#this is my first time attempting to legitimately write something in years

[problems-exe]

The Poem

The story of how Prim and Lu got together in the printerjamau

Wrote this a bit ago and decided it was about time I posted it. This is incredibly long, so I apologize for that, but for those interested in their story, I think it's worth the read.

Begins after the cut :]

The sound of the wind breezing through the desolate building rooftop does nothing to drown out the rapid beating of their soul.

Prim finds themselves sitting, not alone, but with a close friend. Listening to her ramble about the latest au she visited and the small bakery from which she had bought treats. The bag sitting at her side was long emptied, its contents having been eaten hours ago. Prim has found themselves a lot less alone lately.

Despite their best efforts, it's hard for them to focus on Lu’s rambles, distracted by the intense feeling of something in the air. Something about today felt distantly off. It wasn't unusual for the two to meet like this, a gift cradled in one of the skeleton's hands. But Lu had seemed so.. anxious when she asked them to meet. It was odd. She had seemed… flustered? Almost? But that wouldn't make any sense-

“Prim?” Lu pulled them out of their daze with the utterance of their name, a concerned and nervous expression on her face.

“Sorry, that wasn't that interesting, was it? I got a bit carried away…” She states, averting Prim's eyelights as a deep blush settles on her face, accentuated by the deep orangish-pinkish hues of the sun setting before them.

‘She looks so beautiful like this,’ Prim shoves that thought as soon as it crosses their mind, nervous glitches appearing up their body as they force themselves to refocus on the conversation again.

“Nah. Long day. Just zoned out.” Prim replies after a pause. A lie. And they know it's one. Their day had been fine, a typical day as any. They're always honest with her; why are they being like this now?

“Oh,” She sounded surprised, as if she had been expecting Prim to call her boring.

“I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it? I've been rambling on for a while…” She continues, looking back at Prim with a crooked smile. The usual squint of her eye sockets not present. Something was wrong. She'd been acting noticeably off all evening; they should have picked up on the pieces sooner. Prim was the worst person for something like this.

“Are- are you feeling alright? You seem.. upset.” Prim slowly gets out, thinking through the words before settling on them. Lu looks a bit startled at the question.

“I'm, um, yeah! Yeah, I'm alright, just-” She fumbles with her words for a moment, blush on her face darkening, and Prim's expression turns into a concerned frown.

“I wrote you something.” She continues, digging around in her bag for a split second before retrieving a clean, white envelope. Clasped shut with a cat sticker, the words “For Prim” written in cursive on the back. She bashfully presents the letter to Prim, and they momentarily gawk at it, carefully taking it from her hand. Careful to not get ink on it.

“You mentioned wanting to read one of my poems sometime, so..” *She adverts her gaze, voice trailing off at the end as Prim looks over the parchment presented to them. Their soul pounds in their chest, and they scramble to find balance in its weight. They stare at the small envelope, feeling deeply touched by the gesture. They reach to carefully remove the cat sticker before Lu's hands stop them.

“Don't, um, don't read it here. Read it when you get home. It'd feel embarrassing to watch you read it in front of me.” She states, with a nervous laugh, gently pulling her hands away. Prim nods carefully after a moment, slowly and delicately moving to place the parchment in their bag, careful not to bend it.

“I better get going now,” Lu interjects after watching Prim's bag close. They look up at her, surprised.

“Already?” They respond, concern still evident in their face.

“Yeah, I've got a long day tomorrow. I'll see you in a few days?” She responds, sounding hopeful, pleading almost.

“Obviously,” Prim responds immediately, worry still swirling in their chest.

“Right. Of course.” She states, as if reassuring herself.

“I'll see you then.” She continues, a tight smile on her face. She gives a wave of goodbye before disappearing into a portal, leaving Prim sitting alone. Surprised by the abruptness of it all.

They clutch at the strap to their bag, the featherlight weight of the envelope feeling heavy at their side. They're worried about what they'll find written in there. It's hard to fathom Lu acting so.. afraid over one of her poems. She'd sounded excited at the idea of sharing some with them when Prim had brought it up. Maybe she got cold feet? Even then…

Well, no point in speculating. They'll find out when they get home.

Prim sits for a moment longer, taking in the sunset one last time, attempting to calm their racing thoughts. After feeling more composed, they reluctantly rise to their feet, a tinge of anxiety gnawing at their chest.

Navigating through the usual motions of leaving a get-together like this, they slide one of their feet along the asphalt, leaving a trail of ink behind. They place their foot back next to the other, standing in place as the ink pools around them.

They begin to sink into the puddle, dragged into darkness for a split second before emerging in the cozy living room of their apartment, ink swiftly vanishing beneath them.

Taking a cautious step toward the nearby couch, they gingerly take a seat, pausing to take a deep breath. They turn their attention to the coffee table before them, using their hand to slide a few objects to the side, making room for the letter nestled in their bag.

Pausing once more to collect themselves, they carefully unfasten their bag, delicately reaching inside to withdraw the envelope. They stare at it pensively, toying with the small sticker that sealed it, a tiny yet almost taunting obstacle. They smooth the envelope with a thumb, using one hand to slowly and meticulously peel off the sticker, careful not to rip the parchment

They feel lost in their own little world, with nothing but themselves and the letter existing within the tranquil room. Unfurling the page from the envelope, they place the latter on the couch alongside them before setting the sheet down on the cleared space of the coffee table.

Their eyelights graze over the page, reading its contents carefully. It reads,

Prim,

I've written this poem for you to convey the words I've struggled to say aloud. I’m sorry for not finding the courage to tell you in person. As an artist yourself, I'm sure you understand that sometimes it's easier to express our emotions through our work.

I understand if my feelings aren't mutual; I know this must have come as a shock to you.

I just hope this doesn't change anything between us.

Yours Always,

Lu

Below this, begins the poem,

On a canvas brimming with vibrant dreams,

Where colors mix and blend with gentle grace,

I've etched our story, yours and mine,

In shades, that time will embrace.

Your smile, a brush of vibrant hue,

Turns every moment into radiant light,

And in your eyes, I find the clues,

To ignite my soul with a beautiful sight.

Each day with you, a masterstroke,

A blend of joy and true elation,

Your laughter dispels the shadows,

Bestowing me a profound sensation.

From twilight’s glow to dawn’s first rays,

My love’s a spectrum rich and rare,

In every shade, in every phase,

You're a masterpiece beyond compare.

With every brush and every stroke,

I craft a world where we could be,

A place where dreams and hearts intertwine,

A canvas created for you and me.

So I ask now, with hopeful heart,

To step inside this vivid scene,

To share a life, to play a part,

Will you be my love, my dream?

Prim sits in stunned silence, reading and rereading the words, page blurring as they attempt to process what they've just read. Lu likes them. Actually likes them. It's hard to comprehend. Why would Lu choose someone like them when she could have anyone she wanted? Lu's affection felt like a dream, too surreal to grasp.

The confession weighs heavily on Prim's chest, butterflies fluttering in their stomach. They're at a loss for words, mind racing with questions and uncertainty, but also a strong feeling of excitement that they can't push down. Their face turns a deep shade of cyan, magenta, and yellow as the realization sinks in. Lu likes them, and they like her. The words of the poem echo in their mind, evoking a soft smile. Despite being alone they start to feel embarrassed by their reaction, prompting them to pull their scarf up to cover their blushing cheeks as they read through the page once again.

A panic settles in as Prim suddenly realizes that they need to respond to Lu's confession. What do they say to her? Nothing they could say would come even close to matching what she had written for them. They never had been the best at expressing their emotions. But… Lu needed that right now. She deserved a proper response from Prim.

No wonder she had been so nervous earlier, she had poured her heart out to the inky skeleton. She's probably feeling as anxious as Prim does right now, waiting for their response.

Well, better not keep her waiting any longer.

They cast a final gaze at the poem before rising to their feet, letting their scarf fall from their face. They secure their bag firmly over their shoulder, one of their hands clasped around its strap. With unwavering determination, they proceed, ignoring their nerves.

They begin the familiar routine of creating a portal, their foot swiping across the ground with a trail of ink following in its wake. The ink gathers at their feet, pulling them into the encompassing darkness.

Upon emerging, they find themselves standing outside The Star Sanses’ base, as well as Lu's home. The Omega Timeline bathes everything in the glow of starlight, casting the surrounding area in a celestial glow. After countless visits, the building's layout is etched into their memory, allowing them to easily locate Lu's room from the outside, even in the darkness.

After a brief walk, they arrive at Lu's window, gazing up to get a glance at it. They can see her curtains partially drawn, revealing a few of her plants resting on the windowsill. Their nerves intensify as they turn their attention to the tall tree adjacent to her window. Taking a deep nervous breath, they begin the familiar climb. Despite having done this many times before, the weight of the moment makes their movements feel awkward and slow, taking longer than usual to ascend the tree.

Eventually, they settle on a sturdy branch, close enough to reach Lu's window. They pause for a moment, trying to calm their anxiety before tentatively tapping on the window and leaning back, waiting for Lu to open it.

Moments later, they catch a glimpse of Lu's face peeking through the curtains, her eyelights meeting theirs. Despite the dim lighting, her deep blush is unmistakable. With a soft click, the window unlocks and slides open, revealing Lu's head as she peeks through to see them clearly.

“What are you doing out here?” She asks, her voice filled with unease, a nervous expression on her face.

“Me too,” Prim responds quickly, their cheeks darkening as the words leave their mouth, realizing that their statement didn't quite make sense.

“...What?” Lu asks after a pause, her head tilted slightly in confusion, a slight laugh heard in her tone.

"I mean— I read the poem. Me too. I, um, I feel the same,” Prim stammers, avoiding Lu's gaze, turning their face away and tugging their scarf over their cheeks once more.

“Oh,” She breathes, surprise evident in her voice. There's another moment of silence, broken only by the chirping of the crickets and the rustle of the wind.

The air feels tight as the silence sits between them, Prim's soul pounding anxiously in their chest. They're starting to wonder if it was a bad idea coming here. What if they misunderstood the situation? What if they just messed everything up?

Gently, Lu's hand takes hold of Prim's arm, snapping them out of their thoughts; they timidly look up, finding Lu's gentle smile waiting for them. Prim feels the blush on their face deepen and forces themselves to not look away. It's hard to gauge her expression as Prim searches her face, but she doesn't appear to be upset. Lu tugs on their arm, and Prim understands the unspoken message. With Lu's help, they slowly make their way through the window and into her bedroom, landing softly on her carpet.

The silence doesn't last much longer once Prim is inside. Lu's expression is soft and adoring as she delicately takes Prim's hands, their eyelights meeting in a moment of quiet connection.

“...Really?” She asks, her voice gentle and hopeful. The look on her face leaves Prim feeling flustered, wondering how they had gotten so lucky. Prim nods, struggling to find the words, their throat tightening. Lu's smile widens.

“I want to hear you say it out loud, though,” Lu playfully pouts, her affectionate expression coaxing the words out of Prim. They feel like they'd do anything, as long as she continued to look at them like that.

“Yeah. Yeah, I, uhm…I like you. I have for a while now,” Prim responds, their voice slightly shaky. Lu's smile grows impossibly wider, her eyelights fuzzy at the edges, glistening with tears of joy.

“Will you be my partner, Prim?” Lu asks, her voice filled with hope and excitement.

“I'd like that,” Prim replies easily, their face flushed, gazing back at Lu with the same adoration.

“Cool,” She responds with a wet giggle, using one hand to wipe happy tears from her eye sockets.

“Cool,” Prim repeats, with a similarly elated expression. They gently replace Lu's hand with theirs, wiping the tears from her face. The two of them stay like that for a moment, silent, until Lu speaks again.

“May I..?” She asks, face flushed, eyelights flicking down to their mouth. Prim nods, and Lu leans in.

Yeah, coming here had been the right decision after all.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Logical Fallacies

A logical fallacy occurs when an argument is not adequately supported.

This can be the result of errors in reasoning, a lack of evidence, the author’s use of irrelevant points, or other reasoning moves that do not logically support the argument.

Advertisers, salespeople, politicians, and others might use logical fallacies to manipulate you.

Argument to the People (Appealing to Stirring Symbols)

Involves using a visual symbol (the American flag, pictures of babies, “Support the Troops” bumper sticker, etc.) of something that much of the public finds hard to reject but that has little relevance to the argument.

Example: Political candidates often use the American flag and other patriotic symbols in TV ads to appeal to and persuade citizens to vote for them.

Appeal to Pity (Ad misericordiam)

A verbal version of Argument to the People.

Example: A political candidate may tell stories about their life that are not connected to their platforms.

Like Arguments to the People, Appeals to Pity are fallacious if they are irrelevant to the argument in question; pity for the candidate should not be a reason why citizens vote for them.

In some cases—for example, when soliciting money for people whose incomes are below the federal poverty threshold or for the Humane Society—appeals to pity may be legitimately used.

Erroneous Appeal to Authority

Example: Years ago, a commercial for Bufferin Aspirin used Erroneous Appeal to Authority by featuring people on the street lining up to ask Angela Lansbury, a popular actress at the time with no medical authority whatsoever, questions about the pain reliever.

Ad Hominem (“to the person”)

Involves a personal attack on the character of the opponent rather than on the argument itself.

Example: Criticizing a restaurant because the chef is “too skinny,” rather than focusing on the merits of the restaurant’s food, service, atmosphere, or other relevant aspect is an ad hominem attack.

However, an ad hominem argument that is relevant to the issue (“Rinalda Gooch will not make a good President because she faints every time she tries to make a speech”) is not a logical fallacy.

Shifting the Issue (Red Herring)

Refers to the arguer’s changing the subject to avoid dealing with an unpleasant aspect of the argument.

Example: When a reporter questioned candidate Stone about her past marijuana use, she responded, “Why haven’t you asked my opponent about his drinking?”

Hasty Generalization

Means to argue on the assumption that an entire group shares the same traits as one or two examples of that group.

Example: “Women should not be considered for high political office because they’re too emotional to make thoughtful decisions.”

Appeal to Popularity (Bandwagon)

An argument based on the premise that an idea or product has merit just because it is popular.

Example: “All the cool kids are wearing Stinko sneakers this season,” the saleswoman told the boy. “You don’t want to be left out, do you?”

Begging the Question

Involves “supporting” an argument by stating the argument in different words.

Example: “We need to bomb evildoers because they are guilty of horrendous acts,” basically restates the claim (evildoers are people who do evil) instead of stating a reason why bombing the “evildoers” is a good thing to do.

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

An argument that uses Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (“after this, therefore because of this”) illogically suggests that because one event followed another, the first event caused the second to occur.

Example: “The fact that students cut their hair over the weekend and their test scores were higher on Monday shows that shorter hair leads to good grades.”

False Dilemma or Dichotomy (Either/Or)

This argument attempts to sway opinion by making it seem as if the only alternative to a proposed argument is one that is obviously unacceptable.

Example: “We must fight the enemy in their land so they don’t follow us to ours” suggests -- but does not attempt to show -- that one country’s aggression is the only way to decrease another country’s aggression.

The Slippery Slope

This argument attempts to dissuade people from taking or allowing a specific action because it might cause a particular condition to spiral out of control – no matter how far-fetched.

Example: “Legalizing same-sex marriage could lead to legalizing marriage between people and their pets!”

If these notes are helpful in your writing, do tag me, or send me a link to your work. I would love to read it!

Writing Notes & References

[geothewriter]

Any Other Way - A post-war Zutara One Shot

Happy Birthday (slightly early) to my good friend @achillmango

I wrote ya a lil something because you're an awesome person and a great editor! I legitimately couldn't have made all of this progress on Vermillion Seas Cardinal Skies without you. So... here! I ran with an idea we talked about a while back.

Special shoutout to @demaparbat-hp for helping me edit this fun piece. You helped me add the polish to make this special. <3

And so with this, my first public action as your regent Fire Lord, I declare all aggression over. Our troops will withdraw home, now, to the Fire Archipelago, or to the colonies. On that topic, as I'm sure you're well aware, the colonies are a difficult subject to consider. The newly appointed peacetime council and I have already begun correspondence with King Kuei of the Earth Kingdom to begin ratifying a joint act we like to call the Harmony Restoration Movement. It is a long road, but together, we will travel it well. I'm sure many of you are wondering why an old war general is attempting to herald peace. Why would the Dragon of the West hope for less conflict? I am an old man, and I have seen the atrocity of war. Many across the seas will know me as something else, but I assure you, I am no longer that young man. If I must answer for my past crimes and ambition, so be it. Make that call, and I shall answer. If you call prior to the passage of the next seven years, a council of responsible individuals will head this fine nation. After those seven years have elapsed, my nephew, Prince Zuko, will take the throne as Fire Lord. Until such a moment arrives, he is to contribute to communities around the across all lands, gaining post-war-time political and worldly experience prior to– Zuko gently placed the article that formerly acted as packing paper on the table. His uncle sure could write a speech when he put his mind to it. Three years. He had three years left before his freedom came to an end. A long time, to be sure, but could he really prepare himself fully for the throne in only three years? A terse sigh escaped Zuko’s lips before he turned and pulled another mug from the box on the table. Unwrapping it with care, he placed the porcelain cup in its belonging place, up in the cupboard. Another delve into the box, and he withdrew a rather large plate.  The protective paper fell to the side as he placed the tableware in another cupboard. He wondered, could it really be so simple? Would he really be able to settle down in a new location every few months for the next few years? It wasn’t like four years helped him fit in with the rest of the world. If he wasn't normal by now, then there was no way on earth three more years would do the trick. Zuko sighed. At least the nightmares had stopped midway through last summer.  It was when she joined him. It was the promise, really. “If things don’t work out, and we’re both lost and aimless in the world, promise you’ll find me?”  “Only if you promise the same.” They sealed the oath with a hug and parted ways after his Uncle’s coronation. A year passed with little contact. Zuko was too busy to think beyond the next day, and she was too busy rebuilding the south to write.  She found him in Jang Hui, while he was supervising the removal of the vast quantity of rubble from the destroyed metal foundry located there. He was overburdened, having taken on both that and the difficult job of establishing a more robust local government, as well as setting up a makeshift hospital to get them back on their feet. He was more stressed than he could ever remember. He hadn't slept properly in days. Hadn't eaten, either.  Then she happened. 

Continue Reading on AO3.

[emaistome]

The battle of Rook's Rest was as bad as the battle of the Bastards

I think that it's safe to say that I didn't like House of the Dragon season two, and I will write multiple posts talking about all of the things that are wrong because there are a lot. It kind of let me heartbroken because my favorite character was Alicent Hightower and she had been butchered. But my complaint for today will be about episode 4 and 5 and the things I didn't like about them.

First I want all of us to be reminded that, one of the reasons why Game of Thrones was so loved, was because it showed us that character's actions have consequences, and logical consequences. Something I found lacking in House of the Dragons.

The most blatant example of that is the battle of Rook's Rest. There, Aemond fired at his brother, in the middle of the sky, in broad daylight, in front of thousands of soldiers, and somehow no one sees that no one talks about that....

We know that kinslaying and kingslaying are considered as some of the worst sins in Westeros, they say that "no one is as accursed as the Kinslayer", and Jaime was heavily criticized for killing the mad king years after it happened. Somehow Aemond tried BOTH, so he is a recidivist since he'd already killed his nefew, and the ONLY person to catch up on that is Alicent, she wasn't even in the battle. Not a single person talks about it, there's not a rumor, nothing??? If it were something logic from the moment the returning troops set foot in King's Landing, this story should be on everyone's mouth and it wouldn't be just Alicent and Criston's little secret. It makes the world of HOTD feel so dull and lifeless. It just doesn't make any sense. Rook's Rest is like the battle of the Bastards, it's all performance with no substance.

I have a hard time believing that.

But the issue continued to episode 5, where it is mixed with other issues, mainly with Alicent.

Alicent and her people plotted for years to put Aegon on the throne over Rhaenyra, because Aegon is a man and Rhaenyra is a woman. Why does she proposes herself as regent, knowing that it undermined their claim? I mean she has a good reason, but her approach is so dumb, since she should know that the council wouldn't agree with her given the entire premisses for the war. Is she dumb? She is not a Targaryen, she doesn't have a dragon, on top of that. And it's natural that she loses power because she is no longer queen but the dowager queen, her power diminishes. And I know that mothers rule as regent when their sons can't but it literally happens when they are children, if they are grown and married, it's most likely their wives who rule. Why doesn't she at least proposes Helaena? And it's so stupid because in episode height she tells Rhaenyra that Helaena would have all the power when Aemond is gone.

As I said, she has good reasons to want Aemond far from the throne he is a kinslayer, and on top of that she knows that he attempted both kinslaying and kingslaying at Rooks Rest, which make him dangerous even for her. He tried to kill a family member for power, how does she know that he won't try to kill her if she stands in his way?

While her attempt to be named as regent was dumb, it was justified.

Now I wanna be clear about something which is where the struggle of episode 4 and episode 5 seems related. If the writers cared about logic, Alicent would have proposed to be named regent and the entire council would have agreed and named her regent. They would have heard the rumors about Aemond trying to kill his brother, even if they are sexist, kinslaying and kingslaying are worse than having a woman. They should at least be frightened of him, but for some reason, they don't seem to know any of that.

Alicent on the other side knows that he tried to kill his brother and at this point he's unredeemable, she has legitimate reasons to fear for her life and she knows that the council would be more than hesitant to name a woman regent. So what does she do?

I have the example of Kendall Roy from succession who was in a similar situation in the middle of the first season, Kendall is not very smart, but at least he had an entire plan to overthrow hid father. And it's basic logic, he knew that people wouldn't agree to have his father removed if he didn't give them a reason, just like Alicent knew that the council would prefer to name a man instead of her at it's head. And both of them had valid reasons, Kendall realized that his father was a bit senile and Alicent knows that her son is a psychopath.

She had to convince them that he wasn't fit to rule and strengthen her claim, by proposing Helaena as regent, even before going to the small council that's the least she could do.

It's like in season two Alicent lost all of her intelligence and it bothers me.

It was all for today, I will talk about more issues in the future.

[tessarionbestgirl]

So if you are not team green from the books why are you now?

Well If i get the meaning your question anon, a short answer for your that would be:

Long answer would be:

Well, first, I am Team Green, doesn't mean I hate every character on TB. I do like Daemon as character, sure I don't think he is internet boyfriend. But I do think he is a very compelling character. And besides Aegon, he is the second character with most potential for development. Especially when Nettles come to picture. If the Ryan has balls enough, she could much be the Brienne of Daemon.

Even Rhaenyra, in the sense of her own tragic narrative. Like, ok Ryan is not inventing the wheel with her character, literature is full of kings that are legitimate heirs to the throne that end up loosing power and going crazy over their own self destructive behavior.

And look I even admit would be so much easier to be TB, like even before I watched the show, all my friends are TB, and I knew how TG ends. But when I started watching it, I star to love Team Green. They are just better writing characters, and their dinamics are more nuanced and compelling .

I really found fascinating how Otto actually care about the kingdom, but at the same time has ambitions and uses this to justify in his head selling his own daughter to king, like he loves her but as well, is interesting how he justify his behavior on his own head.

Meanwhile Alicent is such cunning and compelling character, to me she maybe the most complex character of the show. She has so much nuance, I could write forever about her character. The way she connects the best part of herself with her mother, meanwhile also she does become more and more alike to her father creating identity crisis. And that is just touching the surface with her.

And then part 2 dropped and consolidated that for me. Rhaenyra, which was some out compelling, becomes inconsistent with the original characterization and is very much a reactive protagonist, only being held together by Emma brilliant acting.

Part 2 where the kids are introduced, the show actually land very well into establish team green kids much better, with nuances and potential. Aegon, a hedonist who drowns himself in drink to avoid responsibility and lack of affection, with the potential to become a reverse Robert. Aemond is a fine warrior who hides his feelings behind his facade and blindfold. Heleana being the misunderstood pure and innocent child.

The kids on TB barely have characterization, Baela and Rhaena in the books are supposed to be similar configurations to Arya and Sansa, but the show doesn't even establish that well, they don't even have internal rationalization.

Why don't Jace or Luke have resentment towards Rhaenyra because of the status of bastards one bit? Fuck even Jon from the show has more nuanced feelings about this subject than they.

Why doesn't Baela feel a little bitter toward a bastard taking a place she is actually more worthy to have in Driftmark? It can't just be because they grew up together, Aemond grew up with Aegon, and still feels more entitled to the throne than Aegon.

Why are Rhaena or Baela so loyal to Rhaenyra and not feel the slightest bit of resentment towards their father for marrying her so quickly after their mother died after years of lack of affection from Daemon?

For me, I can't take the answer into consideration "they love each other and are a loving family" without the writers making me believe that these characters only have two dimensions.

I think that in this sense, Ryan fell into the same mistake as D&D, in an attempt to make these characters more heroic, he took away everything that could make them interesting. And I'm unlikely to like something that reminds me of GOT's bad writing, or bad writing in general.

Anyway, I hope I have answered you anon. And sorry for the ted talk.

[the-river-delta]

The tragedy of the OGL and Starfinder 1e

The controversy regarding the Open Game License that Wizards of the Coast sparked in 2023 had many consequences big and small, from 5e's SRD being put into Creative Commons to the creation of the ORC license (and Pathfinder 2e's shift to it in the Remaster), but one of the more unfortunate and less-discussed casualties has been that of Starfinder 1st Edition, which as a huge fan of said game I wanna talk about in this probably overlong post.

The Starfinder Roleplaying Game - the strange science-fantasy spinoff of Pathfinder (itself a spinoff of 3rd edition Dungeons & Dragons), supposedly developed and put out by its publisher Paizo to make up for the inevitable drop in sales that Pathfinder would experience upon the announcement of its new edition.

As something developed around 2016 and launched in 2017, at a time when the much simpler DnD 5e was on a meteoric rise, the largely Pathfinder- and in turn-3.5-shaped rules chassis of SFRPG could've come off as a little clunky or even downright archaic to a lot of people (not helped by problems such as the infamously awkward starship combat rules that needed emergency errata to mathematically function, continuing to be controversial throughout the game's lifespan).

I myself have gotten into TTRPGs at around that time, but remained somewhat unaware of Starfinder for a couple years - the announcement and eventual launch of Pathfinder Second Edition is what indirectly made me pay attention to Paizo and their games beyond a failed attempt at getting into Pathfinder purely as a crunchier 5e alternative, at the time divorced from the context of anything other than the humongous, nigh-incomprehensible mountain of rules and options that was impossible to navigate without the help of a more experienced friend.

Since that fateful 2018-19 however, Starfinder gripped me more and more in concept, presentation, and even the rules - though my actual play experience to this day is embarrassingly low as either a player or GM, I've legitimately come to love the tweaks it made to the already venerable PF1 ruleset to really make itself feel like a high-octane science-fantasy adventure game, and I fell greatly in love with the game's setting; Yes, it was and is the kind of sci-fi kitchen sink that tries to accommodate everything from cyberpunk and to military SF to space opera and soft sci-fi and Pathfinder-in-space-type science fantasy, but good art direction and writing made it all feel surprisingly coherent for such a big-tent premise.

Parallel to all this, I've played and run a great deal of games far beyond the d20 sphere, and slowly discovered what kind of roleplaying games I really enjoy playing and running - but all this time, Starfinder remained in the back of my mind, and I found great joy in perusing each new supplement - for the artwork, for the lore, for the rules and player options.

As Pathfinder 2e grew in popularity, there were a lot of people who wanted its science-fantasy sibling to also adopt the PF2 ruleset, with its sleek three-action economy and all other rules tech that its proponents loved so much, and at the time at least, Paizo denied having any such plans, choosing to keep Starfinder going as-is. I myself began as one of those "Starfinder 2e would be so good" people, but my enthusiasm for PF2 eventually waned somewhat, at the same time as my appreciation for SF1's ruleset grew, so I began to push back on the idea somewhat, or at least suggest caution.

And then, the Open Game License crisis rippled across the d20 portion of the TTRPG industry (that is, most of the visible and profitable part of it) - fearing legal reprisal from Wizards of the Coast, Paizo rapidly worked to distance Pathfinder from the OGL rules and concepts it was built on, Remastering the game and moving their work onto the newly-developed Open RPG Creative license.

At first, it was not clear what the plan was for Starfinder, even more entangled in the OGL than PF2 was, given its stronger PF1 and 3.5 roots.

Then, at GenCon 2023, Paizo announced Starfinder Second Edition, with a playtest launching a year later.

Sounds great, right? This is what the people have been asking for all this time!

Then, more details were revealed - Starfinder 2e would be wholly adopting PF2's ruleset, down to being able to freely mix ancestries, classes, equipments, spells, etc. from one to the other (something that 1st edition gestured at with some early guidance at converting PF1 stuff to SF1 bits, but was largely dropped and forgotten in the long run).

Between this and some other things, that's where my worries really began.

Part of what made Starfinder so appealing to me were the things that made it stand apart at the system level - the unique skill list (featuring things like Culture, Engineering, Physical Science and Life Science, Computers, Piloting, and Mysticism as a catch-all magic skill), the Health/Stamina/Resolve Points system (which vastly alleviated the need for a dedicated healer or long periods of downtime between encounters to heal up), the different weapon and armor proficiencies (like Longarms, Advanced Melee, and Powered Armor instead of simply the same old Martial Weapons or Medium Armor), magic simply being magic instead of an arcane/divine distinction (and only going up to 6 levels instead of 9 - though apparently that was a page space concern for the original core book more than anything), and a myriad other things.

And even though SF2 would benefit from things like the PF2 proficiency tiers, three action economy, and degrees of success, it would also be saddled with the things that first edition consciously did away with - so magic now is split up into one of the four traditions (arcane, divine, occult, primal), overriding some fun 1st edition lore about how modern society no longer differentiated between those. Even the skill list has been turned to be the same as that of PF2, with the merciful additions of Computers and Piloting - but things like Religion, Performance and Crafting are a thing now.

At least we're still paying in credits instead of silver and gold pieces.

There are other changes that frustrate or perplex me (like how technomancer and mechanic, two classes that were in 1st edition since the start but are being left out of the SF2 core and saved for later - though at least aren't being cut altogether, same with starship rules... or the fact that SF2 is doubling down on being silly and having a god of memes in the core pantheon and a skill feat for Trolling People With Your Online Posts), and many of these may seem like small-potato issues (the distinction between Kinetic Armor Class and Energy Armor Class was pretty minor in practice after all), but in aggregate all of these things made SF1 properly standalone and unique in a way I fear is being sacrificed for SF2 at the altar of compatibility with its biggest fantasy sibling Pathfinder.

Paizo's messaging on the subject has also been mixed - they say the game will be properly standalone after launch, yet they're also careful about designing each SF2 class as to not step on the toes of an extant PF2 class (because you can just bring in said PF2 class into your SF2 game instead, right?), resulting in something like the Soldier (which in many ways was a fighter in space in 1st edition, even though I'd argue it was a pretty baller implementation of the idea) being vastly reconceptualized to a rather mixed reception from SF1 fans; And in general, a lot of the current marketing about SF2 feels like it's been aimed at Pathfinder 2e fans first ("you can now play using your favorites ruleset IN SPACE, or bring in cool laser guns and solarians and freaky aliens into your Pathfinder game!") and at SF1 fans second (and even then, with a kind of implicit aim towards the "man I wish Starfinder just used the 2e ruleset" crowd of Starfinder players - look I was one of them at one point, I get it).

Even the big Starfinder 2e playtest actual play at GenCon couldn't have been a fully SF2 game, as it featured the iconic PF2 investigator in the adventuring party. Sure, it was just a marketing thing to do for fun at a convention, but it's not helping SF2 escape the "it's the sci-fi expansion to PF2" perception.

Some Paizo staff have said that Starfinder 2e was already being tinkered with even before the OGL crisis hit, but that the event kicked the development on it into high gear - causing two entire rulebooks and an adventure path for SF1 to be canned (even though one of them, the Faction Guide, already had freelancer assignments submitted in and even had the cover art ready to go; another was the Extraplanar Archive, which would've delved into what the wider multiverse of SF1 was up to, a book I personally wanted for the entire run of first edition, so while it wasn't worked on a lot at the time, knowing it fell through hurts me in particular as a fan of extraplanar science-fantasy stuff!) - I get it, Paizo is a business and that was a business decision, but it didn't feel good to hear either way.

Speaking of which, the week before GenCon, Paizo dropped a really frustrating bombshell onto the community: they had updated and revised their community licenses and policies, two of which have caused some serious uproar.

For one, to continue distancing themselves from the Open Game License, the Pathfinder and Starfinder Infinite programs (which allow community members to publish paid supplements for Paizo games that utilize their intellectual property, settng and proper nouns and all) would no longer be accepting OGL-based products for either PF1 or SF1 starting in September. PFI and SFI have problems of their own with the large cut and exclusivity involved (much in the way that D&D's and WotC's Dungeon Masters' Guild program does), but it still stings.

The other, arguably even worse news, was regarding the Paizo Community Use Policy (link to an archival version in case Paizo deletes the live version altogether) which allowed community members to use Paizo IP and imagery in noncommercial products and projects - it has been suddenly replaced by the Fan Content Policy (which in addition to being a worse, more corporate sounding name, is also exactly what WotC calls their own equivalent document).

The FCP is much more restrictive about what one can use it for compared to the old CUP - crucially, it's not applicable to "game products" such as, and I quote, an adventure module, sourcebook, character builder, rules database, video game, board game, etc.

While projects with bespoke Paizo licensing agreements like Archives of Nethys and the Foundry VTT module are unaffected, projects that relied on the CUP like Hephaistos (a beloved Starfinder 1e community tool, covering everything from creating characters to managing campaigns and encounters) have been forced to either cease development altogether (which would allow them to be grandfathered into the FCP, provided they would no longer receive any changes) or go back and be scrubbed of Paizo IP (which would be both time consuming and incredibly messy for a game where the OGL-published rules and Paizo-owned lore are so intertwined).

While a number of Paizo staff have said that they'd look into revising the policy to not completely screw the community over like that, it's already done a lot to damage people's trust in the company, further compounding the already strong sense of alienation many 1e fans have been feeling over the past year since SF2 has been announced.

I've played a good deal of PF2, and am currently in the process of preparing to run some SF2 playtest games, and I'm near-certain that Starfinder 2e will on the whole end up being a whole lot more popular than 1st edition ever was, both on its own merits and certainly as PF2's sci-fi spice cabinet - but there is a non-trivial subset of the existing SF1 community that is just bummed out about this whole thing. If nothing else, I now understand how many PF1 fans felt when the game went in a different direction from what they originally came to it for (even though I'd still argue it's good some of the more bigoted stuff was left by the wayside) - except now Starfinder 1e doesn't even have the benefit of easily continuing under a community banner, with the new Starfinder Inifnite and Fan Content policies.

I don't have a great way to wrap this up - there is only so much that feedback I submit regarding the SF2 playtest will accomplish (something I still intend to do, to at least help out testing the parts that are on the table for change and improvement), and getting anyone, at Paizo or otherwise, on board with the OGL again is likewise infeasible, so I doubt anyone is willing to create yet another OGL-based spinoff and repeat the 3.5-Pathfinder cycle.

SF1 will probably remain playable, but if the fan policy continues to impede the development of digital tools that the game so strongly benefitted from, its prospects of upkeep (let alone growth) seem far more grim now than they did three weeks ago.

So while new SF2 fans are feverishly arguing if the promised SF2 ranged meta can work with PF2's cover rules or whether it was a good idea for the 2e witchwarper to be merged with the 1e precog... I'm just more than a little bummed out about this uncomfortable limbo state that SF1 has been put in, a far less graceful death than PF1 received.

[hazelfoureyes]

I'm kicking my feet and holding back squeals right now reading the comments you're getting on those thirst asks! Honestly, I used to be a writer, but that was years ago and I've since lost both my ability (no computer) and confidence to write. I've thought about starting my own blog but since all of this is being done via mobile, I'm a little worried that said blog would flop or be written off as a bot and blocked by pretty much the entire community. And as for the confidence thing, me sending these to you was a way to test it (among other things - I wanna try to make you feel the same way we do whenever we read anything you write!). I still don't have the confidence to make a legitimate attempt or let people see this side of me (hence the anonymity), but I'm hoping that I will find it soon. This community is so amazing and filled with wonderful people, people like you, and I truly hope to be a part of it one day. In the meantime, I would like to officially ask for your permission to send these thirsts to you whenever they pop through my mind? - ☄️❤️

First of all, baby darling honey pie I only write on google docs (on my phone), posting from *Safari* (on my phone). I don’t even use the app 💀 and this blog has been well received 🥺 sooo being on mobile is not an issue

Second of all, you got me WORKED 👏 UUUUP 👏 the “take it” line has been playing in my head every time I try to rest.

My inbox isn’t worthy of it but you’re welcome to send me your dirty smut 👌🏼 I mean?? Smut delivery? Yes please ! I’ll start tagging #Smutbox and anon’s emojis for any inbox smut :) if you happen to post something I’m not comfortable sharing, I won’t post but don’t take it personally! You’re welcome to share with someone else and see if they’re down to post!

Take your time :) hobbies exist to meet a desire and if your desire is to write in anonymity for yourself or my fellow humble deer cult members then that’s just as valid as me posting my horny head canons on main 💖 one isn’t better than the other or more real. Thank you smut Santa!

Also I made this for you

[frownyalfred]

okay the extent to which your amazing fucking fics are possibly infecting every corner of my brain now is starting to get legitimately concerning,,, which isn't actually news, but what IS new is the way i looked at that one BvS gif you just blogged yesterday?? and IMMEDIATELY saw the facial expression ben affleck made and went "WOMAN!!!"

....LOOK MAYBE I'M THE CRAZY ONE HERE, I GET IT OKAY but like,, something about that bitchy expression where you just KNOW he's saying the pettiest fucking line just then?!?! i swear on my life i have NEVER seen a cis man's face do that before, with the CLOSEST approximation i possibly would have thought anybody with a Y chromosome was capable of [before seeing that gif] being the sort of expressions drag queens do. (i hope that doesn't sound too weird/dismissive — not to go off on too much of a tangent, but i could probably write At Least one essay on why it's okay to admit that drag as an art form is not really an accurate depiction of femininity, AS LONG AS you acknowledge that drag is still Absolutely a beautifully, passionately written love letter TO the concept of femininity that fully deserves the appreciation it gets; but this is still not what i'm actually here to talk about lol)

okay yeah ANYWAYS that gif just absolutely SOLD me on the concept of bruce as an omega, and i'm saying this as someone who literally already has an omega!bruce WIP!! like, i've always thought the core philosophy behind batman tends to make him unintentionally very female-coded (and i must confess, i'm really curious to see whether you already have an opinion on this lol) in many different ways, but this is the first time i've seen/heard ANY GUY, let alone a batman actor with the right physicality to be batman, pull of this specific look, so i guess i'm just... shocked to be vindicated??? idk lol but i wanted to share so hope u at least enjoyed my manic ramblings a little bit <3 -krish

Batfleck is pretty! I've been saying that for years! He's this very intriguing mix of pure Batman physicality like you mentioned (man is canonically bigger than Clark in BVS) but also so beautiful and downright mesmerizing in certain close-ups on his face. Plush lips, high cheekbones, big, shining eyes? On Batman?? Sign me up!!

People laughed at me when I specifically started a coral room in the BVS universe, because I know most superbat a/b/o fics generally use a smaller, more omega-typical Bruce (which isn't bad!). But I wanted to challenge the trope stereotype by still having large, muscular Bruce lean into those more feminine moments like you mentioned -- it's an interesting contrast, seeing him hold so much space and power yet as soon as he makes eye contact with Clark, it's almost...sensual.

I think there are a lot of interesting stereotypical female roles Batman as a character unintentionally fulfills. He's the head of a family, the emotional center, the one adopting children, the one reassuring them. The fun I'm having with a sky of honey is just letting Bruce name these behaviors for what they are, in universe -- attempts at fulfilling his instincts that he keeps trying to curtail or avert entirely.

(gif in question below for those who are curious)

[skaldish]

i was raised in an agnostic/atheist household, like you, but i'm fascinated by spirituality and have looked into many different paths over the years, but never really committed to anything. i've felt a pull towards loki for a long time, and it's been getting stronger again lately, but i'm always held back by my worries that it's not legitimate somehow. i sense a presence in my life, but what if it's not him? it could be something else, or i could be making things up. what if i just want it to be him because, idk, i liked the marvel character vaguely based on him when i was in high school (even tho that guy has nothing to do w my beliefs Now), or i think he's fun, or i like what he stands for, and i'm just making up this pull out of whole cloth? sorry, this is turning into a tangent, but what i'm trying to get at is - i've never really followed this pull because i'm worried i'm not coming at it with the right intentions, and i want to do this the right way. do you have any advice on how to start working with loki, or advice/thoughts on whether or not i should attempt it?

sorry if you get questions like this a lot, or it's annoying. i'm a longtime follower of yours and i've always found your posts very insightful. you've changed the way i see the world, so i'd really value your opinion, if you want to give it.

It's all good. I like questions.

I actually dealt with a very similar situation early on in my practice: I was unsure if my experiences of Loki were just figments of my imagination, or if I was actually interacting with some kind of disincorporated intelligence. And if it was the latter, was this intelligence actually Loki, or did I just want it to be Loki?

Even though I couldn't draw any conclusions from these questions, there was one thing I could conclude: "On the off-chance that this is an entity, it would be very impolite to ignore it."

I have to assume that anything that behaves and engages like a person, is a person. Regardless of whether or not Loki's real, this was the only ethical choice.

If you're experiencing some kind of energy, treat it as the kind of energy it seems to be. If that energy seems like a person, treat it as a person. If that person says he's Loki, make sure you verify it.

I have a write-up on how to do all those particulars here:

Beyond that...thinking a deity is cool and interesting and fun is a perfectly fine reason to want to venerate them.

I think folks get this impression that the only people who interact with deities are divinely chosen for it, and it's really not like that. Deities are people, and people enjoy socializing. And like with most social relations, who breaks the ice first doesn't really matter.

[thelediz]

Sonic Underground watchalong – final thoughts

So I watched all of Sonic Underground again, in the hope of finding inspiration for a fic I’ve been writing for years. Check out either the watchalong or the fic, if you’re interested!

Because I was writing notes, I was paying attention in a different way than I ever have before. It didn’t make me like it any more or less, but I think I was more aware of the way I was responding to it, and things I was thinking when I would normally just be passively watching. So now I have THOUGHTS.

First and foremost, I want to applaud the trashfire for its incredible use of show and tell. Because there’s a whole bunch that it told us, but there was also a whole bunch that it SHOWED, and sometimes those two things were completely at odds with each other. And I think that’s what’s resonated with me all these years. Because this was a very complicated world that it created, and yet the story it told was remarkably simple. And I found myself fascinated by it.

But GUYS. There was PLOT in this show. There were actual, important storylines that someone wanted to build up to something in future seasons!

The prophecy, first and foremost. Aleena could not reunite with her children until they were ready to become the Council of Four and overthrow Robotnik.

To do this, they had to learn to accept their divine rite (HMPH), but also understand the dangers of forgetting how to be kind and caring rulers.

Their medallions were driven by the Power of Harmony, and within that power was the ability to free people’s minds from whatever destructive force held it.

They needed to gather allies to defeat Robotnik, of which Knuckles was only the first of many. (Supposedly there was a French comic that continued this plot, but it died a quick death, from all reports)

There were two pendants that had both been split in two and hidden in distant lands. One had a map, the other gave Sonia the power to see what Robotnik was doing. The implication is that there would be at least two more.

Did they do any of this well? Hell no! But were they there? Hell yes, and I have Many Thoughts about how one could reboot this series to build them properly. Though I would lose the allies thread, and depending on Sega mandates, maybe swap it for a story about Sonic being destined for more than the crown. Because I like my Echidna Prophecies.

I’m shouting into the void, as I do, but if anyone is still reading and would be interested, hit me up on an ask and I will happily give you random character arcs and episode synopses that are whirling in my head.

But outside all that, I have some other thoughts:

It’s still a trashfire that I cannot defend, but dammit if someone didn’t care about this show.

I cannot emphasis this enough. Someone, somewhere, cared about this show and wanted it to be something. They didn’t succeed, but damn it did they try. There was no getting away from how cheap this show was, and how many sacrifices were made in the name of… well, what do I know they were made in the name of?

Because here’s the thing: I wasn’t there when it was made. None of us were. I joke and make statements about how this show was a quick cash grab, because that’s what it looks and feels like, but for all I know, this was someone’s first but legitimate attempt at making a new IP from the Sonic franchise. And yeah, they failed. They screwed up a lot. But I remind you that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, as we currently know them, began life as a marketing strategy because no one could sell toys based on a gritty black and white Daredevil parody comic, and after the first season, SOMEONE cared enough to push for a second. And I bet there are plenty of badly aged episodes from that cartoon too.

It's poorly edited, messily written, and terribly paced, but there was something in it. And that something is worth celebrating.

I could have liked Sonia, if only.

Watching it this time, I wanted SO BADLY to like Sonia. And I can see exactly how I could have, with just… -gestures vaguely-

The problem I have with Sonia is that she is just immediately amazing. At everything. She goes from being a stuck up, sheltered aristocrat to the best Freedom Fighter in the Resistance without blinking, and the only reminder that she was ever anything else is that she’s a snob that likes girly things like fashion and makeup.

In the reboot (HAH), I would want to see her have to learn. I want to see her shoot for the first time and think it's easy, but then see her get shot AT, and see her panic. I want to see her sit in a strategy meeting, but then go out into the field and see someone get hurt because of an order she gave. I want to see her realise that not everyone lives like she used to, and that she WAS pampered, and she WAS spoiled, and she DIDN’T deserve everything she had – she was just LUCKY. I want to see her have a proper breakdown over Lady Windemere because robotocisation isn’t supposed to happen to good people. And I want that to be what spurs her into being a leader in the Resistance.

THEN I can handle her being the best at everything, and being so righteous with Bartleby, and smug with the boys. She needs to earn her skill, and she just didn’t.

Holy crap, MANIC. Just… MANIC.

I can recognise now that I liked what I was told Manic was, and what he could have been, more than the character he ended up being. Manic is supposed to be so complex and emotional, but they frankly didn’t have the time or possibly age rating to get into it, so he’s just…

He’s an eternal victim, but he’s also an eternal problem. He’s in over his head, and no one seems to notice except Sonic, who (in this series) doesn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with that properly. So I watched him this time with deep, tolerant breaths, thinking of young teenage boys that think they need to be tough or cool and don’t actually know how.

In the reboot (HAH), I’d want more time spent digging into that. I want him to get in over his head, I want that to be a problem multiple times, I want him to get mad about it and blame everyone else, I want him to rebel and hurt someone, badly, and for everyone, including him, to be horrified, and I want him to have to grow up and take the responsibility to make it better.

I want him to represent the people of Mobius, who turned their backs on the queen that wasn’t supporting them, only to find out they’d dug their own graves in doing so. And I want them all to get better.

The counters. I told you I’d explain them.

So when I think back on Sonic Underground, I often think of things that kind of annoyed me. Like Sonia’s love life. But as we can see from the counters, her love life doesn’t actually come up that often! BUT the fact that she has three (and a half – I’m still not counting Raphie) love interests in forty episodes, while Manic shows vague interest in one girl and one female robot, and the closest Sonic comes to ANY interest is some general campy behaviour that may actually just be his French animation showing is pretty significant.

Now, I’m showing my cards here, but I get very tired of romantic subplots in non-romance focussed shows these days. If they don’t contribute to the character’s story, I find it annoying and distracting. So in my reboot fantasy, I want to emphasise the Bartleby relationship, and get rid of EVERY. OTHER. LOVE INTEREST. Except maybe the fuccboi because I COULD MAKE SOMETHING OF THAT STORYLINE for the purposes of her character growth. But none of them (and especially not Knuckles) added to Sonia’s character, so it just felt like it was there because Girls Grow With Love, teehee, and screw you fiction tropes. I and every other little girl deserve better.

 The other thing that I remember is the inconsistent skills. Sonia has superstrength in (arguably – I was being pretty generous sometimes) in FOUR episodes. Of FORTY. WHY HAVE IT AT ALL? And Manic’s ability to pick locks or steal – it was more problematic than it was helpful, so why occasionally imply that he has ‘the magic touch’? And even Sonic! Can he take on a squadron of SWATbots single-handedly, or is Sleet looming over him an actual threat?

I was counting them because these were things that stuck with me, but when you actually count them up, they take up SO LITTLE of the story and the characters. It goes to show how quickly annoyances can overtake a narrative.

Sonic Underground was quietly and inconsistently beautiful

It was in its set pieces. It was in its character concepts. It was in its world building. Its opening scenes. Its bittersweet ends. Its side characters, who had so much depth and life outside of the main characters. It was in the heavily reality of its darkest moments, and the simple sweetness of its quiet ones.

Cyrus and his father. Manic and Sonic laughing as they played together. Sonic and Sonia exchanging glances with actual meaning. The birds that continued to fly in Robotropolis. Sleet and Dingo’s uneasy partnership, built on mutual goals and joined fear. Aleena’s irrational but all-consuming love, and her anger that echoed in two-sentence monologues.

This show had moments. And those moments have stuck with me. They will continue to stick with me.

There was beauty in this terrible show.

I can see Sonic growing from this show.

This is going to sound really weird, because on the surface, the character we see in Sonic Underground is almost unrecognisable from the character we see in contemporary games. There are flashes of him in Boom, and Lost World (nostalgia characterisation woo), but generally, he seems so different.

Until you dig in.

The more I think about Sonic as he is in Sonic Underground – about his situation, about the world he grew up in, about the relationships he has. The more I think about these things, the more I can see the tension and frustration and fear. And then I think about those things, and I compare them to the Sonic we know, who is free, and independent, and has friends he can trust to handle themselves…

I think about how hard that difference is.

And I know exactly where The Lost Prince came from.

And I know where I want it to end.

So if you’re interested… I mean, I have SO MANY reports I actually have to write, rather than spending time on fanfic, but… yeah, I think I’ll be finishing those last chapters this year. I hope to see you there.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

A Vigilant Eye

Pairing: Éomer and his OC wife Mereliss (That translates roughly to “famously kind”. There’s more about her here, where she first appeared in the form of the “reader” character.)

Summary: Our king of Rohan stubbornly refuses to acknowledge a riding injury, but his wife is not going to let him get away that. This is as close to anything smutty as I’ll ever write—that is to say, it’s not really smutty at all in the actual sense, but it’s headed that way and you’re certainly free to imagine where it goes from here!

“Have you not earned yourself a break? I don’t think you’ve moved from that desk since I left here hours ago.”

Mereliss looked up from a stack of papers to see Éomer standing in the bedroom doorway, leaning against the frame and watching her with a wry smile on his face.

“I could ask something similar of you, as you have spent all of those same hours on your feet dealing with one problem or another.” She dropped her pen on the desk and leaned back to stretch. “Are you finished for the day?”

“Unfortunately, no.” He walked over to plant a quick kiss on the top of his wife’s head. “I have only a few minutes to change my boots before Hildred and I are due to inspect the new earthworks outside the main gate.”

He went to collect his riding boots from the closet, and as he walked she took note of the small hitch in his step that had been developing over the past few weeks. He would never admit to being in pain–it was against his nature to be perceived as complaining, no matter how legitimate the reason–and so far the effect was subtle enough to escape the eye of a casual observer. But Mereliss’s attention was far from casual when it came to Éomer. She knew every inch of his body better than she knew her own, and she watched over his health and well being with the vigilance of one who protects a priceless treasure. She had asked him about this slight limp two weeks ago, and he insisted that it would go away soon. But, if anything, it seemed to her a little worse now. She stood and followed him across the room.

“I cannot help but notice that your hip still troubles you. You spend so much time in the saddle, perhaps you should take a few days’ break from riding and allow it some rest.”

He scoffed. “There is nothing wrong with my hip, and certainly nothing that would make me unable to carry out my duties.”

He grabbed a pair of boots and moved toward a chair to put them on, but she stepped into his path and blocked his way.

“I never said that you were unable to carry out your duties. I am merely proposing that a short period of rest might help you to see to those duties more comfortably in the days ahead.”

He attempted to step around her, but she moved sideways in tandem with him. When a second step also failed to circumvent her, he frowned.

“I am comfortable enough already.”

“The way that you walk suggests otherwise. And if you do not take better care of yourself, it will only continue to get worse with time.”

He blew out a frustrated breath and raked his hair out of his face. “As I have told you before, it is nothing to be overly concerned about.” He put a hand on her shoulder and looked directly into her eyes. “You needn’t worry about me. I promise.”

She arched an eyebrow. His stubbornness was legendary, but she had learned her own counter maneuvers over the years. She could be very persuasive when she set her mind to it, and she had no intention of letting this particular issue go.

She pulled his hand from her shoulder and wrapped it around her waist instead, pressing in close to him and running her own hand up his spine to the nape of his neck. He inhaled sharply.

“Very well,” she said. “But if you refuse my advice to rest your hip for the day, then surely you would not also deny me just a few moments to attend to it myself?” Standing on her toes, she brushed her lips lightly across his and looked up at him plaintively from beneath her lashes.

He laughed, almost a nervous giggle. “Mereliss, I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. I have many things still to do this afternoon.”

“Of course you do,” she murmured. “So do I. Just say the word, then, and I’ll step aside and we will both go about our business. Or…”. She snaked her free hand down and pulled the riding boots from his grip, dropping them to the floor with a thud. “You could stay here for a few more minutes and allow me to help you feel better.” The hand trailed slowly back up the inside of his leg.

“Mere, Hildred is expecting me.” Even as he protested, he leaned down to nestle his chin into the crook of her neck, breathing in the sweet floral scent of her hair. “He is waiting as we speak.”

“Oh, that is no cause for concern.” She pulled his shirt from his waistband and slid her hand underneath the fabric and onto his bare skin. “If I know Hildred, he is happily chatting up whatever woman happens to be nearby, and he’ll be glad for the extra time.” She pushed forward, her body against his chest and thighs propelling him backward step by step until his legs made contact with the edge of their bed. “Besides, it will ease my heart to lessen your pain, and a little tardiness can be forgiven if it is necessary to please your wife. Don’t you agree?” She pressed her lips to his jaw, to the dimple on his right cheek, to the corner of his mouth.

He turned his head ever so slightly to meet her lips, and she knew then that she had succeeded and he would do anything that she asked of him. Breaking their kiss, she grabbed his waist with both hands and slowly turned him around. “Lay face down for me,” she whispered into his ear. He looked over his shoulder at her, one heavy brow drawn up in surprise, but she shook her head. “Just do as I ask.”

He climbed onto the bed, face down, and she clambered up after him, shifting her skirt so that she could sit astride the back of his thighs.

“Mereliss, what are you—”. His question was cut short by the deep, guttural moan that escaped his lips as soon as she sank her fingers into the muscles around his left hip.

“Now is that a good moan, or a bad moan?” She already knew the answer, but she would enjoy hearing it nonetheless.

“It’s good,” came the muffled reply, his face buried in the mattress while his hands clung tightly to fistfuls of the sheets. “Very good.”

She smiled and set about working her way methodically through all of the tense, rigid muscles in his hip and lower back, alternating between light circular motions and smooth, deep arcs. The more she worked, the more she felt the rigidity start to give way until eventually the whole area was soft and pliant beneath her fingertips and his occasional grunts or groans sounded less of desperately needed relief and more of contented enjoyment.

When she was at last satisfied that he would be able to walk and ride that day with little or no pain, she lay forward onto his back and tucked her chin over his shoulder. “Éomer King, you are released now from my care and may go about your duties for the rest of the day as needed.”

He turned his head to look at her from the corner of his eye. “You know, it’s very strange, but all of the sudden I can’t seem to recall any duties.” He reached an arm back and put a hand on her leg.

“Oh, allow me to refresh your memory. Hildred is waiting for you to go to the earthworks.” Smirking, she put her hand atop his and moved it further up her thigh. “You’re already late.”

A low rumble came from his chest, and he suddenly rolled beneath her. In an instant, they had somehow reversed positions, and she was on her back below him, the weight of his body pressing her down into the soft sheets. He tucked a few curls behind her ear and smiled at her. “Well, fortunately, a very wise woman once told me that a little tardiness can be forgiven if it is necessary to please my wife.”

[presidenthades]

I am doing very minor revisions of Daemon’s Handbook (mostly formatting and continuity errors), and I wanted to do some behind-the-scenes commentary before too much time passes and I forget my original thoughts. Here’s Chapter 6!

(Note that these commentaries aren’t canon to the verse until/unless the author writes them into the series. I might change my mind on a few points later, but these are the thoughts I had while writing.)

This was the first chapter that really made me worry about tonal shift in this story. We get into some more serious topics than usual, but it was necessary to address them in a somewhat serious manner. But I wanted to make sure the fic stayed in the comedy category. So I ended up doing a sandwich method with funnier bits at the beginning and end, and keeping the serious drama concentrated in the middle. But I also tried to weave in Daemon’s sassy mental commentary etc. to prevent things from getting too heavy.

During the course of this fic, Daemon /thinks about cutting/threatens to cut off at least 5 of Aegon’s body parts. Three of those incidents happen in this chapter alone.

I spent A LOT of time thinking about the Hightowers’ reaction to the elopement, because I admittedly did not plan it well when I started the fic. In the show, Alicent hated the Jace/Helaena match because Jace is a bastard and Alicent would have to sacrifice her daughter as a potential hostage. In this verse, it’s the other way around with Jace as the daughter, and legitimate to boot, so Alicent doesn’t have much to object to. On the contrary, I think Alicent *likes* Jace in this verse because Jace is very well-behaved and is a good influence on Aegon. If Alicent disapproves of the elopement, it’s because elopements are scandalous and, more importantly, it makes Helaena look bad as Aegon’s original betrothed. Thankfully, Helaena is a huge Jacegon shipper and totally not offended.

Otto’s reaction was pretty straightforward once I thought about it. In the show, he suggested betrothing Rhaenyra and Aegon, which would have united their claims and prevented bloodshed (one hopes) while getting his blood on the throne eventually. The Jacegon match does the same thing one generation later. And in the worst case scenario, the Greens have Jace as a hostage since usually the wife moves in with her husband’s family (one of the reasons Daemon hates the match).

Someone in a discord server suggested that maybe Otto planted the idea of elopement in Aegon’s head (they were of the opinion that Otto would be the #1 Jacegon shipper in this verse), which would be *hilarious*, but I haven’t decided if that actually makes sense. But if I could somehow make it work, that would be fantastic lol (Can you imagine Otto yelling at Aegon “just seduce the girl, dammit” 😂😂😂)

Rhaenyra is the one who has reasons to protest the match because, as she says in the chapter, she thinks Aegon would be a bad husband. She’s also been dealing with Otto’s attempts to betroth Jacegon since Jace was born, so she is kind of tired and wary of it whenever it’s mentioned. She knows Jace likes Aegon, but she thinks it’s a “good girl crushing on a bad boy” thing that Jace will grow out of. (I’m imagining a crushing conversation where Rhaenyra explains to 6-year-old Jace why she can’t marry Aegon 😢)

And Viserys makes things worse, as always, by betrothing Aegon and Helaena, which makes zero people happy. Viserys was supportive of the Jacegon match when the Hightowers proposed it, but Rhaenyra objected so he didn’t press the issue. (It’s not like he’s the king or anything, right?)

Btw I forgot that Viserys loses his hand sometime before Ep 6, so in this verse, we’re going to pretend he decays less slowly and still has both hands because he’s less stressed or something.

The image of burrito!Rhaenyra strapped to Dreamfyre makes me giggle. She’s determined to be in King’s Landing for whatever conversation happens about Jace, but she’s postpartum so she can’t sit on Syrax as usual, then Helaena offers to take her on Dreamfyre if the Dragonkeepers can make what is essentially an adult car seat. Rhaenyra is pretty helpless in this position, literally strapped in behind Helaena, so I imagine there had to be a good deal of trust between the half-sisters here. It helps that Helaena is close to Rhaenyra’s daughters in this verse so Rhaenyra knows her better.

Daemon and Rhaenyra’s vocal objections to Aegon’s character really make an impact on Aegon. I was strongly influenced by a Tom Glynn-Carney interview where he described Aegon as “desperate to be loved but destined to be hated.” In this verse, Aegon finds that Jace fills that need to be loved but he isn’t sure he deserves that love, so Daemon and Rhaenyra’s arguments unwittingly strike very close to home. And that’s why he does the something stupid later in the chapter, so he can prove he’s worthy.

I was so excited to make my joke about Lannisters shitting gold that I forgot Lord Beesbury is still master of coin while Tyland is master of ships. So I retconned Beesbury into retirement and promoted Tyland. My bad.

Jace and Rhaenyra have a loud, healthy, mother-daughter argument this chapter, which Daemon conveniently sleeps through. While Jace is at Driftmark, she learns more about Rhaenyra’s youthful misadventures, and Jace still has *feelings* about the Daemyra elopement (which was only 9 months before this chapter), so this leads to Jace feeling some complicated resentment toward her mother. But they work it out.

This is the last chapter where Aegon and Aemond are afraid of Daemon. Starting in Chapter 7, after they come back from the Stepstones, they’re much less intimidated by him. Poor Daemon, he can’t even have the simple pleasure of terrifying his nephews. 😔

Another retcon: Helaena’s prophecy this chapter originally said “Gold and bronze.” I was trying to refer to Sunfyre and Vhagar but the show is too damn dark for me to see what color Vhagar is, so I honestly thought she was some kind of brown/bronze, and the fandom wiki wasn’t super clear either. Then I read a HOTD behind-the-scenes book that describes Vhagar as jade so I went with that. My bad (again).

I just want to say that one of my favorite sentences I have EVER written was in this chapter. “The queen…wore a smile so tight that it could probably garrote a man.” 🖤

Aegon’s spiel about a boy becoming a man when “he has seen his own blood flow and heard his teeth crunch under the blow of an opponent” is based on a quote by a 12th-century chronicler named Roger of Howden.

When Aemond shows up in the garden in the final scene, Viserys honestly forgets his name at first. Dad of the year, y’all 😭

Chapter 7 commentary here

[outlawssweetheart]

Lana sounds like a freaking disaster of a person (I love that) 😭😂

Could you spare more info about her ? Or just about the Black family as a whole ? 👀

Like, Skarlet's and Erron's reaction when they learnt they would be parents, how they raised their daughters and did they raise them in Outworld ? Do the sisters get along ? How would Erron react to his little princess joining the BD ? 🤭

Also since you always insist that Skarlet would love Lana Del Rey, did she name her daughter after her after finding out about her or is it just a personal reference?

AHHHHHH, THANK YOU FOR THIS!! I love yapping about my OCs! 🤗

So, I'll start with her name. She is partly named in honor of Lana Del Rey, though not by Skarlet. By me. Sit back because it's a long story.

During the summer of 2021 (my first year as an MK girlie), I started developing an original story to just help myself write; it was supposed to be kinda dumb and was/is basically an MK fanfic, just to get me comfortable writing, but it ended up quickly becoming a legitimate story. So, I made a character who was my idea of a Skarron baby, and since Skarlet's voice actor is Polish, I just made this character's mom Polish. So, I decided to give her a Polish name, and I saw Lana listed. I thought "Lana Del Rey..." But I also thought of a Twitch streamer Viviana who had a GTA character named Lana Valentine, a messy bad bitch. (I watched her a lot back then, but she sadly doesn't stream anymore from what I've seen. 🥺) So, I named her in honor of both Lana Del Rey and Lana Valentine. 💅🏽

Their first child/daughter is named Elizabeth. Erron chose that name. (I Googled common names in the Old West.) He calls her "Lizzie" most of the time.

When they first learned they were expecting, Skarlet was very happy about it. Erron... was less happy, but he dealt with it and tried to be supportive, but supportive isn't his strong suit.

When Lizzie was born, he was afraid to hold her. (That familial trauma of his hit hard.) Skarlet had to practically force him to hold his daughter. Once he did, everything changed. He became a Dad™️.

I like to think they raised the girls in Earthrealm. Give them a chance at a normal-ish life. Though I suppose they'd probably still do some kind of dangerous jobs for income because that's what they know, and it's what they do best. (And Erron would lose his mind without some "thrills" at least every once in a while. 🙄)

The girls get along well enough. They love each other very much, but Lana is so damn ANNOYING that poor Lizzie can't stand her 47% of the time! 😩

Elizabeth is honestly chill. She's the normal one in the family. She's a social media girlie/wannabe Instagram influencer. She's honestly so boring, and I kind of love that for her.

Erron would literally attempt to murder Kano if Lana joined the Black Dragon. So would Skarlet. I just can't see it working out. And she loves her parents so much that she would just have to find something else to do.

Skarlet & Erron are definitely the weird parents who talk about their past shenanigans in front of the girls' friends, unsettling the poor kids.

If they live in Earthrealm, then they live in Texas! Somewhere like Austin, probably. Erron would only step foot back in Wickett to visit his sister and her family. (She has 2 or 3 kids of her own.)

Skarlet is so overprotective of her girls! Like, overbearingly so. Lana can't stand it, and Erron (free bird that he is) thinks she needs to "let up on" them.

I think that's all I have for now. 🫶🏽

(Lana Black, for those who don't know her, for context.)

[alwri-tes]

Hello, @alwri-tes ! 👋

Congratulations on self-publishing 2 novels! That’s a tremendous achievement! ✨

What got you into writing? Do you enjoy it as more of a profession, or a hobby? Were there any mediums that inspired you to take up the creative journey? 💫

Hello!

Thank you!

I don't think there was ever a moment where I specifically "got into" writing-I was a very imaginative child, and from the age of nine, if not earlier, I would make up stories in my head and sometimes write them down in notebooks. If we're talking about beginning to take creative writing seriously and as a legitimate endeavor, then I think that was when I was about thirteen, when I attempted to write my first novel over the course of a summer. It was one long story broken up into three separate parts, a trilogy of sorts I guess. I completed the first part (It was around 15 pages iirc) and felt immensely accomplished. But for a variety of reasons I never completed the second or third parts and eventually abandoned it. Though I might return to that idea one day, who knows. I was actually thinking about it for the first time in years the other day.

In a weird twist of irony, the first book I published was one I had not started with the intent of writing a novel. It was a quarantine project that I took up to distract myself from the world crumbling in 2020, and it just grew and grew and grew from there.

To answer your second question, I currently see writing a bit more of a profession than a hobby, especially since I now get real life money from book sales. The monetary aspect of it has definitely changed how I view it. I don't write with the intent of making money-I write with the intent of creating something-but now that the self-publishing and selling process is something I have to consider, I now think things like how long or short should this be? and I need to force myself to write to stay on top of it so I can sell this sooner.

There are a lot of mediums that have inspired me over the years. Books (obviously). But also television and movies, particularly animated ones. I've loved animation my whole life, and it's been a long time wish of mine to be able to animate my stories, but I find that writing them is a better fit.

[edwinspaynes]

Matthew, Alastair, and the Self vs the Other

I cannot for the life of me understand how people justify hating either Matthew or Alastair on behalf of the other. Like. Both of these characters are so beloved to me. They're easily two of my favourite fictional characters, and I'm not just talking about in TSC. I adore them, and I adore their complexities. As such, I feel that I am the appropriate person to write this essay.

(You can also expect another essay in the coming week that juxtaposes Matthew and Alastair's storylines as literary foils. The aim of this essay is not to understand their written characters, but to understand their dynamic as human beings).

Listen.

Shadowhunter Academy

At the Academy, Alastair behaved in a pretty homophobic way to Matthew, who was visibly not straight (and proud of it). It's worth noting that Alastair began the conflict here, with these statements. The stuff about Wilde being indecent was their first encounter, and he 100% perpetuated it again later with "what a fine wife you'll make for someone one of these days." The impact of this hurts Matthew regardless of the fact that Alastair was also gay. Matthew didn't know this at the time, and even if he had, it would have been unfair for Alastair to turn his own internalized homophobia on Matthew.

However, Alastair's statements are also understandable. Being gay in the late 1800s wasn't a walk in the park, and Alastair was likely having it consistently reinforced as shameful by Charles at this point. He was 15. He also was very clearly following the Wilde trials, which would have been terrifying for him.

Matthew is also a defensive person, and James was being consistently bullied by Alastair. I understand him coming to the defense of his friend. I get that. But he did, in the end, come at Alastair WAY too hard when he said that his father didn't love him. It's worth noting that Matthew didn't know the situation between Alastair and Elias, and he just groped around for fodder and accidentally hit something that hurt. But, like the Wilde stuff, that doesn't matter. The impact on Alastair was real and painful.

Onto the rumor stuff, the things that Alastair said about Gideon and Charlotte were inexcusable. Place this in a historical context. Charlotte is a woman, and one who's constantly questioned in her position of power. This rumor could have legitimately ruined her and the entire Fairchild family. I do not believe Alastair thought this through, but once again, the impact was there. This is a theme throughout their relationship.

Alastair, who is obviously extremely traumatized, was completely in the wrong for saying those things. 0 argument.

Matthew, who is obviously very mentally ill, was VERY MUCH in the wrong to blow up Alastair's things. 0 argument.

There's also an argument to be made that Alastair had no choice but to be a bully. I believe this. I fully understand him. He DID have no choice, and he deserves sympathy and compassion and forgiveness. I believe this unequivocally. No child- no human- deserves to be subject to the abuse that Alastair was at home and at school, and no 13-15 year old would have made a different choice.

But, at the same time, Alastair did not have to hit Matthew where it hurt like that. He could have stuck to the way he bullied Thomas, with periodic cutting barbs. That's also true.

Matthew's Great Sin

Fast forward a couple of years.

The only person to blame for Charlotte's miscarriage is Mother Hawthorne, an adult who used Matthew as a tool for attempted assassination. Full stop. The ONLY person. That's my preface.

Alastair is in no way to blame for Charlotte's miscarriage. Like, at all. I'm not even sure that he, to this day, knows what happened. This is indisputable. Alastair is, I would argue, unrelated to the reality of the situation.

Everyone reasonable can see this. Matthew himself is reasonable. Matthew himself knows this and has thought as much:

It was not the faerie woman’s fault, or Alastair’s, or the fault of any other soul. He was the one who had chosen to distrust his mother. He had fed his mother poison with his own hands. He was not a fool. He was a villain.

Of course, I disagree with Matthew's thoughts on Mother Hawthorne. I also disagree with his thoughts on his own culpability, but I'm getting there. My current point is that Matthew knows, immediately, that Alastair is not to blame.

However, the person that he chooses to blame is himself.

Matthew, prior to this event, already had incredibly low self-worth. Two clear examples:

“You may be a waste of space in a waistcoat,” he told Matthew Fairchild, “but at least your waistcoat is fantastic.”

He was sure that if he had not asked James to be parabatai, James would never have thought of asking him.

As a result of this unbearable pain, Alastair becomes something of a scapegoat for Matthew. He hates himself and treats himself poorly; he shoves off some of that self-hate onto Alastair, his literary foil (again, wait for that essay). The alternative is unbearable. In Matthew's eyes, he is a villain, and he needs to make a new villain.

Matthew already has understandable problems with Alastair. Alastair is the one that triggered Matthew's insecurities. Despite having nothing to do with the miscarriage, he makes for a fine scapegoat.

And, over time, Alastair is no longer Alastair to Matthew. Alastair is simply a concept that he has created, flanderized, and made into some untouchable and inhuman evil spectre.

Alastair's Return to London

By the time that Alastair returns to London, Matthew's hate for both himself and for Alastair are solidified. Carved in stone. Matthew is not equipped to face Alastair.

Alastair does not fully understand why Matthew hates him. This is incredibly understandable. There's no other way this could have gone, because Alastair is a person, and he is a person that knows nothing of the conceptual caricature that Matthew has cast him as.

So he apologizes, and he apologizes, and he apologizes. He does everything right, and I would argue that Alastair's in the clear for his past actions by the end of ChoG. (Not to the Thieves, but to a reasonable reader/outsider).

Alastair is, at this point, just some man that the main cast has beef with. He's a good guy. He's done his due diligence and apologized. They should, in both Alastair's mind and many readers', be good now.

Unfortunately, Matthew is not a reasonable reader or outsider. Matthew is a real person who was directly impacted by Alastair's actions at the Academy, which almost certainly led to some of his self-worth problems. He also incorrectly has essentially gaslit himself into thinking that his mother's poisoning is another way that Alastair has victimized him.

At this point, I will say that I personally believe Matthew to be bipolar. If he is not bipolar, he may have borderline personality disorder. This is unconfirmed, but there is a lot of evidence in the text. I could write an essay on this as well as someone who also is bipolar. What he does with Alastair- and later with Cordelia- is something called splitting. A person is either an evil and worthless villain or they are a goddess incarnate (respectively). There is no gray area.

In any case,

To Matthew, Alastair's constant apologies and lack of awareness about the impact he had appear dismissive.

Thomas frowned. “Matthew,” he said, his usually gentle voice remonstrative, “that was the past. It is time for us to be adults and forget childish slights.” “Thomas, you are kind,” said Matthew. “Too kind, and you wish to forget. But I am not kind, and I cannot help but remember.”

Thomas is too forgiving; Alastair has not, in Matthew's mind, sufficiently apologized for the imagined but simultaneously legitimate transgression. He must do so. Alastair must hurt as Matthew has, and he does not consider that he is engaging with an actual human being who only has one friend that he is about to destroy his relationship with.

Note that this is once again consistent with Matthew's characterization as protective of his friends. In his mind, he is saving Thomas from the abusive concept of Alastair. His being incorrect and that image not being an accurate representation of the man himself do not matter to Matthew's motivations.

At this point, though, Alastair is also unfortunately extremely triggered by Matthew's drinking. This is clear in ChoG when Alastair says,

Alastair’s expression went flat. “You think I would be relieved to hear she’s with Matthew? You think I don’t know a drunk when I see one? Believe me, I do. If he puts Cordelia in harm’s way—”

Not great, especially considering that Alastair has spent his entire life trying to protect Cordelia from a drunk:

Because he’s always bloody drunk, Cordelia. The only one of us who didn’t know that is you. [...] I wanted you to have a childhood, a thing I never had. I wanted you to be able to love and respect your father as I never could. [...] Who learned at ten years old to refill the brandy bottles with water each morning so no one would notice the levels had sunk?"

Alastair is correct. This is more than understandable. Matthew is, in that moment, taking Cordelia to a scandalous nightclub; he will, in a few months' time, impulsively run away with Cordelia to another country.

This conflict persists in much the same way throughout Chain of Iron, with Alastair getting more and more irritated that his apologies are going unheard and Matthew getting pissier and pissier that Alastair cannot conceptualize Matthew's rage.

I'll talk more about this in my Literary Foils essay, but:

It is only through self-acceptance that Matthew learns to forgive Alastair and, once again, view him as Alastair the Man rather than Alastair the Concept.

It is only through self-acceptance that Alastair is able to see Matthew as Matthew the Man rather than Matthew the Drunk that reminds him of Elias.

In the end, their budding friendship is only possible because they have done the work to better themselves.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Michael David Cobb Bowen

Published: Dec 21, 2024

Today I came across some interesting material. It was a video that my brother Doc, retired LAPD, got to me from his network of insiders. It seems so long ago, but seeing it fresh four years later is quite the revelation. Today I’m publishing some of the last things I said on my old blog before moving to Substack. You can check it out at Stoic Observations.

From the Archives

Dateline June 2020 Some time ago I wrote My Black Life Doesn't Matter. As the machinations and shenanigans associated with BLM continue to disturb my peace, I think I have come to an appropriate way to describe it. Having come to this realization, I find it entirely consistent with my understanding of coming to grips with an identity one doesn't choose and how the Civil Rights movements of the past are so starkly and fundamentally different from what's going on today.

George Floyd has become a fungible.

He has been press ganged into a parade of celebrity victims by a crowd of activists and their sympathizers. His actual black life has been hounded into a representational dead end. Or to use more commonly bandied about language, he has been culturally appropriated. George Floyd is not his life, he is only his death. What his life might have meant has succumbed to the public acceptance, almost unanimous, about what his death has symbolized. I too, like the family of Floyd, know what it is like to lose a family member suddenly and tragically. I know what that kind of grief and loss feels like. I have experienced this for myself, twice. What I do not know, is what it feels like to have a family member's entire life be overshadowed by a moment of infamy and then converted into an avalanche of political activism. I have not had a family member erased.

On the other hand, I am familiar with the theme. Anyone who has attempted to write, as I have, as a black writer, knows how difficult it is to get your writing recognized as a legitimate and authentic representation of your lived experience. You can call this an economic injustice if that term suits you, because it is clear that the economic power of news organization and political organization and cultural production companies in any medium quite handily overwhelms the truth of any individual writer. Only the writer who is broadly published and becomes famous because of that, is relatively safe from misrepresentation. That safety is under a greater threat than ever in my memory, owing to the cowardice and volume of Cancel Culture and their blue meany alarm-clowns. As much as it is told that diverse voices are being empowered, these are only pigeonholes. They are as common and as generic as rainbow graphics and full [people of] color brochures for liberal arts colleges. Yet it is hard enough to have the actual details of life accurately portrayed in a world where racial stereotypes rule. When I moved from Los Angeles to Brooklyn around the corner from Crown Heights, it was assumed that black Americans all had the same negative connotations of Jews. So I was asked to join certain protests. I never had anything but normal relations with Jews my entire life. When I moved from NY to Atlanta's largely white Cobb County suburbs, it was assumed that I would inherit all of the black culture of Fulton County, largely black. Black diversity, that phrase you never hear, is real but it is always smothered for the premises of black cultural and political unity, and by the liberal confirmation bias that assumes it. That's why it's not part of today's narrative. That's why George Floyd's dead body means so much more than his life. It can't defy the narrative. It generated a perfect storm because it was racially predestined.

When I first got on the net in the early 90s, a close friend of mine said something fundamentally profound. It was that black Americans didn't need and weren't looking for a black leader, it was white people. White people needed a black leader to speak for the masses, someone they could accept or reject and then compare the ideas of the leaders to those black Americans with whom they wished to embrace or denounce. Where do you stand on Khalid Muhammad?, we were asked. Where do you stand on Mumia? What is your opinion on Cornel West? It was as if black America lived in an hermetic universe whose bubble could only be pierced by the Fungibles who communicated with the rest of us at the Wednesday Night Meeting. At the same time, we acknowledged it was true that black Americans were looking for symbols to back up their stories of "I told you so." to anyone who doubted the reality of racism. The dynamic remains. There is a hot market for tales from the hood. I cannot tell you how many breathless inquiries I have received in the vein of "What is the most devastating racist thing that ever happened to you?".

In this inverted world of show and tell, only the bleakest, blackest tragedies are monetized and taken up by the American elites. The short attention span theater of the mainstream media does not have the inclination, time, patience or budget to put more substantive non-fiction into their agendas, certainly nothing that defies the new conventions of multicultural political correctness that floats up from the teaming millions. The common man must be left to his own devices and of consumption, but they are not interested in their reality. If the New York Times survey says X, then the public had better believe it for its own good. All the acceptable alternatives are to be consumed by the first class citizens in the magazines that matter, mostly brought to you by Conde Nast. Perhaps I'm being cynical and shrill. I simply hate drowning in the vanilla fluff of deepest darkest horrors of the 'black lives' that matter. Once upon a time there were celebrated men like Vernon Jordan who got to represent what America could provide to its citizens. Now the examples are the mistreated, maimed, & murdered.

In my writing, I have dealt with just about every one of them. Sean Bell, The Jena Six, Latasha Harlins, Rodney King, Ron Settles, Michael Zinzun, Don Jackson, Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Mumia Abu Jamal, Shaquanda Cotton, and many more that I don't currently have the patience to link to an appropriate post in my archives. Nevertheless I have no problem simply listing them:

Abner Louima

Genarlow Wilson

Dunbar Village

Jonny Gammage

Tyisha Miller

Eric Garner

Tamir Rice

Freddy Gray

Philando Castile

What did they do? How did they live? It doesn't matter. They were crushed, now all we have are their ghosts haunting every newsroom, every political mention of race. They have, in the hands of the priests of the death cult of the New Anti Racists, the only blacks that matter - the dead ones. Nobody is able to celebrate black life in this narrative. It's black death that pays the bills. It's black tragedy that keeps the newsrooms buzzing. It's black dysfunction that keeps people talking and editorializing and coming up with some of the most nonsensical political ideas outside of Lilliput. This game is old, tired and wrong.