#this is my fucking fate i guess. just a plot device to make the people around me feel bad for a bit before moving on.

[nexus-nebulae]

i dislike sacrifice characters

[lexi-the-demon-69]

Alright, I'll state my full opinion on the mystic flour update:

It is the worst update of 2024 by FAR! The story felt like a shitty 2015 Sonic game, every single character is an idiotic version of themselves, Mystic Flour is the worst villain this game has ever conceived, we were robbed of any new Dark Choco content, Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip are nothing but plot devices for Dark Cacao's shitty character arc, the other two soldiers did literally nothing, appalling repetition, and so SO much more.

Every single character in the story feels like a dumbed-down version of themselves for the sake of a sad scene to happen. Hell yeah, sacrificing a character's intelligence for the sake of angst... Dare I say, this update ruined how I look at some of the characters, especially Carrow. My girl did not deserve that blatant character assassination and deserved so much better than to be boiled down to a background character. The same thing goes for Crunchy Chip. He may be an idiot, but he's not this level of stupid. I swear, whenever another Dark Cacao update happens, they better fix this problem. Because right now, I can't even look at Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip without feeling salty.

Dark Cacao... oh my god, where do I start... He was written so fucking poorly. He suffers from the same fate as Carrow and Crunchy, but worse. Where the hell did his paranoia and sternness even go?! WHY the fuck would he even LET his soldiers eat ANYTHING from Beast Yeast?! Did they really have to nerf his intelligence THAT hard?! Not to mention that he even had the patience to let Mystic even TALK!!! Bro, why the fuck are you even listening to her?! Just bitch slap her and leave! The fact that Golden Cheese didn't even need help to obtain her awakened form, while Dark Cacao needed help from his dragons is beyond fucking dumb. I'm not even gonna talk about the dragons because I have too many opinions on that alone...

I've already talked about how much I hate Mystic Flour as a character and villain, but I'll repeat it again because I like slandering her to the teeth. Not only is she boring to watch, not only does she have no character, but she's also nothing but a shitty plot device and we know literally almost NOTHING about her past; other than she was kind, the master of the ivory pagoda, and she fell off when people started to demand more of her. Bro, all she needed to do was learn boundaries and none of this would've happened. Like, what're they gonna do? You're the master of the ivory pagoda! Just tell them no and move on. I'm so tired of people saying she's an interesting character when she's nothing but wasted potential! She could've been apathetic, but she could ALSO have a personality. Mystic Flour is the literal incarnation of the song "This is the Thanks I get?!" from that one shit movie, "Wish" and I mean that in the most insulting way possible.

Y'know, the more I think about how bad the writing is... maybe it's a good thing Dark Choco didn't show up in the story if it meant the writers would do him dirty, too... I guess Dark Choco saw this shit show go down from afar and decided he wasn't gonna let himself fall so far from grace like his father and the others did on the writing scale. Which I'm not mad about. He's happy with his banger magic candy and he'll take it in stride. Besides, he already stole the show when his king version showed up in the story and that's all I need lol.

I have stated before that I'm working on a rewrite of this dogshit story and I might make a Wattpad book on it whenever I start writing. I already have so many different ideas for it! I've been listening to the Sonic Frontiers soundtrack for inspiration and bro, the entire soundtrack is what I wanted the Dark Cacao update to be like. Pure fucking HYPE that doesn't feel unearned or forced. So, stay tuned for the rewrite! I'll be posting it soon whenever I find the time to start writing!

Have this meme

The fact that I've seen predictions of Beast Yeast episodes 3 and 4 better than the actual story itself kinda says something about this episode's writing... (the main problem is episode 3, 4 was alright for the most part)

I am hoping to God that whenever another Dark Cacao update happens, they don't dumb them down for the sake of the story making sense. (they did Caramel Arrow and Dark Cacao SO dirty) If you guys wanna hear my full opinions on episodes 3-4 please let me know lol. Because I think they're dogshit.

(Also, I'm working on other art things too, don't worry qwq)

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 130 Rundown

Inuyasha: We’re still on the string of post-Hakurei filler but at least this one’s kind of dealing with the fallout of some of the events there. Mostly centered around the dramatic shenanigans that happened between Miroku and Sango, this episode kind of pulls on the thread that it’s odd their relationship just kinda reset after that. But yeah there’s a village of women kidnapping dudes and feeding them to paintings, it’s kinda weird shit and there’s a subplot about a dude looking for his fiancée but basically we get a cliffhanger of Sango about to be brainwashed by the painting cult so we can do the ‘oh my god they love each other but they’re fighting’ plot that Yashahime did like four times.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Still breaking down the Sensui reveal from last episode, we get the full backstory of Sensui breaking into Sakyo’s Speed Grapher style Roppongi demon torture club and having his Saturday Morning Cartoon view of the world shattered and then decided to recruit as many people as he could to the ‘humans are assholes’ bandwagon. I do kinda like how we’re still incorporating parts of past arcs to explain some of the history between Sakyo and Koenma to make the world feel fleshed out and explain how Sakyo and the Black Black Club managed to get their hands on so many demon bodyguards for their demonic slavery ring. However the exposition is cut short when Sensui and Sniper decide to jump into their own backstory explanation and try to off Seaman, revealing they were tracking him and caught his doubts on tape. Surprise surprise it’s Kuwabara they’re after because man can’t get a powerup without it being a plot device to actually help the bad guys. Though Seaman seems to be really dragging his feet on getting this info to everyone and Yusuke and co. go to confront Sensui in a good old street standoff and they tell him it’s actually only two days until the demon portal opens and just when it seems like Yusuke made a move Sensui can’t predict, he snaps to block it and is about to deck Yusuke because you can’t have shit in this anime.

Fate/Apocrypha: We continue the final battle matchups and we’ve got Semiramis vs Mordred which for the poster girl of the series giving her like one and a half fights the whole show I kinda expected more but okay. Apparently Semiramis can just like flood poison everywhere and negate Command Seals because… reasons, idk she doesn’t explain except saying ‘yeah that doesn’t work’ because Semiramis is a shitty DM. But yeah Mordred fights her and they get Lion Dude in to give her her epi-pen or whatever and it’s another cool-looking Getsuga Tensho fight and Mordred’s motivation is different every Fate scene I see her in so idk what to make of her character but she’s badass and kills a billion giant snakes so that’s all I could really ask for but Lion Dude dies in the fight and I guess Mordred just like loses the will to live because she dies immediately after that despite Servants usually being able to stick it out for a bit after their Masters die and Lion Dude implying she’d have time to make another contract if she wanted like I get she’s not Archer Emiya and isn’t THAT self-sufficient but you’d think it’d be not like immediate death after him. Fate seems to explain its rules a lot and then go ‘fuck it’ for whatever’s most dramatic so idk what to think. Then we have Shakespear vs Jeanne where Shakespeare just narrates Jeanne’s backstory at her and like given Jeanne’s backstory is historical fact instead of mythological fiction I feel like hers is the one we least need narrated to us but okay. She gets bored of the Christmas Carol treatment pretty quick and he’s like ‘oh boy you killed people and died doesn’t that suck’. Anyway he brings out Saber Gilles and is all ‘hey bro you killed people but like Sieg, what’s up with that’ and it’s like… fuck off bro she didn’t say she liked killing or thought of the people she killed as nothing, plus of course she’s gonna react a bit different to a dude she knows to still be alive being murdered in front of her like Shakespeare really is a terrible writer. Though given Jeanne is literally of two minds on the subject as a bastardized historical figure and a horny French college waifu I guess it makes a little more sense for her to be somewhat conflicted.

Speed Grapher: We’re coming up to the finale! Japan’s currently in chaos because every single person on a management level for any government position is stuck down in Suitengu’s fuckdungeon and the Prime Minister is dead, makes me wonder how the place functioned while everyone was at the club in the first place like you’re telling me EVERY SINGLE person of import was a part of the Roppongi Club? I guess it doesn’t have to be all of them but they seem to paint it that way. And judging by a cutaway we see later they’re still down there fucking each other, like it’s been like two days and they still down there doing the humpty hump, like I kinda feel bad for all the sex workers Suitengu hired for this like I doubt they signed up for this shit but we saw last episode Suitengu doesn’t necessarily put high value on their lives either and is kinda too far gone to care at this point. But yeah with the Japanese Government essentially non-function, it’s time for everyone’s favorite villain to step in… ANIME AMERICA. God I love when Anime America is the villain in these things like it’s just random shadowy capitalists doing shit for money and odd pastiches of George W. Bush and god bless Anime America. Basically the plan is to bomb Suitengu’s building and then sell Japan the weapons they just used to bomb the fuck out of them so they can defend themselves in case Blood Sephiroths decide to attack again. Knowing Kagura’s still there Saiga decideds to storm the place and seeing as he’s get Mangekyo Sharingan blindness going on atm Ginza decides her character arc is complete and she’s done being a hedonist and she’s gonna help him. Suitengu and Kagura have a nice little chat about how the existential nightmares that are their lives have progressed and Kagura’s made her peace while Suitengu just wants the pain to end. Also they find out if Kagura survives if they can induce her first period the hormone imbalance will throw off her Euphoria Factor enough o possible stop it from killing her which… idk what that’ll do about the tumor but okay sure, that was something that was foreshadowed that they were trying to keep Kagura a child despite dressing her up as a woman and changing her birth certificate so she could marry Suitengu. I feel kinda weird about how much of an easy out this is for Kagura’s terminal condition but at the same time like I said it was foreshadowed and I do kinda like how the symbolism is for Kagura to not die from the greed of her parents is to just… become an adult, that’s a neat little metaphor. So yeah Ginza fights off Tsujido’s group while Saiga goes to confront Suitengu who has apparently cashed out all the money the unregulated government and corporate infrastructure of Japan have invested in the Tennozu group which is apparently something you can just do I guess. But yeah his plan is that once the Americans bomb him and Kagura into the stone age that the Euphoria Factor will die and take enough out of the Japanese Economy to tank the fucking thing and wreck Capitalism. I just kinda love this plan like no notes, excellent plan bro, just stick all the millionaires in a fuckdungeon and burn all the money, Capitalism over. I get this weird feeling this is where that scene from the Dark Knight of the Joker burning the huge stack of money was inspired from but I may be talking out of my ass, god this show is bonkers the whole way through and I love it.

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

One Piece Chapters 220-228

Hey... you know what rhymes with “two twenty-eight?” You denty fate!!!

Chapter 220 - A Walk on the Seafloor

Everyone is having fun destroying priceless antiques... <3

Wow, I guess Lufpy isn’t the only pirate captain who’s into that sort of thing. I guess it simply comes with the job.

Huh... I guess cameras DO exist in this setting, huh? I mean. I guess I HAVE seen photographs. I guess? Have I??? I can’t remember for sure anymore...

That’s what Lufpy needs for his crew next. A photographer. The musician will obviously be strong enough to kill the final boss in a single attack, so in the meantime a photographer would be great...

Hey wait. Does Nico Robin have a job yet? Everyone on the crew needs a job. Someone should give her a camera.

SANJI HAS A CELLPHONE

I can’t believe Sanji gets his own cellphone and Nico Robin doesn’t even get a camera. She’s the oldest, you know. If anyone’s mature enough to handle having a camera, it’s Nico Robin.

Masaru Kong arrives. Eaten By A Turtle

Chapter 221 - Monsters

hehe nipples

The sky goes dark... and everyone turns out to be fine... how foreboding...

me when those hippies at nintendo tried to give mario a newfangled villain to fight like the old one wasn’t good enough!!!! >:(

Masaru Kong is ready to be a new antagonist, but three huge silhouettes overshadow him... LITERALLY! LITERALLY!!!

Everyone leaves.

Everyone kicks Masaru Kong.

Chapter 222 - The Giant Novice

Nami tries to remind everyone of what the plot actually is. Instead of that happening successfully, Nico Robin hands her a plot device.

Hmm... they’re both Competent Women... they’ll have to battle for dominance... and on that day, Nami will surely lose... Haha! That’s sad! I guess that’s why people like Nico Robin so much though. It’s because she stole Nami’s soul (future tense).

Hmm... they’re going to “Jaya,” huh? Next they should go to “Jaava”. Hmm... come to think of it, One Piece is basically exactly like Wonderland Adventures: Planet of the Z-Bots! There’s islands instead of planets, and cops instead of Z-Bots, and instead of trying to save the world from Z-Bots, they’re trying to find the One Piece, I guess??? Is that what they’re doing??? And instead of being a sequel to something about pirates, it IS something about pirates. And instead of Jeeboos... uh... I dunno. I forget what I’m even talking about. This entire paragraph is Content for No One.

There’s a guy who kills birds because he thinks birds should be put out of their misery. Nami and Usopp both think he doesn’t exist. Nami and Usopp are friends in the strangest of ways. You wouldn’t think one character would be able to be part of both the Nami-Usopp friend group and the Lufpy-Usopp-Tony Tony Chopper friend group, but, well... I guess that’s just Usopp for you. Although I guess Lufpy also slots not only into the Lufpy-Usopp-Tony Tony Chopper group, but also into the Lufpy-Zoro-Sanji group. So I guess Lufpy is even more of a social butterfly than Usopp, because 3 + 3 is more than 2 + 3.

what the fuck am i reading here. this little text box gets increasingly baffling super fast

Anyway, Jaya is Bad People Town. There’s a gambler with white dreadlocks who murders anyone who’s better at gambling than he is. Kaiji should just do that. By extension, I guess that means Keiichi should just do that. Read my newly-started Higurashi posts for more details on why Keiichi should murder little girls. ...Actually I’ve barely included any details, but you can use your imagination to pretend I did.

Well, he gets murdered by someone even worse at gambling than he is. There are downsides to this kind of thing too, it seems... may the worst gambler be the last man left alive.

...OH MAN WAIT ARE WE GETTING A ONE PIECE GAMBLING ARC??? I WANNA SEE THAT!!!

Chapter 223 - I Promise Never to Fight in This Town

Lufpy and Zoro leave, so Nami leaves, so Sanji wants to leave, so Usopp and Tony Tony Chopper force Sanji not to leave. Nico Robin is using her “mysterious untouchable villain” aura to already have been gone before any of this even happened.

Nami makes Lufpy promise not to do anything violent while on Jaya. I see where this is going! They’re going to play The Floor Is Lava, except Fighting is going to be the Floor. I guess that means Troy is going to leave. If Nami is Abed, then that makes... hmm... Usopp... Troy? I can’t believe Usopp would leave the crew! I thought better of you, Usopp.

Anyway, the main trio meets the Pestilence Horseman of the Apocalypse. But Pestilence is a freaking fake one, so he’s actually Conquest. That’s bad!!! He’ll totally try to rip off Lufpy’s style later, in his quest for conquest. But Lufpy can’t fight him!!! That’s the rule of The Floor is Lava. That means Nami is going to have to kill this man.

The main trio is next accosted by a fast man and some sexy people. Lufpy hates sex and wants to commit murder. Why did Lufpy look at naked women earlier then!!! Plot hole!!!

Lufpy changes his mind about the sexy people when they give him money, but Nami doesn’t want Lufpy to have money. That’s fair. If Lufpy was rich enough to pay off his debt to Nami, then he wouldn’t work for Nami anymore. Then Lufpy would have to leave the cast of One Piece due to not working for her anymore. No one wants that!

Woah... there’s actually WAY MORE SEXY PEOPLE.

Nami decides that this arc will only be 50% of its maximum length.

Lufpy has a new rival who will oppose him in the Food Critic Lufpy Arc. That’s what this arc is I guess.

Chapter 224 - Do Not Dream

Lufpy’s head gets slammed into the counter, so he’s about to lose The Floor is Lava. Nami quickly prevents this by making the entire room erupt with laughter.

Woah... other pirates ALSO go around doing random spontaneous recruits. I wonder what kind of corporate merger will end up causing Lufpy’s whole crew to get absorbed...

Nami decides that The Floor is Lava is now canceled. Lufpy decides it’s not canceled. He has more authority, so everyone has to play it forever now.

Chapter 225 - People’s Dreams

Lufpy and Zoro do really well at The Floor is Lava!!! Lufpy’s Food Critic Rival congratulates them.

Woah... Usopp was friends with a GIR? Does that make Usopp Invader Zim?! But... Invader Zim tried to conquer the world through violent invasion, not to mention all those young children he disemboweled! I thought better of you, Usopp.

Chapter 226 - Shoujou, the Salvage King of the Seafloor?

Eh... this chapter is about Shoujou? Not Shoujo? So it’s not about young girls? I see... I see...

Oh man, you’re SO close, Tony Tony Chopper... I see that you know how to say “D”... and you know how to say “CALL A OCTOR”... c’mon, just put those two together... I know you can do it, buddy... I know you can form a coherent sentence... I believe in you :D

Nami arbitrarily genders superpowers XD XD XD

^funneiest jthing i’ve ever said on this blog^

Meanwhile, while everyone else was being useless on-panel, Nico Robin was being useful off-panel. I see why everyone loves her! She’s useful.

Ah... it’s Black Sperm... since Lufpy is Saitama, that means Lufpy is gonna be this guy’s friend...

Woah... Shoujou is the most fetishy pirate captain of all... and he’s NOT young girls!!!

Shoujou’s superpower is sound manipulation. Now THAT’S a superpower MEN are allowed to have!!! Also he’s Masaru Kong’s brother. So I guess that makes his full name Shoujou Kong.

Chapter 227 - Noland the Liar

A liar, huh? So we’re doing Usopp again...

The crew has reached the house of a strange guy. He has Sanji’s favorite book. It’s a children’s story: Some guy said there was money. Lots of people died. There wasn’t money. He said “I guess something happened to the money”. He died.

This book was a true story... that’s why it sucked. Unlike One Piece, which isn’t a true story. That’s why it’s good.

Nami reads the story: “Usopp died horribly and his character arc was cut off unsatisfyingly. The end.” Usopp doesn’t like that version of the story but I do. I guess Usopp just has worse taste in stories than I do! I thought better of you, Usopp.

Sanji is sick of saving-Lufpy-from-drowning duty, so he makes Usopp do it. Meanwhile, Major Armstrong attacks!

Major Armstrong is the sibling of Masaru Kong and Shoujou Kong... making his real name... you guessed it... Majorarmstr Kong! Hmm... now the question is, between Masaru and Shoujou, which one is the girlboss and which one is the dainty piano-wielding maiden who’ll get cut from Brotherhood for time?

Chapter 228 - Mont Blanc Cricket, the Last Boss of the Monkey Mountain Allied Force

...bro

Oh, maybe the other Kongs aren’t Majorarmstr Kong’s brothers. They call him boss. ...Well, you don’t need to be biologically related to be part of the DK Crew.

Hmm... seems like Noland Kong isn’t that similar to Lufpy then. Unless, of course... this is foreshadowing for when Lufpy dies with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Bah, Usopp and his toxic masculinity! He’s (secretly) even worse than Sanji when it comes to sexism! I thought better of you, Usopp. But I shouldn’t have. Because... you’ve been scum from the beginning, haven’t you? Die, Usopp.

wait i don’t think that’s the takeaway i’m supposed to have from this backstory reveal

So yeah anyways the backstory reveal was that Majorarmstr Kong is looking for money as a kind of psychological warfare against someone dead. And the other members of the DK Crew are people who think he’s cool.

Hmm... Tony Tony Chopper is a furry... and now they’re going to use a sky fish to get to a sky island? One Piece is rapidly becoming Pirate101.

[gayninjas]

(1/2) Okay so I'm still new to Naruto so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Also, this is long. I'm sorry. I'll split it.😅

Out of the K12 kids, Naruto, Sasuke and Neji were fucked over by Konoha (either by their clans, the old man hokage or the villagers). I'd include Rock Lee but I think he was just bullied as a small kid for being... weird? or not having chakra?? And he worked super hard and that didn't last long.

Anyway, I've read plenty of reviews about how the series ended poorly and how messages like "you can change your fate" were disregarded. That the the Naruto franchise would've done better staying an actiony, ninja shonen that focused more on changing the shinobi system instead of turning into the forced romantic shojo that it became. I agree with all of that.

And I said that to say this, I really am disgusted with how things went for Naruto, Sasuke and Neji. Naruto doesn't receive any apologies from those who should give him one (like the villagers! I think the old hokage bastard died so.. no apology there I guess). Like, I know Iruka apologizes to him and I don't know why. I know Iruka was Naruto's first bond, what'd he and only him have to apologize for.

Not only that but Naruto just accepts everyone and then hides the fact that those in charge of Konoha planned the Uchiha massacre!!! (Does Sasuke know he's doing that?) It's ridiculous to just hide the genocide committed by the state (because he's patriotic? Wants to stick to the status quo as much as possible while trying to change things??). And it's somehow worse to hide it when you have this intensely close relationship with the lone survivor of that genocide.

Like, why write Naruto like that? To receive no actual closure (imo) on how he grew up in Konoha and tp make him a top tier bootlicker

included the second part of the ask

(2/2) With Sasuke, that genocide happened and he was just left to his own devices on the outskirts. And he's treated as a villian for justifiably wanting to "destroy" Konoha and wanting a revolution. It gets under my skin how much the K12 kids don't give a fuck about stuff like this. (I like all of them (except for 2) and stuff like this sours my opinion on them)

Not only is he treated as a villain, it appears that no one pay's for the Uchiha massacre (except for Itachi?) which is bullshit. It's just swept under the rug. And THEN Sasuke is written to become another Konoha bootlicker??! He has to go off on his own to atone for his sins? What!

And finally Neji. He died as he knew he would, for the main house family. I will hate that forever and always. His destiny didn't change. Little!Neji in the chunin exams exposing how fucked up the Hyuuga clan is, no one (except Naruto?) cares. He gave Hinata a chance to back out before he killed her, which was allowed, she didn't, he was about to end it and then 4 teachers(?) jump in to save her because, special treatment. Can't let the (former) Hyuuga heir die, she means more than the other kids.

And he was treated as an antagonist for being rightfully pissed off. But no, he just gets over it I guess after befriending Naruto, the Hyuuga clan continues with its slavery bullshit and he dies sacrificing himself for Hinata. What a way to go.

And I know they don't address the slavery Neji wanted to abolish in Boruto. They just ignore it and act like everything's fine and dandy. Naruto isn't one of those series where things just happen offscreen and we know it's cool, right? They can't just expect ppl to think the Hyuuga clan changed right? They don't even focus on them, Neji died and so did any relevance to the Hyuugas because Hinata doesn't do anything.

(Had Neji lived I know he also would've been turned into a major bootlicker too)

In conclusion I can't stand how these 3 boys were screwed over by the village in many ways and then screwed over by bad writing. It's irritating. I love Naruto but there's so many problems with it.

i tried to be concise, hope i covered everything!

I agree that if the Naruto franchise didn’t end off with lackluster romance plots and instead gave closure for all the things they left open ended after the end of the war it would have made a much better ending to the series.

Kishimoto had even admitted he had trouble writing romance in as he hadn’t ever planned on it. He never considered it that relevant so when they did include it, the whole thing felt so forced and awkward it was even kinda ooc for Naruto and Sasuke (scenes like narutos flat ‘im not in touch with my emotions’ reaction to hinatas confession that butchered his character were an absolute pain to sit through)

Nejis death being an awful plot devise to develop NH was a terrible move, like neji sacrificed himself for someone who moments later held narutos hand and went "his hands are warm"??

Don’t even wanna list anything I dislike about ss cause their marriage is so lifeless i feel dead thinking about it.

As for the villagers, they were happy to alienate a poor kid who couldn’t fend for himself and let him believe he was a demon and was deserving of it all but then started licking his boots when they realized they had the equivalent of a nuclear weapon desperate to protect them, and even then they weren’t remorseful of their actions, its all very sickening really,

I think the whole end of Naruto was handled in a way that went against the characters values? like I can easily imagine Naruto being rightfully enraged at the people who issued the massacre of hundreds of innocents, and he wouldn’t ever think of hiding anything like that, especially from the victim who was also his friend??.

How they wrote sasuke as someone who now fucking bows down and becomes a soldier for a village that destroyed him and has done nothing for him is just absolute bs. Although with sasuke, even if one argues his loyalty was for Naruto, the patriotic lines are just too much.

As for the rest, I don’t have much to say cause they never tried to understand why sasuke was doing what he did, they only saw a power hungry uchiha who was seeking revenge.

And yes nejis end was tragic for all the wrong reasons, i was more pissed than sad watching it. He was treated as a tool for nh and his anger at the hyuga clan and their issues was brushed off without much thought because the series never delved into it or resolved it.

And yes we got no real closure for the uchiha massacre, all the messed up things in the hyuga clan and the way Naruto was mistreated his whole life etc. Its aggravating how they expect us to believe its all fixed and fine now

I really do love the pre shippuden arcs like the zabuza and haku arc especially though. They were the peak naruto experience for me and are always the scenes I reminisce and often get nostalgic over.

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep15

I forgot this guy’s name, Yao or something? Honestly, I don’t care enough to research this, like, at all. I hate this guy. My friend and I now refer to him as the Hype Man, so I might just call him that from now on. But I wanted to say that I didn’t realize he was in it so early, so when I saw him, I was like, “That fucking guy!!” And I also totally missed that the point of Jiang Fengmian leaving was to take this worthless piece of trash somewhere. I wish he’d died haha. But then I guess there’d be less reason to hate him, and I enjoy hating him.

I can’t believe this is the first paragraph that people are going to see. If you’re reading this now, you’re like, why do I want to read this crap? And y’know what, I can’t blame you. The next few episodes are gonna be rough. I don’t even know if there will be much to say on my end. My friend, after watching these few episodes commented something like, “Huh, that really dragged.” I could only agree, pulling my hair out from the headache these few episodes were giving me.

Okay, but seriously, Yao is so pathetic here! Talking about how he never thought they’d end up like this, and, “Oh, we were just a small clan, woe is me!” It’s amazing that he turns into the biggest prick, always right there hyping up the scapegoat-blame game rhetoric. Sorry, I hate this fucker.

A rare nice moment from Madam Yu. It was sweet having her show a caring side, packing medicine for her husband, snacks for her daughter. But of course, it was because Jiang Yanli had come to say goodbye to her earlier. Jiang Cheng is really like his mother—they can’t do anything for kindness’s sake, there’s always an obligation to the kindness.

I hate Wang Lingjiao, but I love her, and I love hating her. I’m conflicted. She’s just such a fun, evil character, more fun than Xue Yang in my opinion, probably because she actual interacts with the main characters in the story. It will forever annoy me that Xue Yang gets so much attention for appearing in a long-ass flashback (via empathy) and what should have been a flashback (Chang Clan) but wasn’t because they wanted it to be padding, I guess.

Anyway, Wang Lingjiao. She’s fun, she goes completely nuts—what’s not to love about her? She’s also someone who is so similar to Madam Yu, but because she also is ambitious and wants to take over Lotus Pier, Madam Yu wants her dead. Haha!

While Madam Yu is, objectively, a horrible person, I actually really like how her bodyguards aren’t treated like servants. I like that there’s mutual respect there, as there should be when you’re talking about protecting someone. Unfortunately, I think Madam Yu treats them better than her own family in most cases. It’s cool that the Jiang Clan doesn’t rely on servants to get food and tea and whatnot. These are things that the disciples and leaders must do for themselves. By contrast, the Jins have so many servants—it’s almost obscene by comparison.

Also I want to point out how hot-headed Jiang Cheng gets here, while his mother is just cool as a cucumber. It really shows you how unready he is to actually lead (which she points out). He’s so emotional, quick to anger, yet he has none of the foundations to really lead a group of people. Even when the disciples are explaining to them what happened to the kid and the kite, it’s Wei Wuxian who is keeping everyone calm and asking the questions.

I love that his first reaction here is to insult Wang Lingjiao’s intelligence. We’re basically getting a parallel to how he reacts to Wen Chao, which is fun because you can see how his behavior hasn’t changed at all. He uses his wit in both situations and is easily able to outwit both Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. What’s kind of interesting is that Jiang Cheng will speak up now when he wouldn’t before. And I wonder is it because he is guilty for being silent earlier with Wen Chao, or is it something else? I think ultimately Jiang Cheng blames Jin Xizuan, Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian for what happens to his parents and to Lotus Pier. Even though, logically, it would have been destroyed anyway, he still wants to place the blame on someone who he can reach. All this is to say, I don’t think Jiang Cheng regrets not speaking up at the Wen Indoctrination. So I think he feels superiority over Wang Lingjiao really because he thinks she’s a stupid woman. And duh, she is not that clever. But she is smart enough to be able to use what talents she has to get ahead. She apparently is favored over Wen Chao’s own wife (who knew he was even married—not me lol), and you have to be ambitious and have some smarts to get that far. That’s not to say that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t treat a man this way too—I think he would. I think he picks and chooses who he’ll stand up to. He’s on his own turf, she’s an invader, she’s a woman—she only brought a few henchmen, right? He’s also been charged with watching over Lotus Pier in his father’s absence. Maybe he just wants to look big for once. Just a thought. Take it or leave it.

So, I think Madam Yu is enjoying this. She’s getting two things she wants: the Wens are going to leave and she gets to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian. She doesn’t even have to be prodded to punish him, right? She barely waits until Wang Lingjiao has finished speaking. This has something she’s wanted to do for a long time. I think she’s hit him before, yes? But she can go all out right now, since Jiang Fengmian, his only real protector, is gone.

Also Jiang Cheng! Man, he’s torn apart! He hates to see this happening to Wei Wuxian—yes, he blames him for all that shit, but he doesn’t want to see this happen to him. It’s actually harder to watch Jiang Cheng in all of this than Wei Wuxian, who mostly remains as stoic as he could possibly be while she’s whipping the shit out of him. And again here, we get Wei Wuxian telling Jiang Cheng not to interfere, because the last thing he wants is for Jiang Cheng to be penalized too. He’s fine receiving this punishment because it’s a “better me than him” kind of a thing. It’s harder to watch someone else suffer than to suffer ourselves, right? I’m like that, idk if you readers are, but I think a lot of people are like that. I mean, I’ve always been that way, but it’s been amplified since I became a parent. And not only is he accepting of being whipped by Zidian, he’s ready to lose his fucking right hand. The hand that he wields a sword with. His dominant hand. He is ready to lose it with absolutely no fuss. That’s how much Wei Wuxian cares about Lotus Pier. His response is, “I’ll have to learn how to use my left hand.” It’s a passing line, a line when you can’t even see his face—but do you get how big that is? Jiang Cheng is up there losing his mind, completely emotional, crying, yelling at his mother to stop—Wei Wuxian is just silently gritting his teeth and taking it. They’re both brave (I would not want to stand up to Madam Yu), but different kinds of brave, y’know?

I do love this part. I’m not gonna lie. Seeing Madam Yu slap Wang Lingjiao around is something that’s deeply, deeply satisfying. I guess it’s just nice to see Madam Yu’s anger turned towards an actual villain, since up until this point, it’s been directly mainly at Wei Wuxian and her own husband. I think this part is forever tainted if you know how the story goes, because Madam Yu is just on fire! But if you’ve seen this series before, which hopefully you have (otherwise spoilers abound), you know it doesn’t end well for her. I like this plot device here, making you think that the good guys are going to come out on top, and then reversing it so quickly as soon as the Core-Melting Hand shows up. One minute, you’re cheering, the next, you’re…not.

I also want to point out how quickly things reverse here as well. Jiang Cheng is trying to protect and comfort Wei Wuxian throughout this whole scene, which is something we’re definitely not used to seeing. This has always (and I mean always) been more of Lan Wangji’s thing. But in kind of a nice twist of fate, we actually see Jiang Cheng caring for Wei Wuxian. But then, boy, do things change! We see a complete reversal of this behavior—first Wei Wuxian has to be there for Jiang Cheng’s emotional state, and then his physical one. And the man does not complain about it at all.

I want to say that I didn’t cry in my first watch of CQL until episode 50. That is 100% the truth, so help me God. However, when I watched this scene in the donghua, I cried like a little bitch. Cried probably isn’t the right word—how about sobbed. I sobbed. I think because I knew it was coming when I watched CQL, it didn’t really affect me (plus my husband was right there, not paying attention, but still on the couch with me, so I tend to not cry as much when he’s around. I like to cry on my own, okay?). Having said that, the second time I saw this scene, I fucking cried, and I really didn’t stop until after they told Jiang Yanli, because that sweetheart crying makes me cry, okay? I have a really hard time watching things about children and parents, because I always think about my own parents and my own kid, so it just makes me really emotional. The idea of never seeing your parents again, especially in such a traumatic situation, at the age of what—17? That’s something I can’t even begin to imagine. In a word, horrific. Traumatic isn’t even a strong enough word to describe the emotional and mental turmoil that a teenager would be going through. But I can probably ramble about that later.

And my heart breaks for Wei Wuxian here too. Even though she hated him, even though she treated him so poorly, I’m sure he still thought of her as something akin to a mother. She was the only mother figure he had in his life who was still living, so there was definitely an attachment there (and this is proven later). Even being acknowledged by her here must mean something to him. She may hate him, but she trusts him to keep her children safe and to protect them. It’s honestly so sad.

Ugh, this is hard to watch. As a mother, the idea of sending your kid adrift when you know you’ll probably never see them again is so heartbreaking. The connection you have with your children is something that no other relationship can match, whether you physically bore your children or not. They are a part of you. Like, let’s be real, raising children is difficult—they can test your patience, make you angry, make you sad and hurt (toddlers don’t care about you, yeah, I said it)—but you love them in spite of it all. And for me, I can never really hate Madam Yu. I can find her attitude and treatment of certain individuals deplorable, but at the end of the day, she loved her children. Was she a good mom? No, probably not. But I don’t think Jiang Fengmian was a good dad either (although I think he tried a bit harder). But I think she loved A-Cheng and A-Li, and I think she trusted Wei Wuxian to protect them. I think she gave him that shred of respect at the end.

In case you’re wondering, I fucking cried through to the end of this episode. I mean, Jesus, Yanli just gets immediately thrown into another boat and tied up with her brothers, after finding out that her mother might be dead already, and then her dad abandons them too. I just can’t.

I’m sorry this was short (maybe I’m not sorry, depending on how much you like the episode). I’m going to try and knock out more than one episode per week because I just don’t have a lot to say. These are mainly getting through the plot episodes, if you know what I mean.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |

[aclosetfan]

21

(ask game) thank you so much for playing the game!! you’re the best (per usual)!!

Helllll yeahhhhh 21 is the DUMBEST STUPIDEST fic I’ve ever made and I lovvveee it 💚💙❤️ it’s the “Vampire Zombie” one i mentioned in the original ask game post 😂😂

So glad someone picked the number!! Background to keep in mind: do yall remember when there was just a shit ton of Vampire fics on FFN?? Idk about ao3, but for newer fandom members this was TOTALLY a trend in the early 2000s on ffn, and I was like why the fuck are all of these here??? And like, why is it constantly a predator-prey relationship between the rrb and ppg??? So I was like wait…okay, but this could be funny and decided to write a story making fun of these super cringey stereotypes.

The story would be a multi fic and I have zero idea how to explain it concisely, so basically below the cut is just me laying it all out for you srsly I’m just bearing my soul to you:

For the girls’ birthday, the Professor tricks out the simulation room they train in to be a VR game room b/c the girls had talked about VR once (and only once), but the Professor thought it was cool and ran with it. The Girls can create a world of their choosing and explore. They admit the idea is pretty cool and eventually start arguing where they should “go” first. Blossom suggests a historical era like the Victorian era/Bubbles suggests something romantic, where she hints at vampires/Buttercup doesn't like any of those ideas, but the vampires reminded her of all of her zombie videogames she plays and she ends up suggesting something like that instead/ To prevent arguing the Professors says he’ll combine all three ideas into one!

[[how does this machine work??? IDK in the spirit of early 2000 fanfics, anything complicated and confusing is only vaguely explained—which has in story effects that drive Blossom INSANE! Idk how it would work technically, but my choices as the writer on what is/is not describe and purposeful grammar mistakes has story implications] [ill explain this more later]]

The Professor loads up the “game,” but something malfunctions. He tells the girls (Buttercup) not to touch anything. She doesn't listen and ends up plugging something into an entirely different device against Blossom & Bubbles protest. The device is that old “time machine” thing the Professor made in one of the OG cartoon (the one where the girls meet the Young Professor). It turns out that whatever she does (again still don't ask me how) fuses the basic concept of the two machines together and creates a device that transports them to a parallel universe that matches the specifications of the “game” they wanted to create.

[[Throughout the story, i want to include little video game gags, like bottomless bags for storage, or random bullets laying around, little things like that. (they've lost their powers/ but BC keeps finding all these random guns/knifes so they're good) I also give the girls the “ability” to read the dialogue I write. So, when I mess up a comma (i.e. Let’s eat Grandma! vs Let’s eat, Grandma!), Blossom will look at the “character” they’re talking to and be like, “WELL, which is IT!?”] [I know it’s stupid, but I think its so fun!]]

So, because of the video game “glitch,” the girls think for the longest time they’re actually IN a video game, but when they “go to sleep” thinking that’ll save the game and they can quit, per Professor’s instruction, they find out they can’t. Cue freak out. After the calm down, Buttercup’s like okay, listen we probably just have to beat the game! Too bad they don’t know what the game’s objective is exactly. They just know they’re dressed in Victorian Era clothes and their “Professor” is the town’s doctor? Their mother died (tragically). It’s all a bit dramatic. They start searching for clues. Eventually, they find out that the Town has a zombie problem (THANKS BUTTERCUP!), and Blossom figures if they can cure that, they beat the game. Unbeknownst to them, they are actually stuck in a stupid vampire love plot there just happens to be zombies. [Like, you can’t have one supernatural creature without another and I wasn’t going to write about werewolves.] No one in town seems to care about the undead problem. Buttercup keeps “leveling up,” Blossom’s on the verge of a breakdown, and then, finally, Bubbles meets Boomer.

Boomer swears up and down Bubbles is his fated mate. Bubbles—who is definitely interested—is like ooo so you’re a vampire, cutie? He’s broody about it. She’s like so do you sparkle in the sun?? (I absolutely love sparkles, she says). He’s like, wut?? She’s like, do you sparkle???? He’s like, uh no, the sun kind of burns my energy tho. She’s like, oh. Okay. I see. You don’t sparkle. Sooo, well, haha, okay you seem like a really really sweet guy with the whole eternal devotion thing, but I don’t think this is really going to work out between us. He’s again like WUT. Boomer gets broken up with because he doesn’t sparkle.

Vampire Butch is flat out scared of Buttercup. Like he fully admits he’s sucked infants dry of their blood; he’s why people should fear the night; he’s not a “good guy”; but BC is a force to be reckoned with. In the Victorian era, I’m guessing they had little to no experience with the modern day “bro” and BC is full on bro. This doesn’t mesh well with Butch’s broody, dark, vampire thing he’s got going on. She’s too vulgar for a Victorian lady, she wears things called “Chacos,” and she has a gun??? Multiple guns. And He. Has. No. Fucking. Idea. What. She. Is. Saying!! No! He will not “dab her up!” No, he “doesn’t lift.” This wasn’t his mysterious, tough (but still a damsel, mind you) mate he met one fateful evening, this was some heathen creature (and this is coming from a vampire), so please, please, please, can he kill her?????  

Blossom’s like I don’t like to be touched and I’m a lesbian, and Brick’s like one) I think I respect you more than the old Blossom; two) the zombies just appeared, stop asking; three) you need to now help us find our mates before their eighteenth birthday or we’re all screwed.

Ready to kick ass and fight sexist stereotypes with their new “bros,” the girls set out with their new objective, hoping beyond hope that once they find the missing girls they’ll be able to go home. The girls find out that their parallel alternatives went disappearing a few days ago, so their “return” had been a relief to the whole town. [[Blossom’s like why did no one question our clothing?!?! Why are there zombies?!?!]] ugh and then, I don’t know what happens :( really. I never really ended it. They girls just constantly shit on the boys being broody vampires and kick zombie ass, like idk what else a gal could want out of a story. I feel like they end up finding the other girls. And I think that I was going to bring HIM into the mix, but it’s still just regular HIM. It turns out that HIM likes jumping dimensions to make the Girls life hell in every lifetime and has cursed the three girls living in the vampire dimension. (“I’ve got a life outside of just you, ya know.” HIM huffed, “What are you three doing here?”) It also turns out that out of all the dimensions, our Girls as Superheroes are the best at beating HIM and saving the day, so he’s extra pissy that they’re ruining his carefully crafted “historical romance vampire soap opera.” Blossom loses her shit because the historical inaccuracies are too high to now ignore, Bubbles is pissed because HIM didn’t make good enough vampires, and Buttercup’s like honestly, not a bad game, ngl. Everyone ignores her.

[[They beat HIM, free the other girls, return home, and BC obsesses over their stats sheets. Back in Vampire land, the boys are like wait a second the relationships we are now stuck in suck.] [The zombies are still not explained]]

[genshin-djinn]

Genshin Impact Chapter 1 Act 3: A Reaction.

Chapter 1 Act 3 is what took my experience with this game from “good game” to “masterpiece”.

THIS POST CONTAINS MANY, MANY SPOILERS FOR GENSHIN IMPACT CHAPTER 1: ACT 3

Genshin Impact has some problems— actually, it has a shit ton of problems. But during the fight against hordes of Fatui, with the Adepti channeling their abilities through my gang, flying through them as Oz, decimating them with Diluc— I just thought, this is the best time I’ve had in a mobile game in my life.

This game might not be perfect now— it’s only a quarter of the way done if we’re counting Karenri’ah. But it will be a fucking masterpiece once it’s all out. If this is the level of quality we’re getting for our archon quests, this game is going to be an amazing time on story alone.

KEQING

I love Keqing with all my heart. If she were alive today she would be a socialist here to topple the ruling 1%. When ningguang asked Aether who they trusted more, her or Keqing, I hit the Keqing button as fast as possible.

I think one of my favorite things about Keqing is that she’s so completely honest, which is unusual for a Liyue politician. If she doesn’t like something, she’ll speak out against it. If she thinks something else should be happening, she’ll make it happen. She can probably be deceitful at times, but in general she’s straightforwards in that she wants a government for the people and by the people.

I can’t wait for her story quest!

NINGGUANG

pretty.... voice pretty....

Ningguang is cool. Her JP voice is very pretty, like she could do ASMR videos online or smth. One thing I decidedly did not like about Ningguang is how her personality just ???? flips? In the middle of the quest, for no reason other than “because plot”.

It’s established that Ningguang cares about two things more than anything— the Jade palace and Mora. Why, then, would she destroy the Jade palace for the sake of Liyue? I get that she’s a good person at heart at all, but I want to see more of her indecision, her brain saying “mora” and her heart saying “Liyue”. The way she just flips on a dime isn’t really strange but it does contradict with her preexisting characterization.

Childe’s Boss Fight!

The section of this quest from Childe’s fight to the Adepti + Qixing battle is just nonstop adrenaline.

Childe is IMO a lot more fun than Dvalin (sorry Dvalin). I’m at WL5 and have a tendency to play fast and loose with important mechanics like.... dodging, for example.... and Childe’s Mask Electro form ended up destroying my team. I killed him with Guoba because everyone else besides Xiangling was dead. I

Another thing I really enjoy about Childe’s boss fight is that in the irrationalities of Childe as a character, it actually makes sense. Genshin is decent at making weekly bosses logical excursions— Andrius wants you to get stronger, Dvalin’s weekly fight is ~~all a dream~~; but tbh sometimes the weekly bosses don’t make sense. Andrius wants to train us, not murder us! How does dvalin, a dream slash memory that doesn’t exist, manage to knock someone out?

Childe as a weekly boss actually makes perfect sense. He’s an adrenaline junkie addicted to the thrill of fighting people— to put this in modern AU terms, he’s the guy who’s first in line to ride the rollercoaster that failed all of its health and safety checks. Childe wants to befriend the Traveler entirely because they’re stronger than him, so that he can fight them over and over again until he’s the strongest. Of course, this will never happen, because the Traveler is the MC and therefore is stronger than all others. However, in this way Childe being a repeatable boss makes 100% perfect sense— he actually wants to fight the Traveler again and again and again.

The one question I have about Childe is how in the living feck are the Fatui letting him join the Traveler and fight for them *against the Fatui*??? I think this might be touched on in Childe’s Story quest, which I’ll do in a bit, but like????? They let him keep his delusion and just walk over to Aether like “aight fam I’m on your team now”? How?

Jade Chamber/ Guizhong Ballista vs Sea Monster Fight!!

Basically, all my charged adrenaline from nearly dying to Childe just came to a head in this one huge fantastic fight.

And Xiao :)

I absolutely loved seeing the Adepti and the Qixing work together. This fight was probably my favorite fight in the whole game— the music was amazing (soundtrack where), the graphics were so nice, the adepti were so feckin cool, using everyone’s abilities was n I ce. My adrenaline was reaching its highest point at this fight and it was just perfect. It was just so fecking fun after days of WL5 pain, having to pop like five ultimates to kill one hillichurl, to be able to just demolish swathes of enemies with Fischl and Diluc, run around like a madman thanks to Xiao, have infinite health idr who did that for me but bless them, just absolutely destroy.

Ever since I hit WL5 I haven’t been able to really just go insane during a fight and stop caring about HP/ when to use skills/ dodging and this have me that opportunity.

Zhongli’s Deal

*punches Zhongli across the room with the power of being the player character* I love this man so much.

Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli. I AM VERY ANGRY AT HOW THE PLOT RESOLVED HIS STORYLINE. But it also makes a lot of sense. And I think, for once, Zhongli should be allowed to be selfish.

Because choosing to leave Liyue was a bit selfish. He’s leaving the country that adores him, loves him, gives him shit for free; to its own devices and then to a completely unknown fate once the new Geo Archon becomes god and takes over. But he made a frankly fantastic plan and can now leave the country, for now, in peace.

I was absolutely delighted to see Zhongli in Morax form. Making deals with La Signora, being a complete and utter puppet master who set this entire situation up and played Childe like a kazoo; but just like his dear friend Venti, I think Zhongli is happier when he’s just Zhongli, the eccentric mortal. He seems so much happier and so much more relaxed when he’s forgetting about mora and eating dinner with Aether and Paimon. Rex Lapis might have just put Liyue through the wringer, but he can now put down his 3000- year long reign and just be the happy, eccentric Zhongli.

Zhongli’s little bit of insecurity over being a “bourgeois parasite” makes perfect sense now— he doesn’t want to be seen as Morax, a superfluous god who’s using his name to get whatever he wants from the humans he watches over.

But also the part of my brain that feeds off lore nEEDS to KNOW what Zhongli got from Tsaritsa. What could be worth a gnosis? His own happiness isn’t enough— Tsaritsa is likely going to use his gnosis to try and destroy Liyue. What could be worth that?

My main thought would be either “someone’s protection” or “another gnosis”, but I don’t think the latter is possible. The former could be possible but doesn’t really make sense either— a) whose protection is worth putting an entire country, much less the world, in danger and b) the Fatui are out to kill everyone who isn’t Fatui, so they won’t agree to spare a major player in the war to come like that. Brain go brrr.

I’m very hyped for Zhongli’s story quest, which I think is coming with his banner on Dec 1, when Childe’s banner ends. I really hope that Zhongli visits Mondstadt and chills with Venti for a while, but anything with this guy would be fine lol.

LORE

We got a lot of lore this update and I am delighted by it.

Firstly, we get a tiny hint of how Visions are bestowed— “if a person shows true strength of will at a desperate and fateful moment in their life, the gods will look upon them with favor.” Vague but more than we had before.

Next we got some neat lore about Inazuma— firstly, that it’s led by a god named Baal and secondly that it steals everyone’s visions. I’m very hyped to visit because guess what fam aether doesn’t have a vision.

Final Thoughts

In case you can’t tell from my insane ramblings, I loved Chapter 1 Act 3 and I absolutely cannot wait to play through Childe’s story quest and Chapter 2 and beyond.

The Prologue in Mondstadt set the stage for Genshin. We started out in a fantasy environment with a fantasy tale of an immortal bard and a dragon. Mondstadt was an excellent introduction to the world of Genshin.

And now? We’re starting to build on that. Chapter 1 brings us another story of another god and their relationship with the country they watch over. Liyue is much less of a traditional fantasy setting and takes the darkness we saw in Mondstadt— a friendship ruined by manipulation and suffering— and build on it. Now we don’t just see the Fatui more often but we also see more of the Treasure Hoarders and the way both groups kidnap and experiment on humans.

Mond started to introduce us to the Fatui, but Liyue is where they really start bringing continuous plot relevance. Inversely, we saw much more of the Abyss Order in Mondstadt than we did in Liyue. I’m extremely disappointed we didn’t see any more of the Princess this chapter, but it makes sense given that Chapter 1 was really more about the Fatui than the Abyss Order.

All I’m trying to say is the Liyue arc was an excellent continuation to the stage Mondstadt’s arc set. Now, we’re on to the world of the Eternal Shogun, Baal! I’m really excited to meet new characters and experience new stories of Inazuma, but I hope we’ll continue to see Mondstadt and Liyue in the future. Mondstadt is likely going to be the most “boring” of the countries we experience, cuz it’s just so classically fantasy- themed, but it will always be the first country we explored in this world.

After Inazuma (if I had to take a shot in the dark, inazuma’s arc will take from December 23 to maybe March or April) we’ll go to Sumeru, which I am really extremely hyped for because it sounds extremely different from Mond and Liyue and we’ll meet Cyno and possibly even Collei! (just me extrapolating lol). I can’t wait to see where Genshin Impact goes story- wise, because its first major update has brought so much to the table.

.

[drwcn]

... I must say, it's really nice to know it wasn't only I who found book!LWJ's attitude unnerving. He was shown a posessive there, I think? The funniest thing that TGCF I actually liked, because despite one of 'merry couple' fangirling for another for years, he still gave him free space and trusted to make his own decisions.

Hi anons! :)

This post is gonna get kind of wanky, so be warned. If you don’t want wank, well don’t read this post. I really don’t like to answer wank asks because only positive vibes for my blog please and thanks (but don’t worry anons, I’m not mad, I’m just gonna put the three of you together so I can talk about some of mdzs’s problems once and for all).  Also disclaimer: my opinions are my own, I could be wrong about some things. I have only dabbled in the novel, some chapters here and there, and I really couldn’t finish it. I went ahead and read the original text, which is actually quite well written all things considered. The translations are fine, but it just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Thus, if I said some things which are factually incorrect, I am not opposed to being notified.  

First and foremost, for the anon that asked “what’s wrong with mxtx?” The short answer is nothing is wrong with her. She’s an author who writes popular online novels with a wide readership. Clearly people are receptive to what she’s putting out there. Good for her, you know. It’s not easy to be that well received. 

But in terms of her novels, there are several things that I personally don’t like. I’m just gonna list some of the things she’s said about MDZS/CQL. I have not consumed any of her other work. 

First, her treatment of her female characters. In an interview, she literally said that most of the men in her MDZS novel are single because she didn’t want to come up with names for their wives. Like....what the fuck. Take from that what you will. Also, look at her female characters. Seriously, what kind of fates did they have? According to another OP, all the female characters’ lines in MDZS added up to 50 sentences. Don’t quote me on this, I did not fact check. This is just what I heard. But even within the narrative itself, let’s do a body count. Jiang Yanli died for plot. Wen Qing died for plot. Qin Su existed and died for plot. A-Jing existed for 45 seconds and then died for plot. Baoshan exists in narration only. Madam Yu was a raging asshole. Madam Jin treated Jin Guangyao like trash. Cangse Sanren: dead. Mama Lan: (no name lol) dead. Where are the fucking women? Where? Let’s not forget all the other women that existed purely as plot device: Sisi, Bicao, Meng Shi. Mianmian is the only one who lived, but she literally had to - quote Eliza Hamilton - “take myself out of the narrative” to do it. 

Second, and this is a well known thing: mxtx claimed that the only canon gay relationship is wangxian, everyone else is straight because she doesn’t think it’s likely that there are that many gay people. If we interpret other male characters as couples, we’re free to have our own interpretation. ... ..... .... I’m fucking speechless. But also laughing because LHK and ZZJ literally ignored canon, and straight up made LXC and MY have a meet cute in class in front of everyone. 

Third, but not least, let’s talk about book!Lan Wangji. The following will strictly be talking about book!Lan Wangji and not show!Lan Wangji. Show Lan Wangji is very nuanced and WYB’s micro-expressions are great. (You’re doing amazing sweeties, don’t ever stop).

 What, pray tell, is book!LWJ’s personality? Silence is not a personality. book!LWJ is what we critics in the drama world call “高冷霸道总裁”, which is a trope in and of itself. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes, except a lot of viewers are getting...kind of sick of it, because it’s getting a little repetitive. 

高冷 = arrogant and cold, but like... in an admirably good way. Or as I like to call it, a stick up the butt and no communication skills. 

霸道总裁 = The Big Boss.  Attention: lemme use some heteronormative language here for a second because most of cdrama is written this way. The Big Boss is the fictional counterpart to the real life 高富帅 (gao fu shuai: tall, rich and handsome, the moniker for an ideal husband) that many aunties and mothers wish their daughters could marry. This kind of character is tall, rich and will swoop in to save the damsel-in-distress - erm, I mean the strong independent female character - when she’s in trouble. Because even though she’s a strong independent character, and sometimes even the main character, somehow her fellow male lead still has to play her knight in shiny armor. Not like, he’ll sit down and listen to her talk about her problems, no, no, he has to pay for her expenses, bail her out of trouble, save her life, sacrifice himself, go against the world for her... sounds familiar??? 

Yeah. 

And like, some novels do “the big boss” trope better than other. They give the “the big boss” a human side, let him interact with side characters, allow him to have friends, build on other relationships, such that he is 3D and can stand on his own. Eternal Love of Dream’s DongHua Dijun is a recent example which I think did a pretty good job of writing a male character that doesn’t let him revolve around the love interest 24/7. 

book!LWJ doesn’t work for me because what exactly is his character growth? He serves to back up Wei Wuxian and.....????? He’s so flat in his character built. He loves Wei Wuxian and....that’s it. What else is there? If there’s other character traits y’all picked up on that I didn’t, please let me know because I find him so boring and at times disturbing (in terms of the nature of his physical relationship with Wei Wuxian). 

In CQL, we saw Lan Wangji change as a character, we saw him struggle with morals and values, struggle against tradition and family and societal expectations. We watched him witness the death of Wei Wuxian and move on to face life afterwards. We know through the actions of Lan Sizhui that he helped raise a child who didn’t just follow rules blindly. When Wei Wuxian came back, we saw a matured Lan Wangji who had come into his own and was comfortable in his own skin. And in the end, when the dust settled and the truth was revealed, he rose to the occasion. Jin Guangyao’s death left a power vacuum, and Lan Wangji filled it. Someone once wrote an excellent post about Lan Wangji being attracted to Wei Wuxian’s sense of justice (recall Wang Yibo’s change in expression when Wei Wuxian prayed during the lantern ceremony). I think that is exactly right. For two individuals with such different personalities, their bond in my opinion lies in their ability to see right and wrong beyond rules and laws and customs.  

In the book, canon ended with the two main character going at it in the grass, and I guess...yeah that’s cool. Happy ending right? But what they did learn? What was the point? Lan Wangji had lived 13/16 years without Wei Wuxian. He knew who he was. But for Wei Wuxian, he came back to life in another person’s body and went through a gazillion different revelation within days. He needed to find himself again, discover who he is, what he wants in this new life. That is a process he needs to do by himself, without external influences and pressure. He needs to be given a chance to decide that Lan Wangji is who he wants in this life, not in the last life, and when he does Lan Wangji will still be here, waiting for him, as he has always waited for him. Lan Wangji is the rock, the constant, the home that Wei Wuxian could always fall back on. He is not a prison, not a master, not the dictator of Wei Wuxian’s life. Theirs should be a partnership of respect and understanding. They are soulmates not only in the romantic sense, but because they understand each other better than anyone else. 

Book!LWJ does not give us that. What it does give us is a badly written sexual intercourse that gives me the heebee-jeebees. Sometimes I think it’s even weirdly dub-con without intending to be dub-con. The truth is I can’t even begrudge mxtx for it, because she is not the only one to write in this way. I’ve read other c-novels and many many of them are like that. And here is where we’re getting into the discussion of cultural understanding/acceptance of sex, relationship, consent, gender roles and the what is taught to young adults in school. That is a rabbit hole I won’t go into. 

So that’s it. My thoughts. 

[punchdrunkdoc]

Updated K-Drama list (8)

After almost a year of watching KDramas, I’ve finally found a show that has knocked CLOY off the top spot!

The GREAT:

1. Its Ok To Not Be Okay - NEW ENTRY

A children’s author with antisocial personality disorder becomes obsessed with a handsome (but closed-off) carer in a mental health hospital. 

I could (and already have) written loads about this show - it became my all-encompassing obsession for the 8 weeks it was on telly. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I had a feeling only 1 episode in that it might become my all-time favourite K-drama, and I was right. The quality never dropped for a moment, and it absolutely nailed the ending. 

I pretty much love everything about it - the whimsical, fairytale-esque tone, the music, the costumes, the supporting characters, the side plots exploring different mental health issues, the humour, the set design, even the opening credits!

The two leads are so beautiful with SO MUCH chemistry that you could watch them read a phone book and it would be hot. But it became a real three-hander of a show, with the male lead’s autistic brother forming an integral part of the relationship dynamic. 

Honestly, I can’t do this show justice with such a short review - just WATCH IT!!

Male lead: Soooo handsome, quiet and compassionate but with a steel core; it’s so fun watching him come out of his shell. Actor also seen in (AASI): My Love from a Star (honestly, he didn’t make much of an impression in that show, but he was amazing in this - he conveys so much emotion with the most subtle facial movements)

Female lead: Absolutely fascinating; so wounded and vulnerable, but projecting this awesome, no-fucks-given, blunt-as-hell exterior. Actress also seen in (AASI): Lawless Lawyer, Hwarang (minor character)

2. Crash Landing on You

He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.

This was my first K-drama, and although it’s been knocked off the top spot, it’s still fantastic. Its the full package - the entire cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon). I’ve since discovered that they had a North Korean defector as a consultant working on the show, so apparently the NK scenes are fairly accurate which is SUPER interesting.

Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever - absolutely nails the small, romantic gestures. AASI: Hyde, Jekyll & Me.

Female lead: Smart, sassy, and funny. I love her.

3. Healer

The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.

I ADORE this show and its so rewatchable. The plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. The central 3 characters are great, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one. There’s also a great riff on the Superman/Clark Kent dynamic which was fun!

Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What more do you need? AASI: The K2, Suspicious Partner, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie

Female lead: She doesn’t let her vulnerabilities stop her from getting the story or being with the man she loves. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Her private life

4. Itaewon Class

A young man’s life is forever altered when he runs afoul of a powerful family.

This felt like a big step up in quality from everything else in this list, in terms of the production, soundtrack (which was brilliant), the lack of annoying sound effects, and just the overall ‘real world’ feel of the show. All of the characters were fleshed out and 3-dimensional, and they all had their ‘moment’ to shine. The story itself was gripping and so well done - some of the twists and reveals had me gasping! And what can I say about the 2 leads? I love them, both separately, and together. He is so wise beyond his years, and his journey will break your heart and inspire you. She is borderline sociopathic, but I adore her.

Male lead: Tenacious, principled, kind, innocent, caring, driven, loyal…and he can cook! AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Fight for my way, Hwarang

Female lead: One of the most original Kdrama female characters I’ve seen. Plus she retains her agency all the way through, which is (unfortunately) not always the case with these shows. 

5. W - Two worlds

A surgeon gets sucked into the world of her father’s webtoon when the main character’s life is threatened.

This was a WILD ride! The first 4 episodes barrelled through plot at an amazing rate and certain events happen in episode 5 that had me wondering how the show could even continue! But it did…and the plot just got more insane! I loved this show SO much. It kept me guessing, had me on the edge of my seat, and even had room for some of my favourite romance tropes. The central relationship was great, and (because of the insane plot) you basically get 2 love stories for the price of 1. I’ve already watched this whole show again, which is why I’ve bumped it up the ratings a bit!

Male lead: Just a really, really cool guy. Can’t think of how else to describe him! Always in control, calm, unflappable, analysing the situation….but he can break out the cocky charm when needed. AASI: While you were sleeping, Doctor Stranger

Female lead: I really liked her - she had more agency than a lot of other female heroines and I really related to her freaked-out panic in the beginning when she didn’t feel like she was a capable enough doctor to save a life.

6. While you were sleeping

Not to be confused with the Sandra Bullock rom-com from the 90s. Instead, this is about a young woman who can dream the future who has her fate changed by a young prosecutor who suddenly develops the same ability

I was thoroughly and utterly charmed by this show. Everything was so beautifully done - from the cinematography, to the music (OMG the music!), even the title cards were interesting and quirky. The characters were all great - the main leads are so sweet and relatable, the second lead is cute-as-a-button, the villain is properly hissable, and none of the supporting characters/extras annoyed me! The storyline itself was brilliant, with so many great set-ups, pay-offs and twists, and the romance was lovely.

Male lead: A bit of a hot mess of a human being (basically, the polar opposite of his character in W!)…but all the more loveable for it. AASI: W: 2 worlds, Doctor stranger.

Female lead: Smart, sweet, loyal (I really loved her relationship with her mum) and quietly brave.

7. Descendants of the Sun

A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.

I absolutely LOVE the male lead character, and the romance in this was beautiful. Plus its chock-full of CompetencePorn, with lots of scenes of people being really, really good at their jobs (this is one of my favourite things!). However, it didn’t quite nail the angst, and the last minute was a bit twee which dropped it down the rankings a bit.

Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS with the most adorable, cheeky smile.

Female lead: Sweet and a bit out of her depth in the dangerous situations…but put her in charge of a patient and watch her go!

8. Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds

A young woman poses as a eunuch in the Royal Palace and falls in love with the Crown Prince

This was the first period piece I watched and it’s still my favourite - almost entirely because of the male lead and his beautiful face! The start had a really light, comedic tone (and a lot of modern anachronisms - high fives everywhere!) and I loved all the identity-concealing hi-jinks. But then the romance kicked into gear and the DELICIOUS angst started flowing, and I became obsessed with it. It’s like loads of bits of my favourite regency historical romances were mashed up and transported to the Joseon Dynasty. I loved it so much!

Male lead: Manages to look amazingly handsome despite all the period headgear, kicks ass with a sword, and doesn’t allow himself to be manipulated by the corrupt officials surrounding him. Also acts like an adorable goofball when he’s in love.

Female lead: Loved her at the start - she’s scrappy and independent and capable. Unfortunately, becomes too much of a plot device by the end. AASI: Backstreet Rookie

9. I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice / I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day

A cellist disillusioned with life in Seoul returns to her small home town for the winter.

This was achingly sweet and wonderful. The slow unfolding of the story, the beautiful scenery, and the simple yet moving score all combine to make this feel like the type of small town contemporary romance novel I love to read on a rainy day in front of a fire. Whilst long-held, painful secrets are eventually revealed, there is no massive conflict involved, with no antagonist or over-wrought external drama. Its just the tale of two sad, lonely people who have withdrawn from the world forming a connection with each other and trying to overcome their issues (she has a fear of abandonment; he’s a loner who has a tendency to disappear). As a bonus, there’s a bookclub with a wonderful cast of secondary characters - I wanted to spend more time with all of them.

Male Lead: Precious Cinnamon Roll, to be protected at all costs. AASI: Are you human too

Female lead: Wears her heart on her sleeve. Refreshingly, she’s the instigator of the relationship and isn’t the usual passive, coy female. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Healer, Her private life

10. Goblin

A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence

Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in floods of tears at some points, and it was laugh out loud funny at others. I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper and his reluctant bromance with the Goblin.

Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old

Female lead: Also innocent, but in some ways wise beyond her years. Her tears will make you cry (the actress is very good at sobbing her heart out!). AASI: The King, eternal monarch

11. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

An personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.

This was my first Park Seo Joon drama, and he’s great in it. He somehow turns a self-centred, entitled and vain boss into an endearing character! The central romance is amazing - I can rewatch their scenes again and again - and its a bit more mature than some of the others on this list (be sure to check out the extended scene!!). It has some of the best kisses in Kdrama.

Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus. AASI: Itaewon Class, Fight for my way, Hwarang

Female lead: I’m a sucker for uber-competent people so I loved this character. Park Min Young has become one of my favourites, and she is STUNNING in this. AASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Healer, Her private life

12. Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves

The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. It also nicely incorporates scenes from the Joseon era, so you get a partial historical romance thrown in for free!

I couldn’t stop watching this one and I’ve since rewatched it too! Definitely one to check out.

Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre. AASI: The King, Eternal monarch, Heirs.

Female lead: Steals the show - funny, smart and beautiful. AASI: My love from the Star.

13. Into the Ring/The Ballot - NEW ENTRY

An out-of-work young woman decides to run for office and faces all sorts of challenges in her quest to right some wrongs and earn a living.

This show has one of my favourite ever female characters - she’s headstrong, hard working, and quick to violence but so cute and charming with the most adorable laugh! She tries to act all cynical (that she’s only in it for the money) but she is actually really caring and kind. I sooo wanted her to succeed against the establishment of corrupt assholes that she worked with. Seeing her become disillusioned with politics and her colleagues was heartbreaking, and watching her fight back was great.

Her dynamic with the male lead was also great - he’s quietly in awe of her even when he’s exasperated and borderline scared of her.  And he’s super supportive. It was so much fun watching her drag him out of his monotonous, dull life. They also weren’t stingy with the PDA which was so refreshing.

On a superficial level, the show was also visually interesting, with loads of cool angles and blue lens flare. And the overall light, funny tone made it so watchable. 

Male lead: Adorkable

Female lead: The literal embodiment of sunshine and determination. I have a bit of a crush on her!

14. The King: Eternal Monarch

The reigning King of the Kingdom of Corea discovers a gateway to a parallel world - the Republic of Korea

This is the first drama I’ve watched in ‘real time’ but I think it would work better as a binge - there are a LOT of characters, and many have dopplegangers (because of the parallel world thing) so it became hard to keep track of who was who. I also think the progression of the romance is better appreciated in a binge (I wrote about it here - ignore the speculation; i got it so wrong LOL!). Unfortunately, the plot also had major holes in it (the ‘rules’ for the gateway/magical flute didn’t make sense) and It was difficult at times to differentiate Corea from Korea - a major failing of the editing.  

Buuuuuut, it still made my ‘Great’ list because all of those issues were outweighed by the sheer epicness of this show. The gorgeous sets, the dramatic scenery, the ANGST-filled, beautiful romance…at one point the King rides a majestic white horse into battle with a sword on a neon-lit highway to save the woman he loves. I mean, come on! Plus, its really funny - the ‘fish out of water’ scenes when the King first arrives in Korea, the chalk and cheese dopplegangers Yeong and Eun-Seob, the King’s constant threats of beheading…I loved those elements so much!

Male lead:  Gives Ri Jeong-Hyeok from CHOY a run for his money in the ‘Best Boyfriend’ competition.  AASI: Legend of the blue sea, Heirs.

Female lead: A bad-ass cop. Takes a while to believe Lee Gon’s story, but once she decides to go all in…she goes all in, and loves unreservedly with her whole heart. AASI: Goblin

15. Tomorrow with you 

A time-traveller struggling to live in the present meets a woman trying to let go of her past.

This reminded me a bit of ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’ in terms of the melancholic tone, the simple but effective music, and the beautiful lighting etc. There were also some really interesting, innovative shots which I appreciated.

It took a few episodes to get into and it was a bit frustrating in the middle - so much could have been solved if people just TALKED to each other!! Plus the rules for this version of time travel weren’t really clear…But the last few episodes were brilliant; the way the story came together, and all the little bits of set up were paid off was really well done. These episodes alone were enough to bump this up to the ‘Great’ category (especially, given there was a bit of a Lake House vive at one point - I’m a sucker for that movie. The romance was also beautifully portrayed; I could endlessly watch their domestic scenes - they had such good chemistry and banter.

Male lead: Absolutely, but endearingly, terrible at relationships. He ends up falling in love against his will and largely without realising it.

Female lead: A bit of a mess and a borderline alcoholic, but so cute and innocent. I love the way she talks to herself, she’s so funny! AASI: Oh My Venus

16. Fight for my Way

Two life-long friends decide to go after their dreams

I fast-forwarded large chunks of this (I wasn’t interested in the secondary couple at all), but it still made my ‘Great’ list because this is one of the best friends-to-lovers stories I’ve seen. You truly buy that these 2 have known each other their entire lives (their  bickering and teasing feels so natural). And then when they take the next step, they’re so affectionate and refreshingly open with their feelings. Speaking of which, this also has some great kissing scenes (Park Seo Joon is the master!)

Male lead: I love his contradictions. He’s goofy and childish…but can really turn on the sexy charm; he’s a badass MMA fighter…who loves when his girlfriend sticks up for him and protects him. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Itaewon class, Hwarang

Female lead: Takes no shit from anyone and will fight for her man! AASI: Descendants of the sun (secondary character)

17. Suspicious Partner

A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.

This was officially bumped up the list a while ago, and I stand by the decision. Its still overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. Mainly, I just loved the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other so well and I loved their evolution from sort-of enemies to lovers. This is another show where I can endlessly rewatch their scenes together.

Male lead: Its Ji Chang Wook! He’s so good at playing serious guys who are secretly big dorks. AASI: Healer, The K2, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie

Female lead: Fate deals her a shitty hand, but she perseveres with grace and determination. She’s great. AASI: Shopaholic Louis, 100 days my prince.

The GOOD:

1. I Am Not a Robot

A man who is allergic to human contact finds companionship with a robot…or does he?

I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it passed a couple of episodes of this - the concept was just too ridiculous. But I’m glad I persevered, because it developed some real depth and some proper good angst towards the end and I LOVED the central relationship. I’ve rewatched loads of this one.

Actress ASI: Piece of Your Mind;  Love in the moonlight (secondary character)

2. I Remember You - NEW ENTRY

A famous criminal profiler gatecrashes the investigation of a serial killer, hoping it will restore the missing memories of his childhood trauma

I really liked the set up of this - the lead character is introduced like a young Sherlock Holmes (the music even reminded me of the score for the BBC Sherlock series). The super-observant, socially awkward thing kind of dropped off as the series progressed, but I still enjoyed how the plot developed, especially with Park Bo-Gum’s character; I’ve only ever seen him play innocent cutie-pies, so this role was a bit of a surprise!

The female lead was like an anime character come to life (she was petite and cute with enormous eyes), but I also loved her personality; she was tenacious, and dogged and took no shit from anyone. She had a cute, antagonistic relationship with the profiler at the start (which I loved) which eventually led to some really sweet, touching moments. 

Actor ASI: Shopping King Louis

3. Hotel del Luna 

A hotel for wandering spirits gets a new human manager - and he forms a surprising connection to the enigmatic 1300 year old owner

If I had to describe this show in one word it would be ’lavish’. It’s a feast for the eyes - from the set design, to the costumes, to the CGI views of the hotel towering over the moon-lit Seoul cityscape, its stunning. It also plays with aspect ratios in a cool way (watch for the shots where the action spills over into the black bars top and bottom of the screen).

In terms of the characters, I really liked IU in this; her character may be uncaring, world-weary, and money-hungry, but she’s also immensely charming. I admit I got more platonic vibes with her and the male lead, but I still liked their relationship. I also really liked the stories of the ghosts passing through (some reduced me to tears with very little screen time) and there were a couple of GREAT cameos. Especially the one at the very end - I want more of him, please!!

Actress ASI: Scarlet heart

4. My Holo Love

A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator…

I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and I think this stayed in my ‘favourite’ list for so long because it was the first Kdrama of this genre that I saw. I still love it - especially because of how beautifully it’s shot, and how well the story comes together - but I’m not dying to rewatch any of it, unlike all the others shows that are now on the ‘great’ list.

5. Extraordinary You

A high school student discovers she’s a supporting character in a comic book

The plot of this was so cool, and the way the comic story played out interspersed with the characters ‘real lives’ was really well done. Plus the central couple were so adorable. It dragged in the middle section (several versions of the same conversations were had, and the same exposition was spelled out multiple ways for no apparent reason) which kept it out of my favourite list, but it redeemed itself with some good angst at the end, and it had a really lovely ‘epilogue’.

AASI: A couple of the secondary male leads have a mini-reunion in ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’!

6. Just Between Lovers - NEW ENTRY

Three people impacted by a tragic shopping mall collapse start working on a building project together, unaware of their shared past.

I absolutely adore the male lead in this - he is the archetypal tortured hero (I constantly wanted to give him a hug and a warm meal). He’s also wonderfully romantic in his own, straightfoward, no-nonsense way. The female lead was really likeable - l love capable women and she is the definition of that (she even drives a lorry at one point!). There’s a lot of pain and angst in this show, with very little levity, but it strangely never felt heavy. I really liked it. 

Actress ASI: Melting me Softly

7. Strong Girl Bong-Soon

A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO

The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute…but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath, and a really grating cast of ‘bad guy’ extras. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance - If someone could do a supercut of all their scenes, I would watch it on a loop.

Actor ASI: Hwarang, Heirs (minor character)

8. 30 but 17/Still 17 - NEW ENTRY

A 17 year old girl gets into an accident and wakes from a coma 13 years later.

I was worried going into this that the romance (between a 30 year old man and (essentially) a 17 year old girl) would feel icky and uncomfortable. But the writers made the wise choice of creating a 30 year old man with the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. He is so awkward and unworldly, that they actually work really well together. In fact, I loved their relationship. The secrets in this show took faaaar too long to be revealed, which made me worried that the eding would be too rushed, but there was actually time for a nice ‘epilogue’. Plus, all the supporting characters were great (including the wonderfully weird housekeeper Jennifer) and the cutest dog in the world was in this. So I definitely recommend it.  

9. Mystic Pop-up Bar - NEW ENTRY

As punishment for past sins, a woman must solve the grudges of 100,000 people by entering their dreams

This was an unexpected delight. I started watching it after spotting a cute gifset on tumblr (which I didn’t realise contained huge spoilers!). The story and tone is (mostly) light and quirky, and I particularly enjoyed the worldbuilding - the banal bureaucracy of the afterlife in this even reminds me a bit of The Good Place. I’m a sucker for a ‘found family’ theme and this one was done really nicely. It also had 2 main ships - one really cute and innocent, the other took me by surprise with how moving it was. Similarly, some of the episode-specific stories and characters (i.e. the individual grudges) made me tear up.  

10. 100 days my prince

A Prince loses his memory during an assassination attempt and ends up living as a peasant for 100 days.

Another period piece; the plots of these seem a little repetitive (Crown prince’s life is threatened by scheming Minister) but the  central cast and the romance usually makes up for it. Same for this show - I really enjoyed watching the spoiled, grumpy puppy of a Prince try to cope with manual labour, and the female lead was capable, and endearing.

Actress ASI: Suspicious partner, Shopaholic Louis

11. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo

A young talented weightlifter experiences first love

Honestly, I wasn’t sold on this at first; the female lead was a bit much (lot of gurning and over-acting) and there was a weird disconnect between how she was described (big, overweight, manly, unfeminine) and how she actually looked (thin and beautiful!). But the back half of this show saved it; her relationship with Joon-Hyung was sooooo cute. He is adorable, and they were both so supportive of each other’s dreams. I finished this with a big smile on my face.

Actor ASI: Bride of the Water God, Scarlet heart (tertiary character)

12. Are You Human Too

A mother separated from her son builds a robotic replacement. Decades later, he has to take the place of the ‘real’ son.

I loved the evolution of the robot in this - it never went the way of a full Pinnochio story, but it was fun to see him learning about the real world and how humans interact. It also posed some interesting questions - what does it mean to be human? And how would you react if you were ‘replaced’ by an artificial version?  

The actor in this was fantastic. The way he could change from the real Nam Shin to Nam Shin III with the most subtle shifts in posture and facial expression was really impressive. It took me longer to warm to the female lead, and by the end she was given very little to do…but her unflinching support and unconditional love for Nam Shin III won me over.  Some of the supporting characters didn’t work for me, and it was far too long…but worth a watch for the lead actor’s performance. Plus, Nam Shin III is an absolute cutie-pie.

Actor ASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice

13. Shopaholic Louis/ Shopping King Louis

The young, shopaholic heir to a large department store empire loses his memory and has to live as a poor man 

The male lead in this is an absolute puppy dog and I ADORE him. He squeals when he sees bugs, he can’t run to save his life, and he’s the type of guy who will punch someone and immediately apologise and ask if they’re ok. He’s spoilt, entitled, demanding and has no concept of the value of money…but thanks to the actor portraying him, he just comes across as innocent, sweet and lonely (he spends all his time shopping and accumulating stuff because they fills up his empty life). The female lead is just a really nice, kind person; at first Louis seems like he’ll be just one more burden she needs to take care of, but he makes it clear from the start that she can count on him to help her too - something she’s never had before. Their relationship develops so naturally and thoroughly that you cant help but feel they are perfect for each other. I watched this with a big smile on my face.

Actor ASI: I Remember You

Actress ASI: Suspicious partner, 100 days my prince

14. Oh My Venus 

The previously much-lusted after ‘Venus of Daegu’ fulfilled her dream of becoming a lawyer - but she gained weight and lost her self esteem in the process. 

I adored the female lead - she was so relentlessly bright and optimistic that you couldn’t help but love her and root for her. I was a bit worried going in that there was going to be a lot of fat-shaming, but the male lead made it clear that he was more interested in her internal health than her external appearance (and you could tell he started to fall for her when she was chubby, so it wasn’t superficial in that way). I wasn’t expecting for him to become so much of the focus in the second half of the show (I thought he was just going to be a hunky trainer;  I should have known better - in a Kdrama there is always a Tragic Backstory looming!). Their relationship was so natural and cute - the bit with the dimples never got old - and overall, this was a fun, easy watch.

Actress ASI: Tomorrow with you. 

Actor ASI: My secret Terrius, Master’s sun.

15. A Piece of your Mind - NEW ENTRY

A classical music recording engineer meets an AI designer.

I struggled to sum-up the concept of this in one sentence, because the ‘plot’ is so arbitrary (and the AI stuff makes no sense whatsoever!). It’s really more of a mood piece - the lighting, the music and the performance combine to make this a strangely ethereal show, dealing with unrequited love, grief and the importance of human connection. It’s slow and contemplative and a little odd in its structure (there’s very little set-up, so you feel like you’ve been dropped into episode 3 of an established show). This may put some people off, but I really liked it. 

I started watching it because of the leads (who I’ve loved in other shows) and they didn’t disappoint. She is so kind and lovely; he’s a little odd - like a robot learning about life. But their relationship is so beautiful (it even included one of my favourite niche tropes: insomniacs who can only sleep around each other). 

Apparently the episode run was cut down from 16 to 12 because of poor ratings, which is a real shame because i think a bit more time was needed to really sell the female lead’s emotional arc. It all felt a little rushed at the end, but I still enjoyed it, and admired that it tried something a little unconventional. 

Actor ASI: While you were sleeping (secondary lead).

Actress ASI: I am Not a Robot; Love in the moonlight (secondary character)

16. Rookie Historian - NEW ENTRY

An independent, educated woman choses to become one of the first female court historians, rather than get married.

This show had a really interesting premise and I enjoyed watching the rookie female historians navigate court-life (battling workplace harassment, misogyny and patriarchal values) and developing a real friendship with each other. 

The female lead was fantastic - she was headstrong, pragmatic, unapologetically intelligent, a lover of books and a hater of injustice. She shared that love of books with the male lead, who was sensitive, soft-spoken, and innocent. The ultimate beta hero, who’s romantic fantasies involved him feeding her cookies and fanning her while she sleeps! 

Their romance took a backseat for a lot of the show, but I didn’t mind as the plot was exploring interesting topics such as intruders from the West, catholicism, and censorship, etc.

Actor ASI: My ID is Gangnam Beauty

Actress ASI: Bride of Habaek

17. Tempted/The Great Seducer - NEW ENTRY

In an act of revenge, a wealthy heir makes a bet with his friends to seduce a hardworking female college student 

10 minutes into this I started to get major Cruel Intentions vibes…which made sense when I found out it was also an adaptation of Dangerous Liaisons! It doesn’t have the dark edge or overt sexuality of Cruel Intentions (which is one of my favs) but its still good - mainly due to the male lead. I ADORED him in TKEM and he’s really good here. I’m a sucker for the ‘bad boy falls in love for the first time’ trope and he played it so well. The female lead was also good - she was self-aware, strong, intelligent and took no shit. I was less interested by the love affairs of the adults around them, but overall it was a good show. 

Actor ASI: TKEM (secondary character)

18. My Love from the Star

Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.

It took a couple of goes to get into this one, but I’m glad I finally watched the  whole thing (the female lead was initially very irritating, but she improved a lot).  I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.

Actor ASI: Its ok to not be ok. 

Actress ASI: Legend of the blue sea

19. Because this is my First Life

A rational-to-a-fault software designer and an aspiring screenwriter come up with an unconventional way to solve their housing problem

When I started this, I thought it was going to be all light and fluffy (the main character’s job in the beginning was to insert the product placement in Korean dramas - hello, Red Ginseng! - which I found hilarious and meta) but it had a surprisingly melancholic tone throughout and touched on issues of workplace harassment and gender roles. I didn’t warm to the male lead until right at the end (which was probably partly intentional - he’s very remote and closed off) but overall I found the story quite lovely. Plus it had a really great central female friendship and their conversations actually passed the Bechdel test!

20. My shy boss / Introverted boss

An extroverted actress takes a job at a PR company working for a man with crippling shyness

This was another deceptive show; I thought from the title and the synopsis that it would just be a light opposites attract comedy about an introverted man and an extroverted woman. But I was almost in tears by the second episode when the Tragic Backstory came to light, and we saw the full extent of the Boss’ struggles to communicate with other human beings. He has such a rich, funny, and smart inner monologue, and the way he overthinks every interaction is really endearing…which makes the contrast with his silent and withdrawn external persona all the more stark and heartbreaking. You really root for him to find happiness. This was overly long (a common pitfall with these shows) and there was some distracting shaky camera work in some of the close ups. There were also implications early on about workplace sexual harassment and possibly dubious consent in a one night stand which were dropped, leaving a bit of a sour note.  Despite that, it was overall fairly enjoyable and has one of the cutest confession scenes!

The OK

1. The K2

An ex-mercenary takes a job as a bodyguard protecting the illegitimate daughter of a politician. A sort-of Snow White retelling.

This started off really well; there are some amazing fight sequences (hello, shower room scene!) and JCW has never been hotter - its worth watching for him alone. However, the back half became really bogged down in double crosses and manipulations, and it focussed too much on the politicians. The writers did well to give these characters some layers, but they were all essentially doing bad things for the wrong reasons, and I just didn’t care about them. The show was much better when it was following K2’s journey. The romance also started off well, but was a bit underdeveloped (mainly because they barely interacted).

Actor ASI: Healer, suspicious partner, Backstreet rookie, Melting me softly

2.Bride of Habaek / Bride of the Water God

A God of the Land of Water visits the human realm to fulfil a task before ascending to his throne. He enlists the help of a ‘divine servant’, a down-on-her-luck psychiatrist.

I started this because I liked the lead actor. His baby-face can’t quite pull off the intensity needed for this role, but he was still cute as the arrogant, imperious God brought low by his circumstances - no money, house, powers or (most importantly to him) driving license. I also liked the female lead - she so desperately wanted to hide her kind, compassionate heart from a world that had battered and bruised her. There were some good individual scenes (especially the 'confession’ moment, which was just lovely), but the show ran out of steam towards the end, and ultimately felt like a waste of potential.

Actor ASI: Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo

Actress ASI: Rookie Historian

3. Her Private Life

A talented art curator tries to keep her professional persona separate from her fangirl obsession with a pop idol.

This was cute and I loved the central relationship - he was so supportive of her, and their interactions were refreshingly mature and their banter felt really natural. Ultimately, it was a bit forgettable (I’m not dying to rewatch any of it), and the last minute tacked-on childhood trauma subplot was really unnecessary.

Actress ASI: Healer, Whats wrong with secretary kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice.

4. Touch Your Heart

Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role

This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). It’s a bit too ‘cutesy’ and I had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.

5. My Secret Terrius

A secret agent on the run gets embroiled in the life of his next door neighbour - a mum of young twins.

The romance in this was underwhelming; the two characters ended in a really cute place, but it felt like set up for a story I probably would have liked more than this one. In saying that, this was still a relatively enjoyable watch; the female lead was great - she was constantly underestimated as ‘just a housewife’ but she was smarter, and more determined and resourceful than the spies around her. The male lead’s interactions with the twins were adorable, and there was a good cast of supporting characters. However, I’ve already pretty much forgotten the main espionage plot!

Actor ASI: Oh My Venus

6. Lawless Lawyer

A gangster-turned-lawyer moves to Gisung to take on corruption with the help of a suspended female attorney

I liked this more at the beginning; it reminded me a bit of Itaewon Class, with a charismatic lead, an intricately plotted revenge scheme that the audience only becomes aware of as the series progresses, and a take-no-shit female lead who was introduced hitting an authority figure! However, it never really gripped me (it took me weeks to finish) and a couple of the villains were overacting and hamming it up all over the place.  But I loved the two leads, and their relationship was good, despite feeling a bit rushed. 

Actor ASI: Scarlet Heart

Actress ASI: Its ok to not be ok, Hwarang (tertiary character)

7. 1% of Something - NEW ENTRY

To gain his inheritance, an arrogant, aloof CEO has to enter into a marriage contract with a sweet primary school teacher.

I liked how streamlined this was: it was just a show about two people who fall in love despite their best intentions. There was no overly complicated plot, and even the conflict that keeps them apart towards the end felt very organic and unforced. 

She is a delightful ball of sunshine. He is a little overbearing but has his own charm. And bear with the bad haircut and appalling fashion sense - he improves at the end!

8. Melting Me Softly

Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.

Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.

Actor ASI: The K2, healer, suspicious partner, backstreet rookie

Actress ASI: Just Between Lovers

9. My Sassy Girl

A 'sassy’ princess meets an ambitious scholar in less than ideal circumstances…

I enjoyed the fact that this Joseon period drama focused on a Princess for a change, and not a prince. She came across as more 'obnoxious and immature’ than 'sassy’ in the beginning, but once it was made clear that she was actually a decent, kind person underneath, I soon warmed to her. I also liked the relationship with the male lead, which amounted to a pretty good enemies-to-lovers story. It took a bit of an unexpected turn right at the end, but my independent, feminine self was good with it. Overall, this was a pretty easy watch, but nothing special.

10. Hwarang

Follows a peasant who joins the newly-created Hwarang (Poet Warrior Youths in ancient Korea) to enact revenge for the death of his best friend

I enjoyed the scenes of the Hwarang hanging out and bonding - so many cute bromances in this! But I couldn’t really connect with the central story and romance, due to a major case of SLS (Second Lead Syndrome) - as much as I’m a fan of Park Seo-joon, I adore Park Hyung-sik, and I found his character, journey and relationship with the female lead much more compelling. The ending still managed to feel somewhat satisfying, but I won’t be rewatching any of it.

Actor ASI: Itaewon class, What’s wrong with secretary kim, Fight for my way

The BAD 

1. Hyde, Jekyll and Me

A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body

Hyun Bin is sooo watchable in this, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well…but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot. It was a bit of a slog to get through, to be honest.

Actor ASI: CLOY

2. Queen: Love and War

The long lost twin of a recently assassinated Queen assumes her identity to enter the Bridal selection to wed the resurrected King and seek revenge.

This was a bit of a mess (as you can tell from that synopsis!); it felt like the first few episodes were rushed through as a sort of ‘prologue’ before the main thrust of the story…but that prologue contained A LOT of plot with some major character revelations that were rapidly skimmed over (e.g. the female lead was introduced as having complete amnesia; but almost out of nowhere she casually mentions that she got all her memories back and now knows who she is). Because of this, it took me a while to get a sense of who the characters really were. A lot of the usual Joseon plot points played out (scheming ministers and untrustworthy queens) but it had some unique features - I especially enjoyed the bridal selection scenes and seeing the lead female outwitting her rivals in the various challenges. But ultimately, I fast forwarded a lot of this and it was pretty forgettable.

Actress ASI: Doctor Stranger. 

Actor ASI: Backstreet Rookie (secondary character)

3. Backstreet Rookie

A struggling young woman takes a part-time job at the convenience store run by her high school crush. 

I was really not a fan of this show, and probably would have stopped watching if it wasn’t for Kim Yoo-jung. Her character was really likeable - kickass, but vulnerable, and so loving and kind. You were really rooting for her throughout.  The show also had some interesting things to say about inequality (there was a lovely scene between the male leads’s parents in episode 10 touching on this theme)…but that’s about it for the positives. 

Overall, it was just too OTT and manic and most of the characters were barely more than cartoonish caricatures. One character was actually repulsive, and the fact that he got his own romantic subplot was just gross. I’m a big fan of Ji Chang-wook, but I didn’t like some of his acting choices in this, and his character spent far too long in a relationship with another woman, which meant the main romance felt underdeveloped. 

And…it ended without a kiss. I was so pissed off! I put up with 16 episodes of crap, expecting a decent pay-off at the end…but no. I wouldn’t recommend this one. 

Actress ASI: Love in the Moonlight

Actor ASI: Suspicious Partner, Healer, K2, Melting me Softly

The UNCLASSIFIABLE

Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo

A modern girl is transported 1000 years into the past where she becomes embroiled in the lives of the Royal Princes.

I honestly don’t know where I stand with this one! Did I love it? Did I hate it? I seriously don’t know!

I was reluctant to start this (I knew it didn’t have a happy ending) but I was told its a rite of passage for KDrama newbies to watch this show. And there were some great things about it - the male lead was amazing! So intense and tragic, with the most arresting face. The music was also GORGEOUS, as was the scenery - the whole production felt very sumptuous. The palace intrigue stuff was also more compelling than most of the other historic dramas I’ve seen. I recognised several of the Princes from other shows, and I became really invested in 3 of them…which made the constant threat of them betraying each other/killing each other AGONISING. This show was heavy on the Emotional Torture Porn, and some of it felt gratuitous, because I just didn’t understand the motivations behind some of the plot points/character’s actions.

I also wasn’t a big fan of the female lead; partly because the actress only seemed to have 2 facial expressions to work with, but partly because and any hints that she was a modern girl with modern sensibilities quickly disappeared. It was this independence and spunk that made all the princes fall for her (to varying degrees) but she lost all of that and it left me wondering why they bothered with the time travel aspect at all.

I finished the show feeling wrung out and with the overwhelming sense of “Why? What was the point of that?”

Buuuuuut…it has lingered with me - as @talenevertold said when we were discussing the show, “Nobody enjoys it in the process… but it leaves this unique bittersweet aftertaste…” and that’s absolutely true; and it probably true that this show IS a rite of passage that everyone should watch. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!

and...The MEH (i.e. DNF):

This list is getting long! I have a bit less patience with shows than I did in the beginning - there are so many to get through, so I’m not willing to waste my time on anything that either doesn’t grip me from a story perspective, is far too slow, has mediocre acting and/or is too soapy.

Master’s sun

Tale of Nokdu

The Heirs

Meow, the Secret Boy

Love Alarm

One Spring Night

Suits

Chocolate 

Doctor Stranger 

The scholar who walks the night 

If I’ve made a heinous mistake by dropping any of these - get in touch and plead the case for why i should give them another chance!

[tessatechaitea]

Justice League #1 (1987)

This is actually a more impressive line-up than I remember.

I'm pretty sure this line-up is a huge scam. I don't remember Doctor Fate interacting too much with this group and I think Shazam bows out fairly quickly. Batman probably does that thing where he acts like he's leader (even if Martian Manhunter actually is) and only helps out every sixth mission. So at that point, the line-up is already decreasing in strength and intimidation factor quickly. Adding Fire, Ice, and Booster Gold later won't really improve the team much. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My impressions from this initial cover were "Wow! Pretty interesting team!" and "What asshole fucking decided on the shit stencil font for the title?" Sorry, I cuss a lot when I'm writing on the Internet and trying to seem like a bad-ass. The issue begins with Guy Gardner calling the other Green Lanterns jerks and suggesting, to himself, that he should be the Commander-in-Chief of the new Justice League. Some people would read this first page and think, "What an arrogant fucking asshole." But my stomach got all queasy and I giggled a little bit and I muttered quietly under my breath, "I love him."

I'm not saying it isn't composed of some truly ridiculous aspects but Guy still has the best costume in the DC Universe.

I don't love everything about Guy Gardner because most writers at the time didn't truly understand him. They made him a jerk that nobody would like because they were too cold-hearted to see the brain damaged cool guy that he really was. Guy Gardner often needed to be written by somebody who loved the character; it would have done him a world of good. He could still have been that abrasive jerk. But written deftly, those who actually cared to take the time would see his true self. Sure, that would also be an abrasive jerk! But a little bit more likable!

Stallone was pretty sensitive in a few scenes in Rocky IV!

Black Canary is second to arrive, after which Mister Miracle and Oberon show up. I never quite understood how Oberon fit into the Justice League. Wasn't he like an agent or a manager? Did Batman and Martian Manhunter need Oberon to sign off on every mission or else Scott Free would have to remain behind? I bet he was included just so Giffen and DeMatteis could make dwarf jokes.

Why would Guy choose Sneezy?! Oberon's breathing has been impeccable since he arrived!

Normally after some kind of cynical prediction about the comic book that immediately is proved true, I'd write, "Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!" But it doesn't feel right to say it in this case. I mean, Oberon is present for four panels before he becomes the butt of a joke based on his diminutive nature. And by Guy Gardner, no less! Is this why I loved him so much at sixteen?! What a terrible and typical sixteen year old white heterosexual male I was! Black Canary (whose costume I'm just now noticing is really fucking weird) responds to Guy's awful behavior by saying, "Dozens of GLs around and we get 'Rambo' with a ring!" That's unfair to Rambo! I'm also unsure who in this story (including the writers of this story) have actually seen First Blood. Gardner is more like the authority mad Sheriff Teasle than the sensitive green beret John Rambo! Rambo should be admired as a hero, battling back against corrupt cops who think they have the right to use as much force as they want for any stupid fucking reason! It's possible they were talking about the Rambo from the second film who gets to kill more than one person because the people he's killing are Russians and Vietnamese. He does get a bit murder crazy in the second film. Or maybe they're talking about Rambo from the third film which wasn't actually out yet so I don't have to read up on it. Next to arrive are Captain Marvel, Blue Beetle, and Martian Manhunter. Martian Manhunter proves to be a buzzkill, reminding everybody how the old series ended in total death and disaster.

His view of the media is pretty spot on though.

J'onn calls up the files of Steel, Gypsy, Vixen, and Vibe before purging them completely from the Justice League computer. That's probably a good idea, like deleting old joke tweets on Twitter that were a bit racist and also boring. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord IV watches from a distance, doing that Ozymandias thing where you watch dozens of televisions at once. I think it proves you're a genius whose done the research and contemplated all sides of an issue before making up your totally rational and logical mind about any issue. As opposed to us losers who simply use compassion and empathy to almost immediately understand the correct and most ethical path to take. Maxwell Lord IV watches all of this television and decides the correct course to take is to leave the "America" off of the Justice League of America this time. Oh, and also the "of".

Maybe this is why I liked Guy so much: because he knew the saying was "you've got another think coming." Look, I'm going to be desperately finding good reasons to have liked Guy Gardner so much when Giffen and DeMatteis are this determined to make him a huge and unlikable jerk.

Look, I was sixteen! Hardly the best time in a young man's life for qualities like compassion and empathy and fashion sense and hair styles! I'm also fairly certain it wasn't this comic book that made me like him so much. I'm pretty sure he gets knocked out by Batman with one punch before the year is over and I remember loving that scene. So I probably despised him like a good reader of Justice League was supposed to do. Hopefully he'll have some character moments during this series that will show why I wound up liking him so much as a character. Right now, he's just a complete and utter asshole. The five panels following the one I just scanned consist of Guy once again calling Oberon "Sneezy" and then suggesting Black Canary is going to want to fuck him soon enough. Martian Manhunter tries to break it up and just winds up part of the chaos.

Okay, I'm starting to get why I might have liked him at sixteen, even after the first few pages. To a sixteen year old white male, mocking Martian Manhunter with a "Ho-ho-ho" trumps ableism, sexism, and, with this attack on J'onn for his inherent physical Martianness, almost certainly racism as well.

Guy continues to play the role of Squeaky Wheel for another page or two. I suppose if you want more on-panel time than the other heroes, you've got to be a raging asshole. I can't say I'm not entertained by it!

Captain Marvel earns a little of my love with this line as well. No shame in drinking warm milk at night!

This is only nine pages into the first issue and Guy has completely derailed the formation of the new Justice League. Was this blasphemy to previous fans of the Justice League where the team may have had some minor squabbles about various things and Batman would quit every six issues but mostly they didn't break out into brawls whenever they got together? Or were internal struggles and arguments a regular plot point? I have no idea because the only Justice League comics I read previous to this title were the terrible months where everything was breaking down and then Steel betrayed them and Vibe was killed off and Martian Manhunter felt like a huge failure. Although was Aquaman leading the team at the time? I dislike Aquaman so much, I'm just going to believe he was leading the team and that's why everything completely fell apart. He sucks. Once per day, I think about that lousy meme trying to prove Aquaman wasn't useless by using the image from New 52 Justice League where he controls a bunch of great whites to breach and kill a bunch of parademons and I hate everybody who actually thought that was a cool moment. Batman and Doctor Fate arrive in the middle of the Justice League brawl (which even Martian Manhunter, the only adult in the room, is taken part in) and shuts shit down The Batman way.

I guess heroes are also a cowardly lot.

Meanwhile, Doctor Light winds up being held hostage with the rest of the United Nations by some white terrorists. I felt I needed to say they were white because a lot of racist assholes can only envision terrorists one way. Also, I should always describe people as white when they're white since I don't want to be an accomplice to maintaining a world where we assume a person mentioned is white, male, and heterosexual unless they're described more fully. Doctor Light was given a Justice League emergency beeper by a mysterious figure some time previously. This isn't revealed but I just read Justice League Spectacular #1 so I know Maxwell Lord gave her the device so that she could alert the Justice League when the United Nations was taken hostage by terrorists that Maxwell Lord IV paid. It's all about getting some early press! There's an advert for the new Flash which I'm surprised I didn't pick up since the advert shows him having some kind of accident in a sperm bank.

Ew Flash is right!

The Justice League head over to stop the terrorist attack. At some point, Doctor Fate disappears to go do something else and I think he never comes back? Is that why I barely remember him as a part of this league? Was he just there to look cool on the cover and fool all the lovers of DC magic users? The League storms the UN, murdering several terrorists.

Look. Manhunter either phased their heads into the solid ceiling or he smashed their skulls straight through the roof. Either way, I don't see a high percentage chance of their survival.

The Justice League capture all the terrorists and then Batman has the building evacuated, leaving just the leader of the terrorists alone in the United Nations building threatening to kill himself so that the bomb attached to his heart would detonate and kill them all. He does kill himself but the bomb doesn't detonate. And the thing is, Batman realized during the mission that the bomb was almost certainly a bluff. So he left the man alone to kill himself. Later we discover the man had a history of mental illness. So this, to Batman, is justice? Batman almost certainly realized the man was being manipulated and that he'd definitely kill himself to blow the bomb and Batman let the man do it. Batman is a fucking monster. After the event, the media points out that the terrorists were mostly composed of 60s radical groups like the Weathermen and the Black Panthers. Which is odd because there wasn't one black terrorist in the bunch. The issue ends with Max Lord talking to himself and admitting to being the one who staged the terrorist attack. He also knew the leader was unstable enough to kill himself for the cause and he sent him in with a bomb that definitely wouldn't blow. So he's a fucking monster as well. And Martian Manhunter is a monster, not because he's a weirdo martian, but because he basically popped the heads on a few of the terrorists. No way will I believe those guys hanging from the ceiling by their necks survived! All in all, Guy Gardner is starting to look like a rational member of this group! Justice League #1 Rating: B+. A better than average start to the new Justice League, building some intrigue and conflict right from the start. Who is Max Lord? What are his plans for the Justice League? Why is he acting like it's his group? Will Doctor Fate ever return? Will Oberon poison Guy Gardner? Will Black Canary and Doctor Light become best friends because they're the only women in the League? Will Guy Gardner and Batman ever come to blows? I can answer that! They will not! They'll just come to blow. One punch by Batman. And that one punch causes some severe psychological trauma to Gardner and nobody thinks he should get medical help simply because he starts acting nicer. They're all fucking monsters!

[savrenim]

mx savrenim! mx. savrenim! I have a writing question: Im writing a story about people who can see the future, and I'm wondering how you made it feels more like a memory not like, a gut wrenching tragedy? Its deffo painful, but Im pretty sure you mentioned wanting to give it a happy ending? If so: how. The concept of future vision is so cool but the implications and the way it plays out is horrifying and heartbreaking rip. I just wanna give my characters some chance at a happy ending

gods okay this is a good question that I have a lot of Weird Strong Feelings about bc time is the single thing that I have the strongest opinions about let’s go under the cut

so the thing that makes your question interesting to me-- “how do you make a story with future powers not a gut-wrenching tragedy”-- is that..... to me, at least, there is absolutely nothing inherent in the setup of future-seeing powers that should imply that the story should be a gut-wrenching tragedy? your problem is assuming that there has to be anything tragic involved. free yourself from that perception and you will be free to write whatever you want.

ifmlam is a gut-wrenching tragedy right now because the feeling that I was going for was “hmmmm the exact gut-wrenching feeling that The World Was Wide Enough makes me feel” and it’s having a happy ending because I decided to write a fic bc “goddamnit I need a fix-it, like, right now.” Seeing the future is cool but it’s also just a plot-and-setting device. and the story feels the way it feels because I designed how it works around exactly how I wanted it to feel?

my current other major project, trash novel, is about a seer who hunts down other seers for dramatic stop-the-world-from-devolving-into-war-and-maybe-ending reasons. except the vibes are... SO different. the vibes are “shit there’s like a dozen way way overpowered teenagers and twenty-something-year-olds who hold the fate of the world in their hands except they’re being dumb assess getting overly involved in personal drama with one another and are maybe going to blow up the planet.” and so instead of this quasi-religious worldwide honor around a single Seer and visions of the future that work one particular way and the main character being this poor fragile darling that needs to be protected and the reverence with which the plot treats the usage of future-powers, the main character of the opus series named herself “Fuck You” and has the power to see like ten seconds tops into the future and uses it to be really fucking good at magic fistfighting and accidentally gets involved in trying to take over a foreign/soon to be enemy government while trying to make friends with the ambassador that it’s her mission to protect him and like spy on that government to make sure they’re not messing with the future, but because he’s really pissed off at his ex and his shitty parents kind of for trying to force him to marry his ex and also his entire home country for siding with his ex he decides to take advantage of the fact that Saes thinks that overthrowing a government is maybe appropriate friend bonding activities to Take Revenge. and overthrow the government. meanwhile his cousin just outright admits in her second scene that she is trying to take over the first their government in then the world and is like 90% of the way there and really isn’t trying to hide the fact that she has committed to a plan that makes everyone think she is The Villain but Saes in particular bc Saes doesn’t want her home country to be conquered, but while Saes thinks this makes them moral enemies Asterna thinks that Saes is very hot because Saes is the single person who can beat her in a fistfight. they get into a misunderstanding fake-dating relationship for at ~80k words of the first arc. the ex is also trying to take over the government partially bc he feels the family pressure to continue their influence and partially bc he’s still in love with Luka and wants to try to win him back. at least three main characters have very poorly thought out one-night stands with other characters just for spite. there’s a character whose name is “Godkiller.” 

you can probably tell from the description that it’s very VERY different vibes from ifmlam. there are seers with more longreaching abilities than 10 seconds in the setting, who are trying to use their powers to seriously manipulate outcomes of events, and some deep political implications of that; it’s not all flashy ridiculousness. there are parts of it that get tragic (gods do parts of it get emotional and gods are some of those emotions tragic), but it’s never terribly tragic for very long, and it never feels like a heart-wrenching tragedy as a genre. everyone is a gay mess, extra emphasis on the gay AND the mess, and it reads like ridiculous action drama intrigue almost like a DnD campaign? 

and it’s because of both (a) the seer powers that are being highlighted work differently but also (b) the seer pov character has a fundamentally different perception of themselves. Aaron Burr sees himself as pretty much a McGuffin and he hates it and there’s a large portion of his character and character arc and hence the plot itself that revolves around him not feeling like he has any sort of control over his life or the impact of his powers. he’s afraid of himself and what he can do, he’s afraid of letting people in and being used, he’s afraid of the impact that he or someone wielding him might have on the world, and he doesn’t quite see himself as a person, more like a glass statue of one housing powers -- and that contributes to the tragedy and vastly affects the tone of the whole thing. when the viewpoint character feels helpless, when the viewpoint character doesn’t believe in themselves, when the viewpoint character is pretty much a McGuffin: incredibly powerful and useful to powerful people, but unable to control their own fate -- that gives the story a certain feeling.

Saes Imirin is nothing like Aaron Burr because Saes isn’t afraid of herself. Saes is completely at peace with what she can do, and actually thinks it’s pretty cool. She’s working for the people she’s working for because she’s decided that’s probably where she’ll do the least harm in the world, and also because she likes her apartment. if she changes her mind she changes her allegiance. she has stared down armies and has never really feared for herself, because she’s a fucking badass, and she knows that she can always pick the future where she wins so why should she ever feel afraid.

if you don’t want your characters to feel tragic, then don’t have them be afraid of themselves. don’t have them doubt themselves. but also, construct the way that future-seeing powers work so that they’re not set up to be a tragedy. the biggest being the most important pair of questions: how accurate/specific are the powers? and how unchangeable is the future?

Saes Imirin’s powers are 100% accurate and 100% specific, albeit contained to usually one to three but at most ten seconds. The future is also 100% changeable; the way her powers works is that she sees all possible futures and then physically moves the way that she did in the one where she’s won. Aaron Burr’s powers are..... death visions I’d put at, like.... 90sh % “accuracy”? in that they always show a possible and in fact usually most probable for the timeline we’re on now sort of death for someone. but they’re also very changeable. but time itself has a momentum and “pushes back” against those changes in the plot of ifmlam (someone doesn’t die in one duel will die in another, etc) which lends to a strong feeling of inevitability despite the relative amount of freedom those powers have. 

imo, future-seeing usually lends itself to tragedy when it’s about seeing something terrible/attempting to subvert something that cannot be fixed because it is the future. if you establish early on that all visions/prophecies must come true exactly, that will usually put a fair amount of tension on your plot and it will make things feel tragic, especially if characters end up getting a future that they really really don’t like. the more unchangeable things are, the more it usually tends towards tragedy.

(I say “usually” because, like. I’m still waiting for a story in which future-seeing is absolute and someone gets a prophecy that “and if you choose to go forward and step through this room your fate will be sealed, you will die on this specific day in this exact way and nothing in the universe can change that”, the character goes “cool”, does it, and promptly begins taking advantage of their immortality up until that day to do Utterly Ridiculous Things to become a weird hyper luck-based superhero of, like, “I can jump off this building bc in the vision I was fine and unhurt so I can’t get wounded in any sort of way that’ll make me unable to run and jump around” “I can totally try eating this mystery goo let’s see what it does” “hmmm the enemy fired their superbomb into the heart of our capital guess I just have to sit here next to it so that it will keep malfunctioning in some strange unspecified way and not going off because it can’t kill me here and now my fate is set in stone” etc. just. someone give me that comedy p l e a s e. I’m picturing Monty Python level of shenanigans.)

but yeah, usually, the more set in stone a future is, the more likely a story is to take a turn for the tragic, because when the future isn’t ~set in stone~ prophecies function more as useful warnings that can be interpreted to do useful things and save the day and not terrible foreboding omens of doom. high accuracy with high changeability is a cool superpower. low.... specificity, at least, leads to stories where usually you go “oH SHIIIIIT” afterwards as you get the end and the last thing clicks in place and now the entire plot in hindsight is So Much Different and they only lend themselves to tragedy if they’re useless as warnings and are just “fuck oh THAT’S what it meant and if I understood it I could have changed it”. and then inherent low changeability is both easiest to lend to tragedy and imo the hardest to write because you write yourself into a corner? (and you also make some pretty deep philosophical statements about determinism and free will depending on how you characterize time.) but so long as everyone has a chance to change things, the story won’t feel hopeless.

this has gotten long and rambly bc it’s ungodly o clock in the morning and, like, if the heart of the thesis of your story is “knowing the future is Fucked Up and Fucks You Up” and your story is on the deep seated societal implications about a world where some measure of seeing the future exists, like.... there are ways in which things might be tragic, but there are ways to counter that by making things mundane? a la lightening benders in legend of korra working at electricity plants. having seers with tiny mundane powers and/or who don’t really care about their powers and don’t use them too much or who just think of them as annoying side noise, but at the heart of it, oops stealing also from mob psycho 100 bc oops I just rewatched it and am mildly obsessed with it and its message and just dear gods how it manages to pull off its emotional impact....

psychic powers are just another trait. like people who can run fast or who study hard or sing really well or have strong body odor, or have psychic powers. they don’t make you any more special than anything else. who you are and what you do isn’t set in stone, it’s choices that you can make.

and finally, if your world is tragic bc you’ve decided to lean into the “the public perceives seers as special / dangerous / other “ and so you don’t want to adjust how the powers themselves work and how the public sees it, there’s always the trick of just, like.... let characters’ actions have meaning. let them win. and it won’t be a tragedy, not really.

[bigskydreaming]

thehollowprince said: And I also stand by the opinion that they could have just done a solo run of the O5 X-Men starting a new timeline with the information they got from the future.

thehollowprince said: Its not like Marvel doesn’t constantly do AUs and retcons

OMG Josh you have no idea how bad I wanted this. They could’ve done SO MUCH with that concept. Letting the 05 keep their foreknowledge and the world they could have created with that?

They could’ve averted the initial Krakoan mission and saved Darwin, Gabe, Petra and Sway in the first place. They could have all been X-Men from their Day One, Scott and Alex would have actually gotten to KNOW their brother and Gabe quite possibly would never have gone full Dark Side despite the writers apparently now seeming obsessed with the idea there’s just something innately bad within Gabe that’s always destined to bear fruit at some point, ugh, whatever, like who do you think you are, Kant?

They could’ve recruited the Giant Size X-Men lineup earlier, and saved John Proudstar, who side by side with his brother Jamie, are a force to be reckoned with. 

They could have convinced Pietro and Wanda to join them instead of the Avengers and been like no but seriously that way lies nothing but shitty storylines and bad decisions that will be blamed on you by your teammates despite the fact that any and all of the bad decisions that were ACTUALLY yours could have been averted if any of your teammates were capable of functioning as an actual support system. Come join us. We have actual support systems, except for the times when we don’t, but we recruited Deadpool to break the fourth wall and he and Logan are currently cutting through the ranks of every writer who would write as hating and fighting each other instead of being a loving fucking family goddammit.

Jean could have faced the Phoenix head-on when the time for that came, using her knowledge of the future not to fear an inevitable death, but rather to know she had nothing TO fear, that the power to not control this force, but just be ONE with it, with no NEED to control it or be controlled by it, a symbiotic union, two beings in harmony deciding on courses of action together. The Phoenix’s innate powers and prerogative of rebirth and destruction tempered by Jean’s mercy, aimed and focused by Jean’s reason, the double-edged sword that is fire capable of warming homes or destroying them completely combined with Jean’s conscience guiding it to use its power for the former rather than the latter.

They could have stopped the Legacy Virus from getting out and killing millions as well as spared us from migraines induced by an AIDS metaphor so shitty at being a metaphor most people forget it was literally written to be an AIDS metaphor.

The body swap would never have happened and Kwannon could have joined the X-Men as a full member from the time she was introduced, rather than dragged along in the wake of Betsy’s tangled storylines for a couple decades.

They could have stopped Fitzroy from killing the Hellions. Hell, if they train Illyana early enough and have her mentored by Wanda who is perfectly fucking competent when left to her own devices, then like, maybe they can even take a jaunt to the future to save Fitzroy from dying in the first place and being resurrected with no soul. Not gonna lie, ever since then I’ve kinda been seriously interested in what the hell would a hero version of Trevor freaking Fitzroy even BE like, y’know? Call it morbid fascination, but like. I kinda want it, guys. LOL.

Add to that note, they could have taken another jaunt to the future and rescued Rachel from being made into a Hound by Ahab. Through the power of some convoluted plot tangle I just made up for convenience, Scott still ends up in a relationship with Maddy briefly, in one of those self-fulfilling prophecy type things where he went into it with the full intention of just averting the future and saving Maddy from her fate as the Goblyn Queen, but somehow ended up in a love triangle with a very alive Jean and Maddy who is fully informed of Sinister’s shenanigans and quite displeased with that asshole, and look, I don’t know how all of this goes exactly, but let’s cut to the chase, my only real endgame with this is making sure that Nate’s born properly, saved from Apocalypse and the techno-virus by the combined efforts of Scott, Maddy and Jean as well as Uncles Warren, Bobby and Hank, and Jean calls up the Phoenix through some psychic bond or whatever and is like hey girl, can I hit you up for a loan real quick? Got some losers that need toasting. 

And in this AU the Phoenix totally has her back, and one brief cosmic power-up and gratuitous Sailor Moon transformation later, Jean glows and intones some epic one-liners with appropriate gravitas, and then just punts both Apocalypse and Sinister to the far side of the universe, never to be seen or heard from again. They like, hit a black hole on the way there I guess. It was very sad. Violin strings may commence with the requiem. Okay that’s enough, they can stop now.

So then through the plot contrivances of fuck you, I said so, Scott and Maddy ultimately part amicably and Scott and Jean get back together and the three of them civilly co-parent both baby Nate and Rachel, as Maddy keeps the healing powers she gained as Anodine and stays with the X-Men for her own reasons.

The telepaths are all better trained by the expertise Jean gained in her powers while in the future, so the next time the Shadow King comes bumming around looking to cause chaos, Betsy, Emma and Jean just look at each other and laugh and say nuh-uh before psychically squishing him into a marble.

Warren never becomes Archangel. Onslaught isn’t a thing. They make nice with Magneto and say okay you may have a couple points, let’s discuss. Bishop arrives in the past for reasons totally unrelated to his original story, has no traitor to seek out among the X-Men, and thus he and Gambit end up besties in complete defiance of that stupid fucking story and because I just think they’re neat together. Yes I said neat. Gambit and Bishop are just neat. Deal with it. 

Bishop still hates that Fitzroy guy though, he’s like, I don’t even know what it is about that guy, he just rubs me the wrong way, even though Fitzroy is not evil here and has always done good with his powers, which are channeled through a device Forge made him that lets him just absorb life force from a wide range around him, spread out and diluted enough that its like, the grass feels weird for a second, like whoa what even was that, and then its over. Actually, y’know what, scratch that. Fitzroy’s powers are stupid and unnecessary the way they are now anyway, so fuck it, this Fitzroy doesn’t need life force or whatever, he’s just a dude who makes time portals. He’s like Illyana with green hair and that ugly goatee. Hey I said this Fitzroy was non-evil, not that he was perfect.

Bobby’s out and proud since he was sixteen, and with actual competence and proficiency with his powers, which make him a Literal Unkillable Gay Icon, he’s an inspiration to LGBTQ+ teens everywhere and inspires other gay, bi and trans heroes to come out. He’s a big brother figure to all the baby gays that later join the X-Men, like, Rictor comes to him for advice back during the time equivalent to early X-Factor, when Rictor’s a trying-too-hard sixteen year old who thought college age Bobby was like the coolest, which is valid, because X-Factor Bobby was like A+ Bobby characterization and deserves more reads. 

So Rictor comes out earlier as well, and by the time they even meet Shatterstar, instead of a slow burn friends to roommates to lovers scenario, Rictor takes one look at the love of his life and wastes no time coming out swinging with an absolutely terrible pick up line. Look, I said his big brother figure Bobby was out and proud in this AU, not that he magically had a better sense of humor. Some things just don’t change, y’know? Luckily, Shatterstar is a weirdo, and thus he finds terrible pick-up lines charming. At least when its Rictor saying them. They walk off for a first date, already practically hand in hand, voices fading into the distance as Rictor asks “By the way, have you met Dazzler yet? According to Bobby, apparently she’s your mom. That Longshot dude with the mullet over there is your dad I guess. We should go say hi.”

Hank gets an assistant hand-picked by the rest of the original X-Men, and who has one job and one job only. To follow him around and observe all his experiments, and he has veto power over experiments that People With IQs As High As Yours Should Know Better But I Guess You’ve Got Reed Richards Syndrome.

Hank’s like, “Hmm, if I built a time machine I could go back to the Jurassic Period and observe whether my theory of - “

Hank’s assistant: “Veto.”

“Damn. Okay I was also thinking of making a deep space communicator that can reach into the farthest reaches of space beyond any known civilization and just say hi, y’know? See if anyone’s out there.”

“Veto.”

“If I combine these genetically modified antibodies here with this strain of of DNA from - “

“Veto.”

“Well Forge built this device that does this to mutant powers but I think I can make it do - “

“Veto.”

“These nanobots I - “

“VETO,”

“Honestly, at this point I think you’re just saying that just because you like saying it.”

“Dr. McCoy, I promise you, I’m really, really not.”

Logan finds out about his future clan of stabby children, and seeks them out. He rescues Daken from Romulus, somebody stabs that loser with the immortal-killing sword, I don’t even care who, and after a few tense months of Logan trying too hard, he and Daken eventually bond over how hockey just isn’t violent enough. If you’re going to make a sport all about hitting each other, just really go for it or don’t even bother, y’know? Logan claps him on the shoulder and sniffs. That’s my boy. Then they find and rescue Laura and Gabby and take a road trip to Earth 1610 to pick up Jimmy. They have a house on campus, and new students walking by it are used to hearing loud growling and even howls. They were assured during orientation that that’s nothing to worry about, it just means the House of Snikt are watching a game and are rooting for opposing sides. 

Emma’s recruited practically the day they get back. She’s only just started at the Hellfire Club and has only done a tiny bit of Evil when Warren schedules an appointment with her, and then he, Scott and Jean make a better pitch than Shaw and his ilk could ever match. They’ve been to the future. Come join with us and we’ll give you an all access pass to memories detailing exactly what’s going to happen in these particular areas and many more. All you have to do is ask. Oh and also please don’t seduce any married teammates. Its bad form. To be honest, I don’t think it’ll be an issue because Deadpool assures us Morrison has been taken care of, and don’t worry if that makes no sense to you, its a head-scratcher for us to. Just roll with it. 

Nate ages normally here so its not like he ends up besties with forty year old Wade, but the latter having his own plot-contrived knowledge of the future because He’s Just Like That, decides that he won’t be denied at least SOME kind of bond with The Bestie That Wasn’t. He becomes Nate’s official babysitter. Well, not official, seeing as how Scott, Jean and Maddy don’t hire him and are very clear that their son is not to be left alone with this man at any time, he is a terrible influence and he keeps giving our kid guns. But then Wade just shows up anytime they’re out because he just has a sixth sense for Making Trouble, and he terrifies away whatever babysitter’s there and greets the returning and exasperated parents with a cheery wave. 

“I know what you’re going to say, but don’t worry, we didn’t do anything dangerous or against the law. All we did today was I taught him to make bombs, but we were very careful, we wore safety goggles and really, they were very little bombs. Not even anything atomic. I honestly don’t think any of them could have even blown up this whole house, and I’ve been meaning to say, I’m not impressed with the structural integrity of this place. Couldn’t you have picked something with a sturdier foundation? Its like you don’t even expect random space mercenaries to attack your place out of the blue every other month. Have any of you even read a single issue of your own comics?”

Scott’s jaw twitches Ominously. Wade starts gathering up his things. Jean rubs her forehead wearily.

“Wade, what do you even think ‘dangerous’ means?”

Wade pauses and cocks his head. Gives it a solid twenty seconds of thought. Then he shrugs. 

“I don’t know actually. Don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it. I always figured it was just one of those things people just say. Like, ‘oh, it looks like rain today,’ even if they’re not a forecaster and have no real meteorological credentials to speak of. ‘Oh, this mission will be dangerous,’ and I don’t even have to use up all my ammo and I only get shot twice. Y’know?”

“Leave,” Scott says. More like intones. House shakes a little bit but that might just be Wade’s imagination. Its very active.

“Leaving!” He says hastily. He jumps through the closed window and then teleports away amid the falling shower of broken glass. Why didn’t he do that while he was still inside the room? No one knows. Not even Wade knows. Why did the chicken cross the road? Who the fuck cares, now is it Original Recipe or Crispy?

Scott, Jean and Maddy search the house while Nate angelically claims they won’t find anything, Wade doesn’t even bring him cool stuff anymore cuz he knows you’ll just take it.

Maddy finds a high-tech laser space gun under a floorboard in the closet. She holds it up with one eyebrow raised pointedly. Scott and Jean flank her and their own eyebrows raise in solidarity. Well Jean’s does. Scott’s probably does but its hard to tell sometimes. Depends on what glasses or visor he’s wearing.

“That was already there,” Nate tries. Most powerful telepath and telekinetic in the world, but the kid can’t lie for shit. There’s not much point in trying when one of your moms is the freaking Phoenix, and that’s a skill that takes practice he just doesn’t have. 

The three sets of parental eyebrows make a V, judgingly.

“One month of no video games or TV?” Okay, so terrible liar but quick on his feet. At least he knows when he’s beat and jumps straight to trying to shape his own punishment proactively.

“Two months. And no flying lessons either,” Jean says. “And don’t pout at me, young man. You know the rules. No weapons inside the house unless your grandpa Corsair is visitng and we’re too tired to fight him on keeping knives under his pillow. This is a Do As We Say, Not As We Do house. Deal with it. Now, this is going with the others and you can have it back when you’re eighteen.”

It would have been three months, but Jean and Maddy caught a telepathic sniff from Scott. He’s just so proud of his kid thinking so tactically. He’s growing up so fast. Both women mentally roll their eyes. Why is he like this.

“I don’t see what the big deal is anyway,” Nate sulks. “Its just a stupid laser gun. I mean, Uncle Gabe blew up our last house with his brain.” 

“Yes and it was an accident and he feels absolutely terrible about that which is why we’re not going to bring it up when he and Armando come visit this weekend, right?”

“You can have my full compliance for two weeks off my sentence.”

“Or we can have your full compliance or two weeks will be added to your sentence,” Maddy says.

“You guys suck,” declares the ten year old vessel of near unlimited psychic might. He goes to his room, stomping all the way up the stairs so his grievances can be heard even by the House of Snikt next door. Course, they’ve already been listening to the whole thing with their enhanced hearing. There was nothing good on TV. Jimmy made popcorn and chewed with his mouth open just to piss off Daken. 

‘The second Father leaves the room, I am going to stab you in such a slow healing place you’ll still be bleeding at bed time.’ Daken mouths at his little brother from another universe. Jimmy scrunches his face in confusion. 

‘What?’ He mouths back. He’s terrible at reading lips. Or anything that isn’t skateboarding, really. And yet Father’s so happy that ‘at least one of my kids is content with stupid normal stuff and doesn’t go around drawing cover fire just because a mission is going so well its boring and they haven’t even gotten to pop their claws out yet.’

“That’s only because you’ve coddled him. He’s barely ever even been shot at. Just the one time on vacation in Majipoor and he wasn’t even the target, the assassin was aiming for me. If you would just let me take him on a proper outing to gain some real experience - “

“Not gonna happen.” Logan shuts that down real quick.

“Really Father, just look at him. He has zero situational awareness. I’ve been glaring a hole in the back of his head for a full minute now and he has no idea. That could just as easily be an actual laser scope, you know. He’s a disgrace to the whole family.”

“Daken, we’ve been over this,” Logan says firmly. “You have your sisters to bond with over gratuitous violence. Leave your brother alone. I don’t want anyone traumatizing him until trauma finds him all on its own. It’ll happen sooner or later, he’s as much a part of this family as anyone and that means its as good as done already, so there’s no need to hurry it along. If later on he decides he’s got a taste for it, you can take him on all the outings to get shot at that you want. But he’s gotta figure it out for himself first, and he doesn’t need his big brother being the one who introduces him to all that. He idolizes you, you know.”

Daken scoffs. He can’t even get the brat to chew with his mouth closed.

“He cut his hair from that style he liked so much, just because you hated it so much,” Logan says obliviously. Daken nods like he’s conceding the argument and hastens from the room while he can still keep his mouth shut. It won’t benefit anyone at this point to tell their father that Jimmy really only cut his hair because Daken told him he would set it on fire if he didn’t. 

Ugh, families are the worst. Don’t even get him started on Laura stealing some of his clothes to wear without asking. And then has the gall to yell back at him when he yells “Silk! Its the finest cut of silk! Does that mean nothing to you?” at her.

“Oh get over it. Its not like I asked for killer robots to interrupt my date.”

“Of course they were going to interrupt your date with that Julian boy. I keep telling you, he’s a magnet for trouble. I can tell. I’m one too, remember?”

“Fine, whatever, you’re right and I should just expect every date with Julian from now until the end of time to end with fire and disaster.”

“Well now you’re being melodramatic. There’s no way that boy makes it past twenty five. He doesn’t even have a healing factor.”

“Why do you hate him so much anyway? If you’d just give him a chance - “

“What are you talking about? I give him a chance every single time he’s here and I don’t kill him.”

“Ugh, I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this. You always do this, you just decide on something and then you commit to that like the fate of the world depends on you standing firm on what’s usually a completely arbitrary decision in the first place!”

Daken sniffs. “I can assure you, there’s absolutely nothing arbitrary about my disdain for the Keller boy.”

“His name is Julian,” Laura enunciates with a glare.

“I don’t care,” Daken enunciates with an expression of lofty superiority.

“You two are so dumb,” Gabby says from the end of the hallway. They both turn identical glares on her. They’d noticed her arrive several minutes ago but they weren’t about to be distracted from their battle of wills. “Laura, you know Daken isn’t actually going to kill Julian. He doesn’t do that anymore except for really bad people sometimes and he just talks about stabbing people or killing them cuz he thinks he’s funny and then he gets all pissy because nobody ever gets that he doesn’t really mean it. He doesn’t even hate Julian and he used to be fine with him before he started dating you, its just he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.”

Daken frowns at the petite would-be peacemaker. Meddlesome toddler. “What are you even babbling about? None of that is remotely true.”

Gabby rolls her eyes up at her brother from her much lower height. She taps the side of her nose with emphasis. “You do know we all have the same abilities to smell and analyze scents as you do, right? And you know everything you can tell from peoples’ scent, right? Of course I’m right, I can smell it as clear as anything and so can Jimmy and Dad and we actually all know this and talk about it all the time, and its why Dad never actually gets mad at you for talking about killing people because he can smell you’re saying it just cuz you’re used to saying it but really you’re too marshmallowy on the inside now to do half the stuff you claim you’re gonna do. Hate to break it to you bro, but you’re a closet softie and you’ve been made. The nose doesn’t lie. Only reason Laura doesn’t know it is because you piss her off like its your favorite hobby and its probably impossible for her to smell anything beyond her own scent of Royally Pissed Off.”

Ugh. Meddlesome insightful toddler. Who asked for her intervention anyway? Daken crosses his arms in a way that’s decidedly aloof and not at all sulking.

Laura’s staring at their sister assessingly. “That’s really what you think is going on? And Jimmy and Dad think so too? You’re not just saying all that?”

Gabby bats her eyes up at them. “Would I lie to you?”

“Yes,” Laura says without missing a beat.

“Without a shadow of a doubt,” Daken says dryly, right on her heels.

“For the sake of a candy bar,” Laura adds, because that really did happen.

“Or just boredom, because god forbid you pick up another hobby that isn’t just Chaos.”

“This from the guy who only has fun when there’s blood and bullets flying about,” Gabby fires back from a position of petite petulance.

Daken smirks down at her. “Didn’t you just say I don’t really mean it when I say all of that?”

Gabby narrows her eyes. “Touché. My own words thrown back at me. I am undone.”

“Yes, well - “

Daken’s cut off as Jimmy chooses that moment to walk past them down the hallway to the bathroom. He’s laughing and shaking his head.

“You guys are both so dumb. She plays you like this all the time, and you never see it.”

“Silence, mortal!” Gabby thunders at their brother menacingly. The effect is somewhat diminished by the fact that she can’t hit a baritone note to save her life.

“No, I’m interested in hearing what he has to say,” Daken says coolly. “For once. This is a moment without precedent and one unlikely to occur again, so let’s explore it a bit.”

Jimmy sighs and shakes his head without ever losing that amused smirk. “Had to tack on that last part, didn’t you. Just couldn’t help yourself.”

“I am a faithful student of the Truth,” Daken says, matching his brother smirk for smirk.

“The point, Jimmy?” Laura prods aggressively before that can erupt into a wholly separate thing she wants no part of.

“Oh, right.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Its kinda her thing with you two when you get like this. You pick a fight with Laura, Laura gets pissed off and succumbs to the family curse of Tunnel Vision at the Worst Possible Time, and you both go back and forth endlessly and like you have all the time in the world for your stupid tete a tete, because on account of you both being practically unkillable and immortal, you kinda do and you know it. And then whenever she gets bored of listening to you two, Gabby swoops in and draws both of your attention until you’re both so focused on being annoyed with her you don’t even realize you’re actually side by side agreeing with each other, and she keeps it up just long enough til she’s sure she can just say she’s bored now and just leave the room, leaving you both annoyed and frustrated by a fight you can’t even claim to have won because she really just kinda...left, in the middle of it, and you’re so focused on that, you’ve totally forgotten to be pissed at each other. And by the time you do remember, like, the moment has passed and peace has been returned to the kingdom. Or at least as peaceful as this place ever gets.”

Daken stares at his mistake of a brother in the hopes that if he stalled long enough, his senses would arrive at a different conclusion. But nope. Scents don’t lie, unlike baby sis, apparently. He’s telling the truth. And Daken really does not....care for that conclusion.

Gabby stamps her foot and glares up at their brother.

“You are such a tattletale. I am providing a service, by keeping this family free of these two constantly at each others throats, and how is that service repaid? With betrayal! I hate you, you’re dead to me. Never speak to me again or at least not until I’ve stopped being mad at you, but that could be like ten years or something, I don’t even know right now.”

She draws up to her full height and squares her shoulders as she thunders this Mighty Mouse style at the still laughing Jimmy. Then, seeing she’d yet to make a dent in his armor of amusement and he was failing to take her pronouncement seriously, she punctuated her declaration by spitting on their brother’s shoe. Daken’s eyebrows shoot up again, this time in amusement of his own. Gabby then spins around on her heel and stalks off down the hallway, muttering more dire threats under her breath as she goes, the sound of them nonetheless carrying clearly to three siblings with enhanced hearing of their own. And apparently, little sis could be quite creative. Who knew she’d been hiding such talent?

Jimmy barely even notices; he’s still staring down at his shoe.

“Dude, you spit on me! That’s so not cool.”

“Some things need to be expressed so strongly, mere words will not suffice,” Daken says loftily, savoring a slightly renewed sense of superiority.

One quickly dashed, of course, because apparently he just can’t have anything.

“Bold words from the seventy year old who needed the sixteen year old to clue him in he’s being regularly manipulated by the twelve year old,” Jimmy fires back. As a return volley, its obnoxiously effective, and Daken’s still grinding his teeth and searching for an adequate rejoinder as Jimmy just grins even wider and then strolls off down the hallway as well. Whistling either an absolutely hideous song or else proof that he’s absolutely hideous at whistling. Tough call. With him it could be either.

Daken and Laura both stare after him in silence as he rounds the corner and disappears, leaving only the lingering scent of smugness in his wake. Daken hates the scent of smugness. It has a particularly....cloying feel to it. Well not his of course. But everyone else’s, especially little brothers? Acrid is the only word adequate for that.

“Sometimes I really do want to stab him. Just a little bit. And I’m not even lying,” Daken says. Laura just nods, her own nose scrunched up in distaste as well.

“Honestly? Me too.”

Brother and sister enjoy the rare moment of solidarity.

“You know what’s really bugging me?” Laura says suddenly, still staring off down the hallway. Daken turns an inquiring eye on her, prompting elucidation. She frowns.

“Where the hell did he learn a phrase like tete a tete? I mean. Its Jimmy.”

Daken does know what she means, and frowns as the nagging awareness of that leaps from his sister to himself like memetic chain lightning.

“And he used it correctly. That’s....unexpected.”

“Sometimes I wonder if maybe he’s not as completely airheaded as he pretends, and the fact that he’s got everyone so convinced of that actually means he’s running circles around the rest of us,” Laura says. She shrugs. “Of course, then I have to question everything and who has that kind of time and also the very idea of genius mastermind Jimmy disturbs me on a deeply visceral level. So then I just. Stop doing that.”

Daken nods and sighs. “Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”

“Okay, this is annoying. I kinda still want to fight, but now fighting with you feels kinda anticlimactic. Ugh, siblings are the worst,” Laura declares with a glower. “They ruin everything.”

“On that, we can agree. With allowances for temporary occasions of some of them being bearable,” Daken says. “Some.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve never said to me, big brother,” Laura says lightly. Daken swiftly scowls but she holds up a hand to forestall any rebuttal. “Sorry, don’t mean to ruin the moment. I’m thinking about how else we can put all that frustrated energy to good use. Wanna go pick a fight with the Summers’ kids?”

A slow smile spreads across Daken’s face. “Well now. Finally, a family outing I can get behind. I believe that’s precisely what we need right now. Care to lead the way?”

He still hates her boyfriend, of course, but he supposes he can let that be. 

For now, at least.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 130 Review

For the first time, thanks to this chapter, SNK is more popular than Domestic Na Kanojo, a manga about a love triangle between a dude and his step-sisters, one of whom is his teacher.

We did it fam. Mission accomplished.

I feel like the scenario where the outside world and Paradis are kept apart with Paradis threatening to rumble the world if there’s any interference is something of an equilibrium point.

They say that nature has a balance to it. A natural rhythm that it follows on its own.

Predators hunt prey, so naturally there are less predators than prey, lest the prey population be wiped out. When predators are too many and prey is too few, the lack of food causes predators to leave the area or die off, which prompts the prey population to rebound.

So there’s a certain point at which things balance out. This is an equilibrium.

Social situations are like that too.  

People have desires and preferences, and in a social situation, a dynamic will form that satisfies as much of those desires as possible.

Because the equilibrium point is the state of affairs at which as many people as possible are satisfied, in the long term any disruption to that equilibrium will be corrected.

Not because of magic or anything, but just because it’s the scenario that most people prefer, so the state of affairs will trend towards it over time.

This is a really long way of saying that I think that some variation on the King Fritz scenario is the best outcome everyone can hope for.

Everyone gets to live and go about their lives.

The downside is that there’ll always be an undercurrent of resentment. And, oh yeah, becoming titans and eating children is necessary to make the wall titans work as a threat. That’s bad, but a natural balance isn’t a utopia.

It’s a testament to how much the SNK world sucks that *this* is the outcome that allows the most people to be happy.

Rape, parents eating children, all of it indefinitely.

That’s one of the most frustrating things about this chapter.

Just…what even is the message of this story anymore?

Attack on Titan is a series about freedom and striving for freedom. Eren has embodied that struggle the whole time.

But now?

Eren is a lunatic who’s about to crush the whole world.

The Cringevengers are fighting for freedom, but not their own. Stopping Eren will only open a pathway for the world to retaliate against Paradis for the failed rumbling. Their mission is one of self-destruction.

That’s noble, but it’s looking more and more like the cringevengers are going to lose. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and they don’t really have much personal stake in this anymore.

So I guess we’re heading for an ending where Eren destroys the world.

If that’s the case, then…what’s the message?

Is this a tragedy?

Tragedies are about characters failing to rise above their flaws, but they’re also supposed to be constructive.

Tragedies work when they show the audience that a happy ending could have happened but for the character’s flaws.

Romeo and Juliet could have lived if it weren’t for their feuding families, for example. The story ended sadly, but there was a clear path to a happy ending.

What is the path forward in Attack on Titan?

The Marleyans are shit. They’re racist colonialists out to dominate the world. They coral Eldians into camps, use them as weapons, and want to build a global empire. Their long term motivation is to preserve their global dominance.

Eren is a lunatic. ‘Nuff said.

The Cringevengers have the moral high ground, but…if they win, the Eldians still die. So…go Cringevengers?

Who is the hero of this story right now?

Which path is the right one?

What is even the message anymore?

The answer is that there is none.

The situation is clearly designed to make this outcome inevitable.

The world is going down this bad path because almost everyone has the same flaw: they are willing to kill people for the sake of their own prejudices.

If only a couple of characters had that flaw, this would be fine, but making this flaw so widespread makes it seem that humans in general are like this, and that’s wrong.

Most people are not like this.

I think the fact that humanity has not self-immolated yet speaks for itself.

I don’t know what’s going on in Isayama’s mind, but I wonder if maybe he’s a bit paranoid about tensions between Japan, and China, and the Koreas.

The possible social commentary in SNK is always interesting to think about, but I’m just going to skip over that here.

…

Ugh, I guess I have to talk about the pregnancy now.

So first off, my starting point when thinking about the pregnancy is that whatever happened, it didn’t involve rape.

That’s maybe something we shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Isayama will cross that line. Having Historia go through that trauma for basically no reason is viscerally disgusting and I trust that Isayama knows that.

Attack on Titan is ostensibly about freedom; being forced to carry a child to term is not that.

Clearly.

So I take it as a given that there was no rape.

Once you do that, thinking about the pregnancy becomes much simpler.

There are really only two possible explanations:

1. That Historia fell in love with a man, decided to have a family…and that Isayama is playing up the possibility of rape for shock value.

Or.

2. The pregnancy is somehow fake.

So which is more believable?

Honestly, I lean towards (1), though I’d prefer it be fake.

Before this chapter came out, I never felt it was likely the pregnancy was fake. There was an aura of suspicion around it, but that doesn’t prove much.

We know the pregnancy was inexplicably advantageous to Zeke, and we know that Eren and Historia were up to something right before Eren disappeared.

Isayama is clearly hiding something, but a fake pregnancy specifically?

I see no reason why it would be that and not, say, a secret romance.

That’s what really scares me though.

Most people can explain why callous depictions of rape are bad. The number of people who can explain why callous depictions of queer people are bad is much smaller.

I ship yumikuri. In fact, it’s one of the few pairs I ship.

So call me biased if you want, but the bottom line is that Ymir explicitly loved Historia, and most people would at least say Historia might have reciprocated. I personally would say she definitely did.

Ymir loved Historia.

She loved her enough to reach out to her and try to save her from her own fate.

Enough to jump from the tower and fight off the titans.

Enough to make Bertolt and Reiner turn back to get her.

Ymir did all this because she loved Historia.

But Isayama, it seems, wrote it into his story that Ymir loved Historia just to move the plot forward.

And once Ymir’s purpose as a character was fulfilled, she was removed from the story and killed off screen.

That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Establishing a queer romance just so the characters have motivation to go from Point A to B and nothing more is fucking low.

It’s cheap as hell.

It’s offensive.

But, I have to point out, not as offensive as a rape victim carrying their child to term.

I think that’s important to keep in mind.

People have written about women’s rights for centuries. Those principles are well established, if not always followed.

Gay rights just aren’t.

Most people can tell you why reducing rape to cheap drama is bad; most people cannot tell you why reducing lesbian romance to a plot device is bad.

(The answer is that they both trivialize their subjects, albeit in slightly different ways.)

I bring this up because I think people underestimate the chances that in-universe Historia is pregnant because she wants to be pregnant.

We can infer from what we know that Historia is pregnant because it’s part of a plan to help Zeke or Paradis, but we can also infer that this is not exactly the case.

It’s not directly established that Historia is pregnant because of Paradis’ or Zeke’s machinations. All we know is that these people were plotting to use her to make babies. We haven’t seen the point where she was roped into those schemes.

So I don’t think it can be discounted that Isayama plans to pair Historia up with a guy, most likely either Eren or Farm boy. Unfortunately.

Gay people don’t have many allies in this world. Unfortunately, that means Isayama is likely to *not* be one of those allies.

SNK’s record of depicting gay relationships speaks for itself.

That was all what I thought before this chapter came out.

I still think that.

So.

Now I guess I have to talk about Historia in this chapter now.

So Historia’s scene opens with her having resigned herself to a future of rape and Eren telling her she’s a human being who has rights.

…

……

I almost can’t bring myself to talk about this.

You know, back when Attack on Titan first become popular, it got a lot of praise for how feminist it was.

It was a post-apocalyptic survival horror show, and it really stood out how many prominent women there were.

Hange, Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Historia, Rico. These people saw real action and had real characters, and a lot of people appreciated that.

Yep.

Good times. Good times.

How did we get here?

What happened?

Historia’s character is all about agency.

She wanted to end her life because she thought she was a burden. In the cavern she was prepared to take on the same burden she’s taking on right now, but she chose to live for herself.

She saved herself from that fate.

She rejected her family’s burden and chose to forge her own path.

Now it’s like that never happened.

She’s back to killing herself for everyone else’s sake, except now she’s also a damsel who needs Eren to save her.

So Eren reveals his plan to her, and she’s totally distraught over it. She tries to reason with him, and Eren just glares at her like she’s Reiner or something.

Finally we get to the most eyebrow raising moment in this exchange: when Historia invokes Ymir to justify opposing Eren.

I think Ymir is supposed to be seen as a tragic figure in Attack on Titan.

She didn’t have to take the fall for those Eldian cultists. They plucked her out of nowhere and randomly decided to worship her. She didn’t ask for any of this trouble.

But regardless, she took the fall for them.

When she got a new lease on life, she chose to live for herself. She’d put herself before everyone else for a change. She’d let no one else’s fate decide her’s.

But it never turned out that way.

I think Ymir’s tragic flaw is that she cares too much for her own good.

She was always going out of her way for others and doing more than she needed to. Helping Connie, helping Historia, helping Reiner and Bertolt.

Her enemies.

Ymir is a good person at heart, and that’s not bad, but according to Attack on Titan’s morality, being “good” to the point of self-sacrifice is bad.

I think one of the morals of Attack on Titan is that if you sacrifice yourself for other people’s sake……you end up sacrificing yourself.

Ymir could have left Reiner and Bertolt to their fates and returned to the walls. She could have lived a happy life with her friends and the girl she loved.

But she didn’t.

She knew that returning to Marley would mean death for her, and guessed what happened?

She did the thing that would likely kill her and she was killed.

Ymir couldn’t help but be a “good girl” and for that she was punished.

Thus endeth the tragedy of Ymir.

Now we come to Historia.

“If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you, I can’t live with my head held high!”

Historia is using Ymir’s words, but she’s actually betraying Ymir right now.

Ymir meant those words in the sense of living for yourself and not others. In the sense of not being self-sacrificial.

As far as Historia is concerned, in her current situation, she only has two options.

Let them rape her for the sake of her people, or let Eren destroy the world.

That’s it.

As far as Historia is concerned, to oppose Eren is to tacitly support the rape option.

So Historia is using Ymir’s words, but really it’s an insult because she’s using them to defend what Ymir would have hated.

Her self-sacrifice.

One thing that’s interesting about Attack on Titan is what it says about standing up for yourself.

In the story, not being self-sacrificial ironically requires you to make sacrifices.

If Ymir had not helped Reiner and Bertolt, they would have been in a lot more trouble with Marley. In a way, if she had not gone with them, she would have been sacrificing them, in the sense that she would have been throwing them under the bus.

When Historia chooses to live for herself in the cavern, she screams about how she’ll happily throw humanity under the bus if it means saving herself.

That’s why she calls herself “the worst girl in history.”

As opposed to Krista, who is a “good girl.”

I think that’s what Isayama is going for here.

Krista is the “good girl” who’ll gladly take a bullet for you.

Historia is the “bad girl” who’ll gladly throw you overboard if it meant she didn’t have to debase herself.

Yeah, Historia later claimed she was in the moment when she said that, but that doesn’t mean much.

When you’re in the heat of the moment, and you’re acting on pure instinct, you’re likelier to reveal parts of yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.

Being in the moment doesn’t mean Historia doesn’t identify with what she said, it means she was speaking her mind with no filter.

In 130, Historia and Eren are superficially at odds with each other, but deep down Historia thinks Eren is right.

She doesn’t want to sacrifice herself, and I’m sure she feels she shouldn’t have to, just on principle.

The only reason she accepts this fate is because she feels she has to.

So when Eren asks Historia to not oppose him, and she refuses, he tells her she has it in her to do it because she’s “the worst girl in history.”

I think Historia is the kind of person who’d throw you under the bus if she knew it’d save what she values most: her friends, yes, but also herself.

But Historia is acting more like Krista, someone who’d throw their life away to save yours.

Eren is saying she needs to start acting like herself again.

He’s trying to remind Historia of who she is and what she used to think was most important to her.

(This scene is *so* misogynistic. I’m going to puke.)

The flashbacks in this chapter were presented as vignettes, so it’s hard to say how Eren’s scene with Historia ended.

One thing that stood out to me though was the clear through line that connected all the various scenes.

The first one is Eren talking to Yelena about Zeke’s plan.

Next scene is Eren and Floch talking about the real plan.

Then it’s Eren and Historia talking about the plan.

Then back to Eren and Floch for Eren’s reveal of what he’s really doing.

Back to Historia as Eren tries to win her over.

Then we cut to Zeke and Eren talking about Mikasa.

Finally, we go back to Historia.

This flow is important because we don’t know much about Eren’s talk with Historia, but I think we can tease out some clues based on what scenes we see when.

Historia is put on the spot. Eren has revealed his plan, and she opposes it. They argue back and forth, and we reach a point where Historia is at a loss for words, and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Then we inexplicably cut to a conversation between Zeke and Eren.

A conversation about loyalty, affection, and standing by your friends.

The implications for what this hints at are huge.

Eren asks Zeke if Mikasa cares about him so much because of some Ackermann genetics.

Zeke replies there’s no proof of that, and Mikasa probably just loves him.

Finally, Historia speaks, and she asks Eren about getting pregnant.

She doesn’t go to such great lengths for Eren because she’s a slave!

She doesn’t subject herself to this because she’s being coerced!!

It’s because she  L O V E S  him ! ! !

Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck everything!

[kittymaverick]

That Time of the Year Again (tm): Get ready for MCF 21: the Harbinger commentary!

It’s that time of the year yet again! Mystery Case Files 21: The Harbinger commentary. If anyone has been waiting for the hilarity that is my commentaries, I’m sorry I’m late this year. I actually started working as a freelance writer, and projects are coming in hot. Plus a recent family matter (not COVID-related. I’m thankfully in one of the safest places from it.) meant I had to put this on a back-burner. And then I guess I left it there for too long and triggered the smoke alarm, and people entered my inbox going “Are you okay???” So without further ado, let’s get this started. *cracks fingers* I have DUAL MONITORS NOW which means I can see my commentary AND watch the playthrough at the same time. (Yet, I still DON’T have a credit card. This is the new running joke.) I’m going to be watching YouGib’s playthough. Pazu also has his playthrough up. Spoilers below the cut as usual!

First, Grandma? A new studio? (A quick google shows they have done quite a bit of HOP titles and series.) Welcome to the MCF family! I hope you’re ready for the roasting that’s ahead. 8D MD: You mean the roasting they’ll let me do, right? I don’t know if they would be so nice as to grant you such catharsis right away. MD: Damn… It’s Grandma though. There’ll at least be cookies, right?

I like how “The” is in a place where you can almost read it as “The Mystery Case Files”, which MCF honestly deserves at this point. 21 years! That’s old enough to drink in the US!

(MD: Hm, old fashion building and clothes? Are we having some anachronistic adventure again--) CAT. Black cat. This is Isis. (MD: Not all black cats are Isis…) Yes they are. They are to me--

*Crystal ball* SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Captions: (Otherworldly scream) Why yes, yes game, thank you for describing my exact reaction to seeing that darn crystal ball. I love this self-awareness and I hope it stays.

Oh nooooo, green beam of light… (Green was the color of souls used in old Ravenhearst games, and also the type of light that the Archivist from Moths to a Flame evaporated into, iirc.)

MD: Hm, a harbinger usually means something worse is coming up. So who’s harbinger to whom I wonder? Well you could say Emma, Madame Fate, or Victor was the harbinger to Charles, and then Charles himself was a harbinger to Alistair, who apparently was harbinger to the twins, who were also harbinger to Alistair again-- MD: Yes, I know, thank you, please stop. --and then he was harbinger to a Lord Ravenhearst who we never saw again, and then we picked it up again somehow to Phineas Crown though that was much earlier and the pirate was a harbinger of himself in a sense. In fact, I guess in a metasense, you could say each MCF game is a harbinger of the next-- MD: You haven’t even gotten past the opening so PLEASE STOP.

Hm, game difficulty settings-- no Master Detective level. Ten marks off. :( MD: Okay that’s unfair. Also Hardcore is one word. MD: Hey, I’m the pyromaniac, okay? Chill! (Me at recording: pick helpful messages, pick it! PICK IT!)

OH, a CHOICE?! Oh, wait, it’s just the main game and extra content.

THEY GAVE YOU YOUR BUGGY BACK. THEY GAVE IT BAAAAACK. AAAAAHHH. MD: Interior’s a little different, but yes, I HAVE MY CAR BACK AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW. MWAHAHAHA-- Queen: Something strange is happening in Darkmoor. MD: *Does a 180 and goes back home* [The end.] Just kidding. :P I love how all the names of the places we’re going to immediately screams DANGER. MD: If I turned back every time I heard a name like that, I would be a very different person today. Probably saner, less salty, and generally happier.

It took me a while to see clearly, but the bobblehead looks like default MD (the costume seems to be inspired by the Fate Carnival collectibles)! We can now safely assume that MD is either really afraid of the cold, or very, very desperately trying to hide their identity. MD: Don’t tell anyone… but the getup is like a security blanket. ...One that you wear?! MD: Shhhhhh not so loud…….

Queen: Several keywords related to your previous cases-- What keywords? What are they? MD: Ravenhearst? Souls? Pirates? Skulls? Crystal Ball? Madame Fate? Dire Grove? Death herself? Queen: I’m not revealing this mystery… it’ll give the whole plot away! ...Okay, I’m putting ten on Victor, twenty on Charlotte, thirty on Alistar, and a hundred on Charles-- MD: You CHEATER you were spoiled while GOOGLING. --actually, I should do a bingo board instead. Yeah, I’m gonna do that. (And then she spends ten minutes wasting time on that, before giving up. We are at… 2 minutes in of the playthrough. This is normal.)

Queen: We’ve detected a possible energy anomaly-- MD: I’m sorry, we have DONE WHAT?! You guys have technology for that??? MD: Where was this technology for like…. The past ten cases? I really could have used some of that before heading in! (Somewhere in the world, the Mystery Tracker detective hides his gadgets…) (Post video edit: Speaking off, he seems to have gone UFO now.)

*Radio fizzes out* MD: That’s not good. Um… UP AHEAD. MD: THAT’S REALLY NOT GOOD. DETECTIVE TAKE THE WHEEL!!!! MD: THIS BUGGY IS STILL ON MORTGAGE NO. (And the MD, the bobblehead, literally lost their head, lol.)

Gibs is definitely feeling the stylistic difference. I personally don’t think it detracts from the game right now, and if anything, it can open new avenues for MCF to explore. Also, awwww it’s not our old buggy, but hey, I like the red!

MD: Okay… agency device. Better use this to scan for creepy crawly energies. I’m so sad it’s not something you can get attached to… MD: I’m pretty damn attached to my new car, thank you very much. Well, the windshield is already broken, so I think it’s been marked as “readily expendable” emotionally. :P (Machine sort of reminds me of the old machine from Huntsville, actually… which did appear again in… Rewind?)

Wow, that royal decree is like… a permission slip from mom. XD MD: Enough to get people’s attention, but not enough for them to treat me seriously. You would think with lives at stake, they would send something more official? MD: If they did, I might just be out of a job, because half of my job seems to involve waiting for people to get in trouble. Also, marking this officer Davis down as “guy who might get into trouble later and need rescuing”.

...Okay, you know what the device could have been? A portable TV head. MD: I will PUNT that metal box so hard if they handed me one! Missed moment of creepy, honestly.

“The agency never ceases to amaze me”??? MD: I meant that in both the “wow, I can’t believe this is what you used our money on!” and the “wow, I can’t believe this is where you used our money instead of that other really important thing we could have had” sense. Never cease to amaze you in how disappointed you are at them, then. MD: After our last security breach, yes.

Solved Case Files, omg. And you carry it on your car.XD MD: The therapist said I needed to “express my outrage” more healthily than arson. And you made the WORLD NEWS???? Whatever happened to being the most secretive person in the world?! MD: Shhhhh let them keep guessing… (Also, Bobblehead isn’t our MD, it seems. A case of mistaken identity. Awww….)

Guy in purple: I didn’t do anything wrong! Hm, this guy is sus… also, we’re in the UK, confirmed? MD: ...As if the name didn't’ give it already. Also, SIR, SIR, YOU DROPPED YOUR purse……. Well I guess it’s my purse now.

Tarot cards as collectibles! More Madame Fate coming up?

Wow, that police station entrance was a time machine. We’re back in modern-day old town England! MD: ….pattern on floor, sus… Aaaaand power outage. Cue bars. Policeman trapped. Oops. MD: Number of people that needed rescuing is now one, and is exactly as I predicted.

Police: Um, can you come closer? I dunno man, you behind bars, pretty sus. Maybe you’re not a real police. Police: Oh please. We talking real? How about your prove you’re the real Master Detective-- MD: *Hands Queen’s note* Police: Right that’ll work. (We didn’t get to flash our badge?!)

Wait, you’re in a ROYAL AGENCY??? Did you.... change agencies or something??? MD: After the last game, can you really blame me if a headhunter came asking? Me: No but… you work for the CROWN???? MD: Hey, if me collecting stories for Grandma Queen wasn’t obvious enough, I don’t know what else to say.

Wow, an ACTUAL FLASH DRIVE. We’re actually in modern day society. XD Albeit one with really industrial looking computers. (Now I need to go and check if the old games used floppy disks…)

Witness 1: It’s not like she has a crystal ball! Suspect purple: Yeah, I’m a fair owner. Girl Aisling is a fortune reader. ...Madame Fate, Madame FATE, MADAME FATE. MD: Okay, maybe that cat WAS Isis after all. Guy: She likes watching ravens. MD and I, simultaneously: FUCK.

I have to say, the puzzles are quite refreshingly different from ones that have appeared in the past. Me likey.

Gibs sees victim photo on autopsy table: What a handsome devil he is! Me: *Dies laughing and fails to make comments for a while*

Oh wow, you can write coherently again! Actual journals! Clear sketches! (Actual cutscene replay???? TWENTY POINTS.) MD: Therapy can be a wonderful thing sometimes. ...Please tell me you’re talking actual therapy and not “I got to explode a ship and the pirates on it” therapy. MD: Well, that counts as therapy still, right?

Okay Madame Fate, if you have a daughter, or this is your granddaughter, please just descend from heaven and let us know right now. (...wait, didn’t Madame Fate have a son? The really big eater guy? Franco!) That said, it says the veil of time, which might be an allusion to the Dark Veil too.

Omg a FAX MACHINE.

Davis: Right, good luck heading into town to the victim’s home! MD: Yep! Thanks for being a rare competent soul in this universe! Really appreciate the help-- [Rose street.] MD: ...Is it too late to turn back? Yes, yes it is entirely too late. 8D Let’s gooooooooo! MD: *sighs*.

SHADOW IN JAMES’ HOUSE! SHADOW! MD: Probably Nigel. He was sneaking around already.

MENTION Of CAT. CAT. MD: ...are you broken? ...Yes. (It’s nearing 1 am. So Kitty commentary might be retroactive below.)

Huh, HOP has sections that unlock objects like in Dark Parables. Neat!

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Small town drama as usual. MD: The predictable disappointment of human nature. Why can’t I just have cases that deal with that? No supernatural stuff, just little town murder mysteries. Little Town Mystery Case Files, coming to a store near you soon! (I’ll be honest, Grandma, I would play that once, just to have MD be completely paranoid over nothing actually supernatural.)

Santa Claus Beard Guy: I hope I didn’t scare you. MD: I’ve had undead grip me through the window. A little shadow doesn’t spook me. A family whose last name begins with a D though rattles them. MD: Please don’t give away my weaknesses so quickly...

Santa Guy: So the cat kicked my ass. Can you get me some medicine? MD: Sure thing. BTW, where is this cat, and how can I recruit it to kick the asses of my enemies?

Eeeeehhhh complex door puzzles are back! Except they are now complex cupboard puzzles.

WOOOOOOOOOW that’s a LYNX if I ever saw one! MD: Hey, remember how I say I’m not good with animals? Too bad, grab the pet carrier, you’ll need it. MD: ...please don’t scratch me. Cat: *Roars* MD: *flips shit, runs and hides*

James has visited the Museum of Mysteries… And what’s with the MCF crest in his diary??? MD: Wait… Allison? ALLISON THE REPORTER??? Omg, James is her BROTHER. THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST TIME EVEN OMG. MD: ……….. I’m NOT going to be the deliverer of this bad news. Hey MD, does that curse that surrounds people associated with you extend to their families? MD: Thank you for going where my brain didn’t want to, now kindly proceed no further. Just morbidly wondering…...

MD: They… they visited all the places that my cases took place. EVEN A HOUSE I REPORTED BURNED DOWN AND EXPLODED. AND THEN CAMPED OUT IN DIRE GROVE. MY GODS ALMIGHTY YOU TWO!!!! ...These siblings don’t have a lot of self-preservation sense, huh? MD: There are some things that should NOT run in the family. This is one of them. (I’ll be honest. Just… HOW can the MD process this kind of guilt??? Kudos to you, Grandma Studios. This is possibly the most evil story choice ever, and you went there. Slow, claps. Seriously. That said there is a small plothole here with James saying he was there when MD rescued Allison. I think that might be a translation/grammar error though.)

Journal: Oh btw John worked on the Ravenhearst manor restoration. MD: *grabs John* WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME AND TO THE WORLD?! John: Um….. it was work? MD: SOME PLACES ARE BETTER OFF GONE. Hey, look on the bright side. You can burn it down again as therapy! John: Oh btw, I made the elaborate locks-- MD: *Begins to strangle John* NO HOMICIDES MASTER DETECTIVE! You investigate them, not commit them! MD: TELL ME THAT AFTER I’M DONE.

MD: Okay, John. Let me be clear on one thing. You are now number one sus on my list of “The person that’s gonna betray me in the end” right now, and probably staying there. If you turn out to be one of the Dalimars or their crony in disguise, I will END YOU. Are we clear? John: ………… MD: What? John: You’re more terrifying than James’ cat--

*Another prevention of homicide later…* MD: Alright, fine. Containers, opened. Toy, fixed. “Cat”, got. Now take it and get out. John: Thanks, here is the final piece to that closet door that I totally have been keeping from you this whole time. ….Seriously???? MD: ….Like I said, top of my shitlist. *Reads the closet puzzle poem* On second thought GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE I HAVE QUESTIONS!

James is the greatest dork. He locked his special diary entries with a lock. I’m so sad we didn’t get to meet him in person. Though that said... MD: My gods, some common sense is really missing from this family’s mind. Seeds from the carnival?! A cube from probably dire grove??? How does it feel knowing you contributed indirectly to his demise? 8D MD: ...It’s like seeing someone win the Darwin award and feeling bad that you are the one handing the trophy to them.

Davis: Oh hey, a cassette? Let me go and get the camera for it. We’ll meet later! MD: Wait a second, you’re gonna end up dead if you do that! Davis: No, I’m gonna be fine! Here’s a ticket to the night market! Have fun! MD: …… ...More Darwin award nominations? MD: No. Awww….

Marge: Oh hi detective! Thank you for saving me and my daughter so many years ago! MD: …. Who are you again? *Goes to google* Oh, she’s that woman from Reverant’s Hunt…. MD: Ah, the gossip hen. My gods what’s with this town and its inhabitants… It’s like all the people connected to you which fate has yet to kill are all showing up again for a chance of going to the afterlife! 8Db MD: That would be the worst lottery ever. All in the life of being Master Detective’s friend! Forecast for percent of death: high! MD: *curls up in a corner to be depressed*

Nigel: What do you want? MD: Here are your seeds. Nigel: Okay I’m gone! MD: Right, now Aisling-- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. Crow: Caw-caw! MD: You, you’re not Crowlister, but if you are responsible, I will make you one very bald bird.

Okay, soooooo what do we do? MD: Removed what the device can. Guess we’re down to brewing this… tea... ...I think you need this tea more than her, honestly.

“I expect these MCF references now.” XD I think the 4th wall has just been shattered into oblivion.

Aisling: I see death all around you Master Detective! MD: Thank you for stating the obvious that has been made abundantly clear by the past hour and a half of plot. Davis: Hey waddap? MD: ….*breaks down sobbing* YOU’RE STILL ALIVE THANK GOODNESS! *hugs Davis* Davis: Um… what’s going… anyway, you should look at the video.

MD: Nigel! This video here suggests something. Want to talk before I make you? Nigel: This proves nothing! Now go away, I have preparations to-- Noooooooooo! *Nigel is swallowed by the earth* ……...MD? MD: NOT IT. WASN’T ME. DEFINITELY NOT ME! You saw that right, Davis? Davis: Oh no, he’s dead! Guess we’ll need to exhume him. MD: Now hold on, that reaction is just WAAAAAY TO BLAND.

(Watched a little bit ahead. I have some theories on who Aisling might be, since Gib’s thumbnail does appear to hint at it. We’ll see where it goes!)

(Aaaaand I was right!)

[Here ends entry one. Part two is going to be even more retroactive...]