jumped out of Ghost's way when he saw him coming through.

Soap had giant eyes. His face looked very human because of it. And... innocent. Roach knew he wasn't. Soap had made jokes so dirty they turned Roach's ears red. He seemed to find a special joy in it. But it was hard when giant blue eyes blinked at him.

Ghost tapped sharp nails against the metal they were sitting on. Roach watched it.

"Nervous tic?"

"Hunting instinct. It's to check if my nails are sharp enough."

"You can't eat crew." Roach gently reminded.

"Two types of hunting, Gary. There are more hungers than just food." Ghost stood up, long tail lashing behind him. Roach wished he knew what it meant. His species relied mostly on body language, meaning he probably spoke volumes more than he bothered to translate to Roach.

Instead, he finally went downstairs to eat. He sat next to Ghost like usual.

Unlike usual, Soap sat in front of them. He seemed agitated, ears and tail twitching every few seconds. However, he straightened up and tilted his head at them, ear standing up. It was his version of smiling and looking Roach in his eyes.

Ghost pulled his food a little closer to himself, eating faster. Roach followed suit. It felt really weird, eating meat in front of Soap. He didn't miss the way his eyes followed it, watching it disappear into Roach's mouth.

Soap started to eat his own food. "Is it true humans regularly drink coffee? I heard it's toxic."

"To a lot of species, it is. It's because of the caffeine. You would probably be fine."

Soap hummed. "Is the stuff here any good?"

Roach shook his head immediately. "No. Next time I find some good coffee, I'll tell you."

Soap leaned forward, giant eyes blinking at him. They didn't look him head on. Just slightly down but still more direct than was considered proper. Roach stared at him openly and watched him blush. He didn't seem scared though, so he didn't look away.

The three of them kept eating. Ghost licked his fingers, getting the blood off of it. Roach grimaced and he grinned.

"Not my fault you need it to be cooked."

Soap tilted his head. "Because of bacteria right? Meat contains more bacteria and potential parasites so humans need it to be heated."

"What's an engineer doing researching humans?" Roach turned his attention back to Soap, watching his flinch and the way his eyes tilted back down.

"I research all my crew mates."

Ghost leaned in. "Need to know what might eat you?"

"Need to know which machines are more vital. How much oxygen is the right level? Nitrogen? If one of the machine for food storage fails, what needs to be prioritized?"

"And you decide that?"

"On paper? Not at all. In reality? Yes. I fix the machines. I'm the first person that messes with them. If an emergency happened, I don't always have time for order."

Ghost tilted his head. "And what would you prioritize?"

"High nitrogen levels. High oxygen isn't a necessity. It would awful to make you wear a mask, Roach, but if you need to, you'd have a much easier time and you'd be the only one really affected as long as we kept the oxygen levels above about eight percent. Also, you guy's food. Hungry herbivores for a few days means some complaining. Irritation. Hungry you two? One of us might be on the menu. Risky business."

"Saying I can't control myself?" Ghost leaned in, giant teeth bared. The still healing mark on Roach's shoulder throbbed.

Soap swallowed, looking at his mouth. "Aye. That's exactly what I'm saying. If you had to eat one of the crew, who would it be?"

Roach hummed. "Morbid question. I could live on plants for a good while."

Ghost licked his teeth. Black tongue dripping with blood. He swallowed. "I'm meant to survive a few weeks with no food. I'm sure they'd hurry up and get food before I start getting dangerous."

Soap nodded quickly. "Still. Question remains. Hopefully, I never have to get a proper answer." He smiled. It was an awkward expression, one he clearly wasn't used to making. "Regardless, I hold you two in high esteem. I doubt either of you would ever be dangerous if it could be helped. I'll talk to you both later." Whatever had irritated him before seemed to have gone away.

Roach got a weird feeling that he was both being mocked and also complimented.

Ghost left before Roach could turn to him to keep talking. He didn't need a translation to read his body language as irritated.

Soap continued to get closer. He had never been one that looked afraid, but now he seemed almost comfortable around them.

Roach found himself drawing in closer. Bewitched by Soap. A simple taste and maybe he'd be cured.

The next time the three of them were together, because it was always the three of them, that Soap smiled again. It looked more natural and both Ghost and Roach wondered if he practiced it.

Ghost thought of slipping off his mask. To stare directly into Soap and see if it made him afraid. That or grab that little tail of his and bend him over the desk.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was the mating time of his lunar year. It meant nothing to anyone else. He did not emit hormones or act like an animal or try to drag people into his office or room for the sole purpose of fucking.

Ghost just got a little easier to irritate and his mind would come up with silly things. Like how Soap could manage to look past his claws and his teeth. With Roach, it was easy to ignore. His nails were similar enough to Soap's. Their hands, though differently sized, were the same general way. Ghost's finger were longer. Made to grip and hold struggling things. Scars dotting him.

Roach saw him as a bit of fun. A "chance to satisfy scientific curiosity" about what certain aliens looked like unclothed. He had said so himself while Ghost had been undressed in his bed. Above him and vulnerable. His gentle hands holding Ghost's shoulders when he felt like he'd shake apart from the sweet contact.

It was silly to think things would change between them or that Soap would be any different. They were... better than Ghost was. Far better. He was a problem. Incorrect on his own planet. Incorrect here. Too big or too small.

Soap's hand on his shoulder caught his attention and his eyes flicked over to him. "Save ya a seat, sir?" He looked to the left of Ghost's ear. It gave the illusion of directness. Horribly rude normally. It made Ghost want to touch. To feel connection.

How pathetic of him. He still sat in the seat Soap saved.

Soap was enraptured by the two of them. Their sharp eyes. Lean muscle designed for endurance. The teeth.

He was well aware his tastes were... well. Among his people, they would outcast him in moments. Finding those traits so alluring. Despite being almost their height, only about two inches shorter than Roach and six under Ghost, he knew they could easily pick him up. He was built for speed. Short bursts to easily get away from things just like them.

Soap had tried to push it down. The feeling of longing. The jealousy when they so easily understood each other. He knew logically that it was just because they were the ones that stuck out. But they fit together so well and Soap wanted that. Yes, he could play pretend and get people's attention all day long, but it never felt substantial.

They never looked at him. While they should be normal. He shouldn't want to be viewed. The way Ghost and Roach looked at him as if he had their whole attention. How their eyes trained on his in a way that monsters had before pouncing. It made his heart race. His mouth go dry.

Soap wanted. longed. needed. He wasn't sure what. Maybe it was as simple as just their attention.

He got it when Ghost put his hand on his back. His hands. They were made to rip apart things like Soap. Get inside and devour. But it was gentle. Sweet even. Just a careful press. His tail started to swish side to side like wild and he could feel the tip brushing against Ghost's gloves. He found it hard to breathe.

"Johnny."

"Simon."

His thumb started to rub in circles. "Roach is omnivorous. He would survive just fine without meat for a while, it's just not their ideal diet. It's why he wouldn't answer your question that day."

"oh."

"But me? I'd eat the accountant that lives in the room next to mine."

Soap looked up at him. "Why?"

"He's the closest thing to a creature I had on my home world. It's from the water. A lovely little thing. You just pop those in your mouth and sink your teeth in. I think he'd taste similar."

Soap nodded. "You've thought about it?"

Ghost hummed. "Emergencies as you said. Sometimes, we don't have time to think. And if came down to it. Well. I'd rather make a level headed decision instead of a rash one. Might hurt someone valuable."

"It's cruel to place us on a value system."

"Not much different than you decide who breathes easy. I'd rather eat an accountant than my only engineer."

Soap did not miss that Ghost said "my engineer". Not the ships. Not even ours. Just my. He looked at him and swallowed.

Slowly, he moved closer. Their tails brushed and he didn't miss the way Ghost's breath caught. For Soap, it was a bit like brushing hands. A simple gesture to show affections. Judging by Ghost's reaction, he had a feeling for him, it may mean a bit more.

Roach caught up to the two of him. His eyes were crinkled like he was smiling. Soap wanted to see it properly. Without the mask. Those beautiful brown eyes. He felt weak to them. He had once heard the term "puppy dog eyes" and when he looked at Roach, he thought he might understand the phrase. While they did not quite match the canines he had seen (and quickly learned to loathe), they did have the same adorableness. They were also perfect for begging as Roach had proved countless times by looking at him and asking politely to try whatever Soap was eating. He gave it up each time without a second thought, even though it could never be reciprocated.

"Soap. You look nice today."

His heart somehow sped up more. It hurt his chest. "Ah. Thank you. You look lovely yourself."

Roach's ears went red and they fell back in line. It felt easier when the three of them were together.

Soap stayed with them late in to the night as Roach did his research. He studied one of the new animals he had gotten from a planet, gently coaxing it to eat. It was like a moth, though it's wings were made of a material he was not familiar. Standard procedure would lead him to dissect the poor thing, but... well. He felt too guilty.

Ghost kept glancing at Soap. Usually, if he and Roach were alone in his lab, he could convince him to come to bed with him. That didn't work if Soap was there.

"So, why is a high ranking member of the ship such as yourself sitting in here while a biologist works?" Soap asked.

Roach hummed. "Ghost helps me with experiments occasionally." He gently grabbed one of the... scales? that had fallen off his creature. He slid it under a microscope.

"What experiments? Maybe I could also be of assistance?" Soap's tail wagged. He looked so excited.

Ghost huffed. "He means we have sex."

The wagging stopped and Roach whipped around. "Simon."

"What?" Ghost's tail twitched. He was getting agitated. It wasn't Soap's fault but Ghost wanted... fuck he just wanted.

Soap had a pretty blush on his face. "My apologies. I didn't mean to interrupt."

Roach paused. "Actually. Soap. Could you..." He looked at him.

Soap paused before swallowing thickly. Alone. With two predators. Being asked... "You want me to... what?"

"Undress for me. I've been curious because most of the diagrams we have of your species don't cover everything. So, if you really would like to assist me." Roach batted his eyelashes.

Damn those puppy dog eyes.

Soap swallowed and started to unbutton his clothes. He was always so confident around them. Always ready to push further. As his shirt slid off his shoulders, so did any form of bravado he might've had. His hands shook as he undid his belt, fear and arousal fighting hard. They wouldn't hurt him. He knew that. But they were looking at him.

"Take off your mask." Soap asked as he pulled the belt from his loops.

Roach slowly did. Pretty mouth. Freckles.

Ghost didn't quite yet.

Soap kicked off his shoes. "Please, sir."

His mask fell on the floor next to Soap's shirt. Giant teeth. Scarring. Gorgeous hair that kinked and curled.

Soap finished undressing and closed his eyes. He resisted the urge to cover himself up.

Roach's hands, he could tell by the softness and bluntness of the nails, brushed against him. Every bit the scientist, he actually did take notes. Measurements and pictures. He gently tilted his head so his face would not be seen.

"Why do you have a tail?"

"What?" Soap felt like he was on fire. He didn't know where Ghost was but he could feel their gazes burning into him. Normally, he'd say with certainty that his body was attractive but was it what they'd find attractive?

"What purpose does it serve? Is it behavioral? For balance?"

Ghost grabbed Soap's tail and his free hand was on his waist, moving him easily. Soap gasped, mouth hanging open and more blood rushed to his face as his body reacted. "Think I found it. Mark that it's a mating thing."

Roach actually did. Soap could hear the scratching of the pencil and it made his head spin. It was so cold and calculated and borderline cruel but he liked it. Liked that Ghost's hands tightened their grip.

Breath right against his ear. "Johnny. Are you okay?"

"Yes." Soap nodded frantically, mouth falling open as Ghost gently ran his fingers down his side. He burned all the way through. It only got worse when Roach's deft fingers touched his cock.

"Similar anatomy to a human's." Roach had a tinge of disappointment in his voice. "I wonder." He gently traced his fingers up and down and Ghost's hands were the only thing that kept Soap still. "Soap. Am I okay to continue?" Gary sounded unbearably sweet. Both of them breathing him in and he was stuck between the two of them.

"Yes, please. Please."

Ghost's mouth pressed to his throat at his pulse. They sank to the floor, careful with him. Roach used something on his fingers to make them slick and then he was gently pressing against Soap's hole. Ghost's hands kept his legs spread and Soap's hands were split between holding on to Roach's shoulder and desperately exploring Ghost's chest.

Soap panted softly. The texture of Roach's hands was... new. It felt so good. He wanted to try something. Carefully, remembering where he was, he tilted his head and pressed his mouth to Ghost's. His tongue gently lapped at Soap's lips.

Soap came with a shudder, body tensing.

Roach hummed. "That was a lot faster than I was expecting." He went to pull away and Soap quickly yanked him back.

"I'm meant for multiple rounds, just keep going. Please keep going, whatever you want to try on me." Soap kept kissing Ghost, pulling him closer.

Roach smiled and gently bit the inside of his thigh, loving the little shivers and tremors that ran through Soap. He gently pulled his fingers out and Soap whined.

"Gary?"

Roach kissed his tummy which made dozens of butterflies erupt in both of their stomachs. "Do you think I could fuck you properly?"

Soap nodded desperately.

Roach undid his pants and looked at Ghost. His dark eyes. The way his teeth stabbed into his bottom lip. "Take turns? You're quite a bit bigger. Might be a good idea."

Ghost nodded and kept Soap held open. It was for the best, he'd be too worried he'd hurt Soap to really enjoy himself. This also gave him a very, very good view. Roach went to bury his face in Soap's neck and Ghost growled, making it clear he wanted to see both of their faces. His face went a brilliant red as he kept eye contact with him. Soap still had his eyes closed, lost to the world and in utter bliss and that's where Ghost wanted to keep him. Blunt nails and claws dug into him, keeping him in place. Sharp teeth and rough tongues ran over his throat and his shoulders and his collarbones. Marks that wouldn't heal for weeks.

Soap arched so hard Ghost worried he'd snap as he came again, making tiny, almost pained moans. And then he came a third time. He was almost at the end of his fourth when Roach came in him. Soap groaned when Roach pulled out of him but he was immediately moving again. He tried to copy the way they nipped at him, biting at Ghost's throat. It sent something sharp up Ghost's spine and he picked Soap up with ease and twisted him. His face was pressed to Roach's chest and he pulled his arms behind his back before sinking into him.

Ghost growled softly and his head fell back. He didn't let Soap have a moment before he pulled back and Soap writhed, feeling an odd sensation.

"Fuck, fuck..." Soap cursed and sniffled. "You're... Yeah, you're big. You..."

Roach cupped Soap's face and looked at him, loving the way he squirmed. "His anatomy is unique. Ridges along each inch that give a great feeling. I could bore you with my theories on the evolutionary process but judging by your expression, I think you're a little too cock drunk for that."

Soap most definitely was. His eyes were unfocused but staring back. Desperate. He reached up and managed to kiss Roach. Ghost continued to count Soap's orgasms. A fifth. Sixth. Seventh. He really was meant for multiple rounds. Maybe later, he and Roach could talk. See how many they could get out of him.

Ghost yanked him to his chest and shoved all the way in as he came inside him. Soap finished one last time, barely lucid anymore. He tried to press down on him, get him even deeper. His body fluttered as he let out beautiful little whimpers.

Ghost put Soap over his shoulder and snatched up Roach who had just managed to grab their clothes. They were a bit heavy, but it wasn't difficult to carry them. Well, except for Roach squirming and insisting he get them both dressed. He did not, instead bringing them to his room. He curled around the two of them, tucking them both into him and dragging Roach back when he tried to get out of bed to get dressed.

"No."

Roach sighed and put his head on Ghost's chest. "Fine. Fine. You're lucky no one saw us."

Ghost didn't mention the cameras. He'd just delete the footage in the morning.

[sgiandubh]

Has Purv deactivated her account? Couldn't handle this past weeks events perhaps 🤧

Dear Deactivate Anon,

I could not care less, but I highly doubt it. You can't teach an old hand new tricks.

On another planet, though, things are getting interesting:

This Anon is just a crude copy and paste of the original Anon sent to me yesterday: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/753697137088495616/hello-im-a-huge-ol-fan-and-just-recently-came?source=share

You can see the copy and paste very clearly in the area I underlined in red. 'Anons doing the rounds', my foot - this confirms you read everything I post (and copy a LOT) and this also confirms you lie. The user calling you out only sent that Anon to me, upon my request.

So you see, Madam, I can confirm every single word written by the one who really sent that Anon first as a DM to me, thinking probably that I would screencap it, but wishing to remain Anon. I explained her my house rules and kindly asked her to go Anon, if she wanted me to post her message. And yes, this is the ONLY exception I am going to make to my complete non disclosure rule, as far as DMs go, in agreement with her. Also, the reason I shall not screencap our very interesting convo. As all of you know, safety and confidentiality are of paramount importance to me.

What happened afterwards with that Anon is out of both our hands, Anon and I. Either you or someone you know copy/pasted a twisted version of it and sent it to you(rself). I cannot even start to tell you how dishonest your gesture is. Inserting yourself in a conversation that was not meant to include you, just in order to post your endless, contrived braggadocio about you being a genius and all the rest of us, idiots ... I really, really have no words.

I would have readily accepted the blogger's irritated reply, were it not for this tiny detail:

Sock account, of course. Followed me very recently (yesterday?), but I couldn't tell you when, exactly. Now, I know who my two Dutch readers and friends are and they surely do not need a secondary account to read me or get in touch with me.

I am not very sure what the fuck is going on, here. Oh, sod it, I sure am.

PS: for the other doll who posted that other comment, on that blogger's page, calling me an S only - you lie and you know that very well. But you people are so fucking narrow minded, that you need a troll to tell you what to think. Get a life, seriously.

[orikiys]

🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!’. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

You are not ACAB. You're an asshole

SO this post has been a long time coming and I have sent a rant to several people to look over it for me just so I could get opinions. And most agreed with what I had to say. However it was mean, callous, and too "I'm ok being an shithead" for my taste.

If I am being 100% honest, people hate cops just to hate cops. It's not because there are cops that do wrong. It's just because they are told to/programmed to hate cops. Ok, so why do I say that?

Well a few reasons.

For the past 40 years *minimum* it has been a point of the media to showcase any time a cop does anything bad. Because what better way to "Reach the people" than to assuage them with a "Hello fellow Americans. Doesn't it suck with cops get on our ass about stuff".

Social media has been using bait for years in order to get more traffic to more links and articles. This alone has made rage baiting as an entirety more of an issue.

Because of both of the above, there was a time when alt media *at the time* and social media worked in tandem to constantly show off instances of cops being assholes or outright doing things that were illegal.

So what does this mean. Well it means that you are under a notion that is already provided to you. "Cops are ruthless bad guys that don't do anything for anyone at all".

Except that's not even remotely true. What is true is that often, any positive stories involving cops is buried or glossed over and only ever talked about in very local reports. What's more a cops job is to do the right thing. So when a cop does do the right thing, the understanding is that they are not meant to receive praise. However, that is lopsided in how it works. It more or less means that you are under the LARGEST of microscopes, and if you fuck up at ALL, then you end up as a youtube video that reinforces that "Cops are bad guys" or "Cops are stupid and annoying". Rather than the truth which is that cops themselves are human beings.

Now. I can already see the comment from the shitheads. "ACAB EXISTS BECAUSE-" Shut it. I don't care. Unlike most of you I understand nuance. And more than that, I've had poor run-in's with cops. I have also had to work along side them as private security as well. And my mother, who's not shy about telling people they fucked up, worked as Dispatch and as a Secretary for the PD in the small city we lived in. "Oh well then your brainwashed", you can say that but it does not make you right.

Unlike you, clearly I'm able to think critically about subjects where as you are not. Am I a "Back the Blue" cultist? Absolutely not. I'm solely in the camp of Abolish Unions and hold officers to account for what they do wrong.

However, having said that, Cops duty to uphold the law sometimes manifests in ways that we don't like. Like Uvalde. The cops were in their rights to stop the shooter, but the top brass would have decimated any officer that decided to not follow his order of standing down. I don't think that's ok. Hell that entire chain of command should have faced a lawsuit. But where they DID properly enforce the law, is stopping parents from going in. Because had a parent gone by cops in order to stop the shooter, at that point, it legally could have been considered vigilantism.

Regardless of the moral implications of that, fact is, that's the truth.

So why am I making this post? Mostly because ignorant people exist in this world and their only reason for living at all is just to hate. "All cops are bastards"? Are you so sure? I wonder how many people in the US over the past 100+ years have been saved by cops. I wonder how many kids have been rescued from abuse. I wonder how many women have been saved from rape. I wonder how many kids have been save from gang violence or drug dealing.

Saying, "All cops are bastards" is no different than saying, "Yes all men". Functionally you are saying the same thing. And while you may say, "Hey that's not the same one is an immutable trait and the other is a job", to which I'll say, sure. Except you are making a gross generalization. Which IS the same. And ignores every single decent, good, great cop that exists out there. And every single good cop that has ever existed.

In my last post talking about this, I stated that people that are ACAB don't really hate cops. They just hate that they can't break the law without consequences. And I still believe that, but let me add a bit of nuance to that.

Most of the people that hate cops are programmed to hate cops. Because, like the media does, it picks something that will engage you, and will put it in front of you any way it knows how to. There are also a lot of people out there that hate cops because they can't break the law. That's also very true.

However there is another group that exists and it's Anarchists. Now, I have followers and people that I follow that are Anarchists. And while I view them as different from Tankies, Fundamentally they share the same, "Ideal Utopia" idea. Which is that, "Under my ideals, the world would be better". Except it won't be. It will be warlords and dictators forming groups. Assuming that we don't get taken over by Islamic Extremists, China, or the UN. Their ideals aside, they hate "The State" in all it's forms. And if you are fine with any form of "State" they will quite literally go off on a tirade of why you are a bootlicker. *Sigh*

Now, the last of these groups is just people that either 1) Do not understand what goes into being a cop and just hates them based on baseless notions, or 2) People that have had bad run-in's with cops and take that notion out on ALL cops.

So for these last two sets, things are difficult to deal with. Because they will go out of their way often to not care about how hard it is to be a cop. What do I mean?

Well for starters, cops are expected to be perfect at all times.

Perfect Aim

Perfect knowledge of all laws both federal and local

Perfect judgement at all times

Perfect execution of force at all times

Perfect response at all times

Perfect awareness of surroundings at all times

Perfect ability to listen to the law but also not piss off people breaking the law

And I could go on. Humans are fundamentally imperfect. They always will be. So expecting a cop to be perfect is like asking your SO where they want to eat every day for a month and them knowing right away. Unless you're a LIAR it's not going to happen. Same such, cops can't be perfect. Combine that with having to both uphold the law AND be sure to follow the law at the same time, then combine that with the dangers of the job, the fact that human beings are ANIMALS that are violent by nature, and unpredictable on top of which, with use of force laws. And yeah. You don't have a good time. It becomes a huge issue of people that are like, "Why didn't just just tase him?" or "Why didn't you just shot the gun out of his hand" or better yet, "He only had a knife and was threatening to kill someone. Why'd did you have to shoot him, you are not judge jury and executioner."

And that's where you are both right and wrong.

Right in the fact that they are not a Jury. Wrong about the fact that they are not acting in their capacity to judge a situation, and execute those that are too great a risk to subdue. And if you ever talk to a person that does MMA, subduing a person is not as easy as you think. More over, Tasers are not considered, "non-lethal". In a lot of cases they are considered lethal because you are delivering a shock, meant to incapacitate someone. Meaning that you have the risk of permanently injuring them, OR killing them if their heart stops. Hell you could also in theory turn them into a vegetable.

But sadly no one considers all of these things. And only people familiar with cops and how their jobs work, know any of this.

Am I justifying bad, or even evil cops with this post? No. I think cops fundamentally need more training. I also think that they need frequent psychological evaluations to see the effect of the work on them. Because some of the things you see in your capacity as an officer can be gruesome. Dead bodies. People that have been mutilated. Dead kids from drugs or gang shootings. And the list goes on and on and on.

Recently I made a post talking about how since the summer of 2020, there have been less good cops. And fact is, because of the 2020 riots, a lot of good cops did quit their jobs. That's a fact. Many actually put in for early retirement. And not because "They were being held to account". No. It was because they were told, "If you do your job, we will riot outside your station. Firebomb your cars and homes, and we will find a way to railroad you into prison".

So what do we see in NY and LA? Car break ins. Looting. Beatings in the streets. Cops that will literally stand down while people are being hurt. Why? Because why the hell would anyone be a cop when you are under a microscope SO LARGE, that even the SMALLEST twitch in the wrong direction could end your career and possibly your life.

It's easy to say, "Yeah I'd stop those looters and assaulters". Sure. Right up until the are a protected class. Then enjoy your media crucifixion, loss of work and likely stint in jail. As well as your family getting death threats for years to come. So given all this, I made a point that a lot of hires over the last 3 years have probably been scraping the bottom of the barrel. Because in truth, knowing all the above, why WOULD anyone be a cop? Certainly there are still good cops. But a lot of the good ones quit.

What's more, Now a days it's better as a cop to just NOT enforce the law. Because why risk everything I mentioned. You protect the law and you make the conservatives happy but piss off the woke. And the woke currently more or less control law and media. Good luck getting shanked in jail. If you don't uphold the law, you piss off people who want you to enforce it but you probably get to live another day.

At that point you may say, "OK so why be a cop at all then", and the answer is easy. It's a job. And it pays. Why excel at all when you are expected to be a bastion of perfection? What's that? Didn't use the PERFECT amount of force? Death Penalty. Oh? You shot a guy that pulled a gun on you and you didn't just take the shots to the chest? Well clearly you deserve to be put in jail for the rest of your life.

Cops are treated like they are supposed to be absolutely perfect at all times and it's stupid. I HATE police unions mind you. But you know what I hate more. People that have no idea the risk to their lives that cops are put through day to day just for putting on the badge. The fact that cops NEED wiggle room within the law in order to enforce it.

Remember "Hands up don't shoot"? Yeah. So do I. I also remember that it was a fucking lie, and that there are people to this day that still believe that lie. And if not for Police Unions, he might have rotted in jail for the rest of his life. There is no PEFECT in this life. Not for cops, not for anyone. Cops are not superheroes. They don't swing in on a web shooter and punch the bad guy JUST hard enough to knock him out without killing him. And with morality as fucked up as it is in the west, even just in the US, Law enforcement is in a no win situation. At all times.

But I want to find every person that has ever been saved by cops, and force you to tell those people that all cops are bad. And tell them about how whatever they were saved from doesn't matter because "ALL cops are bad". Tell the women that were possibly saved from rape, "You should have just been raped. Cops are all evil." Or tell the kid that was saved from the person that kidnapped them, "Yeah no, you should have just been a sex slave. Cops are bastards and clearly they didn't WANT to help you". Stop making assessments about ALL of any group of people. Because the likelihood that you'll be right is near zero.

There are good cops. And there are bad cops. Police Unions need heavy reformation. Accountability needs to actually be able to happen. And people need to understand how hard cops actually have it. All of these things can be true at the same time. And none of it is justifying evil or bad cops or even ones that don't enforce the law. It's a nuanced topic. And as such, it should be treated so.

[ninja-muse]

At last, a month where I feel like I read enough! The trick, clearly, was to pick up graphic novels and other very short things. Will this trend continue in November? Almost certainly not.

Followers might have seen my review for The Dollmakers by Lynn Buchanan last week but that's not actually my top read of the month. That honour goes to Jane Austen's Bookshelf by Rebecca Romney, which I got as an ARC from work, told myself I wouldn't read just yet, then promptly picked up after The Dollmakers and all but burned through. It's about the female authors we know Austen read and why they were bestsellers in their day but are barely known now, with all sorts of publishing and book industry history thrown in, along with a dose of memoir. Needless to say, I was the target audience and I've added a good handful of classics to my TBR. (It's out in February, in case you're interested.)

The rest of my top reads are there for just being solidly good. The Disappearing Spoon gave me all the fun science history I wanted. The Angel of Indian Lake gave me a good horror trilogy ending. The Tropic of Serpents gave me more Lady Trent adventures. And so on. I only really had two misses: The Aeronaut's Windlass, which felt very by-the-books epic fantasy without pushing boundaries, and Wordhunter, which I'm actively recommending people don't read. It was utterly average and kind of trying too hard to be edgy, and then it needlessly introduced sexual violence against women and children and handled both badly. How a book that lets a pedophile off with a warning got published in 2024, I will never understand.

In happier news, my book haul! Two books this month: Sorcery and Small Magics, sent by the publisher, and another volume of The Unwritten, meaning I only need to find one and I've got the full run. Hurray! (If you ever spot Vol. 9, folks, lemme know.)

All that reading means that I haven't done much writing. I need to get back to that, but at least I know what was blocking me and am working to rectify the situation. I am, however, starting to get seriously envious of authors who were able to write during the pandemic and are now getting those novels published. I stopped writing entirely for a year and a half, for various reasons, and now I feel like I've fallen behind.

Someday I might return to the Not-Quite-Urban Fantasy but I'm still too raw to handle the edits even now.

Oh, the worlds of might-have-been!

And now I've gone and left this on a down note. There'll be more positivity next month, I promise. In the meantime, here’s my list of everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

Jane Austen’s Bookshelf - Rebecca Romney

A rare book dealer explores the literary histories of Austen’s favourite female authors, and how they didn’t make the English canon the way Austen did. Out in February.

8/10

reading copy

The Disappearing Spoon - Sam Kean

An entertaining history of chemistry, atomic physics, and the elements of the periodic table.

8/10

library ebook

The Tropic of Serpents - Marie Brennan

Isabella Camherst travels south to Bayembe to study savannah dragons, but finds herself caught in politics and sent on a mission to the swamp of Mouleen.

7.5/10

African-coded secondary characters, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (asexual)

library book

The Dollmakers - Lynn Buchanan

When Shean of Pearl receives, and refuses, an artisan dollmaker license, she sets off for a remote village to prove she and her dolls have what it takes to be guards against the Shod. If this means luring the monsters in, so be it.

7.5/10

reading copy

The Angel of Indian Lake - Stephen Graham Jones

Jade Daniels, now Proofrock’s history teacher, has put slasher cycles behind her. Except it’s looking like another one’s started anyway.

7.5/10

Blackfoot protagonist, 🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), Black secondary characters

warning: blood, gore, death, murder

reading copy

Reluctant Immortals - Gwendolyn Kiste

Lucy Westrena and Bee Rochester are trying to get through the days in 1967 LA when their exes return in San Fransisco.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic), Jamaican-British secondary character

warning: abusive relationships

reading copy

Bury Your Gays - Chuck Tingle

After Misha refuses to kill off his queer leads for the season finale, he finds himself stalked by horror villains he created.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (gay), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (bi, aroace), 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: death, murder, torture, homophobia, child abuse

library book

Ms. Marvel, Vol. 7 - G. Willow Wilson with Mirka Andolfo (Illustrator), Takeshi Miyazawa (Illustrator)

Kamala Khan faces two difficult foes: gerrymandering and a sentient computer virus.

6.5/10

Pakistani-American protagonist, Muslim protagonist, Pakistani-American secondary characters, Muslim secondary characters, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), Black secondary character, secondary character with limb damage and a cane, Muslim author

warning: outing

off my TBR

Paladin’s Grace - T. Kingfisher

Stephen is a paladin whose god has died. Grace is a perfumer trying to keep her past buried. Witnesses to a failed assassination, they now must work together to navigate a world of intrigue, poisoners, and zealots. It’s a good thing they like each other.

6.5/10

off my TBR/ebook

Plain Jane and the Mermaid - Vera Brosgol

When Jane’s potential fiancé is kidnapped by a mermaid, she descends into the depths to rescue him even though she can never hope to compete with true waifish beauty.

7.5/10

warning: body shaming

library book

Sorcery and Small Magics - Maiga Doocy

Leovander Loveage and Sebastian Grimm get along like oil and water—which makes it all the worse when Leo's hit with an illegal curse and they must work together to break it.

6.8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (achillean), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (achillean), 🏳️‍🌈 minor character (ungendered), minor character with dark skin, minor character who uses a cane

gifted by publisher

Dictionary of Fine Distinctions - Eli Bernstein

Illuminating and illustrated definitions of commonly confused words.

7/10

library book

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop - Satoshi Yagisawa

When Takako finds herself adrift in life, she accepts a room in her estranged uncle’s bookshop.

7/10

Japanese cast, Japanese author

library book

Wordhunter - Stella Sands

A spiky forensic linguistics student is tapped by her local PD to help find a kidnapped teen, but that brings up a missing person’s case from her own past. Too close, too soon.

2/10

Black secondary character

warning: drug use, alcohol abuse, rape and an odd attitude towards its aftermath, pedophiles given a pass

library book

Picture books

All the Books - Hayley Rocco

Piper loves books so much she takes her whole collection everywhere, but when her wagons tip over in the rain she discovers … the library!

9/10

DNF

The Aeronaut’s Windlass - Jim Butcher

The cold war between Spires Albion and Aurora is heating up, and something uncanny is showing itself. Caught in it all are Captain Grimm, late of the Predator, a handful of trainee guards, and a prince of cats.

library ebook

Currently reading

The Price of the Stars - Debra Doyle and James D. MacDonald

When Beka’s politician mother is assassinated, her father gives her his warship in exchange for her tracking the assassins down. But when someone has it in for your family, sometimes one must take drastic measures.

off my TBR

The Empress Letters - Linda Rogers

A mother in the 1920s writes her life story in a series of letters to the daughter she’s searching for in China.

🇨🇦, Chinese secondary characters

warning: fetal remains, anti-Chinese racism

off my TBR

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle Victorian detective stories

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 14 + 1 Yearly total: 106 Queer books: 3 Authors of colour: 2 Books by women: 9 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 0 Classics: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 3 Books hauled: 2 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 1

January February March April May June July August September

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Journey Out of The West Chapter 3 - Horse Stables

It’s been one year since Phoenix has come to this strange world. Guan Yin takes Phoenix to the Celestial Realm. Guan Yin tells Moksha to show her the horse stables. Apparently there is also a new Bimawen taking care of them.

- One Year Later -

Phoenix truly didn't know what was going through Guan Yin's mind when she decided to bring her to the Celestial Realm. There was no rhyme or real reason for her to be here, but here she was standing in front of the Jade Palace. At least not yet, Lao Tzu wasn’t back yet. He wouldn’t be for another four days, or years. However long he was going to be gone with this strange time difference.

She walked right behind Guan Yin who floated through the air as she moved along the ground. Moksha walked next to Phoenix his feet clicking against the ground as he looked around seemingly having some thoughts he wished to voice. She was curious as to what they were, from the time she has spent with him she has known him to be rather talkative except for when Guan Yin was in the presence of others.

Phoenix looked out of place next to the two who wore white gowns, with golden embroidery throughout them. Their clothes floated around them due to their powerful auras making both of them looking ethereal.

However Phoenix looked different, her hanfu was a deep red, with golden lining around the edges. Golden flowers were embroidered throughout the bottom of the fabric, roses, lilies, and orchids. Her sleeves billowed around her arms were held up for her hands to hold onto each other. Her hair had grown longer in the time she had been here, now halfway down her back that was braided together with the glamour hair pin in her hair where she had began the braid.

She was the only one of the three very clearly didn’t have a powerful aura, instead of her cloths or hair floating it laid flat against her skin. She gripped the shawl that was wrapped around her tightly as she followed behind the two. She forced herself to hold her head up high with a smile across her face.

For a moment she sped up just until she was next to Guan Yin. A smile played on her face as to cover up her nerves even if they didn’t really vanish.

“Lady Guan Yin,” Phoenix spoke quietly as her eyes darted around the hallway.

“Yes child?”

“What am I here for?” She asked curiously forcing her eyes from the ground.

“You are here to accompany me, it is not often I take on a new maiden and I wished to show you around the Celestial Realm. It is also to allow time to speed up just a bit for you dear,” She replied a warm smile on her face.

“Allow time to speed up for me?” The thought sent warmth through her heart, she wouldn’t have to wait as long to go home.

In the time she had been here she had learned a bit of archery, sword skills, and helped in the gardens. Besides that she has spent time with River and Flare but other than that her life was rather dull here. She longed for nothing more than to go home, go back to her sisters and her mother. She nearly gripped her chest at the thought of going home sooner than she had already accepted.

“Yes child,” The goddess nodded with her ever warm smile.

Phoenix’s eyes sparkled with excitement, and a wide grin spread across her face at the thought of truly going back home. She missed her family dearly and she was sure that they missed her too. Taking a breath she looked around at the hallway walls, or rather the wall on one side to her other side was full of pillars holding up the roof. Out through the pillars was a large court yard.

"You're quiet today," Moksha spoke up quickly catching Phoenix's attention.

"I'm always quiet," she grumbled back.

“Not this quiet, I thought we finally got you used to being around other people,” He replied dramatically. He had one hand pressed to his chest and closed his eyes as he spoke.

Phoenix rolled her eyes at his dramatics, it wasn’’t the first time she’d seen him act like this. But it was a welcome sight to see him relax after a little while of being in the palace, at his relaxed demeanor she soon found herself getting calmer. Her nerves dissipating as he started talking again.

“It’s your first time in the Celestial Realm so I’ll give you a break this time,” He stated as if he was doing her a favor, in a rather joking way.

“Why thank you, I truly have no idea what I would do without your forgiveness,” Phoenix responded just as dramatically.

The two quickly straightened up as soon as they noticed a group of maids walking passed them, even their robes floating as they walked. It made Phoenix feel self conscious about her own lack of power. She shook those thoughts away, she didn’t even need power because she would be leaving this world soon enough.

“Did you hear about the new Bimawen? I heard he’s a monkey,” The words of the maids came back to Phoenix causing her to turn her head, she had heard that word before. What did it mean again?

“Moksha, what is a Bimawen?” She asked curiously.

“The Bimawen is the head of the celestial stables. They take care of all of the horses,” Moksha was all too happy to explain the title to Phoenix.

Horses? Phoenix’s eyes widened with excitement, her eyes glittered and a huge smile crossed her face. Quickly she gently tugged on Guan Yin’s robes to catch her attention. The goddess did turn slightly surprised by her behavior.

“Can I go see the horses?” She nearly yelled before blushed when she heard how loud her voice spoke.

“You wish to see the horses?” Moksha asked with a chuckle.

“Of course child. Moksha I have someone I must go speak with, you can take Phoenix to the stables and show her the horses,” Her words caused Phoenix to grin in absolute excitement, she couldn’t believe her luck.

“Yes my lady. Come on Phoenix,” Moksha lead her away towards where ever the stables were.

As they walked through the halls she found herself lost and confused. She had no idea which way they came from or which way they were heading now. She’d never been good with directions but right now she could barely tell left from right. Luckily Moksha didn’t seem to be having the same problem at all. In fact he was taking every right step.

This was confirmed to Phoenix as they walked out into a large grassy field, that surrounded a large building. But the field there were several horses roaming and grazing for food. There were several stable buildings she noticed as they got closer, walking along a stone path.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” She said her nerves gone as they walked almost alone.

She didn’t notice how Moksha looked over at her and blushed ever so slightly as she twirled around to look around. Her robes spun around, tightening slightly around her waist before spreading out around her. She was absolutely gorgeous and he couldn’t help but admit that to himself.

"Can we go in?" she asked looking at Moksha with an excited smile.

"Of course" he grinned back however he was soon interrupted.

"Says who?" both Phoenix and Moksha froze and looked at the man who spoke.

No, not man this was... A monkey demon. A short one at that, beautiful golden eyes stared at the two as he glared at them. He was about 4 and a half foot tall. Bright golden, fluffy fur covered his body excluding his face and the palms of his hands. A dark red heart shaped mask surrounded his eyes while a single drop of red came from his bottom lip and down his chin. He looked more like a human with monkey features, similar to the form Phoenix had under her glamours just... Shorter.

"You must be the new Baiwen," Moksha was the first of the two to speak.

Sun Wukong, who was first the Baiwen of the celestial horses until he learned about how much his title really meant. A cold sweat rushed down Phoenix’s body as she tried to stop herself from gulping back her fear. Maybe it would be best that they left… then again. She stared at The Monkey King with a curious expression. He didn’t look that dangerous, and there was no telling if this world was really The Journey To The West.

“Yes I am Sun Wukong The Baiwen of The Celestial Realm! Who are you to come into my area!” He responded his hands on his hips as he glared up at the taller man.

“I am Moksha, a disciple of Guan Yin. I am here with Phoenix, we came to look at the horses,” Moksha explained with a slight frown on his face, he didn’t care for this demon too be caring for the horses of the celestial realm. There was no telling what this Monkey Demon would do to the horses, or if he even had to power to tend to them in the first place.

Unlike Moksha who doubted Sun Wukong’s ability to tend to the horses, Phoenix looked at him with curiosity. His anger made him look like a mad cat, the thought brought an amused chuckle out of her lips.

“And who says you have permission?-” Wukong growled harshly, his tail thrashing behind him as he glared at the two. His head snapped towards Phoenix as her chuckle left her lips. “And what are you laughing at!?”

Just as Moksha was about to speak, Phoenix spoke up. Her fear was gone at the thought of him being no more dangerous than a cat filled her head. There was no way that this was the Sun Wukong from The Journey To The West. She pushed her fear aside and spoke happily, a smile covering her face along with a slight flush of embarrassment. “Sorry, I just didn’t know that The Baiwan was someone so protective over the horses. Though I shouldn’t be surprised, a good caretaker is protective of what is his to protect,” She beamed happily, her words honest.

She didn’t notice the ever so slight flush of The Monkey King’s face. He quickly brought a fist up to cover his mouth which was attempting to stretch into a smile. He coughed once as he looked at the two. At least the woman knew how to respect her superiors, he thought before letting his smile turn into a smirk.

“OF COURSE I AM PROTECTIVE! I AM THE SUN WUKONG! THE MONKEY KING!” He yelled while grinning like an idiot, until he felt the ever sharp jab at the bottom of his foot. Shit! He was going to get rid of these people not let them manipulate him.

“Of course,” Moksha muttered, his eyes glancing between the Monkey King and Phoenix with a disbelieving look, he couldn’t honestly believe the nerve of this demon.

"Would the noble protector allow us to borrow one of the horses?" she asked with a joyful smile.

Wukong’s eyes widened at her smile as he let out a short huff. She was trying to manipulate him like all the other celestials in the celestial realm. He should turn her away, he should rip her apart for her words of falsehoods. A growl was at the tip of his tongue when he felt another jab at his foot. No! They were playing smart, he could get his revenge later.

“Of course,” He growled lowly, he didn’t want her here. Hell he didn’t want to be a stable boy at all, if it weren’t for Macaque’s plan… He huffed barely pushing past his anger and led the two celestial’s into the stable.

What he would do to just rip those two apart... He glanced over his shoulder and noticed the woman's awestruck look. He had to admit that she had her looks going for her at least, and from the way his shadow twisted so did his mate. Awe that was sweet his precious moon was jealous. The thought warmed his heart as he swayed his tail side to side.

“Why did you want to see the horses anyways?” Moksha asked curiously as Phoenix looked at each stead with a smile.

She glanced at him but didn’t respond. She knew why she wanted to see them of course but she didn’t know what she was supposed to say. Her sister loved horses it was where she own love for them stemmed from. Orchid always had a soft spot for them, she’d tried to teach her how to ride once, but Phoenix was too scared to let the horse even move forward before she gave up.

Now however surrounded by majestic creatures she didn't feel any fear, at least not towards the horses. She glanced at the back of Sun Wukong's head, a bolt of fear shot up her spine which she rather quickly pushed back down. This wasn’t some made up story, there was no way that this was the same Sun Wukong as those stories. There was a part of her that didn’t believe a word she told herself. The other part only hoped that she was right.

As she thought about it, she realized that she should have turned away when she realized who he was. But it was a little late for that and would seem awfully suspicious if she and Moksha just left now. So instead she took a deep breath and continued to walk forward. They would stay as long as was polite and expected and then they would go home.

Deep in thought Phoenix didn't notice the black tail that came from her shadow and up in front of her foot. A scream left her lips as she tumbled forward. Moksha quickly caught her before she could fall on her face with a shocked look at her fall. A heavy blush filled her cheeks as the tail disappeared back into the ground unnoticed by everyone but the chuckling monkey in front of them.

“Clumsy much?” He laughed as he continued to walk completely unbothered.

Phoenix blushed further as she stood up better, flattening out of hanfu. She couldn’t believe she just tripped, glancing at the ground she saw that it was perfectly flat. Had she just tripped in front of these two over her own two feet?

“Maybe we should go, Guan Yin should be done in-“ Moksha was cut off when Phoenix silently shook her head. She was going to see the horses, Guan Yin wouldn’t be done for a while and she knew that.

Moksha sighed but nodded. Wukong glanced at the two before once again leading them through the stables, his hidden glare twitching into a real smile. Maybe he could have some fun with these two after all. A few scares couldn’t hurt anyone.

They walked through the stables until they reached the back where there were several horses either sitting down or standing. Perfectly groomed fur, all seemed calm and peaceful. They were absolutely beautiful, Phoenix’s eyes widened as she stared at the scene before her.

“They are beautiful,” she muttered, her mind wandering a mile a minute. Her chest tightened as she let her thoughts wander. “Can I ride one?” She asked, her eyes twinkling in excitement.

Moksha immediately responded in a stern tone, “You can’t ride a horse while wearing a dress.”

Phoenix’s twinkling eyes dimmed almost immediately, her head drooping ever so slightly at the rejection. She wanted to argue but she knew full well that he was right, her dress would get in her way far too much for her to actually ride the horse. With a pout she turned away from the horses.

“We should get going,” Moksha began before cutting himself off when he heard a commotion outside. “You wait here, I’ll be right back.”

Of course Phoenix didn’t have any time to respond before the much faster celestial being left her alone. She grumbled to herself as he ran off, she could hear the commotion too, but there were no screams or sounds of distress. Still she didn’t want to leave the other to deal with the situation whatever it was on his own. So she started walking the way he left.

“BOO!” The monkey demon jumped behind her, but Phoeni didn’t even flinch as she turned her head to look at him with the only show of her surprise was her widened eyes. Which quickly calmed when she saw who it was.

“Was that necessary?” She asked tilting her head to the side.

Wukong blinked at her in surprise, clearly not expecting her to react in such a way. But his surprise was pushed away in favor of the wide grin that covered his face. This was interesting, far more interesting than the horses he was told to ‘tend to’.

He chuckled, “Of course it was.”

Phoenix stared at him with a frown covering her face before letting out a sigh. A smile graced her face and she gave a short bow to him to show respect. She knew the power that this single monkey demon possibly held within his grasp. It was some magic that she couldn’t even comprehend, something that she dreaded being on the receiving end of.

“I suppose that I should be on my way now,” She smiled nervously at the monkey demon in front of her.

Of course Sun Wukong didn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable she was beginning to get. She had been with Moksha and him not to long ago and now it was just her and The Monkey King. One she had known that she shouldn’t get close to especially by herself and now had no where to escape to.

“Why leave so soon? You were just so excited to see the horses,” He spoke up a wicked grin across his face.

Phoenix blinked in surprise, she very much did not expect that from him like at all. She tried to think about what to say while still being very confused. “Um… what? I’m sure that you would prefer for me to get out of your hair,” She muttered looking between the doorway and the monkey demon who was blocking her escape.

Sun Wukong tilted his head in thought, his tail swaying lazily behind him. There was a dangerous look in his eyes, and she had no idea just how much trouble he was planning. She knew this was a bad idea, she knew… wait this is Sun Wukong at least she thinks it is. He is arrogant and very, very egotistical.

So she quickly hid her face behind one of her large sleeves, feigning bashfulness. “I wouldn’t want to bother someone who has so much responsibility. There are so many horses here and you are the head of the stables, I’m sure that you are very busy,” Her voice was quiet for the most part but loud enough for the Monkey King to hear.

It worked just as well as she thought it would. His chest puffed out, eyes glistening with pride and a wide smile spread across his face. It was actually really cute how excited he got at the praise she received. However her relief was short lived as she felt a harsh glare on her. Barely glancing around she found nothing but the shadows of the stables. That was, odd.

“I do have great responsibility this is true,” Wukong grinned excitedly, “But I can spare some time for a lovely maiden to show her around.” His eyes were twinkling mischievously.

He wanted to see more of this maiden, he wanted to get a reaction. She hadn’t even flinched when he jumped at her, it made him both angry and excited. Not just anyone would walk around so carefree around him. He felt a jab at his foot and calmed himself, he was toying with this girl and his darling mate was getting more jealous. Honestly it was so cute! His love always did get very jealous and protective of what was his.

“I don’t really think that I should,” Phoenix responded, nearly sweating bullets which she held behind a calm expression. As calm as she could make her expression anyways. It fooled the monkey demon in front of her enough but unbeknownst to her it did not fool the shadow that was right below her.

Macaque was initially angry that he had to hide away so quickly after they arrived in the Celestial Realm but as usual masked his anger easily. It was his job as his King’s mate to remain by his side at all times. Even if what he was doing was absolutely stupid. He wasn’t able to stop his mate from coming to the Celestial Realm, so the least he could do was come up with a coherent plan to survive this.

Flirting with some celestial maiden was NOT apart of his plan! He surpassed his growl as his mate circled the maiden. What made it worse was that she wasn’t ugly, no she looked rather nice in fact. Someone he also wouldn’t mind playing with if not for the fact that he wasn’t into the celestial realm ‘legally’ like his mate was. No he wasn’t supposed to be here, his mate was the only one summoned to come to the heavens.

The thought of the position that his mate was given sent his blood boiling. He wanted to scream and shout for this disaster, but held his tongue. They wouldn’t be able to get the peaches his mate wanted if he found out so soon, they wouldn’t be able to find any weaknesses if they were kicked out so quickly. So he bit his tongue almost enough to bleed as he pushed the thought away, planning to deal with it later.

He was a loyal mate that would make sure his Sun would get what he wanted. Of course as a loyal mate he wouldn’t leave his king’s side, so he came along to make sure that they weren’t going to harm his perfect mate. Which now meant that he had to watch as his mate had fun teasing and taunting everyone around the stables without him helping! He wasn’t pouting, he wasn’t! No he just wanted his mate’s attention for himself… and get to tease and tear apart these stuck up celestials by his side.

“I don’t really think that I should,” This girl had brains, at least some in her head if she knew that she should leave.

She was doing everything to get away from the situation as soon as she could. But the attention she was receiving from HIS mate was starting to get on his nerves, even if she was cute. Her heart beating wildly as she tried to cover up her fear.

“But you could always-,” Wukong’s words were cut off by the young celestial that had accompanied her.

“It was just a group of gossiping ladies. Lady Phoenix we should be on our way,” Moksha said with a slightly annoyed expression. “My lady is probably waiting for you.”

“Of course,” Phoenix perked up before rushing to him as fast as she could without rising suspicion.

As the two left, only Sun Wukong and Macaque were left inside of the stables. The shadow monkey finally having a chance to come out of his shadow. He wrapped his arms around his mate’s waist while burying his face into the peach scented neck. Taking a breath he looked up at his cocky mate who was grinning at him, his golden tail wrapping around his leg.

“Is someone jealous?” Wukong purred happily.

“You are MY mate,” Macaque grunted his own tail wrapping around Wukong’s thigh as he pulled them both to sit down.

With his ears fanned out he smirked, there was no one coming to spoil their fun this time. No one to bother- someone was coming. He growled as he muttered to his mate, “Someone else is coming, play nice. We can’t get the peaches you want unless if you remain calm,” Before fading into his shadow, pulling his mate’s tail with him until it reluctantly let go.

The people in question who were coming were a maiden and a guard. Both were dressed in elegant outfits, not even the guards were spared when it came to the luxuries of the heavens it seemed. Now what did they want?

>>><<<

“Are you alright Phoenix?” Moksha asked curiously looking over the girl who was calmly walking next to him without a word.

She glanced up at him and shrugged, was she okay? Yes, she was fine at least for the most part she was. Sun Wukong had done nothing to hurt her, not physically or even mentally. Her heart still pounded in her chest from the encounter.

“Of course, I’m fine,” She smiled after letting out a breath, she didn’t need to worry him for no reason.

She didn’t acknowledge the frown that graced his face, instead preferring to look forward with a smile. She held her head high as she walked confidently down the halls trying to keep her composer nice and calm. Everything was fine, there was no reason for her to worry anyone about her fear or ‘annoyances.’ She was grateful when he didn’t pry any further, preferring instead to walk in silence.

The silence was cut short by the sound of shouts and screams from behind them. Phoenix whirled around, her eyes widening as a sense of fear washed over her. Fire, there was fire. Billowing smoke wafted through the air, elegant yellow and orange flames dancing on something. That was… the stables!

What did Sun Wukong DO!? The question rang through her head as Moksha grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the commotion. Who pissed the monkey king off… unless….

Please leave a like and a comment. I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this chapter! I wanted to add Shadowpeach at the beginning before they have their falling out.

[yarameijer]

Hi again 👋,I am here after reading chapter 42 of accidental reverse and it's epic,it was definitely worth the long wait,I am a sucker for tenma&shuu and tenma& shindou friendship,so,I can't wait for the next one, How's recovery going,well I hope. love from Hana

So,one thing that really bothers me about inazuma eleven is that they gloss over relationships that are important.I get this anime mostly focuses on soccer,but still,I thought about and tenma got betrayed 4 times in the series,4 Times,That's insane

First,shuu: I don't like that they completely glossed over this in the movie,I get that they didn't know each other for long,but tenma trusted him and shuu clearly knew they'd be playing against each other,being part of the team that beat raimon up, completely disregarding tenma's reaction,not patting an eye at tenma's best friend being locked in a cage like an animal.no matter how you look at it, that's a betrayal,I know the "fixed things"at the end of the movie,bit, tenma must've been hurt that someone he trusted betrayed him from the very beginning but shuu didn't apologize and I hate that.

Next, taiyou :I talked about this one in my previous post,What Taiyou did even without telling gouenji about anything interesting tenma told him(because that's not canon),what he did is a huge betrayal,Not telling tenma when he knew of his involvement in the revolution,acting cold and rude during their match,lying to his friend's face, completely disregarding his friend's feelings.That's a huge betrayal and I wish they payed attention to it,it was overshadowed by shindou breaking his leg and again tenma must've been hurt.

Next,Fei: this one's self explanatory,He apologized and I guess he betrayed all of raimon,but again,He and tenma were definitely the closest and he was hurt.

Next,The one that hurt him the most, tsurugi:I don't think I have to explain this and my hand's tired.

Not to mention that tge team treated him horribly in the beginning,like,shindou literally beat a junior up and I know he was upset,I know he was angry,but that doesn't excuse it,He's older and he should've taken it easy on a newbie who helped them before.and he never apologized.

Kurama was definitely the worst,He was rude,cold and blamed tenma for literally everything wrong in the club which is ridiculous and he never apologized.

The rest of the team, basically stood by and watched,The only ones on tenma's side from the very beginning are shinsuke and Aoi,which is why I love this trio and I think it should get more love.

So,my point is that everyone treated tenma horribly,no one apologized except for Fei and those betrayals must've hurt.

I want these guys to realize they messed up when they see tenma being hesitant to tell them something or see him more comfortably sharing things with, let's say,earth eleven more than them, specifically Taiyou and shuu.

Could you write a drabble about it.

Sorry,this is so long.I read A.R chapter 42 and came to vent.

Love you ❣️

Oh boy do I have feelings about this.

Through the years of writing stories, as I grew older, I started looking deeper into the characters' mindsets, to try and give them a more realistic and individual representation. This means it isn't always in line with what is shown in the anime, but I don't really mind. Tenma's character is pretty interesting to me because of three reasons: his cheerful attitude, his insecurities, and being allowed to move miles away from home at age eight.

The first two are quite well known in the fandom already and more people have experimented with it, but it's the third one I rarely see. Someone even told me it wasn't a big deal.

Is it really, though? What would such a thing do to a child? What kind of family situation would it be for parents to allow their eight-year-old kid to move several hundred miles away, for years? I get that he wanted to play at Raimon and that they were supporting him - but he started that school at age 12/13, so why would he be sent to Inazuma Town four years before he could even attend Raimon? It doesn't mean Tenma's parents are bad or abusive, but it does imply there's a more complicated situation, one that could actually explain quite a lot of Tenma's insecurities. It's just something that's been keeping my mind occupied lately, and I'm planning to use it in my stories more. 

All in all, I feel like Tenma's character can be quite complicated, without a ridiculously complicated and tragic backstory. It just doesn't fit, y'know? And it's a bit too cliché for me. Putting that aside for now, there's also one more specific characteristic I've given the Tenma in my stories: he has a hard time opening up, which means I'm not sure whether the issues you mentioned are ones he would just talk about. The Tenma I'm writing is much more likely to try to deflect a topic so I don't think I can fully 'finish' this? The issue won't be resolved by the end of the drabble because healing takes time, and I think I might build on this idea in future chapters more. I'll try my best though! And I didn't include Earth Eleven cuz they didn't seem right for this role. Instead Aoi gets some more love XD

So, just a warning, I have an idea for the start of this drabble but beyond that, my mind is blank. I have no idea what I'm about to write so bear with me here, and let's hope it's not too messy.

------------

Tenma has never had a lot of friends.

He told his yearmates, once, when they were hanging out at his house. Kariya and Hikaru had been talking about the team, about how much fun every day was, about how they weren't used to it. Tenma, relaxed and content and safe, agreed.

They'd been surprised, a little disbelieving. They were nice about it! But Kariya's, "For real? Could've fooled me!" had stuck with him, no matter how teasing it had sounded.

It's the truth, though. Before Raimon he'd had Aoi, and one or two people he would sit with during lunch at school, but that was about it.

He loves Inazuma Town, now more than ever - but making the switch from his relatively small seaside hometown to this busy Tokyo district was hard, harder than he'd admitted to anyone but himself. It's not that he didn't want to, but... Aki always got so sad when Tenma was sad and he could see her brightening whenever he said he was happy (and he was!) and okay. He didn't understand it fully back then, but he thinks he's starting to. Aki had been so young.

(Sometimes he's guilty, for putting more weight on her shoulders. For making her look after him when she was barely in her twenties.

Sometimes he's angry at his parents for putting such a burden on her. For ever getting it in their minds to ask their young cousin to be responsible for an eight-year-old child.

Sometimes he's angry at them for allowing him to go in the first place.

Most often, though, he's angry at them for making him want to.)

Tenma was in a new town, living with a relative he barely knew, and painfully shy. His soccer obsession didn't exactly help - everyone likes soccer, of course, how could they not when seeing all those hissatsu? But they don't live and breathe it like he does, like his teammates do. When the kids in his neighborhood found out that soccer was all he ever focused on, they lost interest in him pretty quickly.

(Most of them, at least, and the ones who didn’t - well, their interest wasn’t exactly a good thing.)

Aoi was an exception. But, Tenma has long since realized, Aoi is absolutely crazy in her own, hidden way (she'd have to be, to put up with their team's shenanigans).

Anyway.

Tenma isn't very experienced in the friends department, as surprising as many people seem to find it. He's never really cared, to be honest. He'd had Aoi and Aki and Sasuke and he found out early on that a lot of people just don't care. Fighting that never worked out for him, so why bother?

"Tenma!"

The sudden call has him looking up, brought back to the present.

Shindou has twisted around in his seat. He looks vaguely annoyed. "Finally. What's got you so distracted?"

Tenma blinks. "I'm sorry, senpai," he responds automatically, surprised by his own absentmindedness. He didn't expect to be so caught up in his daydreams with his entire team around him - the noise level in the bus is, as usual with them, high, and the air is filled with a familiar excitement at the prospect of a match, especially after so long.

"It's fine," the strategist sighs, a smile finally pulling at his lips that Tenma would almost call fond. "Just don't zone out all day, alright? We can't afford that when facing Arakumo Academy."

"Right," the captain agrees easily.

He expects that to be the end of it because Shindou is turning around in his seat again, leaving Tenma to his thoughts once more - but it isn’t.

"This is the second time you're distracted when we're playing against Arakumo," someone else drawls - Tsurugi, who's seated on the opposite side of the bus aisle, arms crossed and lounging in his chair like a king. "I'm starting to suspect a pattern."

Tenma, for lack of a better reaction, smiles and shrugs. He doesn't know what to say to that, because it's true.

Their last, and first, match against Arakumo wasn't his finest moment, he’ll readily admit.

Thankfully Tsurugi doesn't care much for his lack of reaction, focusing once more on the book he was reading. Tenma watches him for a moment, and then looks out of the window again.

He knows it's bound to get his mind wandering again, and he's not in the mood for another scolding, but there's not much else to do. Shinsuke next to him is playing a game on his phone, Hayami and Hamano in the row in front of him are discussing homework. Everyone else is either caught up in their own conversations or seated too far away to comfortably converse with.

Tenma starts tapping a mindless rhythm on his knee to keep himself in the present. He's restless. Hopefully the match will get him out of his head - he's not even sure why he's so distracted.

(That's a lie.)

He should be fine, right?

Everything's fine.

It all worked out.

School has started again after the summer holidays - of which he spent the first half in space. It still feels unreal to him, despite over a month having passed.

Not much else happened during the holidays. He'd caught a plane to Okinawa and stayed there pretty much until school started again, only returning to Tokyo a day and a half before. It had been nice to be back home, spending most of his time on the beach or exploring the familiar streets or practicing soccer by himself. He’s gotten sufficiently tanned, as well, and it was pretty funny to see Tsurugi’s annoyance at that once he got back.

This is their first match after the break - school's been in for only a week - and beneath the excitement, there's some nervous energy too. Arakumo is one of their most challenging opponents and they all know it.

At least it's only a friendly match instead of anything tournament-related, so the usual pressure of winning (especially when trying to lead a revolution against a deluded tyrant organization) is absent. Maybe, Tenma muses, that's why he's so distracted.

The fact that this is the first time he'll be playing against Taiyou since their argument doesn't exactly help. They've talked about it at length, and they've tentatively been texting and even hung out once over the summer, but there's a sense of discomfort that they're still trying to get past. Tenma, if only in his own mind, can admit he's worried about how any competitive interaction will affect them.

He doesn't want to lose Taiyou's friendship, but…

The brunet sighs and shakes his head. At this rate he's just going to keep on being distracted, and inevitably disappoint his team. He doesn't want to take that risk for their first match after such a long break.

Or, any match, really.

Especially not after-

Well.

After.

(He still cannot help but feel a bit jumpy, after all the arguments with Shindou during the Grand Celesta Galaxy, after Tsurugi’s kidnapping, after, after, after.

It had felt like he'd been on thin ice when he first joined the team, but that sensation had slowly but surely faded as he found his place.

Now, after, he hates that he's once more double-checking his every action. Hates that he's lost the sense of security in where he stands that had been near unshakable before the Grand Celesta Galaxy.)

Tenma is, once again, brought back to the present, this time because their bus is slowing to a stop. A glance out of the window tells him all he needs to know, and he hides a grimace.

Seems like they have arrived at Arakumo Academy.

------------

Raimon reaches their destination right on schedule, Shindou is glad to note. They'd left early so they'd have enough time to get ready and go over their strategy before the game starts, as they usually do, but Arakumo is a challenging enough opponent that any extra time is welcome.

They're guided over the campus in the direction of the soccer stadium and Shindou takes in the sights with mild interest. It's been a while since he's visited Arakumo - their previous match had been in one of Fifth Sector's stadiums. The prestigious academy hasn't changed much. It certainly lives up to its reputation, not quite as large as Teikoku's buildings, but nothing to look down on either. It's got a more serious appearance than Raimon, with red-toned walls and roofs with cloud patterns.

However, Raimon is here for a match, not to play tourist, and soon they find themselves in their assigned dressing room to get ready for the match. It's as the team is entering the room, getting ready to change out of their training suits, that a ringtone disrupts the usual chatter.

It's uncommon enough that Shindou finds himself glancing up, involuntarily raising his eyebrows as Tenma scrambles for his phone. He catches the captain's gaze and Tenma shoots him an apologetic look while he answers the call. “Hello?”

Shindou turns away and smiles at Kirino on his other side as he reaches for his bag, but despite his wish to give his captain some privacy, they’re right next to each other. It’s impossible not to overhear the one-sided conversation.

“I apologize, this isn't really the right time,” he hears Tenma say, sounding genuinely sorry and surprisingly formal. “I'm playing a match in-”

The brunet falls silent for several moments after the, assumed, interruption. Shindou unzips the jacket of his training suit and shrugs it off his shoulders. He's already wearing his uniform underneath the track suit, so he won't take long changing.

Next to him, Tenma starts talking again. “I understand, but I,” and falls silent yet again. Shindou frowns.

Something about the way his captain keeps on halting in the middle of his sentences seems a little odd. Shindou finds himself halting his movements, unable to keep himself from looking over at his young friend. It's not on purpose, but he's always believed in the worth of information, and something about the increasing tension in Tenma's voice raises his guard.

‘’Yes, I do understand, but is it really not possible?’’ The brunet in question is clutching his phone, lips pulled into a frown while his other hand holds on tightly to the edge of the bench. Whatever he's being told clearly affects him, and whatever reply he receives has his shoulders drooping visibly as he says, ‘’I know, but it was scheduled months ago…’’

It takes Shindou a second to classify the tone in Tenma's voice - not disappointed, but… resigned?

Whatever this conversation is that Tenma is now being forced to share with the entire team, it doesn't reassure Shindou in the slightest.

And it's clear he's not the only one. Although they're trying to hide it, the strategist notices several of his friends shooting worried glances at their captain, and the usual rambunctious chatter is muted. It’s by accident that Shindou and Tsurugi lock eyes over Tenma’s head, but it’s clear to both - they’re equally confused.

Tenma hasn’t hinted at any issue to either of them, and Shindou doesn’t quite know how to feel about that realization. He doesn’t mean to assume, but… well, as far as he knows, the brunet is an open book.

Especially to him and Tsurugi, or so Shindou had thought.

(Tenma respects him, he knows. It's clear the young brunet values his opinion, but he's also comfortable enough to approach Shindou with his issues and insecurities. To ask for help. To let himself be vulnerable.

Shindou appreciates that, could even say he's honored by the faith the brunet puts in him.

So to find out there's apparently something - a situation that seems to be the norm rather than the exception, based on Tenma's reaction - that has such an impact on the brunet, which he hasn't even hinted at towards Shindou nor Tsurugi…

Well, it throws him off more than he thought it would.)

The captain doesn't seem to have noticed the slowly increasing attention on him, too focused on whatever conversation he's having. One that's clearly not going well. “Are you certain?” he asks, sounding dull, and Shindou grimaces. That sounds very different from the Tenma he's used to, and it feels wrong.

‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to complain.’’

That is…

Shindou has to look away from Tenma then. He can’t stand the sight of him so muted, so wrong, and he gets the feeling he is intruding on something he has no right to know about.

Instead he exchanges a look with Kirino next to him, the defender appearing just as startled as the strategist imagines he himself looks.

‘’Alright. I understand.’’ The words are mumbles but where they would otherwise have gone unheard, now the team has become silent enough for it to be picked up. ‘’Right. Goodbye, then.”

Tenma hangs up and drops his phone carelessly in his bag. Then he sighs softly, staring at the ground for several seconds before getting to his feet with the intent to get changed.

Shindou debates saying something, thoroughly unsettled because he's seen Tenma worried, sad and even angry a few times, but this… this is somehow worse. Clearly upset about something and yet shrugging it off completely at the same time. He's got no idea how to handle this new side of his friend, and he doesn't like it one bit.

He doesn’t seem to be the only one doubting themselves, something hesitant in the air as the team waits - for what, Shindou can’t quite tell. For Tenma to explain? The captain doesn’t even seem to notice their focus on him as he pulls off his suit jacket, but the strategist can’t help but wonder if that’s really the case. Either the brunet is so lost in his own thoughts he doesn’t notice the unusual quiet in the changing room, or he’s pretending.

It’s Tsurugi who breaks first, and Shindou feels a little relieved. Whatever issue Tenma may be facing, his guess is that he'll most easily open up to either Shinsuke, Tsurugi, or Shindou himself. He's never asked for the details but he knows Tenma and Tsurugi share a lot - Tsurugi about his brother and his time as a Seed, and Tenma about his insecurities.

“What was that all about?” the striker mumbles from the brunet’s other side, a quiet offer to talk about it.

Tenma stills in the midst of securing the captain's band around his arm.

He doesn't even look at his best friend and there's a sudden, horrid feeling of dread in the pit of Shindou's stomach that he doesn't know the origin of.

“Nothing to concern yourself with,” Tenma says evenly, and that's it. He goes back to changing like nothing happened. Like his team didn't just watch him act more cautious and restrained than he did while they traveled to the future.

He hadn't even hesitated.

Hadn't even seemed to consider talking to his team - and sure, that might not be considered odd if it were anyone else, but this is Raimon. They are arguably closer than any other team, after everything they've faced together. It's their whole thing, their never ending support of each other and their strong bonds, the reason they've made it this far, and if there's anyone who enforces that stereotype, it's Tenma.

And yet he hadn't even spared Tsurugi a single glance as he'd answered.

Shindou doesn't know what to think.

With the sudden, painful, and most importantly unusual sense of awkwardness in the air, Raimon finishes getting changed. Coach Endou shows up not long after, as bright and enthusiastic as he always is, and at least that manages to lighten the mood a little. He repeats their strategy once more, supported by Haruna refreshing the most important data on the Arakumo team, and the boys listen intently to his advice until he dismisses them with a few minutes to spare.

There's chatter in the changing room again, the excitement at the prospect of a match against a team as challenging as Arakumo resurfacing, and yet Shindou still finds himself watching his captain.

The brunet doesn't join in on any conversations, lips thin and shoulders still a bit tense.

He approaches Aoi.

The girl looks up from where she's preparing towels for the boys for later, her smile fading the moment she catches sight of him in favor of a frown. “Are you okay?” she asks.

Tenma mutely shakes his head, eyes downcast.

Aoi reaches out for him, catching him by the shoulder. She seems worried, but there's something in the way she approaches the brunet that seems to speak of experience.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Tenma, finally, cracks a smile. “Later,” he tells her. “Wanna join Aki-nee and I for dinner?”

The girl immediately brightens, both at the offer and the prospect of supporting her childhood friend. “I'd love to. I'll let my parents know, do I need to text Aki-san for you?”

“Please.”

The whole interaction speaks of familiarity and care. Shindou, objectively, knew they were friends, childhood friends. Knew they live in the same neighborhood, knew they hang out together often.

Knowing is different from seeing.

The way Aoi had immediately seen something was up, the way she'd known exactly how to react. How Tenma talks to her so easily when he'd seemed painfully uncomfortable with the team, had, in fact, approached her himself because he wanted to talk. The easy invitation for dinner, something they're apparently both so used to that they hadn't even considered that either Aoi's parents or Tenma's guardian could have any problem with the sudden change of plans.

There's a trust there. A trust that, until ten minutes ago, Shindou had believed to extend to the rest of the team.

As the two first-years keep talking, Tenma smiling once more, the strategist is suddenly struck with the feeling he just intruded on something private yet again. He turns away sharply.

And catches Tsurugi's gaze once more.

Seems like he wasn't the only one keeping an eye on Raimon's wayward captain - and from the frown pulling at Tsurugi's lips, it's clear the striker recognized the same thing he did.

Tsurugi is far too good at masking his emotions, but for once Shindou can make out the confusion - and dare he say the hurt - in his eyes.

Though neither of them says a word, there's a quiet understanding between them.

For all that Tenma seems to depend on them, in the span of a single phone call it has become painfully clear that there’s a boundary that neither of them had been aware of before.

And Shindou can’t help but wonder why that doesn’t surprise him as much as he thought it would.

------------

Okay, so I tried to include Taiyou like you asked, but he didn’t want to be written. Neither did Raimon really realize they ‘messed up’, as you said, rather it’s a slow suspicion creeping up on them. This is sort of the start of the process in which Raimon realizes, ‘oh, wait, something isn’t exactly right here’.

That’s also because I’ve got some more things planned for them. Tenma has issues, but he’s also not the person to acknowledge them, or blame Raimon for their actions - but it still bothers him unconsciously and I’m hoping to build on that. Rather than outright telling Raimon, or even showing there’s a problem, he’d prefer to ignore his own feelings on the matter. He’s just not the type of person to keep grudges or blame others.

And then there's the rest of the team to consider - there's other people who still have opinions on what happened at the start of the year, but simply haven't brought it up while they were dealing with evil organizations and time traveling. Midori, for example, won't stay silent forever, and she's certainly no fan of how Tenma and Shinsuke were treated in the beginning.

Also, that phone call is actually important, but in the AR timeline is also something Tenma only faces during the third-year, AKA two years from this point in time. Very slow-going, basically, which is again why this drabble doesn't really solve anything.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed (despite the long wait, sorry about that)!

[could-transition-save-him]

Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4

Reasoning:

i am actually literally shocked no one's sent him in yet naoto is like THE transmasc argument-starter. he literally says he wishes he was born a man, he only walks back on his shadow also claiming he wishes to be a man when SOMEBODY ELSE PROMPTS HIM, and just in general he's incredibly uncomfortable being seen as a woman, wearing feminine clothing, etc. transitioning not only would have saved him in a meta sense (from having maybe the worst written subplot in a persona game), it would have been exactly what his shadow (his suppressed inner thoughts he doesn't want to admit to) wants, so it would be saving him within the context of the game too, and setting him more on the same level as everybody else who admitted to their shadows representing thoughts they did have. (except kanji, but he has his own issues writing-wise)

The thing about Naoto is that the plot of P4 opens with introducing Naoto as a man. He is referred to as a man by others, refers to himself as one, and wants to act and be seen as a man. Later in the game it is revealed that he is "actually" a woman who binds, and was "only acting like a man" in order to be taken seriously as a detective. This reveal happens via a representation of his innermost self, like his soul, talking about how the effort is useless and he would be better off submitting to a "surgery" to "fix" him. After this reveal, Naoto is referred to with feminine terms and wears more "feminine" clothing. He is also implied to be in a relationship with a previously introduced character who up until that point had very clearly and explicitly been gay, but who is still interested in Naoto after he "returns to being a woman". Surely you and I both understand that he is an incredibly unfotunately written transmasc character. A lot of people in fandom see him as transfeminine which I respect the grind for but I simply don't think it's true. He has always been a man to me ever since I was a little girl who wanted to grow up to be a man

[nochangeintheplan]

hiii! just want to say how happy I was to find your page. it seems like everywhere on the internet (except tumblr- but even then I've seen some hate) DESPISES yakuza 3.. like they won't even acknowledge the good the game has. is it the best? no! but they would sooner brush off the plot the game set up and the amazing characters to say it's ass and looks bad, just say ur going through a quality drop from yakuza kiwami 2. yakuza 3 brought us MORNING GLORY. THE PLACE THAT IS KIRYUS MAIN MOTIVE?? like it's the whole reason kiryu went into hiding.. it set up the future games. (also humanized him soo much but that's a topic for another day) THEN I CAME ACROSS THIS PAGE! your love for this game clearly shows through your introspective art and beautiful ask blog! I spent ab a whole night going through ur page gushing bc 'omg someone who writes mine and daigo correctly! and doesnt make mine's ONLY character trait about being obsessed with daigo!!' keep up the amazing work!! I also look forward to seeing your other works that are unrelated to yakuza! have a wonderful day!

(In case u see this ask again somewhere else I sent it to the wrong blog at first LOL)

Thank you so much for sendin in your ask! I'm really glad you've enjoyed the stuff I've been throwing up on the internet about my favorite little guys.

And yeah, for a good while in most fan spaces people had a pretty big dislike for Y3, and I think a lot of it just comes down to fandom bandwagoning dissuading people from playing it or giving it much of a chance. Right now actually I've seen somewhat of a shift in some spaces where suddenly 3 is underrated and people are apparently (?) dogging on 2 where it used to be considered peak. It's all cyclical really, but I'm glad when 3 gets the attention I feel it deserves.

I do understand where people's dislike comes from honestly, but it is definitely my personal favorite! For all its faults, I think it has some of the strongest character moments of the games, personal stakes, and drama, with stellar animation that more than makes up for the older graphics that might put some people off. And of course, Mine lmao. I can't say how right I am in how I characterize Mine and Daigo since I'm sure I fall pretty short of even my own standards of how I see them (and am guilty of simplifying them because its funny lm ao), but I'm happy folks like my take on the guys! I have A LOT OF THOUGHTS on these dudes (obviously) which I'd love to write up sometime. I have an ask about my Minedai HCs where I will probably dump it, but that and a lot of asks have been put on the backburner until I get the time to address them all to the extent I want to.

If you wanna look at my non-yakuza stuff, I have a main which I basically do not use; but it does exist!

Anyway, thank you again for writing in! I really do appreciate it a ton, and I love all the lil things y'all send me.