#this is not cute or funny or sexy. it's selfish

[marzipanandminutiae]

your need to suck off the statue is not more important than its preservation for thousands of years more

so other people can see it and want to suck it off

keep your goddamn skin oils to yourself

(I HOPE these are AI, for the first time in my life. what kind of entitled bullshit)

[loveandleases]

I actually forgot asking you this XD

So imagine a type of personality - like a shy, sweet, easily flustered MC, maybe in pastel or cozy comfort clothes / A badass, take-no-shit-from-no one MC with the combat boots, jacket and tight jeans. (Stay with me here)

Then the ROs discover (whether through online, insta post or just a friend msging) one of those black and white model pics - and it's soft!MC being hot, sexy and a 'status fatale' (gender neutral way of femme fatale? ;; closest description I can get at 4am) vibe OR badass!MC being classy, elegant and fabulous in a fancy, charming way? How would the ROs feel seeing that?

(and just so Cam doesn't get jealous of another photographer took this photo - let's say the photo was taken by a mutual friend of MC and Cam, who is also a photographer, is happily dating/engaged/married AND is totally doing this to tease both MC and Cam 🤣)

Feel free to decide if this is in rela or not :3 enioy~

Lol, where you playing Fields this late!? Status finale really has a ring to it~ (lets do crush stage!)

❤️Cam - He was just doom scrolling when he saw the photo, it took him less than a minute to recognize MC. Dressed up like that. They look hot and he is definitely pouting. Pouting and screenshotting the image for future...inspiration? Yeah, yeah inspiration. He needs to do a new shoot anyways. He will try and beat around the bush about it, why MC took the photo, why they didn't tell him. Then he will just say that as your bestie, you owe him a shoot. That is totally how this works. He needs to be allowed to capture you in the same way...this isn't for selfish reasons. He will get flustered, looking at the photo again. MC captured in a different way, its thrilling to him. When MC gives him a questioning glance Cam will stutter pretend he has something to do. That friend who took the photos is going to get a very rude wake up call, because Cam wants all of them. Very gimme gimme gimme.

💙 G - They get strangled on their tea, smacking themselves on the chest to try and catch their breath. G was just looking at the recent clothing line coming up, knowing they needed to get something nice to wear to see their parents. What they didn't expect was to see MC, clothes hugging their body, the look in their eyes made G's skin heat. Had they seen it before? Those eyes looked so alluring and yet, G can't remember if this is the first time they've seen it or not. G will be annoyed that they enjoy how MC looks, that it does more than make them think about MC. A thought they will try to knock out of their head as soon as it pops in. They will bury the emotions as deep as possible, after they look at the photo a few more times. No matter how much they hate to admit it, they always thought MC was attractive. With a bitter taste in their mouth there is one thought in G's mind, I wasn't the only one who thought so.

💚 Kara - Too cute! She's screen shotting, sending MC a text. "Why don't you ever take cute photos with me?" She was serious in her question, though she ensured to send a few emojis to come off as playful. Granted Kara's online presence is high, these photos she would keep to herself. Just like she did with the memories of when she would spend time with MC when they worked together. There's nothing wrong with thinking your sibling's ex-fiancé is attractive, sweet, funny. Especially when they're your friend. There's no underlying meaning as to why Kara makes the photo her background...none at all.

💛 M - They had seen the photo when scrolling, just something to break up the time between when they waited for their editor to reply back. M had tossed their phone behind them, and hopefully somewhere that they could find later. Their face bloomed with a blush, one they covered under their palms, face pressed so hard against the desk that it would likely leave a mark. They might have squealed appreciatively at the photo...maybe...possibly. To them it almost seemed impossible to be MC, they never looked like that before. Maybe that's why their so flustered, because they looked different. Should they ask MC about it? Damn it....why are you so....in a maid costume though? Alright...time to find their phone.

💜 Isaac - They try to ignore that feeling in their chest, the one that is telling them they like what they see, they want to see more, want to be around MC more. In fact they go so far as to close out the page and try and push the image from their thoughts. Which is easier said than done. MC looks good, great even. So good that it's leaving Isaac feeling like they should have saved that damn photo. That worries them, this feeling of wanting to hold on to them, even just a fraction. They'll make a flirty remark later on when they see MC, because that's what they do, a nice little cover. Flirt and feign ignorance. Ignorance of what they feel for MC, of the potential there.

🖤 Ardent - Damn, color him impressed. In fact color him more than impressed. Who knew the person he sees fighting to keep their eyes open, dressed in pjs, hair all messed up when its time for rent could look like this. Well....to be honest Ardent thought MC looked good like that too, but he will deny it. He thinks MC looks hot, too hot. Unfair really considering he doesn't get to see MC all dressed up. Ardent would be a bit annoyed, because why does the people who get to photograph MC get to witness how good they look and not him. That picture is coming with him, across the hall where he will annoyingly knock on the door until MC answers, and he will make a quip about if you're making such good money modeling he will want more rent. (just to get under mc's skin) "Ya know what, I need a decoy date. Mom's coming in down. Call it a favor? Or..I'll even let you skip out on next months rent."

[rosenclaws]

Sorry if it's weird. Do you have a fav scenario of Hugh/Wolverine/Leopold but more like fluff or smthg. than sex? Just the thing you really like to imagine with them lik idk. making breakfast with Leopold or something? Something that brings you joy when you thing about it 🫣🫣 I'm so sorry

SO MANY I realized now that I tend to lean towards angst bc I just love angst but I have soooo many fluffy ideas.

For Logan

Something along the lines of retiring with him. Just giving up the X-Men life to be a little selfish. You move to some remote mountain town. Logan works in lumber as he used to and you work at some tiny shop. Life is peaceful.

OH the first time Logan gets greys in his hair. Just the pouting from the fact that he's finally aged and you find it sexy. Just cooing and telling him that he's still your handsome boy.

Just flirty Logan who likes to make you all flustered and make your powers go haywire. Or who just flirts without on the comms.

Worst!Logan who has to get a minimum wage job to afford living here. Just the absolute hilarity that would ensue watching him work as a barista or like at a barnes n noble would be so funny

HANDYMAN WORST LOGANNNNNN (okay that one might turn into smut eventually but rn its just a fluff idea)

As for Leopold. I mean the possibilities are endless

Taking Leo to an amusement park and he comes home with a stuffed teddy bear or something

this is more angst to fluff but Leopold who is being hit on and says yes to a date with a woman without even realizing and you're all jealous and pouty and Leopold finds it absolutely adorable because he wants you and no one else.

SINGING WITH HIMM like the reader is a singer or theater actress and leopold can play the piano bc i said so and its just a cute little duet.

[locustonlioden-blog]

The Princess of Hell, everybody! Inspiration to all

But its ok, hes defending the hotel! Those loan sharks (mortal hellborns mind you) are just trying to get the 50k someone hiding out here stole and avenge someone she ran over. She was selfish, she stole, but she stuck it to the man I guess, and thats a start!

*spongebob narrator voice* A few episodes later...

Adam: Prepare to slaughter everyone in that shit hotel!

Lute: Rip Vaggies $%$% mouth out her $%$%!

Husk: Talking while fighting doesn't help...

Charlie: *yapping*

Everyone struggling for their lives:

Apologizing for deflecting them with her shield, as everyone around her litters the ground with their corpses...easily the most powerful one there-she knows it, she isn't scared...everyone else is though...as Alastors blood seeps into her roof, she shoots off some fireworks with a cute lil sowwy!

Oh, geeze what a day! Shes like that person in the grocery store who keeps apologizing for getting bumped into. Is this supposed to be cute? Guess Charlie takes shit now, in big heaping portions no less.

Then she...

oops, wrong universe, hold on...

yea thats it

AW NAW Alastor was sposed to handle him!

Pentious manages to confess his love, get in his ship, charge the death ray and get zapped into oblivion in about the time it takes Charlie to emerge from her hiding place. Ok, he works fast. Fair enough. Oh wow, shes finally getting mad! Yes the one who causes hellquakes when shes stressed, its about time to unleash some of that!

Watch out, shes got her pets and has donned her spirit halloween sexy devil costume. Your ass is toast sir.

Oh shit, Razzle went faster than Rhaegal did approaching Dragonstone. I remember Viv saying Charlie has wings. Why didn't they fly themselves up there? Did she risk her pets lives for the spectacle? "Oh, look who thinks they're badass now" Yea Adam, kind of my thoughts too

I have to say the VaggiexLute beatdown that interrupted this mess unlocked my clenched jaw somewhat so that was nice DING DING

Her pet just being murdered, Charlie turns her back on the assailant long enough for him to braid her hair while she wails in dismay

She gets plastered into the sign which might have been funny if it were set up properly, but its not so Im back to cringing. I cant help but think it would have been better if she had been gun ho to fight but just clumsy and unable to hit her target. Getting tossed into the sign really does a number on her for some reason.

She finally gets a hit in thank God

Thats PRINCESS of HELL to YOU, PIG

Yea ok simba.

Then Mufasa *ahem* Lucifer salvages her mess. Guess this one hasn't taught her how not to take shit from other demons.

Poor thing doesn't like to get her hands dirty. Not directly, anyway...

Anyway, the takeaway is

I feel ripped off where is my girl who beat Killjoys ass on live TV over a pen

[parlerenfleurs]

Ah, to be clear this is about people's general response to the cooking poll and not about the grilling art. I've never tried but I guess grilling is its own separate skill, I wouldn't know, and in any case this brings joy and is funny (he would react like that to finding out he lacks a skill he deems important xD). I'm just unhappy to know so many people don't know about one of Lan WangJi's loveable qualities/impressive skills and are running away with weird headcanons.

*gnashing my teeth, clenching my fists* I will.. spread love... Not hate... So I guess my only recourse is to singlehandedly flood the tag with "Lan WangJi can cook as well as Wei WuXian's favourite restaurant and it's canon" art.

[dyemelikeasunset]

I can't sleep so I'm venting. for the most part i love my d&m readers, but oml sometimes i get qpoc blues so bad 😭😭

It's just liiiike. ppl either don't talk about Mor or completely misinterpret her personality. Like I can always tell if my readers are black or not because nonblack readers no NOT see Mor's significance, or just miss the mark when they talk about her, or they misread her personality. Like I don't understand what's so hard to understand about a cute and thoughtful artist??

AND LIKE LMAO Dom's sexuality gets brought up all the time but no one talks about Mor being a lesbian and how rare that is to find in media 😭 white lesbians are always talking about "we need more open lesbians in media!! ppl shouldn't be afraid to use the word lesbian!! blah blah" and i'm like "here you go!!" and no one claps at all lmao. Like I get it, i know why it happens, i understand racial microaggressions, i know how fandom spaces treat Black women, I UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN STILL BE UPSET. I have the right to be upset about it!!! 💀💀 And I know fem lesbians get ignored all the time, invalidated all the time, but it just sucks to see it happen to my character. I just feel like her being lesbian doesn't clock a lot of people, and I get asked to do more thirst trap art of Mor and I do want to but i'm also trying to be careful about like. Idk reducing a dark skinned fem lesbian to being validated only thru being sexy? LMAO.... Mor should be able to be attractive and lovable without tons and tons of thirst trap art (and it's not like I don't do it at all!! I'm not trying to be overprotective or deny her sexiness but I guess it's considered not enough?? give me a break)

And mannnn I was so mad actually that several comments voiced thoughts that essentially said Mor didn't "help" or "take care" of Dom enough, and that when Dom was finally opening up to her it was "Morgan finally doing something" LIKE HELLO??? HELLO??? It's DOM'S flaw that she can't open up? And Morgan does a lot??? I know immature ppl do not appreciate more soft and domestic/feminine forms of care bc they're used to taking their mothers for granted lmao but wooow I was taken aback. First of all, like, I try to show that Mor is the main cook, works just as much as Dom (let's go double income household), is always checking in on Dom's comfort as she navigates being queer, and is overall a very considerate girlfriend. AND SECOND OF ALL LMAO like even if she didn't do all that she doesn't need to have relationship currency to have a doting girlfriend, like the fucking trope of black women needing to suffer for love is so terrible I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND i"M NOT EVEN BLACK. Like there is NOTHING WRONG with their typical dynamic and I'm sick of people acting like there is. SOMEONE SAID DOM WAS LIKE A COMFORT PILLOW W NO AGENCY AND i"M LIKE WTFDYM???? She has TONS of agency and her sense of agency says she wants to LOVE AND DOTE ON HER PARTNER LIKE LMAO. WHAT?? Why is that hard to understand??? Is it because I made one (1) joke bout Mor being a pillow princess and the anti-princess squad are grinding their teeth in the bushes seething over it? Ppl are so twisted sometimes oh my goddddd. Like as an ace who was very confused navigating the lesbian dating scene as a teen and young adult I WISH i had met a pillow princess. Sometimes ppl don't realize that stone dynamics are very safe for aces!! Dom literally says she prefers it!! It's not Mor being selfish like lord please GOD ALLAH I'M TIRED I'M SO TIRED

and like on the topic of Domi overall she is more "popular" but sometimes I feel like people don't even really take the time to appreciate the significance about her either. She's not just a funny thirst trap 😭 and I feel like ppl dont acknowledge that she's asian half the time. I have so many white aces who only zone in on that aspect of her and it's like YEAH I GET IT, I'm ace and we don't have a lot of nuanced rep but she's also got more layers than that too. Tons of people related to her in the chapters where she talks about her childhood abuse yet very few people really, like, talked about the type of generational trauma that is very deeply embedded in her different cultures, no one saw that and oooof idk idk it felt inivisible. It's sometimes harder to talk about the racist microaggressions that Domi experiences thru my readers bc ppl will argue "well most webtoon leads are asian" but not many of them are asian in a way that like. talk about it. I'm born in the US so my experiences with being othered as an asian is just gonna be different and it's gonna affect my art and writing but it feels so unappreciated. I've had some queer asians relate to her but i can count them on my hand 💀 (I actually think it's two LMAO i"M SO SAD)

And going back to Dom and the comfort pillow w no agency comment lmao. This is another thing that rubs me the wrong way is once again, people are ignorant to the ways asians get pigeon-holed to media roles that have us being depicted as incapable. Maybe I want Dom to be more of a protector archetype bc I'm tired of meek Asian women in media? 🤔 Maybe I want Dom to be a prince-like character because asians get emasculated a lot?? 🤔🤔 Maybe I want Domi to maintain her prince persona instead of being "'physically' androgynous/masculine but really soft and girly on the inside uwuwu please treat me like a 'real' girl" because even in east asian media we won't allow women to exhibit strength and dependability??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Like why is a tough girl empowering but once we have a gentle and doting personality in a romance it's considered cliche and the flaw of her partner for being "too weak." MAYBE THEIR PRINCE/PRINCESS DYNAMIC COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER??? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED? I WROTE THEM THAT WAY FOR A REASON??

Good lord this turned into an essay but I have so many things on my mind always

if you read this all. Thanks. I mainly needed to scream into a towel and put this down somewhere bc I complain about these issues to my discord and they understand/validate me all the time, but I wanna give them a break 😭 I also lowkey wanna document my various feelings as I work through Dom & Mor so I can remember and also grow from it

[xpao-bearx]

"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 2 HERE

Read Part 4 HERE

NOTES: The fact that the idea for this part was already causing me such INTENSE brainrot way before I even finished writing Part 2 (which is pretty funny cuz I actually had a TOTALLY different idea compared to how this part is now, but hey my stoopid brain does what it does) 👁👄�� Anyhoe, I am SO stoked for this (it also turned out quite long)!! It's finally got ✨️smut✨️ which I know my fellow sluts have been waiting for, BUT it's not the actual sexy sex yet cuz I'm saving that for the last part. Don't worry, it'll definitely be worth it~ ;)

BTW there's a part in this where Steven recites French poetry by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore and I used Google Translate for the English, so if the translation is off then I'm very sorry!

And I just wanna thank y'all sooo much again from the bottom of mah lil black heart, like SERIOUSLY! You lovelies are truly spoiling me with all your sweet comments, likes, and reblogs 😭❤️❤️❤️ And I swear that after the unexpectedly huge success of this fic, it made me fall RIDICULOUSLY HARDER for Oscar ISNACC and I have y'all to blame for dragging me even deeper into DILF Hell Heaven. Like, it's actually a problem when I suddenly feel like giggling and kicking my feet while I'm suffering at work just at the thought of him 😂

I also haven't been this confident and motivated in a while, and this is one of the VERY rare times I'm actually updating pretty quickly without the temptation of slacking off and abandoning it. I love writing and this fic is my baby, and it's just so fucking incredible that you guys are loving what I'm putting out, too, so once more: THANK YOU 🥰

Who knows, maaaybe more Moon Knight fics will come out in the future from me and fingers crossed that Moon Knight Season 2 will be confirmed 🤭

And the tag list has been updated! I also included some readers who I thought wanted to follow this whole series, so if you find yourself tagged despite not asking to be then that's why LMAO xD As always, the tag list is open so don't be shy to ask if you'd like to be added on it! ^_^

TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland @the-ginger-draws @bitchyglitterfox @readingfan @spidey-3 @minigirl87 @wandasupremacy @simba-will-live-on @wavychelle @thepowerthismanhasoverme @blackholegladiator @kittytiddywinks @literalfkinsimp

Part 3: Like a virgin, touched for the very first time

After the flurry of honesty and an insane whirlwind of emotions, you and Steven finally winded down. It was a bit awkward following that, but he asked (well, sputtered) if you'd like to stay. He immediately apologized, knowing that he was overstepping boundaries and he completely understands if you rejected such a mental idea.

But it was late, and there was absolutely no way he was going to let you go home alone especially with the state you're in. And also...

Well, call him a selfish knob, but he just wanted--needed--to be with you.

But you agreed to stay--enthusiastically so. You both were flustered, though sharing a laugh together had all the tension fade away.

Because, truly, you were right where you were supposed to be.

♡•••🌙•••♡

Steven prepared dinner for the two of you, consisting of five-minute vegan mac and cheese courtesy of his microwave then indulging yourselves with the box of chocolates he brought at the failed date for dessert. It wasn't "grand" by any means, but it was the best you ate in a long time.

All thanks to the cute host... Actually, your gorgeous boyfriend.

Just the thought had you grinning like a doofus, the butterflies in your belly now transforming into fucking birds.

Did that make sense? Hell no, but being with Steven absolutely did.

"Love..." Steven's strong arms encircled around your waist from behind, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "Make yourself comfortable, yeah? Don't worry, I'll sleep on the couch."

You gasped, affronted, quickly whipping around to face him. "Excuse you, sir, but I have every reason to be worried!" You huffed dramatically. "You are definitely not sleeping on the couch, Steven. And if you still insist that you are, then I'll just join you!"

Steven chuckled, his cheeks glowing pink. He rested his chin atop your head, pulling you closer to him. "The couch is too small for the two of us... So for a good night's sleep, I suppose I have no choice but to share the bed with you, yeah?"

"You say that as if you'd rather not." You pouted playfully, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head against his chest. You can faintly hear the erratic thrum of his heartbeat, matching your own.

"I'm just pulling your leg, sweetheart." He teased, kissing your head.

How the fuck did he ever get so lucky? He thought he was going crazy, that this was all just a dream--but it wasn't. Dreams were never this good. You were right here, right now, in his arms. Wholly accepting him for who he is. Loving him.

And he fucking loved you, too.

"Where's the bathroom, baby?"

Baby. The name made his heart stop for a full second. Heat once again crept up to his cheeks and all the way to the tips of his ears, his voice not coming out as all he could do was just point towards the bathroom as he stared down at you in a completely lovestruck sort of wonder.

You giggled, blushing as well before leaning up on your tiptoes and pecking his nose. "You go relax, Steven. I'll join you soon."

He watched you saunter off, still glued in place and a hand atop his frenzied heart.

He had no idea how in the world he was supposed to relax, especially now that the situation fully hit him like a freight train. But thankfully, he found his legs moving for him and his body taking the liberty of changing into his cozy pyjamas before climbing onto bed.

He put on his ankle restraint and settled down, covering the blanket over him like some posh Victorian duchess as he laid completely stiff. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, lifting his head and squinting every so often at the closed bathroom and your obscure shadow dancing amidst the light peeking through the tiny crack of the door underneath.

And it was so...quiet. Neither Marc nor Jake has uttered a single peep, which was highly unusual. Either one or both of them always had something to say, regardless of whatever Steven was doing and he was the same whenever they were fronting.

But as of the moment, he couldn't even handle speaking with Marc. Not after what he did. Marc and Jake were his family and there was no doubt that he and Marc will eventually make up, but no one was ever allowed to hurt you--especially now that you two were officially together.

Jake, on the other hand... Well, he was known to butt into Steven's business. But Jake always gave him a good push, and he would never actually force Steven to do something if Jake didn't believe he could do it. Truly, Steven owed Jake for technically setting you and him up.

But besides Marc, Steven was more surprised that Jake wasn't yapping away especially when you were involved. It didn't go unnoticed for Steven the way Jake has...changed. Only when you were around, at least. And despite Jake being the stealthiest of them all, Steven could always feel him silently observing you at work deep within the recesses of his mind.

But Steven never said anything. He just understood--accepted--Jake, and he was sure that Jake knew. But Steven didn't mind it; in fact, it made him feel less alone.

After all, how could anyone ever resist you?

He then sighed deeply, shaking his head. Clearly it was no use just laying in his bed like a corpse, so he sat up and threw the blanket off before grabbing a random book from his bedside table and donned his glasses. But his brain was too muddled, heart still not ceasing its turbulent thump as he couldn't even register the words popping out of the worn pages he has read a thousand times.

"So you wear glasses, too, huh?"

He flinched slightly at your voice, seeing you standing at the foot of his bed. You chuckled softly before your eyes landed on his ankle restraint, raising a brow.

"S-Sorry, it's..." He scrambled for something--anything. "I...I know it's a huge red flag, but I have a...sleeping disorder. I promise it ain't for something, um...sexual."

"No need to make excuses, Steven. I don't think it's a red flag."

'And I wouldn't mind if you used it on ME.' You bit back the risqué words that nearly tumbled out your foolish, needy mouth.

Steven only smiled shyly, putting the book away before he gasped when he suddenly felt something plop down on his lap.

Something soft, warm, and lovely.

"Is...is this okay..?" Now it was your turn to be shy, meeting his gaze tentatively.

"More than okay." He breathed, staring up at you with an awed grin. "Gods, Y/N, you're beautiful."

"Thanks, this is my 'I wonder how I didn't pass out from running the most I never thought I could' look." You laughed. But Steven didn't, guilt clouding his features.

He placed his hands on your hips, brows knitting together and jaw squaring. "I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn't have to do that, didn't have to meet me. I would've hated it, but I would've totally understood if you never wanted to see me again. And yet...I was happy when you did come."

"I'm happy, too, Steven." You assured him, one hand on his shoulder while the other combed through his fluffy curls. "And honestly, I would do it again. If you were in, hell, Egypt--I'd still find a way to you, no matter what."

His expression softened, a smile replacing his frown as he leaned forward and laid his head on your chest. "Please do one favour for me, though?" You kept quiet, patiently awaiting his words. "If you ever meet Marc, punch the prick."

"Baby, I can only slap him! No way I'd ever damage your godsent face." You laughed again, little snorts wracking your body that Steven found so damn endearing. Then he looked up, his chin resting in between the pillowy softness of your breasts.

"Love... Call me that again."

"Baby." You obeyed with zero hesitation, and Steven groaned. A deep, rumbly sound that sent tingles all throughout your body. You lightly tugged on his hair, making his head tip back and gaze locking with his pretty brown eyes that have gotten darker, pupils dilated.

"Baby..." Your voice came out as a pathetic whine, your hand on his shoulder holding on for dear life. "Wanna kiss you."

Like a predator pouncing on its prey, Steven swooped up to catch your lips--only for the both of your glasses to bump into each other.

An awkward beat passed between the two of you before you both exploded into riotous laughter. The two of you fell side by side on the bed, giggling so much that tears sprang to your eyes and your stomachs hurt.

Once you two finally calmed down, you exchanged bright smiles and Steven rolled on top of you. His elbows dug into the bed on either side of you, making sure not to bear down his weight on you. He then took off both of your glasses, setting them aside on the bedside table.

"Shall we try again, love?" But Steven didn't wait for your response, crashing his lips with yours.

It was chaste. Feather light. So much better than what you ever imagined it to be like. Steven's lips were unexpectedly soft, but there was a certain firmness in the way he kissed you. Your eyes fluttered shut, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in closer to deepen the kiss.

Steven cradled the side of your face gently, lovingly, as if he was handling glass. Then, experimentally, you nipped on his bottom lip. He gasped sharply, and you slid your tongue inside his mouth.

It was obvious how inexperienced you were, but Steven certainly didn't mind. In fact, it only turned him on even more that you wanted to spend your precious first time with him.

And he was definitely never letting you go.

You moved your tongue uncertainly, small panic brewing inside of you if you were doing it right. All those shows and movies made kissing look so easy; but you were soon snapped out of your thoughts as Steven's tongue tangled with yours, taking the lead as he coaxed you into a lazy, sensual dance.

And that drew a long, beautiful moan out of you. Steven craved more, more, more--wanting to push you to the very limit, a lustful, greedy beast suddenly possessing his body.

But oh, he knew, deep down, that beast has always been there; waiting for the right moment to be released.

Waiting for you.

He then slowly pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting your tongues. Your entire body was flushed, lips puffy and eyes hazy with anguished yearning as you stared up at him. Your hands reached out, clinging on tightly to his black sweatshirt. Despite being on the bed, you felt as if you were free falling into a bottomless pit.

And you wanted to fall--with Steven.

"Steven..." You murmured, one leg wrapping around his waist. "Are you gonna make love to me?"

"No." His reply was instant, levelling his gaze with yours. "I will, but not tonight, darling. I don't have any condoms."

"I...I don't mind..."

A low purr reverberated from his throat. Fuck, were you even aware of what you were saying? Of the sweet, tempting danger it entailed?

He might as well just tie you up, keep you in his apartment forever. With him. ONLY him.

He shook his head, quickly stamping down such dark, possessive thoughts.

"Love." He emphasized through clenched teeth, and you saw the way his inner conflict flickered in his eyes. "Not tonight, Y/N. But that doesn't mean I can't still please you, yeah?"

He pulled your leg off of his waist then pressed his lips to your ankle, electricity coursing directly to where you desired it most.

He never broke eye contact, his lips slowly trailing down the smooth expanse of your leg before pausing at your crotch. He chuckled deeply, ignoring it as he moved to your stomach.

You mewled desperately, wiggling slightly. "Baby." You pleaded, nearly breathless. "Please... Don't fuckin' tease me."

"M'sorry, pretty girl. Just let me worship you, yeah? You deserve it." He hummed, completely unbothered. "I deserve it."

He pushed up your tank top, your breasts spilling erotically and...fuck, was that a belly button piercing?

"First year of college. It was a completely lucid decision." You giggled at his stunned expression. "Hurt like a bitch, but I've always wanted one."

"Looks like I'm not the only one with secrets, then." He chuckled, kissing your belly with utmost tenderness and your breath getting caught in your throat. His lips languidly traced upwards, reaching your breasts and burying his face in between them and inhaling deeply.

Now he understood why Jake wouldn't shut the hell up about the way you smelled after asking you out.

His left hand groped one of your breasts, breath stuttering at the wonderful plushness. Then he raised his head, eyes locking intently with yours once more as his tongue flicked your pert nipple. You whimpered for more, more, more--back arching as you eagerly offered yourself to him.

And he just as eagerly accepted your gracious offer, mouth latching on to your nipple. You moaned as he sucked and squeezed, his teeth grazing slightly against the sensitive bud, only magnifying the maddening sensations you had no control over yet had the privilege to be a willing victim to.

He pulled away with a resounding 'pop' before giving your other breast equal devoted attention, his right hand making its descent lower, lower, lower--slipping inside your shorts and his chest blazing at the dampness that greeted him.

"Bloody hell..." He grunted, erection straining painfully against his pyjama pants. He glanced down, his much larger hand cupping your entire pussy. "Wanna fucking taste you, angel. Can I? Please, love, I wanna taste your pretty pussy."

"Y-You don't even have to ask..." You squeaked, completely scarlet from head to toe. "Just take me, baby."

Steven grinned wolfishly, a gleam in his eyes that you've never seen before making your heart skip a beat. Without wasting another moment, he practically ripped your shorts off. He groaned as he saw the wet splotch in the middle of your panties, yanking them down your legs before bringing it up to his nose as a shiver ran down his spine at your intoxicating scent.

Your arousal was flowing down to your thighs, eyes glazed over as if in a trance as you watched Steven sniff your panties like a beast in heat. Then he shimmied out of his pants, your eyes widening as his cock stood proudly; thick and veiny, the tip an angry red and leaking with pre-cum. His fist, still clutching on to your panties, wrapped around his cock as he leaned down to meet your pussy.

Instinctively, you snapped your legs shut, hands flying to your face.

"I-I'm sorry!" You sobbed, briskly shaking your head. "I'm sorry, so sorry! I...I can't, Steven..."

You expected him to be furious, and honestly you'd understand if he was. What you didn't expect, however, was him gently removing your hands and tenderly kissing away your tears.

"Hey, hey, it's alright, love." He assured, his hands massaging soothing circles on yours. "What's the matter? You don't want to continue?"

"I-I do, it's just..." You sniffled, blinking away tears and meeting his concerned gaze. "I'm...I'm embarrassed, Steven. It's just... Y-You know it's my first time, and you're doing amazing, it's just...I'm scared I'm not. I...have no idea what the fuck to do, and I'm not even pretty."

"That's not true." His voice was firm, jaw ticking resolutely. His brows furrowed, expression the most serious you've ever seen it. "You're bloody gorgeous, Y/N. I'm the git who doesn't know what the hell you see in me. And don't fret about being inexperienced, love. I'm so happy that you wanna be with me, and if you'd allow me, I wanna spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

You stayed silent, then your lips curved up into a dazzling smile that had Steven utterly weak in the knees. What the hell were you so anxious about, anyway? This was Steven Grant, the man of your wildest dreams. The man you loved.

"I love you, Steven."

Steven froze, tears prickling his eyes. Something between a sob and a chuckle escaped him, positively beaming down at you.

"I love you, too, Y/N."

He then parted your legs, hands quivering slightly. "I love you..." He crouched down, pressing his lips to your inner thigh. "...so fucking much." His tongue darted out, licking the beautiful stretch marks that lined the supple skin of your thighs.

His tongue slowly wandered up, up, up, and you were scarcely breathing once his face was in front of your cunt. His hot breath fanned against your clit; dark, nearly black eyes fixed on yours.

"Quand je vivais tendre et craintive amante..." He recited in French, smiling up at you. "...avec ses feux je peignais ses douleurs."

When I was a tender and fearful lover, with her fires I painted her pains.

You had noticed earlier the French poetry books stacked on Steven's desk, but goddammit you didn't expect he would quote one while he was right in front of your pussy.

You were sure this absolutely sexy menace of a man was trying to murder you.

His thumb then brushed against your clit, making you gasp. He grinned widely, pushing down on your nub as you whimpered and squirmed helplessly.

"Baby..." You begged, tears pouring down your pretty pink cheeks, and there must be something severely wrong with Steven to find it so enticing. "Pretty please... Fuck me with your mouth."

And how could he ever say no to that? He was merely a loyal, desperate slave for his goddess' wishes. For her love.

And so, like a parched man in the desert, he buried his face in your sopping pussy. You yelped, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the sudden--but very much not unwelcomed--intrusion into your deepest, most intimate part.

Steven's groan of appreciation vibrated within your gummy walls, inching ever so deeper, feeling his nose hit a bundle of nerves. Then his tongue licked a long, slow stripe along your mound and up to your clit. You cried out, a broken, pornographic song that echoed throughout Steven's entire flat.

"Gods..." His voice was low, trembling; one hand yet again wrapping around his aching cock, the flimsy fabric of your panties hugging the tip. "You've no idea how much I dreamt of this, Y/N. Waited for this." His other hand settled on your pussy, deft fingers running along your drenched folds. "Such a good girl, tastes so fucking good."

He puckered his lips, kissing your pussy. And the sounds that accompanied were downright filthy, Steven moaning shamelessly, loud squelches and the heady smell of your sex filling the air.

Slowly, carefully, he thrusted a finger inside of you. You keened, your thighs squishing Steven's head and your hands gripping onto his hair. He then added another finger, scissoring his digits and you knew right then and there that you were losing what's barely left of your fucking mind.

You grinded against him, and he bobbed his head zealously in perfect tandem with you. His tongue lapped up and down, up and down, before suddenly driving it inside your hole.

He was rubbing his cock vigorously, watching you, burning this marvelous moment for all eternity into his memories. And as soon as a third finger slipped in, you were fucking gone.

You screamed, finally reaching that peak and falling over it, seeing stars. You gushed around his mouth, and Steven noisily slurped it all up, not daring to leave behind a single drop.

He soon followed, grunting animalistically as his cum sprayed all over your panties. He collapsed against your pussy, in between the heavenly plushness of your thighs, panting raggedly.

Neither of you knew how long you both stayed like that, coming down from your high, until you sliced through the serene silence.

"Wow... Just...wow."

Steven chuckled breathlessly, looking up at you with your wetness glistening on his lips and chin. "Wow, indeed." He then leaned forward, and you gasped as his lips suckled on the skin right next to your clit, claiming you with a dark purple mark.

"You'll be the fucking death of me, Steven Grant." You groaned playfully, pulling on his hair.

He grinned, crawling over your body before moulding your lips together in a passionate liplock. His tongue entwined with yours and you could taste yourself, your brain short circuiting.

He slowly drew away, gently knocking his forehead against yours as his grin grew impossibly bigger.

"I'll make love to you at the Field of Reeds, then."

[velvetvexations]

I was commissioned to write how I'd torture someone without minding for how sexy other people may or may not find it. To my genuine but pleasant surprise the commissioner really did love it, so I thought I'd post it on here.

Warning:

The following artistic exploration of a hypothetical relationship between a dom and sub is very intense, and portrays extreme abuse that should never happen IRL, so please take the time to think about if that may be triggering for you before clicking through. It's told in the second-person, which may make it worse. Content warning for physical abuse, emotional abuse, non-con, drugging, unsanitary, gaslighting, isolation, misgendering towards the dom, and ableism.

Please keep yourself safe, your comfort matters. <3

Object of Affection

The day starts with you walking groggily into the dining room in nothing but the underwear I’ve been making you wear for a couple of weeks now. You look like you have eyes full of sand. You’re late, by the way. I’d have liked us to have left the house thirty minutes ago, but you had to sleep in.

You’re so selfish. But I forgive you.

You look directly at my breasts, because that’s the center of my personality and you have to address it like you would anyone elses face, and start to say something stupid, I don’t really care what. My hand is smacking into your face before you can get the full sentence out. That’s how I say good morning, sometimes. I laugh and tell you how cute you are, stumbling around like you’re drunk. The medicine I put in your drink last night really knocked you the fuck out, didn’t it? It’s a miracle you were able to wake up at all. I know it makes you a little more useless the morning after, but since I love you and I wanted to hurt you down there especially bad last night, I decided you’d be better off sleeping through it. It’s okay, you’ll be sore for ages and ages, you’ll still get to suffer for me, don’t worry.

To make sure you get the point, I grab you between the legs and squeeze as hard as I can. Pain shoots through you like lightning as you whimper and quietly beg me to stop, which makes me laugh, because it’s so funny for you to think you have any say in things. I put you to sleep because I’m so nice, and I chose to, but when I want you to hurt you’re going to hurt, and you’re going to thank me for it.

You fall to the ground and hit your head hard against the floor, because I pushed you, but later I’m going to tell you slipped and fell. My foot comes down hard on your groin, pressing into it with all my weight as I tell you to say thank you.

Go on, I growl, say it. And you do, through a pained moan that makes me want to beat the shit out of you even more, but I press a little harder and remind you you’re supposed to say “thank you, Daddy.”

It’s funny how hard that was for you at first. You were so nervous about misgendering a trans woman, but I loved seeing you squirm as you forced the words out of your mouth. It just sucks that you’re used to it now. It’s hard thinking of offensive things I haven’t made you do or say just to watch you look so uncomfortable you could just about die. I’m going to have to come up with a lot more, but first I’m going to take you out on a nice date.

I know you don’t like what I dress you in, but I do, and that’s all that matters. I have to literally do it for you since you’re too stupid to put your clothes on yourself. I drag your hot pants up for you, help your head and arms into your tank top with WHORE written across it in glitter, and I kiss you on the cheek for being such a good pet. Then I put on your lipstick, cherry red today, because it’s your turn to kiss me.

You get down on your knees, because I don’t go out unless people can see your devotion to me, so we’ve done this a thousand times. I turn around, and you press your lips right up against the seat of my pants, your lips flattening as you did your best to leave a big, colorful mark. Then, knowing how much you hate it, I rip ass right in your face, and chuckle at the fact that you’ve been trained to inhale like you desperately need my gas to live. You can be so well-behaved sometimes, thanks to me being patient enough to to train you.

I grab you by your hair and pull you to your feet, but before we leave, I clasp your collar around your neck, one last finishing touch. I like you down on your hands and knees, crawling next to me as I hold your leash tight, ready to yank whenever I want. I have to do that a lot, since you keep falling behind – and why? Just because the mall is a quarter mile away and you’re bruising your knees something awful? Poor thing. I don’t really care, though, beyond the fact that it gives me something else to yell at you for. And it’s not my fault how warm it is for Autumn, either. Why should I care if you have to put your hands down on far too hot concrete? You know that if you keep complaining I’m going to turn around and throw a kick right into your stomach, so you finally shut up.

As we walk, I notice someone doing yard work gawking at us. That’s the best part of going out together, getting to show off our love. I wonder what he’s thinking. Probably nothing too bad about me, but you, the one who’s crawling like a dog? He probably knows what a freak you are on sight. Someone who wants to be treated like this. Someone who finds fulfillment in being my little pet clown. I almost want to drag you over to him just to see the disgust in his eyes as you get closer, but we wouldn’t want to get too distracted, now would we? If we stopped for everyone who judged you we’d make it home in a few hundred years and not a moment sooner.

In the mall, things are a little different. I let you on your feet, if only because the sound of your knees on the polished floor annoy the shit out of me. Doesn’t stop people from staring, considering you’re still on a leash. Then I remind you of that you had to do for me the next time we went out.

A look of pained confusion crosses your face, then resignation, and you do like I explained to you the day before, sticking your finger right up your nose, digging for a solid minute or two. I bet you look even stupider to anyone who isn’t used to you having nothing between the ears. I can’t tell, because I’ve just internalized it and fully expect you to be as much of a ridiculous dumbass as you are, but everyone else is seeing you blatantly pick your nose and wondering what kind of idiot you have to be to not be embarrassed by your behavior.

You are embarrassed though, of course, or why else would I have you do it? I revel in how red your face is getting, or how you keep nervously looking around to watch people watch you. You must just be an attention whore. It says “whore” on your shirt, doesn’t it? Just be grateful I let you wipe the snot off on your pants instead of sticking it in your mouth and eating it. Maybe next time, if you piss me off.

I take you into the alt-goth store, because I have shit I want to buy, and if I see anything that’d make you look cringe we’ll grab that too. My tits are too big for everything they have here, or most other places for that matter, but that’s fine because it makes them even more noticeable, so I’m not complaining when we go into the dressing room and you watch with slack-jawed awe as my boobs nearly tear through something that would have been too small on me even if I were flat as a board. I notice how affected you are by my magnificence, so I smile and take the shirt off to let you stare at them in their full glory, barely contained by a bra I needed custom-made.

There’s no warning when I suddenly reel you in by your leash with a violent tug, letting your face fall right into my cleavage. I put my hand on the back of your head to keep you there as your training takes over and you start muttering “I love Daddy’s boobs, I love Daddy’s boobs, I love Daddy’s boobs…” like a broken record. I laugh because I can’t even remember if you were this into tits until I terrorized you into worshiping mine.

Remember how I broke a finger every time you looked me in the eyes instead of my chest? I bet every stray glimpse of my face still makes you relive that just a little. Now you’ll never make that mistake again, and I’m as proud of you as anyone can be proud of such a useless loser. Which isn’t much. You know I’m the only person who can stand to put up with you, you’re not capable of eliciting affection from others, but I’m built different and I can manage to put aside my disgust at your existence to take care of you.

And I do take care of you. Aside from putting your clothes on, I also fix your hair, brush your teeth, occasionally wash you with the garden hose, and even help you in the bathroom because you’d probably fuck that up too if you didn’t have me to do everything for you. I don’t care how long you think you’d been doing just fine with those little tasks, even generously assuming you really do believe that at all and aren’t just trying to get out of the tedium of personal hygiene like a lazy slob. The only reason I’m not certain it’s the latter is that I know you really are dumb enough to believe your own imagination.

The fact is, I’m in charge of you and if I wasn’t you’d probably be dead by now, because no one else has ever really loved you. We’ve talked about that more than enough for it to sink into your soul and understand that your friends and family were always just lying whenever it seemed like they might have cared for you even a little bit. You were an annoying burden to them and wherever they are now they’re infinitely happier since I removed you from their lives.

I start to get all sentimental now, sitting down on the dressing room with your face nestled into my chest, petting softly down your neck. You’re mine and I love you. I love you so much. I know our relationship doesn’t make sense to you, because you can’t make sense of kindergarten math, but it’s odd to other people too, you know. They don’t understand that you’re not my partner, you’re my object of affection. More than anyone else I want to hurt you, forever and always until death do us part. I’m happy to stay monogamous because no matter how attractive someone else would look crying as they gagged on my cock, you’re my object, and you alone.

I reach down and squeeze your groin again. You start to quietly sob, tearfully thanking me to hurting you, because you know you deserve it. I start to get excited, and so, so full of love for my object, that I push you off me and onto the floor and take my cock out. Your eyes go wide, transfixed as you get to see your favorite show – your Daddy jerking off. You sit there and stare, the closest thing to sex you’ve ever had or ever will have, consciously at least, and bite your lip with tense passion. This is our equivalent of making love.

I tell you to get out of the way when I’m close, because I don’t want my cum ever interacting with you, and I get off, completely independent of you. It used to make you sad, but now you know it was silly to think you could ever be sexually desirable or worthy of normal human intimacy. Watching me masturbate is all you get and you’ve learned to be satisfied with it.

We hit a few more stores and get some Chinese to eat. I feed you, of course, gently placing every bite into your mouth because even that’s beyond your ability to achieve on a consistent basis and I won’t even let you try to prove otherwise. It’s either me feeding you or lowering your face onto your plate and slurping it up like an animal, which may be more personally humiliating for you, but I like rubbing in how much you rely on me as often as possible.

When we go home, you assume your usual position in front of the couch, still on your hands and knees but at least the floor here is so much cooler than the sidewalk. I toss my feet up on your back to use you as a footstool while I fuck around on the internet. I don’t pay a lot of attention to you, but every now and then I glance over at you as you struggle to remain in position, and I smile, and even without looking you can feel my smile hitting you like a cannonball as I think of ways I want to hurt you next.

Because I love you.

______________________________________________________________

"Object of affection" as a role in a relationship was inspired by the following text, posted anonymously to one of /d/'s Globalized Fetish threads eleven years ago:

About 33% of the population grows incredibly possessive, narcissistic, and devoid of empathy. For them, owning, humiliating, and abusing another human becomes a pathological need. Without a person to objectify and mistreat these people become incredibly likely to commit well-planned, large-scale violent crimes. At first, volunteers are selected, but numbers are too few. In order to preserve order, the normal 66% of the population opt to force many, many, non-consenting individuals into lives where they are maltreated, humiliated, and have no right to consent, privacy, or decision-making. In time, punishing a crying "object of affection" in a public space, forcing them to feel misery, or displaying them in a shameful way becomes common.

[eldritch-spouse]

MY BIRTHDAY IS THE 20TH UH SO UH WOULD THE ICONS CARE ABOUT THEIR SO’S BIRTHDAY? HOW WOULD THEY CELEBRATE IT?

(Or Just Livius cause he’s my bbg and I loooove him)

[Happy barfday, you aged. 🎉]

Icons during your birthday

Vesper wakes you up with birthday head. Sure, you get that plenty of times, but this one is special!! Because he's going to eat you out to the table and then, as you're having breakfast, someone else is between your legs. The whole ring knows, so you probably have a plethora of gifts that are usually some variation of degenerate or filthy and funny. Vesper does pay attention to what you say however, so he'll make sure to get you things you actually want aside from just whatever he thinks would look sexy on you. The day goes by in a hurry because you're too fucked out to think honestly.

Rinx throws the largest party ever. It's embarrassing. It's super embarrassing. But hey, you get a house-sized pile of presents. You're going to spend most of the day opening these while Rinx peels himself for your approval. Put it on! Put every cloth and jewel he gave you on! Let's face it, he probably gets a bit of everything, since usually when you want something Rinx just gets it instantly. He knows it's selfish of him to ask you this on your birthday... But can he fuck you on the pile? Please?

You like piñatas? Kalymir likes piñatas... Okay, now bash the fuck out of this prisoner's brains! That's a fun way to start. You're going to play all sorts of games, from aim to raw power, all of them resulting in some por sod's death. If you have a favorite type of weapon or sport, he's one hundred percent going to bet on that too. You're going to be eating like a real Queen too, so don't worry about breaks. You're going to celebrate every birthday with Kalymir just like you did the first one in your life- Naked, screaming, and covered in blood.

Zizz will ask if you want to spend the whole day in bed. He'll get up and go anywhere you want since it's your day, but he also had a perfect setup ready just to stay with you in his room the whole time and watch movies or play stupid games and nap together. Your presents are buried under endless piles of plushies, and he's going to enjoy watching you dig around for them, especially when you get stuck in a tower of stuffed animals and pillows and he gets to see you wiggle your ass in a struggle. Do you like video games? Zizz will get you into them today.

You've never had a real birthday cake until you become Vorticia's lover. This woman will get you such a magnificent, delicious, mouth-watering, gorgeous, unbelievable cake that you will cry for more, and probably get a stomach ache. She's content to sit with you on her lap and feed it to you, maybe even make you lick her fingers clean. But, eventually, she might just drop you on it and let you go ham. Watching like a pervert before scooping you up to lick you clean, and dropping you again. After that, it's a relatively normal day, she has plenty of cute presents for you and will take you to her son's esteemed sorbet establishment to have all the fun you want.

Livius is very good at listening to the things you want, that's why his presents are usually always the best out of all Icons, as he seems to hit the nail on the head every single time. Since he assimilates plenty of your tastes, he's likely to guess correctly what you'd most like to do for your birthday, and has no issue slipping into the surface to rip his way into the theaters or go to a water park, whatever the Hell you so please! Nothing will stop him from giving you everything you want, so that you feel so special in that one day that you'll never feel jealousy ever again in your entire life. Because you deserve that.

Cero is too fucking extra. This is the definition of being treated as a Queen. You're forbidden from moving a muscle since the moment you wake up. He's already dolled up with the best attire he has, the servants will start piling in the room to bathe and dress you like a doll, preparing you to go out into the halls and greet all sorts of people you've never even heard of as Cero apparently organized a dazzling party while you were fast asleep. You feel sorry for the imps. Since the spotlight is always on you, it will feel a little exhausting, but Cero's always there to make sure others definitely give you space, by shooing them away, or speaking for you. You're complimented and praised the entire time by everyone, including him, and you get some of the most elegant gifts ever out there. Then, of course, you're gently fucked in your get-up while the King of Pride whispers about how well-behaved you were.

[little-rivers]

Killer Modern AU Headcanon

WARNINGS:18+, smut, NSFW, oral sex, porn, masturbation, sex.

a/n: I haven't posted in a long time, I recently started looking at some old drafts and found this. Funny how many I didn't remember at all lol. Anyway I hope you enjoy!

Killer loves to watch porn with his partner

He wants to know exactly what you’re into and this is a way for you guys to explore that in a fun way

He like to go down on them while they watch it

He wants to see what kind of fantasies his partner has and finds watching porn together can make if feel safe and easy for them express their desires

He also loves the elevation it adds mentally that his partner is watching a scenario that gets them really turned on while he is servicing them either with his mouth or his cock.

He’ll ask his partner questions about what they’re watching, what aspects turn them on, “do you want me to do that to you”

He’s always smooth with his line of questioning knowing just when to slip one out, he doesn’t bombard you with them and kill the mood. His voice is an alluring addition to the activity, as he whispers his questions into your ear and skin in sultry tones.

Loves how frazzled you are about responding in the beginning, finds it so cute and sexy. He loves seeing you grow more comfortable expressing yourself to him as things progress.

Eventually because of this, when you’re apart you don’t find it pleasing anymore to just watch porn, you need his commentary, you can faintly imagine it in your head, but it just isn’t good enough. The questions you imagine just don’t strike you the way his real voice does, you want to feel the shiver in your body from his voice against your skin.

So, you call him and hope he has time to oblige you. He’ll ask you to describe what you’re watching with patient detail followed up by what you’re doing to yourself. He wants to hear your moans and complaints how he isn’t there to help you in person.  

Alternatively, if he’s at home he may tell you to send him a link and restart the video so you can watch it together from the start. He’ll ask you to tell him your thoughts about the video when you watched without him and about and at what moment you decided you needed to hear his voice to feel satisfied.

He loves that he’s become such an important part of your satisfaction watching porn and pleasuring yourself even if he’s not next to you.

If you call him and he’s able he will ask if you need him to come over and help you out, he is more than happy to do so. 

He likes feeling your hand wrapped around his cock, pumping him just right while his had services you in return. Both your eyes on the couple fucking on the screen while you get each other off.

It can also make for a fun game of who can hold off the longest. While watching, both you and him touch yourselves and see who breaks the no contact rule first. The goal is to get the other to break before anyone cums. If either of you cum on your own that also counts as losing. Winner gets bragging rights of being irresistible until the next rematch.

This can get really hot as you and Killer get more desperate to cum. Both of you trying everything you can to get the other so turned on they can resist touching you and breaking first. The tension is so high before you can even make contact. The porn tempting you showing you what you wish you were doing together.

When one of you finally goes for it and Killer gets his hands on you, man fucks the shit out of you more than once. One round isn’t enough. You guys are going at it so hard totally immersed you won’t notice when the porn stops playing, and your voices are the only ones filling the room with screams.

And hey it doesn’t hurt to be selfish once in a while. Having you suck him off while he views some X-rated content is one of the best pick-me-ups he’s ever experienced. After a bad day, stressful week or even a big fight, your mouth and a dirty video or two make it all melt away.  

if you ever want to help him out/ cheer him up pop his dick in your mouth and tell him to browse for some good content. Just please give him a moment to find a good one before you start really going at it. He loves leaning back and watching you on your knees between his legs, bobbing up and down on his cock while his choice of content plays loudly behind you.

Likes to feel you up aimlessly. May position you beside him for better access. Resting a hand on your head while you slurp and swallow his dick. His other hand lazily roaming your body as he pleases, groping your chest, tweaking your nipples, rubbing your sex, spanking, and squeezing your ass or fingering your hole(s). He’s doing it for his pleasure not yours, he’s focused on relaxing and enjoying your body while watching his porn. If it turns you on and makes you blow him with more enthusiasm that’s a win for him. He’s happy to get you off after if you need it or if things escalate to fucking but right now it’s about him.

He’s not turning on porn every time y’all are together, he can and will fuck you without it, but it’s fun. Overall, he learns so much about what you like and don’t like and exactly how to set right the mood for you.

[11queensupreme11]

Hi Sweetie ❤️ Heard you were looking for some rankings, so here am I once again... Now that Bloodflood is on hold, let me gather my thoughts. How long can this get 😮‍💨...

First, the ranking based on the anime only:

1) Toji--> I know he's not part of the yanderes but hear me out THIS HOMELESS GROWN-ASS MAN HAS BEEN HAUNTING MY DREAMS, MY DAYS AND MY NIGHTS FOR ALMOST A YEAR, THIS IS NOT FUNNY ANYMOOOOOORE 😰.

2) Suguru--> Me trying my best not to cry seeing my all time favs not being included 🥲. Joke aside, really liked the fact he wanted to "mercy kill" Mizu cause he knew what it was like to be Satoru's prey. Really heartbreaking, my poor babies.

3) Choso--> Well... my type is hard working, muddy guy 😅. Finally we enter the yandere grounds 🥳. Fun Fact: Absolute first jjk man who stole my heart, seeing only 2min of him in season one.

4) Sukuna--> Me looking at my RoR Ranking with Shiva on top 👀💧. What can I say... Four-Armed Men=Best kind of Men, certified Monster-Lover here.

5) Yuuta--> My sweet cutie babyyyy 😭😭 made me scream when we saw him at the end of season 2 with his big ass weirdo eyes...

6) Satoru--> Well... I understand. He's like, bred to be perfect, but I never was any Gojosexual to be honest (all my homies love Toji-).

7) Megumi/Yuuji--> I love them as characters, really, but the ranking is mostly based on the HoRnY... they're adorable, but... not in a sexy kinda way?

8) Kashimo--> To be honest, like every character introduced during the Culling Games (the only exception being Gigami Chadguruma) , this one absolutely never impacted me in any kind of way. I'm utterly neutral about him. Nice buns tho.

That being said... oh boy, time for the Tsunami ranking!

(1) Megumi/Yuuji--> Look at my bois, how sweet they are😭. They climb at the top because I just reaally loved their interactions with Hime. They have yet to disappoint me, and I just feel they would treat her the "best" out of all the suitors. I could be wrong tho. Also the way you write Megumi😳, it made me realise the potential of HoRnY- Was wishing he would fu** her in front of Yuuta's camera-

(2) Sukuna--> I stayed up all night just to read your Shisui flashback. It may be my favorite segment of your story, how talented can you be? Ryomen Sukuna... he is the one who has the most reason to be obsessed with Mizuhime, he helps her with exorcism when Gojo puts her down, he has four arms 🤤... He could have been my favorite but to be honest, I feel like his ending would be the absolute worst for Mizuhime (being the King of Curses, the final antagonist etc...). And I just love her so very much, she needs at least one good ending 😭

(3) Choso--> Ok hear me out- I know I may be biased, we hadn't really seen him yet, but it seems he would be kinda like Yuuji. I think he could treat her well. And he's just so clueless, how cute🥺. I makes me wonder: would he be aware of Yuuji's love for Mizuhime? If so, would he try to be a good "big bro" and support his little brother, or would he be selfish and try to keep her for himself? (I think I already know the answer-)

(4) Satoru--> Like someone famous said: "Certified LoverBoy, Certified Ped******"! Maaaan, no wonder Hime wants him to stay in his box, he's so nasty🤣. Gross, disgusting, pathetic, obsessed, overpowered, terrifying... He's the worst, but he's so funny to read at the same time. Let's not even talk about his Heian counterpart... As I said, I never was a big fan of this character, but with all the Jjk fic I read, I can say your portrayal of Gojo is my favorite in all the FanficVerse. It may be the same with other characters, but especially for him. How dreadful, to be the object of obsession of the Strongest in the World... He is still at the bottom tho, we don't need this creep around Hime ever again.

(5) Kashimo--> I have no expectation with this one, as I've said earlier. The electricity power seems interesting, but honestly write him however you want. Seeing your blog he seems like a little shit too.

(6) YuUtA🤬--> Well... if you paid attention in the Pjo/RoR ranking, you already know where this is going. Don't you wonder, what's the point of the dual rankings anyway? I use this to compare how high can a character climb (Megumi/Yuuji, Loki) and how low can he fall. And man, HOW LOW DID YUUTA FALL. It breaks my heart because during the first part I was the biggest YuutaHime apologist. He has seen her fucked up family, he bought her books, plushies, he was sweeeet 😭... If he was a yandere "on his own", maybe I could have let it slide, but how can you go from "Damn Hime your relatives are a bunch of creepy weirdos" to "No u can't unfiance me uwu cause I'm ✨️Daddy's Special Boy in Law✨️" Do you know what happens when you do shit like that? I'm gonna tell you, you earn the [Whiny Little Bitch] stamp. Actually, maybe it was my fault. Shouldn't have put all my faith on the Panty Stealer to begin with. I may be harsher with him because, unlike Gojo or Sukuna, this kind of yandere is not cartoonish evil. The way he acts (manipulation, baby-trapping, forced union enabled by the relatives), it seems... way more realistic. It's not funny or entertaining, it's just... sad. I don't want my best girl to end up like the 2nd Sanyu. Not to say the way you wrote him is bad, it was the best to show us how much of a LOSER he is. My last words about him: I hope he dies in a meaningless way.

Well well well, that's quiet the long rant. I would like to have your thoughts about it. I know you're currently focused on Arsenic Blues (great last chapter btw, Nubby for life) but I really wanted to share with you my review about Tsunami. Really, your fics are the best stories I've read in a veryyy long time and it's the first time I ever interact with an author, so it means a lot to me. Hope you have a great day, week, month. U dropped this 👑

PS: Pls help me I'm gonna cry in non-english what's the difference between "tho", "though" and "thought"-

omg im so sorry, so "tho" is basically just a shorter way for me to type out "though" and it is not a real word, i'm just lazy LMAO i'm sorry!!!!

"though" is just another way of saying "despite the fact" and "however" -> "even though my mom was angry at me, we still went out to get ice cream!"

and "thought" has two meanings:

noun: an idea/opinion in your head -> "I had just had a thought!"

verb: the action of thinking -> "I thought my answer was wrong!"

NOW ONTO YOUR LIST

i was so shocked that gojo was ranked so high LMAO. I THOUGHT HIS NAME WOULD BE DEAD LAST!

though I can kinda get it since kashimo hasn't been introduced and he's kinda been... eh in the manga (sorry bro), BUT OMG YUTA IS LAST??? I wasn't expecting that. I thought he'd be second last with gojo as last 😂😂

but your explanation makes sense. yuta started out sooo cute (creepy though), and at first he was helping her with her dad....... only to become just like him.

and also "No u can't unfiance me uwu cause I'm ✨️Daddy's Special Boy in Law✨️" 😭😭😭😭😭

honestly, he might as well be calling susanoo "daddy" at this point with how much ass kissing he's been doing 😂😂😂

[kissingagrumpygiant]

hiii i just loooove hera i wanna know more about her!!! consider this to be free space to say whatever’s on your mind about her because i just wanna know everythingggg

Oh man. I'm just going to throw everything I have at the top of my head at the wall hold on

- her full name is Hera'athen. Born in Ostwick's alienage and smuggled out of it when her magic started manifesting at around 6-7

- got Mythal's vallaslin to honor the mother figures in her life (her mother who passed away, her step-mother when her father remarried, and Deshanna)

- left the clan at 18 to become a Wandering Keeper (real cute lore hc post from a few years ago i will never let go of), and has been traveling the Free Marches + Ferelden since.

- Everyone in the Inquisition can't help but have a crush on her despite her being the most annoying lawyer-like, argumenative person there is. Maybe that's part of it

- her besties were Blackwall and Varric. What does that say about her. Me and the liarssss

- part of the reason she really fell for Solas at the start was the discourse of it all, and Hera loved that she could argue with him and see that it wasn't arguing for arguments sake, but for seeking understanding. She loved the back and forth teasing too

- her one big internal conflict about her decisions in dai is making Briala a shadow ruler. She made that decision without consulting anyone in her circle, it was pure emotions based, and even though she stands by it, she can't help but know she was being selfish. It wasn't the best alliance she could make for the Inquisition but it was for the elves of Orlais and everyone knows and will judge her for it

- didn't let Solas remove her vallaslin at Crestwood! She believed him, and she doesn't care for honoring the gods (she has a weird relationship with religion), but she couldn't bear losing the Dalish part of herself (in her mind). She already lost so much of her identity to the Inquisition, and this was part of her and her story, as much as every mistake and victory is

- she can play strings and has a decent singing voice. Makes killer soups and delicious breads. Can't stand chocolates

- had a dream when she was younger of becoming a published writer, but relegated her writing to notebooks she leaves with clans of tales and ruins and histories she comes across. Varric tries getting her to pick it up again but she feels it's kinda pointless

- what else. She has some frilly Orlesian "[holding a candle while walking the dark halls] who goes there" type nightgowns she hates to admit she adores because we can't let Orlais have this one win. But they're comfy and she looks extremely sexy in them

- if she was a spirit, she'd definitely be a spirit of Knowledge

- became even more of a weirdo freak after dai. She's tired and she has no filter. She thought she was retiring but they keep bringing her back and her ex stalks her dreams with his sad little big eyes and keeps leaving her clues everywhere and they've def had cryptic dream talks between them and she has no one to talk to about this because everytime she brings him up everyone goes ohhhh brotherrrrr this guy STINKS. but he's HER stinky guy.

- "Everyone thinks it's soooo funny of me to think I can save him. Well I'm about to be hilarious"

[bengiyo]

Moonlight Chicken Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

So stoked about the final episodes of this incredible ride.

Last time, all of the adults got closure on their relationships, but only Jim felt good about it. However, Jim couldn't enjoy the moment before things immediately took a turn for the worse for him.

At Wen's encouragement, Jim finally went to see the woman Beam was dating. He realized that he was second, but the woman held no resentment towards him. She just thinks they loved a selfish person, and she's moved on with her life. Khaotung destroyed us with Gaipa's reaction to being formally rejected by Jim. First continues to be one of the best as he played out Alan's hatred for Jim. Li Ming and Heart had their first kiss and continue to be adorable. However, Jim was not enthused by their relationship, and Alan clearly tried to harm himself.

I wonder if the hand cast is from when First broke his finger during filming because he grabbed Earth too hard.

Again, the wealth gap appears. Alan has health insurance.

Wen is not happy about this new arrangement at all.

Chapter 7: My Heart Represents the Moon.

Alan going to stay with relatives, and not forcing Wen to take care of him, shows that he's maybe learning to not see them as a couple.

Oh, this beach date is cute. I'm going to have to go look up Somtum later to see what the regional distinctions are. I know in the US the fact that Midwesterners out sugar in grits is awful.

There are multiple layers of metaphor going on with eating this chicken. I'm caught up on Jim saying plain chicken is too bland and asking Wen to add some sauce. Isn't that what Wen has added to his life? And Wen says Jim isn't romantic.

Gosh, I love Gaipa and Mrs. Hong. He's clearly heartbroken, but she doesn't resent Jim for not loving her son back. She insists that their bonds as neighbors and friends are stronger than that, and is still willing to help him with the loan. She even still offers food to Jim.

Khaotung is incredible.

Au! What are you still doing here?? Oh, you're here to warn us about Jim's reaction to Heart and Li Ming dating.

Lookwa! I hope she plays Fourth's mom every time. That would be such a funny bit of casting trivia a decade from now.

Li Ming does not seem happy to see his mom at all.

Oh man, what has Li Ming witnessed of his mom's romantic history. He seems way too jaded about this conversation about a new man. Li Ming is being ground to dust by others' expectations of him.

And then Jim enters the scene. I really wish Jim would speak directly to Li Ming and stop trying to entrap him. I also get his concern about Li Ming facing the hardships of queerness, but wish he hadn't framed it through such a controlling lens. Also wish he hadn't loud capped his nephew, but don't think he realized his sister was here.

I'm glad they're having this conversation away from Li Ming because he would be furious. I don't want Li Ming going to live with someone who resents his queerness, and with a stranger he's already decided to dislike. Also don't like Jim getting financial help from one of Jam's tenuous romances.

I really like how Saleng has filled this role of older brother or cousin to Li Ming. He seems like kind of a fuckup, but Li Ming seems like he can talk to him. Frowning at him offering cigarettes to a kid though.

Wen sees Jim at the condo and immediately knows it's about Li Ming. I'm so relieved that Jim is finally talking about Li Ming with Wen. Wen can ask Jim directly about his anxieties and cut through the BS. Jim is gay, and as Li Ming's guardian, he needs to support his nephew.

There's the line about waiting for conservative dinosaurs to die again. We just had it in My School President.

Thank you, Wen! The kids have a right to tell us when they're ready. It's our job to love them. It's not our place to out the kids, especially to themselves.

As much as I like Jim responding to Wen's hinting that he won't chase him forever, j absolutely do not want them doing anything sexy in Alan's apartment.

"I don't want to be a good guy. I want to be a guy who has a lover." I love Gaipa so much.

Hate that we went from a long take of seeing Mark and Khaotung play off each other immediately into tragedy.

I am not immune to Khaotung's acting. I am crying and grieving for Gaipa.

49 is too young.

Not the version of First and Khaotung chemistry I wanted to see, but a funeral is a great way to reveal how interwoven our communities are.

When I tell you I cried again because Heart's parents have been learning sign language. It's not about villains, y'all. It's about trying to love each other the way we want to be loved.

See, and the flashback to Beam's funeral is so important. We've had BL shouting for marriage equality for over a year now, and here are some of the critical reasons why it's important. Part of why Jim is so destitute now is Beam's parents basically robbed him, and he had no protection to stop that. If you think Heart and Li Ming are cute and want to adopt them, then fight for their future. Help the older queers instead of judging them. We're all in this together, and we can't just let our elders suffer.

They really got Wen hustling for work at the funeral.

I like Jim going to see Alan. Alan also needs to appreciate some aspects of getting older as a queer person. He needs to reckon with the reality that Wen wasn't stolen, and that Wen didn't jump into a relationship with Jim, because Jim is also not ready. I also think Jim needed to make things clear with Alan before he could move forward because of what Jim went through with Beam.

And he's clearing things with Wen. Mike Frazier would love Jim.

Oh wow. Li Ming hasn't really seen his mom in almost 6 years. I get his reluctance.

This is the first conversation we've seen from these two not charged with their competing wills. I also had my first beer with one of my uncles. It's a rite of passage. You can feel the easy rapport returning now that they're not trying to fight.

Fourth is talented. It's honestly this simple with young people. Li Ming asked to be given chance to choose for himself, and immediately things have improved by showing him just a modicum of regard.

Funeral singing is always so heartbreaking.

Life is just not simple. Despite the rejection, Jim will care for Gaipa. Despite the breakup, Wen will help Alan. We are a community. We don't just abandon each other, even if our relationships change.

Finale tomorrow. Full faith that they stick the landing.

[mizzmellos]

M2 sex hc because this blog has turned into a horny dumpster fire:

+ Mello definitely has strategically-placed mirrors all around their bedroom bc he's narcissitic and nasty. Maybe less so post-explosion but still at least one on his good side. He definitely spends the first half just putting on a show/making sure his back is perfectly arched etc but by the time Matt's beet red moaning and drooling on his neck he actually gets into it/is paying more attention to how cute and desperate Matt looks than his own reflection. 😇 (it still circles back around to narcissism though because he's into how into him Matt is <- does this make sense?)

+ So we all know this already since he came in second place on the head poll (even Mello himself would happily concede to L on that) but Mello can definitely make the dick disappear balls and all like he prides himself on having no gag reflex. As @/overkeehl said he can deliver both sloppy and serious style depending on his mood. (<- not tagging in this because I'm ashamed and need to be put down like a sick dog) He kind of likes sucking dick because he knows he's good at it but at the same time he's selfish and gets tired of it pretty quick. <- it's reserved for special occasions and rewards for when Matt's been good 🤧 btw do NOT cum in his hair or on his face (again except for special occasions) because you will MESS UP HIS MAKEUP 🗣 but he's only a 50/50 swallower because half the time he likes to spit it on Matt 🤐 I read a fic with a throwaway line about how when Mello's really horny he tells Matt to finish on him in the nastiest way imaginable like a creative challenge with increasing stakes. <- not even sure what this would imply but it stuck w me.

+ Also as we've been discussing Mello likes weird/nasty positions and places and while Matt doesn't really want to be perceived, he's down so bad he does it for him. He esp likes it from behind so Matt can pull on his hair/scratch his back/smack his ass (<- some of the few 'aggressive' things Mello can actually get him to do. Mello thinks these are just vanilla average sex things). Matt likes cowgirl (obviously) but it's cause he wants to see Mello's face 🥺 <- Mello won't let Matt fuck him missionary cuz he's like "stop kissing me so much jfc I can't breathe 😑" (it's not like they've never done it romantic style but it's definitely infrequent). Mello likes making out but only as foreplay like when it's on it's on, Matt can spit in his mouth and bite his earlobes but that's about it.

+ Matt is a little pornbrained in that he has huge "secret" stashes (both physical and digital) of all kinds of cringe porn <- again as I've said the stuff Mello is into makes this look average by comparison but. He definitely wants Mello to dress up in a maid outfit with cat ears and shit. But I don't think there's a universe in which this would happen. Okay maybe the post-kira au where Matt got shot soooo many times Mello feels so bad he dresses up like a sexy nurse ONCE. But certainly not a maid. (<- he has a real needle and scalpel though and then Matt's way less into it. Actually that's not true he's way more scared but still equally into it.)

+ this one is just because I'm a lesbian who thinks the concept of a penile fracture is so so so funny but Mello definitely broke Matt's dick once 😭

[knightotoc]

Best Witches

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (rural, realistic, last-minute gender confusion)

Häxan (1922) (weird, intricate, humanist)

His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman (badass, bisexual, political)

Suspiria (1977) (scary, fucked-up, retro)

Madoka Part III: Rebellion (2013) (unfair, intense, lesbian)

Best Angels:

"Sail On! Sail On!" by Philip José Farmer (so fucking clever)

A Matter of Life and Death (1946) (awesome, low-key feminist, fruity)

His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman (mysterious, bizarre, gay)

"A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings" by Gabriel García Márquez (odd, pitiful, mysterious)

"Hell is the Absence of God" by Ted Chiang (destructive, terrible, desired)

Best Demons:

Evil Dead 2 (1987) (existential terror + comedy)

Slumber Party Massacre II (also 1987) (similar)

"The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe (unfathomably cruel)

The Wolf House (2018) (sinister, subtle, real)

The Wailing (2016) (scary, cool, funny)

Best Robots:

Robot series by Isaac Asimov (good, logical, gay)

Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-94) (similar)

Mockingbird by Walter Tevis (depressed, intelligent, bitter but caring)

Blade Runner (1982) (sad, weird, cool)

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) (tragic, lovable, fucked-up)

Best Vampires:

Interview with the Vampire (2022-) (sexy, scary, tragic)

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (funny, sympathetic, occasionally caffeine-addicted)

Dracula (1931) (spooky, iconic, swag)

Best Fairies:

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke (scary, mysterious, greedy)

"The Elves" by Ludwig Tieck (selfish, environmental, lesbian)

Best Ghosts:

Lake Mungo (2008) (desperately sad)

The Innocents (1961) (creepy, ambiguous, clever)

Pulse (2001) (tragic, mysterious, intriguing)

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947) (adorable, romantic, fun)

Opening Night (1977) (unusual, unsettling, mirrored)

Best Giants:

Shadow of the Colossus (2005) (epic, sad, environmental)

The Food of the Gods by H.G. Wells (cool, sympathetic, socialist)

Fantastic Planet (1973) (weird, vivid, retro)

Best Aliens:

Alien (1979) (scary, weird, fucked-up)

The Man who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis (longing, sympathetic, smart)

Remembrance of Earth's Past series by Liu Cixin (terrifying, cold, pessimistic)

The Gods Themselves by Isaac Asimov (fun with gender and physics)

"Mother" by Philip José Farmer (greedy, intense, Freudian)

Best Monster Boyfriends:

La Belle et la Bête (1946) (pathetic, scary, romantic)

The Shape of Water (2017) (intricate, sympathetic, subversive)

Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett (funny, unusual, adorable)

Best Werewolves:

Ginger Snaps (2000) (sad, loving, funny)

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (funny, unexpected, cute)

[silvernyxchariot]

It’s still February, the “lovey-dovey” month, as I see it. So, here’s a somewhat comprehensive blog of “Would I Date That JoJo Villain?” Main villains only. Non-yandere harem.

⚠️DNI: bigots, anti-LGBT+'s, trolls, MAPs, proshippers (incest & pedos), anti self & OC shippers, and everyone else synonymous to the mentioned. You will be blocked.⚠️

Dio Brando: Maybe, but it'll lead to an inevitable breakup.

See the first sentence of DIO down below. Anyway, this is the Dio I would be willing to date depending on how we met back in the late 1800′s. He’s still a conniving selfish megalomaniac, but not as bad as Stardust Crusaders DIO and I’m a sucker for Victorian Gothic fashion. This is also the only form of Dio that I have any sympathy for, like “Hon-neyyyy! You were set. You would have been golden. You didn’t NEED more. You could have easily made yourself a fortune. Live the rich man’s life you wanted.” He was adopted by an old rich man, accepted by his adoptive brother, and graduated as a top law student, even still he was influenced by his sperm donor’s last words to gain all the power. All the wealth. So yeah, I would give this Dio a chance.

Kars: YES.

If you’ve been here long enough, you know he’s my favorite in the yandere JJBA villain harem. But even outside of the yandere harem, my answer is still yes.

DIO: NO.

I have a mate that self ships himself with Dio/DIO and I ain’t a traitor like that. 😤 Also, see my explanation for Dio Brando above. Which is ironic since I self-ship with One Piece’s Doflamingo. . . But we ain’t talking about him. 😗🧋. . . At best, Vanilla Ice and I are the adopted children that get fed and dragged along while DIO and my mate are on a date. We’re also carrying all the bags and coats so they can take cute couple photos together. And also, Araki had all the opportunity to bring back a sexy, mysterious, Victorian Gothic vampire. But naaaah. He made DIO a Neon Banana. It doesn't help because my least favorite colors are bright yellows.

Yoshikage Kira: No.

Not my type, I guess? Don’t get me wrong. Diamond is Unbreakable was such a refreshing, fun, and unexpected part. It was a major switch up from the world-threatening and inhuman beings of parts 1-3. But I wasn’t attracted to Yoshikage all that much. I think I need the extra ego and bloodthirst for my villains. 😂

Diavolo/Doppio: Maybe, but it'll be a No in the end.

Hey~ Two for one deal. 😎 But jokes aside, You Killed My Husbands! Seven of them indirectly! This is essentially a yandere situation without it being a yandere AU because I think Diavolo would be a good partner. . . If you know... submit to being hidden from the world, living alone in an Italian villa where no one can find you, and you have to move every few weeks, months, years, or maybe even days. You have NO Connections to the outside world. No internet for you. Doppio seems like a loyal and sweet partner, but he'd be the only good part of this relationship. They definitely have the money to spoil you too.

Enrico Pucci: No?

I honestly think he’d be a decent boyfriend. (Thank you to all of you headcanon creators that are still putting out content or are still JoJo fans. You make my day a little less bleak.) It’s the whole devotion to DIO that's a turn-off. Also, please don’t talk about converting me to Christianity or Catholicism at the dinner table. Or how about I introduce you to the entire Greek pantheon? No? Ok, how about the Tagalog pantheon?

Funny Valentine: No.

I have no right to be talking about the part 7 villain because I’m only ten chapters into Steel Ball Run. . . But from what I’ve learned through the fandom and the JoJo wiki, he’s not a pleasant man. . . So, no. Also, how's that infatuation with another Married person, who is also 15 Year Old Adolescent Girl hmmm?/RH 👀🔪🔪

⭐️ My work is for entertainment and personal purposes. Do not take, translate, repost, or use it for profit. Hearts and reblogs are appreciated though.