#this is just like that george michael song: one more try

[bishy437]

I should have read this sooner--

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

careless whisper

♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡

❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁

You can read this as it is but if you wanted more from this, here's a sequel "Baby Come Back"

﹆ Summary : you loved him with all your heart but he became unfaithful and there's nothing that he can do to mend it, is it really your last dance together?

﹆ Word Count : and again hoping it's not that too long for y'all

﹆ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️KingSteve! x FEM!reader, cursing, Steve and reader are both (18), unprotected sex, p in v penetration, both oral receiving, SMUT‼️, slight public sex I guess?, Steve will be so oblivious with readers feelings, cheating, unrequited love, friends to lovers, emotional abuse, tolerating, no use of y/n, not going to give any spoilers in here but beware that this will be ANGSTY!

﹆ What to Expect : SMUT‼️, FLUFF‼️, ANGST‼️, Steve and reader are the IT couple on Hawkins High, of course- by the term "King Steve" you know what that means, sorry ✌🏻

﹆ Note To Reader : Y'ALL BABY'S FIRST EVER STEVE HARRINGTON FIC!!!! AHHHHH <3 I'm so excited to spill all of my ideas about my first ever fave character from the show! and yeah I also apologize that I chose to do angst first 😔🤚🏻

﹆ Author Note : this is literally one of my favorite songs from George Michael and don't come at me, okay?!? I was just listening to this song and I was like why is this so Steve coded?!? AND YUP IT CLICKED AN IDEA!!!! ;))

Present : Prom 1984

"How are you holding up?" He asks as he tries to look at your eyes but you're avoiding it

"Been alright" you say as you look at him very briefly, your touches with him as you both swayed in the dance floor it felt different

His heart sunk when you couldn't even look into his eyes in the same way again

The eyes that are once so dreamy when you both locked in

He can tell that you're still moving on from him

He can tell that your eyes speaks louder than words

He can tell that you're still hurting because of him

Past : He shouldn't had an affair with someone else

"Diana, she isn't-"

"I know"

Steve is staggered as he swallows nervously in front of you, he wishes to be sucked down deeply on the floor and never to be seen again

He's ashamed for himself

He doesn't understand the meaning and the idea of love until it hits him like a block of bricks

And it hit really hard to the point that right after he slept with the other woman that night after the party that you both went out

He realized he made a mistake

A huge mistake that "sorry" can never undo the damage to what he has been done

Once the trust is broken it can never be fixed

You know he had a choice not to choose to cheat on you

But you laugh in disbelief as you think about it

Oh, right, he's King Steve

He doesn't know feelings and wants to keep his title to stay relevant

"W-Wait, you knew?"

"Everybody at school knows about it, Steve" you tried your very best to mask your pained expression but he can see it

The look on your face pierces right through his chest as he gulps

You have every right to be mad at him

You have every chance to shout and yell at him

But you didn't....

You talk so cold like it doesn't even matter to you

He darts his eyes everywhere in the room as he spoke again "After all this time?"

You sigh tiredly "Yeah"

He shook his head at you as he couldn't believe what you just said

"How? H-How you look-"

"What- I look what?!"

"You look...fine"

You incredulously laugh "Of course, I've had to Steve, we both got a title to keep it stable, right?" You reply to him in a mockery way as he averts his eyes somewhere else

"If you knew then why are you still with me?"

You frown at his words as you take all the courage to not breakdown at him, to not show him that you're weak but you failed since....

You love him too much that it's okay if you break apart from him

"Because I love you, Steve! Why don't you get that?!?"

Your chest heaves heavily as you try to control your breath as you cried angrily but also filled with sadness and frustration

Steve gasps, the moment you snap at him and saw you for the first time like this

You've never showed your side of vulnerability, yes, you've told him a couple of glimpses of your life but never this

Now, his eyes burned with forming tears as he tries to close his mouth in shock

You loved him? No one has ever loved him truly before

"I loved you so much that I play pretend so I can keep you!" You hiccupped into your own tears

"I loved you too" he said it out loud before he can stop himself, you saw how his eyes widens when he realizes what he just said

It's like a record scratch, you stare at him with your tear-stained cheeks as you studied his face

You blink, "What?!?"

"I've been drawn to you ever since we we're friends"

"S-Steve" you shift on your stance

"You're the only friend that I've ever had, who knows me better than I do"

You throw your palms on your face as you continue to sob

You're both dating for almost 2 years but why does he have to betray you to make him realize that he is in love just like you?

"Is this true?" You quietly say as you wipe away your tears

"Yes, it is" he walks closer to you but you moved away giving him the signal that you don't want him to hold you

"I-I tried to ignore the signs before that I thought maybe you- you just wanted this for to gain something"

What the fuck?

"Is that all really matters to you? Steve? don't you even think about how much I've suffered to maintain my sweet-like personality whenever we walked in the hallways?!?"

He thought maybe if he confessed his true feelings to you, everything will go back to normal

But it doesn't....

Not even the truth will bring the both of you comfort

Pain is all there ever is

"I've wanted to scream and I'm so tired to act like everything is okay, I really really wanted us to last, Steve"

"Turns out it was just only me who wanted to have a future with you"

The words just rolls out of your bitter tongue and it's a punch to his gut

"N-No, that isn't true" he begs

"You lost me, Steve, you had your chance and you blew it" you sniffle

Before he can say anything, you left him alone in his house as his eyes are still glued at the closed door hoping that you'll come back

But you never ever did

Future : if only he's loyal to you this wouldn't happen

You endured every single thing that his friends talked about you

Talked about, you're not fit into their world

Saying that "she doesn't belong here" but you didn't care because why?

You loved him

You love Steve Harrington despite what everyone else says

You don't care about titles

You don't care about these social cliques

You just wanted to have good friends and well, maybe love

Everybody adored you at school saying that you're the sweetest and kindest popular girl, it's actually rare for them to have those qualities because most of them are fucking assholes

You even overheard some other people like how did you even get into this situation?

Back in 1982, you're a new kid at school and you somehow manage to get into King Steve's heart without any hassle

You wished you've only stayed as friends

So, this wouldn't have hurt this much

"Steve!"

"What?"

"You know I'm ticklish!"

"I don't know" he feigns innocence and he still continues torturing you into your side as he towers over you as you lay at the grass with a blanket on his backyard

"Stop!" You say with a breathy laugh

He chuckles when you pout at him holding the both of his wrists "Okay, okay"

There's a moment that both of you halted over your silliness at each other

He never felt anything like this before

His heart is beating so loud that he could hear it throbbing on his ear

Your eyes went everywhere to his face

He is absolutely so beautiful up close like this

You're the first one to break the whatever that was

He nods as he runs his fingers through his hair as he watches you

He is so thankful that he has someone like you

You've never judged him, you let him know that emotions are valid that he can always count on you

You comforted him on his darkest days, you're the sunshine that help him to forget his absent parents

You feel so sorry for him when he told you he's alone most of the time in his enormous house

Yeah, maybe he's wealthy but he did not once felt happy until you came along

You're like an angel, he knows that he made the right decision to sit next to you at English Class, that's where it all began your newfound friendship

A part of him is afraid at that time you might back out if you found out that he's King Steve and his reputation at school

He is surprised that you didn't knew anything about him and that gives him a relief

After everything crashed down, now, you wished you knew all about him that's how he thinks about love

It's all just fun and games to him

You cursed at yourself for being so lovesick

A smile grows on his lips as watches you ate cherries on the vanilla milkshake that he make for you, it's your favorite

The whipped cream went on the sides of lips as you take a sip from the straw

He swiped it using his thumb and you blushed at his sudden action

He licked it off clean as you watch him

He catches you staring, there's a unreadable gleam on your eyes that he didn't not quite understood yet

Steve can't even register that he's moving closer to you and you froze as you hold your milkshake tightly as he cradles your cheek

He runs his tongue over his lips as his eyes stare at your rosy lips

He moves inches closer and your breath hitches, your mouth is slightly open as you look at him

He gave you one last look before he dive in

Your lips are now connected to his as he pulled you closer to him, he snatches your milkshake away as he puts it down as you start squirming and shut your eyes as you throw your arms around him

He smiles through the kiss as he deepens making you moan and his heart flutters at the sound of it, your hand crawls through his perfectly styled hair and he made a guttural groan at your move as you tug it slightly

His hands went at your waist as he squeezes it, the touch is overwhelming and your skin feels on fire everytime he grabs and graze his fingertips under over your clothed body

He slowly made you lay down beneath the blanket as you spread your legs to position himself on top of you

Your heart had never been this so fast, he tilts his head over the side as you yelp when his hands went under your skirt he starts toying with the garter of your panties, he smirks through the kiss

He cuts off your heated make out session as he removes his shirt and his eyes widens when you chase his lips as he pecks on it, you blink at his bared chest as you became flustered yet again, your fumbled panicky with the buttons of your blouse but he halted you as you let him undress you

It reveals a red lacy bra as he wolfishly whistles and you playfully slapped his chest as you duck your head down in a shy manner

God, why you gotta be so adorable?

He uses his index finger and his thumb to lift your chin to make you look at his gaze as you finally take him in

His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess and both of you are matching the same looks

The look that he's giving you, it's enough to make your mouth run dry and the wetness is pooling between your red lacy underwear

It doesn't take him too long to kiss your lips once again as he rises up slowly to undo his belt and his pants along with his boxers

He unclasps your bra as he throws on the side doesn't really matter where it lands as your hands when back onto your skirt to unzip it as you shimmy down and put it away

He reaches at your red lacy underwear but the moment he struggles to get it off, he starts to get impatient he snaps it just right about where your knees making you squeal

"I'll get you a new one, don't worry, baby" he growls as his hot kisses went everywhere on your chest and you can tell that he is hesitant to touch you

He doesn't even know if you wanted this but as if you can read his mind, the second thoughts were erased as you told him

"Steve, it's okay, you can touch me"

You breath heavily with his kneading your breasts as he plants smearing marks on your neck hitting that sweet spot making you mewl

He pats your thigh as a signal to wrap it on his hips

He holds your waist aggressively you know it will be bruised and it turns you on even more

You gasp as you can felt his tip intruding your tight hole as you can feel him entering smoothly along with your juices and arousal

It doesn't even needed a lubrication, he is drenched because of you

"Jesus Christ, y-you're dripping wet" he grunts as he watches your cunt devouring him as he can see your eyes fighting to stay open

He smirks as he fills you all the way up, you throw your head onto the side as you bit down your bottom lip

"S-Steve, please move"

He is so big to make you scream as you finally adjusted to his size and felt comfortable with pain and pleasure

He puts the other leg down as he lifts the other one as he puts over his shoulder and pulls you down closer to him that earned a whimper from you

He starts rutting in and out slowly, he hasn't even done anything and yet, it's driving you crazy

The squelching noises, the slamming back and forth with his slow pace as you start clenching around him

"Goddamn it, baby, you gotta stop doing that" his mouth is hanging open and already knows what heaven feels like

This is heaven

He doesn't ever want to leave

"M-Move f-faster" you stuttered between soft moans as you pawing at his hairy covered chest as he begins to go rough on you

Your hand flew over as you slapped and covered your mouth as your breasts start to jiggle from his movement, he tear off your hand as he pins it down

"Don't be shy on me, I wanna hear you loud and clear"

You whine and arched your back as he start to held both of your arms to go along with his neck as he pulls you even more further making him go deeper inside of you as you throw your head back and you gave him his wishes

You moaned beautifully as he devilishly smirks as he kisses you again but this time is filled with lust and teeth began to clash

Your whole body feels lumpy as both of you went back down as he raises both of your arms over the top of your head as he pounds at you placing kisses all over your face

You watch him down below as he fucks you ramming his way so easily

Your eyes rolls back as your high pitched moans went "ah-ah-ah" he feels so fucking great to hear those coming out of you because he's the one that made you feel like this

"So tight, baby, you're killing me"

"S-Steve, don't sto-p"

You wrap your legs around him as you tangle at him along with his body to push him down

"Oh shit!" he exclaims as his eyes darkens

You giggle but the time when he fingers touched your clit and you shudder

"Not so funny are we now, baby?" He bullys your clit earning a lewd noises falls from your lips

You nod at him pathetically as you matched his movements making him chuckle darkly

He lets go of your hands as he hooks his hand under your knees as he sheathes himself inside of you

You started babbling at him saying "S-Steve- fuck! That's it right there!" You shouted out loud but not without a moan

Yes, this is what he wanted

Let the neighbors hear you that he's the one who giving you this sweet pleasure

He thrusts as you shake your head begging for a release

"Yes, baby, I know, just let it go, I got you"

"ah-Steve!-oh"

You moan wildly as you chant his name as you came undone

He spills his load painting your flesh walls white

Your legs are trembling and you're shaking badly as he lazily smile as his spent body went boneless on top of you

You embrace him with your warmth along with your tangled legs as you kept him in place

His eyes go big when he realizes he had done something, you felt him became tense as you hold him softly by his shoulder blades

Despite, the fiery sex that you just both had, you're still in that haze but you remembered that both of you just did that on his backyard is making you feel fuzzy

He carefully rips himself off of you as he start scrambling to get on with his boxers

You immediately missed his scent on you

You furrow your brows as you watch him run off with that worried look on his eyes

You didn't have the time to wear your discarded clothes as you chose to grab his towel that is hanging around the lounge chair that he uses when he wants to take a dip from his swimming pool, you covered it with your naked body

"Steve! Wait- what is it?" You asked him with concern his heart feels booming inside of his chest by the tone of your voice

You really did care about him

This is all too good to be true

You followed him as he moves the sliding the door as he went outside he stopped once he's in there

You stare at behind his back and insecurities are now lurking in the shadows

Did he regret it?

Just run off and never look back save yourself from rejection

But you didn't instead, you touched his shoulder softly as he melts with it, you call out to his name again, you swore you heard him crying

He slowly turns his body around facing you and now you met Steve's eyes with threatening tears that are about to fall

"O-Oh my god, Steve? Are you okay?- Tell m-"

"W-We didn't use protection- and I-" he croaked up in his own tears

"I came inside of you and I didn't even asked you first that if you wanted this to happen" he motions at the two of you and you can see the guilty look from his eyes as he rests his forehead against with yours

Your eyes softens as it starts become glossy

Did he ruin your friendship?

Did he broke the last precious thing that meant a lot from him?

"Steve, it's fine, I've wanted you to"

His blinked the tears away just to see your face clearly

"Y-You wanted it?" He says as he holds your hands raising it closer to his face as he kisses it

You take a deep breath through your nose as you brave enough to confess your feelings

"I wanted you more than as a friend, Steve"

The swallows the lump on his throat as his chest eases out from tension

"The truth is that I love you, Steve" a fallen tear as you smile at him

Your eyes are shining with so much affection that he doesn't have before and it scares him

He shakes his head in disbelief as he watches you hug him

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that I do, I am really in love with you"

He squeezes his eyes shut to your words as he hugs you tightly as he rests on the crook of your shoulder

He finally got what he wanted all of his life

Until, he realizes it was too late

He was too late for him to figure it all out, when you finally made up your mind that you want him in the first place

You loved him too early, he loved you too late

Aftermath : you can't ever lie to yourself that you still want him after how he treated you harshly

As much as you wanted to cling on to him and keep things the way they were

You know what's best for you

You know it's the right thing to do

You know deep down to your soul that you don't want this to end

But this is all too much for you, too much for you to bear

The agony, pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartache, if you continue this, you will be miserable

You want it keep it going, hell, if he asked you to marry him, you would, fuck, he might not even finished saying the lines, you will say "yes" to everything

But his heart is elsewhere, his mind is remains afloat

You got your heart and your soul devoted to him, you gave your most sacred value, your body

Only to be wasted to be washed away down the drain

But still, you've never regret doing it to him,

But no matter what you do, no matter how many times he apologizes to you, sure, you can see it that he despised his fault for your failed relationship

It isn't feel right and it isn't working

You can't see and look at him in the same way before, all you can see is....

It's deceitful, it's making you so angry but you will never show how hot-headed you are

Because, yet again, you loved him, no matter how you wanted to scratch his face out of madness

He is intimidated by your whole sense of nonchalant micro expressions but he knows behind that mask

You're upset

You know it yourself that you've done everything that you could ever give to him

You conclude in your own thoughts alone that you aren't enough for him

There might be sprinkle of insecurity that you wanted to brush it off but that's what you feel

You supported him, take care of him, you've been a good listener, you've been a loving girlfriend of his that in other people lenses

You're just an eye candy

Now, you understand what you've gotten those sympathetic eyes on you at school

Because this is all what comes down to....

You're just another girl that he got himself a jackpot to his prize

Just another trophy to his collection that he just....slept with you and he'll do it again after to the next girl that he got eyes targeted

Despite at how brutal that sounds

You will always love him

Back to Prom 1984

You can feel everyone's eyes on the both of you

You're dancing together at the center of the dance floor

They knew about you and Steve's relationship and the infidelity that he has done

They knew about the bond that is going to fall apart

Steve thought that the music is far from being too loud, he is getting overwhelmed by it, he wants to turn it off and leave the premises with you where he feels safe

Now, he is slipping off with your delicate fingers, the only sanctuary that he has ever given and he knows that he is fucking lucky to have you

He wished that the both of you could lose this crowd

"Let's go outside"

"N-No, S-Steve- No"

He ignores your protests and he tugs at your hand leading you out of the dance floor as he tries to scrape you off your feet and dragged you outside

The students starts whispering all around

He is surprised that you let him hold you

You let him intertwined your hands with his

He pushes you outside first slowly and he closes the door behind him, the music blurs out

You wrap your arms around yourself the night chilly air hits your delectable skin as the fairy lights from the streets makes you look glowy

He sadly sighs as he finally had the chance to look at you like this again

This is the only time that he saw what's in your eyes, god- is this what he trying to dodge? what is he thinking? all he wanted is to punch himself for cheating on you

All he can see the remnants of your undying love to him on your eyes but also mixed with a cloud of gloominess

He fucked up big time

He removes his coat as he tries to give it to you

"I don't want your coat" you step away as you sternly look at him

He ignores again, your remark as he places his coat around you

"What should I do to gain back your trust, please tell me" his hazel eyes pleads for you and your eyes burning from the tears forming

Your chest tightens, you don't want to have this conversation again

You know it'll ended up so raw and you feel exposed by your feelings and the worst case

The transparency of your emotions

The seconds as he awaits for your reply, the music from the gymnasium dies

You look at him that he doesn't ever wanted to see

It terrifies him horribly as he begins to cry in front of you as you did too

"Oh, god- please no" his voice starts breaking and your heart shattered at the sound of it

He knows exactly the meaning behind your melancholic eyes

It's all sad goodbyes

"Steve, maybe it's better this way" you say as you held his cheeks as he presses himself against it at the palm of your hands as he kisses it

"No, it's not-"

He knows that you aren't a fool to this any longer, he knows what's about to happen but he can't help but beg for you to not leave him

You rip your hand out of his cheeks as he already misses your touches

You hated how fast you feel powerless over him whenever you talked to him like this

You hated how easily that he can get to touch like nothing happened

But, not this time, not anymore

You're trusting your gut, you listen to your inner voice

"Steve! If we pick up where we left off, we'd just end up hurting ourselves and it will hurt a lot more of the things that we wanted to say to each other"

"Don't say it like that- I promise that'll be better, I'll prove it to you"

You slam your lips over his and he can't help but feel the same butterflies on his stomach that he once ignored, you kissed him like it was your last breath

There's a voice inside of his head that says he something is bad is about to happen

God, if he could only turn back the time and he'll make things right

"Don't let this get over with your head, I am giving you one last dance, one last touch and one last kiss"

"N-No, please- don't let go-"

"I'm saying that this is goodbye, Steve"

"W-We could've have been so good together, we could've have this dance forever"

You smile sadly, "I wish you thought about that before you crossed me" he watches you as you take off his coat from your shoulders

Your heels hits the pavement as it starts clicking as you walked away from him

He chases you as he hugged you from behind, you breakdown in tears again, he rests his head over your shoulder as he sniffled

"Please stay"

"You will always have my heart, you know it belongs to you ever since, Steve, and I'm always going to love you, but I have to go" you caressed his hand as you remove yourself from him as you take a look at him one last time

"I love you Steve Harrington, thank you for giving me how betrayal feels like" you humorlessly chuckle as he runs his hands over his face, he keeps shaking his head sideways

You kissed his cheek as he watches you with those tired eyes, of course, you can notice everything, the dark circles surrounding his eyes

He hasn't gotten any sleep like you do

He can't sleep properly because of you

His mind and his heart screams at you

He wants you back on his life, but now, he's alone again

He hates himself and he knows what he did is unforgivable and unforgettable

"I'll miss you, take care okay?" You choke in your own tears as you fixed his hair for the last time, the kind gesture that he always admired, he can't believe that this is the last time

He holds both of your shoulders "I can't never love again, I only want you"

Your heart cracks piece by piece to his words

The time is running out, you need to move

"If you really love me you have to let me go, Steve"

He begrudgingly loosens his hold on you as he watches you walking towards your car, his eyes are fixated on you and you know it

You badly wanted to look at him again, but you decided against it, you don't even wanna leave him like this but it had to be done

He cries standing all alone on that night

You cried while driving home as your knuckles turn white as you grip on the steering wheel

He knows for a fact that he will never gonna dance again

The way he danced with you

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@steddieangstyaugust Day 19 - Music Monday: Careless Whisper – George Michael

i’m challenging myself to keep all these at either 127 or 1,270 words each, see day one for more of an explanation!

“‘S.H's SEX MEX’?” Steve’s head whips around, staring wide-eyed at the tape in Eddie’s hand. “What’s this, Harrington?”

“None of your business, that’s what.” Steve stalks back to Eddie’s desk, moving to snatch the tape from him.

Eddie pulls it out of reach. “Lemme guess, George Michael’s saxophone-y stylings are heavily featured.”

It's weird, he thinks, that a song about cheating is already starting to find it's way onto these exact types of tapes but, to each their own.

Plus: Steve goes pink. Bingo.

“No. Shut up.” He swipes for it again.

“Nah uh uh–OOF!” Eddie’s teasing is cut short when Steve fully tackles him to the ground.

He stares dumbly up at him, every bit of his body that’s pinned under Steve feels like it’s on fire.

Steve snatches the tape from his hand and sits up, straddling Eddie’s legs in triumph.

“HA! Take that, Muns—”

“OooOHhhh! The fallen King falls lower! Caught in the lap of the town freak!” Tommy Hagan’s dumb freckled face sneers from the doorway.

Steve twists around at the sound of Tommy’s voice (a move that doesn't help Eddie’s ‘cute boy in his lap’ problem in the slightest), turns back to give Eddie another panicked look, then bolts up and out the door, face red as a stoplight.

“Think you’re real cool for gettin’ Stevie in your freak flock, Munson?”

“Didn’t think you still cared about Stevie, Hagan.” Eddie says, standing and brushing himself off, “Looked to me like you dropped him the second you had a new piece of ass to follow around.” He’s been getting some vibes from both Hagan and Hargrove ever since the latter arrived in Hawkins.

Pink Dalmatian is… well, Eddie wouldn’t say it’s a good look for Tommy, but it’s... different. “Shut the fuck up, Munson!”

“Oh yeah? Or what, you’ll sick your beefy boyfriend on me?” Eddie shrugs, nonchalant, “Gotta warn you though, I might like it.” he grins.

Tommy goes pinker, then leaves too, steam streaming out his ears.

Eddie’s decided he hates this fuckin’ mall.

Jameson’s record shop down on Main is already pricing down their stock to compete with the Sam Goody that’s opened up a couple doors down from here, and they’ve been sellin' music since Wayne was a kid 100 years ago!

Stupid fuckin’ mall.

In the middle of vowing to never set foot in this brightly-lit hellscape after he’s finished with his sundae, who should walk in but Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington. In a sailor suit. Just walked into Scoops Ahoy. Blue shorts, tall socks, matching fuckin shoes. Jesus H. Christ.

And what’s worse? The moment Eddie had looked up, the moment Steve set foot across the threshold, what should start playing over the speakers but the cheesy saxophone intro to Careless Fuckin’ Whisper.

Steve walks behind the counter, waves goodbye to whoever it was that he’s taking over for, and grabs a bucket. 

Eddie, the only person in here at 2:15pm on a Wednesday, watches as he starts methodically wiping down all the tables.

He glances up at some point and gives Eddie a tight-lipped smile before getting back to it. 

It knocks Eddie out of his reverie and he goes back to his now-soupy sundae. 

He hears Steve shuffle away at some point, but he’s not about to be caught staring again. 

The thought of what Steve’s ass looks like in those shorts almost breaks him but he stays strong, swirling his spoon around in his melted cup of goo.

He’s about to cut his losses and try to sneak a peek when a voice pipes up from in front of him.

“Thought you might need some of these.” Steve says, holding out a short stack of napkins.

“Uh.. thanks?” Eddie says, taking them.

“No problem.” Then he’s gone. 

Why would he think Eddie needed—- oh Jesus fucking Christ.

Eddie’s got a glob of vanilla ice cream melting down the front of his shirt. 

“God fuckin’---” he scrubs at the spot futilely, the flimsy napkins disintegrating against the fabric. 

The sundae’s in the trash not long after, along with his pride.

After spring break from hell, after the bats, the hospital, the NDAs, managing to come out the other side with not one but, what, 11? more friends, he and Steve are teetering on the edge of something.

Chrissy and Robin had gotten very close in the immediate aftermath of the former’s ill-fated trip to the Munson abode, bonding at first over Blondie, then over movies, then milkshakes, and kisses and– you get the idea.

He and Steve had somehow ended up on a weird duplicate of the same path. There was bonding over Dio of all things, over Star Wars, then over the ‘Ring Lord’ books as Steve liked to call them; now all that’s left to do is the date stuff if they’re gonna follow in their platonic soulmates’ footsteps.

And no matter what he’s seen happen in this stupid fuckin’ town, that’s not something he can even fathom happening.

Until.

“Hey Eds, what’re you doing on Friday night?”

Eddie shrugs, still half-focused on the miniature he’s painting for Will. “You’re lookin’ at it, Steve-o.” another touch of purple there… “Why?”

“Wanna come over? We can pick up take out from Enzo’s and watch a movie..?”

Why’s he sound so weird? Sounds like any one of their other hangouts, except the Enzo’s, that’s new. He looks up at Steve, a weird angle since he’s on the floor in front of the coffee table and Steve’s still on the couch. “Sure, sounds fun, but why Enzo’s?”

Steve’s cheeks look brighter, “I dunno, I’ve been craving fettuccine, we can get pizza if you want…?”

“Nah man, just get me some garlic bread and I’m good.” Eddie grins, going back to his work. Steve seems to relax further into the couch.

Until.

Eddie knocks on Steve’s door at 6pm on Friday evening. He scratches a spot on his arm under his jacket sleeve, wonders again why Wayne insisted Eddie not wear his favorite holey jeans and cut-off Black Sabbath tee.

Steve opens the door, “Hey! Eddie..”

“Hey Steve, you look nice.” he’s wearing a button-down shirt, odd. “What’s with the shirt?”

He looks down at himself, “Oh, just what I had left in my closet. C’mon in man..”

They’re halfway through their pasta when it hits him.

Like snapping out of a daydream, Eddie looks around.

Candles, nice shirt, pasta, wine that Steve apologized for because he “Ran out of beer, sorry.”...

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Oh my god!”

“What?!”

Eddie looks up from his plate to Steve’s face. There’s a bit of sauce on his lip. “This is a date.” he breathes.

Steve’s expression shifts from confusion to embarrassment. He puts his fork down. “Um.. Yeah. It is, that okay?”

He jerks up out of his seat and all but runs around the end of the table to pull Steve out of his. 

“Look, I’m sor—” he’s cut off by Eddie’s lips on his.

“You.” another kiss. “You took me on a date.” another. “What the fuck, Steve.”

Steve’s grinning brightly now, “Yeah, I did.”

Eddie kisses him again. “I can’t believe my uncle knew before me.”

After, when they’re lying sticky and satisfied in Steve’s bed, Eddie remembers something. “I can’t believe you sexed me up without your ‘SEX MEX’.” he laughs.

Steve does too, reaching over Eddie to push a button on his stereo. 

Those damn saxophones are at it again, crooning at them both. 

“I didn’t want to accidentally ruin the mood,” Steve admits.

Eddie laughs, “Consider the mood reignited, big boy.”

uhhh this one turned out more fun/fluffy than angsty... i'm pretty sure the only angst in it is the teasing at the beginning...... but i think i needed it after all the other angst i've been writing/reading this month.. so consider this some levity!!

see the collection on ao3!

[roosterforme]

roosterforme's '80s Rocktober Playlist fic challenge

For those about to rock, we salute you!

Let's rock 'n' roll the Top Gun way! Choose an '80s rock song (or pop or country or rap...), and write a fic about one or more of our favorite Top Gun characters! Just make sure the songs are from Rooster's favorite decade, the 1980s!

Or create a banner or mood board! Go with an '80s vibe or a specific song to inspire you and run wild.

Banner credit to @mak-32. Rock on, Mak.

Rules for fics:

Please use the #top gun rocktober hashtag!!!

Once you have your song selected (first come, first served, no duplicates), please send me an ask letting me know which song and character(s) you want to write about. If your song is not listed below, just let me know what you want with your ask and I’ll add it (as long as it fits the decade). If your song has been claimed already, I'll let you know so you can choose another one.

You can use the song in the fic however you would like. Use it as the title, use some lyrics, have the song playing in the background, use it as inspiration, anything you want!

There is no real time limit, but please try to post in September or October.

Please make sure you tag me (or send me a message) when you post your story so I don’t miss it. I can’t wait to read and reblog!

Please reblog and share this with anyone who may want to participate. And reblogging fics is always a treat for writers!

If you’re under 18, do not submit or read smut.

Rules for banners and mood boards:

Please use the #top gun rocktober hashtag!!!

If you want to use a specific song, please send me an ask letting me know which song. If you want to participate with the '80s vibe and no specific song, just send me an ask and let me know you'll be submitting an image or images.

Please make sure you tag me (or send me a message) when you post so I don’t miss it. I can’t wait to reblog!

Please reblog and share this with anyone who may want to participate.

Songs and fics we are rocking out to:

1 @roosterforme What's Your Name by New Order (Bradley)

2 @beyondthesefourwalls Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper (Bradley)

3 @sylviebell Faithfully by Journey (Natasha)

4 @wkndwlff Love Walks In by Van Halen (Bob)

5 @desert-fern Jump by Van Halen (Bradley)

6 @yanna-banana Like a Prayer by Madonna (Jake)

7 @fanboyswhore9 Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer (Mickey)

8 @cherrycola27 Born to Be My Baby by Bon Jovi (Bradley)

9 @trickphotography2 Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones (Bradley)

10 @blue-aconite Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police (Jake)

11 @roosterforme Do You Wanna Touch Me? by Joan Jett (Bradley)

12 @startrekfangirl2233 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! (Mickey)

13 @bradshawsbitch Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen (Bradley)

14 @bellaireland1981 Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon (Bradley)

15 @wkndwlff Lay Your Hands On Me by Bon Jovi (Bob)

16 @beyondthesefourwalls Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield (Javy)

17 @thedroneranger Boys of Summer by Don Henley (Bradley)

18 @cottagecori Dancing With Myself by Generation X (Bob)

19 @sweetwhispersofchaos I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett (Natasha and Jake)

20 @sometimesanalice Straight Up by Paula Abdul (Bradley)

21 @lovinglyeternal Call Me by Blondie (Jake)

22 @roosterforme Adult Education by Hall & Oates (Jake)

23 @beyondthesefourwalls Your Love by Outfield (Bradley)

24 @mayhemmanaged You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC (Jake)

25 @topherwrites Love Shack by The B-52's (Bradley)

26 @ficsilike-reblogged Take On Me by A-ha (Bob)

27 @cottagecori Rock You Like a Hurricane by Scorpions (Bradley)

28 @jupitercomet Kissing a Fool by George Michael (Bradley)

29 @startrekfangirl2233 Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds (Jake and Bradley)

30 @topherwrites Just Like Heaven by The Cure (Jake)

31 @sweetwhispersofchaos As the World Falls Down by David Bowie (Natasha and Bob)

32 @inmyloveworld Open Arms by Journey (Bradley)

33 @thedroneranger Centerfold by J. Geils Band (Jake)

34 @gretagerwigsmuse Can't Hardly Wait by The Replacements (Bradley)

35 @bellaireland1981 Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar (Jake)

36 @blurredcolour Push It by Salt-N-Pepa (Jake and Bradley)

37 @blackwidownat2814 White Wedding by Billy Idol (Jake)

38 @keep-on-burnin The Look by Roxette (Bradley)

39 @cherrycola27 Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starr (Natasha and Javy)

40 @topherwrites Uptown Girl by Billy Joel (Bradley)

41 @jynxmirage If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher (Jake)

42 @notroosterbradshaw Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks (Bradley)

43 @ficsilike-reblogged Hungry for Heaven by Dio (Beau)

44 @callsign-magnolia Who's Crying Now by Journey (Bradley)

45 @trickphotography2 Every Breath You Take by The Police (Bob)

46 @sarahsmi13s Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard (Jake)

47 @roosterforme Cover Girl by New Kids on the Block (Natasha)

48 @bobfloydsbabe Alone by Heart (Jake)

49 @ughthisisntright The Stroke by Billy Squier (Bradley)

50 @wkndwlff Special Secret Song Inside by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (Jake)

51 @sylviebell Thriller by Michael Jackson (Natasha and Javy)

52 @xoxabs88xox Why’d You Come in Here Lookin' Like That by Dolly Parton (Jake)

53 @paigewinchester67 I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen (Bradley and Jake)

54 @sarahsmi13s Fishin' In the Dark by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (Bob)

55 @callsign-joyride Need You Tonight by INXS (Bradley)

56 @foreverrandomwritings Paradise City by Guns N' Roses (Beau)

57 @cherrycola27 Whoever's In New England by Reba McEntire (Bob)

58 @1234-angelika The Bluest Eyes in Texas by Restless Heart (Jake)

59 @decantedenchanted Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx (Mav)

60 @the-authoress-writes Black Velvet by Alannah Myles (Jake)

61 @withahappyrefrain Somebody to Love by Queen (Bradley)

62 @valhallaas Hold on Loosely by 38 Special (Javy)

63 @talktomegooseman The Chair by George Strait (Jake)

64 @foreverrandomwritings Master of Puppets by Metallica (Mickey and Bob)

65 @poetrieshouse Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran (Mav)

66 @tongue-like-a-razor Poison by Alice Cooper (Jake)

67 @1234-angelika Real Love by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers (Bradley)

68 @the-authoress-writes The Flame by Cheap Trick (Ice)

69 @hangmanstigerlily Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon (Jake)

70 @samsgoddess Hysteria by Def Leppard (Bradley)

71 @eternalsams Cherry Pie by Warrant (Jake)

72 @love-in-light Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi (Bradley)

73 @thatdammchickennugget Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams (Bradley)

74 @whatislovevavy Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears (Jake)

Totally rad cover art:

@ryebecca She Drives Me Crazy by Fine Young Cannibals

@bettycooper Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) by Kate Bush (Bradley)

@ryebecca The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News (Bob)

@mak-32 Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car by Billy Ocean (Bradley)

@laracrofted I Love Rock 'n' Roll by Joan Jett (Bob)

@sebsxphia Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners (Bob)

Need some song inspiration? Check out these bangers:

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

Start Me Up - The Rolling Stones 

Livin’ On A Prayer - Bon Jovi 

Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

Shout - Tears for Fears

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi 

Every Breath You Take - The Police 

The Final Countdown - Europe

Angel - Aerosmith

Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Call Me - Blondie

Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money 

Free Fallin’ - Tom Petty 

Hysteria - Def Leppard 

I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts 

Just like Heaven - The Cure 

I Won’t Back Down - Tom Petty 

Magic - The Cars

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar 

Addicted To Love - Robert Palmer

Love Shack - The B-52’s 

Without You - Motley Crue 

Material Girl - Madonna

Legs - ZZ Top

Paradise City - Guns N’ Roses 

Can’t Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon 

Cum on Feel the Noize - Quiet Riot 

[stobinesque]

talking could, if we'd just dare (you know that i'll forgive you), pt. 2

@steddie-week day 7: Free Space / "Freedom" by Wham! title from both "You Lookin' At Me, Lookin' at You" by Ozzy Osbourne and "Freedom" by Wham! part 1 (this is a follow up to day 6's "misunderstandings" prompt!)

There was a pressure behind Steve’s eyes that hadn’t been there since Halloween of 1984 and Nancy Wheeler drunkenly calling him and their love bullshit. What was it about him that meant he kept falling for people that thought his love affection and care were meaningless? He’d really thought that Eddie was different—that he could see the bones and marrow of him, and not the cardboard cutout he’d spent the first seventeen years of his life playing. Maybe Robin was the only person who would ever know him that well. (And that could be enough, couldn’t it? To be known so completely, even if only by one person.)

Steve rubbed at his eyes, trying to push away the tears that were threatening to start back up. He didn’t know who he was hiding from, but if he started crying again he thought he may never stop.

His “I’m heartbroken but pretending it’s okay—listen to how upbeat this song is!” mixtape that Dustin had made for him a couple years ago was playing on a loop in the background—he was taking advantage of the empty house to blare it across the stereo system. 

Listening to George Michael sing I can't escape until you love me wasn’t doing anything to improve his mood, but that wasn’t really the point. It was nice to lie there and feel sorry for himself, just for a bit. He’d have to pick himself up and patch up the scrapes and bruises tomorrow. He’d have to paint on a smile for the customers at Family Video (the fact that he and Robin had managed to keep their jobs was already enough of a miracle without scaring people away with his bloodshot eyes), and put on an act of detached nonchalance for kids. If they got wind that anything was amiss, they’d all go digging, and as angry as he was with Eddie right now (and underneath all the self-loathing and heartbreak, he was pissed), he didn’t deserve to be outed like that—or at all. 

The ring of the doorbell pierced through You take my hand and tell me I'm a fool, and Steve contemplated just lying there and letting whoever it was stand there awkwardly, knowing they were being deliberately ignored. 

It’s not like it was anyone important—it couldn’t be one of the kids, because any of them would have opened with a flurry of repeated bell-ringings. It couldn’t be Robin, both because she had a key, and because she wouldn’t make him have to stand up and greet her at the door right now. He supposed it could be Nancy, or Jonathan, for some reason—except if there was an emergency they would at least try to call first, and Steve couldn’t think of any good reason that they’d show up on his doorstep unannounced that he was inclined to deal with right now. The only people he thought it could possibly be who he wasn’t better off leaving high and dry were Joyce or Mrs. Henderson—and that was actually enough to get Steve standing, because if Claudia was standing on his doorstep with food and an open smile and he ignored her when he was obviously home, it’d break her heart. 

There was already enough of that going around. 

Still, he made a detour to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face, and at least attempt to mitigate some of the “I’ve been mired in self-pity for the past 48 hours” that was clearly visible in his face, his hair, and his clothes. 

The doorbell rang for a second time, punctuating the lilt of Part time love just brings me down, and Steve huffed a frustrated sigh. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” He was going to the door just in case it was Claudia, not because he really thought it was her, and he was predisposed to being annoyed at every possible alternative to Claudia Henderson (or Joyce Byers) who could possibly be on the other side of the door. 

None more so than the person it actually ended up being when he dragged open the double doors devoid of any of his typical flair. “What are you doing here, Munson?” he asked flatly.

Eddie stood framed in the entryway, curls pulled back into a neat bun, earnest expression on his face, and wearing what looked to be a threadbare black button-down under his usual leather jacket. He had one arm folded behind his back, the other half extended toward the doorbell—which he promptly dropped down to his side when he registered Steve standing before him. He looked unfairly good, and Steve wanted to die about it. (Or commit a murder—he wasn’t feeling overly picky right at that moment.)

“Did you not hear me?” Steve bit out. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie’s face fell, and his cheeks flushed a bright red. “I—”

Steve cut him off with a twisted sneer. “Did you come to really rub it in? It wasn’t enough to shoot me down the first time, you wanted to come and twist the knife again—just real up close and personal this time? Did you wanna revel in how far the 'king' has fallen?” In the background, you’re hurting me baby, hurting me baby ricocheted down the halls and rang in Steve’s ears.

“No, I came here to apologize, Steve, I—” Eddie cut himself off with a tilt of his head, and wrinkled his nose as the next line rang out clear, But you know that I’ll forgive you! “—are you listening to Wham!?”

Steve stared at him, incredulous. “Are you making fun of my music taste right now? Is that really what’s happening?”

Eddie shook his head frantically. “No, that’s not what I—! Fuck, I’m doing this all wrong.”

Steve scoffed. “What else is new?” he asked, the bitchy curl to his lip forming unbidden.

Eddie flinched, and Steve almost felt bad about it, but it was buried too deep under layers of hurt and bitterness. “I’m sorry,” Eddie said, looking contrite. “That was…a dumb thing to say. Which I am apparently full of this week.”

“‘Apparently’?”

Eddie swallowed. “I am completely, one hundred percent, full of bullshit.” Steve couldn't quite hold back a flinch at the word choice, but he didn't think Eddie caught it. “And—” Eddie unfolded the arm he’d been holding behind his back to produce a bouquet of flowers with a small flourish. “—I’m really sorry.”

Steve stared down at the flowers for several long moments, blinking slowly as he tried to parse out what he was seeing in front of him. Because it clearly wasn’t some premade drug store arrangement. The arrangement was a bright mix of purple, green, and white—a few large hyacinths dominated the bundle, mixed together with green carnations; sprigs of ragweed and fairy lilies filled in the empty spaces. A lot more thought and effort had gone into this than Steve’s own hasty purchase of a dozen red roses for Nancy two years ago. And while there was a florist in Hawkins, the chances that Eddie could walk in there without immediately causing a scene were pretty slim—especially if he’d been even a little too honest about the reason for the arrangement. Steve’s eyes drifted back up to meet Eddie’s. “Where did you get those?”

“There’s a, uh…there’s a gay florist? Up in Indy. That's how I was able to get a bouquet with green carnations so last minute.”

Steve nodded along as though that made perfect sense, even though he had no idea why green carnations would be of any particular significance to gay people. His gaze dropped back down to the bouquet, and he plucked it from Eddie’s hands, turning on his heel to make for the kitchen without saying a word. If Eddie was really so eager to apologize, Steve figured he could keep him on his toes. A moment later, Steve could just make out the sound of Eddie’s tentative footfalls, followed by the sound of the front door snicking shut. 

Steve bent down to open one of the cupboards next to the underside of the sink, digging around until he found an old glass vase his mom never used anymore. He deposited it on the counter, before turning to pull open the miscellaneous tools drawer (his mom always hated it when someone tried to call it the ‘junk drawer’) to grab a pair of scissors. 

“So. You’re sorry.” Steve kept himself faced away from Eddie as he filled the vase with water, unwrapped the bouquet, and trimmed the stems. There was a hurricane brewing in him, and having something to do with his hands kept him still at the center of it. If he had to look at Eddie’s face right now it’d all come flying apart. “What are you sorry for, exactly.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Steve carefully set down the scissors, and pressed his hands flat to the countertop. He didn’t let his head fall. He didn’t let the small, sad gasp that was stuck in his throat escape. He could keep the mask on. He could keep all of his insides from spilling out around him. “What do you mean?” Apparently he couldn’t keep the rasp out of his voice.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Eddie repeated. His voice was closer now.

“What are you talking about?”

“When I said I wasn’t interested in you. That was a lie, and I shouldn’t have said it.”

“And–and the other part?” Because what did it matter if he had some hollow, surface-level interest in him if it meant—

“What other part?”

“Munson—” Steve was gritting his teeth. This was a mistake. He shouldn’t have let him in, he shouldn’t have—

“Oh, I—the ‘it didn’t mean anything’ part?” Eddie let out a blustery sigh, and Steve fought against the impulse to spin around and see what kind of gesture or expression might have accompanied that. “That’s…complicated. I–I think it did always mean something, but I wasn’t exactly lying when I said it was it was all ‘in good fun.’ That’s what it was supposed to be, at first, but then…I didn’t expect to like you.”

Steve laughed. “Thanks, Munson.”

“Please, Stevie—” 

“Don’t call me that!” He snapped. And that was too much, he was giving to much away—

“Okay, I won’t.” Steve could almost hear the way he raised his hands and backed away. “But…please. Stop calling me that, too, okay? I thought we’d moved past that.”

“Yeah, well, I thought we had too,” Steve spit back through gritted teeth. 

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. He wanted to say it. But if he did, he’d melt away. He’d succumb to the hook and line tugging at his gut that told him to try, to trust, to open up. But there was only one person who was allowed the keys to the castle anymore. He should have learned long ago to stop making copies.

“I know, Steve, and…I really am sorry. I–I didn’t mean to—”

“Then why did you?” His patience—such that it was—was rapidly dwindling.

“I— What?”

“If you didn’t mean what you said, if you didn’t mean to hurt me, if you didn’t mean to like me—then why? Why did you flirt with me? Why did you try to get to know me? Why did you bother?” Steve wanted to throw something. He didn't want to break something, exactly, but he also didn't want th echoing chasm of silence opening up between them.

Steve’s shoulders were shaking with the effort of holding himself upright, and Eddie still wasn't saying anything.

“Would you look at me?”

“I don’t know if I can, Eddie.” He coughed up the name like he was choking on it.

“I don’t think I can keep having this conversation to the back of your head.”

Steve closed his eyes; pinched the bridge of his nose to help fight back a fresh wave of tears. “Fine,” he bit out. “Have a seat.” He gestured loosely behind him before heading to the fridge, still keeping his back to Eddie as the sound of a stool scraping across tile echoed in the space. “Want a beer?” he asked. He could have this conversation sober, or with eye contact—but it could only be one or the other.

“Sure,” Eddie whispered back.

Steve nodded into the cold air of the fridge, and came back up with two bottles, which he promptly uncapped against the bottle opener affixed to the wall. He sat one down in front of Eddie, before seating himself in a stool on the opposite side of the island. It was all about keeping distance. If Eddie was going to come picking at his walls, he would just have to keep throwing up physical barriers to slow him down. 

Steve took a pull from his beer. “So?”

Eddie took a breath, like he was steeling himself for battle. “I thought I was going to die.” Eddie laughed, and while it certainly wasn't hollow, it was entirely empty of humor. There was irony, maybe. Or hysteria. “At best I thought I'd end up in prison for the rest of my life.”

Steve frowned. “What does that have to do with—?”

“It has to do with everything, Steve!” It burst out of him like a dam cracking—and after the first crack, so came the flood. “No matter what was gonna happen on the other side of all that shit, I thought—one way or another—that my life was already over, man! 

“So, yeah, I flirted with the pretty jock who made my heart beat a little too fast and my pants a little too tight—who looked fucking divine with blood dripping out of his mouth—and I didn’t think too much beyond the cute little smiles and flustered looks you sent back, because it wasn’t going to go anywhere. Because it didn’t mean anything. 

“Not because you don’t mean anything—not because you’re worthless or unlovable or whatever other crap is circling the drain in your head—but because I thought you were straight! I thought I’d have a harmless bit of fun in the dying light of the end of the world. I thought I’d get a laugh and a smile out of it—I thought I could carry that sweetness with me into the afterlife, or–or have a warm memory to hang onto after I got locked away. Because there was only ever one of two ways that was gonna end, right?” 

There were tears tracking down Eddie’s face, but he wasn’t sobbing—there was only a slight hitch in his breath to give him away—and he barely seemed to notice them; he just kept going. “And then we made it. We made it out, and then I had to figure out how to fucking live—how to piece back together all the shattered remains of what Vecna took from me. And you were in the hospital, and you were barely conscious most of the time, and when you were you could barely even look at me. And I thought…”

“You thought I’d figured you out,” Steve whispered, clarity taking shape.

“Yeah, man. I thought you’d figured me out.” Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face. “Not right away, though. At first I thought…I don’t know what I thought. Maybe that you’d realized you’d been flirting back, and that’s what made you uncomfortable?” Eddie reached as though to grab at a strand of his hair, only for his hand to drop back to the countertop when he remembered it was pulled into a bun. He took a swig of his beer, instead. “But you just kept getting weirder and weirder, and then it just…it hit me. That maybe you’d realized that I was gay, and hitting on you, and that maybe you thought that…I don’t know. I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t a threat. And—at that point, I don’t think I’d even fully realized that I do like you like that—I just knew that we were starting to become friends, and whatever else was true I didn’t want to lose that. And if keeping your friendship meant denying whatever else I was feeling, that’s what I was going to do.”

Steve blinked at him slowly. “You’re an idiot.”

Eddie laughed, eyes crinkling up in the corners to indicate there was some actual humor behind it this time. “So I’ve been very reliably informed. You know that every single woman in your life is fucking terrifying, Harrington?”

Steve shook his head and couldn’t help the wry smile that broke across his face. “Believe me, I do.” Steve smirked at Eddie, allowing himself the flirtatious edge of glancing up at him from beneath his eyelashes. “So, what, Robin read you the riot act? Did she actually bring the nail bat?”

Eddie sputtered, and a spray of beer landed on Steve’s face. “I’m sorry, the nail what? And you knew she was gonna come after?”

Steve laughed, open and loud, as he wiped the spittle from his face. “Oh, yeah, I guess you’ve never seen it before.”

“Seen what, Harrington!” Eddie shrieked. “Why in the world do you have something that can be called a ‘nail bat’?”

“There are monsters in Hawkins, dude,” Steve said simply. “Were,” he corrected with a shake of his head. “There were monsters in Hawkins.”

“Yeah. I’ve only seen them once and I still don’t believe they’re really gone.”

Steve nodded. 

Eddie exhaled, and then steepled his hands under his chin like he was considering evidence. “Okay, so: you have a freaky bat filled with nails, and your freaky life partner stormed into my trailer so that she could threaten my freaky ass with it. Great, awesome. What the fuck is my life?” Eddie dug his fingers into his hair, heedless of the way it yanked some strands out of the bun entirely, and left others in disarray.

Steve shook his head. “I’ve been asking myself that for the past four years, man. If you come up with an answer, let me know.” 

“And—And!” Eddie jumped up onto the stool so that he was perched atop it, balancing on the balls of his feet. He started gesticulating wildly into Steve’s face. “On top of all of that I’m supposed to believe that strait-laced Steve Harrington was acting all weird and evasive because he was working up the courage to ask me out?”

“You know, for someone who talks a good game about nonconformity, you’ve sure got a lot of preconceived notions about what other people are supposed to be like.”

Eddie dropped back down onto the stool like the wind had been taken out of his sails. “I know,” he said, expression serious. “I just…sometimes you’ve gotta jump to quick conclusions to keep yourself safe.”

Steve nodded, staring down at his hands as he picked at the label of the sweating beer bottle. “Yeah…that makes sense. And it’s not like I always would have been a safe guy to flirt with—jokingly or not.”

Eddie shrugged. “Maybe not. But that was a while ago. I think this version of you deserved for me to give you the benefit of the doubt. I could have at least fucking asked why you were being so cagey around me, instead of jumping to conclusions.”

“You can now,” Steve offered.

Eddie smiled. “Okay…I’ll bite: Steve, why’d you keep acting like a skittish little rabbit around me?”

“I did not—”

“You totally did! Always vibrating, looking like you were seconds from hopping off.” Eddie bit his lip, glancing down with a shy smile—and then Eddie got to pull off the flirtatious glancing-through-the-eyelashes thing. God, what a classic. Steve felt himself flush in response. “It was kind of cute, honestly.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if you must know…” Steve trailed off, the light tone slipping away. “You’re the first guy I’ve ever wanted to ask out.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, staring off to the side. “I was scared too, you know? I was pretty sure you liked me—I mean, at least I didn’t think you disliked me—but even with all the flirting, I couldn’t be sure, you know? It’s all so…different. From what I’m used to. Even beyond that, I haven’t—” Steve cut himself off, not sure he could give away this last piece of the puzzle.

“You haven’t…?”

“I haven’t felt this strongly about someone since Nancy. And I can’t—I don’t think I could stand something else blowing up in my face the same way that did.”

Eddie was quiet for several beats. “How’d things with Wheeler blow up?”

Steve turned back to meet Eddie’s gaze. “I think that’s a conversation for another day. This one’s already got me beat.”

Eddie nodded, and let silence fall between them for a bit. For the first time since Eddie’d come in, he didn’t feel like he could taste ash on the air. “Hey Steve?”

“Yeah, Eddie?”

“You wanna try now?”

“Try what?”

“Asking out a guy for the first time.”

“Oh…” Steve studied Eddie’s face carefully for a few long, silent moments, before determining there was nothing to find there beyond a simple and honest certainty. “I think I’m still a little mad at you.”

“Do you think you’ll forgive me?”

Steve smiled sadly with a tilt of his head. “You know I will.”

“Man, I’m not holding you to the contents of fucking Wham! lyrics just because they were the soundtrack for your gay wallowing.”

“Oh, but if it was a different song playing in the background you would?” Steve asked.

Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, ‘course I would.”

“I thought we’d established that now was a bad time to be critiquing my music taste.”

“I don’t fucking care if you listen to, Wham!, Steve—I just don’t wanna listen to them.”

Steve smiled and leaned forward. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m kinda ambivalent about them, but Dustin made that mixtape for me when I was getting over Nancy.”

“Huh. There’s…a lot going on there. And I think I’ve probably stuck my foot in it enough times today to avoid trying to wade in.”

“You’re a smart man, Eddie Munson.”

“Tell that to Ms. O’Donnell.” Eddie grabbed one of the strands he’d pulled out from his bun earlier and pulled it in front of his face. “So, are ya gonna do it?”

Steve smirked, leaning further into Eddie’s space. “Am I gonna do what, Eddie?”

“You know what, Harrington.”

“I thought I told you to call me Steve.” 

As Eddie opened his mouth to reply, Steve closed the space between them and drew him into a kiss. 

When Steve pulled back a moment later, he was rewarded with the sight of Eddie’s eyes fluttering back open as he breathed out Steve’s name on a sigh.

He reached up to tuck the strand of hair that had fallen from Eddie’s slackened grip behind his ear. “So, Eddie Munson—would you like to go out with me?”

“I’d love nothing more.”

Eddie’s apology bouquet:

Hyacinth (purple): “please forgive me”

Green Carnations: symbol of love between two men, popularized by Oscar Wilde wearing a green carnation as an accessory

Fairy lilies (Rainflower): “I love you back” / “I must atone for my sins”

Ragweed (Ambrosia): love is reciprocated

Meanings pulled from Wikipedia’s “List of plants with symbolism” (although I did already know the green carnations one before writing this). I did not do a whole lot of research into properly constructing bouquets so as to convey messages/meaning, so if you’re an expert floriographist, please don’t look at me (or: feel free to point out everything I got wrong, because I do actually find the language of flowers really interesting). 

Also, we are hand-waving away the fact that it probably would have taken Eddie more than a day to get a custom bouquet, okay? We are also ignoring the fact that most people are allergic to ragweed—if it tickles you I'm declaring that Steve is not but Eddie is and made himself sneeze the whole way over to Steve's house.

Why did Steve know the names of all of the flowers? Because I said so, that’s why. (That, or, if you please: in the world of this fic Steve’s mom is a hobbyist gardener and he used to help her out in the yard during the summer.)

[yarrowleef]

I’m trying to start a collection of every xenofiction book from a cats POV that I can find!! this is my criteria list:

older middle-grade and up fiction stories (maybe some exceptions for children's books if I really like them)

Mostly or only cat POV, not stories about people with cat sidekicks

about actual cats, not a human that shapeshifts into a cat, nor cat-like two-legged humanoids

Focusing on domestic cats and maybe small wild cats, not big cats 

It doesn’t have to be a traditionally published book, but it does have to be something completed that I can buy a copy of

Graphic novels count!

These are the ones I know so far, please let me know if you have any more that I can add! (not listing every book’s sequels, series are presumed to be lumped together)

(also note: I have not read most of these books yet, so I can’t say what kind of graphic/sensitive content they may or may not have. I'm just trying to make as complete a list as I can for personal reference)

Warrior Cats (obviously, this one is a free space)

Varjak Paw -- S.F Said

Tailchaser’s Song -- Tad Williams

The Wild Road -- Gabriel King

Catwings -- Ursula K. Le Guin

Stray -- A.N Wilson

The Book of Night with Moon -- Diane Duane

The Wildings -- Nilanjana Roy

The Tygrine Cat -- Inbali Iserles

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents -- Terry Pratchett

 The Familiars -- Adam Jay Epstein

In the Long Dark -- Brian Carter

Felidae -- Akif Pirinçci. Unfortunately! but I don’t want to talk about him and no one should buy his work. just adding so people know i’m aware of this book already

The Cats of Roxville Station -- Jean Craighead George

The Traveling Cat Chronicles -- Hiro Arikawa

Blitzcat -- Robert Westall

Cat House -- Michael Peak

Cats in the City of Plague -- A.L Marlow

Guardian Cats and the Lost Books of Alexandria -- Rahma Krambo

Cat on the Edge -- Shirley Rousseau Murphy

I Am a Cat -- Natsume Sōseki

The Alchemist’s Cat -- Robin Jarvis

The Stink Files -- Jennifer L. Holm & Jonathan Hamel

I, Scheherazade: Memoirs of a Siamese Cat -- Douglass Parkhirst

The Mouse Butcher -- Dick King-Smith

Heroes Rising: Book One of Catmage: Genesis -- Meryl Yourish

[the-boney-rolls]

The Great Covid Beatles Binge, Day 2: Give My Regards to Broad Street

Hoo boy, here we go!

OK so we open with a stern/bored looking Paul stuck in traffic in the rain and it looks like he's spacing out... hey, Paul, are you starting to daydream? Paul? Is this whole movie about to be a dream, Paul? Oh god

This silly little car! The computer, the carpet, the pool ball gear shift. It's giving the 80's car version of the Beatles house in Help! It's also giving hyper-masculine in a way that is, I'm sorry, not convincing.

This plot is already deeply inscrutable. Something about some missing tapes, a reformed criminal that Paul knows somehow and trusts for some reason, and some ominous business men. Something bad will happen at midnight if the tapes aren't found. OK!

Ringo looks so cool and hot! That vest over that sick as hell dragon shirt. Yes. This scene is genuinely funny, too -- Ringo spends the entirety of "Here, There and Everywhere" and "Yesterday" searching through his mountains of drum equipment looking for brushes, only to find them too late. Apparently, the reason for this scene is that Ringo just didn't want to re-record old Beatles songs!

And now we have Paul, Ringo, George Martin and Geoff Emerick all together in a scene! Makes me think about how George Harrison apparently was a little miffed Paul didn't just call him to ask for filmmaking advice since it was something he had experience with. What could have been!

“Wanderlust” is such a great song, actually, damn.

“I’m not a bad boy, really. I’m just — er, manipulated” John??

Now this is more like it! Surprise Linda in drag, hell yes!

I don't know why this scene is happening? It's a rehearsal for... something? But I'll take it. I love "Ballroom Dancing" and I love vaudeville Paul.

I'm starting to feel like Paul's grandpa in AHDN, "so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room." Did Paul's experience on that set define what a movie is to him? "Ah yes, a movie must include lots of transportation from one location to another and then some musical scenes." But dear, it worked because there were jokes! And all four of you to play off each other.

I.......... what

This is Silly Love Songs, of all things!

Again, I don't know why this scene is happening in the context of the movie. Is it another rehearsal for something? A music video? Television special? Who knows, Yoko! But OK here we go, I sure am having fun! Linda is extremely into it. That slap bass kills. There's a Michael Jackson impersonator for some reason? Sure! It makes no sense but I love this man and his bizarre beautiful mind.

So now we're doing band rehearsal in some kind of barn? Or abandoned warehouse? Or something? All of the plot of this movie seems to happen in dialog in cars en route to some ambiguous musical engagement.

“Do you think we can get some heat in here or are we practicing to be Canadians?” God bless you, Ringo.

“Should we try Not Such a Bad Boy” “Do we have to?” “Yeah” Bossy Paul bosses around a Beatle, we love to see it.

Is this song about him or John? 

The French horn player coming in late to record "For No One," inexplicably in a bright red motorcycle helmet, so late that he’s preparing up until right before the solo starts. Reminds me of that story of Ringo recording Hey Jude. But it also feels very symbolic of something. There are so many odd inscrutable details in this movie, it could almost be Lynchian in someone else's hands.

“We’re running, and running out of time too” It feels meaningful but I don't know how.

Hello Mr. Darcy! Wow, can I have an entire movie that’s just this Victorian dream sequence? Can we go back in time and do a Beatles movie period piece, please??

The strings in this which are inspired by but are not quite "Eleanor Rigby" are lovely. Apparently this whole sequence is called "Eleanor's Dream," which implies that Paul is Eleanor. Make of that what you will, I suppose.

I like that Linda is a pants-wearing photographer in this period scene. Linda's gotta Linda.

This strikes me as very Evil Beatles. Again, make of that what you will.

Barbara and Linda are acting the HELL out of this going over the waterfall scene damn.

I don't know, I could screen grab this entire segment, it's amazing, it's insane.

But I can't gloss over Paul being horny for Ghost Horse Girl Linda. Incredible.

"That’s it you’re finished. What are you gonna do now?" Well ok at least this one is pretty obviously a reference to the critical reception of his career after the Beatles and again after John.

"Uncle Jim" Ok so I guess this is supposed to be his dad, but what is the point of this scene? And why the monkey? The further I get into this film the more I feel like I am looking deep into this man's psyche but through the murkiest of windows. I'm here for the weird dream symbolism, Paul, but if you're gonna go that route, again go full Lynch and get even weirder.

Just the straight up original recording of "Band on the Run" feels out of place with all these re-records. I wonder why that choice.

His car license plate is "PM 1" That's right, baby, you're number 1.

Another little cute but inconsequential day dream (presumably within the dream that is this entire movie). He looks like Roy Orbison here.

Oh ok Harry was just locked in a cupboard this whole time. So the whole "plot" was pointless. Cool cool cool.

Paul and Harry being giddy and laughing together is cute though, and it makes me wish that that relationship was fleshed out more. Who are they to each other, exactly??

Yup it was all a dream. Love it, love that for us. Thanks, Paul.

OK so this was definitely barely a movie. There could have been something here, but I'll go back to what I said above -- I wish he'd gone weirder with the whole thing! And I wish Paul himself had been weirder. The character Paul is kind of a dud, just plodding along from place to place and only coming alive when he performs. It's like that Hawaiian shirt is supposed to be a stand in for characterization. But worth it for the music video scenes and for getting a tiny glimpse into Paul's psyche.

[vampirebloodie]

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x reader. How would Adam propose to the reader? Or how would the reader propose to Adam?

Hope you like it, anon! <3

Careless Whisper | Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x Reader

Summary: Adam tries to make a romantic marriage proposal but things don't go as expected

Warning: Fluff content, funny (?)

Adam was weirder than usual lately, not that he was the most normal person in the world, but he was really weird these days, you even thought that he might have cheated on you or something, but he was too dumb to let that happen slip by without you noticing.

You were at work when a notification arrived on your cell phone, it was the bank app informing you that more than three thousand dollars had been withdrawn from your account that you shared with Adam, your eyes widened seeing that and you immediately dialed his number, trying some communication, after the third attempt you heard his voice on the other side.

“Adam Faulkner-Stanheight!!! How did more than three thousand dollars disappear from our account?”

You asked irritably. There were several possibilities running through his head, the biggest one being that he had probably clicked on a link with a virus trying to download games illegally on the internet.

“Oh, hi honey, the connection here is really bad, wow, xiiiiii, xiiiiii, xiiiiii”

He responded and started imitating squeaking noises that you could clearly tell was him, you rolled your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Look, Adam... Adam? Adam! ADAM!!!!”

You screamed into the phone when you realized he had hung up on you, putting your phone back in your bag you ran your hands over your face, extremely irritated and upset.

“U ok?”

Your boss asked passing by you, you looked around seeing the coffee shop customers staring at you, your cheeks heated up immediately.

“I need to solve a problem at home.”

You looked at her, who just adjusted her glasses on her face and sighed.

“Well, if it will stop you from scaring customers, go.”

You thanked her, ignoring her rudeness, picked up your bag and left the store, walking quickly to the building where you and he lived together, the loud noise of your deep steps hitting the floor attracted everyone's attention, you entered the building and entered the elevator by clicking the button for the fifth floor. As soon as the doors opened you took your key and went towards the door, opening it with all your strength, making a huge bang. If you were a dragon you would definitely be breathing fire right now.

“Adam Faulkner-Stanheight show up immediately before i found you!”

You said, starting to look for him around the property, not finding him anywhere, suddenly you heard the song "careless whisper" starting to play around the house and you made a confused expression following the sound, which led to the room.

You started knocking on the door several times, until Adam only opened it halfway, putting his face out, scaring you. The music had stopped.

"Jesus christ! Adam, what are you doing in there?”

You asked, looking at him who was extremely sweaty and looked at you with a look of despair. The sweat was self-explanatory, he was wearing a black suit that was bigger than him.

“Y/N!!! What are you doing here at this time???”

He asked confused and you raised your eyebrow.

“3 thousand dollars just disappeared from our account, Adam.”

You crossed your arms.

“Aahh! I can explain this to you later, come back in 15 minutes, bye bye.”

He spoke and tried to close the door, but you put your hand in first, unfortunately his strength was greater than yours and the door slammed into your hand. You screamed in pain, feeling your fingers being crushed by the door, Adam screamed along and opened the door again, you pulled your hand away, feeling it throb and your fingers turn red.

"Honey!! I’m sorry, im sorry!!”

He grabbed your hand, starting to kiss it in an attempt to stop the pain, you pulled your hand away, making him kiss the air.

“Damn Adam! What are you hiding so much?”

You gave him a light push, so you could see what was in the room, there were several red rose petals on the floor, heart-shaped balloons hanging from the wall and ceiling, and a huge photo of you and him on the wall with letters pasted on it. You tried to understand what it was.

“D OR WNT T MRRY E? Adam, did you really finish high school?”

You made a confused face looking at him and he put his hand on his chest, offended.

"Of course. It’s your fault it arrived early, i was still cutting out the rest of the letters, okay?”

He defended himself.

“God give me patience please… Okay, five more minutes.”

You left the room and he closed the door. The five minutes passed quickly and the lights in the house went out, that music played again, Adam opened the door and you came in again, this time the room was tidier with some candles, he had his suit more tidy and with a rose in his mouth, staring at you with a sensual face that you thought was the funniest thing in the world.

“Dear Y/n, we've been together for a long time and i think we should make it official for something bigger, ok i need to be quick before i pass out from the heat in this outfit, so, do you want to marry me? ”

He knelt down in front of you and took a golden ring out of his pocket, your face had just dropped and, your money and plans to buy a new house also dropped after that.

“Adam...You didn't need to do all that, you know i would have accepted it anyway!”

You smiled, taking the ring and he stood up with the biggest smile in the world, placing the ring on your finger.

“You were going to accept it anyway, right? Aha! I knew! You are obsessed and in love with me, i understand i understand, i would be too. Im so handsome and sexy”

He closed his eyes, starting to boast and walk around the room while doing some poses and messing with his hair, until he tripped over the piece of furniture in front of him and ended up knocking the candle onto the sheet, which soon started to catch fire.

Adam screamed and hid behind you, you ran and grabbed the sheet, slamming it against the floor before the fire spread any further, staring at Adam with a deadly look, that was your favorite sheet.

“Dear, i promise i ll pay for another one!”

He spoke before you could say anything, you walked slowly towards him, seeing him shrink a little, you placed a kiss on his lips, making him make a confused face.

“Aren’t you going to fight me?”

“Fighting with you won’t bring my sheet back. I love you even though you are extremely clumsy.”

You spoke and he smiled, pulling you into a kiss.

“I love you too, more than you know.”

The air started to run out and you separated.

“Adam, did you know this song is about betrayal?”

“What?”

Final note: please reblog if you liked!

[kanmom51]

Getting bombed with y/ns on how dare we think something may be cooking between Jikook when Jungkook's recent MV has him being in a straight relationship and having references to sex. This apparently confirms Jungkooks het card and makes us delusional.

How do you suggest I respond?

Btw the video was funny af. The lyrics were R rated but the video was far from raunchy. Very cute and quirky.

I know Kook says he can't act for shit but he looked so cute as the placating boyfriend you know? He would do well in rom coms ngl.

Lol. If these y/ns see any kind of chemistry, sexual or romantic between JK and Sohee, then I guess good for them?

If they don't understand the concept of what a closeted gay/queer man means then I guess it will be like writing on ice.

Thing is that JK is such a smart young man. The song is about sex and needing to be with the person constantly, 7 days a week. He himself said that about the "love of my life" (we know exactly who that is). And yet he managed to give us a MV with a love interest but zero sexual or romantic tension.

I'd send them to watch this MV:

A song also released by a gay closeted man (at the time).

That is a romantic MV. A romantic storyline.

Including kisses. Several of them, no less...

Didn't make George Michael any less gay than he already was.

Look, it's kind of a waste of time with y/ns.

There is so much more to say, but they won't listen.

They won't even look.

They won't see JK's photo shoot (these are the same ones trying to ot7-fy his photoshoot, just as long as it has nothing to do with JM).

They won't see Jikook wearing same necklace in the clips.

They won't see JM going to NY to support JK.

They won't see Jikook going out together in NY.

They won't see JK wearing the muddy jeans in the dance challenge or the necklace or the choreo similarities.

All they see is "there's a woman in the clip, and they hold hands at the end so he has to be straight".

There really is no fighting this kind of logic.

[thatdesklamp]

'Intrinsic Warmth': Collector's Edition

Here is a masterpost of all 'Intrinsic Warmth'-related content: a small portion is stuff that I've written, probably in response to a question/ask, but the majority is content that I... haven't actually produced! This is so so self-indulgent because I love everything here like a firstborn son. Oh my goodness. I’ll put this on the ‘other’ section of my masterlist for reference, too.

me prattling on

The Influence of 'One Day' on 'Intrinsic Warmth', an essay-that-I-didn't-mean-to-be-an-essay about how 'One Day' by David Nicholls impacted IW (in more ways than just the shamelessly-stolen concept, lol)

music

'Intrinsic Warmth': The Musical, a compilation of all the songs people have related to 'Intrinsic Warmth' in my comments (I've added the full list below with extra comments + context for each song)

'intrinsic': The Fic Playlist, an actual IW playlist (!!!) made by ao3 user redromeow

writing

'Sunday September 7th, 2014', a true gem of a fanfiction of my own fanfiction (ohmygod); Satoru's perspective of the beginning of IW's Chapter 19, written by ao3 user late_night_secrets

'Intrinsic Warmth': The Musical: The Context and Comments = Comments you guys made when you recommended the songs :DD

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want / The Smiths

"So, for once in my life / Let me get what I want / Lord knows, it would be the first time" -- Hebi's yearning hours

Haunted / Taylor Swift

"Stood there and watched you walk away / From everything we had / But I still mean every word I said to you / He will try to take away my pain" -- just IW in its angst era

"Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted / Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Can't breathe whenever you're gone / Can't turn back now, I'm haunted" -- Chapter 15, 2010 (Gojo + Hebi on the roof)

Don't / eAeon ft. RM

Lyrics that are very Hebi and Gojo. I particularly like: "Please, don’t leave this place / There’s no place like this elsewhere in the world, after all / Please don’t break us / Then our one heart will be divided"

look at me / george

Lyrics that are Gojo being in his feels whenever he sees Hebi (in IW's angst era specifically)

You're on Your Own Kid / Taylor Swift

"I wait patiently, he’s gonna notice me / It’s okay, we’re the best of friends" -- Chapter 14, 2009 (the first year after they graduate) Hebi is yoyok coded. Lol.

Remember the time / Michael Jackson

It fits IW v v well (it does)

Something about us / daft punk

"I need you more than anything in my life / I want you more than anything in my life / I'll miss you more than anyone in my life / I love you more than anyone in my life" -- Chapter 12, 2007 (right after Geto left). It is them.

Good enough / xdinary heroes

A song that matches the tone of their relationship

La gent normal al Mercat de Sant Antoni / Manel

I couldn't find this on Spotify! I've put it the original 'Common People' on IW:TM, but here's a link to the actual song that I got recommended; it's Hebi and Gojo.

Last Kiss / Taylor Swift

Specifically in Chapter 16, 2011 (the one with the Kiss and Breakup). Yikes.

IF I HAVE MISSED ANY SONGS Y’ALL HAVE SENT PLS TELL ME, I TRIED TO BE THOROUGH BUT I MAY HAVE MISSED SOME

[yzeltia]

FFXIVwrite2024 8. Wedding Vows

Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, Postmoogle Expansion: Endwalker(Timeline Wise, Otherwise Irrelvant) Rating: G Summary: U'rahn practices for his big day with his biggest antagonist. Notes: Freeday prompt given to me by @beyond-mortal-limits *Based on Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 **Based on George Michael's Father Figure

“Alright! Have we started? Now remember, only write the stuff down that I’m saying for the vows. You don’t have to write it all down…you better not be writing this down…Augh. Anyway. My Vows….My vows….Let’s try:

“Nyx, I’ve loved you since you first took your hand and led you to go do all the stuff Zoissette didn’t want me to do with me…-

“Yes it was a date for someone else? Why? What do you mean that’s lame. Don’t you kupo at me! I’m paying you to write stuff not give me dating advice! Let’s try again. …Maybe traditional?”

“I, U’rahn Nuhn, take you, Nyx Blackmoon, for my eternally bonded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do…well, until death do I part. I will love and enrich you all the days of my life.

“How’s that? What do you mean ‘lame, kupo?’!? It’s traditional! …Okay …Nyx is not a traditional bride but that doesn’t matter cause they’re going to be the most beautiful and special brrride there’s ever been. Don’t ‘Sure, kupo!’ at me! It’s trrrue! But you’re right…Nyx loves me for my orrriginality and that I enrrrich them…Maybe poetry? I can be poetic! Urianger taught me sonnets after Nyx taught me Haiku!!…Can too! Oh yeah!?

“Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s Night?

Thou art more um…lovely and temperature

Rough winds do shake my darling buddies in May

And Summer’s heat hath all too short a date,

Sometimes too hot the eye of Nidhogg shines

And often is gold and complex and I’m dimmed,

And every faerie from faerie sometimes decides

By chance of nature’s changing course to their whim…d

But thy eternal Summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of thou wanderer’s shade

When in eternal bonds to time thou grow’st

So long as Nuhn can breathe or eyes can see

So long lives this one, and he gives his life to thee-* Stop laughing!

“I swear, moogles are nothing but trouble. That was really good! Yes, I recited it perfectly from the book that Urianger gave me! No I didn’t guess! Just keep your comments to yourself and help write down my vows or I’ll feed you to a sandworm!

“Now…if poems won’t work. How about a song:

“That's all you wanted

Something special, someone enriching 

In your life-

Just for one moment

To be warm and naked

At my side-

Sometimes I think that you'll never

Understand me 

But something tells me together

We'd be happy, oh-oh, baby

I will be your Nuhn figure

Put your tiny hand in mine 

I will be your preacher teacher

Anything you have in mind-��**

“What? That off key? …Yeah, I’m not very good. Maybe if I asked Big Bro Erick or Big Bro Thancred to back me up in the vocals? No? Yeah…no. I can even admit I’m not the best singer. Alright. Fine…What do you think I should do? … … … Ah…I can try that…:

“Nyx…When I’m around you I feel invincible…Not like my normal invincibility, but like, y’know, that I could do anything and everything I put my mind to. Even the stuff that I’m super bad at. I know I’m not the smartest or wisest guy out there but you never hold that against me and when I meet something that I can’t overcome, you let me try until I ask for help. You never judge me or put me down. I feel so seen and loved around you. 

“And…well, it’s no secret my family is super important to me. You’ve fit right in with us in your own Nyx way. I know that if something ever happened to me, you’d be there to watch over them where I cannot. I named my first daughter after you ‘cause I don’t know anyone more strong and beautiful that I would want her to look up to. 

 “So uh, what I’m trying to say is that I’ll always love you…And I promise, as long as I draw breath, to keep enriching you and making every day be filled with new, fun experiences when we are together.

“Why are you crying? Me? I’m not crying? I just got stuff in my eye! It was good though wasn’t it? Let’s stick with that version….C’mon, I’ll get you a kuponut.”

[aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman]

Christmas songs I hate:

- all I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey like it’s violating my ears and patronizing me when I’m just living in poverty and trying to shop for groceries in Walmart..

- it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas by Michael buble… if I hear that corny ass voice in one more tiktok I s2g…

Christmas songs I love:

- last Christmas by wham. George Michael singing about getting cucked is always a vibe. The “Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on” lyric omg 😭

- anything by Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole or Bing Crosby bc their voices are like velvet.

- Santa baby by Eartha Kitt 🌹

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I love to see my biases get the BB 1s, but when one starts making that their goal, hmm that kind of disconnects me from them as an artist.

I won't say more. I just wish artists I stan placed more focus on the art. Let charts happen naturally.

You're blog isn't like the blind fandom, so I am saying this here.

It's not hard to see through things. Chapter 2 has been interesting so far. I am not making any opinions based of things that are happening, but if it becomes a pattern with the artist, well... that's a problem.

Anon, we both know who were're talking about, lol. I'm gonna use the names, for the sake of making it easier for me to write a response.

A few weeks ago, I was watching this documentary about Wham. Some light entertainment for me initially, but it did offer me the chance for a fresh perspective. I don't exactly remember the details, but they've reached a point in which George Michael wanted to have 4 songs to reach number 1 on some chart, the fourth being Last Christmas. He was a bit obsessed with this and he also wanted to be a bigger artist. In later archival interviews, Michael actually mentions it was his ego as an artist because he knew he could. And he did, he outgrew the boyish band and the situation was almost ideal because Andrew, his bandmate, also knew that. It also meant getting away from their carefully constructed image, the object of desire for teenagers and women everywhere. For George, it was also about stepping away from performing a specific type of heteronormativity that can be found in boy bands. It never crossed my mind while watching it that his ego is too big, or why is he so obsessed with the charts. Maybe because it was all in the past and I've seen what the future would hold for him. Or that when I heard him talk about what he wants to achieve and his inner struggle, there was sincerity there and also that drive that only someone really young can have when they believe they can do anything.

I've read Jungkook's Weverse interview and listened to what he had to say during the Seven promotions. And while there may be some comparisons to be made to how George Michael came across when talking about his musical career, there were also some differences.

I'm glad to see Jungkook being more confident. I remember some of the things he used to say in the past, about his self worth, a lack of confidence and meaning outside the group. That wasn't healthy. And to hear him now, especially on Suchwita, it's a 180° change. But in his case, there's a very fine line between being confident and becoming cocky. And that's not a good look. It's almost like he's trying to project an image of a new Jungkook but one that is still in the works and not all parts fit perfectly together. He's going through a transformation ever since the hiatus, which I expected. It was about having to adapt to a different pace, life after 10 years of being part of a group. Jungkook was always trying to find his identity and this single is only one step in that journey.

But that doesn't mean that I as a fan and as a person, have to like it. If it doesn't match with what I'm looking for in the artists that I'm interested in, then so be it. I will talk about it, but I'll also not follow that person's musical career anymore. If I don't like the artistic direction and I don't like this overconfident, slighly exaggerated bravado, then that's it.

It's also impossible to not make a comparison to Jimin. Not for some dick measuring contest (it's what pjms and jjks are doing), but because there is room and justification for it. Both are from the same kpop group, both have embarked on a solo career and both chose a more mainstream pop music, as opposed to their older bandmates. And both got that BB 1. And what we can compare is song quality, artist reaction and how the company's response came across into fan spaces.

In terms of the songs, I could write entire essays because at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter. It's all subjective. There is no rule that says a number one song should be about some personal experience, or the singer should have writing credits on it. And I also can't take away my subjectivity. I will chose Like Crazy over a song that not only sounds like a Bieber tune from years ago, but also has lyrics as if they were written by the boys from Larry Clark's Kids.

As to the reaction, Jimin did exactly what I expected him to do. He was humble, grateful and emotional and we saw that when he turned on the livestream. It's what makes him who he is and how he always behaves. As opposed to that, Jungkook wanted to be appear cool. And for what? Especially when later he said how excited he actually was but he refrained from expressing that. Where's the authenticity that he seeks so much through his livestreams? Because he released a song about sex for which he never officially performed live the explicit version, that means that the attitude should match that? I know the next day he was live and he was really nice. But that entire event is tainted in my mind with this almost expectation and confidence that he'll get that no. 1 and after he got the western validation, they decided to remember there's fans at home too and went to Inkigayo.

Which leads me to the last point that shows the obvious bias and preference that cannot simply be denied when it comes to BH. It's even more obvious because the entire BTS brand was that there are no favorites, which is not the same strategy as with other companies and groups. And now, all of a sudden, there is. It's great that BH celebrates an artist's success and they can immediately put on a show. But it doesn't justify how the first one to have the achievement was ignored. I have to admit, I was happy when Jimin got his no. 1 because I thought it only meant more promotions, more Jimin, more of everything. Just to be left utterly confused.

I've put that all in the past and I really try not to get too emotionally involved because as an individual, it has no bearing on my personal life and it doesn't have that many negative effects on my fan engagement.

I side eye Jungkook for how he presents himself in official promotions, but then he goes live and all of a sudden, it's the Jungkook that I'm used to. The guy who is a dork and funny and grateful to his fans. The one who cries hearing fan songs and who still beats himself up for hours because he messed up a song. I do criticize some of his actions and statements, but I'm not slandering him. The guy seems like a genuinely nice person and I still like him. He's still one of my biases for many reasons. But me having this reaction to content catered specifically for fans to create a more intimate connection is something BH was always good at. We only have to look at all the BTS footage out there. They've perfected the way in which personality comes first a lot of the times. It's what draws fans in (aside from music) and what keeps them interested. I'm part of that.

I'm convinced that it's most likely that a Jungkook fan or army or whoever disagrees with me, will read all this and believe I hate Jungkook. Which would be a shame because all I'm trying to do is explain how complex this situation is. It's never as black and white as solo stans would like everyone to believe and it's not a debate that can be generalized and tossed aside as solo talk by the ot7 chorus. I'm sure there are a lot of reasonable people in this fandom still who are able to have more than one thought in their head and see that only through a naunced discussion we can look at facts, see what's an exaggeration and what's false. To be able to distinguish between facts and personal opinion and also to admit that. That's not possible if we're not looking at these people as complex beings, instead of victims and villains.

[rewritingcanon]

ok here are some of the one part melbourne hpcc play highlights (part one only because i need to make two seperate posts… they’re too long together) in an attempted chronological order:

part one

first off, why so many dilfs? like not to be like this person about a family friendly play but seriously harry? draco? RON? RON RON RON OH MY GOD 🧎‍♀️ michael whalley please one chance

ron’s voice was very… mhmm. it was good.

harry got more attractive as he got more depressed too..

and also draco’s buttons and cuffs were sparkling and he had many silver rings on his fingers. ill leave it at that

anyways if we were to talk about actual content: the first train carriage scene was so gold omg. right before it started - karl sat down in scorpius’s carriage, seemed to realise who he was sitting with and then immediately this look of horror crossed over his face and he BOLTED away 😭😭 he ended up sitting with james sirius and craig loll

yann and polly were in a carriage together the cuties

also polly was in bicycle shorts the whole time. it was like a cloak and then just black bicycle shorts fr. idk if the actress just didnt have her pants or sum because i found out later that she was a cover (which is CRAZY because she played myrtle and polly so extremely well, she literally sounded exactly like myrtle im not kidding, aisha aidara has so much talent fr)

rose hostile side eye at scorpius when him and albus are talking for the first time i swearrrr shes so funny she was literally like this the entire time

rose looked so pleased with herself when she said “the rumour is that hes voldemort’s son! ☺️☺️” then she realises that both scorp and al are extremely uncomfortable and goes “😧😧😧well its not like its true! 😰 you clearly have a nose 😝” shes so funny bro

when albus was sorted into slytherin craig seemed to be the only one (besides scorpius) excited about it but then composed himself when he saw everyone else’s reactions

in wand dance (which is still the funkiest song of the whole score)— albus’s movement with his cloak wasnt as graceful as everyone else’s transitions in the dance, like he was messing up even that. he was more flinging it then twirling it around and his expression was one of a constant state of annoyance, like he’s aware he’s always messing up but he can’t change it because he doesn’t know how to. its why im grateful for sitting so close to the stage because i don’t think i would’ve recognised this (and other later acting i’ll talk about)

in between the first and second year with draco and harry mirroring each other was not gone unnoticed but was funny asf still.

like here’s harry trying to talk to his kid when karl runs up with his whole belly out wanting an autograph

and then you have draco who yann walks by once and he’s immediately glaring this boy down. like yann literally started ZOOMING AWAY 🏃‍♂️💨 bc draco’s intimidation tactics are so intense

scorpius sniffs rose twice whilst trying to flirt with her. w rizz.

the scene with amos, harry and albus was just ungh *chef’s kiss*

you can literally see the plan forming in albus’s head as he listens to them and his anger at his dad as he’s listening to them, harry’s discomfort at lying to amos whilst also being put to blame for cedric’s death yet again and amos’ bumbling confused pain. like idk george henare plays amos so well it was literally painful to watch

delphi’s eye makeup was so slay. tbh everything about her character was amazing

idk why i just noticed it but delphi literally acts like scorpius when her and albus first meet. awkward, unassuming, clumsy and nonthreatening and seemingly very sweet and funny. hmm.

if you take into account that she was in the background during the 9 3/4 scenes and have the opinion that she was planning on meeting albus for years, and observing him and his family the entire time, then she probably also purposefully tried to mimic the only person albus was known for getting along with, which was scorpius. HMMMM.

when delphi first meets harry she was smiling at him and looking at him with these wide eyes that can be mistaken for awe but as soon as she and amos were out of his line of sight and were leaving the stage she stopped smiling immediately but continued to look at him. the focus lights were off her and the scene was already changing but I NOTICED and it was fucking ominous

i could see how some of the effects worked when sitting up close. for instance i know that the incendio flames and the consequent fire were from tubes that were set into the pillars of st jeromes church. i could see some of the strings when things were flying around. bane’s two-body centaur was more noticeable and less smooth. when ron got kissed by the dementor i thought he was kissing back because he was discreetly holding the dementor by the waist 😭😭 then i realised he was hooking himself onto the dementor to be carried off

BUT there were some tricks that even i literally couldn’t explain and the one that comes to mind is when harry and ginny appeared in the bed during the post-nightmare bedroom scene. like how tf did that happen?? how????? i literally cannot think of anything besides the the actor and actress hiding in the mattress and then emerging BECAUSE LITERALLY HOW ELSE

ginny and harry slandering dumbledore in the bedroom scene 🫶🫶

draco looking at the audience like he’s ryan in the office every time harry says something. especially during the scene in the ministry meeting where harry says his scar is hurting. bro was so done with him.

when albus and scorpius were escaping the hogwarts express scorpius attempted to climb out onto the train’s roof first and he was sticking his leg out and pulling back in, and then sticking his leg out and pulling back in and then he turns to albus like 😧🫴 “i have never done this before bro” look on his face so albus pushes him away and just yanks himself out 💀

“my son is missing” “SO IS MINE” so good, the line delivery was perf

you know i’ve heard lots of people go on and on about how nyx calder plays the perfect scorpius and i totally get the hype now. even the way he stands is accurate to how i envision scorpius. and he’s always fidgeting with his hands, giving this impression of a cute little dorky german boy. his posture is always super straight and his hands are usually clasped which makes him look proper but awkward and very sweet, i love him, very superb acting through body language

speaking of which when amos was roasting the shit out of albus, scorpius looked so terrified. he was gripping albus’s robes and trying to pull him away 😭

“go to your room” being the first thing out of scorpius’s mouth to albus as soon as he’s polyjuiced as harry 💀

ron/albus tried to hide with scorp and delphi when hermione and harry were coming and they pushed him out of the office forcibly 😭😭

albus/ron was the number one instigator that whole scene was fucking funny and it was the first time i could watch it without cringing

when ron blocked the door from hermione he squatted and started t-posing in front of the door and went “im 🕺not🕺blocking🕺anything.” this whole scene was probably the funniest part of the play especially the “I WANT ANOTHER BABY OR A HOLIDAY AND I WILL INSIST ON IT”

also the line where hermione is like “there better not be another stink pellet in there” to ron/albus is replaced by “there better not be another romantic firework display in there” i love them sm

when ron/albus said to hermione that she married ron because of his “puckish sense of fun,” he was saying it a little flatly with this big awkward smile on his face and he was double thumbs-upping her. it looked so fourteen year old core lmfaooo

scorpius started hyperventilating on the ground when delphi and albus got swallowed by the book case and literally started crawling on all fours like *pat pat pat* cmon scorpius *pat* think!! *pat pat*

scorpius standing in between both albus and delphi talking… farther off in the forbidden forest as they were laughing. he looked so defensive like his hands were clenched and his whole body was tense, and when delphi said “wizzo” it seemed to snap scorpius out of whatever he was thinking and he went up to them and said (very sharply, mind you) “what’s wizzo?” like that’s HIS catchphrase. bro was jealoussssss heheeehehe

and when albus quizzed delphi instead of scorpius like usual, scorpius looked like he had been slapped

then when delphi said “im flattered but do you honestly think i can pass as a student” to albus scorpius started shaking his head aggressively and not so inconspicuously doing the cut-it-out hand gesture to albus 😭😭

when delphi kissed albus, scorpius flinched… and then slowly put his own cheek out and delphi literally was like “mmm no” 😭

scorpius said “you look sweaty and red” to albus after the kiss, it didnt sound light-hearted like the other times it did when i saw the play, but accusatory. hmm. interesting.

scorpius also said “sweaty and red” instead of “pale and red” like the script and i might be biased and reading too much into it, but i was thinking about why they might change something so minuscule. maybe because “sweaty” gives a grosser connotation then “pale,” and i genuinely think in this revised version of the play albus isn’t supposed to have a crush on delphi

when scorpius and albus are alone together looking at the school, and talking about how beautiful it is and how they each view their lives at present, scorpius was looking out at the view the whole time but halfway through the scene albus stops looking at the view and starts looking at scorpius instead!!! um!!! with this very soft look on his face as well, until they’re interrupted by hearing their parents come. guys. im not kidding. its so gay usually but up close the play is even worse my jaw was dropping.

albus’s “ZORRY HERZMIONE I ZINK HE HAZ GOZZEN YOU MIZZED WIZZ ZUMUN ELZZZE” in bad german accents and scorpius’s very manly, very loud “YEZZZZ 👹💪” 

when albus and scorpius got caught by harry and co. albus went “hi dad 😙” and his voice was so high, bro was scared 😭😭

i have to think about whether i miss gryffindor albus or not. maybe. i think i kinda do bc it shows how albus being a loser isn’t dependent on his house (and neither is his connection to scorpius). but yeah that whole plotline was scrapped and albus just remained in slytherin in this timeline.

when harry told albus to stay away from scorpius, harry tried to leave it at that and leave but albus started to chase harry out of the hospital because bro was that desperate. his feet were literally bare (im pretty sure this is in the script too but seeing it live is so… god.)

the seperate scene where ron and hermione meet each other in private at the top of the staircase is merged with the scene where albus meets the new not-funny ron. and they both meet on top of the staircase with the light spotlighting them, and its very clear that they are in love with each other

hermione is about to walk off when ron calls her back and she immediately turns around and goes right back to him, her face is so happy 😭

and its so sad because this whole scene mirrors scorpius and albus so exactly in the staircase ballet. like if not in love, why mirroring ron and hermione throughout the play? (even in dark world, which i’ll get into later…)

anyways, staircase ballet: scorpius and albus stare at each other total of three times. and when i mean stare, i mean the light reflects off of them and they are frozen in prolonged silence (longing). once when the staircases meet, another when albus is on the ground and scorpius is at the top of the staircase, unreachable from him. last time is when the staircases stop at a cross section, and they’re standing, looking at each other. and from my angle i could see albus’s face the best, and i feel like it could be interpreted by either seeming apologetic or desperate, either way there was this very pleading look on his face.

they both froze when the saw each other and still look on the verge of moving to one another and then the staircases move off as soon as scorpius starts walking towards him.

albus looks so disappointed because HE WANTED SCORP TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE because he’s too scared to do it himself. he ends up just sitting on the staircase and dropping his bag beside him in defeat, and looking away. scorpius still stands and watches albus go off. yah its as queer as i remember it. glad this wasnt cut.

draco was fixing and adjusting the furniture whilst duelling harry. idk if the furniture just wasnt on the mark on stage but it was fucking adorable. he kept fixing the chairs up and then patting it nervously ☹️ idc if it wasn’t intentional it seemed in character to me for him to just be a total busybody even in the midst of a duel

ginny’s micro-expressions at draco when he talks about how lonely he felt at school were amazing. harry looked a little uncomfortable when he was speaking but ginny looked really sympathetic to him, and draco notices this and thats why he speaks on “i know you must feel the same ginny” and shes like “i do” which immediately changes harry’s discomfort to shock, then i feel like he starts taking draco seriously

seen the play three times and during the fight scene with scorpius and albus, scorpius has acted differently each time. first time, scorpius was literally sobbing when talking to him, second time he was literally screaming at him in anger, third time he was just disappointed asf in him. i think this time was the best for his characterisation but god it hurt each time

mcgonagall’s “if i didn’t see you, then i didn’t see you” and she does this big over-exaggerated shrug and starts creeping away like a cartoon character to insinuate to albus and scorpius that shes leaving. i love her 😭

also when albus and scorpius were talking about their next plan i realised their bags are so different: albus has this raggedy big ass brown messenger bag and scorpius has this shiny, small, flashy, zesty little pouch. there are two types of gays.

myrtle was literally hitting on scorpius lmfao scorpius was just like 😨 the entire time

and of course myrtle’s “hello draco 😏 heloooooo harryyy 😻” nah because i get her

craig is such a fucking busy body he was trying to manage harry, ginny, draco AND mcgonagall and only stopped when draco pushed him away and death glared him 😭

erm why was umbridge hot asf. idfk the dark world looks really good on her guys

here’s part two

[senualothbrok]

Thinking of you and sending happy, hopeful, bright vibes over to you💕 (you can always message me if you want to chat)

How did you get into writing? You have such a beautiful style, I love to hear author's 'origin stories'.

What are some of your favourite books?

Aaaand what's something about you we may not know? 🌻♥️✨

💜🫂 Thank you lovely. I appreciate that so much. I am sending you the same, and the same offer obviously.

As for your juicy questions...

How did I get into writing?

I'm so honoured that you like my style. That is such high praise coming from a poet like yourself! 🥹 When I was a kid I loved reading and words and stories. My first "career ambition" was expressed at 9, I wanted to be an author! And when I was a teenager, I occasionally wrote stories, and I wrote loads of fanfic from 15-17 (it was a lifeline for me at that time too!). But I had really low self esteem so it was a struggle to maintain creativity alongside the self doubt and perfectionism, and trying to be A High Achiever and all the rest of it. So I lost the habit of writing. I did write some poems when I was in my early twenties, and blogged a fair bit, but didn't have the presence of mind to write stories. Life got in the way. I forgot that I have a writer's soul.

And then in 2021 I did a creative writing course, and started writing a novel on and off. I then got BG3 brainrot last year, the novel fell to the wayside (lol) because of fanfic, and now I'm here!

My novel is 2/3 of the way through, and I hope to one day finish it and get it published! I would like to be a full time writer eventually 💜

What are some of your favourite books?

Oh boy I love this question so much!!! This is a curated list.

* Circe by Madeline Miller

* The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

She is my greatest influence. I hope to write like her one day! Every word she writes is poetry. So much wisdom and pain and beauty, so much economy in her writing. Her books have transformed me. I just love her work so much.

* The Greenlanders by Jane Smiley

I love the Icelandic sagas and this book basically reads like a real saga from the Viking age. It's incredible. Like something unearthed from the ancient depths.

*The Hours by Michael Cunningham

When I first read this book I felt like it illuminated a fundamental universal truth and cracked my soul open. I need to re-read it...

Some book series:

* A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin

* The Witcher by Andrzei Sapowski

* The Southern Reach Trilogy by Jeff Vandermeer

All amazing, immersive, meticulous, expertly written. The first two are well known and beloved in fandom. The Southern Reach Trilogy is super weird and fucks with your head - Lovecraftian.

I am also a big fan of Sylvia Plath's poetry.

I'm sure there are more works I'm forgetting but I could go on and on!

Something about me you may not know

Umm I lose track of what I've shared online and what I haven't 🤣 um I guess I used to be an avid kickboxer/boxer! That's probably something semi exciting!

Thank you again my dear for letting me talk about myself and what I love. I feel more "real" and seen. 🫂💜 I'm so grateful.

Hope you're having a good day xxx

[in-newjersey]

On similar topics to the prior, I also like to point out that subtle differences in line delivery - again, something more or less up to the performer/director - can completely change ways that that suggests characterization

Let's explore pieces from Michael in the Bathroom and the prior scene:

"Did you ever wonder what it's doing inside you?" - this is how George often said it, and can be taken multiple ways. Obviously, the next line suggests that Jeremy took it as 'he's not worthy for it hence Michael is jealous' whereas, as we know, Michael is trying to say that this can't be its intended use to just end up in a random high schooler

"Did you ever wonder what it's doing inside you?" - saw a community theater production on youtube where the Michael actor emphasised 'doing,' which COMPLETELY shifts the meaning. This implies that Michael is first and foremost worrying about the purpose of the SQUIPs, and the way it's changing Jeremy from the inside. Jeremy's next line, therefore, suggests that instead Michael is jealous of the ways he's personally improving (social standing, posture, skills etc)

Right there - a pair of lines from which a lot of analyses hinge on interpretting the cracks in their friendship - one choice of word emphasis can fundamentally re-direct what it says about the way the character works on the inside

Another more general example (going to keep using MITB because it's The Song), how the actor's voice and gesturing in the song change things.

George in Two River, while certainly heartbroken, certainly came across a lot less timid and anxious than Broadway. On the Broadway recording, the tempo is a little slower (and plays back and forth), he's using more head-voice than chest voice (so less 'angry' and forceful), and in some ways his voice is a lot smoother than Two River. This is the same actor only a few years apart, who originated the character, and already two different productions make Michael seem pretty different, especially how one might intuit things about the character

The biggest, most obvious example out there is the VERY early demo with Will Roland as Michael, where the delivery is completely different. He's sad, sure, but it's a lot more bitter and sarcastic than heartbroken and panicky. The only main musical difference is that it's in a lower key; the rest of it is how the actor chooses to pronounce and intone things, and it feels like a completely different song.

There are some other productions out there with various other takes: I saw a cabaret-style version where the singer decided to make MITB a comedic(?) number, which, while weird and (imo) kind of missing the point, was totally possible; the audience was laughing along. Then you have the Australian production, where the actor decided to have MITB come off as a furious number, almost yelling with how hard he was using chest-voice throughout. Then you have that one large-scale youth production (I forget the company name), where the actor went a little closer to Two-River George for general delivery, but leaned into just full-on ugly crying through the end of the song, which again, changed how the whole thing came off (this is honestly how I personally like to perform it, but again, I don't think that would work for every actor/production)

(there are also, of course - and no disrespect intended, acting skills vary - quite a few high-school productions online where the singer is really just doing his best to make it through and hit the notes, and that's fair too, it's a challenging song for an inexperienced singer)

Anyway, as a followup to how wide a range of character traits are up to the actor, even the same script can be turned and interpretted quite differently! This isn't even getting into non-verbal ways you can have characters interact that might suggest completely different interpretations