#this is kinda like how does Bill = William but not at all actually
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So, Audrey and Aubrey... What dumbass parent switched up their d's and b's and created a new name??? More importantly which name came first! This is like the, "Which came first the ostrich or the egg?" but with names!!!
#funny#haha#ha ha funny#ostriches#ostrich#lol#rant#audrey#aubrey#names#grammar#writing sorta#english#d#b#d and b#letters#letter mix-up#wtf#im confused#random thought i had at school#slowly getting better at tagging#dumbasses#parenting#parents naming kids#this is kinda like how does Bill = William but not at all actually
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do you. have headcanons on bill’s whole god-henry thing.
Okay okay okay
The whole idea comes from that one line in the Silver Eyes (you know the one) but I do really really like how it interesects with Henry's role in the plot and themes
Henry does make life, and William is deeply in awe and jealous of this ability.
Up until the 70s it was just a regular type of envy/repect- if particularly pronounced. Bill does a lot of the coding for the animatronics and he chose coding because it's the area Henry is weakest in and he wanted to feel better than him. But obviously Henry physically creates the structure of the robots- Bill thinks this is really impressive.
Then the Springlock accident happens around 77'. I've talked about this extensively before but, basically, Henry had to pry the suit off of Bill and Bill got really weird about it- particuarly he felt like one of Henry's machines.
So Bill makes this subconcious connection between his own being and the animatronics Henry creates and he filters this through his rasied-Catholic-brain and comes to the conclusion that Henry is literal actual God from the Bible.
Now Bill's relationship with religion is complicated as a baseline and you mix in his waring feelings about Henry and it gets weirder.
God is real and I love him but he does not love me back.
This makes the worship/resentment ping-ponging he does more extreme. This also worsens over time as he spends more time away from Henry. He turns into a memory in Bill's brain and gets boiled down to these extremes as the memory distorts.
When he sees him again in 2023 in Faz-Frights these muddled, violent feelings manifest in wanting to kill him- as they do for Bill.
Henry guarding him in the afterlife doesn't really resolve this issue at all it kinda makes it worse- Henry finally being the one to actually kill him didn't help either.
So yeah he spends literally all eternity still being really fucking weird about his buisness partner.
#i love them theyre so fucked up#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#william afton#henry emily#yelling about the bear#helium#willry
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I know I ask this a lot but it's because I really like your Michael but can we hear More about him?
Youre "charlie likes horror movies and michael Does Not" has fixed my months long procrastination on how to deal with Michaels relationship with horror, so heres that:
Michael liked horror movies well enough when he was younger, but hated them as he got older. I don't think he hates horror as a genre; i actually think he would like the modern horror genre because a lot of it is focused on family tragedy, and he would find that relatable. (tho i think its funny because that subgenre was largely inspired by fnaf.)
He hates gore and body horror played for shock value, since hes lived a lot of those horrors himself, and it can trigger his ptsd. but i also think a more deeply rooted hate of those types of films comes from a lot of the villians being queer-coded, mentally ill, physically deformed, etc. which are all labels that apply to him and a lot of the people in his life. The heros are never as fucked up or as complicated as he is, or his friends are, or his father is
bit of a side tangent, but "queer, mentally ill, neurodivergent, etc villain vs queer, mentally ill, neurodivergent, etc hero" is like my favorite dynamic. Bill Cipher vs the Pines, Megatron vs Optimus (TFP specifically), William Afton vs Michael and/or Henry just to name a few
Though i think that Mike would really love the kinda cheesy childish horror. Jump scares, tacky halloween decorations, haunted houses, and zombies especially. The Haunted Mansion ride at Disney and The Nightmare Before Christmas? He LOVES that shit. He likes startling people and being startled. Its kind of a form of affection he locked away after the bite, but came back after getting Ev's forgiveness and learning he doesnt have to hate himself and never have fun for the rest of his life.
Hed probably have this really goofy high pitched screech followed by nervous, slightly crazed laughter whenever hes snuck up on/tickled from behind/jumpscared/generally not expecting something. He's got Henry, Charlie, Evan, and Jeremy constantly trying to get him to do the Goofy Screech. fun family vibes.
He likes messing with the weird cryptid hunters whenever they ask around town about him. like "hello are you aware of the utah purple man" "yeah man im pretty fucking aware of him"
#fnaf#five nights at freddy’s#michael afton#henry emily#william afton#evan afton#charlie emily#jeremy fitzgerald#fnaf au#road to hell au#fnaf road to hell
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THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: APPLICATION ANXIETY (SEASON 3, EPISODE 3, PART 3)
Luke marches next door to confront Taylor about his malt shop scheme. I love Luke giving Taylor a good smack down. This episode is so chock full of verbal smack downs, I'm positively giddy.
He's not wrong you know. I fully believe there is a dark side to The Hollow. I wish to one day explore it in my unrated spinoff chock full of swearing and gritty realism and Naked Adult Jess titled...The Hollow.
How creepy is it that Taylor has surveillance cameras all over town? Also, I think I can be forgiven for wrongly assuming Taylor was going to show Luke a picture of Jess. He's chosen to use a couple of skateboarders as an example of moral decay in Stars Hollow when Jess and Shane were macking it against a tree in front of hundreds of people in broad daylight at a festival HE was overseeing. That's funny. I’m glad Taylor decided to leave Jess alone and turn a blind eye to the furious public groping. I'm thinking since Jess could use a couple of friends he should introduce himself to these skateboarders. I think he would fit in nicely. "You want to open up a soda shop next to the diner? Taylor, no, no, no. Every day from now until the end of my life, I am going to come in here saying "Taylor, no." When I die, I'm gonna be frozen next to Ted Williams, and when they find the cure to what I died of and unfreeze me, my first words will be "How's Ted?" followed closely by, "Taylor, no." Another glorious Nuclear Rant! Hey, I actually understood that Ted Williams reference! Umm. Let me have this article unpack it because this post is going to go wildly off script if I attempt to do it myself. Ted Williams' decapitated head was cryonically preserved in a Frankenstein-like plan to resurrect him in the future
Here's what Lorelai is reading (the magazine is dated August 23-30, 2002).
Lorelai informs Rory that she met with Charleston and he suggested Rory meet with a Harvard graduate for an alumni dinner...Aw crud, I remember that. That whole thing where Rory goes to a very awkward dinner with a bunch of intellectual dorks then she goes upstairs to find some girl putting on a bunny costume, and then the bunny gives her life advice about being yourself and not following the crowd or something.
Hey Dave.
Stop it AmyShermanPalladino. Just stop it. *grumbles and googles* Danny Davies Gans (October 25, 1956 – May 1, 2009) was an American singer, comedian and vocal impressionist. Gans was a performer on the Las Vegas Strip and the surrounding area, where he was billed as "The Man of Many Voices." This was in reference to Lorelai impersonating Rory's voice on the phone.
And now, time for the alumni dinner.
She has a digital organizer. That's how we're supposed to know she's really rich.
Lorelai makes a joke about how she thinks the brother and sister in the family are having sex with each other. Welp. At dinner with the Harvard Dorks, Rory and Lorelai exchange looks when the father implores his supposedly incestuous children not to "Fight over the breast." What is happening? Mom and Dad won't talk about Carol (the bunny). The dad is kinda Richard-Esque. The next several minutes is just an excrutiangly long game of Harvard Dork Family Playing Trivia at the dinner table and would you look at that, Lorelai feels like a fish out of the water for not understanding anything they're referencing. HA, HA! NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!
Look at all the kooky crap on the walls. It looks like a TGI Friday's. And she's dressed as a 50's car hop. We already know this girl (Carol) is going to be so quirky. Rory thinks this chick is pretty keen and appreciates her taste in music. Spoiler alert: Rory does not make a new friend. Bunny Carol is Fun and Cute and Quirky and Not Like Other Girls and she intends to make it known that Rory is nothing more than a Harvard Sheep. Baaaa.
If only Rory could be a bunny/waitress like Carol and not stuck on The conveyor belt of Expectations, then she'd truly be happy. Well, who knows, since the journalism degree obviously didn't pan out, maybe at one point she did. There's a big hole in the Gilmore Girls timeline between 2007-2016. LOL @ Rory waiting tables or entertaining children for a living. Even April waited tables at Luke’s and she was like, 12 or something. I don’t remember. Anyway I made myself laugh just now. Rory: I've dreamt of Harvard since I was 4. Bunny Carol: LOL, a lot of little kids dream about that, right after meeting Harry Potter. This bunny is downright vicious.
Getting screen shots of that giant pencil to make jokes about how Rory is always holding oversized props that are vaguely penis-like is the only reason I ever venture into season 7.
I swear there was a fourth penis prop because I referenced that pencil not long ago and can’t find it now.
Take that, Crusty!
Sure, Lorelai is easy to please. Unless you date someone she doesn’t like, or you talk to your grandparents, or you invite your grandparents to a thing, or you take the advice of your grandparents, or you conspire with your grandparents to help your mother financially, or you consider a college that your grandparents suggest, or you consider other colleges besides the best ones, or your quarter on a string goes missing, or your friend gets you into a car accident, or you break up with Dean and suddenly there’s no one around to pleasure her sexually anymore… Otherwise Lorelai is super chill.
Things googled while watching gilmore girls: Ted Williams, Entertainment Weekly Gangs of New York, Danny Gans, How Much Did A PalmPilot Cost, Could A Palm Pilot Make Calls, Inflation Calculator (to calculate the price of a Palm Pilot in today's money, which could be between $400-$700)
#gilmore girls#denise rewatches gilmore girls#gilmore girls season 3#application anxiety#rory gilmore#lorelai gilmore#luke danes#taylor doose#Luke Vs Taylor Verbal Smackdown
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💭 HEADCANNONS ABOUT PERCY WEASLEY
that i one hundred precent believe in and will forever protect.
let's start off with the fact that as a child he most certainly was one of the smallest. in his first year, he most definitely was four feet and two inches or something like that.
he didn't hit puberty until he was thirteen, he believed it was purely evolution and that he just simply grew overnight. however, if you had asked anyone else? they'd tell you that merlin took pity on him.
percy is afraid of failure. much like little hermione granger, percy fears that if he doesn't do well in anything he does that he'll be thrown out of school or rejected consistently by his peers.
he's a straight 'o' student, which is nothing new... except he's only a straight 'o' student because one time his brother fred told him that he was gonna grow up to be the stupidest person ever to exist ( out of anger of course.. fred was like five at the time and percy had blabbed to mummy ). and percy just had to prove his brother wrong.
percy absolutely loves music, and not classical music like most of the classic typical nerds either, but he enjoys listening to the weird sisters, and the hobgoblins. he's also a huge fan of a muggle band called coldplay.
percy is actually a very good cook and can cook just about anything you ask for, his mother began teach him when he was young and the hobby just kinda stuck around. he frequently cooked when his mother and father would leave for short periods of time and couldn't make it back in time to cook dinners.
percy hates nicknames, he only tolerates them from his family because he generally doesn't have a say in anything at all. he doesn't mind his friends giving him one but generally he just likes going by his name or at least the shortened version of it.
he loves cats. he would absolutely adore having a cat of his own, he's jealous of those around him because they get to be with a cat who loves and adores them on a daily basis while he gets a shitty owl who is on his last legs and can barely keep itself upright while flying.
percy was once a prankster like his younger twin brothers, he would go around playing pranks on his family and the family friends but after fred said those words to him once, he decided to put pranking aside and focus on school.
percy is an amazing writer and attempts to write his own novel about what it's like being a wizard in a family of seven wizards and not having a single space to just be alone in without someone needing something from him.
he never wanted to become a ministry worker, but several people made insults towards him about his career choice, so he chose something more attainable and easier to achieve.
percy is a lover at heart, but because of the way his peers reacted to love, he became the quiet lover who does things behind closed doors and prefers no pda out in public. but he isn't opposed to a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips here or there.
percy adores animals. any animal, domestic or non-domestic. he gets it from his brother charlie who spent a good chunk of his own childhood learning all he can about magical creatures and how ti care for them. percy actually had aspirations to become a magizoologist when he was very young but chose a very different path ( as seen above ).
percy and his parents have an odd relationship, while they both love all of their children the same, they tend to overlook him due to him being the middle child and the smartest out of the seven. arthur was the one who got him into the possibility of being a ministry worker as that would definitely pay the bills and help make life a bit easier for the future. while molly attempted to show percy every ounce of love she had for her children.
percy weasley despises his siblings on various different levels. he tolerates william and ron purely because they are the less chaotic of the bunch ( minus the seven years ron attended school). he loves charlie to pieces because charlie is the only one who ever truly cared or even bothered to take his thoughts into consideration. but charlie does get overbearing sometimes and tends to helicopter percy when they were children, which travels well into their teen and young adult years. william is just... too aloof for percy to follow through with, he never knows what he's doing or what he'll be doing. ginny and ron are constantly screaming at each other which makes studying or just relaxing to be very hard and stressful. fred and george are the bane of percy's existence, constantly pranking him every chance they got and never ever considered the consequences of their actions. they always belittled him and told him to calm down when he was simply just explaining how they should be careful. he loves how open-minded and carefree they are, plus they're rather smart and have a knack for charms and stuff.
#percy weasley#percy weasley headcanon#percy weasley headcannons#headcannons#headcannon#percy#weasley#harrypotter#harry potter#percyweasley#percyweasleyheadcannon#percyweasleyheadcannons#my percy weasley headcannons#personal percy weasley headcannons
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I saw you say that you like Raver/Scenecore music, and it has me wondering if you have any thoughts for George and Fred (or even just the rest of the Weasleys too) for what sort of music they'd like?
Ooooo!!! Good ask good ask! I love music so much, and even studying piano right now! My final recital song is even Wizard Wheezes! ((My special interest is Weasleys, what can I say?)) So this is a super amazing and awesome ask! Thank you so much anon! I love love love love music!!!!!
Types Of Music The Weasley Siblings Listen To
William ‘Bill’
Bill is very much a Rock person. You’ll hear him listening to Ghost, Three Day Grace, My Chemical Romance, the classics like that. Just different types of Rock in general. Pop Rock, Rock and Roll, etc. Even go as far as to play an electric guitar. How did he manage to? I mean, magic. Who says you need to plug it in anywhere, when you can just produce magic itself to work it? Loves Alternative Rock Music. Favorite song? Gotta go with a classic like Mary On A Cross
Charlie
Of course he loves punk, and alternative, but he did mellow out a bit when he finally settled into his job. Playing softer music for the new born dragons made him come to love softer songs. Like jazz, country, and folk. So to kinda wrap it all together, he’s a Taylor Swift fan. He’s not a swiftie, but he does enjoy her music. He also loves to play guitar, many kinds, and even knows how to play the flute. Thanks to Hagrid. Playing the guitar, or flute, for the baby dragons is a passion time he wouldn’t trade for anything. Favorite song? 100% Taylor’s ‘No Body No Crime’ for sure
Percy
100% is the type to believe in the Mozart Theory. He listens to classical musics constantly. Such a nerd. Genuinely though, he does enjoy it. It helps him study and focus. So if you were to introduce him to the genre of lofi? He really would like it. Soft wordless music to play in the background, as he works. So he would be such a Stan for The Lofi Girl, if he was to say if he has a favorite anything
Fred And George
Big Band, Jazz, Swing, Techno Swing, they LOVE that high energy bop music. I mean, look at what their literal shops theme song is ((Fun fact, as I am writing this I am ACTUALLY playing Wizard Wheezes on the piano right now, for a recital!)) They gotta love that high energy music. Love it love it love it. Fred and George go nuts for Fully Dressed With Out A Smile. They also will break into Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better if given the chance. They especially loved singing that with Ginny, while growing up
Ron
He was invested in Rock, of course. The side effects of being a younger sibling to a big family, but Hermione helped him explore other interests as well. Helped him be more brave in what he liked. He does love Rock styles, but Pop Rock was more his branch. Pop just has a more fun energy to it. Different from his day to day life. Helps him stand out a little as well, since Bill is more into the alternative/emo/goth aesthetic types or Rock. One Republics ‘Run’ speaks to him a lot. Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but he also really likes Sk8ter Boy. Because it makes him think of Hermione. Shhhhh
Ginny
Musicals. She just can’t pick a genere. Growing up with six brothers gave her a love of different types of music. So if you ask her what she likes, she will say musicals. Musicals have so many types and moods. It’s perfect for whenever you don’t know what to listen do. In a romantic mood? High energy? Even depressive gothic? There’s a musical for it. She’s learned to keep her mind open, and invest in different interests. Her favorite song really depends on the mood she’s in, or vibe. But if you had to twist her arm, it’s gonna be that classic Merry Poppins Step In Time. It reminds her of her brothers, whenever they had to do spring cleaning together. If she’s sad, that song will ALWAYS make her feel better. If not? Clearly a imposter!
Bonus: Belladonna
Fun fact about me! I am currently learning piano! I just love music so much. Piano is also good for me health wise, because I have dexterity issues because of my muscle spasms. I’m practicing a recital song, and it’s Wizard Wheezes. Which I’ll perform as my final. I hope to post it on tumblr in the future. As for music I like? Scene/Ravecore and Techno Swing. I guess I just love high energy songs with electric vibes. Ironic, given I have chronic fatigue. Along with, ya know, trapped in a wheelchair. Slay. Thank you again anon! I love music so much, and I am forever grateful I have hearing to enjoy it. A really great ask!!!
#harry potter#harry potter magic awakened#hpma#magic awakened#hp magic awakened#bill Weasley#William Weasley#Charlie Weasley#Percy Weasley#Fred Weasley#George Weasley#Weasley twins#Fred and George#Fred and George Weasley#Ron Weasley#Ginny Weasley#harry potter headcanon#hp headcanon#Weasley siblings#Weasley family#headcanon#headcanons#Weasley siblings headcanon#music#music headcanons#I love music#I am even learning piano#i love music so much#request#thanks anon!
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Golden Freddy, The Vengeful Spirit of a Kidnapped Child (a long and kinda uncomplicated theory)
Midnight Motorist is an interesting topic.
Considering how all of the Minigames in 6 are focused on a character's origin story, the fact that we were given a minigame that makes literally no sense, lore wise, for any character there, says something, especially when UCN was originally supposed to be part of 6 as a DLC.
If we take that into account, then we can assume whoever Midnight Motorist is about is the one in control of the whole UCN operation since that would have no clear explanation otherwise within that game, which was supposed to be the final part of that chapter.
Now, I know someone is going to be like, "But William is the Orange Guy!" And all I have to say is when was William ever implied to be an alcoholic? Not to mention how William randomly being orange makes no sense in the context of his character. Based on what the other universes tell us about him, William was always crazy and murderous, so him changing color isn't a metaphor for him losing it. Him being Orange does nothing but overcomplicate a relatively simple narrative you could make here, and if his car being purple is supposed to mean something, it's probably supposed to be an intentional red hearing, one the in universe police fell for, as the suspect for the MCI was arrested. Orange Guy having the same car as William, is seemingly telling us that he's the one people THINK is responsible.
The person who ran off is a he, so we can rule out any female characters we know. Coincidentally (or maybe not), the vengeful spirit is also a he. While his voice actor is feminine presenting, it's not unusual for AFAB people to do little kid voices, as their voices are typically higher pitched.
With the introduction of the Tales books in more recent years, along with the implications from SL, we know Afton most likely set up the whole Fnaf 4 situation at some point in the past. Whether or not we play that simulation is an entirely unrelated conversation I don't want to have. The most likely person to go through these experiences was Mike, but him being the vengeful spirit seems kind of stupid, especially since we just ruled out William being Orange man, so who else do we have?
We have the kid from the Tales books currently going through the simulation, but he wasn't killed by William, so he's ruled out. Cassidy could have been an interesting conversation if we actually knew who that name fully belonged to, even if it was the ghost you're probably thinking of, their pronouns are She/Her so she's out.
That just leaves one option that makes total sense, Andrew.
Now I know people who think the books are parallels are going to disagree at first, but hear me out. If Cassidy isn't the Golden Freddy kid, who is? Andrew is implied to be in the Golden Freddy suit in Frights, so it's probably him based on deductive reasoning.
We see him actively torturing William in Frights. He uses He/Him. He was murdered by William in some way that was unique from his other victims.
He fits the bill perfectly.
Even if you don't believe the Frights stories are in the game universe, we still don't have 100% confirmation on if Golden Freddy IS Cassidy, so we literally don't have another option here + with all this extra lore Andrew has, even if he's not in the games, someone similar definitely is.
Also, something interesting I haven't seen brought up before is that in the Fnaf 2 minigame, 'Give Gifts, Give LIfe', Golden Freddy is never given a gift, he's left alone on the ground, no mask to wear. Charlie never got to give him his gift, and based on what Frights tells us about ghosts, something tells me that would leave him confused and afraid.
So here's my basic theory:
Andrew grew up in an abusive household with an alcoholic father. One day, he went to Freddy's and loved every second of it. It was his safe place, and he'd sneak out often to go there. One night, Spring Bonnie shows up at his window and becons him to come outside. Andrew breaks his window because his family locks him in, wanting him to stop sneaking off to Freddy's, and runs off with Bonnie, unaware he's going to suffer a terrible fate.
William shoves him into the nightmare chambers, testing early prototype versions of the funtime animatronics on him until William realizes he doesn't need him anymore.
William, being the sick bastard he is, springlocks Andrew inside Fredbear, killing him. Later on, when the missing children's incident happens, Andrew's family finally realizes he's not coming back, and if Andrew went to Freddy's when this all happened, he's probably one of those missing kids now. So he's finally reported missing at the same time Gabriel and Jeremy probably are, leading to the case of 3 from the fnaf 1 newspaper.
Andrew's father (Orange Guy) gets arrested for the MCI, as someone spotted a purple car similar to his speeding away from Charlie's murder. That paired with his constant abuse of his son and being an awful person in general just made him a walking red flag, one perfect for William to frame.
Charlie gave gifts to the other children, the gift of understanding that they're dead, the gift of being aware, all except for one. Andrew was stuck in a limbo like state. He was scared and alone, living in his memories of Freddy's, stuck in the past. It took him a while to realize what happened, but eventually, he became aware, on his happiest day. The kids all worked together to gift him his cake, his memories of his death fixed together and allowing him complete understanding.
While the other kids all got endoskeletons that functioned perfectly, Andrew was stuck with a busted down yellow bear, limp and alone. He doesn't remember much of what William did to him, but he knows he hurt him. William hurt him BAD. So much so that he feels he suffered worse than the others have...
Leading him to be angry...
Vengeful even...
Andrew is the Vengeful Spirit, Golden Freddy, and an MCI kid all at once.
He's literally the answer to all of the questions...
Thank you for reading, I hope this made a somewhat amount of sense. I personally think this is a pretty solid explanation that fills out some confusing things in the narrative. Basically, I'm just trying to tie the loose plot lines together, and I feel like this actually makes perfect sense. This feels like the story Scott was trying to tell imo. I was also very tired writing this, if that wasn't obvious.
#fnaf golden freddy#fnaf theories#fnaf theory#fnaf fandom#fnaf andrew#midnight motorist#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#william afton fnaf#fnaf william afton#william afton#fnaf 6 pizza simulator#fnaf 6#fnaf pizzeria simulator#freddy fazbear's pizzeria simulator#fnaf fazbear frights#fazbear frights#fnaf tales from the pizzaplex#tales from the pizzaplex#fnaf charlotte#fnaf charlie#five nights at freddy's 2#fnaf orange guy#scottgames#fnaf 3#fnaf 2#fredbear#vengeful spirit#fnaf ultimate custom night#ultimate custom night
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"Well, that's one problem solved." Joey said, watching the car slowly drive off.
"Yeah, the easy part." David said, watching as well.
"What about this... Kevin... fellow?" William asked.
"We cross that bridge when we come to it, he's going to have to be found, one way or another." David said.
"That sounds like a job for his supervisor: anybody have an idea of how to contact them?" Joey asked.
"No, but hopefully Sophie does, the only time we had contact with them was when they called us." David said. "That was when Brann used a little too much magic for their taste."
"Then we get Brann to turn into a dragon and wait for them to call." Joey said only half-joking.
"Or, I could just look at the phone bill and see if the number is there, I know what day and roughly what time it was." David said.
"They're probably too slick for that." Joey said.
"Then we go with Joey's plan..." David said.
"I don't think Brann will be too keen on..." William said.
"No, I mean Brann and Vala will have to come up and deal with the mess; we can't just leave those things in there." David said.
"The door is unlocked; maybe we should call them now and at least get started on it." Soth said.
"Yes; it's either that or we spend the night here, or lock the doors ourselves and hope Kevin doesn't show up." David said. "I'm betting the moment they both... show up... we'll, or more likely I'll, be getting another call."
"That won't be necessary, gentlemen..." came a voice from behind them.
"Hello there, my name is Simon, my partner Miss Schuster will be here shortly, we're here from The Foundat...." Simon began.
"Simon and Schuster....that's the best you could come up with?" Joey asked.
"This was an impromptu situation, Mr. Pierce, and names, well, how important are they, really?" Simon asked.
"Well, I think you should address me by my proper name, I'm Dewey Cheatum, and this is my business associate Mr. Howe." Joey said, pointing at Soth.
Knowing there was a pop culture reference in there, but not knowing which one, Soth simply asked, "How do you do?"
David hid his laughter with a cough; William just stared at them all.
"Well, Mr. Howe, your performance in the house was...most impressive... when you were first assessed by our...group...we decided not to give you a designation, and let you...roam freely here..." Simon said.
"You rid the world of an ancient evil, and you did so with professionalism, it's good to know we made the right decision." Simon continued.
"I'm glad you feel that way; I'm sure everyone will be happy to hear what Simon says." Soth answered, knowing the pop culture reference this time.
David actually laughed, as did Joey.
Screech!!!
"Darnell, do you know what time it is?" a female voice asked. Somehow, she managed to pull her car in front of David's truck.
"Like a rock..." she said, "the trucks not bad lookin either..."
David actually blushed...
"I'm Mitsi, he probably called me Schuster, and I'm missing a really good Italian dinner for this..."
She suddenly stopped...
"Wow...the bases are fully loaded in there, aren't they?" Mitsi asked.
"Yeah...and they're not exactly in a Kosher mood." Joey said.
"Understood." Mitsi said, "you got the Rabbis together....'Simon'....? Mitsi asked.
"Yeah..."
"The usual truck?"
"Yeah..."
"Let's get to it, then; how many, Joey?" Mitsi asked.
"At least two hundred; probably twice that." Joey answered, not even bothering to ask how she knew his name.
"Okay; this is going to take us the better part of the night, you might as well go home, someone should have a good dinner." Mitsi said.
"You like Italian, Dave?" Mitsi asked.
David nodded...
"Cool; I'll see what I can do..." Mitsi smiled.
"You might as well go; it gets kinda boring from here, and we don't want Simon here calling Alvin and Theodore out."
"The words 'secret' and 'identity' have no meaning for you at all." Simon said.
"These people know who we are and who we work for; they know we can make life much easier if they just keep doing what they're doing." Mitsi said.
"By the way.." Mitsi said, grabbing a card and a small box from her car.
"My card; call me if you have any more... close encounters..."
"And for you..." She gave the box to Joey, who opened it to find...
"Hallelujah!" Joey said, taking it out to have a good look.
"Our number is already in it; just let me swap out your SIM card. It has a headphone jack and a Micro SD card slot; some things need to be off the cloud." Mitsi said.
"Thanks!!" Joey said, elated.
"Not a problem; now go get some sleep, it's getting late." Mitsi said.
"Ready, Darnell?"
"Yeah..."
They both went into the house; as David and the others watched, lights went on as they moved through the rooms, looking for signs of anomalous activity and assessing what was there.
"We might as well go; they're going to do what they're going to do, and nothing is going to stop them." David said.
They all agreed, and got into David's truck, Soth and Joey in the back. David dropped Joey off, knowing he would be busy with his new toy for the rest of the night.
David, Soth, and William returned to David's house and went to bed; tomorrow would bring something new....
It always does
#my half demon bestie#my neighbor is a monster hunter#fantasy fiction#my writing#creative writing#hollow earth#at david's house#my roommate is a monster hunter
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hello i come to you bearing gifts (my rambles about the Security Breach era of the Rewrite)
so, a few important things to note:
the Glamrocks, at least, in their canon form, don't exist. they do have Equivalents, though
Malhare (Glitchy Rabbit Boy) DOES exist..but he's a lot less powerful. he's more a rogue computer program (that's also a small piece of Afton's soul/conscience) that can only manipulate electronics. what he does to Vanny is less outright mind control and more along the lines of him manipulating a Very fucked up and traumatized young woman and then asking her "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you wanna go APESHIT?" and her answer being yes.
Vanny and her father have much larger roles in the lore. specifically, they are related to one of William's '87 victims (the Toy Bonnie kid, Terrence, specifically). Vanny is the kid's niece, and her father was his older brother.
Vanny and her father's last name is Warren. that's a fun Easter Egg that i'll let you find out yourself ;]
WHO'S READY FOR GEN 2 AFTON AND EMILY KIDS?? (Cameron, Gregory, and Cassie)
things are Very different. Mike and Sammy decided to do a small reboot of the franchise, just for nostalgia's sake and to give the local kids a place to hang out. the animatronics are quite different, but they're like. rebooted versions of the OG animatronics + just regular Blackjack (the lone survivor of Henry's attempt to finally end everything. yes, he's still sentient).
all of the games are rather different. Help Wanted (original) is more like a collection of smaller Fazbear-Related games (that, in the lore, was used as a way to connect the old Fazbear brand with the reboot) that the player can choose to play through (with Malhare being inside a Tomogatchi-type game of sorts) and having two major protagonists (Summer/Tape Girl and Vanny's father, Bill. although he sucks). Security Breach now Actually has five "nights" (days that Greg spends at the new restaurant mostly on his own; the player would have to complete various tasks to get through the "nights" and be able to leave). Ruin is just Cassie exploring an abandoned Freddy's building (specifically the Fnaf 2 building) and unknowingly being led towards Vanny by Malhare mimicking her friend's voice (Gregory). she doesn't die, thank God. haven't figured Help Wanted 2 out just yet, but it involves Mike's older son, Cameron, having A Bad Time (maybe it'll be similar to a Fnaf 4 situation, where nothing's real and it's a nightmare/dream, except it's lore related stuff and paranormal in nature. i'm also keeping the whole theme of "What Makes You So Special?" because it still fits with the personality i have for Cam: a child with popular parent(s) who just tries to keep out of the spotlight. Cam doesn't know why he's getting involved with the Paranormal Shit out of nowhere, nor why it's happening in his dreams).
Vanny is a copycat killer, but she was kinda still manipulated by Malhare. y'know; a mix of canon and what i think would be a cool idea.
so now: A Brief Plot Summary Of The Games!
Help Wanted: Summer tries dealing with the paranormal Glitch Hare on her computer while trying to figure out why he's here. We also learn, apparently, that William is MARGINALLY (note the word choice here) a better father than Vanessa's father.
Security Breach: Charlie would like to relax and enjoy her afterlife, but apparently William's trying to kill his grandson so she's having to team up with a sentient robot fox to keep this gremlin from dying. How does she team up with the fox? By possessing the other robots for brief periods of time to warn and give advice to her nephew (? in a sense) to keep him from dying.
Ruin: Cassie just wants to explore an abandoned building, William's still pissed that Vanny didn't kill his grandson so now he's trying to get her to kill an Emily child (this would only end even Worse for him because Sammy WILL go ballistic if his daughter dies), and Charlie has to help her niece NOT get killed (the mask this time around is a Puppet Halloween Mask that Charlie can possess at will, and she speaks to Cassie while she wears the mask).
Help Wanted 2: Autistic preteen who also deals with selective mutism has The Worst Fucking Time while dreaming, and does not understand why the spirits of dead kids (and his dead grandfather, who is currently being tortured in hell) are so desperate to want to speak to him as he sleeps.
Random Animatronic: What makes you so special?
Cameron, stressed the fuck out and trying to do things:
like. this kid doesn't know what's happening. for reference: Cam is around 11-12. Gregory and Cassie are closer to 6-8.
Ough sb is one of my favorite eras for the rewrite, I remember when we were at ren Faire and you explained some of the plot to me!! Anyways. My beloveds as always, sweet bebbies
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*Casually Materialises*
No one asked for this but I don't care.
Characters that I fucking love from Fazbear Frights that I see barely anyone talking about because they didn't read past books 1-5 usually. Or they forget about them. Because that happens.
Spoilers if you haven't read the books ig??
1. Toby Billings
My beloved boy
He's so depressed lmao
Definitely got some shit going wrong
But we love him
And he deserves better that being tormented by a fucking shadow rabbit
Literally has no mother
She fucking left ✌️
But he has a brother (who is a dick)
And a dad (who supports the brother)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Bestie I hope ur ok
2. Jeremiah (I don't he has a last name, if he does, I forgot it and I refuse to check the wiki out of spite)
Also depressed probably
Needs therapy
Parker was so mean to him what the heck.
He was just vibin
And trying to finish his fucking job
And this bitch put spicy shit in his chips
>:(
Also Glitchtrap kinda makes him have to find Hope and Parker's disembodied pieces
So that's rude
3. Hudson
Why are all of these people depressed
But yeah he has actual PTSD
Poor guy
Literally was trying to just leave his past behind him BC he couldn't deal with it
And just wanted to exist in peace
uNTIL SPRINGBITCH DECIDED HAHAHAHHA NO
I have a lot of hatred towards William.
4. Colton
Surprisingly, not depressed
Just a moron
I love his stupid little brain
He legit broke into a place to fix a game to get tickets for a game when he literally could've just stolen the game
You little dumb dumb
*headpat*
5. Sam
Bestie
Broski does film????
I do film!!!!!
Also I find him goofy
And Nole definitely spent way too long on the first 3 pages describing how he sits and stuff
I have no idea what his skin tone is because everyone keeps changing it and I am just gonna stick with like the original one I know for him lmao
He's so swag
(probably fruity ✨💅)
Does anyone want 5 (or more) characters I despise for dumb little reasons?
#fazbear frights#fnaf#haha#im sleep deprived#i fucking love these morons#you cannot stop me#Toby Fazbear Frights#Toby Billings#Jeremiah Fazbear Frights#Jeremiah support group (he needs help)#Hudson Fazbear Frights#I DO NOT CARE IF HE DIED IN AN OVEN HE IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL IN MY HEART BC OMG HE DIDNT DESERVE THAT (i know hes dead dw)#Colton Fazbear Frights#i casually dont remember anyones last names#Sam Fazbear Frights#Nole Fazbear Frights#my little gay dumbasses#i fucking love them#Nole 100% checking out Sams ass when no one is paying attention#screw Amber i hope she dies#Amber from Faz Frights. i dont know any otber Ambers#oh well#spoilers????
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Evil Dead Book Bible
Why did they never make a book bible with really cool info!! please!!!
if they did make one this is what I think it should have:
i would have it so brandy, pablo, ash, and kelly are all commenting through the book bible
**Chapter 1: The Evil Dead** • Some actual pages from the book shown in the movie
• The Cabin • Couple pages on baby ash and kelly/pablo/brandy all commenting on how innocent he looks • Mostly knowby scribblings, notes, the actual translation he does •A joke somewhere from Kelly about how Ruby really claimed to be a knowby when she's too hot to be one •A page on knowby & henrietta, some AVED stuff could be used here • Cheryl & Ash commentary • A page on Scotty & Shelly, at least 2 pages for Cheryl & Linda • Cheryl's drawings of some of the characters (Brandy asking about her aunt she never knew) • Chet's page is crossed out and Ash explains why he wasn't there in the first place and is somehow still oblivious that Chet was dating Cheryl • Ash really explains why they went to the cabin all together in the first place and why the FUCK he brought his sister along. please bro. i need to know what was your thought process. • Ash explains his haircut & fashion choices. Brandy/Kelly/Pablo all shit on him for it. Brandy kind of defends the blue shirt but will shit on his hair.
•Delta gets 2 pages and it’s just Sam & Bruce commentary. I hope bruce draws swords going into the Delta because that’s how he feels about it.
• Sam shows his storyboard idea where the ugly necklace saved Ash with the power of love. And conveniently placed sunlight.
**Chapter 2: Evil Dead 2** • Linda 2 pages • Commentary from Ash & Annie • Two pages on Annie Knowby • One page for Bobby Joe & Ed (Ash jokes about how quickly ed turned deadite) • Deadite Henrietta • Ash's hand • Chainsaw diagram, really in depth and shit for cosplay • Next page is really bad scribbles on how ash attached his hand to the chainsaw and commentary from ash (Pablo: I still don't get how this works.) • Dancing Deadite Linda (Kelly: She still sounds kinda hot ngl)
**Chapter 3: Army of Darkness** • S-Mart 2 pages and ash explains how he got the job in the first place
• Castle Kandar diagram • Ash & Arthur commentary • Pages on wizard, arthur, henry, blacksmith (Brandy: Was that guy actually a wizard or just a really old dude with a beard who read more books? Ash: I’m not sure, actually.) • 2 pages on Sheila (Kelly: Damn, she's hot too! I hate to say it, but you have really good taste in women.) • Ash's boomstick dialogue line with brandy/pablo/kelly all making fun of it • Tiny Deadite Ashes (Kelly: I wish you kept one, it would've been hilarious) • Evil Ash (Pablo: Man, that's one badass dude. Uh, second to you, Ash.) • Skeleton Army (Ash: I'll give 'em this, they had a really cool band playing during that fight it was pretty sweet)
• Ash’s trunk (Pablo: Damn, you really prepare for a trip through space and time.) • Two pages of the future Ash ending, the pages look like they were jammed in there. Maybe Sam & Bruce commentary? • Two pages of deleted scenes, especially the pillar one
**Chapter 4: Evil Dead (2013)**
• Mia & David commentary
• Pages on Mia, David • Minor pages on Eric, Olivia, Natalie
• Explanation of their family cabin and photos of them as kids
• Page inked in blood, maybe by the dad from the beginning of the movie explaining how the book got in the basement in the first place
• Deadite Mia 2 pages
• I would add more but this isn’t one of my fave EDs oops feel free to add any ideas though
**Chapter 5: Ash vs. Evil Dead**
• Commentary from all the Ghostbeaters • Pages dedicated to Pablo, Kelly, Old Ash (scribbled in by Kelly), and Brandy
• Two pages for Bill (Baal) and Ruby separately
• Two pages for the sexy Ashy Slashy puppet
• Two pages for poor Amanda
• Dad Williams pages, Chet, Candy Barr (need to see more of the drunken Ash in vegas okay), Cougie, Eligos, El Brujo, Kelly’s parents, Linda & her family, any other relevant characters in AVED. I still feel bad for the poor book dude in season 1 too so maybe pls include him.
• Eli, two pages for that bastard. And maybe Ash can explain where his love for bearded dragons came from since he did have one at home before
• Pics of Ash’s horny 80s teen room at his old house
• Pics of Ash’s trailer, also horny 80s teen room
• Value Stop (Could make it canon that S-mart change its name to Value Stop or have it so Ash has some ominous backstory as to why he’s banned from working in an S-mart ever again)
• Brandy’s prom
• The Dark Ones
• Baby Ash (Ash: They really like making handsome clones...)
• That weird limbo death world, include Knowby’s face from ED2 to tie it together
• Ashy Slashy Hardware store
• Actually, give me a news article published right after Ash returned from the cabin ranting about deadites and explain how “Ashy Slashy” was born
**Chapter 6: Evil Dead Rise**
• Don’t know shit yet so lmao
**Chapter 7: Video Games & Comics **
• Evil Dead: The Game (2022)
• Evil Dead Commodore 64 (Ash: Look at those sexy pixels!)
• Evil Dead: Hail to the King
• Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick
• Maybe just a couple pages listing some of the other games and minor commentary, when they released, who published it, etc
• Marvel Zombies (Pablo: Wait, you met Spider-man? Ash: No! I mean, *I* did but another *me* did. Or something like that.)
• Reanimator (Ash’s funny commentary on Herbert West) (Brandy: Wait, you met the mad scientist head guy? Ash: Yup! He gives great head. Ha! I’ve been waiting forever for that one.)
• Army of Darkness Comics (Kelly: I’m calling bullshit. There’s no god damn way you met Freddy Krueger AND Xena. Fuck you.) (Ash: I did!)
**Chapter 8: Behind the Scenes**
• I need all of the storyboardssss
• Any BTS pictures of cast and crew
• I loved Bruce’s drawings of the torture devices Sam made during the movies I want more in here
• Maybe an actual explanation from Sam as to why he wants the piss colored car in all of his movies
• List of actors, actresses across media (A joke about how many different Ash’s bruce played)
**Chapter 9: The Future (pls animated show)**
• Photos of fandom, conventions
• Hail to the Deadites movie pics shown
• Merchandise
Feel free to add any ideas at the bottom or let me know how much this sucks or rules LMAOO
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100 Films of 1952
Film number 95: Aaron Slick from Punkin Crick
Release date: April 12th, 1952.
Studio: Paramount
Genre: Musical
Director: Claude Binyon
Producer: William Pearlberg, George Seaton
Actors: Alan Young, Dinah Shore, Robert Merrill, Adele Jergens
Plot Summary: Josie is a country girl who dreams of selling her farm and living in the city. She also wants to marry her neighbor Aaron, but he loves the country and never wants to leave. When some big city guests arrive, Josie is dazzled, but all is not what it seems. Suddenly they announce they want to buy her farm...
My Rating (out of five stars): **½
During Project 1952 I saw an ad for this film in a magazine, and I thought, “WTF? Is that actually real?!” Indeed it is. Unfortunately, the film lived up to my worst stereotypical expectations for a story about “country folk versus city folk.” The “country folk” were ridiculously idealized and the city folk were ridiculously villainized.
The Good:
Dinah Shore. She was easily the most charismatic and enjoyable actor in the movie. I really like her singing voice as well- it reminds me a lot of Doris Day’s.
The Technicolor. As usual, I stan Technicolor. The print of the film I saw was quite poor, but even so, the color was luscious.
There was a lot of music. This is a musical that barely takes a breath to stop singing, which was a big plus for me.
The costumes were gorgeous. The film takes place in the early 1900s- it looked very Edwardian- and the period costumes were beautiful, colorful, and fun. (Ooh, I just discovered that Edith Head was the designer here, so that makes sense!)
The Bad:
The cast overall was kinda blah. Aside from Shore, no one else really pulled me in. Alan Young was cute as Aaron but not terribly interesting.
The music was not the most memorable. None of the songs were bad, but they certainly weren’t bangers. The only one I can remember after having just finished the film is the opening “Chores” number.
The characters were very one dimensional with little to no depth.
It was way too simplified in terms of country vs city. The country folk lived in a paradise of harmony and simplicity- they were all good people who loved going to church and dancing on the weekends. The city folk were cynical snobs, con men, criminals, and bawdy chorus girls. I know it’s just a comedy, but it was incredibly annoying and insulting. Especially as someone who has lived large portions of my life in both the city and the country.
I got bored more than once with the story and had a hard time staying focused. Once Josie went to the city things kind of fell apart for me.
Here’s an example from the opening song of the insipid “country vs city” stuff: “The country girls are natural folk, they like to laugh and like to joke. City girls are learning to smoke behind the parlor doors.”
Oh, and yet again we get more jokes about men slapping their women around. During a fight, a guy says to his fiancé, “Oh my sweetheart, how I look forward to marrying you and being arrested for wife-beating!” Facepalm.
And why does the guy get his name in the title when the woman is the main protagonist? Yes, yes, I know, “Aaron Slick” and “Punkin Crick” rhyme, but it could easily have been “Josie Slick from Punkin Crick,” couldn’t it? I just thought it was weird that she didn’t get first billing in her own film. (But not terribly surprising in some ways!)
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I was gonna respond to the reblogs with the tags on the post, but I wanted this reblog to be the one I use going forward bc. The meta. Juicy. Didn’t wanna leave it behind, it’s soooo good. The William drag, how his terrible legacy is continued in the further games, how even with thinking about his situation his actions have altered Desmond in a way that can’t be forgiven (not that he actually gives a sincere apology). Ideas on how the assassins operate. Just. Mwah!
Sooooo tags!
@leonspardas
#yeah he didn’t like waste his life. he was living the life he wanted to live#which was a normal one
@benewhorian
#yeah!!#and ok. but isnt his totally neutral outfit the perfect costume.#as well as hiding in nyc among millioms of people. being a bartender. a profession as far from being an#adsassin ad possible
@the-babbling-brook
#I love Desmond#bro deserved sm better#assassin’s creed#desmond miles#reblog
@mandrake-does-art
#THIS#ppl need to appreciate Desmond more#i miss the present day assassins
@desmondmilesdefensesquad
#EXACTLY#meta#desmond
@kingbob2-0
#desmond miles#asscreed#william miles#bill is an ASS #Poor Desmond#Bill was most certainly not a good dad
@teecupangel
#all of this#yeeesss #yes he is
@fanworldbuildingfun
#Assassin's Creed#Desmond Miles#Yeah#Even the game (cough Shaun cough) treats Desmond like he just...#Let his training waste for who knows how long?#Except no - he clearly made use of it#honestly with wjat little we know about hia life between Farm and being caught#I would almost say that Desmond just... Used his talents as a dai/informant would?
@beepbeepwhatdoyouthink
#the lack of understanding and acknowledgement of these facts breaks my heart like#desmond is good#both a good person and a good assassin before the animus#and i get game mechanic reasons like it has to make sense for the player to learn alongside the pc#but desmond is so so much more than his ancestor's memories and think it's very ironic#that we as fans do this to him just like the narrative does#assassins creed
@thedragonqueen1998
#all of this#yeeesss#<previous tags#yes indeed#and this will be meta#but theres nothing wrong with wanting a normal life#not becoming a superstar#or an astrophysicist#or a doctor#doesnt make a person “lazy” or “dumb”
@princesslikesfanfics
In conclusion, BAMF Desmond is truly canon (not a tag but I wanted it to be here too)
@sparrow-in-boots
#I HAVEN BEEN FUCKING SAYING!!!!!#screaming off the rooftops even!!#assassin's creed
@alex-mercer
#POINTING AT THIS#he's smart and skilled as hell!!! william is just a dick#assassin's creed#desmond miles
@mirrorthoughts
#I really really don’t like Bill#I’d like to punch his teeth in for how he treated Desmond#Assassin‘s Creed#Desmond Mile
@raett97
#yeah i have. problems with Bills character#kinda. my take is capital C complicated#but also my frame of reference is only up to AC3#but like. he was a bad mentor and worse father#i could do my own break down analysis interpretation but thats too much effort rn#it boils down to the fact he prioritise the shit out of the Assassin's as a Brotherhood#and the Assassin's as a cause#and not the Assassin's as people#and Desmond suffered most from that mentality bc while other Assassin's would have had family to turn to#Des was left with nothing#no support at all#and like. i get it#Bill. the world was literally going to end#but you can multitask. you dont have to be a complete dickhead to get things done#i could go on. but i wont. (please do)
@acelike
#assassin's creed#he succeeded at escaping master assassins at 16#desmond defence squad
Ok, to all the people talking about how shit Bill was YESSSSS fuck that guy! That’s why he dies in the rewrite! I’m sorry but why did the game open up with Desmond telling his own story in the Ezio trilogy after all the time we spent with him in game only for Bill to basically open up AC3 shit talking Desmond? Like? It was already kinda weird how the game downplayed the shit out of Desmond (their MAIN CHARACTER) but then?? They go the extra mile and show that Bill, the man that Desmond talks about having a bad experience with, not only shit talking him but then treating him like shit in game, physically and verbally abusing him and no one else ever addressing it. Not the game, not the characters, not the narrative, no one ever says shit about the fact that Desmond is actually being abused and it just. Gets brushed under the rug.
And then! Desmond saves Bill and this still doesn’t change anything! Not how Bill treats him, how the game should’ve been forced to acknowledge that Desmond is a master assassin (even if they wanted to invalidate him, they should’ve put some respect on his name and skills but no), or the fact that the Templars that once were stringing him along and Desmond feared being captured for the Templars to be getting cut down. So much goes on, in the actual game, to prove that Desmond is a BAMF but instead of it having a turning point in the story where the narrative is forced to acknowledge his skills, they just keep on going. Then Desmond dies and it’s Bill that carries the story.
....Bill. Really? Shaun and Rebecca are in the later games but then in Mirage it’s looking like he’ll be the one in animus? What has changed for Bill as a character or the assassins? Nothing. NOTHING! I don’t like that man or what he does to the Assassin Order, I’m just. Hm. He can be the one that doesn’t return to the series.
Also, as other people have mentioned, wanting to be a normal person isn’t wasting your life away. I mean! Ezio’s whole story accumulated to the point where he laid down his blades because he was tired of bloodshed, Altair traps himself in the library hoping that someone would eventually track down all the keys, finally getting to rest. These are the two best assassins in the history of assassins and they chose to either rest or live a normal life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get away from bloodshed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live around people normally, and the fact that Desmond literally escaped from a compound that survived the Purge with master assassins is just never brought up. But when it’s phrased like ‘Desmond escaped a top secret, high security assassin base with Master assassins and the Mentor of the Assassin Order at 16 years old and managed to escape and evade the Templars and Assassins for nearly 10 years’, suddenly it doesn’t sound like some flight of fancy that the game tries to make it seem.
It’s an act of conviction and determination to choose how he wants to live his life (which is also why I write that Desmond takes care of Elijah bc wtf Ubisoft, Desmond would never leave behind a child that would possibly be vulnerable to the Assassins and Templars, fuck off with that) and he made sure that he stayed free! He stayed out of their clutches until Abstergo used their incredibly vast resources to track him down, and even then, they sent in their best agent Daniel Cross because they knew to send the best to bring him in.
This is stuff that I didn’t make up, this is just in the game text, but the game just???? Refuses to show that it’s impressive and does it’s damndest to make it seem like Desmond is whiny (because he wanted breaks from a machine literally destroying his sanity and wanted to be treated with respect) naive (because how dare he choose his own life, when that is literally the most important things that Assassins fight for), and only being worth something once he got into the animus (which is fucked up that Desmond losing his mind and being used as a tool is ‘better’ than fighting to make his own choices about his life). The game narrative paints Desmond with a less than impressive brush when they have an incredibly interesting character that was also so selfless that he chose to die in order to save the world, and even then! He’s shown to the audience getting cut the fuck open like his story didn’t fucking matter! Like he didn’t matter! AGH!
Sorry, that particular thing about the autopsy is great when I incorporate it into the ProtoCreed rewrite, but in canon they left Desmond behind without burying him or anything to be scavenged and have his body disrespected by Templars that then use his DNA for video games. Like that is so fucked up to do to your main character and then never mention him until a literal decade later, like what the actual fuck. Glad he’s back as the Reader, because it gave me hope for Desmond’s story and fueled me to start writing the ProtoCreed AU but like holy shit bro.
Anyways, I love everyone’s tags and it always made me smile when I saw this post getting y’alls opinions in the tags and reblogs. Thank y’all!
y'know something that annoys me about assassins creed?
they always make it seem like desmond wasted his life away after he left the farm to become a bartender, that he wasn't fit to be an assassin until he was training in the animus, and that he didn't have any ambition (as said by William in the AC3 remastered opening)
but like. none of that is true. at all
I mean I was just looking at the wiki to see Desmonds accomplishments and bio and apparently it was Daniel Cross that brought him into Abstergo. which. kinda puts Desmond skills in perspective
Daniel Cross was considered the most successful Templar member and, before Desmond, had a really great track record with his missions. Save for the ones that involved PoEs
they had to send him in to get Desmond
also Desmond managed to stay hidden from the assassins AND templars for 9 going on 10 years, since he was kidnapped on like August 30 brought in for the animus September 1, and the only reason he got taken in was due to them getting his fingerprints from the DMV
like. That sounds stupid but think about it. If he was going to the DMV he had to have an entire false identity in order to use a license, bc you need proof of birth, SSN, and multiple legal documents
he just. had that made on the run. Like that actually takes skill or connections or both to be able to effectively be in the system without being found with fake legal papers
And he DID have ambition: he wanted to live normally. Yeah its not some big dream or anything but he managed to stay hidden from two secret shadowy organizations that is all over the world in order to make it happen. that's determination and he only got caught due to his fingerprints being matched
and he easily fights off the abstergo agents in the opening of the first game. I'm not saying that Desmond was near as good as Ezio or Altaïr or Connor at this point, but he can clearly defend himself very well. at the end of AC2 he has no qualms with killing, he just does so with the hidden blade.
look, all I'm saying is, at the very least Desmond had to he quite skilled even before he started using the animus
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Investigating Patient 46 (Part 2 - Figuring Out the Specifics)
For anyone confused about why I’m going on a investigative tangent about Patient 46, here’s Part 1. Same disclaimer as last time: As much as I’d love to die on this hill, I have to got remain realistic and say that there’s a huge chance that I’m going to be wrong when Ruin comes out. Or when Tales from the Pizzaplex finally covers Vanny/Vanessa, if we get that far.
In case you don’t want/have time to read Part 1 (or the link isn’t working for some reason), however, here’s a recap. In Part 1, I used process of elimination to rule out some of Patient 46’s most popular suspects. I’m going to try to do the same here with “diagnosing” 46 and her circumstances/situation, but I bet this’ll lean more towards speculative stuff this time.
All right, so I’ve narrowed the patient down to Vanny/Vanessa’s “darker Hyde”. While this does free up some concerns about Gregory or Elizabeth, now we have new questions.
*Is Vanessa an Afton we missed somehow?
*Was the custody case even real in the first place or was it made up?
*If it is real, then who is the one with the dad named Bill? Is the dad even named Bill, or is that a red herring?
Let’s start off with the one that can actually get a more clear answer: Is Vanessa just some forgotten Afton kid who got the short end of the backstory stick, since we’ve already eliminated Elizabeth in Part 1?
Well, in one of the Scrapped AR Emails, Vanessa is listed as 23 years old with her birthday being in September. The emails would’ve probably also come out in late 2020 - early 2021, which means her birth year in the AR game would’ve been 1997. The William we know, as far as the FNAF general timeline is concerned, should’ve already had his death by springlocks several years prior.
Also, as Fuhnaff pointed out in his own huge theory about Luis and such, Steel Wool might’ve pushed the date that Security Breach and AR take place a bit more into the future. If this masquerade Easter egg is any indication, then Vanessa should still be 23 but with a birth year of 2012 this time. Which definitely rules out William being “Bill” entirely, since we’ve crossed off Elizabeth being involved in Part 1… Which also means Vanessa’s last name initial is a red herring and she��s something like “Vanessa Adams” or “Vanessa Atkinson”.
This leads to the inevitable question of “So, was the custody case even real in the first place?”
What I’m about to say is more of a story-writing nitpick, but here goes.
If it was completely made up, then why even have the characters bring it up in the first place?? It’d be kinda pointless to leave that detail in for people to find out, only to go “oh it was only a ploy lol”. I understand and even like the whole idea of Vanessa’s using it as a way to say that Glitchtrap’s mind controlling her. But there’s one gaping issue with that.
Both Patient 46 and Vanessa are rolling with the whole tragic backstory thing. The last therapist even points that out when confronting Patient 46 in the last tape.
“…it won't change the fact that none of what you said in your file about your parents was true. The truth is, you had great parents, a great childhood. Why did you lie?…”
Patient 46 had it on the therapists’ record that she had a tragic past, but that was a load of malarkey. And how would the last therapist know this?
…Why don't we talk about the research I did in your past, shall we? Some therapists think they should only focus on information they get from their clients but, some therapists, like me, think it's helpful to find out about clients from other sources…”
Which most likely means that this woman dug through court case records to verify 46/Vanny’s claims. Maybe even talking to family members close to Vanny/Vanessa to really double-check, if patient confidentiality’s not a thing for Fazbear Entertainment.
So, with this information, we can deduce that Vanessa never had that backstory in the first place but someone must’ve. If this court case is real, then who does this story belong to? And who exactly is “Bill”, anyway?
Well… We haven’t really touched on Glitchtrap/William himself yet. Let’s build up some proof that he can even hijack or communicate with Vanessa at all— Vanny aside.
We already know that Vanessa can talk to Glitchtrap through her introduction in Help Wanted’s Curse of Dreadbear DLC, that one early Security Breach trailer with Glitchtrap’s “when I first found you”, that ���stay the course” convo hidden in a line of code (can’t remember where it’s from off the top of my head sorry), and some deleted Vanessa dialogue from Security Breach itself. We also know that Vanessa is dealing with this struggle of following Glitchtrap‘s orders in FNAF AR’s December 2nd email, forcing Glitchtrap to look up “how to induce self-compliance” while in her body. In that same email, it’s reported by Luis that Vanessa looked up “help”.
The other emails— both scrapped and released— assist in confirming that Vanessa is starting to gain a second “personality” of sorts. Though, to be clear, it’s most likely Glitchtrap finishing the job he set out to do in Help Wanted: Escape through someone and wreck havoc on Fazbear’s yet again.
Going back to the CDs themselves, pay attention next time to how Vanessa talks in her CDs. A few times, she sounds very… off. Dazed and cold, almost as if she were mind-controlled. The FNAF wiki transcripts of these CDs even marks most of times as her talking “faintly”. So one could infer that she’s even being prompted (or even getting hijacked for a sec) to answer some questions ‘properly’.
Now that we’ve established Glitchtrap/William as a suspect, let’s get to the main topic: If he’s the one with the backstory, then who’s “Bill”? Isn’t “Bill” short for William? How could “Bill” be William’s Dad if they share the same name?
There’s two loopholes to that idea:
(1) The William we’ve been following is actually Bill Afton Jr., but he changed his name later in life. It’d be a weird twist, sure, but at least it’d clarify why we’ve never heard William being called “Bill” beforehand. Not even in the original book trilogy or Fazbear Frights, iirc.
(2) Considering that Vanessa mutters something after “Your dad’s name was Bill?” in CD 3, it could be that William/Glitchtrap was trying to argue that this dad’s name wasn’t actually Bill. Why didn’t he repeat himself or let Vanessa correct the mistake/red herring she made on her (and/or 46’s) file? No idea.
All of this speculative evidence points to this: William “Purple Guy” Afton/Glitchtrap, after so many years of dodging his childhood past, finally has to confront it thanks to Vanessa’s search history literally crying out for help. It’s a struggle involving many missing therapists, but at least William— or at least an AI variant of him?— admits to something the Silver Eyes’ own Calton presumed:
“…Before him stood someone who had spent much of his life fighting like a cornered rat that he had taken on the mantle of bitter sadism as an integral part of himself. He would strike out against others and revel in their pain, feeling righteously that the world owed him his cruel pleasures.”
Maybe not an exact one-to-one, given how much the trilogy and game Aftons differ, but one thing remains true: William had a rough childhood. Or at least a rough enough life to make the man snap as soon as tragedy struck again.
By the way, I’m not the first to come up with this conclusion. @partnersatfazbear and @hunting-at-least-69-witches brought this side of the story to my attention a while ago. All I’m doing is trying my best “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”/Clue-level deductive reasoning to see how to come to that idea with context clues and such.
Oh and uh… Sorry if I didn’t really answer the “Bill” question. I don’t think I can definitively answer that until something gets confirmed, which is a pain.
#fnaf security breach#fnaf theory#part 2#pond rambles#glitchtrap#william afton#vanessa fnaf#vanny fnaf#i’m betting there’s plot holes#but here’s what I’ve got#long post
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Demonic Intervention (Indruck)
Prompt for the 7th: “Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.” - The Tempest (William Shakespeare). This fill is NSFW
It can't get much worse.
Indrid is barely scraping by. He can count his friends in town on one hand. He’s gay in a tiny, rural community and one of the few men like him is a goddamn priest. His house is a mess. And his every waking moment is filled with the demons of his past or the devils lurking in his future. There are so many of them in his present too, roaming the streets of Kepler.
What’s one more in the mix?
He lights the stubby black candle by the bed, scratches the symbols on the floor, and retreats into his cocoon of blankets to wait.
--------------------------------------------
Duck hates when it’s his turn on the summoning shifts. All this ancient knowledge and power and he’s stuck waiting to see if some yahoo in a graveyard or a wannabe cult leader will call him up into the world.
He has brambles that need pruning, damn it.
His name isn’t well known among humans, so he only gets summoned if someone is just rooting around for a demonic entity without caring who they get. He’s only been summoned twice in the last hundred years. The tingle in his horns tells him it’s about to be three.
The room he arrives in is gloomier than any graveyard; the lights are off, the curtains are shut, and the place looks like it got hit by a tornado with a grudge. By the light of the candle, a pale-haired head emerges from the blankets of the small bed. A hand reaches for the floor, comes back with a pair of red glasses.
“Greetings, infernal one. Thank you for answering my summons.” The man’s voice is flat.
“Even demons got manners. So, uh, what’s the job?”
“There are so many dishes in the sink that the thought of doing them is an insurmountable task. Please do them for me.”
“...You realize I’m takin somethin’ from you for this, right? Like a piece of soul or a month of your life?”
“Mmmm” The man rolls over and says nothing else.
“A day of your life for this.” Duck feels like he should haggle more, but then he’d had to pretend he actually thought a higher price was fair.
“I accept your terms.” A crackle of green and black electricity flickers in the air in the form of Duck’s signature and the other man’s name: Indrid Cold.
“Pleasure doin’ business with you.”
Indrid says nothing. Duck is sure to wash and dry before he goes.
The next day he’s summoned to the exact same room, in the exact same state of depressing mess.
“Greetings, infernal one. Please clean this room.”
“Same terms?”
“Mmhmm” Indrid is just staring at the ceiling.
“You gotta say you accept.”
“I accept.”
Duck snaps, turning on the light, and gets to work. Technically he could do all this with a wave of his hand. But then he’d lose his chance to learn a little more about the guy who’s settled on demonic deals instead of a maid service. It’s the opposite of the usual problem he has in these kinds of situations, where the humans reveal their deepest secrets, desires, and fears within five minutes of meeting him.
The records he stacks near their player, the clothes all go in the hamper to be magicked clean, then are hung in the closet; they’re loose and soft, not a scratchy fabric to be found. Tarot cards and candles abound, as do art supplies, and under a pile of drawings he finds magazines featuring muscular, hairy men in various sexual positions. Some of them even look like his preferred human form, the one he’s wearing now.
He glances at the bed; Indrid is on his side, facing him, must have been watching him at some point but has dropped into a restless sleep. The blankets are slipping, showing a The Sonics tank top hanging off skinny shoulders. Right, that was one of the bands in the record stack.
Duck doesn’t tend to pry into souls or auras or shit like that; there are whole heaps of trouble that lay that direction. But as he flicks the dust from the bookshelf covered in paperbacks, he feels the edges of Indrids and nearly falls on his ass from the wave of exhaustion and loneliness.
When it’s time to go, he pauses to pull the blankets back up around him, sets his glasses on the bedside table, and turns the calendar on the wall from “September 1974” to “October 1974.”
When he’s summoned right back to Indrid’s room the next evening, he spots the same tank top on him as he sits up in bed.
“Greetings infernal one.”
“You can just call me ‘Duck’. It’s a nickname.”
“Oh” Indrid blinks, perplexed, “very well. I, ah, there are some bills that need to be paid to keep the lights on.”
“You need the money for them?”
“No, just for someone to fill out the forms and checks and put them in the mail.”
“Okay. But my fee’s a little different this time: you gotta tell me when you last ate.”
“I accept. I ate this morning.”
Duck snaps his fingers
“Two days ago!” Indrid yelps, then slaps his hands over his mouth. He glares, “why does it matter?”
“Because while I’m payin those bills, you’re eatin’ dinner.”
“Everything in the fridge is disgusting and I can’t go to the store.”
Duck takes the short trip out to the kitchen, opens the fridge to the new sound of Indrid’s footfalls behind him.
“You got lots of decent stuff in here; could make you some eggs?”
“No, thank you.” Indrid shakes his head, looking a bit ill.
“Well, what do you want? I can summon it up.”
“I’m out of Lucky Charms.” The humans says sheepishly, staring at his bare feet.
A fresh box of cereal appears on the table, Duck pulling out the half empty bottle of milk. He thinks back to the drawings he saw yesterday and conjures a bowl covered in a pattern of brightly colored moths.
He gathers the stack of bills of while hearts, stars, and horseshoes rattle into the bowl. After a few moments of crunching he hears, “May I ask a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Why is your nickname Duck? Does that word mean something else in demonic speech?”
Duck stuffs paper into envelopes, “Nah. It’s, uh, kinda silly but, uh, most demons learn how to take on an animal form. When it was my turn, they asked me which I wanted and, uh, I said I wanted to try bein’ a duck. Liked it so much I stayed that way for three months.”
There’s an odd, strangled sound that makes him look up; Indrid has one hand over his mouth and is shaking with little squeaks. He’s laughing.
“I’m, I’m s-sorry but, but I, I cannot get over the image of you as a little, feathery waterbird.”
Duck smirks, “Only part that ever gave me trouble was the quackin’; always came out too deep.”
He just manages to pull the envelopes back as milk comes out the human’s nose and he giggles uncontrollably.
“Ow, ow, heeh, oh g-goodness, I’m s-sorry I, I just haven’t laughed in so long, ugh, there’s milk on my shirt-”
“Guess you’re gonna need to shower now too.”
“Nono, I can just change-”
Duck waves the bills back and forth, “Uh uh, if you want me to actually put these in the mailbox, you gotta agree to shower.”
“But that’s changing the terms!”
“Demon.” Duck grins.
“Very well. Let me finish my dinner first.” Indrid scarfs the rest of the cereal, pads back towards the bedroom while Duck cleans the table. He waits to hear water running before going to the mailbox. When he gets back he sticks his head into the steamy bathroom.
“I’m gonna go now.”
“Oh, alright. Thank you again.” Indrid pokes his head out from the shower curtain and Duck resists the temptation to make the whole barrier disappear just for a peak. What can he say? He’s always liked his humans a bit unique looking.
He draws a special sigil in the steamed-up mirror and heads for home.
---------------------------------------------------
Indrid sets the candle on the table, lights it, adds the symbol he found in the mirror, and then starts unpacking his groceries.
“Lookit you doin’ chores.” The whiff of burnt pine needles accompanies Duck’s voice and draws the tension from Indrid’s shoulders.
“I’ll have you know I swept today as well.” Indrid turns and crunches the bag of potato chips in his fists; Duck hasn’t put his horns or claws away, and his shirt is half unbuttoned.
“Caught me while I was gardenin, which is why I ain’t as put together as normal. What can I do for you?”
“This may sound strange but, ah, what is the fee for just talking with you?”
Duck’s eyebrows shoot up and then he chuckles, “You’re full of surprises, little moth.”
Indrid touches the luna moth on his shoulder; how much had Duck studied him when he was here? Did he like what he saw? Does he give everyone he makes deals with nicknames that come out in a drawl like summer honey?
“Hows a little nibble of the old soul sound?”
“I accept. Ah, would you like some cookies? A friend of mine brought them over to me.”
“Sure. The fella on the fridge bring ‘em?” The demon indicates the picture of himself and Barclay, the one he can’t bring himself to throw away.
“No. My friend Dani, she’s in charge of the gardens for the little co-op in town and when the bakery has seconds she often drops them off for me.”
He really needs to stop staring at Duck’s chest, even demons probably find ogling rude. Duck’s eyes--one blue, one brown-- catch his own and suddenly claw tips are undoing the remaining buttons. Indrid goes pink but manages to get the cookies and two glasses of water on the table without incident.
“You know, you never told me why you stayed a duck for so long.”
“It’s the least demonic thing you’ve ever heard but, uh, I just thought it was nice. Bein’ out in the woods, paddlin’ on the lake and watchin the world go by. Sleepin under the stars. Just makes you feel like you’re part of somethin’ bigger than yourself. Now, I got a question for you; why go to all the trouble of summonin’ me just to do your chores?”
Indrid bites his lip, “I knew I was in the kind of mental place where I could not manage it myself. And it felt safer to ask you than to ask my friends. Not that they wouldn’t help me. It’s just, when my mind is like that it turns so inward I can’t conceive of a world that might contain things for me.”
The demon says nothing for a moment, sips his water with a thoughtful look. Then he sets down the empty glass, “Glad you’re feelin a little better.” He tilts his head to indicate the sketch on the counter, “that new?”
“Yes” excitement bubbles up in his chest, “I was reading about--ah, well, it’s, it’s sort of a long story, I don’t want to bore you.”
Duck kicks his feet up on the spare chair and gestures for him to continue. So he does, tells the demon about reading every book he could find on the mythology and folklore of the Mexico and the American southwest, about his new inspiration for a series of drawings, his worries that no one will like them or purchase them and he’ll be stuck running his little psychic side business until he dies
Duck, in turn, tells him about life as a forest demon, about his hellcat, and about the fact he routinely comes up to the human world for french onion soup because the stuff made in his realm never tastes right. When Indrid next looks at the clock, it’s well after midnight.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you so long.”
“No complaints here. But I oughta get home and feed Winnie before she shreds my cabinets again.” The demon stands, rounding the table, “gotta get my fee first.”
“Right. How should I…” Indrid stiffens as Duck bends forward, wondering if the sharp teeth that smiled at him all night are about to pierce his skin.
Warm lips meet his forehead and he sighs at the tenderness in the gesture. Duck, however, moans as he pulls back, then quickly covers his mouth.
“Uh, that, that’s a totally, uh, totally not, uh, un-normal reaction, uh, fuck, see you around.”
He’s gone with a campfire crackle, leaving Indrid to wonder how a demon can be such a terrible liar.
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“Sweet fuckin hell.” Duck gasps as his living room forms around him. His lips still tingle from kissing the human’s forehead, from the sheer force of the want and yes that came when he took that sip of soul. It’s never like that, never comes so willingly and eagerly, like the soul is searching for someone to look after it.
Technically, there’s nothing stopping him from zipping right back up there and pinning Indrid to his bed while he takes what the human seems so happy to give.
Duck takes five deep breaths, then ten, and then goes to retrieve Winnie from the cabinet she clawed her way into.
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When Barclay suggested Indrid find someone to confide in, Indrid’s going to guess he didn’t mean, “routinely invite a demon into your house to play cards or listen to music.”
Most times, Indrid isn’t even summoning him; they have two standing dates a week, plus a game night with Dani and her new girlfriend, Aubrey (who Duck seems to know but refuses to say more about how). Duck will sometimes drop by unannounced, and he hardly ever collects a fee these days. When he does, it’s always a taste of Indrid’s soul, taken via a kiss on the cheek.
Indrid would let him take it any way he wanted. He’s well past denying the fact Duck is type in all his forms, that he’s gentler than most humans, and that he’s so charming Indrid would eat out of his hand.
Duck even goes out with him, like the boyfriend he wishes he had. When he puts on his human form to accompany Indrid around town, he radiates enough residual, demonic energy that the people who normally make Indrid’s life a living hell stay far, far away. In fact, tonight is the first night in months he’s had something close to a disaster, and it was mostly an accident. He’s peeling his beer-soaked shirt over his head when he feels mis-matched eyes on his back.
“Have a little too much fun bartendin’ tonight?” Duck holds out his hand, rendering the shirt fresh and clean when it touches his palm.
“Some caveman hit on one of our regulars and would not back off when asked. She threw a full pint of beer on him and I happened to be standing right behind him when she did.” He wiggles out of his jeans, let’s Duck give them the same treatment he gave the shirt, “ugh, I need a bath, I smell like Rheingold.”
“Allow me.” Duck waves his hand and steam wafts from the bedroom, goes into it and grabs the bubble bath from under the sink as Indrid follows him in his underwear. Duck’s constant glancing at his crotch and legs makes him bold.
“What’s the fee for such excellent service?”
“No fee, little moth. I’m just doin’ a favor for my friend.”
“And what if your friend wants to repay you anyway?”
When the demon looks up from the tub, his eyes are glowing, “Only if he’s doin’ it because he wants to and not because he owes me.”
“I want to, so very badly.”
In a flash Duck is in the tub, beckoning Indrid to join him. Indrid tests the water with his finger just to be safe.
“Mmm, nice and warm.”
“Hellfire, sugar. Now get your cute ass into the tub or--oh fuck yeah.” Duck growls as Indrid strips and climbs in with him, drags him into his lap and traces his claws up his sides while Indrid yanks him into a kiss.Curious, Indrid reaches one hand up to rub the base of his horn, the dark brown curls like smooth bark beneath his fingers.
“Fuuuck” Duck groans, “feels like gettin a back-rub.”
“Then I better keep at it. Oh, oh my” Indrid sits back to admire the vines of green appearing in Duck’s skin, “you’re absolutely beautiful.”
“Kinky little thing, you like that I’m a demon.” Duck scrapes his teeth along Indrid’s shoulder, “that really why you summoned me? You were hopin I’d have my, uh, demonic way with you?”
“N-no, I, I, it’s no secret I’m attracted to you but I, you make me feel so happy, I’m so safe when I’m with you, and, and if all your care and affection towards me has been part of some malevolent plan please, please just tell me because I, I think I’m falling in love with you.” He kisses Duck with far more force than before, forestalling the inevitable confession that this was all just a game for his soul and his own, pathetic admission that he’s not sure that changes anything.
“Oh, sugar” Duck keeps brushing their lips together as he speaks, “First time I tasted your soul I knew I was fucked. Knew I wanted to keep seein’ you, even if you never gave me another goddamn thing.”
Indrid buries his face in Duck’s shoulder, letting out shuddery sighs as Duck pets his back. He’s never leaving this spot, Duck is just going to have to carry him about while he does his infernal business and his housekeeping.
“Tell me what you want, little moth.” Duck kisses the shell of his ear. It still tingles, even when his soul stays put.
“Please fuck me? Oh! Oh that’s very efficient and extremely strange.” He squirms in Duck’s lap as his ass turns slick and stretched, like someone has pulled four fingers from it.
“Do it the traditional way some other time” The curved head of a cock bumps his ass, “you wanna feel just to be sure you can take it?”
He flails in the water a moment, finds a warm, responsive shaft with four, bumpy ridges leading to the head. It’s no bigger than the one toy he splurged on during his last trip to the city.
“Yes, certainly, oh, oh, AHHhnnnn yes.” The cock is hotter than his body as it slides in and he wonders if it will just melt him from the inside out, if Duck’s cum will be just as warm, how it will feel on his tongue and down his throat when he drags the demon into his bed.
“That’s it sugar, take it all the way. Fuck, been jerkin off to the thought of you on my dick for months.”
“Nnngh” Is his eloquent reply, the ridges of Duck’s cock making his toes curl and his fingers dig into Duck’s skin.
“You like that idea, little moth? Knowin I could be out temptin anyone I wanted to and instead I was in bed thinkin’ about you?”
“Mhhmmm” He whines, the desire pouring off the demon wrapping around him and soothing his insecurities.
Duck slows the thrusts of his hips and his voice is gentle when he whispers, “Course I did; no one can compare to you, ‘Drid.”
“Ohgod, Duck, please, please, please, want to be yours, always yours-”
“Careful,sugar, that sounds like you’re anglin’ for an infernal marriage.”
“A, a what? OHhhhnnyes” He moans as claws knead his ass.
“It’s a special kind of deal where a human agrees to marry a demon. Soon as they’re dead, they go straight to their spouse, no other options provided.” Duck cups his face, holding it steady so he can look into his eyes, “but there ain’t no need for that right now; way I see it, we can do this like we were just two normal fellas for now.”
“But it sounds fun.” Indrid offers a teasing pout and gets an adoring kiss in return.
“Yeah? What if I tell you a lot of demons mark their spouses by piercing these” He pinches Indrid’s nipples, the pain making him bounce more determinedly on his dick. His demon growls, drops one hand down to thumb at the head of his aching cock, “pierce here too. Won’t even do it in public like you’re supposed to; do it at home so no one else will see just what a sweet, needy thing you are for me--whoah, fuck, did not expect you to cum just from playin with this nice dick a little.”
“V-very sensitive” Indrid gasps against the green swirls in Duck’s shoulder, his orgasm such a surprise he’s still registering it, hips twitching and tongue threatening to loll out of his mouth.
“Keep that in mind for next time. Might even bring a cage so you don’t cum too early and spoil my plans. Now, hold tight, little moth.”
Indrid clings to the warm bulk of Duck’s body as his cock pounds up into him, the demon easily holding his hips up and his ass open so all he can do is whimper and writhe on it. When he cums it’s hot enough that Indrid squirms
“Don’t hurt does it?” Duck pets his sides, concerned.
“Nono, it, it’s nice, just very strange.” Indrid winces as Duck pulls out, watches him wave his fingers to clear away the mess. When the demon makes no move to let go, Indrid looks up, “you really meant what you said? About wanting me as a boyfriend?”
“Damn right I do. Now c’mere, lemme get the beer outta your hair.”
Indrid hums as Duck scrubs his scalp and runs warm water over his skin, talking all the while about how they should go camping as a first date so no one will bother them, says he’ll even turn into a duck to make Indrid smile.
Indrid says he knows just the spot, let’s his boyfriend dry them off and bundle them to bed and then, for the first time, falls asleep with a devil in his arms.
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@mew4-ever18
Deductions based on psychology help I’m not Sherlock Holmes I’m not a criminal profiler (and criminal profiling is notoriously a sham anyway).
lmao
Anyway.
Point the first: Liam is a child
He’s just. Childish.
Liam was a weird, quiet, very smart little kid who was unusually advanced for his age, but “smart kid” is not the same thing as “adult.” Liam is kind, Liam is smart, but that doesn’t mean he is mature.
(I know he’s only 24, and if he survives he still has time to grow up, but still)
The entire plan in The Final Problem is something a seven year old comes up with. And he did! He came up with it when he was like seven! It doesn’t account for people being real humans and not his little puppet action figures.
And then he never changed his mind or adjusted it as he grew up. Because I’m not sure he did, not really, not internally. He never planned on living as an adult. Why did he need to mature?
He does not know how to function as an adult in society. Oh, sure, he has a job, he pays bills, he takes care of people (kind of...? Louis actually does most of the chores around the house, come on. William passes out on couches with his tie and waistcoat still on. William has never been spotted doing chores and couldn’t read a map in volume one and showed up too late to do chores).
He’s reckless and single-minded and stubborn and selfish in weird ways. He has the communication skills of a rock. And he has never indicated any interest in examining or improving on any of that. Everything is black and white and only changes as he moves it in his little world. Why bother; he’s going to be dead soon, he doesn’t have to learn how to compromise.
He is not taking responsibility for his own actions and is trying to run away from it all, and even Sherlock, who is also a childish 24-year-old, tells him this. These are not the actions of a mature adult. They are the actions of an immature jackass, or, in Liam’s case, someone who hasn’t finished growing up (because he’s not a jerk, he would never want to be a jerk--and yet).
The world is not a stage, Liam, stop trying to pretend it is.
Point the second: Liam is a dick
Mostly, this was how I chose to word the trait that is really more accurately described as “petty” but he does some things to other people that aren’t necessarily hurtful but are just like...dude why
He gives his student impossible problems and seems to think that’s fine (it is not fine, go fall off a waterfall). He gives Sherlock a zero on his test and has the most delighted smile I’ve ever seen on his face when he did. The sheer glee of it. He cheated in his game against Sherlock on the train and is perfectly content with that decision. He showed up in his students’ dormitory without warning knowing it would panic them.
I want to also include his mocking the grapefruit guy in here because while that guy kinda deserved it, William’s theatrics were Out of Hand in that one.
Point the third: Liam is kinda sulky
This is a bit less pronounced than the others. But no one else in House Moriarty seems to have his streak for drama (except possibly Albert and even then...).
Moran wants to kill Sherlock, William’s like no no there’s a play. And Moran is just like ...what?
Louis thinks playing with Sherlock on the train is stupid and William repeatedly has to talk him into letting Liam do what he wants because he’s trying to have fun here, Louis, stop.
Louis thinks the entire Merchant of London scheme is stupid (it is stupid) and William is like no, it’ll work, I have plan! And Louis keeps complaining (because Louis has a brain cell) and William keeps insisting on going the dramatic route and just. Absolutely refuses to be dissuaded from his plans when other people think they’re foolish (see again, re: is an actual literal child in an adult’s body).
He has this little pout sometimes when his plans are being interrupted by someone and it’s just--
Okay, darling.
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