#TOO big

[whole-wheat-witch]

No-no-no not the whole bottle dear patron-

...I guess there's not much we can do about it now besides make you comfortable while it takes affect. You'll want to unbutton your shirt and pants, and I'd prefer if you stepped into the back room so as to not knock the shelves and other products when you begin your growth. I'll stay by you till the process concludes just to make sure it goes along as smoothly as possible, don't worry.

The gurgling? Yes, well I suppose your stomach will be fairly noisy for the next few minutes as you-

Was that a button? I thought I told you to unbutton it already so exactly this wouldn't happen. Do you know how dangerous it is to have buttons popping off and flying across a shop full of breakables?

Just take my hand, darling, let's just get you in the room before you do anymore damage. Tread lightly now, I suspect you'll find your steps are a lot heavier now than they were before, they- goodness, you're certainly coming along nicely. I'd say you were pregnant with twins if I didn't know what was going on.

Right, now just sit down and- try to relax as best you can. Yes, we keep the backroom empty for just this or any other number of....mishaps.

Sweetie, your pants are tearing. I suppose your thighs have thickened up quite considerably. Your ass seems to be following suit in a rather nice manner if it's any consolation. Your muffin top seems to be developing rapidly too if you don't mind me saying. I'd recommend you lose the pants before you burst out of them.

Yes, I said burst-

Oh. Well I guess it's too late now. Yes, that's the um, bursting I was referring to.

Yours has certainly been very noisy, I understand but this is typically where the growth stops. However since you took an entire bottle, I can't be sure-

Dear patron, I hope you don't mind me saying but you look like you've swallowed an exercise ball. Your thighs? Roughly the size of a few hams, the few seams of your pants could be the wrapping strings. It really is a close image, isn't it?

I-

Well yes, dear patron I will admit that one was rather loud. I imagine your body is fighting to keep up with all the growth you're making it experience. All the fat you're laying onto your hips and neck, bulging your appearance to that of a cartoonish-ly overweight glutton.

I know, I can see that your stomach has reached your knees and I know you probably can't see me over it anymore so I'll move to the side. There, is that view better? It certainly is a big thing. But I suspect the growth should stop soon, after you've gained a few more rolls and you've put another meter along the diameter of this.

Yes, dear, I said another meter. You should be thanking your lucky stars you haven't torn in half already, but I'm sure these stretch marks show it hasn't been particularly easy work either. Goodness, darling. You're sweating like a pig, here let me wipe that for you. Is that better?

Don't worry, dear patron. I'll help you out when this is all over and you're too big to even fathom moving. We'll get you a nice, cozy spot on the property. A nice, big spot for our resident ball of lard.

[knopfi02]

how am I supposerd to fit my email in there??

[aimuscle]

Maybe there is something like "Too Big"...

[digital-slvt]

18+ 😭🙏🏻

guys... i'm barely used to 2 fingers .. how the fuck am i supposed take this massive dildo ... i bought it in the closest color i could find to sevika and GOD im gonna need a LOT of foreplay with her on c.ai before even the tip of this thing goes in 😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

i actually lowkey hope no one sees this .. but i needed to put it SOMEWHERE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[anonartist309]

IMPLIED INKY BROS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

“I heard a voice speak to me today but it sounded like my own.”

[totaldivide]

ooooo you know I had to make a wolfwood (and then put them together)

[that-ineffable-devil]

One of my all time favorite things about Crowley is the way he's not afraid to take up space.

That signature stalking gay strut that tells you to run--though you're not sure whether it's towards or from--or at the very least get out of his way.

The open-legged slouchy way he sits in chairs, somehow exuding supreme confidence and aloofness yet extreme vigilance.

The way he's not afraid to be in the way. How his body language says "I'm here and I will make that everyone else's problem if I don't like what's going on."

I know internally he's a lot more scared than he lets on, but you'd never know it just from seeing him on the street.

[norealclue]

How big is Optimus Prime?

(NSFW warning)

Note: this is based on the Bayverse Optimus

If we’re talking Knightverse….

Optimus Prime is 28.5 feet (868.68 cm) tall in AOE and TLK. Globally, the average man is 174cm tall. The average erect penis world wide is 12.95-13.97cm. We’re gonna work with 13.5cm to assume absolute average and for a nicer number. Let’s calculate using cross-multiplication.

Here’s the formula:

(Average male height)/(Average penile length)=(Prime’s height)/(Prime’s length)

Prime’s length is unknown, so we’ll replace it with x. Now we have:

174cm/13.5cm=868.68cm/x

Let’s do some cross multiplication!

174x = 13.5(868.68)

174x = 11727.18

X = 67.40cm or X= 26.53 inches

But wait! What about girth? That’s a great question. Let’s do the math.

Average circumference of an erect penis is 12cm. Using the same method as before, we find that his circumference is 59.90cm or 23.58 inches. That’s about the size of a volleyball.

BUT WAIT! WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST THREE MOVIES? He’s 36 feet tall in the first three movies which is a SIGNIFICANT difference. Using the same method… The man is packing a length of 85.60cm or 33.70 inches and a girth of 76.09cm or 29.96 inches. That’s the size of a large dinner plate.

Go get em ladies ;)

[kungfu-grip]

Super Smash Dril: Ridley

movies that portray Dragons in a positive light are marked with a golden marble, while movies racist against Dragons are given a frowning Ass.

[yoan-le-grall]

[sp00ky-p00ky]

I was cleaning and found this shirt I got in an old Loot Crate circa 2014/2015. This shirt is a Men's 3XL.

Friends... I have never worn a 3XL in my life, current or past 🤣😂 But it's a Voltron shirt, so we're gonna make it work!

So, I cut the collar off, and then I cut MORE off the neck, and even though I'm absolutely swimming in this, it's comfortable, and I love it!!

✨️ fashion ✨️😆

[uglygrrl]

he boot too big for he goddamn feet !!!

[nostalgia-mind-prison1995]

He Boot Too Big For He Gotdamn Feet