#this is just how weird alien god societies work

[menderash]

Marika, impregnating herself for the third time: this one will be normal

[elbiotipo]

also, while we are at it

"my dragon flies because it's magic xdxddxdxd"

fine, acceptable, it's magic. Okay. Even as a biologist I'm willing to give it a pass. God knows that in my space opera project I've went "mumble mumble convergent evolution mumble" for some of my earth-like aliens. The shape is kinda believeable and original, you chose some cool features, it's fine, no need for the whole phylogenetic tree.

Now, why is it magic? what does it mean it is magic?

Were dragons created by a god? are they manifestations of nature? why are dragons, especifically, magic and not say, crocodiles?

Is it a species with physical presence and a life cycle, or are they magical beings? how many dragons are there, how important they are to your world? are they worshipped, feared, venerated, just some kind of weird megafauna but otherwise unremarkable? what do they eat, how much?

If it's a sentient dragon from a physical species, as most modern fiction seems to assume (you'd be surprised that in most medieval works they were mostly mindless beasts or demons, dragons as noble creatures are very much a modern invention in the West) how do they think? How do they act differently from smaller, less powerful, shorter lived species? Do they have their own gods, their own rituals, their own beliefs? Are they lonely beings or are they able, or interested, to form part of society, or even have their own societies?

What's the cultural role of a dragon in the world you're making? What do your characters think when they hear the word 'dragon'? What do they know about dragons, when your hero goes and finds one, what are their conceptions of it? Can they fight it? How? Why?

Notice that most of my questions aren't stupid UNREALISTIC! CINEMASINS DING!, but things that actually affect your characters, setting and plot. Don't like to write a ethnographical paper about dragons? do it anyways or I'll shoot you, don't, but if you're introducing an element to your story, even if you're using stock fantasy elements like dragons, you will benefit A LOT from thinking how they fit into your story.

And even in settings were "it's magic" is acceptable as an answer, or more *surreal* or comedic stories where things happen without too much logic, a dragon is still a symbol. What does your dragon mean in your story? "oh, a magical dragon". Fine. Why is there a dragon on your story? Don't have a whole herpetology paper, because this is just a romance? Okay, can you spare me a couple lines to tell me what does a dragon mean in your world? That too, is yuri worldbuilding.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Do the ethnostates inherent in major fantasy ever feel real weird to you? You’ve got elftopia (full of elves, where everyone speaks elf and worships the elf gods), orc-hold (full of orcs and maybe their slaves, where everyone speaks orc and worships the orc gods), and dwarfton (made by the dwarves! for the dwarves!).

You might have some cosmopolitan areas, usually human-dominant, but those are usually rare enough in-setting that they need to be pointed out separately. Is this just based on a misunderstanding of the medieval era, and the assumption that countries were all racially homogenous?

This has been bouncing around my brain the last little while. Do you have any thoughts on that? Is it just in my head?

I think what you've noticed is a quirk of derivative fantasy writing, which like a lot of hangups with the genre originates in people trying to crib Tolkien's work without really understanding what he was going for:

Though it contains a lot of detail, Tolkien's world is not grounded. It functions according a narrative logic that changes depending on what work in particular you're focusing on at the time (The Hobbit is a fairytale full of tricks and riddles, Lord of the Rings is a heroic epic, The Silmirilion is a legendary history).

One of the reasons the races are separate is to instill the feeling of wonder in the hobbits as POV characters for the reader, other folk live in far off places and are supposed to feel more legendary than our comparatively mundane friends from the shire. The Movies captured this well where going east in middle earth was like going back in time to a more and more mythologized past.

In real life, people don't stay static for thousands of years, no matter how long their people live. They meet, mingle, war and trade. Empires rise and fall creating shrapnel as they go, cultures adapt to a changing environment. This means that any geographic cross section you make is going to be a collage of different influences where uniformity is a glaring aberration.

What the bad Tolkien knockoffs did was take his image of a mythical world and tried to make it run in a realistic setting. Tolkien can say the subterranean dwarven kingdom of Erebor lasted for a thousand years without having to worry about birthrates or demographic shifts or the logistics of farming in a cave because he's writing the sort of story where those things don't matter. D&D and other properties like it however INSIST that their worlds are grounded and realistic but have to bend over backwards to keep things static and hegemonic.

Likewise contributing to the "ethnostate" feeling is early d&d (backbone of the fantasy genre that it is) being created by a bunch of White Midwestern Americans who were not only coming from a background of fantasy wargaming but were working during the depths of the coldwar. Hard borders and incompatible ideologies, cultural hegemony and intellectual isolation, a conception of the world that focused around antagonism between US and THEM. These were people born in the era of segregation for whom the idea of cultural and racial osmosis was alien, to the point where mingling between different fantasy races produced the "mongrelman" monster, natural pickpockets who combined the worst aspects of all their component parts, unwelcome in good society who were most often found as slaves.

This inability to appreciate cultural exchange is likewise why the central d&d pantheon has a ton of human gods with specific carveouts for other races (eventually supplemented with a bunch of race specific minor gods who are various riffs on the same thing). Rather than being universal ideals, the gods were seen as entities just as tribalistic as their followers.

[yaseraphine]

2024, the year I lost my crown.

Pluto in aquarius / Sun / Ego / Leo stellium / Ego death / Karma

I will say it loudly and proudly : In 2024, I entered my flop era (and it set me free)

This post will sum up the major lessons I learned this year through the prism of astrology.

INTRODUCTION - This post is a post I was looking forward to sharing for a while. 2024 seemed to have been a crazy year for a lot of people. Mine could be summed up by “emotional release” or the release of a karmic emotional cycle as well as connecting with my inner child. This year was charged with deep epiphanies about my childhood, which I realized I romanticized and erased key moments from my memory. Realizations came in waves always accompanied with the identification of intense deep seated insecurities and fears that stemmed from my childhood and the way I was nurtured. All of those intense and hidden emotions bubbling up to the surface together made this year really emotionnally charged with negative emotions. This eventually unwillingly forced me to neglect superficial aspects of life, such as appearance and charisma. I was slow, insecure, tired all the time, felt like sh*t all the time, lost drive. You could say that, basically, in chronically online terms, In 2024, I just entered my flop era.

This made me realize the extent of our society's obsession with glowing up, being the best version of ourselves at all times, pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. Entering our so-called “bad bitch” era, focusing on self-care, being the best, having people admiring us, standing out, being that b, making people do a double take on us,etc... Most of our life is spent relentlessly  trying to be unique, appearing at the top of our game. We always aspire and desire to appear and seem , but we never just are. 

Capitalism has its ways of trapping us into a vicious cycle of superficial constant change and improvement. Like it creates new problems to solve for the mere goal of selling a new product to us, it creates a weird transactional and selfish sense of self, where we almost aspire to be alienated from the community and stand out. 

I decided to share this post as a reminder, in the sea of “how to glow up in 2025” videos and posts, that, sometimes, divine timing has its ways and it prevents us from shining the way we want to. Not every year is a year to glow up, you cannot be at the top of your game all the time. Like during the reign of a Queen or King, your empire will have an apogee, but also a decline. Your power and influence over your empire will always fluctuate, and you will only get probably one period of apogee, followed by a pretty intense empire decline. Despite going through all of this, something will always remain and that is faith. The faith you have in yourself, in the future, maybe even in God or a Higher Power. The faith that is deep inside yourself and that guides and helps you to push through even if you’re at your lowest.

This issue behind this obsession with “glowing up”, and all the external validation that comes with it and avoiding “flopping” at all costs, is what led me to go insane and completely give up this year.

Start of college : a beautifully humbling experience

-> from the top grader to a “mid” grader, an average student

-> highly political place 

-> Politicians and rulers : ruled by Leo BUT political parties, independent parties, ideology : ruled by Aquarius

-> I started to not only take interest in my own endeavors but also the country’s / humanity’s condition

-> I attended riots and protests multiple times, even during exams seasons

-> I assisted to GM’s hosted by students there to protect students’ rights but also for Gaza (GMs = General Meetings)

-> I read books about feminism, learned about communism and just politics in general

-> Unlearned a lot of myths surrounding the working class, rape culture, cultural appropriation, ..

-> Made new friends quite different from the ones I had in High school > anarchists, feminists, really woke people.

Why did all those changes occur ? 

SR Chart of the year 2023-24 : North Node in the 11th  house > letting go of ego and individuality to embrace community

Lilith in the 9th house transit : with all this new knowledge, I literally felt like my brain was being rewired. All the old thought patterns and life limiting beliefs I have been clinging to all chattered, bits per bits. Of course, I started that shadow work way before I got that Transit HOWEVER this transit did boost the process of getting rid of those limiting beliefs.

Gemini rising > my 7th house sign, my shadow, was my rising that year. I have to say the year prior to this year prepared me REALLY well to deal with it since, that year, I became friends and hung out with a bunch of people with gemini stelliums (i genuinely don't know how I survived tbh)

North node return -> events that pushed me to get out of my comfort zone

Chiron in the 9th house transit : my natural ability and talent to think abstractly got tested by this transit. The more theory I learned, the foggier my mind got. I kind of felt like the more times passed, the dumber I got. Which, I know, sounds crazy. But my comfort zone of having philosophical thoughts, disconnecting from my direct environment, this sagittarian hyper-independence (and ego..) became uncomfortable to embody and I felt a sense of loss every time I was ought to have abstract ideas and see the bigger picture. My natural intellectual talents “decreased” and I had no choice but to ask for help and interact with other students to understand certain concepts (so becoming the student even though it’s not comfortable to me). Along with my North node return in the 3rd house (my natal placement), this pushed me to trust other people’s knowledge and experience and learn from them. To show up daily, interact with people from all walks of life and not think to myself before doing so that “there is no point anyway to talk to them it’s useless/ a waste of time / we’re too different” or whatever bullshit excuses my ego would create to prevent myself from socialising

"Let them eat cake"

My obsessive desire to be perfect and to handle everything by myself got too far. I wanted to look my best every single day, but, by the second semester I just couldn't keep up. My timetable was heavier, my classes less interesting and even harder. But, what truly pushed me, or more so forced me to change, was my final exams results of the first semester. In high school, I did not have to study much to excel. To be a top grader, better than everyone else was easy for me, it was a routine. I was never surprised by my grades because I knew I topped as usual. However, going with this mentality/ belief for those exams was what slapped me right back to reality. My grades were bad. When I saw them, my heart shrinked, I was completely shocked. I did not expect much to be fair, but I thought it was going to be okay. Oh boy, it clearly WASN’T. And what made it worse was the people around me, who did not seem to take school as seriously, who consistently skipped classes, who cheated and lied for homework. These people, these people that I consistently judged as immoral, those people that I despised so much , THOSE, they got better grades than me. This made me go CRAZY. I cried for days on end, I couldn’t go to classes because of how badly I felt. This was the final straw for me : what is the point of being such a straight, invested person who came to classes even when I was sick, who always looked clean and hydrated. A perfect student with a perfect attitude. An independent student who helped her classmates. A perfect student who gets exploited by a system where cheaters and liars pass just as well, if not better, and get complimented as much. I realized how much pent up rage I had inside of me. I wasn’t just sad or disappointed, I was deeply disgusted. 

Leo stellium, Sun in Cancer conjunct Saturn, Pluto and Chiron in the first house and 9th house south node : unrealistic standards, lack mindset, low self-confidence, strong ego , scared of being bad at something, of being the worst, self-loathing, “there is no point in doing that anyway” , “i am not like them anyway there’s no need for me to go to this event” : 

As someone with a Leo stellium, I never realized how strict I was to myself. Only people around me could see it, but, because of how headstrong I am, I thought they just didn’t have enough standards. The thing is, I couldn’t see how perfect a lot of things in my life were because I was only fixated on what I lacked. I only focused on the defaults, the problems, the parts I wasn’t good enough in. And even the vocal and direct feedback of people wasn’t enough for me to believe I was just fine, maybe even great. And while I always focused on the parts I have failed in, I also had this unrealistic expectation that I needed to have a neutral, linear emotional life. In my head, it was like : I had a period/ period of emotional disturbances now I cannot have one again, or at least not as intense. It’s simply impossible. Now I used all my “jokers”, cards , I have no choice but to only go higher. This strange way of thinking was what made me only put positive/confident songs on my spotify playlists and avoid any songs that expressed “negative” emotions, outside of anger and rebellion. You could say it's a good thing in a way because I did my best to lift my head up. I knew how music affected my mood so I adapted my playlists accordingly. The thing is, whenever I was feeling anything other than confidence or anger, I did everything in my power to dismiss it. I obsessed over avoiding feeling low because in that state, no one will like me. People will see me in a vulnerable state and it’s too embarrassing. People have to admire me, compliment me, heck just like me at least. But if I’m not on top of my game, they will realize I am like them. I am part of the “plebs”. I have to be a queen, a princess, not a goddamn peasant! (really harsh wording, I know, but it felt like that looking back). I can’t. I just can’t. ... Unfortunately, trying to desesperately keep up with my reponsabilities as a Queen, not caring much for people as they were mere peasants who had nothing to do with me, is what led me right into my empire's decline.. Up in my fragile papermade castle, seating on my throne, I truly always felt so lonely...

The last straw  : getting rid of the lion’s mane

I shaved my head. Crazy but I did. By myself. A monday afternoon, 3 days before halloween. Right in the middle of the sinister season of the Scorpio : I shaved my head. I shaved my long, luscious and golden curly hair. This mane that held all those limiting beliefs and toxic standards. My hair was my signature look, one of the first things people noticed about me. One of the first things people complimented me about. “Look at those beautiful curly hair ! I wish I had hair like you!” “They look so healthy omg!”. All this external validation was like a drug to me, therefore, I never DARED to even trim it. Yeah. Looking back, I was crazy for that.

Sr for the year 2024-25 + Pluto in Capricorn last turn around : my experience

SR Chart 2024-25 : Virgo rising with the chart ruler Mercury in Leo in the 12th house.

Pretty gloomy and bleak period. I was feeling quite depressed to be fully honest. I started the new school year with every symptoms of depression, exept the su*c*dal thoughts. I was slow, my body was heavier yet I lost weight. I moved slower, thought slower, slept more, was always tired, taking a shower, doing the dishes, eating and every other simple daily task was a burden, harder than usual. My solar leonine energy, my vitality all disappeared without me realizing it. I had low self confidence, didn’t get ready in the morning, and stopped feeling any sense of pleasure. I was empty, crying on the train to my campus. The last time I felt like this, it was in 2018, I was 13, depressed and entering the darkest phase of my Dark Night of the Soul.

Guess what, I am Not A Robot

You've been acting awful tough lately

Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately

But inside you're just a little baby, oh

It's okay to say you've got a weak spot

You don't always have to be on top

Better to be hated than loved, loved, loved

For what you're not

You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable

You are not a robot

You're lovable, so lovable

But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Once again, I had no other way but to ask for help. I went to see a doctor after years of avoiding it. I confessed a lot of things to my mom with whom I always had/have a really distant and tense relationship. Our conversations were really eye opening for the both of us. I went to see a therapist, and I am still looking for one. I didn’t have enough energy to attend class (I live 1h15/1H30 away from my campus.. so my 8 am classes were awful, especially since not attending is a risk to failing in that subject.. I was in a really problematic period.) But, I met a friend, an Aquarius sun and rising student who helped me throughout all of this. She was the contrary of me in many ways : really social, open and relied on other people. easily opened up to others. She didn’t have those perfectionistic obsessive thoughts. She trusted people, had a bunch of friends, and didn't overthink every single one of her interactions. She quickly became the air that tempered down my fire, which was burning myself out. My ego was killing me and my body (symptoms of depression) was warning me. I couldn’t control these feelings. I hadn't felt that depressed in a while. Like the type of depression that makes you stare at the wall in the morning, struggling to get out of bed.I thought it was behind me. I thought I was better than this. I thought “yes other people have depressions and struggle on a daily basis because of it and that’s okay but me ? I am over it. I had one at the beginning of my teenagehood. Now it can’t happen again, at least not actual depression.” But no, unfortunately for me, It did indeed happen. This showed me I was vulnerable, like every human being. I wasn’t immune to failing, to lose, to being bad, to being average, to needing help. I was simply a human being. I wasn’t a superior entity, a god flying above the rest of humanity.  I was just like them. Was I considered a bit weird for liking astrology, tarot and for listening to kpop ? Was I considered a bit weird for having Halloween as my favourite holiday ? Was I a bit edgy and had a certain sensitivity to anything grotesque, deadly, macabre, taboo ? Yes, I was all of that. But I am still a human being. I am just like other people in many ways, and even if I have more quirks than the average person It shouldn’t stop me from socialising. I need people and people need me, and, honestly, that is totally fine. Connecting with others is beautiful. People are here to help each other and share their experiences. That is the most beautiful part of existence : everyday frivolous conversations with people, interacting with them, exchanging ideas, sharing our daily frustrations and struggles, laughing. All of that is the simplicity I never expected I needed so badly. On the quest of finding this truth, I went faraway in the abstract realm of ideas only to realize that this truth was right in front of me since the beginning.

Life really wasn't as complicated as I made it to be.

A song that sums up this overall energy

Fear and Loathing - MARINA : "I'm done with tryin' to have it all and endin' up with not much at all"

Marina called Fear and Loathing a turning point in her life, after which she stopped being a "bitter person" and began to work with new people and try new things, even though she wrote the song alone in her bedroom in London. She placed the track last on Electra Heart because she views it as a "letting go" song.

In this process of losing myself, I am gaining something precious and that is the construction of a true authentic self-confidence. Not one that is out of fear : out of fear of being perceived like a loser, a compulsive fear of being like my 12 year old self, a scared and terrified pre-teen who hated herself, from the way she looked to her personality and non-existent talents.

I am finally starting to cultivate something solid, something that comes from a deep sense of self. 

[Verse 1]

I've lived a lot of different lives

Been different people many times

I live my life in bitterness

And fill my heart with emptiness

And now I see, I see it for the first time

There is no crime in being kind

Not everyone is out to screw you over

Maybe, yeah just maybe they just wanna get to know ya

And now the time is here

Baby, you don't have to live your life in fear

And the sky is clear, is clear of fear

[Chorus]

Don't wanna live in fear and loathing

I wanna feel like I am floating

Instead of constantly exploding

In fear and loathing

Albums that accompanied me during this period

Traumazine - Megan Thee Stallion

Something to Give Each Other - Troye Sivan 

All year long, I was drawn to artists with an 8th house North Node. Lately, I’ve been drawn to slower, more sensual and jazzy songs, which isn’t something I listen to usually. Songs about intimacy, vulnerability.

-> both artists have a North Node in the 8th house, which is currently the energy I am encouraged to embody as it is the North Node of my solar return for the year 2024-25.

This north node is all about trust and intimacy, sharing oneself, the deepest parts of ourselves with others, sharing our resources, accepting loss and not compulsively clinging onto things, and possessions.

Just in the title of Troye Sivan’s album, this 8th house aspect is instantly identified : we have something to share, to give to others, to exchange with someone. It hints at an exclusive exchange between two people.

Something to Give Each Other hits especially now. Traumazine, it was more in February/March, which was the period I was starting to release things and started healing, feeling deeply angry and sad at the same. (around the astrological new year). Since September/October, especially now and for the next few months if not year, I have been feeling more like Something to Give Each Other. Now more than ever I am discovering the beauty of connecting with others, sharing my true self, throwing myself fully in the unknown nature of human relationships. All of those things , despite being a Pluto dominant and 8th houser, truly terrified me for years  even though I obsessively and terribly craved it at the same time.

This album is my something to give you - a kiss on a dancefloor, a date turned into a weekend, a crush, a winter, a summer. Party after party, after party after after party. Heartbreak, freedom. Community, sisterhood, friendship. All that.

— Sivan describing the album

At the end of the day, we all have something to give to someone, and to give each other.

[cuprohastes]

The chant.

The Varshan Invaders had this thing: Unity.

They dropped Anjax, which was mostly just thirty farms raising the local safe-to-eat animals nicknamed Argnu.

The farmers had all read the briefing packets: If it's the Xss, the Dormavir, the Jince... run. Run n' hide. They'll eat you, literally eat you and that won't do you any good.

The Twon-hai, Gir and Tsush, they're slavers, they'll give up if you stand up to them. Expect up to 68% losses. Still better than what they'll do to you.

The Vershan, the On-dotir, the uHown or the Kelth... Jsut surrender, don't annoy them the Terran Colonial force wills how up and sort it, and there's a chance you can jsut persuade them to be chill and mark you down as Not For Conquering.

So anyway. The Varshan. They'll only take over if they think that the population are disUnified. It's their holy mission to reduce entropy via unity or something. They're pretty chill about it - Nobody gets sacrificed to the dark god, or put in the Castigation Pit - but it's a huge pain in the ass when you really need to be shipping Argnu Beef and not e.g. nonconsensually being inducted into an alien religion.

So they dragged everyone into one area and did their Unity Chant to show that they all were unified.

Then they sent thier guy out and planted a flag.

The next part is they grab some rando and tell them to "Show their Unity". This works well usually because you pick anyone form even a fairly smoothly integrated society and put them on the spot, they'll panic.

Which was why Jacinta Omura, 45, admin, completely bewildered, was dragged out in front of everyone she knew.

So she looks at the aliens who are all looking smug having done thier weird Haka, looks back at the crowd of farmers, and shippers and what-not... And it's her time to shine.

She strieks a pose, head down, one arm up, wide stance.

Everyone in the front row behind her are like OK Jace has flipped her burger here.

But then she starts to sing... Well chant. Not well, not nearly loud enough...

"Buddy, you're a boy," she says, voice breaking. She swallows and adds "make a big noise... Playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday."

Now her voice is getting a little more confident.

About this time the crowd behind her has started to pick up on what she's doing, and there's a ripple of people starting to back her up: The rows behind them catching on.

"You got mud on your face, you're a big disgrace - Kicking your can all over the place, singin'..."

She lifts both arms like she's conducting, and behind her there's the entire colony: clap-clap stomp, Clap-clap stomp, shaking the ground, singing, as one:

"We will, we will rock you! We will, we will rock you"

Well the Vershan were kind of impressed, because hey that ticks the box, and also, style points there. So they loaded up on Argnu meat at a good price so show no hard feelings and went off on their holy crusade to annoy everyone.

And that's how Freddie Mercury saved Anjax.

[pyreo]

was sweeping up some map completion for a gift of exploration and just got reminded of so many cool things I like about original gw2/worldbuilding

I love Orr and how weird and alien it is. The ambience of sitting there with everything damp, dripping, made of coral, literally a lost world that doesn't fit above water any more. I love how oily the sky is and that occasionally a huge shadow sweeps over you as something like Blightghast/other risen dragons go by overhead. I love that it looks like this

It's so otherworldly. I especially like the eerie birdcalls (I know it's just a real bird I'm not used to, but it's so unique and strange)

I like that the end of the Pact storyline doesn't feel... hopeful. At all. Orr is blighted and diseased, mottled with decay, with lost journals from people who were never going to survive. I like that the story culminates here, grandiose but mournful. You're trying again but this place you're in was already lost, with thousands of lives, and it doesn't feel like triumphant reclaiming. I like that none of the game through these >10 years has really framed oncoming war, and fighting to survive, with glory. I like that the fight through Orr doesn't really feel righteous. It's no clash against a tyrant or something with belief in good over 'evil'. It's just sad. Trying to get through and survive it.

I like the clearly LOTR-emulating Orr music, particularly how this one goes into a male chorus at the end-

I like how an entire map is called Malchor's Leap and that clues you in to it being named after something and then you can go find out and it's just even more depressing. But at the same time, it reiterates the history of Orr - that human gods lived there and it must have been full of incredible splendour and that's gone and you will never see it, you can only try to imagine based on the wrecks of cathedrals.

And speaking of the human gods, I just like how each race has their own take on religion and they all get something tailored to their outlook. Nobody disputes one religion over the other like in our world - each one is generally assumed to be true on some level, and in some cases, provably real, but each race gets something different from their history and belief system anyway. Humans used to live alongside their gods but have been abandoned and none of them know why (and we eventually do find out what happened). Norn can invoke a governing spirit from any creature alive and choose the one that they'll serve best, but these spirits can be killed and you can see what happens when they mourn them. Sylvari have a stone of commandments from their long-dead benefactor that has completely fucked up their society because they aren't sure if following the tenets is wise or brainwashing. Asura actually believe there is an equation that can solve the entire universe and everything is part of a grand scheme beyond knowing, which is something more like a philosophy than religion but deserves mentioning because it means the Intellectual Goblin Race weren't made into cut and dry atheists as a cliche. They believe in something and have personal interpretations about it. One of them even made a machine to make the Eternal Alchemy viewable that drove someone insane when they used it and I just like how things asura do tend to backfire.

And the Charr. I mean. They're the atheists and it's all because they were duped into technically following a human god for a while and they're never going to get over-- no, wait. They started getting over it and the Flame Legion integrated with regular society again after their leader was deposed, because things moved forward and changed, and I like that too.

I feel like I can talk and talk on and on about this fictional history because it... just.... works? It's all part of a tapestry of cause and effect and meaningful characterisations. And they deliberately set up the basis for their playable races and then made the story NPCs generally turn those expectations around - Caithe being a grief-ridden assassin, Rox being a superstitious oddball, Zojja being irrational, Canach starting out as a pompous asshole.

I like the Ceera is still around in HoT and if you took the personal story route where her husband died, she still hasn't forgiven you and never does.

I loved Zafirah (bring her back!) showing that badly rooted spirituality can be redirected into something healthy and healing without being negated.

I like how many NPCs show up as part of a story step and you can ask if you know them and they'll say oh, yeah I was in the Pact with that whole thing? Or 'I saw you from a medical tent in maguuma and didn't think I'd make it', constant callbacks and the sense that minor characters have a continuous existence independent of you.

I like how solemnly the game takes its wins. The initial campaign against Zhaitan makes sure to kill characters off and made bringing Destiny's Edge along to it feel like its own entire obstacle. Heart of Thorns smashes any confidence the Pact has after the base game and takes an intentional sacrifice to be won, and I still think about him. Going after a literal god in Path of Fire costs you your life. Going after Kralkatorrik, with Destiny's Edge's guilt weighing on you, costs you your own child. Saving the fate of the world by fulfilling the exact conditions for Aurene to ascend costs you your child again, being taken from you so that the whole world stops rocking on its axis, losing your baby as she turns into a deity. Icebrood Saga puts you in the shoes of a relatable, easygoing crew on the opposing side, then sits back and waits for you to kill them all to continue. When you fight the final dragon as the final boss in Dragon's End you don't want to kill her at all, and she begs you to leave and get away so she won't harm you while you try, in bitterness and desperation, to end her unfathomably long life.

And the entire short but brilliant arc with Joko made sure we don't really feel empowered or just about the choices we've made.

It's just. Been really fucking good.

[transthadymacdermot]

i would like to hear more about the relationship between mary and eoin if that is alright! it seems like it might be a little complicated?

Yeah. god. so, they've known each other since they were very small, and been very close since childhood, because their parents knew one another and so they were raised side by side. they weren't each other's only friends growing up -- Mary had Kathleen and Eoin had Kathleen AND Donal -- but they represent for each other pretty much the only person either of them has ever met who shares the sense of profound alienation from 1) 'normal' expected behaviour, and 2) their own actual personalities, which they both feel like they have to repress to be accepted in society, in Eoin's case because anti-autistic ableism won't stand for him making weird noises and in Mary's case because she's expected to perform femininity flawlessly to "count" as a woman. additionally, they've had similar experiences wrt the violence of the british empire on their families & communities at large, so generally both of them feel like the other one understands them in a way no one else does AND like therefore the other one is the only person they can truly be themselves around. and obviously there's the fact that they're extremely physically attracted to one another. that too.

Anyway on this basis their relationship evolved pretty quickly from Just Friends to "well, you're the only person I can ever talk to and I feel like no one else understands my situation so obviously I want to make out about it." in an ideal world I think they would at least try to get married and either way live together and probably jump at the opportunity to adopt any children which might appear to have a family together. HOWEVER, the spanner in the works is the fact that Eoin leads the local anti-landlord anti-british sectarian gang, and Mary does NOT approve on several levels. first, she objects to the mere essence of, like, being in a paramilitary that kills people (including people they know. whenever Eoin kills an informer she stops talking to him for a little while), but also she thinks (rightly!) that there's a very high chance he dies or is arrested or is transported or is executed or suffers some sort of live changing injury which would take him away from her and complicate both of their lives severely. as such she refuses to get romantically or sexually involved with him until he leaves the gang. Eoin, for his part, takes issue with her taking issue, because he feels like it's a necessity for him to take up arms in defence of the people and also has constructed a whole complex around not being able to be a "good person" and therefore why should he even leave the gang. Mary is conflicted over how the sweet and silly man she loves could also torture people to death. Eoin feels like it's the only way he can protect the woman he's obsessed with. both of them think omfg why can't they understand it from my point of view it's so obvious. etc

The result of the situation is that Eoin kind of resents Mary for refusing to get with him until he leaves his gang and Mary REALLY resents Eoin for refusing to leave the gang and get with her because she really really really wants to sleep with him but is going for the olympic medal in catholic-ly denying herself the pleasures of the flesh until he does what she wants. they love each other more than anything in the world and would both probably kill everyone else and then themselves if the other died but also both think the other is stupid and unreasonable and Just Doesn't Understand. [derry girls voice] "mammy we come as a set" type situation BUT they hate each other's life choices even if they understand them BUT they also both absolutely have said each other's names while in bed with someone else before BUT they disagree fundamentally on probably the most important political issue that impacts their lives BUT if they were cats you couldn't adopt them separately BUT

[toushindai]

Seeing your thoughts on Rauru, I am now curious: how do you approach Ganondorf as a character? How does that compare or contrast with how you think about Rauru?

Thank you for the ask and all your thoughtful comments!! I've really appreciated them.

Approaching Ganondorf has been a different, more conscious process from how I approached Rauru; when I sat down to start brainstorming "A Sense of Entitlement" there was very much a moment where I had to ask myself "well, what am I trying to communicate about Ganondorf here?" I felt like, because I was putting all this mental work into complicating Rauru, I owed it to Ganondorf to complicate him as well, but I don't think the game presents quite as many juicy contradictions in Ganondorf's character. The game doesn't really seem interested in a well-rounded Ganondorf, a Ganondorf who has a point in resisting Hyrule's formation. Which sucks! Thank god we've all invented fanfiction and can do whatever we want forever.

It took me a little while to pin down the exact shape of him, but what I did decide on very early was that he is just deeply unhappy, the way a bottomless pit is unhappy. Nothing can fill him up besides being in control and exerting that control cruelly. Trace that backwards a bit--back further than he is willing to trace it, because there could be weakness at its source--and there is a paranoia, an inability to trust: only force and domination can be trusted to be real, anything else will be toppled when a strong enough force comes along. Any ally who does not fall 100% in line must be brought into line or self-evidently cannot be trusted. And then peel that feeling back a little more and I see alienation and a hideous, howling loneliness. A how-do-you-survive-this loneliness. And that's the feeling I place at his core--though it's well and truly obliterated from his conscious awareness.

I like writing about alienation? Not realizing that you're queer and autistic until you're in your twenties will do that to you, eh. The alienation from his people that I see in Ganondorf I do honestly read as a bit of a queer one, specifically, given that he is the only person in his culture who is going to exist in his gender category for the entire length of his lifespan. I think that has to feel pretty weird! I think it has to feel alienating, even if the form the alienation takes is that of putting him on a pedestal as king (but also, I have to assume--I will take the liberty of assuming--still being suspicious of other voe in a way that would be obviously visible to Ganondorf). In the fic I have him speaking of the Eighth Heroine, and while when I originally wanted that to be something he learned from Twinrova to inspire him to take pride in himself and the people he would one day lead, I uh. I had to nix that idea because the story of the Eighth Heroine doesn't accomplish that. It is not a story that would make a male Gerudo feel welcome among his people OR reassure him of his people's power! (It is frankly a bad story.) So instead it's something he found when he was--as a much younger man--searching for any evidence that a voe might have a place integrated into Gerudo society. The answer he found was "lmao not even if you save our entire ass 😌." He does not like this story. But to acknowledge how rejected it made him feel would be to look at something he believes is weakness, so instead he focuses on his disgust that even the Seven Heroines needed the strength of an outsider to conquer their enemy.

He has no place in his culture but he has an inescapably prescriptive place in his culture. He was raised knowing that he would be king, that everything he desired would be given to him because he is male. It is impossible to say textually what Twinrova wanted for him because they are. easter eggs. and so I just had to make it up: and what I decided was that they wanted him to be a conqueror, to lead the Gerudo and take over the rest of the land (solidified at some point during his lifespan into the kingdom of Hyrule). They wanted him to rule the Gerudo and the Gerudo to rule the world; but when Ganondorf lost his faith in his kinswomen he also lost interest in being an arm of the Gerudo and instead just wanted power for power's sake. I said this in a comment response but if the game is not going to give me a Ganondorf who is resisting Hyrule for the sake of his people--if it is going to give me a Ganondorf who, upon ascension to the form of the Demon King, seemingly abandons his Gerudo soldiers (Gerudo soldiers who were on board with his attacks on Hyrule! COME BACK THAT WAS INTERESTING) to go joyriding with a bunch of monsters and a rather cool horse instead--then I am going to make that a part of the tragedy of his character. It is a tragedy that he is so disconnected from his people. It is an enormous gaping hole inside him, this lack of connection with anyone.

But to acknowledge that, to feel it, would be to feel weak, and he cannot ever allow that. So he converts it all into cruelty and hatred and misery. He looks at people who have allied with each other and judges them weak for loving peace, for joining together instead of tearing each other apart. (In the Japanese, I am told, he explicitly hates the Zonai for accelerating this process.) He looks at any subordinate--or frankly at any other Gerudo--who does not fall in line with his agenda of unflinching conquest and scorns them for disloyalty and softheartedness. He hates whatever he sees and that hatred would be all-consuming if he were not so strong, so deliberately in control of himself. NOT to toot my own horn but I'm damn proud of this sentence:

Each movement is almost a meditation on his rage, fostering a measured alliance with the disgust and hatred he feels.

I think that is how he experiences just about every waking second. He has cut off all his access to happiness that does not come from dominating and taking away the power and happiness of others, and he has walked so far down this path--each step taking him further away from holistic contentment, each step taking him closer to the ability to dominate all he sees--that he could never turn back now.

Urbosa could've fixed him. imo. when he was much younger. (I'm saying this like a joke but I mean it.)

WAit I forgot to get into how he contrasts with Rauru. The thing between them is that both of them want power, want to have power over others; but Rauru hides this from himself because he thinks the desire for power is evil and he wants to think himself good, whereas Ganondorf... I think is probably comfortable thinking of himself as evil, or at least as what others term evil. And his comfort with his desire for power allows him to wield it much more effectively than Rauru does. We've got a bit of a hard power/soft power contrast going on. Ganondorf believes in power and physical force but Rauru's power lies in diplomacy and civility. In the trappings of social niceties. Ganondorf subjects himself to this framework by swearing his false fealty to Hyrule and finds it more ensnaring than he enjoys (he enjoys it zero), but once he has the opportunity to actually act in his own element by seizing Sonia's secret stone, the social niceties are powerless against his brute force.

[mossymandibles]

I have a 2 part question -

So those little baby looking mermaids seemed to be at least partially sentient, does that mean that the mermaids Kraw hunts are either fully or partially sentient?? I mean I understand that the morality of your universe was way different because of the doctor lady and the way those people from the van tried to tag Kraw while he was sleeping, but the implications for the mermaids made me like :0

The whole eat or be eaten thing when almost all creatures can be fully formed people is a very interesting concept and shows how harsh that universe is which is also very interesting to me.

I would also like to know what ISN'T a real thing in that universe. It seems like kind of a free for all in terms of magic/tech/creatures (which is actually my favorite kind of thing because that means there's hardly any limitations in terms of story telling), so I'm really wondering what's a thing that would not exist there. Like are there no aliens or gods, or even something super regular like parrots or something?

(Also sorry I'm very bad at remembering names so I'm sorry that I'm not naming things properly lol)

You’re good!

Well, I had it in my head that some mermaids evolved to be sentient while others are feral and technically aren’t ‘mermaids’ in a sense where they don’t appear very humanoid. Sentient merfolk have their own cultures/societies, which would be completely strange and foreign to those on land. It’s like a whole other world to them. Example is how merfolk all tend to either worship the supposed body that fell into Hellmouth, or they fear that it and the depths will ultimately call to them. Or how they worship the leviathans similar to saints or demigods.

I wanted the ocean to be even more so unknowable than it seems now, just because it’s almost impossible to trek and most islands don’t possess the technology to explore its depths. Most people don’t know about ‘merfolk cultures’ or how they work. There are plenty of weird cults assuming to know though. The Ladder seems to know the most of whats going on, and they’ve cut themselves off from the rest of the world aside from a few information leaks

Like how, even though I show/ talk about the Leviathans on here a lot, most people in Hallowed Carrion have never seen/don’t want to believe they exist, aside from the logs of Ladder Researchers. Seeing one in the modern day is especially rare. They’re usually out in the Hellmouth region which most sailors avoid sailing through. Or they’re curious ones, like the Syrinx.

As for Kraw’s job, he the main guy for taking care of the invasive feral mermaids/ sea creatures in general for Marrowtide, or he preforms ‘catch and release’. Kraw helps control populations, but he’s certainly more ‘sensitive’ to the ethics of hunting mermaids and which ones are just other folks trying to get by. He has his own motto “if it speaks throw it back”. He wasn’t always like that though and he feels guilt over it. He knows his way around them thanks to Mayv and was able to help Marrowtide regain control of their fishing business, as long as they stayed within their means.

Most sentient merms usually know to stay away from the boats if they have traps out, or they stay away from heavily populated islands altogether.

Of course some regions are known to not really give a shit whether merfolk are sentient or not, and usually poach certain rarer merfolk or creatures for organs, oils, scales etc, pretty much how whaling used to be. Kraw can just as easily become a victim of this in some places. Certain Chimereal organs have their uses.

Where I said there were a lot of prejudices against chimereals and where most people don’t know much about them, it would be easy to see someone like Kraw and think he was a dangerous creature if he wasn’t wearing clothes and was dragging a fish up on land on all fours, unfortunately.

As for what can or can’t exist, I don’t really know! Like most of the characters, or people irl today. We could discover anything tomorrow, really.

I’d like to think some regions closer to Hellmouth would be more open to unexplained phenomena happening. Or the regions surrounding the 2nd body would be having certain ‘thinning of the veil’ elements. I don’t really want it to seem like a ‘magical’ place by any means, more like what science can’t or hasn’t explained yet on an earth with new rules of nature so to speak as well as limited means of sharing knowledge. It’s kind of like how in the past the unexplained was accredited to being a miracle from gods or an omen etc. The scary part is when there’s no way to explain it. Examples in Hallowed Carrion is like how some people or places might see Kraw as a ‘demon from the depths’ or a sea monster, unlike Sylvaine who obviously knows he’s just some guy who wants to be a dad.

I’d say there are still regular species of the old world existing, maybe slightly evolved or completely evolved. Some might be rarer than others or completely extinct. Most of the landmasses are islands now so that would effect things obviously.

[lyxthen]

Thinking about the Omegaverse™ not in a kink way but in a worldbuilding way. Like, okay, sure, humans have a different way to reproduce than they do in the real world, right? But then, how did this ability evolve? In an anatomical sense, how do the bodies of omegaverse humans work? When did it evolve? Is it something all mammals do? Is it just a thing in primates? Why did it evolve? In the real world, we seem to be doing just fine with (broadly speaking) two sexes. Is it about, I don't know, genetic diversity? Strengtening social bonds between all members of a group? And in terms of religion, how do different people and cultures explain the existence of alphas, betas and omegas? What social constructs did humans build when they exist outside of our gender binary? What sorts of rituals and practices are associated with them? Are behavioural difference between sexes actually a result of their biology or are they socially constructed? To what degree? Is anyone going to ask these questions? Because it could be a genuinely interesting worldbuilding exercise, but since most people are here for the porn you don't actually get to see that developed. Not that porn is a bad thing, but come on. You could be talking about history! Geopolitics! Who cares about the sex in sex, what is interesting is everything we humans associate culturally with it! Are we so up our own asses that we are not going to question our own gender expectations, even in fiction? With how the omegaverse works you might as well be writing about an alien species. You can't just entirely change one of the fundamental tenants of our society and expect things to remain the same. WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS. Go read The Left Hand of Darkness byt Ursula K. Le Guin and when you are done with it, you can come back and write omegaverse fiction. Go read about sex in and white-throated sparrows and eusocial insects. If you're going to make it weird then make it weird. God, I'm going to end up writing an omegaverse worldbuilding bible one of these days because this shit is genuinely interesting to me.

[thebibliomancer]

Universe X #6

Feat. I’m sorry but the worst Moon Knight look. Also, Sasquatch and the head and crotch of Guardian.

That’s why Moon Knight is firmly looking the other way.

To quickly recap the insanity so far: Mar-Vell is leading a revolution in the afterlife. To help this goal, his living child self is gathering powerful items on Earth. Captain America was traveling with him as his bodyguard but Cap super died. So now a bunch of other heroes like force femmed Thor, gorilla Hulk, child Banner, Spider-Man’s daughter Venom, and Mr Summers and his circus X-Men.

If any of those descriptors are confusing, I’m sorry, Earth/Universe X be like that.

Immortus is Pope now and he wants the terrigen mutated population of Earth to spread out and colonize the hell out of space. But first, he’d like Reed Richards to stop trying to cure everyone with his Human Torch towers.

A secret society called the Tong of Creel is gathering the pieces of Absorbing Man to resurrect him. They’ve been really successful at stealing several pieces underneath the noses of the superheroes.

Meanwhile, up on the Moon, Aaron Stack, Machine Man, is the new Watcher. He spends his time wondering why the multiverse and talking to Uatu, who constantly hurls abuse.

Also, Earth is tilted on its axis because Galactus slurped a baby Celestial out of the planet so everyone is going to freeze. You’d think this would be a bigger deal but nobody seems very concerned.

Universe X!

Today’s first Mar-Vell scavenger hunt stop is to Egypt, to retrieve the Resurrection Stone.

The Resurrection Stone is a fairly obscure item in the 616 with only a handful of appearances. So I don’t know if it’s meant to be the same one they’re talking about here. Because the one Mar-Vell is after is the statue of Khonshu.

Time for another weird Earth X Arc Welding!

Moon Knight and therefore Khonshu are relevant to today’s issue. So how does Khonshu work in the Earth X setting? Is he like the Asgardians? Sufficiently advanced aliens that have been gaslit into thinking they’re gods?

No, even weirder.

Khonshu is the Resurrection Stone. Which happens to have been carved from a meteor that hit Egypt. A meteor like the one that hit Wakanda and Antarctica. Khonshu is Egyptian Vibranium. And instead of melting metal or absorbing vibrations, Egyptian vibranium prevents you from dying and makes you hallucinate god.

… Sure, why not! Might as well be this!

When Lil Mar-Vell and co arrive in Egypt, Moon Knight is locked in eternal and pointless combat with a bunch of ancient Egyptian priests and temple guards, also immortal thanks to the stone.

Marv’s group throws their weight on Moon Knight’s side and fight so Mar-Vell can get to the temple and cloakaport the stone away.

Allowing Marc to finally die.

In one sense, putting him out of his misery. But since death is just being thrown back into eternal battle, I wonder if it’s much of a relief?

It at least puts him out of my misery, sartorially speaking, because when he shows up in the Realm of Death, it’s in a color-inverted version of his more classic outfit.

Looks pretty spiffy.

Mar-Vell and the gang return to Japan and Lord Sonfire gives them the Mandarin’s rings on the Mandarin’s chopped off hands.

I love how grossed out Mar-Vell looks. But he’s too chosen child of destiny to verbalize it. So, thanks, Venom. For saying what everyone was thinking.

Meanwhile, everything else is bad.

Nighthawk reveals he knows Gargoyle has betrayed him, leaking his prophecies to Mr Church in Immortus’ camp.

Gargoyle doesn’t see the problem with what he did but Nighthawk says that information is not only going to help Immortus’ mobs but also how the Tong of Creel knew when to attack and where to find the pieces of Absorbing Man. It’s been hinted a while that they had inside information and it turns out they’ve been reading the running narration.

In fact, the Canadian Human Torch has fallen, leaving Sasquatch and Guardian’s head the only survivors of Alpha Flight.

And while fleeing the slaughter, the two run into a feral tribe of Wolverines???? Universe X, what the hell?

But the Latverian Human Torch is also under siege. Thanks to Gargoyle’s information, Immortus’ mob knew when defenses would be thin with Thing off elsewhere. The mobs are breaking down the door to kill Richards and co. The Tong stole the head of Creel. And Mr Church sneaks past the Doombots to steal Doom’s time platform.

Mr Church. What an odd ominous one. Aaron’s end of issue appendix has him muse that there’s no information in the Watcher’s systems for the guy before he showed up to join Immortus.

He’s probably definitely Mephisto.

When Immortus starts losing it because he’s locked out of Limbo and mutating, he turns leadership of the mobs over to Mr Church.

Also, the Micronauts are spying on Immortus for some reason?

Meanwhile, on the Moon, Aaron drags the Kree Supreme Intelligence to the Watcher’s house.

Aaron wants the Intelligence to explain the multiverse to him but the Intelligence says Mar-Vell is on his way to kill him and Aaron will need to stop that or else bad things might happen to the multiverse.

I don’t know about kill but Dead Mar-Vell has lately been preoccupied that there are no Kree in the Realm of Death and decided his living self will need to talk to the Supreme Intelligence about it.

So if the Supreme Intelligence thinks Mar-Vell is going to kill him about it, I think maybe he knows Marv won’t like the answers.

So a lot going on. A lot and a lot of it weird.

I didn’t even mention the demon man in the colorful shorts.

Because I don’t know what it means yet.

Next time, the next issue.

[tunashei]

First Impressions of Animorphs!

I'm listening to the Animorphs series while I work, through Animorphs Aloud - a fan made reading of the series. Here are my first impressions/random thoughts about them! Spoilers below if you haven't read them.

Book 12.5: The Andalite Chronicles (Part 2)

Oh no...the second they mentioned that Alloran and Arbron were last seen as Taxxons but it'd been over the two hour morph limit...one of them is gonna be stuck as a Taxxon, aren't they?

Sensible plan Elfangor, good choices

Arbron definitely ate that guy. Also this voice acting is very good, Arbron sounds gloomy and a little hysterical

Man I wish human larval forms could be set to work cleaning and doing menial chores, instead of just lying there and screaming. And then they'd cocoon and transform into fully functional adults instead of going through the awkward teenager stage

Ah fuck...totally called it. Arbron is a Taxxon forever now. That SUCKS man, I quite liked him. At least Tobias is stuck as something pretty cool, being a Taxxon seems like hell

As someone who is completely incapable of estimating speeds, three thousand miles per hour sounds totally believable

Arbron is so cool. Under the most intense pressure, life irrevocably changed for the worse, in a unfamiliar body and he STILL nails the shot. Three times

Oh yeah they could totally use the Time Matrix to fix Arbron

Elfangor please do not cut off your friends limbs he can no longer get those back by demorphing (what is it with Andalites and severing limbs??)

Hadn't considered before that if Andalites eat with their feet they must also taste with their feet. It's a good thing Ax has never been in andalite form walking around a typical human city...though he did eat cigarettes once so maybe he'd like it

Do andalite eyestalks have eyelids?

Elfangor you have the most powerful weapon in the universe on a hostile planet, your commander is missing, your friend is missing presumed dead, your alien crush is kidnapped and in peril, and any moment the Yeerks could find your crashed ship. Why are you reading a picture book

Oh my god is he going to drive the car

HELL FUCKIN YEAH ANDALITE DRIVING A MUSTANG

Oh ok Arbron can regrow limbs. Convenient. I'm glad he's found a purpose too, having an Andalite in control of a bunch of Taxxons could be pretty powerful

Alloran is back! I didn't think he'd vanish completely but him appearing as a Hork-Bajir genuinely surprised me

Woooow...I mean kind to give him the warrior title, Arbron totally deserves it, but *casualty of war?* That's harsh. I wonder how often this happens, Andalites getting trapped in morph while fighting in the war and then being discarded because accommodating them would be inconvenient. Or because having them be visible in society might make their military look bad.

Alloran what is the matter with you the MOST POWERFUL WEAPON IN THE UNIVERSE is just lying unattended in some desert and you're hung up on these insignificant Yeerks whose deaths would barely make a dent in the war. You have issues man

Bye bye visser three/sub visser seven I'm sure that was definitely you that fell out of the ship you're not currently in Chapmans head

War crimes! Woooooo!

Well, at least he realised before he got ambushed? And got the upper hand with some good shooting. Too bad you left Alloran to be infested. I was hoping we'd get to find out how Visser Three got his Andalite so pleased we got to see that

Ahaha this is devious I love it. Make him run. Make him DANCE. Those Hork-Bajir must have shit themselves when they realised they were shooting at their own visser

'You up for a little genocide, Elfangor?' Top 10 Animorphs Quotes

These living asteroids are weird, struggling to visualise them. Set em on the Yeerks

FUCKIN CHAPMAN. Should have put him in a cupboard or something. Deserved that nut shot

Dramatic end to this part! Intense action

[cookiekitkat8484]

dipper hcs

This is super long, like 2000 words super long because i have a huge hyperfixation and cringe culture is dead. he reminds me of me and my friends/family so i have a million ideas. split into topics for reading convenience

low 20s, autistic, bi + demi with a preference for women, ftm. I totally understand people disliking ftm dipper because of stan and mabel making fun of his masculinity and it would be shitty in canon but this is my post so i make the rules bitch and am pretending that never happened. None of this is ship stuff. I imagine him to basically look like the lovley art in this post.  

shares an apartment with mabel in portland, completely full of nerd memorabilia, stacks of boardgames, mabels diys, a conspiracy corkboard, and arts & crafts materials 

works in a bar/arcade where wendy bartends, calls soos and fidds when he needs help fixing machines

pet ferret called pippin

started his own journal 

pacificas plus one to her prissy rich person events, sit in the corner and shit talk

carries around fidget toys, was too embarrassed till mabel convinced him (partially because his pens kept exploding everywhere)

has protective runes tattooed 

mabel talks about astrology to be annoying, is baited into getting mad and rambling about how modern astrology is fake and a scam every single time

nervous driver, doesnt have a car but is sometimes driven by mabel in her heavily adorned funmobile; worries about her "enthusiastic" driving

helps mabel dye her hair after a three am hair emergency, got really good and started bleaching pacificas till she decided to chop it and grow it out natural (refused money from her parents after moving out), which used to be the ultimate gossip sessions

joint problems and pain, god awful posture

one sided beef with all of mabels partners till they “prove themselves”

doesnt believe in cooking like he (mainly) used to not believe in laundry

punched someone for making fun of mabel, got beat up so mabel kicked their asses (thank you stan and wendy for her "training")

only social media is reddit, an instagram account made and run by pacifica, youtube, and a tumblr on nerd/mystery stuff 

only has tumblr bc candy convinced him in like 2014 then he succumbed to the brain rott, they're mutuals and make weird references no one else gets, personalises blog extensively via html/css, had a brief superwholock phase in 2015 (fight me)

coded mabels laptop into a custom 2000s esc blinged out hellscape she made in graphic design class, got her rgb stuff bc she likes rainbows and he thinks its funny

occasionally clashes with mabel bc shes sensory seeking and he gets sensory overload

pacifica takes him clothes shopping bc otherwise he will literally never buy new clothes, sometimes go thrifting with mabel the thrift god

mildly dyslexic and in denial

needs glasses but usually wears contacts because he finds them annoying then forgets to take them out

wears glasses when he misses the grunkles

Sugar addict like mabel and their pantry shows it 

Best nerd shirt collection, like, that's all he wears

Gets into online arguments way too much for no reason 

Mabel makes like ten different protective friendship bracelets with unicorn hair so he could have options, just wears all of them at once

uni

journalism major with a minor in computer science 

takes history, pure maths, and film units as electives 

member/helps run the clubs for DnD [DD&MD], MTG, Warhammer, and scifi & fantasy appreciation

founder and president of the uni cryptozoology, supernatural, aliens, and occult society (CSACS)

gets ford to proof read his writing/math and fidds his code

attends lectures for units hes not even enrolled in for fun

has gotten into multiple arguments with professors, including ones that dont even teach him 

has read theory (all people who’ve read theory are annoying including myself)

hobbies

goes to cons with mabel, she helps with (/mainly makes for him) matching cosplays to fill the trick or treating void

once met spock and kirks actors and got so excited he passed out so mabel took pics of him on the floor next to them and she thinks its the funniest thing to ever exist

DMs multiple online DnD [DD&MD] and ttrpgs groups, 3.5e truther

competes in MTG tournaments 

does karaoke night with mabel and the gals atleast once a month, sometimes brings pacifica 

goes to the renaissance fair with the squad where him, mabel, ford, and soos all dress up and get super into character with melony; wendy and stan take shrooms and go to watch the sword fighting 

listens to DnD podcasts 

ex band kid and still plays Sousaphone, often to mabels dismay 

obsessed with boardgames and hosts boardgame nights, always makes everyone play super overcomplicated ones then has to play monopoly when its stan and mabels choice

almost always wins boardgames and knows how every mechanic works, has only occasionally lost to ford (who is a sore loser lol)

has had risk games last multiple days after its only him and ford left

bonds with mabel and soos painting figures (warhammer, dnd, the usual) and embraces her covering hers in glitter and gems

goes ghost hunting, has a shit tone of real gear from ford and fidds and sometimes vlogs, quotes buzzfeed unsolved

secret AO3 account, caught grunkle stan writing dutches approves fics but both have sworn an oath of secrecy 

wendy taught him skateboarding, doesnt do tricks (uncoordinated as shit) but uses it as transport

broke bc he cant resist collectables 

made his own pc from scratch using parts he bought and custom ones made by fidds

goes to local band concerts with wendy and her gang including watching wendy play drums

Did debate in highschool, usually gets nervous doing public speaking but gets so invested he forgets; is second speaker

tech guy for productions mabel is in

games 

loves all strategy and puzzle games

fav games include fallout 1&2, nethack, xcom, civ, FTL, and dwarf fortress

ford and fidds play games they used to play before the portal accident with him eg. zork, MUD1, rouge, star trek, colossal cave adventure, and mystery house

plays portal 2 with ford and sometimes mabel

plays baldurs gate with mabel and she spent five hours doing character customisation, he plays wizard and she plays bard and both are total stereotypes

played lethal company and phasmophobia with mabel, soos, wendy, grenda, and candy (goes as expected) (lots of screaming)

BDG unravelled fan and grew up on matpat but cant play fnaf or ddlc bc giffany 

had a breakdown playing dark souls and started crying at 2am so mabel banned it permanently

spectacularly bad at rhythm games but will play with mabel anyway and she completely sweeps, esp in arcades and just dance

plays bishi bashi with the gang and have broken the machine multiple times

really good at retro arcade games, shares strats with soos and remembers all the combos for everything; helps kids beat levels at work

gets ford to help optimise game stats/teams/strats with the POWER OF MATHS !!!, has on occasion coded algorithms to assist 

forced everyone to play among us constantly for like three months straight

member of mabel, candy, and grendas chaotic nightmare of a minecraft server, usually offline and generally regrets it when he joins; more of a terraria guy

undertale kid

ports/emulates games himself, esp retro console stuff like old fire emblem, Zelda, earthbound

in the ace attorney fandom  

runs a server for online friends he plays games with

shows/movies

does annual lotr (extended edition) marathons with ford, mabel drifts in and out of watching because snacks and that legolas and arwin are both a “total smash” (elf apreciator)

loves all scifi, including classics like star trek, star wars, ext.

watches doctor who with mabel (shes a david tennant enjoyer) including the super old stuff, replies with one of the classic who doctors when people ask his fav and confuse them 

goes to old scifi/horror/fantasy rerun marathons, wendy joins depending on the films

watches scifi and mecha anime with soos and fidds, sometimes ford joins

loves evangelion, knows cruel angels thesis in japanese, lowkey a shinji kinnie and is bullied ruthlessly 

watches candys exquisite curation of 90s shoujo with her, mabel, and grenda; wont admit he gets super into it but has been caught doing sailor moon magical girl transformation poses 

watched madoka magica with the gals and was kuybey hater #1 from the start

never shuts the fuck up about theories and guesses the end of movies unless mabel smothers him with a pillow

hate watches conspiracy theory/ghost hunting shows with wendy bc theyre either laughably wrong or so close and totally missing the obvious, except this one random guy who was somehow spot on (like doug forcett in the good place) 

Made to watch all of twilight at a girls night because mabel (mostly) watched lotr, cant stop overthinking the insane lore implications which somehow get worse with every book fact mabel tells him (because what the fuck ???? the world building is batshit), him and candy keep periodically saying effervescent and bursting into hysterics to the others confusion

still quotes star wars bad lip readings with mabel

books

favs include hitchikers guide to the galaxy, discworld, lotr, do androids dream of electric sheep, earthsea, dune, and HP lovecraft esp cuthullu 

him and ford have both read the salmirilion and make it everyones problem

likes classic scifi and early cyberpunk, esp spec fic thats wacky or raises ethical questions to ponder with ford

loves sherlock homes and agatha christie, big who dunnit story fan

read good omens bc mabel likes the show (again, david tennant enjoyer) and its terry pratchet + neil gaiman, tries to get her to read the book for ages and eventually she listens to the audiobook

music

owns spirit phone on vinyl, made ford listen once and accidentally gave him flashbacks

likes lemon demon, TWERP, starbomb, NSP, tally hall, will wood, and other nerd bands 

they might be giants and potusa enjoyer

can and will recite the entirety of the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny at the drop of a hat

went through a midwest emo phase, still listens to csh

listens to vocaloid with candy; went to a concert with the gals and everyone learnt the dances, mabel decorated their light sticks 

always ends up belting [B]ABBA when drunk

Fav [B]ABBA songs are disco girl and under attack 

weezer defender, bullied by mabel and wendy

listens to math rock with ford while stan complains the time signatures and polyrhythms (though he’d never bother to learn the terms) give him a headache 

listens to game OSTs and chiptune stuff

mabel got him into musicals, knows the words to hamilton, bmc, and dear evan hansen, sing duets together

trans 

once forgot to take off a too small binder for like two days and fainted, mabel made him a custom one

short king, used to have hight dysphoria

mabel alters his pants bc mens trousers are evil for the transmasc gang

didnt shave ever when he first got his wiskers till pacifica staged an intervention 

forgot to tell stan he was trans till he got body hair and stan joked it was his genetics to thank, dipper responded he was lucky the T was actually effective

drinking/drugs

cant smoke weed or he gets suuuuper paranoid, only smoked once w wendy and tried to smoke more to calm down but just ended up greening hard

drinks alcoholic ginger beer and indie APIs wendy recommends, though shes more of a whisky and scotch

super low alcohol tolerance, doesnt drink often

drinks mabels own recipe cocktail monstrosities when she convinces him they wont get shitfaced, always ends up shitfaced because theyre 100% alcohol + sugar and mabels tolerance is like double his; always eventually ends with him trying to explain lotr poorly

once drank so much caffeine he started hallucinating 

tripsits mabel (LSD legend) and sometimes wendy (totally does shrooms), again is neurotic and should under no circumstances take hallucinogens 

sometimes smokes cigs when stressed, tries to hide it but is laughably bad, will ocasionally bum a cig off wendy

[vidumavi]

Who of the married into Gondorian nobility trinity worked the best? Seems like there could be multiple answers here.

I think it really depends on how you define “worked best”! The reason I lumped Mithrellas, Berúthiel and Vidumavi into one category in my head is that to me, their stories (or how I think about their stories because lbr, the canon information is sparse here) all involve a strong sense of alienation and othering from the culture they’ve married into.

Vidumavi was probably the happiest with her life- she married her husband out of love, there are no hints that she did not have a loving marriage and a good relationship with her son and she died before the civil war started and her grandson was murdered. Still, she left her home behind to become Queen of a country whose nobility- including her husband’s relatives- considered her racially inferior, and no matter how happy she was with her family, that grief and anger and worry for her children and grandchildren would have probably followed her her whole life. But she did ultimately have a choice in coming to Gondor, which doesn’t seem true for Berúthiel, whose marriage was likely political and who despised her husband (both Vidumavi and Berúthiel have to change their names to Sindarin, though, an interesting parallel of having to give up parts of their identity).

(Most mentions of Berúthiel that we get have a sense of historical mythmaking and dramatization about them and I tend to read them as a wild, one-dimensional exaggeration by people who did not understand her at all. She should get to do a little bit of dark magic and cat-communing, though. As a treat)

Berúthiel was probably ostracized and treated as cruelly as Vidumavi, it’s just not mentioned because her entire role is to be a semi-legendary villain (and to be a vehicle for Jirts weird hatred of cats. Booo.). Her stint as Queen of Gondor ends with her husband possibly attempting to murder (??) her and like 20 years (?) later Gondor conquers her home, so whatever diplomacy might have been attempted by her family in marrying her off to Tarannon was probably no success. She gets one good hit in, though, by refusing her husband heirs (possibly through cat magic, we don’t know. this is one of those “Jirt scrabbled it onto the back of a receipt and it’s illegible to human eyes” drafts). And I suppose if “traumatize the population of Gondor so much that they whisper her name thousands of years later” was something she would have considered a victory (based if true), she won that one too.

Mithrellas is the odd one out here, mostly because we know so little about her and because she didn’t really have an impact on geopolitics, but I’ve always found it hard to believe that her marriage to Imrazor was a happy one. People who vanish into the night alone immediately after giving birth never to be seen again are probably not in a very good situation, though I go back and forth on how consensual the marriage was in the first place. She was entirely alone, lost in a strange country and had just lost all her companions when he found her and I think it would have been very easy for him to take advantage of her in that situation, even if she agreed to marry him of her own free will (I’m having thoughts about her and Berúthiel both rejecting motherhood in some way, but god help me this post is already long enough).

I love rolling these three around in my head and looking at parallels and juxtapositions between them. All three of them are in fraught positions with limited power despite their status, considered Other, all three are, in a sense, alone. I think Vidumavi “works” best, because she actually has a family around that loves her- she's the only one, I think, who wouldn't change much about her life if she looked back at the end of it- but of course the society around her is so bigoted that what should have been simply a marriage makes someone start a civil war that permanently destabilizes the kingdom.

[starry-skies-116]

Man. Just. I have so many ideas for Jack in this alternate version of TFP.

He's obsessed with fantasy and comic books. He's a kid who was always too weird (in other words, neurodivergent) to fit in among his peers. He's a troublemaker without meaning to be- his creativity and enthusiasm always gets him into trouble despite the fact that he doesn't mean any of it.

Jack's teachers and peers didn't accept him- no, they only reacted by punishing and belittling him constantly for the smallest of mistakes, whether they caused harm to anybody or not. He's kind and intelligent, bubbly and passionate, spunky and brave- but nobody sees that. All they see is a weirdo- and humans don't like to accept anything weird or "different."

That's all he's ever known- rejection and disappointment.

By the time the events of the series begin, he's fundamentally unhappy with his life. His mother is working incredibly hard to support their family, and he feels like nothing but a burden on her for making her worry- for "messing up" at every turn. And he retreats into fantasy as a way to cope. He reads comic books, daydreams worlds where he's the chosen one much like the protagonists of those stories. He dreams of a world where he's special- where he's loved.

And then he gets his wish via a freak accident in which the AllSpark essentially grafts itself inside of him.

He's not scared when he meets the Autobots. He doesn't react with apprehension or shock. No- instead he reacts with glee. He responds with pure euphoria at the prospect of risking his life just to live out his fantasies. He'd rather run off to war than to live an ordinary life. And that's so incredibly messed up: because here we have this young man, feeling like an alien amidst his own people- on his own planet- meeting actual aliens, and he feels more at home with them than he ever did in human society.

My god- I'd wonder how they'd all react.

[beepofsleeplessdreams]

thinking out loud about some anime an illustrator i like worked on

so, one of my favorite illustrators (at least, I think that's the right term for him) is yoshitoshi ABe. recently i made the decision to look through a bunch of projects he had a hand in, mostly because i wanted to see what kind of stuff he'd attached himself to over the decades. prior to this i'd only seen Serial Experiments Lain, but i feel like basically everyone's seen that so that's not saying much lol. this was partially spurred on by a friend of mine telling me Texhnolyze was among their favorites. at time of writing, i've finished Texhnolyze and NieA_7, and i'm watching Haibane Renmei on-and-off and loving it. the world is bizarre and beautiful, and the character designs are lovely and have so much personality in my eyes. so that's where i started. so below is a series of rambles and thoughts i've had on this little journey of mine up to this point. i've still got a ways to go.

misc. spoilers for Texhnolyze in the next section

texhnolyze was a show i really enjoyed, but falls into the same pit as serial experiments lain in my brain. i struggle to understand what it's trying to say below the immediate surface and i end up primarily enjoying it as a surface-level product. not to say that i didn't make some connections in my head along the ride, i have so many questions about the world that i want answered, and some really fun observations I made. ichise's conversation with the voice in the chair was something that i had a lot of fun picking apart because it tickled that little goblin in my brain that loves social science. with the whole idea that height relates to authority, the pile of stones bringing images of gods on mountains in myth, but the chair tying all that powerful imagery up in this idea of boredom. apathy of the gods and all that. the entire trip to the surface is something that had me on the edge of the seat, and kinda tied into my greater sci-fi brainrot. that whole idea that one a society stagnates and rots people seek "better times", and this is how you end up with so many space prussians/germans being bad guys in older sci-fi anime like classic gundam and legend of the galactic heroes. it's people clinging to an idea of a """better time""" to larp that they're better than they are. this is what was going through my head during the arc of the story on the surface, whenever i saw that outdated technology that lives only in old b&w movies and period pieces. despite these obversations, i feel like i can't formulate a big picture, this is by no means bad, but i can't help but feel like i'm "missing something". though, this might be rectified in lain's case when i get around to it, it's been close to 10 years since i last watched it.

misc. spoilers for NieA_7

this is one that i don't think i ever heard someone talk about prior to me just plucking it off of ABe's wikipedia page. it's this weird slice-of-life comedy about living in poverty but there's also humanoid aliens that are kinda just around and comically failing to integrate into society. that whole second point, with the aliens, i feel it kinda detracts from a lot from the show's actually really simple and touching heart about just trying to escape being poor. the whole thing is kinda tainted with this mild xenophobia for the sake of "comedy" and the vast majority of the recurring aliens are these really mean-spirited racist stereotypes. eventually i came to ignore the vast majority of that aspect of the show, besides the titular NieA, and focus on the part of it that really spoke to me. the main character, Mayuko, is a young adult working 3 jobs on top of going to cram school in a desperate attempt to get into a good college and escape poverty by getting a """real job""" and a """future""". the reason why i use quotations is the same reason why her character really spoke to me. she was so focused on the mere act of survival and vaguely working towards the future that she never found the time to really think about the future. no plans, no dreams, inching towards a success she has no idea how to capitalize upon. something similar happened to me, personally. i spent the vast majority of highschool and college fighting for good grades and accolades with no other plan than to just get away from a very toxic family situation. and i succeeded. i gave up a social life for the sake of advancing and was rewarded by getting poached right out of college into a fairly comfortable. i moved out 6 months later and subsequently broke down. without that constant pressure of ESCAPE ESCAPE ESCAPE i had this sort of psychological explosive decompression and became incredibly depressed, and almost made some very poor and very permanent decisions. i saw a character that was flying towards the same mistakes i made and i was wondering all along if the show would propose some kind of "solution" that i'd failed to see. it didn't offer anything concrete, but something much simpler that i nontheless really appreciated. a loving promise that things will be okay somewhere, someday. the same sentiment helped me when i needed it. i get that that's corny as hell, but i'm a stupid mushy man-thing. it's a show i really recommend people look at, because while the lows are INCREDIBLY low and mean, the heart is there and beautiful.