#this is mostly just late-night ramblings
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WIP Wednesday
Thanks for the tag, @bludazey !!
This is a very rough draft for a oneshot I wrote a couple months ago. I was thinking about what Astarion’s pov might’ve looked like and this just came out of me.
(Makes a bit more sense after reading the first part, but probably not necessary.)
They all play by the campfire. Someone tells a joke and the others laugh. Some push and shove, petty fights devolving into chasing around the fire.
Astarion is no stranger to fools. He’d spent the better part of the last two hundred years luring them. And by the gods, they all act like fools, but none of them would’ve taken his bait.
All of them are stronger than they seem. Smarter.
And yet, they look to one before the rest. Their fearless leader.
Who is so very different from them. So different, it’s painful. How did she become leader? She pretends to be good and kind and the others eat up her whole charade. She plays as one of them, and once she’s done enough to cement her status, she falls back.
Different from the others indeed, but so painfully familiar.
But her performance is pitiful. She blunders through half of her interactions. Even now, she sits and simply watches the fire instead of maintaining her status. How does she do it?
How can she put so little effort in and still reap the rewards?
It’s unfair.
It’s unfair that she is who he must target. Because she has the others wrapped around her little finger and if he could attach himself to her, the others would be forced to keep him.
It’s unfair that his target has become his opponent. That she understands that this is a game and yet she’s so horrendous at it. She treats him as if any of this is real. She acknowledges the game, and yet she still plays it on the same terms.
It’s insulting. She thinks she can beat him without even trying.
It’s infuriating that he doesn’t even know what she wants from him. Why does she bother? He has nothing more to give than his daggers in battle. He’s used to using his body as a bargaining chip, but he’d rather not go there yet. He can hardly stand speaking to her, much less sleeping with her. They’re both fake, but at least when he flaunts it around, it’s funny, another lure.
She’s given so much: her sword, her “kind” words, her blood. All he can do now is wait for her to collect her favors and hope he can endure them. He must, after everything he’s done.
What’s the worst she could ask of him?
She stands now, moving and jumping and calming the wizard. Then she scurries away in Astarion’s direction.
So he fixes himself, unassuming, yet enticingly up to no good, ready for the next round of the game.
She stands before him, silent. Astarion takes the lead and throws out a witty line.
But she doesn’t respond as she should. Instead, she stumbles through the dance. How can someone be so arrogant? Does she not see him as someone worthy of tricking? Why bother with him at all, if that’s the case.
Though, it’s not exactly stumbling. She seems more like she’s in a daze, eyes staring far beyond him.
How peculiar.
So he invites her to sit, to properly begin the game. Yet she still won’t participate, only sitting and staring. Honestly, why is she even here if she isn’t going to play?
He prompts her once more, and then there she goes, acknowledging the game to his face. “I’m not in the mood for games tonight.” It’s mockery. It can’t be anything else. How can she say such things and pretend they hold no weight?
He keeps his annoyance firmly beneath his mask, and prompts more conversation. As long as she’s talking, she’s giving him information. If she talks long enough, maybe there will be something of use.
Finally, she gives him something to work with, saying, “Because I need to be alone.”
But what is he supposed to do with that? Is that supposed to be some kind of poorly-formed innuendo? What does she want from him? He’s known both wolves and sheep in his long unlife, but she doesn’t fit perfectly into either category.
She is watchful, like him. She knows exactly what to say and do to keep the others content. She has the senses to sniff out other predators in her midst. Yet she acts so pathetic, brazenly displaying all her vulnerabilities to the world. Especially when there is nothing for her to gain from it. It’s like she’s asking to be devoured. It would’ve been so easy to deliver her to Cazador.
But sheep don’t ask to be slaughtered.
So it all must be an act.
And the act is flawless, which is what pisses him off the most. He can’t get a solid grip on what exactly her true intentions may be. He senses nothing malicious, but nothing quite altruistic either. Like she has no intentions at all.
Infuriating, but he still plays his part. “And yet you’ve come to me,” he muses, an indirect attack.
Her elaboration reveals nothing. Why is this the narrative she’s chosen? Playing the poor, broken soul. How can she acknowledge his nature and still pretend she wants, what? His pity? It’s a hilariously ridiculous ploy. He must not be seeing the whole picture because what could she possibly gain from his pity?
They have a quick back and forth. Presence seems to return to her as she bickers with him. It’s an easy role for him to fall into, the sarcastic, comedic companion.
But then she says something baffling, as she always does. “I don’t mind that you’re looking for weaknesses. Something to use against me, should the need arise. It’s alright.”
On his last nerve, he decides to play her game, to dance around in the truth. “And isn’t that fascinating?”
She has the gall to play stupid. “What is?”
He’s had enough of this. He pushes in with a direct attack, answering, “That you would put yourself at a disadvantage for seemingly no good reason.”
She shrinks away, in what he can only assume is offense. But then she speaks, insisting on her ridiculous story. “Oh. It won’t matter in the end. I’ll likely give you whatever you’re angling for regardless of what cards you play. The flirting and scheming really is a waste of your time. It’s all rather unnecessary.”
The words scream defense, like his blow landed how he intended, but all he can read is that incessant hopeless act. He’s going to rip out his hair at this rate. How can she be like this?
“And you’d just give me whatever I want for nothing in return?” He practically screams.
Then she drops her face into her hands, crying. Her tears seem so eerily real… He can almost believe that she’s being genuine. But who could say the things she says and not be lying? Who could reveal themselves like that so foolishly? She just goes on and on about how weak and pathetic she is. But one line settles uncomfortably in him like a putrid rat.
“Please,” she sobs, begging, pleading, “please use me kindly.”
She says the words like she’s staring into the open maw of the wolf. A lamb waiting to be sacrificed on the altar. So utterly complacent in her own slaughter.
Like she’s already dead.
The realization is like ice sliding down his back. She hasn’t been playing at all. She’s been humoring him. Standing in the rain as the storm rolls in, ready to be swept away.
She’s so ready to be swallowed whole, yet now she begs the wolf for mercy, putting her fate in his jagged claws.
It’s the opportunity of a lifetime on a silver platter. She said it herself, she really is the perfect target.
He’s never had a choice before. He still doesn’t, not truly. He needs this group to survive. Despite all her willingness to give up, he needs her strength and status. And why should he be kind anyway? It’s not like he ever got a break because he asked nicely.
And to think he thought they were similar in any way. The idea gnaws at his stomach, like a beast clawing its way out of him. No. They are not the same.
He can’t bear to think about it, so he acts.
He reaches for her, unsure exactly how to give her what she wants. Comfort was never something he had experience with.
She follows his hands, crawling into his lap, burying herself into him. One hand trails up to play with her hair in a way he knew most conquests enjoyed afterwards. His other hand holds her close to him.
Her tears seem to calm at the movements, so he figured he was doing something right.
This is… bearable. The proximity is uncomfortable, but merely holding her is far from the worst thing he could be doing. Though his muscles tense, his insides threaten to tear apart, his chest tightens.
He will use her however he needs in return for this… intimacy. Yes. This is something he can do.
“Alright,” he finally answers. “I accept your terms.”
The way she trembles and cries in his arms reminds him of so many memories he dare not entertain.
He will do this. He will do this because he must. Once he’s done, once he’s free, he’ll leave her alone.
I might clean it up and post it. Probably won’t get around to it though 😅
Tags! @jellymellydraws @riskpig @vixstarria @inkymoonbunny
#baldur's gate iii#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#astarion#writing#fic writing#wip wednesday#this is mostly just late-night ramblings#don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9pm and all that
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I sometimes think about and ponder on how Bruce is such an overprotective yet mostly well meaning parent towards Dick. Yet Bruce is also the type of parent who fails to realise that their kid has grown up and can look after themselves and doesn’t need them for protection and guidance anymore.
Dick and Bruce are both control freaks but for different reasons. Bruce is a control freak because he thinks that as long as he is in control of the situation that means he can protect the ones he loves from harm or losing them altogether. Because when his parents died he had no control over that. He felt powerless that he couldn’t do nothing to prevent it. Even though he was just a helpless little 8-9 year old boy who could do nothing but stand there watching helplessly as it played out before his very eyes.
While Dick is a control freak for the opposite reasons to Bruce. He needs to stay in control of himself and not let others tell him what to do and values his freedom his independence if that makes sense. All his life even with his own parents he was excepted to do as he was told, like how most children do. He wasn’t listened to in his own mind he felt responsible for his own parents death depending on the version it was because he didn’t tell them about stranger threatening Mr Haly or in some tellings he wasn’t listen to by his parents. He had no one to turn to really and much like Bruce he was just a powerless little boy. Who nobody truly heard, Dick Grayson to the world was just a child and therefore had no voice.
The only person who truly heard Dick’s voice was Bruce Wayne who saw himself in the young boy and knew the only way to save this boy from becoming like him was to get him his justice and put Dick Grayson parents killer behind bars. He became like a second father towards the young lad, family, the dynamic duo crime fighters of Gotham. Which is why Dick was able to heal and move on mostly from the loss of his parents because unlike Bruce. He had someone to fill the void that was lost when his parents died. Bruce Wayne the Batman because like a father to him a second father, in a way he was Dick light shining hope in the darkest part of his life. It’s so important to Dick development as a character and without it he wouldn’t be the same person he is today and it’s also so important that Dick time as Robin was a pretty happy one as well.
Both Bruce and Dick saved each other just by becoming each other new family. Bruce didn’t need anything from Dick all he needs from him is to just exist to remind him why he does what he does.
So imagine the hurt Dick must feel as a young adult. That his second father who heard his voice and listen to him all those years ago. Is now not listening to his voice really anymore or respecting his decisions as a young adult a man in his own right. While it comes from a place of good intentions. Dick cannot help but feel he is still seen and viewed as just a little boy by him and the crushing feeling of never truly living up to his expectations and the shadow that the Bat casts onto him. When will he ever be good enough to finally be taken seriously by him as his own man. Dick coming of age story is about finding one self in the world and crafting out his own legacy and what being a superhero means to him and him alone.
While it wasn’t Bruce intention, he did in fact put pressure onto Dick even though he doesn’t want him grow up to be like him. He values him so highly and he is glad that he grew up to be a much better man than he will ever be. He loves his surrogate son so much but with that comes fear. Like any parent he cannot help but worry for Dick future and the decisions that he makes as an adult and he will state his opinion on what he thinks of said decisions Dick makes in his life. He didn’t approve of Dick dropping out of college which caused some tension between the two of them for a good bit.
I always found Batman #330 original released in September 11th 1980 really interesting because of how Lucius fox and his son Tim Jace fox comes into play in that story Bruce compares himself to Lucius while Tim to Dick and how he cannot understand why would in he in Bruce’s eyes be throwing away his future. So when Bruce is talking all this nonsense to Tim he wasn’t actually speaking to Tim rather it’s the things he wanted to say to Dick.
Dick probably understood at that point that this was never about Tim or the thugs rather it was about Bruce who took out his own frustrations with Dick by projecting them onto Tim and the thug members. The themes and parallels to a father that being Lucius and his son Tim to Bruce and Dick within that comic book story makes it so painfully clear to me. It was about a Father who was upset with his son life choices for his future and only wants what is best for him even if he isn’t going about it in the best way possible.
The biggest hurdle for Dick and Bruce relationship as surrogate father and son is miscommunication and how the other isn’t willing to listen to the other. Bruce is the parent who always think he knows what is best which is not always the case which leads to him fighting with Dick all the time because he is blinded by the idea that his adult son might know better then him and stubbornly refuses to budge on that for a stupidly long time.
#Batman#Late night random thoughts and rambles#Just to be clear I am kinda mostly pondering about Bronze Age and pre crisis Dick and Bruce.#But I am also pondering some modern comics as well such as Batman/Superman world finest comics and world finest teen titans short comic.#dick grayson#bruce wanye#I think about them a lot in my head rent free maybe it because I see a lot of myself in Dick in a way who knows.#Then again Bruce reminds me of both of my parents in some way and well them being overly smothering and overprotective at times.#In that way I definitely feel Dick Grayson pain in wanting to seen as grow ass man and not be seen as just a child in my own parents eyes.#meta#Batfam#The scariest part of growing up is letting go of the rose tinted glasses of your parents is to see them as just regular people with flaws.#I could make a joke about how for some strange reason Batman always has to be right in a situation and is never truly allowed to be wrong.#nightwing
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I keep seeing the theory that Dev is a clone of his dad floating around(because even tho I still haven't watched ANW I've been scrolling thru all the tags for it on social media lately for some fucking reason), and I just wanna point out. That was gonna happen in Invader Zim. There was gonna be an episode of Invader Zim where Dib went on a mission to find out why his life sucks so much, only to discover that him and his sister Gaz are actually clones of their rich, famous, and severely neglectful dad. The show got canceled before they could actually follow through and make the episode, but it was gonna happen! So. Do with that information what you will I guess-
#membrane and dale just overall have very similar parenting styles#minimal conact with their kids. mostly raising them through machines. naming them insane shit like “gazoline” or “development”...#honestly the biggest difference between them is that membrane has steadily been getting better as the series progresses#and he like. canonically loves his kids and wants the best for them#meanwhile dale does not. he does not-#also they have like completely different personalities and motivations but we're only talking about parenting rn#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#invader zim#dib membrane#professor membrane#gaz membrane#late night ramblings
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I imagine Essek had this moment of recognition with Astrid and Eadwulf while they were all in the Blooming Grove, similar to how Kima was like “sword lesbian recognize sword lesbian” with Yasha. They all looked at each other and went “neutral evil wizard with complicated feelings for Caleb and a weird relationship to their homeland recognize neutral evil wizard with complicated feelings for Caleb and a weird relationship to their homeland,” and they didn’t need to discuss it any further. Their relationship is not affectionate at all, but it is not hostile. It can’t even really be called professional. It’s just there, and it’s a relationship of few words, but enough understanding.
And Astrid. Astrid Beck, my most beloved. Her relationship with Caleb hurts, if she’s being honest. But so does her relationship with Eadwulf, even though it’s a different kind of hurt. She is just full of trauma and I don’t think there is anything in her life that isn’t filtered through it, so everything is just kinda painful.
But I imagine that after taking on the role of Archmage, Astrid feeds Essek just enough intel to steer clear of the Assembly's ire, but they don't talk at all beyond that. So like, they don't really know anything about each other, but they are still offering up a lot of trust. It creates this weird intimacy of knowing someone's greatest secrets (Astrid, about Essek) and having seen them at their lowest point (Essek, about Astrid) and sharing a weakness (both of them, for Caleb). But at the same time, there is a massive divide between them that, for a myriad of reasons, will never ever be bridged. They both know this, so they won't even try.
They do not have a relationship, but there is still so much to it, you feel me?
#if this is rambly it's because it was mostly lifted straight from my fic planning doc#so this was character info for myself first but i also wanted to share#bc i love astrid so mucchhhh#i love that she is complicated and morally gray and emotionally constipated just like every other wizard on wildemount#i'm just obsessed with this dynamic#and the inherent intensity of it bc hello it's them#critical role#essek thelyss#astrid beck#eadwulf grieve#eve talks#late night wizard posting
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NaNo 2024: Victory!!
Hello, world, here's my tidied desk in the aftermath of FINISHING ANOTHER BOOK!!! It took me EXACTLY four (4) pens this year (I was literally writing my wrap-up stats in the back of the notebook when the in on the last one started to go!), on 82 pages across two (2) notebooks, and preliminary* word count is 71,541!! (*subject to change once typed--I count by hand and tweak as I type haha.)
Also featuring: the NaNo Earrings, Volumes 2 and 3 of the Bitch Journal (where I whine about writerly things and also Reflect On My Process--I learned very much this year and got a lot of dopamine from it!!), the tiny watch that kept me company in my tertiary writing space, the earplugs that made working at home Tolerable (mostly), and some of the frantic scribbles on scrap paper (I got a LOT of mileage out of a dead receipt that Panera misprinted for me lol).
Now, onward to TYPING!! I would love for this not to take most of December, so I'll probably have more Unhinged Goals About That (I don't know why I am the way that I am), but! The hard part is done!!
#nano2024#hh#writing#i already don't love the title i wrote at the top of the manuscript by the way lol#i might just call it 'the wintergreen house'#instead of a street address#it doesn't need a street address because of where it is#i just also like how 'seventeen wintergreen' sounds so....unclear lol#and anyway listen the half a space lichen doesn't really vibe with names humans can pronounce anyway#so they end the book not sure what to call it#or how to refer to it#which is fair because how would YOU try to pronounce a constellation of flashing lights and weird almost-smells??#exactly. good luck lol#ANYWAY I HAD SO MUCH FUN I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT MY PROCESS (i have tag rambled about this elsewhere i won't do it again lol)#100/10 recommend doing a Journal Thing if you have a creative process btw#to hack your way around said creative process#The Bitch Journal has been THE biggest game changer for me in writer land lately#it started out like the top one says 'mostly just whining' but it's wild how easily that slides into Reflection and Figuring Yourself OutLO#if i ever taught writing this is the only kind of journal i would implement#i had a professor who wanted us to do Idea Journals which fine cool observation things#but GOSH this one was SO MUCH MORE HELPFUL TO ME#and really framing it as whining was SO good#because you get all the gunk out and then words can GO#anyway. everyone needs a Bitch Journal i think#be a bitch do your bitching etc#nano#the Void already started coming for me last night btw#IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THE POST PROJECT CRASH LEAF ME ALONE!!!!
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it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!
#rin rambles#cw vent#tw vent#i'm ngl i'm starting to stress out haha#eating is such a pain sometimes i wish they invent a pill you can just take and it'll give you all the exact nutrients you need ugh#i keep forgetting to have dinner for the past 4 days n haven't had the energy to wash my hair for 3 days now#but it's fine we good we're chugging on#i'll hopefully have some time to breathe on the weekend since monday is a ph#but my god i'm dreading the hackathon sm haha#mostly bc i have never talked to the people assigned into the team with me AND everyone is in US timezone#so i have to stay up late from night to morning to collab with them#and i really don't like that haha but what can you do when it's work :))))#and then there's the new landlady's shenanigans...... i dont want to think about it.............#lets try not to get your paranoia make you break down again meirin#anyway#that got venty real fast i better put a warning#sorry for the negativity lately i'm just so tired#venty............. venti......... hey guys what do you call it when venti vents- /smacked#there now that wasnt all negative hahah
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Guys. I think I’ve fallen back into my Mammon obsession. It was really bad right before I started writing for this blog. But it seems to have come back because I’m being plagued with fic ideas.
I also seem to be getting Satan obsessed… I don’t think I’ve had a full on Satan phase like I did with Mammon. But apparently it’s happening now? You guys already know about my Satan related smut fic ideas.
Anyway I’m annoyed because I have a bunch of real life stuff coming up ‘cause you know ‘tis the season & junk. But I wanna wait until after some of that so I can do these ideas justice.
Not me still thinking about maid outfit smut series too.
Also considering doing a small drabble request event for the holiday stuff. Is that something people would be interested in?
#I’m just talking to myself mostly#not to mention my other story I’m working on#though I’ve had to pause work on it because life#I’m not gonna put this in the tags cause it’s just me talking to myself#late night nonsense posting#misc rambles
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I'm gonna ramble bc it's late and I'm in a mood
So currently, I'm fixated on like 3 things right now
Lego Monkey Kid
The Batim, Animaniacs, and Cuphead crossover
And personal lore with my friend
---(Lmk Spoilers ahead)---
Lego Monkey Kid is actually tearing my brain apart atm because I watched season 5 finally AND MY GOD....
I can't stop thinking about it, it's actually driving me crazy.
My pal and I have an au where Mk is replaced with a different oc of mine, and Macaque has a child.
Everything that happens to Mk is the series happens to my oc, and it's tweaking me out-
Especially the season 3 finale with LBD when Wukong gets... possessed? Controlled? Idk
BECAUSE IN MY AU, MY OC GETS TAKEN OVER INSTEAD AND HE HAS TO FIGHT WUKONG
GRAHHHHHH
---
The crossover has me fucked up because I keep thinking of character lore and details. Even character conflicts but I HAVE NO PLOT
I can't do ANYTHING because I don't have any reason for them to interact or even travel together. I might make Devil and Dice the main antagonists but I DON'T KNOW HOW
SOBBBBB
I do know that Bendy is the main character with Boris and Alice as his main buddies. They work as performers in a secluded town and entertain everyone there.
I also might have Cuphead have his soul indebted to the Devil still but not telling anyone. Character conflictttt
The Warner siblings are an interesting bunch as well because it implies that there are humans and toons in this world. Which I think is fun to play around with.
---
I can't really ramble much about the personal lore since yall have NO CONTEXT but I'm thinking about the main guys. (THEY'RE GAYYY)
Basically, the main romance trope is just a good guy slowly falling in love with the bad guy in his head and slowly ending up doing evil together.
RUNNING AROUND MY RAT CAGE AJISIWJKWPSNSJEIJENENEN
#rambling#pop rambles#i don't think I'll do any crazy tags#I'm tired and rhis was mostly to get my thoughts out#i like rambling but I never wanna bore my friends with it LOL#maybe I should just ramble late at night more#yall could get some CRAZY STUFF#I used to do it all the time with my bestie but I stopped for some reason#edit: FUCKING CRYING BECAUSE I SAID DEVIN INSTRAD OF DEVIL#GOD THSC BRAINROT HAS ME FUCKED UP
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good morning!! <33
#wah another chill day#like it took a lil to fall asleep last night#normal cramps + the way i've been a little sick lately made it hard#so i'm just gonna laze around mostly#maybe find an ask game or smth if i have the energy#honestly i don't nap much but today feels like i might#like at least lay down & close my eyes for a bit (doubt I'll actually nap but it'll be relaxing either way :3)#anyways#i hope today/tonight is good to you (and that you feel better than i do hehe) :3#morning rambles
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Anyway while rummaging through the ONE tags and a few critiques, I’ve noticed a lot of debate over what Stone’s whole deal was given the ending of the show and. Well I want to speculate a little
Going to be referring to Stone as he/they because the wiki is telling me it's he/him but they/them feels Better to me . I get to gender the Stone.
also this post will be Long. Forewarning you!!!
I don’t think Stone is evil, first of all. I saw at least one proposal that Stone was acting out of some form of malice,, and I reeeeaaallly doubt it; the character we see is frantic and anxious, without any hints toward some darker intentions or. Idk, conniving? Attitude? it just doesn’t make sense with what we are shown of Stone. Granted we aren’t shown much but u know
Unless you want to count Liam’s wonky ass hallucination thing with Stone going like “you think you understand, don’t you?” Or whatever — but I count that Even Less since that was. Again. Wonky Liam hallucination or somethin, not Stone’s actual character
Cool idea for an au though I’ll say that much!
now I ALSO don’t think Stone was totally in the right either, but it's one of those situations where he was going to be some form of Wrong no matter what he did.
In my interpretation of Stone’s abilities, they could see the past and all possible futures with the past/present in mind. From what I've seen in the tags, this is a popular headcanon, which is great because if I was alone in this interp I think I would explode
When put into the Plane, I think he saw two things: The ending we got and an alternative. Or perhaps multiple alternatives depending on smaller factors. And I think whatever alternative(s) he saw were either of equal suffering or worse, meaning he was put into a situation of picking between evils.
For example, say he sees a future where Liam doesn’t involve himself with trying to stop Airy and just tries to reintegrate into society after being eliminated. This leaves Airy to continue ONE, perhaps even running through a full, “smooth” competition with no more or few additions, meaning a winner is chosen and everyone else eventually gets to go home. But then this allows Airy to keep going into a season three, maybe four — and it becomes a trolley problem.
Leave these contestants stuck forever and stop it at season 2 as a means to minimize future suffering, or just allow it to run its course.
The issue lies in that. This really should not have been Stone’s decision to make. He's - intentionally or not - playing God with lives that he should not be allowed to Play God with. but at the same time, he likely was aware of his limited time and didn’t see a future where he could communicate everything to the contestants before his elimination (let alone let them debate on it). So it’s…. Yeah. Literally a trolley problem. Let the trolley hit 5 people or flip the lever so it only hits 1.
anyway My point is this. This gives Stone reasoning for his actions and makes his role in the show more understandable. He doesn't just send Liam on a wild goose chase ending in failure/hopelessness for no reason; he does it because in his eyes, the other options were worse.
Yeah, he led them all to a bad ending, but we don't know what he could have seen in the alternatives. Especially if Airy's season 3 was the same regardless, in which local lantern yoinks the got damn loved ones of this group into the next round of hellworld. Not only would there then be compounded suffering on the group we already have, but suffering for those characters, and I EMPHASIZE that one of the season 3 contestants was going to be Charlie's MOM. So like. Um....
And since this show LOVES to fuck around with human mentality and rationality, I think it makes sense to include the world’s most fucked up trolley problem in the middle, even if not made abundantly clear to us.
I also like the addition to this idea that Stone just wrote as much as possible on those sticky notes, regardless of if they would end up used or not, explaining why some (like the 5) still don't make sense afterwards. They wrote everything they thought could help lead into one or a few futures, and at that point, it was up to Liam/Bryce to go from there with what they were given.
AKA Stone doesn't see just one, unchangeable, solid future, and he can't predict exactly which one will come to fruition. He can only nudge the people around him in directions he thinks are most favorable.
And for all we know, the smallest thing could have fucked up his entire plan and led us to the ending we got to. Amelia not giving him the sticky notes (why would he go for them if he thought she'd never give them to him in any possible future?) could have been what forced him to hide the sticky notes in Liam, and when that leads to his elimination, he just panics in that last minute to write out the last helpful thing he can -- The votes are fake.
now why he decided to write each letter on an individual sticky note is beyond me but idk maybe there's a butterfly effect SOMEWHERE in that nonsense shdgKJDSHG
anyway. yea. That's all. I am thinking about Stone
#i started writing this late last night and added to it this morning#i've reached the point of slightly more comprehensible thoughts . as u might be able to see here#VERY long ramble#<- been a while !!!! wrow!#nothing I'm saying here hasn't been said before I'm just lining it all out to get my thoughts down + emphasize some things#mostly because i'm Unwell! :)#clamtalk#hfjone#hfjone stone#objecthour
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Me, writing in silence: Not! Enough! Stimulation!
Me, writing with music or a movie in the background: *gets distracted and doesn't write*
#three hours later and I'll have typed eight words that I'll probably end up deleting later#anxiety and adhd keep getting in the way of my WIPS and I'm just like#what do?#this is also mostly the reason I'm so behind with asks and tag games#late night rambles#ella thinks
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i mentioned this briefly but I kinda have a job now. I'm not doing much or getting paid (cuz the whole department has no money yet rip) but technically this is supposed to be a paid position so I'm just gonna call it my job
whats the job? being a TA
#i also might blog about it cuz it's silly#the class is videogames too so that's fun#that's not even the parts I talk about tho#I'll mostly just talk about my boss having a crisis and my students being funny#sumi's late night rambles
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Bellefast has been coming to me in my dreams recently, in a similar way to how Monteith and Jibblie do
I find myself at The Circus, but in a sleeping quarter of some kind. And I can hear the festivities going on outside, in the big top. I'm apparently just passing through, but know everyone well enough that they let me stay on the property.
The only person I don't know is Bellefast, which is strange since he's the Ringleader, you tihnk I'd know him quite well, if I know all the clowns and performers and stagehands.
And he doesn't know me. So when he stumbles into the sleeping quarters, whiskey and candy floss on his breath, and falls into the bed, he's caught by surprise. As am I.
It feels like maybe a creative exercise? Maybe my brain wants to flesh this character out more, so it's putting him into my almost asleep brain so that I have to learn more about him.
So far I've learned he has a drinking problem.
#Rosie rambles#My dreams have been very strange lately especially my almost dreams like I'm about to fall asleep state#Whenever I describe things like this none of my friends think it's normal#Like to fall asleep I have all these situations play out and scenes and I don't have control over them#I can be like man I wish Monteith was here cause I can't sleep#And then Monteith will crawl out of the closet and Jibblie will be doing cartwheels on his shoulder#And he'll say something to me in a voice I never expect bc that's kind of his thing#And then usually Jibblie will do a trapeas act or something to keep my brain occupied#Trapese? Trapeese? I don't know how to spell it. You know the flips and shit#But the past two or three nights it's been Bellefast and I have little control over him#Meaning I can't think for him to say something or do something he just does what he wants#Which is to sleep. Drunkenly. Next to me#I didn't even mention his mind control powers but it's more like... Persuasion? Or like.. I want this#So you want this now too#Idk how to describe it exactly but it's kind of like Damien from The Bright Sessions except he uses it for good#...... Mostly. He mostly uses it for the big top performances and getting everyone genuinely excited about The Circus#He doesn't implant false feelings into your brain it's more like he coaxes out stuff like you WANT to be having a great time right now#So then they DO have a great time#I guess it's like releasing your inhibition? Versus mind control technically#But yea the drinking problem is more of a concern to me lol he relies on it after every performance regardless of the time of day#OC: Bellefast#I think I want to tag my OC places too#The Circus
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foy ocs… one day i will draw you…
#maybe…#i do miss drawing and the silly ocs have been on my mind recently#i dont know#i’m not sure anyone will be interseted#but freewill!!!!!#late night thoughts with lee#mostly just rambling#and for me to look back and remind myself to draw🫵🫵🫵
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I can't stop thinking about Ghost being a better boyfriend than your ex, even without establishing that title....
This is a continuation of part one.
warning: mention domestic abuse
💀
Simon was there every night you worked. You never gave him your schedule, but he'd show up and settle onto one of the stools like clockwork. Soap often joined him, and while they carried on like always, you knew Simon's gaze lingered on your body. You could practically feel the weight as you took drink orders and pulled pints. It wasn't unwelcome. In fact, it made everything easier knowing you weren't alone if your ex dared show his face.
When your shifts ended, Simon would walk you back to your new place. The one time you insisted he didn't need to do that, he grunted and said, "What if I want to?"
You didn't mention it again. Instead you got into a routine of giving him a fifteen minute warning when your shift was going to end, and you'd head out into the cold night with him at your side. He was mostly quiet while you chatted about whatever was on your mind. When you'd ask him about himself, he'd reroute the conversation back to you. Then he would wait while you unlocked your door and stepped inside.
You always had the urge to invite him in, but you were taking up so much of his time already. And what would you do with him anyway? This hulking military man with kind eyes?
You thanked him and gave him a little wave before ducking inside, and you knew he always waited until he heard the sound of your door locking before he left.
"Y' alright, love?" he asked one night when you were starting to feel particularly good about yourself again. Your split lip had healed which required less makeup. You felt stronger for having left your ex in the dust. You were wearing a new top that made you feel sexy.
"Yeah. I'm alright, Simon. I feel really good, actually."
You served him a drink and refused to let him pay. You really ought to make him stop tipping you at this rate. He was doing so much for you and getting nothing in return. He was doing all of the boyfriend duties just as he had promised, but he never so much as touched you other than the occasional hand hold.
What if you wanted more?
He broke into your thoughts as he said, "I can tell. Ya' been smiling more. Almost ready to go?"
Tonight you felt like you were floating along the dirty sidewalk with your hand tucked in Simon's massive paw. He was keeping you warm without doing anything, and he listened to your nervous rambling as you tried your best to work up your courage. But the two of you reached your front door all too quickly.
"Get inside," he said, voice deep and tender in spite of the command. "An' lock up."
When he started to pull his hand away, you didn't let him. And you didn't budge when one of his eyebrows inched higher. "Not quite yet," you whispered, toe tapping the cement step you were standing on which put you slightly closer to him in height. "I have to tell you something."
Simon's lips pressed together in a tight line, and his chin dipped in a slight nod. "I need to tell ya' something, too. Just don't want to."
"What?" you asked immediately, the lightness you'd been feeling instantly replaced with a lead brick inside you.
"I'm leaving. Late tomorrow night. Not until after I make sure ya' get home from the pub."
"Leaving?" you whispered, heart pounding faster. He was in the military. Some sort of special mission involvement. You knew that much. And you could read between the lines to know that someone who looked and behaved like he did was probably about to risk his life, not for the first time. "Simon, where are you going?" you asked with tears in your eyes even though you figured he wouldn't be able to tell you.
Simon shook his head, his lips curling into a soft smile. It was a rare sight, and it made you dizzy. "Pretty little thing like you shouldn't be worried 'bout me." You wanted to tell him you would be. You'd worry nonstop until you saw him again. You'd come to rely on him, but mostly you liked how you felt when he was around. "There'll be someone to walk ya' home from work every night. I can promise that."
You wanted to lean in and kiss him, but instead you threw your arms around his neck. He was so solid and warm, and the scrape of his facial hair on your cheek was somehow comforting. "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?" you asked, voice breaking on a sob.
"I'll see ya' tomorrow, love."
He didn't move an inch as you extracted yourself, and the sound of his receding footsteps could only be heard once you'd locked yourself inside.
💀
Part three
#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley cod#simon ghost riley#ghost simon riley#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#simon ghost x you#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#ghost imagine#ghost riley#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#call of duty fanfic#simon riley fanfic#ghostsprincess
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Viktor general romance hcs!
🥀A/n: HES SO POOKIE I LOVE HIM‼️
🥀Cw: fluff, smut, slight angst if u squint, switch!viktor
🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion
sfw:
this man is such a workaholic, he genuinely never thought that he would fall in love
viktor is very inexperienced in the romance department, so he's definitely a little awkward at first
once he's close with someone, he definitely starts to open up to them a lot more! he'd really appreciate a partner that he can have deep, philosophical conversations with and definitely asks for your opinion on a lot of things
your a very valuable person in his life, and viktor makes sure that you know that. while he may not be great with words, his actions show that he truly cares for you
while he may not admit it, viktor loves when you complete acts of service for him or help him at all. he loves when you visit him in the lab and bring him some coffee, it always makes his day
because he works so much and spends so much time in the lab, viktor will often invite you to join him there. you two often spend hours together, just sitting in near-silence and working in tandem. viktor would love it if you got along well with jayce (and sky too but mostly jayce), you are his favorite people and he would love it if you all got along
viktor isn't the most cuddly person in the world, but he makes some exceptions for you! after a long day, he loves just melting into your embrace and having you play with his hair. viktor would spend hours just laying in your lap and rambling about hextech if he could
he's not big on pda, but he loves holding your hand. viktor holds your hand anywhere and everywhere, he always wants you as close to him as possible and he'll sometimes trace words into the back of your hand with his thumb when you are asleep. before he said "i love you" out loud, viktor probably traced it against your skin at least a million times.
viktor prefers to stay in for dates, and definitely enjoys staying up late with you. idk if they have television in the world of arcane, but it seems a little shocking that they can have giant magical teleportation portals and literal magic orbs and magic flying blimps and body enhancing drugs but haven't created a tv. so like. lets just pretend they do have television. cuz if they do, than you and viktor DEFINITELY have movie marathons and movie nights together
he loves making you little trinkets and gifts!!! whenever there is extra material leftover at the lab, viktor's first thought is to make something for you! he once made you an entire bouquet of fake flowers out of scrap metal, and told you that he would love you until the flowers withered (it would never wither cuz its made of metal ☹️). your home is practically overflowing with these little trinkets, but you REFUSE to get rid of any of them (i think i saw the flower scenario on a tiktok, but URGRHRHRH i wanna write it so... if anyone is interested... 😇)
honestly, the best time spent with viktor is in the comfort of your own home. you have a very domestic relationship, and he likes sitting with you in comfortable silence.
he'll call you pet names in zaun, even before you two are together😭
overall, viktor is genuinely such a sweetheart once he trusts you and will stay by your side no matter what
nsfw:
SWITCH LEANING SUB 🫵🫵🫵
because of his leg and overall sickness, viktor definitely prefers simpler positions that don't require a lot of physical stress
he likes having you on top of him so that he doesn't have to put pressure on his knee, and he definitely prefers not having to push himself too hard
i'd say his favorite positions would probably be you riding him, sitting on his face, lotus position, and maybe 69 or missionary too (but the last two are only on good days when he isn't in too much pain)
at first, viktor was insecure about sleeping with you because he genuinely does not think very highly of himself and didn't want you to think that he was weak or ugly :( please reassure him
ON THAT TOPIC!!! PRAISE!!!!!!
praise is literally SO important to him, while it is one of his kinks i genuinely think he appreciates it outside of the bedroom as well.
lots and lots of communication. "is this ok", "can i touch you here", type of stuff. he's very gentle with you, and obviously you are with him as well
because he wears his leg brace literally all the time, viktor has a handful of bruises and scars from the brace rubbing against his skin 24/7 (idk if he sleeps w it on tbh- im assuming not but u get the point) and he can be a little insecure about them. PLEASE kiss them and show his body a lot of affection in general
viktor isn't super vocal at first, but once he trusts you he lets out the neediest whines and moans. he curses a lot under his breath, and he has a verrryyyyy pretty fucked-out expression.
this man is a switch 100%. most of the time he subs and bottoms, but sometimes he'll dom from the bottom and very occasionally he'll dom from on top. when he's a sub i definitely see him as, like, the male version of a pillow princess. he definitely just wants to lay back and get taken care of, and will get very pouty if you do not do so. he loves being pampered and praised and he's SOOO sensitive when he's subbing. when he's in a more dominant mood, i see him getting off on your pleasure a lot more than his own. he loves fingering you, and definitely loves overstimulating you
viktor loves being marked and also marking you. he bites down on your shoulder a lot to muffle his moans, and he loves giving you hickeys. i genuinely think that's another one of his kinks as well
TOYS!!! im sorry but this man definitely has an extensive collection of sex toys you can't tell me im wrong bc im not. he isn't inexperienced by any means, but he probably got a lot of toys over the years because he just didn't really have that many partners and just wanted to try a bunch of things on his own yk? anyways, he fucking LOVES using them on you and teasing you mercilessly is definitely part of your guys' foreplay
this man has the most gorgeous hands and definitely puts them to good use‼️ you cannot tell me viktor does not have amazingly skilled hands bc your wrong. he literally does jayce told me
i don't think he's super vanilla but i also don't think he's into like SUPER hardcore bdsm? i think it would intrigue him but he's probably the type to be into what you are into and if you want to try something new, he's more than willing (as long as its safe. either of you getting seriously hurt is a major nono for him). that being said, i don't think he'd mind being handcuffed or experimenting a bit with shibari, but you guys DEFINITELY have a safeword. like even if you have 100% vanilla soft sex he still establishes a safeword with u and makes sure your comfortable.
overall, his kinks include: praise (giving and receiving), little bit of edging (receiving), overstimulation (only giving), marking, and kind of a wildcard but also maybe somnophilia. like he would NOT complain about waking up to head lmao- he's def the type to have wet dreams i want to write this omg
i am so! tired!!! still feeling very crappy but i am pushing through my classes until the end of the year 😭 i am so close and yet so far 🙂↕️
ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYED!!! FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ARCANE REQUESTS!!! ive also been on a huge jayce x viktor streak lately? im not usually a big shipper but their dynamic intrigues me. i want to put them in a jar together and shake them around a bit. but yea i love them both!!!
#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#arcane viktor#arcane x reader#arcane x female reader#arcane x male reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane smut#arcane fluff#arcane imagines#arcane#league of legends x reader#league of legends smut#league of legends viktor#league of legends#arcane viktor x reader#arcane viktor smut#arcane viktor fluff#viktor x you#viktor x y/n#viktor smut#viktor fluff#arcane viktor imagine#arcane fanfiction#arcane fanfic#viktor lol x reader#lol viktor#lol viktor x reader#lol viktor smut
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