#this is just a stream of consciousness thought

[igbylicious]

anyway whatever you do don't imagine you and yunho showering together, foggy heat rising up in the bathroom as wet tendrils of his hair stick to his face, rivulets streaming down his neck to his torso down, down, down. it's sweet, it's intimate, he's running his long fingers up and down your arms as you rub a loofah over the smooth expanse of his chest, until your attention wanders as tiny bubbles of soap make a pattern around those little moles on his chest — and yunho realises you're not exactly focused on getting clean anymore

and since yunho is yunho, he gasps in faux-affront and covers himself up with soap-sudded arms, teasing you for what a pervert you are, ogling him like that! and you whap him on the chest with the loofah, rolling your eyes but your heart bursting with adoration for this infuriating, beautiful goof of a man who stole your heart at first joke. tell him he can clean himself if he doesn't want to be ogled, but you can barely make a move out the shower before those big hands grab at your waist, long fingers digging into skin, and you gasp as your back meets the cold tiles, your front meeting the heat of yunho's body, crowding into yours

"you can ogle all you like," he whispers in your ear, barely audible over the clattering of water. "that's just not all i'd like us to do"

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Some new fandom/fanfiction writing thoughts from me...

Author's Note:

This is just some thoughts I needed to get out because they kept me from finishing my Vampire!Terry Richmond Fic and forced me to start writing my "Sinners" fic I hadn't planned on dropping until April, but my spirit was moved to write by some aspects of the media hype of the "Sinners" new movie trailer release. It's stream of consciousness straight from the hip for Black History Month, so let ya girl cook!

Who remembers this movie?

Do you remember this dynamic duo? (Yes Dr. Karen Jenson!)

Do you remember what happened to most of the "Blade" fanfictions in that fandom as the series progressed (even into television)... and who got centered instead of Blade/Karen Jenson?

Blade essentially became a secondary character in his own franchise. He stopped knowing other Black folks, too. Even the writer of the original franchise David S. Goyer confessed that the studio wanted Blade to be white from jump.

Bitch...whut?

Others have written of this before with the Blade franchise. I personally have lamented the missed opportunity to expand the role of the sexy, beautiful, dark-skinned genius hematologist, Dr. Karen Jenson, played by the gorgeous and talented N'Bushe Wright. Who is still fine just so you know:

The de-centering of Black characters from their own leading roles in fandom is nothing new. Y'all remember this oldey but goodey?:

Remember how they did our girl Abbie Mills (played by the lovely and fabulous actress, Nicole Beharie)? She was the heart of the show with great chemistry between her and Ichabod (Tom Milson). But the Sleepy Hollow Showrunners started centering this heaux:

They even brought in Ichie and Katrina's old ass son Henry Parrish/Jeremy Crane:

Baybee, me and a ton of other Black women were OVER the sidelining of Abbie Mills. Don't even get me started on how they did baby girl by writing her off her own show. Soon it was looking like this:

Chile when I tell y'all Black women rode in like the Sin Eaters on that show and burned that bitch to the ground! No Abbie Mills? No more Nicole Beharie? Alright, bet. Nan one of you hoes is working then. The industry treated Nicole so bad after that show. She was blacklisted and experienced a hostile work environment with that American flavored soup du jour: racism. A recent book, "Burn It Down: Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood", broke down all the horrors Nicole Beharie went through bts.

Here was a show that gained popularity because of BLACK WOMEN. We started the weekly Tweet storms, chatted to each other, wrote fics, did panels about it at fandom conferences (I spoke on some and attended a few myself about the TV series). It was a sexy multicultural cast, a literal crack fic come to life that first season.

But then...the centering of whiteness rears its ugly head and ruins nice things.

Which brings me to the new "Sinners" movie trailer release, and my fears at seeing a lot of the media hype online (thumbnail photos, clips etc) pushing Hailee Stenfield a lot more than Michael B. Jordan (in a double role as twins!) or even the other Black women characters in the trailer.

They got Wunmi Mosaku in this bitch with Jayme Lawson.

You know Wunmi, right?

Marvel Wunmi in the Loki TV Series:

Lovecraft Country Wunmi:

Wunmi with Idris in "Luther" Season 5:

Then there's the exquisite Jayme Lawson from "MLK/X: Genius" with our new fic king at the moment, Aaron Pierre. He plays Malcolm X and she is Dr. Betty Shabazz:

Jayme playing the Queen in "The Woman King":

Jayme as the mayor in "The Batman" (she could be our next Angela Bassett with her acting range and beauty!):

Now, about that elephant in the room for me personally.

Hailee Steinfeld and Jack O'Connell.

Their images are everywhere, often more so than images of the star Michael B. Jordan. Twitter (I will never call it X), Threads, Bluesky, YouTube, TikTok et al, have them hyped up to the point where I'm worried that it will turn into a Blade situation. The white characters overshadowing the central Black one.

Of course, they're playing the vampires. The bad guys. The ones we want to see the Black people vanquish. Some bad guys are sexy if we're being honest (cough--Killmonger--cough). Life in Clarksdale, Mississippi, the birthplace of the Blues, is tough enough with racism, lynchings, prohibition...just white people nonsense in general, let alone white vampires. A horror movie has to have compelling antagonists to keep our interests. But again, the overshadowing of Michael in some places...

On IMDB, Hailee is listed first as the star, then comes Jack O'Connell, and then Michael B. Jordan. Y'all, the two white actors are listed first BEFORE Michael is. I don't care if Hailee was nominated for an Oscar at fourteen. (Black people should know by now the Oscars are highschool popularity contests for white people, and every now and then they throw a bone at negroes who act circles around them on any given day.)

How is Wallace Vince Killmonger Adonis Creed John Clark (aka Muffin to me), listed third in his own goddamn movie? Maybe this will change when the movie comes out, but...excuse me?

Give me a minute. I need to sip some tea to calm down.

I barely see Wunmi in online hype, and she has been in some pretty high profile roles the last few years, especially in superhero action projects. And it looks like she plays a Hoodoo practioner (like myself). I want to see more of her promoted too. Like why can't I see a photo of this on more fandom websites?

That question was rhetorical. We all know why.

The centering of whiteness even in Black spaces.

I already know the fanfiction that will be churned out soon by non-Black people. Shippings of Mary/Remmick (Steinfeld and O'Connell's characters in the movie). There will be the I/R shipping of Mary and Stack (Steinfeld and Jordan) because the ads are playing up their sexy juke joint dance everywhere. I'm beginning to get a sense of deja vu...a la Blade/Sleepy Hollow decentering vibes.

The trailer all but gave away most of the plot in terms of what the Black characters will be up against during Prohibition Mississippi. Moonshine and Monsters, with sprinklings of Black American Blues music, both real history and the myths of it with Robert Johnson/Crossroads energy. And clearly Mary, who starts off as human, will get turned into a vampire like Remmick...and then run off to dance with hot, sweaty negroes tryna have their own goddamn fun away from white racism and the dangers of white women turning into the o.g. Karen's of their day. Smh. Can't have nothing without white characters slithering in and causing chaos as usual, lol! (I'm looking at you Agent Ross in the Black Panther fandom, you dirty C.I.A. infiltrator!) Plus there's always some dumb Black man willing to risk it all for unseasoned coochie putting every other Black person in his community in danger.

I mean, even in real life, Black people can't even access DEI opportunities without white women taking all the spots. Now I gotta watch DEI Mary-the-vampire mess up Black people's good times? The horror!

Now I'm just fussing. America recently voted the orange racist/fascist menace back into the white house, and he brought his incompetent white people and their Pee-oh-See lackeys. (One day we have to have a conversation about why so many Indians from India in this country-- and their children-- side with white racism and use anti-Blackness to move ahead in America.) I'm a little salty with white folks right now, not gonna lie. We saw those voting exit polls where only Black women and Black men overwhelmingly voted for the correct side of history to try and stop the Magats by any means necessary with the little we had to work with. Forgive me if I'm grumbling and projecting this onto a fictional movie. Two beautiful dark-skinned women are also love interests in the film (based on the trailer), but I can't find them promoted as much as the white vampires? I don't like it.

Listen, I used to do screenwriting. I helped friends make short films for festivals. I also screened films to help choose projects for the L.A. Film Festival when that was still a thing when I was a member of Film Independent. I've done screenwriting fellowships, too. I understand film marketing, and the work it takes trying to get the largest audience possible to see a movie by pushing the big names or face draws to a project.

But...

I want Black things centered in "Sinners". In the long run it will be, because...Ryan Coogler is that dude.

I want this rambling lament to be a call to other Black fic writers who plan on seeing the film to write your asses off after you see it, and even before you see it based off the trailer. I want hundreds, if not thousands of "Sinners" fics stretching out the worldbuilding we'll soon see on the screen. Heck, I already have a prequel fic started that I want to post in the next few days once I finish it. @nahimjustfeelingit-writes has one out already, and I saw a couple more by other writers floating down my TL.

I want Smoke and Stack and their world steeped in Blackness so that they won't be isolated or damn near relegated to a corner like Blade or Abbie Mills was among their world of supernatural shenanigans by the end of their onscreen run.

I hope we write so much that no one would dare try to push these other Black characters aside. There's so much richness to work with: the Blues guitar singer (who has a fucking banjo inside the core of his magical guitar!), the Hoodoo woman, the Black sexy female love interest that Jayme plays, Delroy Lindo's piano player and his Native wife (I'm guessing), and even the Asian woman (probably descended from the Chinese railroad workers in Mississippi) . We need all the fics telling so many stories in this "Sinners" world.

Granted, fic writers are free to write what they want. Black writers will take a side Black character and create a whole universe for them outside of the main characters in a predominately white film/fandom. But that's only because Black characters are always set aside, shunned, or written in racist/stereotypical ways. They are often fetishized, turned into brutes, or given so much less time in the front. Me writing all this is not saying that non-Black writers can't write stories about Mary or Remmick or anyone they choose. They write/appropriate what they want anyway, so it doesn't matter. I'm only interested in what Black fic writers are going to create

I want to be selfish and see Wunmi and Jayme heralded and pined over even if their characters aren't used as much as Hailee's in the film. I want us to have our shine finally. I want "Sinners" fics that reflect that.

I want to see more Black fics with Black characters paired with Black characters.

I want Black fic readers discovering this new fandom and finding new writers and new stories celebrating us.

I want this movie to succeed and everyone who goes to see it having a good, scary, time.

I want to see Muffin show out in his first period piece. Dressed casket sharp with gold teeth, lol!

I want Black fic writers to be able to write Black horror period piece stories that aren't rooted in Black trauma. There will be so many magical/supernatural things to write about in "Sinners" that we don't even have to touch on the horrors of historic white racism in America if we don't want to.

I promise you, Black people back then experienced joy, wonder, falling in love, and going up against antagonists that weren't always white people or white racism, or even the remnants of our enslaved past. The Klan ain't got to show up! Lol! Hell, white people don't even have to show up in your story. Coogler even hinted that there were more things other than vampires going on in the movie. We'll see. But my point is, we can create "Sinners" fics that Black readers won't have to fear dwelling on Black trauma porn as a plot point.

So...my fellow MBJ/Coogler fans...can we write the hell out of this new fandom? Revel in Blackness? Enjoy our latest entry into the vampire genre?

I would love to hear people's thoughts after they see the movie in April!

Last thought: If you know of some "Sinners" fics, share them!

[mya-valentine]

February 3rd - Love and War by Tamar Braxton - Satoru Gojo x Reader

The early morning sun streamed through the blinds, casting golden streaks across the rumpled bed. You stirred, stretching lazily as consciousness tugged at you. For a brief, fleeting moment, the world felt peaceful. Satoru’s strong arm was slung over your waist, his breath warm against the nape of your neck. His proximity was comforting, like a shield against everything chaotic and uncertain in your lives.

But the cracks in your shield were growing.

It wasn’t always this way. Loving Satoru Gojo had been an adventure at first, one filled with stolen kisses in moonlit streets, inside jokes, and late-night conversations that made you feel as if you could conquer anything. He had a way of making you feel like the center of the universe, like every moment spent with you was one he wouldn’t trade for anything.

Yet, love wasn’t enough to quiet the storms that seemed to follow him—or the ones that lived inside both of you.

You rolled over to face him, his messy white hair splayed against the pillow. Even in sleep, he looked ethereal, his long lashes brushing against his pale skin, his lips slightly parted. You wondered how someone so impossibly strong could look so peaceful, so vulnerable. For a moment, your heart softened, and you reached out to brush a strand of hair from his face.

But then the weight of yesterday’s argument crept back in.

It had been about something trivial, as most fights were. He had come home late—again—and you’d asked him why he hadn’t bothered to let you know. His answer had been frustratingly nonchalant, something about being caught up in work. It was always work, always curses, always the burdens he carried as the strongest sorcerer. You understood his responsibilities, truly, but understanding didn’t erase the ache of feeling like an afterthought.

“Good morning,” his voice broke through your thoughts, groggy yet warm. His eyes, those stunning crystalline blues, opened to meet yours, and he gave you a sleepy smile. “You’re staring. Am I that good-looking, or do I have drool on my face?”

You snorted despite yourself. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“And yet, you love me,” he teased, pulling you closer.

You wanted to bask in the moment, to lose yourself in the comfort of his embrace, but the remnants of unresolved tension lingered between you like smoke after a fire. You pulled away, sitting up and swinging your legs over the side of the bed.

“Something wrong?” Satoru’s voice lost its playful edge.

“No,” you lied, not trusting yourself to say more without igniting another argument. “I’m just… tired.”

“Tired?” he repeated, sitting up now. “Tired of what?”

Of this, you wanted to say. Of fighting, of feeling like I’m competing with the world for a place in your life. But instead, you shrugged. “I don’t want to fight, Satoru.”

His jaw tightened. “Neither do I, but we can’t keep sweeping things under the rug. If something’s bothering you, just say it.”

Your head whipped around, anger flaring. “Oh, so now you want to talk? Where was that energy last night when I tried to tell you how I felt, and you brushed me off like I was being irrational?”

Satoru sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Here we go again.”

“Don’t do that,” you snapped, standing. “Don’t dismiss me like I’m overreacting.”

He swung his legs over the bed, planting his feet firmly on the floor as he met your gaze. “I’m not dismissing you. I just—God, I don’t know how to do this sometimes, okay? I’m not good at this.”

“At what?” you demanded, arms crossed. “At being in a relationship? At communicating? Because you sure as hell seem to have no problem talking when it’s about work or your students.”

“Don’t,” he warned, his tone sharp. “Don’t make this about that.”

“But it is about that, Satoru!” you cried, the frustration bubbling over. “You give so much of yourself to everyone else—your students, the Jujutsu world, the damn universe. And what’s left for me? For us?”

His eyes darkened, the playful light you loved so much replaced by a storm. “You think I don’t give enough? That I don’t try? Do you have any idea how much I juggle, how much pressure I’m under every single day? I’m doing the best I can!”

“And maybe your best isn’t good enough!” The words left your mouth before you could stop them, and the moment they did, you saw the hurt flash across his face.

Silence hung heavy in the air, thick with tension and regret. You turned away, tears stinging your eyes. “I didn’t mean that,” you whispered.

But the damage was done.

The day passed in strained silence. Satoru busied himself with a mission, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You wandered the apartment aimlessly, the weight of the argument pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. You replayed his words, your words, every moment that led to this point.

Why did it always end like this? You loved him—God, you loved him—but sometimes love felt like a battlefield, a constant fight to stay afloat amidst the chaos.

By the time Satoru returned that evening, the sun had dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of deep orange and purple. He looked exhausted, his shoulders slumped as he kicked off his shoes. He glanced at you briefly before heading to the kitchen without a word.

You followed him, unable to stand the silence any longer. “Satoru—”

“I’m sorry,” he said, cutting you off. His back was to you as he rummaged through the fridge, but his voice was soft, almost fragile. “For earlier. For last night. For everything.”

Your heart ached at the rawness in his tone. “I’m sorry too,” you said quietly. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

He turned to face you, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. “Maybe we’re both just terrible at this.”

“Maybe,” you agreed, a small, bitter laugh escaping your lips. “But we’re in it together, right?”

Satoru’s expression softened, and he pushed off the counter, closing the distance between you. He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears you hadn’t realized were falling. “We are. No matter how many fights we have, no matter how messy it gets, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“Promise,” he said, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “I know I don’t always show it, but you’re everything to me. And I’ll do better. I’ll try harder.”

You nodded, leaning into his touch. “Me too.”

The reconciliation was tender, but you both knew it wouldn’t be the last fight. Loving Satoru was like weathering a storm—unpredictable, intense, but always worth it. And for all his flaws, for all the ways he drove you crazy, he was your storm. Your home.

The following weeks were a mix of highs and lows. There were moments when things felt perfect, when Satoru would surprise you with your favorite snacks or whisk you away for impromptu late-night adventures. But there were also moments when the cracks resurfaced—when his work consumed him, or when your insecurities crept back in.

One night, after a particularly grueling day for both of you, the tension boiled over again. It started small—Satoru had forgotten to pick up dinner, and you were already irritable from a long day at work. The argument escalated quickly, words sharper than they should have been, tempers flaring like wildfire.

“You’re so selfish sometimes!” you yelled, throwing your hands up in frustration.

“And you’re exhausting!” he shot back, his voice rising. “You nitpick every little thing I do like I’m some kind of project you’re trying to fix.”

The words cut deep, and you felt your chest tighten. “Is that what you think of me? That I’m just some nagging presence in your life?”

Satoru ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Without another word, you grabbed your coat and stormed out of the apartment, ignoring his calls for you to wait.

You walked aimlessly through the city, the cool night air biting at your skin. Your mind raced with thoughts of Satoru, of the love you shared and the pain it often brought. Could you keep doing this? Could you survive the constant push and pull of your relationship?

When you finally returned home hours later, Satoru was waiting. He was sitting on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. He looked up as you entered, his eyes filled with guilt and relief.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” he said quietly.

You closed the door behind you, leaning against it as exhaustion washed over you. “I needed space.”

He stood, closing the distance between you in a few strides. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for what I said, for how I acted. I didn’t mean it.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you shook your head

. “Satoru, we can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep hurting each other like this.”

“I know,” he said, his hands gripping your shoulders. “But I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to be what you need.”

“I don’t need you to be perfect,” you said, your voice breaking. “I just need you to try. To meet me halfway.”

“I’ll try,” he promised, his forehead resting against yours. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Just don’t give up on us.”

“I won’t,” you whispered, your hands clutching his shirt. “I love you too much to give up.”

And in that moment, as you clung to each other amidst the wreckage of your latest fight, you knew that love wasn’t about never fighting. It was about choosing each other, again and again, even when it was hard. Even when it hurt.

Because no matter how messy it got, Satoru Gojo was your person. And you were his.

.

.

.

Masterlist

[waitineedaname]

I know everyone has talked about this but I really do love how much reigen cares about the kids around him. In general, he seems to want what's best for people (even if he lies through his teeth to them or scolds them and tells them to grow up) but it's especially striking with the kids, particularly within the context of the series' genre. So often you see kids in shows and books and movies expected to bear the weight of the world, but then there's reigen going "you're just a kid, this is not your responsibility, you should just be worried about normal kid things." Over and over he throws himself into danger to protect kids who have been failed by all other adults around them. And he looks out for them outside of life or death situations too -- he hears teru talk about being alone during summer vacation and he immediately takes teru on a bunch of summer excursions and invites ritsu along too even though he knows ritsu doesn't like him, he gets a trip to a hot springs and invites both of them even though they're not his employees, he drives mob and his friends up a mountain to summon aliens on new years. He just constantly proves himself to be a reliable, caring adult to these kids, and it's no wonder so many of them ending up latching onto him

[sweetsapphicpeach]

I love our adventures, I love our calm and quiet evenings, but I am craving a night where I get to take my time with her. All I want is to lay her down and cover her in love, spend so long in that lovely haze that she's all I can think about. I want to kiss her, slow and sweet, until it feels like we are melting into each other. I want an hour to have passed before I ever even move down past her chest, with enough love bites to remind her of me for days. I want to trace my hands over her body, getting acquainted with every inch through exploratory touches as if I haven't done so dozens of times before. I want the spark of excitement perfectly blended with the comfort of familiarity. I want to make love. ♡

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

[otrtbs]

in my perfect world there wouldn't be a mcd warning tag... there would just be nothing and then BAM! u get hit with the death outta nowhere because that's life... but alas.... i keep it niceys

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki oki oki

so i love, you love, and we love the whole "everyone sees moshang except for moshang" thing, bc it's funny to have everyone else be like "ohwow those two idiots dont realize they're married huh"

but like

might i suggest the alternative?

idk i was rereading svsss and like, since the whole thing is basically shen yuan's pov and he's a relatively level headed dude, i can't help but think about the way that he looks at moshang

like, he really doesn't seem to have any idea that moshang could be a thing. from his pov, shang qinghua/airplane is a sniveling backstabbing asshole who gets what deserves and deserves quite a bit more thwacks and mobei jun is just kinda... there. like even after knowing shang qinghua for YEARS and being fairly close people who can confide in one another, shen yuan seems pretty fucking shocked when airplane jumps off a cliff to save mobei jun. from his pov, it's almost random. like "huh wow that is the weirdest thing i've seen all week, and airplane is NORMALLY very weird so like... huh???"

now by the time the airplane extras occur, shen yuan DOES seem to have some idea of moshang with his whole "youre just waiting for him to apologize and keep beating you" thing, but again, might i point you to the YEARS it took him to get to that point. having to see shang qinghua literally pull a death defying stunt to save mobei jun's life before he sees even a glimmer of moshang

like, when they were working on the mushroom together, they clearly spent a long time with each other. they had to travel together, they had to come up with plans together, they also likely just had social visits bc being the only other transmigrator in a world that is so fucking weird would definitely drive up a certain level of honesty and companionship

now again, shen yuan is lowkey the sort of guy who's like "i dont see gay themes even when they're reeeeaaalllyy obvious", especially with relation to himself (dont get me started on how one of my least fav mxtx themes, after the blatant crummy treatment of female characters, is the whole "im not GAY, gay is WEIRD, im gay FOR YOU, thats DIFFERENT" which winds up reflecting as internalized homophobia their protags), so it's possible that moshang is obvious to everyone who isnt shen yuan.

BUT I CONTEND THE OPPOSITE

as ive expressed before, i love "mobei jun is just fucking weird, demon courting isnt like that" headcanons, so what if no one knows what the fuck is happening between moshang. like they're just this super weird mismatched combination of people that everyone just kinda tilts their head at like "...huh, wouldnt expect to see those two together but whateves" and then proceed to not fucking care to know the answer

shang qinghua seems to have kept a purposeful emotional distance from... everyone (likely due to the whole "haha everyone here is gonna fucking DIE someday" thing) and as said above, even after years of a relationship with shen yuan, he doesn't seem to have talked about mobei jun to him much (who is, by airplane's own admission, the most important person to him in this world considering he's the only person that had airplane going "i mean... maybe i dont push the go home button?"). so no one really seems to give a fuck who he's hanging out with bc he's not exactly out here making friends

and mobei jun, i contend, is a weirdo outcast who does not know how to socialize bc his uncle is a dick LOL. also his father. and also his childhood. and other demons tend to look at him and go "fucking weird man... i think he keeps a human pet?? kinda weird but w/e, the emperor is into necrophilia so /shrug/"

so like, maybe if anyone paid attention to them, they might notice the signs of moshang, but because most people kinda dismiss them, no one knows

I CONTEND THAT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES KNOW IS LUO BINGHE THO

mostly because i find it FUCKING HILARIOUS but also bc i like to think luo binghe's whole "youre not used to his lil human pet yet? he brings it everywhere smh get over yourself" thing was luo binghe's way of being a wingman lmfao. he wont actually help or offer advice or do anything USEFUL, but he'll allow them to hang out when he has every ability to separate them LOL and i think that's funny

altho i still like the idea of luo binghe ALSO not knowing that moshang is a thing pfff. but having him know also amuses me.

ANYWAY ONTO THE ACTUAL APPLICATION INTO MOSHANG IDEAS

now the use in modern au's goes without saying. the good ol' "wait, THOSE TWO ARE A THING?!" coming from everyone who knows them. as an example, some form of workplace romance and even tho moshang can always be seen together in the office, because they dont seem to get along and no one cares, everyone is just like "shrug, they have a project together idc". like they're more likely to think that shang qinghua and shen yuan are dating bc at least those two have secretive meetings and have been caught, more than once, talking about sex. then one day shang qinghua shows up to work with the biggest rock on his finger pfff and mobei jun has a matching wedding band or someshit and everyone is shocked. or even better, some of the romantic pre-relationship stuff starts happening at the office but it's all stuff that's kinda easily misunderstood. and since no one would guess THOSE TWO together romantically, they just come up with any other plausible explanation. "why did mobei jun send shang qinghua flowers? idk, maybe his mom died. should we send him flowers too?" its not even a 'it couldnt be THAT', it's a straight up 'THAT never even crossed their minds for a second' until it gets really fucking ridiculous lololol then mobei jun and shang qinghua are applying for the same days off and mu qingfeng in HR is like "oki what for" and has to NOT do a spit-take when the two of them are like "our wedding" or someshit lolol

LOOK I JUST THINK IT'S VERY FUNNY

now as for the post-canon application, i still find this IMMENSELY amusing. for the sake of my amusement, im also choosing to interpret shen yuan's "you just want an apology" statement to have been given without imagining that the two of them might like-like each other. he's just being dismissive because airplane is fucking weird. like "look, idk why you are into role-playing as a humble servant and idk if i wanna know, actually, i definitely dont wanna know. you two clearly dont even like each other but you're in some weird co-dependent mess of a... friendship? friendship seems like a strong word. point being, get out of my house"

no one has the slightest clue about moshang's feelings for one another (except maybe binghe lolol) and they are REALLY not ready for when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, shang qinghua is sending in his two weeks notice for an ding peak bc "oh im the northern consort now lol" and everyone is trying to just understand WHEN and HOW

like people straight up being like "is this a prank? i feel like im being pranked?" and others like "oh they might have gotten like... fake married? is this an insurance scam? hmm"

and basically for the first time ever people are really trying to understand and think about moshang bc they are SO FUCKING CONFUSED. there are betting pools over what the REAL REASON behind this CLEARLY fake marriage is. luo binghe has put his bet on "they're actually in love and fr married" and people SCOFF. he's the only one betting that and wow, the demon emperor is clearly blinded by his own weird relationship and cant see that NORMALLY this sort of relationship would NEVER happen

(actually this could apply for modern au too pff whateves, im jsut having fun here)

inquiring minds just being like "shang qinghua, blink twice if you're being threatened, we can get you out of there". demons out here like "we should prrobabblyy find the cure for whatever potent love-poison that creepy lil human slipped into mobei jun's drink, or maybe a mind-control plant?"

stuck on whether i want moshang to be utterly oblivious to everyone elses skepticism bc they're just on their happy lil honeymoon stage or if i want them to find the confusion Deeply amusing.

moshang get-together being dramatic but not bc either of them are oblivious, just bc there are communication issues pff. theres no "i love you" "but you CANT love me" drama, instead its "i love you" "oh shit SWEET, lemme hop on your dick". i like the idea of moshang only struggling to understand one another when the pair of them are holding the other at arms length (mobei jun being a tsundere and airplane out here like "getting attached and taking things srsly IS THE ENEMY") but whenever theres like, a clear statement of intent, they're quick to let go of misunderstandings and just get on with it. now while i favor this interpretation of their characters, i find it PARTICULARLY funny in au's like this! bc it also means that the pair of them learned to understand all of their weird behavior as well. so they're still fucking weird around each other, so people really dont believe this is real. mobei jun is still just as likely to yeet shang qinghua into a death cave and shang qinghua is just as likely to literally hug mobei jun's thighs while pleading for mercy. it doesnt LOOK like a loving relationship to anyone with eyes LOL (not to say that they dont grow and treat each other better, but just having a deeper understanding of one another means they dont change behavior 100%)

which actually isnt why i find it funny lol, i just enjoy the subversion of expections. rather than moshang being oblivious to the point of mind-numbing hair pulling stupidity, it's the rest of the world x'D and then it's just moshang casually proving that nah, they're for real, and yep, they're super in love, to an increasingly confused audience

this could work really well in a celebrity au now that i think about it LOL bc celebs so frequently have fake relationships and hidden relationships and all that sort of weird shit and people love to speculate about it online. so just everyone being like "calling it right fucking now, this relationship is a publicity stunt" and literally NO ONE believes they're for real, even years into it LOL. im actually usually a person who really doesnt care for celebrity au's but tbh this prompt fits so well for that, so im sold

but it goes beyond just fans speculating online. even fellow coworkers are like "huh, weird choice of publicity stunt" and dont believe for one fucking second that moshang is actually happening. oki yeah im sold

shang qinghua - famous author turned screenwriter (does some directing and he's actually pretty good at it, has a cult following, but mainly he sticks to writing. he doesnt need that kind of stress in his life LOL). he's finally reached a sort of financial stability with his work, but he hasnt broken the habit of doing whatever the audience wants because "I DONT WANNA FUCKING STARVE BRO", and he's generally disheartened when his works that he puts his sincere vision into have a tendency to be SIGNIFICANTLY less popular

mobei jun - actor, specially known for stunts and action movies. doesnt actually have any history of scandals, other than it's known that he's kinda hard to work with. just kinda cold and distant. THERE ARE some lowkey scandals with his family tho. he's definitely a nepo baby of the industry and his uncle and father dont have clean reputations. mobei jun normally keeps a pretty big distance away from them so he's kinda like, in the splash zone but not dragged in.

shen yuan - long time fan of shang qinghua's work, even back when the hack of an author was just posting web novels, his favorite insult is to call him a sell-out bc very often his deepest criticisms of shang qinghua's works are clearly choices made for money. as an example, a perfectly directed film that he wrote and nearly brought shen yuan to tears and quickly became his favorite movie EXCEPT theres fucking product placement in NEARLY EVERY FUCKING SCENE and sometimes it makes the movie fucking UNWATCHABLE. anyway, shen yuan runs the fansite for shang qinghua and is a LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with his works, but still has a love/hate relationship with the whole thing

luo binghe - pop idol who sometimes does acting work. he's known as an all-around talent. his acting is just as good as his singing, if not better, and basically everything he tries to do is wildly successful and genuinely fucking good. he's insanely popular to a scary degree (shen yuan is only familiar with his work bc he's acted in some of qinghua's movies and sometimes qinghua uses his music, shen yuan has an overall favorable impression of the celebrity but no obsession. mostly a "oh nice, that actor is really good, that and THAT HACK AUTHOR directing is sure to make this a must-watch movie" type of fanning)

liu qingge - stunt man and martial artist. he's not crazy famous, he's more like "if you're really into martial arts, you've definitely heard of him" or "if you're really into stunt work, you've heard of him" famous. but if you don't have those special interests, you have no idea. he MIGHT look faintly familiar to you, but you're unlikely to put a name to the face

shen jiu - actor, many scandals, SO MANY SCANDALS. he's very successful, infamously difficult to work with, has so many accusations hurled at him (and a majority of them are true) that when you hear "omg did you hear abt shen jiu" the answer is "ohyeah, the red-light district thing?" and the reply to that is "nonono, that was LAT MONTH, im talking abt the abuse allegations that came out yesterday!" and so on and so forth. shen jiu is a hot fucking mess and the industry has NOT helped him one bit. he has the money and power to get away with being his worst self and he Does Not Fucking Care (he cares so fucking much, he's literally burning from the inside out)

yue qingyuan - childhood friends with shen jiu, kind of accidentally being an enabler of shen jiu's spiral to hell. he's a producer and he's very successful and he keeps paving the way for shen jiu to continue getting work and help to bury scandals and basically the dude is trying his best, but he really should be putting his foot down and sending his friend to rehab instead of helping him like this

sha hualing - actress, does her own stunts, very temperamental. difficult to work with in that she's a bit (a lot) of a loose canon. she's hyper capable though and VERY popular. not a ton of scandals other than some violent behavior. she's also very good at dancing, basically anything that involves moving her body, she excels. her and mobei have totally starred in action movies together where theyre basically "hot beefy action hero and sexy badass love interest". they have a casual frenemy relationship

liu mingyan - average fanfiction writer, huge fan of rpf. she is relatively untouched by her brothers fame and intends to keep it that way. that said, she's more than happy to utilize the gossip that her brother sometimes brings home to implement as 'headcanons' into her fanfics >:D she does not tell her brother about this pfff. she also does martial arts and she's very good, but she has no desire to pursue fame. the closest she gets to it is sometimes watching her brother on a set (while secretly paying attention to everyone else for rpf bait LOL). she is not a fan of the whole moshang thing because it separates her otp (mobing for life!) and she's also convinced that its CLEARLY fake

mu qingfang - doctor, just a normal doctor, no fame involved. but his guilty pleasure is that he enjoys looking at celebrity gossip while on break. it's just a very lowkey sort of cathartic drama that he has no stakes in and helps him destress from his very stressful job. he mostly just lurks, but he's been known to write the occasional comment if he feels he has some useful insight to contribute

ning yingying - over-worked office lady. she wanted to be a pop idol when she was younger but it just wasnt in the cards. now she just enjoys getting a little parasocially invested in celebrity gossip, ESPECIALLY around luo binghe bc she's a. a mega fan. b. they were actually classmates in highschool. she's a fierce defender of his online and also one of those people who gets kinda offended by rpf bc "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT" but also hypocritically will read every single "rpf character x reader" fanfic she can get her hands on

ming fan - luo binghe's hater online. mostly because he also knew him in highschool and hated the guy and now he's ugly jealous of his success. he likes to spread mean rumors about binghe online, just to blow off some steam. but his stupid obsession with slandering his ex-classmate sort of grew into a genuine interest in celebrity gossip and now he's a bit of an internet troll who's a little too invested in this shit. he's not a complete asshole and there are lines he won't cross, buuut he's also one of those assholes who sorta feels like "its online so it doesnt count if im a huge asshole" and just is his worst self online. he constantly gets in fights with ning yingying online (without knowing its her) about luo binghe. shen yuan sometimes gets involved too bc while he's not huge into the binghe fandom (that place scares him) he IS big on fact checking and whenever ming fan says something OBVIOUSLY false, shen yuan can't help but go in for corrections

qi qingqi - actress, successful, very low drama. she's famous and well liked, no major scandals, just a successful woman with a good career.

zhuzhi-lang - works as his uncles assistant. he keeps track of online drama because its part of his job, sometimes his uncle has him spread rumors online too so he has a few alts that are believable fan accounts for various celebrities.

tianlang-jun - one of those people who's basically famous just for being famous. he has done a bit of everything, but it's mostly that he's a household name that makes him famous. he currently works as a producer because he finds it really fucking funny. but it's anyones guess when he'll get bored of this and flit off to do something else that catches his fancy

su xiyan - model and martial artist. she's mostly famous for her TURBULANT relationship with tianlang-jun. she's skilled at both her crafts and has success, but she has no real ambition for fame. also her career is often held back by the shitty people in her life (her ex-mentor being PRIME among them, the grooming old scumbag). she got pregnant with binghe very early in her career and gave him away for adoption for various reasons. she has a good relationship with his adopted mother, but she's chosen to stay out of binghe's life. tianlang-jun doesn't know binghe is his son LOL

meng mo - thinks of himself as a star-maker, he's luo binghe's manager and has a VERY high opinion of his skills bc he's had a few successful clients. he does however tend to give very bad personal life advice

yang yixuan - one of liu qingge's students. he's only passively aware of celebrity gossip, it's really not his thing, but he is a bit of a mobei jun fan. mostly bc mobei jun does his own stunts and yan yixuan can recognize the skill involved and just thinks the guy is really fucking cool (not more cool than liu qingge OBVIOUSLY but still cool). he's very disappointed to hear abt this clearly fake relationship with shang qinghua, he thought that mobei jun was above all that petty celebrity bullshit of fake relationships and tabloid bait

gongyi xiao - aspiring young actor, overall just a nice guy. no scandals, not really famous yet but he has a promising lil fanbase that is slowly growing. however, he does have a bad habit of answering too honestly while being interviewed which can inadvertently have bad consequences LOL (example: "so what do you think of this moshang thing?" "hm, i mean, it really surprised me? seemed out of nowhere haha, i guess good for them??" which quickly spirals into "omg gongyi xiao CLEARLY knows it's fake! he cant lie for shit! THIS IS BASICALLY EVIDENCE")

qin wanyue - binghe fan, terminally parasocial, lives off of rpf fanfiction, literally missed her younger sisters funeral to attend a binghe concert, probably needs professional help like yesterday. when the online conversations of moshang start involving binghe, she gets VERY FUCKING UPSET

little palace mistress - nepo baby pop idol. very obsessed with binghe but also in a love/hate sort of way bc he doesnt do what she WANTS him to do and she craves the obedience. she takes out her impudent rage online. she's a big mobei jun hater bc she saw the mobing conspiracies before moshang happened AND SHE SAW RED. she now wants moshang to crash and burn bc she hates mobei jun with an irrational passion. she is doing her best to sabotage whatever stupid publicity stunt this is

(ships: moshang, bingyuan, liujiu, mingling)

moshang had their own super slowburn romance of actor x director that happened over the course of years and the mutual pining was basically killing them both and they had their own dramatic love confessions and shit, but it all happened behind closed doors so no one knows any of that. all they know is that this relationship Makes No Sense and internet sleuths are very invested with UNCOVERING THE TRUTH

[nights-at-crystarium]

Re: shb trolley problem I find it kinda funny and hypocritical that so little care/sympathy is being shown towards the 8th Calamity Timeline and how underexplored that problem's in canon, it's ""okay"" to erase that timeline, along with Exarch himself (as per the 5.0 knowledge), just because a portion of that doomed Source's population (the Ironworks and others who worked on the plan) said it's okay, we hate it here anyway. Surely the rest of the star unanimously agreed with that.

[xf-cases-solved]

mulder vs. scully and her period

-first off, he 1000% keeps track of her cycle - it's vital to his survival - but he would never ever ever ever tell scully that

-he learned to start keeping track after too many blunders during their first year working together. like, he'd had girlfriends in the past, obviously, but he didn't travel the country constantly with them day in and day out. even diana was rly reserved about her period, preferring to keep that sort of thing to herself. but scully is a medical doctor. while she may take issue with any emotional aspect, and be uncomfortable and embarrassed about that part, she is completely nonplussed by the physical aspect, and talks about it very bluntly and openly, and that took mulder by surprise at first. he wasn't used to being around a woman who wasn't bashful about it, and it made him uncomfortable at first, but eventually he was like "ok, this is going to be part of working with her, i need to get over myself and up my game"

-in their entire time working together, mulder has made one (1) "are you on your period or something?" joke. it was about six months into their partnership, and scully was (rightfully) irritated at him about something and he had tried for some levity. let's just say that he, ah... he has never made that mistake again

-he always has a tampon on hand. like, always. it is more reliable to ask mulder if he has a tampon than it would be to ask another woman in the bathroom if she has one. he started keeping them on him when she got her period on a three hour long flight that had an hour delay on the tarmac, and she'd accidentally forgotten to take a couple tampons out of her checked luggage, so he'd watched her shift around uncomfortably with a makeshift pad made of thin, coarse airplane bathroom toilet paper, and he felt really bad that he couldn't do anything about it, so on the flight back, he bought a travel pack pack of like, six tampons when he went to get sunflower seeds, just in case. then at some point he was like "mb i should keep a couple in my overnight bag for her," and that led to, "she's in my apartment a lot, i should throw a couple under the sink," until eventually he was King of the Tampons

-(he even has different absorbency levels, okay? like, he is on top of his shit)

-he used to buy chocolate for her on long drives when he knew she was on the rag, always saying something like, "it was two for one, don't worry about it," even when it wasn't, until he started to pay closer attention, and he realized she actually tended to crave salty foods instead of sweet ones, so he switched from chocolate to potato chips and pretzels. (he would play it off as though he got them for himself and then would keep offering her some, bc he knew that would help her not sit there and (completely needlessly) dwell over eating junk food)

-she gets really bad cramps the first day and a half or so, and he haaaates it, bc even tho she waves it off, he can see the way she clenches her jaw, and is hunched over whenever she thinks he's not paying attention. if she's over at his place when they're happening - even if they're working - he makes her sit with a heating pad and encourages her to drink the whole glass of water when she takes her midol. he has massaged her lower back on more than one occasion

-she stopped getting her periods regularly when she was going through cancer treatment, her body too sick and weak. about two months after going into remission, she bled through her slacks on some rural highway in arkansas, and although mulder listened to her complain and validated her frustration, he was secretly so relieved, bc he knew it meant that her body was really and truly starting to heal

-her periods become kind of a taboo subject in a way they hadn't ever been before once she learns of her infertility. she doesn't talk as openly about them anymore, but he's still always prepared and after four/five plus years together he doesn't need her to tell him how to make her feel better. he can intuit it. she doesn't say it, but he knows that she's grateful

-her periods become a dark topic when the ivf fails. the period that confirmed it didn't take was hard on both of them, and she spent every night of it at mulder's apartment letting him hold her and allowing him the privilege of caring for her, which she usually resisted

-he actually noticed that she missed a period before he was taken in oregon, but he had no reason to suspect it was anything but just a fluke, so he didn't say anything. when he glanced at his calendar and saw what week it was, though, he did have a fleeting moment where he was like "what if?" not in a serious capacity, but in a wistful way. i mean, they'd been going at it like rabbits and had never once even considered using a condom. like, why would they, right? but in his brief fantasy, he thinks about how she would react seeing a plus sign on a pregnancy test. it would be familiar - that look of disbelief and awe she got whenever they witnessed something unexplainable - and he would be the cause of it, and how amazing would it feel to be able to give that to her? to give that to both of them? but he knows it'll never be anything more than a pipe dream (bitch, you thought!)

-we won't get into sad later stuff, but i'll just say that he really, really resents the fact that he wasn't there to take care of her during her pregnancy. and he would have been fantastic at it. he would have toed the line between supportive but not overbearing perfectly. she would have had a beautiful nine months, like she had more than earned. he'll never totally forgive the universe for taking that from them

-and to conclude, let me just say for the record, mulder is all about period sex. orgasms help cramps, right? he's just being altruistic. ("YOUR orgasm doesn't help my cramps, mulder" "hey, we'll never know for sure unless we try")

-lay down a towel, lay down your woman, and get to it. bro eats crime scene evidence. there's no way he'd let a period stop him from fucking. god bless and amen

-the end

[armandshoe]

there seems to be far too many fans who can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that no relationship in the Vampire Chronicles is healthy. every relationship includes an element of abuse/power imbalance by normal standards. literally every single one.

they are all monsters who are no longer constrained by societal rules. so I don't think it's too crazy to expect them to do mosntorus things. the genre is Gothic HORROR. the show really prioritizes the HORROR element more so than other adaptaions, which i love.

i don't need louis to be a liar to enjoy lestat. if louis lied or misremebered things about the fight in episode 5, i literally do not care because it's never gonna make me hate louis. the baseline of what constitutes "evil" or "bad" is so different in iwtv because of the fact that they are NOT HUMAN. Claudia is literally a serial killer and she's still mother to me. ykwim?

the nature of vampirism is they have to kill to survive. so it would be really cool if people could accept louis, armand, and claudia as complex characters who are fundamentally not good people (because they aren't people!) without being racist about it. THEY ARE ALL KILLERS

im more interested in this exploration of the complexities of memory and seeing how the show integrates the other books into this story in a way that hasn't been done before than I am in discoursing about whether louis is a liar or not. who gives a shit???? grow up and realize that there are no good guys here and that's OKAY

[thirdeyeblue]

“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”

I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.

Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨

When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.

While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.

In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):

He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.

Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.

He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.

And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.

Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.

(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)

Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…

His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.

It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:

He is still in love with Rose.

(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)

Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.

But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.

Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.

I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.

So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.

But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.

“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”

-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!

Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!

Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.

The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.

But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.

[guppygiggles]

Late-night (early morning?), half-asleep ramble about (love letter to?) tickling under the cut.

People's bodies betraying them, as it relates to tickling, just... does something to me.

When someone is being tickled, and they are trying so hard not to laugh... but they are SO sensitive, so ticklish, they just can't help it...

I even like the word, unsurprisingly. Ticklish. Not just sensitive, but specifically susceptible to being tickled... a phenomena so unique, we actually have a word for it. It just flutters my tummy up when I hear that someone is ticklish... knowing that it means, if tickled, they're sure to laugh. There is just something so deliciously vulnerable about that, to me... something so adorable...

"Sensitive" is not a very precise word. It could mean emotionally delicate, or skin that is reactive, bruises easily, etc... but ticklish...

A ticklish person is going to be weak to a light touch, or a gentle tweaking, somewhere on their body... And no matter where that spot is... it's just so unbearably cute to me.

The way a person with ticklish ears, or a ticklish neck, will shrug their shoulders and tuck their head down when you whisper, kiss, or softly feather them there...

Someone with ticklish armpits or sides will press their arms against their body, usually doubling over, or even grabbing your wrists if they can reach them...

A ticklish belly will also make someone curl forward, either grabbing at you or trying to block with their arms wrapped protectively around their middle...

Tickling someone's thighs will cause them to kick, press their legs together, and sometimes crumple to the ground as their knees weaken, their strength betraying them as they helplessly endure the sensation...

If you can get ahold of someone's ticklish feet, tickling there will make them scrunch their toes down defensively, kick, and wriggle their ankles trying to get free...

Soooo many other spots, common and uncommon, and all with their own unique reactions... not just unique to the spot, but also to the person, which only serves to fascinate and enthrall me even more...

This is to say nothing of all the different ways people can laugh... and I'm sure I won't surprise anyone by saying I find all of those adorable, too...

High-pitched, "he-he-he" giggles, especially if the person is embarrassed about them... oh, don't even get me started on people who blush from being tickled... the way that makes me swoon...

Low, humming, closed-mouth "hm-hm-hm" laughter from people who try to hold back... and how deliciously satisfying it is when you finally get them to open their mouth and let out a big belly laugh...

People who burst into "ha-ha-ha"s the moment you touch them... or even better, before you touch them, if they are so ticklish as to react before the sensation has even begun...

The sheer, helpless honesty of people who snort, squeal, and even scream... things that simply cannot be faked or resisted, that demand to be felt and expressed...

All the other things people's bodies do... the way they tremble, flush, get sweaty, tear up, get hiccups, smile sooooo big, and flail around uncontrollably... the way they're totally helpless but to tell the whole story of what's going on inside...

God... yeah, man...

I think about tickling.

[many-gay-magpies]

oh a very sad idea i had a few days ago. in a world where edwin doesn't die at 16—whether the sacrifice doesn't happen, or it doesn't work, or whatever—he'd very likely get drafted into WWI. in a world where he survives THAT, then all the years that follow, he could... very possibly still be alive by the time charles comes around. the year charles is set to die, this edwin-that-survived would be 89. maybe he married a woman to make his parents and society at large happy, or maybe he managed to find some modicum of queer joy for himself even with the constraints of his time period (or maybe some combo of both—hey, lavender marriage!).

i'm just... imaging a scenario where somewhere, somehow, edwin and charles meet, both of them alive. charles, a 16 year old kid hiding his trauma with sun-bright smiles, and edwin, 73 years past where in another life, his life ended. maybe charles is out with his mum and meets edwin shopping, or maybe he runs away from home—in a world where HE doesn't die when he would have, either—and somehow winds up on edwin's doorstep. and i keep thinking, who would edwin be then? without hell, without charles? with 73 more years of life under his belt? and i'm imagining this small, fleeting moment of charles getting advice and solace from a queer elder edwin, and yet underneath it there's just this sense of... missed time. in this life, the threads of their destinies are barely intertwined, fated to only just graze each other this once before passing on apart from each other, but maybe—in that touch, there's the barest glimpse of another life. a life where their threads are so completely intertwined that it can't help but bleed through the slightest bit, even here—but it was tragedy upon tragedy upon tragedy that even made the connection in that other life possible.

charles meets edwin, but he is alive and young with his whole life ahead of him, endless possibilities once he manages to escape his father. charles meets edwin, but edwin is old, most of his life already behind him; he'll likely pass on peacefully within a few years if he is not already on his way. they meet, and they're practically strangers, and they won't be anything other than that, because in this life their paths cross only briefly—but in that brief meeting, the slightest sense of loss prickles somewhere in each of them.

haha. anyways

[ambrosiagourmet]

Dunmeshi characterization mumblings…

Laios tries. That’s the guiding principle of his characterization, to me. He tries more than he realizes. He thought he gave up during his years with the military but he never did. Something dragged him to Falin, after all.

He cares about people a lot and he wants to do well by them. This is usually specific people but also can be groups (eg the orcs or the residents of the Golden Kingdom). His hit rate on noticing what people like/want/need is not anywhere close to 100% but once he has locked something in he’s Locked It In.

He wants to be better than he is, and he isn’t always good at noticing what he does do well. Some part of him does want to run away, and he’s not always great at accepting that. He clashes with it, and doesn’t even always know whether he’s winning against it (framing his past of leaving Falin as running away when it wasn’t necessarily that simple). When he does self-reflect he can have a pretty dismal view of himself, and he prefers to act instead. This leads him to help as often as it leads him to step on toes, but it does very much do both. He’s working on getting better about this by post-canon though - on some level I think he’s aware that it’s not how he always wants to be.

He supports people by Physically Being There. Lots of worried dog laying their head on your lap energy. Voted most likely to stay by someone’s bedside until they wake up.

~

Marcille is still figuring out where she fits in the world. She's still figuring out who she wants to be. She can be extremely confident about some things, and completely doubt herself in other areas. She's got a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it charm. She DOES know what she's talking about, she just doesn't always know how to apply it. Very #gradstudentcore. She's still only just starting to explore the world beyond the safety of her parents or her school!

She has such a big heart and she emotes loudly, every time. That doesn't mean that she shows EVERYTHING she's feeling, but if she does show it, she shows it big. She loves romance and big gestures and the zest of life and people. She likes to meddle and snoop because she wants to know the whole story and wants to be in on it all. I think sometimes she might have trouble realizing that she's PART of the story, though. Like, she views her meddling gossip seeking as neutral or good acts, when they can affect people more than she realizes, and sometimes even hurt them.

In general she's not great at predicting the repercussions for her actions. I do think she reflects on herself, but sometimes she's trying to learn and do so much that some things get lost. She wants to be better, and she's always learning and growing and taking things in. I genuinely think that someday Marcille is going to be a little more sure of herself and a little more experience and she is going to be an AMAZING woman. She's just not always good at handling the fact that she can't just be THERE already.

She supports people by cheering them on. The force of Marcille Believing In You could give someone the power to move mountains. Yes, she does also fret and fuss over people in ways that can undermine that. But like the Marcille smile and "you got this" encouragement? Literally confers The Power Of Love.

~

Kabru... Kabru is building the future he wants to see. He's not very good at putting that work down, though (I know, workaholic Kabru characterization, deeply insightful). He can be prone to seeing himself more a part of the process of creating a better world, though, rather than a person who deserves to live in that world. Like, I think he'd be more likely to daydream about a statue or plaque dedicated to him than about himself actually just hanging out and being content.

He thinks about everything. I definitely don't think he's always manipulating people, but he is almost always observing. And since he's prone to following those observations to plans and ideas, he's not being great at turning off his Planning brain, and thus measures his words and actions even when he maybe... shouldn't be....

I don't think he'd describe himself as an "ends justify the means" person (he's very opposed to that way of handling things from the Canaries), but he is rather more concerned about the ends than the means. Bit of a hypocrite there, maybe? I do think his ends are kinder and more inclusive than the Canaries, though. So maybe it's something where he believes that if one has good enough ends, the means must be worth it. Especially since he directs the cost of those means at himself as much as possible. He views himself as expendable in pursuit of a worthy goal.

He is getting better about that but I don't know that he's consciously acknowledged that it's a problem. And so he's probably prone to relapse into those self-minimizing behaviors, especially given he very much has a new Goal to focus on with the kingdom.

Honestly, Kabru doesn't really self-reflect nearly as much as he might think he does. This is actually taking me a little by surprise as well. But he reacts more from emotions than logic in a few points in the story (esp the part where he stops Mithrun from killing Falin), and doesn't really... acknowledge that?

Maybe it's more accurate to say that he's kind of hit or miss with it. He is learning and growing all the time. But he's also something of a blind spot in his own excellent understanding of what makes people tick. Maybe he's better at understanding himself through the reflection of how other people see him.

He shows his support by making other people's lives easier. That might mean giving them a friendly ear, helping them navigate a tricky situation, or assuaging worries they didn't even realize that had. This isn't always true, but I think sometimes he might like some his support to be a little invisible. I don't think he has a problem with receiving praise and gratitude, but I also don't know that it does much for him, either. And being able to help without being noticed can help him hide the vulnerability of the depth of his attachment.

Also, Kabru would probably be more emotionally destroyed by one person helping him with something than a hundred people praising him for his help (but would claim he prefers to help and be appreciated for it).