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starstruckgoateepuppy · 1 day ago

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the cut that always bleeds

park jihyo x f!reader

synopsis: jihyo has been grieving over the loss of her sister, as much as you try and help her move on she seems to get more agitated and bitter which causes the biggest argument of your relationship.

warnings: drinking, kinda toxic jihyo, death and anything else i didn’t say

wc: 1.8k (its short im sorry)

a/n’s note: oh my god its been so so so long 🥲🥲 thank you @cry4mina for encouraging me and giving me ideas your soooooo nice and sweet for reaching out to me ☹️🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷x infinity

You and Jihyo have never had many arguments—mostly just bickering. This is largely because you both are understanding and mature with each other. The few disagreements between you aren't serious, and you typically make up quickly. You love Jihyo, and everyone close to you knows it. No one would have thought things would turn out like this.

day one

It was just your typical morning routine with Jihyo, and you nevertheless cherished every moment of it. You lived in an average-sized apartment with her, and both of you were very satisfied and content with your living arrangements.

You had been married to her for quite a while, and it was quite obvious that would not change anytime soon.

While at the table, having your hands on the delicious avocado toast that was made by Jihyo, there was suddenly a tense moment as she picked up her phone and answered the call that had been made while she was in the midst of brewing coffee. She was in such distress that you could tell something was very wrong. After a few minutes of giving her time, she put the phone down and mumbled, "My sister... she's not here anymore... she's dead." You looked at her face, her eyes glistening in the light as tears filled her eyes. You just hugged her as she sobbed into your shoulder.

You held each other for what felt like twenty minutes before gently guiding her to sit down. You assured her that everything would be okay and that her sister was in a better place now. Through her tears, she spoke about their close childhood bond and her deep regret about not interacting during the holidays. from the little times you met her sister, it was clear that she was really a nice and kind woman, it also pained you seeing how wretched she was processing all this.

you called out from work and took the next 2 weeks of just to help jihyo and her family out.

day 7

it has been a week since the death of your sister in law, who is now 6 feet buried underground. jihyo still hasn’t taken in the fact that she would never be able to see her sister again.

day 90

3 months has passed since the tragic loss of jihyos childhood best friend. to say jihyo was still taking it hard was an understatement. jihyo hasn’t been able to do much other then work and go on her phone reminiscing the memories of her sister. every chance you get, you try and get her to go out and spend some time together but she always seems like she’s out of it. as much as you try to help, she pushes it away and ignores it.

day 365+

it has been a year since the death of the park sister and jihyo has still yet to move on. although you still insist in trying to help her deal with her feelings and emotions, she becomes more insistent about being able to deal with herself. and you really can’t lie about how aggressive she has been lately and how much it has been frustrating you. you really just care for her and want to know if shes okay, but how could you if shes trying to push you away? you’re her wife and you feel like you should be responsible for her and her emotional needs. now she’s making you feel like you haven’t been caring and doing your responsibilities as a wife.

all of this causes a big change in her attitude towards you. her being more agitated and angry made you feel like you shouldn’t be talking to her as much anymore than you should. it gets to the point that you try to start avoiding her, worried about making her angry.

The clock was hitting 1 in the morning and you still weren’t home. The door clicked open, slowly creaking wider. She saw your familiar shoes and flowy silky black hair tip inside the door. The lights were turned off, just her sitting on the sofa staring at the television in front of her. You slipped off your shoes, placing your sweater on the door. you slightly jumped when you saw her figure get up from the sofa walking towards you.

“hyo? baby why are you awake?”

“don’t even think about talking to me in that sweet tone. what have you been doing at this hour? there cannot be an excuse reasonable enough for this!”

“jihyo you know i would never do such a thing! what kind of person do you take me for? its like you dont even know me anymore. you never try to even bring up a conversation with me!” you fired back at her. She was mainly the dominant one in the relationship. You never made statements like this. “i have been through so much this year and you still treat me like this like its nothing!” its like she was made to make people feel in the wrong, like she purposely wanted to make you feel terrible, like how she has been how the pass few months, and you don’t want to deal with it anymore. You didn’t want to feel like that anymore, you wanted to tell her the truth. “I have been doing my best to help you cope and deal with your grief for months and all you have been doing is pushing me away! how do you think i feel jihyo? i have feelings too! i also am devastated that my sister in law passed away! i also had connections with her but i had to care for you too!”

she stays silent for a little while, taken aback by your words. you thought it was done, maybe she started to understand that what she did was wro- “excuse me? are you trying to tell me that me grieving over my dead fucking sister is crazy? i spent my entire childhood with her, you don’t get it! i am her sister, you are her sister in law. its very different from what i know, or what? are you gonna tell me what i know is wrong too? i am never right to you, is that right?” you were left speechless, unable to process what you had just heard. “no way you just had the nerve to tell me that..” she just raised her eyebrow as you both stood there. you decided that you didn’t want to hear her voice anymore so you took your coat, packed up and left, ignoring whatever protests she was doing.

you got in you car, rethinking everything she had done and how much she neglected you. all the effort to make her feel better, all of that pushed down the drain so easily. all of that and she still called you the problem. you didn’t even know what to do and where to go. your mind was still trying to process everything that had happened in the past 15 minutes.

meanwhile, you could say that jihyo was astonished. she never knew you would go this far and leave the apartment, but she definitely knew that she did something terribly wrong. she was probably sitting on the couch, head in her hands in the most distress she has ever been. obviously she still loved you, but the loss of her sister took a toll on her and she started losing her mind not being able to deal with the pain and grief. she was starting to realise how much she messed up and had a pang of guilt hit her. she called and texted you, pleading that you would give her another chance, that she wouldn’t push you away from helping her. whatever she did you just didn’t answer, she was without a doubt starting to get worried.

it has been hours since you left the house and you genuinely didn’t even know where you were anymore. all you knew was that you weren’t ready to go back to where jihyo was. you were afraid that some unintentional words might slip out which would cause an even deeper misunderstanding with her. you hesitated checking your phone, aware that there would be tons and tons of messages and missed call notifications from her who is named as “my loml 🧡”. you needed a place to stay for the meantime, but you didn’t want to stay at her members place.

if you went to a members house they would probably question you (which isn't unreasonable at all because who the hell shows up uninvited at nearly 3 in the morning?) unfortunately you didn’t want to deal with that with how dazed you were. you knew they would very surely take you in without any protests, you just hated the fact that you would have to explain everything and make even more conflicts and problems.

after the hours of driving and reflecting on your situation. your last hope was to sleep in the backseat of your car. fortunately you had some blankets to keep yourself warm. sleeping in the backseat of your car in the parking lot of your apartment complex, something you never thought you would have to do one day.

at 6am

3 hours of minimal sleep, you drove to the nearest convenience store and got yourself some coffee to keep your mind running while on the verge of breaking down again. you didn’t get yourself any food, you doubt you were gonna eat it anyway and it would go to some pigeons in a park or something. you were trying so hard to prevent yourself from having to return back to your house.

you genuinely wish it could start over. things shouldn’t have been like this. there was no one to blame. no one should be forced to get over it.

it hits you. your facing what she faced. your sitting at a graveyard, in front of a tombstone.

there it marks the words.

“here is the forever home of

Park Jihyo“

you cry again and again, begging her to please just come back.

why did it have to end like this? you hated it, you wish you had never left the house. she wouldn’t have to go looking for you. then she wouldn’t have gotten into the car crash.

this whole thing could’ve been avoided. if you just continued giving her the time and she would’ve just allowed you to help her.

you wanted to blame the stupid drunk driver. but who are you to blame when she was driving to look for you? you made her worried? driving all around all alone. you thought losing a sister in law was one of the worst experiences. your sister in law will never know she was a reason her sister died just a year later.

#starstruckgoateepuppy #twice #wlw #twice x reader #twice x y/n #twice jihyo #fem reader

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faghubby · 2 days ago

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Little cocksucker

I am not sure how it grew but it started when I moved to Pennsylvania. My parents moved us out to a small town 30 minutes from even a gas station. I was 17 and hoped to be away at school in a next year. I had grown up in New York and the culture shock was insane. It had been months and I had no friends. Then I met Jack

Jack and I couldn't be different he had lived in this small town his whole life. His family owned a farm. And he looked like he worked his whole life on a farm. 6 ft tall and huge I swear he could of flipped a car if he wanted to. While I was 5' 3" damn most of the girls where bigger then me even my little sister. So when Jack invited me to go horseback riding I told him I didn't know how.

"Don't worry I will teach you" he assured me. He drove me in his pickup truck. I didn't even know how to drive and he had been driving since he was 14. Jack walked me thru how to ride. Giving me an older horse to ride.

"He is not going to go hard" he told me. Helping on to the horse. He watched as I rode around the field before he joined me. He then led me thru the fields into the woods. Before we came upon an old house in the woods. He stopped and helped me down. Grabbing my ass as he did. I was shocked but thought it just an accident.

"There aren't many girls our age around" he commented as he showed me around the old abandoned house.

"So I noticed" I told him.

"Have you ever been in a circle jerk?" He asked plainly.

"What, no" I told him.

"There are some of us who help each other" He told me pressing me against a wall. His hand cupping my crotch.

"Go ahead" he told me. Leaning in closer.

"I'm not" I told him

"Non of us are. Animals often do things when there is a shortage of females" he told me. I reached down and felt his hard cock thru his jeans. Holy shit was that all him? He unzipped his pants he wore no underwear his cock sprug free. I stroked him. He just held his hand against my crotch. His hand was able to hold not only my hard dick but my balls as well, while I needed two hands to hold him.

"You can be the female today" he told me as I stroked his cock. It was odd but excited me at the same time.

"There are a few of us, but no one speaks of it" he told me. I shook my head.

"I understand"

"Would you like to lick it?" He asked. I shook my head no but knelt and kissed his cock.

"No one says anything?" I asked.

"Top secret" he smiled as I took the head in my mouth. He kissed and licked but made him cum on the floor. He helped me back up his rough hands rubbed my nipples.

"We are going to have lots of fun together" he told me. He fixed his pants and helped back on the horse. This time not hiding his grab on my ass. I was worried and ashamed as we rode back to the barn. I couldn't even look Jack in the face. But caught myself thinking about his muscles.

The next day in gym class everyone seemed to be behaving different towards me. I wasn't the little funt outcast. Several guys "helped me"

"Hold the ball like this. Or stand with your feet apart " they showed me standing very close I thought.

When we went to change, Bill came up behind me.

"Jack says you joined our little circle" He smiled as he pulled off his shorts and boxers. His cock swinging free. I quickly looked away as he laughed softly. Jack started driving me home everyday. It was a week before he pulled down a dirt road. He stopped and pulled out his cock.

"I can't stop thinking about what a great job you did" he told me. I blushed and took his cock in my mouth. He was more forceful this time. Pushing my head. Gaging me encouraging me to take more. He finished in my mouth but I spit it out.

"It's time you met the rest of the group" he told me.

"Are you going to?" I asked looking down at the bulge ini my jeans

"Not my turn to be the female" Jack smiled not giving me anymore explanation. I rinsed out my mouth. Wondering if they expected more from the "female" . Jack drove me home.

"I am glad you are making friends paul "my mother smiled. she was folding clothes. I blushed a bit as I saw her fold her panties.

I was 17 never even kissed a girl but had sucked Jack's cock twice. I started to obsess over who the other guys where, what they would expect, where they all big like Jack? Was I just really small? I searched the internet. And found myself watching bisexual porn. I came across one with a man wearing panties sucking cock. I would catch glimpses of the guys changing at gym. I found myself looking at their assessment. And not the few girls in class. Was I gay?

"Should I pick you up around 7" Jack said as he came up behind me in the hallway. His hand cupped my ass. I blushed

"Sure"i said a bit higher pitch then I had meant too. I obsessed over what to wear. My hair and how I smelled. Should they want me to Smell like a girl? I grabbed a bag. And thru in a spare tee. Incase Jack came on me again. Should I wear panties? I had never wanted to but now? I decided against it and Jack was right on time. He drove to an old factory on the edge of town the place was huge. He walked me thru.

"No reason to be nervous" he told me. He lit a joint and gave me some. I had only smoked weed once. I got high on just two hits. I heard music as we got close. I saw Bill and Roger they handed me a beer. As Jack led me into a room. Pete was there. Sitting on a chair naked.

"You know what to do" Jack told me swatting my ass. I went to him. Jack left, Pete pulled me onto his lap. His cock now rubbing against my bulge. He kissed me. Long and hard his tounge darting around my mouth. I loved it. And relaxed in his arms. My hand reached down and stroked his cock. He stole the kiss and I slid to the floor and sucked his cock. It was smaller then Jack but bigger then mine for sure. Pete also came quicker then Jack. I didn't try and move I let him cum in my mouth.

Pete calmly got up and dressed as I took a swig of beer to cleat the taste. As soon as Pete left Roger came in. He was the tallest of them. Roger wasted no time he grabbed me and pulled me to his crotch he held my hair as he tried to face fuck me. But I kept gagging. And he would stop. He pulled out and came all over my face. I took off my shirt and wipped it off. No sooner had I done that when Bill presented his cock to me. Bill let me do whatever I wanted. I tried to do things I had seen in pornos I licked his balls. And cupped his ass as I sucked his dick. Almost taking all of him. He asked me wear I wanted it, I just sucked him harder and he came in my mouth. I swallowed it all down. Proud of myself that I was able too.

Jack came in offered me more pot. I was really stoned now. He stripped me naked. And pushed me to the floor, I sucked his cock my jaw aching. But the pot made me not care. As I sucked his cock he rubbed my ass. Then his fingers spread my cheeks I didn't stop. As his finger probed my ass. I moaned as he did. I don't remember much after that.

I must of passed out. I woke the music still playing. I got dressed and went back out. Pete handed me a beer. And another hit off a joint. I watched as they just drank beer and wrestled each other. Jack Sat down and pulled me to his lap.

"You are definitely the girl of the group" he told me his hand cupping my ass.

"What does that mean" I asked softly.

"You will do what girls do for us" he told me. Then kissed me. I was shaking as he then led me his truck and drove me home. As he dropped me off I hesitated. How did I look before I went inside. I was still pretty stoned. My mom was still up looked at me and smiled.

"You have fun honey" she asked

"Yeah" I laughed. I went to bed and passed out. Jake showed up at my house the next morning at 10. I was still asleep. My mother sent him into my room to wake me up. I woke to him sitting on my bed. His hand down my boxers rubbing my ass.

"Wake up sleepy head. I got a surprise for you" he told me. I came to and freaked jumping up.

"Shh, Jake whispered" he pulled down my boxers and stroked me a few times. He stopped

"Better get a move on" he told me and left. I jumped in the shower. As I rushed back to my room. I heard My mom talking to Jake. I couldn't find any clean jeans and rushed to the laundry room. I grabbed my jeans but next to them was a pile of my mother's things. I stopped I flipped thru and grabbed a pair of her panties and rushed back to my room. I slid the panties on they where simple cotton white panties but they felt so sexy. I finished getting dressed and headed out with Jake. Mom handing me an egg sandwich. On the way out the door. As soon as we where out of the driveway Jake handed me a joint. I took a hit and handed it back.

"You enjoyed last night didn't you?" He asked. I blushed and took another hit. Then laid across the old bench seat in his truck my head on his lap. I felt his hand slid down the back of my pants. He pulled over quickly.

"What are you wearing?" He asked surprised. I sat up and undid my jeans showing him my mother panties.

"You can" I fell silent I wasn't sure. But I wanted him.

"The guys will eat this up, they will rape you all day long" he told me. I was scared and excited.

"Can't it just be you" I asked in a meek voice. Sliding close to him my hand rubbing his hard cock thru his jeans. He started to drive again.

"Roger just wants to get off. Bill just goes along with everyone but Pete he wants the whol domination experience" Jack was telling me I pulled his cock out and stroked him.

"What do you want" I said softly.

"I you can never tell" he said. "I like girlie boys" he said now he was blushing. I went down and started to suck his cock. He pulled into a secluded spot. He finished in my mouth. I licked him clean.

"I don't know if I am gay or what. But I know I am attracted to you" I told him. He showed me some of the stuff he liked to watch on his phone. It was alot of twink porn. He didn't want a girl he wanted a little gay sissy to fuck. It turned me on as well. He had me pull down my jeans and he rubbed my ass thru my mother's panties. I was rock hard and throbbing. He had sent the guys a text saying we weren't going to make it. I wanted him to touch my dick but he was careful not to. He pulled me close and kissed me. I was going to explode.

"I want to fuck your plump little ass" he told me. I nodded. But we had no lube. He stopped and drove me to his house. I tried to act all non crazy with lust for him as he led me into a barn. He grabbed a tube of something off the shelf and led me up to a loft. The barn smelled so bad. But he grabbed me and practically tore my pants and panties off. Bent me over and smeared the tube all over my ass. I moment later he shoved his cock in my ass. I yelled. He didn't stop. Fucking me. I tried to be quiet as he tore my ass in two. He didn't stop until he had filled my ass with his cum. He half collapsed on top of me. His cock growing soft inside me.

He let me up.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked concerned. I smiled and kissed him my erection gone. My ass sore. I pulled my clothes back on. As we climbed out of the loft, A woman stood waiting.

"Dad not going to like this" she said. I timidly hid behing Jack. She then turned to me.

"Hi I'm Mary this idiot big sister" she told me. Offering me her hand. Her hands where rough and big. "Take your friend home and get back here we got work to do" Mary told him.

"I can help" I crackled. Still holding on to jack.

"Take him home" Mary told Jack. He led me to his truck and drove me home. He stopped and kissed me before we turned down my road. He dropped me off at the end of the driveway and I went inside to take a shower. Cum, lube and even a little blood was soaked into my mother's panties. I felt my asshole it felt huge. Nobody was home so I took a long shower. I noticed my mother's razor in the shower and shaved my ass. But I kept going I shaved off all my pubic hair as well and jerked off thinking about Jake. I went into my parents room after. I searched thru my mother's drawers. I felt so naughty as I looked thru her things. I opened a drawer full of very sexy lingerie. I was amazed my mother owned such sexy things. But also wondered if Jack would love to see me wear them. I took a black pair of lacy panties and ran back to my room. I put them on under my clothes. They rode up giving me a wedgie whenever I moved. I became accustomed to them rubbing against my sore asshole.

Jake would pick me up everyday and drive me to school. I tried to act like we were just friends. But I so wanted to kiss him in the hall between classes like the girls did to thier boyfriends. The guys left me be. I wasn't sure what Jack had told them. But everyday on the way home we would stop and I would suck his cock. And swallow his load. When I got home I would jerk off. It had been only a week and I couldn't take it anymore. I found myself sneaking into my mother's things again. Trying on bras and stockings. I loved the feel of all the soft fabrics. I shaved my legs and instantly regretted it. Knowing someone would notice.

Saturday night Jake picked me up. I wore little red panties under my jeans. As we drove off.

"I want you so bad" I told him almost climbing in his lap. He pulled over and grabbed the tube of lube. They used it to insemination cows. Shoving there hands inside them. I pulled off my pants. Showing him the pretty panties and shaved legs. He kissed me and bent me over the hood of his truck. He fucked me so good. Coming inside me again.

"You are mine now" he told me. I got dressed but he grabbed my shirt and cut it with his knife. I put it on and my belly showed. Then he yanked up my panties so the waist band showed over my jeans, I felt exposed as he drove to the party. Once there I didn't want to go. He dragged me put of the truck. Terrified I held his arm and his shyly behind him. I got alot of laughed and strange looks. Pete even smacked my ass. But one look from Jack and he backed off. We walked up to the keg to get a drink. And ran right into my little sister Terry.

"Holy shit" she spit out the beer she was sipping. Jake introduced himself when night was suddenly unable to speak.

"Jake, Paulie's boyfriend" he told her. She just smiled and introduced her date. Some kid Jake already knew. Terry walked up to me and pulled the waist band of my panties.

"Are those mom's she giggled. As he date walked her away with his hand on her ass. I spent the whole party clinging to Jake afraid to be away from him. It was after midnight when we left. Jake fucked me again on some little dirt side road before he took me home. I heard My parents in their room when I came in bit just went to bed.

I woke late to yelling.

"I don't care you where way past your curfew" my mother told Terry. I stumbled into the kitchen to grab something to eat.

"Why isn't Paul grounded then" Terry yelled.

"Your brother is older then you" my father said quietly from the table.

"You came home late, drunk with some boy we don't know" my mother continued. I wanted to stay out of this and went to leave with my orange juice.

"Paul's boyfriend knows him" Terry spit out. I almost swallowed my tounge. As my mother and father both stooped and stared at me.

"Terry you are excused" my father said. Terry stormed off.

"Paul we support you in whatever you choose" my father said softly.

"Jake is a very nice boy" my mother smiled.

"Jake?" My father said surprised.

"Of course it's Jake isn't it?" My mother said running her hand thru my hair.

"Yes, I don't know maybe it's just" my words drifted away.

"He should come for dinner either way" my father announced. I went and showered. Terry was in my room waiting

"Sorry I didn't mean I was just mad" she said

"I know it's okay" I told her. She hugged me and headed back to her room. A moment later my mother knocked I was still in my robe. She closed the door.

"You been in my things?" She asked.

"Yes, I am sorry" I told her.

"You can't go into my things" she told me. "Get dressed we will go out and talk" she told me. I got dressed. My mom drove for a long time. As we talked. We talked about being safe, and predators. Seemed like a dating talk like my dad had given me years ago. Just a girls point of view. Then she asked.

"Do you want to be a girl?"

"I don't know" I muttered.

"I liked wearing your underwear and I love how Jake makes me feel" I confessed.

"You too have had sex?" She asked. I blushed unable to answer. Just as we pulled into a shopping center.

"Your father gave us a budget but you can get anything you fancy" my mother told me. She led me straight towards woman's intimates. I was suddenly surrounded by pastel colors, lace and satin. I grew very shy.and my mother let me shop with my eyes, she watched and if I saw something I liked she would find it in my size and put it in the cart.

"You don't need one but do you want one" she whispered on my ear looking at bras. I blushed and my mother went and picked some out.

"You have to try one on make sure it fits" she told me. I couldn't but she grabbed some jeans and stuffed the bra in between and asked the women for the changing room. I tried on the bra, it fit I had trouble hooking it but got it. Another pair of jeans flipped over the door.

"Try these as well" my mother said. I tried on the jeans they fit odd. I realized they set lower. My mother had given my girls jeans. The first pair was too loose. The second fit better. I got more comfortable and excited to try things on. We left with two huge bags of clothes.

"Terry never let's me help her go shopping." My mother smiled. On the ride home I opened up about Jake exposing me at the party. And how he kissed me. Leaving out the sex parts other then to confirm we had had sex.

"You should go to school tomorrow in your new clothes then. Everyone already knows" my mother assured me. She even helped me pick out the outfit. A pair of tight fitting jeans with flowers on the rear pockets. With a pink tee shirt that had spaghetti straps with a white blouse over it.

"You could even wear one of your bras under it all if you wanted to" my mother told me.

The next morning I sat at the breakfast table wearing exactly what my mother had suggested minus the bra. But I did have a cute pink thong on. As Jake picked me up. I sat up against him as he drove my hand on his thigh the whole way. I walked with my hand wrapped around his arm through the school. He walked me to my first class and kisses me.

"Meet you right here" he told me.

"Paula" I told him and skipped into class. I got teased a little mostly by girls the boys to afraid of Jake. But I didn't care. We dated all year even going to prom together. Mom had gotten me the pretties gown. It was way to girlie but I loved it. I became a girl for the most part. Nails always done, my hair grew out some. Terry started dating a guy named Tom. And we would actually double date. So mom didn't worry. I couldn't get enough of Jack. His father disapproved but did nothing to stop us. We are about to graduate and Jake has still never made me cum. While i make him cum everyday. He will be going off to school it's only an hour away. I can't imagine a day without his cock.

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megs-1800 · 2 hours ago

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Amnesia

Note: This is my longest fic, I have had it in my draft for ages and just kept adding bits. I wasn't sure where I wanted it to go. Feedback is always appreciated as I not sure about the ending. Requests are open. Used the song Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer for ideas.

Summary: You broke up with Mason after he cheated on you and broke your heart. What happens when Mason has a car accident and gets amnesia and he doesn't remember the breakup. Is he going to be able to win you back? Is he going to get his memory back?

Pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 11.9K

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Swearing, mentions in injury and SMUT!!

Mason's POV

As I lay on my bed I still remember every moment of that day, I still cannot bring myself to sleep on your side of the bed. Its been 2 weeks since we broke up and I am still a wreck. The memories still haunting me, the way your eyes were so puffy from crying, the way my heart broke in that moment, memories of that day come flooding back.

That’s the problem as soon as I let my mind stop for a moment I am forced to have memories of you. I know it was my fault I cheated, but I never wanted to loose you. I made a mistake and I am now definitely paying for it. You are the love of my life, I cannot cope without you.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving as I open the door from training I saw all the bags packed in the entrance hall. I can see you standing on the staircase shaking, I could tell you were nervous. You found out I cheated a couple of days prior and you said you needed space which I gave you. I knew from the look on your face what you decided.

I remember the makeup running down your face your mascara all smudged and your eyes all puffy I can tell you have been crying for a while, I run straight over to you and wrap you up in my arms. You quickly push me away, I knew that would happen, I just had to try. “Please baby no don’t leave me please y/n”. You look at me with sad eyes, I can see your heart is breaking just as much as mine “don’t make this any harder then it is Mase. I will get someone else to come and collect the rest of my stuff”.

And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them, like every single wish we ever made I watched as you walked away. I watched how you left everything behind, how you left us behind. All those dreams we spoke about over the past 3 years of being together, getting married, having children, growing old together. That’s all gone now, its nothing more than words now how am I going to cope?

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you as I lay in bed all I want is to forget all these memories together, looking over to your side of the bed knowing I will never fall asleep next to you again, I love you more than anything but the thought of you is hurting me more than I can imagine. You are always there, every moment of every day I think about you. How you smell, the sparkle in your eye, the way you smile, the small little laugh that is contagious to me. My heart is breaking over the thought of you.

And the memories I never can escape. Cause I’m not fine at all I am really not fine at all I do not know how I am going to cope without you. I have tried to message and call you everyday since the breakup but you keep ignoring my calls/messages. This house is tainted now as everywhere I look is memories of you. How am I going to forget you, am I am going to live with the memories of you.

6 months later

My phone bings and I can see that message from my driver that he is outside. I am just finishing getting ready. I give myself a quick look in the mirror before I make my way downstairs. It’s a dinner with all the United boys to celebrate the new season I was really looking forward to it.

The weather was awful the rain was torrential, I am sitting there chatting away with the driver when everything goes black.

As I open my eyes I can hear beeping from a machine, the light is so bright it takes me a couple of minutes to adjust to the lighting. I then realise I am in in hospital. I look down at my body, I look physically fine I am just hooked up to loads of machines and my head is pounding.

I see my mum quickly stand up from her sitting position from across the room, “mase, oh my god I am so glad you are awake how are you feeling?” I can hear the worry in her voice. I look around the room, I can see mum and dad, Lewis, Jaz and some girl I do not know how she is.

“I am okay mum, my head is pounding. What happened? How did I get here?” Mum looks relieved that I said I am okay. “You were in a car accident, you were on the way to dinner with the united boys. The weather was bad and your car skidded and crashed. The driver was fine but you have been in a coma for a week. Oh my boy”. She starts crying into me which I try and console her but my body hurts so much.

“Oh baby, we have been worried sick. I am so glad you are okay” the girl I do not know says as she reaches and places her hand in mine. I look at confused as I have no idea who she is and I have no idea why she is calling me baby. That’s when I realised you are not here. Why are you not here, where you in the accident.

“Y/n.. where is y/n. Is she okay? She wasn’t in the car was she?” I am now panicking. I can see everyone look around as if I am stupid. They all give eachother a confused look which is worrying me more.

“Darling, you and y/n have been broken up for 6 months. You haven’t spoken to eachother since then as far as we know. You are dating Brittany for the past couple of months”. I can see the pity on my mums face as she gestures towards the women I do not know, I guess she is Brittany. What do they mean me and you broke up? There is no way! You are the love of my life.

“What do you mean we broke up! No way we cannot be broken up. I am sorry Brittany I am sure you are a lovely women but mum me and y/n cannot done can we?” I can now feel myself getting emotional, I can see Brittany roll her eyes which makes me slightly angry.

At this the doctor walks in, “how are feeling today. Good to see you awake and I am sure your family have caught you up with everything. Physically you are all okay and we couldn’t see anything on your CT scans so I just need to see how you are doing?”

I go to speak but my mum buts in which does me favour as I am still in shock “his memory is gone. He thinks he and his girlfriend are still together but they broke up 6 months ago. What happened doc will he be okay?” I can hear the panic in my mums voice, and I can see it in everyones eyes, well apart from that Brittany. I hate that I have worried them this much.

The doc nods showing he is understanding “by the sound of it he has temporary amnesia, it is common in cases like this. Usually the memories will all come straight back at a trigger of something, but there is no guarantee. What is the last thing you remember?” He turns to me.

I think really hard, I cannot really remember “I think my last memory was Christmas. You know we took the girls to see Santa and we all had Christmas Day at yours. I think that’s generally the last thing I can remember.” I can see them all nod probably reliving the memory like I am.

“That was 7 months ago” I hear my mum say. The Doctor looks over to them “7 months is not too bad, we have people who loose years. It might come back, but for now Mason its good to be around things and people you know. Go back to that routine 7 months ago and hope that something might trigger your memories for the past 7 months”. The doctor finish doing his checks and left.

We are all looking over at eachother, “the doctor said I need things that are familiar. Can someone please get y/n down here please. I need to see here”. I see they all look between them what could of happened? But then I see my mum nod and walk out the room. I assume she is making the call.

Your POV

I was a mess after me and Mason broke up, I knew I was the one who left but I had to. Mason cheated and broke my heart. I could never look at him the same again. I wish I could just go back in time and never argue that night, maybe he never would of gone out and slept with her. I miss him more than words can say.

I have been strong since the breakup, every call and message Mason sent I made sure to ignore it. I couldn’t let myself reply otherwise I would fall for him all over again, I couldn’t let myself do this as losing him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I had a long week at work, especially with my boss calling in sick me and my colleague have basically had to run the service. I am so glad its Friday and I have today off so looking forward to my well-deserved long weekend. I have had a lazy morning, made breakfast in bed and just got out the shower when I see my phone ring.

Hoping that its not work related I am shocked to see Debbie’s name show up on my phone, Debbie and I spoke briefly since the breakup, mainly just saying how Mason was a mess and kept asking me what happened. I kept explaining that it wasn’t my place to say and she needs to ask Mason. I know Debbie loved me, but I know when it comes down to it she will always pick Mason’s side. I quickly answer the call apprehensively “hey Debbie everything okay?”

“Hiya lovely, um no not really. Mason was in an accident” I can feel my heart dropped, eventhough Mason broke my heart I never wanted him to be hurt. I can feel my heart beating erratically and I can feel tears in my eyes. “He is physically okay, a bit bruised but he should be okay.” I let a breath out that I didn’t even realise that I was holding, I am so relieved he is okay. “The problem is he has amnesia the last thing he remembers is Christmas Day, he cannot remember the break up. He thinks you are still together. The doctor recommended that he stays with what is familiar and that might help bring back his memories. He said you are what is familiar to him, he really wants to see you. I get what happened between you is hard, but please I just want him better”. I can hear her voice break at the end of the sentence. I really want to help but I do not know if I can see him.

“I understand that Debbie, but I do not think I can let myself see him again. I let that part of my life go now Debbie I have moved on. I cannot let myself just go backwards”. I feel so harsh because all I want is to Mason but I buried those memories deep and I really do not want to open those feeling again.

“I know darling, Mason eventually told us what happened between you two. We were furious with him believe me. The biggest mistake he ever made was letting you go. Y/n look I am not asking for you to forgive him, I am not even asking for you to take him back. All I am asking for is for you to come down here and see him y/n please that’s all I am asking”.

I really don’t want to do it, but there is a small part of me that needs to check Mason is okay, and it would be nice to see them all okay. I take a deep breath “okay I will be there in a couple of hours. Please text me the address” Debbie thanked me and a couple of minutes later I received a message from her with the hospital address.

I quickly got ready and packed some spare clothes just in case I stay down in Manchester and I quickly made a move.

Mason’s POV

Mum said you were on your way, I was counting down the minutes to see you. No one has still told me why we are not together. I cannot believe we would of broken up, you are the love of my life well I suppose I should say you were the love of my life now. I hate referring to you in past tense. I can feel my heart breaking.

All of my family start to leave so I can get ready before y/n arrives , you are due anytime now but the women I do not know still remains. Its awkward I feel bad that I have no idea who she is. Once everyone leaves she walks over to me and sits down, she puts my hand into hers. “Masey how are you feeling?” I wince at her use of my nickname “my head is really hurting but I think I am going to be okay. I am really sorry I cannot remember you. I am really am”. I feel awful that I am dating someone I cannot even remember. “That’s okay Mase I will get you to remember” before I know it she is kissing me, I am not kissing back. In my head me and y/n are still together I couldn’t of done that to her.

As this Brittany pulls away I see the longing in her eyes, I can tell she is really into me. I am about to say something when I see y/n walking into the room. “uh sorry I will give you guys a minute” you go to walk back out the room. I am quick to respond “please y/n don’t go!” I didn’t realise I was shouting but it came out louder then I wanted but I just didn’t want you to leave. I can see you nod and you sheepishly come over to me. I can see you are not making eye contact with me or Brittany.

“Thank you coming its really good to see you. Sorry I know it’s a long drive you must be exhausted” I say

“I did it for your mum, not for you but its okay the drive wasn’t too bad. Did you want me to come back at a better time?”

You are so beautiful, you are only in a tracksuit and your hair in a bun as I know you love being comfortable when travelling but you look like the most beautiful girl in the world. We both stayed silent just looking at eachother when Brittany replies to you in a bitchy tone “yeah if you could come back a bit later. It’s the first time since Masey’s woken up that we actually got 2 minutes to ourselves”. I look at Brittany with a shocked look, how rude of her to say that and I can see you are taken back by that. You nod and go to walk out of the hospital which I grab your hand to stop you “please y/n don’t leave” I can see you look at Brittany and you are now hesitating with what to do. I turn to Brittany “I asked y/n to come, she has come a long way please don’t speak to her like that and make her leave. We have a lot to catch up on”. I can see you blush a little as you look down, Brittany looks pissed and rolls her eyes “for fuck sake Mason you are choosing to be with her then me. You are with me now Mason. You know whatever”. At that she throws her body around and storms out of the hospital room.

I see you giggle “You always loved someone with a bit of drama. You are going to pay for that later you know”. I smile back knowing that I probably will with the way Brittany just throw herself out of the room. You sit down next to me, I can tell you are nervous. “How have you been? You look beautiful” You give me a small smile, I can tell you are thinking about what to say next.

“I’m doing good Mase, how are feeling? Are you in a lot of pain?” I see that you passed over the comment with me calling you beautiful. “I am okay, I am a bit stiff but physically I am fine. I am guessing mum told you about the memory stuff” You nodded in agreement. “What happened to us y/n? They are saying we broke up but no one will tell me why? We couldn’t of broken up we were going to get married, have kids. We were going to live happily ever after what happened?”

“You happened Mase.”

“No way.. I would of never broke up with you”

“Well technically I broke up with you but you are the one who cheated.” I am in disbelief, I couldn’t of cheated on you. I cannot believe I would of done this to us. I broke us.

“No way, I wouldn’t of done that to you. I love you so much y/n”

“Well you did. You slept with someone else. I loved you too Mase but you broke us” hearing you saying ‘loved’ in past tense makes my heart break.

“What happened why did I cheat? Who did I cheat with” I am still in disbelief.

“We had a huge fight, it was just one of those things that built up. You were stressed with injuries and the press and I was stressed with work and being away from my family we just kind of took it out on eachother. We both said a lot of things we shouldn’t of said and you decided to go out with the boys which made the argument worse. I said ‘if you go out don’t bother coming back’, I guess you took that literally. You went out had too many drinks and got a hotel with her. I don’t really know what happened but that’s what you said. You slept with Brittany actually”. I can see that hurt you reliving that.

“Brittany?! So I cheated on you with her? And then what started dating her again?” I am such a horrible person for that, I must of broken you.

“Yeah not right away though. You cheated a couple of weeks after Christmas which your mum said is your last memory, I found out a couple of weeks later. You only got with Britanny a couple of months ago. She literally put it all over social media on your first date so I found out pretty quick”.

“Shit I am sorry that must have been horrible for you. I just cannot believe I would of done that to you.. to us. I was going to propose to you. You know that trip I arranged in Paris for Valentines day, I had it all planned. I had the ring.. then what I throw it all away just like that over one stupid fight.” I am beating myself up about it, I cannot believe I would of broke your heart like that. I must have been a mess when we broke up, I can feel my heart breaking now and tears forming in my eye.

“Yeah I know, your family told me once they found out we broke up. I didn’t even have a clue that you were going to propose in Paris. But what was done was done. You cancelled the trip I think or you went on it with someone I am not too sure.”

“Surely I couldn’t of gone with someone else. That trip was ours.”

“Honestly Mason I had no idea what you did when we broke up. You tried to ring and text me but I just couldn’t bring myself to reply. Then I saw on the news that you were spotted on a date with Brittany, I was so upset because I couldn’t even think of getting with anyone else and then suddenly you are back with the girl who ruined our relationship but I guess I just loved you more then you loved me.” I can see the tears starting to form in your eyes as you start to look up to prevent the tears from rolling down.

“No y/n please, I loved you more then you will ever know. You were the love of my life. I made a mistake I-I-I cannot b-b-believe I would of done that to y-y-you.” I am struggling to get my words out as my tears are rolling down my face. I can see your face start to soften and I can see your tears starting to roll down your cheek too. You are rubbing the back of my hand with you thumb. This is something that you used to do all the time to try and reassure me when I was upset.

We stay there in silence for what seems like forever, I just continue to look into your eyes. Those eyes that were once filled with so much light and love now seem broken, however I can still see that sparkle that you always had. We were snatched from our moment as my mum walked in. “Sorry to interrupt but visiting hours are almost over so I am not sure if either of you want anything to eat before we have to leave?” I can feel the sadness of the thought of you leaving me, I really don’t want you to leave.

“No its okay thanks though Debbie, I should be heading back to my hotel room anyway. I will probably just order room service, I have had a long day travelling but thank you”. I deny food from mum as well, right now I cannot think about eating as my heart is breaking knowing that I lost y/n and I was the reason. Food is the last thing on my mind. Mum nods and walks away, as she does this that Brittany walks in again.

She gives y/n daggers as she sees that me and you are holding hands, y/n shoots the look straight back though that’s my girl! “I best get going, I will leave you both to say goodbye” as you let go of my hand and look between me and Brittany. Right now I couldn’t give a fuck about that Brittany being in the room. “please don’t leave y/n/n, you can stay here for the night. Please I cannot let you go again” I see the pity on your face which makes me hate myself right now and Brittany looks pissed. Maybe I shouldn’t of said that.

“What the fuck Mason! You are injured and you what that to stay with you rather than me. What is going on Mason. I know you got this bloody memory thing and you don’t remember me but fucking look at me, and you telling me you would rather want that then me, come on Mase stop having me on” I was taken aback by Brittany, the way she looked you up and down everytime she said ‘that’ I was so angry, you are 10000% better then that Brittany. I know you would never agree as you are so much more natural, but in my eyes you are the most beautiful women to ever walk the planet.

I go to defend you but you beat me to it “no she is right Mase. I don’t know why you would choose me when you got someone like her. But anyway I am not like her I do not get into bed with other peoples boyfriends so I will just leave” I cannot believe you would doubt yourself like that, I would always choose you over Brittany, but I guess I didn’t when I choose to cheat with Brittany fuck I hate myself.

I loved your little petty comment at the end, I go to laugh with make Brittany more angry “who the fuck are you talking to like that.” I can see its started to get a little heated, you step away as I know you do not like confrontation. “Hey.. come on lets all calm down” I say defusing the situation.

“I am going to go. I will come down tomorrow though okay Mase. Sleep well” I nod, I go to say ‘I love you’ but quickly stop myself. I watch as you walk out the room and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes again. I turn my attention back to Brittany “that was rude for you to speak to her like that” I start. Brittany rolls her eyes “oh Mase you know I am a thousand times better than her, you are lucky to have me. I get you got a past with her but me and you got together and you choose to be with me. So why are you now defending her?”

I just look at her with disgust, she is the reason me and you are not together right now. I know I am too blame too but it took 2 to ruin the relationship. “Please just go” I beg.

She rolls her eyes again I hate when she does that. “Whatever Mase, give me a ring when you come to your senses”. At that she turns on her heals and walks out the hospital room. At this time I am grateful for the silence, but then suddenly I feel a longing for you. All I want is you.

Your POV

It was so hard seeing Mason today, suddenly all these feelings come flooding back. All I want is to drive back to that hospital and kiss him but I have to stay strong. Seeing Brittany broke me too, knowing that the other women was there made me feel sick but I think I handled it well.

I checked into my hotel room and flopped straight onto the bed, I am so mentally drained after the long drive and seeing Mason all I want is to go to sleep. I quickly check my phone as I realised I hadn’t checked it since I got to Manchester. I got a couple of messages but one stood out the most, only sent 20 mins ago, from Mason. “Safe journey to the hotel, let me know once you are there. Thank you for making the trip down to see me, especially after all I have done. You have no idea how much I appreciate it x” I keep looking over the text as I am really not sure to reply, he does deserve to know I got here okay though, because chances are if I do not reply soon he will be ringing me to make sure I am safe. I quickly send a quick reply “I am at the hotel now x” I kept it basic I cannot let myself get sucked in again.

I go straight for a shower and I loved the feeling of the hot water on my shoulders, I hear my phone bing again which chances are it was Mason replying. I took my time in the shower, once I am out I wrap the hotel robe around me and collapse on the bed. I let my feelings out and I can feel the tears rolling down my face, all those emotions I kept in seeing Mason today. I can feel myself start to drift off to sleep when there is a knock at the door. I quickly open it and I can see room service “I am sorry I didn’t order this” the man looks confused and double checks the receipt “yeah room 107, it was a prepaid order over the phone for a ummmm Mr Mount” I nod and let the man bring the trolley of food in. Once he leaves I look over the trolley there is so much food.

I quickly message Mason “You didn’t need to do that x” I message he is quick to read the message and reply “I didn’t know what you fancied so I just ordered one of everything xx” I shake my head at his reply but I know he was just doing it to be nice and to be honest I am ready grateful as I head my stomach rumbling. “I am going to get fat with eating all this food x” he replies straight away “And you will still be the most incredibly sexiest girl in my eyes xxx” I smile at his reply, he is giving me butterflies all over again. He has always been smooth at compliments and eventhough I am insecure about how I look he has always made me feel like I am beautiful.

We continue the rest of the night chatting away over text it felt natural to speak to him, just living in the moment then it suddenly hit me with what happened and I quickly made an excuse that I needed to sleep which he agreed with. As I shut my eyes all the feelings with him came flooding back all over again, I spend another night crying myself to sleep.

When I wake up I feel this sudden urge of dread, I know Mason doesn’t remember but I do, I remember all the hurt he caused. I cannot see him again, I cannot let myself feel like that again. I see Mason’s text saying how he was excited to see me again today. I feel bad but I have got to lie I cannot see him again, not right now. I am still not over him, I am nowhere near over him. “Hey Mase, I am so sorry work called and they need me back like now. I am leaving to go home now. I am so sorry look after yourself and if you need anything let me know. I hope you get your memory back, but maybe at the same time I don’t so at least that way you don’t need to hurt the way that I do. I will always love you Mase xx” and with that I put my phone on silent ready for the drive home.

Mason’s POV

When I saw that text I felt my heart drop, I cannot believe she is already going. Maybe I came on too strong ordering her room service but I knew she wouldn’t eat otherwise and I was just trying to look out for her. It was such a lame excuse to use work as I know that’s not the reason. I read you like a book I know there is no work issue and that you were only saying that to get out of seeing me. I must of hurt you so bad.

I quickly respond back to you, I do not want to cause anymore conflict between us so I type “Okay I am gutted I am not seeing you. Can you do me a favour please don’t feel pressured and you do not need to make a decision now just promise me you will think about it. You are the only bit of normal I have at the moment, can you please just come down and let me take you out for dinner please that all I am asking. I just want to talk, I just want to fill in the gaps. Please y/n”.

I watch as you are typing, you are typing for ages which is making me anxious. Then you just reply in one word… “Okay”.

I try and message you to let you know I have been released from hospital and update you which you just read and do not reply. It made me feel awful that I know you are reading my messages but not responding. I wish I could just make everything okay, at the same time I wish I could have my memory back so I can feel the way you are hurting, so I can understand why I did what I did.

Readers POV

A couple of weeks passed since your saw Mason, he tried to message you a couple of times to let you know he has been released from hospital. I couldn’t bring myself to answer, seeing him that day made all of these feelings come back. I am not sure if I can let him in again. Out of the blue I saw a text from Declan, I hadn’t heard from him since the breakup. Lauren messaged me every now and again as we were close when me and Mason were dating , but when I moved back home it was hard to stay in touch. The messaged said “Come on y/n please answer Mason. All I have heard since he has been released from hospital is about you. I get what happened between you was shit and Mason is an arsehole for cheating on you. We were all on your side, but he is my mate y/n/n and he is struggling with the memory thing at the moment and all he knows at the moment is you. So please y/n/n I like to think we were good friends before that all happened, so if you do not want to do it for him, do it for me :) x” I smiled at the text and had a little giggle at the end. “Okay Dec, but I am doing it for you not him. I promise the next message he sends me I will reply”. And with that Mason’s name suddenly appears on my phone, him and Mason must have been together. “Declan said you would reply to my message. I know I fucked up y/n I know, I cannot remember why I did what I did but all I can do is apologise. All I have is happy memories with you at the moment, I need someone to help me get my memories back. The doctor said to keep doing things which feel ‘normal’ to me, and well you are the most ‘normal’ I can get. One date please that’s all I ask please and then I promise I will leave you alone xx” . I am debating my answer but I know Mason won’t quit until he gets what he wants that’s how he got me to go on a first date with him, and to be fair he did say he would leave me alone if I agreed. I sent him a quick text back “Okay Mount but you better make it worth my while x”. He reads it straight away and I can see he is typing, that’s when his message pops up in the chat “Have I ever let you down”;) xx”

The next couple of days Mason keeps the messages to a minimum which I am grateful for, this week has been busy with work so I am actually looking forward to taking a break and going out. Mason didn’t tell me much about the date, all he said was to dress nice and for me to be with him early afternoon. I thought this was really weird as if it was an afternoon date then why am I dressing up? The day before our date he told me I also need to bring my passport and an overnight bag, I am now seriously confused surely we cannot be going out the county? I frantically spent that evening looking for my passport and trying to decide what to wear. I opted in for a short black dress that hugs my figure perfectly and I knew Mason would love it, it used to be one of his favourites.

The next morning I can hear the dreaded sound of my alarm, I have had to get up at the crack of dawn to get up and ready and make the drive to Manchester. I thought I could pair my dress with a long overcoat to make it look slightly more casual and a nice pair of boots. I quickly post a picture to my private Instagram storey and then make a move:

The drive to Manchester was painless the traffic was on my side for a change. I arrived in Manchester around 2pm, I walked up the front steps to Mason’s and I suddenly start to feel sick this was the house we used to live at together. I start to shake but before I can turn around Mason opens the door, he obviously saw me on the ring doorbell.

“Wow look at you” Mason looks me up and down and now suddenly I feel really self-conscious. He was dressed in black skinny jeans with a white button shirt. He looked fit I cannot deny but I cannot let myself have feelings for him like that. “So give it up Mount where are we going. Dress nice. Get here for lunchtime. Passport and overnight bag. What is happening?” I know he could hear the anxiety in my voice and I watch him give me a little giggle and holds my hand in his. “Please stop worrying I promise you are going to love it. Just trust me okay” my heart drops at that last comment. “Well Mase the last time I trusted you I got cheated on” I can see that comment pissed him off. “Enough of the past that I cannot remember. Lets just live in the present, just for tonight please.” I nod giving in as there is no point keep bringing up the past that he doesn’t remember. “Okay Mase deal. Wherever we are going better be good as I am starving.”

Mason drove us to Manchester airport and we checked in through a private entrance and we were taken to a private lounge, it had some other couples there but I am guessing they all have some kind of status. I keep playing with coat as Mason knows I feel comfortable in situations like this, I hate being in places with people who have status it just makes me feel uncomfortable as I feel like a fraud as I am anything but people like this. Brittany would be the ideal girl to be taking to places like this then suddenly put the thought to the back of my mind as its making me feel worse. Mason kept rubbing the small of back to reassure me as I know he could tell I felt out of place, I wanted to push him away but I know it was only doing it because he cared. He disappeared for a couple of mins then reappeared with 2 mimosas in his hand passing me one “its never too early to drink on a date night” I giggle and take the drink from him quickly having a sip realising how strong it is “I definitely agree! Are you going to tell me where we are going yet?” He shakes his head and shoots me a wink “patience is key my beautiful girl”. He gives me butterflies in my stomach, I am now all of sudden feel nervous around him.

About an hour later and many drinks down a man comes over to where me and Mason are sitting, I can feel the alcohol has definitely gone straight to my head, maybe I should of eaten a little something before I came. “Mr Mount your plane is ready whenever you are” Mason nods and thanks him. I quickly shoot him a look “Did he just say plane? Mason you have not hired a whole bloody plane?!”

“Well you said to make sure its worth your while so I am pulling out all the stops. Now come on” he grabs both his and my weekend bags and I follow him to the terminal. I can see a small private plane on the run way and I am assuming this is for us. Mason did this for us on about our 5th date and I was completely gobsmacked, he always ensures he treats me, that was one of the things I loved most about Mason. I am easily pleased but he always made sure to treat me like a princess.

We chat the whole plane ride there, I am now starting to relax, I think the alcohol is helping the situation but I am starting to ease back into Mason it feels like old times. I am now just telling myself to enjoy tonight as we do not know what tomorrow holds so there is no point in arguing with Mason, I might as well enjoy the night.

We are now preparing for landing, we were only in the air for just over 2 hours but it felt like minutes as me and Mason non stopped chatted and laughed the whole time. “Are you going to let me know where we are now?” Mason finally gives in “Okay well you know when we first started talking and I asked you where you wanted to go for our first date and you said Pasta and Tiramisu from Italy.”

“I said that as a joke Mason” I quickly butted in.

“I know you were only joking but I was gutted I couldn’t actually do that for our first date due to footy commitments so… well… I thought it is the best setting for our kind of 1st date again”. My heart warms I cannot believe he has gone through this much effort. “I cannot believe you done this Mason like wow you didn’t need to.” Before I knew it I jumped across the seats and placed my hands either side of Mason’s face, I just stare into his eyes and then look down at his lips. I then give him a passionate kiss, he is returning the kiss straight away holding my hips, I do not know what came over me, I think it’s a mixture between my heart and some alcohol. I quickly pull away and go back to seat to prepare for landing. I can see the small cocky smirk that Mason is showing, is this his plan all along?

When we land Mason gets us a taxi to our hotel, the outside of the hotel is insane, its massive and so bright and colourful. As we walk inside the lobby is probably the size of my whole flat block, with massive colour chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. I am speechless just taking it all in, me and Mason have been to some nice places before but this has had to be the nicest. “Pass me your bag, stay here. I want you to see the room for the first time after dinner. Please.. unless you need to freshen up or anything?” I can tell he really wants to wow me but is still thinking about me the whole time. I give me a small smile “I am okay I freshened up on the plane before we landed thank you though” .

Mason gives me the biggest smile like he is so proud of himself, I cannot wait to see what this room looks like. It must be amazing with the way Mason is acting. I quickly sat down on the sofa and took a video of the lobby and send it to my friend. She is an architect so she would be in love with this. I see Mason come jogging through the lobby approaching me so I stand to greet him. “Right shall we go our reservation is at 7pm so right on time” I nod and link arms with Mason and let him lead me outside to another taxi to take us to the restaurant.

The taxi pulls outside a small Italian Trevena Mason comes round to my side of the car and helps me out, I am trying to steady my feet as maybes boots were a bad idea as I am started to feel a little drunk and I am struggling to keep my balance. Mason puts his hand on my back and guides me into the restaurant, he steps in front of me at the desk. “Good evening I have a reservation for Mason Mount for 2.” The man behind the counter looks on the system and confirms “Yes I can see it here Mr Mount we have arrange a table near the back for you as requested so you both can have your privacy. Right this way I will seat you at your table” we follow him to our table and Mason brings out my chair.

He is really getting me in my feels, we are sat at the back of the restaurant out the way with a little fireplace next to us. “This restaurant is amazing Mase how did you even find it?” I say in awe of how beautiful the scenery is. “well believe it or not its actually from Lewis. He came here a couple of months ago and said its incredible.”

“Well Lewis always did have an amazing taste in restaurants so I am sure this is going to be amazing” I smile, me and Mason just sit across from each other admiring each other. We are interrupted by the waiter taking our order. Once they walk away Mason places his hand in mine, “it was shit coming home and you weren’t there. It feels so empty without you” I quickly pull away as I can feel a lump in my throat “please Mase don’t start. Lets just enjoy tonight. No talking about this please”. Mason nods agreeing with me.

“That food was incredible” I saw leaning backwards trying to extend my stomach where I am so full, “having traditional pasta and tiramisu from Italy, no food is ever going to prepare!” Mason takes the last bite of his dessert “I am glad you enjoyed it. I cannot believe we have done 2 bottles of wine” I look over at the 2 empty bottles in disbelief “no way have we? Well our heads are probably going to pay for that in the morning. Its been an amazing night tonight Mason thank you. Its been just like old time I have really enjoyed it”.

Mason went to say something but we were interrupted by the waiter with the bill placing it on our table and explaining he will be back. “How much is it?” I ask concerned about the cost as I know I will never be able to afford a place like this on my office job wage. Mason shakes his head “don’t worry about it.” I feel a sense of guilt “mason you have paid for the plane and the hotel, this dinner is probably going to be expensive its not right if you have to pay for that too”

“You can get the next one” mason replies straight away. I feel a sense of relief knowing I haven’t got to pay as it would probably cost about a months rent but at the same time feel bad. As Mason pays the bill I explain that I am going to go the toilet. As I walk to the bathroom I can feel the alcohol hitting me. I look at myself in the mirror and all these feelings for Mason come flooding back, all of sudden all I can think about is him, I need him.. I need him now.

Mason is standing at the table as I return and he guides me out of the restaurant as we say thank you to the staff, we can see some paparazzi outside as we are leaving “shit sorry I picked this place as I thought it would be out the way. Fuck sake” I feel bad for Mason I know he hates all of this. I hold his hand in assurance he looks at me confused. “are you sure? They are going to make up stories” I look Mason in the eyes and place a small kiss to his lips “I am living for today Mase, I am enjoying tonight lets not worry about tomorrow”. Mason nods at me and I think I see a small smile on his face. He takes of his coat and places it over me to block my face from the cameras. This was a usual occurrence for me and Mason, he always made sure I was protected from them.

We quickly walk to the car ignoring the flashes and once we are in the car I do not know what came over me. I am not sure if its how protective Mason is of me or the alcohol or maybe a little bit of both but I forget that we are and I pounce on Mason.

I place one hand on his thigh and the other onto his cheek as I place a kiss, I pull away waiting for his reaction but he grabs me closer and deepens the kiss. It’s a urgent kiss as we are both fighting for air. I can feel his hand on my thigh which is urging me on more. We both explore each other bodies, and the memories of him flood me again.

We break apart to get out the taxi and through the hotel, as soon as we are in the lift Mason swipes a card and picks the top floor. As soon as the door closes we are attached again, Mason pushes me up against the wall and places his hands on my bum whilst we deepen the kiss, our tongues exploring eachothers months. I pull my fingers through his hair and hear the sound moans coming out of his mouth.

The lift dings notifying us that we are at our floor, Mason backs away and leads me out of the lift. I stood still in my tracks as I realise the lift opens straight into the room. It’s a penthouse suite, the room is bigger then my whole flat. Its got a queen size poster bed on one side of the room where on the other there is a whole living room set up. That’s when I see there is a bath in the middle of the room that looks out over the city. “Wow this room is amazing, its so beautiful Mason I am speechless I do not know what to say. Just thank you” Mason places another kiss to my lips before he replies “believe me nothing beats the way you look tonight” . Mason was never short of compliments and he always makes me feel amazing even when I do not feel it.

I do not even know what to reply, but before I know it out lips are together again. He is quick to take his shirt and jeans off just leaving him in his boxers. I just stand there for a minute admiring him “you should take a photo it will last longer” Mason says when he catches me staring, I giggle back “I used to have those photos, believe me you are like the sexiest man I have ever met”. I see Mason blush and his hands are back on me. He starts grabbing my ass with one hand whilst the other is in my hair gripping it. I can feel he slowly unzipping my dress, I can feel him struggling “do you want me to turn around?” I saw giggling, Mason rolls his eyes “Yes please” he says with the hump.

I quickly turn around and place my hair to one side, he leaves a trail of kisses along my shoulder as he unzips my dress. I am glad I opted into not wearing a bra, so he just leaves me in my small black thong. I turn around so I face Mason, I can see his eyes looking over my body, and now I suddenly feel vert self conscious. I try to hide myself a little, Mason grabs my hands “don’t do that. You have the most incredible body”. I can feel myself blushing. He kisses me again as he plays with my nipple between his fingers, I cannot stop the moaning that is coming out of my mouth which is urging Mason on more.

He quickly picks me up by the ass and places me on the bed. He quickly climbs on top of me resting his hands either side of my head ensuring he doesn’t put too much weight on me. Mason looks me over and I can see the bulge in his boxers urging to get out “Fuck me, you are the most incredible women in the world baby girl” I move my hand to his boxers and slide my hand underneath to get to where Mason needs me most. Mason moans at the sudden touch, I start to make movement “uh y/n that feels so fucking good to have your hand wrapped around my cock” Mason quickly removes his boxers to give me more access to his dick so I can make longer strokes. As I play with his dick Mason is on my nipples, teasing and sucking them and then moving onto the next one to do the same “Mason your mouth is incredible”. He gives me a cocky smile “you wanna see what this mouth can actually do?”

Mason doesn’t even wait for my reply before he is kissing all the way over my body, I cannot control my whimpers and I can feel myself getting wet at the anticipation about what is going to happen next. He positions himself inbetween my thighs and begins to lower my thong with his teeth. He looks at my pussy and straight back up at me and he can tell I am dripping, he was always so cocky when we have sex, he loves what he can do to me. Mason without warning makes one long stride with his tongue against my pussy, my hands go straight to his hair “fuck Mason” I can feel him smiling against me as he continues his licks and sucks, he then puts his focus on my clit and I do not know how much longer I can hold it. I can feel my stomach clenching. Mason then inserts 2 fingers into me whilst his tongue works on my clit. “fuck Mason I don’t think I can hold it” I can hear him hum into me “don’t hold it babygirl I want you to cum all over my tongue” he continues that pace which has me cumming in a couple of minutes as I unfold screaming his name as I have one hand in his hair tucking away and the other holding onto the bedframe.

“I love when you scream my name” Mason says as he crawls up, he continues to kiss me which I can taste my cum on his tongue. “I think its your turn superstar” Mason still continues to kiss me but I pull away to start kissing his neck, I can feel myself getting too excited and probably leaving a hickey but Mason is continuing to moan into my neck which is encouraging me more. As I pull away I look into Mason’s eyes “I need that cock in my mouth” I slide my hand down Mason’s body and grab his cock again and start pumping.

“Y/n/n you have no idea what you are doing to me! I would love that but I just need to be inside you right now” I let go of his dick so he can give himself a quick couple of pumps and lines himself up with you. “For me this feels like yesterday but for you this must feel like its been forever.” I can feel my heart break at that comment but right now I am too turned on to let it affect me. Mason pushes himself inside me and gives me a couple of mins to adjust to his size. “You can move Mase, please I need you to ruin me”.

He hoovers over me “you don’t have to tell me twice baby” he grabs my hips as he starts to pick up a rhythm “have I ever told you.. your pussy is out of this world” mason says panting, “You have told me on many occasions yes but its always good to hear because believe me your dick is incredible” this seems to give Mason more fuel as the pace starts to get harder and quicker. We both moaning eachothers names and how good we making eachother. I can feel his hands all over my body as mine is doing the same to him. He thrusts are starting to get sloppy and I can feel he is nearing his orgasm. “I want to feel you cum all over my dick, be a good girl for me and cum all over me” with his words I can feel myself needing to cum as well. Mason reaches down and uses his thumb to make circles on my clit which is driving me insane, I cannot hold of moans in which I am worried other people can hear. Mason always loved when I am loud. “uh Mason like that I am g-g-onna” and with that I unravel onto his dick and the feel of me cumming Mason uses this to reach his high as well, he quickly pulls out and cums all over my stomach. He flops next to me as we both lay there staring at the ceiling catching our breathes.

“T-T-hat was a-amazing, y-y are i-Incredible“ I say panting, Mason flops over so he is on his stomach and draws lines in my arm. “I am only incredible because you make me incredible” I giggle at him as I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. We haven’t been this intimate in a long time, but the problem is he cannot remember the distance.

“Did you want to have a bath overlooking the city to clean up?” I agree and Mason runs us a bath and opens the French doors to the balcony so there is a small breeze which we both sit in the round bath probably big enough to fit 6 people whilst we overlook the lights of the city.

We lay in the bath looking out over the city, I have never seen anything more perfect. Mason turns me around so I am facing him. “Can I ask you something.. you don’t have to answer just something that’s been on my mind. You know since we broke up have you seen anymore? Have you.. you know.. slept with anyone else?” I can tell he is nervous to ask this of course if he remembers I would say the same thing, I know about Brittany but was there any other girls? I grab Mason’s face between my hands and place a long passionate kiss onto his lips. “No.. no other guys. You are my entire world Mason, I couldn’t even think about dating another guy let alone sleeping with anyone else. Even though you moved on I couldn’t think of another man I would of felt like I was cheating on you”.

Mason’s face is still between my hands and he pulls me closer to return the kiss, as he pulls away I see him smile “you are incredible you know that why did I ever fuck it up”.

I stretch my body out realising Mason is not next to me, as I slowly open my eyes I let it adjust to the bright light that it radiating the room from the outside world. My body aches as I relive round 2 and 3 that occurred last night, I quickly look over and see Mason sitting on the chair at the table in the corner of the room. His head is down like he is stressed. “What time is it?” I asked I feel like I have slept for hours and with the amount of light coming into the room it must be later then I think. “Its 11 we gotta get up and go soon” his voice is low and raspy and I am confused at his bluntness. “Whats up?” I go wrap the hotel robe over my body and go and join in at the table.

Mason looks at me, I can see his eyes are red and puffy he looks stressed and upset. I am really worried. “I-I-I remember” I look at him confused “You remember what?” he looks down trying not to make eye contact with me. “I remember everything.. I woke up this morning and it all came back. E-E-Everything. Y/n/n I am so sorry” he then breaks and starts to cry. I want to console him but then I need to stop myself, we are back to reality again, we are back to the guy that cheated on me. “There was a news article released this morning, it showed pictures of us last night of when we left the restaurant. Brittany has already been on the phone screwing at me, my family are all asking me why me and you are in Italy and then everything just came flooding back. Back to reality all over again”. All I want is to jump across the table and wrap Mason in my arms but I need to be strong, he isn’t the guy from last night he is now the one who broke my heart, the one who cheated and tore our relationship.

“We best start getting ready” is all I can say quickly getting into the shower and packing up my things. The whole journey home me and Mason sat in silence it was the longest trip of my life. As soon as we pulled back into the driveway, my car now coming into view. I quickly grab my bag out the back and make my way to my car. “Y/n wait!” Mason stops me “Last night was amazing, I know you went with the guy who didn’t remember but please it must of meant something. You are the love of my life y/n. I cannot let you go again.” I start to reply but I can only let a breath out. “I-I cannot do this right now Mase” I quickly get in the car and start driving away. I can see him in the review mirror disappearing as I am make the journey home.

Its been a couple of weeks since our Italy date, Mason hasn’t attempted to message or call which has been nice that he has given me my space but I would be lying if I didn’t say I missed him. I tried to get on with my life but all I can think about was our date I know deep down no one will ever compare to Mason. Part of me wishes I never went on that date but it was so incredible I will hold that memory forever, it helped Mason get his memory back but right now I am not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

I am sat at work when my phone rings I am shocked to see Lewis ringing my phone, out of everyone I expected to see on my phone he definitely wasn’t one of them. I quickly excuse myself and answer the phone “Hey y/n, long time no speak how are you?” I am really not sure how to answer.

“Yeah I am good Lew how are you? Is everything okay? Just you are the last person I expected to see on my phone we haven’t spoken since and Mason broke up”.

“Yeah I know I am sorry about that. I know he was the one that fucked up but still hard to see my baby bro so broken you know. Honestly though y/n I was gutted about the breakup out of all the girls you have always been my favourite. I know people struggled as you were not famous and about your intentions at all but honestly I could see how much you loved him, and you made him so happy”.

It was hard for me to hear all of this, but I always got on well with Lewis. “thanks Lew that means a lot. Is everything okay though?”

“Yeah everything is okay, I just wanted to say thank you. After everything Mason put you through you still dropped everything to come and see in hospital and agreed to go on that date which brought his memory back so our family just wanted to thank you.”

“Its fine honestly I care for Mason a lot, I would of hated myself if I didn’t go. Plus that restaurant you recommended was 10/10”.

“Yeah I did say to Mason I thought you would love it. Look I know you have probably heard this speech before but-“

“Look Lew let me stop you right there because I know what you are going to say-“

“Please y/n just let me finish. Okay Mase is a mess without you. He broke up with that Brittany bitch which I was so relieved for, we could tell she was only using him for the fame. I understand he fucked up and I am not asking for you to get back with him but could you just try and be friends? He said he didn’t message you since you guys got back as everytime he messaged you, you ignore him and it breaks him all over again. I am his big brother so I gotta ask, its just he was always stronger when he was with you”.

“I don’t k-k-know, I love him so much I just cannot let myself get hurt again but because its you I promise I will think about our conversation okay”

“That’s all I ask thank you y/n. Mason was so stupid letting you go. Take care”

I reply a “You too” and then I cut the call. Now my mind is all over the place. I have no idea what to do. I quickly ring my boss and explain that I have a family emergency and explain that I got to go. Before I know it I am on my way to Manchester.

As I approach Mason’s door I go to knock then turn around, I then bring myself to knock again but stop before I do the action. What am I doing here? I turn around to walk back to the car when the door opens. “Y/n?” He must of saw me on the ring door bell.

“Sorry I don’t actually know why I am here.” I stand there staring at him. My mind is going 100 miles per hour I cannot think straight.

“Did you want to come in?” Mason moves to the side offering me inside.

“I don’t know” I continue to stand still just staring at Mason. Mason giggles.

“Well okay, I will leave the door open if you want to come in you are more then welcome.” Mason walks away and I can see him making his way into the living room. I shortly follow him in and shut the door. I slowly walk into the living room and sit down on the sofa opposite him.

“You decided to come inside, good choice” I can tell his he being cocky, I am not sure if this is to cover up his anxiousness though.

“Your brother called me-“ I start but Mason quickly replies.

“I know sorry I didn’t know he was going to do that. I promise I didn’t ask him to. I just confided in him last night. Told him how much I fucked up, and that the date the other week was the first time I have felt myself since the break up. I am sorry he shouldn’t of rung you”.

“Its okay I am glad he did, I still care about you Mason. I am sorry you are struggling”.

“Its okay it was my own fault. I really cannot hate myself anymore then I do right now. I broke up with Brittany by the way”.

“Yeah I know Lewis said, but please stop beating yourself up about what happened. Its in the past there is no point you focusing your whole life on it.”

“You are my whole life y/n and I let you go over one stupid fight. I fucked my entire life, my entire future over one fucking silly night”.

“Mason stop come on” At this point I have now moved closer and let him cry into me. “Please stop crying.”

“Sorry I don’t want you to think I am manipulating you or anything I am just a mess”

“I am came here mase, you didn’t force me here so you are not manipulating me. I am surprised you even know what manipulating means.” And I can see both of us giggle

“You are not funny” Mason said wiping his eyes

“I am a little” Me and Mason just sit there in silence staring at eachother. Its weird to think that only a couple of weeks ago we were sat having dinner with not a care on the world and now it feels like we got the weight of it all on our shoulders.

“Y/n why did you come?”

“Honestly I don’t know. Your brother said a lot of stuff that made me realise how good we were together but I just cannot forget that night. You shattered me, I am still picking up the pieces”.

“I know baby I know, honestly if you give me a chance we can go back to the good and I promise I will spend every day making it up to you. I will never let you feel that way ever again”.

“I am just so conflicted Mase because my heart is screaming to take you back but my head is telling me to remember how you hurt me.”

“I know I hurt you y/n I know but please I will spend everyday showing you that I am worthy of your love”.

I do not reply to Mason as I have no words I learn across the sofa and place my lips onto his, he continues to kiss me back. “Does that mean you take me back?”

“This means we will see how things go. We start from the beginning again. No pressure, no expectation we just see how it goes. You were the best thing that ever happened to me I guess I should allow myself to give it a chance.”

Mason gives me the biggest smile and continues to hug me. “Who would of known that Amnesia would of brought us together”.

I smirked at him “Well at this rate we could think that you faked the Amnesia to win me back”. I wink at him.

“Believe me baby girl if I faked it, I would of faked it a long time ago to get you back. Now come on I got a lot of making up to do” Mason said carrying me bridal style to the bedroom for a night of Mason winning me back.

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