#this is my first time writing something about project sekai

[toomiieimagiines]

“The scent may drive me half

insane, but maybe you’ll see me

then.”

Rui Kamishiro Hanahaki

part one part two

(coming soon!)

anything to say, tommie?♪

hi, guys! this is part one of a two-part series with our favorite punching bag, rui! this is very heavy, all of the resolution will be in the next part. i just wanted to get something out for you all! this IS in response to an ask, but i think tumblr ate it! i’m gonna look for it, so if i find it i’ll reply!

anyway, wow! it has been a terrible couple months!! i am very unwell. i’m sorry about me ghosting you guys all the time, but here we are! here’s my psycho-babble-bullshit philosophical thinking and existential dread in the format of an x reader project sekai fanfiction. i am beyond saving.

i’ll quit talking! just wanna let you know this two-parte is probably the last pjsk thing i’m gonna write in a while

mewnies warning𖦹

this is VERY gorey and has MANY mentions of d€4th/s3w1c1de/1llness. (sorry if tumblr doesn’t care about those words but i’ll censor just in case(looking back i’m realizing that i say it all the time in the fic anyway so idc…)) has in detailed descriptions of puking as well. reader is kinda stupid in this, but what’s new? meow!

It started with a cough.

It was subtle at first. Honestly, he had thought he’d pulled something in his chest at rehearsal the day prior. It wasn’t anything to write home about; a dull ache that could be easily overlooked.

“It could be worse,” he says, staring at the mirror. On a worse day, he’d scold himself for talking to himself, then lament at the fact he actually scolded himself, but today, he felt a little self-pity at the state of his body.

Christ, he needs to chill out. Why had he woken up so erratic?

The walk to school was more or less unremarkable. You two hadn’t coordinated walking together that morning, so it did get pretty lonely. He ended up narrating everything he was doing in his head to pass the time, something that was—admittedly—not out of character. It was a bad habit he’d have to break one of these days, he knows. Not today though, maybe next week when his chest isn’t so heavy. His chest does feel pretty heavy—the sky is cloudy today, isn’t it? Maybe it’ll rain. He hopes no snails come from the ground. He hates watching out for them while he walks. The air seems misty, though, huh?

That morning at school, he hadn’t felt great. He had this fullness in his lungs he just couldn’t get to go away. No matter how hard he coughed, the pressure just wouldn’t release. Now, he’d never been in the best health, so it wasn’t unusual for him to be sick, but you’d think he would’ve felt something the day before. He couldn’t recall feeling this amount of suffocating pain in his chest yesterday, save for when you were talking to that stupid upperclassman-

God, his chest really hurts!

He coughs again, this one curling his body over the desk and making him remember where he was. Will the inconvenience ever end?! He puts his head on the desk, letting a pitiful hand raise, begging for a pardon.

He locks eyes with an upperclassman in the hallway on accident, making his pulse quicken. He can’t believe the nerve of some people!

He catches himself, stopping for a moment. They were just walking—Whatever. He’s not himself today.

While his short interaction may have just been the most terrifying thing he’s ever done, coughing wildly in a public bathroom trumped it. Sure his voice may have cracked when he called the teachers name, and yes, everyone turned to look at him (thus interrupting their class time), but making a ruckus for other people to hear is where he drew the line. God, he really needs to get his act together before he officially has no chance with you, he’s so ridiculous.

Of course, he found it immature that his biggest worry at the moment was his troublesome feelings for his best friend, and not something of substance like grades or music, but that’s just who he is. (He’d never blame you for it.) Though the innate yearning that teenagers have for romance has been told of for years and years, he’ll—at times—stupidly talk himself into believing he’s the only one who has such perverse thoughts of others. It’s not like he doesn’t know it’s senseless, it’s just… whatever. In any case, it’s his own misfortune in of itself. (Which is not something he really needs right now, what with hacking up a lung and all.)

You’d probably think he looks so stupid right now, leaning over a dirty school toilet, kneeling on the dirty bathroom floor. You were the only opinion he just couldn’t shake. It seemed ironically fitting for a boy such as himself to be there; maybe getting sick was karma for being the way he is. He’d see later if he could try praying away his sin on the walk home. Ha!

Another cough wracks his body at the thought of your disgust, and a strange sense of adrenaline overtakes him; akin the feeling of fight or flight you get just before puking. He wracks his brain for the meaning of it all. Just why are you suddenly filling him with so much dread?—Well, more than usual. It’s conveniently almost enough to distract from the fact that he’s turning his body inside out.

Ah, too late.

The contents of his filthy stomach finally reach where he’s coughing from, pooling into a disgusting, viscose shape floating at the top of the water. He doesn’t have enough time to think about the sick, for he has continued to choke savagely on his own breath. He hacks for a while, for a moment he actually thinks this is where he will die. Will God truly subject him to the embarrassment of lying next to a dirty toilet full of bile? Can dead people even be embarrassed?—

What’s that?

His choking finally breaks, but he can’t feel relief for very long.

A small pink petal floats on the top of all the mess, he’s watched enough shows to know what it means. This may just be the first time in his life he hasn’t felt compelled to find out more. His brain goes fuzzy with understanding, for a moment he isn’t even there. He can’t reach a single image in his mind as he stares at the innocent symbol of youth and beauty.

He must’ve eaten something pretty crazy, huh? What a stupid boy he is, thinking that way. Ha! To think he’d fall victim to such nonsense! He should go outside more. Catching a rare, romanticized illness as a highschool boy? He isnt some girl. He doesn’t covet you so much as to die. He has a small crush—not even! A fondness!

He laughs for a while, running his hand through his hair as he stands up. He washes his hands just that much harder and only comes to when he notices the redness of them. When did that happen? He must’ve hit them on the desk, he can really be so careless! The automatic faucet no longer registers his hand as a humans and he curses it with annoyance. He feels so sorry he ever thought such a brain-dead idea. His anger is only heightened when he realizes he’ll have to walk back to class with pruny, red fingers. He really does hate that class, he must have another half hour-

The bell rings? But it’s only… 11? Ah, he must’ve been in class longer than he thought. He had only been in the bathroom for five minutes at most! Days feel shorter and shorter recently, maybe he’s been sleeping too much! He takes a sharp turn, his body subconsciously wandering to where you eat together with him. He doesn’t even heed the stares of his classmates, he’s stopped noticing actually, it’s not that big of a surprise, not like he’s been all that bothered much anymore. He doesn’t heed much of anything, now that he’s thinking—or struggling to think—about it.

He just sits with this blank stare, naturally waiting for you, as if you had to tag him out. He can’t hold an idea in his head for longer than a second, that is, until you walk by. The world stops spinning and he’s hit with a sudden overwhelming feeling of intoxication. Lucidity hits him like a thousand bricks, he can’t help from wondering if “they” are letting out hormones causing him to feel so good around you. What are “they”? Nothing. He doesn’t care to explain to any reader what’s going on. Some can be too stupid to understand.

A rise of euphoria bubbles into his throat and he can’t help but look at you with wide eyes. His good humor is back.

“Hi,” he breathes, his trance lifted.

Now, you (completely in the dark about this whole situation) didn’t exactly know why he was staring at you so intently. It made you feel the slightest bit self conscious, so you decided to inspect him further. His cheeks were blotchy, his pupils were blown, there was this strange stain on his collar—Jeez, what happened to his hands?

“Hi?” You make yourself comfortable next to him, pulling out your lunchbox. “We can go inside if it’s too wet, i just thought it might be nice—“

“No! It’s fine!” He shakes his head fervently. He does feel the need to do something, though. He doesn’t have any homework, and it’s not like he can play with his machines from school. He bounces his knee restlessly, trying desperately to start a conversation.

“So, h—“

“Are you—“

“Sorry, go ahead,” you prompt, not wanting to pass up an opportunity to hear him chat you up while in good spirits (very good, you noticed.) He’s been a little down in the dumps recently—not that you were paying extra attention to him or anything—so it was welcome.

This, however, was preposterous to him. The mere thought of taking up the sacred time he has with you with something as needless as what he had to say was sickening—sacrilege! He waves you off, his hands hasty from the rush.

“I was only gonna ask how your day was!” He blurts, the trembling of his body growing more and more apparent. He needs to hear all about it.

On a different day, he’d be a little more reluctant to be so obvious with you, but a parasite has turned him shameless. He would make an ass of himself to keep chasing this feeling, his chest feels so light he thinks he could faint. He hears the blood going to his ears, pounding into his skull with the fragility of a hammer. The monotonous world he was just in was bustling once again. He can’t help but feel giddy when you open your mouth.

You talk about nothing of particular importance. What you had for breakfast, who was in your first period, but despite the inconsequence, he’s desperately hung on every word. His head nods hastily, agreeing as if you were delivering a speech. He was sure that you’d be thrilled to have him listen so intently, but, if anything, your uneasiness only grew with each word he wasn’t speaking.

He was oblivious to your self-consciousness, as previously stated. Yes, there had to have been a small part of him that was mortified at the way he was acting, but he couldn’t find it in his whole self to mind. It would be redundant to say, once again, how desperate he was for the euphoria you brought him, so it won’t be recorded.

“Rui, are you… good?” You break him out of his mind, making him realize that he hadn’t been listening to your last few sentences. Damnit! How could he be so stupid as to ignore you? His excitement dulls for a moment, only a moment, at the feeling of worthlessness his ignorance has created. He’s terrified to go back to the anhedonia of his day—of his life?—without you. Is that how the rest of his life will be when you’re not around? Is grey what he will see until he dies?

Why would he die? He’s not suffering from anything, his chest just feels so tight recently. He probably pulled something at rehearsal the day before. Yes, that’s it. He recalls pulling something in his chest the day before. The excitement just messed with his memory, that’s all. No need to worry—

He coughs, his body curling in on itself once again, panicking. It was one thing to be alone and choking, to be disgusting in the comfort of his own company, but it’s another to hack up blood in front of you, having you watch as his body wracks itself from the strain. He waves his hands once again, desperate. He is fine... He has a small cold… Yes, he pulled something the day prior… He’s very clumsy….

He didn’t puke this time, he merely coughed up a petal. Ha! How odd it was to do such a thing!

Your horror is a given. It would be needless to say why, but it will be explained anyway (for the sake of clarity).

You had only learned about hanahaki from a recent showing of a musical he’d taken you to a few months ago. You had—admittedly—been slightly skeptical on the idea, thinking it was just another foreign concept for people to amuse themselves, but after a long debate on the topic, you had found out that it was, in fact, real (though uncommon).

It was a great shock to you that someone as agreeable as your best friend would be burdened with an illness of unrequited love. (In a moment of self reflection you would admit to yourself that he would be, in fact, very easy to love. You’d never say those words aloud, though, in fear of him getting the wrong idea.) The thought of your friend suffering from something so agonizing and potentially fatal was enough to make bile rise to your throat, but a new emotion soon followed it; anger. How dare someone not return his feelings? The nerve of this person to not want to spend their every moment with such a wonderful person is absurd! They must be an idiot, you couldn’t imagine being so dense.

He sees the color drain from your face and he’s not so out of his mind as to be ignorant to it. He can only assume you’re going to figure out his secret, who else could it be? Once again his world goes dark and hopeless, the mania he once rode on proceeding to crash and burn before he could appreciate it was even there. Everything has become dissonant, lacking harmony, or substance. He questions what an existence is where you don’t see him. It’s truly better to die than to live that way. After you mock him, he can simply just jump off the school roof. It would be tricky, but-

“Rui…” Your coddling voice rings out, filling his mouth with a sickly-sweet taste. Save him the embarrassment and pity, won’t you? You needn’t concern yourself with trivial matters, go on, now.

“Who is it?”

He freezes. He hadn’t excepted that. Could it be you were playing coy so as to not shoulder the guilt? No, that can’t be it. As unsound as he is, he knows you better than that. You would be true to yourself, he knows that’s the kind of person you are.

He’s furious with himself and you. He can’t believe he would ever think so lowly of you as to believe you’d actually talk him to suicide. What was with him? Hadn’t he had a relationship with you at all? He knows you well—too well—so it’s unthinkable he’d mischaracterize you. But on the other hand, he hardens himself on the fact you don’t know about his feelings. As appalling and depraved as it sounds, he’d never been subtle. Willfully ignorant, yes. Your subconscious must despise him so much as to block out any possible cues to your mind. How humiliating!

A thought races into his head; how is he to answer your question? He simply cannot say that he has feelings for you, he’s better off shooting himself in the foot and trying to run away. He tries to conjure up anybody he could be believably infatuated with, and much to his embarrassment only four people come to mind.

Emu? No, that would never work. She is much too… much. You’d never believe such an idiotic thing.

Tsukasa? Same problem. Claiming to have feelings for him would only stir up unwanted controversy.

Mizuki? Out of the question. You’ve had multiple conversations in which he’s told you how unromantic his love is for them. In hindsight, he should’ve covered his bases more. He’s so stupid.

Nene?

Nene!

It was a perfect crime. She knew about his feelings for you, so even if you did go to her, she’d have the brains to question him privately afterwards. They’re always accused of dating, they’re known for being close, she’s a very likable girl—God, Tsukasa couldn’t think of a better plan himself! Sometimes he could be a very calculated boy!

“Nene…” He rasps out, his head hung low to hide a sick smile. This is it. His hope is gone and he will die; die knowing that he was able to be saved if not for the circumstances. Everyone dies anyway, so why not now? why not yesterday, or the day before, or the year before? What difference is it to him, or to you for that matter!? If he were to drop to his knees and kick the bucket, would that change the course of the future? He’s, of course, not so arrogant to assume such! Such brainless sentiments aren’t reserved for him at the moment. And what is the future? The future has already happened! It’s over! Humans will be gone for good, the earth with explode, everything that will happen has happened. What use is one teenager’s life?

“Nene?” If he hears that name one more time, he may just vomit. He feels guilty to put the blame of his illness onto his bosom friend, but he’s sure she’d understand. Anyone who had any brain would do the same thing he has, so it’s not worth feeling guilty over.

You, on the other hand, are shocked once again. You had never expected it to be Nene. You anticipated someone more distant, far enough out of reach to warrant the one-sidedness. You supposed it wasn’t too far-fetched for him to be in love with Nene, they did spend their whole lives together. Yes, it wasn’t hard to believe when you really thought about it, but now you’re left frustrated at the state of things. Why didn’t Nene return his feelings? You’d thought for sure—

“Did you tell her?”

Great. His time would now be spent more productively if he dug his own grave, or made good of that promise to jump. Is he so inhumane with himself as to keep his this lie going before his death? No, he couldn’t… But what if… Whatever.

“I can’t.” Just shut up and lie in it. Prolonging this is inhumane, even for him.

“Why not?” You’re not helping. Why can’t you have the compassion to leave him be? You’re doing this to mess with him, aren’t you? Do you laugh at the fact he will surely die soon? You’re even worse than him. He can’t believe he loves you.

He loves you enough to die for it, he’d better humble himself.

Another cough.

“Rui! Hey, hey, you don’t need to tell me, it’s okay!” You rub his back, holding him so tenderly he starts to believe he died by some strange twist of fate and ended up in the afterlife. (Even in his suffering, his inner-monologue refused to use the word ‘heaven’. He had read in The Bible that suicide is a sin. He wonders what the perimeters are for an unrequited love gone involuntarily, yet very just, death.)

It pops into his mind that he’s still with you, and it sounds a little contradictory to say, but he’s annoyed. Not at you, no, never at you, but is it too much to ask to die at peace? (Well, as much peace he can have with the circumstances.) Must he be tortured with your face?

He stands up, his coughing seizing for a moment. He thanks whoever’s up there for letting him get through his sentences without choking. He looks down at you, still in your previous position.

“I don’t feel well,” he says curtly. What an idiotic statement! Obviously he doesn’t feel well, he just coughed up a flower. He talks to talk, what a brainless pastime! He should just walk away.

“I could’ve told you that,” you reply. “Do you want me to take you to—“

“I’m fine,” he rejects, walking away.

A worrying exchange…

You decide you need to help your friend. You can’t just watch him die.

That day, Rui walks home with the eloquence of a man on trial, trudging as if his fate had already been decided—it has. What can he do about it? He can’t even begin to imagine what death is. The thought that he will simply cease to exist, that he will just return from whence he came, no consciousness weighing him; it’s terrifying. People say “a fate worse than death” without thinking, but what is worse than death? Torture keeps you sane, mediocrity keeps you comfortable; death ends, that’s it. There’s nothing. Pain can stop, dullness can be invigorated, you cannot bring someone back from the dead! What a moronic fantasy to entertain! He’s going to die! He will die. Death, dying, and all words similar make him want to scream. Mortality is such a cruel idea. He tries to tell himself he shouldn’t worry about it, that it will come either way and should be accepted for a natural part of life, but he can’t stop himself. What is the point of anything if he is meant to die? He can’t control it.

It starts to rain, which is only another thing he has no say over. He grasps for any semblance of choice, of say, but all he finds is a pitiful snail making its way across the pavement.

He stops in horror, examining the sorry thing. They’re both alive, yes, that snail is living its only life, the same as him. He thinks of the amount of people who run their bikes over them without a second thought, he thinks of watching his peers pour salt to amuse themselves for a moment or two. They’ve probably forgotten taking lives. As previously stated, he takes better care to step around them when the air becomes dewy. It wouldn’t feel right to have such disregard for life, especially now.

He starts to think of all the bugs he’s slapped, all the stay cats he’s shooed away, all the rats he’s trapped, and it makes him feel sick. They are all dead now, their one life was ended. He should feel lucky he (at least) had a good run. He got to be a human being, isn’t that something? At least he lived 17 years, instead of a couple weeks. That snail will be dead in a few days if not caught, no doubt. Which is better; to live for as long as your body can, or die for the betterment of another? Isn’t that what his disease is… in a way? With or without meaning to, you hunted and killed him, stripping him of his choice. He is now the person in ethics questions who is tied to the tracks! Ha!

That snail has only moved a couple inches since he’s been watching…

He’s hit with a sudden wave of resentment.

Must be nice, huh? Being able to live so leisurely. The deplorable thing is surely not aware of its own existence. The more he thinks, the worse this resentment becomes. He’s so unlucky to be a human being, everything he’s stated before has been proven false. People are idiotic and dense. How braindead is it to become the only species capable of existential thought? Do we as a society benefit from such? He wouldn’t entertain the idea. Sure, other animals know they have the possibility to die, but they don’t actually grasp what it truly means. The more he thinks, animals cant love too, which is what caused his untimely death to begin with. Ignorance is bliss. Only the dumb are comfortable.

The tip of his fingers vibrate and go numb as his body fills with unbridled fury. How dare this thing taunt him? How dare it spark this conversation? If it could hold a thought in its head, it would no longer be moving; it would scream as he is now. How lucky is it, being able to live life without strain? It could barely be considered living, actually, he’d be surprised if it had a brain at all. What a depraved, useless, insignificant, and unenlightened waste of air.

In a fit of passion, he crushes a shell and the parasite inside. He drags its remains across the pavement.

It was going to die anyway.

[aceclipse]

a chat (very loosely based off real events ig)

[MikuHolic and Enanan made a chat] [Enanan]: Hello, Ichika. I'm just coming here to say that your posts about Hatsune Miku are pretty cool. [Enanan]: I also noticed you followed me as soon as I followed you, which is even cooler! [MikuHolic]: Thanks, Ena! I've been a fan of Miku for a very long time, so it's not surprising that I post about her so much. [MikuHolic]: I also appreciate your Hatsune Miku fanart a lot! [Enanan]: Thank you, Ichika-chan! I always like seeing people enjoy my art, even if they're not really that great. [MikuHolic]: What do you mean? Your art is great in every way! [Enanan]: Well, most people around me would like to disagree, but I still appreciate that you care. [MikuHolic]: Most people..? [MikuHolic]: Not to get personal all of a sudden, but have you been trying to prove them wrong with your art, if I heard it correctly? [Enanan]: Yes, of course! I'm still doing all I can to do that and establish a place for myself in this world, no matter how much I stumble. [MikuHolic]: I've been dealing with something similar, too. You've probably read my posts about my band's live performances, right? [MikuHolic]: It's been quite rough for me and my bandmates, but we're still trying our best to succeed [Enanan]: And you did! I remember seeing one of your live performances online and you all nailed it! [Enanan]: What I'm saying is, I don't think you and your band would've made it if you were by yourself, of course. [MikuHolic]: I'm glad you shared your support, Ena! Even if we still don't know eachother very much, I'm very happy to see you care about me and my band [Enanan]: You're welcome, Ichika-chan! But I think we got a little off-topic here. [Enanan]: I just want to say that I appreciate you liking Hatsune Miku a lot. I don't know how I really got to enjoy her, considering she's not talked about much from where I'm at. [MikuHolic]: Well, her mission is to spread music everywhere around the world no matter what, so I think she did her job well [MikuHolic]: She's also done a great job at saving me and my friends multiple times, so there's that. [Enanan]: Miku also ended up saving me a lot, too. I don't think me and my friends would have gotten this far without her! [MikuHolic]: I made through life and I resparked my courage to be with my friends again because of her, so we're on the same page with this. [MikuHolic]: Well, now that I think about it, we're a lot like each other despite us being so different. [Enanan]: Anyways, I'm going to draw something for Miku again, just for you. [Enanan]: I'm glad we found ourselves through Miku, Ichika-chan [MikuHolic]: Oh! I didn't realize it was so late already! [MikuHolic]: I'm sorry, but I have to go sleep now! I'm glad we could talk about Miku together. [Enanan]: I'm glad too. I'm just going to stay up a little more late for a project. [MikuHolic]: See you soon, Ena-san! [Enanan]: See you soon too, Ichika-chan.

pings: @attention-k-mart-shoppers @alex-just-vibing @chocolateclover @katsuclove @kur0mizaii @ratsarevalid @starry-sky-orchestra @thecasestudyofmikaela @palacholic

[ikeoji-subs]

Zettai BL Ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL Ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024 - Episode 6 Eng Sub

VS SHOOTING and VS FALLING IN LOVE

It's the season 3 finale!

For downloading instructions and where to find the raw files, please check our masterpost.

[Subs link]

We ask that you not upload our subs to streaming sites.

Sharing with friends is fine. We’re also OK with folks sharing them in other ways as long as they aren’t public. Please use discretion when talking about the fansub outside of tumblr, but don’t hesitate to get the word out in other ways, and feel free to promote it here. Please credit ikeoji-subs whenever possible—we put a lot of time and effort into this.

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This is the final episode of this season! We're both going to miss working on this project. When it comes to plans for the future, we're still figuring that part out, but rest assured that we'll keep everyone posted here if we have another project in the works. For the moment, we once again want to thank everyone who has spread the word or had a kind word for us in the tags and elsewhere.

Big big thanks to our pal @my-rose-tinted-glasses for letting us make use of her talents and helping our posts and translation notes look special.

translation notes:

about “acknowledge the way I feel” (20:27)

The first, more literal translation of this line, which Hatano says on the bridge, was, “Can you accept my feelings?” That line definitely gets something across, but I knew we’d be leaving it open to varied interpretations–some of them inaccurate–if we didn’t make it more specific. I might go a little overboard in the specificity department sometimes. I think it’s probably due to a combination of my ADHD-related quirks and having spent too much time picking apart variables as a researcher. Whatever the reason, this time I was kind of in overdrive because this line seemed pretty important. 

I asked Snow some questions about what “accept” meant in this instance. In English–and in the American cultural context I’m used to–there are lots of specific ways to talk about a situation like this one. Someone in Hatano’s position in the US would have a plethora of options for inquiring about Mob’s thoughts and emotions and/or making requests about how he might respond to their feelings. Is Hatano asking Mob to simply believe that he has these feelings about him? To let him show these feelings toward him openly, even if he only allows this passively, without offering anything in return? To receive them in a way that implies he returns them or that otherwise implies some degree of connection between them? And so on. 

I was expecting cultural differences to come up around this line, but they came up in a way I wasn’t expecting. Snow responded by telling me that there wasn’t a really specific meaning behind the Japanese wording of this line and that that was characteristic of the Japanese language around such things. I knew that I was more intense than the average American about wanting to pinpoint the meanings of things, but it would seem that the average American is more intense about it than the average Japanese person. 

That was a really interesting insight (one that I’m still thinking about), but it still left me with a conundrum when it came to this line. I could stick with “accept,” since it had a kind of vagueness to it (which was part of the reason I started trying to reword the line in the first place). But I thought “accepting” feelings sounded closer than I’d like to possibly reciprocating them, and I knew from my conversation with Snow that that shouldn’t be implied here. 

I started looking at thesaurus entries and going down different synonym paths. I wanted a word that, in its broadest sense, would be asking very little of the other person. I figured if the Japanese wording was open to being interpreted as either asking for very little or asking for more, then the English wording should be something that could at least be taken as not asking for much, because the implication that Hatano wants more than that from Mob is already clearly present. 

When I came across “acknowledge,” it fit the bill. At first, I just thought of its meaning on a smaller scale. It’s not much to ask of someone to simply acknowledge something, in most contexts. 

But after just a little bit of thought, I realized it also had a useful kind of vagueness. Acknowledgement can be as small as a barely perceptible nod, but it’s also used to talk about thanking someone, giving credit, commending or honoring someone, even giving someone a reward. In a romantic context, depending on the specific story, you could imagine “acknowledge” meaning anything from “yeah, I see you over there” all the way to someone’s devotion being rewarded in all the ways they’ve hoped for. 

Some of these uses are more of a stretch and would only work in just the right context. The default meaning of the word is clearly on the more modest side. But that works well, too. I took this request as coming from a pretty humble, unassuming place and I figured “acknowledge” was reflective of that. 

I ended up being really happy with this word choice. Hopefully, it’ll get the right idea across to folks who watch the show with our subtitles, even if they don’t read this translation note. But I hope that reading this gets it across even more effectively.–Towel

Tag list: @absolutebl @bengiyo @c1nto @come-back-serotonin @lurkingshan @my-rose-tinted-glasses @porridgefeast @sorry-bonebag @twig-tea @wen-kexing-apologist

[vanillaorchidsfictional]

”oh.. another player? very well.. please, make yourself welcome..!”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- a self aware au roleplay & ask blog featuring pure vanilla cookie made by @lxmented24! I enjoy role playing, interaction, and replying to questions, feel free to ask me anything - ships, games, books, etc, pure vanilla’ll know it all!

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

small au explanation:

pure vanilla cookie gained self awareness after returning to the vanilla kingdom (after chapter 8 beastyeast), although he was shocked at first, thinking there was no way he was fictional - he realized the good in the players (us) playing cookie run kingdom, and how much support he gets in social media!

during his time back in the vanilla kingdom, he learned to hop around the entertainment industry (games, anime, etc) without Devsisters being aware of it (has tried fixing him multiple times to no avail), he now has his own adventures, venturing to many, many games to explore!

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

GENERAL RULES

No mentions of rape, pedophilia, rule 34, nude, slurs, insults, death threats, suicide, or anything else other than that.

Please do not bully others for their questions, this is a community for helpful and respectful people.

Note that I am a MINOR. And my parents don’t allow me to communicate with anyone in Tumblr. Do not text me unless you want to roleplay with me.

Do not send asks about money or something, I am a MINOR. and I say a minor, I am NOT trusted with money in my house, so if you want to ask, PLEASE ask somebody else.

ASKING GENERALS

Pure Vanilla will be able to answer about any game I currently know of; Project Sekai, Witch’s Castle, Brawl Stars, etc. you name it. But for the games I don’t know, she will merely be confused and ask.

He is a femboy, and goes by both fem and male pronouns. Don’t forget that.

He can also talk about anime, manga, comics, movies, and even cartoons. Opinions about other characters are also allowed, however, I may not make an accurate statement. Reminder that I’m only writing of what I think they’ll say.

Feel free to roleplay with me whenever! But I’m not the type of person to start it, my apologies, lmao. I can, but it’s not that often.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

STORIES MADE:

Mr. Sunshine’s Truth

Doki Doki Literature Club x CRK Part 1 2 3

Talk between beings.

(I will update this when I need to)

[heaven-s-black-box]

Notes- Sunshine; Neuvillette & more x gn!reader

Return to File

Recovery date: October 11th, 2024

Description: hello again to my favourite writer! im thinking about headcanons with the boys with a s/o who's like emu in project sekai, and she's js a super energetic bundle of cheerful energy if u want a summary! for the boys uh maybe neuvillette, al haitham, xiao, kazuha, wanderer and heizou? if its too much u can take some out!

-⭐️ anon

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with researcher ⭐️, we thank them for their contributions. So, I had to look this character up. The first headcanon on all of them is my initial thoughts based off your request, and then everything else is based off her fandom wiki page!

Back to directory

Neuvillette

Initial thought, he’s used to Furina and her persona of Focalors so it’s not really new to him

Despite what he thinks, he’s gotten very good at human emotions

But he does write a letter to Sigewinne for how to help you, and she pulls through by suggesting he cooks for you

He wants you to rely on him like everyone can rely on you

You’re intuition on peoples sincerity is really useful

He looks at cases so critically, but you’re willing to believe the accused and sometimes you point things out that he missed

Especially now without the Oratrice, he has to be extra careful when examining everything

You’re smart, he definitely goes to you for help about humans and cases

Al Haitham

Initial thought, you must be really smart or really good at returning his snark for him to handle your energeticness on a daily basis

He’ll warn you about being too naive, just because something sounds like a great idea doesn’t mean it is

He has come to your rescue a few times, like when you went into the dessert and thought one water bottle would be enough

When he notices you bottling things up, he gifts you journal

He won’t make you talk about your feelings, in fact he prefers it this way, but he hates seeing the negativity eat away at you

No notes on your emotional intuition, though he thinks it’s a useful skill

Hey! Wiki says Emu is really smart

This is why Al Haitham can live with your energetic personality, just don’t expect him to match you

Xiao

Initial thought, baffled by how positive and energetic you are but doesn’t hate it

You have called him on multiple occasions when you’ve gotten yourself in trouble

He wishes you weren’t quite so naive, he’s saved you from hilichurls a few times because you didn’t realize they’d spot you trying to slip past

He’s really bad with feelings but, he’s there for you if you need him

To him, your negative feelings seem to eat at you the same way his karmic debt eats at him

So he tries to help

Glad you have such good emotional intuition, he’s horrible with them

No thoughts on your intellect, it doesn’t really affect anything with him

Kazuha

Initial thought, he finds it inspiring for his poems and stuff and while he doesn’t have quite as much energy as you he’s happy to meet your cheeriness

Always happy to help you with your plans and make sure they’re reasonable, you don’t usually get to the point he has to save you

Encourages you to let out your negative emotions, bottling things up isn’t good

Sometimes you write poems together, and sometimes he just listens to you

Your emotional intuition amazes him

He’s always thought he was good at reading people, but you don’t even need to see the person

Likes having intellectual conversations with you

Be it literary discussions or more stem inclined

Wanderer

Initial thought, like Al Haitham you must have something else going really strong for you because you are a beacon of attention and he actively avoids everyone

Indulges your naivety because you have to learn somehow, but he doesn’t let you get hurt

Like that time you miss judged the trek to Avidya forest

Connecting with emotions is part of his reformation, so he tries to help you

Especially if those emotions have to deal with abandonment or grief

Honestly, his response to most things being “murder” makes you laugh and he’s glad

He hates that you can see through his nonchalant act right from the get go, the words just don’t match the look in his eyes

You make writing papers easier because you raise counterarguments for him

Heizou

Initial thought, like Kazuha he finds you inspiring but on more of a personal level and has use you to distract criminals

Acts on your impulsive plans together, if you fall you fall together

Plus he can protect you in a dangerous situation

As a detective, he’s the first to notice your smile no longer reaching your eyes

So he uses interrogation techniques to get you to confess

And by that I mean he discreetly leads you into telling him what’s up, no torture required

You make interrogations so easy, he’s good at catching liars but you’re better at telling when people are hiding something

Also he’s baffled when you tell him Itto isn’t acting and really is that happy go lucky

Loves that he can match wits with you, puzzles are a fun pass-time of yours

[lovely-showtimes]

out on the balcony . . . ♡

characters - tsukasa, emu, nene, rui.

type - scenario.

contains - gn reader. reader having a nightmare while at a sleepover with wxs and is pretty freaked out by it, but no details of it are specified. reader is stated to be a big fan of jellyfish in rui's so i'm very sorry if you do not like them!

a/n - haven't been having the best of times lately, so i decided to write this. based on a daydream i've been having w/ these 4 ever since i got into project sekai pretty much. enjoy <3

You jolt awake in the middle of the night, your heart pounding in your chest. Your sweaty palms desperately grip your blanket as you try to make sense of where you are and what's real.

That... That was a dream, right? You think, exhaling deeply. I'm... I'm not in there. I'm with my friends now.

Quietly as possible, you roll onto your side to look at the other four. They're all fast asleep, snoring peacefully (some of them louder than others). Somehow, knowing that they're here beside you calms you a little.

But this living room, despite being massive, still felt way too stuffy to you. Making sure to not awaken your friends, you carefully get up and stumble away.

Emu's house was definitely way too large, and even though you've been here a couple times before, you still felt utterly lost. After blankly wandering about for a few moments, you finally manage to find a balcony overlooking the city.

The cool night air hits your face as you step out onto the balcony. It's a little chilly to be out here in only your pajamas, but you don't care about that right now.

Looking up, you can see the stars twinkling high above in the sky. There's something grounding about watching them like this, and you can forget about your nightmare for a while.

You're not sure how long you're out there, it feels like hours and minutes at the same time. Soon enough, however, you hear someone softly call your name from behind. You turn around and...

You're suddenly met with the warmth of a blanket wrapping around your shoulders, immediately causing you to feel warm and snug.

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here like this," Tsukasa lightly scolds you. "It's important that you stay healthy! I would hate for you to become sick."

You stare at him blankly for a few moments, shocked to even see him here in the first place (how does he not get lost in Emu's labyrinth of a house??), before realising you should probably say something.

"Um, thanks." You smile awkwardly, holding onto the blanket to make sure it doesn't fall off of you. "Do you just... carry a blanket around with you?"

Tsukasa chuckles lightly and shakes his head. "No, no. When you got up to leave, you accidentally nudged my arm a bit and woke me up. I thought you were just getting a glass of water or something, but you didn't come back for ages so I decided to come find you!"

Tsukasa folds his arms and frowns. "But then I found you out here, and... Listen, if you want some time alone, that's fine! I'll go back to the others! I just didn't want you to be cold, because I could see you shivering..."

You didn't realise you had been that cold in the first place. You barely noticed the cold, you'd been so wrapped up in your own thoughts.

"I'd actually quite like it if you stayed out here with me, if that's okay." You speak softly, gaze averted in embarrassment. It's such a simple request, but for some reason, you feel guilty asking for it.

"Of course that's okay!" Tsukasa declares, placing his hands on his hips with a grin. "I'd be more than happy to stay out here with you for however long you want!"

He strides over and leans on the balcony beside you. You both stand in silence for a few moments, and you wonder if you should say something. Do I tell him about the nightmare? Maybe it's best if I just keep it in...

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, only to notice him staring up at the night sky above. He has a small, content smile on his face as he gazes upwards.

He looks so much calmer than usual. You didn't know he liked stars so much.

Without thinking, you shuffle over and lean your head on his shoulder. Somehow, he feels softer and warmer than the blanket swaddling you.

"Hm?" Tsukasa turns to you in surprise, before he soon relaxes again and wraps his arm around your shoulder, bringing you in close.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as you relax against him. Being in his presence like this is making you feel so much more at ease than before. Your eyes begin to droop closed as the two of you stand together, your nightmare long forgotten.

"Oh, Emu. Hi."

The short pink-haired girl stands in the entryway, her head tilted to the left ever-so-slightly. She bounces on her feet ever-so-slightly as she rushes to you, skidding to a halt in front of the railing.

"You're awake!" She exclaims, wide eyes studying you carefully. "Aren't you super sleepy right now?"

"Not really." A yawn cuts in between your words, as if to prove you wrong. "I can't sleep."

Emu stays silent for a few moments. You feel like her bright pink eyes are going to stare right into your mind and pluck out your secrets for all to see.

"Okay. I'll wait until you're tired, then." Her forearms come up to rest on the railing, on which she rests her head.

You open your mouth to object, to tell her that it's fine and she should just go back to bed, but you realise you want her company. You turn to face the view once again.

The two of you stay silent for a while. It's not usually like this with Emu - she's always quite talkative. But right now, she's not saying a thing.

She's probably just tired, you reason with yourself. I doubt she's used to being up this late, unlike... some other people I know.

That's when she speaks up again to prove you wrong. You really feel like she's reading your mind or something.

"Do you wanna see something cool?"

You turn your head slightly. "Uh, sure. What is it?"

"Follow me!" Emu beams and takes your hand, leading you off the balcony.

You have to follow her for quite a while. You don't think you'll ever get used to this place, and you have to wonder if Emu ever feels lost in it herself.

Eventually, she starts leading you up some stairs into what appeared to be an attic. Emu hops up some precarious-looking stairs and opens a small window to the roof. She grins, beckoning you over.

"E-Emu, is this safe...?" You question, feeling apprehensive as you cautiously climb the stairs.

She nods enthusiastically. "Don't worry! I've done this plenty of times! You'll be just fine~!"

You don't have a choice except to trust her. You carefully climb the stairs and look through the window, where Emu has climbed through.

You're at a fairly high point of Emu's home, although not quite the highest. You're on a flat roof, with walls surrounding it so that neither of you would accidentally fall off.

"Oh," you murmur, climbing out and standing on the roof beside her.

Emu collapses on a couple pillows and blankets she has positioned on the roof and smiles at you invitingly. "Come sit!"

You take a seat beside her as she lays down and points at the sky. "Look! You can see the stars super well!"

Upon lying down as well, you realise she's right. The stars look even more beautiful from up here, and you love it.

"I wish I knew more stuff about stars," Emu sighs. "One of my friends loves them! I like listening to her talk, but she has such a calming voice that it makes me sleepy..."

You glance at her out of the corner of your eye. "I know a few constellations, if you'd like to learn, maybe?"

Emu's eyes sparkle in joy. "Yes, yes!! I'd love that!!"

You smile softly, before turning your attention to the sky and pointing. "Okay, see those up there? That's Ursa Minor..."

As you start to talk about the different constellations in the sky, Emu's gaze briefly wanders to you, and the content smile on your face.

They don't look so sad anymore, she thinks gleefully as she turns her attention back to the sky.

"Nene? What are you doing awake?"

The green-haired girl hesitates in the doorway, as if she's thinking carefully.

"I could ask you the same thing," she responds. "I just got up to get some water. Why are you out here?"

You feel pretty reluctant to tell her about your nightmare. It sounds embarrassing in your head to tell someone you had a nightmare, as if you were a child. You grow uncomfortable as your gaze drifts to your feet.

"...Can't sleep." Is what comes out of your mouth.

"So, you had a nightmare." Nene cuts in immediately, as if seeing right through you.

You clear your throat in embarrassment and turn away. You didn't expect her to figure it out so quickly. Was it that obvious?

Nene takes a couple steps closer. "Usually whenever I have a nightmare, I like to play some games for a while before I go back to sleep. It helps me get my mind off of it."

You glance back at her, brow furrowed slightly. "Don't you only play those violent shooter games? Wouldn't that just make it worse?"

"N-No," she splutters, cheeks tinged pink, "I-I don't just play those! I play some other things too..."

You can't resist the urge to smile at her embarrassment, which causes her to glare at you and huff.

"Do you want to play a game with me or not?" She demands.

You laugh slightly and nod. "Yes, I'd love to. Thank you, Nene."

She quickly turns around and heads back into the home. She's back soon enough, holding two handheld game consoles - yours and hers - as well as a blanket. She sits down on the ground, before tilting her head up to you.

"C'mon. Sit."

You sit beside her, pulling one end of the blanket around you as Nene takes the other half. You had just realised how cold you were, so you lean against her as you boot up the console.

"So, what do you wanna play?" You ask softly.

Silence. You thought maybe Nene was just thinking about it, but she's just not responding.

"Nene?"

She clears her throat as you prompt her. You catch a glimpse of her red face out of the corner of your eye. "Sorry. Um, I bought this game recently, and I think you told me you liked it...?"

You scan her screen quickly and sit up, beaming. "Oh, that's one of my favorite games!! I'd never thought you'd play it, because it's not really your style. Thank you, Nene!"

She hides her face in her hair as you speak so you don't see how red she's getting. Nene boots up the game as she speaks. "No... No problem, I guess."

You beam and continue resting your head on her shoulder as you open the game as well, eager to play it with your friend.

You come face-to-face with Rui, who's watching you with an odd expression. He's smiling as usual, but you can sense some concern in his gaze.

He walks over and leans on the railing beside you, before tilting his head in curiosity.

"Didn't expect you to still be awake at this hour," he comments casually. "What brings you out here?"

You look away, clutching the railing a little more tightly and bowing your head slightly. "Can't sleep."

"Are you sure? That's all?" Rui further prods, leaning his head on his arms. You feel like his piercing yellow eyes have already seen all your secrets, somehow.

You look away. "...Yeah. That's all."

You know that he knows you're lying, his soft "I see" after you speak tells you that much. You just can't bring yourself to talk about it right now.

You tilt your head down to stare at your hands. You're clinging to the railing so tightly that it's starting to hurt your hands, and you didn't even realise til now. You release your death grip, but continue resting your hands on it.

Suddenly, you hear something... mechanical? It sounds as if something is moving. You glance over to see some kind of contraption balancing on the railing. Instinctively, you put your hand around it, stopping it from falling off the railing just in case that would happen.

"R-Rui?!" You snap your head around to stare in bewilderment at the inventor. "You can't just put these guys on such precarious areas! What if it falls off and gets damaged?"

He only laughs at your fretting. "Its legs can stick to any surface it likes. Don't worry."

As if to prove this, the robot walks around the railing, hanging on underneath for a few moments before walking back up again. It beeps at you proudly.

You reluctantly remove your hands. "...Fine. What does it do, anyway?"

Rui pouts at you in the saddest way he can. "Ah, is walking around and sticking to surfaces not enough...? Don't you love him the way he is?"

The robot lets out a few small, sad beeps. Before you can respond to his antics, Rui's signature smile returns like it never left.

"Anyways, yes. It can create small projections in the air. For example..."

On queue, the circular top of the robot lights up, and a couple butterflies appear in the air, flying around without a care in the world. It was surprisingly realistic, enough that you were almost convinced that there were butterflies in front of you.

"...Woah." You breathe, watching in awe. "You made this?"

Rui nods, smiling warmly as the projections change - this time to a bird flying through the sky.

"You got its movements down so well," you murmur. You carefully reach out to brush your finger against it, but of course, it just goes right through. It is a projection, after all.

It lastly switches to a projection of jellyfish slowly floating through water, which makes you really excited. You love jellyfish, after all! They're just so pretty, and seeing them in front of you like this brings you so much joy. Even if it isn't real.

Rui chuckles at the way your eyes light up. "I had a feeling you'd like that one." He grins and leans his head on his hand as he continues watching you.

"And hey, you're not so down anymore, are you?"

You halt immediately, realising he's completely right. You'd totally forgotten about your nightmare thanks to Rui's little contraption.

"Yeah. Thanks." You offer him a small smile. "If you have them with you, could I see more of your robots?"

Rui's eyes flash with glee at being asked a question like that. "Why yes, of course! I'd be very glad to show you some more!"

He cups his hands and moves closer to you, where you can see a large variety of contraptions, way more than anyone would normally need to take anywhere.

Dumbfounded, you turn your gaze to him. "You seriously took all of these here?"

Rui shrugs, as if it's a normal occurrence for him. "I just enjoy being prepared. Now, look here. First, this one can bring small objects to you if you ask..."

[magicalmelancholy-blog1]

AO3 Author Ask Game

I did this on my own because I saw this post but I'll tag people at the end because I wanna.

Total Number of AO3 Works: Not counting orphaned stuff or alts 92

Total AO3 Word Count: Not counting orphaned stuff or alts 95,899

Fandoms I've Written For: Len'en is the big one, but I've made efforts towards being a Homestuck author before, dabbled in Touhou, and for a few months back in 2022 I even thought I would abandon Len'en for Ciconia. Lol. Also made various one-shots for other fandoms. Oh yeah, and a Vocaloid Longfic I haven't orphaned for some reason. Probably memories.

Top 5 Fics By Kudos:

Mishaps At The Summer Festival (Love Live Superstar)

100 BPM (Vocaloid, this fic's placement here is very carried by it being in this fandom)

Realization (Len'en, very surprised a fic in this fandom managed to break top 3)

Massage (Project Sekai)

Dealing With Failure (Friday Night Funkin')

As you can see, 3/5 of these fics are one-shots for larger fandoms that I wrote in like once.

Do I Respond To Comments: Yes Yes Yes comment please I'm begging you

What Has The Most Angst-Ridden Ending?: Probably Unpleasant. Tbh I don't remember exactly what I wrote in here beyond the fact I put those tags and that age rating there for a reason but. I put those tags and that age rating there for a reason. Think this fic is part of the reason some random asked me if I was okay in uwom once. Fair question but I don't know you so like, do I traumadump on a stranger? Lie?

What Has The Happiest Ending?: The Three Fairies Charity Theatre. I wrote this one to be pure fluff and I think I succeeded <3 Reimu gets to have money and feel appreciated!!! And isn't that what we all want in life?

Have I Received Hate?: Not for my fics. Part of me is disappointed but I think it's better that way. I'll probably get some someday though.

Do I write smut? If so, what kind?: If fate wills it, you will be shown the way.

Do I Write Crossovers?: No. Sometimes I'm tempted but it usually just amounts to a different lens of character analysis on discord.

Have I Ever Had A Fic Translated?: No. Feel free though~

Have I Ever Co-Written A Fic?: A few round robins here and there.

A WIP I will never finish: So many. The one with the least hope compared to my desire however is that Ciconia one where Chloe and Gunhild went on a date "for reference". I don't remember shit about Ciconia 😭

Writing Strengths: According to others, I'm very good at conveying a character's emotion. I definitely agree. I also think my sense of humor is something to be proud of. Was also told that I'm good at making the world feel alive. I feel like I tend to skimp out on additional worldbuilding, but apparently readers will just eat up whatever scraps you give them. Or is it just that I'm in the "eating up whatever scraps you're given" fandom?

Writing Weaknesses: Ugh I hate writing fight scenes so much they suuuuuuck. And I keep repeating phrases too. I think I kill them all and then they fucking come back the next time I reread it.

Do I Like Foreign Language Dialogue?: Idk I've never written it.

First Fandom I Wrote For: Gravity Falls. Everything I posted publicly is buried in a dead Facebook group.

Favorite Fic I've Written: Unpaid Debts. I know I'm actively posting it right now so there's recency bias there, but trust me when I say I put my entire ass into this. I wanted Fumikado to have a breakdown, and like sure I could've just written a one-shot where they had a breakdown. But it wouldn't have been satisfying. I need to see the process; how their mental barriers break down so utterly that they can't cope their way around it anymore. After some failed attempts I finally concocted a scenario where this could happen, and I am so happy...

I haven't actually posted the part where they break down (and I won't for a little while) but I hope you enjoy it when the time comes.

Now to tag some bitches!:

@maideninorange @hyikal @mimicteruyo and whoever else wants to

[kanaglows]

Hello sisnaoakaoiakwiqoaiaiauqiak I just saw your post today and im really excited since I havent seen much posts regarding pjsk x reader stuff. That out of the way, can I request for pjsk boys as your husband (seperated) or them as college boys? Disjisjsusisuauqhq that's all and I hope my request isn't weird or anything 🥲🥲

eeee first request, thanks for requesting me iuhjwsbdah i went with the husband thingy if that's alright with you, feel free to send another request if you still want the college boy thing, anon ☺️ also, i apologise if me and my writing feel a bit dry, i tend to feel a bit tense on the first few requests but i'll loosen up soon hjusdfj

style: bullets/hcs

notes: gender-neutral reader

Project Sekai Boys As Your Husband (Separate)

Tsukasa Tenma

He affectionately calls you nicknames like his co-star and his starlight

While he's busy during the day rehearsing for his shows, your job allows you to have more time for housework so you do chores around the house a lot. He feels guilty about not having a lot of time to do stuff so as soon as he gets home he immerses himself in chores to make up for it 😭

He frequently takes you out because he feels even worse about not spending more time with you throughout the day

On weekends, you have a special little tradition where you watch musicals together (sometimes bootlegs because musicals can cost a lot to watch online 😕)

He's totally smitten by you and often wonders how he was able to get such a great catch

Rui Kamishiro

You two are partners in crime. That said, you don't go too far with the crazy ideas.

As much as you love how creative he can be, you have to remind Rui not to blow up the house and bother the neighbours with explosions.

You have mini prank wars all the time, the winner is often decided by who pulls the most impressive ones

There's a lot more to Rui than pranks and explosions! If you're having a bad day, he always whips something up in his workshop to cheer you up. You'd be surprised how little time he needs to make something if he applies himself.

Rui can struggle with ideas but just spending time with you is enough to fill his head with tons of them

Akito Shinonome

You can be irritating but he loves you a lot ☺️

Karaoke is a frequent thing for the two of you, Akito doesn't like to say it out loud but he loves your singing voice and that's why he suggests karaoke so much.

He gets a bit embarrassing expressing his feelings through words but that doesn't mean he loves you any less, he does his best to show his affection through actions.

Akito's protective but not possessive. When you go out he will ask you where you're going but solely out of safety concerns- he trusts you and would never suspect you of anything wrong.

Toya Aoyagi

He's literally so sweet 😭If anything's up he'll go through any obstacle to help, his father didn't support him much in his childhood so he's decided to support his loved ones much better than his father could ever support him.

Toya's a dry texter, if you text him anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, he will somehow find a way to respond in the most monotone way ever. It's not intentional but you find it hilarious when he responds to a meme with a simple "haha".

Mornings are peaceful. Usually, the two of you just sit in the kitchen in your PJs together drinking coffee in silence.

He's an awful cook but he tries his best. In an attempt to help him out, you cook with him and give him some tips. Your help is beneficial but that doesn't mean that it won't always end in disaster. After training him for a while, Toya was trusted with the duty of making dinner. He decided to make Thai green curry with noodles however, when he realised that you were out of noodles and coconut milk he substituted them with spaghetti and cow milk. Havoc embarked and later that night, you were served a dire bowl of spaghetti in milk. You couldn't touch the meal and ordered takeaway pizza for the two of you instead 😭

[yippeefrog]

LOOKING FOR ROLEPLAY PARTNERS!!

Hi!! I am looking for a long term partner to write with!! I am genderfluid use they/them generally but am also good with any other pronoun set 🫶 & I am an adult if that matters to you! My timezone is EST, but my sleep schedule is... not there 😔 and I am willing to RP with someone from anywhere as long as they don't mind not getting immediate responses— I'm in school and volunteer often, but hope to respond daily (at least to check in and say hi, I want to be friends 😊)

I generally write at LEAST lit/semi-lit responses but will end up matching my partner's energy. I am also down to making pinterest boards, drawing scenes, and putting playlists together (let's have fun!!) ✌️

Writing-wise, I'm looking for more fluff type things (though I can write dramatic scenes and also love hurt/comfort, so we can do both). I am okay with writing angst and toxic relationships as long as we do not glorify them. I am willing to do more NSFW plots (18+ only), but only after we get to know each other and establish our characters' relationships (I'm also ace and like exploring this thematically rather than for anything icky). If you want, we can do multiple different rps at a time, I don't mind 😊

I don't mind OCs as long as I get information on them first!! Even with fandom writing though, I'd really like either canon-compliant or magical/fantasy AUs. With AUs or OCs, I'd like to focus on worldbuilding, not just the characters themselves.

I am open to M/M, M/F, and F/F pairings and don't mind if either of us writes a character as trans/something different from canon. Please be open to queer characters, I play a lot of characters as trans or genderqueer in some way.

Here is a list of my muses (+ romantic ships, though you don't neccessarily have to play one of them, I can do a platonic rp too 😊 I'm also open to canon x oc ships) —

FIRE EMBLEM THREE HOUSES:

- lysithea (x annette, edelgard, hilda)

- ferdinand (x any cc, especially edelgard or hubert)

- linhardt (x caspar)

- ingrid (x mercedes, dorothea, dimitri)

TWISTED WONDERLAND:

- azul (x jamil, riddle)

- riddle (x azul, ruggie, silver)

- ruggie (x riddle, silver, jamil)

- idia (x cater, vil, malleus)*

- trey (x jade, cater, rook)

ENSEMBLE STARS:

- chiaki (x kanata, kaoru)

- tsumugi x natsume (I can play either)

- hajime (x tomoya)

PROJECT SEKAI:**

- kohane (x an, toya, akito)

- miku x rin (i can play either, any sekai)

- tsukasa (x rui, emu, nene)

- ena (x kanade, mizuki, oc)

- nene (x emu, rui, tsukasa, ena, saki)

MONSTER PROM:***

- zoe (x any player character or aaravi)

- liam (x any masc cc, polly, aaravi)

- damien (x oz, liam, amira, aaravi)

* For Idia, I am open to an Ortho/Idia swap au where Idia is the one that died young.

** I DON'T wan't to play a canon prsk— for this one, I'd rather only play a fantasy AU or a pokemon one. Eventually, after establishing the lore, I kind of want to do an AU server

*** Would also love to start a monprom server if enough people were interested

If you wanna do cross-source rp, that is also cool— let's get silly with it lol

If you're interested in any of these, please interact with this post (reblog, comment, or just DM) about which one you're interested in!! Thanks for reading and have an awesome day!!

[stormflyblue]

can u tell us more about my magical girl au? I love hearing about aus like that lol

SCREAMS!! YES!!! sorry that it took so long to respond to this, i had to write a lot and im answering on mobile where i cant type as fast!! (also apologizes for my grammar in this, i was in a silly mood) prepare for the massive info dump under the cut!!!

okay anyways! the “magical girls” are wxs (bc im biased for them) and their theme would be “sweets” and “deserts.” their outfits are based around the fluffy dreamland set + other cards that i think suit them. (ex: nene messenger of feelings combined with her afterparty with fireworks(mermaid nene)) but emu is only based off of her smile of a dreamer card bc she’s the goat and it’s her focus. she’s sort of the leader of the magical girls (sorry tsukasa!! youre my favorite but ur not the leader for this au!! i have a lot of plans for you though >:3)

HOWEVER bc rui and tsukasa dont have clear full body outfits in that set im thinking of basing their outfits on different sets. tsukasa is the most clear for me, because he’s going to be an combination of his backstage encouragement card (lilykasa) and his an unexpected classmate card. i dont have any ideas for rui but i want him to be based on a lim card of his so his hair can change during the transformation ueueueuwuuwe (；′⌒`) .

since their theme is around sweets im thinking of naming their “charm” or those things that give magical girls power “___ candy” emu’s would be “sweet candy” since she’s the leader. nene’s would be “mermaid candy”. tsukasa would be “star candy” and rui’s would be “robo candy” or “thunder candy” (IM SORRY RUI I AM NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT IN BUILDING THIS AU 🙏) the names before ‘candy’ is either based off of their cards (nene) or their overall personality or actual theme (tsukasa, rui)

the order of who turns into a magical girl would be emu -> nene -> rui -> tsukasa. emu was the first to recieve her powers and has been fighting against “evil” for a good length of time. maybe around 4-6 months. because of this she is somewhat popular around japan and on the internet. everyone has at least heard of her if theyve stayed up with the latest trends. (saki is a MASSIVE fan of her’s).

nene recieves her candy during a particularly difficult fight she witnesses emu having. (here). in this au nene is more pessimistic that gets resolved soon when she gets to know emu more. the reason she knows emu’s identity in the comic i made is because she soon realized it after emu said something eeriely similar to her magic girl persona. she then confirms it during the battle and as she realizes the reason for why emu fights, she is determined to reciprocate those feelings to her. thus, she recieves her candy.

tsukasa and rui im not sure yet but i want it to be an accidental encounter. maybe during a show they have an enemy appears and they have to fight, thus leading tsukasa and rui to find out their identity. im still not sure how to make the enounter different for tsukasa and rui since i want there to be at least some time for nene and tsukasa to get popular on emu’s level (or at least close to it).

the “big bad” that magical wxs is fighting is called project DULL. it’s…nightcord… yeah. the enemies are n25. they have tragic backstories and i really want to see them snap at someone sooo /lh. haha! no actually though i want n25 to have another secret persona that NO ONE knows the identity to. even themselves. they work together but they have no idea of the real person theyre working with. yes, they still in n25 together working on songs but they also work together as the main “villains” (wink wink. nudge nudge ;3). a few times one or more of them come to their nightly vcs more tired than usual and theyre suspious but brush it off thinking “oh they must have had a more exhausting day than usual, i wont pry but i’ll tell them to take care of themselves!”

virtual singers and sekais still do exist in this au by the way! im also thinking of making each group into a villain fighting group but i have no idea where to start with that and i think my brain would implode trying to think of all of their lore in one go soo no mention of them here lolol.

project DULL wants to reset the world to a state where everything is neutral. no positive emotions, no negative emotions. no sicknesses either! the main reason they oppose magical wxs is bc n25’s “neutral” is tasteless (or at least that how i think) and wxs is based around sweetness and the different flavors of everything.

there are many other things i want to explain about project DULL and others associated with them but that would be spoliers and it would ruin the surpise!!! one last thing about them is that theyre based off their imprisoned marionette set and wear masks. (WINK WINK. NUDGE NUDGE)

this is all that i can think of right now. if i have any more information i want to dump i’ll just reblog. sorry if it’s a lot!! thank you so much for asking!!! <333

[kinabluuuuu]

─────────────꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱────────────

❝𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐦! 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜!❞

⋆˙ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ info + tags under cut

✧ hello, i'm kinablu but u can call me kina or k. im a 16 yo gay boy and i love to make things. specifically, i love to draw, write, and cosplay. i made this blog to share my creations and random ramblings. im new to tumblr so if i mess something up, please tell me ( ´_ゝ`) heres some more things about me, like my interests and dni. i love to make friends, so feel free to dm me at any time! ✧

tags

not too sure how this feature works since i'm new. but ive seen people use it like this so...lmk if this is the wrong way!

#kinatalk - random stuff. just talking about my life...

#kinarant - rants. good and bad, probably a lot of character theories

#kinaart - my art!

#kinacosplay - my cosplays!

#kinawriting - my writing! prob mostly fanfic lol

#kinaocs - things about my ocs!

#kinareblog - things i reblogged bc i think they are cool :3

interests

blue lock (main interest)

ensemble stars

project sekai

alien stage

milgram

needy streamer overload

vocaloid

bungou stray dogs

genshin impact

visual kei

sanrio

omori

stardew valley

minecraft

life makeover

the phantom of the opera

mouthwashing

+sm more im forgetting...

dni

homophobes, racists, transphobes, etc..

proship

fujoshi

makes sa jokes

tatsuhime and kaisagi shippers

byf

!!I AM A MINOR!! do NOT send me nsfw.

i often make nsfw jokes and fake flirt, as well as kys/kms jokes. i also say the f slur jokingly a lot since i can reclaim it.

do not use the incorrect pronouns on characters around me, even if it is a headcanon

i have diagnosed OCD and anxiety disorders. i may talk about them on here.

because of my anxiety i may be hard to interact with at first and i often take things the wrong way

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

✧congrats, u made it through the basics! here's some more silly facts about me like my kins and fav chars.✧

my favs <3

(blue lock) michael kaiser, ryusei shidou, alexis ness, nagi seishiro, karasu tabito...

(ensemble stars) tatsumi kazehaya, kaname tojo, himeru, shu itsuki, fuyume hanamura...

(project sekai) mafuyu asahina, mizuki akiyama...

(vocaloid) hatsune miku, kaito, otomachi una, mayu...

(stardew valley) elliott...

(alien stage) luka, ivan...

(milgram) kusunoki muu, kashiki yuno...

(mouthwashing) anya, daisuke...

kins

kaname tojo

mafuyu asahina

ena shinonome

shu itsuki

charles chevalier

hitori gotou

edgar allan poe(the bsd char, not the real guy)

nagi seishiro

mizuki akiyama

hiori yoh

etc

white(american w/ german + czech roots)

ISFJ 9w1 sx/so mel

5'3 ..

eng only, but learning french

────────────꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱────────────

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

4 the fic ask thing if u want to share info on any or all of them I would clap and cheer

fuck yeah

emunene little mermaid au: ive talked about this like once, but it's basically what it sounds like. emu is a princess; nene is a mermaid

plot stuff, emu goes on a ship, emu is saved by nene when her ship goes down, and she's very !!!! when she realizes that nene is the one with the singing voice she'd been hearing right after her grandpa died. unfortunately she is half delirious when she's saved and doesn't remember how nene looks. emu vows to look for the beautiful lady with the beautiful voice....

ruinene and emukasa would be the platonic pairings in the fic. i considered having tsukasa be emu's fiance? if only to parallel the original story. nene won't stab tsukasa. probably. but she does find him deeply annoying at first. he and emu might be close enough to consider a marriage of convenience...still havent figured that part out yet. nene gets less annoyed by tsukasa when she sees why he's emu's friend

rui is the sea witch, and he helps nene become temporarily human.

i dont have any of it fleshed out but i want to do something with the idea so bad. emu dragging nene to see the sights of the human world and to socialize.......nene being emu's company for longer than either knew. nene realizing the value of her voice when it's gone....she thought being silent wouldn't be any different from normal, but emu made her want to talk, and to sing, to yell and laugh. she wants to have an our happy ending moment with emu but she can't

rui angst fic/TtSaB/Working Title: "When faced with the unthinkable, Rui struggles to navigate old feelings and new fears. Fortunately, he has his friends by his side... it's just a matter of letting them in."

this is a fic ive been chipping at had since curtain call came to en LMAO. i asked 'hey can i have curtain call rui please please please ill write and post that fic idea i have' and rui came home in a single pull. so im legally bound to write and post it eventually. here's some of the scenes ive done

actual dogshit writing lmao. but yeah this fic is more serious than any of my other prsk ideas. i wanted rui to have at least one important scene with each wxs member, because their friendship is at the core of this. also wanted to include the vocaloids bc it's not project sekai without them....even if the idea of talking about your personal problems to hatsune miku is. well.

the plot and title is under wraps for the time being, but here's my notes on how i want to characterize rui

the fic should be 8 chapters. It's teetering between a Teen Rating and a Mature Rating, but I should probably write the rest before deciding anything...

other:

whenever im bored, i format unwritten fic ideas into stories on ao3. ive written absolutely almost nothing for either of these, but it's nice to imagine i have lmao

But I'm Still Here: Saki goes invisible, and everyone around her proceeds to freak out as they search for the 'missing' girl. includes tsukasa ping ponging between 'we'll find her, we have to' and 'it's so fucking over', leo/need trkes and failing not to fall into depression, and saki feeling guilty that Everyone's lives are put on hold for her. the original idea was set before they debut, but maybe it should be after (so toya would have surpassed rad weekend already lmao).

everyone who adores saki makes themselves sick with worry. especially since it lasts about a week. tsukasa has not been that anxious in his fucking life. he's coping...fine. he's doesn't throw himself down while wailing at least. and he doesnt vomit from stress (preventing both takes a lot of self control). leo/need try to be strong for each other, but they are all sad shivering dogs. shiho wants to punch to be useful but knows she can't do anything. ichika tries to stay hopeful, like saki would want. honami tries to be their calm leader...but theyre like, 16/17, so theyre all just anxious.

Phthonus: Rui is envious and sad the fic, rip bozo. it'd be an introspective fic. i'd want rui to subconsciously compare and contrast himself and bakuno, and come to the realization that tsukasa (romantically) likes the parts of bakuno that rui doesn't have (bakuno's timidness, his lack of confidence, his acting, his ability to not annoy tsukasa lmao). but he also has traits that rui does have (his passion for theatre, obsession with writing stories, talent above his age range, the ability to bounce ideas off of tsukasa)

tsukasa still loves rui, but he never saw him in a romantic light. if he ever did, then it's too late....tsukasa set his eyes on bakuno and went "i can fix him". and unfortunately, tsukasa isn't polyamorous. rui deals with the heartache every time he sees tsukasa, even though it hurts him. he loves him too much to ever look away

uhh other stuff without titles-

bakuno/tsukasa fic, maybe a kotaro/akito fic. they would be in a series about the npcs waxing poetic about the ocs. throw in some pairings like miyake & rui, otori siblings & emu, yukki and mizuki, nagi and an....but the first fic would be bakukasa because i like them a lot lmao

Another rui is jealous fic, but it ends in rks- bakuno and tsukasa sign up to be gay lovers in a short film and rui's clenches his teeth and tries not to mope over it. (he is the one that asked them to do it) he does not know why and thinks there's something wrong with the film/acting rather than himself. he's stupid. meanwhile tsukasa is slowly realizing he likes men bc of gay research he did... and while he thinks bakuno is cute, he's immediately hit in the face that he likes rui a Lot.

saki in mogami land fic- saki gets isekaid in a hell world where everyone hates her/doesn't know her. i cant decide yet. maybe both. tsukasa and her parents say mean shit to her, ichika avoids her, her favorite idol doesn't even know who she is. the ending is her going back to her normal world, where she proceeds to be crushed by tsukasa and her parents (she went missing for a week. tsukasa cries the hardest at her reappearance... though her parents aren't too far behind) this is another "i want to show saki how loved she is by taking it away from her" fic

ruikasa are fucking dumb fic - tsukasa confesses to rui, they get together, and then things go down hill because neither know how to act in a new relationship. tsukasa wants to be a good boyfriend, so he treats rui differently (in a way that bothers rui). he's probably sweet and nice and doting, which rui like, but it feels more like a role tsukasa wants to perfect. rui wants tsukasa to be himself. at the same time, rui also wants to be a good boyfriend, but becomes aware that he has no idea how to do that...so instead he subconsciously tests their relationship, wondering just how far he could push tsukasa to get him to go back to "normal". the conclusion is that theyre stupid and just needed to adjust and realize nothing changed

future wxs meets present wxs - there r so many ideas i have for this it'd fucking ridiculous. the most prominent one is future rks meeting present wxs. another one is 3rd anni tsukasa meeting pre wonder magical showtime tsukasa

wxs takes care of child wxs - due to sekai bs, there are teenage wxs and child wxs. they all take turns and interact with the kids...tsukasa and baby rui & nene and baby rui would be cute i think. my ideas are

1) baby rui getting sad that tsukasa said his ideas are too dangerous (he's literally five and wants to jump from a high place). tsukasa feels guilty about his sad little face and offers to do it for rui. cue rui's excitement that an adult wants to try his idea

2) baby rui looks at grown nene like a proud parent and says 'i'm so proud of you nene' and nene goes 'you're literally five. also youve told me that before.' she still says thank you though, bc it's cute and she's fond

child/middle school wxs meets emu's grandpa - rakunosuke shows up during difficult times in tsukasa/rui/nene's lives and helps them smile. none of them remember him, but during that moment, he's a bright light. maybe some emu/rakunosuke parallels?

kamiyama group during mizuki5 - i made a post abt this already, but a silly fun fic to what fun everyone had at the festival. nobody knows mizuki is suffering. very bittersweet

saki helps tsukasa get ready for a date with rui - saki gives tsukasa questionable dating advice and tsukasa ends up botching date with rui (rui doesnt care). includes tsukasa trying to be a gentleman, saki getting love advice from manga and magazines, and rui having a good time watching tsukasa fumble be a gentleman

arcland rui - canon rui wakes up in universe where he joined arcland and asahi. it shows an alternative path rui could have taken, and how that path would have been every bit as valid as keeping wxs together

...unfortunately, rui isn't happy with this because wxs disbanded and he doesn't talk to them as often. he doesn't even go to school with them anymore. (also he has a situationship thing with asahi And tsukasa but he doesn't notice either of them lmao)

i probably have others but these are the ones that come to mind first...hope this is all okay!

[sankatsuka]

My Personal Journey with Project SEKAI: How Haruka Kiritani Changed My Perspective on Life

I recently watched a heart-touching video on Omori, and it inspired me to want to express my own feelings about the special place Project SEKAI has in my heart.

I hesitated to share this because of how deeply personal and depressing it is and would leave a bad taste in the mouths of people who want to enjoy Haruka (and Tsukasa) without the lens of depression. But I really want people to take Project SEKAI's writing more seriously instead of treating it as some trauma complexity competition. It would be nice if this could resonate with some people and give some hope to them.

I don't consider myself a victim of ableism, but my struggle is objectively about ableism - so my personal answer may be triggering and something people would not agree with/be able to live with.

TW for ableism and suicide ideation.

For all my life, I suffered from feeling like everyday was empty and was like dying, but I was never comforted for it and thus came to the delusional view that everyone was the same and going through this. 'All of us are trying to become someone we aren't because the world won't accept us for who we really are, so of course I shouldn't expect comfort,' or so I thought. But there was no story that could clearly express this pain - I have felt it several times in fictional characters I'm drawn to, but it was sadly never the focus of the story. Because of this, I always dreamed of creating a story that could strongly express these feelings so all of us can open our eyes to it and not have to suffer alone anymore, and it's what kept me going for years. That is, until I found Wonderlands x Showtime from Project SEKAI.

When I first read the unit story, I recognized a lot of Tsukasa's behaviours and lit up - this was it. This was the story I had always been looking for.

I thought it was a given everyone would have perceived Tsukasa the same way I did. He was the leader character who was trying to become someone else: the framing of 'chasing stardom = couldn't stand life living as himself' couldn't get anymore obvious than that. These were the feelings that drove me to write A True Star as the seeds were so obviously planted but the writers just weren't sowing them. But the fandom was a wake-up call for me that not everyone suffered the same way and could see it, especially as Tsukasa became more and more forcibly fitted into the comfort sunshine boyfriend stereotype by the fandom. Even the people who were touched by my writing had vastly different views from me. It taught me that people are different and feel things differently, and suddenly I no longer knew what I wanted.

Mafuyu was never relatable for me, because I could never relate to being in so much pain to the point of not feeling guilt when people want to help you. For me, everyday was just dull - I could smile and laugh genuinely along with people, but something just felt missing and it made me feel dead inside. I kept aiming to become good at something so I could feel whole, but the motivation was just never there. But what was most painful above all, was the fact that I felt no one ever took my tears and emotions seriously, no matter how much I tried to express myself. This is what I could only perceive in Tsukasa and WxS at the time, and fuelled me into writing A True Star.

But I started feeling more and more guilty and selfish of my feelings for Tsukasa because of Curtain Call. Given the angst, more fans would probably be wanting to see a focus on Rui instead of Tsukasa. I also believed that the writers should be focusing on Rui, because if it made the fans happy, then they SHOULD write Tsukasa off as his fandom oversimplification so as to not overshadow Rui. Tsukasa's pre-established angst and Rui's apparent angst in Curtain Call just couldn't coexist to me without ruining the message and impact of the other. I decided my feelings were just self-pitying exaggeration and shouldn't be captured, and people who related to me should stop living that way. Because of that guilt, I found myself unable to write and draw the things that used to make me happy. I spent a long time paralyzed because of this, crying and suffering everyday from feeling that the dream I had for the longest time turned out to be stupid and there would never be anything fun for me to look forward to. A day didn't go by without me contemplating suicide. This was why I quit Twitter.

But I still couldn't let go of my feelings no matter how hard I tried to - I wanted to see my dream. I wanted to see it touch the hearts of people, for them to realize how painful it was being this way, that my feelings and those like myself were never an exaggeration.

In that same period of time, when I was begging my body to move and do something productive and not be like this over a fucking fictional character, going to counselling and reading all sorts of self-help articles to get over it - I briefly recalled Haruka's story. I finally understood how she felt: being unable to do what you love as you can't help but feel you're just an unwanted burden to others. Even if there are people out there who enjoyed your works, it doesn't matter because you're a fake and there are other better people out there who have more meaningful things to say than you. But even so, you can't let go. She gave me the answer to my dilemma in Painful Hope: to forgive yourself for being different and needing comfort in your own way. Even if it's not a big deal to others, it most certainly is a big deal to you.

Haruka Kiritani surprisingly broadened my perspective on life. I had never understood her character at the start, thinking she was just the stereotype of a responsible girl. I always thought I was a certain way - exaggerated like Tsukasa, but in reality I was far more simpler and pathetic than that. I just felt overly responsible for everyone's emotions for how painfully sensitive I am to people and my surroundings, that I never thought enough about expressing myself. That if I made someone unhappy, something bad would happen. And the big problem was, I believed I always made people unhappy for being different.

Wanting to be saved by the dream of the entire world acknowledging your suffering and being there for you? I only then realized how delusional it was and how it just made me look farther away from myself and worsened my life. How about using those strong senses to just be present and appreciate every moment of being human and alive instead? Enjoying the happy times with all your heart, letting yourself just feel the pain when someone hurts you, live everyday looking forward to more encounters that would enrich your life... Maybe along the way, you may even miraculously find something that completes you. (I LOVE YOU IF!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CHANGING ME YURRY CANON AND HARUKA KIRITANI!!!!)

It isn't about discarding your suffering, it's about acknowledging reality: there are so many people living in the world, it can't just be the way you need it to be for your happiness - but you can change. You just have to live for something that you can attain for sure, like facing the pain and emptiness of everyday for what it is and having hope for happier days. (My favourite anime of all-time Gintama captures this sooooo well, delusion vs reality, how both of them are equally important - please watch it. Now don't get me started on how strongly similar Project SEKAI and Gintama are--).

Besides, I wouldn't want people to change for me. I love them for who they are, and I was just blinded running away thinking no one would ever want me around as me. But now, I live trying to face the reality that there will be people who care and want me to be happy. I'll live with the pain of people not caring about me so I can fully experience those happier times when they come. And just because people don't care doesn't mean they're terrible people - the world is huge, there are too many options and choices for people to make.

Even if life is always so painful, there are times it's still so fun. I just can't let go after all.

Haruka Kiritani is the reason I stopped entrusting my ridiculous dream to Tsukasa and I'm not in as bad a place mentally anymore. I was just delusional like Tsukasa was, thinking achieving your dream would change everything and make you finally feel wanted and enough (lol, the meta is crazy). I'm grateful the scenario writers didn't give me what I wanted right away with Tsukasa - because then, I wouldn't have noticed the beauty in Haruka's writing. I'm pretty confident that WxS is definitely going in the direction I dreamed of (the same message I wanted to convey in A True Star), but it doesn't really matter much to me anymore now.

I can't go along with dreams of being saved anymore. I understand wanting them, I really did. But right now, what's more important to me is the love people have for me in the present, even if it's imperfect, flawed and hurts so much. I don't ever want to be saved if it means turning a blind eye to people who want me around and failing to respond to them as I've been doing up till now. I'm still not fully understood, which is why it hurts - but as long as I respond as seriously as I can, things might hopefully change someday. I've always been loved, and I want to cherish that. It's because of that I can no longer muster the emotions and anger to write A True Star anymore.

I slowly started realizing more and more similarities in Haruka too. There was such a small detail in Towards The Dream of That Day (Focus 3) that meant the world to me: the small moment where a young Haruka expresses discomfort with the crowd. Can you imagine that this sensitive girl who gets tired from crowds is now a top idol?

"...But there were so many people, I think I might be a little exhausted."

It didn't even hit me when I read that part, but I had a memory just like that with my own mother which slipped my mind. It's probably happened so many times my family had to take care of me in crowds in the past. But I had been so immersed in the delusion that I could overcome anything, that I completely forgot I was always the shy, fragile young girl to my family.

We have both always been loved and seen by people around us, but we just don't feel good enough that we end up trying to become someone else. It also doesn't help when your family thinks you can grow out of it - but if they love you, they will try to understand and you will feel that love if you're present. This is a big reason why living in reality is now so important to me - to properly respond to my loved ones, so that we can someday see eye-to-eye. And not to forget, to be able to smile and have fun with all my being once again.

More recently, it finally sunk in that I have always been terrible at smiling. I hated taking photographs because I could never get it to look the way I want it to, because no matter how hard I tried to smile, it just couldn't turn out natural. My mother has always pointed it out ever since I was young, but I didn't acknowledge it because I knew I could smile more naturally if I was in the mood - which is true... it isn't even autism, because when I'm talking about or doing something I love, I would be smiling and laughing so hard that my friends and family take notice. Just like Haruka and penguins, and when idol activities and times with her friends are genuinely exhilarating and fun.

A big problem we likely have is a form of neurodivergence that makes the normal world too boring and understimulating for us. And it's really a struggle - constantly being understimulated to even hold normal conversations, and then there's how most of our loved ones wouldn't get it because of how different we are.

And finally, there's Haruka in Precious Memories.

(I... can smile like this too.) (It seems somewhat different from when I'm at work...)

"...Thank you for giving me such wonderful memories, Saki."

How she realized she should cherish and preserve every moment in her life from Saki is so, so important to me. Even with friends, even if she's not always fully happy, she can have times she would find herself smiling so happily without realizing it.

It hammers in the realization I came to because of her character. After all, I ended up like this, unaware and self-hating, because I kept taking my own emotions and people's emotions towards me for granted. I was already happy just spending time around family and friends, but I couldn't fully immerse myself in it because of how hard I constantly was on myself. And the cycle of anger went on as people couldn't understand why I was so hard on myself. This is the power of Project SEKAI, just because she too couldn't move at all at one point - Haruka Kiritani helped me understand myself so much better and navigate life in a healthier, wholer way, embracing both the joys and pains of life. (Well... I still do run away, but I'm working on it...)

Shiho also became an incredibly important character to me because of the message in Stick to Your Faith that supplemented Haruka's character. I never thought to think of it that way, that there were things you couldn't let go of but it's okay to care about people's feelings at the same time. As someone with unique interests and who takes things a little too seriously, it was the words that I really needed to hear. I don't think we are similar enough to share even the same motivations though, but Shiho's values have definitely lit a way forward in my self-discovery. It's embarrassing to be so impacted by a story that isn't serious to most people. But truly, to Colorful Palette, thank you for writing Haruka Kiritani. Honami, Shiho and Tsukasa were all equally as important in making me realize the true weight of emotions and their impact on you. Project SEKAI made my dream come true in MORE MORE JUMP, in a far different yet better way than what I expected. I hope that this post would make people realize that Project SEKAI characters are more human than tropes. I was once blinded by tropes too, which made me miss out on how beautifully written Honami was - it really, really takes time to grow out of it. I'm tired of people attributing angst and depression only to Niigo when that's just a part of life and everyone has at least experienced it once. The sudden shift in atmosphere in No Seek No Find? A song about life and death in Kashika? Utsuro wo Aogu literally meaning 'looking into the void'? The constant themes of escapism in Emu commissions?

Each character is so strongly human in nature, that you can just understand the emotions they're feeling in the moment and why they feel that way. The narrative won't spell it for you, the characters are all unreliable narrators - you need to immerse yourself in both the story and the commissions and understand it yourself. You need to read all the unit stories to understand the writers' approach to emotions. Even if it doesn't make sense to you, it might start to make sense the more you learn about yourself and the people around you - because the writers have put in their actual emotions and experiences into writing and planning the character.

That is the beauty of Project SEKAI to me. I hope someday, instead of a cringey angsty teenage story, people could come to appreciate the human love and care put into its characters.

Finally, I end this love letter to Project SEKAI with one of my most favourite lines in If:

"Singing won't save your life or anything. But I want to sing for your sake."

"Even if this life of mine has no worth, the world is still beautiful. So let's live."

[ssruis]

Recommending this again bc its got updates. & also because I’m obsessed. It’s so good… go read…

Leaving my full comment here as well bc ao3 called me out for my immensely wordy method of commenting so. Y’know. Spoilers. Go read first.

Nene tucks her bag and coat under one of the seats in the stalls, then tries to find a person who doesn’t look terrifying to speak to so she can ask what they need help with. She barely recognises most of them, having not properly met with any other tech crew since the first rehearsal. Well- maybe if she just…stands here, someone will ask-

HELP… I love her so much. Nene Kusanagi. the most girl of all time.

“It’s so interesting learning about how much there is going on backstage! I guess I never really thought about it before…” Minori leans back to grab more paint, leaving another handprint on her leggings as she does. Should Nene say something…? “I bet the cast work really hard too! Having to sing and dance whilst smiling and acting the whole time too…that’s something I really want to learn!”

yayyy minori she’s so cute :) meeting of the fail girls. I love how you’ve worked in so many of the other pjsk characters in a way that feels very organic (instead of just random roles) and gives them a little spotlight even if they’re not the focus. You can tell there’s so much love and care put into everyone’s characterization.

I…have to be proud of the person I am now, if I want to be proud of the person I’m going to be.”

Wait, what is she saying? That’s not- that’s not something she came up with-

Somewhere tsukasa just got a huge ego boost. Thank god he’s not here he would be so insufferable.

He always speaks to her like a worried parent…the message might as well read ‘did you make lots of friends at your first day of school?’.

So real… he’s so annoying… Rui acting like that despite being like one year older than nene will never not be funny.

“I am about to fall over!” Tsukasa yells back breathlessly, hunching over once the piano stops.

“If you have the air to complain, you have the air to hold that last note!”

Insert the “I’ve hired a tyrannical director” tsukasa quote.

“Right? You’ll be fine.” Rui watches as A bends down to check on Tsukasa, lightly patting his shoulder. “We’re almost there.”

Tsukasa has died (cheering) (end story)

“Maybe!” Rui shrugs. “Honestly, I wasn’t completely sure at first, but I’m glad my intuition was correct. Seems like the star quality runs in the family, after all.”

“...I think you’re right,” Nene says quietly.

Nene and tsukasa relationship progression… smiles…

“N-no…” No, don’t remember me from auditions. Actually, please just forget my entire existence-

“Hopefully you make it next time, if that’s what you wanna do!” An says. “A little bit of confidence goes a long way, y’know? And you can always fake it if you’re not sure!”

she’s so funny I loved this part. The nene & an dynamic of girl with horrible social anxiety and girl who is so so cool but also so so excited to get to know everyone will never not be funny.

“Nene, your outfit looks so cute!”

But apparently there’s always one person who manages to find her. Nene looks up from her phone, Emu already barreling over to her. So long as she keeps away from the very heavy, very expensive lighting equipment, they’re fine.

The return of the pink thing… (The crowd goes wild)

Probably because you never sit still, Nene thinks. Especially right now. If Nene is rattling from nerves, Emu looks about to burst with excitement. It must be nice to be immune to any and all fear.

“I hope everyone is gonna enjoy the show tonight!” she says, smile bright even in the dark. “I bet it’s gonna be super wow wow yay yay woo woo!”

1 so true getting that thing to sit still is a losing battle 2 I love how you write her dialogue so much… perfectly straddles the line between her very silly onomatopoeia laden moments and her more serious moments.

“Every time I see the light I’m gonna know it’s you and get super super smiley!”

:) I care them

Nene repositions the light towards the stage, casting the bright circle over Tsukasa. He instantly looks up then recoils at the light, squinting up at them.

“Oi, what’re you doing! That’s bright!”

“Hi Tsukasa!” Emu calls back, waving. “You look super shiny shiny sparkly bright!”

“Oh, really?” His angry face quickly swaps to flattery, and he poses accordingly. Nene turns the light off. “Hey, put it back on!”

I laughed he’s so funny. Anytime Tsukasa gets irritated or upset (or completely unreasonably hesitant about a perfectly safe sane and normal stunt that is definitely necessary for the show) you can just redirect him with flattery. Works every time.

“Are you curious about the hair ties?” she asks. “We’re wearing them in mutual support with Saki, since she can’t be here tonight. She has one too! It’s cute, isn’t it?”

“Y-yeah,” Nene says. “Is she, um…recovering okay…?”

“I believe so! According to Tsukasa, she should be out in a few days.” Honami laughs. “She really wants to attend closing night…she keeps talking about it non-stop.”

“I was worried talking about it would make her sad, but she seems more excited than anyone else,” Ichika adds. “It’s a really great thing we didn’t have to cancel the show. It would make her really happy to be able to catch our last performance.”

“She should focus on getting better first,” Shiho says, not taking her eyes off her bass. The other two just smile and shrug. 

"Let's hope Saki can join us soon," the tall pianist says. Crap, Nene can't remember his name- Aoyagi? Nene isn’t sure what their relationship is, though he has a scrunchie tucked into his shirt pocket too. "She cares about this performance very much."

THATS SO CUTE… I love how well the L/N interactions are written. Shiho & her concern that comes off as uncaring when it’s anything but… also toya with the scrunchie too awww…

Nene stares. “What part of this is fun…?” 

“You’re all part of the team, so you all have to join in,” Rui says, and Nene groans, trudging out the pit with the others. It’s fine, if she just hides at the back, maybe she can get away with half-effort… “Here, Nene. You can stand next to me!”

Bastard. Nene jogs alongside Rui, ignoring his pleased expression.

Making a gamer exercise. Rui truly is a bastard.

“So this is what the life of a stage actor is like…” Aoyagi muses from up in front, hands barely stretching past his knees.

I giggled. Truly built like a wet paper bag, that one.

“Something like this is easy for me!” Tsukasa says, still looking strong with his hands planted on his hips. If Nene had more energy, she would stab him right now. “I’m not tired at all!”

And so he lives another day. It’s ok nene. there will be other opportunities.

“Um, no, I think you need to stay with the rest of the cast…” Nene says, aware that the company is mostly split into their separate groups. Surely she’s not supposed to stand alongside the actual important people, like the director, the lead, the important actors…even if it seems like they…want her there?

OUUGH you get it… You Get It… nene is so so loved but her anxiety ridden saw trap of a mind makes that so difficult for her to see.

“Absolutely…”

“Huh?” That’s not what she’d…

“Not!” Tsukasa finishes, holding his head up high. Nene quickly hides any and all concern.

“Makes sense an idiot like you would be stupid to get nervous. I didn’t care anyway.”

HELP…. ‘I didn’t care anyway. Idiot.’ I love how you write them so much.

It’s too soon…she needs Emu to cling to her arm and say stupid stuff so that it doesn’t feel so real-

Obsessed. I know what you are nene.

nene & tsukasa scene

I’m so happy this fic exists all the time but esp during the nene & tsukasa interactions they are so fascinating to me and you write them so well… nene telling tsukasa he’s overthinking it is so funny. I liked the little moment of him having a moment abt whether or not to send saki the pictures it reflects their whole dynamic so well. And him getting the text from saki and going SAKIII 🥺😭 was so cute.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you down here, Nene,” Rui says, and the way his eyes glint with just a little pride make her want to curl up and avoid everyone ever for the next ten hours. She settles for just crossing her arms.

Hes so annoying… I love how you’ve written their dynamic…

“But wow, the others really did a good job with you, Tsukasa,” Rui says, studying Tsukasa appreciatively. “You really look professional. And the hairstyle is very cute.”

“Cute?” Tsukasa narrows his eyes. “I’m not cute! I’m cool! Cool!”

“Yes, yes. Very cool!”

“Hm, that’s right.” Tsukasa flicks a strand of hair back, grinning to himself. “I’m so cool.”

Yuck (said fondly)

“Yes, I think you’ll do well tonight,” Rui says, taking a seat on the table at the side. Can’t he sit on a chair like a normal person?

I grinned at that. I love all the little details you put in your writing like Rui’s passion for sitting like A Weirdo… it’s like putting treats in an enrichment toy for people who are insane about these characters (me) to giggle at.

“You really know the script inside out by this point.”

“Of course I do,” Tsukasa says. “Especially after last night when you made me recite lines whilst throwing goldfish crackers at me…”

“What the hell was that for?” Nene asks Rui. 

“It was just really fun!” he says.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you…”

“Don’t worry, we didn’t study too hard last night,” Rui says. “We even watched the original movie to help keep the atmosphere. It’s important to have fun sometimes.”

“Fun for you! You were still throwing stuff at me even then!”

“Well, a good actor needs to be prepared for the unexpected…”

they’re so funny. I can’t keep saying “I love how you write x dynamic” because it’s true for literally every dynamic in this fic…

Emu gasps, jumping back. “Oh, sorry, I mean, um- break your legs, Nene and Rui!”

“No, it sounds kind of terrifying when you say it like that…” Tsukasa mutters.

Emu and inventing entirely new sayings. She’s doing her best <3

Kind of amazing that any guy can sound so sincere singing about love whilst wearing knee-high boots and beaded booty shorts, but.

HELP MEEEE… He really will do anything for a show won’t he.

Nene wishes she could be down there too. More than ever before. To be part of something. To be alongside others. The way Tsukasa gives it his all and shines…Nene wants to try that too. There's a fire down there burning so strong that its sparks are lighting her too. 

YESS I loved this part I love the acknowledgement of her competitiveness & “I want to do better I want to be on stage” attitude, and how that drives and motivates her

“I thought so too! They didn’t seem to think it was weird at all. Even my mom said she liked it, but I think she just likes the idea of two guys dating…”

new favorite side character: Fujoshi mom

“O-oh, um, I’m…um…” Nene fumbles for the words. Well, obviously, she took off her tech stuff so they don’t recognise her…and, actually, thinking about it, it’s not like they would let her sit at the table full of cast members anyway. They’re the important ones. Not Nene. Heat rises to her face as she takes a step back, because, seriously, what had she even been thinking, deciding to sit with everyone else like this-

“Nene’s a part of our team!” Tsukasa’s voice thunders out from behind her, and Nene jumps, turning to them. “Of course she can sit here!”

“Yeah, Nene is super important!” Emu adds, jumping up to grab Nene’s arm. “Wiithout Nene we would all be completely in the dark and the audience would just be looking at nothing for two hours!”

WxS is actually a theatre troupe second and a nene hype squad first.

“Wait, Emu!” Tsukasa holds up a hand. “Next time, can you try not kicking me whilst we’re in the Irish dance line?”

“Huh, I kicked you?”

“Oh, I thought I saw that,” Rui says.

“And you’re still telling her to do things the same tomorrow!?”

“Sorry, Tsukasa!” Emu bows. “Next time I’ll try not to kick you so hard.”

“Don’t kick me at all!” Tsukasa sighs, recollecting himself.

Writing group dialogue - esp for a visual novel that relies solely on dialogue and can rely on visuals instead of writing “x said” “y said” - is such a challenge and you do it so well… you can always tell who’s speaking and it flows so nicely…

“I’ll tell Ena and Mizuki not to be too rough tomorrow,” Rui says, then his face turns coy. “I do think that bunny suit looked good on you, Tsukasa.”

(Spraying Rui with water) inside thoughts! Inside thoughts!!!

“That’s my dream role,” Emu says, almost shyly.

“Hm? You want to be Cinderella?”

“I wanna be the cow,” Emu says dreamily.

“The cow-?” Tsukasa chokes. “That’s not even a human role!”

Emu’s face falls. “But I wanna be the cow…” 

“Don’t crush Emu’s dreams, Tsukasa,” Nene says.

“It’s not even a speaking role! It’s just a model of a cow on wheels!”

“Tsukasa, we have to be kind to our fellow company members,” Rui says. “I believe in you, Emu!”

Everyone ganging up on tsukasa… you love to see it. My experience with theatre is rather limited, (in that I attended the shows my sister was in, and took photos during their dress rehearsals), but I will say that when my high school put on into the woods we actually had a girl (not my sister, she was the bakers wife) be the cow. The girl actually requested it… she wanted to be the cow... That costume was terrifying. All that to say: I believe in you emu.

“Yeah, after the past two weeks I can see that…” Tsukasa says. Nene is sure she can almost see the trauma in his eyes. Rui tilts his head, suddenly forlorn.

“How can you say that, Tsukasa…? I’ve always been so considerate to your needs. When have I ever done something mean to you?”

“You made me stand on one leg for an entire rehearsal once!”

“To improve your balance and muscle strength-”

They are so irritating.

“Maybe we should consider that for a future show?” Rui says, and Nene suddenly realises something momentous. They’re talking to her because they want to. They’re talking to her because they see her as a friend. And they’re all here because they love theatre and they love putting on shows, and Nene is the same. She loves it too. She belongs here. They’re her friends, too. 

I love this part so so much… nene realizing she belongs… I feel like her own hang ups about having friends goes unnoticed by a lot of people in favor of rui’s (which, to be fair, his are a little more blatant). it’s so nice to see a fic that examines nene & her realizing she’s a part of the group and that they all love her.

[modyuki]

Hello! I like the posts you wrote for Project Sekai it made me explode /lh /pos

With that being said—is it okay to request for Mafuyu & Kanade with a reader that has Narcolepsy?

✧ • 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 • ✧

Notes: I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG REALLY 😭😭😭 , One of my friends is gone I had exams and I had some mental health issues but everything is ok now :3 . Thank you for requesting this I did some research on Narcolepsy so I hope what I wrote is accurate enough. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it.

TW: chronic neurological disorder (obviously)

Summary: 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 & 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐬𝐲

✦ · 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐢 · ✦

⋆ At first Kanade was confused for why you felt tired during the day so much

⋆ I mean you slept for 10 hours how are you tired ????

⋆ When Kanade confronted you about that in one of your visits to her house , you answered her telling that you had Narcolepsy

⋆ You explained to her that Narcolepsy affects the brain's ability to control sleep-wake cycles meaning that your brain couldn't control when to be awake and when to sleep resulting in you being sleepy for most of the day

⋆After that day Kanade did a little more research on it

⋆Which resulted in the both of you mostly having dates where you guys cuddled and slept together while listening to melodies that Kanade Made specifically for these occasions

⋆Kanade once got caught making those melodies by Mizuki and after that day Mizuki would not shut up about how cute it was

⋆ Ena wanted Mizuki to shut up to be honest, but she was happy for you and Kanade and so was Mafuyu even tho she didn’t express it

⋆ Mafuyu even offered to teach Kanade more about narcolepsy and things she could do to help

⋆ Let’s just say Kanade is more than happy to spend time with you specially inside

⋆ She loves having you by her side and even if you have Narcolepsy she will lend you her shoulder to rest

✦ · 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 𝐀𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚 · ✦

⋆ At first Mafuyu thought your behavior was strange but for now she decided to just watch what happens

⋆ After a while Mafuyu noticed that you seemed very tired during the day , even after hours of sleep

⋆ Once Mafuyu confronted you about this you told her that you had Narcolepsy

⋆ Mafuyu had learned about Narcolepsy before so it wasn’t something new to Mafuyu

⋆ Since Mafuyu knows quite a lot on the subject she always tries helping you in any way possible so you are not as tired as you usually are

⋆ Sometimes you can even catch her lightly smiling when you lay your head on her shoulder to sleep, you think it’s adorable

⋆ The two of you usually have dates where the two of you cuddle to sleep, although Mafuyu takes a bit longer resulting in her watching you sleep which makes her blush a little

⋆ But usually you can be find sleeping on the top student’s shoulder during lunch, which the students think it’s quite cute

⋆ She always get this warm feeling in her chest when you sleep on her shoulder

⋆ Mafuyu is always glad to lend you her shoulder to sleep it’s the least she can do , that’s what she tells you

Notes: IM SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT BUT I’LL BE BACK TO WRITING NOW SO, drink water get something to eat and take a break or else stuffed animal gets it 😡

[zon3dout]

akikasa magical girl au

hear me out-

tsukasa is a solo magical girl protecting shibuya, tokyo (i think that's where project sekai takes place) and akito is a photographer following tsukasa around on his missions!

they're also gay for each other but doesn't know it yet (they're both idiots) akito explains away his feelings with him being a photographer and tsukasa fighting makes for interesting photos! and tsukasa just doesn't realise that he's in love especially since he's too busy with school, wxs, and saving the city!

akito has a wall filled with photos of just tsukasa btw - vbs also totally caught onto akito's feelings before akito did!

akito, saki, toya, and wxs are the only people who know tsukasa is the magical hero!

also tsukasa is genderfluid and akito helps her dress more feminine in public for the first time! (akito is transmasc so probably gave his old unused women's clothes to tsukasa)

this au has been floating about in my brain for a while!! i just needed to finally write it down and now im sharing it with the internet- idk if i'll ever make something with this, i'll probably draw their designs but im not sure if i'll go further, im not the greatest writer so yeah

thanks for reading about my sillies!