#husbands who could get hit by a car and still insist they just need a tylenol

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

A Vigilant Eye

Pairing: Éomer and his OC wife Mereliss (That translates roughly to “famously kind”. There’s more about her here, where she first appeared in the form of the “reader” character.)

Summary: Our king of Rohan stubbornly refuses to acknowledge a riding injury, but his wife is not going to let him get away that. This is as close to anything smutty as I’ll ever write—that is to say, it’s not really smutty at all in the actual sense, but it’s headed that way and you’re certainly free to imagine where it goes from here!

“Have you not earned yourself a break? I don’t think you’ve moved from that desk since I left here hours ago.”

Mereliss looked up from a stack of papers to see Éomer standing in the bedroom doorway, leaning against the frame and watching her with a wry smile on his face.

“I could ask something similar of you, as you have spent all of those same hours on your feet dealing with one problem or another.” She dropped her pen on the desk and leaned back to stretch. “Are you finished for the day?”

“Unfortunately, no.” He walked over to plant a quick kiss on the top of his wife’s head. “I have only a few minutes to change my boots before Hildred and I are due to inspect the new earthworks outside the main gate.”

He went to collect his riding boots from the closet, and as he walked she took note of the small hitch in his step that had been developing over the past few weeks. He would never admit to being in pain–it was against his nature to be perceived as complaining, no matter how legitimate the reason–and so far the effect was subtle enough to escape the eye of a casual observer. But Mereliss’s attention was far from casual when it came to Éomer. She knew every inch of his body better than she knew her own, and she watched over his health and well being with the vigilance of one who protects a priceless treasure. She had asked him about this slight limp two weeks ago, and he insisted that it would go away soon. But, if anything, it seemed to her a little worse now. She stood and followed him across the room.

“I cannot help but notice that your hip still troubles you. You spend so much time in the saddle, perhaps you should take a few days’ break from riding and allow it some rest.”

He scoffed. “There is nothing wrong with my hip, and certainly nothing that would make me unable to carry out my duties.”

He grabbed a pair of boots and moved toward a chair to put them on, but she stepped into his path and blocked his way.

“I never said that you were unable to carry out your duties. I am merely proposing that a short period of rest might help you to see to those duties more comfortably in the days ahead.”

He attempted to step around her, but she moved sideways in tandem with him. When a second step also failed to circumvent her, he frowned.

“I am comfortable enough already.”

“The way that you walk suggests otherwise. And if you do not take better care of yourself, it will only continue to get worse with time.”

He blew out a frustrated breath and raked his hair out of his face. “As I have told you before, it is nothing to be overly concerned about.” He put a hand on her shoulder and looked directly into her eyes. “You needn’t worry about me. I promise.”

She arched an eyebrow. His stubbornness was legendary, but she had learned her own counter maneuvers over the years. She could be very persuasive when she set her mind to it, and she had no intention of letting this particular issue go.

She pulled his hand from her shoulder and wrapped it around her waist instead, pressing in close to him and running her own hand up his spine to the nape of his neck. He inhaled sharply.

“Very well,” she said. “But if you refuse my advice to rest your hip for the day, then surely you would not also deny me just a few moments to attend to it myself?” Standing on her toes, she brushed her lips lightly across his and looked up at him plaintively from beneath her lashes.

He laughed, almost a nervous giggle. “Mereliss, I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. I have many things still to do this afternoon.”

“Of course you do,” she murmured. “So do I. Just say the word, then, and I’ll step aside and we will both go about our business. Or…”. She snaked her free hand down and pulled the riding boots from his grip, dropping them to the floor with a thud. “You could stay here for a few more minutes and allow me to help you feel better.” The hand trailed slowly back up the inside of his leg.

“Mere, Hildred is expecting me.” Even as he protested, he leaned down to nestle his chin into the crook of her neck, breathing in the sweet floral scent of her hair. “He is waiting as we speak.”

“Oh, that is no cause for concern.” She pulled his shirt from his waistband and slid her hand underneath the fabric and onto his bare skin. “If I know Hildred, he is happily chatting up whatever woman happens to be nearby, and he’ll be glad for the extra time.” She pushed forward, her body against his chest and thighs propelling him backward step by step until his legs made contact with the edge of their bed. “Besides, it will ease my heart to lessen your pain, and a little tardiness can be forgiven if it is necessary to please your wife. Don’t you agree?” She pressed her lips to his jaw, to the dimple on his right cheek, to the corner of his mouth.

He turned his head ever so slightly to meet her lips, and she knew then that she had succeeded and he would do anything that she asked of him. Breaking their kiss, she grabbed his waist with both hands and slowly turned him around. “Lay face down for me,” she whispered into his ear. He looked over his shoulder at her, one heavy brow drawn up in surprise, but she shook her head. “Just do as I ask.”

He climbed onto the bed, face down, and she clambered up after him, shifting her skirt so that she could sit astride the back of his thighs.

“Mereliss, what are you—”. His question was cut short by the deep, guttural moan that escaped his lips as soon as she sank her fingers into the muscles around his left hip.

“Now is that a good moan, or a bad moan?” She already knew the answer, but she would enjoy hearing it nonetheless.

“It’s good,” came the muffled reply, his face buried in the mattress while his hands clung tightly to fistfuls of the sheets. “Very good.”

She smiled and set about working her way methodically through all of the tense, rigid muscles in his hip and lower back, alternating between light circular motions and smooth, deep arcs. The more she worked, the more she felt the rigidity start to give way until eventually the whole area was soft and pliant beneath her fingertips and his occasional grunts or groans sounded less of desperately needed relief and more of contented enjoyment.

When she was at last satisfied that he would be able to walk and ride that day with little or no pain, she lay forward onto his back and tucked her chin over his shoulder. “Éomer King, you are released now from my care and may go about your duties for the rest of the day as needed.”

He turned his head to look at her from the corner of his eye. “You know, it’s very strange, but all of the sudden I can’t seem to recall any duties.” He reached an arm back and put a hand on her leg.

“Oh, allow me to refresh your memory. Hildred is waiting for you to go to the earthworks.” Smirking, she put her hand atop his and moved it further up her thigh. “You’re already late.”

A low rumble came from his chest, and he suddenly rolled beneath her. In an instant, they had somehow reversed positions, and she was on her back below him, the weight of his body pressing her down into the soft sheets. He tucked a few curls behind her ear and smiled at her. “Well, fortunately, a very wise woman once told me that a little tardiness can be forgiven if it is necessary to please my wife.”

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 13 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Confronting Kevin in California should have made Anna feel like she had the advantage, but nothing with him ever went to plan. As soon as Bob encounters Anna's husband for himself, he knows something isn't quite right.

Warnings: Angst, Kevin is a dick, bruises on Anna's arm, adult language, 18+

Length: 4300 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!

"Did you delete her number yet?" Nat asked as she lifted her helmet and Bob's off of the shelf in the hangar where their gear was stored when they weren't flying. "Or are you trying to prolong the pain like some sort of sadistic artist?"

Bob flinched at her words, because she hit a little too close to home for his liking. It wasn't that he wanted to be missing Anna like this, but he had been writing a lot of poetry about her. He couldn't help himself. He hadn't posted any since the one about his bookshelf, but that didn't mean his computer wasn't full of it.

"I'm not trying to prolong the pain," he told his friend with a grimace. "I don't know what I'm doing."

She shoved his helmet down onto his head and told him, "I know she threw you for a loop, but either delete her number or give her another chance. Don't sit in this annoying gray area. I don't know why you guys insist on doing that shit. I tried for ten years to get Bradley to contact his wife, but he just flounced around in the gray area like an idiot instead. Don't be like him," she said firmly, pointing to where Bradley was looking down at his phone with a dopey smile on his face. He was almost definitely texting his wife if he looked like that.

Bob sighed. "Nat, I don't know if she wants me to give her another chance right now. She said she's going to deal with her husband, but I think she needs time."

Nat rolled her eyes and held her hands up in the air. "Why don't you," she said, waving her fingers like she was performing magic, "talk to her again?!"

Bob pulled his helmet off again, saying, "What would you suggest I say? She already knows I've had feelings for her for months. There's just a point where it becomes too much."

"You could tell her that even though it blew up in your face, she's the best lay of your life." Bob immediately wished he hadn't told her that. "Or that you'll still be around after she figures her shit out. I think the ball is in your court."

He was still blushing furiously and nowhere closer to knowing what he should be doing when they all got called to the tower, but he did smile when Nat snapped at Bradley to put his phone away. She probably needed to get laid more than Bob ever did.

---------------------------

The bus ride from San Diego to Carlsbad shouldn't take an hour and a half when it would take barely forty minutes to drive yourself. Not for the first time, Anna wished she had a car in California. That way she could get to Kevin faster. Kevin. Fucking Kevin. The man who was the reason she didn't have a car in California.

She needed to stay calm. If she could catch him while his guard was down and convince him to just sign the paperwork, she would be golden. But every time she thought about seeing his face, she started to panic. She had seen nothing except kind faces for months. The faces of her friends. The faces of her students. Bob's beautiful blue eyes always seemed to look at her with a smile behind them. Even now, after she met up with him for a little bit at the bookstore, his eyes were kind.

Her hands shook slightly. She needed to deal with Kevin so she could move on and never have to see him again. Then she could work on getting back to the people who didn't look at her like she was worthless. When the bus finally fought its way through traffic and made a stop near the hotel where the conference was being held, she sprinted down the steps and up the block. She had already memorized the map and knew she needed to find the grand ballroom, but when she got to the upscale hotel, she was sweaty and panting for breath, and even the doorman was looking at her skeptically as she slipped inside.

The lobby was crowded enough that she padded her way across the marble floor in her beat up sneakers, blending in well enough with the others. Signs for the National Neurological Physicians Association conference were plastered all over the place, and she had to keep from rolling her eyes. It was laughable that physicians from all over would come here to listen to Kevin blathering on and on about his specialty area of study. But when Anna paused to really think about it for a second, something close to cold fury started flowing through her veins, because she was the one who paid for that for him. She was the reason he was a speaker at this massive conference in the first place.

With renewed purpose, she picked up her pace and turned right past the elevator bank, following the signs that led her toward several people in monogrammed lab coats. The ballroom was in sight, and she was ready to push through the double doors when one of the men in a lab coat popped up in front of her. 

"Not so fast," he said, a forced smile plastered on his face. "You're late for the introductory speakers, and you haven't signed in yet."

"Oh," she said, scrambling to push her bag up on her shoulder. "Right." When he gestured toward a long table with some unclaimed name badges and information booklets, Anna's heart skipped a beat. She took a step closer, praying nobody would ask her for any sort of identification, and reached for the badge that said Dr. Angela Harmon, MD. She clipped it onto her shirt, realizing she was terribly under dressed to even try to pull this off, and then she picked up the booklet with Dr. Harmon's name on it as well. "Is this all I need?" she asked, tapping the name badge and praying this random woman didn't decide to show up right now.

With a nod, the man said, "Please try to find a seat at the back to keep disruption to a minimum. I believe Dr. Webber is still speaking, and you know how excited we all are to have him here."

Anna had to bite down on the inside of her cheek and take a deep breath before she could say, "So excited," through clenched teeth. "I wouldn't dream of being disruptive."

"Of course not," he agreed, finally smiling kindly. "Enjoy the conference, Dr. Harmon."

Carefully and as quietly as she could, Anna entered the ballroom to find hundreds of people sitting in rows of chairs listening to her worthless husband giving a presentation in a three piece suit. 

"But we already know recent attempts to update computational axial tomography are largely like someone trying to reinvent the wheel," he said with a charming smile, and the room hummed with amused laughter like everyone was in on some sort of inside joke. Anna's skin crawled as she carefully took a seat in the last row, praying Kevin hadn't seen her yet. If he was this well known and well regarded in his field, then he didn't need money from her manuscript. He was simply holding onto it to be an ass.

She had to listen to him for twenty more minutes after that. Nineteen too long in her book. His voice sounded light and carefree, and his smile was handsome and unassuming. Frankly he was putting on some sort of persona, and it was nothing like she was used to. But it wasn't until he started on a short presentation that Anna's attention was piqued, because it was then that she saw he was using the laptop that they used to share. The one she used to type up her book.

A soft sound escaped her as she stared longingly at it, wondering if her work was still there. He slammed the computer shut, and she was jolted back to reality as he said, "Once again, thank you all for being here for the next week. We have so many groundbreaking topics to learn about and some of the most renowned research physicians in the country sharing their expertise with us. Let's take a quick break and then dive right into new MRI techniques with Dr. Nunez."

There was an immediate round of applause, and Anna jumped to her feet, heart pounding so hard, it was making her nauseous. When she headed toward his cocky, smiling face, she realized Kevin was already surrounded by colleagues, shaking hands and laughing. And that was when he spotted her. They'd been on the phone just a handful of hours ago, but he looked shocked to see her here. She watched his sharp, gray eyes narrow in on her with a spiteful glare before he smoothed out his features into something neutral. And that's when she came to terms with the fact that he would know she was living in southern California. That's when she knew she needed to make this work.

"Anna," he said with absolutely no emotion as she cut in front of the person he was talking to. "What are you doing here?"

She swallowed hard, imagining Bob and her two friends were with her, urging her on, cheering for her to fix this. "I have something for you to sign," she told him as her voice shook. She took a step closer as she reached into her bag to pull out the folded paperwork and a pen.

"No," he practically growled under his breath, trying not to draw more attention to himself. "Why are you doing this here? I'm a little busy."

Anna wanted to laugh in his face. She was a little busy trying to get on with her stupid life, but that didn't stop him from disrupting her mission every day. "Just sign the divorce papers, Kevin," she demanded, but she sounded like a child even to her own ears. His eyes flashed with so much anger, she could barely breathe with him this close to her. He was built similarly to Bob, which was a frightening realization. Where Kevin always used his size as an intimidation tactic, Bob had never done that to her. She always felt safe around him. Right now she felt very unsafe around Kevin, even though they were literally in the midst of a crowd of people.

"Just sign it," she whispered, trying to push the document into his solid chest. It was unbelievable that at one time, she was in love with this man. It was crazy to think about how he used to tell her he loved her too. "Please, Kevin." He looked so angry right now, and Anna felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up in fear as the people behind her started whispering.

"Who is this woman? That's not Alyssa."

"Did she say divorce? Isn't he married to that other physician? The pregnant one?"

So Alyssa was pregnant. And nobody here even knew about Anna. It was like she didn't even exist. Like she had never existed to her husband. A mortifying little sob bubbled free from the back of her throat, and she looked up at Kevin as he said, "Let's take a little walk."

His hand closed around her bicep, and Anna wanted to yelp as he pulled her up onto the stage, past the podium, where nobody else would be able to hear them. The laptop was right there, and she considered trying to take it, but she'd never make it out of the hotel let alone back to her apartment with it. Instead she tripped along next to him until he had her where he wanted her.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he snarled. "Were you always this stupid? Or have you gotten worse?"

"Come on, Kevin," she pleaded, and he finally released her throbbing arm. "You don't need it. Look how well you're doing. You don't need my book."

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair as if he was trying his hardest to keep his composure. "You think you can come here and embarrass me in front of my peers? Mentioning our marriage like we still have one when you moved away?"

Her fist clenched at her side. "Our marriage didn't fall apart because I left," she hissed under her breath. "It fell apart because of you. And now your mistress is pregnant?"

Kevin sighed. "I understand that you're jealous, Anna. I really do, but I'm not signing anything for you."

She clenched and unclenched her fist. The desire to punch him in the face was so strong as her other hand shook with the papers grasped between her fingers. She was far from jealous, and he knew it. He wanted to get a rise out of her because he felt cornered. "I don't care what these people think about me," she whispered. "But you do. So just sign it."

He stood before her, tall and broad with his jaw set as he said, "There is no way in hell you have what it takes to intimidate me. Now get the fuck out of here, or I will have security remove you from the hotel for disrupting the conference."

She knew she didn't have any other choice. If she somehow got herself in trouble for being here, she didn't have the money to spend on more legal help. So she took a step backwards just as Kevin's hand flew up to pull the name badge from her shirt. "And you're obviously not Dr. Harmon. She has enormous tits, and I fucked her last year in Toronto. Now go." 

Twenty minutes later, Anna was back on the bus heading south toward San Diego, empty handed with tears in her eyes and a bruised arm.

-----------------------------

"What happened to your pretty girlfriend?"

Bob looked up from his phone as he walked up his porch steps after a long run on Monday evening. He hadn't been sleeping well, debating reaching out to Anna again, and he was hoping the run would tire him out. But he should have known Suzanne would have her door open and her game shows blaring at this hour.

"Hi, Suzanne," he said, wishing he could just duck inside his own place without having to chat with her.

"I haven't seen her again in weeks."

Bob sighed and tipped his head back. "She's not my girlfriend. She never was."

"Not with that attitude," his neighbor mused under her breath.

"You have a good night, Suzanne." Bob swatted Sylvester away from his front door before heading inside and up to take a shower. He thought about Anna as he ran his soapy hands along his body. He tried not to, but she was on his mind a lot. When he climbed into bed, his skin felt too hot. He opened the window to let the late fall air in, but it did nothing to help him. He wanted to see her, even just to make sure she was still okay.

He reached for his phone, typed up a text, and then deleted it. "You sound so desperate for her," he groaned, trying again. But again he had to delete it rather than send it. Finally he settled on something simple.

Hey, I've been craving some peanuts from Chippy's. Feel like joining me for a bit tomorrow?

It sounded neutral enough. If she said no, he'd ask Jessica to make sure the ladies were checking in on her. If she said yes, then Bob could see with his own eyes if she was okay. He would also get to see with his own eyes how fucking beautiful she was, but that didn't matter as much, honestly.

He was just slipping into a daydream where Anna's husband divorced her tomorrow and never left the state of New Jersey again when his phone vibrated on his nightstand.

Anna Webber: Peanuts from Chippy's sound heavenly right now. I would love to join you for a little bit.

He exhaled as the cooler air finally met his skin, and he pulled his sheet over himself after he promised to meet her there.

----------------------------

Before she went down to the quad with her lunch bag, Anna adjusted her cardigan. She knew her sleeve was covering his bruised arm, but she felt naked all morning during her lectures anyway. She felt like her skin and the inside of her brain were on full display for everyone. She wondered when Alyssa was due. She wondered if Kevin slept with Dr. Harmon when he was in Toronto last June or last October. Perhaps both. She wondered how someone who was so full of shit could keep coming out ahead of her.

"Anna!"

At least her friends were still faithfully waiting for her at the weird looking tree. And at least Bob was making it a point to let her know she was welcome around him. She could hardly wait to go to Chippy's later. 

"Hi," she said, plopping down in between them on the bench, adjusting her sleeve one more time before pulling her sad sandwich out. "What's new in the world of science and mathematics?"

Almost immediately, she had a container of veggies and a homemade ranch dip in her hand while her friend told her about a fascinating math conference she wanted to go to next year in Philadelphia. Apparently the dates were just announced, and you had to be someone important to even get an invitation. Anna loved that her friend already knew she was going to go, but it made her dwell on Kevin and his conference which was still going on in Carlsbad.

"Oh!" Jessica said as she poured some potato chips on her already delectable looking sandwich. "Jake and I are going to Cabo next month! A much needed break after the term ends."

"I love that for you," Anna told her, feeling jealous in spite of herself. And that made her feel even sadder. She almost winced when her other friend wrapped her arm around her, inadvertently mashing her hand against the bruise from Kevin.

"Don't worry. Bradley and I aren't going anywhere for term break. I wanted to, but his favorite Grateful Dead cover band is playing right here in San Diego on New Year's Eve, and he absolutely can't miss it. That would be a crime." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm which made Anna laugh. "How's your week going?" she asked cautiously. 

Anna wanted to tell them all about going to the conference at the hotel. She wanted to tell them that she saw Kevin and left with less than nothing. She would tell them, but not right now when she only had a little bit of time before she had to give her Classics lecture. She didn't want to run the risk of arriving to the lecture hall with tears in her eyes. 

Instead she softly said, "I'm going to see Bob later. Just a quick visit to Chippy's for some peanuts."

Jessica was instantly vibrating with excitement. "That's great. I think you and he will have fun!"

"We will," Anna confirmed. Even though it was a little awkward, she'd had a nice time with him at the bookstore. She always did. Because he was kind and sweet and literally the opposite of everything that Kevin turned out to be. She just wished there was some reality in which she could feel his arms around her again. "We will."

The end of lunch came way more quickly than she wanted it to, and Anna found herself mentally regrouping to try to find another way to get her manuscript. She taught her last two lectures and graded a handful of essays, counting down the minutes until she could see Bob again. His blue eyes would be soft when he looked at her, and his words would be enough to make her feel better even if they only engaged in some small talk.

When she only had thirty minutes until she was supposed to meet him, she printed off sixty copies of the quiz she would need for tomorrow afternoon. Anna locked her office door behind her as she headed down to the teacher's lounge to retrieve the quizzes before someone moved them, never to be seen again. She learned her lesson after last time that if you didn't grab them right away, there was a good chance they'd end up in the trash. Then she would drop them off before going to meet Bob.

----------------------------

Since he was running early, Bob decided to just head to Anna's office and meet her there. He'd been so antsy to see her, he showered and dressed in his favorite jeans and tee shirt in record time after work. Even though he'd only been in this one academic building one time, he remembered exactly how to get to her office. Having an outstanding sense of direction just came with the territory for a WSO, but her hallway also smelled like fresh baked bread.

When he rounded the last corner, Bob skidded to a halt and ducked back behind the wall. There was a man about his age who was vigorously jiggling Anna's doorknob. "Anna. Open the door so we can talk," he said calmly even as he pushed his fingers through his hair in exasperation. Bob didn't know who he was, but he had a bad feeling, and that's when the man turned his head and spotted him.

Bob squared his shoulders to try to match the other man's height as he rounded the corner completely and asked, "Are you looking for Dr. Webber?"

The other man appraised him with cool gray eyes and smirked. "Let me guess. You're sleeping with her?"

Bob's heart lurched into his stomach as the color drained from his face. He knew this had to be Kevin. He knew it without confirmation, and now he didn't know how the hell he was supposed to respond. So he simply kept his mouth shut while the other man took a step in his direction.

"She really likes to act so high and mighty. Very hypocritical in this scenario," he muttered, making Bob's skin crawl. "I can't believe her."

Bob swallowed hard, trying to figure out why Anna agreed to go to Chippy's today if she knew Kevin was in San Diego. All he knew about was what she'd told him when she came to his house. Bob didn't think he should divulge too much to this man, so he simply asked, "What do you want from her?"

The answer was swift and felt like a punch to the gut. "She's my wife, and she's coming back to New Jersey with me where I can keep track of her. She doesn't belong here, and she needs to stop lying. So why don't you tell me what you want from her?"

His nostrils flared as his fingers curled into fists, and Bob had to take a few deep breaths before he said, "I just wanted to make sure she's okay."

Kevin crossed his arms over his chest and said, "She's nothing you need to be concerned about."

The uneasy feeling that started to fill him up spread through his whole body now, and Bob took a step backwards. Maybe Anna was already at Chippy's. Maybe she didn't know Kevin was here at all. He backtracked his way through the building as he started to panic. What if she did know he was here? What if she had played Bob and everyone else the whole time?

He would check for her at Chippy's. He made it all the way across the quad to a weird looking tree that was growing sideways when he froze again. It just didn't make sense. Anna said she hated Kevin and never wanted to go back to New Jersey, and Bob had no reason to believe someone else over her.

He started calling her phone, torn as to which direction he should head. Back up to her office? To Chippy's where they were supposed to meet up? She didn't answer. He started toward the bar, covering the few blocks at a brisk pace as he tried to call her again. He walked back and forth across that sticky floor through the clusters of students enjoying an after class drink before he was satisfied that she wasn't there. 

"Damn it, Anna. Answer your phone," he muttered as he ran back to her building and up to her office. The building was virtually empty at this hour, and now there was nobody in the hallway at all. He knocked on her door and called out her name, but he was met with silence. The kind of silence that just didn't feel right.

He felt like he was going crazy, running in circles both metaphorically and physically for this woman, and when he finally reached his truck, he had to wipe the sweat from his brow. Her apartment wasn't far from campus, and he didn't know where else to even look at this point. When he got there, he parked and tried to call her one more time before someone else who lived in the building simply held the door open for him.

"Thanks," he muttered, heading for the stairwell and taking the steps two at a time until he reached Anna's floor. And then her apartment. What he heard coming from inside made him want to rip the door from the hinges.

--------------------------

I hate Kevin. Hate. Him. I'm sorry, but he's still going to get worse. Just remember that Bob is a sweet cinnamon bun. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 14

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[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Part 6

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

My god this header is ass but I was an emo kid what can I say

Series Masterlist : Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist

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Chapter summary: Past. Remy teaches you to drive Present. Separated, you and Logan speak to others about each other.

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

3.0 words

Before

“Remy!!!” You giggle, the car driving slow as a snail, with you behind the wheel.

“You are doing great, pistache, but I think you can speed up a little more now.”

You nod, smiling as you tap the gas just a bit. The car jolts forward, making Remy gasp and grab at his chest.

“Shoot!”

Remy laughs. “C’est bon, just keep going.”

He was teaching you to drive. Your parents and husband did not think you needed to learn how to drive, which you thought was silly.

‘What if I need to go somewhere?’

‘Where could you possibly need to go without me?’

‘What if we have our baby, and there’s an emergency?’

‘Call me, I’ll take care of you. Besides, you should probably worry about managing to get pregnant before you worry too hard about that, babe.’

The memory made your skin crawl, and made you more determined to learn yourself. In the distance of the parking lot, you can see Logan leaning against his bike, smoking a cigar.  When you told him during your regular lunches you returned too that he was going to teach you to drive, Logan tried to insist it should be him instead. You told him you weren’t going to learn on a motorcycle before a car. When he pouted, you said that you’d let him teach you to ride a motorcycle one day. That made him smile. He was still apprehensive, but you promised he could watch just in case.

“Look out!” Remy’s call brought you back to reality, him grabbing the steering wheel and turning only just in time to swerve the curve of the car from crashing straight into it. The car jumps the curb and you hear a loud pop, but as soon as you had heard his exclamation, you had taken your foot off the gas. For a moment the car sputtered slowly as you drove back onto the parking, then it stop with a shake. Logan was there, his hands on the hood and preventing the little bit of engine power that made the car go in drive from pushing forward. The fear in his eyes as he locked into yours make your heart clench, but you were too busy feeling guilty for whatever you did to Remy’s car.

“Remy! I’m so sorry!” You exclaim as you put the car into park.

His hand is on his heart, but he’s looking you over. “Don’t worry about me, I can heal. Did you hit your head?”

“But your car!” Tears blur at your eyes fast. This is why you never learned. You were too stupid to learn. You were just a dumb stupid idiot girl who could drive and couldn’t do math and could get pregant so what was the fucking point of you? Stupid, stupid, stu-

Strong hands pulled your face to him, eyes wide and blown out and looking over you. “Baby doll, are you hurt? Is anything hurting?”

The tears stream down your face, panic rising in your gut. Remy was going to hate you. Your friend was going to hate you.

“I broke his car!!” You exclaim, sobbing loudly. 

Confusion flitters across his face. Ever gentle, Logan takes your face in his hands, getting close so that you couldn’t avoid looking at him. “Baby, look at me. Need you to look at me.” When your eyes focused on his dark brown ones again, he gave you a little smile. “Good girl. Now listen to me. You didn’t break his car, the tire popped and the rim is a little busted, but- hey, hey listen to me,- but, Remy isn’t mad, because I’m gonna fix it, right Remy?”

From behind you, Remy speaks, his hand on your back calming you. “I wouldn’t be mad either way, pistache. I promise, it isn’t a big deal.”

You sniffle. “...Did I hurt you guys?” You ask, looking at Logan but directing the question to both.

Logan shakes his head. “We he-”

“I’m not asking about the healing, I’m asking if you got hurt.”

“Little bit in my palms, but it’s nothing now. You were going slow.”

Remy. “Not one bit, I promise. It’s okay.”

You give a little nod. “Okay.”

“That’s my girl.” Logan thumbs away a tear. 

After you calmed down down enough to tell him you were hurt, just shaken up, Logan look visibly relieved. Remy went to the store with Logan’s card (Remy promised it was okay, but Logan wanted to pay), and got the parts Logan needed to repair, Logan took you up to your room.

“Are you sure you’re okay, dolly?”

“Yeah… yeah I’m okay… Can you… maybe stay with me while Remy’s out?”

“I’ll stay with you as long as you need me.”

The accident had scared you, but what scared you more was that they’d get mad at you, hurt you. You were so prepared to take a beating, and you would have deserved it. 

“Remy isn’t mad, right?” You ask once again, still nervous.

Logan frowned. “No, no he isn’t. Not one bit. In fact, he’s probably forgotten all about it and is flirting with some unlucky cashier as we speak.”

That made you chuckle, but quickly even that joy was gone. “I thought… I thought he was gonna start yelling at me… or hit me or something… I don’t understand how he’s so calm.”

His frown turned into something dark, a coldness washing his face that sent a chill through you. This wasn’t the Logan you knew, but you’d seen something akin to it before, when the man at the store yelled at you. “Has he ever hurt you?”

Your eyes go wide. “No! No, oh my god, absolutely not.”

“Has he ever yelled at you? Because I’ll kill him, I swear to god dolly, I’ll-”

“No! Logan,” You take his hand, thumbing over the hair at the top. “I promise, Remy has never so much as rolled his eyes at me.”

There was a pause, Logan searching you for a lie, checking if you were protecting him, your soft little heart not wanting him hurt… He was skeptical.

“Then why did you think he was going to?” When Logan asks this, you shift uncomfortably in your spot at the window seat, looking away, but he squeezes the hand you hold him with. “Talk to me, please.”

You still can’t look at him, ashamed to admit what happened to you, and not really telling the full story… but Logan deserved to know. The way he looked at you, the way you felt for him… he was as good as they came. He deserved to know.

“I told you I was married…” Another light squeeze. “He um… he used to beat me. Badly…”

Logan knew this of course, Charles letting you in on this when you were sick… Ever since then, he’s been trying to figure out who your husband is so he can go slice him open, leaving his guts hanging on your church’s door, intestines wrapped around the door handle. No luck so far.

“How badly, doll?”

“Bad enough to get frequent flyer points at the hospital.” You try to joke, but Logan didn’t think it was funny.

“And no one thought it was suspicious?”

You were so uncomfortable, needing so badly to get away from this conversation. Shame filled you, but what happened, what really fully happened was so much more worse than you could ever tell him, so you gave a simpler version.

“No. I tried to tell a doctor but he… said it was my fault.” Saying it was your fault was only the half of it.

Logan looked like he was ready to commit murder. 

“Tell me his name, doll. I’ll take care of it, I promise.”

*

You didn’t, refused to. He didn’t need to go googling that name and find what comes up.

Soon, Remy returned and Logan acquiesced to going to fix the car, only leaving you when it seemed like you might have another anxiety attack if Remy’s car wasn’t fixed.

You watch from your window seat as Logan worked. He had the car up on a jack, replacing the rim and the tire like new. He looked so good like this, that tight white tank top and blue jeans, muscles straining against himself and dirtying up in grease… he looked so good. Things were getting harder and harder to retrain with him, and god, when he was like this? He was exactly the masculinity you were taught to idolize, but with a softness you didn’t expect.

Your fingers were ghosting over your panties before you could stop yourself. A tingly rush came through as you touch over your clit, a mix of shame and pleasure filling you. You never, ever touched yourself. It was a sin, it was wrong. Yout thought. Honestly, you were still recovering from everything you and your husband went through, you hadn’t had time to re-evaluate your beliefs yet. It was all so daunting… but when you swirled over your clit while looking at Logan… you couldn’t help but moan. 

Fuck it.

You were on your way to hell as it was considering what you had done back in Carolina, this was the least of your worries.

Scrambling, you pull off your panties, your skirt giving you easy access to explore your body and feeling what you liked. You imagined Logan touching you, caressing you, telling you the sweet words you’d never heard before.

‘Such a pretty girl, dolly’ he’d say, that rough voice of his crooning against your stomach as he’d touch you. ‘So pretty and good, sweet little angel.’

Logan would make you feel worthy wheen he’d slide his fingers inside.

You pump yourself with your right hand, giving your clit attention with your left and panting heavily. Eyes remained on Logan as he lifted the tire up to the rim, mounting it on again and those muscling bulging even from your view 3 floors up. You pump faster, imagine his words and gentle touches. Logan was always so gentle with you, so careful and kind and filling you with praise you didn’t get before.

‘You’re doing so well, dolly.’ He would tell you, you know he would. Logan always complimented your food, your clothes, how you were with the children… surely he’d compliment your body, how good you were for him… he called you something today, a good girl… yeah he’d call you a good girl knuckles deep, right? ‘Good girl, my little baby doll’

As Logan bolted the tire to car, you feel the orgasm approaching and echo hose words he’d said in the car, over and over again as you watched and imagined it was Logan touching you, ‘good girl, good girl, good girl’ On repeat until it crashed into you.

Caught by surprise, you cry out his name, shouting in pleasure as you ride out your orgasm on your fingers,  wave after wave of pleasure gushing out onto your fingers, body shaking with the intensity. You’d come here and there with your husband. He was pretty good looking and occasionally made things good for you, but this? This was something else. Just the idea of Logan surpassed anything your husband had given you.

Sweaty and panting, you rest of the window, forehead pressed to the cool air.

When you open your eyes, your body ran cold.

Logan was looking right at you.

After

“It’s Logan’s, isn’t it?”

You gasp, startled so much from Scott just appearing behind her more than the words, but as you clean up your spilled rice from the counter, what he said sunk in.

“Sorry.” Scott mumbles, brushing the rice into his hand to throw away. “Thought you heard me come in. I wasn’t quiet.”

“I’m partially deaf, right ear.” You tap it, trying to steer him away from his questions. “Can’t really hear much out of there.”

He’s still staring at you. “That didn’t answer my question.”

Heat creeps up your body. You didn’t want anyone to know, but you were also scared for Scott. Everyone knew their animosity. That will happen when you sleep with a man’s wife. “I don’t know what you mean.” If Scott figured out you were pregnant with Logan’s baby, it wouldn’t take long for him to figure out you aren’t talking to Logan. If he thinks anything is amiss in your relationship, you’re concerned he’ll confront Logan. 

“You can talk to me.”

The urge to laugh at that was strong. You couldn’t even tell Remy what happened, why would Scott think you’d talk to him? You barely knew him. And thank fucking god Mr. Xavier was away or you’re sure he’d pick up on all this. You didn’t want to talk about it. You wanted it to have never happened. You wanted your Logan back. You wanted the Logan you knew before.

“Did he hurt you?”

You hadn’t realized you’ve been staring off into space, but his words make you snap over to him, looking right into his glasses.

“No!” You say quickly, the words sputtering out as denial seeps into your bones. “No, Logan wouldn’t hurt me, Mr. Summers. Logan just wouldn’t. He would do that!” Tears burn behind your eyes as you protest too much. “Logan is kind, and he’s gentle and he- he protects me! He wouldn’t hurt me!”

“Hun-”

“HE WOULDN'T! He protects me! Logan wouldn’t hurt m-me!” The final words came out in a sob, and you realize how suspicious you sounded. Were you saying this to Scott, or to yourself? Were you really denying what he’d done? If you were, you were as crazy and Logan was… but something about your words felt… good. Logan wouldn’t do that to you. Logan isn’t a rapist. 

There’s a beat of silence, Scott’s mouth opening to protest, but he seems to think better of making a crying girl cry more.

“Alright hun, if you say so. Logan wouldn’t hurt a fly.” There is a hint of sarcasm, but it was light enough you could brush it off. Your Logan wouldn’t hurt a fly. Your Logan came into your room as you screamed at a wolf spider, trapped it in his hands and let it go out the window. Your Logan held your in his arms when the nightmares didn’t relent, even though he had woken up from his own. No one understood your Logan. 

*

The girl was sleeping in the back seat.

Kurt and Logan’s pairing had been intentional. Kurt, a devout Catholic, was there to try and sway girl family with theology, convince them that their mutant daughter, Cecilia, was not possessed, but rather gifted by God, who had a divine purpose for her. They preferred to keep families together if possible, not wanting to separate children from their families.

When that didn’t work, and Kurt’s bleeding heart struggled to do what had to be done, that’s where Logan came in. No one was killed, but Logan came close with the father. When he looked at the young girl, he saw you as a teenager, needing help.

Now, as they drive back to New England, she rested, underweight and no sleep for days. They’d stopped at a Culvers, Kurt’s favorite, and got her a whole meal with ice cream included, which she devoured, and they were off.

“You and the young fräulein on the outs, my fruend?”

Logan rolls his eyes. “Everyone single one of you is so fucking nosy.”

“Judging by the tone, I’d say that’s a yes”

Kurt was lucky Logan liked him. He sighs, gripping the steering wheel as Kurt chows down on some fries. “There may have been a mild… disagreement.”

He chuckles. “And what did you do?”

“The fuck makes you think it’s my fault?”

“Deine kleine Puppe würde keiner Fliege etwas zuleide tun”

“English”

“You’ve lived all these years and you never bothered to learn another language?”

“Kurt.”

“Your little doll wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Logan snapped his head over to his driving partner. “What the fuck did you just call her?” His tone was harsh, an aggression Kurt wasn’t used to towards him.

Kurt frowned. “Little doll?”

“Don’t fuck’n call her that.”

A beat. “Why?”

“That’s for me. Not you.”

The confusion was clear, but Kurt knew better than to push it.

“When was the last time she’s been to church?”

That made Logan glance over again. “Since she left her family, probably.”

He nodded. “Maybe offer to bring her some weekend.”

Logan couldn’t help but laugh at that. “The church sent her off to be married to a whole ass adult at 16 and let her get abused. I don’t think-”

“The IBLP is a fucking cult, Logan. But not every church is like that.”

A scoff escapes him. “I’m sure. Let me guess, you want her to go to your church?”

Kurt smacked him. “You know damn well I can’t go to mass looking like a demon. Cece’s family about had a panic attack seeing me. No, Logan, I mean like, something less intense. I’m not an idiot, I know you can’t just drop someone into a catholic church. Something like Unitarian Universalist, or a nondenominational church, somewhere she can worship how she chooses.”

There’s a bit of quiet, but Logan is thinking it over. His first instinct was to keep you away from any church ever after what happened to you, but clearly not everyone religious is bad. Hell, Kurt was going to be a priest for a while, and he’s alright. Maybe you needed that. You did still believe… after all your long late-night talks, he knew that much… Considering the baby you were carrying, maybe this would help calm your nerves. You needed hope, a reminder in love and how important family was, how important the family he had with you was…

Thanks for all the love you've been giving this series! It genuinly means so much.

As per the last poll, Im surprised t find remy is makin everyone suspicious! Crazy!

Anyway, now that we've met Kurt and Scott....

If you have any idea for a poll next time, let me know!

Also go ahead and comment or send me anons with any songs you think fit the playlist!

As always, comments mean the world. thank you for all the wonderful comments and the indepth thoughts!

Dark Logan and Dark Scott with reader

dark reader x logan

Logan pregnant scotts wife reader

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia @new-genesis1000 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight

[writingoddess1125]

Over Achiever

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x FemReader

This is just Corny Corn Fluff!

Enjoy!

Next Part >>>

Support me on Ko-Fi!

Sitting on your couch you stared at the stack of papers before you in total shock- it was suppose to be a simple checkup.. not something like this.

You especially felt unsure since your husband wasn't here- He should have been here for something as important as this.. However his missions were important for the world- That and its what you signed up for when you married Simon 'Ghost' Riley.

You and Simon had been married for 3 years and dated for nearly 5 before then, Meeting at a resturant you owned when he showed up during leave to grab some take away. That was the humble start to a beautiful and gentle relationship the two of you shared.

You two had every conversation in the book about what you both expected in life and what the plans were.. This however was not one of them..

"Fuck- I've got to tell him.."

It was still a good month out till he returned and didn't use his phone while out on missions so you knew it was off in his pocket- he needed to know however.. so you figured a letter would be fine- it would be a cute and easiest way so he wasnt surprised with a heart attack when he got home and saw you like that... jumping to your feet you grab the car keys quickly and rushed to the closest store and then the post office- How bad could it be anyway?

WEEK LATER

On the other side of the world Ghost leaned against an outdoor wall, they were just back from their latest mission and had a cool down before the next one.

He missed you- terribly.. he missed his home and truthfully didn't want to be sweating his arse off when he could be with you. It surprised him in truth, before he used missions to escape the idea of a home- However now he was excited to return home... to you.

Simon was still highly secretive however so no one knew he was married, besides Price who had been invited to the wedding. He had to protect you, his little slice of sunshine in a overall dark life.

"Riley, you've got a letter" Price called out snapping the man from his thoughts, Ghost surprised to hear this- He never really got mail even from you since he insisted it was emergency only to avoid any information leaks.

Stepping forward quickly he grabbed the pale blue envelope- Soap now also curious as he peaked at his Lieutenant.

"Oh? Someone special?" Soap teased, however curiosity burning in his gaze.

Rolling his eyes Ghost opened the letter and saw a tiny plain card, a spike of anxiety hitting his chest as he slowly opened the card and felt the air suddently sucked directly from his lungs.

The team watched Ghost eyes widen like big blue saucers, worry now blanketing the group as Ghost closed the card and then opened it again like to confirm.

"Eh, Lieutenant?.. You alright there?" Soap said softly as he stepped forward to touch the man's shoulder. Price and Gaz also getting closer to see if the masked man was okay-

"Y-Yes I'm fine.. move" He grunted out, the men stepping back as Ghost went to step forward before passing out misstep and falling into the dirt.

"Holy Fuck!!" They all yelled as Ghost fashionably face planted into the dirt and Soap and Gaz scrambling to help the man to his legs which had seemed to suddently turn to jello- Ghost wobbling up as his mass seemed to suddently be too much for him, dropping the paper into the dirt which Price quickly scooped up to keep from getting damaged.

"Take him to the medical bay" Price said quickly as they could hear Ghost muttering something about a van and other random shit- worried their hardened killer had finally lost his mind as they dragged him off to the medbay.

Price holding the card in hand and cracking open to take a peak at what just laid out his Lieutenant-

Congratulations!

You Over Achiever!

Si I'm pregnant and they are triplets!

You over achieving Ass-!!!

I love you and can't wait to see you home!

- Love (Y/N) ♡

The ultrasound picture with the clearly labeled 1,2,3 in red over the black and white images. Price couldnt help but crack a smile and chuckle softly as he closed the card- Looking as he saw Ghost still being rushed to the medical bay.

"I'll be damned-"

A tiny cornerstore card had knocked out one of the world's best solders.

[lulu2992]

Happy 10th Anniversary, Far Cry 4 (3/3)

Finally, here are two ten-year-old sketches I very recently decided to color for the game’s anniversary.

Because of Ishwari’s final letter to Pagan, in which she says she has to leave Kyrat because she’s afraid of what Mohan could do, I always believed she wasn’t planning on killing him. According to Willis, who said this part of the story he told Ajay was true, she fled the country at night, and Mohan, however, did want to murder her. As for Bhadra, she reveals he was killed in his house.

So this is what I imagine happened:

Ishwari secretly left the palace in a hurry with an asleep 3-year-old Ajay and drove to the Ghale Homestead to pick up a few things, notably her passport. She hoped Mohan wouldn’t be there, or if he was, that he would at least be asleep. She didn’t feel safe anywhere so she took a gun, just in case.

When she arrived, she was relieved to find her old house empty and went upstairs to take what she needed. She was so busy frantically going through the various chests and drawers that she lost track of time and didn’t hear the footsteps behind her. Her husband’s voice distinctly saying her name, however, made her jump, turn around, and freeze.

I picture him standing there with hatred in his eyes, maybe alcohol in his breath, and a kukri in his hand, the same weapon I imagine he had used, a few weeks earlier, to brutally take the life of one-year-old Lakshmana out of sheer spite.

He probably sarcastically greeted her and asked if she was looking for something she had lost. Was it her honor? Or maybe her dignity? Ishwari was overwhelmed by so many emotions, mostly fear and resentment, that she didn’t know what to answer and just remained silent, her eyes glistening in the dimly lit room.

She was bold for daring to come back after what she had done, or at least that was what Mohan said before calmly asking where she intended to take his son. Ishwari suddenly panicked thinking of Ajay, waiting for her in the car she had parked near the house. No, Mohan wouldn’t do anything to him…

He took a step forward, and she placed a hand on the gun that was tucked in her pants, which he didn’t seem to notice. He repeated his question, his tone a little angrier than before: where was she taking his son?

His son… How dared he call Ajay his son after letting her take care of him alone for the past two years? After asking her to take him with her to the Royal Palace when he ordered her to go spy on Pagan as if Ajay were a mere prop? The man who was there, by her side, to hear his first words and see his first steps wasn’t Mohan. His son probably wouldn’t even recognize him now.

She still hadn’t answered the question, but as he took another menacing step towards her and she tightened her grip on the concealed firearm, he spoke again and confirmed what she already suspected: it didn’t matter where she wanted to go, he wouldn’t let her leave this place alive anyway.

Mohan raised his blade and lunged at his wife, but didn’t even get the chance to touch her. He stumbled back in confusion and fell to the ground, dropping his weapon while Ishwari was still firmly gripping hers, shocked she had managed to draw and shoot it so fast, almost reflexively.

He wasn’t dead yet, and she saw him put a hand on his chest where the bullet had hit him while the blood stain on his clothes grew bigger. She walked towards him in silence as he struggled to breathe, his wide, incredulous eyes looking at the ceiling.

There he was. The great Mohan Ghale. Her husband. Lakshmana’s murderer. Slowly bleeding to death on the floor.

He stuttered her name in disbelief and she remained silent. He who had insisted women couldn’t fight had probably changed his mind now.

Ishwari had already wondered what she would feel if she were to take revenge, or if Pagan did. She didn’t want to kill Mohan, but she had still imagined what it would be like to know the man she had once loved had died for his crime. Relief? Sadness? Happiness?

She hadn’t come here to avenge her daughter’s death, yet fate had decided otherwise. She had shot in self-defense but, in the end, it didn’t change anything: Mohan was dying, and as she now stared at her agonizing husband, she finally knew the answer.

She felt nothing.

So, Ishwari turned around and continued to search the room for a few moments while his pained grunts and breathing sounds grew weaker before eventually finding what she had come here for. She walked past Mohan when she exited her old bedroom for the very last time without even looking at him. Was he still alive? She didn’t know, and she wasn’t even sure she really cared anymore.

Once outside, she ran to her car and was relieved to find Ajay in the back, still peacefully asleep. Soon, he will be far from this place. Mohan was not a threat anymore, but that didn’t mean it was now safe to stay in Kyrat. Everyone would soon find out what had happened and rightly conclude who was responsible for his death. It pained her to go, to leave Pagan and the life she had managed to build, but she didn’t have a choice. Ishwari had made a decision, and now wasn’t the time to second-guess it.

Kyrat had already taken one child away from her; she wouldn’t let it take Ajay too.

[verdemoun]

for your timewarp au might i be so evil to suggest sean has another sudden death in like his 50s or 40s….like hit by a car or something….might i be so bold….or maybe you could just do how they WOULD react to that IF it did happen in your au which it DID NOT🥺

honestly super proud of myself for timewarp becoming 'that one dude with the macsummers content' and i'm here for it also WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL DON'T YOU JUST WANT THE BOYS TO BE HAPPY?? not timewarp canon because NO but a timewarp what if

sean is found dead in almost the exact same position as he fell in rhodes, having been shot and killed in a mugging gone wrong at 39 years old

when two uniformed officers asked if they could step inside, lenny rolled his eyes and immediately asked what sean had done. when they very delicately explained sean had been found dead, lenny laughed.

he went so far into denial it was uncomfortable. that it wasn't possible, he'd seen sean that morning. that this is the exact sort of shit his husband would pull as a prank (sean had never, ever pulled any stunt or prank like this).

tried to call him. tried to call and tell him to cut the crap and come home. no answer. called again. it had long passed being funny. no answer. called again. knew his phone wasn't flat, because the calls were ringing out before that familiar 'hi, it's sean macguire here FUCK I MESSED UP LENNY HOW DO I RESET-'. begged him to pick up. he was starting to get worried. called again. admitted he was scared. that he needed sean to actually pick up his goddamned phone for once.

looks back at the officers and screams for them to get out of his house. keeps calling. keeps desperately calling. hears about a body being found on the news. keeps calling. phone rings. sprints to get it. it's not sean. it's hosea. only needs to hear that old man's soft, defeated sigh and realizes sean wasn't coming home.

still tries to cling onto denial. sean was always losing his wallet. maybe it was a different tall ginger who happened to have sean's wallet. maybe sean was just running late and he'd walk in any second and clear this whole fucking disaster up.

then karen walks in, eyes already red and dry from rubbing away hours of tears. walks straight past him, to the kitchen, grabs down two bottles of whatever hard liquor she gets her hands on, and holds a bottle towards lenny. because they've done this before.

maeve is already asleep. they have until morning to figure out how to explain to daddy's girl that da isn't coming home. until then, they drink.

lenny only needs to be drunk enough to ask once 'what if sean timewarped again' for the whole gang to come together as lenny's official suicide watch. he is not allowed to be alone, at all, for months after sean's death no matter how much he insists he knows he has to be there for maeve and karen

whatever made lenny lenny died with sean. that spark, that youthfulness even in age and general passion and wonder for life is gone. he disintegrates into a workaholic who keeps himself so emotionally guarded in an attempt to never hurt again he becomes apathetic, and jarred, and bitter, and the spitting image of his own father

[softquietsteadylove]

is it bad that i wanna see gil absolutely fuck kro up in circus au 👀

Kro roared, charging at Gil from behind and tackling him to the ground. Gil was about as well built as they came, but Kro wasn't exactly small or delicate either. "Get your filthy hands away from her!"

But he swung wildly--blindly. Kro swung his fists like a man who had only ever been in a fight against someone he knew he could beat. He only played winning games.

But Gil hadn't always been so strong. There had been a time when he had just been a kid, trying to protect a hutch of bunnies from the boys in the schoolhouse. There was a time when he had been an awkward young man begging his classmates not to throw rocks at pigeons and rats. There was a time when Gil wasn't a fighter.

But Thena made him want to be. And he had been in fights before. He had fought battles he hadn't known he would win, against those he knew were bigger and stronger.

Gil rolled them over, still trying to get them away from the tables, the supplies, from Thena--everything. He got himself on top of Kro and swung with intention.

Every blow communicated everything he wished he could say. From the first time he had met Thena and then been mortified to learn who her husband was. From the first time she'd said his name to the time he had learned it was she who had insisted on hiring him.

All the way to the touches, the looks, even the kiss. The first one and the one they had shared in the sleeper car where she would later sleep in the same bed as her husband. Gil had always thought of himself as a good man. Never would he have guessed he would be wanting for another man's wife. But if loving Thena was wrong he would walk clean into hell of his own free will, but only if she would send him off with a kiss and that smile of hers.

"Come on, break it up!"

"Get 'em apart, they'll kill each other!"

"Bastard deserves it!" Gil barked, although not definitively at someone. He felt hands clawing at him to pull him away but all he could see was Kro under him, his eyes black and his face bloodied.

Kro pushed his palm up and into Gil's face. "Get off me!"

"Gil!"

He paused. His fist was poised up in the air, ready to swing down again. But he looked away from Kro, his vision clearing and letting him see Thena looking at him. His eye was swollen too, from Kro's wild haymaker. He blinked. "Thena?"

She marched forward, past the men trying to keep the lady back from the violence. She moved them away, grabbing onto his shirt to haul him up and away from her husband. "Get off him, Gil--won't help."

He stumbled as she pulled him. His knees felt hollow and his vision was hazy. "A-Are you okay?"

"Me," she scoffed at him. She touched his face, careful of the swelling already starting. "What were you thinking?"

He let her lead him like a stumbling calf over to the water pump. "Couldn't let him treat you like that."

"So gallant," she scoffed again, but her fingers were feather light on his skin. She met his eye, although she was looking particularly stern. "I told you not to fight him."

"He's saying shit-ah!" Gil flinched back as she applied faint pressure to his - now - bad eye.

"Sh," she whispered, moving to the area around the eye. "He says shit constantly. I live with him, recall?"

He recalled it constantly. He glanced over, but the guys were already hauling Kro somewhere else, probably the medical tent. He did get a few good hits on the bastard. "Isn't he going to ask where you are?"

She sighed. She knew very well that he was right, but she didn't make any move to join the man in question. "You need to get ice on this, wash off. If the eye gets worse you should see med."

Gil didn't even spare a glance to see if they were being watched or not. He raised his hand, gently pulling hers away from him. A reasonable enough action but the way they lingered in contact with one another wasn't. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. What if he hurts you because of this?"

She tilted her head at him. "I told you he wouldn't."

Gil's eyes drifted down again, brushing up her sleeve and against her arm.

"Don't," she whispered.

"Too late."

It was too late for both of them. She did spare a look to make sure they weren't being watched. Or at least, if anyone was still lingering, then they were unlikely to say anything.

Thena put her hand on his chest, under the guise of sliding it up to his shoulder. She gave it a squeeze, "how is it?"

It was the shoulder he had hurt catching her. "Like new."

She cracked at least a little bit of a smile at that. Her hand squeezed his shoulder again before she put some distance between them again. "Gil, we can't go on like this."

He had dreaded hearing her say those words.

"Monster or not," she shook her head, tears in her eyes, "he's my husband."

Maybe it would be a better idea for women to be able to leave their husbands. "Wish he wasn't."

Thena turned her head, letting herself hover a little closer. "Me too."

"I could kill him."

She smiled at his joke. Well, it was mostly a joke. "You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't?"

She patted his chest once more before taking a step back, truly giving the image of moving away from their little bubble. "That heart is too soft."

He was starting to wonder about that, though. But it did nothing to help them now. He also leaned away from the well pump. Everyone had dispersed, possibly to let him and Thena talk. He was still a little wobbly, probably from Kro punching him in the ear instead of the cheek on one side.

He walked over to the pens, happy just to take a seat on the bale of hay. He blinked as a grey snout floated down into his periphery. He puffed out a laugh, patting the nose with his less swollen hand. "I'm okay, boy."

Angus whinnied gently, nudging at him.

"Ah, I know, I know," he smiled down at his knees. He had gotten himself into hot water this time. He didn't know what was supposed to come next. He had attacked his boss, over a matter involving his boss' wife. He would be fired at least, and at most, Kro would kill him next time he saw him. "I shouldn't have."

Angus didn't offer any condemnation of his actions. If anyone wanted to get rid of Kro more than him, it was this horse.

"We'll figure it out, buddy," Gil promised, resting his temple against the size and weight of Angus' snout. He sighed, "bud?"

The horse's nostrils twitched.

"Next time you see that guy," Gil gave the equine's grey fur a kiss. "Give 'im hell."

[foundtherightwords]

The Hollow Heart - Chapter 5

Pairing: Hellcheer, Gothic AU

Summary: To escape her mother's control and the stifling society of Gilded Age New York, heiress Christabel Cunningham impulsively marries Henry Creel, a charming and seductive stranger, and accompanies him to his remote mansion on the West Coast. There, as Henry grows cold and cruel, Christabel must uncover her husband's sinister secret before it's too late. But can she trust Kas, her husband's enigmatic assistant, who seems to be her only ally in this strange place, or is Kas's loyalty to his master stronger than his attraction to Christabel?

Chapter warnings: none

Chapter word count: 4.2k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - The Hall that Echoes Still

Christabel screamed.

The clubroom car descended into chaos as Henry collapsed to the floor. The men jumped on Thompson to seize him and take the gun, blocking Henry from her view. She shook off Kas's hand holding her arm and ran into the room. Incredibly, Henry was sitting up, though a red stain was spreading fast across the front of his shirt.

"Oh God," Christabel cried out, trembling hands feeling for his wound, trying to staunch the bleeding. "Don't try to move. Where are you hit?"

"Stand aside!" he snapped, shoving her away none too gently. "Kas! Get her out of here!"

Kas was beside her, lifting her up. She fought back, but he was stronger, much stronger. "Calm yourself!" he said in her ear. "Look at Mr. Creel, he's fine! It's just a graze, I'm sure. You need to go back to your compartment and let the conductor handle this."

Christabel looked back at Henry. He was struggling to his feet, a hand clasped to his chest, and blood was still welling up between his fingers, but it was true that he didn't look like a man on the brink of death. She wished he would've said something to assure her, but he wasn't even looking at her. His eyes were fixed on the hapless Thompson, who was now slumped on the floor, and the look in those eyes sent chills down Christabel's spine.

She let Kas take her back to her compartment. After making sure that she needed nothing, he went back to see to Henry, promising to send her words as soon as there was any news.

She didn't even bother getting dressed. She sat in her chemise with her knees drawn up to her chest and tried to calm the trembling of her limbs. Henry did look fine. She had seen the gun go off very close to his heart, but in the murkiness of the room, in the panic of the moment, she might have been mistaken. Perhaps Kas was right, perhaps it was just a graze. Could someone bleed so much from just a graze? Why didn't anybody come and tell her anything? Why did they all insist on treating her as some silly thing that would only faint or fly into hysterics?

Finally, she could no longer take it. She put up her hair, dressed herself as best as she could, and went back out.

As the door opened, she almost ran straight into Kas.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"Everything is fine now," he said reassuringly. "Mr. Creel is fine. They have stopped the bleeding. The man, Thompson, is detained. The conductor has sent a telegram, asking for a doctor and the police to meet the train at the next station."

The nervous energy that had been keeping Christabel upright seemed to drain out of her all at once. She collapsed into Kas's arms, and he had to lead her back to the bed.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Just a little dizzy, that's all."

"Would you like something to eat?"

At the mention of food, Christabel realized she hadn't had anything to eat since luncheon the previous day. "Yes," she said. "Perhaps some food would—" Her eyes landed on Kas's hand supporting her arm. "Kas! Your hand!"

He looked down. Her curtains were closed, but a ray of sunlight shone through the gap and fell on the back of Kas's hand, turning the skin an angry shade of red. Looking embarrassed, Kas quickly covered the hand with his sleeve and backed into the corridor, which was still bathed in shadow.

"I'll ask a porter to bring you some breakfast," he said, then turned on his heel and vanished.

***

The station where they had to get off to meet the doctor and the police was Blue Creek, one of the stops Christabel had looked at with such fascination in the timetable. She was disappointed to discover that it was nothing like the romantic image she had conjured up in her mind, consisting only of a dilapidated depot attached to a rickety platform and a handful of clapboard houses huddled together, all covered in reddish dust. There was no sign of the eponymous creek.

Christabel had insisted on accompanying Henry, while Kas would go on ahead with their things and wait for them in San Francisco. She felt a little sorry that Kas wasn't there—there was something about his presence that calmed her, and she needed that, especially when Henry still didn't talk much to her. When they allowed her to see him after he had been bandaged up, she'd had to stop herself from throwing her arms around him, for fear of tearing his wound. She'd had to be content with just kissing his hand. Yet he hadn't even kissed her back. He'd only said irritably, "Quit your crying, I'm not dead yet. You know I can't stand tears."

The poor stationmaster of Blue Creek was quite flustered when they arrived, not knowing who to offer the only chair in the office to—Christabel, because she was a lady, or Henry, because he was wounded. Christabel, feeling sorry for the man, saved him the trouble by sitting down on a crate, leaving the chair for Henry so he could be examined by the doctor, who had been summoned from the nearby town of Ogden.

"This is remarkable!" the doctor exclaimed. "The bullet had gone straight through, but there seems to be very little damage to the tissue."

"I must have been quite lucky then," Henry said with a tight smile.

"Why, it looks like it's started to heal already!"

"Everyone in my family has always been fast healers. If there's nothing more you can do for me, Doc, I must talk to these police officers."

After the baffled doctor applied a fresh bandage, Henry shrugged his shirt back on and turned to the two officers, who were waiting patiently. A handcuffed Thompson sat sullenly to the side, his bloodshot eyes fixed on the floor.

The police report took much longer. Henry kept shaking his head, making exasperated gestures, and saying "Is all this necessary?" The stationmaster made some coffee and offered Christabel a cup, which she took out of politeness. It tasted of machine oil.

At last, the police were apparently satisfied with the account, Henry signed the report, and the officers left, dragging Thompson with them. The next train arrived—they got a private suite all to themselves this time, compliments of the railway. Christabel settled into the seat next to her husband, grateful that they finally had some time together. She only wished it hadn't come at the cost of a disaster.

"What a hassle," Henry grumbled, leaning against the seat with his eyes shut.

"What did you say to the police?" asked Christabel, brushing the hair out of his forehead.

"They wanted to charge Thompson with attempted murder. I told them it was an accident. The man is a drunk and a sore loser, but not a murderer."

Christabel stared at him. "But why? He was holding you at gunpoint and threatening me! Why would you show him leniency?"

"Don't you understand anything? If they charged him with attempted murder, there would be a trial, and I would have to come back to this God-forsaken place to be a witness. I'm far too busy to be wasting my time with such a—" He waved dismissively. "Anyway, it's all over now. I just want to get home. God, what an utter wreck this trip has been."   

Christabel wanted to ask if he meant the entire trip, including their marriage, or if he simply meant the train journey. But his eyes remained closed, and even then, there was such a look of displeasure on his face, that she didn't dare make a sound.

***

They arrived the next evening. From the train station, they headed to the ferry that would take them across the bay and into San Francisco. Despite her exhaustion and the cold, clammy wind that whipped at her hair, Christabel stood on the upper level of the ferry, trying to get a view of the city that she would be calling home, hopefully for the rest of her life. All she saw was a thick fog, through which a constellation of twinkling lights could be glimpsed, in a mirror image of the twinkling stars in the sky above. It reminded her of the blue heron she'd seen on Great Salt Lake, and Kas. She wondered if he was waiting for them.

He was. When Christabel exited the busy ferry terminal on Henry's arm, she found Kas waiting by a black Daimler with its hood folded back, every spoke shiny, every bit of leather gleaming. Christabel, used as she was to the luxurious cars and carriages of New York, still gaped at it.

"Didn't I tell you, darling?" Henry gloated, as Kas handed Christabel into the back seat. "Much better than Brenner's tin can on wheels, isn't it?" Henry's mood seemed to improve a great deal the moment they set foot in San Francisco, and Christabel's spirit lifted as well. He must have been grumpy simply from traveling. Anyone would, after being trapped in a steel box for five days and being shot at on top of it as well. Now that they were home, things were bound to get better.

Henry had told her that Creel House was on the other side of the bay, facing the Pacific Ocean, so they had to drive through the city to reach it. The fog was thinner here, and Christabel eagerly kept her eyes open to take in as much as she could. Although it was late and the cable cars had stopped running for the night, the streets were still thronged with motorcars, horse-drawn carriages, and late-night carousers. Buildings crowded close to each other on either side of the streets. It wasn't as grand as Manhattan, perhaps, but it was certainly busier, and had none of the staid solemnity of an old city. There was a free and easy air about the people that walked along the street as they called to each other and laughed with each other, and excitement flooded Christabel's veins. She was going to like it here.

The car kept going up and down steep heels, while the city spread out behind them and around them like a carpet of black velvet strewn with diamonds. It was such a beautiful sight that Christabel kept twisting around to look at it, until Henry said, "Sit still, darling. We don't want you tumbling off and cracking that pretty little head of yours open, do we?" His tone was mocking, but Christabel was so taken with everything that she didn't even feel annoyed.

Then the street opened up, and a darker, more liquid patch of night appeared ahead of them. The city's lights and hubbub fell behind them as the car took a turn and wove its way along a sheer cliff, with the sea on one side and rocky hills on the other. The fog had come in again. The car's headlight cast a small pool of light that only illuminated the immediate path in front of it, so Christabel couldn't see much, but she could hear the murmur of the sea, low but insistent, lapping at the rocks below, drowning out even the sound of the car and the hiss of the wind in her ears. Behind them, the road twisted and wounded like a silver snake. Occasionally, a dark bulk of a cliff face would materialize out of the fog like a sentinel giant, forcing the car to swerve around it, and another section would be added to the snake, while the rest of it was lost to the dark and the fog.

The drive went on for so long that Christabel felt they had entered a completely different world, one that had nothing to do with that bustling, exciting city they'd left behind. She didn't realize she had gone to sleep until a new grinding sound under the tires woke her up. She lifted her head from Henry's shoulder and looked about in wonder. They were surrounded by snow, heaps and heaps of it shining pale under the fog. How was it that there was snow already? Then the car's headlight swept across them and she realized it wasn't snow, but sand. They had come down from the cliff and were now crunching their way through endless sand dunes, through which the wind was blowing with a lonely sound. It wasn't difficult to imagine that she was the only living being in this cold, misty desert, for Henry was still as a statue by her side, and at the front, Kas was hunched over the wheel, not making a sound either.

"Where are we?" she asked, her voice hushed. For some reason, she felt there was something lurking amongst those dunes, in the fog, and would jump out at them if it sensed them. It was silly, of course, but it still made her edge closer to her husband.

"They call it Outside Lands," replied Henry.

What a fitting name. It seemed to Christabel they were on the edge of the world, and they could drive and drive until the car ran out of petrol, and found nothing but sand and fog.

"Now, keep your eyes peeled, we'll be coming up to Creel House very soon."

Christabel sat up and tried to recall some of the excitement she'd felt when driving through the city, though the long drive through the dark and this desolate, sinister landscape had sapped her of any enthusiasm she might have. But she could sense Henry's impatience to show her his home—their home—so she did her best to conjure up some eagerness.

At last, a dark mass appeared behind the dunes, way out in the sea. "There," Henry said, pointing. The fog lifted a little, showing Christabel the sharp points of some towers or turrets and the windswept top of a grove of trees, all silhouetted against the starlit sky. She stared, not believing in her eyes. Henry had said the house was remote, but she hadn't expected it to be this remote.

"Is it—is it on an island?" she asked.

Henry laughed. "It is, sometimes," he said enigmatically and left it at that.

Christabel had her answer soon enough. The road turned into a path just barely wide enough for the car, a land bridge connecting the sand dunes with the island, and the car drove down it.

"We're lucky it's low tide tonight," Henry said, while waves lapped at the tires. "Otherwise, we'd have to take the boat." He nodded at a little rowboat moored by one of the dunes.

Rock outcrops lay in the water, scattered around the path like sea creatures emerging from the depth. In the distance, Christabel could glimpse some hulking shape, like a beached whale lying on its side, its skeletal ribs exposed to the air. She pointed at it.

"What's that?"

"Shipwrecks, darling," Henry said. "It is a veritable graveyard from here to the mouth of the bay. Ships get lost in the fog, or get pushed by the strong tides and hit the rocks just below the water. That one took most of the crew with her. They say on foggy nights like this, you can see their ghosts around the wreck, searching for their earthly bodies."

Christabel shivered, less from the macabre subject of the story and more from Henry's cheerful, casual voice. She sat away from him and tried not to pay attention to the wreck still lurking out of the corner of her eye.

It was perhaps a quarter of a mile from the shore to the island. As it reached the island, the path merged with a gravel drive that went up and around the house. The car climbed this slope, and finally, Creel House appeared in front of Christabel.

It wasn't a big house—only three stories—but the narrow façade, steep roofs, and the many gables and turrets and cupolas made it look taller than it was. The grove of trees Christabel had seen from the shore—cypress, by the look of them—stood behind it, shielding the house from the ocean, their branches all swept eastward, like a group of giants with arms desperately reaching for the shore.

Kas helped Christabel down, while Henry went on ahead to unlock the front door. "Welcome to Creel House," he said, throwing the door open with a flourish.

"Aren't you going to carry me across the threshold?" Christabel asked with a smile.

"If you insist." Henry came back down the steps, swept her up into his arms just as he had the day they met, and carried her inside.

Christabel laughed, only for the laugh to die in her throat the moment they went through the door.

The house was dark and silent. More than that, there was a strange, oppressive air about it. Some houses made you feel welcome immediately upon entering, while others kept their secrets close to their hearts, for all that they opened their doors to you. Creel House seemed to belong to this latter category. The silence was deafening, as though the house were listening, waiting, ready to spring something nasty on the unsuspecting visitor. But she was not a visitor, was she? She was the mistress.

"Where is everybody?" she asked, taking off her hat and gloves. She put them on the side table by the door and noticed a layer of dust on it. No doubt the housework had been neglected while Henry was away. She made a mental note to speak to the housekeeper about it.

"Who do you mean?" Henry struck a match and lit a lamp set on the table. The lamp flared to life, illuminating a staircase leading to the upper floor and a long corridor leading to the back of the house. A stained glass window overlooked the stairs, and Christabel recognized the rose featured in its center, a perfect, enlarged reproduction of the pendant she wore on her neck.

"The staff. The other servants."

"There are no other servants. Kas is all there is."

"Oh." She was slightly taken aback, but Henry's answer wasn't completely shocking. Now that she thought about it, he'd never mentioned any servants. As a bachelor, he probably didn't need more. "He does everything, even the cooking and the cleaning?" she asked.

"Yes. He's more than adequate."

"I'm sure he is, but that was when you were a bachelor. You're married now. I'm going to need a lady's maid, at the very least."

"For what?"

"Well, to help me get dressed and do my hair and other things," Christabel explained, trying to stay patient.

"Nonsense. You can't even dress yourself? What are you, a child?"

Henry's dismissive tone annoyed her. "I'd like to see you lace yourself into a corset!" she snapped.

He shrugged. "Fine, we'll talk about it later. For now, I need a good long sleep in a bed that doesn't move."

He sauntered upstairs without a look back, leaving his bride standing forlornly in the hallway, surrounded by dust and darkness. Was that a quarrel? They had been married for less than a week, and already had at least two quarrels that she could remember. Christabel sighed. Clearly, married life was going to take some getting used to.

Kas appeared from the corridor, a candle in his hand.

"I'm sorry about the state of the house, Mrs. Creel," he said. "Mr. Creel doesn't care about such things... I'll get everything cleaned up by tomorrow."

"It's all right, Kas." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"If you'd follow me, I'll show you to your room."

He led the way up the stairs, down a corridor framed by pointed arches, like those in a church, an impression that was heightened by the dark, medieval-looking paintings that loomed in the shadow of the arches and the chill, vault-like air that permeated the whole house. The room Kas showed Christabel into was of a good size, though it was as dark and oppressive as the rest of the house, with heavy mahogany furniture and velvet draperies. Kas set down the candle and a box of matches on a chest of drawers, and she saw that he had brought her cases up and had even laid out a tray of tea and cookies.

"I only came back this afternoon so I haven't been able to get fresh milk," he said apologetically, "but there's sugar if you want. The bathroom is through there"—he pointed to a door at the other end of the room—"and I've lit the boiler, so the water should be hot for your bath."

His talk of groceries reminded her of something else. "How do you manage the shopping and everything, with your—your condition?" she asked.

He stood up straight, squaring his shoulders. "I manage just fine, ma'am. I haven't had any complaints from Mr. Creel."

"No, that's not what I meant." She didn't want him to think she was a harsh, demanding type of mistress, like her mother. "Only—I hope it isn't too much trouble for you, having to go out in the sun."

"Oh." His eyes softened. "No, I don't have to. I put in a standing order to a store in town and they make deliveries." He added, "I know it seems we're at the edge of civilization here, but downtown is only ten miles away. And when electricity and telephone lines are extended to this side of the city, we'll catch right up with the rest of them."

She knew he was trying to reassure her, and she nodded. "Of course. Thank you."

At that moment, a faint sound came through the window—a doleful wail, like that of a dying animal. Two sharp ones came in quick succession, followed by a third and a fourth, lower, but still audible over the rushing of the sea.

She turned to Kas, eyes wide in fear. To her surprise, he was smiling. "It's the foghorns over at Mile Rock to warn the approaching ships," he explained. "Just one of the things you'll have to get used to while living here." He turned to go, but something made him linger at the door. "Are you sure you'll be all right?" he asked.

Through her fatigue and frustration, she still detected the genuine concern in his voice, and it touched her. "Yes, I'm sure," she said, trying to smile.

"Good night then."

"Good night."

After a cup of sugary tea and a hot bath, Christabel felt slightly better. No doubt she and Henry were both tired and irritable due to the long journey. It wasn't the best time to have a discussion of their household arrangement. All that could wait until the next day.

Even so, she couldn't stop the disappointment from clouding her mind just like the fog out there. This was her wedding night—her proper wedding night—and her husband hadn't even had the courtesy to see her to her room, let alone show an inclination to spend it with her. Why, she didn't even know which room he was in.

Tomorrow, she decided, trying to chase the gloomy thoughts away. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

Before getting into bed, she opened the curtains to let in some fresh air. Her room looked over the grove of cypress trees, and beyond it, the little beach behind the house, a crescent of sand gently sloping toward the sea. At the far end of the beach rose a white tower—a lighthouse. As she watched, Christabel spied Kas walking into the lighthouse, and a moment later, a little light came on at the window. So that must be where he lived. Somehow it made her feel safer, knowing he was out there, keeping watch.

Picking up her candle, she turned toward the bed. As her gaze swept across the window, her eyes caught something outside, and fear seized her heart.

Dark figures—she could not tell if they were male or female, or even how many of them there were, but they were definitely human—were hovering by the cypress grove.

They say on foggy nights like this, you can see their ghosts around the wreck, searching for their earthly bodies.

A cold sweat broke out over her body. She ran to the window and peered into the mist-shrouded darkness, but she couldn't see anything except for silvery patches of fog that swirled and twisted around darker patches of night. Then came a gust of wind, blowing the fog away, and the cypresses stood clear and silent against the starry sky. There were no figures underneath them.

Had they really been there at all? Or was it just her fatigue and the fog playing tricks on her eyes?

Christabel stood by the window for a while longer, but nothing moved amongst the cypresses. Eventually, when the candle in the lighthouse went out, she blew out her own candle, closed the curtains, and climbed into the cold bed. There, she curled up under the pile of quilts that smelled faintly of dust and tried to slow the hammering of her heart, until she sank into an uneasy sleep.

Chapter 6

A/N: Outside Lands was the old name for the area around Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. It was largely undeveloped in the early 1900s, but nowhere near as desolate as I made it out to be though. I based Creel House on Cliff House (specifically the second one, which was built in 1896), only I put it on a tidal island to make it even more remote.

[sh1nch1r0]

𝕯𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝕭𝖆𝖉

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Ran Haitani x Reader

After a Stressful Day both if u needed relief and the best relief u could get was from ur soon to be Husband,who was also one of Japans most feared Men.But he treated u like u were a Rare Sparkling and Expensive Crystal.

Tw:NSFW,BDSM,Heavy Smut,Bondage,cursing

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

U waited outside of the building where your Fiancé had his meeting.Ur work place was not far from it so Ran wanted u both to ride home together.All of a sudden u felt a soft touch on your back and Ran kissed ur cheek.

“Hello Darling”he whispers in your ear.Which mage u giggle.

“Wanna go home?”Ran asked.”Yes please my day was so stressful” he just nodded to what u said and guided u to his car.

The Drive to your House was silent,because the day was stressful for both you and your Fiancé .

The first thing both of u did at home was changing into more comfortable clothes.U unhooked ur bra in ur way too big walk in closet which Ran insisted to have in ur house.The memories of moving in with ran flooded ur mind.

U were so lost in tought that u did not realise that he was standing behind u,both of ur reflections looked back at you in the big mirror.

“U look so beautiful” Ran said and kissed ur shoulder.

Your eyes were closed as u felt him touch ur body.His hands felt like home to you.These hands were cruel,but not to you.

But the moment of peace did not last as u felt his cold hands cup ur breasts.Which made ur nipples hard.

“Ur always so needy for me Baby”his voice was deeper now,he always knew how to get u turned on.

“Ran please i need u”a whimper fell from ur lips as u plead for him.U waited the whole week for this cause u were in deep need of some stress relief and ur soon to be husband.

U felt something around ur wrist.As u opened ur eyes ur hands were bound with Rans tie.

He just smiled and guided us to ur shared bed.

U wanted to protest but Ran pressed his lips against yours before u could say something.The kiss was deep and u were both hungry for each other.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

He parted from your lips and he kissed his way to your panties,which landed quickly on the floor of ur bedroom.

His lips brushed ur wet slit which made u moan in response.

Ran pushed his tounge into u and ur hands gripped his lilac hair,his speed increased which made the knot in ur lower belly tighter.After a few seconds u came in Rans Mouth.

You were like aphrodisiac to Ran he was so drunk for you and your pussy.

“U taste so good baby” the man praised you.

He crawled onto you and kissed you.

“Just fuck me Ran” a moan fell from your lips which made him chuckle u were so needy form him and he liked that.

He positioned his hard cock on your entrance and pushed inch for inch into you.U always forget how big he is.

Ur mind was already so drunk from Sex,the thrusts were deep and long.

The tempo increased and u were so close to ur orgasm.

“Ran…ngh..please i am c..oming”u moaned directly into his ear,in response ran sped up his tempo even more which made u see stars.

“Yes Baby,come for me…hmm come for me”he pants and a low grunt escapes him as he feels his orgasm creeping closer.

His Tip was now hitting ur cervix and u cried out in pain,but everything numbed and ur ears started to ring as ur orgasm rolled over u.Ran came too and u could feel his hot cum pooring inside of u.

“Fuck…baby….this was good” he says and gives u a kiss to ur forehead.

“Lets get u cleaned up honey”and with that he pulled himself out and lifted u in his arms.

Ur ears were still ringing and ur mind could not function right but as the hot bath water touched ur skin u came a bit to ur senses.

“I’m here behind u if u need me baby….relax yes?” says the man behind u and kisses ur shoulder softly

Ran Haitani could Destroy you in one moment and in the other he was the best and romantic man on this planet.And thats why u love him so much.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

[forensicated]

Smiffina Episodes: Lifesaver [Set 2 canon weeks after the last episode of Gun Runner]

Sally and Ben are first on scene at a hit and run with Roger, Tony and Callum as back up. Witnesses say the car was a red Alpha Romeo driven by a dark haired smart young guy. They also have a partial index which Smithy tries to find on CCTV. Gina spots it and they get the full index. It's registered to Ryan Davidson who leases it via his employer. Only Ryan was made redundant a week ago and should have returned the car. They find CCTV proving it's the car but it doesn't show him behind the wheel of it.

Ryan claims to be getting dressed for work when they arrive and that he'd had a late night to celebrate landing a big deal at work. Tony finds a hipflask in his suit jacket. Ryan admits he owns the car and Tony tells him he matches the description of the driver though Ryan claims he left it at work the night before so it must have been stolen. He initially refuses a breath test until Callum says it's procedure to test the owner to do one after an accident, especially given he matches the description of the driver. Tony points out they should report the car being stolen too whilst they're at it so it can be dusted for prints when found. Callum tells them they know he's lying about having to go work and his breath test reading is positive.

Ryan insists his car was stolen and this is all one big waste of time. Gina tells him to calm down because his attitude isn't helping anyone, especially him. He tells Gina he's sober as a judge and it's a big fuss over nothing. Gina doesn't call a hit and run where the victim is lucky to be alive nothing. She tells Smithy to take a second breath test from him and "then we can all see how sober you really are."

Callum's not in the greatest of moods after that morning but it worsens when Heaton asks for the risk assessments of Emma's death from him and Gina. Both tell him the paperwork is on their desk and they'll get it to him by the end of the day. He tells them that they have to account for every decision they made so it's best to do it whilst it's still reasonably fresh in their minds (never mind the fact she almost lost Smithy a fortnight ago (and that he'd been in serious danger for a monthish before that!) and that this episode is 1 week shy of it being 3 months since Emma's death! Poor Gina!) Callum goes to check on the case, telling Roger that the second breath test was under the llimit. If Kim can't ID the driver they have nothing.

The victim, Caitlin, has potentially serious head injuries and Ben has identified a problem. The 'mother', Kim said Caitlin had no allergies but luckily before giving her any medication the medics found an alert bracelet telling them she's allergic to penicillin. It could have been very dangerous! She's also calling Caitlin by the wrong surname. Sally goes through her phone and finds a picture of Caitlin and a different woman entitled 'me and mum'. Kim does a runner after realising that they're on to her. Ben catches her and brings her in.

Ben tells Sally and Gina the situation is further complicated the results of Kim's PNC check. She's been missing for 6 months after her son died in a boating accident. She could be the main witness to the accident and the only one who can identify the driver so it's imperative they find out who she is.

Sally reassures Kim she's not under arrest but asks why she said she was Caitlin's mum. She says she never told anyone she was, that they presumed and she didn't correct them. She said that she heard the girl use her mobile and learnt her name that way. Ben gently tells her that they know she's a missing person and just so they're 100% sure they have the right person, can she confirm her husband's name? She does and that her son was called James but known as Jamie. Sally suggests she saw a girl who needed her mum and stepped up. She says she's lived on cash in hand cleaning jobs and her savings. They have to tell her husband she has been found but they don't have to tell him where she is and she doesn't have to see him. Kim insists she can't see him and they reassure her but admit they do need to ID the driver of the car and she is their best shot as she saw him.

Callum reassures Sally that Kim won't be charged with anything as she's been through enough and wasn't behaving maliciously. There's been no answer on the number for Caitlin's parents however so they're going to visit the house. At the house they find a young man stocking up for a party. He tells them that he's Caitlin's boyfriend and that her parents are away for 24 hours whilst they have a birthday party for her 18th. He sends them to Caitlin's gran for the address whilst he goes to the hospital. At Caitlin's grans house they find the her at the foot of the stairs with a bruised cheek, holding her shoulder. She tells Callum that she fell downstairs but her front room has been ransacked. Callum sends Ben to do a door to door.

Kim recognises Ryan as the driver of the car via WADS and Smithy and Tony interview him. He claims he has a lot on his mind, his life is falling apart and he didn't do it on purpose. He wanted to get home but he couldn't avoid her stepping out to run away from the older woman after they'd been arguing. He claims he panicked and sped home. Tony tells Sally that he's claiming Caitlin ran out after arguing with Kim. Sally says it's rubbish and they'd only met that morning. Tony goes to get the CCTV from the cafe to check. Just after Ben tells Sally what they found at Caitlin's gran's house and that a neighbour reported seeing a woman driving a blue car and matching Kim's description visiting and it looks like she assaulted the woman.

Sally and Ben find her soon after and have to arrest her. Tony shows Gina the CCTV that shows Caitlin and Kim arguing and Caitlin running away. Sally runs Kim's fingerprints and finds an old record for arson under the surname Wickham - the same surname as Caitlin's grandma.

Kim's husband Dave insists he wants to know where she is. He's heartbroken at losing Kim as well as his son and that 2 weeks ago it was the year anniversary. He'd been in the water for 10 minutes before they realised he was missing. Gina tells him she can't let him see her without Kim's permission but she'll pass on the message that he understands and would have escaped the pain too if he could. He admits that she'd cut her past out and wouldn't talk about her family or old friends and would say the past doesn't matter only the present.

Sally and Ben are very gentle with Kim as they try to interview her but she is distressed and sobs throughout, not answering questions. Ben tells her they have fingerprints from the house and that if they match she'll be charged. Her solicitor suspends the interview and Gina wants the FME to check her over because she fears for a nervous breakdown. Tony reports Kim spent time in a young offenders institute for arson and that she was 6 months pregnant at the time of arrival and gave birth to a girl. "Don't tell me, exactly 18 years ago." "To the day, ma'am." "Kim's her bloomin' mother isn't she!" Gina sighs and sends them back to the hospital to talk to Caitlin about Kim.

Caitlin says she didn't know her but she let her sit with her in the cafe. She was nice but then started to ask weird questions about her family. She left and the woman grabbed her arm and said 'happy birthday' to her. She continued leaving the cafe and she wouldn't leave her alone. She was about to cross the road when she heard the woman say 'i never stopped loving you'. She turned to face her and she said 'I'm your mum'. Caitlin ran away and woke up in hospital. Caitlin asks them who the woman is, they tell her to wait for her mum to arrive... she works out that the woman is telling the truth.

Gina has made a family tree to explain to the officers what is going on. Lorna - Caitlin's gran - has two daughters. One is Kim. Her eldest is Trisha who brought Caitlin up as her own and they'd kept it secret in the family. Kim's file says that she surrendered the baby to her mother's care until she was released but there's nothing about what happened after release. Callum speaks to Lorna and explains that he knows it's complicated but they do now know who it was who was in the house and that Kim was present when Caitlin had her accident and from that and the hit and run investigation she has worked out the truth. Lorna apologises and says she wished she'd told them at the time. Trisha is with her and tells her mother that they should have told Caitlin before now about her real mother. Lorna explains that Kim was a difficult child and constantly had police at the door. There'd been no contact since she handed her over until that day. Lorna did fall down the stairs but Kim didn't help her, she went through drawers to find Trisha's address to see her daughter. Trisha wants her charged and Lorna agrees as Trisha claims Kim's not safe to be around Caitlin. Sally takes Trisha to see Caitlin but she has left the hospital and been gone about an hour. She wasn't discharged and the hospital want her back. Trisha growls that she's her daughter and that they should never have told her about Kim.

Tony and Ben find Caitlin's boyfriend with a bag . She doesn't want to be found or to see the police or her family. Ben tells him how important it is that she returns to the hospital to be monitored. He tells them that she's heading to Liverpool once she gets her things and he's waiting for a call to know where to take her bag. He agrees to let them take him to her and Tony gently encourages her back.

Gina watches as Kim is bailed. Sally is not happy, she tells Gina that Kim needs more help as she's not safe to be on her own. Gina tells her the FME has seen her and said she can be bailed and reminds her there's a limit to what they can do. They're not medics, psych's or social workers and can only uphold the law. The FME has referred her to her GP for ongoing care. Sally wants her to be with people who care about her. Gina points out she left the man that Sally wants to reunite her with 6 months ago, it could be for more reasons than the sons death and that Kim has refused to see him. She orders her out her office and looks down, only for Emma's death paperwork to be staring back at her.

Ben and Sally rush to the scene when Kim's car is reported at Jamaica Wharf with a distressed female inside. Gina takes Callum with her and follows them to the scene. Gina tells Sally not to approach and to wait for backup but she ignores her and approaches Kim and begs her to talk to her. Sally says she wants to help her but Kim shakes her head and tells her she keeps messing up and she wants it to stop hurting. She lost both her children and she can't get over it. Sally promises her that they need time but they can get over it. She tells Sally that she's so tired and she'll stop it now. Sally thinks she's calmed down and goes to get in the car but Kim drives off into the water.

Ben goes for a lifebelt, Callum calls for help from the RNLI and Marine Support Unit. Sally starts undressing. Gina tells her not to and that if she disobeys her she can kiss goodbye to her job. Sally throws her warrant card at her and tells her she's quit before jumping in the water. Callum starts to undress too as Gina begs him not to but he replies "I can't just stand here, can I?!" and jumps in. Sally and Callum fight to try and break the window to get Kim out He manages to get in but Kim is too scared and unable to undo her seatbelt. Gina shouts at them to get out as the car starts going under the water. Callum pulls Sally back as the car slips fully under. They look at each other, take a deep breath and dive under leaving a terrified Gina on the dock watching. Ben runs back with the life belt and starts to undress too but Gina physically stops him and drags him against her so he can't, smacking his arms in her upset before hugging him and almost crying. Thankfully Callum and Sally finally surface straight after with Kim. Ben throws them the lifebelt and helps haul them to the dock.

😥😥😥😥😥

"That was a close one, eh Ma'am?" "You are both lucky to be alive! That was STUPID AND DANGEROUS!" She shouts back and walks away, telling them she's going for the ambulances when really she's going to hide her tears from them. It appears this might be where Gina has finally realised that she can't handle the job in the same way she used to and that it's been heading this way for a good year.

Gina tells her to meet them in her office once they've gotten changed. Sally tells Callum that she was the only one who could help her and she couldn't let her go. She makes out she assessed the risk and wouldn't have done it if she didn't think she could. Callum tells her the risk assessing is bollocks, he knows she just jumped in and to hell with it. He tells her she was brave and that it was the right thing to do whatever Gina says. Ben chuckles and hugs her and calls her a nutter, walking her back to the cars.

Sally tells Kim that her mum has dropped the assault charge. She never knew about Jamie and Kim tells Sally she just wanted to see her daughter and do the right thing for once. She tells her she'll call Dave, her husband, and work with the doctors for her mental health.

Gina orders Sally and Callum into her office and tells them their behaviour was an outrageous breach of health and safety rules, dangerous, reckless and grossly insubordinate. Heaton tells them they got lucky this time but it could have gone the other way and they could be speaking to their next of kin, having a whip round and writing the eulogies. He gives Sally her warrant card back and tells her to go to the pub because there are people there waiting to buy her a drink. He then tells Callum 'well done'. Callum apologises to Gina for disobeying a direct order. "That won't happen again." "Not long ago I'd have been in there with you or shouting encouragement from the sidelines. Do you know what it's all about?" she asks, opening the folder on her desk to reveal a picture of Emma and the report Heaton had asked for. "I just couldn't face filling in another one of these." She thanks him and he leaves, shutting the door behind him to reveal Gina almost in tears the other side.

[percontaion-points]

TBWSIMBW chapter 19

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 19

“How have you been, Amber? I’ve been trying to see you for years but your brother wouldn’t let me,” he stated, sneering on the word brother. 

He’d been trying to see me and Jake didn’t tell me? Why the hell wouldn’t he tell me something like that? Knowing Jake, he probably thought he was protecting me. I looked at Johnny’s mother for help; she was putting the medicine bottle back now. 

“I’ve been fine, thank you,” I answered. I glanced down at my phone, it was still trying to connect, Johnny wasn’t answering. Damn it! 

STOP MAKING POLITE CONVERSATION AND STOP TRYING TO HAVE OTHER PEOPLE SAVE YOU!! FUCKING LEAVE!!

 I came here in Johnny’s car so I didn’t want to just run out of the house with nowhere to go.

Literally anything else would be better than a man who made it perfectly clear right now that he’d like you in his bed. 

“I’m going. You coming, Liam?” Jake asked, heading for the door. Oh hell no! I couldn’t let them get in trouble! 

Liam lifted me off of his lap and sat me on the sofa. “Watch her,” he said to Johnny sternly, as he stood up to leave.

The dude still doesn’t know what’s going on, and took Amber around their shitty, rapist father. AND YOU WANT JOHNNY TO BABYSIT AMBER AS SHE HAS A PANIC ATTACK?!

“He’s doing it again. He’s hit Johnny and his mom a few times,” Jake growled, looking disgusted. Damn it! I told Jake we should have called the police instead of just kicking him out, but he insisted he didn’t want Amber to go through that. And now he was doing it to someone else!

To the surprise of literally nobody… 

I’d like the record to state that if Jake and Amber had told Johnny how shitty that his step-dad was from the get-go, they could have avoided ALL of this.

“My mom was talking about leaving him last year. Then we moved here instead. She said it was a fresh start and that we should all start over, but it hasn’t helped,” Johnny said sadly.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but moving isn’t going to magically resolve your problems. If your husband is beating you in City A, he’s still going to beat you in City B. 

If anything, moving is probably going to make things worse. Because now you’re in a new place, where you likely don’t know anybody. This is to the benefit of your abuser, who wants you so isolated, with nowhere to go. 

“I’m not feeling well, so I’m not going. I’ve asked Casey to drive you because Liam’s with the scouts,” he said quietly. 

Uh-huh. Amber is stupider than I thought if she believes that Liam is “meeting with scouts” and her brother is “sick”. 

“Yeah? Johnny’s sick too. He called me this morning,” Kate said, pouting.

I would be screaming “DANGER, DANGER!!” But like… They’re going to go kick their shitty dad’s ass again. So I kind of don’t care. 

My stomach felt queasy and I couldn’t even force anything down for lunch. Great, now I’m getting sick! 

The reviews warned that this was coming, so excuse me if I go and preemptively beat my head against the wall. 

“Everything’s OK now. Don’t worry, he can’t hurt you anymore,” I said sternly.

Except for when he comes home and his wife and children are gone, and goes storming over to the place where he used to live to try and find them. (Because Amber and Jake have been living in the same house their father bought.)

Like yes, the leaving aspect is the hardest part. But you’re not out of the woods yet. 

Damn, I was so hot! My lips and fingers were tingling; I started to feel a little dizzy.

Chapter 19 summary: Both Stephan and Ruby are surprised to see Amber in their house. Ruby says that they came home early because Matt is sick. She starts to tend to the baby. The absolute nanosecond she’s gone, Stephan tries to hit on his daughter again. Amber knees him and runs up to Johnny’s room, where she has a panic attack. Without understanding what’s going on, Johnny is quick to get her out of there. 

Back home, she tells Liam and Jake what happened, and has to stop them from going over there to beat Stephan up again. She falls asleep in Liam’s arms, and then we have a POV switch. As she’s asleep, Johnny confesses that Stephan has been beating up on him and his mum… But not the baby… Yet. Liam and Jake swear Johnny to secrecy around Amber; that it would only make her even more upset than she already is. 

Later, Amber gets the feeling that Johnny, Liam, and Jake are keeping secrets from her. One day, all three of them make some paper-thin excuse about not being able to go to school that day. When Amber gets home from school, she finds Ruby and Matt there, along with a bunch of suitcases. They explain that they helped Ruby to pack everything up while Stephan was away on a business trip. 

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: It's Just the Sound of a Newspaper Hitting the Ground

In season two of "Better Call Saul", Mike's daughter-in-law has been very anxious since her husband's death (as he was killed in a setup). She constantly feels insecure. She lives with her daughter Kaylee in a rundown house. Sometimes she needs to go to work but also has to take care of Kaylee, so Mike often comes over to help look after Kaylee. One day, Mike sees her looking troubled in the kitchen and wants to know what's wrong. She claims she's been hearing gunshots every night recently, starting from far away but getting closer in the past few days. The most recent time, she felt it was just outside their house. Out of caution, Mike sat in his car outside her house all night - he wanted to see what the nighttime gunshots really were. Around 2-3 AM, a car drove by slowly, and Mike also heard some popping sounds. Then he realized it was actually the newspaper delivery car, and the popping sounds were just the newspaper being thrown from the car onto the ground. It wasn't gunshots, and there were no bad guys. Everything was because she was too nervous. She was so anxious that she mistook the sound of newspapers hitting the ground for gunshots.

The next day, while Mike was at work, he received a call from his daughter-in-law telling him she found bullet holes in the exterior wall of the house. Mike rushed over to check and found it was just a hole in the wall, possibly drilled earlier by an electrician, not a bullet hole at all. But she was still very nervous, insisting that what she heard were gunshots and that the hole in the wall was indeed a bullet hole. In this situation, telling her that the nighttime gunshots were just newspapers being thrown to the ground wouldn't help. She firmly believed someone was firing guns near her house and that someone wanted to harm her. At this point, the smart approach would be for Mike to find someone to act with him - that person would play the shooter, and then Mike's daughter-in-law would see Mike subdue him. Only this could dispel her psychological demon.

Basically, this is the method used by Buddhist masters. From Shakyamuni Buddha to the masters of various lineages that followed, they all used this method to guide sentient beings. In Buddhism, you can't tell those who are suffering that everything is just their imagination, that nothing truly exists, so they needn't suffer. At least not at the beginning and for a long time afterward. If you start by telling them that the plate they eat from has never existed, that they themselves have never existed, and that the people troubling them have never existed, they'll just think you're crazy. This doesn't solve their problem at all. You can only first agree with their view. If they think there's a monster under the bed, you must first agree with them and then work together to drive the monster away. Only this can help them relax. That's why Buddhism talks about karma, hell, merit, and attainments. Buddhism acknowledges everything that the mundane world acknowledges. If you say this flower exists, that swimming pool exists, this pencil case exists, Buddhist masters won't say they don't exist. They'll pretend to agree with your view. They'll pretend to be like you, believing that everything exists. Then, on the basis of you believing everything exists, they'll slowly help you understand that nothing has ever existed. But actually, there were no gunshots, no one ever fired a gun, it was just the sound of newspapers hitting the ground.

This article was first published on January 5, 2021, on Lingshan Hermit's Sina Weibo, Google Blogger, and other self-media platforms. All rights reserved. Infringement will be prosecuted.

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灵山居士：那只是报纸着地的声音

[trying2cope]

My ex husband had reported me.

I realized after I published the last post you're going to need some context. I hadn't wanted to give it because this is the story of Master, not my ex husband, but it's necessary to understand the situation and to understand the state of my kids and myself.

My ex husband was abusive. Mainly mentally, verbally, and emotionally, but he also put his hands on me. One time, just a few months before we left he threw me down on the bed and slapped and slapped me... in front of both of our children.

My daughter was still having nightmares.

It was an international marriage and I'd moved to his country. So I was totally isolated, no family for literally thousands of miles. I had a few friends I'd made in my new home country but he was financially abusive too so I had no money to even call a cab to get to them. I did not have a car. When he demanded the divorce and I let my local best friend in on what had been happening she'd pressed the equivalent of $100 into my hand and said "hide it from him, so he doesn't know and you can use it to get away if you need to"... But a few weeks later it went missing. I thought he'd found it and stolen it. I found my wallet, which is where I'd put it, in the trash and had cried.

My parents were terrified. They and other loved ones back in my home country urged me to leave everything but the kids and our passports and get to the airport anyway we could and fly home. I did technically have credit cards in my name, though I didn't physically have them in my possession I could get the numbers and buy tickets online.

But I had been a SAHM or wife for ten years. I had no work history, no money, no assets. And he was promising if I went along with his plans and cooperated he would buy the plane tickets, let me take most of my belongings in suitcases and give me money to set up a new home in my home country. We owned a home there and it would be all mine. We had bought it only a few months before I had found out about his affair. We had talked about all moving there together. We had at around the same time purchased his parents a condo in his country. The way I saw it he got one to keep the condo and I got the house and it was basically even. They cost within $5k of each other, so it was basically an equal division of assets. That seemed fair.

I also had pets. We had two cats and a dog. The dog, poor puppy, I needed to find a home for-- my ex had kicked and hit the poor thing even as I pleaded for him to stop. "He needs to know who is Alpha," my ex had growled, a feral light in his eyes.

"No," I, who had had many dogs in my life, "it will only make him vicious!" But he ignored me and of course I was right. He had grown vicious, confused and feeling unsafe. He would switch back and forth between being a very sweet and loving dog to biting with very little warning. My poor toddler got bitten the most and my ex wanted to drive him out into some random neighborhood and dump him.

"He'll calm down if we'd neuter him," I pleaded. I hoped if he was neutered he'd be calm enough to train enough he'd not be dangerous to re-home and he'd have a chance at a good life elsewhere. But my ex didn't want to "waste" the money. Meanwhile he upgraded his PC and bought a VR headset and a Nintendo Switch.

When he insisted on the divorce, I insisted weeuter the dog to re-home him and he finally did it. I asked a dog lover in our apartment complex for help and we had to get him into his crate and he snarled and growled at the strangers who we hired to help transport him to the vet. It was so heartbreaking. But he came back neutered... But it was not a miracle cure and I was despairing we may have to put him down.

But then the same dog lover who I'd asked for help messaged me and said she knew a dog trainer she'd talked to and he'd be willing to take our dog on and rehabilitate him. It was a godsend. He came and met him and he could handle him. He talked to us and I was surprised my ex confessed to his abuse of the dog during his puppyhood. The man was non judgemental and patient and basically told my ex to do better now that he knew better and he took the pup. We, the kids and I, got to meet him a few more times before we moved. They were so heartbroken to see him go but it was a comfort to us all he had a chance now at a better life. And it was a help to me that when I had checked the pet travel law back to my home country, they weren't accepting dogs at that time. But they were accepting cats, with the appropriate paperwork.

I bought cat crates and arranged to get up to date shots and paperwork proving it for the cats, with my ex's help. The cats needed two rounds of shots. But after the first round, my male cat ran out the front door one day. This was a pain in the butt, but wasn't abnormal. We were in the midst of packing and cleaning and my ex had repairmen in the apartment fixing things. He was now living with his parents, whereas the kids and I were in the skeleton of our old apartment as furniture was being sold out from under us. I slept on a twin mattress on the bottom bunk of my kids' bunk bed. Theoretically they were supposed to be sharing the top bunk, but most nights my youngest climbed in with me so I woke up with aches and pains from crowding every morning. My bed was gone.So in this chaos, the cat slipped out. And never came back.

He'd always come back. He was an indoor cat but he darted out all the time. He'd always come back before. And I'd go out after him but... I was sick. Very sick. Bedridden sick, as were the kids, suddenly. So I was laying in bed, feverish, worrying about our cat.

Several days later when I was like 70% recovered, enough to stumble around, I went out and looked for him, but couldn't find him. Some neighbors claimed to have spotted him but it was a wild goose chase. We actively looked for 2-3 weeks, and then passively looked, posting on social media and spreading word of a reward. But he was never found. He was 9 years old and I'd had him and his sister since they were two months old. They'd both been there my entire kids' lives.

So with their parents marriage breaking up, leaving the country they were born in, leaving their dad and grandparents behind, saying goodbye to their dog and "leaving" one of their cats, I was NOT going to leave the other cat, period. It was too much loss. So while my ex was being unreasonable and kept moving the bar, cancelling plane tickets last minute on me, I persisted because I knew I needed to cooperate to get anything.

FPlus leaving with the kids without his cooperation would have technically been international kidnapping. I'd called my embassy and asked. They basically said his country wouldn't really care but international law did and my home country recognized international law so while no one would have stopped us from leaving if he'd gotten a lawyer he could possibly have gotten them taken away from me when I was in my home country... But not if I left with his blessing.

So I played along. Even though it was hard. He made me lie to the courts. We were supposed to be separated a year before filing for divorce and we were only separated for 5 months-- and maybe not technically at all, since my ex was paying for the rent at our apartment still. My lawyer said technically I should have been financially independent for a year first. But they also shrugged and said as long as neither I or my ex made a fuss no one else would. Ab

I am a religious woman and this bothered me. I talked to my pastor's wife and told her my qualms about lying. But ultimately I felt the risk of losing my kids through his anger if I waited longer was too much. That is, if I'd insisted on staying in his country until a year had actually gone by, he'd have taken vengeance, I knew it, that was his character. And right now he was letting me take the kids without any fight, but that might not stay true. Especially since it was clear his parents thought he was crazy to do so; now I know his girlfriend's urging to divorce as quickly as possible was behind his irrational behavior but at that point I was clueless and scared. I just knew if I cooperated he was promising me a lot and if I fought he'd get nasty. So I cooperated. Even when my pastor's wife called me back and told me she'd talked her husband and they'd find me somewhere safe to live with the kids if I was still refusing to lie. I felt so bad telling her I'd already signed the papers and it was in motion.

When we went to the airport my ex was his old self. Emotional, sweet. He was crying, not just saying goodbye to the kids but hugging me goodbye too. He handed me one of his credit cards, telling me to use it to feed the kids in the airports on the way over, he'd cancel it after we arrived. He paid the luggage and pet fees. He was sweet and kind and my heart bled with pain, seeing in him the sweet young man I'd married. Maybe he'd realize what he was losing. Maybe he was thinking about how we'd embraced in this airport ten years prior when I'd arrived. Maybe he would rethink everything and we'd go to counseling and save this marriage. Maybe he really did still love me as I loved him, despite his flaws. Maybe. Maybe.

We flew and changed planes and flew. My cat was very good, sitting in her crate under the seat ahead of me. My kids were less well behaved and I even had a flight attendant scold me when they'd snuck out of their seats and ran around while I was falling asleep. But finally we got to my home country and my parents embraced me. Later they told me they'd been afraid my ex would kill me and been living in terror for weeks.

I was a shell of a person. I was on 8 medications, very mentally ill. I had no real plan of how the hell I was going to do this single parenting thing.

My family helped me set up the house, driving around getting used furniture and basic appliances. I had the first lump sum of two that were my alimony. This first lump sum was going to be used to set up the home. Pots and pans and flatware and dishes and sheets and beds and a couch. Broom and mop and sponges, disinfectants and trash bags and cans. And all the other myriads of things we needed. Winter clothes because it got much, much colder here than in my ex's home country. When we first arrived at the house, there was no toilet in the bathroom. It was sitting in the middle of one of the bedrooms instead.

I cried.

We got a hotel room and in the morning when we went back it turns out that it was just a matter of getting a wax seal and reinstalling the toilet. It wasn't nearly as bad as it had semed the night before. But it hadn't been inhabited in months and was dusty and dirty. We tried to clean it but at the same time had to move in furniture and appliances and basically weren't able to give it a proper cleaning.

My parents stayed with me for a few weeks, but then they left with much hugging and crying. While I was back in my home country, the house my ex and I had purchased wasn't near my parents at all (because we couldn't afford a place near them). This hadn't seemed like a big deal when we were talking about moving here as a nuclear family, but now that it was just me being so far away from them was going to be hard, even if technically I was so much closer. Maybe especially because of that.

A month or so go by. My ex is still messaging me all the time. I am scared when he does, on edge. Now I look back and he was still controlling me. I realized though as I got distance I couldn't go back to him. It really was over. But he was trying to be friendly and I saw a possible future where we were healthy co-parents. I made a not really joke joke about I just hoped he'd never marry the woman he'd cheated because she'd been a psycho. He got mad.

A month or so later he lost the friendly mask and attacked me and basically said he was going to take custody in the future.

That's around when his ex friend showed up and told me that he'd never stopped cheating and the whole forcing me into a rush divorce was her idea. And it all made sense.

When I first asked for the child support our divorce agreement entitled me to he refused. When I pressed he sent me an itemized list of all the "expenses" he'd paid for me-- the repairmen in the apartment, the luggage and pet fees, even the meals we'd eaten on that credit card at the airport. According to him he didn't owe me a dime of child support for the next three months.

What recourse did I have? I disputed the repairmen, since he would have had to have paid them regardless of me, but he didn't budge. Eventually he did start paying child support and I was trying to work from home so I didn't have to pay for child care.

Around the time finalization of the divorce approached, I was starting to build confidence. I could do this. I could provide for my family and be a single mom. My parents were going to give me their old car and soon we'd be thriving.

And then we finalized the divorce.

And he stopped paying child support.

And I got a bad rating at work. I was working customer facing and they'd get anonymous surveys after talking to me and apparently I must have had some bad days because when my first rating came in after a few months of working I had a 4.5 out of 5. Which doesn't sound bad except I'd heard my coworkers bemoaning having a 4.8 and how would they survive? Because availability of hours and work was dependent on ratings. Suddenly I was facing a much lower paycheck because I just wasn't being given the hours.

And that's when I sunk into the depression that caused the house to be such a mess. It did not help that I'd run out of the medication I'd brought with me from his country and I was too frail to even think about trying to scale the mammoth task that was trying to find a new doctor and get new prescriptions. I was wise enough to wean off the meds as they ran out, breaking tablets in half or switching to every other day instead of daily as I neared the end of the multi month supply I'd brought with me.

I also got Covid for a few weeks there, along with the kids, just for extra few weeks of bedridden fun.

We were living on the second alimony lump sum. Which I had planned to instead spend on some sort of certification for a new better job and the deep cleaning we desperately needed and had never gotten. Instead, it paid our bills while I struggled with my brain chemistry.

I told my parents not to give me the car because I couldn't afford the insurance.

And that's the depression I was starting to crawl out of when I met Master. I had been feeling slightly better for maybe three weeks before he stood in my house and looked around and said we could fix this.

And he breathed life into me. He gave me hope for a future. I was energized enough to work on getting on a more regular schedule so I could try to improve my score at work. I cleaned up a little, but then had those three busy days...

When CPS showed up on the porch.

Because my abusive ex husband, who knew when I wasn't doing well the house got messy, had called them.

[florawjhhhhhh]

The Wife's Perspective

When I received the call from my husband’s mother, I was driving to my job interview. I hoped I can get this job. I got married right after I graduated from the university. After I got married, I still did not work outside. My husband kept on telling me that my job was being his beautiful wife. I did not need to worry about earning money or doing housework anymore because he would do everything for me. He not only worked very hard to earn money to give me a higher quality of life, but also found an experienced nanny for me so I did not need to do housework in person. To keep me from being bored at home, he always tried his best to find time to travel with me and visit my parents together. In addition, he told me that I could use his credit card to purchase everything I want. I believed that I was one of the happiest wives in the world because of my husband. However, although my husband discouraged me to work outside, I still insisted on doing so because the pressure on my husband was too much. I wished I could help him share a little.

Source:https://www.tumblr.com/glitchybitchy1996/186477195372/my-life-as-of-late (Glitchybitchy1996, 2019)

However, I received a call from my husband’s mother that my husband was in a severe car accident. His head was hit in the crash, which made him may lose some memories.

Source:https://tokerx55.tumblr.com/post/646303897926909952/classic (T.2021)

Initially, I couldn't believe it was true, but after I emailed the HR assistant to explain what had happened and drove to the hospital as fast as I could, I had to accept the truth.

My dear husband lay pale on the hospital bed, and a young lady is sat on his bedside. To my surprise, this young lady was not someone else. Instead, she was my younger sister.

Source:https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/1182961/view/ill-man-lying-on-a-bed-in-the-hospital (Gorodenkoff Productions/Science Photo Library,2023)

“Who are you? I don't think I've ever seen you before.” My dear husband raised his head to look at me. Unlike before, there was no doting in his eyes. He looks at me as a stranger.

Although I knew he lost memories, I couldn’t help to feel despair.

“I am your wife! Have you forgotten about me?” I rushed to his bed and grabbed his collar tightly.

But he just swatted my hand away rudely. “Tina is my only wife. I don’t know who you are.” I was shocked when I heard this. Tina was my younger sister, who was sitting next to him.

“I only trust my wife. I don’t want someone else to disturb our peaceful life” He said to me by putting his arm around Tina’s waist.

At that moment, I was turning from his dear wife to a thief who tried to break up their intimate relationship. Leaving his room looks like the only choice for me. I walked to the door slowly. I was not sure if I saw the smug smile at the corner of Tina’s mouth when I closed the door. 

I found that I had nowhere to go in this city. I had no income and a home of my own. I relied on my husband in the past years. Maybe I should not fall in love with men. I should have my own ability to fly outside rather than falling down at home. “Maybe now is the time to learn flying. ” I told to myself and started to make a phone call to the HR assistant.

Source:https://open.spotify.com/track/1uXbwHHfgsXcUKfSZw5ZJ0 (Beyonce,2011)

Reference:

Beyonce. (2011, January 25). Run the World (Girls). Spotify. Retrieved April 9, 2023, from https://open.spotify.com/track/1uXbwHHfgsXcUKfSZw5ZJ0

Glitchybitchy1996. (2019, July 22). my Life As of Late. Tumblr. Retrieved April 9, 2023, from https://www.tumblr.com/glitchybitchy1996/186477195372/my-life-as-of-late

T. (2021, March 21). TOKERX MUSIC. Tumblr. Retrieved April 9, 2023, from https://tokerx55.tumblr.com/post/646303897926909952/classic

[lusciakoushiro]

December

With the year coming to a close I knew I wasn't going to get everything I wanted to finish or even try done, but I still had things I could do of course.

Drawing is the easiest as I can do that anywhere. Both of the ones I did this month took from 15-20hrs start to finish. But something was going to get in my way...

At the beginning of the month I was hit by a car on my walk home from work. I managed to walk home and at the insistence of my husband went to the ER to make sure nothing was broken. Thankfully nothing was, but healing is and will take time. That said I couldn't craft because sitting normally at the table hurt my knee a lot. Even sitting at my desk at the office killed me.

Thanks to a coworker who found a step stool I could elevate my leg with a little bit, I was able at least return to drawing some.

After doing the redo of Luscia in the lake (inspired from a screenshot from LUNAR 2 Eternal Blue) I wanted to reimagine it slightly.

And this is what I came up with. Lus had just stepped into the water before turning her gaze to the moon and this is what Dem sees. I am very proud of this one, especially the scales. That took A LOT of patience.

I have been resting my leg since the accident and I finally deemed it well enough to try and sit at the table for some crafts. I will say sitting with my knee bent for two hours isn't ideal as it became very sore and super stiff. So, if I was gonna craft, I was gonna need to take breaks and the squishy I started was the best way to force breaks since I needed to wait for the paint to dry between layers.

If you guessed I was making Keith's wolf, Kosmo, than you wete correct! I have mad respect for those who do these on the regular, this was not easy. But, for my first try ever I think he came out great and super cute!

And as the year got closer to the end I wanted to draw at least one more pic.

I made a glamour inspired by Bayonetta and just had to draw it. Originally I hated it, things just looked weird, but then I doodled a chibi version (no pic to post. I haven't scanned it) and went back to it and I actually really like it now. I might change a couple shadows, but yeah, I love it.

And as of 11:30pm est, I finished my friend's FFXIV figurine I started a year ago with Nerdecrafter's Not Another Crap Kit.

I had the whole idea of making it look like he was in the middle of the lotus from Scortch. The petals are a little skewed, but I made it work with what I had. The method I had watched didn't work as the tape that the wire was attached to completely cured with the resin instead of being able to be peeled off. When it didn't work after three attempts I decided to freehand a mold and that worked more or less, I still cant quite get them to hold the bendy shape, but for my first attempt I think I did okay.

I'm so proud of myself for actually completing my New Year's resolution. It was fun and I learned a lot. Just because I don't finish something right then on the day I started doesn't mean I never will. Sometimes things just won't work and require more research or an alternative to see it through.

Here's to more art in 2023, whether it be a big project or small, stay creative! 🖤❤

[canirove]

Red & Blue | Chapter 27

Author's note: There are gonna be a bunch of time jumps on the next few chapters because I needed to speed things up a bit, so get ready to be on January on one paragraph, and June on the next 😂

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

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"Listen, everybody! It's cake time!" Declan yells. "Sing with me! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mason, happy birthday to you!"

"You have to make a wish first!" Chilly says.

"Ok... Done" Mason says, blowing the candles.

"Oh, that's the front door" Chilly says. "You better go check who it is."

"Me? Why? And who could it be this late?" Mason asks.

"Maybe a neighbour? Though we haven't made too much noise, have we?" Declan says.

"You should still go see who it is, bro" Chilly insists. "Just in case. We’ll take care of the cake."

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"Happy birthday, Mase" I say with a big smile when he opens the front door.

"What in the actual hell" he says, his eyes wide open.

"Can I come in? I think it's starting to rain."

"Sure" he says, still looking at me as if I wasn't real.

"Aren't you gonna give me a hug or something?" I say after I've taken off my coat.

"I..." he mutters. "It's you. It's really you."

"It's me, Mason" I say, putting my arms around his neck. "It's really me."

"But... How? You had a game this morning."

"I did. But I was allowed to make a quick trip to London for my boyfriend and fake husband's birthday. Perks of winning and scoring two goals."

"Two very good goals" he says, finally reacting and hugging me back. "I can't believe you are here."

"I am. At least until Monday morning. So we better use our time wisely" I say, kissing him while hearing all our friends cheer behind us.

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Due to our schedule, this year we can't make our usual trip to Paris for Valentine's Day, but we are getting together with the national team on that exact same day.

"Buenos días. ¿Qué tal estás? ¿Qué tal el vuelo?"

"Oh, that Spanish is improving, Emily" I say as I get of my car.

"I know. It's all Duolingo. Love it."

"The flight went really well, by the way" I say, answering her question.

"Wonderful! Why don't we go inside?" she says with a big smile.

When I walk into St. George's Park, I can't believe my eyes.

"Mason?"

"Happy Valentine's day, gorgeous" he says, holding a huge bouquet of red roses.

"What is this?" I say, still not believing what I have in front of me.

"Since we can't go to Paris, I thought I could still make it special. Even if everyone around us is watching, filming and taking photos."

"Well, now at least we know we'll have something to help us remember this day" I say, picking the bouquet from Mason's hands. "They are beautiful."

"You, are beautiful" he says, cupping my face and kissing me, Emily behind us letting out a very loud "aww".

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My first season with Real Madrid couldn’t have ended better. We win the league title and the Spanish cup, also known as Copa de la Reina, and now it’s time to get together with the national team again, the World Cup just around the corner. Though this time we won’t be sharing everything with the men’s team since they are playing in the US and we are playing in Canada.

“We won’t be spending your birthday together” Mason says on our way to St. George’s Park.

“We’ll survive.”

"Yeah, but it's your 30th birthday. It's a special one."

"We can always celebrate after the World Cup. And besides, it's just a number. It isn't that important."

"That sounds like something someone who is scared about getting old would say..."

"I'm not scared about getting old, you idiot" I say, hitting him in the arm. "And if I'm getting old, that means you are also getting old."

"But not as much as you."

"Keep teasing me, and I'll throw you out of the car."

"You love me too much to do that”.

"I'm starting to love you a bit less every time you open your mouth."

"Then close it. You know how to do it."

"You want me to punch you?" I say, arching a brow.

"So violent, love."

"I'm getting old, and that's what happens. You become all grumpy and angry with the world" I shrug.

"But you can still kiss me, can't you? Or is that just for young people?"

"I don't know, Mase..." I sigh. "I guess we'll have to try to be sure."

"It's gonna be disgusting, but..." he says, leaning forward.

"Very" I say. "You better be ready."

"I was born ready."

"Hi the... Oh! Sorry to interrupt" Emily says, opening the car's door. We were so focused on our little banter that we didn't realize that were already at St. George's, or that the car had stopped.

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"Mason, I should be going to bed. I'm flying to Canada tomorrow."

"I know, I know. This will only take a few minutes, I promise."

"Urgh" I say, letting him guide me to wherever he is taking me, my eyes coverer with an eye mask.

"Here. Don't move" he says, finally stopping.

"Can I take this off now?"

"You can."

"Where are we?" I say, trying to adjust to the light. "Oh, wait."

"Do you recognize it now?"

"It's... It's my secret place. Well, ours now."

"Do you remember when I came here looking for you after that article with Chilly?"

"How could I forget that" I chuckle.

"That day, when I saw you so broken... It hurt so much. In my mind I could only think one thing: I must make her smile, I don't want to see her like this ever again."

"You did make me smile" I say, remembering that day.

"And when I did, I realized something else. That I was falling in love with you."

"You... You were..."

"I know it took you a bit longer to come to that conclusion too" he says with a shy smile. "But... Yeah. That's why this place became even more special."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

"But..."

"But nothing" he says, putting a lock of my hair behind my ear, reminding me of the moment I realized I was falling in love with him. "And since we aren't going to be together on your birthday, I thought I could give you your present today."

"Mason, you didn't have to get me anything."

"It's your 30th birthday. Even if you don't care, I do, and want it to be special" he says, taking a small box from his pocket. A ring box.

"Mase..."

"Relax, I'm not gonna ask you to marry me.”

"Good" I say, letting out a big sigh.

"Why so relieved? Is that such a horrible idea?" he chuckles.

"No, no. It's just that... I don't know. We are fine like this, with our fake marriage and all that. I don't think we need an official paper or a priest telling us what we already know. That we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together."

"True" he says, giving me that smile I love so much. "Anyway, here is your present."

"Is this a fake box ring like mine?"

"Open it and you will find out."

"Oh my God, Mason" I say, seeing what is inside the box. "Are you... This is... Wow."

"I'll take that as a sign of you liking it?"

"I love it" I say, taking out the ring. It's simply beautiful.

"I wanted to get you something with a red or a blue stone, but I didn’t like anything they had. Then Lewis saw this one, and we both thought it was perfect.”

"Is this a real emerald?"

"Yep, the small diamonds too. I’m saving the big one for another occasion" he says with a cheeky smile.

"You are crazy, Mason" I say, inspecting the ring a bit closer. It looks like a flower, the emerald on the middle and little diamonds on the sides as if they were leaves.

"Crazy about you, that's correct" he says, taking the ring from my hand. "Right one?"

"Yes. We don't want people to notice and start the engagement rumours."

"Again" he laughs.

"Yes, again."

"There. Perfect."

"I love it, Mason. Thank you very much" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him.

"Happy birthday, gorgeous" he whispers in my ear, hugging me back.

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