#this is largely about gansey and adam

[yarrowleef-babbles]

i loved the raven cycle (and TDT by extension) and also i am so infuritated with the raven cycle and a lot of it has to do with the conflict-to-resolution ratio being so very unbalanced

like i think i peaked Fixation Mode between Dream Thieves and Blue Lily, like i was so indescribably hooked on the build up of all this emotional conflict, but what gets me hyped on that stuff is the awaiting of some kind of cathartic resolution to all the interpersonal mess and I was just!! not given it!! the love for each other despite everything and the desire to fix things was clearly there but never properly acted on. because ~they didn't need words~

you know I think maybe you do actually need at least an attempt at words sometimes. i think maybe when your relationships are built on eggshells and the same arguments keep happening over and over, a couple (unrelated to the root of the conflict) grand gestures and knowing looks are actually not a resolution. that's just sweeping the problems under a rug until they inevitably come up again another day when you trip over all that baggage building up underneath

the characters fighting so so much only works if a good amount of time is given later to actually resolving them, otherwise it leaves the whole relationship(s) feeling doomed to fail. which is so frustrating because that's clearly not what its supposed to be about. i'm in agonies

[ronanlynchdefender]

The political stances of The Raven Cycle characters are so fascinating to me. You got Blue over here who is very much a progressive activist in the making. She recognizes things like misogyny and is not afraid to call those things out even when it concerns her closest friends. Because of that, I definitely see her as the type of activist who would be in the front lines at protests whether that be at the Capitol, college campuses, at the border, or as is the case in the dreamer trilogy, tied to a tree. She is the type of person who demands change in our current system and would demand it loudly and through acts of protest or civil disobedience.

Then you have Adam who displays no strong desire to change the system and whose only desire is to rise up in that system. He wants to climb the social ladder and assimilate to those of higher social status which is partially why he envies Gansey so much in the beginning because Gansey was born into it. Adam still tries to do this in the dreamer trilogy by essentially pretending to be a Gansey-like figure while at Harvard despite hating it. Eventually, Adam gives up on trying to belong within this higher social class and "climbing the ladder" but then strangely enough becomes a fed, which means just integrating into another form of hierarchy and power structure. And I feel like a more interesting arc would've been rejecting being a part of these societal systems altogether.

Which I suppose now leads us to Ronan who is a literal anarchist. He actually rejects all societal systems and rules and it permeates every aspect of his life. But actually, I shouldn't say all because there is one societal institution which he does enjoy partaking in: religion. With the exception of his catholicism, he does not engage in any other societal institution: education, law, politics. He hates it, in fact, It is antithetical to his being which is what makes his characterization so perfect because of course a gay farmer god would hate oppressive rules and structures (except for religion). That's not even mentioning that he is a canonical ecoterrorist that cost the US government a billion dollars. But what is really interesting about his character (and where his and Blue's political stances differ) is that because he rejects these systems he has no interest or stake in changing them. He'd sooner tear down the system than try to reform it.

And then there’s Gansey who doesn't seem to engage in politics and would rather spend his days reading his little Welsh books and going on his fun adventures. Of course, he is able to do this largely because he has the privilege to not worry about politics or social class. It seems that Blue's influence changes this as they are both chaining themselves to trees in protest during the dreamer trilogy. Other than that, I don't really have a lot to say about Gansey and his politics. But I find it very interesting that Maggie has created this close-knit group of characters with such varying relationships to how they view politics and social structures. I tried to draw out a 2-axis grid to show their differences, but I don't know if it really works because I feel like Gansey kinda screws it up but nevertheless I like how they each represent different ends of a spectrum sort of.

[veerbles]

couldn't put this headcanon out of my head so here it is: the flashback where adam decides to go to aglionby because of a stranger looking like ronan is a vision.

hear me out.

one: in adam's head, it is ronan, not someone resembling him. in adam's head he says thing like "Adam had made his decision to come to Aglionby, and [...] it was sort of because of Ronan", and doesn't say the stranger didn't actually look like ronan, only that it couldn't be him because of the timeline: "In his head, that boy was Ronan, but in retrospect, Adam thought it couldn’t have been. He wouldn’t have been old enough to have his driver’s license yet."

two: adam is the magician. it is emphasized multiple times by multiple people that it's who he is, unrelated to cabeswater and the deal. it's canon that he retains his powers even after cabeswater is gone. so one possible interpretation is that he had psychic abilities even before the deal, but they largely only manifested after he started really believing in magic and getting involved in it.

three: time is circular on the ley line, and the ley line (cabeswater) is invested and cares about the greywaren and the magician. both together and apart. adam's aspirations in life formed a trajectory that would take him away from magic and belief and cabeswater and ronan himself; it's reasonable to assume cabeswater knew (time is circular) that it requires intervention to get adam on the path that leads to manifesting his power.

in conclusion: that day, in the grocery store, adam saw ronan climb into the car with gansey and noah - but the moment he saw was a moment from over a year later. he didn't know it was a vision because he didn't know about visions yet, but my hc is that adam got a glimpse of the future he would get to someday join, and that's what put him on that track. ronan really is the catalyst to going to aglionby (and finding himself).

[one-squash-one-end]

>1.6k words on bi Gansey

Hi! This belongs to my big Raven Cycle analysis, click here for the masterpost.

Today we are diving into all the reasons why I think Gansey is a bi king (and then some more). Enjoy!

(I think there might be mild spoilers up to trk, nothing too bad though, more character interactions than plot)

b) Gansey

Alright hear me out. This man. There is nothing this rich boy can do to beat the fruit allegations. He is a bi king, through and through. Everyone but him knows, including you, because what I have to say is the absolute truth and I am great at convincing. I once saw a tumblr post that said “Gansey has to physically restrain himself from kissing all his friends” and there has never been anything more true.

And it’s important to note that this is really not only reader interpretation. Or, at least, reader interpretation includes other character’s interpretations, which are sometimes incredibly straight(lol)forward.

After doing Adam a big favor, Gansey’s sister Helen (who is aro-ace btw, because I said so) immediately assumes he is sleeping with him, which is a conclusion she jumped to way too quickly if Gansey has never previously shown any interest in Adam or other boys. Like, she seems to know him quite well, and for her to just think he’s in a relationship with Adam says a lot about the homoeroticism prevalent in Gansey’s friendships with both Adam and also Ronan.

Because then we have Kavinsky, another canonically queer character, who thus might arguably have some sort of gaydar, assuming Ronan and Gansey are in a romantic (but most of all, sexual) relationship. Admittedly, this has largely to do with Kavinsky assuming things about Ronan and his sexuality, as is explicitly mentioned in the book. However, you can very easily speculate about someone’s sexuality without knowing their (previous) partners, if there have been any at all, so to correctly believe Ronan is gay does not have to randomly entail relationship speculations. So somewhere, even from not interacting with them so much, Kavinsky must have gotten that idea. That somewhere is the deep affection the two of them share, which is absolutely palpable for everyone around. Yes, I know their relationship is described as brotherly (please note I do not condone incest!), but also somewhere within “they’re bros” lies the implication they are gay. Two bros chilling in a hot tub. They’re having a bromance. Let bros kiss.

Another person who seems to believe in a Gansey romance above bromance is Henry, who at that point of book three had only interacted with him at school very superficially. We can assume the way Gansey behaves with Adam and Ronan at school is very much homoerotic, or elsewise Henry would have no reason to be surprised about seeing Gansey with Blue (“a chick”). He can’t be surprised about Gansey pulling… someone, considering he is apparently super good-looking, he just never had reason to assume Gansey was anything but achillean.

Now this was mostly people who don’t know Gansey that well, or at least people not part of the inner circle, so it can’t mean that much, right? Surely there would not be anyone who truly, deeply knows Gansey, who would assume he is queer. Right? Wrong. I have since forgotten the context of that quote, but Adam, someone who is very close to both of them, thinks that Ronan and Gansey could date. Make of that what you will, but I will it to be homoerotic subtext. (Or text, as what Adam says is what he says, no room for interpretation there.)

Lastly, Adam’s father called him the f-slur. Ok, I will admit that it’s not completely confirmed to be that, but what else would a censored word with f stand for? Again, it’s hard to tell, because my two options would be the slur and just straight-up “fucker”, but both “f*g” and “fuck” are used directly in the following books. The f-slur was used directly in Ronan’s narrative though, in that of a character who talks very obscenely in general, so I have no trouble believing Gansey just wouldn’t have wanted to repeat that word, especially if it’s just a memory.

The line between romantic and platonic interactions is thin enough in this series as it is, but Gansey seems to blur it especially. I am going to touch on that at a later point, but platonic affection is given a very important role, so much that in some parts it carries as much significance as romantic actions do (as it should- relationship anarchy rules), if not more. With Gansey that seems to be especially strong, a lot of the things he does with his friends seeming romantic.

First of all, he is co-parenting with Ronan. Yes, it is a bird, but Ronan loves her like a human daughter so the point stands. The two of them even squabble about it like an old married couple, Gansey’s legendary “this is exactly why I didn’t want to have a baby with you” speaks for itself.

Then there is the insomnia quality time, as I like to call it. We, as the readers, are probably supposed to focus on the late night phone calls and drives with Blue, the fact that “she makes [him] quiet”, and that he can sleep after talking to her. But what I find equally important is the time he spends with Ronan at Monmouth during those sleepless nights, them getting orange juice at three a.m. While it might not be something super comforting that makes them both fall asleep, this routine they seem to have fallen into, just spending time while not expecting anything from the other, is something that means a lot to me; they are very much giving platonic soulmates, but also what if they kissed?

Of course I cannot not mention “While I’m gone, dream me the world. Something new for every night.” That boy is being unnecessarily dramatic about going away for literally one weekend. And why? Because “they had been a two-headed creature for so long, Ronan-and-Gansey. He couldn’t say it, though. There were a thousand reasons why he couldn’t say it.” What are those reasons though? Is it because he is actually in love with Ronan but admitting to that would make the friendship super fucking awkward so he whips out a dramatic, half-romantic metaphor quote? Yeah, that makes total sense.

Staying on my Ronsey bullshit, let’s not forget the glorious, deleted pool table scene. In case you are not familiar with it, or have forgotten the way it sounds (probably the reason it was deleted), I’ll just let two quotes speak for themselves. “There was something suggestive about how [Ronan] wore the suit” Oh yes, of course there was. Sometimes you wear clothing with a certain intention, and in Ronan’s case, that intention is to be bent over the pool table by Gansey. This becomes even clearer here: “Gansey was well aware that Ronan rather fancied the way he looked while he played pool, and the way he reached across the felt now, intentional and elegant and coiled, indicated that he was fancying himself at this very moment.” Once again, everything is super intentional, and Gansey wants to fuck him so badly. Not even kidding at this point, the way Maggie wrote this scene really makes it look like Gansey finds Ronan super hot; even as an aromantic asexual person I have to say, this is a lot more than “bro appreciating his best friend’s glow-up in a completely heterosexual way”. This iconic scene is gay brainrot, which is exactly why we did not get to experience this masterpiece within an actual, published book. The Ronsey shippers would have gone too wild.

[Speaking of which, I’d like to clarify that I do not ship Ronsey in the way some other people do, I do prefer them with their canon love interests, however I clearly see the potential of them having had some kind of mutual attraction in the past, I just think it makes the dynamic a lot more fun and interesting, sort of like how Jesper had a crush on Kaz in Six of Crows.]

Gansey has received at least one (1) dick pic of Ronan. The circumstances do not say anything about either Gansey or Ronan, but I think it’s funny, it builds character, so I chose to include it in this.

Perhaps the strongest evidence for him running with the lgbtq+ is the fact that he goes to an all-boys school. Come on, what is he supposed to do, surrounded by all those guys rich enough to afford good haircuts and a private trainer? Should he just not have gay thoughts? Impossible.

Now all this was mostly evidence for Gansey swinging that way, somehow, but of course he’s one of those doors that open both ways. Yes, he has a girlfriend, but there is even more proof for him being specifically m-spec, just you wait. To begin with, apart from his friends Gansey has two true loves. Henrietta (the town with a female name, who his sister refers to as his girlfriend- the same sister who assumes Gansey is sleeping with Adam; Helen is a bi Gansey truther) and Glendower, the dead, male king. Obviously, this is totally serious business. Additionally, I have talked through to a very full extent how he is in love with Ronan, but of course he is also in love with Henry, I do not have to elaborate on this. He is also very much jealous when Blue and Adam are dating, as is described multiple times, but we don’t find out exactly who he is jealous of. Yes, he likes Blue, and he is sad that his best friend is sort of being stolen away etc., but what if he also just wanted to hold hands. With both of them. At once.

It’s not only Gansey being in love with all of them, it’s also all of them being in love with Gansey. His bi swagger. It was this: Blue finding him irresistible. It was this: Ronan wanting to smash his fist through a wall because of how hot Gansey is. It was this: Henry saying Gansey is a “Caucasian with great hair”.

Bi Gansey is the truth and I will defend that until the day I die.

However, I will admit that he is absolutely a cis guy, no question. At no point in his life has he had to be afraid to take up space or anything, but that man supports trans rights of course. He would not wear a crop top on his own, but considering how he is in love with them, Blue, Ronan and Henry could bully him into it and he would rock it.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I don’t want to go off in the tags of that no fandom post so much but your bisexual PowerPoint Gansey tags. The idea of Gansey not comprehending bisexuality during the road trip SO funny to me because it implies either A) post-Pynch, Gansey just thought Adam realized he was always gay, something that really assuages Gansey’s guilt about “stealing Blue” (he is So Insane) or B) Gansey fully thinks being bi is just an Adam Thing. Because he’s Adam Parrish! Of course he’d have a special sexuality just for him. If anyone would, it would be Adam!

for anyone wondering these were the tags: https://www.tumblr.com/lesbianbluesey/753538524458991616?source=shareI think both are Highly possible and hilarious, but I’m going to go with the former because I do enjoy leaning into the ‘Gansey’s repressed controlled republican parents reaaally messed up his worldview’ aspect of everything he has going on, and because your right this would totallly be something he takes as “I don’t have to feel guilty about stealing (‘stealing’ because like. there was a lot more going onto that but in his head) my best friends girlfriend anymore!” *head in the clouds from crazy ex girlfriend starts playing in the background*. Now I’m thinking about him potentially telling Blue about Adam and Ronan (since we never really see her learn about them so I think there are several ways that could have happened but one of them is through Gansey) and him framing it as Adam came out to me as gay and in love with Ronan, well first off I think Blue would be way more surprised about the latter part of that than the former, and she would also have a lot of different feelings about this revelation.

 First of all I think it would be the opposite of Gansey where she starts to feel More guilty re: their break up and wonders if saying he should kiss Gansey was homophobic of her (it wasn’t it was extremely funny and cool of her, imo), she also feels really bad that her first normal-ish relationship with a boy was with someone using her (which isn’t Not true for their relationship in a way, just not in the way she’s thinking of) and feels extra annoyed with Adam for the Ninos argument (which she should because he was out of line in that scene imo, even though I also love that scene because it’s hysterical to me for reasons I’ve previously addressed and I love when Bluedam are cunts especially to each other) now that she thinks he was never actually into her. But she doesn’t want to be homophobic, so I feel like Blue tries to be a bit Overly Nice to Adam after this for the rest of the school year and it really unnerves/scares him, and then Gansey on the other hand allows himself to be more overtly cunty with Adam than he ever has before during that time period which Also weirds Adam out but he puts it down to him going through a lot what with dying and all. This would actually explain some things about the dynamic shifts between trc and td3 if this happened… 

To be clear Blue is coming at this from the opposite end of background effecting world view from Gansey; unlike Gansey who doesn’t know he’s bi or that bisexuality exists Blue doesn’t know She is bi but does know bisexuality and polyamory exist because she grew up surrounded by it, in fact I’ve said it before but I think the reason Blue isn’t aware she’s bi is… well one reason is she hasn’t had many close relationships with girls her age who aren’t in her family due to not having had many friends growing up since she was largely othered/bullied and then grew an armor/self-isolated (I actually have a tentative headcanon that in addition to her being bullied for being generally different in her youth some of that bullying had a homophobic bent to it because of the way she dresses and what the psychics are associated with and it being Henrietta.. it just seems right, so I think that would be an influence also) but also more importantly, Orla would have been out as bisexual since she was in high school and Blue is a Contrarian tm and Can Not have the same sexuality as Orla. Just on principle. She did feel jealous sometimes watching Orla go on dates with boys and girls but put that down to just general she-can-kiss-people-without-fear-of-murder-lips-and-I-can’t jealousy. Also I feel like Gansey might be able to grasp bi women more than bi men because of a) unfortunate tropes around that time b) the 300 fox way women c) Possibly Helen who I think could be sapphic but whether or not she’s sapphic definitely thinks Gansey is gay, this is textually canon, and definitely wants Gansey to be covert about it won’t go into this more / putting a pin in that for now. But anyway I think both Blue and Gansey would be more likely to consider the other being bi than themselves, is the thing I was getting at there. 

Anyway! I definitely think that after being told of Adam’s gayness Blue immediately understands that Adam was in love with Gansey based on all of the first two books when thinking back, Gansey on the other hand does not even consider the possibility of Adam ever being into him (at least not consciously, possibly deep DEEP down there’s some wondering but repression + plausible deniability + not wanting to seem arrogant (because I do think there’s a gray area sometimes between Gansey being oblivious about certain social situations vs him just being very used to compartmentalizing and prioritizing the quest) keep this out of conscious thought). So I think both Blue and Gansey need an outlet to talk through some of their Adam feelings but know the other can’t do that for them, which leads to (not to self plug but! This might be a scene that comes up in my ‘Reading TRB’ fic at some point… since I am playing with some intentional parallels between Sarchengsey and Bluedansey there, or at least that’s the intention in the mess of everything I have going on there) them separately gabbing to Henry about their feelings re: their situationship break ups, the shifting group dynamics with Pynch etc. and I think their accounts of the whole mess are Very different so Henry keeps getting more confused the more he listens to them, he doesn’t even know if one of them dated Adam or neither of them or both and it’s very frustrating but also intriguing for him he just wants to know everything (and he has some additional context from his Gansey stalking which should be … an interesting comparison point). 

Also when Gansey learns what bisexuality he immediately goes ‘I realized something about Adam!’ Henry, simultaneously expecting this and also wary: what about him? Gansey: He only told me that he loved Ronan he didn’t tell me he never liked Blue, Adam must be bisexual that means he must have been in love with Blue because who wouldn’t be that means I’m a horrible awful person and don’t deserve to live 😭😭 Henry, under his breath: goddamnit I can’t believe I’ve been trying to fuck you Gansey: what?? Henry: __ 

this was a fun thank you!

tagging a couple other blogs who I hope will enjoy my insane spiral, at least a lil: @immaterial-pearl @crimeronan

[crashing-all-modes]

UPDATE ON THE RAVEN CYCLE SCULPTURE!!

Sorry for such a long wait for the update. It was my last two weeks of school, and MAN, OH MAN, was it stressful for homework!!

Okay, so first of all, this is a long update with lots of pictures!!! (I’m going to make a TLDR version for anybody who doesn’t want to hear me yap, LOL)!

Once again, no spoilers if you have thoughts please!

As some of you may know, I had a project for my 3D design class where we had to pick a book and then create a sculpture out of the book (it can be anything, a scene from the book, a feeling you got while reading it, symbolism and so on). The one rule of the assignment is the pages of the book have to be the most prominent part of the design. So I was allowed to paint it, draw on it, and use whatever I saw fit as long as the pages of the book were included and the most prominent!!

For my project I decided to do the raven boys as tarot cards using the major arcana.

I’m gonna break this up into sections so it's easy to navigate!

Making the Hand

So funny story, I thought this project was due two weeks ago and spent all night (stayed up till 6am) working on it, only to wake up at 8am to find out it was due the following week. AH. So here’s what I did that night:

Dw, the hand looks way better after I had more time to work on it; I used about… 4 jumbo sticks of hot glue to attach it to the board? You can pick this up by the hand and use it as a weapon, and it will stay attached.

Building The Base Tarot Card

I made all 5 cards with 2 pieces: one large piece, which would be the back of the card, and another smaller piece, which would act as the part for the character to be on. I made them out of cardboard, so there’s definition.

Back Piece

I carved into the cardboard these small little triangles which was for the gold foil I planned on using! To cover the back pieces, I ripped up pages into uneven pieces and mod-podged them on there (because glue itself made the pages translucent).

Front Piece

The smaller pieces were very important when creating the cards because I used full pages from the book. I picked very specific moments in the book that helped to relate both the character and their card!

Ronan

This is the page where Ronan first "finds" Chainsaw. His card is The Moon, which deals with supernatural elements and visions, so I figured it would be a perfect page to use. Plus, it was one of my favourite Ronan moments!

Gansey

Originally, I wanted to use the page where Gansey recounted his near-death experience with the bees, but I must've used the page by accident because I couldn't find it ANYWHERE?? I opted for this page instead, because this is another instance where Gansey looked death in the eye and scared it off (his card is The Hanged Man).

Blue

I decided to use Blue for The Lovers card because I felt the irony of it was too fitting. I used the page where the reader learns about Blue's fate to kill her true love just by kissing him. The design for her card is so evil (if you keep reading, you'll see it), but it's good.

Noah

(Spoilers) If you've gotten this far, I'm hoping you've at least read the first book. Noah's card is Death, which is... very fitting for obvious reasons AND for the context of the card!! I decided to go with one of the craziest moments in the book when they find out Noah's a ghost. It's perfect for the Death card... and IT EVEN MENTIONS THE DEATH CARD ON THIS PAGE, WHICH I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL I WAS GLUING IT ONTO THE CARDBOARD!!

Adam

Adam is my favourite in the book and I had so many moments to pick from for his tarot card. Ultimately, I picked the scene where he and Whelk are having a face-off, and all MAGIC IS BREAKING LOSE BECAUSE HE'S THE MAGICIAN (as I've been told by many sources, I still have only read the first book)!!

After I glued all of the pages onto the smaller pieces of cardboard, I dyed them with food coloring!! I had no idea this would work, but thanks to YouTube, it worked so much better than trying to paint, and the colours turned out amazing!!

From left to right on the top row: Ronan, Noah (before tea wash), Adam, Gansey and the bottom one is Blue's!

Here's Noah's after being tea stained, I wanted his to look like it was old and worn, like it was lost in the earth. To make it blotchy, I used the actual tea bag and blotted it on the card like crazy.

I then went on to dye WAY MORE PAGES. It's surprisingly fun.

The Tarot Cards (Roughs)

So, for each tarot card, I created designs, trying to implement the original while making it my own in relation to the character. All of these are sketches, and I honestly might make them real pieces in the future!!

Blue

UGH. I think hers and Noah's might be my favourite designs (I'm very biased tho because I love skulls lol). Each card has an earthy theme, I included lots of flowers and branches!

Adam

Adam's is the closest to the OG tarot card, because I felt like it was so iconic I couldn't change much to the design. That's probably why his is my least favourite design LOL.

Gansey

Ngl, I really like the symbolism on this one. If you were to pull it in reverse it would be Gansey with the crown floating above his head, like it's his and he's close to reaching his goal.

Noah

OKAY, BUT LIKE GUYS, THIS IS AHGSSGSGHSH. Like???? I love him so much. I put him in a saint pose, like those you see sculptures in churches posing in or paintings of saints. But I love him so much.

Ronan

I love the vibe his card gives off. It's very contemplative and moody, just like him.

I love how all of the designs turned out, but I unfortunately only had time to make one, Ronan's!

Ronan's Card

To make Ronan's cutout, I cut pieces of different stained pages into the shapes I needed (like his shirt and his head), and I then drew on it with an ink pen. It was really difficult to make everything the correct size because of the way I did his card, so this alone took me an hour to do. Think of him like a paper dress-up doll, LOL.

THE FINAL

FINALLY HOLY CRAP. I'm running out of photo room for the post, so I'll make it brief here but post more on a different thread!!

Anyway, I'm going to make all of them into cards now that school's over, and I'll update y'all when I'm done!!

I just wanna give a really big shoutout to everyone who helped me decide which tarot cards to give to each character, especially @screechin-outloud! They went into so much depth without spoiling the book, and I APPRECIATE YOU!! I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!!

And if you made it down this far, thank you for reading all of this!! :)

[clotpolesonly]

Surfin' On A Sound Wave, Swingin' Through The Stars

halloween fluff posted an hour after halloween is over because i didn't get the wild hair to write this fic until 10:30pm?? it's more likely than you think!!! | Bluesey | Pynch | Gen | 1.8k | Halloween | Couples Costumes | Banter | Fluff | (also on AO3)

.

“How much did Matthew have to beg before you dressed up like that?”

Ronan’s scowl was far less intimidating—not that Gansey was ever cowed by it, truthfully—in light of the large arrow drawn in blue paint on his shaved head. The bright orange tablecloth he wore slung, toga-style, over one shoulder only served to undermine the expression further as he climbed out of the BMW and slammed the door behind him. His smile retained its edge, though, at least.

“Four solid minutes of the word ‘please’, repeated over and over again, before Declan offered to pay my last two speeding tickets if I would just do it and make him shut up.”

Gansey fell in at Ronan’s side as he strode up the car-crowded driveway, the open front door of a modest two story house their destination. 

“I’m surprised you took that offer,” he said. “I would’ve expected you to make Matthew plead for eight minutes more, even louder, just to spite Declan.”

“Declan’s face when he realized I had more speeding tickets that he hadn’t heard about yet was worth caving early.” Ronan kicked the tires of a rusty Buick and turned to look Gansey up and down. “What are you supposed to be, anyway? An aspiring yacht captain who misplaced his yacht?”

Gansey leveled him with an unimpressed look. “These are just my regular clothes and you know it.” He ignored Ronan’s unrepentant sniggering in favor of checking Blue’s text again. “Jane said she has a couple’s costume planned for us but wouldn’t tell me what it is, only that I should just come to the party in my favorite outfit.”

“Maybe she’ll be in bright-ass green and you can be highlighters together.”

“Ha very ha. Is Adam here yet?”

“Fuck if I know. Let’s find out.”

Ronan took all three porch steps in one long stride. Gansey followed in a more traditional manner. The house was loud and crowded with people he mostly didn’t recognize—Mountain View students, presumably, rather than Aglionby ones. Ronan was already halfway down the hall, no thought spared for sticking together, but his costume was brightly colored enough that Gansey had no trouble keeping track of him in the throng.

By the time he caught up to Ronan in what he assumed to be the living room, Gansey had located a drink and Ronan had located his boyfriend.

“Adam! I see you too went the couple’s costume route.”

The look Adam gave him in response to this statement said quite plainly that he disagreed with how Gansey was defining his terms, and that he didn’t have much respect for Gansey’s particular definition. But, as with Ronan earlier, his costume robbed the expression of its usual verve. Not even Adam Parrish could pull off cutting condescension while wearing a headband with a pair of tall paper machine lemur ears attached to them.

“I just got off a long shift at Boyd’s,” Adam told him, “and I’ve got an early shift at the factory tomorrow morning. This was the least effort I could put in and still justifiably call it a costume.”

“Still more effort than Dick put in,” Ronan pointed out, inviting himself into Adam’s space. Adam shifted easily to accommodate him, the two of them pressing together like lodestones. As one, they eyed Gansey’s favorite yellow sweater. Their judgment was more powerful in tandem.

Gansey flushed. “Blue has my costume!“ he said. “I didn’t just opt not to participate in the holiday. I am not the Ebenezer Scrooge of Halloween. I’m simply following instructions.”

Ronan made a whip-crack noise, as if he didn’t ask how high whenever Adam said to jump. As if he didn’t fall all over himself to fulfill Adam’s every desire. As if he didn’t currently have Adam’s hand in the back pocket of his jeans.

The quirk of Adam’s eyebrow and the wry tilt to his smile indicated that he, at least, saw the irony here. He didn’t feel the need to comment, though. Instead, he took a sip of his own drink and then used it to gesture back toward the hallway. 

“Blue’s in the kitchen getting a beer,” he said. “Should be right back.”

Gansey perked up. “You’ve seen her?”

“I’m not telling you her costume.”

Gansey perked back down. “Why ever not?”

“Because it’ll be awful funny this way, and after working for ten hours on a holiday, I really feel like I deserve that.”

In lieu of disagreeing—because he couldn’t exactly argue the fact that Adam worked too hard and deserved a good laugh once in a while, even if it was at his dear beleaguered friend’s expense—Gansey downed the drink some girl in the hall had helpfully passed to him on his way in. He thought it might be rum and coke. Ronan could probably tell just by sniffing it, but Ronan was busy nuzzling his boyfriend’s ear; the real one, not either of the paper mache ones.

Gansey had just about made the decision to leave his friends to their canoodling and get himself another drink when a pair of very familiar arms wound around his waist from behind.

“Jane! Finally!”

He, regretfully, dislodged her embrace. There would be plenty of time for hugging after the great mystery of their costume situation had been resolved to his satisfaction. He thought he heard Ronan smother a laugh as he turned around, but that wasn’t important.

Blue looked radiant. She always did, regardless of what she wore, but this outfit in particular clearly had her pleased as punch. It was a purple dress of a rather more intact nature than most dresses Gansey had seen her don, with buttons up the front and a rounded white collar. More in line with her usual eclectic style, the dress was patterned with…well, a variety of things. Some were ironed-on patches, others looked like she might have embroidered them, and yet more seemed to be painted right onto the fabric. Gansey could make out planets and stars, light bulbs, a battery, test tubes, some snowflakes, several small animals, and was that a piece of cheese?

Her dark hair was even messier than usual, curls pulled back into a tiny puff of a ponytail. All of her hair clips tonight were orange. Her earrings were in the shape of sandwiches.

“Let me guess,” Gansey said gamely. “The delightful Ms. Frizzle?”

Blue’s nose scrunched up when she laughed. He’d been helpless to the charm of it since the first time he’d been granted the privilege of seeing it. Now was no different. He couldn’t muster up even a smidgen of annoyance at having been mystifyingly denied foreknowledge of this entirely benign costume, not with that adorable scrunched up nose on display. It did still beg a question, though.

“You said this was a couple’s costume,” he pointed out. “What exactly am I meant to—”

Blue shoved him in the chest, which struck Gansey as awfully rude and unwarranted. But she was still smiling, her bottom lip tucked neatly between her teeth in a way that meant she was particularly—and mischievously—proud of herself for something. Frowning, Gansey followed her gaze down to where she had made contact with him.

There, stuck to his chest, was what appeared to be a magnet. Or, more accurately, a decal of a magnet. One of the big, red, U-shaped ones, recreated here in thick red and gray felt that adhered quite happily to the old-fuzzy fabric of his sweater.

Gansey blinked at it, uncomprehending, until Blue reached out and stuck something else to him: a blue star on his left pectoral. Then followed a lightbulb, pressed against his stomach, and a little green planet attached to his shoulder. Blue’s smile grew with every felt cutout she pulled out of the pocket of her dress. It wasn’t until the word “wahoo!” was applied over his collarbone that Gansey finally made the connection.

He closed his eyes and reminded himself that he loved this girl with all his heart. Then he said, “Jane. Am I the bus?”

Ronan laughed so hard, he needed to sit down. Adam was red in the face, his lemur ears knocked askew, bracing himself on the back of the loveseat Ronan had claimed as his own. Even some of the partygoers whom Gansey didn’t recognize were tittering appreciatively. One of them actually had her phone out to take a picture.

But none of that was important. Because Blue had her head thrown back, her own laughter lighting her up like a thousand watt bulb. The nose was scrunched. And there was nothing Gansey could do in the face of that except purse his lips against the smile he could feel forming entirely against his will. There was very little dignity to be found in this position, but he was determined to keep hold of at least a shred or two.

That lasted right up until Blue grabbed him by the collar and tugged him down for a kiss. Against his lips, she said, “You’re the most magical bus on the block.”

“I don’t know that there’s a lot of competition for that title.”

“I’ll fight you for it,” Ronan tried to say through a renewed spate of giggles.

Gansey flipped him off without turning to look. Adam guffawed; at least it wasn’t only at Gansey’s expense that he could derive pleasure.

Blue said, “I wouldn’t want you as my magic school bus anyway, Lynch.”

“No, you’d rather ride around in Gansey.” Ronan clawed himself halfway up the back of the couch to point from her to him and back again. “In Gansey! In—!”

He was clearly attempting to say something else, but he was so thoroughly overcome with hysterics that he couldn’t manage to form the words. Knowing him as well as he did, Gansey would hazard a guess that it had something to do with pegging. Adam, whose laughter had reached the point of silent wheezing and oxygen deprivation, was weakly batting in Ronan’s direction as a desperate plea for him to stop. His lemur ears had fallen off entirely.

Gansey turned back to Blue. “Do you see what you’ve done?”

“What I did,” she said, smug as anything, “is win at Halloween.”

“I wasn’t aware the holiday was a competition.”

“Everything is a competition if you’re winning.”

A laugh of his own—overwhelmingly fond and entirely irresistible—bubbled up in Gansey’s chest. He tugged Blue in to wrap his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her messy mop of hair. “You’re a menace, do you know that?”

Blue snuggled contentedly into his embrace, patting his back, and said, “I know. But you love me anyway, don’t you?”

“That depends. Did you just stick another magnet back there?”

“Which answer gets me a ‘yes’?”

Either. Both. Truthfully, there was no answer on this earth that could earn her anything else. Not even when she had dressed him up as a semi-sentient shape-shifting vehicle from a children’s cartoon. Gansey figured the indignity was a small price to pay to be here, with Blue’s arms around him, surrounded by his friends’ happiness.

Still.

“Next year, I’m picking the costumes.”

[noyoucannotpushthevoid]

Another one

"'I know too much, [Gansey] knows too much' (Blue)  'I have a cold' (Henry)"  "Their nostrils are probably so large" - Henry about horses "You're heavier than a 3" - Ronan to Chainsaw "'You could hiccup if you want' (Blue to Ronan)  'I vomit down his back' (Ronan being carried while drunk)"  "I hate fucking bees" - Gansey "Schrodinger's gravity" - Dream logic "You tie a pretty mean lasso" - Ronan after teaching Matthew how to "My boots are not made for walking" - Henry in fucking Demonias "He's a player, you expect him to read???" - about K "[Ronan] is a little well done" - Ronan after spending a day in the sun   "I don't think my dad will be relevant" - Adam "'He thinks you're a rat or something'  'No that is a wholeass [person]'" - About Blue "[Chainsaw] is Buzz Lightyear, [s]he glides with style"  "Mountain climbing simulator" - Henry chanting to get through an arduous hike with Gansey and Blue "You can't be dehydrated without your consent, just say no!" - Ronan "Which is heavier: One [Chainsaw the raven], One gallon of milk" "Do you do anything or are you just going to say 'that's crazy' and continue" - Blue to Adam "She's soy jack pointing at the door" - Calla kicking the boys out  "Feels awfully flaccid for a straw" - Ronan "I'm going to be immortalized in lego" - Henry  "Curiosity will kill the [Gansey]"   "'Correct me if I'm wrong...' (Henry)  'Okay, you're wrong' (Ronan)"  "Geometry got weird on this one" - Hennessy about the Lace "People keep their hips as sentimental value" - Henry "...and not like the other dungeons" - about Jesse Dudley’s cave "I'm not holy, but boy can I set stuff on fire" - K  "Turbo dead" - about Noah "Are we king?" - Ronan after he and Adam conjoin souls or whatever

[adamprrishcycle]

In 2016 I wrote a pynch fic where ronan accidentally pulls a version of adam out of his dreams who is a manifestation of his own self hatred (oh yeah I was deep in 2016) and just like my fic about adam’s dads funeral that I rewrote, I thought I might try and rewrite this idea too. The beginning is below the cut, let me know if you’d read more

Adam Parrish thought he looked ugly. His face was jagged and hungry, nose crooked and mouth downturned. His eyes looked hollow, despite the light reflecting from the large windows of Monmouth Manufacturing, the skin below them clinging to his skull heavy with lack of sleep and tinted in twin shadows. The freckles on his cheeks were a thousand pinpricks marking every time he had thought about leaving and every time the unbearable summers had suffocated him and kept him here. He wore blue jeans and a green T-shirt that Adam recognised.

Before Adam Parrish’s eyes, Adam Parrish’s face twisted into a grimace and he felt a chill so deep in his bones that he thought he would never feel warm again. It was like a gut punch.

He hadn’t looked at himself in a mirror all day and now he wondered if the Adam Parrish in front of him was a perfect reflection. He knew the answer but he denied it silently, looking down at his school uniform. The faded secondhand jumper, the trousers that were just a little too short in the ankle.

“It’s you,” the Adam standing before him said. His expression gave way to a mixture of realisation and disbelief like he had known of Adam’s existence but he wasn’t sure he would ever come face to face with him.

It would be easy to leave now, to blink and rub at his eyes and turn away. Maybe he was tired, he had been working more shifts than usual recently and his homework had been keeping him busy in any free time he had left.

“It’s really you,” the other Adam said to him. “You look just like me.”

Adam felt himself backing away. He felt the need to put space between himself and the other Adam. The couch was already between them and Gansey’s unmade bed on the floor and now he stepped carefully around the cardboard Henrietta that took up a third of the floor space.

“Where are the others?” Adam demanded, eyes darting to Ronan’s bedroom door which stood open.

Ronan.

Maybe Adam wasn’t hallucinating, maybe this Adam did exist. Maybe he existed like Chainsaw existed.

“They’re not here,” the other Adam said and he frowned. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be here either.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adam asked, the words coming out harsh.

The other Adam smirked. “Lynch didn’t want you to know about me. I said you deserved to know. Gansey took his side,” he paused, “obviously.”

Adam felt a flicker of anger at his words, the way the other Adam talked about them like he knew them, or the fact that his friends had so far kept this from him, he wasn’t sure. If Ronan had in fact dreamt another Adam into existence, it was definitely Adam’s business to know.

There was no way to contact Gansey or Ronan, neither himself nor, he assumed, this other Adam had a phone. The large room had been warmed by the sun burning in through the south-facing windows all day long, so Adam was sure Noah wasn’t present anywhere in the old factory.

“Why are you here?” The other Adam asked and Adam recognised the way his fingers found his deaf ear subconsciously, worrying at it briefly before letting his hand fall back to his side. It made him feel sick, to see himself as others saw him. Hostile and vulnerable like a frightened wild animal.

He was here because he hadn’t seen his friends over the weekend and neither of them had showed up at school today. Adam had a rare night off until early the following morning and while he had homework to do, he thought this might be more important.

“My friends live here,” he said, shortly, refusing to explain himself. “And you?”

The other Adam spread his hands and shrugged. “How should I know?”

“He dreamt you,” Adam stated, challenging the other Adam to deny it. His mind flickered with images from the day Ronan had dreamt a copy of himself and both of them had watched it slowly choke on its own blood in St Agnes catholic church.

The other Adam nodded slowly. “It’s about you.”

“No,” Adam said, “it’s about him. There must be a reason he dreamt you, he— he wouldn’t just bring you out for nothing.”

That day at St Agnes, Ronan had dreamt the copy of himself to die in his place. And he’d been angry with Adam for being there as it happened, for watching him watch himself die. He hadn’t just been angry, he’d been furious and in turn, Adam’s own anger had flared up. It was one of the worst fights they’d ever had and even now it sat in the pit of Adam’s stomach, heavy as a rock each time he thought about it.

“It’s kind of sick, isn’t it?” The other Adam said.

“What?”

“That he dreamt me, and you had no say in it whatsoever,” the other Adam continued. “Who does he think he is? Some kind of God? He’s an arrogant prick.”

“He will have had a reason,” Adam said firmly, though the other Adam’s words resonated with him. If Ronan could dream anything— anyone, he must have some kind of God complex.

Adam could picture him, his sharp, easy smirk, his blue eyes that when turned on Adam, made him feel overexposed. His short temper and his hyenas laugh. The way he acted like he didn’t care about anything, but recently Adam had come to realise that he cared a whole lot. The smell of trees, of a misty forest and a rainstorm rolling in.

“I don’t know what Gansey sees in him,” the other Adam said and he rounded the couch, sitting down heavily.

“‘Course you do,” Adam said, looking down at his shoes, at the model Henrietta, then over at the window. The sun was beginning to set, heading towards the blue mountains.

[cheeeryos]

fanfic wrapped 2022

*yes, I’m using the same joke as last year

🔥❄️ curl up by the fire with a nice warm fic! ❄️🔥

here is a non-comprehensive list of a few of my favorite things that were written this past year:

be afraid to know your neighbors and to die by deathlessaphrodite/@seashell-hawke​​

Tonight, he thinks: let Gansey be mad, because this is the best thing he’s ever done. Dreaming Chainsaw, and punching Adam’s fucker of a father square in the jaw - if Ronan Lynch dies tonight, he’ll leave those actions in the world, and they’ll have been worth it.

are you wild like me? by earthquaker/@behindtheatlantic​​

Eve’s reflection stared back, unsure. She’d sectioned her long hair into two tight braids in the tiny bathroom of her St Agnes flat and now she stood, as if on a precipice, with the scissors poised in her hand. Ritual sacrifice had been performed with less hesitation. The fluorescent light buzzed incessantly and judgementally.

kick start my rock and rollin’ heart by emmerrr/@emmerrr​​

Adam reached his hand out automatically, and Ronan dropped a guitar pick into it. Adam brought it closer to see; it was metallic green and swirly, the letters FF (presumably for Firefly Forest) in black capitals printed on one side.

He looked back at Ronan quizzically, and Ronan shrugged. “For helping me. And for like, having good taste or whatever. Go catch your bus.” With that, he turned and walked back toward the venue with his hands in his pockets, leaving Adam to stare after him.

fwb by flightspath/@flightspathfic​​

Ronan’s laughing at Adam, happier than he’s been in weeks, and he pauses for dramatic effect before he says in a stage whisper: “I'm good at it, in case you were wondering."

Adam buries his face in a pillow. "I don't need to know these things," he mutters into the fabric.

He does, of course, he wants to; he’s just trying to say the thing you’re supposed to say.

Your Lips the First Disaster by flightspath/@flightspathfic​​

Adam can feel it, even now. He watches Ronan lean against the fridge and pictures kissing him, hot and slow. It’s not the first time he’s thought about it; the first day they met, he thought about it. When they lock eyes, it’s heated, a crackling energy transfer. Ronan’s eyes flick down to his lips.

creeping in the streetlight by octocorn/@werewolffeelings​​

Now, Ronan can only watch, as if from the outside, with a kind of detached appreciation for what it might have made him feel, if he could feel fucking anything at all.

 Adam spits out, “You know, I don’t have to be here. I don’t want to be here. Would it kill you to be—human—for once?”

“It might.” Most days Ronan isn’t certain he’s human at all.

if you say the word by sleeptodream

Ronan knows the bubble’s going to burst eventually. He’s an everything, all the time kind of guy and Adam’s not big on commitment. He’ll say something that’ll scare Adam off, or Adam will decide he’s had enough, and that’ll be that. Car crash, death on impact. If Ronan was sensible he’d end it first, but he’s always gone all in on a betting hand. He’ll take his highs with his lows and reject the middle ground, always.

in the hot sun, searing, all day long by thelimetree

And as Ronan looked at him, Adam looked back, like he’d been looking back for seven months, longer. A sheen of sweat on Ronan’s torso gleamed, and the wings Ronan wore, large, black, and sleek, laid folded against his back. He was an archangel fallen from heaven to western Virginian remoteness, missing spear but not spite, and Adam couldn’t look away.

fics in progress:

if there’s still time I’ll choose the sun by solitarydreaming

“You know Latin?” He almost sounded impressed.

“I don’t know Greek, before you try testing me.” Adam looked around, subtly reading the front of one of the unopened letters. Ronan Lynch. There was a name he wouldn’t be forgetting.

“Now those guys,” Ronan was saying, “they knew how keep your attention. None of this moody Russian bullshit. They got straight to the good stuff.”

“The good stuff being violent, bloody war?”

“Or love and death.”

And Full As Much Heart. by unfortunatesideeffects

Ronan laughs, a brittle bark. “I am not, by any bloody definition of the word, ‘decent’.”

Adam folds his arms and keeps his gaze steady, “So you say, but I’ve seen no evidence of it.”

Laughing again – a wild, harshly-edged sound – Ronan drags his hands over his shaven scalp and twists them viciously together behind his neck. He tilts his head back, looking at the overcast sky and says softly, “It is lucky, Adam Parrish, that you cannot read my mind as clearly as you read those cards of yours. If you knew what I –” he shakes his head and sinks abruptly to sit on the edge of the terrace, bowing forward to rest his elbows on his knees, “No. I really don’t imagine you’d think me decent at all, if you knew what I dream of.”

[jhsjykwpdw]

angel baby by troye sivan is a pynch song: a comprehensive study

Ronan wrapped his arms around Adam, pinning Adam’s upper arms against him. He was contained. “Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit,” Ronan said into Adam’s hearing ear, and Adam’s body sagged against Ronan, chest heaving. His hands still jerked and strained to violence. He gasped, “You asshole,” but Ronan could hear how near tears he was.

Noah cackled and showed them the cassette. It boasted a handmade label marked with Ronan’s handwriting: PARRISH’S HONDAYOTA ALONE TIME. The other side was A SHITBOX SING-ALONG.

Adam had come for him. All this way. He had not given up. He had risked everything.

The choice was death or hurting Adam, which wasn’t much of a choice at all.

For that first summer, the Barns was paradise to Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish.

For a long time, it was paradise, and the dreaming was good.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that Ronan was looking at him, as he had been looking at him for months. Adam looked back, as he had been looking back for months. 

His mouth remembered Ronan Lynch’s. What was he doing? Ronan was not something to be played with. He didn’t think he was playing.

It was Ronan, unperformed. No. Ronan, unprotected. This tone reminded Adam of that unshielded smile from before. Don’t play, he told himself. This is not a game. But it didn’t feel like a game, if he was being honest. 

What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.

Instead, though, he just stood there and watched it approach. Even at the last minute, as he heard the rain pounding the grass flat, he just stood there. He closed his eyes and let the storm soak him. That was this kiss.

The proper truth struck Ronan: The plants had not saved their lives. Adam Parrish had saved their lives.

His head rested miserably on Ronan’s shoulder, everything shaking, standing only because Ronan did not allow him to sink.

Adam could not decide if this was the worst thing that had happened to him, or if it felt that way because he had been so recently and senselessly happy that the comparison was making it so.

Ronan felt that he had caught happiness without meaning to. He could do anything.

He just lived in the moment with Ronan instead.

And that was before Ronan even got to worrying if Adam made it to the afterlife at all, with his agnostic tendencies.

Ronan hadn’t thought much about the future.

Adam felt Ronan’s eyes glance off him and away, his disinterest practiced but incomplete.

Adam had recently realized Ronan was a weakness to his ambition, since it was harder to work with two moving pieces rather than one, but he couldn’t talk himself out of it. He tried each night he was alone in the apartment over St. Agnes, and he failed every time he saw Ronan again.

They sprawled on the living room sofa and Adam studied the tattoo that covered Ronan’s back: all the sharp edges that hooked wondrously and fearfully into each other. “Unguibus et rostro,” Adam said.

Ronan crossed his arms to wait, just looking. At Adam’s fine cheekbones, his furrowed fair eyebrows, his beautiful hands, everything washed out by the furious light. He had memorized the shape of Adam’s hands in particular: the way his thumb jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the roads of the prominent veins; the large knuckles that punctuated his long fingers. In dreams Ronan put them to his mouth.

Adam, as a secretive creature, understood secrets.

Ronan’s second secret was Adam Parrish.

Adam, a secretive animal, was acutely tuned to other people’s secrets.

Gansey met her eyes, and then the Dog’s, in the rearview mirror. "Adam keeps his secrets pretty close."

Adam would have never pried — secrets were secrets — but he couldn’t deny that he’d been curious.

But Adam knew everything, both because he’d been there when certain things had gone down, and because Ronan shared everything with him.

Every minute that the Barns had been his all of the time he’d spent here alone or with Adam, dreaming and scheming. Home, home, home. 

He was so raw and electric that it was hard to believe that he was awake. Normally it took sleep to strip him to this naked energy. But this was not a dream. This was his life, his home, his night.

Seeing the two pairs tumbled together, a nameless feeling had suddenly overwhelmed Ronan. It was about Adam’s gloves here, but it “was also Adam’s jacket tossed on a dining room chair, his soda can forgotten on the foyer table, him somewhere tossed with equal comfort in the Barns, his presence commonplace enough that he was not having to perform or engage with Ronan at all times. He was not dating Ronan; he was living in Ronan’s life with him.

This was like walking the line between dream and sleep. The night-sharp balance of being asleep enough to dream and awake enough to remember what he wanted. He knew Adam had figured out how he felt. But he didn’t know if he could step off this knife-slender path without destroying what he had.

Ronan sometimes dreamt of Adam too, the latter boy sullen and elegant and fluently disdainful of dream-Ronan’s clumsy attempts to communicate.

Adam was in the dream, too; he traced the tangled pattern of the ink with his finger. He said, “Scio quid hoc est.” As he traced it father and father down on the bare skin of Ronan’s back, Ronan himself disappeared entirely. 

His feelings for Adam were an oil spill; he’d let them overflow and now there wasn’t a damn place in the ocean that wouldn’t catch fire if he dropped a match. 

[lizpaige]

Working on final chapter of Married at First Sight au. Enjoy a snippet belowwwwww

[time jump]

“Do we have to watch this?” Ronan grumbled into Adam’s shoulder. 

“Yes!” Noah leaned over to snatch the large bowl of popcorn from them and grabbed a handful. 

Adam’s cheeks were bright red when he leaned over to press his lips to Ronan’s ear and whispered a promise that stopped his complaining almost immediately.

Their friends and family were strewn about the Barns living room, eyes fixed to the large flatscreen. They already finished watching the wedding episode and that was humiliating enough. Ronan didn’t remember whose idea it was to watch their season of Married at First Sight all together as a family, but whoever it was would hear from Ronan later. 

Declan and his wife Jordan were sharing an armchair. Declan looked, understandably, mortified at having to watch his brother and brother-in-law interviewed about their wedding with Orla’s suggestive eyebrow wiggling and expertly edited soundbites hinting toward a very different night than they actually had. Jordan constantly shouted her awes to the screen with lots of finger pointing. 

Matthew, Noah, Hennessy, and Henry, were making fun of Ronan, which was honestly fair play. Ronan looked sickly green in the first episode, nervous out of his skin, and had acted like an awkward, bumbling idiot. 

Gansey was beside them on the couch, Blue lying back against his chest, sitting between his legs. They were a disgustingly happy couple, but in the past year, Blue had said the same about Ronan and Adam. Ronan was too happy to really fight it anymore. 

Ronan and Adam were also sharing an armchair, squished together and constantly hiding their faces in each other’s necks and shoulders. And it was only episode one…

[veerbles]

thoughts about dream thieves (and some predictions!)

After probably almost a decade of thinking to myself, I’m an adult who’d like to read more and also enjoys YA, I should finally pick up TRC, I finally picked up TRC. I finished Raven Boys and immediately started Dream Thieves, so I didn’t pause to gather my thoughts on the first one, but here I am now. Ready to unleash several K’s of words by using my limited information to analyze characters and make some predictions that may or may not come true.

• I really enjoy the whole magical-realism, bordering-on-alternate-dimensions theme, but I’m SO SORRY Cabeswater gives me the creeps. I can read context clues and infer from the fact that Blue and Gansey both love it that it’s not meant to be sinister? Probably? But like, talking forests and time loops and magical possessions have, in the history of literature, revealed ulterior motives. I’m mostly side-eyeing the way Adam’s sacrifice to Cabeswater immediately derailed his life and mental stability. It might just be an Adam thing. It’s probably an Adam thing. But like, if I were these kids I’d be a biiiit more wary of the scary time-defying magical land I stumbled upon.

• The sudden emphasis on how time is circular kind of came out of nowhere. There was definitely a point made in the first book about how time doesn’t flow the same way inside Cabeswater, but mid-second book the nonlinearity of time was suddenly a huge thing and all the Sargent seers made a point of how every prophecy is something that both happened already and hasn’t happened yet. I’m totally down with some time-fuckery, but I would’ve liked some more build-up. Also, is this meant to play into Blue’s prophecy? Adam’s visions? Gansey’s fate? Glendower’s fate?

• I was preparing myself for a long, drawn-out love triangle B-plot, and I’m glad it didn’t happen. I couldn’t tell if I missed some subtext and Blue’s intense attraction to Adam faded before their fight at his room, or if it was a direct result of it, but I like that their thing (he called her his girlfriend and I was kind of like… is she? Who established that?) was short and not too well-developed. I think it mostly served as a lesson that Blue can influence her fate, but she can’t run from it (“Why couldn’t it be Adam?”). 

• Also, I think the marketing of the first book did it a HUGE disservice. I have nothing against romance as a main plot and maybe I would have enjoyed that as well, but adventure and the found family trope have a much stronger pull. Was really glad the romantic relationships aren’t really the main focus (at least yet?).

• On the same note, these books are so far really good with show not tell. The numerous unspoken hints about the Blue/Gansey attraction did such a good job making me root for them. The slow progression from Gansey caring an inordinate amount about how Blue views him, to Blue dedicating large chunks of her time analyzing him and trying to figure out all of his layers, to Gansey definitely growing aware of his feelings but not doing anything explicit because of Adam… The boat scene with Orla was pure comedy, lmao. Tell me you’re 16/17 years old without telling me you’re 16/17 years old.

• The Blue/Adam “break up” scene was so good because it evoked true emotions in me. I think a reasonable percentage of teenage girls were once The One Girl in a group of guys, and Blue’s feelings of being treated differently because she’s a girl really hit right where it hurt. I think Adam’s inability to understand that she wants to be his friend first and a love interest later was so real. I also do think that this scene brought up multiple points and maybe Blue’s character would have benefitted from addressing each of them separately, even just in her own head. She feels left out because she’s a girl, and she feels he only views her as a Girl and not as a friend; she’s wary of his anger issues and feels she doesn’t know him; she has feelings for Gansey; she has an ominous prophecy hanging over her head. Ultimately, her saying he’s not “the one” is what hurt him most, because she hit him directly in the insecurities, but it wasn’t really the most interesting or impactful point. Who is Blue Sargent and what does she really want in a relationship (or in general?)

• I have a hot take, but don’t kill me for this. …Adam gives off real Peter Pettigrew vibes. I’M SO SORRY. I really hope he gets more character development later on, because right now he’s straight on the path to evil villain. Or, okay, maybe he veered off that path after his talk with Persephone and their quest to fix the ley line, but for a minute there I was like… My guy, I get where you’re coming from, but you’re slowly gnawing on the leg that you used to stand on. It’s okay to be mad at the world because you were handed a worse hand of cards, and it’s okay to want to climb your way up to prove your own worth. But a minute ago your whole point was that you HAD worth, and now you’re acting out because you feel worthless? Adam’s getting eaten away by his insecurities and thinking/saying/doing really uncool things to his friends, and it’s just Not It. At this point of time, I personally would not have made him Secret-Keeper of the house I’m hiding in.

• Direct follow up: Honestly? Gansey should punch someone. As a treat. Gansey certainly has flaws, but he’s also certainly the most self-aware of the whole bunch. He is continuously harder on himself than anyone else is hard on him, and trying to make things right, and he’s kind of getting stepped on by his best friends. Adam stole his most prized possession and sneaked away to do exactly what Gansey didn’t want to do on GANSEY’S search quest, and then took the offer of networking but spit it back in Gansey’s face, and admitted he’s going to fight Gansey for Glendower’s favor because he thinks he deserves it more. Ronan ALSO stole his most prized possession after letting Gansey clean up his messes, and didn’t even really apologize? Like, it’s somehow okay because after he stole it he wrecked it and then dreamed it back? Nah dude. It wasn’t okay you took it to begin with! Now, I definitely think it’s not a black-and-white situation; Adam brings up plenty of good points in his arguments, and Ronan, to the best of my recollection, never asked to be cleaned up after. They’re both super traumatized and Gansey chose to stick by their sides through that. But everybody else gets to lash out and make stupid decisions and I, personally, think Richard C. Gansey III should pull a teenage boy move and punch one of his best friends. Which one is up to him. The punch can be metaphorical.

• This book focused mainly on Ronan and Adam’s journeys, and I have to say I loved the night terrors as a symbol of self-loathing. But I remain unsure about Ronan himself. Unlike Adam I don’t think he’s doing villain-y things, but he’s definitely doing very normal teenaged self-destructive things. And that’s fine. It's expected. But it’s also not really productive to self-acceptance? Which he somehow reached at least partially by the end of this book anyway? My point being, Ronan kind of lost it when Gansey was gone and went on a weird dreamer-bender and took all kinds of suspicious drugs and made all kinds of bad decisions, and I expected that to have ramifications. He didn’t really face any of his self-hatred or made efforts to be a better friend. He did kind of face (literally) his grief over his father, which is obviously huge, but I would have liked him to take down some of those walls, be vulnerable, apologize? Face some of his obvious inner homophobia? Anything before that wholesome ending. I guess I just stay hopeful that it’d happen in the next two books.

• On that note, the whole goddamn Lynch family needs therapy. What the fuck. Hated Declan significantly less than the last book, but all three of them should get some professional help for their asses. Their mother is a dream? Ronan’s new friend’s mother is dating his father’s murderer?? Ronan’s dad kicked him out of his home on the heels of his tragic death to teach him some lesson about… dreaming??? So much shit happened in this book. However: loved the idea of Ronan having an actual parent and functioning sibling relationship now. Hopefully, that would do some good for everybody involved.

• Very happy at the subtle queer themes and foreshadowing that led up to Ronan’s very understated sexuality revelation. I could smell it coming from a mile away without it being spelled out for me, which is good: it means it was written into his character really well. I was both thrilled and kind of confused by some of the Adam/Ronan hints in this book, though. Ronan… slept on the floor by Adam’s bed…? ("Surely he would wake up soon and find himself [...] lying on the floor beside Adam’s bed at St. Agnes.") This was literally mentioned in one line and then never again. And he doesn’t spend too much time thinking of Adam, but somehow the epilogue still explicitly states that his secret is Adam and not his sexuality as a whole. I’m rooting for them, but I’ll need more convincing in later books that this apparent crush didn’t spring out of nowhere. 

• On the subject of themes I didn’t see coming, the redemption arc for The Gray Man with the gray morality surprised me. It’s not that I’ve never read or enjoyed books where this subject was explored, I just didn’t expect it to happen in this book series. It seems to me like so far every character we’re supposed to root for is very clearly that, and evil characters give off hints in advance. Gray Man definitely did some dubious things in this book, even if you disregard the killing itself, so I expected his ending to line up with that. I guess it still might? Truthfully I find the subject of responses to trauma and how it affects your moral compass very interesting, and I’m definitely into characters’ redemption arcs, but I just don’t know if romantic entanglement with a known dissociative killer is a smart thing for a mother of a sixteen-year-old. If the Gray Man drove away at the end and started a new, less-violent life, I’d be far less conflicted. But he very clearly stated his attachment to Henrietta, which just… leaves me mostly confused. 

• Speaking of, I love how a major theme of this odd little magical book is how different people handle childhood trauma (Adam, Ronan, Gray Man). No further notes, just love it.

• I also really like that adults are directly involved in this story, instead of being intentionally kept out of the loop like in most YA stories. In the majority of the YA books I’ve read I really felt like 70% of the problems could be solved by a whole ass grown up swooping in instead of letting a bunch of kids handle real life-endangering shit all by themselves. The 300 Fox Way women are certainly a specific breed of adults, but they are adults, and they do intervene when needed and are kept mostly informed. It’s a nice change of pace. 

• Going to quickly mention my only real point of criticism and then move on. The dialogue in this book isn’t very realistic, and the clear preference for dramatic chapter endings is a little excessive. I can forgive the dialogue issue, because it does help create the atmosphere that this isn’t a real place in the real world but a magical and intriguing town in some mystery land, but I don’t know if this is what the author actually intended. In every other way, the kids are all pretty well fleshed-out and realistic depictions of teenagers. But every time they open their mouths I think: this is not how a natural conversation sounds. And the dramatic chapter cliffhangers isn’t terrible, because it does keep my interest, but I think it’s fine to have a few chapters not ending with a dramatic one-liner, lol.

Predictions! 

Gansey is a reincarnation of Glendower’s. This is not a certain one, but if it’s not true I feel like it’s a missed opportunity. Gansey is constantly described as “both very old and very young”. He died, but mysteriously didn’t die. He has this connection to Glendower and for some reason connects his sense of self to him. It would tie in to the theme of nonlinear time. I think it could be a good ending for this journey, a la “the thing you were looking for was in yourself all along”.

Gansey answering with “That’s all there is” will have more meaning later on. It could be that dialogue thing again, but I found it to be a weird response in the context of that scene. Since I am of the firm belief that this is all heading to a Blue/Gansey kiss, Gansey dying and then undying, and Blue somehow walking him back down that corpse road, I feel like that quote could maybe tie in to that future scene.

Is Adam’s vision really “gone”? In the scene where Adam makes peace with his powers and returns to Cabeswater he remembers the vision from the dreaming tree and thinks: "That wasn’t going to happen now. He’d changed his future. He’d chosen a different way." And I simply can't help but think that that's just... too easy. Why mention the vision so many times if it's not going to happen now? On the one hand, it would be far more interesting if it did happen, but it had a whole different connotation to it than Adam can currently imagine (he specifically says Gansey is dying, not dead.) On the other hand, it does seem like that vision fits in the reality where Gansey dies back in the first book on Neeve's pentagon, if Adam hadn't rushed in and made the sacrifice. I just feel like it's going to make a comeback.

Noah should not be a ghost. There was not once a good explanation for why this happened. Because he died on the ley line? Presumably, if the ley line runs through the US, many people die on the ley line. Gansey’s backstory is that he came back to life from those hornet stings because someone else who should not have died has died. But Noah is like. Not exactly dead? I’m assuming this will need to be addressed later on and serve as some sort of plot resolution.

Persephone has a connection to Cabeswater. She essentially told Adam that she was in his place once (“They won’t understand,” Persephone said. “They didn’t when I came back.”). That lady has something weird going on with her and this tell me it will have some sort of connection to Cabeswater. She kind of gives off the vibes of someone who will get forever lost in a magical forest. Also I feel like maybe one of the psychics won’t make it out alive, and I dread it’d be her or Maura.

Artemus is definitely a Cabeswater creature. I think this was almost explicitly stated? He appeared suddenly and disappeared suddenly? Almost like the surges and outages the ley line causes? Also, I don't remember the specifics from the first book but I think Maura needed Neeve's help to find him because he was in that "place where they can't see", or something like that - presumably Cabeswater. Also, his story does not give human.

[iammistressofmyfate]

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Jordan/Declan Lynch, Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch

Tags: Professor Adam Parrish, Artist Ronan Lynch, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Domestic Bliss, Flashbacks, Slice of Life, Established Relationship, New Relationship, Married Life, Blow Jobs, Cock Warming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Ronan Lynch's Hand Kink, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Bisexual Adam Parrish, Professor/Artist AU, Anxiety, Arguing

Summary: Professor Adam Parrish-Lynch goes about his day to day life with his famous artist husband, Ronan Lynch

Excerpt:

Adam Parrish-Lynch sat behind the small desk he shared with one of his colleagues in Healy Hall on Georgetown University’s campus in Washington, D.C. 

The room was cramped, just large enough for two desks, desk chairs, and bookshelves. It was nothing particularly fancy, but Adam appreciated that there was at least a window letting in the fading evening sunlight. 

It was nice that he had an office at all. 

He finished his email to one of his advisees, smiling a little to himself at her panic over something that she didn’t need to panic about, and then sat back in his seat. It had been a relatively quiet day for his office hours, which was unsurprising. 

He was usually able to get a lot done on his current book or the papers he was looking to publish because the only people who showed up to his office hours were his advisees, and he didn’t have that many. The Classics Department wasn’t particularly large but it was satisfying. Adam was doing exactly what he wanted to be doing. 

[Chapter One]

[cabeswaterdrowned]

for the fourth option say Ronan’s topping of choice was pepperoni or something and then when meeting up before Adam really integrated with Ronan Gansey and Adam ordered a different pizza and Ronan found a receipt and got mad to there was warefare for a while and then Ronan and Adam eventually had to compromise on a non avocado topping. or something of that sort

[akumastrife]

Yule Be Caught; Under Bright Boughs {TRC//Fic Advent: Day 1}

((Officially, Happy Holidays! I’m going to do my best to post every day up until the 25th. A few longer fics, maybe a couple drabbles, maybe even some smut. Who knows. I wanted to be farther ahead in my plans by now but WHOOPS pantsing merrily all the way per usual.))

Things were supposed to have calmed down--Adam was supposed to have calmed down. All of him. All of this. But any party at Fox Way, Yule especially, was bound to cause some sort of chaos. He’s not even sure it’s technically his fault. (Theme: Mistletoe)

{Part 1} {Part 2}  {Part 3}  {Part 4 - Final}

Adam was used to Fox Way being an ever-revolving whirlwind of aunts, cousins, and various pets that shouldn’t be. But this… whatever this gathering was supposed to be, was just excessive.

“Fuck me,” Ronan hissed, jamming his hands into his jacket pockets. It was already unbuttoned and disheveled, a scotch stain at the corner of his lapel. “I’m gonna kill that little vole.”

Adam scratched at the side of his neck, skin crawling under some invisible presence. It’d been bothering him for the last hour. Probably allergic to rubbing elbows with all of Richard Gansey the Senior’s guests. 

“Don’t start a fight, please,” Gansey begged.

“Yeah,” Adam added, “Calla will break you in half.”

“Like to see her try,” Ronan said. And knowing Ronan, he’d probably prefer that to their halting progress through cackling laughter, sticky drinks being jostled, and a thousand homemade shawls covered in a thousand different perfumes.

“Blue!” Gansey cried in delight.

Adam couldn’t see her yet, but that was normal. He’d find her eventually. They weaved through elbows and clouds of hair, and found themselves in the big kitchen filled with crock-pots and trays and crystal bowls of various chilled and steaming liquids. Some of them somehow both.

“There’s the riffraff,” said a throaty voice.

Orla: curls like a halo and dripping in metallic gold fabrics, so much bronzed skin out and criss-crossed in endless looping chains of jewelry. He swallowed, eyes flickering down and then back up faster. Scratched at his neck.

He was sure the gold meant something, but he wasn’t inclined to find out.

“Hello Orla, happy holidays,” Gansey said, hand out for a shake.

Orla simply gripped the tips of his fingers, smiling when he took the hint and kissed the back of her hand. “A Happy Yule to you. And you, pet.”

Ronan bared his teeth.

Adam pushed them both past her, but was stopped himself with a long-nailed finger tracing down his neck to his shoulder.

“Hmm,” she said.

He batted her hand away, shoulder jacking up. Scratched at the tickle she’d left.

“You’re late,” Blue said.

“The silent auction ran long,” Gansey said. “Forgive me?”

“Never.” She still handed him a cup of something steaming. Glanced at his side, face scrunching in horror. “What’s that?”

“Presents.” Gansey brightened, lifting the bag bulging with soft wrapped packages, all mostly the same shape. Gansey had been awfully pleased with himself—and uncharacteristically tight lipped—about it for days.

“I don’t want your charity. Take it back to Tiffany’s.”

“It’s not from Tiffany’s. That’s jewelry, nothing would be in a package this large. Well, unless you were Orla, I suppose. I’m just she could find—”

Blue huffed a laugh, flicking his nose. “I know what Tiffany’s is.”

“Please don’t be mad,” Gansey begged, already desperately out of his depth.

Adam smiled, relaxing some. There were still too many people and too many twinkling lights, but his friends made their own bubble, and he breathed a little easier to melt into the crowds. And the banter was normal; softer than whatever Ronan always did in the BMW after a Gansey Event, knuckles white on the steering wheel and Gansey disapproving in the passenger seat. Even if they weren’t fighting, it was an uncomfortable familiarity to sit in the back under the passing lights, both seventeen and seven at once, the same dreadful anticipation curdling in his throat.

“Can I have some?”

Adam jumped, torn from his thoughts by both the voice and the cold hand to his wrist. Noah, whole and bright, and staring beseeching at the napkin-wrapped mini pie of some sort in his hand. He didn’t remember picking it up; didn’t remember being handed it either. That was the magic of Fox Way, hundreds of women like generators, and a house humming heavy with domestic energy that tugged his mind into complacency.

He took a bite of the pie.

“It’s spiced fruit and nuts,” Adam told him. Admittedly, very good. He wondered who had made it. “You can’t eat.”

Noah pouted, looking forlorn between him and pie. And then leaned in to press their lips together.

A tongue, decidedly tangible and cold, swiped into his mouth and muffled his embarrassing noise of surprise.  

“The fuck?” Ronan snapped.

Dazed, Adam could only kiss back, something in his tired brain shorting and misfiring and only responding to warmth, to tongue, to want.

“Oh,” Noah sighed, pulling back and licking his lips, watching Adam’s with pupils too dark and wide. “Oh, that’s delicious, you’re right.”

“Huh?” Adam said, with all of his 4.0 grades.

“I’m getting better at borrowing energy,” Noah said, still staring at Adam’s mouth. “Borrowing senses from living.”

Adam’s heart tripped and ratcheted faster, feeling cornered and with it that inescapable hunger he tried to shove back down with the old and calloused grief at Noah’s fate.

“He’s getting very good at it,” Blue said proudly, but even she was staring at Adam’s mouth. Or maybe something below it. “We’ve been practicing.”

Gansey whined—terribly betrayed and pathetic about it—and was ignored.