#in a world of selfish immature jerks

[parlerenfleurs]

Ah, to be clear this is about people's general response to the cooking poll and not about the grilling art. I've never tried but I guess grilling is its own separate skill, I wouldn't know, and in any case this brings joy and is funny (he would react like that to finding out he lacks a skill he deems important xD). I'm just unhappy to know so many people don't know about one of Lan WangJi's loveable qualities/impressive skills and are running away with weird headcanons.

*gnashing my teeth, clenching my fists* I will.. spread love... Not hate... So I guess my only recourse is to singlehandedly flood the tag with "Lan WangJi can cook as well as Wei WuXian's favourite restaurant and it's canon" art.

[thechekhov]

As an autistic person (who is, to be honest also pretty immature) I also really related to Izutsumi. I understand that my pickiness is unreasonable but that wouldn't stop me from rather not eat that try something I don't like or not know, or that looks bad.

I think maybe we misunderstood each other a bit here.

I don't think the issue is Izutsumi not eating things.

If she simply said "I'm not eating that, I'm going to out and hunt for my own food" that would be completely understandable. Hell, even Marcille refuses to eat some of the things Senshi cooks. Not Eating Monsters is a very relatable part of this story. Most people who the party meets refuse to do that. Senshi and the guys - THEY'RE the weird ones.

In fact, in this panel, Laios is being a jerk on purpose and I'm surprised he got away with only scratches.

I joked about her eating the weird little man, but honestly? If she doesn't want to, why pester her? He was just being Laios.

And in the flashback, Izutsumi dealt with things pretty normally - just give what you don't want to eat to Tade.

No dramatics necessary! Everyone wins. She's a cat, she doesn't need leeks anyway.

But the point at which she kinda crosses a line is specifically this:

She yells at Laios about her limits - fine. A bit unnecessary, given that he's just trying to explain their situation, but whatever.

But she then puts the party in danger by going for the Barometz AND then walks away after initiating a battle, because it doesn't suit her.

The difference between what happened with the Ice Golem and now is consideration. Thinking about how your actions impact the safety of others. While Chilchuck and Izutsumi worked together to fell the golem, the others (Marcille and Senshi and Laios) didn't just wander off to look for NEW problems. They stayed nearby, presumably ready to jump in.

They also didn't split the party, forcing Marcille to give chase in order to assure Izutsumi didn't die. (Marcille is also kinda in the wrong here for leaving others, because she also endangered them, but she did it out of concern for Izutsumi.) (Also, Izutsumi would have died if Marcille hadn't followed her, so it's a fair concern.)

The issue isn't that Izutsumi cares about her own needs. That's a healthy thing that everyone should do!

The issue is that Izutsumi doesn't care about the needs of others, to the point of endangering them for very little reward to herself.

She makes no effort to....make an effort? She yells at the party when things don't go her way and demands they make unreasonable adjustments for her. It's not about when she threw away the mushrooms - like, that was funny and partially expected after Senshi got used to the others eating whatever. Though it IS wasteful....

When I say Izutsumi comes across as spoiled to me - that's NOT because of having personal preferences. She can eat whatever she wants, forever. That's a human right.

But I do think she's selfish for demanding that the world and other characters bend (unreasonably) to her will (because they're in a DUNGEON with limited resources) and make it easier for HER specifically, even though attempting to do so endangers them.

But also, as many of you have pointed out: She's not even an adult, she's 17. I assumed she was like, mid-20s, so her behavior makes a lot more sense now.

[seriousbrat]

Never said she hated James or that she was a gold digger. I do believe she loved him. But I also believe that part of the reason she was attracted to him and to the prospect of marrying James was the fact he was a rich pureblood and through him she could gain a more stable identity/community in a world where she probably felt like she didn't belong. This attraction and class appeal of James also probably made her downplay or ignore his faults and his previous actions towards Snape and others - that's why I called her pretty shallow and a social climber. She saw Snape being miserable for years, yet she still married James and why? Because he didn't use dark magic, appealed to her ego and a desire for safety and stability. She justified her attraction with her black and white morals, selfish interest and grew to like James more - despite him being an entitled arrogant asshole who she saw tormenting her ex friend for years. That tells me a lot about her. There simply must have been a reason why she married such a jerk with a bullying history. And I'm not calling James evil btw. And no not all 20 year olds have babies during a war. She jumped straight to a relationship, got married after a year - reckless, and had a baby year later - immature. And no you cannot be a kind saint while surrounding yourself with shitty people. I believe all the characters in this era were shitty, some more, some less. Most of them had good intentions for sure, Lily included, but she was not like the way you talk about her. Because she was close to pretty nasty people. James was a dick, Sirius was a less evil Bellatrix, Remus was an enabler and I don't even like talking about Peter. Snape had such a shit life that it's impossible to not be shitty in his situation, Petunia was a complete jerk and you actually think that Lily - the person that was moving in circles with these people - was a kind, feminist, role model? That's why I do not like this potrayal. Not only it doesn't make sense with the knowledge we have about her but it is also kind of sexist to reduce her to a kindred spirit who can do no wrong and has the best of intentions. Btw I'm not saying you are completely wrong, after all we do not know her canon personality, I'm just arguing with how I see her and why. I prefer this more negative perception because it makes her more human in my mind. I also do read and enjoy your fic, because even if I do not agree with the way you see these characters, I can enjoy different versions of them from time to time.

Okay, I debated whether to respond to this, honestly-- the thing is you're just not going to convince me that this is a fair and good-faith assessment of Lily's character and not generally quite callous and unforgiving.

You didn't literally use the term 'gold digger,' but you assumed (and have now doubled down on that assumption) that there could be no other primary reason other than money and status for why she was attracted to James and married him. Sorry girl but that is calling her a gold digger even if you didn't use the actual term.

This attraction and class appeal of James also probably made her downplay or ignore his faults and his previous actions towards Snape and others

"probably" based on what lmao. Look sorry but I just think it's so obvious that this is rooted in your own beliefs about women, subconscious though they may be. Even if we say for argument's sake that James never improved his behaviour and had no redeeming qualities that might make him attractive to a woman, women marry dickheads all the time lmao. And not all or even most of those dickheads are wealthy. Like this is such a ridiculous and ungenerous assumption, on many levels.

Snape had such a shit life that it's impossible to not be shitty in his situation

I already posted this bit (because it's very funny) but I'll say it clearly: LMAO. This is absolutely so indicative of your biases and I don't think you can even see it. Wah wah wah, what a poor misunderstood baby 🥺🥺🥺Yeah Snape was so tragic and tortured that he just couldn't help joining a fascist organisation bent on the destruction of people like Lily. But Lily can only have married a man who was a bully in school because she was shallow and opportunistic. Give me a break lmfao

Petunia was a complete jerk and you actually think that Lily - the person that was moving in circles with these people - was a kind, feminist, role model?

If Lily is at fault for the actions of everyone around her, what on earth is Snape for 'moving in circles' with murderers and sadists and racists and fascists etc etc? Oh, I forgot, Snape can't help it bc everyone was so mean to him 🥺 so it makes him just a 'less evil Bellatrix' not in control of his own shittiness, whereas Lily is for some reason even at fault for the actions of her SISTER even though people can't choose who they're related to. hahahaa. Can't you see how this is wildly unfair???

I've never said Lily was a 'saint' or a 'feminist role model.' Lmao. If you can't see how a woman can be generally a kind and good person without being some sort of unrealistic flawless saint, that's honestly your own issue. If you prefer a 'negative' portrayal of a woman because that makes her more 'human' (read: realistic) to you, idk what to tell you. People just thinking a woman is a good person isn't an inferior read on a character than yours haha, (nor is it 'kind of sexist' LOL but nice try) like have you never met a kind woman irl? Sorry about that, but it's not my problem.

Look, I'm glad you've read my fic, thank you, and that you're at least open to other interpretations of Lily. However I honestly think that yours needs some serious self-reflection. Ordinarily I'd say that you know, it might not be my business nor is it productive to get on people's cases for simply disagreeing with my interpretations of a character, but you did bring this ridiculous and misogynistic take into my inbox. Like feel free to continue unfairly hating Lily on your own blog basically lol.

[beforecreation]

Is there a reason Beerus is such a jerk?

Canonly? No. He's just willfully lazy and self centered. While he can be polite and mannerly, it's usually for a reason (wanting something from someone, in a good mood bc something happened that he liked, etc). His past isn't so much as hinted at, beyond that he was a mortal many, MANY years ago.

While I've not really tackled his past at all, I'd brainstormed some ideas, one being it's because he had to struggle his whole life to get by, and craved the idea of strength not only to survive, but also lived on a world where the weak were cast aside and left to die.

So struggle after struggle made him stronger, but it also made him more cynical, selfish, and untrusting of basically anyone else. But perhaps that there were few he cared for, and believed being a destroyer would help shape the universe in a way that benefitted those select few from suffering unnecessarily.

So he craved power for a few reasons, mainly that he thought it would be what he needed. And for a while, he did do his job properly. But that pittered out and instead he became immature, lazy, largely apathetic and gluttonous as he now known.

It's just one idea, so take anything I say now with a grain of salt. Idk how I'd tackle it, other than he used to be a better person (though not a good person) than he is now.

(though I may do something with younger, mortal Beerus for a starter in the future, it's gonna be something I have no plans on doing atm until I get a solid grasp what I want)

[eggysimblr]

Okay, I'm sorry people are bugging you on my behalf but, if you are 35 yr old acting this way, you have it coming. I was being as patient and sympathetic as I was because I thought you were a misguided 13 yr old. You are so caught up in this "social injustice" fantasy and victim complex you can't realize that, all you had to do was scroll past a post you didn't like. Telling someone to "fuck off" is not a knee jerk reaction. You made a conscious decision to be mean to a stranger, and now you're facing consequences for it. There are people in poverty and wartorn countries and you think you're oppressed for being single which is so incredibly selfish.

If you could pull your head out of your rear for two minutes, and see that Valentine's Day can be about self love, platonic love between friends, and little kids giving each other candy and pieces of paper with scribbles on it, then maybe you wouldn't be so disillusioned about the world. Your problems are self made and you're the only one who can fix your rancid ideology. Seeing Fear and Hunger memes and getting your panties in a twist and doubling down on "Singles Awareness Day" instead of just admitting that you overreacted, apologizing, and backing off tells me you're immature.

Are you fucking serious right now? HOW DARE YOU LECTURE ME? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU CALL ME SELFISH? Valentines Day Critique is a real thing, at least in my country. So is Singles Awarness day, YOU encroached on. It's not something I came up with, But I very much identify with the cause. I also contribute to other causes as well. I just try to help in whatever way I can. You have no right to call me selfish, you don't know jack shit about me!

Also, it doesn't matter what you make Valentines day to be in your head canon or whatever. In mainstream culture it has always been cathering to romantic couples, while discriminating single, lonely people. It has always been that way, is, and will be, and no matter what you do, you can't change it. I'm in the spectrum of autism. I have no friends. And this day was always a bitter torture for me, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

It's not about me, it never was. I'm only the voice of those to whom Valentines is an extra horrible day in a generally miserable life. I'm the voice of all the excluded, all the pariahs, misfits, rejects and those marginalized in the society. You have no fucking idea how insulting it is to see valentines day content on Singles Awareness Day. This is why I reacted like that. But I already told you that. I don't expect you to understand how I felt, or see the things the way I see it.

You don't know how it is to have absolutely nobody close. You don't know how it is to be completely alone in this cold abyss of a universe. You don't know how depressing and terrifying is the fact that you get acustomed to your solitude, and even start liking it, because you don't know any better. You don't know how hard it is to try and socialize, while being paralized by the fear of dejection. You'll never know how it is to fear people. You don't know how hard it is, and I hope you'll never know. For such fate is to terrible to wish upon even the most hated enemy (And just to be clear, I don't see you as such).

I'm just a sad, broken shadow of a man, so leave me be, and let me wallow in my misery. I don't need your nagging and lecturing to feel bad about my self. My low self esteem and day to day self loathing already makes me feel like shit. So please, be so kind to go to hell, and take your stupid valentine cards, and your anonymous thugs with you.

[creaturebehavior]

i don’t understand why i behave the way i do

or why i’ve ever behaved the way i have

please god help me. how do i move on from anything?

i can’t handle another decade of me beating myself up for everything

it’s not productive, how do i stop hurting everyone?

why am i so angry? why am i so selfish? why am i so immature? why do i navigate everything based off delusion?

everyone i’ve ever cared about. i’ve never treated anybody well.

it’s baffling. it’s baffling. even when i used to really really try to be nice i remember it always making everybody angry cuz i still wasn’t doing it right and i wish i hadn’t let that stop me from wanting to try to be nice

i’m trapped by myself i keep trapping myself and holding myself back

i was brushing my teeth today thinking to myself how i’ve spent every year of my life since i was 15 regretting how much time i’ve wasted the year before but i continue to waste more and more time because i’m so afraid to live. i don’t know what’s my problem that everything feels so intense to me. the world feels like sandpaper and i’m waking around sunburned. as far back as i remember i’ve been scared. so scared so so so scared and i don’t know how to reparent myself

why do i still look at the world through the eyes of a child. my dad discouraged me from trying anything when i was growing up. he would convince me not to try anything if i expressed any bit of curiosity about the world he would warn me about everything that could go wrong. Conversely, my mom didn’t give a shit about anything. She downplayed everything, and was surprisingly neglectful. So i developed a very nervous temperament. I knew my mom wouldn’t look out for me when i was with her, and my dad wouldn’t let me do very much when i was with him, so i learned to err on the side of caution and avoid everything. i would even avoid trying fun things because my dad always had warnings about how dangerous or unpleasant everything was.

I’m twenty fucking seven and i still navigate the world like i’m a small kid. i can’t figure out how to untangle from the fear that’s been so deeply instilled in me.

when i was little my biggest fear was turning into my father. A selfish asshole who expects everyone to fawn over him and his every emotion and problem. A grown adult who’s too scared to leave his bedroom. A grown adult who’s too scared to leave the house. A judgmental and angry jerk. An insensitive, self absorbed, joke of a human being. Someone who takes his trauma out on everyone. Someone who expects everyone to drop everything take care of them.

I’m just like him. How do i change?

[mama-qwerty]

I implore those who think "17 isn't too far from 18 so what's the big deal?" to read the reblogs. Read the comments from those who think YTA. This isn't a matter of maturity. It's a matter of LEGAL LIABILITY.

I'm a mod of an 18+ server. We have no NSFW material in it. NONE. It's not allowed, at all. So why are we 18+? Because we wanted a space where we adults could talk about our fandom without the worry of having minors involved, in what is essentially a private space. While there is very little likelihood of anything being inappropriate in any of our channels, any time you have minors and adults mingling, there is the possibility of accusations or assumptions regarding the interactions. All it takes is one minor getting pissed at one adult and starting rumors. The internet is so, so fond of tossing around words like "grooming" and "pedophile" and the like, that even the most baseless accusations are believed and can ruin lives.

"But it's just the internet, who cares?"

It's NOT just the internet. That's what people don't seem to understand. There are REAL PEOPLE behind these screens, interacting with other REAL PEOPLE on the other end. And the people who set up the 18+ server have set boundaries to keep themselves safe and comfortable. Any minor who blatantly ignores that boundary is essentially spitting on the comfort and safety of the other members of the server.

Which either makes them too immature to join in the first place, or just a plain old selfish jerk who thinks their entertainment is more important than the boundaries of other people.

Sure, you may feel like you're very mature for a 16 or 17 year old. (I guarantee you'll rethink that later, but okay.) But you are still a MINOR in the eyes of the law. And that makes every adult who interacts with you liable if they expose you to anything that is not made for those under 18, even if they didn't know you're under 18. That has very real world implications, and can--and has--ruined lives.

I know there are probably a lot of people still rolling their eyes and thinking that we're blowing things out of proportion. It's just the internet, everyone lies, every teen has already seen explicit stuff, yadda yadda.

There is a very big difference between lying to access a website, and lying to gain entry to a private server where the mods have specifically said WE DO NOT WANT ANY MINORS IN HERE.

Don't be a dick. Respect those boundaries. Respect the people in that server. Don't fuck things up just because you think the rules are dumb and don't apply to you.

AITA for lying about my age to make some new friends?

I (17nb) recently joined a new fandom. I did the usual procedure of finding popular artists and writers, following them, and consuming their content while falling down the famous rabbit-hole. Then I saw one of the artists I liked had a discord server. I joined it bc I saw it as a way to make new fandom friends, get fic recs etc etc

i joined the server and the carl-bot(?) message popped up and a few people waved to it, so it was all on a high-note. Then I checked the rules and saw that it was 18+ members only and anyone found to be below 18 would be kicked. This is where I worry i may be the asshole.

People were already greeting the small flux of new members in the chat (I had joined in a small wave of other new members) and they were all incredibly friendly. I suddenly felt very self-concious about the idea of immediately leaving so soon after joining so, when writing my introduction, I said I was 18.

At the time, it felt like a bit of a white lie - after all, I'm 17 and am oftentimes mistaken for being ~20 online. I don't have my age in any of my socials for internet safety and I've always behaved quite maturely for my age. 18 was the lowest number I could go, and many of my friends are 18, so I know i can at least be friends with other 18 yr-olds.

The issue comes with the fact there is an nsfw channel in the server. Now, I'm on the internet and heavily versed in fandom - i use ao3. I'm not going to cry over a discord server which has an nsfw channel, that's just stupid. The issue is, I am very aware that quite a lot of the members might be uncomfortable with the idea they've been making nsfw jokes or posting nsfw art where a minor can see, no matter how close to an adult that minor is.

I've been doing my best to 'minimalize' the damage - I rarely talk in the nsfw chat and keep quite strictly to the sfw channels instead. It gives me some sense of, idk, decency for what I'm doing.

I've been in the server for several months now and it's a really safe and fun environment - it's discourse-free and everyone is just really great to talk to. I really enjoy being a member. However, I am also aware I'm violating the rules and lying about my age. I fear leaving now, abruptly, might bring attention to me or upset some of the people who I often talk to on the server.

But it also feels like a very tiny offense - I'm not going around, 'disturbing the peace', and kicking up drama. I'm avoiding what I know they wouldn't be comfortable with me seeing and I stay friendly and mature within conversation

So, aita? Should I leave the server or would that just be a dramatic reaction for one white lie?

What are these acronyms?

[the-eternal-quest-for-balance]

Any fag calling himself a ‘conservative’ while wanting to put a fat piece of shit New Yorker in office should be raped by a horse and hanged in front of his kids. Trump comes from the biggest shithole libtard stronghold in the world and you fucking retards want him in office. Unbelievable.

Coward. Let's start there. Spineless coward hiding behind Anon.

Here's a great take away on your lack of intellectual integrity, hell, any integrity, which you completely lack.

Proven performance. NO NEW WARS, that's number 1. Lowest unemployment rates across the board for EVERYONE. The list goes on and on but you don't care about any of those real world, kitchen table, has direct bearing on the LIVES of real people metrics or issues.

Personality. You didn't like his style. You didn't like hearing the TRUTH without being all dressed up, softened, made palatable for your immature truth buds. In short, it's ALL about you, fuck everyone and anyone who isn't you. Selfish, self centered, narcissistic, your character failings and flaws scream for themselves.

Quite the pathetic looser. Incapable of being able to say, I hate the guy but what he's doing WORKS. Because it did, for EVERYONE, except the slave, chattel, surf types so lacking in spine, character, integrity as to want other Men to rule them, control them, order them around and remove any responsibility of existing from them.

Why would anyone, anyone who can call themselves a Human Being care what you might think ? Well, think isn't a word that could be applied to you, you have no concept as to it's meaning or practice.

Let's finish where we started. You're a COWARD, a spineless shit stain on the sidewalk of the closest Liberal, Democrat, Progressive enclave. You're vitriol is without merit or consideration. Now go play circle jerk with your other simps seeking slavery and stop wasting decent peoples time.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

@mew4-ever18

Deductions based on psychology help I’m not Sherlock Holmes I’m not a criminal profiler (and criminal profiling is notoriously a sham anyway).

lmao

Anyway.

Point the first: Liam is a child

He’s just. Childish.

Liam was a weird, quiet, very smart little kid who was unusually advanced for his age, but “smart kid” is not the same thing as “adult.” Liam is kind, Liam is smart, but that doesn’t mean he is mature.

(I know he’s only 24, and if he survives he still has time to grow up, but still)

The entire plan in The Final Problem is something a seven year old comes up with. And he did! He came up with it when he was like seven! It doesn’t account for people being real humans and not his little puppet action figures.

And then he never changed his mind or adjusted it as he grew up. Because I’m not sure he did, not really, not internally. He never planned on living as an adult. Why did he need to mature?

He does not know how to function as an adult in society. Oh, sure, he has a job, he pays bills, he takes care of people (kind of...? Louis actually does most of the chores around the house, come on. William passes out on couches with his tie and waistcoat still on. William has never been spotted doing chores and couldn’t read a map in volume one and showed up too late to do chores).

He’s reckless and single-minded and stubborn and selfish in weird ways. He has the communication skills of a rock. And he has never indicated any interest in examining or improving on any of that. Everything is black and white and only changes as he moves it in his little world. Why bother; he’s going to be dead soon, he doesn’t have to learn how to compromise.

He is not taking responsibility for his own actions and is trying to run away from it all, and even Sherlock, who is also a childish 24-year-old, tells him this. These are not the actions of a mature adult. They are the actions of an immature jackass, or, in Liam’s case, someone who hasn’t finished growing up (because he’s not a jerk, he would never want to be a jerk--and yet).

The world is not a stage, Liam, stop trying to pretend it is.

Point the second: Liam is a dick

Mostly, this was how I chose to word the trait that is really more accurately described as “petty” but he does some things to other people that aren’t necessarily hurtful but are just like...dude why

He gives his student impossible problems and seems to think that’s fine (it is not fine, go fall off a waterfall). He gives Sherlock a zero on his test and has the most delighted smile I’ve ever seen on his face when he did. The sheer glee of it. He cheated in his game against Sherlock on the train and is perfectly content with that decision. He showed up in his students’ dormitory without warning knowing it would panic them.

I want to also include his mocking the grapefruit guy in here because while that guy kinda deserved it, William’s theatrics were Out of Hand in that one.

Point the third: Liam is kinda sulky

This is a bit less pronounced than the others. But no one else in House Moriarty seems to have his streak for drama (except possibly Albert and even then...).

Moran wants to kill Sherlock, William’s like no no there’s a play. And Moran is just like ...what?

Louis thinks playing with Sherlock on the train is stupid and William repeatedly has to talk him into letting Liam do what he wants because he’s trying to have fun here, Louis, stop.

Louis thinks the entire Merchant of London scheme is stupid (it is stupid) and William is like no, it’ll work, I have plan! And Louis keeps complaining (because Louis has a brain cell) and William keeps insisting on going the dramatic route and just. Absolutely refuses to be dissuaded from his plans when other people think they’re foolish (see again, re: is an actual literal child in an adult’s body).

He has this little pout sometimes when his plans are being interrupted by someone and it’s just--

Okay, darling.

[infinites-chaser]

all the lights that lead us there (are blinding)

| mlqc | shaw |

vague spoilers for ch.20+ content

he can't stay still. not really. his mind's always crackling with something some staticky noise that won't ever go— he tries to ignore it, lose himself in his music, his graffiti, his boarding, the play of electricity across his fingers late at night.

It starts like this: he's on the 330 bus at a hellishly early hour, listening to oasis's wonderwall (though he'll never admit it), the volume on his mp3 player turned up as loud as it can possibly go. just him, liam gallagher crooning in his ears, skateboard under his arm, the bass and drums thrumming through his veins like thunder.

correction: it's just him, the quaking wheels of the bus, and the girl who just got on— she's petite, delicate-looking, the kind of person he guesses is into pastels and flowers and gives people like him judgemental stares when they don't think he's looking. but when he stares at her, she stares back and for a second, it almost looks like the world could begin or end in her wide brown eyes. and maybe he wants it to.

(somehow, she seems familiar.)

he looks away first. static crackles around maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me.

and it's stupid but— 

he's on the same bus every day. maybe he looks for her whenever he gets on. maybe he never sees her.

he cycles through the rest of what's the story morning glory. stops listening to oasis. vows to go back to something his bandmates wouldn't laugh at him for.

he's waiting for the bus again, same route, same time, same driver, blasting green day as loud as it'll go.

he closes his eyes. leans his head back against the sun-flecked window, cradles his skateboard close.

the bus rattles, coughs exhaust, then jerks to a stop. the doors woosh open, woosh shut.

footsteps tap light on the linoleum floor, come to a stop close to him. he doesn't move. then static fizzles and pops loud in his ears, billie joe armstrong's voice stutters, jarring, discordant, wrong

he opens his eyes, and it's her.

her and her wide eyes.

the bus jolts, his skateboard slides, and he catches it before too much damage can be done, but she levels that stare at him, bleeding-hearted dreamer's stare, looking like she wants to save the world, bring all the sinners to justice, his skateboard too, and for a moment he forgets himself.

he makes it rain for her.

gives her the umbrella on a whim.

maybe he wants her to save the world,

maybe he wants her she to save him,

he thinks she could. he thinks she will.

she does.

only, she's as self-sacrificing as he's selfish: didn't think you were a saint, he thinks to himself, the world ending, starting anew around him, time loops bending, universes shifting, floating in and out of focus.

he closes his eyes against every universe's, every timeline's final scene: her body limp as a rag doll's, her blood spreading dark and heavy across the war torn warehouse floor.

didn't think you were a hero, either.

the world's wrong, after. he thinks (stupidly, irrationally, immature, caring in a way he hasn't been in a long, long time) that he should've done more— all he's done is give her an umbrella. for rain and a storm he'd caused. it should've been him, at the end of it all.

though in a world where he's certain he's the only one who remembers her, he isn't really sure if she remembers him.

she doesn’t quite. then she does.

didn't think you looked a hero, he says, one late night over STF documents. her hands stiffen around her pen, her eyes narrow, glitter hard and bright to match it.

what do I look like, then, she asks, voice too-soft, too-calm

he falters. they have a balance, normally. he pushes. she pushes back. this time, he knows: he's gone too far.

what do I look like, she repeats, and her voice is still hard, her eyes still glittering, but there's an undercurrent to the ice, something thinning it, making her hardness fragile,

a savior, he says, near instinctively, and pretends not to notice when she nods, looks back down at her pen, and a tear slides down her cheek, splatters dark against the paper's white.

they come together, in fits and starts:

a warning text she ignores.

an insult. then another.

then, slowly, finally. an uneasy partnership.

it starts like this:

he takes her hand, pulls her onto the stage with him. it's hard to tell with the club's flickering lights. but he thinks she's blushing. it's cute. he's not afraid to admit it. he tries to tell her as much, but it's lost between the pounding of the speakers and the roar of the crowd. he settles for another devil-may-care smile.

what's your favorite song?

what?

I said, your favorite song!

you told me you'd tell me information. important information! that's why I came!

your favorite song, he repeats for a third time, even louder. maybe it'd be annoying if it were anyone else, but he'll say it again: she's cute with that pout. 

then, hastily, as her pout deepens:

it's important information! in exchange, you'll learn how good my band is.

she snorts.

play anything, she says, and he finds his fingers straying over the strings of his bass to pluck out the opening notes of wonderwall. he doesn't dare look up to watch her expression 'til the chorus hits.

she sings along.

she looks happy. wistful happy. and maybe her smile's a little sad, and there's a glisten in her eyes when they lift to meet his, but the smile's for him, the way her gaze lingers is proof, and he'll take any smile he can get from her, no matter how sad.

oasis, huh, he says after. I knew it. your taste in music sucks.

she scoffs and reaches a hand up to knuckle his sweaty forehead, hard. he lets her. he'll take this, too.

later, he stretches a hand out, catches a raindrop, surveys it, then shrugs, half to himself. sure, it's cool to roll up to people like yeah I can cause storms (not to mention it's a hell of a handy evol in a fight) but maybe he's being stupid because when he sees her sad smile he wishes his evol could clear the clouds and bring her sunshine back instead.

he does the next best thing: he teases her. and maybe it makes her huff and pout more times than not, but it makes him happier which is really half the battle. and he's sure that behind some of those scoffs are smiles.

between their trading of barbs (always dry, quippy, light, never meant to hurt) she just goes quiet. he doesn't like quiet. he's not used to it, and from the look in her eyes when she gets that way, he can tell she doesn't like it either.

you can talk about it, you know, he says one time, and she freezes, blank stare instantly shifting to a deer-in-headlights look, then annoyance. 

talk about what?

(atta girl, he thinks. sure it's defensive, but nothing scares him more than when she's just— nothing. lifeless. trapped in the past of a time worlds away.)

he scoffs. 

your terrible taste in music? i meant— before

(and they both know what 'before' is without him having to say it aloud, saying it feels like it'd make it all the more real, it'd be wrong)

her eyes are wide again.

before? she says, and he feels it stretching between them, that distance, the void, the reminder that she and him, they don't have a before, only a now, maybe an after.

we need to talk about your taste in music, too, though. urgently, he adds quickly, musters a grin. waits for the scoff, the eye roll to come.

it doesn't. instead, she reaches up to ruffle his hair with a cheeky smile before he can react.

you're a good boy, after all, aren't you, hm?

he scowls. he goes to grab her hand, wind her fingers through his, but realizes what he's about to do seconds before his fingers brush hers— he changes trajectory, attends to his mussed hair. (there's an art to the rebel hairdo. clearly she doesn't know it.)

and he would retort, but she's still looking at him, and her smile's gone all soft, not in a sad way, but in a way that just. does things to his heart,

so when she says 'thank you,' all he can say back is 'you're welcome,' and if he sounds more sincere than he's ever before, she doesn't notice, but he is.

he's not sure when their relationship—  reluctant alliance, friendship, more shifts, but it does, it evolves, it jumps— two steps forward, sparks fly, and they're back in the same place as before. same, he says, as if lightning could ever strike the same spot twice (he knows it does, he's not stupid, not like she is, eyes so bleeding heart wide they could swallow the world in her idealism, her kindness, they could and they will, after all, they've already swallowed him, remade him whole).

his days are filled with her, his nights, too. all the restless hours the clock strikes and neither of them wants to be alone,

bus rides at strange hours and electric eye contact across a crowded club after dark (he's tuning his guitar, about to take the stage, she's sitting alone at the end of the bar, two shots away from drunk) neon lights and drive-throughs before the dawn for hangover fast food, a tired employee's voice crackling through the speaker as he tries to give the order of the whole minivan— most nights it's him and the rest of his band, but once it's just him and her, sunrise after a sleepless night at the top of an empty parking garage, he gives her a can of spray paint and pretends to drive away while she runs after the banged-up van and tries to tag him, the studio and snacks and out-of-character honesty after waking up from nightmares

(it catches him by surprise, even as her brows curve up in surprise, too. the you can stay as long as you want, even though what he means is you can stay forever.)

she's sprawled clumsy across the faded cushions of his couch, halfway to dreamland, when he catches himself reaching to brush the hair from her eyes, thumb tracing tender over the edge of her cheek.

she murmurs something under his touch, soft, indistinct, and his heart's responding murmurs give his voice to a near-unconscious reply,

maybe, he whispers, you're gonna be the one who saves me,

he's about to leave her be when her finger catches round his pinky, holds his hand close,

save me? you already have, she says, 

shut up, he says back, you're drunk.

her eyes blink open, spark bright when they lift to meet his and he's falling, he's already gone, about to make another mistake to add to the many or the one right choice in his life

not drunk, she mutters, and her eyes shutter closed.

he swallows.

I know, he replies. her brow furrows.

he waits a second, a second longer, but her eyes stay closed this time. her breathing evens in the silence. the worry smooths out from between her eyes. she looks peaceful for once,

for once, he could almost imagine her happy. imagine them happy. the thought gives him courage again, to linger at her side. to lean in. to press his lips to the back of her hand.

makes it a promise, an oath sworn by someone who'd never once wanted to be loyal to anyone but himself,

someone who'd decided that there's someone he's willing to follow.

someone he wants to have. to hold.

(all the world's adventures and he wants to be hers.)

[thecottageinthedark]

Sorting Persona 4

Here again with another Sorting Hat Chats post! This one’s for Persona 4. Full disclaimer; this is based just on the game, not the anime. Also it’s behind a cut cause it is LONG. And has spoilers.

The system I’m using is explained here by @wisteria-lodge.

The Persona 4 MC, whose name is either Souji Seta or Yu Narukami depending on which supplemental materials you go by, is a really REALLY loud Badger secondary. His power is based on making Social Links with NPCs and shifting to become whatever they need-and also on patiently grinding to level up his attributes. And because he lives so much in this secondary-plus the fact that on a meta level he’s kind of a stand-in for the player-his Primary is hard to see.

But where it gets revealed in the end is the decisive moment when the ending you’re going to get is decided. The Investigation Team have discovered that Namatame’s been putting people into the TV, and thus are assuming he’s the murderer-and it’s become horribly personal, because one of the people he did that to was Nanako, and even though she’s been rescued, she’s deathly ill thanks to the TV World’s poison.

And now you-and the MC-have a choice. The IT are baying for Namatame’s blood, ready to kill. One Badger Primary method would be to appeal to the fact that he’s a person, you can’t just kill people….but nobody’s listening. Another would be to dehumanise him and say, he’s a murderer, he needs to die for the sake of everyone-going along with all the fury of the group. A Lion would lash out too-less because everyone’s doing it and more from their own gut feeling, but that would still lead to dead Namatame. A Snake might kill Namatame because he hurt Nanako...or, in the Golden remake, if they’ve done Adachi’s social link, they might cover for him. Either way, they’d be prioritising an inner circle member.

And all of those get you bad endings. Especially the Snake choice to cover for Adachi.

What gets the good ending, the happy ending where the MC is fulfilled and at peace, is to ignore all the emotion that’s running so high, and order everyone to step back and take time to think about whether the theory of Namatame being the killer makes sense. Pounce on the niggling little detail that doesn’t fit, and realise that the assumption everyone is labouring under isn’t true. And then prioritise the actual truth over personal loyalties or emotional reactions.

Bird Primary.

Because of course. This is a detective story. Your party are called both the Investigation Team and the Seekers of Truth. Even the title song hints at it; find the truth (Bird) by getting together with others (Badger).

Yosuke Hanamura’s a young, immature Snake Primary at game start, with the selfishness typical to that. His Shadow throws that back in his face, and he realises he doesn’t like being an asshole whose secret gut reaction to murders happening is ‘well at least I’m not bored anymore now something is happening in this dead-end town’.

So he does two things pretty much at the same time; he widens his inner circle to let in first Souji and then the rest of the IT, and he adds a model on top to let him care about things outside that circle. I think it’s a Lion model-a young Lion, just like his Snake, that edges into Glory Hound, but keeps hold of the idea that you should do certain things because they’re just right.

(It’s not based on the MC, though the MC is undoubtedly his most important person, who he even calls his partner. But then, as I said, the MC’s Bird is very quiet, so it’d be hard for Yosuke to perceive it well enough to mimic it. I think it’s actually based on Chie, who is after all the inner circle member he has known longest!)

And his secondary? Yosuke’s a support guy. He lifts his friends up. His family run Junes, and he leverages that connection to create a base location for the IT and secure a portal into the TV world that’s big enough to be usable. When Teddie comes to the human world, it’s Yosuke who gives him a place to stay. He’s a Badger secondary, and again, this makes perfect sense. The Lover sorting. No wonder so much of the fandom ships him with the MC.

Chie Satonaka is LOUD and BRASH and if you are a jerk she will KICK YOU IN THE FACE. She is so goddamn Lion Secondary, and utterly unapologetic about it.

Her primary, I think, is Lion again. The reason she has gotten possessive of Yukiko (as her Shadow calls her out on) isn’t that she wants Yukiko to be just hers-it’s that she wants to be Yukiko’s knight. Saving the princess is actually a textbook Lion cause. It lets her feel heroic and brave.

But that’s not good for either of them. Damsel in distress is a shitty role, one that doesn’t allow Yukiko to be strong and capable herself, and Chie pushing Yukiko into that role is really straining their relationship. It’s also something that Chie herself knows is wrong-that’s why her Shadow accuses her of it. (“I am a Shadow, the true self...”)

So instead Chie changes gears, because oh look a new Cause just popped up! Find the killer and bring them to justice! And on top of that, there’s always sexist prats to kick.

Yukiko Amagi models Badger Primary, because it’s expected of her. Running an inn is a really Badger kind of job. She also models Badger Secondary, for the same reasons. She feels this is who she’s meant to be; sweet, gentle, socially adept, community-focused and hard-working. The traditional Japanese ideal of womanhood.

But it chafes. The weight of societal expectations feels crushing. She doesn’t want to do stuff just because she’s meant to, because people think she should. She’s an Internal Primary, and needs to follow the voice of her own heart.

And where that heart leads her...is back to the Amagi Inn, except now she’s decided that she’s doing this for herself. She needed to feel that she could actually choose to not inherit the inn, before she could realise that she wanted to run it. She’s a Snake Primary, and the inn is important to her because it’s hers.

Her secondary...actually I get the feeling she’s like Toph Beifong of Avatar, a Snake who likes to spend most of her time in neutral. She is delightfully quirky and weird, and owns that, but she doesn’t charge like a Lion and she’s comfy with wearing masks when the situation calls for it.

Kanji Tatsumi panics at the idea that he might be gay, and caretakes like a boss, and that might look at first sight like a Double Badger who’s scared that he might be one of the people he’s used to dehumanising. His Shadow screams that it wants to be accepted...but what calms it is when Kanji himself accepts it, and says that this resolution is about being true to himself. Kanji’s a Double Lion who burnt his primary because being given shit for the feminine, queer-coded parts of himself made him lose faith in his internal compass, worrying that it was leading him somewhere that he viewed as bad. Internalised homophobia’s a bitch of a thing.

Accepting his Shadow is the start of Kanji healing his primary-letting go of shame for being an oddball and telling the world to go fuck itself if it thinks it can make him conform. He does model Badger Secondary-as I said, he caretakes like a boss-but that’s more a thing he does as a gift to others. When it comes to solving problems, he charges in swinging, ready to beat up anyone from biker gangs to otherworldly monsters.

Rise Kujikawa is a cheerful, shameless Snake Primary, loving and ambitious. She became an idol to make friends, and enjoys the fame it gets her. And when she needs to take a break for the sake of her mental health, she has no compunctions about doing so.

But she needed that break because the idol life was stressing her out-unsurprisingly, it’s a really intense life. And the particular problem she had was to do with the conflicting expectations the public has of celebrities. Perfection is demanded...but so is authenticity.

Rise realised that she was face-shifting as an integral part of her career, and this knowledge sent her into a tailspin. The fans don’t like the real Rise Kujikawa-they like Risette. But who is the real Rise Kujikawa? She doesn’t know! It’s frightening! What if she’s just made of smoke and mirrors? How does she find out what’s underneath?

And the answer she comes to is that there is no real Rise Kujikawa...which is the same as saying that there is no false one. Rise is Risette is Rise, it’s all just her, adapting to the context as she needs to. She’s a Badger Secondary, and the act of performance is the true self.

And for her, that’s a good answer-it brings her peace. But now we need to talk about Teddie.

Because just hearing Rise say ‘there’s no real me’ sends Teddie into a Shadow crisis right there.

He completely fucking loses it. He’s a denizen of the TV world-he’s been immune to it all this time, never manifesting a Shadow, but this is what breaks him. And that just screams Bird Lion. It’s his Buzz Lightyear moment-or rather his first Buzz Lightyear moment, because there are two. This is the first, and he survives it by retreating into his Secondary. It allows him to bring Shadow Teddie under control...but this isn’t sustainable. He’s realised something terrible and can’t avoid that knowledge indefinitely.

And soon enough he admits it to himself (and to the MC). He is a Shadow, that somehow became self-aware. His Truth was never true. He can’t handle it, he has no idea how to even exist, and he outright tells the MC that he intends to commit suicide.

He recovers, though-and he does so because the MC tells him Nanako survived. That’s the first thing that gives him a glimmer of hope, because his Truth already had some Snakey elements in there about chosen people and ambitions. He comes back from the brink, reshapes his system to centre those Snake principles, and returns to the side of his friends.

Lastly, Naoto Shirogane, our other queer-coded character. (I’m using she pronouns for the sake of canon here-but I’m a firm believer in nonbinary Naoto, for the record.) I think she’s a Bird secondary-the only one of those here, jeez. She’s just so analytical. She’s a rapid-fire Bird too, Detective Prince working on a case, squarely in the middle of her comfort zone. But push her out of it-into a normal teenager social situation, say-and watch her squirm!

She has a Bird Primary performance, too. But performance is the operative word here. She’s trying to look adult and smart and collected, in order to be taken seriously by the police officers she works with. And she is smart, mind you, but that’s not the why of her though it is the how. It’s not Naoto who goes ‘wait, let’s think about this, we need more information’ at the crucial point, but the MC, who really is a Bird Primary. Naoto was the one to suggest doing a little vigilante justice vis-a-vis murdering Namatame.

Her real Primary is Lion. Being a detective is a Cause for her, not a Truth, and she is blazingly certain of her own sense of what’s right-so much so that she doesn’t stop and check it against other people’s. And she inspires people! She doesn’t even mean to, and certainly doesn’t know why, but she is just so cool that people flock to her and admire her. ‘The Detective Prince’ is, when you think about it, a really Lion Bird kind of title!

Her Shadow has two issues with her. First, it harps on the gender angle. Hey, self, there’s that thing about your identity that you’ve been refusing to think about! You need to go poke at it! And then it breaks down into a scared child. Self, your performance is eating you alive. You need to do it, yes, the Cause demands it, but you also need to be able to stop sometimes and let yourself have emotions!

In short:

MC/Souji/Yu: Bird primary, Badger secondary

Yosuke: Snake primary, Badger secondary, models Lion primary

Chie: Lion primary, Lion secondary

Yukiko: Snake primary, Snake secondary, with Badger primary and secondary models that start out pretty unhealthy for her. 

Kanji: Lion primary that starts out burnt and begins to unburn after his Shadow fight, Lion secondary. Models Badger secondary.

Rise: Snake primary, Badger secondary

Teddie: Bird primary, Lion secondary. Falls dramatically and recovers by shaping his system to be more Snakelike.

Naoto: Lion primary, Bird secondary, performs Bird primary

[koolkat9]

Character Thoughts: England

Nobody suggested him to be, but England is my favorite Hetalia character so I’m indulging myself. Still, feel free to send suggestions  for these character thoughts things (if you are interested)!

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang 

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff 

best quality: His green eyes (I am a sucker for green eyes lol), the fact that he does care (even if he doesn’t show it), and that deep down he is a romantic  

worst quality: He has a terrible temper and is too prideful

ship them with: Germany (GerEng is my OTP in case you couldn’t tell), France, Portugal and starting to get into shipping him with Prussia

brotp them with: France, Germany, Portugal 

needs to stay away from: Spain probably

misc. thoughts: I will not lie, England is my favorite character. I did not choose this and the realization slowly crept up on me about a year after I completed the anime. Okay let’s get into the details. Despite him being a prideful jerk, I still love him so much. Like there is so many layers to him. I love his interactions with little America as it showed a more softer side to him and leads me to think he is actually pretty good with children. He loves rock music and is a complete bookworm which I can relate to so that’s nice. Also I am a sucker for a harsh character with a softer side which fits England. He is also full of contradictories that make me love him more. He can be cynical and a romantic. Mature and immature (though I guess that depends on who is around). A rocker punk that also dresses in proper clothing and embroiders. I also like to think of him being a good leader (at least in the world wars, specifically WW2 considering during that time Britain was a major power and leader in Europe) though sometimes the pressure was too much during certain periods. He is not an innocent, sweet, cinnamon roll, not by a long shot. He’s hot headed, arrogant and sometimes even selfish. But part of that just makes him a more compelling character and seeing his good qualities come out is even more satisfying. And now I need to stop because I’m rambling. I could probably go on for hours about him.   

[defensefilms]

Yes, Kyrie, Just Be You, Bro

Both the NBA and the NFL have had their PR problems as far as getting their players to take vaccinations, because pro sports actually requires you to be around other human beings, who may or may not have contracted the virus.

Kyrie Irving is among a gourp of players that thinks that covid-19 is a conspiracy theory, even though Karl Anthony Towns literally lost his mother to the virus, and I myself, have lost relatives to this virus.

But what do we know right? What in the hell do the world’s leading health organizations and medical professionals know about anything?

The combined might of conspiracy theories and Kyrie Irving’s awesome intellect is to great for mere mortals, like myself, to even fathom, bro. Don’t you know that? 

We’re dumb and he’s smart, bro. Deal with it.  

The thing that is hilarious to me, is that people defend this guy, and yet the pattern that has been consistent is that any time there is a team related obligation, Kyrie is the one to cause a stink over something.

In 2019, ESPN’s Jackie McMullen’s investigative piece, noted an incident where the Nets players were posing for group photos, and Kyrie refused to take off his hat. Then there was 2020, where Kyrie said the NBA players should refuse to play, in light of the George Floyd murder and I wouldn’t have been mad about that one, but now it’s this.

To be honest, as a Sixer fan, Kyrie refusing to vaccinate and potentially missing a bunch of games as a result, is the best news we’ve had in weeks. 

You mean the Brooklyn Nets are actually going to not have one of their star players, while trying to secure the number one seed in the East? 

Oh, yes, please. Do you have any more blessings to bestow upon us kind sir?

This is exactly the reason why the Brooklyn Nets are not most people’s favorites to win the chip.

Five will get you ten, there’s always going to be some kind of self inflicted problem, like James Harden being out of shape, like Kyrie going on vacation or talking smack about his coach or refusing to take a vaccine.

The only real adult on the Brooklyn Nets roster, is Kevin Durant. Those other two are children with millionaire bank accounts.

Irving addressed the media today and implored the media to “respect his privacy”.

That’s absolutely hilarious for two reasons.

First, your job is not conducted in private. Secondly, you taking a decision not to get vaccinated, could endanger someone else’s life. Why should I respect your privacy, when you don’t even respect other people’s health?

There will be no shortage of stories for me to write about, when it comes to the Brooklyn Nets. It’s Kevin Durant surrounded by knuckleheads, and remember, this Brooklyn team have abysmally failed to stop feeding the media headlines since this big 3 was brought together last year. 

So Irving, once again can’t help himself, and I’m sick of mental health issues being blamed for the fact that Kyrie is a spoiled, coddled, over-indulged, inconsiderate, jerk. 

The guy I feel bad for is Kevin Durant.

If you watched Durant in that interview he did with Draymond Green, he seems at peace with himself.

They didn’t tell the truth about everything in that interview, but it’s clear Durant has grown and doesn’t have any bitterness towards Draymond and the Golden State front office.

As a man, there is nothing worse than getting to a new point of knowing yourself or personal achievement, only to have someone around you, hold your progress back by being immature, short sighted, petty and selfish.

Kyrie Irving has become Kevin Durant and the Nets biggest hinderance and headache and it’s actually not unreasonable for the Brooklyn Nets to trade him.

[novantinuum]

Contact (Ch. 3/4)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (No TW this chapter, but keep in mind this involves major character injury)

Words: 3.0K~

Summary: The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

Chapter Summary: Amethyst, Greg, and Pearl struggle to keep it together.

So this fic is Steven and Amethyst centric, set during the 2 year time skip. It’s also kinda in conversation with An Indirect Kiss, and explores the idea of what could happen to a hybrid with a cracked gem. This chapter has no specific trigger warnings. 

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well. AO3 link will be provided in the reblogs. Thank you! <3

~

Chapter 3: The Fountain

Discounting extreme circumstances, (such as diamond mind control or flaws in incubation), Gems are designed to have perfect memory.

It’s one of the many aspects of their culture that surprises humans, and all too often one that makes them jealous. But Amethyst doesn’t understand why there’s anything to be jealous about. Sure, maybe it means she can learn a skill once and be done with it, or hold on to cherished moments in crystal clear recollection, but it also means that in some part she’ll always be haunted by everything boring, everything bad. It’s an unavoidable facet of her life: that every passing second of all those years she spent alone in the Kindergarten waiting for orders she’d never receive is forever etched into the baseline circuitry of her gem like ink on a human’s skin, that she can remember every rotten fight she and Pearl ever had with picture perfect clarity, each instance ending with her feeling like absolute garbage for days and days. That... no matter how hard she tries to escape the untimely reminders... deep down, all those selfish, immature versions of herself she wishes she could dump in the past forever are still a part of her coding.

In comparison, humanity has it lucky. In time, they forget. They move on. Even the most traumatizing memories seem to eventually fade by the end of a life, leaving behind only feelings... only scars... just whispering impressions of those experiences.

She desperately hopes Steven takes after his dad and not Rose in this aspect.

The four of them exit the ship in a hurry, Amethyst still helping Greg carry his son, and Pearl advancing ahead to check on the state of the water supply.

As always, Rose’s fountain is a time capsule. The shrubs and trees surrounding the inner pool are tame now, a stark difference from the first time she had the untimely pleasure of visiting, but the cold, staticky sensation rising within her as she steps off the boarding ramp of the Roaming Eye with Steven’s legs secure in her grasp is the same. Amethyst only barely holds back a shudder. She recalls the disorientation she felt in this place so vividly she may as well be cracked all over again.

The world glitches violently within her sights, ashen sky and charcoal stone phasing into each other. Left is right and up is down, hard light stretching out from her broken gemstone like clawing, yearning fingers... forming and reforming, taut at one moment and pliable at the next, and her words are jumbled and backwards, and deep within she knows this with an intense clarity but she can’t help it, she can barely even think, she ca—

“Amethyst, no more roughhousing, you'll exacerbate your crack!”

“Doog m’I, gnihtyna ro yrrow t’nod.”

“This isn't right... the fountain isn’t running.”

“WHY CAN’T I CRY?!”

The thin little circuits of light running throughout her projected body jolt in remembrance of that afternoon, indelible phantom pangs of a sliver of time she can never forget for anything. With a dull huff and a grimace, she adjusts her hold on the boy she’s long come to see as her baby brother. Best to not become lost in the flood of the past when she’s got a mission to uphold. That’s... that’s all this is, ch’yeah? A mission. Just a mission. Retrace your steps, meet your goal, get it done. Easy-peasy. No problem.

Ignore the stakes. Ignore everything that isn’t right here and right now. Ignore the sharp cries of pain that escape his lips intermittently, that stab at you so deep you feel like you should be poofing.

“Amethyst?” a voice comes to her softly. “You okay?”

But don’t ignore Greg. Whatever you do, don’t ignore the people around you, don’t lose yourself to that awful disorientation again, don’t make everything worse, don’t push, don’t roughhouse, don’t—

“She’s been cracked like this before,” Pearl explains as she walks in a frantic pace ahead of them. “And we Gems, well... we remember things vividly, shall we say.”

She scoffs, still inwardly cradling her gem in response to what happened in the Roaming Eye. Sheesh. It’s so typical of her to launch headfirst into other people’s business before she can open her own dumb mouth to explain on her own, huh?

“Wow,” she bites back on jerk instinct, “thanks for the announcement, Pearl. ‘S not like I could’ve said it better myself, or anything.”

The slender Gem snaps upon her bait with a piercing, annoyance-filled gaze, and frankly, Amethyst would’ve doled out another snide comment in return had Steven’s hoarse voice not chosen that moment to hitch in panic, derailing all other thoughts in an instant. Her arms grow just as stiff and locked as the muscles in his calves, be it from sympathy or as a mirror into the bitter past, to a time where she suffered just as much as he is now.

The weight of this realization settles like lead at her core. Her favorite guy in the whole galaxy is in earth-shattering pain, and she’s wasting precious seconds of his life taking cheep shots at Pearl?

Not the time, she growls at herself, shedding her petty feud to the wind. Focus!

“Uh, y’guys? I-I think it’s happening again!” his father says, exhausted arms quivering under the strain of carrying the boy for so long.

“Damnit,” she hisses, and follows Greg’s lead on easing his body closer to the ground before the worst of his fits arrive. This time, Steven lacks the energy to mask his broken sobs, split between desperate gasps for breath. Nothing, not gentle whispers or even his father’s calloused hand delicately brushing through his curls, seems to soothe his anguish now. She doesn’t consider herself much of a crier, but she’s close to tears herself just watching him. As she glances up to check how far they are from their destination, she catches a flash of ivory and blue disappearing between the shrubbery. “Pearl!” she bellows, her shout echoing across the entire garden. “Slow down, would ‘ya? He’s seizing again!”

Her features contort as she whirls around to glance back, unmaskable stress now nearly tearing her apart at the seems. She jabs her finger at the narrow path between the shrubs. “But we’re almost—“

“Fine, fine, never mind! You’re right!” Amethyst blurts, waving her off. “You go run ahead. Just...”

Her voice grows thick as she roughly wipes away the moisture accumulating at the corner of her eyes. She forces herself to drink in the stark reality of their immediate situation, taking note of the injured teen’s hiccuping cries as he recovers from his latest seizing episode, as he continues to ride through the unimaginable torment of a cracked gem left too long without healing... his dad, kneeling amongst dirt and stone, no doubt pressing harsh indents into his knees as he freely offers his lap as a headrest, panting with exhaustion, absolutely wrecked with anxiety and terror despite doing everything within his power to mask it for his son’s sake... and her. Her. Amethyst, Facet-5 Cut-8XM, a Gem who’s become downright traumatized by this place, by this precise scenario, barely able to retain a handle on her own emotions and eidetic recollections to where she actually feels she can be of reliable help.

“I don’t think we can’t follow you anymore, ‘kay?” she says, hoarse. “Greg’s tired, Steven’s flat-up in tears, and... an’ this place is startin’ to really mess me up, y’know? S-so...”

She tugs at thick clumps of her hair as the thought trails off, fingers fruitlessly searching for a clue that might direct her out of these darkened, murky waters and back to shore.

But as always, if you put in the work to look for them, there’s leading lights scattered amongst the mist in places you’d never expect.

“Bring the fountain to you,” Pearl completes, gaze softening within that moment. She nods in wholehearted acceptance of her duty. “I’m on it.”

Thank you, she mouths in earnest, the dull buzzing running throughout her form dropping to a blessed minimum as she— lips parted— watches her longtime friend disappear between the shrubs and vibes, every arc of her movement accentuated by unerring grace. Amethyst flushes, and mentally pushes such sentimental distraction away.

Right. Okay. One problem solved. Back to Steven.

The hybrid in question is cradled in Greg’s care, his head laying in the man’s lap and his limbs twitching without repose. She hasn’t checked the state of his gemstone recently, but given the minutes ticking away since his injury and his steadily deteriorating state, she’s almost too scared to look. Greg continues to whisper thin reassurances to him, wiping the sweat off his dampened forehead.

“He’s getting really warm,” he comments, stress coating his tone, and damn does she wish she could do something, anything, to help, but there’s simply nothing they can do without that healing water.

As the trio waits for word from Pearl, inevitable waves of dread collapsing upon them heavier and heavier with each uneven heartbeat that passes, Steven’s wobbly gaze falls upon her.

“Ah... Amethyst,” he gasps, barely able to attain a full breath.

She snaps to attention, clasping his hand tight in hers. “Yeah? I’m here, buddy, I’m here! Whatever you need.”

“I’m- I’m s-suh—“

Sorry, she realizes he’s trying to say, remembering how he struggled earlier trying not to stumble over the ‘s.’ She swallows hard.

“You don’t gotta be sorry for anything, ‘kay?” she says, rhythmically rubbing the back of his palm with her thumb. “It’s my fault, this is just- I should’ve been looking out for you, I should’ve protected you and I failed. All this is on me.”

“B-but I—“

To her utter horror, his next words are so slurred in his disorientation they’re all but unintelligible. All attempts on his part to communicate are then broken as he gnashes his teeth together and writhes in his father’s arms. Greg’s brokenly calling his name as he loosens his hold, vying with every slice of will he has left to help him not hurt himself further, help him find any shred of relief, but it’s of little use. The boy is all but unresponsive right now. She tries her best not to internalize the sound of his broken wails, least they be carved upon on her gem forever. Her form flickers in the height of her distress, hard light veins pulsing with unparalleled intensity.

The memories are impossible to dodge now. Those fragments strike like barbed arrows.

The cliffside. The fall. The rock. The audible crack as her fate is sealed. The immediate static rising in her mind as she stands up, only halfway alert, feigning casual indifference as her body quite literally begins to fall apart. I’m fine. I’m fine. The worry, the brambles, the panic, the fountain, the strained tears, c-can’t think can’t feel, can’t —

“It’s empty!” Pearl cries from the distance, voice shrill and laced with panic.

Her eyes split wide as she snaps her head towards the ivory Gem’s call, dread clasping ahold of her like a physical hand to her gem. “What??”

She emerges from between the shrubbery to enter the clearing again, emphasizing her doom-spelling news with a sharp flourish:

“I said, the main fountain is empty!”

“Empty?" Greg repeats, all the blood draining from his face. He squeezes his injured son’s hand with the grip of a man lost at sea, clutching to a life preserver.

But while he freezes upon processing this information, Pearl can’t seem to stop pacing. Her lithe fingers twitch rapid fire as she passes back and forth in front of them, brimming with an infinite supply of nervous energy that’s befitting of their perilous situation.

“Stars, the water we left behind after healing all those corrupted Gems must have completely evaporated...” she mutters to herself, clutching at the lapels of her jacket as if this garment is the last tangible thing holding her form together. “I knew we shouldn’t have left it open to the elements!”

“But then- what the hell are we supposed to do now?!” he says, voice breaking in all his fearful anguish. His gaze snaps from her to Steven laying prone in his lap. “My only son is in agonizing pain! He’s- he’s got a high fever! We can’t just give up! There has to be something!”

“I- I’ll check in the inner chambers!” Pearl says with dawning realization, one last ray of hope penetrating the glossy surface of her gemstone as she jabs her index finger into the air. “Surely there has to be some remnant of Rose’s healing magic left, right?”

Steven shudders in his dad’s arms, sloppy tears streaming down his pale cheeks.

“Tluaf ym lla si siht...” he blubbers, and for whatever reason something about his unintelligible speech seems... different from before. Her brow creases as she searches the infinite wilds of her stored memory for answers, for patterns, anything that might provide the slightest hint of clarity in this fraught situation, and sure enough...

Dawning truth stings like a fist to the jaw as she recalls her own experience and realizes his slurred words are far more than unintelligible; this injury has scrambled his mental processes to such a degree that his speech has slipped backwards. And that can only mean... Lip quivering, Amethyst pushes through the dread tugging at her soul and yanks up the hem of the teen’s shirt. The deep gouge running diagonal across his gemstone has lengthened— edging ever closer to the edges of the pentagon— and threatens to partition it in half. Pearl’s soft “oh no” and Greg’s strained sob tell her everything she needs to know. The consensus is clear: time is not their ally anymore.

“Pearl, HURRY!” she yells, pointing towards the fountain’s heart.

Her fellow Crystal Gem doesn’t even pause to comment on the matter, and instead, water brimming at the corner of her eyes as she spends her last second in their company lovingly gazing upon the boy as only a surrogate mother could, hurriedly disappears between the shrubs to seek out Steven’s last chance of salvation. Left alone in the throes of their mutual panic, Amethyst and Greg place comforting hands upon his head as— huddled together on the cold stone of the fountain’s doorstep— they’re assailed by the terrifying possibility that his life may very well slip between their fingers before Pearl can ever hope to return. Gone, in an instant.

Shattered.

Her shapeshifted stomach churns at the mere thought, like she’s finally eaten something her hard light system refuses to break down. She clutches tight at her own gem, gasping as she rides the sharp wave of distress. In all these years, though every fight and struggle... she’s never seen someone shatter before. Fresh, hopeless tears cut a raw path across her cheeks as her hand trails across his overheated forehead.

Stars, not today. Not him, please not him.

The teen barely restrains a hiccuping sob as he cries out again. “Thgir gnihtyna... od t’nac I, syug yrros m’I!”

Greg’s breath hitches, gaze briefly trailing from his son’s strained face to his still-exposed gem. Whirling to face her, he roughly grabs ahold of her shoulders, his expression downright pleading now. “Pearl... Amethyst, if she doesn’t find anything, if the fountain’s empty, please tell me there’s somewhere else we can go, something else we can do...!”

She frantically shakes her head. “I- I don’t know, we—“

Desperately, she wishes she could give him reassurance. Desperately, she wishes Rose had thought ahead, secured a sum of her essence in another location for redundancy’s sake, but the truth is a bitter pill: they’re all but useless in this place, stripped of their agency and forced to rely on the mercy of the dead. If they can’t find any remnants of Rose’s healing tears here, then Steven’s gem will splinter into shards and he will die. She clenches her teeth together, once again feeling those phantom pains rip through her form, faint impressions of a near-tragedy long abandoned to the past, it’s over, it’s over, get a hold of yourself, keep it together, keep it together, keep it to—

“Yaw siht leef annaw t’nod I- I, deracs os, os m’I, Dad, deracs os m’I... I!”

The boy’s father clutches his hand in his, arm trembling just like Steven’s frail body as— after his long, valiant attempt to mask it for everyone else’s sake— he finally crumbles, failing to swallow his fear.

“Oh- oh god,” he chokes over his words, eyes puffy and red, “I’m... I’m gonna lose him, aren't I? He’s gonna—“

“Eid annaw t’nod I—!”

And then, at the apex of the storm, Amethyst finds what she’s always been searching for: their leading light, burning faithfully through the dark.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it!!” Pearl cries from the near distance, voice growing louder with each and every syllable. “I’m coming!”

She emerges from between the shrubbery like the first ray of light breaking an eclipse's totality, clutching a thin vial in her grasp. At first glimpse the vial almost looks empty, but after the ivory Gem drops to her knees beside them in the clearing and pops the cork stopper out, sure enough— it holds a few pink-tinged drops of fluid, Rose’s coveted magic. And all they need is one.

They all watch expectantly, blood and hard light alike pulsing through their forms at a unified pace as Pearl tips the vial, allowing the tears to careen downward towards its mouth.

When the single droplet finally slips from the edge of the glass, it hangs in the air right above his cracked gem for what feels like hours, scattering the ambient sunlight across their tear-stained, expectant faces like the dizzying patterns of a kaleidoscope. In an intentional echo of all the once-alien experiences she’s long come to cherish and genuinely respect, Amethyst— despite having no lungs of her own— takes a deep, anticipating breath, her mind running through every what-if as she waits. The futures where he dies. The futures where he lives. The futures where... where she still has a chance to tell him how much he means to her. Where she’s not too late. Not a failure. Futures where they can laugh again, where they can finally begin to move on.

Time creeps forward. The healing tear plummets downward, directly towards his center facet. She exhales.

Contact.

[jumin-deserves-better]

This right here is the most positive thing I have seen about jumin on reddit

( A BIG RANT AHEAD)

I don't understand why jumin is hated a lot within the MM fandom, just because he is a self centered person. He was a jerk in jaehee's route, I agree with that, but I eventhough I played his route after jaehee's route,which I didnt even like, I kinda lost respect for her,she was being immature at times, she could have made her relationship with Jumin better,I felt like jumin was a whole different person in her route just for the drama?!*idk*. And the fact that RFA treats him like shit annoys me sometimes, they joke around when a person who was closed off, finally opens up. Like why?.And..I am just disappointed that people label him as a kinky possessive Christian grey kinda guy. The BE 2 is ok cuz the whole 'locking u up in the cage' was consensual. The scariest part is the obsession that jumin han had with you. And whose was fault was this? It was you,the MC.You brought the bad in him . Stop saying "BE 2 IS THE BEST ENDING,DADDY JUMIN HAN-💦". You are the weird one here. U r the one who forces him to tie u up, not Jumin. HE WAS NOT EVEN ABUSIVE FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I was disappointed with Zen, jaehee and Seven when they all treated him, as if Jumin was a weirdo. I felt like jumin was trying to connect with them so badly cuz he did not have a proper family. He deserves more than the RFA, for the first time I didn't like they treated one of their key members of RFA, They were totally avoiding jumin just because he was selfish rich person.blah..blah...., though he is trying too hard to get close with them 🤷‍♀️.

Source : @ningyosan in tumblr

The best thing about jumin is he changes a lot in the end. He starts to understand he was overworking jaehee, and gives a vacation. Though Zen was being a whiny baby, he accepted him for who he is and even told him to protect MC when he is not there for her. Like who in the world would say that? I wouldn't .

But, still people will say he is possessive over MC. Hear me out, he was but then he changes and learns that it's wrong to get possessive everytime . He was completely new to love when he first saw you and he starts to learn about love when he is with you.

I felt so proud that he changed a lot.

For people who thinks he rushed the marriage part , I agree it was too fast,he could have waited atleast for 1 month to actually get to know you, but whatever it is a game,anything can happen, but hear me out, He is a Catholic Christian and he is opposed to 'living together' before marriage. My religion also follows the same principle of Jumin when it comes to relationship. This principle actually shows that when he finds 'the one', he will be loyal and devoted to that person, which I really admire that from him, u don't see these type of guys nowadays. maybe that's why I liked him in the first place idk . Many may take this in a bad way, that Jumin is possessive over MC and he is claiming his love for her,so that no one takes her away. NO, I knew he rushed the proposal a bit fast, because the game is designed only for 11 days and that marriage proposal screamed, " your man will be always loyal and devoted to u" . At that point, he just wants to be in your side and support during his bad days, and I am very sure, he will also help you achieve your dreams, he wants you to be happy that is all. I am also sure if MC told, that I want to more about you before marriage, he will wait for you until you are okay to marry him. I don't think he would oppose your idea

If you treat Jumin han, as a simple human being who is having a hard time to express emotions rather than a CEO, You will love him 💜 and I didn't not regret my decision for falling for him

STAN JUMIN HAN. HE DESERVES A LOT OF LOVE AND AFFECTION. 💜

Btw, I find Hana x Jumin Han ship much cuter and wholesome in the webtoon 😌

Don't come at me

[lavendertwilight89]

Untitled

For @hnnwnchstr​. Better times are ahead.

And of course there’s smoots for her :)

Here is the link to AO3

Tag wall:

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Sometimes life got him down… But he’d had hundreds of years to cope with that. His human companions, however, always seemed to take their failure harder. Even when the blame should always fall on him.

He was the strongest and oldest in the pack. It made him the alpha. Their setbacks were his own.

Yea, don’t get him wrong. He took defeat and loss hard. But there’d always be a new day. Unless you were dead. And if you lived to tell the tale, then fuck, why stay depressed about it?

What killed him more than anything though was seeing a young woman that had stolen his heart upset about anything. She blamed herself for shattering the jewel, causing all the death, destruction…

But it wasn’t her fault. Not really. Sure he blamed her, called her names, made her feel guilty about the whole mess; but in reality, it was his fault. If he hadn’t had been such a jackass to her, calling her names, making her feel ugly, being an immature asshole--she wouldn’t have run away. She wouldn’t have been caught, and the crow demon wouldn’t have gotten a hold of the jewel. Even then, if he had been more encouraging, patient, maybe they would have been able to recover the jewel together before she shot it out of the sky.

But no. He was a fucking jerk. He should have seen from the moment she crashed down in front of him when she was being chased by the nasty ass centipede that she wasn’t Kikyo. She was nothing like her in terms of spirit, spunk, demeanor, and even as time went on--she looked less and less like her. Her beauty was far more natural; just like she was. She wasn’t overbearingly poised, stiff, cold. Kagome overflowed radiance and kindness. Kikyo had been a beautiful, untouchable woman… But Kagome was gorgeous. Kind. Warm. Everything Kikyo had not been, Kagome was. 

He thought he had loved Kikyo; but he was a fool. He had no idea what love really was after traveling with Kagome. Having her care for him. Talk to him. Touch him as if he wasn’t tainted. No one had ever tried to rub his ears, hold his clawed hands, hold him when he was ready to cave in on himself… that was until Kagome came along. She made it bearable to be a half-demon in this fucked up world. She made it alright to be himself. 

Seeing her hang her head down from another destroyed village they hadn’t made it in time to save, her likely hearing Sango’s quiet comments about how she was glad she never saw her village in such disarray, Miroku’s musings about how anyone would do anything to get the jewel shards…

He wanted to fucking strangle them, but no--she wouldn’t let him. Originally he growled at them, but she soothed him and plastered her fake caring smile on her face. Then proceeded to ask him to help them lay the villagers to rest. He was hopeless to tell her no--well, after a few mutters of annoyance. He had an image to maintain, after all.

It wasn’t until into the night when the fire burned low, the stars shined brightly, and the full moon illuminated the land from high in the sky that he heard her sleeping bag ruffle. He looked down to see his delicate pale beauty look around the campsite. What was she looking for?

He caught her shift her gaze up to him. Since he was a coward, he pretended to be asleep. Some more shuffling sounds followed by footsteps had him open his eyes. Seriously, what the fuck was she doing??

Jumping from tree to tree as quietly as possible, he saw her walk out into an open field and sit. She was just gazing up at the stars…

He remembered one of the first times they did that together. The idea of staring at them was stupid--why bother? They didn’t move. They held no real purpose.

But Kagome said they learned a lot about them in her time; how they change from season to season, how they can be used for directions when they knew what season it was. Some had special names, different stories. Legends. Myths. She said after learning demons were real, who knows if those stories were actually as fictional as they had originally been meant to be?

The fascination was still slightly lost on him until she mentioned with the pollution of her time that it made them harder to see unless you were out in more ‘rural’ areas. Places without villages. Like here. She said she loved to look at them--with people who were special to her.

The speech wasn’t lost on him, even though he acted like it was. He knew he was important to her. How could he not be? She didn’t go to school as much, spent most of her time here even though she had a life on the other side of the well…

Even though she said it was to fix her mistakes, he knew that wasn’t the only reason. Or at least he had hoped it wasn’t until he heard her cry out for him when Hakudoshi held her heart.

Confirming, definitely a good piece of it belonged to him. But… he still had no idea what he could offer her? His harsh words and attitude? The fire-rat robe off his back? His father’s sword that held in his demonic blood?

She deserved to have a choice. If she did so happen to choose to stay with him once the jewel was once again complete, without knowledge of his feelings, he’d tell her. He’d build her a hut--if the village accepted them. Fuck, even if they had to live in a cave, he’d still consider himself the luckiest man in all the lands.

He’d do anything for her; and that was why he had to remain silent until there was no jewel driving her mission.

Looking at the back of her didn’t help him figure out what was wrong with her, though. The wind shifted and stirred those wavy ebony locks. Along with the scent that was so Kagome, he smelled a twinge of salt…

She was crying.

Of course she snuck away, so she didn’t wake up her friends… or him.

He jumped down from his tree and walked over to her. She didn’t flinch or move her position from staring up at the sky. Obviously she had been aware of his presence. Her power has certainly grown since she first arrived now. She could clearly pick out different reiki, youki, jyaki, and the jewel shards. 

What couldn’t his girl do? Of course he referred to her as his girl; who else would be his? Even if she happened to choose to leave, he doubted he would ever find another as giving, kind, caring, loving, and beautiful as Kagome. Maybe in a couple centuries; but even then he’d likely try and find his way back to her when she was born. See when she grew up if she’d want to try again… But he would also just be happy to be her friend. Why would he get in the way of her happiness? Of her life? He may have been a selfish bastard for now, keeping her from her friends and family, but they had a mission. He had the right to be an ass… Demand the time from her until it was over. Because God forbid she did choose to leave, he’d die from not having spent more time with her.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hey… what’s uh--what’s going on?”

“Just thinking,” she sighed, closing her eyes. Fuck. Why was she so goddamn pretty? Even sitting there, tears trickling down her flushed cheeks, hair blowing with the breeze, and he couldn’t stop looking at her. She was mesmerizing.

“Yea? Care to elaborate? Or ya just gonna keep cryin’ over nothing?” He asked as he plopped down next to her. Jerkface on. Ready to push her to fight with him so that the tears would stop. Maybe even let his face eat the dirt. After a good sit she was usually somehow in a better mood from releasing her anger.

“Sigh…” She opened her eyes and looked at the stars again before she finally shifted her eyes back to him. “I just… I’m stupid. That’s all.”

“Why you say that? You’re the one with all the book learning and crap. You’re probably one of the smarter ones out of our group,” he pointed out. Then he realized he said something nice. Fuck. He was deviating from his plan… But she just looked so broken. Damn. Shit. He had to comfort her; at least that’s what the demon demanded. The human in him was screaming to run and hide and protect her from himself.

Nice. Two very opposing sides fighting in his mind. No wonder being a confusing asshole came so naturally.

“It’s just… You all have lost so much. Some because of me, some not. But still, I feel like I let this get to me… More than it should. I’m able to go home and see my family. Separate myself from all of this and you guys--can’t. 

“I’m just pathetic for letting this get to me. I’m just so useless and.. Weak. You were right.”

Before he could think the better of it, he stretched his arm out and hugged her shoulders tightly. “No. I was wrong. So far from wrong. You’re probably the strongest out of all of us, Kagome.”

“Do-Don’t--”

“Don’t what?? Just say shit? I’m not for once. Yea, I know I don’t always think. Especially back then when we first met, first starting traveling together… I know, Kagome. I know I was an asshat. The biggest bastard of them all. I just…”

“Inuyasha, I understand,” she soothed, turning to face him. Her calves were pressed to his thigh now. Without thinking, he pulled her up into his lap. 

“Inu--”

“I’m sorry.”

“W-What??”

“Your insecurities--your fears… They’re my fault. I’m to blame.”

“No--stop. Inuyasha I understand why you said those things… It wasn’t because you meant them--not exactly, anyway. You said them out of malice. You were hurt. You were scared to be hurt again by someone who looked exactly like the woman who had literally ripped your heart in two. I get it. I learned you didn’t mean half of what you said. You just said that stuff to protect yourself…”

“Kagome…” How was it possible this woman knew him better than anyone? Was that even fair? Did he know her just as well?

“I know you had a rough life. I’ve seen it. You’ve only warned me time and time again when we’ve gone into villages, stayed out in the woods at night, hunted the jewel shards, even asked our friends to join us. I get it. In the sense that you are the way you are because of it. But I also see through to the real you. I see you for who you really are Inuyasha.”

“You don’t gotta tell me. I know you do…” His claws brushed through her hair and she started to relax further into his hold.

“Inuyasha?”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know… Am I not doing something right?”

Her giggle emerged and he felt the tension in his own body leave. Clearly he was doing okay making her feel better, “I think you’re doing just fine--you just have never… I mean you don’t usually--”

“Everyone needs a different form of comfort, Kagome. Sango usually just needs a pep talk or she needs to just not be groped by that fucking pervert. Miroku has to be joked with or threatened. Shippo… well there ain’t much that gets him down that your fuckin’ pokey won’t fix. Kirara is never sad unless she doesn’t get fish.”

“What about you? How can I--” she turned to face him and her lip snuck its way in between her teeth. “How can I comfort you?”

“By being you. You’ve stayed by my side when you shouldn’t have. You’ve held me even after I slaughtered humans without a second thought. It’s second nature to you, Kagome… You--You don’t know how grateful I am to have you here… even though I don’t show it like I should,” he mumbled the last words hoping she wouldn’t hear the mushy words exit his mouth.

“And you… comfort me how…?” Her eyes with glistening and twinkling like the damn stars. Fuck. Did he mention how beautiful she was? And how unfair her proximity fucked with his head? Was she… what was she asking for? He heard her heart beating erratically. Her face was blushing--but not from crying now. Her scent told a different story. It was one of desire. Want. Need. Fuck.

He wasn’t thinking as he leaned in and closed the distance between their mouths. His lips brushed hers lightly at first, testing to see if she would ultimately reject him like everyone else. But fuck--no, she pressed back harder. Damn; she was ruining his plans.

He pulled back slightly before the kiss got more heated and looked deeply into her lust covered eyes. Damnit. He felt a particular body part rising with her scent and the nonverbal cues she was sending out.

“Kagome--”

“Please--just for tonight--I don’t want to be second. Tomorrow we can just move on but tonight can it just be us?”

“What?” And his dick was under control again. Her words triggered something in his brain to settle the fuck down. “What do you mean ‘second’?”

“I know--I know you don’t care about me like that. And that’s okay. You don’t have to. I know you’re in love with Kikyo. I know you want the jewel. I know you want to avenge Kikyo’s death and the betrayal Naraku caused between the two of you. I get it. I understand. I just-- for tonight can it just be us? No Kikyo? No Naraku? No jewel?”

“Kagome that’s not--”

“Inuyasha--” She leaned in and tried to kiss him again but he pulled back. Here he said she was smart and she actually was the dumbest of them all…

What kind of horse shit was she spewing?

“No--what the fuck, Kagome?! You think you’re fucking second to all those things?!?!”

“Inuyasha shush! We’re not that far from--”

“Shut up! Answer me! You honestly think I put those other things first before you?!”

“Well obviously!! The minute there’s a soul collector you’re out of here! The moment you catch Naraku’s scent, you’re gone! And don’t forget why I’m even here to begin with!! I shattered the jewel! The jewel you want!!”

“Don’t give me that crap Kagome; you and I both know while yea, we kinda need help being able to see and sense the jewel shards I need you. I. Need. You. You. Not Kikyo, not Miroku, not Sango… YOU. Do you have any idea what kind of person I would be--fuck--what kind of person I was before you came along?! I only have friends because of you. I only have been trusted by villages because of you. Kagome… God you’re everything for me. You’ve given me so much without even fucking trying.

“I get I am a bastard. I know I’m an asshole through and though but come on--you have to know by now, after everything we’ve fucking been through that I want you by my side. That when you aren’t here--it’s just empty. Don’t even act like you don’t know what I do when you’re gone. I’ve heard the slayer and monk tell you. Even fucking Shippo rats me out for the right price. Kagome--how can you be so fuckin’ blind??”

“Inuyasha--”

“I’m not done talking, wench; so shut the fuck up and listen. Kikyo--Kikyo is dead. I know that. I know there honestly isn’t a way to save her. The feelings I have for her--they revolve around guilt and remorse. But even looking back at what could have been--it never would have worked Kagome. We didn’t trust each other. We were two of loneliest people in the world and drew on each other for comfort. 

“What you and I have… Fuck Kagome. Even just as friends, we have such a--shit. Kagome, I’ve never had friends. Even my only family hates my guts. You were my first friend. The first person to trust me with your life. Do you even know what that means to me??”

“Inuyasha…” Luckily she was drawn out of her little spiraling depressive shell she had put around herself. Maybe they should have had this talk years ago…

“Kagome--with Naraku--fuck. He wants to hurt me. He wants me to die mentally; physically he probably couldn’t give a shit. But he wants me to suffer for whatever reason. Do you know how he would succeed in that?”

“I--”

“By taking you away from me. Kagome--don’t you get it?”

“Inuyasha--just--just say it. Please,” she whispered.

“I love you, dumbass,” he finally said. Breathlessly. Because the air from his lungs had whooshed out of his body. Because every fucking promise he made to her, made himself just went out the window. Typical. His mouth always did end up running away from him. But he couldn’t believe she had thought she was so low on the totem pole… how could she honestly believe that he didn’t care about her? That he’d fucking use her body like that?

Mating was a serious thing in inuyoukai culture. Fuck--even in this era women didn’t typically go opening their legs to just anyone. Yea, things were different in her time but goddamn--he was not going to allow her to do that to him. To her even. If she wanted to be with him, it would be a lifetime commitment. Once he had her, he was too selfish to ever let her go.

“Inuyasha--I--”

“I’m not gonna just rut you and leave you. That’s not how this would go, Kagome. That’s not who I am. Don’t you think I have a little more honor than that? Don’t you think even as a friend I care about you more than that??”

“I’m sorry…” she said, her voice disheartened.

“Damn right you should be sorry! If we do this--this is a lifetime commitment. Not your lifetime; mine.”

“What??” She said looking up at him in shock. 

“Inuyoukai mate for life--”

“But your dad--”

“My old man rutted Sesshomaru’s mom for a powerful heir. I’m not lookin’ for someone to take over my land. Fuck--I have a fucking forest the villagers named after me in fear that I would one day wake.”

“But--”

“Yea, he mated with my mom and he died. Shit happens. But she had me to love and protect and raise. The mate bond only affects the demon in the relationship as far as if you got hurt and died, then I would. Not the inverse. What would happen for you is that it would wear off and you’d begin to age like normal.”

“Are you… Are you asking me to be your mate?”

“God, you’re slow,” he smirked lightheartedly.

She glared at him, “Inuyasha… This isn’t a joke.”

“I’m aware of that; it also isn’t a tryst.”

“Touche… So… Uhm--where--where would we live? When this was all over?”

“Whatever village would take us. Or a cave. Wilderness. Seems like the more likely option.”

“What about my era?” He gave her a look of ‘Yea--with my ears?’ “Oh, you’re-you’re right. It wouldn’t work…”

“Look, I wasn’t--I wasn’t trying to make you choose. You can take all the time you need. I wasn’t gonna say anything until the jewel was whole and we figured out what to do with it. We can just go slow--I can court you and--”

“Inuyasha; I love you too. I don’t want to ever be without you. If I didn’t want to be here, yes it would eat me up inside because I was the one who broke the jewel but I want to be with you; by your side. Kikyo could have taken my spot… If--If we had to live in a cave, forest, wherever I’d be alright. I’d still be with you.”

“Are you sure about this Kagome? There aren't any take backs on this kind of thing…”

“Now who is doubting whom?” She tilted her head frowning slightly.

“Whatever, wench,” he replied with no bite. “Forever is just a long time to not think about this. I swore I’d protect you; that includes myself. You might not realize what being mated to half-breed means.”

“I don’t understand what you mean; is there… other stuff we’d have to do or--”

“You’ll be called the demon’s bitch. The half-demon’s slut. Anything you’ve ever heard thrown at me, they’ll be hurled at you.”

“I don’t care about what people think about me. I care about what you think… Will you think those things of me?”

“Kagome!! What the fuck--?!”

“See? Of course you won’t. Neither will our friends…” She trailed off and looked slightly uncomfortable and her scent shifted.

“What are you worried about?”

“You--You may not love Kikyo like you used to… but--”

“Sigh… it’s been a long time coming for that conversation. She does know how I feel about you. That’s another reason she doesn’t press to travel with us. The last time we met, she had asked if I had told you yet, that was awkward,” he said blushing, letting his ears fall flat on his head. The embarrassment was worth it when he heard laugh lightly and felt her cold hand on his ear. Fuck. He secretly loved it when she would just brush his ears in passing. But it seemed the secret was out… Because an unbridled rumble erupted from his chest. Damnit.

“Are you purring?” She asked, smiling mischievously.

“NO! I DO NOT PURR!”

“Sure--sure,” she agreed with undeniable amusement laced in her voice as she continued to rub his ears. Feeling the other effects it was having on him, he reached up and paused her ministrations.

“You’re--You’re gonna have to stop.”

“Why?” Oh, poor sweet innocent Kagome… He conveyed a face that hopefully told her what he honestly didn’t want to confess out loud. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure the piece of anatomy that was now poking into her side. It had the inverse effect though; her scent spiked again.

Fuck she was like a drug. He already knew he had no hope in separating from her; but she obviously held no reservations. She wanted what he did. Even more so maybe. She had been willing to just have him for a night. Claiming she was being the selfish one. Bullshit. If anyone was selfish, it was him.

He slowly leaned in again but paused just a breath away to wait for her to close the distance. While he was selfish, he wanted this to ultimately be her choice. He had already made his. It was her. Always her.

Luckily, or thankfully, whichever it was, she closed the gap between them and kissed him. Fuck he was a goner. He loved her. Everything about her. From her eyes, to her voice, to her sweet honey flavored tongue shoved into his mouth brushing against his fangs, her breasts he was squeezing through her sleep shirt, her kind personality, her overflowing love-- he could go on and on. 

When she pulled back he was taken by surprise, which wasn’t an easy feat. Especially when her legs were straddling his hips. He opened his eyes which he hadn’t even realized had closed and saw her shred her pink tank top that had already barely contained her large round mounds.

From the time she had first come to his era to now Kagome had grown from a girl to a woman. She was now eighteen and her figure was more apparent, more enticing and womanly. While she was still a head shorter than he was, her bust had grown, her hips had expanded in preparation for bearing children, muscles were developed from years of running, walking, fighting, and fuck best of all, her gorgeous blue eyes just seemed to have gotten darker to match the ocean she loved to visit. That was one of her favorite places to go when they had a moment and while he bitched, he secretly loved taking her there to explore.

Without thinking, because when did he ever, he swallowed her nipple whole and swirled his tongue around it until he felt it point from excitement. Once he thoroughly ravished one side, he moved to the other. He felt her nimble fingers untying the strings to his haori and aided her in her efforts to remove it. Once she started to shove it down his arms, he pulled away and laid down his kosode and robe of the fire rat. He turned back to her and twisted to lay her down upon the makeshift bed he had made.

After she was fully on her back, he started kissing her again, his hands restless as they studied every curve she possessed more thoroughly than he had with his eyes. Even though their mouths were battling for dominance, his ears caught every sigh, moan, and gasp her voice made. 

Once his hands hit the waistline of her pants, she stilled him. Shifting beneath him, she encouraged him to remove her pants. Who was he to refuse what she desired?

Once her pants and underwear were pulled down, he acted without thinking and moved his mouth down her body. Without his mouth swallowing her moans he soon realized how loud she was. He smirked at the idea of seeing how far he could push her--to see what would come out of that smart mouth of hers.

He reached her raven curls and nudged her legs apart. She hesitated slightly and he looked up to see nervousness in her eyes. Swiftly he moved back to look directly into her eyes and grasped her face in his hands as he straddled her.

“You’re beautiful, Kagome. You’re mine. We don’t have to continue though--we can stop and go slowly.”

“N-No. Sorry--I just-- I was kind of nervous about how I smell. It’s been a little bit since we’ve hit a hot spring or river to bathe off in,” she said bashfully.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her reasonings, “Oh Kagome. Trust me; you smell like a fucking buffet. I can’t wait to taste you.” He licked his lips teasingly as he watched her flush and swallow. He kissed her again hard to try and coax out the woman who originally pleaded to take her for one night. That confidence was what she needed. 

Once she was fervent in her kisses again, he dove back down to what his instincts were calling for; a taste of her nether regions. That time when he reached it she didn’t fight him when he spread her legs and laid between them. He initially shoved his nose between her folds. He was slightly tickled by the black hairs that hid her sex from him but fuck, if it was pleasureable with the scent that was so Kagome surrounding every inch of him. He dipped his tongue into her lips and goddamn--he almost lost consciousness. It was better than he had ever fucking dreamed of. 

He may have gone a little mad with arousal when he dove in and began eating her out. Control was something he obviously lacked as he lapped up her juices and explored every inch of her sex with his mouth. Not that she seemed like she was complaining at all. No, if anything the cry of his name, the writhing of her body from the sensations he was giving her, and her grabbing his head (thankfully not his ears) pulling him closer only made him want to dive in more. 

She had a nub that seemed to really make her wail out louder when he played with that. He decided to focus on that area, thinking he teased her enough, especially from her begging him brokenly for--well he assumed completion. But she didn’t direct him to verbally do anything, only push his head to the nub. Again, who was he to tell her no?

He carefully took two fingers and placed them slightly at her opening, still not confident enough to insert them without some practice, and teased her. She seemed like she was losing her mind in the throes of passion. To be fair, so was he. He was grinding himself on the fucking grass to eleviate some of the pain of his hardened cock.

He realized she was coming when she yelled out his name and her body released more liquid onto his fingers, which he happily licked up. Once she had stilled from her convulsions, he slunk his way back up her body and laughed deeply at her blissed out expression.

“Inuyasha that was--”

“I got just as much out of it as you did--if not more,” he smirked and leaned down to kiss her. She hungirly accepted and reached for his hakama ties. He didn’t stop her and felt her foot come up and hook around it to help ease it down. Without removing his mouth from hers, he kicked off his pants and then hovered over her briefly to just take in the moment. Her flushed cheeks, the glistening sweat on her forehead, the glazed-over look of lust in her dark blue eyes…

“I love you, Inuyasha,” she told him as he sank himself down over her body and lined himself up to enter her.

He kissed her soundly as he dipped his tip to her entrance and his hair fell around them to envelope them in a silver curtain of privacy. As she wrapped her arms around him and spread her legs wider to open herself more to him, he whimpered. The tight heat that consumed his throbbing hardened cock was literally something he never thought he would feel; even in his dream he had never felt so much desperation. But he refused to move in fear of hurting her further.

"Inuyashaaa,” she moaned once he was fully seated inside of her.

“Are you alright?” He asked through gritted teeth. Fuck, he wasn’t a teenager anymore but at this rate he was gonna--

“Yes; stretched but-- it’s like we belong together. You fit perfectly,” she sighed as she brushed her fingers through his hair out of his face to look into his eyes.

She was right though. They did belong together. Then. There. Forever.

He was tentative when he first started pumping inside her but her cries and panting encouraged him. While she said she loved him for who he was, he was still scared he may hurt her. But her mews, pleas for more, and movements from her hips to return his thrusts, fuck, his bitch was amazing.

“Inu-Ya--” she said brokenly as those beautiful sapphire orbs closed and she whimpered.

He ground his hips in circles and brushed his pelvis against her sensitive clit, earning a high pitched cry, “What do you want Kagome? Do you want to be fucked by a demon?”

“Y-yes,” she pleaded using her hands to pull him by his hips closer if that was even possible. He pulled away and she whined, trying to pull him back, but once she figured out what he was doing she moaned his name in impatience.

He threw her legs upon his shoulders and reentered her hard. His cock was in deeper now, his hand was free from holding her leg close to his waist. He reached around and started pinching her very stimulated nub. She began mewling uncontrolablly and it was fucking glorious. To hear such pleasures he was bringing her only made his cock harder if that was even possible.

“Is that what you want Kagome?? To be with a demon?”

“Ahhhh,” she cried as he felt her walls tighten around him. God. Damn. “Yashhhhh,” she ground out flailing her head back and forth. Her breasts were bouncing with every hard and quick pound he gave her. His dick was just at the tip of her womb and he silently thanked Kami she wasn’t in fucking heat otherwise this night would have ended very differently.

He dipped his head to her ear and exhaled making her writhe further under him, “Are you gonna cum for me, Ka-Go-Me?”

“Gods--” he heard her swear before she wailed out her release into the night. Riding out her orgasm it took everything not to explode right then. He slowly eased himself back between her spread legs and sat her up. She was fucking gorgeous; her face was still glistening in sweat, her breathing was starting to calm from her orgasm but still audible to his demonic hearing--scratch that, even a mortal would be able to her her subtle groan and sigh, and her hair was wilder than normal. 

He cradled the back of her head to bring her into a kiss as he pumped into her before he couldn’t stave off his own release any longer. He broke the kiss when he felt his youki rising, his fangs growing--

Her hands brushing his cheeks and her accepting eyes calmed his initial panic. She pulled his face to be at her shoulder; she was silently asking him to mark her. He didn’t even mention that to her; he needed to make a note to thank Sango for likely educating her about mating behind his back.

His fangs bit down into her shoulder and she winced at the initial pain but relaxed into it as he spilled his seed inside her. Once he was completely drained, he unclamped his jaw and laved the spot on her neck he had marked then gave it a kiss. She was his. Forever.

“Kagome?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve never been better,” she said, taking his face into her hands again as she leaned in to kiss him.

“I meant--about you coming out here--”

“Oh… Yes and no. I think there’ll always be rougher days; but I have you to lean on. We’ll make it through together.”

He smiled and nuzzled her cheek as he wrapped her up in his haori. He threw his hakama back on along with his kosode and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Keeping her close, he just allowed her to snuggle into his chest for comfort over the long and tiring day. Her breathing evened out but he didn’t dare move. He wanted this moment to last forever.