#this is like telling an overweight person they dont have an eating disorder

[s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s]

I just saw a harm reduction blog saying 'your bmi need to be 18.4 or under to be anorexic' like bitch check ur facts a direct quote from cleavland hospital .org saying 'You can’t tell if a person has anorexia just by their appearance. You don’t need to have underweight (BMI under 18.5) to have anorexia — people without underweight can also have anorexia. This is called atypical anorexia. In addition, someone can have underweight without having anorexia.' Also you can be anorexic without fitting every single trait, also some of the diagnostic traits are bs like wdym over exercising not every anorexic does that, anyways sorgy for the yap it WILL happen again

eewwewww yeagg thays gross.. even then, i dont like the "atypical anorexia" because it almost desensitises anorexia. obsese people die from anorexia. avg people die from anorexia. its the deficiencies that kills most, theres very few underweight anorexics although low weights can kill. theres way more atypical anorexics, so atypical isnt a good term because theres more healthy/overweight anorexics than underweight

you do NOT need a specific weight to be "truly anorexic". you dont even need to weigh yourself. its a disorder of obsessiveness about weight and restricting food intake thru making unhealthy choices !!<3 plus many anorexics have symptoms of other eating disorders, such as bulimia and bed

[kiwidotcom]

*screaming crying throwing up*

I'm not a failure, I'm disabled and being disabled makes things hard for me. im allowed to give myself grace for being disabled

😩😩😩😩😩

[moodr1ng]

lengthy discussion of ed treatment/management under the cut but nothing triggering or specific

i think its funny that im like.. (i believe) very good at giving advice regarding eating disorders to other people.. like, i will often give detailed, multi-paragraph, nuanced advice and information on dealing with eds and give people lists of ways they can reach for help, advice on managing disordered eating behaviors as best as possible, reassurance that yes, what theyre describing is a real ed, yes they deserve help, no they dont need to get any sicker to get help, ill frequently ask people who are down on themselves or ashamed bc of eating disorders to let me have faith in them on their behalf/let them know that im proud of them even if they arent/reassure them that they are never alone with this even in the worst part of an ed when it feels like youre the only person this fucked up on the planet/celebrate their wins and improvements if they have no one to be proud of them/etc. and none of this im saying to congratulate myself like.. i am somewhat educated on this topic, i like being able to use that to help out people, im not doing anything extraordinary or praiseworthy, i just have a certain level of skill/knowledge in handling eds and so i feel its sort of a responsibility i want to take on to put that to use.

but the point is.. i can do all this for other people but when it comes to myself? i dont follow any of my advice. my relationship to food is terrible and so is that to my body. i know all this stuff, i have all these nice things to say to other people - and i can't apply any of it to myself.

and though i always encourage people to reach out to medical professionals, to nutritionists, to therapists specializing in ed, to hotlines, to ed clinics.. i have been let down by every single one of those. my nutritionist told me my eating problems are a psychiatric issue and therefore she simply couldnt help me in any way. my psychiatrist listened to me describe my ed and had no advice bc he doesnt specialize in this and cant help me. the ed clinic in my city wouldnt offer me treatment bc they only take extremely underweight patients. a nutrition/ed support clinic a friend recommended wont take me either bc im not overweight enough. i contacted an ed hotline, set up a phone appointment with the hotline worker, and got ghosted. every avenue of help i have found has said "i cant help you" or "i wont help you". and yet here i am, still telling people to seek professional support and hoping they have better luck than me..

idk. sometimes i just feel phony, yknow? like, here i am giving people all this reassuring, in-depth, affirming advice that sounds like.. wise or like i know my shit right, and then you go look at my post history on the same account and theres my post about my relapse and how profoundly i hate myself and am disgusted with myself. it makes me feel like.. me still being in the deep of the ed devalues my advice. you peek under the curtain, and the guy who talks like he has it all figured out and can help you is just as lost, scared, ashamed and miserable as you.

not sure what im trying to say. just. think about this regularly ig. i wonder how i wouldve fared in a world where i didnt get rejected from returning to the psychology course, in a world where i become someones therapist - would i have too felt like an absolute phony, a poser, if i had become a therapist while being this mentally unwell? idk. maybe. it doesnt matter now, anyway.

[spiralsta1rcase]

Sad and Long Post .. Lolllll........ Venty....

i really hate being trans though because if i get "misgebdeeed"(or, correctly gendered lol) i immediately start to feel guilty and like i don't deserve it. especially if it's in front of my parents. my mom always talks about transgender people like they're freaks and so im scared she'll see me as a freak. im so scared for the future because i love my parents so much they're mt best friends but if i tell them anything im afraid ill lose that forever even if i know they'll love me no matter what.

also i won't ever be able to change my name because im so accustomed to being called my name, and its such a feminine name too, and its such a common name. and every male portuguese name sucks shit ass balls. one time i tried to go by mateus and i had this google extension and my brother found out about it and he told me Yeah you're too young for that stuff and also mateus is a fuckign terrible name bro if you do transition just keep your name. i want to do that but it'll definitely be weird.

also i. i don't know. my real life friends call me by he/him but for some reason it just feels so weird. i love being he/himmed online but i feel just so sick and degenerate being called by those words in real life. it's so weird but i also dont want to be confusing to others so i let it slide. i feel like if im accepted for who i am as a man i don't deserve it, i feel sick, i feel like a horrible person and a liar. maybe it's something called internalised transphobia but i don't know what that even means. i feel so uncomfortable dressing in women's clothing and having long hair and looking too girly but if i get called a guy in front of my parents i feel ashamed. maybe it's because i don't want my parents to hate me. and also a lot of the people in my school are transphobic, and a lot of the people who i .. euuugh Like. are straight guys. so i'll make myself into a girl for them to like me too.(but that will never work because i'm fat and i've got a little bit of a moustache and i have a generally just masculine face)

i just really want to escape and live as someone else. i don't want to have an eating disorder but i just want to be skinny because i think that's the source of my problems. im awkward and i keep to myself and im shy and nobody i like ever likes me Because Im Fat. maybe if i were born in a future time it'd be different, but i can't change that, i thinkfat people will be hated forever. and i'll be fat forever. i want to starve myself and i want to get skinny i wish i could weigh 20 kilos. but i can't because my parents will worry. and it's bad for me. i hate exercise and im a picky eater i think the only thing i can do is take that injection that gets rid of your hunger or whatever. my mom had it and she said it worked until she forgot to take it once. i probably shouldn't though. i'm not obese im just a few kilos overweight, im at about 67-69 kilos. i should probably walk around while typing this so i can get some steps in

but . gah it's a horrible time for me right now. i don't know. i think it's because- i haven't weighed myself in a while but im probably at like 100kg now. hey, let's get some optimism here. i just weighed myself, and im at 69! my parents always said im a very positive person so let's just think positive. i don't want to seem like i hate myself so horribly because i really don't, i just hate my outer self, is all. i love who i am and i love my family and i love my skills and im a talented and smart person im just fat. being fat isn't a bad thing, its just a bad thing for me right now, because stupid assholes won't like me for it - but do i want them to like me anyway? if i did get skinny and they acted nice to me again, id probably hate them even more for it. i don't even think im the ugliest person in the world. there are times i look in the mirror and i think i look quite nice actually. my one big problem, i think, is vanity, even though i try to hide it. and i worry so much about how others see me. one time i didn't go to school cuz my hair was a bit oily. vanity is nice but it's horrible to have so much of it. then i can't do anything. i get too worried about how i look and how that guy sitting across of me thinks of me. does it match up with who i am? oh god, what if they think i'm x or y, when i'm actually x-2*a^2/58385892+bc+y(z-7)?!??!?! im gonna cry! this has cheered me up a bit. i think its cuz i weighed myself, lol. i've also noticed, side note, i get a lot more carefree when someone's not around.. when that person is around i get all worried and sad that i gained 0.5kg. i'm not saying who someone is because, even though it's a one in a trillion chance, someone might find this and someone might kill me for it. well goodbye. have a good day. i'm going to walk around some more though o want to type some more cuz it keeps my mind off things. i wonder if i should even post this.. nobody's gonna read it anyway, though, so whoooo cares. who knows, if anyone does read it, maybe they'll say, hey, i've got the same thing as you. and they'll tell me what it is! but that's just a thought.. no one's reading this, honestly. hey you know i just watched a full movie on tiktok for the first time - the guy actually posted all the parts! it's crazy! and the movies really.. it's a bit.. meh but it's quite well made, had me shaking up a storm on my sofa and biting my nails. it was called The Call i think. ok goodbye

[lemonlovemeanslove]

while im on the topic, i wonder how much i personally have contributed to this problem, bc when it comes to making friends irl, where i can see what the person looks like before i get to know them, i have always hanged out and made friends with pretty people, with people that i find attractive. not bc im attracted to them per say, its more of an unconscious thing. and yes my idea of beauty goes beyond what social media said bc ive been friends with plenty of fat people, but thats bc i dont see fat as not attractive, not in other people , with me its more difficult bc ive been bullied by my mother about my weight since age 14 so im kinda sick when it comes to this topic in general, but that doesn't change the fact that the girls who i would consider to be amongst the best looking out of all girls ive been friends with was also the biggest, in both height and weight. But it feels like an excuse, bc if i don't find fatness to be a deterrer from beauty, doesn't that make me just as shallow?

i also realize that i actually dont have the greatest authority on this topic, being conventionally attractive, which my sister (who is STUNNING btw) reminded me of when we were talking about how looks really aren’t that important, when really, they are, its just that we have always benefited from that fact, and never really been victims of it (expect from our mother who HATES and i mean HATES our bodies, like my sister has never in her life been overweight, even by the bullshit medical definition, and yet she’s been called everything under the sun by our mom lmao)

I just think that i might actually not be that objective when it comes to this stuff. Like me not wearing makeup has NEVER been a on im going against society thing, or I actively dont want to participate in this aspect of the beauty change. I thought of it was boring and the idea of wearing something on my face is a sensory nightmare for me. i feel like im being suffocated when i wear makeup or nail polish, like i can feel it on me, which made me anxious. But if I hadn’t come from a family of good looking people with great skin, if i at any point in my life had struggled with acne, or anything similar, would I have submitted? despite how unpleasant wearing makeup is for me from a sensory point of view? bc im most certainly fucked up about weight and food and eating, and how falling into phases of disordered eating plenty of times in my life. idk if any of it would count as an eating disorder, i dont know what ''counts'' or what doesn’t (sorries if this is a very triggering way of speaking about this stuff just trying to be honest). But if i didnt know that my face was ''good'' lol, would my mess around body image be worse of? if i could rely on my face? bc its always been a comfort for me, being pretty. like im not a model which is fine bc i dont want to be, i don’t really want to look different face wise, I do really like my face. I would never rate my fave tho bc i think its sick to rate yourself the sick sick behaviour like never ever do it if people ask u to do it tell them no im not doing that weirdo. but like, when ive been upset of felt like a failure and i walk past a mirror i can stop and go well at least i have that god i love being pretty. i don’t really think that makes me a bad person, just that it's probs bad FOR me. to centre my looks less, which i dont do a lot compared to most girl my age (which isnt really saying anything given how fucked up everyone is nowadays) is probably in my best interest. But it's HARD. bc i really enjoy being pretty. i enjoy finding myself pretty I enjoy others finding me pretty. like this whole thing started bc i was introduced to a stranger and the first thing she said to me was wow ur really beautiful, like she looks great, and my friend said yes im always telling her that. and it make me feel GREAT. maybe better than i should. def more that we should, as humans.

At the same time, i worry about not being good looking enough for my family, like my parents are good looking, essentially my mom, who is gorge, and all my siblings are good looking, and i get this worry sometimes, like, what if im the least good looking of my siblings (i think this bc im the biggest out of all of them) which is crazy bc were siblings so we all look alike and several people have asked if me and my older sister are twins when they first meet us and she is pretty much my idea of beautiful but idk. Im fucked up both ways, i guess. I was never never ever self-conscious about my weight until my mother, so now im sick in that regard, but im also sick in the way i use my looks as a crutch. I need to work on both, admitting it to myself is probs a good first step or whatever. rant over i think

[golisopod-mutual]

:/

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

[arfid-culture-is]

As a chubby person who barely eats cuz of no appetite ever (i suspect myself to have ARFID), i hate how people will tell me to lose weight cuz my "BMI" is not healthy. Especially when that person is my younger brother who doesn't even eat healthy or exercise and could be considered underweight by his BMI.

Its literally unsolicited advice and BMI have been proven to be the fakest indicator for health

I barely eat as I am, not cuz im trying to lose weight i just dont get hunger cues and I dont have much interest in food. I just dont have the metabolism to lose weight

It's so frustrating. I used to struggle with my body image and now I have accepted my body and he goes on and does that shit??? And my parents aren't doing anything so like no one is on my side

Oh that really sucks!!! It's really idiotic how society dictates that everyone should strive to be a certain weight that many people can't even reach or stay at with healthy weight loss methods (if there even are any). And it's even worse to hear things like that when you already have an eating disorder to begin with ... Like, unless your weight isn't directly (and by that I mean directly and not the way some doctors dismiss serious problems just because someone is overweight) impacting your health, there's literally no good reason for anyone to tell you what to do with your body.

-Mod Eria

[homestucky]

tw for pretty heavy discussion of diet, body image, weight, eating disorders etc. and emetophobia

so i grew up overweight. ive been overweight my whole life pretty much, with the exception of maybe 2 years when i was around 19 where i was a little lighter.

im a practical person. im a reasonable person. i grew up a tomboy. i dont like shallowness. i had minimal interest in sex and relationships. i was never rejected for my appearance. looking conventionally attractive has no reason to be a high priority for me

but still

i am completely insane.

there is no other way i can say it concisely. and i suspect that if you did not grow up overweight, perhaps particularly as an overweight girl/afab person, there are some things you just cant understand, because how would you even know?

so yeah, insane. like, obsessive. deluded. unable to fully comprehend reality. i cant tell what i look like most of the time. from the age of about 7 i fantasised daily about being skinny. fantasies about shedding my outer layers and showing everyone. and i wasnt even usually someone who wanted to impress or appease boys or ‘cool’ people. i honestly am not that motivated by what people think of me. yet my goal was always - figure out how to lose weight.

any eyelash i wished on, any 11:11, it was that. i thought about it every day.

and there was honestly no reason for it. it felt like life or death sometimes. i TRIED to have eating disorders. it feels so shameful to admit - i tried and failed. its so easy to imagine how funny that might be to some (mean) people. if i dont eat regularly, i literally get faint in a way that impacts my functioning VERY quickly, and other people can see. my gag reflex does NOT work. and trust me, i have tried. for hours, once. but I cant even do that right. id binge but i couldnt purge. my body would not let me give the food up.

‘i tried to be anorexic but i got too hungry’, ‘i tried to be bulimic but i couldnt purge so i just binged’ sound like sick jokes, like things fatphobic people would say to mock people they think dont try hard enough, because overweight people are lazy.

heres the thing. its good that i wasnt able to develop these disorders. of course it is. they are terrible things and i do not take them lightly. so im glad. im lucky that my body didnt let me. but that didnt stop me from feeling like a failure, feeling frantic and like at least if i could do this people would be sympathetic, bcaus its evidence that i was TRYING, even if it was in a bad way.

the feelings i had about myself and still have...

it impacts everything. its such a massive part of my identity. it stopped me from playing, climbing, doing sports. it stopped me from playing about with style and clothing because trying things on in changing rooms, looking at myself in the mirror, made me so anxious that i would feel physically ill.

and most batshit of all, it made me truly believe that i was a joke. that any room i walked into, people would pity me or be amused by me just at a glance. that i was always viewed by everyone else as just slghtly less human. that if someone was gonna be mocked id be first.

that if i ever did anything silly or made a mistake, it would be made 100x worse by my body - like if i said something awkward, or dressed bad, or came in to class late, or fell over, it wasnt something i could just brush off. because i was already a joke, so this would just add to it. if you are skinny and you get a question wrong in class, thats fine somehow, but if youre chubby and you do the same, you are slotted into the role of ‘stupid *and* fat person’ because everybody knows that stereotype so thats just who you are.

its wack that it doesnt just impact my confidence with sports, or clothing, or people finding me attractive, but literally EVERYTHING.

it feels like as long as youre fat, ANYTHING you do could potentially have a laugh track put over it. falling, crying, laughing, dancing, getting hit by a car, it doesnt matter.

and that is an INSANE way to feel. especially aged like, 10.

i lost some weight when i was 18 but i didnt feel different. i didnt feel more worthy or like i was a better person. i wasnt more deserving of love and respect. i just had more time and some money for a gym membership, and had little by way of responsibilties so didnt stress eat. and theres the fact i was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid too.

my situation changed, my thyroid got treated, and i gained it all back and then some. so i started to feel less bad about it. how could i feel so bad about not being that weight, when being that weight required me to have a chronic disease while also spending about 14 hours at the gym a week and calorie count? it was a bit of a revelation

but the craziness didnt go away completely. its still my first wish when i see an eyelash. i still feel like i will be who im really supposed to be ““when”“ i ““finally”“ lose weight, that fabled goal ive had most of my life and rarely achieved, and it will make people like me more, understand me more, respect me more, love me more. i also know that this is not correct. but i feel it anyway.

i have a shit tonne of things to worry about, like the fact im unemployed, or the state of the whole entire world, but theres still part of me that insists that being skinny is the most important goal. because if i was skinny people would be sympathetic to any of my other failings. i work out and try to be healthy as much as i can, because i want to be fit and healthy, because i think it is helpful to improve my experience as a human animal. but still when i say ‘i just work out for fitness, i just watch my diet to make sure im getting what i need, its not about weight or looks’ on some level....im alwaaays lyingggggggg ;)

i have no reason why im saying this now. its not pertinent. i just had to get it out.

[apollodrome]

1- the logical thinking indicates that the most probably option is usually the correct option, for example, if a man has lung cancer the most likely option is that is lung cancer is related to his tabaquism, the same aplly on this case, if a person with morbid obesity has some kind of circulation problem then the most likely option is that is related to the weight of that person, now about your question, if you wanna know how morbid obesity relates to health problems then my answer is

2 - read a goddanm biology book (or just google it), the answer is right there, you dont need to ask a random person on the internet about that, and guess what, you cannot put links into asks so im unable to give you the link to any kind of article explaining that, if you wanna know the corelation then just search morbid obesity on wikipedia.

---

This ask is about this post where a woman's health issues are blamed by doctors on her weight, so she loses the weight, and when doctors see that her health issues have not gotten better, but have gotten worse, they order tests that they should have ordered months ago.

I think you misunderstand the point of the post. Let's take the obesity out of this. A woman goes to the doctor for severe cramps, sleepiness during the day, memory and balance problems. Doctors refuse to treat her. That's all there is to this issue - a woman has gone to a medical professional with a set of symptoms, and the medical professional did not test her for the conditions that have the above symptoms.

You give me an example in your ask of smokers having an increased risk of lung cancer, so let's apply this analogy here. A smoker goes to the doctor and says, "doctor, I have difficulty breathing, a painful cough that doesn't go away for months, I lost 50 pounds in less than a month, pain in my hands, fingers and chest." These are very common symptoms of lung cancer. So, what you're advocating for, is that the doctor should refuse to order any tests for the patient, tell them to stop smoking, and send them on their way. We know that some health risks are associated with obesity, in the same way that lung cancer is associated with smoking, so should we not be testing those people for those diseases more often?

People whose father has died of heart disease are at more risk of heart disease, so we test those people for heart disease when they mention they have symptoms. People whose family has ADHD are more at risk of having ADHD, so we test those people for ADHD when they mention they have symptoms. Why is obesity any different? If a disease has already developed, losing weight will do nothing except for decrease that initial risk, but it's past that already if they HAVE THE DISEASE. They have to be treated for the disease. Thin people can get heart attacks, and non smokers can get lung cancer or develop asthma, so why do those people go to the doctor with those symptoms and get tested, and obese people don't?

In some of your replies on that post, you have used this Wikipedia page as your source. On the same page, it says,

"While a majority of obese individuals at any given time are attempting to lose weight and often successful, research shows that maintaining that weight loss over the long term proves to be rare." (Wikipedia includes a reference for this, I've linked it here).

I am using the same research you are using to argue my point. If an obese individual walks into a doctor's office with symptoms of a heart condition, and is told to lose weight, they are basically sentenced to death. As we can see above, long term weight loss may lead to more health risks, and is actually very rare in most people (less than 1 in 100 obese people manage to lose the weight and stay at the new weight), and so if a doctor tells an obese person not to come back until she has lost all of the weight, she may actually die before she comes back to the doctor.

Obesity is an issue, and does increase the risks of some conditions. However, according to the same Wikipedia article you and I have both been using,

"obesity has individual, socioeconomic, and environmental causes, including diet, physical activity, automation, urbanization, genetic susceptibility, medications, mental disorders, economic policies, endocrine disorders, and exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals."

I don't want to assume you're enough of a heartless monster to say "obese people brought this on themselves and therefore deserve to suffer and die due to medical malpractice" as a response to my above point, but JUST IN CASE YOU WERE, that's a whole lot of people you're condemning. You're condemning children who grow up in poverty and whose parents can only afford McDonald's (cheaper than vegetables in the USA), you're condemning my uncle, who had a deadly thyroid issue that wasn't treated in time (he grew up in Soviet Russia) and messed up his metabolism so bad he currently exercises for 3 hours a day but is still extremely overweight. You're condemning people with pcos, people with hyperthyroidism, people with eating disorders and depression. All of those people, in your opinion, do not deserve medical treatment.

With what we now know, let's summarise.

Fact 1: people who are obese have a higher risk of developing certain disorders, in the same way that someone with a family history of heart problems may develop heart problems, however, no disease is directly CAUSED by obesity and obesity alone. If that were the case, thin people wouldn't get those diseases at all, but I know many thin people with narcolepsy, cancers, and heart issues.

Fact 2: obesity can be caused by many factors, not just eating a lot of junk food. I've already mentioned hyperthyroidism, eating disorders, pcos, and poverty as some of those factors, but there are more. A lot of those factors are not the fault of the obese individual. We also know that once someone is already obese, keeping off weight that they lose is extremely difficult and takes a long time.

Fact 3: when a smoker goes to the doctor with symptoms of lung cancer, they are told to stop smoking, but they are also SCREENED FOR LUNG CANCER and TREATED IF THERE IS LUNG CANCER PRESENT.

Fact 4: according to the woman in the original post, she went to the doctor with symptoms of narcolepsy and other issues, was told to lose weight, BUT WAS NOT TESTED FOR THE DISEASES SHE IS AT RISK FOR, OR TREATED.

Do you see my point now? Yes, obesity is linked to diseases, but that should mean that people who are obese are screened and treated MORE OFTEN, not less or god forbid not treated at all. Preventing obesity by exercising and eating well is something we should definitely do ON A GLOBAL SCALE (better mental health help for people with depression/eating disorders, cheaper vegetables for people in poverty, more education, less fast food places), to decrease our risk of the diseases that obesity is associated with increasing the risk for (type two diabetes, sleep apnea, narcolepsy, certain cancers), but if someone is already obese, weight loss is no longer a cure, and actual treatment needs to be administered. Weight loss was never a cure, it is a PREVENTATIVE MEASURE, and not even a good one according to the evidence I've provided above. Healthy eating and exercise are good preventative measures, but they do not always contribute to weight loss. So why do doctors prescribe weight loss in the form of pills and calorie restriction, rather than eating HEALTHY and exercising? ALSO, if weight loss was a cure, non-obese cancer patients, non-obese people with narcolepsy, and non-obese people with eating disorders would also be told to lose weight rather than given treatment. So why is weight loss the ONLY treatment doctors give obese people? Obesity is much more complicated than a person just eating a lot of junk and getting fat, that's not how it works.

You know how we "eliminate the most probable option"? WE TEST THE PATIENT FOR IT, AND IF THE TEST COMES BACK NEGATIVE WE ELIMINATE THE OPTION. Why was the woman in the post not tested, and why do you advocate for this? Why do you think a group of people deserves medical attention less than others?

Here's another analogy. Wearing a mask and staying six feet away from others is a PREVENTATIVE MEASURE for covid. When a person already has covid, they are not told to wear a mask and stay six feet away from others. They are put in a hospital and treated. What you are advocating for is akin to sending a person with covid symptoms away with a mask, and not treating them at all.

To summarise: correlation is not causation, all people deserve medical help (people who are turned away from doctors a LOT are women, people of colour, and fat people. Medical discrimination needs to be eradicated in all of those cases) and you are in no position to decide who deserves to be treated and who doesn't.

I'm not overweight myself. I just care about people receiving the medical treatment they need and deserve, regardless of what they look like or what other conditions they already may have. I recommend really looking at yourself and examining the biases you have against fat folks, and figuring out how to become better as a person. You seem to enjoy giving unsolicited medical advice, so here's some from me: stop being a dick.

[marshmallowprotection]

hi, sorry if this is an upsetting ask, i just wanted to get off of my chest. i'm normally pretty healthy, i've lost like 40 pounds but i'm still not /skinny/ skinny but im not that overweight , but today i binge ate again for the first time in a long time. I don't know what happened. I just kept eating and eating and I couldn't stop. 3500 calories equals one pound of fat, and i probably ate more than that, im super bloated rn. like, i look like how i did pre weight loss. i hate this so much.

i use fictional characters like saeran to cope, but at times like these i feel like those characters (including saeran) would hate me for it and think i'm gross... is this wrong to think about?

once again, im sorry if this upsets you and i dont mean to vent. your writing means a lot to me , thank :)

TW: Disordered Eating, Depression, Self-Loathing

I think you would really enjoy reading this ask. I’ve got a few others on my Masterlist that are like this but I can’t locate all of them right now so I thought I would at least give you the one with Saeran at first since you mentioned him right off the back. I feel like there’s no right thing that I can tell you here because I’m something with similar issues. I have body dysmorphia, myself, and I can’t really look at myself in a mirror, either. However, I didn’t lose my weight willingly as I developed serious health problems and now my body looks nothing like it once did. I’m too small and I can’t find myself in my image. 

So, I hope you know that there are people that empathize with the extreme discomfort that you feel about yourself. 

It isn’t easy to struggle with your weight, your image, and the way that you cope with it. I know that you must be working really hard on yourself, and I hope you never feel bad when you have a relapse or you have a bad day. You aren’t your bad days. We all get them. We all have moments when we loathe ourselves and feel our worst. 

However, you aren’t the sum of those bad days. You are someone that is trying so very hard to love yourself and it takes a lot of work. It’s okay to cry, and it’s also okay to feel good. Saeran will never judge you for it. He knows what it feels like to hate your body. He also knows what it feels like to struggle with food and to feel trapped within these thoughts. 

He would never want you to think that he thinks you’re disgusting. Because Saeran would never ever think that. He thinks you’re perfect and he loves all of you, all of your pieces and parts. He loves you as a person, he loves your smile and the way that you love others. Your kindness... your heart... your soul. He is the kind of person that loves you for who you are. He has only thought the best of you, and the best of your heart. 

He would be there to hold your hand and remind you that you matter and that you are a good person, and that you are beautiful. He just hopes that you’ll be able to one day see that the way that he has. 

[strugglingcombi]

18.2

reasons why i probably dont have an eating disorder:

i dont work out. like at all. i just go on walks sometimes im only restricting cuz i have no patience for “healthy“ weight loss i think i can still look objectively at my body? i mean i notice when ive gotten thinner and i can tell that im not fat or even overweight i just think i could look better lol i dont hate myself so much for eating over 1200 cal sometimes i just feel so self aware about that stuff idk i dont think mentally ill ppl should be like that if i had to eat normally from tomorrow on i probably could - in my case its literally a choice

so in conclusion i want to kill myself for being a shitty person unnecessarily damaging my body without even having the excuse of being ill

[cuddlesandwine]

Really Unpopular Opinion

Read till end or not at all, otherwise it will not make sense!!

First of all: FAT PEOPLE CAM HABE ANOREXIA/BULIMIA/ANY OTHER ED!!! A LOT OF THEM HAVE IT AND ARE ON TUMBLR AND THATS ALRIGHT NOTHING SGAINST IT! LOVE AMD APPRECIATE YOU!

Second of all: Sorry if somebody gets hurt by this, but

A lot of people who start losing weight for the first time because they are at a higher weight or overweight/obese go on google and type in: „How to lose weight“. The search results are endless, but what most get out of it: „Eat fewer calories, lose more fat. Drink water! „ Than they start for like 3-4 days and fail, and they start again, fail again. And then they are like well, fasting must be good because no food=no calories= more weight lost. So they start fasting and then they fail, and they start again and fail and the cycle starts. Some of them find Tumblr and see all those people fasting, restricting, binging, sharing there meals and body checks and see all those thinspo pics and they go: „Shit, I am fasting and binging and eating really little, trying to loos fat and getting rid of my thighs/double chin/...I fit in here. Great! Time to share and use ed tags“ And then they start an acc on Tumblr sharing body checks and what they eat and how they constantly fail at diets and then try again, using ed tags and scrolling through thinspo giving themselves a false image of what „healthy thin“ people look like.

The thing is:

Most of them start without any professional help and they have no idea what they are doing and they come on Tumblr and start posting ed shit because they hate that they are fat and they fast and then binge and nobody wants them because they are fat. BUT GUESS WHAT: JUST BECAUSE YOU FAST AND TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT AND THINK THIGH GAPS AND A FLAT TUMMY LOOK GOOD AND DON'T LIKE YOUR DOUBLE CHIN DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. BUT BY COMING ON TUMBLR, TO THIS COMMUNITY, I GUARANTEE YOU, YOU WILL LEAVE TUMBLR NOT THINNER BUT DEFINITELY WITH AN DEVELOPING OR FULL-BLOWN EATING DISORDER! AND I DONT GET WHY THOSE PEOPLE GET SOOOO BUTTHURT WHEN YOU TELL THEM THAT THEY SHOULD TRY AND GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP FROM A DOCTOR/DIETITIAN AND LEAVE ED-TUMBLR AND USE TAGS LIKE ”HEALTHY” OR ”VEGAN” OR ”FITBLR” AND THAT THEY WILL GET AN ED, BUT THEY REFUSE BECAUSE ”THEY WANNA GET SKINNY FAST”. Every single person who lost weight or want to lose weight feels bad about themselves, feel like they don't fit in and adore their skinny friends and they think life being thin is better. But all of this changes during your weight loss journey. Once you see results and get to a healthier weight you will eventually learn to like yourself and be proud of yourself and that being thin doesn’t make lif better etc. When you try to lose weight at first you will do wrong shit like fasting/binging cycle or excessive sport or eating overly healthy one time and than eating junk food later. You will be constantly thinking about food because you have to time your meals properly and you will have to count calories in order to loose weight and you will have to think what's the better food choice and you will have to exercise and jog and shit, but THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER! Everybody goes through this and YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD WON‘T BE THE SAME! You will think about cals and nutrition and you will not decide on eating 3 pizzas in a week. You will start thinking about your food choices more often! THAT‘S A NORMAL THING WHEN LOOSING WEIGHT!

But if you come on tumblr using ed tags and posting ed related shit during your weight loss journey you can end up with an ed!!!!!!!! So don’t get butt hurt if somebody tells you to leave and try it the healthy weight!! Just because you cough 3-4 times doesn’t mean you have ebola or some shit and you don’t have to take out the strongest medicine you have. Drink some tea and you‘ll be fine.

Don’t come on ed-tumblr just because you tried loosing weight for the first time the wrong way and don’t like how you look! Go to a doctor and do it the right way!!

[fatmasc]

Hiya!! I’m doing a presentation in my English class on fatphobia and would find it so helpful if you or any of your followers had experience on the following topics- Medical fatphobia Eating disorders Why representation is important Fatphobic vocabulary Ableism Conditioned societal views Why don’t people believe in fatphobia Thank you so much!! 💕💕💕

Ive been lucky enough to not deal with medical fatphobia. My family is lowkey fatphobic (especially since my mom grew up during the era that it was really REALLY pushed that skinny=healthy), but none of them are medical professionals. My mom encouraged me to diet when i was younger. The closest i ever came to medical fatphobia was a RN telling me i should be "thin as a rail" since i was swimming so much (which did end up leading to my diagnosis of insulin resistance).

I have never personally had an eating disorder as far as i can tell. I had horrible body image and though about trying to fast when i was younger, but never committed. My mental state was never that of a person with an eating disorder.

Representation is important because i didnt believe i could be attractive until i first saw a plus size model (not only that, but with a bit of a belly and sirgery scars). It helped normalize my own body to me and showed me that there was no need to be thin to like myself. I put all my worth into the idea of beauty at the time, so it was important to me to see myself as beautiful. Normalizing multiple body types not only helps people with this, but may help deconstruct the overvalue of beauty in our society

"I feel fat" is a favorite of skinny people everywhere. And if you call yourself fat they jump in eith "toure not fat!" Bc they assume fat means ugly. I wrote my college essay about grwoing up fat and had to teach a bunch of skinny people that i am still fat even if im attractive

I am not personally disabled, so i cant speak to ableism too much but definitely look to how overweight people who use mobility devices are treated even worse than skinny people w mobility devices (not that any disabled ppl really win here, ableism is so rife in our society)

Conditioned societal views can be sourced back to me not being able to see my own body as normal my whole life until i saw it on someone else in a positive way ( plus the whole my mom encouraged me to diet at 14 thing)

People dont believe in fatphobia because theyve been conditioned to think that anyone who doesnt fit the body ideal doesnt "try hard enough" when in fact people of all different stages of health come in many many body types. They refuse to open their minds to accept more people into their narrow ideal of beauty

Let me know if you need info for a citation or anything, and please keep in mind that i am a white, middle class American so my experiences and ideas are very western. I can also provide you with information from a lecture i recently had if you would like, just pm me!

[babycactus]

Hi.. can I ask you something. Like some quick advice. What do you think? There’s this nice guy I like a lot but my only problem is he kind of wants me to go to the gym and keep losing weight? Which is fine because I do want to and need to, as I am quite overweight. But like I sort of find it a bit weird too. Like I know it’s for my best interests but like he will say stuff like “you haven’t been eating healthy at all recently have you?” and that has a bad effect on me. And then I have lost quite a bit of weight already so I told him I would get loose skin removed etc, and some other procedures like minor alterations nothing to look “fake” but he started saying “you’re definitely having that surgery right?” and then “In the summer?” “When in the summer?” like in different times and conversations.. but it’s all nerve racking. Men in the past/current usually say and have said my body is good or whatever so I don’t why he has jumped on my insecurities like that? He’s told me before that he’s had eating disorder behaviours before and I have as well.. but then why is he saying those kind of things to me? Like honestly I’ve been told I’m fine as I am (even at a slightly higher weight than now?) But he is really nice in every other way so I don’t really know what to do. Is what he’s saying/thinking unforgivable?

idk the other nice things he does or says so I might not be the best person to give advice since I've only heard the bad things. but if hes putting you in a bad mood or instead of giving you confidence hes making you feel worse about yourself you should tell him you dont appreciate his words and explain to him that he's not helping or being a motivation. and you shouldn't forgive him without even talking to him about it. I think def let him know what you're feeling. especially if you consider him a good friend and he thinks so too he will understand. if he continues doing this or saying this shit then hes really not a friend 😤 😒

[phoenixturtle7]

umm so tw weight, workout, body image, mentions of eating disorders and a lot of my personal complaining i guess

I used to be of average weight and build (5'4, 127 lbs) and I did have a bit of tummy but I never had any problems with my body image, I always felt fine. I knew that I was binge eating a lot, so I started eating healtier (nothing obsessive or bad, I simply ate less junk food and stuff) and I didn't even notice that I've lost any weight (I didn't notice anything about my body and I also never weigh myself) until we had to see our weight at school and I turned out to be 111lbs.  I was quite shocked but didn't think about it too much. This was I think when I was 16. (im 17 now)

Later I started getting comments about being too skinny. My best friend and my mom kept telling me that I was too skinny. i didn't find myself skinny, I also didn't find myself fat. I didn't think anything has changed. My other best friend was a bit overweight so she started working out and eating healthier, and she lost 20 pounds. I didn't even notice her transformation until someone pointed it out and I saw some older pictures of her. That's when I started feeling bad about not working out.

That was the first time I was insecure about something about my body. Before this, I didn't care about eating healthy and working out. Then at age 14 maybe I always unfollowed people who led healthier lifestyles and worked out. Now I realized that it was because I was completely jealous of them. The other best friend who was making comments also sarted to work out, and that's when I started feeling completely worthless for not doing the same.

I also started to notice that I was significantly skinnier than before. I tried on a crop top and took a picture, and I had a flat tummy. Even though I still felt great about my body, the comments started getting to me. I posted a pic in a crop top on Instagram (which is a huge thing for me, since I never post any pictures of myself anywhere because I'm insecure about people thinking that I'm narcissistic - that’s another thing -), and a girl that I dont like (and who has a great body) told a guy behind my back that "my ass looks exactly like my stomach..flat". I felt like I looked fine but because of also not noticing my friend's weightloss, I thought that maybe only I think I'm fine because I'm simply unable to see my body changing, and in reality I'm really skinny.

When we had to look at our weight at school again, I turned out to be 108lbs (which is almost underweight). All my friends saw as well. I didn't say anything to anybody about it, but I felt incredibly concerned. I hated that other people saw me differently than I did. I started working out at home in secret (not for weightloss, only to build some muscle) and I also decided to eat a lot of foods rich in protein. Then I bought some great protein powder. Although I didn't see any change in my body, I felt way stronger and I didn't get as sore after working out as I used to.

I'm now convinced that my friend who lost all the weight also thinks that I'm too skinny (she's more than 25 pounds bigger than me, same hight, big butt, big tatas.. she looks amazing). I became jealous of her. First I thought she looked good because of her workout, and she also says she looks like that because of the muscle she's gained but now I think she looks the way she looks because of the amount of fat in her body. Now I'm at a point where I started eating excessive amounts of junk food again in order to gain some more weight and I don't think it's healty. I haven't gained any weight yet, but it's still unhelathy. It's also bad because I do know that I wouldn't have started eating more if it wasn't for other people mocking me. Now I'm not sure if they've led me on the right path, or they just messed with my body image and I'm about to fuck myself up with the junk food.

That's basically it, I wanted to share this because I was thinking about it a lot lately but I don't want to tell any friends or family, but I had to get it off my chest somehow. I'd also like to say that I'm physically fine, I'm not anorexic, I'm not bulimic, I'm not underweight (i dont think so at least), and I'm also not fat. My body image has changed dramatically, AND for the worse, and I know I clearly still have a dilemma about eating junk food and stuff, but I actually think that I may be able to figure it out myself? hopefully? anyway I'm saying this because I really didn't post this to ask for advice, I just feel way better if I finally get it off my chest.

Thank you for reading this. I hope you're doing good. If you maybe have some problems, you can message me anytime, it might take long for me to reply (exams are coming up and all that, I'm literally procrastinating right now) but if you feel the same way where you want to complain to someone but you don't have the right people to complain to and you're too scared to post shit like this like I did, feel free to complain to me. I might as well be able to give advice, but if i can't, the least I can do is listen. Thank you for your time.