#this is my therapy and i'm making it everyone's problem | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

great-now-im-confused · 1 day ago

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Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.

Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.

"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.

Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)

I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.

I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.

I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.

So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.

But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)

I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better

I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.

#truly am sorry op #and for how long and rambly it is #i just needed a place to say it and your post just happed to be the place to do so

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violaobanion · 8 months ago

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ANTHONY BOYLE as HARRY CROSBY in MASTERS OF THE AIR (2024), part nine

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astridthevalkyrie · 10 months ago

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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh

long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional

#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now #and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him #they're both going to the correct doctors #but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is #jokes that i'm faking it #i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself #which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't #but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was #so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time #and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space #i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me #i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems #i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY #the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS #i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind #and not awkward or mean #i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't #and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this #i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware #but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit #i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone #i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child #my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow #what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it

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la0hu · 1 month ago

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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god

#p #i'm actually sick of making room for people like this #it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7 #would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize #which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation #it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw #and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that #it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem #the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice #sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to #i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong #she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care #she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit #i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up #because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview #but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones #but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related #maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community #have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness #you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it #even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself

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gxlden-angels · 1 year ago

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Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)

It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.

I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.

It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great

#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health #whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart #he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful #I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism #it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick #my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive #cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond #and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable #but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better #Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve #like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable #I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't #control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't #I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it #I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but #they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever #Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too #Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3

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moonlight-eternal · 5 months ago

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Oh! I'm sorry for not explaining; I suppose you're pretty new to this world and the options it gives for transgender folks like you. It's true, hormones can't make your voice higher. But there's a series of guided vocal exercises that are designed specifically to help women like you sound more conventionally feminine!

The downside is that it takes a while, and a lot of effort. And in order to improve, you need to listen to your own voice. Which, ironically, might make you feel worse. Transition is something that's personal to you, and there's no singular right way to do it. Still, please keep it in mind.

Where might I find these exercises? What library must I venture to in search of this new skill?

Even should the cost be great, I have time unlimited and am well accustomed to the particular pain of this existence. I can cast illusions of my sister's voice if I really must, but such is difficult in daily speech and reservèd I keep that skill for the guidance of Undead through a programmed image. To achieve a similar sound without magic seemeth unthinkable, yet this world is filled with wonders. I am here to learn all that I can, and this shall be no different.

#pokeblog rp #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #rotomblr #ooc: trans voice training is SO hard and you're absolutely right that I can't fucking listen to my own voice even after doing it #ooc: it never sounds right no matter how much my voice coach told me she thought I sounded like a cis woman #ooc: I also learned that the slight speech impediment my parents put me in speech therapy for in elementary school never actually went away #ooc: which makes it vastly harder still to listen to recordings of myself because it sounds wrong regardless of the genderedness #ooc: I've been incomprehensible to everyone for decades and nobody bothered to tell me #ooc: the real problem is that it's not possible to share the qualia of a cis woman hearing her own voice as she speaks #ooc: like with the bone conduction to the ears and everything #ooc: there's no way to give someone else the knowledge of what it feels like from the inside; to know if I'm replicating it or not #ooc: I hope Gwyndolin can push through it all because I'd rather just use magic to overlay a cis voice while pretending to speak

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emmenai-kalliston · 7 months ago

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no rizz just constantly "jokingly" tell him how fucking hot he is

#it's literally like: 'wah Mizu is soo attractive to me... btw have i ever told you I've always thought he looks kinda like you?'#'you'd look so sexy in that white shirt haha'#which btw it's the kind of stuff I've told him since forever. i '''jokingly''' had a List of Reasons Why You're Sexy lol #(which includes things like 'ive seen you repair a faucet with your bare hands' btw. like woah)#i just?? never realised?? how hard i was crushing?? because i was too obsessed w my former best friend/main crush #another friend of mine told me this is a good sign. i think he's right #still i am panicking over this crush. over liking people in general atm #i want to go to therapy tbh #how did i end up talking therapy?? i was talking about the boy i like??#anyways. thanks to whoever reads this & sorry if I'm oversharing I guess #I just have to retrieve several months of unrealised simping i guess hahaha #personal #cal has a crush and makes it everyone's problem once again

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garden-eel-draws · 1 year ago

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I'm watching an autistic youtuber talk about stuff right now, and she brought up make-up and how it can be a sensory issue for a lot of autistic people and I had a sudden realization like "Oh! Is that why?"

Because people expected me to start getting into make-up sometime around middle school, and my cousins certainly did, but for some reason I just...couldn't. Make-up was fine as a (very) occasional element to playing dress-up, but that was it. Lipstick could be fun (until I chewed or licked it all off because it got annoying within an hour), but the idea of wearing annoying powdery stuff on my cheeks all the time was unpleasant and the idea of touching my eyes with literally anything was a gigantic NO.

I didn't even think about it; my natural sensory aversion to having stuff on my skin that I wasn't allowed to touch or clean off steered me away without me realizing, like how I regularly forget the foods that set off my sensory issues are even a thing I can buy. Putting on make-up is just utterly outside my realm of usual behavior because of how my brain works, and I only figured that out today!

#fyi i'm self-diagnosed bc therapy is expensive‚ but my brain problems are fairly loud and clear as these things go #my mom was just so good at helping me manage it even tho neither of us knew what autism was that i didn't realize till i was an adult #anyway yeah it's wild to me when i realize i have an automatic sensory avoidance that apparently isn't standard behavior #i guess i lowkey assumed everyone had to fight not to attack their make-up and just had more self-control than me??? honestly idk lol #autism #neurodivergent things #eel speak

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binch-i-might-be · 2 years ago

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I should have driven home myself

#father has informed me that everyone actually has to work 40 hours a week and i can't live off of 20 #very cool thanks i didn't know this before #said he didn't understand what my problem was. told me to get therapy. as if i hadn't tried #told me to stop clacking my fisget cube #actually maybe i don't want to live maybe i want to die #'do you want to take pills for all your life?' idk man if they make me want to not kill myself MAYBE SO #i'm biting every single neurotypical person ever rn #he also helpfully reminded me that no one want to hire someone who will be unreliable due to mental health #so i guess i'll just be homeless and die then #i guess i should just try harder to be normal and healthy and work 40 stupid hours every week of my useless miserable life #cani get a lobotomy somewhere is the question #maybe then i could be fucking normal #just cut out the diseased lart of my brain and send me off to work ten hour shifts in the fucking salt mines #anyway. i'm a useless member of society and i deserve to die in the streets is what i'm hearing #thanks i wasn't thinking this myself already at all #vent

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astrxealis · 2 years ago

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sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#unfortunately i doubt i will ever get therapy bcs i have this. thing. idk. but i believe in myself to just rely on myself?#and yeah i uhh can go on more about that BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS sorry i suck at explaining things. anyways #humans. interesting. i am fascinated by humans and myself and i'm tired of typing now GOODBYE anyways xiv music is so fucking good #and also idk how to interact w others sorry ..... i am scared of getting close to people bcs everyone i've grown close to has ended up #leaving me or i mess up! but tbh it's better now i think and also not as bad as i think but sorry i still have bad issues with. that #me saying i don't want to type anymore and then proceed to rapidly type out so many words oopsies #pls just do not PERCEIVE ME !! unless you want to ig but idk why you'd want to do that uhm #yk i like tumblr most out of all social medias bcs it feels like i can... sort of just be my weird self here! and it's not fully nice #and i still have anxiety problems and overthinking problems and whatnot which is evident by my 100+ notifs i havent checked since #christmas but that's not the point (?) idk whats the point honestly uhhhh nvm (??)#OH I LOVE FF SO MUCH tbh it's w/o a doubt still my favorite series ever but drake/nier is also up there for sure #which i think is amazing bcs i have yet to finish a game. and ive only like played idk 5 hours of replicant and automata #and then ive already spoiled myself on important aspects of all games but that helps ngl uh. i could explain but im tired of typing #ANYWAYS GOD actually noehgjbsejhbghjes i really suck w interacting w others i really wish i were better at all that #im not super introverted or shy im just kinda awkward and anxious but im a fun person and all and idk #and tbh its interesting thinking abt my personality... some parts of me havnt changed at all from a bit (/pos) like my lively. aspect of my #personality !! i was a bundle of energy and a little annoying (perhaps unintentionally but now i think its a bit more on purpose lol)#but the only person who really sees my true self is me. and the closest to that is lune. but even i dont know who i really am #and yeah... wnvr im like woa ill make more friends !! and then when i have the opportunities i suddenly dont care anymore IT SUCKS #anyways i think i have Opportunities now again so lets see haha ?? at least uhh in school. its like 2nd sem and i dont rlly have friends #as usual haha that sounds so sad help BUT its not like im disliked im just rlly quiet and shy at school..... throwback to 7th grade tho #that was rlly the worst but also now is just as bad in a diff sense but back then i cldnt talk w my crush at ALL i didnt speak at all im so #sorry about that HELPPP I RLLY JUST CLDNT SPEAK anyways moving on in my class rn i do have a group of sorts. like #we're grpmates wnvr theres grpworks and we can pick which is nice! ive been classmates w em all b4 and theyre the cool kids #but in the more fandom sense and one used to be a close friend of my twin and of mine too by extent and then the other was someone #who knew me when i was more extroverted so yeah uhhh anyways #OKAY ALMOST MAX TAGS im DONE rambling. bye. hopefully. bye. oh god

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swankpalanquin · 2 months ago

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it's like once a week my mom has to unload all her issues onto me when i'm like Literally going through a major life change and it means nothing to her compared to every tiny thing that bothers her every single day cos she refuses to be an active participant in her own life and i'm extremely over it

#i'm just Very Tired of having to be like her outlet... like sorry you don't have friends to complain to #but i'm trying to like figure my own shit out??#like on the outside she seems to be okay with everything but obviously things are bothering her at least on the subconscious level #that she is not dealing with and is making everyone else's problem and its like... i cannot be the one to fix this for once #god i wish i could just move away.......#well i know what topic to bring up at my next therapy session

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medicinemane · 3 months ago

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Anyway, hope you're all doing well

I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing

In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man

It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats

It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way

Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing

I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step

So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time

I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd

You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true

I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct

Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?

Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward

Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive

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