#this is not a “black washing” thing because that doesn't fucking exist

[anime-villian-irl]

You know what we should do with the Harry Potter reboot? THROW IT INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN AND THEN NEVER FISH IT OUT! TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL WITH IT!

[cosmicalily]

'real love baby' with stray kids, ot8 headcanons by @cosmicalily

author's note: i absolutely adore this song by father john misty; i think it's the sweetest love song and just so prettily written. i wanted to do headcanons kind of similar to my 'everything is romantic' ones, where instead of just going off typical love languages and tropes (which are beautiful in their own way!), i kind of make up my own and unique scenarios for each! hope you enjoy! warnings: angst in hyunjin's, jisung's, and seungmin's (reasonably mild)

Chris, who loves you adoringly.

It was quiet in your apartment when you got home, although you knew that Chris would most definitely not be asleep. However, you walked through slowly and silently, just in case he was doing something important. Suddenly, you walked into a firm, black tank-top clad chest and squealed. A bouquet of roses dropped to the floor, petals falling everywhere. “I’m sorry, I was trying to be sneaky,” You sighed, shifting your sock across the petals. “Were these for me?” “No, they were for Han Jisung,” Chris deadpanned, then burst out giggling. “Of course they were. Although they’re a bit fucked up now. Sorry, baby.” You smiled at him. “That’s okay. What was the occasion, anyway? It’s not anywhere near our anniversary or my birthday or anything.” “Nothing. Just wanted to remind you that you’re a cute girl who deserves cute stuff like this, and that I love you.”

Minho, who loves you quietly.

When you come home from a girls’ night out, Minho doesn’t like to immediately approach you at the door. Instead, he stays where he is, sitting upright in bed, phone on his bedside table. He watches you as you undo your hair, take off your dress and put on your pyjamas. He watches you in the bathroom mirror, wiping off your makeup and washing your face. When you’re done, you come to him in bed, and it’s then that he pulls you onto his lap, slipping his hands around your waist and kissing you softly. It’s the moments like this that the two of you crave, the little pockets of quiet amongst your chaotic lives. And that’s where you’ll stay, cosy against each other, minimal words exchanged. Because he can’t ever find any that fully expresses the warmth he feels for you, the love in his eyes as he observes you simply existing. “Hold me,” is all he mumbles, and that’s exactly what you do.

Changbin, who loves you loudly.

“Doesn't my girlfriend look beautiful today?” Changbin asks, gesturing towards you. You’re pretty sure you’ve heard this exact question seven times now, said to each of the boys, and you’re not even that dressed up. However, to Changbin, in a simple pink sweater and loose jeans, you’re the equivalent of a Victoria’s Secret Angel, wings, halo and all.  “This feels like a trick question. If I say yes, you’re gonna punch me. If I say no, you’ll do the same,” Chris sighs, but offers you a smile. “I like the sweater.” “Thanks,” you reply, lightly shoving your boyfriend. “Changbin, sweetheart, that’s enough. Talk to them about other things. It’s boring otherwise.” “You’re not boring! You’re all I ever want to talk about,” he pouts, and you giggle.

Hyunjin, who loves you intensely.

Sometimes Hyunjin feels like he’s too much for you. At times, in between his dramatic statements, sweet pieces of poetry and watercolour paintings, he feels a tiny bit of fear. Fear that all his romantic gestures simply overwhelm you. When he gets himself into this fragile headspace, it’s you that returns his passionate love, reminding him that it’s the reason you fell for him in the first place. Carrying a huge bouquet of flowers, you confront your boyfriend, who is sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone. He’s been quiet today. “Flowers for you, pretty boy,” you declare, thrusting the bouquet into his arms. “I also sent you the link to a playlist of songs I want to play at our wedding, and there’s wine in the kitchen.” “Baby…when I do things like this for you, it’s not too much, is it? I’m not too much for you?” he asks, placing the flowers on the floor and reaching for your waist. “Never. You could never be, Hyune.”

Jisung, who loves you softly. 

You’d been best friends with Jisung since the beginning of high school, and dating since the end. He was your other half, someone who’d been with you since the start and who you knew would stay until the end. You were both fragile at times; him with his anxiety and you with your melancholia. There were days that were tough, times where you both needed endless support and validation just to make it to the end. Today, you lay in the bath, your body numb, head hurting. You weren’t in a good headspace, and Jisung knew this when he approached you gently. “Do you want me to rub your shoulders, baby?” he’d asked softly, running the pad of his thumb across your eyes where the tears brimmed. “Yes please,” you’d mumbled in response, and he kissed the tip of your nose.

Felix, who loves you warmly.

Felix would see the two of you in everything, from an old couple drinking tea to a pair of marshmallow keychains. He loved you more than he thought was possible, in ways that made his heart feel fit to bursting. It brought him a rush of excitement and joy, something he carried with him throughout the day. His favourite time with you was the mornings; the sunlight from the open window pouring into the room, casting a yellow glow. You always woke up before him, leg thrust across his, forehead pressed against his neck, pressing soft kisses to the warm skin. “Morning, sweet girl,” he’d murmur, voice groggy. “Did you sleep well?” “Dreamt of you,” you’d reply chirpily, and he’d giggle. He hoisted your body off his, laying you on your back. Pressing a kiss to your forehead, his hands travelled to your waist, before he tickled the soft skin.

Seungmin, who loves you unconditionally.

It had not been an easy day for you. On top of your hormones, a full day at work and having not seen your boyfriend for a week while he’d been filming overseas, you’d just remembered you had an assignment due that evening at midnight. When Seungmin came through the door, eyes bright and smile wide, excited to see you, you threw yourself at him, bursting into tears. He pulled you in close and tight, letting you cry into his shoulder. He didn’t know what had happened, whether you were upset or angry or stressed, but he held you, because he didn’t mind. Your body relaxed against his a little, and you pulled away, eyes puffy. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “I’m such a mess.” “Don’t be,” he replied honestly, and kissed your cheek softly. “You breathed today. That’s enough to be proud of.”

Jeongin, who loves you sweetly. 

You and Jeongin’s love for fashion was what had sparked your relationship in the first place; you’d met him on Depop of all places, purchasing a leather jacket he didn’t wear enough. He’d asked for your Instagram so he could see pictures of you in ‘his baby’, and as a result, your crush had blossomed. Now, he didn’t have to sell you his clothes; they were in his wardrobe, free for you to grab whenever he wanted. And he encouraged it, because he loved seeing you in them. He’d also often buy pieces for you that he thought you’d like. “I found this skirt in the vintage shop down the road,” he’d said, pulling out a plaid miniskirt. “It’s like the one I saw saved on your Pinterest board.” “Baby, that is the one saved on my Pinterest board,” you’d gasped, staring at the skirt in shock. “It’s also Vivienne Westwood. I don’t even want to know how much it cost you.” “Then I won’t tell you,” he replied plainly, smiling. “Go try it on. You’ll look adorable.”

[urfavleo777]

warnings: age gap, tattoo artist! colby x reader, alcohol

"Angel's wings!" your best friend exclaims, speaking completely seriously. Your other friend approves, clapping her hands eagerly. "Get them tattooed!"

You almost choke on your drink when you hear how seriously Katrina gives you a new idea for your first tattoo. If someone told you that friendship between three people doesn't exist, you would laugh at them. The three of you are living proof that it's not the number of people in the group that matters, but the love that exists between you. Each of you is different, but that is the most beautiful thing. There is nothing worse than boredom and monotony in friendship.

"Come on, you'll be eighteen in an hour. Do something that will make you happy, not your parents." Sophia, usually the voice of reason, tries to convince you.

You don't know if it's the alcohol you just drank, but in a split second you undergo an internal transformation. You'll be of age in an hour. No one will be able to lecture you. Even your parents who, instead of spending this birthday time with their daughter, decided to go to the mountains. At first you reacted with sadness, but over time you were glad that the situation had turned out this way because you could invite your two favorite girls over for the night.

Katrina and Sophia look at you with impatient eyes, encouraging you to make a quick decision. You take a deep breath, tilting your head back. As pathetic as it sounds, you try your hardest to get advice from the ceiling.

You look back at your waiting friends. They send drunken glances your way, which only reinforces the fact that you must probably look like one of them at this point. Sophia and Katarina's eyes widen. Something unexpected is about to happen; something that will change the course of history forever.

Katarina clenches her fists like a true boxing legend, preparing for the worst possible scenario. With each subsequent inhalation, you feel even more excitement and arousal wash over you. You open your mouth to announce the official verdict.

"If not now, never, right?"

After saying these words, you're crushed under the bodies of these two freaks. And, you swear to yourself that if your parents had been home, after all those squeals of happiness, you would have ended up under a bridge.

"The best decision you've ever made, Y/n! I'm so proud," Sophia squeals excitedly, and Katrina joins in. You realize that you still hold the glass in your hand. You hiss, knowing that you'll definitely need to change the sheets of your bed after tonight. "Don't worry about it! Let's go to the tattoo artist!"

"Now?" you keep mumbling under their bodies.

Katrina and Sophia step away from you, exchanging meaningful glances with each other. You are finally able to catch your breath, but you don't really understand what they're trying to tell you.

"Yes. Now." Sophia grins. "Katrina, are you thinking about the same person as me?"

The friend nods her head in response, also with a big grin on her face.

"Oh, yeah! The handsomest, hottest and most expensive tattoo artist in town," she starts counting and you wonder why you've never heard of him before. "Y/n, we guarantee you the best fucking fun."

"Let's fucking do this!" They both squeal, grabbing your hands and pulling you out of the bed.

***

"You guys didn't even give me a chance to change clothes!"

You are wearing a black body suit and really low rise jeans so people on the street can see a bit of skin, which makes you feel a little uncomfortable.

"You look great." Sophia assures you and Katrina nods to her. Well, they're wearing perfectly balanced sweaters compared to you. They decided to make you the main star without outshining you with clothes. You feel like standing out of the crowd, which you don't like very much.

"Do you think this tattoo artist will accept us without prior consultation?" you ask, genuinely curious. "Maybe we should call him? We'd better get back home..."

"Relax, Y/n," you turn into a street you've probably never been to. Katrina tries to convince you, but with each step you take, you become less and less sure. Even though your parents have well-paid jobs, they usually don't let you hang around the rich districts. They would be disappointed if they knew that while they were away their daughter was getting a tattoo, not really knowing where.

"You said he was an expensive tattoo artist. I don't think I want to spend money this way." You continue, feeling the alcohol drain from you. You regain consciousness and regret saying yes to your friends. "Maybe we should really turn back?"

"Y/n," you stop in front of a building emanating LED light. The girls move closer to you and one of them puts a hand on your shoulder. Sophia, the fucking voice of reason, says: 

"He is my brother's friend. They have been friends since childhood. He practiced on my brother, making the first patterns. He would never take money from me or my friends. We are always out of line. Trust me, you're in good hands."

"He was the one who gave me that big tattoo you liked so much," finishes Katrina.

You sigh, trying to convince yourself first and foremost. Sophia pulls out her phone and brings it closer to your face.

The first thing that catches your eye are the huge white numbers on the screen. What's more, they don't seem blurry at all. You must be really sober. You take a deep breath, recalling the quote of your favorite teacher in your head.

12:00. Carpe diem.

 "It's time to go fucking crazy, Y/n." 

***

"Sophia? What's for today?" It’s a male voice. Raspy, yet soft. The sound of it makes you whip your head over to your friends, but you're trying to stay calm. He lets out a heavy sigh before humming to himself in thought. Only after a while he notices that Sophia is not alone. "And who is this?"

"Hello, Colby. Meet Y/n, your new client." 

And the way he shakes your hand is firm but gentle, not as hard as you think it'd be given the size of his biceps probably are larger than your head. But then he softly grips your elbow and guides you into the chair with a hand on your back. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

"Well, I thought I would have to convince you.. longer."

You flush a little under his gaze because he's noticed how you're shaking like a leaf next to him. And the way he smiles indicates he might enjoy biting you anyways... and maybe you'd let him. 

"I was just about to close, but you know perfectly well that I will always make an exception for you, Sophia." Your friend smiles at his words.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" he focuses all his attention on you. You swallow, not really knowing what to answer. Katrina decides to save your ass from total embarrassment.

"Angel's wings." 

He looks like he's about to roll his eyes.

"Seriously, I can't count how many girls asked me for the exact same pattern. Try something more creative."

"I'd like to stick with the wings, please. In a place invisible to the eye."

"Getting a tattoo so you don't show it to anyone? How old are you anyway?"

"Eighteen." He doesn't look convinced. With one movement of your hand, you pull your ID from your back pocket. Colby, as you can guess, surprised by the concrete, grabs the ID in his hand and looks at it carefully.

"She's so young." When he talks about you in the third person, something happens to you. "Are you sure you want those fucking wings?"

"Come on, Colby. You did this to my brother many times." Sophia interjects. "Don't ruin her birthday."

"Ah, yes. Happy birthday or something." You can tell he’s in a good mood based on the playful amusement in his voice. 

"Thanks," you hang your head.

"We have to do something about her shyness." he turns to your friends.

"Maybe wings between her tits? I bet no girl has ever asked for this," suggests Katrina. You almost choke on your saliva. You want to get up from that chair and run out.

"That sounds perfect." His voice is sweet with a touch of flirtiness, and you swear you can hear the smile in it. "What do you think, Y/n?"

"There's no way I'm going to show you my tits." You take courage. Colby laughs loudly. He clearly takes pleasure in your attitude and shakes his head, leaning in to watch you.

"It's your choice." You bite at your lip instead of answering him. 

"Come on, Y/n. We won't look either." Katrina says and Sophia nods.

You've already succumbed to them once in a while. Nothing will stop you from doing it again.

The girls send you their last kisses. After a while, it's just you and your tattoo artist left in the room.

***

You're honestly glad when the uncomfortable silence is drowned out by the song "Ultraviolence" by Lana Del Rey. You asked to simply turn on the radio, but you were surprised when Colby asked you for the title. What was even weirder was when he used the fucking vinyl of one of your favorite albums instead of Spotify.

He hums to himself. "Those are nice."

You got rid of your bra. No one has ever complimented your boobs, but you smile slightly, burying your face in your hands.

He gives you a little wink before stenciling what you had in mind, his fingertips tracing the lines of the ink that leaves goosebumps across your skin.

There's a lingering feeling as he pulls his hand back. You think he's toying with you. Frightful little thing, you are and here he is wanting to play with his pretty little client. Next thing you know, his hand is around your throat.

You tense and realize that he has moved some of your hair to the other side to give more access to the space between your tits. It definitely could have been done easier and better, but the twinkle in his eyes said he did it on purpose. Oh yes, he was definitely having fun with you. The way his hand barely grazed your throat and the side of your neck before he would gently scratch your arm with his blunt nails and pull away.

He let's out a huff of quiet laughter and then gets his tools ready. "So, y/n, you have a safeword?"

And you're brought out of your thoughts about his large hands because... "Huh?"

"A safeword. It's big."

W..what's big? You can't stop your eyes from flitting down to his thighs and what may lie between them. He laughs and shifts so your eyes are instantly back up and staring at his eyes that glimmer in amusement.

"The tattoo, I mean. It's a big piece. Need to know if it'll be too much, yeah?"

[passivenovember]

Steve's never tried a weed brownie before.

Hasn't really wanted to, if he's honest, because the rag-weed shit he gets from Tommy all throughout high school is fine. Even though it's mostly shake and stems and seeds, and the bag Tommy puts it in always looks like it's been mauled by Scotty, his 15 year old schnauzer.

It has to be the same bag, Steve thinks, but maybe that's the 20 minute high talking.

So he's never tried a brownie.

But. Billy Hargrove comes into his life like a storm cloud. Black and gray with impending doom, snagging the air around him with little fish weights until everything is heavy. At first.

But. Then Steve makes him laugh once during a game of shirts and skins, and. It's like the belly of the thing has ripped open, y'know, and the streets of the thing flood with rainwater, and all that existed before is washed down some swallowing, insatiable gutter along with mulch and twigs and the shaky belief that Steve's straight.

They're friends and Steve watches Billy laugh and smile, feels all ten fingers against his chest when Billy shoves him, some sort of atomical reaction to Steve making him laugh, and.

Steve can't believe he ever thought Heaven was in Nancy Wheeler's pants.

--

So.

Billy Hargrove is the Earth after the flood, and the ark carrying everyone to safety. He's the animals inside and the God that sits, watching the world swallow itself.

He feeds things, to Steve.

Lines. You got a really pretty mouth, Harrington. You're smart, you know that? Not. Book smart, but street smart. Dirt road intelligent, I guess, in this shitty fuckin' Hickville hellscape--

Feeds Steve art. That's Samuel Baruch. He's my favorite. Look how he paints cloth, how he tracks the divets and the folds and the shadows. It's like a photo. It's like a window--

Steve makes Billy laugh when he says, "That lady kind of looks like you." Feels all ten fingers on his arm, pushing, when he says, "You'd look cute in a bonnet." Steve nearly falls over. Almost goes easy, but he doesn't.

Billy grabs him. Holds him as he smirks, "Where the fuck would I find a bonnet?"

Steve looks around the art hall, eyes wide and owlish, "Indiana?" He says, out there. In here. And.

Billy stares at him. He's the canvas and the lady in her bonnet, the divets and the folds and the shadows, the artist himself when he wets his thumb and sticks it in Steve's ear. "Dumbass," He says.

Steve finally gets everyone's thing about art.

He snaps a mental image of the afternoon and tries not to smother it in his hands.

--

So.

Steve. His eyes open, bit by bit. And what he finds is blinding. Like he fell asleep in the back of his mother's station wagon and awoke to the screaming light of high noon.

Billy's like the sun, longer Steve knows him. Storm clouds be damned.

Like. He talks about art. And he feeds lines and compliments for shits and giggles, never really noticing that Steve falls for it, a dumb catfish stuck on Billy's sharp, unforgiving hook.

He does all that but he smokes. Weed and cigarettes. He drinks.

He takes Steve to parties and says, "Ever try this before, Bambi?" But it's just Jack Daniels. But. Billy leaning with his elbow on the wall next to Steve's neck, close enough that he can smell Billy's sweat and cologne. He's smiling and his lips are cherry red, rio red, and.

He wants to roll in it.

So. He says, "No," Because, "I haven't."

It's the truth.

So Billy feeds it to him right out of the bottle. Makes him get on his knees. Slaps Steve's wrists away when he tries to hold the vessel himself, because.

Something's happening. Here. There.

Steve stares up at Billy through his eyelashes, trying not to go blind.

--

He blacks out and wakes up in the face of some bitch in a red bikini.

He's still drunk, so it takes him longer than it should to realize she's a poster tacked to somebody's, and he's not at home, and someone's snoring on the rug next to him.

Steve wiggles his toes. Fingers. Tries to remember what happened after Billy's hair caught the dining room lamplight but it's all a blur of sea stone eyes and bright white teeth and all ten fingers, rubbing at him while he threw up under the four way stop on Douglas Street.

Steve groans.

He rolls onto his side and tucks into himself and falls asleep, hoping Billy got home okay.

--

It's silver when a warm, flat palm shakes him alive. "You gotta go," Someone says, their voice rough like flannel bed sheets.

Steve blinks up, into the silver light, and sees Billy. Considers padding from the mattress to sleep inside of Billy's throat, where he'll be warm. It's a familiar urge. It's entirely new.

Steve aches. "What time--"

"--Just before five. My dad gets up early for work," Billy says, like that's supposed to mean castles are crumbing in their kingdom, but he's staring at something on Steve' face.

Really puts things into perspective, because maybe it's supposed to be an emergency. The first wisps of smoke from a forest fire, but Billy has bed head. And pillow lines on his face. And he's looking at Steve like there's something stuck in his throat.

Steve rubs at himself, trying to clear exhaustion and embarrassment. Really, just rubbing it into himself like lotion. "It's Saturday." He says.

"We're poor," Billy tells him, "My dad--"

"Where am I?"

Billy stares at him for a moment and then chuckles, shaking his head, "With me," He mutters.

Steve wants to curl into it like a cat.

--

He's rushed out of the room. He has to climb through the window while Billy keeps watch like a guard dog, and Steve lands on his ankle funny so it isn't until later when he's showered and hung over and falling onto his own mattress that he realizes Billy was in a panic.

That was Billy panicking, like Steve gets when his dad tells him to clean his room before he gets home from work, but Steve was full of concrete and wouldn't do it. Just like that, but worse.

Steve tosses and turns and tries to decipher what there was to be panicked about. Billy's room was clean.

Not just clean but spotless, like someone took a billow pad soaked in bleach and scrubbed every wall and baseboard until nothing remained except that bitch in her red bikini.

The only witness to Steve crawling out through an open window.

--

The more he thinks about it the more it feels like an episode of The Twilight Zone.

He combs through the memory of waking up in Billy's room. He tries to piece together hazy, half-baked image of beige carpet and the bookshelf and the little makeshift vanity that housed all of Billy's hair products.

Steve searches for a spot of the boy he knows. He calls Samuel Baruch's name and hears it shatter against empty, maroon-colored walls and the bikini girl's airbrushed rack.

He tries to envision a wayward sock, left out in the cold. A cup of water on the bedside table. Used tissues on the bedsheets.

Anything.

Steve blinks around his own room and wonders if clutter is a luxury only afforded to boys in houses paid by Monday through Friday workweeks.

He tries to imagine Billy in that room inside the house on Cherry Lane, happy, sleeping until noon in his own boyhood nest while his father gets ready for work.

It sits heavy in Steve's chest. A fairytale.

--

So.

Billy asks him during homeroom on Monday if he's ever had a weed brownie. Really, he scribbles it on a note and has Mary Sandoval stick it under Steve's elbow on her way to the bathroom.

Steve presses the note open on his desk until it's delicately wrinkled, mulling the question over in his mind. He spent the weekend driving himself crazy trying to come up with a reason to invite Billy over, a nook to slip into so he can ask the hard questions.

This could be it.

Steve peeks over his shoulder, flushing pink when Billy wags his tongue.

He has a black eye.

Steve snaps like a piece of rotted driftwood. He turns back to the note and scribbles no, but I'll try one if you have it. Has Mary take it back with her.

Figures. Billy should see his room. Steve should open his eyes.

--

"Why does it smell like that?"

"Like what, pretty boy?"

"Like. Gasoline."

Billy tilts his head back, laughter shooting like fireworks against Steve's ceiling, "It's just the dope. It's how it smells when you bake it into the--"

"--I don't like it."

"Why not?"

"I just think brownies are supposed to smell like chocolate," Steve says, handing the bag over with a wrinkled nose, "It's not a very appetizing smell."

"It's just weed."

"Weed smells gross, too."

"You don't like weed?"

"No, I just--"

"--We don't have to do the edibles if you don't want--"

"--I want to," Steve tells him. "Please." Instead of I'd do anything you asked me to. You're the influence my grandma warned me about. You're the lighter and the cigarette and the smoke in my lungs. Getting me high.

Billy nods, "Since you asked so nicely," and severs the baggy, tearing the first brownie in half.

"Woah," Steve says, embarrassed, "I know I've never had one before but I think I can do more than half."

"They're strong."

"I'm strong too," Steve says. When Billy blinks at him, confused, Steve flexes.

The noise Billy makes is like a duck getting run over by a clown car. It reverberates off the walls and Steve aches to stand and chase it. "You can always start out small and take more if you need to, hot rod."

Steve crosses his arms over his chest. "How strong are they?"

Billy shrugs, fiddling with the chewed plastic lip of the bag. "I kissed a boy on half," He says.

It's the first time since Billy came to town that he won't stretch to meet Steve's gaze.

Steve takes the bag from him and shoves the brownie into his mouth, coughing over the dry exterior.

"Easy, man, easy," Billy smacks him between the shoulder blades, grinning and rubbing his back once Steve swallows.

[evilminji]

God you know what would be FUNNY af? More "I already YOLO'd, fuckers. I see no God here but me an my new buddy The Force" SI-OC?

There's... there is the Fuckin FORCE NEXUS. Just? RIGHT THERE? Reality HAS to get unimaginably FUCKY and melty at the seams, around it? Horrific for people would HAVENT been through the Souls Car Wash as it were... but, like?

Eh. Tingly.

Feels a bit like being dead. She can taste the abstract concept of philosophical debate and the first strands of dawn. Air smells a bit purple. This is fiiiine. She and the Force are HANGING! You LITERALLY could not be closer to it outside of shrugging off your meat suit!

Aaaaay, BESTIE! She brought better meditation cushions and a swiffer. It is DUSTY down here! So~ how things? Any dead people wanna chat? Wanna watch a sunrise on a planet that stopped existing eons ago, literal galaxies away? Oh hey! Thanks for the space rock. It blurbles ominously.

Just? Yes. TECHNICALLY. "All things are possible in the Force".

But just because a NUCLEAR REACTION IS POSSIBLE? Doesn't mean it's a great idea to SIT NEXT TO IT. Child! P-Please! Back away from the thing we LITERALLY BUILT A TEMPLE TO CONTAIN.

ALL absolutes are harmful.

Yes. Even "good", even "helpful", even the "light". They as JEDI know this. Unlike SITH, they? Are not so foolish as to believe ANYONE can channel or harness a NEXUS. Absolute GOOD will kill you just as surely as Absolute evil. Do not loose yourself. And for the love of all that's precious?

Don't! Poke! Force! Anomalies!!!

Again... meh. What's the worst that'll happen? She DIES? Is LOST? Oh noooo. Not RETURNING to the Force! AGAIN! Peacefully avoiding the horrors to come! That would be AWFUL! *continues to gossip with the nexus*

Of course, this? This is fucking horrifying.

That is a youngling! Next to the ACTIVE FORCE NUKE.

Dear FUCK every moment the child sits there? It could be SCRAMBLING HER DNA for FUNSIES! But it ALSO feels like hundreds of jet engines in their head! T-they can't?! Get close enough? To grab her? Hold ON small breakable child! Help is COMING!

SOME ONE GET THE COUNCIL. NOW.

No we DO NOT care what they were doing! Baby! IN DANGER! This is clearly a priority! (And I mean? Shit... you right. They'll be there in 5)

Force maybe be "clouded"? But a cloud, dense enough? Is just a body of water suspended. And the NEXUS? Is like SWIMMING. A flood. The Force COULD NOT be clearer there. It's deafening, consuming, one might even say... less then subtle.

Yoda probably does the OPPOSITE of something helpful and just... plops on down next to her. Accepts the offered snack she holds out. Asks casually why she down here. Just two bros, a Grandmaster and Crecheling, two completely equal Jedi in the eyes of the Force, sitting watching the Pretty Colors at the edge of a reverse Black Hole.

Master Yoda, NO!

What? Did they expect him to use force? By the ear, drag this youngling, perhaps? Hmmm? How would that fix anything. The child would simply return. Stopping her ONCE will not address your concerns. There must be a dialog. You must be heard. Your fears laid to rest. The youngling must UNDERSTAND. Teachable moment!

The various knights, masters, CRECHE MASTERS and Council members? Do? NOT AGREE. Ha ha. Oh Force. Baby in a radioactive, currently inactive, meat grinder! Heart palpitations! Can't EVEN RELEASE THEIR FEAR INTO THE FORCE! Because it'll JUST SPIT RIGHT BACK INTO THEIR FACE.

.....OC would like these people to stop crashing her hangout. But is refusing to STOP her hang out, now, mostly out of spite. Well... that, AND? It's actually pretty great that most of the Order? Is getting LITERALLY FORCE BASTED CLEAN?

Like getting your soul pressure washed.

BEGONE Darksider gunk!

Does it leave you feeling a lil woozy and hyper-aware? Overly sensitive? Headache-y like a motherfucker? Yeah. But that's the crude matter, my gender non specific dudes. The Nexus has always been more of a "oh shit! We're losing um! CLEAR!" Sort of measure, then a "you should take this rigorous round of medicine and then meditate" Sort of measure.

Not that it's WISE. It's just as likely to eat folks. Just... straight skip the suffering their redemption arch might cause others and? Yoink! Straight back to the Force with you. After all? Other people are not here for YOUR life lessons. Their pain is not a gift to YOU. A debt YOU are owed.

Speaking of? Someone should check on Skywalker. He's looking a little shaken back there. (The Void was BRIGHT and it looked BACK. He is... NOT OKAY) (but also? Feels cleaner? Lighter? He thinks he just met his Dad. Spoke to his Mom.)

Obviously? Hella grounded. UNBELIEVABLY grounded. The entire temple is down and out with the worse case of Force Strain anyone can REMEMBER. The senate will have to send someone else.

......what do you MEAN you have "no one else"? They distinctly remember there being other offices. They are a religious organization. Not nearly as large as they once were. You are THE GOVERMENT. When a planet, in need, requests assistance? Why are you handing it to an EXTERNAL RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION?

Yes, OF COURSE we want to help! But unfortunately we literally CAN NOT right now! There was an INCIDENT! Are you telling us that this whole system was one cold away from COLLAPSE?! (Local eavesdropping reporters go :3c owo? Whats this? Paycheck~☆???)

And, yes. Yes it WAS. Centuries of Sith meddling and common greed. Cut the funds to line my pockets! The Jedi will handle it. They Jedi ALWAYS handle it. If they can't, we'll just blame them. They show up first. Sometimes are the only ones to show up. Are a face for people to latch on too. Someone recognizable to get angry at, in our hurt.

But.... suddenly? Not there! And they're telling us? The NEXT step? In their Very Worried For Us, Full Of Genuine Sympathy And Concern Way? Is the Goverment. Specific offices. Makes sense. They even try to help, while looking like death warmed over. No, no! We get you can't come. Go rest! People need you!

No, they keep insisting. I can HELP! Please let me help! You're suffering. This isn't RIGHT. You don't deserve this! Are you safe? Is your family okay? I can talk to some people I know... maybe?

Then you turn around? And get automated rejection after rejection from the GOVERMENT YOU SERVE. Pay your taxes too. Bleed for. As your people are DYING. Afraid. Begging for help, that? APPARENTLY the senate is too busy throwing GALAS to send!

The Jedi is actually crying on the other line. Arguing with a healer off screen that they don't faint THAT much! They can take a pilot droid! Your people NEED HELP! Please! They have to do SOMETHING! They can't just SIT THERE! Please don't make them sit there!

The healer is telling them if they don't bring their heart rate down, they may pass out again. Breathe. Give them the comm.

You watch the Jedi literally fight to keep it. Lose, too dizzy to win.

The healer looks sympathetic but resolute. Your people's doctors are much the same. Your SISTER-IN-LAW much the same. You ask that he not be allowed to contact you until he is well. You are not incompetent, after all. Your people will survive.

The Force is with you... but the Senate is not.

This? You will REMEMBER.

Discontent grows. But NOT, as Palpatine was trying to cultivate it, towards the Jedi. They? Are in crisis. Still holding strong, yes, but clearly DEALING with something. Some... weird... mystic cult illness. It's literally BAD enough that "Force Sensitive" (you know, the kinda creepy weirdos?) cultures and peoples are offering to send various doctor equivalents!

And the Jedi! The JEDI!!!? Infamously "oh, it's only a gushing flesh wound, I'm fiiiine!" Weirdo Space Monks? Yeah, they're saying YES. Please DO, actually. Admitting to NEEDING HELP.

...........guys?

A-Are the Jedi DYING? D:>

Suddenly everyone's remembering all those times? Jedi helped THEIR planet. Possibly DIED for them. Statistically? Over the centuries? There is not a SINGLE ONE of them that hasn't needed help at LEAST once. Gotten SOME Jedi's help. Maybe it was centuries back. Maybe decades. Possibly last year. But? The Holonet is FOREVER.

Videos still exsist. Voices long dead. Wry jokes and hoisting younglings up on their shoulders. Attentively listening to elders as they talk about their youth. Protection and respect. A face not so different from their own. Laughter and light, preserved forever.

The Jedi are in family holos.

Here, with grandma. See? He saved her from slavers! And there. Sitting with the family after The Great Collapse. Over here, rocking great-uncle Nox as a baby! On and on. Flooding the net. Private collections no one thought were relevant until now. It's not like anyone ASKED. It was JUST a FAMILY story.

Those little acts of kindness. Those humanizing bits of light. Jedi, throughout our history. Everywhere. Absolutely everwhere... until they weren't.

Until... slowly... they started to fade.

People, making timeliness, making collections? Notice. Huh. Look at that decline. Is that just them? Are they seeing things? Guys! Tell me what you see....

All while OC? Is sitting by the Nexus. Breathing in some NICE tea steam, in her comfy lil meditation nook, smacking the FUCK out of Palpatine's grasping lil claws as it reaches for the Nexus. BEGONE you malicious THOT! This is a benevolent thot only space! That's why Master's Vox and Kenobi can stay. (Ha!/CHILD!?!)

OC works as a legit filter.

The Nexus? Spews, by its nature, the Force in CONCENTRATED amounts, out into the universe. Like a high pressure water spout. Feeding into a lake. There are drains. People use it, move it, muddy the waters. But the NEXUS? Is where the unfiltered stuff comes back through, after it's been recycled.

Part of the endless loop. There are, of course, many Nexus. The Universe is large. One Nexus alone would never be able to cover it all. But Coruscant? The surrounding area? That's THIS Nexus. And Palpatine wants it BAD.

Because EVERYONE is part of the Force. Sensitive or not. ALL LIVING THINGS have midi-chlorians. They're just generally drawn to sentience. Are the universe in symbiosis with itself. Being near a Nexus tend to make them vibrate. Start to multiple. Not great for the body they're IN. Fascinating though.

......wait, where was she.... >.> oh! Right!

Whole ecumenopolis? Already has a LOT of suffering. Lot of stagnant pools of Darksider rot. The senate isn't helping. But? The Nexus IS helping. By blasting clean, fresh, hope and NEW! Through the heart of it all. Anyone who wanders close enough to the Temple? Gets cleaned off.

Feels hope. Sees a brighter future worth fighting for. Gets that much needed nudge from the Force, towards a better path.

Obviously, Palpatine hates that. Wants to flip it. To bad decisions and hopelessness. Bow your head and know your place. Well? FUCK 'IM. She's the guard of the Nexus. SHE'S sitting right in from of it! He may have fucked up rituals? But SHE can literally reach her arm out, INTO IT, and drag the darkness free.

Talk to Master's through time. The Force directly. Be a concept and a bird, right angles and starlight, here and then and The Force.

What are YOU, Sheev Palpatine? But a miserably hateful little creature.

A vile, angry little man.

The Jedi? Have probably already adjusted by now. Master Fae, Master Antilles, Youngling OC. Yeah... it be like that sometimes. You get Weird Jedi every so often. Just look at Yoda and Yaddle. The various wandering Jedi. That one guy they're preeeeeety sure? Might just be? Meditating out in a swamp somewhere? He might be dead. No one's sure. Still a jedi, though!

Look, you get like... 99 put of 100 vaguely normal Jedi to one Weird one, and 1 REALLY weird one out every... no one can actually agree? Inconclusive. Have a fruit bun. Nod and smile. The Force works in mysterious ways....

And SPEAKING of "we are a wrecking ball in a rice paper world" Master Fae/Antilles duo? Very sensitive to the Force. Go where it sends them. Did.... NOT expect to get a holocall? By means of FORCE NEXUS?? From an ACTUAL YOUNGLING?

.....ngl. this one's new.

Kamino it is.

(OC wants to make Palpatine CRY. Fight me, you FUCK, says the actual child. No one knows why this Jedi child hates the Naboolian senator specifically, but it... is REALLY effecting his Affable Grandfatherly Vibes.)

(Fucking GOOD.)

[erabu-san]

You are literally French. What would you know about any of this, an issue and drama stirred up by anericans.

Blackwashing exists and is used by bigots that hate white people. Its used to erase the ethnicity of asians just because people dont think they are "poc enough" because of their pale skin. Its used to demonize people with pale skin because its becoming more and more the norm to view anyone with pale skin as evil. That anyone who is "too pale" isnt enough or a human being.

They arent real people, and their skintones are fine as is. You wouldnt go up to, for example an albino or mixed race black/poc person and tell them they arent "dark enough". They dont even need to be special like that to be pale. Some just are pale.

Whether you think there should be more characters that are dark or not is not the issue. Its that you think they wouldnt be/arent good enough as is with pale skin that shows how much of a bigot you are.

Blackwashing is not the progressive act you think it is. Its obvious that your only experience with it is through genshin drama. You obviously know nothing about how much red haired pale characters & asian ones are substituted with black characters. How characters are simply replaced in the name of "diversity". How this forced inclusivity and diversity is just bigots trying to "get revenge" on the white people they hate so much, and to tick off DEI boxes on their little bigoted checklist.

You tell me to educate myself but its actually YOU who needs to be educated.

Many are complaining about sumeru and natlan characters with names similar to gods in cultures of our world that are pale when their inspiration is dark skinned. Claiming they want representation and for it to be accurate, to reflect our world on a 1-1 scale.

Yet these same people will make xiao, zhongli, Ei, and many more asian characters darker " because asians can be dark skinned too". Yet so can mostly dark skinned races be pale.

So why cant you (gen) respect such characters, who are gods and divine beings based on a culture where pale is more beautiful, and gods of such cultures are pale?

There is hypocrisy in everything to do with blackwashing. Its okay when its done to pale characters because in real life black people have been oppressed? But these characters are not real, nor are they a reflection of our reality, as far as we have seen they dont even have racism in this fictional world.

It is one thing to explore a character like with the recent hatsune miku trend, atleast there most people arent going at each other's throats saying black miku is better than japanese miku(as far as i have seen)

Seriously how can you even begin to justify this. And who ever told you that dark skinned characters "scare white people" is an absolute fucking liar trying to justify their own bigotry towards white people.

No black washing IS just as disgusting as whitewashing. Neither should exist, and you shouldn't feed into the stupid circle jerk of bigotry that both of them are.

Aaaah that's what I like ! Yes ! Thank you for telling me your opinion, explaining what is wrong. I absolutely love to learn, and I prefer to read this long text calling me ignorant and explaining why that just a simple text of you saying you are annoyed by a fanart.

Thank you for telling me ! First yes I am french, and indeed my culture has more an european pov. But again, I also grow up as a minority "race" with my parents culture !🙏 in france, i don't look like a french. Well. Still I am aware that it doesn't remove anything from what I said

And I totally agree with you, some are just pale !! It just happens I draw Kinich black because I like it like this. Is Kinich true inspiration are actually pale ? Tell me more, I wish to learn !!

Tbh when you talk abt gods being pale is beautiful, I thought about Nahida. I did research when she were out and yes, I do agree, there is character who are fine as they are.

And because I live in France I also see "dark skin scare white" as a true fact. It happens and it is harmful. 🧍 not only in France tho, in country where pale skin is portrayed as beautiful, people who have tan skin are less represented even if it is the majority. I suppose the contrary happens too !!

"Character are not real" and yet you are annoyed, I guess it is the action of "blackwash" that make you mad, more than "a fictional character w diffent skin tone" tho! My opinion is fiction does affect real world, as do real life affects fiction, and this is something I won't debate on

"They don't have racism in this fictional world" sorry but it does in Sumeru. 🙏 about this one npc she is reject by forest and desert because of them being mixed, desert not being access to book and even Cyno said his scholarship was complicated because he is from desert

If you wish to continue, please send me DM with arguments. I don't know if I would change my mind of not drawing Kinich pale, but I am super interested about what you have to say !! 👍👍

[acidnhuskerdust]

A bit of something to rattle on your brain: Angel makes it into heaven, but freaks out and demands/begs to send a message to heaven because he knows what had to happen to get there

"No, no no fuck no! Husk! I have to get a message to Husk, tell him okay." ;x;

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

This is a good one, because even though getting into heaven is supposed to be a good thing, I feel like Angel would be absolutely devastated to be there without Husk.

Instead of Sir Pentious getting into heaven, Angel does.

i need him (Husk x Angel)

Dark.

That's all Angel could perceive, an all-consuming blackness so deep he couldn't even discern his own form. It left him wondering if his eyes were truly open. The sensation was more than unsettling; it was downright terrifying.

The final imaged seared into his memory was that of Husk, with tears glistening in those golden eyes, begging for him to stay.

"Don't go, I need you. I lov-"

He clung onto those unfinished word as if they were his life line. He knew what he was going to say, and fuck would he do anything to say it back.

As his mind races with too many thoughts, he closes his eyes tight. Maybe, just maybe, if he let himself fall asleep, he could escape this torment. He yearned for never ending unconsciousness, he didn't want to face these thoughts, didn't want to acknowledge this existence. He should be dead, more so then he already was.

But just as he willed his eyes to seal shut, a piercing light sliced through the darkness, searing through his closed eyelids. With a sharp intake of breath, his eyes snapped open, instantly surrounded by hues of blue and gold. His gaze darted around frantically, is this some corner of Hell he's never seen before? Was he safe?

Then, his eyes locked onto two pairs of eyes staring back at him, one radiating sheer excitement while the other wore an expression of what could only be described as disgusted surprise.

Angels?

"What... What the fuck?" Angel stammers, instinctively taking a step back. "Where am I?"

One of the angels clasp her hands together, her entire being seeming to shimmer with excitement. Her eyes, wide and filled with wonder, locked onto Angel's "You're in Heaven!"

Angel recoils, taking another retreating step, his pulse thundering in his ears. "H-Heaven..." The word felt foreign, surreal as he echoed it. His gaze sweeps across the room again, a frown settling on his lips. "Is this... Some sorta joke?"

The taller angel, exuding a more composed aura, shook her head. "I'm afraid not, it appears Charlie was correct..."

Angel falls silent, his eyes flitted from one corner of the room to another, unable to settle on one thing. He should have felt a wave of relief wash over him, he was safe, in Heaven no less! But instead, a deep seated ache throbbed in his heart, and a weight seemed to press down on his chest.

Husk.

"No..." The word slipped from Angel's lips, a mere whisper laced with dread.

"No?" The elder angel echoed, a hint of confusion lacing her tone.

Angel runs a hand through his hair, his breaths coming in short, rapid gasps. "N-no! I need ta get back, right now!" His voice grows more desperate, more insistent.

This wasn't his home, this wasn't his friends, his... Family. He doesn't want to be here, he never really wanted to in the first place, not since Husk and him grew closer...

The smaller angel rises from her seat, a gentle look etched on face as she approaches Angel. "I understand that you're shocked, we are too, but-"

"Ya don't understand," Angel cuts in, his voice strained. His hand clutches at his hair, "I gotta see him, I need him." His plea was raw and real, he didn't care for anything else besides Husk.

"You can't." The elder angel asserted with a voice that brooked no argument, rising up from her seat.

"What do ya mean I can't?!" Angel's voice spiked with desperation. "Ya guys come down to slaughter us, and now ya tell me ya can't ferry me back?!"

She raises her hand, a silent request for quiet. Angel drew in a deep, ragged breath. "You can't right now. We need... To understand how you are here in the first place." She explains.

"Ta hell with that! Ya can't just hold me captive, please, you're not getting it." His voice was laced with rising panic. He shouldn't be here, he can't be here, Husk wasn't here. What was the point of being in Heaven if he was kept from the one he loved most?

He was scared. So fucking scared.

The smaller angel bridged the gap between them, her hand reaching out to tenderly grasp his own. As he gazed down at her through a veil of tears, his breath hitched, a sob wrenching free from the depths of his being.

"It's going to be okay," She murmurs in a soothing tone, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "I promise you'll be able to see whoever you want, just give us some time, okay?"

Angel clenched his eyes tight, his tears carving warm, damp trails down the fur of his cheeks. He fought for the need to plead, to go back, because in the end he should count his blessing he was here.

Finally, he nods his head. "O-okay." He wipes away his tears with the back of his fist. "Can.. Can we at least send him a message? Let him know... Let him know I'm okay?"

"We sure can." The younger one smiles up at him. "My name is Emily."

"Angel."

"A fitting name for where you are now, huh?" She lets out a soft giggle, filling the space between them. "Come on, let's go and get you a room. You can stay here for as long as you'd like."

Angel feels his breath steady as the seconds pass, Emily's presence provided him a comfort that he needed so very badly. He can be patient, he can wait, he will see him again.

He will tell him how much he loves him.

[spacelessbian]

thoughts on Agatha All Along FINALE

Full spoilers ahead, 100% don't read if you haven't seen episodes 8 and 9.

I really enjoyed the finale, both episodes had a lot to offer and overall I am quite happy with how the show concluded. Things that I liked in no particular order:

The REVEALS. There is simply nothing better than a reveal that recontextualizes everything. And we didn't get just one, but two! Personally I found Agatha running a con and murdering women for centuries the more fun one, but Billy actually creating the Road was also really good and even though I've only seen the show once (unlike many people on here, no doubt), I can name many points in the story and in the dialogue where this is worked in and suddenly makes sense. Really great stuff.

Agatha and Nicky. I was dreading this part a little bit because I know Nicholas Scratch is some sort of big name in Marvel comics and I truly couldn't care less, so I'm pleased with what we got – a genuinely sweet yet tragic story of a mom and her son, destined to death even before being born. I was surprised (but in a good way) by Agatha's quiet reaction to Nicky's death because we know his death hurt her badly, but that's just how it is sometimes.

Agatha and Rio. I won't say I'd always had fate in Marvel to not mess this up, so yay! I don't think they did. This relationship is the heart of the show (and it is black and beats for the queers) and I think the writers did it justice (apart from one thing which I will get to in the next section). The kiss was intense, sexy, beautiful and also tragic and both Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza did a fantastic job with every piece of dialogue and every expression. I want them to play doomed lovers in five more projects, at least.

The coven. I already blogged about Jen but man, is it funny. Even this was Agatha all along, but she is such a menace she hasn't even realized that. I'm truly happy for Jen making it through and getting her power back. I'm glad we saw Alice's last moment and I liked how much Billy cared about her, Lilia and Sharon.

Agatha's death. I can't help myself, I need to go to that moment again. I was destroyed by that. It was so beautiful, both thematically and also visually and all. The flowers and mushrooms? The sun coming up? I kept thinking about Hozier's Work Song: When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her. (whadup, Rio reference)

Agatha and Billy specifically in that last battle scene. She was blue you guys, she was just completely blue and in the exact same blue that Billy wears in his silly Marvel costume. And Billy just offered her his power, without questions and without wanting anything in return! And she didn't kill him! (Writing that down, the bar is on the floor for Agatha lol.)

There are other small things (like the Subaru lol), but I am ready to go to the bad section now. Two things I did not like (hidden for lenght but also because not everyone wants to read negative stuff):

Agatha's ghost. I'm gonna say it. Agatha as a ghost looks fucking terrible and her existence itself diminishes her death scene. I do understand why they did it and even why she looks like that (Agatha in the comics, as I understand it, is Wanda's mentor and also an older white haired lady, so they wanted to keep that but it didn't make sense with Wanda anymore), but I just hate it. Especially the wig.

The Marvel stuff. Yes, I realize this sounds stupid, it is a Marvel show after all. We wouldn't get a stupid gimmick like ghost Agatha joining Billy to look for his brother if this wasn't a starting point for the Wiccan. And I like Billy, I do, I also (obviously) love Agatha, who was first introduced in WandaVision (I realize the hypocrisy), but it just doesn't work for me. I would rather think about the beautiful death scene with it's poetic tragedy than about white haired Agatha floating on a washing machine, I'm sorry.

That being said, I really really liked the whole show and I am happy to say I hooked in my best friend (if you are reading this, you are contractually obliged to like the post, you know how it is) and that I actually know other people irl who watched it and enjoyed it. I'm sad it's over and even sadder that in this day and age, noone will talk about it in about two to three weeks. Anyway, it was lovely.

[pomplalamoose]

I fucking love you you’re the only person who talks abt Luke and I need more stuff abt him PLEASE litreally anything will do

Really, this means SO much to me because the only reason this blog exists is an outrageous lack of Luke content, so now I'm making it myself😤

I didn't know what you would like to hear about so here's a random collection of Luke thoughts and ideas I had since August (mostly in collaboration with my girly @little-skywalker )🫶🏻

Also this turned out a little bit more nsfw than what I usually do, I hope you don't mind

• in my mind Luke is very good with children and they like him a lot in return

• so if you have been in a healthy and loving relationship with him for a while, he'll probably ask how you feel about kids of your own

• as someone who wants to avoid pregnancy at all costs I like to think he'd be very understanding about you feeling uncomfortable with giving birth to a child yourself

• because of this he'd be more than happy to adopt too

• especially because he knows what it's like to loose caregivers and grow up without knowledge about your real parents, he'd be so enthusiastic to raise orphans with all the love they deserve

• along with the ones already in his Jedi Academy, you'd have a shit ton of kids around

• related to this I can totally see him giving out fun stickers as rewards

• the children cleaned their rooms? Sticker. They did their house hold chores? Sticker. They did well at school? Sticker. They made him laugh? Sticker.

• he likes to give you some too if that's what you want

• (although for wildly different reasons)

• when he's in a good mood, Luke is a tease

• often about pretty innocent things like a stain of marmelade on your top or when you mispronounce a word lost in thought

• other than that he likes to gently pull your hair while he's sneaking up on you

• or to grab your nape with ice cold fingers after washing them

• he loves hearing you shriek his name and your indignant expression after

• when you're alone though, things quickly take a turn in a whole other direction

• he's never mean of course, but making you blush is one of his favorite activities

• he likes to mock the sounds you make in bed, sometimes even going as far as mimicking them

• he likes to pinch and squeeze your soft thighs, your arms and ass or your breasts until you swat his hands away

• when he discovers something new you like, you won't hear the end of it for the next few weeks

• he has a way of glancing and smiling at you suggestively while others are around that makes you fume

• Luke likes to see you in pretty lingerie, no matter whether you bought it yourself to surprise him or if he gave it to you as a present

• one can argue about his favorite colors in that regard

• my first idea was a nice pastel green to match his lightsaber

• until I realized his lightsaber is neon green

• the ultimate conclusion: Luke likes to see you in neon green lingerie

• (maybe go for black, you can't go wrong with black)

• Luke is ✨well endowed✨ and while not too big, he's still a lot to take

• I like to think you'd need to practice to get him fully inside of you

• he's always patient and careful with you though, and knows how to make it as pleasant as he possibly can

• he doesn't want to hurt you

• that said, sometimes he tends to forget himself while you are going at it

• when at first he was slow and gentle, he sometimes gets a little bit too into it and his thrusts grow rough, almost bruising

• he'll catch himself quickly and apologize, though if you liked it, he may be willing to change up his pace a little bit

• I'd like to add how insanely attractive that man is as well

• everything about him is good looking, even (or especially?) his hands

• they are simply made to be kissed and licked

• (imagine sucking on his fingers)

• also it'd be nice to just be held by them

• your hand would completely disappear in his

• and they are always nicely warm

• I'm sure that Luke is very strong as well

• he didn't train in that swamp on Dagobah for nothing

• we all have noticed his arm muscles

• that combined with his height, he's easily able to manhandle about everyone

• the children love when he picks them up to spin them around or to throw them up in the air as if they weigh next to nothing to him

• you like to be picked up as well, especially if he then pins you to a wall

• or down on his bed

• if he wants to cuddle there is not much you can do about it

• while I'm not necessarily into nicknames or other kinds of endearments, the thought of being called bunny by Luke drives me crazy

• I find it to be fitting in every kind of situation too

• it doesn't matter if it's said in a soothing manner or just casually during the day

• imagine him calling you bunny to admonish you

• OR when you're bouncing up and down on his enormous d-*gunshot noise*

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

Do you have any bsd headcannons you'd like to share? (literally anything, I just love learning about other peoples hcs)

OMG YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE IVE BEEN USING THIS IN MY DRAFTS AS A COLLECTION OF JUST ABOUT ANYTHING THAT GOES THRU MY MIND AND I'VE JUST DECIDED I'M GONNA POST IT ALR

chuuya's hat is so old (bc it keeps getting passed from person to person and he brings it with him everywhere obviously) and WORN OUT but he has no idea how to fix it. he treats it like his child but it's inevitable that the material will deteriorate over time, so he's been trying to convince himself to go to a hatter for ages and can't swallow his pride. he drunkenly told it to hirotsu once night while they were drinking, and hirotsu just sighed and got it fixed for him that night while chuuya was passed out. they never spoke about it.

dazai has met several women who actually did say yes to a double suicide. the majority didn't mean it and just wanted to toy with him, but ran when they realized he was serious. a few actually did mean it. he pulled strings and invited them to a romantic date, except that he sent therapists there instead of him, basically playing matchmaker. all those women are now doing better but ask him about it and he'll act dumb and say he knows nothing about it.

fyodor needs glasses. his eyesight definitely sucks and the hours he spends at a computer don't help. however, he manipulates himself into thinking that he's actually fine when he's not. nikolai also has shitty eyesight bc of his dull eye and the other one he's probably abused looking at the birds in the sky and thus the sun. they are literally the blind leading the blind. nikolai places his portal 2 meters from where he meant to put it and fyodor says "good job". it's incredible how they're feared terrorists.

sigma gets tired wearing heels all day. he wants memory foam but doesn't know it exists. give him his goddamn memory foam. anyways one of his employees saw him holding his feet in pain and offered him orthopedic shoe inserts. he hasn't been the same since. would give them a raise if he knew how.

tachihara used to get acne from having his bandage on his nose all day. so, he's developed an incredibly rigid skin care routine. his face is soft as hell. cheeks are smoother than you'd think.

kouyou made it her first demand as executive to raid her favourite shop where she gets all her kiminos and accessories. hirotsu led the black lizard battalion into the shop and the workers were so fucking confused. stole expensive silk fabrics and clothing of the highest quality because she doesn't settle for less, and in the process has gotten hirotsu more into fashion. they go shopping together.

speaking of shopping, kajii only goes thrifting. have you seen his clothes?? they're not his size and torn as hell but they're so damn cheap he can't resist. his sandals are so goddamn iconic. yeah he's blowing you up but his dogs are OUT like a mf psychopath. i maybe love him a little too much.

ivan has greasy hair. while doing his surgery thing wtv tf that was, fyodor was continually grossed out (ironic aint it). pushkin was then ordered to help ivan wash his hair and they died just a little bit. neither knew what the difference between shampoo and conditioner is, and they struggled with it for a long time. eventually when they came back for fyodor to do the surgery, ivan's hair smelled like flowers and was braided cutely because they gave up and went to a salon where the people working there fell a little in love with his hair and went overboard. pushkin's hair (if you can call it that...) was also in a little bowtie. they enjoyed their little adventure just a little bit. just a little ofc.

odasaku has no idea how to cook curry. he loves it and fears doing it wrong, so he just buys it from the same place over and over. considered asking for the recipe but never did because why change what is already perfection. dazai however is convinced oda has housewife abilities and can cook like a god. he never knew the truth.

fitzgerald can't do math. he pretends he's good at converting currencies but in his head it just doesn't add up. 20 000 yen? that's like.... 5 freedom eagles obviously. no biggie *throws a bunch of american dollars at the workers and just takes the item and leaves* he also doesn't give tips when it prompts on the machine, and instead prefers sliding a crisp bill to them directly. cried a little when his favourite shop told him they ran out of an item he wanted and they didn't budge after he slid them a stack of 100s (he has no idea how many were in the stack)

fitzgerald also owns an airline but he doesn't manage it personally ofc. his only interaction with it is that they provide him and the guild with a private jet to travel to japan. lovecraft did not get on. he swam??? who knows, but he did not get on that plane. lucy got sick and louisa freaked out every time there was turbulence. mark was snoring loudly the entire way and steinbeck had his nose pressed on the window looking outside the entire time the lil cutie.

agatha has the super power of drinking tea while it is still piping hot. she never burns her tongue and never complained about its temperature, except when it's too cold. the water was literally boiling once (her subordinates wanted to find out how hot she can go) and she gulped it all down without a single contortion of her face. incredible.

shirase doesn't understand english and keeps trying to learn it but every time he thinks he's getting the hang of it, someone throws cockney slang at him and he gives up.

adam finally figured out how to blow a bubble of gum, but keeps swallowing it. one day, it clogged his internal system (he's not supposed to be eating obvi) and he's been afraid of it ever since. thinks it's possessed by evil spirits his android brain can't understand. i also hc that he recharges thru solar panels integrated onto his skin and for this reason he goes to the beach to 'tan' often. HE'S SO PALE people get a little concerned for him when they see him not apply sunscreen and just lay down for hours at a time. one lady actually told him he could get skin cancer and he opened his eyes "ackshually 🤓👆" then began reciting every fact known to man about skin cancer. rip that lady

verlaine and rimbaud complain about france all the time. "fuck france i fucking hate the french this country goddamn sucks" then as soon as someone else says anything bad about it they give them death glares and threaten death for disrespecting their country.

wells has memorized a whole lot of things about quantum theory from her days studying to be an engineer because it was her favourite class. she cannot handle mechanical or civil engineering topics and physically ascends at the mention of anything to do with dynamics. i also think she's been hit on a lot while wearing disguises; she tells them she's actually a woman, they freak out, then she sends them back in time. this time, they do not approach her and thus she doesn't have to deal with the awkward rejection and doesn't even remember it.

jules verne has made little dolls and pretended that they were his friends and invented scenarios in which they hung out. i will not elaborate on this.

albatross sometimes interrupts conversations in order to listen to the engine of a vehicle passing by. tries to track them down, too. he'll be the type of guy to ogle at your car without making eye contact with you while you're still in the car. and when i say ogle, i mean ogle. checks out motorcycles more often than women.

the flags bully lippmann sometimes when he acts in a really cheesy scene. he's coming to hang out with them and they're all giggling and chuckling at him stupidly. albatross walks up to him, tucks his hair behind his ear and whispers whatever cheesy thing was said in a low voice before bursting out laughing (he usually starts laughing before he can even finish the sentence). pianoman slides it slickly into conversations, and doc 'fufu's at random moments when looking at him and he suddenly remembers the scene. iceman has not watched the movie and chuuya couldn't care less.

the first time he tried to take the train, ranpo loudly exclaimed and yelled at every turn and stop of the train. he went during rush hour too and got his entire body smooshed into the strangers next to him. he squealed when someone accidentally (accidentally) grabbed his ass in the crowded traincar, then asked loudly who did that. dramatic as hell. got his pockets picked and knew who did it, but couldn't do anything about it. he felt awful and slumped his way back home and collapsed into yosano's arms with a groan. this was the only time she'd ever willingly bought him a bunch of sweets and let him eat them in peace while he ranted to her about the atrocities

kenji is more notorious on the streets than he knows. he got recognized by some huge 200cm tall man built like a goddamn tank with tattoos all over his body who wanted to fight him. kenji was so flattered that he knew his name that he thanked him and burly dude was like. wtf. anyways they got beef ramen together afterwards bonded over cows and are now besties. he's told the agency about it but they think that by "friend" he means someone else his age.

tanizaki ran into kajii once at his favourite thrift shop. he recognized him and ran out freaked never to return. for this reason he had to keep wearing his same stanky ahh uwu girl clothes that don't fit and hasn't had a style update. actually, when doing his research for how to infiltrate the mafia, tachihara found out that there have been a lot of sightings of known dangerous ability users in the thrift store, and that's why he wears the same shirt as tanizaki.

tachihara dreads the hunting dogs meetings because they make him feel like the only sane one there. his back has become so chiseled from carrying teruko around all the time, and once - jouno thought it would be funny - he tripped on a wire laying down on the ground and almost dropped her. he had to use his ability to pick her up from the belt of the uniform to prevent her from faceplanting, and she looked like she was about to explode. he had to let her beat him up a little then she hopped back on his shoulders and nothing changed. he questions his life choices often

jouno can't handle cinnamon or ginger scents, they overwhelm him and he goes into a fucking sensory overload coma. odor orgasm. sinus sex. teruko got sick once and tachi made her the strongest herbal and ginger tea you've ever seen (learnt it from his brother rip the goat) and he collapsed on the ground with a moan. woke up a half hour layer with no clue wth just happened. tecchou eventually heard about it, placed a hand on his shoulder and said "it happens to the best of us" while nodding solemnly then never elaborated.

yeah fukuchi and fukuzawa used to steal food when they were younger but imagine them figuring out milestones together. "dude my armpits are itchy where is this hair coming from :(" "genichiro i don't need to know about that *scratches at his armpit subtly*" i think they were very goofy about it

speaking of puberty elise once freaked mori out by saying she got her period. dude was like. wtf. you're an ability. how tf. she insisted he got her a bunch of tampons n pads and chocolate and heating pads and the works, then once he (the underlings he made go do the shopping threatening their lives if they ever told a soul) bought everything, she looked at his confused and asked why he bought those things. she's an ability how could she have a period? mori cried a little that night.

bram is a swiftie for no reason other than i think it's funny. alternatively, i believe he listens to reggae for no reason other than i think it's goddamn FUNNY.

kunikida's old students sometimes run into him on the street and recognize him. they immediately straighten their backs, nod at him and quickly walk away in the most respectful way because they don't want to ruin his schedule. he nearly tears up from happiness every time.

natsume goes through 5-6 "here, kitty kitty!"s in a day when he's just vibing around. people try to feed him grass blades. people get WAY too comfortable rubbing his stomach. once, a girl saw him on her way back from school and started scratching a random spot behind his ears and he folded so quickly and just melted on the sidewalk. he wont admit it but he has that weak spot in human form too (i want to pet him so badly this is self indulgent ok). the girl was actually gin btw. she's an animal whisperer i dont know why i dont know how but she is.

[cssnder]

I thought you were a DA blog. That's why I followed you. But you talked about gothic and metal and it put me off kinda :/ you're a poser

I am no one to tell you what to do. But I truly believe that you should let go of the need to have a strict aesthetic. You're suffocating yourself in the name of being definable, for the sake of belonging to a community.

I am not a Dark Academia blog for the sole reason that Dark Academia, while being the genre of the novel I write and being one of my visual influences, is not my aesthetic nor a label I want to out myself under.

Well, sure, I do have a personal aesthetic, you could say. But quite frankly, it's almost indefinable. The only thing you could name it is this: Cassander. Simply because it revolves around all my different personal influences: Gothic; Dark Academia; metal and rock music; gothic and german expressionist silent films; maximalism; dark colours; the ugly, the unconventional and the fucked up — think about messy hair, absinthe as a top note in a perfume, washed out walls, clothes that seem to swallow you whole and hide you in the darkness, black blue lipstick for only makeup —, the provocative and the sensual — tattoos hidden in intimate places, garter stockings and latex lingeries, kinky sex —; the morbid and the dark. And, let's be honest here, these are only some of them. There's a whole lot more. And because this is my personal aesthetic — which, at this point, I do not even think of as an aesthetic but simply a visual representation of my own little world and my tastes —, I am free. I am free because there is not pressure to be this or that. I am à la fois indefinable and yet I can only be defined as me. To make it easier for you to understand it, here is a visual representation of my little world. This, I keep on Pinterest. I should probably update it sometime.

So let me tell you more. Most of my hobbies fit the Dark Academia aesthetic, and frankly, so does most of my taste in things. But I love bands like Type O Negative, Architect, Motionless in White, Drowning Pool, and so on, just as much as I love Satie, Debussy, you name it. But guess what? I also listen to pop music. I am into Junji Itō's work, and yes, I believe mangas are a form of art. I am forever in awe of the amount of details in his work and the way he manages to inspire unease and terror. I watch animes and my favourite ones are Monster, Death Note, and Attack on Titan, followed by (oh my God, I think you're going to faint if I say it, are you ready?) My Hero Academia. I love knitwear, I love simple and classic clothing, but I also love bondage wear and leather pieces and clothes with weird shapes and cuts to them. My thing, especially, is layering everything and playing with the overall shape and silhouette of an outfit. I like video games, although I prefer to watch let's plays rather than actually play them so far — Until Dawn, Resident Evil, Cry of Fear, Silent Hill, The Evil Within are some among them. And while the Dark Academia community is into sportive activities such as tennis or polo, I am into weightlifting, boxing and judo. And this is barely the top of the iceberg of my likes and dislikes.

In short, don't tell me what I am, what I can do or what I like. You have no idea, because you're not me. If you're disappointed, unfollow me. It is none of my business. But don't come in my inbox crying because the version of me you made up in your head doesn't actually exist.

[phaeton-flier]

Jiro, or the Existential Horror of Being a Self-Insert Protagonist

Jiro Foreach is depressed, and I think a lot of his worldview is tinged by that, because being depressed makes you see everything as bad and unfixable and fucked. But I think a lot of the clear problems he has are reflective of him existing as little as possible, so that the player of Love Bomb can have relationships with the girls.

Look at his design. He does, in fact, have an memorable face and emotions, but the base? His major visual qualities are "black hair", "male", "skinny", and "tired". Those first three sure look a lot like the sort of generic protagonist a Japanese teenager would find it easy to self-insert into.

His thoughts constantly reflect the frustration of feeling like people only love some weird abstract thing that he isn't. Because, well, they are.

After all, the girls dialogue isn't meant for him; It's meant for the player. Notice how all of the gift-giving scenes are from his perspective; Jiro is only there to serve as a camera and a hand puppet. He keeps seeing them (metaphorically) look through him, at someone behind him, when they talk, because they're talking to the player, not to him. He picks up on that, he can tell on some level that they're not talking to him, they're talking to some idea of who he should be.

All of that he would be enough to cause problems—he clearly finds himself lacking, compared to what he imagines they imagine him as—if he had some personality to retreat to. But underneath his shell is very little. He doesn't seem to have a him. He's mentioned as having washed up on the shores of the island and I suspect he doesn't have much episodic memory of his life beforehand. Why would he need it? He's just there to be a self-insert. So he can tell, on some level, that there isn't much there and that scares him.

All of the girls' lines are gonna be somewhat generic because they need to apply to anyone playing the game, but that means that they can't in any way connect to Jiro the character. They can only see, or only comment on, him being "nice" because that's the most generic, common thing among any member of the player base.

(To be clear, I do think he is a full person and does have a full inner life, under there, but it's hard to see that when you have no social outlets to explore it and what little time he has to himself is spent on emotional release)

So he's getting it from two ends: the vague feeling they're not talking to him so much as a through him, and clear shallowness of their answers make it seem like there would be nothing there to connect to anyways.

Jiro's actions in battle are, as far as I can tell, literally just to be there to power up the girls, who do the actual attacks. In-Universe, he's also responsible for tactics (in choosing which girls go on the mission) so maybe in longer fights he's the one supposedly calling out attacks, or whatever. But never the one attacking, never able to just do something. His choice of game being HELLFUCK is reflective of him wanting emotional release, something raw and angry he can just swear at instead of choking it down. More than just something ugly to contrast with Love Bomb saccharine nature, however, I think a fantasy full of blood and gore might be reflecting a desire to actually go out and hit things himself. I think the fact that there's a target right there he could just unload on, but for the fact that he's not strong, is affecting him.

He's unconsciously living an existential nightmare of being meant only as a window for someone else's power fantasy, and I think that's only going to get worse as he learns the true nature of his universe.

[teeth-cable]

You everr realize that Vivziepop is completely bullshitting when it comes to ethnic casting because of Millie?

Like we are definitely getting imp human disguises for merch reasons so its definitely going to come up.

But like if Millie is black then her family should be played by black VAs but all of them are white VAs. Like I don't think Millie is adopted since she looks like a younger version of her mother.

The best course would then be making Millie white and no we can't use Erica being the original VA as evidence because that was always meant to be a temp casting.

But then this creates an issue in Helluva Boss having no fucking diversity like Vivziepop doesn't have to answer to corporate demands to make the ENTIRE CAST white. She can choose to add diversity.

If she makes Millie black that's also showcasing a huge issue in Helluva's lack of diversity in its main group of characters and Millie could come off as a token. Then you have the fact Morgana and Ed would come under fire for taking POC roles as well as Spindle allowing it unless Vivziepop retcons Millie as adopted or half siblings with Sallie.

Like Into The Spiderverse had half its human cast be POC and it answered to corporate demands. Then Across The Spiderverse without spoiling anything has a MAJORITY of the cast be POC.

Now you can argue Spiderverse is based off existing material unlike Helluva but those existing materials had put effort into adding POC in the first place. And guess what Spiderverse had consulted actual minorities when it came to development of the project.

Vivziepop is latina but she's white passing so she needs to consult people who don't pass to get a better understanding overall on things. Like I'm disconnected from my own culture but just because I'm part of it doesn't mean I have a full picture of it.

Vivziepop also isn't black, asian or indigenous so if she's telling stories that features them she needs to do research and consult people.

She actually consulted Morgana about Sallie May being trans thankfully but... I never hear any talk about other people she talks to which shows poor ass attempts. Like Morgana's insight is valid but she does not speak for all trans people and yes you aren't going to please everybody with representation but just consulting a SINGLE PERSON is insane. We also know Viv according to leaked screenshots has or had some form of transphobia so she absolutely needs to consult more people if she's trying to change and do better especially if she's writing about a trans character.

Like Morgana being a white transwoman will not have the same experience as a black transwoman for example. Like I know that from actively trying to learn about trans people.

Like there's a youtuber UnicornofWar who made a video about how the show RWBY is terrible at handling its racism allegory. Now Unicorn is white but actively went out of their way to consult multiple POC for the video and did a shit ton of research. Now I will say Unicorn in the past has said ignorant things about stuff like white washing (thinking its ok because of art style color pallets back then) in earlier videos but currently denounces that viewpoint (note: Unicorn as far as Im aware has never said anything with vile. I have to clarify so I don't misrepresent their person and people don't assume Unicorn like said a slur) and actually apologizes for their ignorance.

Has Vivziepop ever denounced her old views or behavior? Has she apologized for being ignorant in certain things? Is making a serious effort to change? Has Vivziepop researched throughly and listened to POC insights or concerns?

As far as I'm aware she hasn't.

I have noticed Viv's weird choices for Millie as a black character. I hate to say this but Millie is supposed to be token rep which to me is weird because nobody was pressuring Viv to add rep to her shows. I will say this even in a universe where Viv hired black VAs to voice Millie's family and did do properly research and consulted black people, Millie would still be considered token rep because she is the only the only main character in the show to not have an self-centered EP and has the least amount of screentime.

It makes me wonder if the reason why the IMPs don't have a canon human form yet is because Viv doesn't want to draw POC characters. She has shown she knows the importance of these disguises and they sell well on merch but the only characters who have canon human forms are Stolas and Loona, two white characters who arguably don't even need them. Blitzo is voiced by Brandon Roger who is a mixed Filipino (It's also canon Blitzo looks like Brandon Roger and Blitzo and Brandon Roger are intertwined together so it doesn't make sense for Blitzo to be white), Millie being a black woman, and Moxxie, despite what you might believe is a mixed Latino.

The POC rep we already have isn't good either. In Spring Broken, Verosika and her gang, who the majority are POCs, gets arrested and Verosika makes a joke about sucking police dicks to get out of jail. Having a POC character make a rape joke about police corruption unironically is not funny. Moxxie's mom is obviously supposed to be Latina, falls into the trope of nice POC women who get brutally abused and killed by their white husbands. This actually could have work and wouldn't be as tokenizing if 1. we got to learn about Moxxie's mom as a person and 2. her death wasn't solely use to be angst bait for a male character.

The Spiderverse crew actively puts effort and consulted with POC about characters from their culture. During the early stage of writing for Pavitr Prabhakar, the writing team struggled writing his character and called his VA, Karan Soni to help them write and consult on the character. Thanks to Karan Soni's contribution for Pavitr Prabhakar, he is beloved by desi people alike. Viv doesn't do that and probably will never. She has shown time and time again, she doesn't respect religions, using their symbols as an aesthetic and for monetary gain. Viv's designs for black and other POC characters are terrible, them alway never having POC features and looking racial ambiguous as hell and she ignored the criticism from black and POC people for these POC characters.

[takeachillpillshawty]

I don't know how to start this off but I was scrolling through Pinterest and saw this cool edit of Norton from IDV with his skin slightly tanner than his actual sprite and a person in the comments is like 'white washing bad 😠, black washing good😜' in a sarcastic way you know. I want to put my two sense in and lay this argument to rest.

Is Black washing as bad as White washing and my answer is

*drum roll for effect*

No it's not. I want you guys to realize that White washing is a real thing that's affecting our world history and people debating whether Jesus is white or middle eastern or is Yasuke was a real person. And 'black washing' is just some Poc editing their favorite anime as black, Hispanic, Indian to have a closer connection to them.

At the end of the day, we know Naruto isn't black, that Shinobu isn't black, that Midoriya isn't black. IT'S .JUST . EDITS. "b..but you're erasing their culture." Just because someone drew Sanemi with a durag doesn't mean he's officially black. At the end of the day, it's just an edit. We know the characters don't look like that! And not everyone in the world is a white dude \ chick, most cosplayers I see are either mixed or pocs. Some artists take it in their own hands to draw anime characters as their own race because what other characters do we have?

Not all black girls wanna be Canary from hxh and not all dudes wanna be killer bee. "but...but it's hard to draw black features in anime art styles...". THE FUCKING BOONDOCKS EXIST, there are modern day anime that are including black people and other people of color because they exist.

The reason why white washing is a big fucking problem is because it's actually harmful and make you realize that some people just hate non white people. Tell me why I found out picnics were linked with the lynching of black people, Tell me why if found out George Washington's dentures were made with the teeth of slaves? Tell me why people are still arguing that Jesus is white despite him being middle eastern, tell me why history books paint people who erased or genocided different ethnicities and cultures as founders and never their victims, tell me why hollywood would rather cast a white actors for a roll that was specifically made for a person of color? History has been white washed and spoon fed to us by the colonizers, and you're pissing yourself because someone drew your waifu as a hot latina baddie?

And when people of color make their own stories, movies, games and series about their race and culture everyone call it 'woke' and rather regurgitate the same story over and over again with no spice or creativity. Before anyone brings up Velma, that show was bad even if the cast were still white, the writing was terrible and couldn't be creative to save their life.

So conclusion, White washing is bad because it affects history and actually erases cultures and ethnicities that existed and were are doom to make the same mistakes if we don't learn from them, While black washing is just someone making an edit of Sebek as a black man with a durag.

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S04E01 A fat bald white man.

*Score changes noted in parenthesis.

New series alert and I'd say we've finally reached one of the series that most consider a peak of Taskmaster. I've said as much in the post where I ranked the series, but I'm not quite as fond of this series as most. However, Joe Lycett might be one of my favorite contestants of all time . . . so if this regrade ends with him as the winner, you can call me biased.

Prize Task: The most interesting autograph on the most interesting vegetable.

Two possible methods of grading this exist: (1) It can be evaluated by the total completed submission, or (2) The vegetable and autograph can be evaluated separately. The former seems more appropriate because some of the contestants use a theme for their whole submission.

Hugh brings in a forged "Malcolm X" signature on a carrot. He's actively sacking his points for a joke here. Joe had Sara Pascoe trick Greg into signing a yellow courgette and gets marked down because she lied about it being for charity.

Lolly tries a workaround by placing a signed Black Eyed Peas CD on some black eyed peas. Even if this is considered "on the vegetable," it's a very temporary or conditional sort of on. I'm dropping her below Joe because, to quote him: "fuck charity."

Mel had four of the five members of Take That sign different vegetables (I don't think there was any connection as to the specific vegetables, but they were all interesting). While incomplete, she quadrupled the amount of signatures anyone else got (presumably Lolly just bought a pre-signed CD).

Noel had Sir David Suchet sign a broad bean. Impressive signature, but I'm wasn't familiar with him so I'm struggling to see how it can beat Mel's four, no matter how impressive he is.

Hugh: 1 (0) Joe: 3 (+1) Lolly: 2 (-1) Mel: 5 (-1) Noel: 4 (-1)

VT 01: Destroy this cake. Most beautify destruction wins.

No disagreement on the winner here. Joe using fireworks to blow up a cake looks just as good as it sounds. Production even helped him out with slow-mo and a little Hoist.

I cannot figure out how Noel beat Lolly here. Chucking a cake in a washing machine is not more beautiful than what is actually a pretty good heart portrait. I honestly find Hugh's knife-work a little hypnotic and might have put him above Noel had it been a little cleaner.

Sorry Mel.

Hugh: 2 (0) Joe: 5 (0) Lolly: 4 (+1) Mel: 1 (0) Noel: 3 (-1)

VT 02: Create the best caricature of the person on the other side of the curtain. You may not look at the person.

Let's address the Hugh situation. He was looking at the model. Telescopes use mirrors to enlarge things and it is not incorrect to say that you are "looking at that thing through a telescope." Greg gave him one point because his drawing was terrible. He deserved a DQ.

The other thing I just noticed about this task is the word "caricature," so it's supposed to be ridiculous. Noel's is easily the best actual drawing and probably more accurate than Lolly's (despite her adding a properly colored dress). Joes is a better drawing of a human than Lolly's but at first I thought it was a caricature of himself. I'd probably put Lolly ahead for accuracy.

Mel's is really bad. So including the bonus point for getting the name, the scores are:

Hugh: 1 (-1) Joe: 3 (-1) Lolly: 4 (+1) Mel: 3 (0) Noel: 5 (0)

VT 03: Fell all the rubber ducks.

TM has done this task so many times and most people have figured out that the answer is "string." Since it's a matter of time the only question is whether someone breaks the rules. Weirdly, Alex explains they have to stay behind the rope in the studio and it's not read out on the task.

Regardless, no one tries to get around it and there doesn't seem to be any inadvertent crossing (unless you count them leaning over it to throw things).

Hugh: 5 Joe: 3 Lolly: 4 Mel: 1 Noel: 2

Live Task: Make the most juice. You must pick one fruit and one tool. If you pick the same tool as someone else, you must juice blindfolded. If you pick the same fruit as someone else, you must juice one-handed. If you pick the same fruit and tool as someone else, you must juice blindfolded, one-handed and bouncing up and down.

Everyone but Mel needed to juice one-handed and blindfolded. Joe immediately starts off by trying to pick up his bucket with two hands, realizes his mistake and drops it. I think this is mostly forgivable because I'm not even sure if he actually gets the second hand on it.

Less forgivable, Noel and Hugh just ignore the one-handed rule and use both regularly throughout the task.

I cannot fathom why they didn't get disqualified.

Hugh: DQ (-4) Joe: 4 (+1) Lolly: 3 (+2) Mel: 5 (0) Noel: DQ (-2)

Final:

Hugh: 9 (-4) Joe: 18 (+1) Lolly: 17 (+4) Mel: 15 (-1) Noel: 14 (-4)

So already a win to Joe originally achieved by Noel. Sort of hinges on whether or not Joe ought to have been disqualified in the live task. Even if he touched that bucket, I'm pretty confident he never "juiced" with both hands.

[idontknowanametouse]

Straw hats enbys (Law is here btw. Don't question it)

Tw: mentions of abuse and the trauma that comes with it

Luffy

Autistic and non-verbal. Communicates mostly through sign language, but also does other stuff so more people understand him (this headcanon is originally made by @sailing-ever-west, all credits go to them). Shouts a lot, hyposensitive to most stims, absolutely no social cues get to his head, stimming in every way possible, big autism eyes, special interest in beetles and sonic ("it doesn't exist in one piece universe-" ssh shsh shhh) does not get sarcasm or lies at all, needs a caregiver to help him on day to day life, spends a lot of energy in simple tasks, has meltdowns that include self harm when emotionally overloaded (like in Sabaody and after Marineford).

Has ADHD, due to it has a really hard time when learning new stuff that are complex. Needs to have some medicine from Chopper so he is able to function without running or drifting away on his thoughts, as it is very severe and affects much his life (I don't know much about specific symptoms of ADHD, please forgive me)

Smaller than you'd think for a 17 years old, so people think he is younger due to his complexion and baby face. Has lots of scars, from childhood and pirate years. His skin is dark and black hair is always messy.

The absolute nonbinary (agender, but he doesn't care about that) and aroace icon, an AAAAA battery (autism, adhd, agender, asexual, aromantic). Romance? Sex? Gender? What's that? Never heard of it, can you eat those? He loves his crew! And he is Luffy! Although he got used to he/him, absolutely does not care about which pronouns you use for him.

So thin people could think he does not eat enough, but that's only because he is always running through the ship and spending A LOT of energy, so the amount of food he eats does not show off on his body type.

Favorite colors are red and white, this last one cause of gear 5 (it looks like freedom).

Makes a lot of noises, and has one specific for each nakama. They just know which is who, that way, he can call them without anyone else noticing. Also, when he doesn't like someone, just stops trying to talk and goes screaming towards them, which is a little terrifying to see.

Sometimes, after Wano, he can hear Nika. He told the crew about this and everyone freaked out ("WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN LISTEN GOD?????")

Calls Ace and Sabo frequently, and, after film Red, Uta, too. Those moments, a tired Usopp is grabbed to translate to the Den Den Mushi literally everything Luffy says, which is, like, A LOT.

Bros with Zoro, likes clinging to Nami and Law, makes very big puppy eyes to Sanji when he appears on the kitchen wanting food, teaches everything he knows to Bonney (everyone thinks he is a bad influence)

Listens to any kind of music, but really likes brazillian rap and funk

Always on the same fucking clothing, washes it once a month as Luffy himself barely bathes, always on flip-flops or chinelo how we call it in Brazil

Says he is scared of nothing, but is actually scared of one thing: carnivore plants. Those little motherfuckers.

Before he ate the fruit, he was already really good at gymnastics for his age, and now he uses it to improve his fight style (everybody keeps wondering how he does these sick moves. I mean, yeah, he is made of rubber, but even rubber has limits?????)

Only Makino cut his hair before, back at his village. After a few weeks when she entered the crew, Nami had to convince her to let her do it cuz it looked like shit. She is the only one to wash it and clean it, and even though he was makes it back to looking like a mess.

When he gets tired, he usually just lays on the ground and feels Sunny move through the waves below him. It's kind. Sunny is always very kind, so was Merry.

His favorite people are his crew. If you mess with them, prepare to fucking die. After all, a captain's role is to protect the crew, and he loves them.

Usopp

Autistic, special interest in creating stuff. Hypersensitive to lights, no voice tone control, has lots of social scripts and mental notes about human behaviour, has a hard time telling if people are being sarcastic or not, has frequent meltdowns over visual stims that involve a lot of crying.

Has ADHD, BPD, anxiety and depression. Alongside his compulsive lying, it really makes it hard for him to build relationships that last long, as he feared being hurt, then sometimes ended it so it wouldn't hurt but it did anyway, and other times being abandoned. Thought it was his fault and has a lot of hidden self-loathing due to "screwing it up". Due to that, Kaya was his only friend before the straw hats, as she understood it was not his fault and also knew what it felt like to be left because of something you never asked for in the first place and didn't choose. Usopp has some downs episodes in which he really needs help to find again his will to stay alive, and those times he clings at Robin.

Even though his height is pretty average, just a bit short, his thin body makes him look smaller than he is. Is black, has many freckles, usually keeps his curly hair in a bandana because he doesn't want to spend much time with it.

Nonbinary, but just noticed now when he first heard of it. He feels like something, but it's not a man nor a woman. Very in love with Kaya, they started dating right before he left Syrup Village (I am taking this from the live action thank you very much)

Very good at fishing, one of the best ones on crew, only loses to Jinbei. Always complains that Jinbei wins just because he is stronger and can grab bigger fish.

Favorite color is yellow and orange. It's all over his room, kind of overwhelming.

Whenever he is sad, he speaks to himself as if his mom was there, telling her the adventures he and the straw hats had.

Always calls Kaya and always looks like he is about to melt in a puddle of honey because of how sweet his words are. He really loves her.

Besties with Nami, they like gossiping and being the only people with common sense on this crew. Usually creeped out by Robin, but likes her companion most of the time. Infodumps a lot with Franky about ships and building. Gets along very well with Brook for some reason absolutely nobody knows.

Loves rap and does some himself, is actually good (opposite to Franky. Sorry, dude).

Wears more loose clothes at the ship, but when he is out is always wearing the Sogeking fit in case of a battle (Chopper and Luffy were stunned).

Scared of way too nice people. Has never actually seen one before he entered the straw hats and normally they end up trying to kill them, so yeah, this kind of people doesn't seem very trustworthy.

Likes theater. This shouldn't be a surprise, but is better at it than anyone would think. Never shows his true skills and when he does, people are so stunned they don't get that's actually Usopp.

The girls use him to try make up. At the start, he protested, but ended up liking it. Now, they call him for the girl night outs so he can try their new make ups.

Likes telling the litte Merry the stories about the crew's new adventures. She is still there, after all.

Even though he calls himself a coward, is one of the bravest crew members and can and will fight you if you touch his nakama.

Chopper

Autistic reindeer (don't ask). Does not get social cues, can't differenciate human faces for some reason. Special interest in medicine. Often struggles when showing love. Has a lot of flappy hands. Meltdowns involve overload of auditory stim.

Very little and furry (not like a furry tho). Is hugged by Bonney like a teddybear. His horns often fall for some random season reason, but they always grow back, don't worry.

What the hell is a gender? Literally does not know. Only knows about sex because of medical reasons, but has no knowledge about how it might affect or not a human's gender cause he doesn't know what's a gender. Couldn't care less which pronouns you use.

Even though he is the member of the crew with the lowest bowty, he is so cute he is the most well known of them, and SOLELY BECAUSE OF HIM they get recognized as the straw hat pirates. This ended up to the plan of a- pretending he is a teddy bear (Bonney loves this option) or b- pretending to be an itty tiny baby (Robin loves this option cause she is the one to carry him in this situation)

Favorite colors are red, pink and light yellow. A cutie.

Knows some light bad words, but everyone is very wary to not swear around him because they know Robin would kill them if she heard Chopper swear.

Very attached to his medical stuff as most of them are Hiriluk's. Whenever some of them breaks or has some defect, he panicks and starts crying and running to Usopp so he fixes it.

Constantly calls Kureha, even more than the other nakama do to their families, cuz he sometimes needs some medical advice from her on those super-specific-situations-that-can-only-happen-at-one-specific-rock-in-grand-line. She always knows what to do for some reason.

Besties with Bonney for being the only kids (he's 13 btw). Very attached to Robin and Zoro, once called them mom and dad and made both have a heart attack. Always likes to be around Nami, Usopp, Vivi and Karoo as they are the five weakest and the "coward gang". Trying to learn surgery from Law, even though he knows his methods might be a little unusual.

Likes musics he calls "soft". What that means, nobody knows. He just says if a song is soft or not soft at all.

Likes wearing human clothes, unfortunately, the only ones he finds in towns are those for babies. He is mocked by Bonney because of that.

Terrified of bats. If he hears one, he will probably faint. Vampires are the worst creatures to be ever born.

Likes sewing, even though it developed solely to create clothes for him that aren't for babies. Will patch the crew's clothes, but refuses to make new ones for them.

Has opposal thumbs because. Well, he ate the human fruit. And he needs them. It's very practical, actually.

Stims by jumping and rocking back and forth, it feels nice.

Very defensive of his nakama. Even though he is not the most threatening guy in the world, he definitely can become.

Brook

Autistic, special interest in music, stims vocally literally everytime he can, has no social understanding of others, does not get sarcasm or lies, never had different facial expressions, hypersensible to emotions.

Blind since childhood, carries a white cane with them, learned to use observation haki to feel better their surroundings. Literally nobody noticed until they asked for a book in braille, and then Brook was like "what do you mean you didn't know?"

Taller human (well, kind of human), when alive was black and has managed to keep their afro, always used round sunglasses but now doesn't because. Well. They got no eyes. Was already very thin, but now is even more due to. Yknow. BEING A SKELETON.

As they spent a lot of time alone, they could find out they were neither a man nor a woman, they are way too much amazing for that. They are just the crew's musician (and grandpa)!

Nobody knows how the fuck they manage to eat, sleep and poop. Chopper tries to find out, but still can't figure how this happens. Brook isn't bothered at all, Chopper poking around them tickles (another question Chopper has, how the fuck you feel tickling without nerves or skin?!)

Don't has a favorite color, but always says it's purple when people ask. Never explained why.

Does not swear, is startled by it.

Sometimes speaks to themself due to spending such a long time alone. These moments, some member of the crew will help them and stay around until Brook feels better.

Knows how to play every fucking instrument ever. It's REALLY impressive, and nobody knows how ("I'm such a mysterious person yohohohoho")

Besties with Jinbei, Franky and Robin. Likes bothering Law and making him try to kill them, it's fun. Lets Robin teach Bonney biology by letting her disassemble and try to assemble them again (Bonney feels bad if she assembles them the wrong way, but Chopper always calms her down by putting everything on the right place).

Loves every music ever made. Even bad songs will sound good if they play it, it's their superpower.

Wears victorian-like clothes that were fashion literally 50 years ago. Refused to change their closet even after leaving Thriller Bark, with just a few fun additions.

Very scared of ghost stories. Some will make them even pass out.

Very good at logic puzzles, those kinds of charades of, like, "A needs to sit on a bus with eleven seats but has fought with half of the people and B is in love with them and wants to stay near them and C", yeah, they rock this shit.

Sometimes ends up breaking a bone. The first time everyone panicked, but Chopper managed to put it in a cast and it was alright.

They love touching stuff that are making sounds at the moment. The vibrations feel really nice.

Not the biggest fan of killing people, but doesn't mind causing some heart attacks to those who have hurt their crew.

Law

Autistic and nonverbal, used to communicate through sign language as a kid but then changed it to writing because of Cora. Special interest is Germa 66 fandom stuff. No facial expressions. Absolutely hates bread due to it feeling awful. Hypersensitive to touch. Does not know and does not want to social interact. Has shutdowns in which he can't move.

Has PTSD due to the destruction of White Town and Cora's death. Often has flashbacks and will sometimes go on a violent frenzy, at these moments needs to stay in a closed space so he can get out of it.

Has dark skin, but there are a few small white patches that look a lot like vitiligo as scars from the white lead. Black eyes, hair and goatee, has many tatoos and scars through their body, a little taller than average and kind of strong. Has a tatoo of the name Cora over his heart* (no, it's not corny, shut up).

Transmasc and nonbinary, found out a few months after leaving Donquixote Pirates. Chose Law as it was close enough to his deadname so it would still match with Lami's. Also aroace, very grossed out by romance, PDA and sex. Finds all of these to be pretty stupid.

Thought the straw hats were gonna hate them because of the whole "we are not allies" thing and just tolerate their presence because Luffy helped them after they lost the Heart Pirates. He was really surprised with how kind everyone (well, some were not kind, but still nice) was to them, and, for the first time in a long, long while, let themself cry, alone, on the bedroom, while thinking about their crew.

Favorite color is black. He is very emo. Vivi keeps calling him an e-boy in secret. He can never know.

Would swear a lot if he had the energy to do so solely by writing. These times, he uses his favorite sign, the middle finger.

One day, Franky saw him praying for his loved ones, alone. He didn't say anything, but nobody complain when he added a room to the ship for personal praying and paying respects to deceased loved ones.

Almost never makes noises, just when caught off guard (lil surprise exclamations), and because of his writing communication, also developed the habit to register everything that happened. Heard the stories of the crew and is now writing down everything, an unintentional diary writer.

For some reason, Yamato really wants a spar with them, but Law keeps saying no. He feels better around Robin, Vivi and Zoro, as they never bother him. Needs to keep his door locked so Luffy, Usopp, Nami and Bonney won't borrow (steal) his shit all the time.

Likes rock, yeah, but has a special love for indie, more fandom-niche songs, like the phenomenom of "Harpy Hare".

Wears solely emo, goth or punk clothes, nothing else (yes, his hat fits these styles perfectly). Spends a long time chosing their clothes, actually.

Scared of dogs. Just doesn't like the fact they are too hyperactive, unpredictable and have sharp teeth (maybe that's why he is a lil scared of Yamato too).

Learned to play some ukulele as a kid, but is not the best at it now. Has only played to the heart pirates and the straw hats, as he never had the chance to do so for Cora.

Uses eyeliner, but few people actually realize it. The girls did, and want him to teach how to do one so nice like his.

Due to being a surgeon, is VERY aware of diseases and dirt, and has forced everyone to take showers and change clothes regularly because his ass is NOT staying in a ship where people bath once a month.

Has lots of fidget toys he keeps on his pockets. Whenever they get nervous, they just pick them up and nobody asks.

Is afraid of losing this crew too, so gets even more merciless than before towards people that want to hurt any of the straw hats.

*I think I'm really clever because of that cuz Corazon is the spanish for Coração which is the portuguese for Heart so it's even more corny Law does not know about the romane languages logic and let it be visible for me mwahahahahahaha