#this is making me spiral cause if there’s one thing abt me is that im insane

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[itoshi-s]

ZARI WAKE UP LOOK 😭😭😭😭

OHHHHHHH MY GOD IF I HAD ONE WISH FOR CHEISTMAS THIS YEAR IT WOULD BE THIS !!!:((((( plssssss i his name engraved on the inside ???? Sobbing i wonder if it’s available already cuz im dying to know how much is it !!!!

edit: it’s like 80 bucks aishshshsh alright then . that is something i.. would be willing to pay😭😳

[arolesbianism]

Sorry for failing to post more than once every 3 am anyways more stalien icons 👍

[shhhimnothereiswear]

I think I'd be an avatar of the Eye (I LOVE learning new stuff) or the Spiral (im just funky like that)

I think I'd probably give a statement on the Corruption (I'm currently writing a fan statement on it B] )

ok wait im curious-

which tma entity do you think youd be an avatar of and which do you think youd give a statement on

[kiestrokes]

i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely

ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.

🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below. 

Seonghwa 

He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.

Hongjoong

HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.

Yunho

The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.

Yeosang

His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.

San

Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.

Mingi

He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.

Wooyoung 

He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.

Jongho

Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[iinryer]

long post abt women and fandom. good morning

sorry this is a little bit ramble-y, and I don’t normally post stuff like this but bear with me, i am processing gjfhdhffh

first of all: this is NOT directed at anyone in particular. this is not about anyone or anything anyone has done. this is me, a lesbian, having some dialogue with myself about representation and the way people think and talk and engage with fictional lesbians! this is not a blast on anyone, just general mindfulness, and wanting to work through some of my own hesitation abt things.

im having a difficult time engaging w the grander audience turning the boys into dykes, because i can never be sure where they’re coming from, yknow? like why i was hesitant to post before (it took me over a year to post my butch buddie silhouettes) and why im not sure if i want to post some other for-fun doodling ive done…

bc there Are lesbians on the show. there are specifically Black Lesbians, canonically, on the show

and like. idk. i dont want the things i say or post to be fuel for anyone being weird yknow? My Fake Lesbians Are Not Better Than The Real Lesbians Already On The Show

and i know that, and i know my friends know that but. I don’t have control over how people take the things I make. and i don’t want that to inadvertently make someone get enthusiastic in the wrong way that makes like, for example, black fans of the show, or specifically maybe black lesbians who watch, see an influx in people being 10x more delighted by these white boy reduxes than the real actual lesbians on the show. and yeah, sure, we could say “it’s just because they’re like a shiny new toy!” but we all know that isn’t all of it.

LIKE. MAYBE THIS IS IRRATIONAL. but. idk i have a sizable audience, i get a lot of traction, the things i say and post travel sometimes! people see what i post. people engage with and build off of things that i post. and, historically, this fanbase is Really Fucking Weird About Women And People Of Color

for the most part, playing in this sandbox is just a fun exercise for me, a lesbian. don’t get me wrong, i LOVE blasting characters with my Dyke Laser Beam and making them into women who love women. I’ll do it all day every day. i had soooooo much fun drawing butch buddie. i live for that shit. but! idk! im happy kicking around my own funhouse, but i feel like i need to take all of that into account if i make any of that public. yknow? community responsibility or whatever. i know it’s not on me if someone takes it in a bad direction, but! if i was the one who inadvertently facilitated that! i will feel awful! and tbh, there’s no guarantee that I haven’t done that already!

im just having fun, and you should be too! but this stuff makes me nervous! i don’t have any control over other people, and i just don’t want to be the cause of easily avoidable discomfort for others.

this isn’t some great declaration, and I don’t really have a moral or a call to action, there’s not a real solution in this stream of consciousness post—in the grand scheme of things, this is all make believe and for fun! im just. idk. it feels really important to me to acknowledge that this could spiral in a way that’s actually kind of awful for Real Life Fans who have to see the way other fans engage with and talk about lesbians and black women.

this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and it’s been on my mind recently, but with the influx of chatter about it i just felt like it was maybe worth talking about.

anyway. i love u lesbians. im drawing more henren soon <3

[slytherinshua]

You want soft thoughts? Here's one that's been driving me crazy for a few days lol. I watched a clip of Gwangil hugging his camera after a viewer asked for a hug and the way he went c'mere and hugged the camera absolutely melted me. Then started me down the spiraling path of, how would the members give a hug. I just know the Sangyeop would give the BEST hugs (I mean look at his arms?!?) and Wonsang would give the softest squishiest hugs. Yechan I feel would also give a very soft hug, he seems very touchy compared to the others vGwangil would maybe give a firm hug? I'm honestly not sure about him. (It is entirely possible that I just need a hug lol) I hope this also drives you crazy ahaha

HOW LUCY HUGS

genre. fluff. headcanons. established relationship. warnings. none. pairing. lucy x reader. wc. 611. a/n. KSJDKS OKAY THIS ABSOLUTELY DOES DRIVE ME CRAZY GOODBYE EVEN THINKING ABT THIS IS JUST SO SOFT IM MELTING INTO THE FLOOR RN STOP 😭😭😭 also like ty for sending smth in bcuz my inbox was like crickets 😔

SHIN YECHAN

okay definitely a soft hugger i feel like he's really into side hugs or back hugs

like he would just slip his arm around your waist and hug you gently like that

it's not very involved it's so tender but it makes it so that the hug can last for longer

yechan could just sit with you on the couch while doing something else and have his arm around your shoulder or waist and hug you like that for hours

i also feel like he's the type to grab your hands and wrap them around his shoulders if that makes sense

like he's always initiating things but almost 99% of the time it's so soft and gentle

he might squeeze your waist or hand but he's not gonna bear hug you (also cause his frame is so small he's not really built for it lol)

CHOI SANGYEOP

best bear hugs in the WORLD :(

he'll entirely wrap his arms around you from the front and give you the biggest squeeze

likes it when you lay your cheek against his cheek, he'd love to cuddle like that

and you can hear his heartbeat and the soft fabric of his shirt and it's so cozy (he's so husband material OH MY GOD)

sangyeop is definitely a cuddling while in bed enjoyer

all wrapped up under the covers with you, so close and comfortable with each other

he loves being the big spoon obviously i feel like he'd be offended if you wanted to be the big spoon lol

he's just so protector coded, he needs to have his arms around you so you can feel safe and loved!!! :(

also likes sneaking in cheek kisses hehe

CHO WONSANG

wonsang spends so much time in the studio creating masterpieces so i feel like you would give him lots of back-hugs while he's in his chair

just with your arms hung over his shoulders maybe fiddling with the collar of his shirt or his necklace or his hair <3

or he'd pull you down onto his lap and hug you like that while he still works on songs :(

everything is very soft like yechan with wonsang

you'd rest your head on his shoulder and listen to him talk about his songs or his day :(

laughing together while you're snuggled close in his lap and you can feel his chest buzz

also i know that wonsang usually spends a lot of time in very soft hoodies as his casual clothes lol he's so cute

so like hugging him while he's wearing that almost every day is so cozy :(

if he was hugging you on the couch he would 100% intertwine your legs like THATS JUST SUCH A WONSANG CODED THING TO DO??

SHIN GWANGIL

most comforting hugs ever in lucy HANDS DOWN

his voice is soft and his personality is soft and his hugs ARE SOFT

i feel like gwangil would just talk about his day with you while hugging you, face buried in the crook of your neck or resting on your shoulder

his hugs would make you feel better in an instant no matter how hard the day had been-- just being in his arms makes everything better

he also would rub your arm or back to make his hugs extra comforting TT

and he would sometimes pull back from the hug to give you a kiss too :( just a little peck on the forehead omg he's so KSJDKS

but i feel like in the morning before he leaves for work he's so casual with hugs

just a quick little pull into his chest before he leaves, but he makes sure to give you a good squeeze

↳ lucy taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @evalevaeva,, @weird-bookworm,, @seunghancore,,

@chenleszone

[silawastaken]

I love seeing people compare music to their favourite characters and go like 'oh yeah this verse might be this character... and then this one is the other one... and then this little bit here is them both honestly. Or something like that' because I HAVE gone through every taylor swift song on evermore and folklore and compared it to skk. Sorry to be autistic on the writing account, but this is a fanfic writing account and I'm writing my second novel length fic about them so what did you expect.

folklore/evermore are very canon skk, and verge into fanon and some songs are the reason for very specific head canons, or some of the ways I write the way they perceive each other. 1989... DON'T GET ME STARTED OMFG HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO BLANK SPACE? I THINK IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT HAVE AND OMG IT'S SO SKK CODED LIKE WTF. I HAVE VERY FIRM OPINIONS ABOUT WHICH LYRICS ARE THEIRS. Also the vault tracks literally exist what more do you want from me. 'i think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting' okay dazai pack it up you did that already, beast exists. 'i call my mom sister she said that it was for the best remind myself the more i gave you'd want me less' yeah yeah chuuya we know he left you get over it, it wasn't personal(think that line could go for either of them but the other line 'the way you faded till i left' feels more Dazai personally). Plus suburban legends. For personal reasons I struggle to listen to song without SPIRALING FUCK YOU THAT ONE PERSON SEHDHSSJNS but very skk as well 'we were born to be national treasures' is very soulmates of them. And out of the woods screams them in fanfic when they try to get better. Red, straight away all too well. They both remember it all too well. All too well skk cover with switching vocals anyone? The last time. The one with gary lightbody. Underrated song, is my favourite on that album, and SO THEM. 'this is the last time you tell me ive got it wrong, this is the last time i wont hurt you anymore' because they're fated to be together and are constantly drawn to each other and yet keep HURTING EACH OTHER RAGH. also 'we are never getting back together' is pretty funny and nice when applied to them. also state of grace. any taylor song with a mild drop of religious imagery is them cause yeah. but 'i never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same'... okay pack it up, we don't have time for your yearning. 'you were never a saint' (dazai abt chuuya) 'and i loved in shades of wrong' (bc hes toxic and doesnt know how to healthily like people) 'we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts' (bc they continue anyway and stick it out, living with the pain of being bad for each other because of how deeply they care). I almost do. Dazai after leaving. moving on to more religion, holy ground. 'for the first time i had something to lose' 'and i guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the storys got dust on every page' AAAAAA IT'S THEM. Can't really speak on debut- but I've listened to our song and picture to burn and if picture to burn isn't a vengeful chuuya idk what is. BOY OH BOY SPEAK NOW.

excuse me. one moment.

Mine- literally a skk au

Sparks fly- 'the way you move is like a rainstorm and im a house full of cards, you're the kind of reckless that should send me running' that entire verse screams dazai's fascination with corrupted chuuya, and the whole song is well yeah

back to december- dazai when they reunite just trust me on it just trust me on it. the repetition was intentional, that's how serious i am. 'i go back to december all the time' 'I got back to december to make it all right'

speak now- might just be me but it really makes me think of teen skk in fanfic harbouring urges to ruin the others relationship for 'some reason. I don't know, seeing him with her just... irks me'.

the story of us- first verse is chuuya, second verse is dazai, and the third is them both because they're LOSERS and they LOVE EACH OTHER and FUCK I'm CRYING NOW. 'id tell you i miss you but i don't know how' EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BASTARD.

enchanted- self explanatory. for more context, i really think it's from dazai's pov in this case, could probably be both, but dazai fell first and harder so it's really like god he's been in love ever since he got kicked into that wall he wants him around forever. He held Chuuya's hand in the fight with rimbaud and then had all those close moments in the manga and went home to lie on his bed kicking his feet and giggling don't lie. (god im still crying this isn't helping)

better than revenge- they're both pretty vengeful idk it makes me think of iwsynttr for some reason

haunted- chuuya pov. 'i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong' 'stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had' they're so sad, but the general idea of chuuya thinking he has figured out dazai and knowing how he thinks and then dazai just leaves suddenly and he's like 'Wow! I thought i knew you. How do i forget this'. 'wont finish what you started' bringing chuuya into the mafia then leaving it.

last kiss- 'you told me you love me so why did you go away' chuuya pov again oh god it hurts why am i doing this to myself? 'never imagined we'd end like this, your name, forever the name on my lips' yep yep ow.

LONG LIVE.- LISTEN. TO. THE. SONG. AND TELL ME IT'S NOT DAZAI AND CHUUYA. I COULD DO A WHOLE ANALYSIS ON JUST THIS SONG. 'promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye...please tell them my name, tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine, long live the walls we crashed through, i had the time of my life with you' FUCK IT'S DAZAI AN HE'S IN LOVE WITH CHUUYA AND DOESNT KNOW ODAS GONNA DIE YET, JUST THINKS HE DOESNT GET TO KEEP ANYTHING HE WANTS. FUUUUUCK. THEY'RE IN LOVE AND DAZAI WANTS IT REMEMBERED PLEASE I'M SO SAD.

anyway, i can't pretend I'm normal about skk anymore i haven't even covered fearless, reputation, lover or midnights please somebody encourage me to actually write full things dedicated to each album and the most fitting songs from said albums please i'll do it and plus i need to actually gather proof for my autism diagnosis appointment so this would be a good way to to that probably. anyway yeah this'll never make it out my drafts lol

[our-demigirl-experience]

Submitted this to a few more blogs but I thinking im getting most accuracy here, from what i've seen around:)

Hey

Asking for advice as I'm going through another [sparkle sparkle] gender crisis [uiii ]

So I tend to present really androgynously/masc most of the days. It's comfortable, it's not tight fitting, it looks eccentric, you can't tell I'm afab so bonus points, and it feels like me.

On those days I just go by they/them. In my mind. I'm not out, mind you. My parents aren't supportive. :')

But then I have days when I'm fine with people she/her-ing me. Even tho I present the same way, because it feels good.

And then there are days when I dress like a dude and act like the most fem person ever.

Then there are days when I totally switch up my style, go from loose baggy men's jeans and overshirts to the classic flared jean and crop top and I'm definitely a girl. Except for when I decide I'm uncomfortable and just switch up, go to the bathroom, put my binder on, gel my hair and start acting like a dude dressed in girls' clothes. [A little note:I started carrying a few men's items like cologne and gel at first for fun and to spruce up my looks whenever I need some confidence, but yeah they've been life savers :] ]

Then I don't even bother with pronouns, people are just going to assume whatever ig.

And then there are days when being called a girl is just straight up offensive and I just hate all the hair on my head and need to shave it but then I don't feel he/him, because boy is also nasty those days and I'm just an angry gremlin and idk.

And then there are days when I love flowery patterns and knitwear and those hippie round hats(not beanies, idk what they're called. The ones that look like a fishmonger's staple piece and are a sort of floppy downsides) and I love menswear those days but paired with dresses and sometimes makeup and sometimes shorts and it's all weird and genderfuck and I just don't bother.

Then there are days when I just play with my appearance for fun, not because of gender but because it's also how I express myself and idk.

...Basically I just broke my gender and now it's also a style somehow but not always and it's so frigged up. And I've done my research and the top labels would be one of the demis or genderfluid but meh

And I'm mostly sure I'm not bigender/trigender/pangender etc because it doesn't resonate and also I never got this thing with half a gender or more than one, I just thought demi-s at first because it leaves room for parts and bits that don't really fit. And I also dunno if what troubles me is my gender or my style as binarised and if I'm reffering to stuff correctly because SINCE WHEN IS GENDER SO COMPLICATED MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABT ITT whyyyy

And I'm usually fine with being called a girl but !not! with being feminine and I feel like ~ meh~ and I want a dude's body and stubble, yeah, stubble would be cool.

And I think that when I was a kid I never particularly cared, I mean I was tomboyish sometimes but not always and it usually depended on the environment. And yeah I hated dresses but now I don't and being called a girl never gave me pause but now it does and it is uncomfortable too.

And I'm also thinking it's just me overthinking everything because nothing EVER gave me pause until my pinterest insisted "yeah ur trans" because of my more masc style and I was like "fine let's see. I might get rid of the soft fem outfits in my feed" and it was a downwards spiral.

And I had been warned that after questioning ur sexuality comes gender identity and I said "I'm fine, I'm just nonconforming cis" and now idk nothing makes sense anymore.

I'm sorry if this is triggering at all to anyone, with my binarised thinking and stuff but thing is: IM NOT OUT YEYY(not that I'd know what to come out as and not that my family would support me :l ). That's how people perceive me. And I just want to give a picture of what caused me to be questioning.

I know it's a lot to handle, but advice? :)

And also some fashion tips. :))

Tyssm <3

I get it! Gender can be really confusing. My main advice is to test out using different labels to find out which one you like the most! And for fashion, it really depends on your style!! Pinterest can be really helpful for things like this. Good luck <3

[phagodyke]

woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi hi! first off I AM SUCH A HUGE FAN LIKE YOU HAVE NO CLUE. I literally shake every time you release a new chapter it’s insane. i’ve been following since… maybe chapter 14 of talk your talk and go viral (i just need this love spiral)? and i have been reading them as soon as they come out and wow. just read the new chapter shaking screaming crying throwing up. But to get to the actual ask i swear on my life that sometime in the og fic will said that he was going to make a solangelo ship account and become the biggest solangelo shipper lol. i just looked and it’s in chapter 21! “Which is a strange concept to think of, obviously, but he’s going to move past that. The only thing that really matters is that he wakes up in Will’s arms, and Will, somehow, finds it all hilarious. He is, however, going undercover on his Kanye West hate account to become the number one Will Solace x Nico di Angelo shipper, and to most of stan twitter, he’s probably coming off as insane and delusional.”

please tell me if will actually went through with that account. cause i was kinda confused in the new chapter when will said the solangelo rumors were getting annoying. since yk. he was egging it on.

sorry for such a long ask but i’ve just been wondering and AAHHHH IM SUCH A HUGE FAN YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAAAA I also made a playlist for this fic that’s probably over 10 hours long at this point most of it consists of songs i think nico would make because i’m insane.

HI omg literally thank u so much😭😭💔💔 it makes me so happy that you like the fic that much!!!

to answer the question, he definitely did, at the beginning - but that was still very early on in nico’s career, and his fan base was pretty small (at least compared to how it skyrocketed later that year). i think there’s a very fine line between joking that “haha these friends would make such a cute couple i ship!” (what will was doing) compared to certain “fans” who will insist on nico coming out and them having a public relationship/trying to find “hints” and “clues” that aren’t there/theorizing abt them having broken up, or them pining, or basically just invading nico (and will’s) privacy (what will is annoyed by/what other ppl are doing).

will ended up abandoning that acc when he got to college (1 bc he didn’t have time and 2 bc of people becoming too invasive). will def was egging it on back in hs, mainly just to counter the piper x nico rumors and bc he thought it’d be funny, but it became clear at some point that people weren’t seeing the joke aspect of the ship, and taking it way too seriously (bc even tho will thought it’d be funny, he didn’t actually want to out either of them).

plus, yk what happened at the grammys. having ppl try to out nico or accuse him of queerbaiting is really not what will wants to encourage! he made a mistake bc he was a teenager and he is not perfect! (tho tbf, nico thought it was funny at first too, and then just kinda forgot abt it when he became less active on social media)

DROP THE PLAYLIST💳💥💳💥 (i literally have 20+ playlists for this fic and will never turn down some more. i have an obsession.)

tysm for the ask!!! this ended up being a very long response lmao but i have way too many thoughts abt this au😭

[chonnysinferno]

tumblr deleted my ask :( anyway first n most importantly, could you listen to bopgil https://youtu.be/rORI1sZM-9I?si=wwaYyY82DnO9VLHk

anyway can i send you odd asks more often

anyway anyway i thought that was a completely one sided thing like. yeah. sometimes i just rotate people in my mind for a bit n then stop . pokes you with stick

juke’s towers of hell is a tower styled obby game. while you may be cascading down the social spiral, perhaps you will be able to ascend one of these trauma inducing towers

my head hurts so much but i got fries i think it’s because of malnutrition i don’t eat enough

fuckin like. i made a vaguepost about you. just two star crossed tumblr users. i guess that’s probably weird whatever

at first i saw cjshippers on your dni and i was like ok. goodbye then. and then it’s just like that one time you horribly interpreted my post about aro mind which i definitely said in a way liable to misinterpretation when i maintagged it aka i should’ve known better and then someone i admired at time took your misinterpretation n that was so fear and then i avoided you and now you are just like. oh it’s that person again. in my notes. on occasion. youre a cryptid tawa mi… i spin my pencil sometimes. badly. so sometimes when i am thinking now i get the urge to spin my pencil and i am thinking abt it right now. spinning fry gets fry seasoning in my hands so. i wrote loveless aro heart but it’s in a fic i definitely didn’t intend platinically. it’s this thing right. shipping is so weird because i’m aromantic and when it comes down to it, the difference between romance ala romance just seems like wording. a label. cause friends can do everything that partners can and there’s no depth difference so like wh huh? i call it a shipfic but it could be considered as just thing different than how i usually write thing like. i make them kiss. whatever. i focus on how close an intimate they feel. but i could also do that when romance li lon ala. so. allos are so weird to me. still figuring out what i think of the word love but still. allos……. ? ? ? anyway writing relationships where it not being love ISN’T A FLAW is so so enrichment i should do it more

pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick hiiiii hi hi hi hiii

it’s like the mutual i would usually send writing asks has established it likes ‘weird violence’ and complicated dynamics n such so i can send stuff w/o fear i know it a little bit however i don’t know. what is up. with you. i literally saved something i sent to it so i could just put that here however that feels like cheating and or betrayal. you turn the corner to your kitchen and i’m standing there. consuming ice very loudly and aggressively. recklessly even. ‘so do you think about the transient nature of any positive hms relationship’, i ask. what do you do (also i have plugged my own ice maker in btw)

also i’ve already convinced three (3) mutuals to watch centricide so if you do i will feel even more powerful like ohhhh wawa mi li kama suli…. surprisingly they didn’t eviscerate me very cool

it’s like showing up to the function like oh so you rbed that post you like those types of relationships. writes something down. ok so can i write about [paragraph redacted cause i realized maybe there’s a reason you shouldn’t put gore and cannibalism in someone’s inbox without permission. so can i put gore n cannibalism in your inbox :3]

NEW CENTRICIDE THEORY: radcen is called the ringleader of the centrists cause he

i forgot the joke fuck

i am so sorry im like. drawing funny objects (when im not supposed to0 be but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shhshshshshhb) and watching centricide rn sodfsdfkjkljddmklslmk im like. really scatterbrained im sorry HGAHAHGHAS yea im already watching it btw feel more poiwerful in return you should watch hfjone if you havent tho. like a trade of interests i get into yours you get into mine >:-)c sorry for like. misinteruptting that one post that one time. hides away i n shame i think that was like. the time i actually knew you existed. for a negative reason ^_^''''''''''' i try not to think about it cause i dont think ur still mad at me for that. hopefully this is goign to be like not arranged in the order of the ask (aka im not reading this in the way this is written. things are being answered in a way that makes no sense) PLEASE SEND ME ASKS even if they are odd. actually the odder the better im going to be honest with you i do not get much interaction askwise so. it brings me joy it wasnt a one sided thing LMFAO i guess i can see why ud see that. no its weird idk whats going on anymore. hi tho!!! is continously poked with a stick. youch. twitches like a bug uhjhmmhmhmhmh ill try jtoh i rememebr you ranting about it sometime but i dont rmemeber any of it i am so sorry also dont vaguepost about me. coward /JOKE that is funny thjo HAHAHAH also eat more. or i will find you. dont malnourish yourslef /silly idk about the shipping thing. i dont get shipping either im going to be honest with you romance is like. just not understandable to me??????????? i cant comprehend why this happens. what is romance continues to be poked more. stares at you i dotn know whats up with me either maybe someone else knows. i dont know much about myself so ^_^ being called a cryptid is probably the best way to describe me i feel. yeag put anything you want aslong as its not. nsfw or smth. ill smite you also can i have some ice pls ice is great wdym by relationship do you mean like. platonic??? romantic????? what do you mena byt his i think ive answered everything i keep having 2 scroll up LOL also edit (once again i know) i did enjoy the video link u sent thank u

[orpheusilver]

I am asking about your spiderverse dimension 🎤

yippeeeee okay id better explain what exactly im trying to write here lmao so like. this whole au was originally just an experiment in mapping the spider-person story onto a morbius variant as a joke bc i liked the idea of him being like "i was straight up bitten by a radioactive animal and started doing vigilante crime fighting can you please let me into the multiverse" and miguel going "NO youre literally a villain How did you get this number" but then it kinda spiralled and now theres like themes n shit

so long story short morgan michaels gets bitten by a radioactive vampire bat on a uni trip and wakes up with some weird mutations but doesnt really take much notice, he just goes about his day as normally as he can until he Fucking exsanguinates someone to Death. and takes it Badly. so then while hes trying to cope with that and adjust to the whole "vampire(?) thing" like. finding a non-homicidal way to get blood. he encounters spider-man and goes Hey! You know what would make me feel less shit about that whole murder thing? Doing that!

so he pisses off to try become a superhero and accidentally gets stuck with the name morbius, fucks around w/ doc ock and almost finds out until spidey saves his ass and morbius goes Hey. Im bad at this. Youre good at this. Can i be your sidekick until i figure out what the fuck im doing? and peter goes Hhhhhmmmmm bc He knows morbius is a villain. hes wearing one of them watches hes all caught up on how his canon works. but maybe this one is different..maybe he can fix him.....as in hes literally floating there in front of him asking to be fixed. so he says Yeah okay ill make sure you dont get yourself killed probably

so theyre doing the whole superhero mentor thing for a while, morgan learns and grows amd theres some cool contrasting moments where he handles shit completely differently than spider-man would and changes the trajectory of some established arcs, until eventually hes off doing basic superhero stuff all on his own and goes Hey that guy doesnt have a pulse. Thats kinda weird. so he tracks the guy to this weird secret rave in a factory basement with all these other dead people and at one point they turn on the sprinkler and its full of human blood? which hes so normal about ofc (<- the lying liar) and then this COOL GUY with a COOL JACKET and a COOL SWORD shows up and starts annihilating everyone and morbius goes Whoa cool! and then this guy tries to kill Him and he goes HEY WAIT IM LITERALLY ALIVE and blade goes Thats fucking weird cause youre definitely a vampire so whats your deal. Come with me so i can figure out what your deal is. so then morbius meets blades cool hematologist friend and cool butch biker mom and finds out abt Actual vampires which, it turns out, he definitely isnt hes something else which just seems similar bc [INSERT COMIC-TYPICAL MUTATION BULLSHIT]

they both get tied up in plot stuff and even though it takes a loooong moment for blade to trust him theyre actually a pretty good team, morbius is used to spider-man treating him like a student and, implicitly, a child so its neat that blade treats him like an Equal (albeit an annoying inexperienced equal w/ bad jokes and a worse costume but still) and turns out they actually have a lot in common? and kinda bond really easily? and maybe this whole "edgy-hero-who-kills-things" deal is working wayyyy better for him than the spandexed paragon thing spider-man has going on and that guy is super out of his depth in these circumstances and needs to stop pushing in assuming he knows best just bc hes a """hero""" and actually hes maybe being a total uptight prick about the no murder thing and who died and made him king of new york anyway?? fuck off spider-man i have a cool new friend who Gets Me and will absolutely definitely never judge me for killing someone or succumbing to bloodlust which is definitely totally 100% true and Not a fundamental misinterpretation that will come back to bite me in the ass.

[our-genderfae-experience]

Hey Asking for advice as I'm going through another [sparkle sparkle] gender crisis [uiii ] So I tend to present really androgynously/masc most of the days. It's comfortable, it's not tight fitting, it looks eccentric, you can't tell I'm afab so bonus points, and it feels like me. On those days I just go by they/them. In my mind. I'm not out, mind you. My parents aren't supportive. :') But then I have days when I'm fine with people she/her-ing me. Even tho I present the same way, because it feels good. And then there are days when I dress like a dude and act like the most fem person ever. Then there are days when I totally switch up my style, go from loose baggy men's jeans and overshirts to the classic flared jean and crop top and I'm definitely a girl. Except for when I decide I'm uncomfortable and just switch up, go to the bathroom, put my binder on, gel my hair and start acting like a dude dressed in girls' clothes. [A little note:I started carrying a few men's items like cologne and gel at first for fun and to spruce up my looks whenever I need some confidence, but yeah they've been life savers :] ] Then I don't even bother with pronouns, people are just going to assume whatever ig. And then there are days when being called a girl is just straight up offensive and I just hate all the hair on my head and need to shave it but then I don't feel he/him, because boy is also nasty those days and I'm just an angry gremlin and idk. And then there are days when I love flowery patterns and knitwear and those hippie round hats(not beanies, idk what they're called. The ones that look like a fishmonger's staple piece and are a sort of floppy downsides) and I love menswear those days but paired with dresses and sometimes makeup and sometimes shorts and it's all weird and genderfuck and I just don't bother. Then there are days when I just play with my appearance for fun, not because of gender but because it's also how I express myself and idk. Basically I just broke my gender and now it's also a style somehow but not always and it's so fucked up. And I've done my research and the top labels would be one of the demis or genderfluid but meh And I'm mostly sure I'm not bigender/trigender/pangender etc because it doesn't resonate and also I never got this thing with half a gender or more than one, I just thought demi-s at first because it leaves room for parts and bits that don't really fit. And I also dunno if what troubles me is my gender or my style as binarised and if I'm reffering to stuff correctly because SINCE WHEN IS GENDER SO COMPLICATED MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABT ITT whyyyy And I'm usually fine with being called a girl but !not! with being feminine and I feel like ~ meh~ and I want a dude's body and stubble, yeah, stubble would be cool. And I think that when I was a kid I never particularly cared, I mean I was tomboyish sometimes but not always and it usually depended on the environment. And yeah I hated dresses but now I don't and being called a girl never gave me pause but now it does and it is uncomfortable too. And I'm also thinking it's just me overthinking everything because nothing EVER gave me pause until my pinterest insisted "yeah ur trans" because of my more masc style and I was like "fine let's see. I might get rid of the soft fem outfits in my feed" and it was a downwards spiral. And I had been warned that after questioning ur sexuality comes gender identity and I said "I'm fine, I'm just nonconforming cis" and now idk nothing makes sense anymore. I'm sorry if this is triggering at all to anyone, with my binarised thinking and stuff but thing is: IM NOT OUT YEYY(not that id know what to come out as and not that my family would support me :l ). That's how people perceive me. And I just want to give a picture of what caused me this questioning. I know it's a lot to handle, but advice? And also some fashion tips. Tyssm <3

Hi!

Yeah, parents not being supportive can be an issue - I hope you're safe otherwise!

As for gender identity, have you looked into apagender? It doesn't explicitly include the fluidness you feel, but it seems to match the overall vibe you seem to be feeling.

And fashion? This is not the blog you should be asking - I have zero fashion sense