#this is literally not real this was a nicki minaj meme

[honeyedlashton]

OMG FINALLY!!! MY WELL DESERVED LASHTON NOTICES!! 🤗

[venuscnjunctpluto]

📸28 Degrees 📸

Credit: @venuscnjunctpluto

1000% sure this contributes to someones legacy and it is a cancer degree so this could imply the persons family played a huge role in their success.

ASC🦋Audrey Hepburn has this degree and she is known for her look and her name is referenced a lot. Along with Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. Actor Warren Beatty has this and his mom/sisters inspired him to become an actor which led to his acclaim. I think it could point to childhood notoriety or coming into the world with a purpose of achieving a household name. The family could have an impact on this persons entire persona and tied to his persons name in a way.

SUN🌞 Michael Jordan is extremely famous but also carries a cheerful image. He is listed as one of the greatest in his career field and has received a lot of accolades. In Aquarius, he was in the classic film Space Jam which blended animation and live action.

MOON🌜Kim Kardashian has this and her family are extremely famous. Their Show keeping up with the kardashians has allowed the family to hold onto the fame they might not have had before. She has numerous memes of her crying and also her mother Kris Jenner is well incorporated into Kim’s image.

MECURY🧠 Vince Staples known for being funny and extremely witty. He is heavily associated with his neighborhood and literally has an album called “Ramona Park Broke My Heart”. Solange has this as well and she is known as Beyoncé’s sister (which I do not condone or support but let’s be real) and mercury rules siblings. PartyNextDoor’s references a neighborhood hood and he is well known where he’s from. This might suggest being mostly known within your town/city. Will Smith is known for his role as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (neighborhood)

JUPITER 🏹- Reaching an Intense level of fame Michael Jackson.

VENUS💄Marilyn Monroe is known for her beauty and alleged relationships. Asap Rocky is known for his attractiveness, his fashion endeavors, and now his relationship with Rihanna. Angelina Jolie is known for her beauty as well as her relationships.

URANUS🛸 Megan thee Stallion became well known very quickly (collab w beyonce, song w Nicki, and a song w bts not too long into her career) and incorporated being tall in her name. I remember before she got super duper famous there was an article and her interest in anime was highlighted.

MARS🔥Rihanna known for being a go-getter and having a masculine edge. Nicki is known also for being able to occupy a genre that was male dominated. “Sexy B*tch but my money real manly”.

NEPTUNE 🪞Steve Jobs has an image curated in illusion. I read his bio and was shocked at how neurotic and insensitive he seemed to be. People dream to be like him and he serves as motivation for a lot of people. Jay a has this as well and I immediately think of the “would you rather have money or a sit down with Jay Z” conversation.

LILITH 🌶️ Ariana Grande has this and her scandals become extremely known for example the donut incident and her pattern of dating men w partners. People make comments about her getting away w a lot which could be due to her Lilith being in pisces. But no one can deny everything she’s been accused of/has done becomes known to EVERYONE. There was an athlete who got outed for sleeping an OF model (who also exposed his k*nks) and I check his chart to find 28 degree Lilith.

PLUTO 🦇 Nicki Minaj has had many eras and is known for changing the way female rappers are seen. (She also has pluto in 10th). Justin Bieber has this degree as well and he’s also has gone through many eras. He went from having the teen idol image…bad boy image…more spiritual image …

[ladyimaginarium]

who are you?

tag followers you want to know better!

NAME: Angel / Arcana / Ansale'wit / ᐋᓐᔐᓃ are my& core / host / singletsona names, but we're& also a namehoarder & our& main system name is the imaginarians galaxy. so. lmao

STAR SIGN:  Cancer Sun; Sagittarius Moon; Libra Rising; Leo Venus.

HEIGHT: Bodily 5′2″.

WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?: none of ur business lil bitch

PUT YOUR SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FEW SONGS THAT POPPED UP? HISS - Megan Thee Stallion ; Realer - Megan Thee Stallion ; E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE - CORPSEHUSBAND ; Black Barbies - Nicki Minaj ; Cocky Af - Megan Thee Stallion ; Haunted - Evanescence ; Miss Me - Drake & Lil Wayne ; Lithium - Evanescence ; Perfume - Britney Spears ; Be Prepared - The Lion King OST ; Over It - Bullet For My Valentine ; Under The Water - The Pretty Reckless ; Yayo - Lana Del Rey ; thousand eyes - FKA Twigs ; Out There - The Hunchback of Notre Dame OST ; NDA - Billie Eilish ; everything i wanted - Billie Eilish ; Desperate Measures - Marianas Trench ; Saviour - Lights ; Chaos Is A Ladder - Ramin Djawadi ; Cruel World - Faye ; The Winds Of Winter - Ramin Djawadi ; Nymphs Finding The Head Of Orpheus - Nicole Dollanganger ; Jenny Of Oldstones - Ramin Djawadi ; Daisy's Theme - The Bryan Ferry Orchestra ; antlers - Ethel Cain ; Famous Last Words (An Ode To Eaters) - Ethel Cain ; Ptolemaea - Ethel Cain.

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? yeah, my& ex enbyfriend wrote a song about me&. i& never got to hear it tho. they promised. i&. really wanted to hear that song. if anybody like secretly wrote a song or poetry about me& then they hiding it lmao.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? never. lmao

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? MNMNMMNUUUHHHH megan thee stallion for literally so many reasons. like. whats not to like about her. she tall, she hella cute & fine & hot asf & straight up one of the most beautiful women in the world imho, she's nerdy & educated, she looks fun to hang around, she speaks out about mental health & trauma (even after all the bs that so many ppl including black men & even other black women like whats going on w/ nicki minaj rn she went so far as mention her dead mom {like girl wtf} put her through & she literally got shot & a lotta folx didnt believe her & was calling her a liar & blaming her & making fun of her trauma & literally none of these white artists showed sympathy or even acknowledged what happened & who were all like support other women got real silent when megan clarified on her twitter & instagram & had to see people paint her as the aggressor & make fun of her traumatic experience all while trying to heal & losing both of her parents, getting fucked over by her record label, almost losing her life from getting shot at, getting backstabbed by the people she cared about & having people on the internet make fun of & make memes of her trauma & laughing at her pain on the internet & all this stupid shit bc misogynoir is such a massive issue, she literally went through so much shit & it genuinely makes me angry & i hope she has a support system), ngl if she dissed me& i& would deadass never leave my& house again LMAO she's insanely talented & confident, she writes her own raps, not only is she a rapper but she's also an actress, she literally makes every style work, she's queer & bisexual & actually supports trans ppl, she's only like what 6 years older than me, she loves anime & she really inspires me& & her strength gives me& strength too, she's v special to me& & if i& had a dream girl it'd probably be sb like her tbh, her music & just her existence alone helped w/ my& mental health & my& own self image & my& self esteem & my& trauma & reclaiming my& sexuality than my& psychiatrists ever did & im& not even exaggerating. lmao. ion rly like calling it crushes tho, it's more like. deepfound respect & admiration for a person. like. "damn this person is just so fuckin cool". & ion say that a lotta people & especially not about celebrities. megan & ethel cain are two of my biggest ones & are like tied in that whole area lmao.

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE; SOUND YOU LOVE? hate: the sound of people screamin bc it brings back bad memories lmfao ; love: absolute gotdamn silence. the sound of the ocean & birdsong & cats purring's nice too :>

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i& am a ghost (& have ghosts in our& system). lmao

HOW ABOUT ALIENS? i& am an alien (& have aliens in our& system). lmao

DO YOU DRIVE? tryna start my& course yeah.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? no bitch i& aint jinxing it.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? the winds of winter : arianne martell i & sansa stark / alayne stone i by grrm / gangsta. by kohske.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? ye for the most part.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? the love witch !!

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? had to get lil stitches in my& forehead bc undxed pots was a lil bitch & i& hit my head when i& fainted in highschool. lmao. thats just what i& remember tho. apparently i& had much worse when i& was a baby. like. wholeass surgeries & shit.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW? plurality literary tropes, transcending to godhood, come back wrong, the mad prophet archetype, apotheosis, tryna find faith in humanity, witchcraft & occultism, learning our& indigenous languages & cultures, & being gayass.

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? the vast majority of the time im& a very forgiving person. but i& don't forget. & especially as i& get older the less & less tolerance i& have for bs & same w/ forgiveness, especially after everything i've& been through to the point where my& doctor told me& that most would've kermitted if they'd experienced the things i& went through & im& like. kinda at my& limit. undxed cptsd aspd & bpd doesn't help things either. bc like these days im& just. like. callous & abrasive especially when im& irritated which is like. often. & i'm& like. one of the most patient people on the planet when it comes to the people i& genuinely care about & love so you'd have to do something fucked up for me& to tell ya i& dont give a shit. "well you should be the bigger person, take the high road!!" i've& literally Never benefitted from that shit. my& main abuser is still free & lives in the same neighborhood as me& fuck outta my& face. the cult i& was in was all "forgive those who hurt you!!!!!! yes even if they treated you badly!!!!" & that put my recovery back several years bc i& felt forced to forgive them or else i'd& be damned. "two wrongs dont make a right! if you get back at them you're making the world a worse place!!" the countless wrongs committed against me& didnt make a right either. choke. if w/e sb did to me was bad enough they ass is getting hexed and/or cursed. idgaf. fuck around & find out. & it also doesnt help that im& a cancer sun so tldr only if they fucked up REAL BAD. lmao

IN A RELATIONSHIP? im& in a qpr & in an insys relationship but bodily, outerworld wise? nah.

tagged by: hello im& angie im& 23 & i& steal memes for a living

tagging: @fossilizeddumbass @dilfsisko @abri-chan uhhhhhhhhh idk who else but i& encourage yall to steal if yall wanna do this

[arcadejohn127-9]

Okay, but, the obey me brother's with a MC/S-O who's the embodiment of a gen z?👀

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! thank you for the ask!

Oh you know I gotta do that!

The brothers with a gen-z MC

Lucifer:

It all started when he threatened to punish you

You went too far with one of your pranks with belphie and Satan

Your brain only processed 'come to my room' and 'punishment'

"you've forced my hand, don't worry though, I cannot hurt you due to Diavolos wishes"

"now, don't try to run- what are you wearing?"

This is awkward

You decided to strut in proud with your hottest outfit

"it seems there was a miscommunication."

"YEAH! NO SHIT LUCIFER!"

You'd rather die (again) than deal with this

DISTRACTION!

"uh- YEET!"

You threw the closest book to you, it bonked him right on the head

You're going to die now

Mammon:

"repeat after me, eat the rich - get that bread, get that head and leave, peace out."

You're teaching him well

You and Mammon are partners in crime.....literally

This is a headache for EVERYONE

You need to stop teaching him memes - please levithan was enough!

You just know that the brothers would of protected the capital better

Levithan:

He's hip, he's down with the fellow kids

He knows human world memes but when you find out the devildom has their own version

It becomes war

"IT'S OOF!"

"NO! YOU STUPID HUMAN! IT'S DOOF!"

You'll never agree what's right

"be my greasy gamer boyfriend, I will be your e-thot"

You both only speak in reaction memes

Everyone is sure you two speak another language

Satan:

You are one of his worst enemies yet he cannot fully hate you

He loves education so being able to learn from you about your internet culture is a gold mine

You walked in on him and Lucifer having an arguement

Due to your genius, you immediately pulled at your phone and started to play 'daddy issues'

"no memes in gen, don't worry kitten I'll protect you"

"I shouldn't of trusted you on my server"

"but kitten-"

"YOU'RE BANNED FROM BOOK CLUB"

Asmodeus:

One word

WAP

You HAD to introduce asmo to Megan thee stallion and Nicki Minaj

Tik tok dances are a must

He will barge into your room and demand you show him more dances

You two make those object earings

Please he will buy loads of clothes from the human world to fit into the trends

"oh, dear, I love your shoes laces~"

Wanna see some real speed?

You ASCENDED from the cringe memories

Beezlebub:

Is it cake or is it a normal object?

When that was the hype you were pranking this poor man CONSTANTLY

Though, it's canon he's ate a pillar so nothing is stopping him

Beel has watched you pick fights with other demons so it was a surprise when you came running up to him

Phone in hand and looked like you were on the verge of tears

"Beel, I can't talk on the phone! Please do it for me!"

He's basically your guard dog, he has to carry you out of situations so you don't get killed by demons

Belphegor:

Choke me like you hate me but you love me-

"hey, belphie - remember when you killed me? Wanna do it again?"

"I thought we moved past this-"

"okay but I failed my latest test and I refuse to tell Lucifer- END ME!"

You showed him squish-mellows and now that's all you see on his bed

He lets you dress him up in different trends

His favourites are cottage core and e-boy

"humanity should die"

"I second that"

I'm gen Z and somehow this made me feel old and out of touch

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[spaceboxingpsycho]

Top 5 ippo fights?

hehe, the last time i received this ask was 3 years ago :') and i answered it, but now i am a different person, old, crusty and deranged. It's also very lovely timing to ask that, because for the last YEAR me and my best friend in the whole world Nihinski are re-reading Ippo manga 3 chapters per day, and talking mad smack and memes all about it (hence my shitpost tag #ippo reread club) and I can reexperience it all with new perspective, and find underrated gems I never truly appreciated. and of course, vice versa

originally my fav 5 fights are Chaos, Lallapalooza, world champion Volg, Sendo vs Shigeta and Ippo vs Date. none of them are overrated really, I guess Chaos is, but it is also

p̸̪̗̪͍͓͗̐̑͐e̴̞̪̐̚ä̵͙̗́k̵̢̤̫̱̝̤͑̒̆̀̈́̔̄ ̴̛͙̺̲̹̒͊̋a̷̢̫̾̑̈́͋̾͆̕ẽ̸̟͎̾̈̓̑̍̓͘s̸̡͔͇̱̤͉͕̔͐ͅt̷̡͇͉̟͕̼͔̘̿̅̍͝h̴��͈ẽ̴̡͉̩͇͇̰̳̃t̵̼͖̳̣̮̔͑̏ḯ̶̭͖̎̓ͅc̶͇̠̜̎̅̐̊͜͜͝ ̴̜͗͊̌́̑̓̕͝e̶̙͉̗̞͑̍̔͛͐̈́d̸̟̋̀̈́̔̉̍̅̀g̶̠͊̉̀̄̉ë̶̤̳͓̻l̵̹̬͓͇͍͑͆̀̿̕͠ơ̷͎̙̜̌̓̅̊̈́̆r̵͍̼̰̲̮̈́̒͆͌͘̕͝d̴̢͍̟͙̮̗̭͊̉ ̵̢̰̻̲͈̗͓͖̓̿́̄̈͠p̶̢̳͔͇̳̠͛͛̈̓͂̈̆̓e̷͔̽͋͗ŗ̴̛̰̞͐̿̑̅̎͠f̶̺͚̅̋̚o̶͇̎͠r̸͙̝͊͠m̶̡̢̥̮̪̝̳̤͂́͊̄̚ȁ̷͎͇̮̫̗n̶͎̹̟̼͂̈́̾͝c̴͓̘̼͉͈̓͋̽͂ę̸̼̰̩̯̂̌ͅͅ.

Volg's fight is SO SO GOOD, it literally is character journey cathartic completion fight, this is the dramatic Ippo fight of surviving against all odds done RIGHT

never 4get

so now i will do top 5 severely underrated AMAZING fights i never fully appreciated before

1. Aoki vs Imae aka absolute himbo showdown of two absolutely best boys, gave comedy, gave heart, gave life lessons, gave EVERYTHING literally the best fucking fight in the whole entire series

2. Ippo vs sigma male Alf motherfucking Ganjalez - i was dreading to reread this because i though it's gonna last 2 months but it was a) way way way shorter than expected b) the mood was fantastic, it was a proper wild ride to a foreshadowed great disasterina c) alf literally broke down my door came into my house and snatched my wig clean off and now i simp for his sigma ass

3. Itagaki vs Imai take 1 and take 2 - quick and dynamic, two actually unexpected and unusual outcomes, fantastic goofy drama and rival storyline between these two. RIDICULOUSLY UNDERRATED BY BOTH READERS AND THE AUTHOR. oh my god ..... the mistreatment these two receive, i cannot deal with it

4. Ippo vs Take Keiichi - ok listen the way when i was rereading i was like 'who the fuck is take keiichi' and then it shockingly turned out one of the most interesting and sad quick fights in ippo, where the roles of 'who is the real underdog' are completely flipped and all you see is a crafty old man desperately trying to find all tricks in his sleeve, to do something against most talented boy made of pure muscle with monster penis who hits like five trucks

5. Takamura vs Bryan Hawk - probably not underrated by most but I never really favored this one, when genuinely.. it is Takamura's best fight imo, the bloody mad showdown between two WWE heels *nicki minaj aggressively blasts in the background*

[kenyatta]

If you think it’s not a deliberate, savvy manipulation of the online culture, think again: As Brian Feldman reported for New York in 2019 as “Old Town Road” climbed the charts, for years as a teenager Nas operated a popular Twitter account that reposted and repurposed viral content, as well as advocating on the behalf of his favorite rapper and pop star, Nicki Minaj. Nas isn’t just a “digital native,” he’s a social media native, and clearly understands on a deep level the cultural and algorithmic incentives that drive things to virality. He understands all too well that in 2021, there may be no quicker way to pump oxygen into a brand than to let partisan politics do it for you.

Unlike controversies of previous decades, when clear lines between “us” and “them” made it easy for cultural conservatives to denounce hip-hop artists, it’s possible that much of the offense taken by the right at Nas’ provocation comes from a sense of betrayal. His debut hit was a viral goof on a cowboy anthem which reasserted ownership of the hip-hop beats white “bro-country” artists have been appropriating now for more than a decade. He won a Country Music Association award, rare for a black artist, much less an openly gay one. He scored a collaboration with Wrangler, a brand whose previously most prominent celebrity partnership was with the anti-charismatic uber-square quarterback Drew Brees. In the thick of the Trump era, Nas was a young, brash rapper embraced by red state fans.

And then he burned them. Or, at least, he had the gall to tweak their religious sensibilities. That, too, speaks to the shifting tectonic plates of American pop culture. When Nas was born in 1999, roughly 70 percent of American adults reported belonging to a church, according to Gallup. Today, that number is 47 percent. Marilyn Manson’s sacrilege was an affront to the mainstream; it puts Lil Nas X squarely in the majority. In that sense, the heated reaction from the right is just a confirmation of Trump’s instinct about religion in America: Though seemingly uninterested in religion himself, he recognized that millions of evangelical Christians could be recruited to the culture wars as a minority that feels increasingly embattled.

Just as a series of impotent “Go woke, go broke” boycott attempts have repeatedly failed to dissuade corporations from taking liberal political stances, there is no meaningful pressure threatening Nas’ various corporate partnerships. After four years of the Trump presidency, it’s easy to understand Nas’ provocation as a turning of the tables — making the confrontational demand for conservatives to “stay mad” amid the initial uproar over “Montero,” and sit with the fact that many, probably most, Americans are perfectly unbothered by a campy satanic lap dance.

At the same time, that very fact gives the whole episode a bit of a spiking-the-football quality. Nas, his fans and his critical allies have already won the culture wars, at least nationally. Some liberal responses to the controversy seemed willfully obtuse in ignoring the extent to which many Christians consider Satan a literal and active force for evil, with a lack of charity that likely wouldn’t be expressed toward any other faith. The personally cathartic qualities of the song and video, as laid out in a moving note from Nas that accompanied their release, are undeniable, but their corporate-approved glitz and lack of any real transgression render them inert to anyone but either those who share his catharsis or the most easily offended.

[the-resurrection-3d]

3 and 13 for the 3 songs meme!

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

Been looping “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” by Lil Nas X, “Lips of An Angel” by Hinder and the “nicki minaj goes faceshopping” mashup by FAME IV on Youtube lately. “Montero” because a) it bangs and b) I can totally imagine Ryan doing a cover of it at a show after him and Min-Gi make their relationship public. (”Now who wants to hear my favorite stripper song?” and the crowd roars.)  “Lips of an Angel” because it is the fucking Requiem Stand of hunger dunger dang music and my friend Jake and I love to clown on it. mfw when my girl’s in the next room sometimes I wish she was you. You just had to be on that phone call. 

“nicki minaj goes faceshopping” because of that animation I showed you (flashing lights warning!) and because it makes a discordant literally laptop-melting black dresses style amv flash over my eyes. 

13. three songs you want at your funeral

An immediate answer is “Treasure Hugs” by Stepdad. It would honestly take me a while to dissect why this is one of the greatest songs ever made and even then it won’t encapsulate how I felt standing in the middle of a thunderstorm naked just blaring this shit. You either get it or you don’t. I don’t really know how to answer this question unironically aside from “Treasure Hugs” because it’s not something I’ve given a lot of thought to and nothing is coming to mind that’s more life-affirming than TH. 

IRONIC ANSWERS THOUGH? PolitikZ’s “REAL HIP HOP” and the YYY theme. I mean obviously. Also let TomTord Roommate rap a little bit about white genocide. 

[ the “three songs ask” set for anyone who doesn’t feel like scrolling lol ] 

[pisati]

I already posted on main about it and I’ve got nowhere else to really vent. I know my co-receptionist is active on twitter and I don’t know if she’s ever tried to look for me (probably not), but I don’t want to risk complaining where she could possibly see.

it’s just been a long, shitty week. and it’s only tuesday. we had two euthanasias yesterday and two today. usually we get one TOPS in a week. most weeks we don’t have any. 

I don’t know how many weeks we’ve been doing this now, but it’s definitely been over a month. I’ve worked with the lead receptionist a bunch since I started. she’s nice, but she’s very much got her own personality. she’s from new jersey, and that’s the explanation for a lot of her attitude, she says. I respect her and how well she knows herself and her boundaries. but I really feel like she could be a little nicer. I get that she’s worked in healthcare for a long time and she’s seen some shit but she acts like she knows everything and sometimes it’s just really insensitive.

I don’t think she means to sound rude, but there have been times when I’ve been talking about something and she’s only half-listening, usually because she’s working on something, and she’ll finish what she was doing and go “now what are you babbling about?” she did it to one of the techs the other day too. I know she just means to ask “what were you saying?” but it really makes me feel like whatever I’m saying is just nonsense to her, like I’m running at the mouth and whatever it is isn’t important. 

we listen to what she wants to listen to. for 12 straight hours, 3 days a week, every week. according to her my music taste is respectable, but “a lot of sad-sackery”, so we listen to her music. we have limited overlap, but I don’t say anything. not because I don’t want to start an argument, I’m pretty much cool with whatever. but I’ve noticed that when we listen to what she likes, it’s often just a small handful of things she likes. I KNOW DMX has way more songs than just the same few. same with nicki minaj and beyonce. we’ve listened to some rage against the machine, which I can appreciate, but there are definitely way more songs than just killing in the name, bombtrack, take the power back, and know your enemy. I’ve listened to musical soundtracks. we did les mis and chicago and maybe a few others last week. I’ve sat there and watched videos I didn’t care to watch, because she’s really enthused about black opera singers and bruce springsteen and whomever the fuck else, because I like to think I’m a nice person and when someone is excited about something and wants to share it I let them be fucking excited about it, even if I don’t give half a flying fuck about it. today was a disney day, apparently, so I listened to soundtracks for mary poppins, the little mermaid, and beauty and the beast. sound of music too. whatever other eclectic songs tickle her fancy on any given day. but I’ve noticed it seems to just be the things she likes. I’ve come to work on disney days before but I don’t recall hearing soundtracks to more than just a few movies. I tried to get her to listen to a little hozier once or twice; since she’s a singer we often end up talking about vocal talent. and I was trying to show her what a great vocalist he is. she listened to maybe a few seconds of a song or two and, nah, not her taste. she gets why someone like me would like his voice, though. today she was laughing about something one of the techs had said; we have a whiteboard in the back hallway and every week or so someone (her, maybe?) puts up a prompt and people can write their responses. ya know, team bonding, sorta. this week she’d put up “what two famous people would you like to have dinner with?” and one of the techs had written “leo dicaprio and billie eilish”. and she was laughing about it. she’s not a fan of billie’s popular stuff. I told her about how I didn’t think I’d much like billie at first, but I listened to her whole album and I was surprised, I thought she had a really nice voice. just.. nope. I asked if I could play one song. just one. nope, nope, nope. she’d listened to half a second of each song on her album and decided she didn’t like any of them. I didn’t press.

yesterday she really just... ugh. the head vet had come up to the front desk to tell us that a really sweet client offered to buy us lunch, and did we have any ideas on what we’d like? they were thinking panera. I wasn’t sure if there was anything there I’d eat, but I’d take a look at the menu. my coworker had piped up with “she’s like super picky” and then ensued the “so what do you eat?” conversation. I didn’t really have much to say, since I’m tired of that fucking question and I don’t have such a small palate that I can just list off everything. she interrupted with “mac and cheese, I know that.” I forget what else she said, but I tried to explain that it was a sensory issue and there’s actually a disorder that involves a sensory rejection of food that lasts well into adulthood, and she was just sitting there next to me trying to hold back laughs. I asked her what was funny, she goes “it just sounds like picky eating, like it sounds so ridiculous”. 

yeah, because I love being 25 and not being able to go to more than a tiny handful of restaurants with friends because those few places have one thing on the menu I’ll eat. I fucking love being too deeply embarrassed to special-order anything plain that I’d rather not eat at all. I love the “so what DO you eat” question, I love being laughed at and made fun of, I love feeling like a child who could never “grow out of it”. I really fucking love it, that’s why I continue to do this to myself. fuck’s sake.

this is the person who takes euthanasias so seriously that she’ll fuck anyone’s day up if they interrupt her while she’s getting paperwork together or if they’re being loud while the owner is in the room. she told me about her home health care work and how she dealt with a lot of people who were in hospice and she was real sympathetic to just about anything, because they were dying. I know I’m not dying, this doesn’t involve death, but the complete lack of empathy towards me just... really hurts. here I am trying to explain myself the way I always feel the need to, because I apparently have to have a fucking reason why I’m so picky, and she won’t hear any of it. she was fucking laughing at me. 

I don’t feel disliked at my job, but I’m getting that feeling like I did in high school and college. like I’m both a part of something and not. I know I’m weird and a little awkward, but... she talks to people on the other team and they leave memes for each other. there’s a new girl on the other team who only started a month or two ago, but my co-receptionist is leaving memes for her specifically; the new girl even called today and she picked up, and they were having a riot of a conversation from what I could hear; a lot of genuine laughter, and I could hear the way she was talking, it sounded just so natural. a lot of the time with me she doesn’t quite sound like that. she’s got a pretty dirty sense of humor, and she was leaving some pretty gross memes for the new girl, meanwhile there was a video she’d shown the new doctor and the head vet that she didn’t want to show me because she “wasn’t sure if we were there yet”. she’d already described it to me, and she finally showed it to me today; it was just some nerdy guy singing about pussy in an 80s R&B voice. nothing I couldn’t have found somewhere on the internet myself. hell, it’s probably already floating around tumblr somewhere. idk, I don’t feel disliked but I am starting to feel left out. like, even the new people are more integrated than I am, and I’ve been there 8 months. I don’t know why this happens to me literally everywhere I go. every job, every school (except IUP somehow??), fucking everything. I just never feel like a true part of anything and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m not unfriendly. I don’t think I’m unapproachable. maybe I really just am that boring.

I’m just really tired of this. when she was out sick that one day last week, and I had to handle 13 straight hours of reception basically by myself, with some help from the office manager, I actually felt less tired than when she was there. I feel like I have to put on a face for her, like I have to pretend to be interested in whatever she’s going on about all day. I can’t say anything to her because she’s the lead receptionist, but it’s been getting on my nerves lately that I try to actually do work and she’s sitting there looking at memes, telling me she has to find this particular one of jason momoa so she can print it out have it at her desk because he’s just so attractive

I didn’t get a break yesterday, because our doctors were lagging so far behind and I had to keep the phones on. she left to go do something, and I was left to answer phones by myself. I almost didn’t get a break today either; there were still one or two clients left by 1pm and I couldn’t turn the phones over to the break message, and she had a thing to do with her car so she’d be back. I forget how I ended up mentioning that I didn’t get a break yesterday either and she was like “well that’s me the other times the doctors are behind. it’s your turn”. and while that is fair... one of the techs came up to talk to her after she’d left. she looked at me and was like, “where’s trish?” and I was like “... on break”. and she looked at me and I looked at her and she was like “...she’s been taking more breaks than any of us”. and I was like “yyyyep.” she goes out a few times during the day to have a cigarette too. usually when it’s quiet, but of course in the space of 10 minutes there’s a lot that can happen. often it does. thankfully today we had those last few clients out by 1:30 so I did get to clock out, and she let me stay off the clock until 2:30. but if the doctors were as behind today as they were yesterday, I’d have had no break today either.

we pretty much only ever talk about what she wants to talk about. she’s constantly interrupting me or talking over me, so I just let her talk. I’ve heard more about her wild sex life back in her 20s than I’d ever care to know. today she told a story three times (once to me, once to the head vet, and once to one of the techs) about how she can accurately guess a man’s dick size by the way he walks, and how she did this to some guy she dated in her early 20s and he was surprised by it. I don’t want to make things tense or awkward by saying I don’t want to talk about these things and I’d personally rather listen to music that keeps me calm and just quietly scan, fax, label, and attach things in between the periodic phone calls, but I can hardly get a word in edgewise anyway, so it’s mostly just me listening. she’s let me know in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t like rats and doesn’t think they’re cute; doesn’t want to see pictures of them, just.. nothing. I personally think that you can’t claim to love animals if you only love the ones you think are cute. but I don’t even know if she does. I couldn’t tell you why she’s working at a vet clinic. 

it’s fucking exhausting. it’d be exhausting with alexa too, I know that for a fact. I’m getting better at my job but I still need a supervising receptionist, so either way I’d have to deal with one of the two. I’m just glad it’s only 3 days a week, but even my 4 day weekends are flying by. the days are all blending together and I’m having a hard time getting my brain to work. none of this is easy. but it definitely doesn’t help to have to work with someone who’s so rigid about everything they do; like, I spend all fucking day listening to what you have to say and listening to every single song you want to listen to and watching every stupid video you think is funny (though some of them are; other times it’s like.. something reminded her of a veggie tales episode so now we have to watch it), and I can’t even play one song I like because you’ve listened to a split second of it and automatically think you don’t like it? the fuck, dude.

just.. the way she acts like she knows everything about the way people act, and how little tolerance she has for bullshit. I appreciate that second bit, but there’s other times when she really just has no sympathy and I feel like everything would be easier if she did. yesterday our one doctor was lagging really far behind and she was getting so annoyed because he had all this time for his appointments and people were having to wait and he never caught up all day; one of the clients ended up being one who was VERY particular about estimates and payments and shit and apparently he’d fucked something up after she had told him and the tech well ahead of time to be very careful with her. and she’d about had enough of him after that. by the end of the day he looked like he was either about to cry or had been crying. and he apologized to her for fucking up; I forget exactly what he said and she accepted his apology, but it almost seemed superficial. she had had it. the second she was done with her shit for the night she left. I stayed a few extra minutes to do something, but... like, even I could tell there was more to the story there. you don’t just lag all day for no reason, and especially not when you have to start the day on a euthanasia that wasn’t expected. I get that when you’ve worked with people for so many years you end up with a low tolerance for bullshit, but come on. I’ve been dealing with shitty people my whole life but I at least understand what it’s like to have a bad day. this particular doctor, a lottttt of the staff has a problem with, for many reasons. he’s only ever been nice to me, and I don’t know a lot of what goes on that annoys reception and the techs so much (often it’s some of his medical decisions, which... I wouldn’t know anything about that. how am I supposed to know what his rationale was for prescribing meloxidyl for a rhodesian ridgeback? the owner asked me for a refill and I requested it). so I guess some people’s patience runs low with him. but even so, I don’t think I could ever lack empathy that much. no matter how long I do this shit. I was tempted to ask him if he was okay, but I figured he had a lot on his plate to get to. he was there til like 10 last night, and his worklist was really long today too. I could tell he’s been on edge since last week. it’s not my business to know why, and I don’t have to. just be fucking nice to people, lmao

for someone who’s so picky about her music taste, she’s got no fucking right to talk about my eating. she won’t even venture outside the things she likes. she decides once that she doesn’t like something and that’s the end of it. so why is it suddenly a problem when I don’t want to try a variety of foods?

I’m just. really frustrated. I don’t want to have to vent about my coworkers but I’m not going to get through this easily. we don’t even know how long we’re going to have to do this. I found out today alexa’s husband is now in the hospital; they’re treating it like COVID and/or really bad pneumonia, but what the fuck does that mean for her team? for mine? did she bring germs to the clinic? is she going to have to quarantine along with her team? is my team going to have to run shit? I have no idea, and I only found out about this through facebook. I haven’t heard anything else from anyone. we do sanitize between teams so there’s a low risk of cross-contamination, but... we don’t get everything. there’s no way to.

I need to go to bed soon. I’m so glad tomorrow’s my friday. I’m ready for this week to be over.

[tatyneedshalp]

Get to know me tag

answer these questions then tag people you would like to get to know better! I was tagged by @snakuchan cuhz she is my eternal solmate yoongi can move to the side bcuz im the big kahuna here.

Nickname- Taty by all my friends along wit puta or monga and the occasional dumbass other than that im also known as Tina cuhz i game a lot and i hate using my real name or nickname it weird.

Height- 5,3 its in my medical documents so suck on dat peasants.

Time- 8:42 p.m i spent my day playing animal crossing and listening to video game theme music with rain backgrounds cuhz it was a rainy day today so aesthetic.and i was reading Taehyung fanfics cuhz dats the bae.

Fave Bands/Artists - Shit. uhhh. They aint in any specific order so. Bts, Monsta x, Red Velvet, Twice, Got7, Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake,  Shawn Mendes, Astro, Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, Joji, and Childish Gambino to name a few.

Song stuck in my head - The wii shop channel music someone fukn HELP ME.

Last movie I saw - Uh...crap uh i think it was The Dark Knight. Christian Bale is a noice actor and the joker is a masterpiece.

Other Blogs- Nah i just got me *smiles emptily*

Do I get asks - @snakuchan From dat angel. Love her plz she deserves it.

Why I chose this username - OH GOD PLZ NO  Uh well this used to be a tumblr i made to check otome game updates back in 2012 or sm and my name was the name of one of em. Now its just me, memes and kpop.... *cries*

Following - 318 *sips tea* idk why i only care for like 20 or so

What I’m wearing - A normal black romper i needa change into my pjs but i do dat before i go to bed. 

Dream job - BEING TAEHYUNG’S BOOTY CALL I actually have no idea I know I like fashion but the circumstances to go to school for that is rather bad so I just gotta see what Ima do now or wait it out and see what happens I’m only 18 anyway. I TURN 19 AUGUST FUK YE IM A LEO.

Favorite food- *shrugs* anything is fine as long as there is chicken or meat involved. I’m weird.

Play any Instruments - I uh played recorder in elementary. and in high school I learned to play the piano I did two years of piano and at the start it was just fun and joking around cuhz @snakuchan was there and teacher was busy with her musical career so it was just fun and in 2nd year it was advanced and she was still rather busy so I uh I played modern music on the piano by myself and a lot of studio ghibli soundtracks.

Hair Color - Listen up ok? Natural hair color is literally ash brown like woah. but I dye it a lot of browns so shes like a dark hazelnut color at the moment

Languages - ENGRISH and ESPANOL et un peu de francais ;) not rlly i know a few words and sentences in french but i aint a pro. I do know spanish after all cuban descendant right here.

Most iconic song -  *stares emptily at screen*  I'm the type of girl that look you dead in the eye, eye I'm real as they come, if you don't know why - I'm fly-why-why I seen you try to switch it up, but girl you ain't got those I'm the wonderwoman. Let me go get my rope I'm a supermodel and mommy, si­ mommy Amnesty International got bankrupt. I'm on top, on lock Love my ass and my abs and the video called Promiscuous My style is ridi-di-diculous-ulous-ulous. 

I chose this cuhz its wat im listening to but i aint got a top song i love too many to choose. Thats give it to me from Timbland, nelly furtado, and justin timberlake.

Random Fact -  i see spirits and sense bad things when they are near and I alrdy can predict what will happen in near future this aint a gift this a curse. Its hauntingly helpful tho.

Describe yourself as Aesthetic things- Lips dripped in gold, the vast clear skies, the feeling of the cool breeze passing thru ya hair, handfuls of expensive jewels and gems, cat eyes with smokey eyeshadow, rainy days with nostalgic piano music playing, the view of a sparkling city from a rooftop, the feeling you get thinking of your future soulmate, Small affection from ur friends, Pastel bathbombs, and the feeling of finally accomplishing goals you set for urself. TAEHYUNG BREAKING ME

I tag @bmwginger i always had massive respect for this gal even if we barely talk but i c u bb reblogging my taehyung n v fotos and the ocassional monsta x. *throws support and hearts at u* Ur quiet supporter spoketh.

[full0fwine-blog]

Fashion Week developed into fight club on Sept. 7 when Cardi B and Nicki Minaj got into a now-infamous heated run-in at the Harper's Marketplace Icons party, with pictures of the "Bodak Yellow" rap artist being escorted out of the place shoeless and with a big mark over her left eye immediately going viral. The greatest eliminate from NYFW Spring 2019? Style Week is not for the weak. After the shocking fight, a source informed E! News that "event staffers were mortified" about the fight. The insider added that the Icons gala is expected to be "the most unique and glamorous celebration," however their scuffle "eclipsed months of effort and an otherwise amazing night." Ah, don't you simply like the smell of elitism at the end of summer season? " I was sitting ideal next to her. She tumbled over in my lap," Style Calendar released Ruth Finley informed the Associated Press. "The show was just starting. I believed she passed out. 2 males brought her out.". However the saddest NYFW of all occurred in 2012, when 95-year-old socialite Zelda Kaplan died after collapsing at designer Joanna Mastroianni. And just this previous NYFW, the current lineup of New york city women obviously were triggering somewhat of a scene at Pamella Roland's show, per the gospel inning accordance with Page 6. At least the RHONY girls' presence at a show ever got somebody fired, which is what happened to Kelly Cutrone, she of The Hills' frightening employer girl popularity, when she had Ashley Dupre participate in the Yigal Azrouël program in 2009. However here's the thing: Minaj and Cardi B's battle is far from the first "unsightly" event to go down throughout NYFW, with the semi-annual occasion having a long history of battles, showdowns and places falling apart, hurting well-dressed attendees. " It was dreadful, but I returned up," the Oscar winner informed E! News after the frightening incident, which was captured on-camera. "It can be scary," she included of the paparazzi's often invasive ways. Somebody who was a little upset after an incident at Fashion Week? Nicole Kidman, with very good reason: she was being knocked over by a paparazzo on a bicycle outside of her hotel in 2013. Cutrone, cool as a cucumber as ever, informed the paper, "I've been fired before, and I'll be fired again. It's the nature of our industry, and it does not distress me.". " Some visitors left to attend her show. It wasn't a mass exodus, but it was obvious," The Daily Monster reported of Jacobs' show starting an hour and a half later than originally set up. Kors' isn't the only significant designer to deal with venue concerns, as several visitors were hurt when they were struck by falling lighting equipment throughout Diane Von Furstenberg's program in 2005. " The way they went by taking a look at this disgusting turmoil, I will always remember," she recalled. "I was mortified." It wasn't PETA's very first time crashing the event in protest of the use of animal fur and skin, as they also tossed red paint on the runway at Randolph Duke's show in 2000, an event that likely influenced the paint-throwing scene in the Sex and the City movie. (God, Samantha missed New york city!). But Frankel's Fashion Week drama wasn't done right now, as she was then seated beside co-star/enemy Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Awkward tension and a name-drop off right away occurred! While he didn't address the Rihanna rumors directly, Jacobs took to Instagram to "seriously say sorry" for and discuss his tardiness, including a list of truths, not "excuses.". A Cosmopolitan fashion market director who needed stitches after being struck in the head took legal action against the designer for medical payment along with payment for pain and suffering. In 2008, Jill Zarin stormed out of a Luca show due to the fact that she was NOT seated in the front row. She later attempted to explain her behavior, stating, "I was having a bad day, was not in an excellent state of mind," which she wanted to be the home of see her child after her very first day of school. Obviously, you cannot relive previous NYFW drama without bringing some Real Homemakers into the mix, and the girls of RHONY have certainly had their fair share of front row concerns. Scandal would strike again for Kors, a previous Project Runway judge, in 2003, when PETA crashed his program to throw tofu pies at Wintour and (gasp!) Sarah Jessica Parker. At the Pamella Roland show in 2010, Bethenny Frankel and Luann de Lesseps entered a heated argument when the Skinnygirl mogul believed Lu was taking some digs at her over her feud with Zarin. "I don't like you and I think you're a snake," Frankel simmered. The Countess' response? "You're nasty and I'm not going to do this here.". When Minaj broke her silence about the occurrence on her Queen Radio program on Apple Music's Beats 1, she said it was "so humiliating" to go through that in front of such an "upper tier" crowd. " Following the showing of his Fall Winter Season 2009 Collection, Yigal Azrouël has decided to fire front-of-house PR Business, People's Revolution, for mismanagement," a news release sent after the event said, per the NY Daily News. Don't remember who Duprel is? Well, get ready for a blast from political scandal past as she was the call woman who infamously hooked up with then NY governor Eliot Spitzer, so fashion insiders were aghast. In reality, drama can decrease behind-the-seams, as reports recently appeared that Marc Jacobs actively postponed the start of his show (which is always among the most punctual) in order to avoid them from attending Rihanna's Savage x Fenty underwear program, which took the grand ending slot far from him. Dorinda Medley, Ramona Vocalist, Sonja Morgan and Tinsley Mortimer were all reportedly recording for the program, which was "disruptive" to the remainder of the attendees. No word yet if Singer yelled for everybody to "Take a Xanax! Calm down!". The very first significant dust-up of record that occurred was way back in 1990 at a Michael Kors' program, which was kept in a loft area ... which was clearly unfinished as plaster literally fell from the ceiling onto a few of the market's leading critics, with THE Anna Wintour even helping to pick plaster from their heads, per Elle. Can you just imagine that taking place today? (Oh, the memes we might've had.). " It was my wishful thinking that we could achieve all that had to be provided for this show with the circumstances we dealt with," he wrote as one of the facts. "I was wrong. Not due to the fact that everyone didn't strive or offer it their all and more, life is just that way sometimes.".

[fangirlingtodeath513]

Playlist Meme

@amirosebooks tagged me! (Merry Christmas!) I’m also gonna use my top of 2017 Spotify playlist cause it just makes the most sense?

Rules: we’re snooping upon your playlist. Set your entire playlist on shuffle and report the first 10 tracks that pop up and then choose 10 friends.

1. No Frauds by Nicki Minaj - I have nothing to say about this song other than I love Nicki Minaj and will literally listen to almost anything she puts out  2. Woman by Kesha - Kesha is back and I am so proud of her. Her album is amazing and this is such a hype song. 3. Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes - I... have nothing to say about this. It’s a good song. *shrug* 4. No Good by Kaleo - Yo if you like rock (and by rock I mean bands like Imagine Dragons) then you will LOVE Kaleo. They’re fantastic. 5. Take Me To Church by Hozier - Hozier can slay me with his vocals any day. 6. I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy - Fall Out Boy’s just... real good? 7. She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer - 5SOS is real good and also Luke is beautiful and the lip piercing just... ????? I love it???? 8. Friction by Imagine Dragons - I’m honestly surprised this is the only Imagine Dragons song on the list, I have a fuckton of their stuff saved. They’re incredible. 9. Heavy (feat. Kiiara) by Linkin Park - I love this song a lot. If you haven’t heard it, do yourself a favor and go listen. 10. Hearts Don’t Break Around Here by Ed Sheeran - Divide was fuckin fire I will fight you on this.

Whoops I almost published this without tagging people. It’s late and I need to go write this Christmas fic that is very late so if you wanna do this feel free!

[lesbeanflowers]

I was tagged by @englishtealarry you the real mvp :)

1. Nicknames? -Amai

2. Gender? - Female

3. Star Sign? - Gemini (on the cusp of Taurus)

4. Height? - 5’6-5’7

5. Time? - 9:49pm

6. Birthday? - May 24th

7. Favourite bands/groups? — *cracks knuckles* One Direction, Green Day, Paramore, The National, The Avett Brothers, Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Queen, Led Zepplin, Coldplay, Earth Wind and Fire, DJ Khaled, Vulfpeck, Superfruit, Pentatonix, Bleachers, The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Doors, HOMESHAKE, The O’Jays, Oasis, Gorillaz, Jackson Five, Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros, Sleater Kinney, Mumford & Sons, Weezer, Blink 182, Panic! At The Disco, Kings of Leon, Five For Fighting, Walk The Moon, Nirvana, Radiohead, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Vampire Weekend, Linkin Park, System of a Down, Taco Cat, Diet Cig, Nice As Fuck, Lorde, The Internet, OFWGKTA, The Temptations, Funkadelic, Cameo, Lumineers, The Head & The Heart, The 1975, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Clash, The Smiths, The Sex Pistols, Beastie Boys, Talking Heads, TLC, En Vogue, Xscape, LTD, fun., Aerosmith, AC/DC, Fleetwood Mac, Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons, Groove Theory, The Fugees, The Brand New Heavies, Arctic Monkeys, DNCE, Fleet Foxes, The Frames, My Chemical Romance, Boyz II Men, The Velvet Underground, Tegan and Sara, Mariana’s Trench, The Supremes, She & Him, Foo Fighters. The list goes on

8. Favourite solo artists? - Harry, Louis, Niall, Liam, Beyoncé, Chance The Rapper, Rihanna, Demi Lovato, Kesha, Dua Lipa, Troye Sivan, Halsey, Lana Del Rey, SZA, Prince, Beck, Erykah Badu, Amy Winehouse, Frank Ocean, Michael Jackson, Kehlani, Kendrick Lamar, J Cole, Common, Kanye West, Mac Demarco, Zayn, Ed Sheeran, Tyler The Creator, Pink Guy/Joji, Rich Chigga, Willow, Angel Haze, Mary Lambert, Hayley Kiyoko, Maggie Rogers, Kevin Garrett, Aaliyah, Alicia Keys, PJ Morton, Jill Scott, MIKA, Marvin Gaye, Drake, Nicki Minaj, David Bowie, Chaka Khan, Mariah Carey, P!nk, Britney Spears, Sia, Fiona Apple, Regina Spektor, Glen Hansard, Nora Jones, D’Angelo, Jeff Buckley, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Sufjan Stevens, Nick Drake, Musiqsoulchild, Anthony Hamilton, Amel Larreuix, Alice Smith, Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross, George Michael, Eric Clapton, Joe Cocker, Father John Misty, Bon Iver, LCD Soundsystem, Noname, Tupac, Notorious BIG, Lil Peep, DRAM, Bruno Mars, Tom Waits, Mitski, Gabe Gundacker (yes, the vine dude). The list goes on

*shameless plug: I know I’ve probably said this but I’m obsessed with music and music sharing so follow me on Spotify @Amai Zackery

9. Song stuck in my head? - Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue

10. Last movie you watched? - Free State of Jones

11. Last show you watched? - Liv and Maddie lol

12. When did you create your blog? — I’ve had Tumblr since Jan. 2012 but I got locked out of my old account so I’ve been with this one since May 2016

13. What do I post?- Larry, 1D, ot4, ot5, memes, animals, Carmilla, Supercorp, Runaways, The Bold Type, literally any other TV show I️ become obsessed with or am interested in watching, any movies I️ become obsessed with or am interested in watching, my fave music or things I️ wanna listen to, any books I’m really into or wanna read, gay stuff, writing, art rec, aesthetic, celebrities, anything I wanna save for later

14. Last thing I googled? — The Fresh Prince of Bel Air lyrics

15. Do you have any other blogs? — yeah but it’s really bad and inactive sooo uh

16. Do you get asks? — Every now and then

17. Why did you choose your url? — I’m lesbian and I like flowers

18. Following? — around 1300?

19. Followers? — 715

20. Favourite colours? — Orange, blue, yellow, red, pastel pink

21. Average hours of sleep? — weekdays: 6-7 hrs, weekends/breaks: 4-8.5 hrs

22. Lucky number? — 5, 18, 24

23. Instruments? — piano, guitar, ukulele, and I sing

24. What am I wearing - Black glasses, black Coldplay Parachute album shirt, dark brown/blue/black flannel, black leather-bomberish jacket, some blue socks patterned in other colors, and black converse

25. How many blankets do I sleep with? - three

26. Dream job? — actress/writer alongside singer-songwriter/musician alongside graphic novelist/animator

27. Dream vacation? — Japan, London, Italy, Spain, France, Portland (Maine and Oregon), San Francisco, Boston, Greece, Ireland

28. Favorite food? — Fries, bacon, jalapeños, cheese, bread, green beans, broccoli

29. Nationality? — Black And Japanese American

30. Favourite song? — I literally can’t choose my favorite of all time but for now I’m gonna go with Bad 4 Us by Superfruit

Now I tag @drowningfangirl @sapphicatthedisco @jealousofthem @four-eyed-feminist @the-nerd-punk and anyone else who wants to partake :))

[thesinglesjukebox]

KATY PERRY FT. NICKI MINAJ - SWISH SWISH [3.36] *types "sports" and "feuds" into subhead, gets 100000000 pageviews*

Mo Kim: "Cartman is introduced to Katy Perry's songwriting staff, who turn out to be a group of manatees. The staff, who live in a large tank, pick up "idea balls" from a large pile of them, each of which has a different animal, quote from direct-to-DVD sleeper hit Bring It On 4: The Bringing On Of The It, or gentrified black slang term written on it, and deliver them, five at a time, to a machine that then forms a verse based on those ideas. Katy Perry refuses to sing if any idea ball is removed from their tank, making critique an unfeasible practice with her. Cartman secretly removes a ball from their tank, causing Katy Perry to stop working, and then convinces the Capitol Records president that she is spoiled and abusing the executives' generosity. Cartman convinces the president that they need to show them what is what. The president decides to pull the new Katy Perry album before its release. Cartman feels victorious, but Taylor Swift shows up, saying that she just convinced the president to tack a 2014 Nicki Minaj verse he found in his Recycle Bin onto the end and release the damn song anyway." [2]

Thomas Inskeep: If you thought "Look What You Made Me Do" was petty, you haven't heard nothin' yet. Clumsy lyrics, a bad early '90s house retread track, a guest verse so phoned-in that Minaj sounds bored doing it, and worst of all, Katy Perry herself, the saddest virus in pop music. Fortunately, it seems that pop fans have developed an immunity to her, based on the pathetic chart performance of her current album and its attendant singles. That sound you hear isn't a "swish," it's Perry's career circling the drain. [0]

Ryo Miyauchi: Genius insists with all its investigative power that this hater-pop is personal, but Katy Perry throws limp jabs that rings anonymous as the dance beat behind her. At least Duke Dumont's wheelhouse is more reliable to entertain. [5]

Crystal Leww: How is it that Duke Dumont is credited as a producer for basically taking Maya Jane Coles and Fatboy Slim production and then somehow making it bad? [1]

Katherine St Asaph: "Walking on Air" was the best track on Prism, and I'm still not sure how Maya Jane Coles isn't everywhere for how much she's influenced pop, so the synthesis was bound to be both good and ascribed to no one involved. "Things have changed from true believers of the music to a more commercialized version of what used to be," said Roland Clark about his infinitely sampled "I Get Deep," so I'm sure he's just thrilled about his words trickling up uncredited, via Fatboy Slim via Duke Dumont, to a Katy Perry song. (He's not disowning it, at least.) If you're very charitable you might see this as Duke Dumont trying, as all pop-house producers do, to prove he Knows His History, but perhaps not, given the aforementioned infinite samples and how Katy's team uses it as a reaction GIF. But at least it belongs in a house track -- unlike the hook (probably Starrah), which belongs in a track that draws out its menace, or the verses (probably Sarah Hudson; evidence), which belong in Pink's "Can't Take Me Home" and in the care of several more editors. (Editors one and two: "what the fuck?" Editor three: "And every bad lyric has nothing to do with basketball anyway. If you're going to keep glomming onto sports because they're now the monoculture that music is not, at least stick to the metaphor." Managing editor: "STOP BEING MUSIC GEEKY.") Everything suggests the kind of song that only coheres with the memes and fake context. Yet somehow it works: the unsweet tea to Meghan Trainor's Arnold Palmer of "Me Too," a machine that looks inexplicably polished. [7]

Madeleine Lee: Finally, a pop single with a house beat that I don't like! I mean, the beat is fine, but I can't enjoy it over the lyrics, which are supposed to be fierce but just sound silly in their mix of bizarre analogies (my personal favourite: "a tiger...don't need opinions from a shellfish") and parroted clapback phrases. Even the robo-voice sample is bad -- that long pause inserted before "what the fuck" is the sound of an air ball. [2]

Nortey Dowuona: A thin, slipping bassline over flat drums. Katy sings blandly. Nicki spits a sharp-toothed verse that is there and then gone. [5]

Frank Kogan: Swish kiss plish, wish the lyrics were different from this. Aside from them, the sound is weird and emphatic and grabby as if she were a Rick James protégé, and jolts me to happy attention. Of course Teena Marie, the Rick James protégé, would've run a thousand rings and wings and epicycles around this. But this track is great for using just a touch of Teena and then continuing to bear down on that little touch, getting all it can out of its little somersault. [8]

Maxwell Cavaseno: The "dance like dubstep" line by Nicki is the perfect thing to overstate as to why both artists have been failing to hit their marks. In Perry's case, there's been an insistent attempt to change what's working for her and mimic other people's successes when, considering how the personality-bleached "Rise" was a home run for her, that's the last thing she needed to do. And Minaj's verse-by-numbers, complete with unnecessary sung outro and dustbin bars, feels like someone who's been sleepwalking since 2012. It's a bitter irony: someone desperate to change who never needed to, and someone too stubborn to recognize how antiquated they've become. Plus, this bad Duke Dumont hijack of Maya Jane Coles doesn't even sound like anything plugged into what was hot at any particular time. From the melodies to the cloying attempt at a catchphrase, it feels so disconnected from any real attempt at a hit to the point you wonder why this was released as it was. Greater songs have been kept out of sight. [2]

Will Adams: In the aftermath of Perry's promo campaign for Witness, a fever dream of live streams and awkward celeb collabs in feeble support of Katy's Great Awokening, "Swish Swish" doesn't look so bad. On first glance it seemed as noxious as it read on paper: more references cherry picked from a position of privilege smooshed together with more reverse engineered memes, from Backpack Kid to the cameo sopped video. Yes, the song itself still isn't great. There's still too much reverb, and there's still some unfortunate scansion and even more unfortunate use of the English language. But the sonic references make a difference; Maya Jane Coles' continued influence on pop is a trend I warmly welcome, and if "I Get Deep" needed to get a reboot for the mid-late '10s, keeping it tied to its house roots is a thoughtful choice. "Swish Swish" is at its best when the excess surrounding it is ignored. [5]

Alfred Soto: Apparently this is an "anti-bullying" track! It's not my job to learn intentions, not when "Swish Swish" is a mishmash of incongruous and unhappily cobbled samples, strange vocal choices, and an inapposite Nicki Minaj cameo.  [2]

Alex Clifton: Look, I tried to give this a point for Nicki Minaj singing "I already despise you" in the sweetest way, but I can't do it. "Swish Swish" is the blandest Katy Perry song I've ever heard, which is really saying something. Much as I loathed "Bon Appetit," at least that had, er, memorable moments. Nothing here stands out, a sin for a diss track: the beat is half-assed, the insults are weak ("you're 'bout as cute as an old coupon expired" -- what on earth does that mean, Katy?), and the delivery is emotionless. A song about being the baddest bitch on the block who kills people needs swagger, which has never been Perry's strong point. Say what you will about Taylor Swift, but at least in "Look What You Made Me Do" she sounds icy and in charge. Perry doesn't even have that going for her. [0]

Stephen Eisermann: Nicki's verse is a blast -- quick-witted, fun, and catchy -- and deserving of a much better song. But here, it's just a silver lining on a dark ass cloud. Nothing about this song comes across as sincere -- where Taylor's vindictiveness comes from a place of actual anger, I just don't think Katy cares enough to fight with her. And that's totally fine, but there is no need to fake it! Also, the release of this song feels so weird considering she went on a reconciliation press tour earlier in this album cycle, no? [3]

Joshua Copperman: Swap the two artists around, replace the video with literally anything else, and it's much better - all the pieces are there, including the Duke Dumont-produced beat, but the "old coupon expired" lines aren't iconic; they're dumb. Same with the video, which tries to be a mess and succeeds too well. At least Nicki seems to know what is what. Katy, on the other hand, does not know what is what. She just uses dated memes in her already overblown video struts. What the heck? [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[coolerthancats]

tag meme!!

tagged by @gaysngreys​ .+:｡(ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞtysm!!!

1. nicknames: Ellis, Honeycat, Sylphie, Iron-Bull-Obsessed-Dweeb

2. gender: probably a girl. Unless, like, is ‘feminine non-entity’ an option? I might be that. Like, if the void had a cute ribbon and falsies

3. zodiac: Taurus

4. height: 5′1″

5. time right now: 5:31 pm

6. birthday: May 20 1996

7. favourite bands: Panic! at the Disco, Two Door Cinema Club, BabyMetal

8. favourite solo artists: let’s be real my fav is Nicki Minaj and it will be ‘til the day I die.

9. song stuck in my head: Confessions - Tim Minchin

10. last movie watched: You think I remember?? I don’t remember. Memory is for weebs.

11. last show watched: Akatsuki no Yona / Yona of the Dawn ((which is such a sweet show. I was mid-breakdown and up pops this heartwarming shit. Scope that noise out yo))

12. when did you create this blog?: I think 2011??? Good god I’ll never escape this hellsite

13. what do you post? literally anything that even marginally entertains me.  

14. last thing googled: This boy

15. my other blogs: @theroseteawitch, @sylph-of-hope-analysis (the real trick is getting me to fucking update lol)

16. do you get asks?: HAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAH ye

17. why did you choose your url?: I am

18. following: 442

19. followers: 365

20. favourite colours: coral and gold

21. average hours of sleep: 3-12 somewhere in that range

22. lucky number: 2, 5

23. instruments: vocal chords be fucking stunning 

24. wearing right now: astronaut shirt that my gram says makes me look like I’ve been digging through a dumpster. which. rude. This is my fav shirt, what the fuck’s ur deal. Y’ain’t gotta be bitchy just ‘cause you don’t have a baller fucking astronaut dumpster shirt

25. how many blankets: 2-3 in the summer, 4 + heated blanket in winter. I must be toasty or I cannot snooze.

26. dream job: Childhood Ambition? Author. Unattainable Dream Job? Superhero. Actual Job Goal? Indie Game Developer.

27. dream trip: cozy bed with twelve blankets and infinite pillows and a fireplace in a cottage in a snowy forest. I don’t have to get up for a month and I can work from bed. (I’d probably get up at some point, but I wouldn’t have to.)

28. favourite food: terriyaki chicken & rice my mum makes, steak and potatoes my gram makes, also a sucker for nabeyaki udon and salmon sashimi

29. nationality: American (and not too pleased about that the past year or so). Scottish and Irish genes, li’l bit o’ viking in there too. Yeah, I’m as pale as it gets. Like, mayonnaise on white bread white all up in here. folks be mistaking me for Casper’s awkward cousin on the daily 

30. favourite song: probs ‘Death Should Not Have Taken Thee’ (not the english cover tho I stg)

tagging: @bitchinwitchery, @sleepiest-of-the-bears, @salty-nigga-senpai, @freebuffalotokens

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21st April 2019

There’s two new arrivals this week and other than one other story not much happened this week so this is going to be a really short episode without a featured song but I don’t care, I needed a break anyway, we’ve had some busy weeks very recently, I’m going to take advantage of a slow week.

Top 10

We barely get any country on the UK charts mostly because country is very, very American so there’s barely any real crossover most of the time, although Florida Georgia Line have cropped up a few times before. So that’s why I think the success of Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Old Town Road” is so puzzling, at least internationally, because countries like those in the UK are not typically all too friendly to country and/or trap, at least before about 2017 when urban music really started to take a step up in popularity within Britain. I guess it just struck a chord at the right time, especially with the cowboy aesthetic that I see in fashion recently, how we’ve reached peak trap, the acceptance of comedy and meme-rap in the mainstream, unfortunately thanks to Lil Dicky and simply how Lil Nas X is one of us. He was a Twitter comedian and Nicki Minaj stan account, so I’m sure his personality and character is relatable to people right now. We’re still experiencing some 90s nostalgia resurgence right now so Billy Ray Cyrus’ addition just made it perfect... and yes, that means that there’s a new #1. Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus’ first, “Old Town Road” is up one space from last week to the top of the charts, and I’m not complaining. While I’m a tad more lukewarm on the original, I do think that Billy Ray Cyrus adds a lot to the track and I’ve been rooting for its success ever since it started to be in TikTok memes, so this is a pretty cool event here, even if it’s already been #1 in the US for like four weeks, and I’m pretty sure it’s more of an international cultural phenomenon than I ever expected it to be.

Wow, what a drawn-out speech just to say some country-rap song from a Nicki Minaj stan has hit #1. Speaking of wastes of time, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” is of course down a spot to number-two from last week.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is still at number-three.

MEDUZA and Goodboys continue to rise a spot to number-four with “Piece of Your Heart”.

Also up a space from last week is Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” at number-five.

“Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man has a particularly bad week down two spots to number-six.

The interesting story here is Russ splash and Tion Wayne, however, both having their second top 10 hit in the UK thanks to “Keisha & Becky”, which debuted a few weeks ago in the top 20 and went absolutely nowhere, but has suddenly boosted up 23 spots to number-seven. Maybe there’s been a video released – but that can’t be it because it quite literally debuted with a video already released. I soon found out that there’s a remix with Aitch, JAY1, Sav’O and Swarmz. I’ve talked about JAY1 and Swarmz before, but otherwise this is new territory and while I still have the same problems with the chorus especially, but the verses aren’t bad here, and Tion Wayne ending his with humming is pretty funny. Aitch is just embarrassing though, Sav’O and JAY1 are non-existent and Swarmz references “Gucci Gang”. It’s also way too long now, so I would in no way call it an improvement.

Down a spot from last week is Jonas Brothers with “Sucker” at number-eight.

Also down one space from last week is Dave with “Location” featuring Burna Boy at number-nine.

Finally, “Here with Me” is at #10, rounding off our top 10 with CHVRCHES’ first ever top 10 hit and Marshmello’s fifth, up a spot from last week.

Climbers

I find it funny that I concluded the last episode or so with mentioning how I can see all the debuts being hits but none of them are really going away right now, so I hope they’re slow burners. Speaking of, Alec Benjamin’s “Let Me Down Slowly” featuring Alessia Cara is up five spaces to #31, and that’s the only notable climber we have.

Fallers

We have a handful more of these, however. Billie Eilish’s “bury a friend” continues its fall down five spots to #15, as does “wish you were gay” funnily enough also by Billie Eilish at #26. “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monét is also down seven positions to #30, prematurely joining long-term hits like “Wow.” by Post Malone down six spaces to #32. Oh, and there was an absolutely massive collapse for Ariana Grande’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” thanks to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, down 24 spaces to #39.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Remember when I said last week’s debuts would have longevity? Well... “My Bad” by Khalid is out from #32, “Kill This Love” by BLACKPINK drops out as expected from #33 and “Cool” by Jonas Brothers is out from #39. Otherwise, as I figured, “Streatham” by Dave is out from #40 and that’s all. In terms of returning entries, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is back at #40 for some reason and for equally no reason, “Who Do You Love” by the Chainsmokers and 5 Seconds of Summer is back at #36. Sure?

NEW ARRIVALS

#13 – “Boy with Luv” – BTS featuring Halsey

Produced by Pdogg – Peaked at #1 in Malaysia and South Korea, #8 in the US

BTS have a new “Comeback”, because that’s what all their albums are called, I guess, even if their eras are non-existent. That’s one thing I don’t really like about K-pop – the mismanagement, and how the bands are overworked, but I suppose that’s none of my business, I’m just here to review the music – and, yes, this is the lead single and video from K-pop boy band BTS’ album and/or EP MAP OF THE SOUL : PERSONA, featuring... Halsey? To clarify it’s pretty much just a brief cameo, she doesn’t add anything to the song at all other than some crossover potential and to be fair I think that it will help them have more longevity unlike most K-pop songs that end up on the main charts. The beat is pretty barebones initially, just a vocal samples and a pretty groovy bassline actually, under a pretty steady drum beat which feels more organic than most K-pop beats, which usually go for a stilted trap beat. I can’t tell the difference between the BTS boys and Halsey, but I will say the pre-chorus is really catchy, even though I feel like I’ve heard it all before, it has a slight resemblance to “Wolves” by Selena Gomez and Marshmello, I see? The “oh, my, my, my” refrain reminds me of something I cannot exactly place my fingertip on and it’s really annoying, maybe it’s “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max but not exactly? I don’t really care, though, because it still suffers from what all K-pop does, the randomly-placed trap-rap verses which, while usually flowing well and okay within themselves, are not placed into the song as if it was an actual part of the song, as in, cohesive composition, and instead like an abrupt beat switch for no apparent reason. To be fair, this is more comprehensible than most other K-pop, but for BTS’ second top 40 hit (First top 20) and Halsey’s sixth (Fourth top 20), it is disappointing, especially with knowledge of the other artists’ work, which is mostly pretty damn good.

#12 – “SOS” – Avicii featuring Aloe Blacc

Produced by Avicii, Albin Nedler and Bonn – Peaked at #1 in Finland and Sweden, and #68 in the US

So, yeah, EDM DJ Tim Bergling committed suicide last year, there’s no way to avoid talking about that, and as to be expected with (And has since happened to) pop stars who die, posthumous albums will be released, the first of Avicii’s being Tim. While Avicii supposedly had the instrumental prior and all was needed was for Aloe Blacc to add some songwriting and lay down his vocals, it is stil like most posthumous releases, somewhat empty, and since a representative stated that there weren’t any plans to release any music, it does feel pretty scummy just a year later, but this is the only song really generating all too much profit for the producers and songwriters (Mostly because of the writing credits for TLC, ironically excluding the member who passed away), because of how all of the profits the album generates are going to the Tim Bergling Foundation, spreading mental health awareness, and I can’t knock that, so I do respect his label and close friends and family for producing this record. This is Avicii’s 14th UK Top 40 hit, the first of which that is posthumous, and his 12th Top 20, as well as Aloe Blacc’s fourth Top 40 and Top 20 hit, and honestly it’s pretty good. Sure, it sounds somewhat unfinished, and it really isn’t anything unique, but I love Blacc’s voice and the hook is insanely catchy, mostly because of the interpolation of “No Scrubs”, with the overproduced synths producing a legitimately good build-up into a relaxed but fun EDM drop, and I don’t really have any complaints about it, other than the fact that due to the circumstances, Aloe Blacc’s subject matter is unfortunately ironic and perhaps misguided, but I understand his intentions with having the song portraying a man, possibly detailing Avicii’s own personal struggles, willing to stop being reliant on drugs for the love of his life, and that’s a message I can get behind. For what it’s worth, I like this, but I’m not sure how moral it is or how long it’ll stick around.

Conclusion

It’s kind of slim pickings here, but I’ll go with Avicii and Aloe Blacc in terms of Best of the Week for “SOS” but I don’t dislike “Boy with Luv” at all so I think BTS and Halsey can scrape through with an Honourable Mention and there are no negative titles this week, because nothing here is worth getting angry about. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!