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tawneybel · 2 years ago

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Wednesday Season 1 Review

Song of the day: “808s and Goth Bitches” by KIRAW. Wednesday isn’t a goth bitch. I am, though.

It took me a while to finish all eight episodes. And even longer to get around to posting a review. Let’s start off by saying Wednesday surpassed expectations! Not that I thought it would suck.

People are okay with the original Addams Family comics being adult-oriented. (Not as in X-rated. Being published in The New Yorker.) They’re okay with the kid-friendly adaptations. But a spinoff primarily for teenage girls? Stop the presses!

I was first acquainted with the Addamses through The New Scooby-Doo Mysteries. Might post a Scooby-Review someday.

The PG-13 film duology was watched in preparation, so I was expecting some exemplar dark comedy. And Wednesday was full of it! Wednesday made me want to give The Addams Family 2019 another chance, too.

I took notes while watching, then went back and added some thoughts afterwards.

Wednesday’s Child Is Full of Woe

Another show where adults play teenagers. Tyler Galpin’s actor Hunter Doohan is like twenty-nine now.

Already it has some great lines (e.g., “Like electroshock therapy without the satisfying burn”). It’s more inspired by the aforementioned live-action films than the comic or other adaptations. Or so I assume, based on my limited knowledge of them.

I know fans say the Addamses aren’t technically supernatural, “goths are just like that,” but it actually explains a lot. Cousin Itt, Thing, possibly Calpurnia… their extended family in general.

The duology with Christina Ricci didn’t have Wednesday’s narration. It’s nice to see her uniquely creepy and kooky perspective. Her exile to Nevermore Academy reminds me of how Gomez and Fester went to that camp for juvenile offenders.

Wednesday is sassy to her parents, which some reviewers complained about, but it makes sense. She’s a teenager. Although there still is some Dawson casting. Ricci!Wednesday is a preteen.

Adaptations, spinoffs, etc. don’t have to be for every fan of a franchise’s previous works. Again, the comics were published in The New Yorker. Which, while “sophisticated,” isn’t family-oriented.

Unlike other goths, I don’t want to be Wednesday, whose rudeness is amusing. (I really wouldn’t want to hang out with her or her relatives irl, either.) Despite that, they’re all still highly likable as characters. It’s still super easy to empathize with Wednesday at times. Totally understandable why she’d be pissed off with Enid admitting to kinda cyberstalking her.

I respect Wednesday’s devotion to gothiness. She’s not a tryhard. She succeeds. Both her and Enid could easily have come off as annoying, but are highly likable. Enid would fit in with Teen Wolf’s main pack, probably. No transformation? No problem. She doesn’t just have retractable claws, she has manicured, multi-colored ones.

It initially felt like an odd decision to make Nevermore’s cliques vampires, werewolves, telepaths, and sirens. Kind of like a live-action Monster High, only watchable. The only main question this episode left me was, “Why were the Pilgrim World employees rude to the sheriff’s son?”

Woe Is the Loneliest Number

The carousel’s brakes broke at Wednesday’s eighth birthday party? I want to see one of hers or Pugsley’s birthdays so bad. D: This episode features another gothic event, Nevermore Academy’s annual Poe Cup. Seemingly inspired by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry’s four houses, their inter-house Quidditch matches, and the Triwizard (plus Harry) Tournament.

Thankfully I read His Hideous Heart: 13 of Edgar Allan Poe’s Most Unsettling Tales Reimagined last year. It’s twenty-six Poean texts in all, including the source material. Didn’t have “The Black Cat” or “The Gold-Bug,” though.

“The Black Cat”: Like standard black cat costumes you’d see on Halloween, only a bit cooler.

“The Cask of Amontillado”: Edgy harlequins, like from a joker card.

“The Gold-Bug”: I only read this story once years ago and it was in a more child-friendly anthology, so probably condensed. The original had a really stereotypical black character, though. So I can understand why people would be upset Bianca was team captain. It might also be a reclamation thing on her part. I didn’t mention her earlier, because I thought she’d turn out to be a typical bully, but Bianca’s actually cool. Not sure why some of the fandom labeled her a villain.

“The Pit and the Pendulum”: Are the Hufflepuffs, obvi.

There’s something about boarding school stories, supernatural or no, that are so fun. Anyway, this episode introduces the tomb of Joseph Crackstone. What a name. This is so Potter-esque. There’s also a cool botany class. Compare to Herbology with Prof. Sprout.

Uhh… what else? Headmistress, if you want the children to be “well-rounded,” you’re in the wrong Burton work. Wednesday! Don’t go near the apiary in dark clothes! She’s great. We have no way to know if she’s just messing with people or not sometimes.

Takeaway from this episode: Nevermore is a good successor to Hogwarts.

Friend or Woe

“Nightshades” is a cool name for a secret club, but there are other poisonous plants besides belladonna. As its members should know from aforementioned Botany. (While watching this, my dad sent me an article about herbal/mushroom teas, dangers of. First time I’ve heard of chaga, though.)

“Do you want a matching black eye?” -Wednesday to merguy. In hindsight, he might have been the first Addams Family character to be naked, besides Cousin Itt. Who hasn’t made an appearance so far. The act of giving double barrel black eyes is known as “raccooning,” btw. According to that one guy on Justified.

It’s nice to see that even though Jericho is “normie,” its thrift store Uriah’s Heap has taxidermy roadkill. Which could be considered more ethical than hunting for the sole purpose of stuffing.

I hope Netflix knows Puritans and Pilgrims weren’t the same. 🤨 Taking Addams Family Values into account, it’s unsurprising Wednesday’s unhappy about Pilgrim cosplay. Even if it’s in black and white.

Another callback to the ‘90s movies is her beef with GSUSA. “I eat Girl Scouts for breakfast.” What’s it with her and Scouts? I always felt bad for them because they’re expected to work outside in cold weather.

Wednesday realizing the girl in the Meeting House painting is Goody Addams is the most excited we’ve seen her so far, I believe.

“Whitewashing of American history,” “mansplaining…” (“Sexsplaining” flows better, imo.) I like how her social justice leanings are divorced from her general assholery. Like, she could be performative about it, but no, she’s genuinely pissed at injustice. And does something about it.

Woe What a Night

Wednesday was probably so, so happy to be in a morgue. More so than most macabre goths. Also, using a mortician’s recorder then actually getting to play deadly hide-and-seek in a mortuary cabinet!

Interesting ep for ships. Personally, I’m not picky about who Wednesday ends up with, or even if she ends up with any of the introduced characters so far. I thought she was going to volunteer Enid as a date to Xavier. Whose Rave’N fit made him look kind of like a hatless Doug Dimmadome.

“Give me a call if I ever move up your to-do list.” -Tyler Galpin. Cold. (Note, after finishing this season, I still prefer her with Tyler. :P) It was nice of her to include Eugene in her hunt for the monster, even if it was mostly because she utilized the apiary to store crime scene photos.

So Morticia’s maiden name is Frump? I kind of wondered if she and Gomez had a cousband thing going on. (Not my thing, just noting it.) *googles* Okay, I should’ve watched the TV series. The live-action one. I am woefully behind on Addams lore.

You Reap What You Woe

Ah, Gomez, smiling during his own arrest. Perhaps reminded of his juvenile offender days. Maybe.

Oh good, Eugene’s not dead. Yet. Janet referred to her son’s bees as his “fuzzy wuzzy babies.” 🥺 I hope this show sparked an interest in beekeeping for at least some viewers.

I don’t usually look great in yellow, but I want Bianca mom’s scaly coat. Glamorous family. Glamily. Again, she’s the protagonist’s rival, but not villainous. At all. She’s not worse than Wednesday, really.

Like her daughter, it makes sense that Morticia would have more than one admirer. Even back then, some people just really wanted a goth GF. I wondered if she thought his name was “Garrote” Gates. “His mistook her kindness for interest.” A tale as old as time. No Garrett, you stupid prep, get off the goth campus. >:(

Besides the identity of the monster, the biggest question so far is, “How many times has Gomez played Russian roulette with Wednesday if they’ve been playing since she was twelve??” Eating rattlesnake isn’t even that weird compared to what the Addamses usually do.

I’ve seen people complain that Wednesday had the family be Mexican when Luis Guzman and Jenna Ortega are Puerto Rican, but the keyword is “ancestor,” I guess. The whole werewolf conversion camp thing with Enid was even clunkier.

This is going to make me sound stupider than usual, but at first I thought “FIRE WILL RAIN” was a command. Like, fire someone named “Will Rain.” “FIRE WILL RAIN” is still an improvement over “ENEMIES OF THE HEIR… BEWARE.”

Quid Pro Woe

Enid’s outfits look so comfy. Between the fuzzy pink coat and her Rave’N outfit. Theme: Yeti? Without an actual yeti present? Disappointment.

Aw, she planned a surprise party and even Thing was wearing a tiny party hat.

@judge-m0rt1s and I really wanna see Enid go pastel goth and try to get Wednesday to embrace it. Their characterizations could’ve easily been annoying, but their dynamic’s cute. I felt a little bad for poor infatuated Tyler. With their matching snoods, I’m sure he suspected Enid and Wednesday were dating.

I still can’t get over how much of a name “Crackstone” is.

If You Don’t Woe by Now

Fester finally shows up! Aw, Wednesday’s smiling at her uncle. (If I ever rewatch this season, I’m going to keep a smile tally.) I’m used to Christopher Lloyd’s gruff voice.

“Group electroshock therapy.” Between her mention of ECT in the first ep, the taser, and Ricci!Wednesday’s use of an electric chair on Pugsley… Maybe Wednesday should become an electrician. Eh? Eh?

Penny’s Pooch Patrol is everything.

For someone who’s into Gothic lit, I haven’t seen much Jekyll & Hyde media. Hopefully this show also gets people into aspects of goth culture besides fashion. Besides Harry Potter and Teen Wolf, this show also reminds me a bit of NBC’s Grimm.

Aw, Tyler’s determined to get Wednesday to go out with him. I love how persistent he is, despite her warnings. At first I was really impressed by the crypt picnic date, projector and all, but I can’t get into Legally Blonde. But, oh, so Tyler’s actually a deranged monster? Nice.

(It’s still funny how the actor’s almost thirty.)

A Murder of Woes

Not only is Tyler a Hyde, he’s aware he’s a Hyde. And HE GOT CORRUPT. :D

I wish Bianca had used her siren powers to get Tyler to tell the truth while Wednesday had him chained up. Wednesday’s methods are crude. But she definitely has a strong sense of justice. She had a point, Weems!

I get not wanting the school to go, uh, but uh… Weems isn’t the greatest headmistress. (Cool character, though.) “I didn’t ask what she identified as.” You don’t identify as a Hyde! Francois just was one.

Marilyn (Laurel) had a weird MD/LB thing going on with Tyler. (I say “weird,” because she’s evil.) Morticia and Gomez are supposed to be the kinkiest.

When Wednesday’s the one bound to a chair.... “Kind of a déjà vu thing we got going on, huh?” “Except I won’t cry and whine like a child.” YOU TELL HIM, WEDNESDAY. She’s masochistic, and probably right.

Goody Addams… Goody’s supposed to be her given name, but Goody is an abbreviation of Goodwoman. Basically a Puritan honorific equivalent of Mrs.

Outcasts “stole” Crackstone’s land? Wednesday already got postcolonial. Don’t make her do it again. >:(

Hell yeah, Bianca, stab that undead mofo! Also, Eugene returns. With his bees! It was kind of funny seeing Laurel shoot at a swarm with a handgun.

In conclusion, Tim Burton redeemed himself with Wednesday, after a string of movies I didn’t particularly care for. I love how the show took common tropes but made them entertaining as heck. Like the whole bloodline/sacrifice/night of the (whatever) thing. Goody’s ghost healing her was a bit of a deus ex machina, though.

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mach-speed-extra · 1 year ago

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I made this because I lost a bet

If I won, my friend would’ve had to make a Tumblr account and write superwholock crossover fanfiction. If I lost (which is what happened based on the title), I had to go over Lily Orchard’s simple writing tips. Then we did double or nothing, where if I won he’d have to double the length of the fic (from 15 to 30 pages) and if he won, I’d have to make a second post talking about High Guardian Spice. For context, the bet was on who won a game of Mario Kart on the Switch played with the leg strap and motion controls

So I’ll begin with Lily Orchard’s writing tips. At least I get to add my own thoughts to this. I am writing this introductory paragraph before looking at her writing tips, so I don’t know how much I’ll agree or disagree (also I didn’t know anything about her until a few minutes ago when I did a quick Google search and if what I read was true, then what the fuck). At least I’ll be (probably) shitting on her. Also, it seems the original thread was deleted (or Twitter just sucks) but the tips were recorded on google docs which is what I’ll be using

Written after I finished: I didn’t need to add “(probably)” in the last paragraph

tw: rape mention

1. Don’t worry about spoilers: There is some truth to this in that good stories are still enjoyable on rewatch/ reread, but certain things are more enjoyable the first time. Reading a murder mystery is fundamentally different the second time because it goes from using the pieces to find a solution to analyzing how the pieces actually led to it. It’s like solving a math problem vs seeing someone else do it and following it step by step

2. The middle is the best time to put couples together: I don’t give a shit about romance in fiction. At best, a relationship is believable and developed enough that it serves as character motivation. As someone who has never tried (and likely never will) to put romance in his stories, couples usually get together off screen before the story starts. I then build the relationship like I would a close friendship or family bond, where the point of the couple is to have characters that care deeply about someone else

3. Friends to lovers is better than enemies to lovers: Refer to the point above. Also, fandom jokes about Negan slipping his dick down Rick’s throat and being thanked for it (actual line from The Walking Dead) are fucking great and one of the best things about the later parts of that show

4. Abuse victims healing does not equal redemption arc: I agree that they’re not synonymous, but she uses Zuko as an example which kinda defeats her point. Whatever the cause of a character being evil, a redemption arc is a character arc that leads to them no longer being evil. I don’t understand what she’s getting at

5. Heroes refusing to kill villains is bad: I’ll be using Rick Grimes as an example again. One consistent thing with Rick is that outside of times when his sanity is questionable, he’ll avoid killing villains if possible. He’ll do it if he has to, but that scene where he tells the Governor and his forces that if they stand down, he’ll happily take them in to his community is a perfect example of it (followed by them opening fire and all of the Governor’s men dying except for the one that stood down). Now, there is a difference between not killing and not punishing, but Lily doesn’t make that distinction

6. Lesbian enemies to lovers present in one scene in the finale sucks: I agree with this. She then says it’s “fetishized abuse and violence.” It certainly is sometimes, but I would not say this is an inherent (or even general) thing

7. Revealing information on Twitter instead of the story itself is bad: Depends. Hiro Morita revealing character ages on Twitter? Fine, because the actual ages aren’t relevant to the story. Just Kidding Rowling going on Twitter to say wizards shit their pants? What the fuck. Character birthdays being revealed in outside media (tie-in guide book, spinoff video games, etc) is fine if its not relevant to the story. Not revealing important information in the work itself sucks, but I don’t see it done often enough to warrant this take

8. If a character kills more than 10,000 people they’re not redeemable: Kill count is relevant to redeeming villains, but not the sole factor. This varies from person to person, but I say the most important thing is whether the villain is willing to put in the work to be redeemed. Do they put one foot forward and say “I’m gonna make this right?” I’d also factor in the cause of the killing (mind control or demonic possession for example). Were they aware of what they were doing? I wouldn’t say the titular protagonist from Ender’s Game is irredeemable because of his kill count when he didn’t know he was actually killing anyone. And 10k seems like such an arbitrary number but I’ll assume she just means “a metric fuck ton of people”

9. Tip 8 does not apply to characters if their villainy was character assassination: Huh? I genuinely don’t know what she’s trying to say here

10. Everything in a story is a decision made by the creator and justifying problematic elements with worldbuilding doesn’t work: At face value she’s right. Considering who it’s coming from I doubt her examples are good, but she does have a point

11. Don’t pair adults with minors: I have 2 things to say about this. The first is that Lily Orchard is not the right person to talk about this. The second is that it assumes all pairings are meant to be liked by the audience. Lolita wasn’t written with the intent of making readers like the romance. Toxic relationships exist in fiction for more reasons than I can count, and this tip is reducing fictional relationships to such a narrow, simplistic narrative purpose that it shouldn’t be said by anyone that ever took a literature class in high school

12. Don’t sexualize teenagers: I could be pedantic and say “um akshually nineteen year olds are fine,” but that would be worthless. Now, there are ways to make sexualized teenagers work, but it’s rare enough to see it pulled off well that I will give Lily a pass here. (As for how to do it well, that’s for another day but basically, teenagers fuck irl, and realistic depiction does not mean glamorization, though glamorization happens more often than it should. Also, don’t actually cast minors for fucks sake you pedo-ass fuckers behind Cuties)

13. Don’t use “actually a 6000 year old demon” to justify point 12: I don’t have much to say here that wasn’t said in the last few points. But the idea of an adult that looks like a child and faces issues specific to that context is an interesting story premise (ex: a 25 year old who magically reverses her body’s age on accident but not her mind and has to navigate her adult life while everyone treats her like a child)

14. Metaphors for queer characters is inferior to actually having queer characters: Depends on the story’s setting. A story set in Los Angeles in 2030 likely wouldn’t have queer character treated the same way as in 1930, so unless you do some worldbuilding to explain what cultural shifts happened until 2030, it’s not something you can realistically show. Then, a metaphor works better. Alternatively, a setting where queer characters are accepted but the metaphor is not (or vice versa) which serves to point out how arbitrary the distinction between “acceptable” and “unacceptable” minorities is

15. Confining queer representation to non-humans in a story where humans exist sucks: If I have a story about a bigoted human group that flies off into space to establish their own world (kinda like a metaphor for the Puritans) and they meet an alien race where queer people are accepted, it makes sense to confine queer representation to the aliens. I admit that premise is specific enough to not apply to many scenarios, but it shows how this rule can be easily broken with a scenario I came up with within 2 minutes of reading the tip

16. Fuck having the only gay man in your story be a “faupish diva:” I am currently writing a story about a guy that got a reputation for being extremely violent and decided to play into it because he’d rather have people be scared and stay away from him than deal with their shit. It’s fairly easy to make a gay character that actively plays into certain stereotypes because it prevents him from dealing with other people’s shit. All that you need is a setting where gay characters are kinda accepted but not fully (which isn’t that hard to make)

17. Fuck having the only lesbian be abusive, angry, and have a codependent relationship with the protagonist: Doesn’t the codependent relationship require at least 2 lesbian to be present in the work? Also, refer back to point 16

18. Fuck having the only enby be a non-human shapeshifter: Refer back to point 15 about a setting where [group] isn’t accepted by humans but is by other non-human societies

19. Fuck having the only autistic character be an “ethically-challenged number fetishist:” Refer back to point 16

20. Fuck having the only black character play into the “scary black man” trope: Refer back to point 16

21. Fuck having the only woman get barely any screen time and just be fetishized: I’d expand this to say “any character” rather than “only woman,” because this applies everywhere. It being the only woman is bad, but just because there are multiple women it doesn’t make much better

22. Fuck having the only trans woman be a drag queen: How many times will I say “refer back to point 16?” Also, a society that accepts gender nonconformity only as a performance (viewing gnc identities as characters the actors play) isn’t that hard to come up with

23. Fuck making a woman kiss her abuser: Me when villains to evil things [surprised Pikachu face]. Also, “acting like I’m in love with my abuser to keep up appearances in a setting where I’ll be demonized for stepping out of line so I force myself to throw away my dignity for survival” isn’t a bad protagonist idea

24. Fuck sidelining every poc character to focus on a white guy’s redemption arc: At face value it makes sense but how often does this happen to warrant an entry? I’m actually asking since redemption arcs happen for characters that were antagonists so it’d mean sidelining the protagonists which I don’t see very often

25. Fuck justifying horny designs with “sexual agency” and refer back to point 10: What? I’ll refer to one of my own stories, where a woman actively sexualizes herself after realizing that letting go of society’s notions of sex makes life in general more enjoyable. The entire point of it is exploring the possibility of a “sinful” life while maintaining morality, and how it’s very much possible. This argument also assumes the only reason to include horny designs is to get off to it, ignoring the fact that the exploration of human sexuality is an actual thing fiction can do

26. Fuck justifying horny designs by saying “I’m horny:” This isn’t even about writing

27. Don’t worry about planning. No writer actually plans everything: I literally do. I create what I call “the encyclopedia” where I list out everything. Every character, their relevant information, relationships, etc. It also includes things like maps of cities (real or fictional), the layout of buildings, the make and model (and mods when applicable) of the main character’s car, and more. Not every writer does this, but many do (and if you make it up as you go along, please review it because it’s likely an unpolished first draft that needs revising)

28. Don’t try to be Avatar: I don’t even know what this means. Now, I take inspiration from other works. Every writer does. Just don’t try to replicate someone else’s work. Every writer has their own style, and combing your own style with your inspiration is what makes a work good

29. Low stakes interpersonal conflict is more engaging than high stakes: Why not do both? An interpersonal conflict that escalates until it becomes high-stakes isn’t exactly a rarity. Now I’m gonna plug in a JoJo reference and say that Jonathan and Dio’s relationship in part 1 is a perfect example of what I mentioned. And I can look at The Walking Dead and say that the interpersonal conflict involving Maggie and Negan in season 11 is nowhere near as engaging as the Saviors arc from the second half of season 6 to the season 8 finale. That’s because the interpersonal conflict mainly stagnated and we spent a lot of time with the conflict neither escalating nor deescalating, while the tides of the Savior War were constantly changing and there were many moving parts

30. Choose either comedy or drama and stick to it: You can have both a comedic episode and a serious episode as long as you set up the plot well enough. It’s really not a problem. Going back to JoJo, the episodes with Boingo are comedic, but the Vanilla Ice fight certainly isn’t. Or for a more condensed moment, Lisa Lisa’s backwards cigarette. We see Caesar die, Joseph cry, and Lisa Lisa light a cigarette stoically. Joseph then points out she has it backwards, prompting a light chuckle from the audience before we collectively go “oh” at the realization that she’s so distraught she can’t even light a cigarette properly

31. Don’t overdo it on worldbuilding: I understand that pulling away from the action to focus on worldbuilding can be boring. I also tend to include a glossary of fictional terms at the end of my stories detailing the information that isn’t relevant to the story itself (ex: the sci-fi story has a spaceship. The glossary goes over the history of the design and its notable uses)

32. Characters come before anything else: Well written characters push the plot forward in interesting and engaging ways. A well written plot forces the characters into situations that either cause them to progress or give us (the audience) more insight into a character. Characters are dependent on the narrative elements around them to function

33. The protagonist should not be a vessel for the antagonist to hog the story: I’m not sure what she means by this. She mentions villain protagonists but I don’t see what she means by “a vessel for the antagonist.” I guess it’s about sidelining the protagonist in favor of the antagonist? Even then, a protagonist being used to make the antagonist more interesting isn’t bad

34. Fuck not having perspective shifts: I don’t know if she means characters (which is easily countered through first-person stories like memoirs, diaries, etc) or if she means thematic perspective (which is countered by the fact that static protagonists who change those around them exist and aren’t inherently bad)

35. Writers, and not story boarders, should write: Yeah, and the actors should act, the director should direct, and the sound designers should design sound. She’s not wrong, but this advice is completely worthless

36. Fuck will-they won’t-they: Agree, but I give negative 2 shits about romance anyways

37. Making a romance tropes gay doesn’t improve it: I’ve never seen anyone say it makes it better

38. “We need more lesbian noncon” is a bad take: Huh? I don’t see the point in this piece of advice. Is this an actual thing that is common enough to include here?

39. Fuck women who fetishize abuse in media: Relationships are narrative tools that don’t have any inherent morality to them. I admit fans can be annoying as hell, but that’s not something the creator should be concerned about (unless it’s your job and that’s how you pay rent)

40. Don’t listen to abuse fetishists: I’ll take this a step further. Ask yourself why do you write. I write for myself, for the catharsis of exploring different parts of the human experience. If someone doesn’t want to read that, they don’t have to, but I won’t stop writing. If you write to engage an audience, then you do what you can to engage the audience. It comes down to purpose (writing as a hobby for myself vs writing as a job and you need to sell books vs writing as a hobby to share with the world). Some purposes let you alienate readers. Others don’t

41. Never write rape victims as villains: I made a villain protagonist who was a rape victim. His story is that he tracked down the woman who raped him and killed her, but realized that didn’t cause his trauma to go away. So he doubles down and starts murdering anyone who he suspects of being a rapist (even when there’s no evidence other than a hunch). Is there an issue with this? Because I find the idea of a victim who becomes a villain due to the lack of a proper support system to be more about the failures of our system than about the villain himself

42. If straight men hate a character but lesbians love them, they’re a great character: Not writing advice and also pulled out of her ass

43. Fire any writers who have a certain take on Infinity Train: I never watched Infinity Train so I can’t respond

44. Solve love triangles with polyamory: Or don’t have love triangles if you can’t make them work

45. If a male character is called a simp for respecting women, they’re great: Refer back to point 42

46. Disregard “Mary Sue” criticism: The term “Mary Sue” is so loosely defined that criticism using it is about as useful as “it was bad.” Still not writing advice. I have made attempts at defining “Mary Sue” but eventually came to the conclusion that writing a paragraph explaining why a particular character is bad is better than using a vaguely defined buzzword

47. Emotional vulnerability doesn’t make a female character antifeminist: Do people really claim otherwise? She’s not wrong, but I don’t think this needs to be said (but I don’t use Twitter so idk)

48. Goblins are inherently anti-Semitic: I took all of 10 seconds to come up with a subversion of it. Picture a fantasy world where Jews are discriminated against and goblins exist, with anti-goblin groups comparing goblins to Jews (which then raises questions with Jewish discrimination and how it’s so acceptable in the setting that the characters don’t bat an eye because they’re used to it). This idea can be expanded upon to other groups. Using a real life example, “transgenderism is a mental illness” is rooted not only in transphobia, but also in ableism, and this story idea lets you tackle multiple forms of bigotry at once

49. Making bigoted tropes “work well” is missing the point: Metacommentary on bigoted tropes isn’t missing the point. It’s literally pointing out the issues with them in the first place, while often showing how/why these tropes can be seen in reality (whether it be selection bias, a self-fulfilling prediction, or otherwise). Most bigoted tropes can appear to be true irl on the surface, and being able to look at what makes the bigotry superficially convincing while pointing out its deeper flaws that aren’t immediately visible is certainly not a bad thing

50. Writing a relationship around a particular dynamic or trope is bad: She’s right but only if you confine yourself to that trope or dynamic. It can be used as a springboard for something great. Understanding established tropes and playing around with it is what led to Don Quijote

51. Don’t tone police criticism: Not writing advice

52. Don’t tell your fandom to stop fighting: Not writing advice

53. Don’t say every headcanon is valid: I’ll do you one better. Never interact with your fandom. Most of it is probably shit. Also not writing advice

54. Speak up against toxic people in your fandom: Refer back to point 53

55. Forget about fanservice: Agree. Just fucking write and ignore what readers think (assuming it’s a hobby and not your income. If it’s your income write whatever pays the bills)

56. If your fandom is dominated by shipping, it means your character dynamics are the most interesting part: Don’t look at your fandom. Ever. Fuck your fandom

57. If there’s “too much negativity,” there’s a root cause for it: Again, fuck your fandom

58. Cancel culture isn’t real: Didn’t Johnny Depp lose roles because of false allegations? And, reiterating this yet again, fuck your fandom. Also not writing advice

59. Own up to mistakes and don’t make excuses: Fuck your fandom. Actually. Ignore their existence. Also not writing advice

60. Forced diversity isn’t real criticism: Outside of historical context, forced diversity is a meaningless term. And yet again, fuck your fandom

61. Never include reclaimed slurs: My faggot ass made a character who always says “my faggot ass” and the story was better for it. “I dragged my faggot ass to the middle of bumfuck nowhere" is a good line of dialogue because of how it reflects the character and his views on things

62. Oppressed groups fighting back aren’t villains: They’ve been heroes in a thousand stories and villains in a thousand others. This is such a broad concept that you can have them fall anywhere on the hero-villain spectrum and make it work. What about an oppressed group being taken advantage of through misinformation telling them they’re fighting against their oppressors and not for them? That’s a cool idea I might use

63. Heroes who don’t kill being indirectly responsible for future villain acts is an interesting story idea: It is interesting but based on the previous 62 tips, I would not trust her to write it

64. Fuck not having poc in a fantasy work: Every element that deviated from the real world needs worldbuilding. Anything that doesn’t have worldbuilding tied to it should align with reality, so by all means include poc in historical periods they weren’t in. Just say “alternate history migration,” but address it. As a bonus, a vague fictional migration that isn’t detailed enough to be put under real scrutiny will, at worst, amount to nothing, and at best make readers appreciate your fantasy world a little bit more. If it’s a completely different setting from reality (like the galaxy in Star Wars) you don’t even need to address it. So outside of historical contexts, Lily is right here

65: Sexual tension and chemistry are not the only things in a relationship: Agree. The primary factor in a fictional relationship is what each character is willing to do for the other (which makes “my partner’s safety/ happiness/ etc” into a character motive)

66. Best potential romantic partner is the best friend: Hard disagree. Friendships irl aren’t “romance waiting to happen,” Platonic relationships exist, and both in my works and irl are some of the strongest I’ve had (granted, my stories lack romance so I don’t have the best sample)

67. “I don’t want the character to be defined by relationships” is stupid: When your character only exists in relation to others that’s not a character. That’s an extension of other characters. What is their relationship with themselves? That question should come first. Then you ask about relationships with others. Put simply, I, as a person, am not merely “[my dad’s name]’s son,” or “[my brother]’s brother.” I am those things, but those descriptors don’t define me

68. If you don’t want a character remembered by a romantic subplot, don’t make it the finale: If you dedicated time to a subplot and don’t want it to be greatly remembered, don’t include it in the first place

69. Slow burn doesn’t mean taking forever to get together: Refer all the way back to point 36

70. Sexual awakening is not a character arc: Hard disagree on the basis that, going back to point 25 where I mention one of my stories, a woman’s sexual awakening being the catalyst to break free from societal ideas to become a happier person is a character arc

71. Fuck boob armor: Boob armor is stupid from a practical perspective, but a character saying “I use it because I like the look” is a good enough justification for its inclusion. And in some ways it adds realism because if I could wear boob armor irl I certainly would

72. Bow and arrow are strength weapons, not dexterity weapons: True, even if not very relevant for writing as a whole. But I will say, Soul Knight’s 40m Long Blade requires more strength to wield than most bows

73. Avoid tokenism by having multiple characters: If you need a band-aid solution for tokenism, your story has deeper issues

74. Increase diversity by only one having straight, one white, and one cis character (or one character that’s all three): If you need this tip for diversity, your story has deeper issues

75. Don’t be afraid of failure and backlash: I agree. Fuck your fandom

76. Poc and queer characters can exist without the story talking about bigotry: She’s right, but this is one of those basic things that I wouldn’t call writing advice

77. Wanting the audience to have fun is good: If you write as a job, yes. As a hobby, you choose why you want to write. Personally, I don’t think about the audience at all when writing, but that’s just me

78. Slice of life is more popular than action/ adventure: Look up the wikipedia list for top grossing movies of all time. And for best selling manga of all time. This is blatantly wrong and also not writing advice

79. Don’t cram every idea into your story: Agree, and it’s a genuinely good tip for beginner writers

80. D&D alignment charts don’t work outside of D&D: Any game will simplify it’s character creation for the sake of being playable. It’s not just D&D. Though alignment charts aren’t bad as long as they’re paired with more things to make the character

81. Fuck Rocky Horror Picture Show: I don’t know enough about the creator of it to confirm nor deny her claims that it was made by a terf. Either way, not writing advice

82. Don’t call queer character queer: My faggot ass is queer, and when I make a queer ass faggot character, their faggot ass is also queer. Get over it

83. Rape is unforgivable: Irl? Definitely. In fiction? Write your world with its rules. What are the laws in it? Social norms? How do characters feel about it? If we have a dystopian world where rape isn’t considered bad and a character engages in it because they’ve been told their whole life it was ok to do, how accountable should we hold the rapist vs the system? That’s yet another cool story idea that explores how we should address large cultural issues and hoe responsible any one individual is for reinforcing the system. And if you can’t blame any individual, who do you hold accountable?

84. Sex scenes are unnecessary: Going back to the woman with the sexual awakening, the sex scenes are important. It’s her indulging in so many things she were taught were wrong and realizing how much happier she feels afterwards while also growing spiteful of the people who spent years keeping her down

85. Vulnerability is not a character flaw: Who ever said it was?

86. “Peak tv” means “addiction-fueled misery porn:” Huh? What? Also not writing advice

87. Addiction-fueled storytelling relies on keeping audiences hooked on what happens next: Audiences only care about what happens next when they’re invested in the story already. The Walking Dead lost a fuck ton of viewers after the season 7 opener, despite it starting off one of the storylines that relies the most on twists and turns in the series. Viewers cut their losses

88. Game of Thrones and Steven Universe were only as long as they were because of sunk-cost fallacy: Not writing advice and also pulled out of her ass

89. Continuity isn’t the most important thing: Consistency matters. Consistency is what keeps the illusion that is a story from shattering in front of our eyes. We know fiction is fake, but we’re happy to pretend it’s real while we read, watch, or play it. But we can only pretend as long as consistency is present

90. “Too political” isn’t real criticism: Agree, but this goes back to fuck your fandom

91. Little Mermaid and Cinderella are more feminist than Beauty and the Beast: Not writing advice, and I don’t have any of these movies in my recent memory so I can’t comment on this unless I rewatch them

92. Change a trans character’s pronouns the moment they realize they’re trans: Not a bad idea, but not the only one that works. First-person narration for example is a notable exception. One other exception in my works includes a trans woman who the narrator refers to with she/her pronouns in scenes when she’s alone but uses he/him pronouns in public until she comes out and the narrator switches to exclusively using she/her

93. You don’t have to justify story decisions unless it’s harmful or bigoted: This is true assuming writing isn’t your job. I still justify every story decision because I want everything to have an underlying reason, but that’s just my style

94. Vampires and werewolves aren’t queer-coded and work better as metaphors for the aristocracy: You can make vampires and werewolves anything-coded and with some effort make it work fairly well

95. Some of the best stories were written out of spite: True, but not writing advice. The Divine Comedy (specifically Inferno) is just Dante going “ha, I’ve portrayed you as the soyjack and me as the Chad” except “soyjack” is replaced by “damned soul punished in hell.” Don Quixote is Cervantes doing the equivalent of shitting on the MCU nowadays. But spite alone won’t make writing good. Both Dante and Cervantes are masterful writers whose greatness comes from a number of factors, not only spite

96. No government system is inherently good or bad: In fiction, I agree. Any decent writer can make any system good or bad within a story. She uses irl examples but that’d be getting into my political beliefs of inherently bad government systems and that’s not what we’re here for

97. Lesbian being on good terms with ex boyfriend from before coming out is a cute trope: Yeah, it can be. Again, any decent writer can make this cute, creepy, happy, terrifying, etc.

98. There is functionally no difference between a close platonic and a romantic relationship: I won’t go into detail about my love life, but hell no. Touch some fucking grass

99. Normalize friends saying “I love you:” This can work when done by a skilled writer

100. If you write a 100-tweet long writing advice (debatable) thread, go outside and touch grass: I swear I didn’t read this before writing my response to point 98

Conclusion: Lily Orchard either lacks critical thinking skills or assumes her audience does. Either way, don’t take her advice. If this is the best she can do, she’d fail any literature class I took in high school. She should learn Spanish if she hasn’t already and meet my 12th grade Spanish literature teacher. She’d fail the class but she’d hopefully learn something

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lovemesomesurveys · 2 years ago

Text

What genre was the last song you listened to? Who provided the vocals? It’s an R&B song called, “Can We Talk” by Tevin Campbell.

Is there a certain song you've been listening to a lot lately? Well, I’ve had “I Like You (A Happier Song)” by Post Malone stuck in my head for awhile.

Who was the last person you congratulated or said "well done" to? What for? My brother recently. He got a promotion at work.

Is there something everyone is talking about at the moment that you have no interest in? Hmm. Not really that I can think of at the moment. Nothing that seems to be much of a nuisance anyway since I can’t think of anything in particular. I am also often out of the loop nowadays, so there’s that.

What was the last show you watched an episode of? Servant on AppleTV.

^And which character in that show do you relate to, or identify with most? I don’t really relate to any of them, but I’d say my favorite characters are Leanne and Julian.

Do you have any medical appointments coming up anytime soon? Yes.

What was the last book you read, and what did you enjoy about it? I’m currently reading, “The Girl in the Mist” by AJ Rivers, but prior to that I read “The Woman in the Woods” by the same author, but it’s a spinoff series based on one of the characters from the first book I mentioned. I’ve read several books by this author and I just really like the characters and the thriller/mystery aspect.

Do you say 'I love you' to anyone daily? No.

Do you know of any celebrities that share your birthday? Yeah, Lori Loughlin’s birthday is also July 28th.

Do you have any accounts for social platforms that you no longer use? Yeah.

How did you come up with your username for Bzoink? It’s “lovemesomesurvs” cause I obviously love me some surveys.

Do you own any clothes with an image of an animal on them? Yes.

Look around the room - can you see anything that's yellow? Yeah, a tube of Neosporin.

Do you know anyone named Vanessa? Tell me a little bit about this person. Nope.

What was the last movie that you saw for the first time? My mom and I watched the “Elvis” movie last night.

^And what did you think of it? I’m not like obsessed, but I liked it. Although, it did kinda feel like it was getting to be a bit long, but that could have been cause it was late for me and I was tired.

Who was the last person that asked to borrow something of yours? I don’t recall.

^What was it? --

Do you ever drink any fruit or herbal teas? What kind(s) do you like? Once in awhile I’ll have some peppermint or chamomile tea.

Have you ever watched any of the Hammer horror films? I don’t think so.

Have you heard anyone singing today, or has anyone sang in your presence? No.

What time will it be 2 hours from now? 4PM.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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3rddimension · 2 years ago

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Thanks for the wedding info! Knowing the exact is too far but thanks for the general answer, exactly how we should keep it! I assume it’s close friends and family as bridesmaids, and I think it’s super sweet that S is her plus one! I mean it’s expected but still plain adorable! I’m already imagining all those pictures and videos we’ll get from loads of people! I wonder if C will wear a dress? It’s not usually her style but should could do, I would have thought Kimmy would know what’s she comfortable in and would let her wear what she feels good in. If we get any pics of just S and C, I think I we’re all collectively going to freak out! Those pics are gonna be FIRE! In typical C style I can see her sneaking one of them into a multi photo post and not making a big deal of it! I’m just so happy for them!

Also slightly on a tangent but I’ve been toying with the idea about writing fanfic and I’m not sure still, I have never written for real people so I don’t know if it’s a good idea and I’m scared it’ll get added into the fanfic reads they do sometimes, not that they’ve done one in a while! What do you think? Of course it’s purely fictional and won’t be anything invasive but I think they’d be fun to write!

The info anon sent via ask is too much. Please read my pinned reminder on the blog other anon!

I can't wait to see both of their outfit too! We don't really get to see C wear a dress so hoping for it as well. I really hope they're wearing with the same theme too. If they upload a couple photo, we are gonna collectively scream from our lungs for sure. LMAO

After this it's section for fanfiction. So if anyone not comfortable to read. It's ok to skip!

In my mind the ironclad rule before writing RPF stuff would be that all the character that you wrote is all fictional character. Just remind that all the stories you wrote doesn't reflect real life and I think it should be fine!

If you're new to fanfiction writing. I recommend start reading and writing one-shot first. Try to limit to less than 1000 words should be a good start!

If you're just new to Shourtney fanfiction. I can recommend some of my favorite. Dept. of Weird Sounds is actually my favorite writer. I recommend start reading Milkshake Heart first. It's kinda AU with some reference to real Smosh video. Also it's hundred long chapter one and it's super good with multiple spinoff fanfic!

Also her one-shot is also awesome as well. It's mostly What If? stuff but she even got reference to real world as well like the infamous reflection incident, Shelby's Olive Garden birthday or even latest UTM.

I think all of their Smosh Theater stuff is from Wattpad I think. I actually think AO3 is the best place for fanfic at the moment. Also I don't really think they'll do Theater stuff anymore since the view is not that good.

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ridmymind · 3 months ago

Text

Hello there🌈

I hate ig rn and i was just wandering if tumblr could be better for my mental health.

Some random news. Sick AF, can’t properly walking.

I had a physical and a mental breakdown when my ex told me he was in a relationship as he continued to engage with me.

It was 7 months ago, i haven’t recovered yet.

I have panick attacks every time i saw his profile by mistake

Can’t believe he knew everything i had and still had the audacity to lie

He has some antisocial personality disorder and he s also… a beach

I disappeared from social media like lucy grey baird and i started playing ukulele and guitar again. You don’t know me.

I wrote several songs about how he was an actor and a liar✨

Everytime i post on social media like ig i feel sick cause i m scared he ll see and also he won’t see. So here I am. Cause i miss posting pic. There is some social media for photographers actually?

However i m into true crime and kinda horror but comedy tv shows. I used to be scared as hell but my life is so bad that horrors gave me some relief. Funny.

I watched scream queens. A true masterpiece. Love the chanels and hester as well💜💜💜

Chanel Oberlin is my spirit animal.

Such a good cast.

In these days i m currently into veronica mars and only murders in the building.

I watched the last season of umbrella academy. They butchered characters and plot so so sooo baaaad. I was furious. Five was like my favorite character. And they did dirt to robert character as well.

I enjoyed a goods girl guide to murder, both the tv show and the book

And i had an obsession with the hunger games spinoff, both the movie and the book.

I don’t have a new favorite song rn

Music makes me emotional.

I currently have my period

A random guy gave me something, like micosi and a not usual viral infection. And he had the audacity to disappear. Another one had cronic tonsillitis. This summer was a nightmare i swear I wouldn’t touch a single man. And the serious one… he constantly changed his tinder profile when he went to milan for work. And also he didn’t know bronchitis is contagious? Come on, they are all liars or they are all ignorant. I prefer to believe the first.

Breakfast is the only meal i enjoy.

Also i m feeling sick cause my friends gave zero faks about my 30th birthday.

I almost wish i gave birth to a son that will search me on that day, like in once upon a time

I don’t believe in friendship and I don’t believe in men and i don’t trust the government

Now i’m gonna eating my dinner, its almost 8 am.

Im a raging misandrist at this point

Wish everyone the best🩷

Also i was diagnosed with adhd and autism.

#chronic illness #the umbrella academy #tinder #raging rn #veronica mars #only murders in the building #a good girls guide to murder #crime podcast #pmdd #girl blogger #lucy grey baird #im just a girl #invisible illness #Spotify #scream queens #chanel oberlin #adult adhd #adult autism #neurodivergent

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dyhayc · 2 years ago

Note

could you please please please write this,literally everyone I've asked doesn't want to write my idea!

ok so basically reader x Eddie Munson. Reader and him are on the roof of reader's house,both looking at the sunset,when reader wants to try smoking for the first time. Also they're giving each other surprise birthday presents because their birthdays are 6 days apart. (Eddie's is first,then reader's is 6 days after)(Oh and Eddie gives reader a mixtape and a malachite ring to match it with her malachite necklace and reader gives him crystals and a lot of expensive metal casettes and he flips).

A lot of fluff,really. Oh and they're not dating,they just have the biggest crush on each other.

Title: Real Rings and Expensive Things

Pairing: Eddie x gn!Reader (fluff, mild angst)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Marriage Iguana (Marijuana), Eddie And Reader Are Stupid Idiots, Reader Is Down BAD (And Also Super Impulsive)

A/N: While thinking up ideas for this oneshot, I became enamoured with the characters I created. I think I’m going to make this an entire AU, but I don’t want to make the original anon uncomfortable, so this specific oneshot will be a spinoff and not canon in the universe. Most of my ideas aren’t relevant to this piece anyways, so I hope it’s okay!

I didn’t explain it in the oneshot, but the reader was adopted by a super rich couple. Also, I changed the request a tiny little bit. You freak out more about your gift than he does for his, but there’s a good reason for it. I hope you like it, anon! <3

By the way, I know absolutely nothing about crystals, so I kinda glossed over the crystal part. I didn't want to make any mistakes so I made it as vague as possible!

Masterlist

The sun is beautiful, golden rays barely peeking through the dense trees behind your house. Birds fly in the distance, most likely Sandhill Cranes– they call the wetlands beyond the line of trees home. Clouds dot the sky, perfectly framing the sunset in pink and purple hues.

All of this natural beauty, and yet, the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen is sitting right next to you. Eddie Munson, with his unruly curly hair and big doe eyes, has the most important star in this solar system beat.

He’s looking out, lips slightly parted in wonder, as he watches the horizon. Your heart clenches at the sight even though you’ve seen him thousands of times. He’s been hanging out with you since literal birth, his face is in photos posted all around your house, and he spends almost every Saturday with you. But, still, there’s something about his face that takes your breath away— every single time.

God, he’s so pretty. You desperately wish you could tell him. Sober, that is. Sometimes, when he’s so fucked up he can barely walk, you whisper the things you hold back. You’re not sure if he remembers or can even comprehend your words through the fog of his high, but you find comfort in the fact that somewhere, hidden deep in his brain, Eddie may know you love him.

Impulsively, you speak before your brain can stop you. He has to know. He needs to know.

“Eddie, I-”

But you choke, frozen like a damn deer in headlights.

He’s turned his head. Looking into his eyes, you’re consumed by an ocean of brown— hundreds of shades, highlighted by the golden sun setting to his right. The depth of his stare cuts deep into your heart, and you see adoration, and kindness, and warmth. Things that most people never bother to see or even look for within him. The grim reality hits: you’d never be able to ever emotionally recover if he rejected you.

What if he only sees you as a friend? Or worse, a sibling. Your parents basically adopted him, too, all those years ago. It wouldn’t be surprising if he saw you as family and nothing more. Would he stick around after you’ve confessed despite the awkward air when he rejects you? Or would you drift apart until he’s just a ghost from your past? Overwhelming emotion wells in your chest. How could you live without him?

You turn your head away to hide the quickly forming tears, pushing the fear of abandonment down. “Can-” you swallow thickly, willing the pain away, “Can you. Er– Well, can I smoke? I know I haven’t tried it before, but– Just, well– yea.” Heat floods your entire body, you’re absolutely mortified. Sure, you couldn’t confess, but damn, did you have to make a complete fool of yourself?

He chuckles lightly, an attractive sound to match his attractive face. “Haven’t even tried cigs yet, and you wanna go straight to weed?” he questions, raising his brow.

You scoff, trying to hide your emotions behind annoyance, “How do you know I was talking about weed?”

“Would you have gotten all stuttery over a cigarette?” Well, he had you there.

Lamely, you shrug. He huffs but digs around in his jean pocket, pulling out a ziploc with a joint. To this day, it still shocks you how brazen he is with his drugs. When you were in school together, he’d bring his food in the same metal lunchbox he carried the little baggies of marijuana in. You assume he still does it, not that you’d know definitively since you graduated in ‘84.

“It’s your first time, so you’re probably gonna cough your lungs out,” he motions to the water bottle at your hip, “You’re gonna need that.”

“Is it… that bad?” You ask hesitantly. The only information you had to go on was Eddie’s ramblings about what it feels like to be high and your observations from when he’d smoked in your presence. You say “observations,” but really, you’d just been watching his lips.

“For most people, no,” he comments casually as he flicks on the lighter.

You quickly snap back, “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I know you. You’re gonna find a way to choke to death on the smoke.” The little shit is smirking while he says it, knowing you’re gonna be angry with him. Your nose scrunches up, offended, but you don’t say anything because you know he’s absolutely right. Again, he chuckles.

Refocusing on the task at hand, he explains what to do before showing you a demonstration. Yea, you’re definitely gonna need the water. He doesn’t even bother handing the joint to you, instead holding it in front of your lips. Butterflies flutter intensely in your stomach. Fuck. He’s so hot, and he doesn’t even know it.

Maybe when you lean in, your lips “accidentally” brush against his fingertips, but who can really tell? Following his instructions, you don’t immediately breathe out the smoke. It feels… odd? A little uncomfortable, too. You’re sure it shows through your expression, judging by the amused look on Eddie’s face.

Finally breathing it out, you feel like someone’s just punched you in the throat. The muscles seize up suddenly, causing you to double over and cough hard. In the background, you can hear Eddie laughing at you.

He’s laughing. You’re dying, and he’s fucking laughing at you.

Once he’s done giggling at your expense, he scoots next to you and rubs circles on your back with his hand until you can breathe again. Snatching the water, you drink half of it in one go. You scowl at him, but he grins wide in return. Holding out his hand again, he asks cheekily, “Ready for another?”

Still aggravated, you go in for a second time, nipping his finger before you lean back. He murmurs “ouch” half-heartedly, but you both know it didn’t hurt. This time goes over much smoother, and you’re grateful because you don’t think your throat could take that again.

This continues until there’s barely anything left. He drops the burned paper onto the roof unceremoniously and squishes it under his boot. You really should say something, but this is a fight that’s lasted for years. Realistically, if he hasn’t stopped dirtying your section of the roof, he never will, so you decide not to bother.

You can feel him shift because of your head on his shoulder. When had you done that? Oh well, it doesn’t matter because he’s speaking. “Do you wanna exchange gifts now?”

Right, you’d completely forgotten about those. Today is what you affectionately call the “communal birthday.” Eddie’s birthday was three days ago, and yours will be in three more days. It’s the perfect in-between. As children, you’d have birthday parties together on your communal birthday. They had been fun in the moment, but looking back, you’re somber, knowing your parents threw those parties because his own parents didn’t care about his birthday. But, you shouldn’t dwell on such sad topics when you’re about to exchange gifts.

Humming, “Mhm,” you reach over to grab his present. A carefully wrapped cardboard box, tied together with a blood red ribbon. You used children’s Star Wars-themed wrapping paper, of course.

“Wow,” he whistles, holding up the box to admire the print, “Darth Vader, huh?” Giddily, you giggle and turn your head to press your face further into his shoulder. He smiles down at you, “You’re so quiet when you’re high. Normally, I can’t get you to shut up.” You just stick your tongue out at him.

He struggles for a little too long with the bow, but you don’t help him. You’re considering it payback for the teasing things he’s said tonight. Finally, he unties the ribbon and takes off the wrapping paper. He hands the ribbon back to you, knowing you’d reuse it. Gingerly, he picks up the lid and reveals the red tissue paper you’d used to protect the contents.

Carefully, he plucks out the sheets one by one. You smile wide at how gentle he’s being, obviously trying to be mindful of your gift. He comes across the first part of your present, a collection of various crystals, each with different uses and meanings. You want to tell him what they all do and represent, but words are escaping you at the moment. Instead, you promise, “I’ll explain ‘em t’you when ‘m sober.”

“Alright, I’ll hold you to it,” he responds, setting them off to the side. Returning to the box, he pulls out the last few pieces of tissue paper, revealing the best– and most costly– part of his gift.

“Holy fuck!” he blurts, taking a few in his hands to examine them. Limited edition cassettes, eight of them. All on his wishlist and all expensive. “I thought we agreed not to use your parents’ money?”

“Oh,” you mumble, feeling a little embarrassed, “I didn’t.”

He chuckles in disbelief, swapping the ones in his hands for the tapes left in the box, “Sweetheart, these are worth at least two of your paychecks.”

Yes, you’re working, even though you have rich parents. They’re big on humility and work ethic, so they’d encouraged you to get a job while attending community college. Not that you’d really needed one to form a work ethic. Sure, you grew up with money, but you weren’t spoiled. If anything, Eddie made sure of it, drilling into your head how important it is to not take your wealth for granted.

It was a little… how do you say? Impulsive to buy these for him, sure. But Eddie’s your best friend, and he’s always been there for you, so he deserves a thoughtful gift to show him just how much you appreciate him.

Your mind completely skips over the fact that he’d called you a pet name.

His reaction makes you insecure, so you ask, “D’you not like ‘em?” You still have the receipt somewhere in your room, so you can probably return them if he really doesn’t want the cassettes.

“Not like ‘em?” he repeats, astonished, “I fuckin’ love ‘em! This is an amazing gift, thank you.” He continues to flip all the cassettes over in his hands, inspecting them. They’re in pristine condition, so hopefully, Eddie will keep them safe.

You beam, “Your welcome!” excited he likes the tapes. You’d spent a lot of time thinking of what to get him, so you’re glad your thoughtfulness paid off.

He sets the box aside and picks up his present for you. It’s in a gift bag that you two have been swapping for years, but you’re happy to see it again. There’s colourful tissue paper covering the contents and spilling out the top.

You grab it carefully, as he had, and take your time unwrapping the present. The cassette grabs your attention first, and you chuckle at your similar gifts. It looks like it’s a blank until you turn it over and see Eddie’s signature handwriting on the front. It reads: “Really Cool Mixtape” and has a skull, heart, and fire symbol drawn next to the words. You bite your lip to hide your smile. He’s so adorable. Fishing in the bag, you find a piece of paper pressed against the bottom.

Opening the folded paper, you can’t stop your smile this time. It’s a song list, but what really draws your attention are the crudely drawn doodles of skulls, hearts, and fires in the blank space on the margins. The same shapes that are on the cover of the cassette. You decide to close it, wanting to discover the songs he chose organically.

Grinning wide, you exclaim, “Thank you! I really love it, Eddie.”

“That’s not all,” he says slowly, as if he’s not sure whether he wants to say it or not. Pulling something out of his pocket, he places it gingerly in your hands. You hesitate before looking down.

It’s a simple dark brown box. You take off the top, revealing cream pleather embossed with a fancy logo directly in the center— a jewelry box. Looking up at Eddie, he doesn’t meet your gaze, instead glancing bashfully to the side.

You turn the boxes over so the cream one will fall into your palm. Flipping open the top unveils a beautiful silver and malachite ring.

Sure, you’re high, but you’ve been around authentic jewelry your entire life. This is one hundred percent real, down to the 925 imprinted on the inside of the ring. The malachite appears to be high quality, too, the bands of colour within the stone being distinct and striking.

The ring is so delicate, the polished green stone in the middle is surrounded by silver leaves, which are attached to stems that intertwine to make the band. It’s an exact match to the necklace you’re wearing right now. The one that your mother bought for you when you turned eighteen, the one that’s made by an expensive designer who charges ridiculously high prices. Yea, that one. And now, it’s your turn to freak out.

“Holy shit, Eddie! Oh my God! Holy shit! Eddie! Oh my God!” your words loop as you try to accept just how much his gift cost. If yours is worth two paychecks, his is worth five, easy. You can’t even imagine the amount of drugs he’d had to sell to pay for it.

You carefully take the ring out of the box and slip it onto your finger, holding your hand up to examine it. He smiles sheepishly, “Do you like it?” Your jaw literally drops. How could you not like it? Your mouth moves before your brain can filter your words.

“I– I love you.” Fuck.

You just sit and stare at each other, not moving an inch. Dread settles heavily on you. You’ve just ruined everything. He’s going to leave and never come back. Tears gather in your eyes as you whimper uncertainly, “Eddie.” That seems to break him out of his trance.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not lying?”

“No.”

In place of words, he grabs you and brings you into a tight hug. You’re a little disoriented but still cling to him, regardless. “I’m so stupid,” he murmurs in your ear, sending shivers up your spine, “I love you, too. Ever since middle school.”

You smile, pulling back, “Me too.”

He grins up at you, “Well, the buzzcut was irresistible, really. Everyone wanted me.”

You both burst out laughing. Eddie’s buzzcut was so bad that he refused to let your parents hang any photos of him from that era. Calming down, Eddie lifts his hands to your face. He rubs his thumbs across your cheek before pulling you down for a sweet kiss just as the sun passes below the horizon. You swear you’ve never been happier, even if it took years to finally get here.

For someone so emotionally intelligent, he always fell short when it came to you.

But maybe you were the same way.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x gn!reader #fluff #mild angst #my writing #request

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twdmusicboxmystery · 4 years ago

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10x18: Find Me: Bethyl Template - Part 2

CLICK HERE TO READ PART 1 FIRST

***As always, spoilers for 10x18 abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Then one year later, when he met Dog as an adult and then Leah, he didn't have the eye scar yet, and he does still have the wing. At this point, six months later, this is where the eye scar shows up. So, third flashback. Then we see it. It's very red and swollen, so it's obviously fresh. It hasn't actually scarred yet.

I honestly couldn't tell if he had the wing here because he was wearing a poncho. I watched the whole thing and it never shows a shot of his vest. So, I don't know whether the wing was there or not.

But during this flashback, we see him sitting alone at his camp and he's setting out his knife. The fact that it shows the knife is probably important, but all we see him do is set it on a stump in front of him. He hears rustling behind him, and it startles him. He picks up the knife to defend himself, but it's just Dog coming to see him.

As soon as he sees Dog, he kind of smiles and gets happy. He says, "hey. Where have you been?" Guys. I honestly think this represents him reuniting with Beth. He hasn't seen dog in a long time, and he's pleased to see him. The camera pans outward when he starts playing with Dog and we get this massive shot of the sun. It's almost washing everything out. I think it’s super-significant that the eye scar shows up during this representation of him being reunited with Beth. Because a scar over the eye is a Sirius symbol. Return. Reunion. Resurrection.

So, I’ve seen people complaining that they didn’t show us how he got the scar. I hear ya. I want to know, too. And maybe they’ll still show us at some point. I kinda think they will. But what’s important here is WHEN it shows up. In conjunction with his and Beth’s reunion.

Then he takes Dog back to Leah. This is kind of where the romance part starts and I also think it's where the symbolism gets really, really complicated. Daryl and Leah have this back-and-forth banter that's kinda cute. And we definitely see Daryl looking happier. So, she says thanks for bringing them back and she says, "he likes you.” Daryl smiles and says, "he's just a dog. He doesn’t know any better," which is both self-deprecating and endearing. And Leah says, "yeah, well." Which I take to mean that she likes him too. This is where he asks her what the dog's name is and she tells him that it's Dog. He razzes her about it, and she says, "you got anything better?" He says no, but then he says, "at least you won't forget what he is." I feel like that’s a really on-the-nose way of pointing to Dog and telling us to notice the symbol.

Now, the reason I say it's complicated here is because I feel like the symbols start to mesh and it's really hard to disentangle them from here on out. Because I still think the Dog = Beth, but to some extent, Leah also = Beth. I mean, obviously this doesn’t point to Daryl having a romantic relationship with Leah while Beth (Dog) sits in the corner slobbering, right?

So, I think both of them represent Beth, but in different ways. I think at this point, the Leah and Daryl stuff become both a foreshadow of what’s to come, in terms of the CRM and the spinoff, but also a foreshadow of Daryl’s eventual relationship with Beth. And it’s also retelling some of Beth and Daryl’s arc from S4/S5. So yeah, it’s complicated.

But let’s look at the sequence so far. Daryl meets baby Dog. Daryl loses Beth, storm like Them. Then Daryl meets Dog again and he’s much older. Dog lead him to Leah, who also symbolically represents Beth. Then we see a second representation of him reuniting with Beth/Dog, and then this romance blossoms. So Leah is just a stand in for Beth and Daryl’s romance with Beth.

Much of the time, Leah represents Daryl and Daryl represents Beth, at least in the retellings. In the foreshadows, Leah more often represents Beth.

So, we get another eight-month time jump. This is when Daryl is surrounded by walkers and Leah helps save him. They both hide in the copse of trees. Okay, this is a replay of Beth and Daryl being in the trunk in Still. I get that this is gonna freak people out a little bit because they’ll think it's taking the symbolism from Beth and giving it to Leah. But that's looking at it backwards. It's not that Still was pointing to Leah. It's that this is a replay of Beth. It’s a template for Daryl’s arc.

So on TTD, they described this scene with Leah in a way that you could also describe Beth and Daryl being in the trunk in Still. They say it's sort of this forced intimacy where they’re thrown together to hide from the walkers, much like in Still. And because they are pressed up against a bunch of trees, we get actual tree trunks instead of the trunk of the car. Interestingly, Daryl actually rejects Leah at this point.

You can tell Daryl felt the sexual tension between them and it freaked him out, so he basically told her to go away and leave him alone. This is a defense mechanism for Daryl.

Originally, I told my fellow theorists that obviously Daryl wasn’t that harsh with Beth when they got out of the trunk in Still, but he was still emotionally unavailable. They disagreed with me, saying, “The thing about that scene with the trunk and they made note of this on TTD, that they never spoke to one another, not a sentence was said between them, there were nods and indications but no dialogue. And when the next day when they're ready to leave Daryl looks at Beth as if not seeing her, "you looked at me like I'm a dead girl." He walked away as if she wasn't even there there's a long pause and then she follows at a distance. I always thought that was about him leaving her behind at Grady, thinking she was dead. So I think you could compare that to him walking away from Beth just like he walked away from Leah. Another comparison with Beth from the episodes Still and Leah.”

I hadn’t thought about it that way, but I agree. I think they’re spot on about that.

So yeah. Callback to Still.

We have another three-month time jump. And this time, we clearly see that the wing is gone from his vest. He goes back to Leah and throws the fish at her door. The joke on TTD that this is his idea of a first date. To throw a dead fish at the girl’s door.

It took me a while to pin this one down, and actually it was my fellow theorists who did it, remembering details I didn’t. Daryl doesn’t throw a fish at Beth, but he does throw a bottle of water when she says she wants a drink. He’s very flippant about it. She gets mad and throws it back at him, saying “not that. I mean a real drink.”

Here, he throws a fish at Leah’s door. She gets salty and comes to his camp and throws it back at him, saying she doesn’t need him to fish for her. That parallels to Beth’s, “I can take care of myself,” and “get my own damn drink.”

Are we seeing the replay?

In the scene, Daryl is warming his fingers by the fire and Leah recognizes that he has frost nip. This a “frosty cola” sort of symbol. Leah takes him back to her cabin where it's warmer. We might see it as her healing him or sort of giving him medical treatment. Not really treatment so much as just a building where it's warm, but it did sort of cure his frost nip.

He sleeping and wakes up because he hears glass breaking (broken glass theme). She accidentally dropped the picture of her son in the glass frame broke. This is where she opens up to him and tells him about her son and her past.

Here, we have more Beth-related details. She’s thinking about her son, Matthew (biblical name) because today is his birthday. Birthday mentions are a Beth/Still thing. Leah talks about how she found the family after the apocalypse first happened. They fought together and gave her hope. This could very easily be Daryl talking about finding Rick's group.

Here’s the thing: The story Leah told tells Daryl is a major head cannon I've had for Beth. I've often thought that because of the child and baby symbolism we see around her, Beth will have either a child or children with her when she returns. I've always kind of wondered if it would be a matter of her taking on the children of other people who have died. So, I can see her having had a best friend, a surrogate sister (just as Maggie and Kelly are surrogate sisters now, Beth finds one as well) and she's taking care of that woman's baby. (The whole Jocelyn/Scars template plays into this as well.)

But that's exactly what Leah says here. But her best friend or sister had a baby and she started taking care of him because the sister died. I 100% think this is a foreshadow of Beth when she reappears. She’ll tell Daryl a very similar story. More evidence? Leah says, "this doesn't matter. He's gone."

She then said that she got separated from her family and ran. And eventually ended up at the cabin where she realized her son had been bitten.

Okay this is going to sound really weird, but I do think it’s a thing. @frangipanilove picked up on the fact that Leah says Dog was born on the same day her son Matthew died. That’s a major resurrection symbol, guys.

I had to sit and think about how this all fit together. I'm kind of thinking that in this scenario, Leah represents Daryl and both Matthew and Dog represent Beth. It's a little weird is because it suggests that Beth is Daryl’s daughter, which we obviously don’t believe. Just in terms of the sequence, we had that the group scattered and Daryl ran from the prison with Beth, just like Leah ran with her son. The boy was bitten. A lot of us believe Beth was bitten on her way to Grady. And then, the boy died just as the Dog/Sirius character was born. So we have a representation of the young, weak character dying and the stronger one being reborn. Meanwhile, Matthew was very young when he died. And we’re back to Emily’s “I’m a baby” post.

It also put me in mind of the song Beth sings to baby Judith at the prison in 4a. It has lines like, "I don't want to grow up," and, "I wish that I could be a dog."

Leah says she’s been alone ever since then, until Daryl showed up. Well, Daryl’s been alone ever since leaving Beth, until he met Leah. (Who symbolically, is Beth.)

Then we see Leah fishing just as Carol did, and she's good at it and we see them smiling at each other. This is where they’re actually kind of happy and where the romance happens. Again, I feel like this is just indicative of Beth and Daryl. Her being good at fishing is a whole lot like Beth being good at the crossbow. Daryl kind of teaches Leah to fish as he taught Beth to use the crossbow. And he’s impressed at her immediate skill.

We also see him walking away from her with the map and with Dog, presumably to look for Rick. So, the suggestion is there that he continued to look for Rick while he was with her. We also get the sex implication here. Again, a foreshadow of Beth and Daryl. And I honestly think the reason we didn’t see more of a sex scene is specifically because this isn’t his major, true love relationship. They didn’t want to put that much importance or emphasis on it. We’ll probably see a lot more when it’s really him and Beth. More on that in tomorrow’s post, because the writers actually do (kind of) confirm this on TTD.

During this part, we also see them lying on the refrigerator watching the eclipse. I’m not going to go into tons of detail about this right now, but just know that it’s an important Beth symbol for two reasons.

1) Gimple once used the word “penumbra” to talk about Beth and Coda. Check out the post about it HERE. The penumbra is literally one part of the shadow cast by an eclipse. That’s a very simplified definition, but just know that we have it from Gimple’s own lips back in S5 that eclipse = Beth. It also ties to Maggie in Them saying, “this is just the dark part.” I always knew that line had more meaning.

2) There are a lot of symbols from Alone going on here. They’re lying on a fridge. In Alone, Beth peers into an empty fridge in the kitchen. The eclipse represents a cosmic/solar event. The one-eyed dog in Alone represents Sirius, the returning Dog Star. Here we have Daryl and Leah cuddling. In Alone, we have the “Oh” moment. See what I mean?

Then it says 10 months later. The two of them are sitting at the table eating. Lots of details here. This parallels the Alone dinner scene. One major difference is that Daryl and Leah sit across the table from each other rather than side by side. Why is that important. Because side by side they assume the positioning of the Holy Grail. This is really complex symbolism, but think The Da Vinci Code. The angle between Beth and Daryl here is the same angle between Christ and Mary Madeline in the famous Last Supper painting. (Remember how Daryl looked at that in Gabe’s church in 5x02?). This represents true love or soulmates. And since Leah and Daryl sit across from each other, on a macro level, it simply shows she’s not his true love.

By now, I hope you’ve accepted that. But @frangipanilove found way more detail on this scene. In Alone, Daryl suggests they stay at the funeral home and make a life together. So, it’s equal but opposite here. Leah wants him to stay with her full time, and he doesn’t want to. In Alone, there’s no question of where he belongs. He belongs with Beth. Here, when Leah asks him where he belongs, he gets teary-eyed and says he doesn’t know.

But think about that answer as well. She asks him a question, and the answer is, “I don’t know.” In Alone, Beth: “What changed your mind.” Daryl: “I don’t know.” (Indistinctly mumbled).

Are we seeing the parallels and anti-parallels? In all the important ways (Daryl doesn’t love Leah like he did Beth) they’re anti-parallels. But they’re also a complete replay of Beth and Daryl’s arc. And we constantly see Daryl trudging along the river. Along the pathway that will eventually lead him toward peace.

That’s another big theme here. Carol wants him to find peace. He says he’s glad she found peace. Guess what’s at the end of Daryl’s river, folks? Beth. All roads lead to Beth.

So let’s repeat, because it bears repeating, that when Leah gives him an ultimatum, he very obviously doesn’t choose her. Then we see Daryl back at his camp by the river. When Carol shows up to talk to him, he doesn't seem at all upset or lonely or teary-eyed. It's like he's made a decision and he's at peace with it. Is he in love with Leah? Not so much.

So, we really thought that Carol telling him she wouldn’t be back for a while would be what spurs him to go back to Leah and leave the note. Because he’d feel lonely and abandoned, but that’s clearly not the case. He leaves Carol with calm resolve and determination. Not despair or loneliness.

And the next part makes no sense at all. At least, within the episode, it doesn’t. He’s walking through the woods and, for no apparent reason, he suddenly stops and his face changes. It’s like he had some sudden epiphany and realization. And that sends him running back to Leah’s cabin.

So, of course people are going to interpret that as Daryl suddenly “realizing” he’s in love with Leah. But I promise that’s not what this is about.

Okay, I’m about to get super abstract on you. Deep breath. Here goes.

Because the first thing I thought of here was 6x03. Anyone who’s followed me very long has heard me harp on The Weirdness of Daryl in 6x03. You can read my (super old) original post HERE. In that episode, he’s with Sasha and Abe, leading the walkers away, and he hears Rick get attacked by the wolves. He freaks out and leaves them to go look for Rick and help him. So we literally have him on his motorcycle, feverishly searching for Rick.

At one point, he stops the bike and puts his head down, looking super-conflicted. Then, at the end, we see him calmly return to Sasha and Abraham, with no explanation for why he stopped looking for Rick or what his thought process was.

Yeah, that’s weird. Almost out of character for Daryl.

But I always thought that, whatever that represented, would lead to Beth, because the next episode we see about Daryl is 6x06, which we all know is chalk full of Beth symbolism. And CRM symbolism. And is a representation of him finding Beth.

Well, we have the exact same foreshadow here. Think about it. Daryl is looking for Rick, along the river. Some mysterious epiphany pulls him away from that search, and he goes to Leah’s cabin. When he gets there, he finds Dog (Beth).

So, here’s what I’m almost certain this is telling us.

1) When Daryl and Carol hop on his bike at the end of S11 to kick us into the spinoff, they’ll be looking for Rick. I don’t know how/why. They’ll hear some rumor or possibility of him being alive. I even think it may just be a rumor, and Daryl won’t know if it’s true. But that won’t matter to Daryl. If there’s any chance at all, he’s gone. Looking for Rick. And Carol will be like, “Scoot. I’m coming.”

(Side note: Every time they say the spinoff is going to be a road-trip, monster-of-the-week Daryl and Carol romp, that’s absolute bullshit. That’s not what it’s going to be. It’s going to continue the story from the main show, and they’ll be searching for Rick. They’re just describing it the other way right now because they don’t want to give spoilers.)

2) Daryl and Carol will part ways at some point. Daryl will want to continue looking for Rick, and Carol will want him to come with her, probably to go find Ezekiel. (So Daryl and Carol’s arguments in the flashbacks are also foreshadows. She wants him to stop looking for Rick and find some peace. She’ll probably say something similar to that to him in the spinoff, but like he does in 10x18, he’ll tell her to go find her peace (Zeke) but he’s going to keep searching for Rick.

3) For the whole epiphany part, I was thinking that whatever Leah represents (let’s say the CRM, just as an example) that will pull him away from his search for Rick. And the reason we don’t get his thought process, the reason it doesn’t make sense here, is because it foreshadows what’s happening in the spinoff, and they aren’t going to give us too many clues about that. But whatever it is that pulls him away from his search for Rick (i.e. going to Leah’s cabin), he’ll meet Dog (Beth) along the way.

But then, while I was writing this, another powerful parallel leapt to mind. While thinking about this, I started phrasing it in my head as Daryl changing his mind. Something will change Daryl’s mind about looking for Rick.

And then it clicked.

Where have we heard that before? At the Alone dinner.

Beth: What changed your mind?

Daryl: I don't know.

Beth: Don't mm-mmm. What changed your mind?

So, this is going to be a HUGE moment in the arc. For the spinoff, Daryl and Carol will be looking for Rick on his bike. (Incidentally-but-not-so-much, he's looking for Rick on his bike in 6x03.) He’s going to have to change his mind about looking for Rick before he can find Beth. And we have the answer laid out for us during the Alone dinner. Gimple is seriously a freaking genius.

It made me realize I was overcomplicating what I thought would happen in the spinoff. I said Daryl would be searching for Rick, but something would pull him away from that search and when he left it, he'd run into Beth. (My logic was that he went to see Leah, and met Dog. So whatever Leah represents, it will pull him away from his search for Rick, and THEN he'll find Beth.)

But again, that was overcomplicating it. Because symbolically, Leah IS Beth. And think about his answer to Beth's question. "What changed your mind?" And he just STARES at her. Because the answer is Beth. It's always Beth. She is literally the only thing that would pull him away from his search for Rick. The ONLY thing. So, it all amounts to the same thing. And that's why it doesn't make sense in 10x18 or 6x03. Because they can't tell us it's Beth and they can't come up with anything compelling enough to pull him away from searching for Rick that wouldn't be completely contradictory to Daryl's character. It's just...Beth. It always is.

So we pretty much have the entire dinner scene from Alone replayed. The dinner, the questions, What made you change your mind? I don’t know. Beth wanted to leave a note in case they came back. Daryl left Leah a note in case she came back....

But to come back to 10x18, it’s also important that Dog stayed behind when Leah disappeared. Because Dog = Beth, and Beth said, “I’m not gonna leave you.”

Here are some rapid fire details I forgot to include:

There’s a small game trap hanging on Leah’s cabin, like the one Beth stepped on in Alone.

Leah’s cabin is built to look like the moonshine shack. Look at the windows and the porch. At first, I thought they’d used the same structure. But then my peeps reminded me that they actually burnt down the moonshine shack while filming Still. So this isn’t the same one. It’s just meant to look like it.

He speaks to Leah of his brother (Rick) in this episode. In Still, he spoke to Beth about his brother Merle.

At the end, Carol says losing Leah “is not on you.” Which is exactly what Rick said to Daryl in 4x16, when they talked about the Claimers and then Beth.

Leah says, “beautiful, isn’t it?” of the eclipse, which equates to Beth saying, “Don’t you think that’s beautiful?” in Alone.

At the end, after leaving the note, Daryl says to Dog, “we’re gonna get her back.” Which he doesn’t. Daryl said that same thing to Carol in Consumed about Beth. So that’s a bit of replay of Consumed. And he didn’t get Beth back like he wanted, either.

Other random but relevant things AK said: She said this episode is very much about incompleteness and longing, about memory and things left unresolved. Obviously that applies to Leah, but it also very much applies to Beth.

She also says flat out that Dog is an important tie between Daryl and Leah. She's hinting at the symbolism there. She Daryl wanted to find peace with Leah and he goes back but it's already too late and she's gone. If nothing else, Leah is definitely a proxy for Beth in that way. Because we believe that when he went back, Beth’s body was gone and he probably searched for her. Same thing happened with Leah, but it doesn't look like his search was nearly as expansive for her.

AK also says that Daryl’s time on the mountain with Leah is over. He has turned his back on it. So I think if Leah showed up again in the present, he would be drawn to her little bit just because there's a history there, but he wouldn't want to go off somewhere and live with her either. Angela said he's accepted that he needs now to be at home. He has people he cares about and they’re his responsibility now. She said that's one of the reasons he gets so angry with Carol. He wants her to choose that as well. To choose to be at home helping take care of people. But she keeps trying to run away. So, he's calling her out on that.

Do you see? Do you see why I’m perfectly okay with this episode? Do you see why, even though I don’t like Leah or her relationship to Daryl, I actually feel better about TD after watching this episode than I ever have?

Once again, this episode shows us Daryl’s entire arc toward Beth, from when they left the prison together in S4 to how they’ll reunite. It shows his path and how it’s always moved him slowly but consistently toward his peace, which is with Beth. It replays their arc together with these beautiful aerial shots. All while Daryl trudges with his bow along the river.

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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daisylincs · 4 years ago

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get to know me tag

I was tagged by @the-9muses, @missinglittlebritishfriend, @aleksandrachaev - thanks, loves 🥺🥺 Yours were fab!

Name/Nickname: Lily (which yes is short for something, no it's not embarrassing just very British, as Kat LOVES to mock me about)

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Virgo (and fortunately/unfortunately with all the perfectionism typical of that sign)

Height: 166cm (and nO I am not trying to convert that into feet and whatnot. Sorry, Americans, but your system makes NO SENSE. Ugh)

Time: 9:45 AM, desperately procrastinating setting into my final round of prep work for classes starting next week

Birthday: 2 September

Favorite Bands: like my wife, I'm a BIG fan of musicals, pretty much all musicals, so... Hamilton, Hadestown, Wicked, Les Mis, Moulin Rouge!, Evita, Chicago, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera, Cats, The Lion King. I'm also very into movie soundtracks, basically anything Disney or related to Lin-Manuel Miranda 😝😍

As bands go, Imagine Dragons, Florence + The Machine and ABBA are fab, too!

Favorite Solo Artists: Ed Sheeran, classical musicians do not count shut UP brain, Taylor Swift?? (hissssss @ Kat)

Song Stuck In My Head: Afterglow by Ed Sheeran

Last Movie: The Old Guard, rewatch #4. It's just SO DAMN COOL, guys

Last Show: Us (and no, not just for Iain, either, though ngl he's a big benefit. It's a great show, though, I'm loving it so far!)

When Did I Create This Blog: the 5th of May 2020, apparently! Feels like a lot longer to me, lol, but, yup, I'm a lockdown baby! 😝

What I Post: Fics, reblogs of other people's amazing creations, and occasionally random nonsense

Last Thing I Googled: "Lockdown UK live updates" - because, yes, that's what my TV show binging and spectacular denial levels lately have allll been caused by :/

Other blogs: Yes! I created and am an admin of agentsofchallenges, the Challenges of SHIELD blog we part-run from our fandom friends Discord. I'm also an admin for aos-angst-war, the blog we made for, surprisingly, the AoS Angst War (before we were smart enough to come up with agentsofchallenges, lmao)

Following: 387, apparently - w h o a, how'd that happen?? Too many amazing people out there, that's all I'm saying.

Followers: 237, which makes me think of three things immediately: one, there seems to be a sevens theme going on with "follow-" words today. Cool beans! Two, OH MY GOSH PAST TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY FOLLOWERS Already??? Every time I look at this statistic, it's more, and my eyes want to pop out of my head. I mean, I'm SO flattered, guys, but also w t f!!! Ahhhhhhhh, it's more than a little unbelievable. (!!!) Anyway, and, three, hnsjdskhsghsjhd, I'm an awful person, I haven't even completed my Hundred Followers Celebration yet!! Better get right on that 😬🤦‍♀️🥰

Average hours of sleep: 6/7 in work-time, because teaching is a full-time job and I need to be 100% functional. In the holidays, though... yeek. Anybody's guess!! I often go to sleep in the very wee hours of the night (2, 3am) but then I'm also a lazy ass and only get up at 10, so... About the same, actually!!

Lucky number: ehhh, I don't really have one, I'm not superstitious like that, really - EXCEPT, WAIT, NO, I TOTALLY DO. Of course I do!! 42. The answer to life, the universe, and everything, my friends :D

Instruments: I play piano and violin professionally, and a little bit of cello, badly 🤣

What I Am Wearing: an old grey-green pair of drawstring sweatpants, and an oversized white sweatshirt. My isolation suit, guys!

Dream Job: ohhh, gosh, well. I've always had a passion for both music and teaching, and I've known this is what I want to do for years, so I'm kinda... in it?? Lucky me, I know, lol 🤣😍 If I could have anything, though, I'd probably want to be an actress, or a singer-songwriter. Or both!! Or, I know, a Marvel screenplay writer for the Quake/Secret Warriors alternate universe spinoff 🤣😝

Dream Trip: ohhhh, MAN, well - I'm an incurable romantic at heart, so, the Seychelles with my boyfriend? Or maybe, to be a fangirl and a romantic (which is just goals, honestly) Tahiti!! Yup, yup, that's my final answer. I want an all-expenses-paid, full-luxury trip to Tahiti - I hear it's a magical place 😝😍🏖️

Favorite Food: I've recently been visiting my family in Ireland (before lockdown screwed everything over for me UGH) so, my nan's chocolate shortbread!! The actual BEST biscuits you'll ever taste 😍😍😍

Nationality: British-Irish (yes, I have a dual citizenship, which I think is pretty wicked)

Favorite Song: Impossible. Question. And one you'll get a different answer to every time you ask it!! Currently, though, I'm going to have to say Nancy Mulligan, for all the family nostalgia and happy memories it brings up for me 💜

Last Book I Read: Ugh, this is probably the LEAST exciting answer you could even dream of, but... A2 GCSE Music Syllabus and Teacher's Guide - 2021 Revised Edition. Yeah, prepping for work SUCKS.

Top 3 Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: The MCU, but very specifically season 3A of Agents of SHIELD, so I could meet all my babies when they were happy(ish) and tell them how much I adore them 🥺🥺💜 Also, the Wizarding World post-the Second Wizarding War (because if I'm living in the world I'm not affected by JKR's crap). And for number three, OOH!! Storybrooke post-season 6 (and happily pretending season 7 never happens.) Yes please!!

Oooh, gosh, well, this was loads of fun, and a great distraction from work... though, in all seriousness, I should probably get to that now. Before I go, though, I'm going to tag @eowima, @que-mint-tea, @justanalto, @apathbacktoyou, @springmagpies, @maybebrilliant, @loved-the-stars-too-fondly, @nazezdha321, @besidemethewholedamntime and @fitzsimmonkeys, if any of you guys want to do this! 🥰💜

#tag game #get to know me tag #tumblr-ing instead of working is a whole big thing; am I right?#TOO big #*soft sigh* it's so fun though!!#it's SO fun

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forkanna · 4 years ago

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WARNING: Very N S F W. Includes sisterly incest, cunnilingus, anal play, tickling, foot worship, and as you probably expected... food kink.

Notes: HAPPY CORONATION DAY! I've been hanging onto this since I posted chapter 5 both because I wanted to make sure it was just right, and I thought it deserved to be released on an important day in the fandom's history: the date Elsa was crowned Queen of Arendelle in 1844. (We know this thanks to some smart cookies on Reddit haha)

So I know this should technically be from Elsa's POV if I continued to follow the convention I set up for myself, but I decided to keep writing it as Anna. It's been her story from the beginning and it should end as her story. Plus it's an epilogue, so it doesn't have to follow the rest of the fic's format! So there! AHAHAHAHA… I don't know, I'm tired.

And YES, this is the end. No sequels, no Epilogues-To-Epilogues; the MSB grand finale. I know a lot of you may have not seen my mention of an epilogue in the notes for last chapter, so hopefully you'll see this! If any of you want to continue Elsa and Anna's story in your own spinoff fanfics, be my guest (but please credit me); otherwise, I consider MSB to be at its natural ending. Hope you all enjoy the last slice!

In all seriousness, thanks to everyone who has waited this long for what is essentially a one-off smutty fic about D*sney sisters to be finished. I owe so much to this story; it changed my life in a very literal, very unexpected way. Elsa and Anna's true love thawed my jaded heart and encouraged me to keep writing, even when I was sank deep in the darkness of a miserable life, and to explore who I am in ways I never felt brave enough to do. I'm in such a better place now than when this began. It's been a pleasure being part of this fandom, and hopefully I will continue to enjoy it for a long time to come.

Until we meet again,

Jessex

[AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

EPILOGUE

Min Søsters Bursdagsmadrass: Anna

~ Five Months Later ~

Okay, okay, not quite five months have passed since we saved our kingdom from my sister's magic. Closer to four-and-a-half. But the time has flown by so much that it feels more like a week.

Kristoff and Sven came galloping up to the gates just as we were exiting. The ice boy was a lot less shocked that I was arm-in-arm with Elsa than I expected; probably because he pretty much already caught us in flagrante delicto before. He tried to offer congratulations, and I gave him a big hug to cut through all that awkwardness.

Olaf showed up not long after. Well, we came across a puddle that used to be Olaf; I'd know that carrot nose anywhere. Before I could start sobbing, Elsa calmly created a little ice-flurry and rebuilt him as easy as if she were breathing; he was disoriented, but didn't take long to be back to his cheerful self, hugging us and congratulating us on figuring out that we belonged together. That made sense the more I thought about it. Seriously, why wouldn't our snow-baby always know his parents should stay together?

Naturally, there were a few people who came to the levee that didn't condone our love. I wish I could say differently. Most of them were either too afraid to speak out against us — probably because my sister was some kind of ice witch, that tends to make even the bravest of men need a change of underwear — or they were genuinely happy we were happy, and summer was back. But one or two tried to shame us. Didn't go well, considering we were the monarchy and surrounded by supporters. More insisted we needed a king, at the very least for the purpose of heirs. I tried to tell them that Olaf was our heir, which got a lot of weird looks, but Elsa insisted that it was our decision if and when we crossed that bridge. I guess that's why she's the queen, right? I mean, can you imagine me as the queen of Arendelle? No way!

Hans was tried and convicted of treason against the kingdom. I didn't even go; I didn't want to look at him again if I could help it. But I watched from the castle walls with my sister as they led him away to a ship bound for the Southern Isles. We figured his family would make sure the sentence was severe if they wanted to maintain a good trade partnership with Arendelle. Plus, we wouldn't have to deal with him still being in our home. Win-win.

We also shipped old Weaseltown out. He can peacock-strut and backstab on his own turf.

Everything flew by a lot faster after those first few days. Kristoff was our new icemaster general — totally a real title, thank you — and Olaf's cheery presence got everyone used to the idea of magic. The people slowly grew to accept that their queen had a queen of her own. At first, we tried not to be too open with our relationship, but even though everybody thinks of me as the free spirit, it was Elsa who decided we should begin taking walks through the kingdom, hand-in-hand. At first, we got a few stinkeyes, but little by little, they saw we were happy, and not hurting anyone with our taboo love, and… it just became normal, I guess.

Which is fantastic! I mean, if they didn't I would have bought a whole collection of lutes to start smacking them with, but that didn't turn out to be necessary. Good thing; a co-queen shouldn't brawl with her subjects. Looks kinda bad.

As we hit the middle of December and the weather was turning colder without my sister's influence, I started scheming. We had enjoyed four wonderful months of getting to know each other all over again. Even though I'm basically a big ball of libido, somehow Elsa convinced me that we shouldn't just start banging each other's brains out every day. How dare she! But I have to admit, having that sex-free courtship time was somehow a magic all its own.

Because we were behind. By thirteen years. I found out just how well-read my sister was, since she had ploughed through book after book when she wasn't trying to practice controlling her magic. That was something we had in common, since I was often equally bored; it turned out we had read a lot of the same books, and we could compare our thoughts and feelings about them over many, many cups of tea. She never did start talking to paintings like I did, but when I introduced them to her, at least she was bemusedly giggling behind her hand instead of openly mocking me, or telling me I needed medical attention. And we went horseback riding, and swimming, ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. Started going through our parents' things at last, painful though it was. Learned about the kind of adults we had become since we last knew each other as children.

And kissed, sure. Just because we didn't start rolling around in the bed sheets right away didn't mean I was going to let us be complete prudes.

However… my sister's birthday was fast approaching, and I knew I had to do something big. Maybe in a literal sense. So the scheming turned to plotting, and the plotting turned to planning. And then the plans got put in motion leading up to her big day.

~ o ~

"Alright, alright, Olaf! I'm going!"

"Sorry, Elsa, but there's no time to waste!" I could hear him replying to her from the other side of the door. I could just barely see her slippered feet and his snow stumps through the crack underneath. So weird doing that from the inside this time… "I guess. I've never had a birthday, but Anna told me this is your biggest one yet, and we got a schedule to keep!"

"Okay, little guy," she laughed at him easily. Even though I couldn't see, I could just picture her petting over his head. "Thank you."

"Yep! And oh, I was supposed to do something else, it was… yeeeessss! Anna told me I should 'get lost for the rest of the day'. So I guess my question is, does that mean until sundown? Or midnight? And how lost do I have to get? I can get lost just in this castle, it's so big, but she was pointing at the gates when she said it…"

"Tell you what. Why don't you go pay Kristoff and Sven a visit? That should be far enough."

"But I won't be lost if I know where I'm going," he told her in a patient tone, as if she were the one who was missing something instead.

"My mistake," she laughed fondly. "Just have a little adventure outside of the castle and we will see you in the morning."

"Okie-dokie! Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do! Or do, because you're not me, so you should be doing things I wouldn't do? Maybe? Especially if I'm going to be getting lost and you don't need to be lost. I don't know if that's exactly…"

He was still talking by the time his voice started to fade around the corner. The rest of the sentence was cut off by Elsa knocking on my door.

"Go away, Elsa," I called back at her in an exaggeratedly pouty tone.

"Anna," she sighed. "Yes, I know I was the one saying that to you for a decade of our lives, but this joke is starting to get a little old now."

"Whaaaaaat? No, I don't think so."

"It's officially old as of today. Now, may I come in, or will you be coming out?"

"Think we both already did that last part," I giggled. "Did you, um, prepare?"

"For the love of- yes! Though I don't know why, I let Gerda bathe me thoroughly, and now I am standing outside your door, scrubbed raw and regretting that I listened to her, because you are being a pain in the-"

She didn't finish that thought because I unlocked the door just then. But I didn't open it for her. I was too busy scampering across the floor of my chambers to stand by the bed, grinning from ear-to-ear like a loon. And don't judge, okay? I'd been planning this for a long time.

"Um…" The door creaked open, and one of her baby blues peered around the inside of the darkened room. The sun had already set, so it was only the moonlight and the single candle on my bedside table providing illumination. "A-Anna?"

"Please enter," I said in a pretentiously royal tone.

"Oh, your robe is like mine," she said with a small smile as she eased the door shut behind her.

"Yep! Silk, from the East! I mean, you fill yours out a little better — especially up top. But that's one of the gifts. And I figured, hey, might as well get one for me, too!"

Barely glancing down at the blue silk covering her sizable assets, she shook her head with a small laugh. "It's very nice, thank you. But I thought I told you I didn't want you to make a big deal about my birthday; we should be focused on the Yule festivities for the kingdo-"

"No, no, no," I teased her with a wave of my index finger, bouncing on my heels excitedly. "This is the first time in thirteen years I have been able to celebrate this with you. Give me this one, okay?"

"When can we stop saying the number thirteen and start really enjoying our lives again?"

"When it's been fourteen years. Now… can you take that robe off and hop up on the bed for me?"

Oh, that shrewd little smirk that blossomed on my sister's face. It was both breathtakingly beautiful and super sexy. She was all the time, anyway, but there were moments that it stood out a lot more. "Ahhhh. So that's what all this is about, is it? You think tonight we are going to break our courtship."

"Mmmmaybe. But even if we don't, I still want more with you tonight. If that's okay," I added hastily, fidgeting with my hands behind my back.

"I see." Elsa stepped forward to smooth her hands up and down the green silk covering my chest, teasing her fingernails over my neck. Definitely not making it any easier to stop my lady parts from launching a hostile takeover of my brain, I can tell you! "And… this is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah." Clearing my throat, I said, "And I understand why courting was important to you. And it's been great! Really, I loved getting to know you all over again, and we have been having so much fun. But… maybe just a little playing tonight? Please?"

As she glared across into my eyes, I brought my thumb and forefinger up between our faces, half an inch apart. That was all it took to make her burst out laughing.

"That little, hmm?" she finally chuckled as my cheeks burned. "Okay. I assume once I am in position, you will tackle me on this bed?"

"Yeah. Well, not 'tackle', but I'll join you. I just want you to feel how soft it is first."

That got Elsa's eyebrows raising in slight surprise. "Soft, hm? Did you get yourself a new bed for my birthday?"

"I dunno, did I?" I gasped. Hoping my acting skills were at least good enough to hide how excited I was.

Not quite. But at least Elsa hadn't fully figured out my cunning scheme. She pointed at my face and hissed under her breath, "There had better not be anyone hiding in here."

"Hiding? Wait, why would I stick anybody else in here and then tell you to take off your clothes?"

"How should I know? Sometimes you have a really strange sense of humour, Anna."

"Not that strange! Surprise creepy people sounds plain old mean!" But before she could say anything else, I placed a hand over my heart and raised the other one. "I do hereby solemnly pledge that nobody is going to jump out of the wardrobe at you. Or anything else like that."

"Fine, I believe you," she laughed as she stepped from her slippers and let the silk fall from her shoulders, exposing her smooth, pale back. Even now that we had been going for walks and rides, she was still white as alabaster, despite the alternating tans and sunburns I had.

"Mmm…"

"Again, my birthday seems to be full of gifts for you," she accused playfully with a little glance over her shoulder at me as she approached the bed, moving to climb atop it. "Little pervAAAHHH?!"

SPLAT.

Nope, I definitely couldn't hold back anymore. I wrapped my arms around my middle and burst out into gales of laughter, shaking all over and trying my best not to fall down. "ELSA! Your face — you should see your face!"

"I'm- what is- ANNA!" my poor sister finally burst out as she slipped and slid everywhere, defiling all my hard work. "What is the meaning of this?! What IS this, where did- is this CAKE?!"

Cackling and bouncing up and down as I clapped my hands, I finally crowed, "YES! Isn't it incredible?! Doesn't it look just like my bed? I mean, it did before you jumped on it, but even still, the rest of it!"

God, she looked hilarious. I was laughing, but was doing my best not to actually point at Elsa while I did it. And anyone would have laughed; her face covered in so much chocolate and frosting, a huge chunk falling from her chin to splash onto her right breast even while she blinked at me in wonder. Never had our regal queen looked so un-regal.

"You… made… a bed-sized cake… just to play this prank on me." She scraped some of the frosting from her eyelids and flicked it away, turning slightly so she could kneel on the layers of confection. That only made me laugh so hard I snorted like a pig. "This is… I have no words. I literally have no words, I could never have anticipated this."

"Aww, don't be grumpy," I teased breathlessly as I got rid of my own robe, dropping it right next to hers. "Just because I got you good this time! You freaked out, it was the most amazing thing I've watched in my whole life!"

"Yes, well, the show is ov- Anna, what are you doing now? Don't tell me- are you going to jump into this cake with me?! That's insane!"

I hesitated. "Well… I was before you called it 'insane'…" But then I approached the edge of the bed, hands on my hips. No way was I going to chicken out that easily. "This wasn't just a prank. I really wanted to do this for you."

That finally got her to laugh, and when she started she found it hard to stop. I laughed with her, watching her slap her caked thigh a few times. But before I could join her on the bed, she suddenly breathed, "Insane… but beautiful. I've never seen a woman more lovely in the entire world."

My heart skipped over a beat, and I hoped she couldn't tell how hard my nipples were in the low light. "Ahhhhh, now you're just lying. We both know you own a mirror."

"Nice try," she laughed, biting her sugar-coated lip for a moment to weather my counter-compliment. Then she tilted her head slightly while asking, "Why? This is the strangest surprise I have ever received — and that includes that certain birthday of yours. But I can tell it means a lot to you, so could you help me…?"

Great. Now I had to actually face the music, and it was going to take a lot of exposing of feelings. So I took a deep breath before throwing my inhibitions to the wind... and letting my knees sink into the cake.

"That is so wrong," I groaned, feeling one of my eyes twitch.

"I know. But once you get used to it, it's… still wrong, but interesting." She was leaning slightly on one arm, moving her legs out to one side. Always so ladylike, even in a big mound of baked sweetness.

"So here it is," I sighed. "You and me, even when we were really little… chocolate was our soft spot. We could never resist it. And especially after my birthday, when we bonded over it again… I knew your birthday had to be something big, since I could finally celebrate it with you. Something that mattered to both of us. And fun! I thought fun was really important, too. Took me a while to figure out just how I wanted to do this, but once I had this idea, I just… I knew. This was the only thing that would be good enough."

Though she had been listening with a small smile, my last sentence wiped it away. Why? What did I say wrong? Her cake-slicked hand lifted to caress my cheek.

"Anna, anything would have been good enough. Even if this had turned out to be a normal bed, I would have been so happy. How much you spend, how much you plan these gifts, it's sweet but you don't have to go to so much trouble. Don't you know my favourite gift is you?"

My lips only got the chance to part very slightly — when she booped me. She booped my nose with frosting on that finger. The Queen of Arendelle, everybody.

"You little stinker." But her words kept me from retaliating. "You… you mean that, huh? That I'm enough?"

"I do." Her lips pecked mine. "You always have been. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to show you until these past few months. But now, I get to make up for lost time."

Sliding closer, I whispered, "Same here."

And that was as far as I could get before I was attacking her mouth. Elsa welcomed me gratefully, humming as she pulled my body closer. I knew she was getting cake all over me, but I had kind of resigned myself to that when I concocted this whole crazy scheme. Literally concocted.

Which was what she asked about next. "How long did this take to bake?"

"Oh, a couple of days. The trick was keeping the parts we already made fresh so they wouldn't spoil before we finished the rest of it. Kristoff helped me with that, grabbed me a few blocks of ice; normally I would ask you to do it with a little magic, but I mean, since it was a surprise for you that would have been pretty stupid."

"Yes, I suppose so," she giggled, rubbing her fingertips against each other experimentally. "Smooth frosting… buttercream?"

"Of course! And I wanted to add a bunch of berries, but then it wouldn't have looked like my bed, because I don't normally have a bunch of berries on it." While Elsa laughed again, I slipped my arms around her waist. "And yeah, I know you still think it's weird I wanted to be in a cake like this. Plus it's a big waste of food. But for just this one birthday, the first one since we reunited, I wanted to give you something so big it was literally all around us. Like we're part of the cake instead of just the other way around."

Her voice was so gentle and warm when she responded, "I believed you the first time, Anna. But thank you for elaborating. I love knowing how you think, how your mind works. My amazing, clever sister."

Again, we kissed, deeper and longer and with no inhibitions. We tried to restrain ourselves when we were out in public, of course, but alone in my room? Nobody looking over our shoulders? Free as wild horses.

By the time we came up for air, I was no longer the clean one because we had been rolling around in the cake-bed. Sure, I still felt guilty for putting the castle cooks through so much work just so we could wreck it, but at least Kristoff and I gave them a hand — and I gave them the day off once they were through. Anyway, basically the only places where chocolate and frosting hadn't accumulated multiple layers was our faces, because they were so close to each other that nothing could get in between them.

"Are we supposed to be eating any of this?" Elsa laughed, running her finger through some on my shoulder.

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't have done this if it was just for show; this might as well have been a big frosted mud pie." Then I held up…

"Anna, where could you possibly have been hiding that?!"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Elsa merely blinked at me for a few seconds until I caved. "Okay, I had it in my butt."

"What- that sounds incredibly painful!"

"No, no, I was just clenching my cheeks on the handle. Obviously! Like I used the handle outside your door that first time. Come on, do you really think anybody would stick the pointy part into anywhere that sensitive?"

"Well, it is you," she laughed as she reached for the fork. Our fork. "Though I suppose I admire the control you have over your muscles back there." Then she hesitated, her brow furrowing. I could figure out what was holding her back.

"I also took one of Gerda's very thorough baths," I informed her to put her fears at ease. Which made her finally take it with a slight shake of her head. "Oh — and I helped one of the servants mop the floor before we got started in here. Trust me, when I say you can eat off the floor, I really mean it this time."

"You really have thought of everything; such attention to detail. It's almost a little scary."

"Love makes you a little scary sometimes, I guess."

"I guess." Then she slid the fork through some of the cake that we hadn't already rolled in, bringing it up to my lips. "After you."

"Oh! Wait… you first, it's your birthday."

"Diving into it counted as me going first," she chuckled. "Besides, I tasted a little on your lips once they caught some from my lips. Go on." And since I had no argument against that, and she was looking at me with those bemused, insistent eyes, I took the bite into my mouth.

"Ohmyghob, ibzo goob!"

"Anna, manners." Which I could appreciate the irony, since there were very little manners involved in rolling around in a giant cake. Probably. Maybe they do that more often in Corona…

"You have GOT to try this," I gushed once I had swallowed, grabbing the fork and scooping up another big bite for my sister.

"Can't I have a different fork?" But I wasn't budging. And she knew how important that particular utensil was to the both of us. "Gerda bathed you the same way she bathed me, didn't she?"

"It was like standing in a geyser."

"Fine." She accepted her first proper bite. Her blue eyes slid closed in ecstasy as she hummed her approval, eventually nodding after she had chewed for a moment.

"Amazing, right?" All she did was nod, raising a hand to give the okay symbol. So I helped myself to another bite, clutching my hand to my chest as tears welled up in my eyes.

Seriously, it was that good. Best cake I ever had in my life, up to and including the one with my sister's extra frosting.

"Okay," Elsa panted a couple minutes later when we had eaten our fill for the moment. "I was teasing you before, but I take it all back; I do want to live here and sleep here."

"Surrounded by layers of chocolatey goodness?" I giggled as I flopped onto my back, spread eagle in piles of sweet perfection. It was like Heaven, or Valhalla or whatever you believe is the good afterlife.

"Exactly. Fun and function." I glanced over to see she was lying on her side, propped up on one elbow so she could look down at me with a smile full of so much affection that my heart skipped a beat. "So very you."

At first all I did was chuckle a little and smile up at her. But then when she leaned down to kiss my chest, I let my eyes fall closed as a little sigh escaped my lips. "Mmm…"

"You were after something like this, I believe?"

Opening my eyes again, I was just in time to see her tongue slide across the meat of my right breast, the one closest to her. The track of freckled skin she revealed by cutting through the chocolate confection gleamed from her saliva, and it was somehow both offensive and arousing at the same time.

"Y-yeah. Something like that." I cleared my throat and caressed along her back, through cake and hair. "But you don't have to. If that whole courting thing is so-"

"We can take a break," she interrupted with an impish smile. "One night, for both Yule and my birthday. And for you, because I know how hard it has been to keep your hands off me."

A blast of air exploded from my lungs as she licked again. "HAH! W-wow, somebody's conceited in here, and I think her name rhymes with… with, uh…"

"With what? Jelsa?"

"No, that's not a thing."

I was still trying to think of a rhyme for her name when she found my nipple, and my squeal blasted every thought out of both of our minds. My chest was a feast for my sister for the moment as my conscious thoughts faded, simply letting her enjoy me. Because I enjoyed it just as much. A few times, she hit the nerves just right that I twitched, digging my nails briefly into her back and making her hiss in response. Some extra added fun.

Then she started moving down my stomach. I knew where she was going; this wasn't our first time trying this particular activity. But the butterflies were as fresh as ever, and my thighs tried to trap her head there.

"Oh, not tonight?" she purred.

"Reflex," I panted shortly, trying not to laugh at the cake all over her face now. Because even though it was funny, it also wasn't… since she was about to go to town on me.

Oh, she did. She really, really did — and it blew my mind so much more this time, somehow. Maybe it was because for the past few months, I only had that fork handle for company in my bed. Being pent up and needy tends to make the release ten times stronger, you know.

"Elsa!" I whined after a few hours. Okay, it was probably a minute or two, but it felt like so long! "You're really… how did you… get this good?!"

By the time she came up for air to answer me, she was gripping my ass cheeks to hold my pelvis closer to her face. "You're worth trying my best for, Anna. And… I may have practiced on an ice-replica." When I laughed at that, a frosting-smeared eyebrow arched. "Ooh…"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Your backside is so firm, and I felt it flexing in my hands. Powerful."

"Y-yeah, I exercise a lot. Could probably pick up a gold coin with it."

"Really?" I felt her poking around back there, and I clenched — again, reflex. "Wow. Do you think… you could squeeze this?"

Before I had any chance to ask a question or protest, I felt a finger sliding between my cheeks. What in the fjord was Elsa doing?! It felt wrong, and disturbing… and hot? Was it hot somehow?! Maybe, but only because it was her, and she had already been going down on me, I'm pretty sure; if anybody else had tried that, especially when I wasn't already chomping at the bit to get off, their hand would be kindling for the fireplace in the corner.

So don't let anybody tell you Elsa is a prude who would never do anything like that. That whole regal facade is just a smoke screen. She can get just as wild as me.

"Wow, your muscles really are strong," Elsa breathed in honest surprise, not just teasing me. "I'm impressed."

Freya, I tried so hard to hold it together. To control my reaction. But as she dragged her finger back from my crack, brushing the little forbidden spot that I had been trying not to think about, I shivered and let out a little moan. Dooming myself.

"Anna?"

"Yes! I m-mean, hello, yeah, you can… you can start back in on the goods now! Remember my goods? Right there in front of you?"

"No, wait. Did you enjoy…?" Probably trying to spare me some embarrassment, she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she raised her frosting-covered finger and flexed it in my field of vision.

"Oh, did I really get cake in there, too? Sheeze, we've really been going crazy!"

My nervous laughter made it way too obvious I was just trying to distract my sister. Why was I so bad at that sometimes? She looked at me suspiciously for a moment, then glanced at the finger, then back at me.

"Anna-"

"Please, can we not-"

"Anna, it's okay. If you want me to leave that alone, I will; I was only asking how you felt about it. That's all."

Though her words didn't dial back my embarrassment, it soothed away the anxiety spike. "Oh. Well… no, I didn't mind that much. Not really. It's just because… like, after all you've been doing to my clit and tits, I'm kind of sensitive… everywhere. So it was pretty interesting, but I would never ask you to do it again! That's too big a favour!"

Elsa thought that over for a moment, and I finally started to relax. Then she kissed my inner thigh. "Just relax, my love. My Lord Anna." I groaned, thinking back to the coronation ball. Even though it all worked out okay. "I'll take care of you. And all you have to do is ask, and I will stop or change what I am doing. You can always talk to me, alright?"

"Okay," I said, completely relieved. My queen was so sweet to me, always taking care of me as much as she could. Making me feel safe.

Well, I did feel a little less safe when she started kissing closer to my behind. And then when I felt two thumbs pulling the cheeks apart, I wriggled all over and gasped out, "WHOA! Elsa, are you- you're not gonna-"

"Just going to try to get the cake in here," she laughed softly. "Unless you have objections."

Did I? The whole thing was too weird to have any objections. And while I was still trying to come up with one, I felt that wriggling tongue press somewhere I had never wanted or needed it to go. Was Elsa really doing this? She really didn't mind? We did enough wrong and taboo things already that this just seemed like one step too far! But the way she was going at my ass suggested she didn't agree.

And it was… different. Not good, not bad; just unsettling even while it was stimulating. When she was still at it a minute later with no signs of stopping, one of my hands started trailing the handle of that trusty fork down my stomach. Maybe, if I could take care of the main attraction, a little sideshow in the back room wouldn't be so bad.

"Mm?" she hummed, tongue still sliding over my taut skin. She must have seen my fingers moving, because she drew back with a chuckle. "Oh, did you need me to move along?"

"Y-yeah, Elsa, I… we could try that again later, but right now I'm…"

With a solemn nod, she went right back to going down on me. Who could complain about a girlfriend like that? Just takes care of my needs without any complaint. What an angel.

"Oh ffff- MMM!" Yeah, I had to scream into my hand to let out some of my energy. Luckily, it wasn't the one holding the fork or I might have stabbed myself in the face. A minute later, I gasped, "Elsa! I'm almost there! Almost there!"

My sister did not slow down until I actually was there. It felt like she had six tongues instead of two — which she might actually have been able to pull off if she used her ice powers, but I didn't feel her mouth get any colder. I came so hard and shook all over, and the whole time Elsa just held onto my hips and devoured me like I was the best cake she had ever tried. Which was probably how she felt.

Once my heat faded, she lowered me into the cake again and smirked. "That happened awfully quickly for someone who didn't like me playing with her a little lower than usual."

"Y-yeah! Well… you… let me get pent up for multiple months!"

"That is fair. I hope my apology was satisfactory."

Pretending to think real hard about it, I screwed up my face and tapped my chin. Elsa laughed. "Weeeeeelllllllllll… on one condition."

"What condition?" She started when I moved to pin her to the bed. "Oh!"

"This one." My chosen target was her neck. She shivered a little when I ran my tongue along it, enjoying the rich chocolate mixing with the light purity of her skin. I wanted to eat Elsa whole.

"Anna… you… make it hard to breathe."

"Elsa…"

"N-no, I… I'm really-!"

With a shock, I realized she meant the way my hand was pushing into the middle of her abdomen. "OH! Shit, Elsa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" As she took a deep breath, I caressed her side. "Better? Man, I am just really dumb sometimes…"

Elsa pulled me down into her embrace. "We already covered that. You are not dumb. You have never been dumb."

"You sure? I mean, not that I'm trying to argue with you, but you keep saying that and then I keep doing dumb things."

"Because you're excited. I am, too; I've just had a lot more practice... controlling myself."

For good reason. But since she wasn't judging me, I pushed myself back up to begin devouring the cake covering her ribs and stomach. She giggled a couple of times, and I smiled at the way her abdominal muscles flexed under my lips, bumping up against my nose. I could have kept eating off her and exploring her for hours and never got bored. Not once.

"Mmhhh, this really is so good," I sighed as I got closer and closer to the finish line. "The cake, you… who could ask for more?"

"I'm glad you… approve." But I could tell she was nervous. Why? It's not like this was the first time we had done anything like this; just the first in a little while.

"Elsa?" She didn't answer right away. Watching her bite her lip and look anxious was cute, but I still prompted her, "Hey. You okay?"

"What? Oh… yes, I'm fine." My face must have looked extra unconvinced, because a second later, she relented. "I'm still a little afraid of losing control of my powers when I…"

"When you what? Oh, wait, you're- right, got it, you don't need to explain. But hey, even when you've done that before, all you did was give me a little extra blast of snow. I don't mind a cold cake."

Tittering the slightest amount, despite the fear in her eyes, she reached down to run her fingers through my sugar-matted fringe. "Neither of us do. And I know you're probably right, but I can't help but worry I will hurt you for a third time. I don't think I could take that."

"Me, either. But you won't. I hear you, I do, but I know you have a handle on this now. You've been doing so good! Nobody in Arendelle is scared of you anymore. So just… let me do the magic this time."

That was that. Even though she was still biting her lip, her brow still creased, she didn't protest further as I kissed the inside of her thigh, devouring the frosting I found there. But I still didn't like that she was wound up so tight. So I figured hey, why not try to loosen her up?

"So, if I get a couple of fingers in you and really start going to town… does that make this pound-cake?"

Oh, now she looked mad. I barely had enough time to register the movement before her foot was pushing into my face, trying to shove me off the bed entirely.

"Hey, whoa whoa, Elsa! Come on, I'm sorry!"

"Why don't I believe you?" she demanded in a would-be stern voice. The answer might have been because I was laughing up a storm. But I caught sight of her smile, which told me she was just trying to mess around with me. One of the many things I had been missing over the past thirteen years.

"Truce! I'll keep my corny jokes to myself if you don't shove me the rest of the way off this bed!" Really, I already had to whip one leg back and brace against the floor to keep from falling as it was. But she slowly began to relent. "Thank you."

"I ought to put my finger back in your 'fork holder' for that one," she grunted.

"It was one time! I don't go around carrying forks back there all the time, you know!"

"Actually, no, I don't know that. Because I never inspect the back of your dress when you are casually walking down the halls."

"You could, though…" As she just shook her head at me, I decided to get a little more playful.

"AH! Not my feet — don't bite my feet, you know how ticklish iyyyahahahhaaaa!"

Too late. My teeth were nibbling all over her chocolatey toes in retaliation for almost being knocked on my butt. The way she began kicking was extremely dangerous, but at least now my childhood memories were intact; I remembered learning by watching our father that you had to hold her leg steady when you tickled her, or you were asking for an eyeful of flailing heel.

"STOP!" she cackled. "I'm- I am about to ruin this cake! Anna!"

Right away, I broke off with a laugh. No matter how much fun I was having, it wasn't worth ruining an entire cake-bed by making her wet herself. "Okay, okay. Yellow frosting is as bad as yellow snow, I guess."

"You… monster!" But she was still laughing a little, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling in an attempt to regain her breath. Which looked like she had been doing something else.

Flawless. I was head over heels, alright.

"Sorry. But do you know how cute you are when you get tickled?"

Clearing her throat, she pushed up onto her elbows before answering me. "That is… because I didn't get to run around outside the way you did. Not after my ninth birthday. So my feet are…"

Oh. Well that was a sad reason for them to be extra sensitive. But I decided to simply kiss the one I had been attacking and say, "Perfect. You were gonna say 'perfect' right? Because that's the only answer I'm accepting right now."

Shaking her head a little at me, she let out an exasperated sigh that was followed by a small smile. "You're too kind to me."

"Nah. Just know you deserve the best."

Again, I kissed, and she hummed as her smile grew. When my lips parted to let my tongue slide between two of her toes, she rolled her eyes and pulled her foot away. "Fine, I get it, you love every inch of me."

"Glad we got that straightened out. Now, I have my eye on a couple of pastries… one sec."

Her hand raised up to rest on the back of my head when I attacked her chest. I figured she would probably appreciate having some time to recover before I went back between her thighs. The sounds floating out of her lungs were every bit as enthralling as if I had gone straight for the crux of her thighs, of course, but at least this way I could enjoy my cake a little longer.

"You are… so persistent." I switched to the other peak, my hand wrapping around the mountain below and kneading just enough to add pressure and pleasure without causing pain. "Mmmhh, and I almost want to ask if you have been practicing on someone else!"

"Maybe I made an ice-replica," I shot at her as I moved back down. Her grin was so huge. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this."

"You make it sound like you're about to go cliff-diving!" she laughed.

"Oh, I am. I'm about to dive down deep into your sound."

Elsa's lips parted, probably to reprimand me for another corny line. But all that came out was a moan when I pressed my mouth tightly against her soft folds through the frosting and chocolate. And I intended to clean every speck of that from her by the time I was finished.

My Elsa. My queen of snow and ice, grace and beauty and power. The only woman in the world. My mind and heart were full of desire for the goddess I was making writhe with my every teasing touch. And it wasn't just that she was the most beautiful girl in Arendelle, not that she had given me an orgasm so recently. This was about way more than repaying a debt or physical beauty; it was my sister. The one person who had always been a part of me, and who always will.

"A-Anna!" she gasped — well, she had been doing that for a couple of minutes, but this one was louder and stronger. Somehow, I just knew what she meant. "I'm… I'm still scared! I love you!"

I loved her, too. But I wanted to show her in some way besides slowing down to tell her with words. So I moved one hand from her hip to push our fork into hers, which had been clutching uselessly at another pile of birthday cake. And wow, did she respond! My hand was caught with the fork between our fingers, and it was such a tight grip that I felt like she would never let me go again.

Which did as much for me as I might have been doing for her.

There was more snow this time. Somehow, I had kind of expected that; I mean, when you tell an ice witch that she shouldn't hold back with her power, you're going to get more power. Makes sense, right? But even while I was still feeling her flesh pulse against my lips and tongue, her juices running down my chin, tiny pinpricks of cold were dusting my back in the spots that weren't covered by chocolate.

"Oh," I panted when I finally came up for air, satisfied that she no longer needed little licks for little aftershocks. "Snow! See? I told you everything would be fine. And this isn't even that bad!"

Though of course, we were both looking around at the winter wonderland filling the room. It was only a couple of inches deep, but spread over that large an area it still added up to a decent amount.

"It's… a lot," she panted. "But at least there aren't any… nothing dangerous."

Scoffing, I crawled up to lay my head on her shoulder, curling my entire body around hers as tightly as I could. Needing to be that close to her now. "Dangerous? You? Come on, you're a big pussycat."

"We both know… that's… a stretch." Finally, she cleared her throat and simply took in a couple of deep breaths so she wouldn't be so winded. Then she turned to look into my eyes with a smile full of afterglow and affection. "Thank you. For that, for all of this; for my perfect birthday night."

"Yeah. You got it. I'm always going to show you how much I love you, no matter how big I have to go to get the point across."

"Anna, you don't have to. I already know." We shared a firm kiss. Then she crinkled her nose. "Oh, that's… did you really enjoy me adding that to your cake? It's so strange."

"Maybe I wouldn't have if I didn't know what it was," I admitted with a giggle. "But knowing? Oh yeah. Totally hot."

"If you say so." Then she suddenly looked horrified. "Oh no — my lips have- you were kissing-"

"All I tasted was Sister-Queen and cake," I headed her off before she actually said it out loud. "Don't have to make it even more gross. Seriously, you didn't run away from my butt? I thought that would be a fate worse than death!"

"No, no," she reassured me, completely contented now that we had both enjoyed ourselves and could relax. "I wasn't lying for your benefit; it wasn't that bad. Especially when mixed with chocolate cake. Though I agree with you about my essence on this subject; probably wouldn't have enjoyed it not knowing what it is, or by itself. Well…"

Running my index fingertip in small circles on her stomach, I prompted, "Well?"

"I could try it by itself. Maybe. Someday."

"Go ahead. I won't… well, I might judge a little, but since we're already sisters who knock boots, it's not gonna hold a lot of water."

"Mmhmm. I suppose that's a valid point."

"Ohhhhh, I just wanna lay here forever!" I burst out as I curled even harder around Elsa, and she laughed again, nuzzling into my hair. "Though I do have another bath ready in the next chamber. I'm no doctor, but it's probably not the best idea for us to leave cake in some of the places we have cake right now."

Nodding, she whispered, "In a minute. This is so comfortable. Actually, I'm surprised we're not sinking all the way down to the floor."

"Oh — yeah, that's because we took a bed-sized wooden box and made the cake on top of that. Like, it's pretty much a bunch of little cakes smushed together in a grid pattern to make one huge sheet cake, and then we just put the icing all over it and down the sides with the right colours and patterns. So it looked like a real bed, with a quilt and all."

"Clever," she chuckled, scratching at my rib cage just enough to prompt a giggle from me before she stopped. "Really, I was flabbergasted at first, but now I really admire all the work you did for this. Because it turned out to be a lot of fun."

Her praise made my heart glow. "It did, didn't it? Chocolate cake slumber party. Go me."

We both fell into the kind of comfortable silence you can only have with family. Lover, sister, friend… Elsa was all of those things to me. And we had beaten all the odds and found our way back to each other, and we were alive, and our lives were wonderful. There wasn't much else I could ask for.

"I love you, my Anna," she breathed into my hair before rolling over to prop herself up on her elbow and look at me. I mirrored the gesture, gazing into her eyes.

"Love you, too, Majesty. And I always will."

Elsa kissed me hard and long, and held me close for such a long time that time itself ceased to hold meaning. Definitely not your run-of-the-mill anniversary of being born, but I finally knew: what we had? Different-good. The best kind of different a princess could ask for.

~ Takk for Reisen ~

#Min Søster Bursdagskake #cake fic #min soster bursdagskake #forkanna writes #elsanna fanfiction #elsanna fandom #elsanna #jess the writer #the cake fic

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charmandhex · 5 years ago

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Master Post Part 1

So this is gonna get recursive thanks to tumblr’s restriction on number of links you can put in a post. Whoops! Let’s see if this works. This one will be for my most popular fics and all of the series.

Party of Four or More (series)

Party of Four

The main fic, the biggest of boys. A canon divergent fic wherein Angus solves Glamour Springs several months before thb meet up for a job with Gundren. Currently just finished Crystal Kingdom, and I’m very, very slowly making progress on the Lunar Interlude.

Taako’s Amazing Guide on How to Accidentally Adopt a Kid

A companion piece of some in between moments on Party of Four, centered around Taako and Angus. Can be read as a standalone, but it is in my opinion better with the context of Party of Four.

At Death Do We Start

Did someone say Taakitz Week 2019 action-filled, goof-riddled, reunion tour redux rom com marriage adventure? No? Neither did I, actually, but that's what this turned out to be. Still in progress, probably around halfway through. I have solid plans for the rest of this fic. I home brewed a robot for this fic, y’all!

The Many Parents of Angus McDonald (series)

Post-canon fluff featuring Angus and anyone who could ever be his parent. Absurdly long titles, found family, and flagrant fire code room occupancy violations.

The Many Parents of Angus McDonald, or How Many People Can Even Fit in this Meeting?

The first one! Angus has a parent teacher conference, but does he have parents? Spoiler alert that answer is yes!

The Many Parents of Angus McDonald, or How Many People List Saving the World on their Resume Anyway?

It’s Career Day and Angus is going to win for best parent careers whether he planned to or not.

Taakitz Week 2018 (series)

Taakitz week shenanigans. Each can be read as a standalone. All have happy endings and most are fluff.

Of Hard Hitting News and the World’s Worst Shoes. AU wherein Lup and Ren lovingly bully Taako into a fashion show and Kravitz is a reporter. This feels like a fever dream now; when and where and how.

Out of Order but Perfectly in Place. Domestic Taakitz discussing their relationship, featuring the cats.

All at once everything is different now that I see you. Visible bonds and soulmate AU inspired by the incomparable Kat Adventurezone.

Pieces of Who We Used to Be. Kinda angsty, honestly, Taako’s dealing with some memories and Kravitz listens.

Pas de Deux. Sort of role swap AU featuring eighth Bird Kravitz. It’s that universe’s version of the Chug and Squeeze featuring dancing.

Blupjeans spinoff of Pas de Deux. You think enemies to lovers Taakitz is fun; wait until you see enemies to lovers but still very much enemies right now Blupjeans. (This one’s on tumblr but I’m listing it here too)

For Better or Worse. Taako plans a birthday party for Kravitz and everything goes wrong. Deals with anxiety, so cw on that. This one covered days 6 and 7; I didn’t skip anything.

Saving the World is Easier Than This (series)

Canon compliant (mostly) series about moments between the arcs. Each can be read as a standalone fic.

Bureau of the Traveling Bard Pants. Johann-centric. Everyone steals a singular pair of pants from Johann (and from each other) and flaunts this fact in front of him. Possibly me at my funniest.

Good Night, Moon Base, or Brad Gets Everyone to Go the Duck to Sleep. Brad is very stressed out because these people don’t sleep. Writing it made me cry. But I also think it’s hilarious.

Song of Rest. Brad is stressed out because people don’t sleep redux. Featuring Brad’s attempt to barricade Lucretia out of her office to get her to sleep.

Much-Needed Rest. Lucretia at the BoB sickfic. Everyone’s gonna take care of her. Lucretia and Magnus friendship. Chicken soup from a can for the soul.

Dungeons, Dragons, and Degrees (series)

A college AU. Fluffy. Definitely drawing from my own college experience. Each fic can be read as a standalone. It’s effectively on hiatus for any further fics until I get inspiration (please brain give me the Blupjeans I need).

We all scream for ice cream. Or because it’s a disaster. Taakitz. Fluffy. Taako is nudged into talking to Kravitz at the university dining hall.

Rule #1: Always have an umbrella. Named for my favorite piece of advice for incoming freshmen. Magnulia, it’s raining, and Magnus wipes the fuck out because I nearly did on wet pavement.

Duck, Duck, Date. Sweet Flips time! Carey wants to ask out Killian and succeeds; Carey and Killian proceed to go on a date.

Kind of a Candlenights miracle. Candlenights Magnulia, featuring Magnus attempting to propose.

Redundant Master Post Link

#charm works #charm master post

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makeste · 5 years ago

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BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace

okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.

so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.

anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.

so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!

all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.

I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).

this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.

and I think that’s it! so here we go.

so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill

there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay

...what

guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??

you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...

okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??

this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways

so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever

lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg

TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST

and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today

this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it

also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh

OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN

at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS

now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!

lmaooo

I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”

(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)

anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears

the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in

anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip

which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows

and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time

oh my god

no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just

and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!

now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks

hey, what!!

WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword

now it’s a sludge monster omake!

so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him

oh no All Might

my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids

wow All Might

sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect

looooool

lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude

btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love

lmao what the fuck

ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series

now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred

sob what

I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp

(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)

now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags

oh my god

nope nevermind. nope. nope

-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized

and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ

anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves

OH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE

Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon

oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off

so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series

so! onward to chapter two

so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??

“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might

lmao check out the past users of OFA here

All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly

so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then

HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here

in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it

so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name

given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife

lol what in the fuck

the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho

I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally

lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??

now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”

omg Deku no

somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now

OH SHIT

PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY

anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks

what the fuck is this fucking series lmao

time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY”

holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone

NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS

my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??

lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment

AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD

do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point

here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else

this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit

now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes

LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK

AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A

“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE

now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet

and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks

OMFG

THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars

now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car

thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes

and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people

anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops

bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too

and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas

lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg

I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes

and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory

I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort

oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg

lol what the fuck

this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh

okay now we’re doing the hair scene

oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda

motherfucker they really --

Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this

OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT

lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow

so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.

#bnha smash!!#boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #all might #midoriya inko #mt. lady #kamui woods #bnha smash!! 01 #bnha smash!! 02 #makeste reads bnha #the pile o' trash is a legit plothole though you guys #are we just supposed to pretend it magically vanished #they really drew deku standing shirtless on top of a heap of garbage #and in the very next panel declared that the beach was spotless??#so what is the truth #someone #answer me

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