#this is how the context gets lost for posterity

[britishdisasters]

…

[themeaningthemeaningthe]

can’t sleep for other reasons and my brain can’t stop thinking about a post i saw and initially ignored but keep having thoughts about. i didn’t comment on it or anything and now it’s lost to the ether and i don’t wanna go looking for it but these thoughts gotta go somewhere.

this will be long and rambling and probably a little incoherent cuz it’s 3am.

the post was someone saying that they finally picked up gideon the ninth after years of seeing locked tomb posts and griddlehark, then dropped it after like 2 chapters bcuz they think the dynamic between gideon and harrow is abusive (which is fair when u first start it) and they can’t believe people are into it as enemies to lovers. on the one hand, people are totally cool to just not like something for whatever reason, i myself just have thoughts about the Nuance that i didn’t express on the post that i now must here.

lots of important spoilers for GtN!! (and maybe accidentally ones to HtN)

ok here’s the rant.

that’s the point!!!!! that’s the point.

they are terrible to each other and they have always been. the growth and the development of their character dynamics together explores how this thing between them that has always been sharp and seething and spiky must buckle under the weight of outside pressure beyond anything they could have imagined.

in a very important pool scene (one that is ubiquitous in fanart and i have to believe this poster saw at least a few times) we get an explanation from harrow! and not only does this give us a more full look into the context of drearbruh outside of gideons narrow point of view, but it also makes more clear why they were like That.

i’m sorry but literally harrow is 200 dead kids that her parents killed to make her, and gideon is the one kid they couldn’t kill. and gideon realizes once told this, she is the living reminder of the war crime committed to save the house, and no one who knows can forget it.

and harrow has known the truth of her origin since she was old enough to comprehend anything!! so yeah, a traumatized child who knows she’s the entirety of a generation of her house is gonna lash out at literally the only other child on the planet who she happens to also have power over.

and i feel like the book makes this pretty clear!! this was bad!! but also, these are two traumatized kids growing up in a dying, creepy, planet that is lowkey hell.

the other key thing about the pool scene, is that it is a Confession. these books are sooo steeped in catholicism. harrow isn’t just explaining the true history of her life, she is Confessing all of the sins that make her up and all of the sins she has committed. bearing the entirety of the wretchedness of her soul for gideon judge. expecting her only friend whom she has made miserable for years to kill her.

and i know we joke about gideon being lesbian jesus, but there’s a reason for that (besides the obvious). bcuz after hearing her Confession, gideon baptized harrow in that pool.

one flesh one end, bitch.

and also like yeah griddlehark is an enemies to lovers in some ways, but i feel like also not in the typical way you would think about that trope?? bcuz correct me if im wrong but they never really become lovers (and i personally am not sure they ever will). yes they love each other and make the grandest gestures of love imaginable. but that love is inevitably fucked up in some ways and it’s impossible for it to not be.

god that was way too long. anyway. some Nuance is necessary.

[lovckett]

someone dent my head in pls i cant stop thinking about vampire tfone orion except he doesn't know he's a vampire i cant stop WONT STOP CANT STOP WONT STOP UAAAGHHGHHGHHGHHHH

yes writing these are ok . credit is nonmandatory but it'd be pretty neat to have it

TFONE 5 times orion pax looked stupid without context and one time everyone sees his plan in full action and realizes Oh he's kinda smart he just LOOKS stupid

TFP twisted beauty and the beast au . sacrificial lamb orion who's gifted to megatronus either for killing or eating but orion is Not willing to take that shit and keeps plotting to escape in the most unconventional ways . megatronus is trying and failing to explain that No he does Not eat the sacrifices and please get down from the chandelier he doesn't want orion hurt himself and spilled energon is really hard to clean from the carpet . they get along eventually with literature .

TFONE Whatever Job Isn't Really That Bad Until The One Person You Absolutely Do NOT Want Finding Out Finds Out Not Because It's Illegal But It's Really Kinda Embarrassing orion . he picked up the gig because he realized dee was willingly taking punishments by darkwing meant for him and he's given less and less energon rations each day so orion agrees to work for as long as he needs to . many repercussions like drowsiness and dee growing more and more concerned because Why is pax so tired and is pax giving me Extra energon ???? is he starving ??????

TFONE secret orion job but it Definitely Is Very illegal . he sells crack ( synthesized energon ......... hi tfp ratchet ) . orion needing to come up with the weirdest lies to save his aft .

TFONE/TFP orion finds a sparkling and decides You Know What I Can Totally Handle This . suspicious d-16/megatronus until the eventual Oh Shit Got Caught . humorous misunderstandings (" where is the sire?! does he not have the grace to even stay by your side ?!!!? ") (" oh my god you got sparked up???!? pax????? i thought— how didn't i— when?????? ") . no the sparkling isn't b-127 that is a grown man with huge balls .

TFONE orion misusing a word and the aftermath dragging out longer than it should've been .

TFP optimus x MTMTE lost light . after optimus jumps into the well of allspark he appears in the shadow zone with soundwave . theyre very wary and by soundwave's pov especially hateful but learn to get along . lost light suddenly appears to pick them up . i don't know enough about lost light to add anything but it'd be cool to see them both progress . someone give me fics to read pls anything

TFONE orion pax gets cybertronian equivalents to piercings and tattoos . or he USED to wear piercings and he now hides his tattoos . i dunno i just want to see d-16 jaw drop because What What Do You Mean Orion Pax Has Tattoos Excuse Me Did I Hear You Right Hello Repeat That Again Where Even Are They I Need To Know .

TFP extremely ticklish orion pax . except it's the kind of ticklish where megatronus keeps poking him and he slowly descends to the ground clutching himself each time and it happens so much that he grows paranoid of being tickled again so he goes to drastic measures to get Away from those horrifying servos . he somehow ends up on top of one of the archival shelves and can't get down . (" come now, little archivist, i swear on my servo that you will not be deceived! ") ("YOU CANNOT FOOL ME MEGATRONUS. YOUR SERVO WAS ON MY FRAME JUST MOMENTS AGO . I THINK I AM INCLINED NOT TO TRUST YOUR SERVO . ")

TFONE d-16 convinced that orion pax is doing something suspicious and each time he stumbles on orion it's either seemingly incriminating or seemingly innocent .

TFONE orion being a secret fanboy . he laughs at d-16 for his very open admiration toward megatronus but he's so much worse than d-16. he hoards pictures and figurines and posters and drawings of prima prime . he has a body pillow . he knows he can't hide it forever but the secret he will keep to the grave is that he's written fanfiction of him . he is either found out by dee stumbling on his collection of things or orion immediately getting into an argument with someone that hates prima .

TFONE miners knowing about the cybertronian equivalent to birthdays and orion having zero clue what that is . dee asks him when his birthday is and orion's reaction is that he sort of has this slightly horrified look because he has this extremely misconstrued idea of what's birthday sounds like it would be. Um . Dee , What The Frag Is a Birth Day . Is It like When You— vague motion OR he nods very stiltedly and roblox man face smiles and is like Ah Yes the Birthday the Birthday For me Hm yes that's i ah uh haven't decided yet !

[ven0moir]

So, Bychance is on my radar and ... I think it'll actually happen.

Disclaimer, I realize this is me going full unhinged mode and some of this might be because I'm so bored lately but the more I think about where we left Will off in S4, the more I think Will might actually take a chance ( lmao? ) to be with someone new, even if deep down he knows it's not in his best interests--it'll be more a coping mechanism, an attempt to move on from Mike, and without realizing he might be repeating the pattern of his parent's relationship due to trauma.

This will ultimately result in growth for him, of course, and the breaking of these cycles. Will Byers will be free in the end, but the road there won't be easy.

So here we go--by the leaks of Holly being taken, and the outfits they are wearing, we can infer S5 Byler will mirror S1 Jancy.

Yeah. And how did Nancy start S1?

Having a one-time, two-time secretive thing with a jock ( bully ) that left a note in her locker at the start of the season.

Something something bullies leaving a note in Will's locker at the start of the season.

Something something a bully leaving a note at the start of S5 in Will's locker with a place and time to meet.

And what is one of the most noticeable things that Stancy and Mileven have in common?

Yeah, they start seemingly very passionate, only to fall apart later. Add Bychance to that mix.

Now, about the place and time where Chance and Will likely secretly meet. At first I thought it would be Benny's Burger.

Benny's Burger, which also foreshadows Mike telling Eleven something about her Benny Burger's t-shirt in EP9. It is also established in these screenshots that Benny's Burger is a place commonly used for people to hang out, likely teenagers, to engage in illegal things like drinking ( and probably more, the 69 poster above Lucas' head notwithstanding )

We also have the whole 'WE ❤️ TIGERS' posters, and Christmas Lights which we have come to associate with Will, as it has been established that this is Will's favorite holiday as well.

However, Chance and Will would have to be extra careful not to get caught, so chances are they'll go for places that aren't frequented ...

Now, the main question is, why Chance? And I'll admit this is all oh so fairly loose and likely a reach, but if we are to believe Will is going to have a secret thing with a bully, then out of all of the ones introduced in S4, Chance is the one that I'd dare to say we can connect Will with through symbolism, albeit vague.

The first time we see Chance, we see the poster 'Defeat The Falcons' closer to him than anyone else on the team even though he was on the bench.

Now, correct me if Im wrong, but if there is an association with Mike and falcons, then it could hint at Mike having lost to chance this season. Foreshadowing he loses to a literal Chance next season? Since Chance didn't come out the bench this season. Yikes. Good luck, Mike. You're gonna need it.

We also notice he's sporting the number 22 in his shirt ( which considering the attention brought to t-shirts this season, I'd say this means something, especially bc 22 is Will's birthday and it is also speculated to be the date of the Creel Murders -- Chance and Will meeting at the Creel House oh god ... ).

Speaking of 22, this scene is interconnected with Will in California through music--it does have a similar context in which both Lucas and Will feel abandoned by their friends. But we also see what you could argue is an extra that is supposed to remind us of Chance behind Will wearing a shirt ( again with the shirts ) that says 'I love contact sports'

Moments before, we *just* saw Chance next to Lucas, in the same spot we see Mike as well--as if the two are being compared. ( Tiger vs Falcon? )

We know Will is associated with tigers, but we can also infer that he loves tigers, which connects him to the 'WE ❤️ YOU TIGERS' poster in Benny's Burgers.

This is as far as I have gone in my analysis, but I might rewatch S1 and S3 at one point to follow along the narrative patterns and see if I can uncover more.

My guess right now is if Bychance is established early on, then it might go for about a couple episodes before it inevitably crashes and burns--with Will being the one to end things, and then Byler happens at the end in a way that pays off.

[ninadove]

And because I now have fancy new tags to put to good use…

Thoughts on Miraculous S6 E2: The Illustrhater 🎨

Please note that this is a salt-free space. I do not want to see even a grain of salt in my notes. You will be blocked on sight. Cool? Cool. (And even if it’s not cool with you… well… blocked on sight… so…)

First things first: the new animation style is actually really cute and works really well in context! Chat in particular looks great, contrary to what that first promotional poster made us fear. Adrien as a civilian might be the one who suffered most, probably because of the hairstyle change… It will need some getting used to, but overall, I like what I’ve seen so far. So much love and care was put into the smallest details, like the sparkles on Mari’s tights!

Special mention:

SHE HAS SPIKES????? LITTLE HAIR SPIKES????? IN HER HAIR????? AND DRAGON SCALES????? AND SLIT PUPILS????? AND HER SUIT LAYS EVEN MORE INTO THE ASYMETRIC VIBE, HIGHLIGHTING HOW MUCH INDEPENDENCE SHE GAINED AND HOW COMFORTABLE SHE IS WITHOUT THE PRESSURE OF BEING PERFECT ALL THE TIME????? AND SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY????? LIKE SHE’S HAVING SO MUCH FUN????? LIKE SOMEONE IN HER LIFE HAS BEEN A GOOD INFLUENCE MAYBE????? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

… Apologies, I seem to have lost the plot for a minute. Where was I?

Oh, yeah. If one thing is clear from this first look at S6, it’s that Marinette’s secrets will catch up to her at some point. The writers lay it on thick in both Alyanette scenes and with the “Even as superheroes, they share everything” DJWiFi/Love Square contrast! It’s not exactly a surprise, but with how many people claimed we would never hear a single word about the Agreste plotline again, I feel somewhat… vindicated.

Marinette not knowing how to act around Adrien actually makes a lot of sense to me? She’s had to be his rock through his grieving process, meaning she has functionally not left Ladybug Mode since the end of S5. Of course when she gets a chance to chill and actually do regular couple things, she gets terribly scared! Seeing her trying to imitate other couples was so funny and cute… Did you know I love her… And Adrien was such a wet cold lost kitten through it all… Did you know I love him…

That being said, this felt like an Alyanette episode first and an OT4 episode second. I loved seeing these four work as a group again! Nino was simply too precious and I loved Adrinette “““covering up””” for Renapace. Rena grabbed Ladybug’s hand for their little manoeuvre like it was second nature to her, which is very reminiscent of Bumbleby from RWBY, aka the Sapphic Battle Couple!

(And that Chekov’s gun… I’m sure we’ve all seen Chekov’s gun…… We shall not mention it yet……… It’s there and we know where it’s headed…………)

But of course. Of course. The character who shone the brightest in this episode? Was Lila.

It’s clear from the get-go how different she is from Monarch!!! Smarter, more manipulative, but perhaps also… more compassionate, in a twisted way…? She gives her victims the illusion of choice (“Only if you agree, of course” // “And what shall I call you?”), making herself small when she first approaches them only to reveal her full size when the magic takes over.

AND YET it seems to me she must know pain intimately to leverage it so well… Really makes you ponder the Manon theory, especially when comparing Illustrhater and Puppeteer’s costumes…

Another key difference with Gabriel is that she is on the field, constantly observing and taking notes, which is extremely scary but also exposes her to more risks. I’m very curious to learn more about this chameleon magic of hers and what she means by “you’ll know nothing about me, about us, bout them”… She seems to think of herself as the center of a web, a spider rather than a butterfly, if you will!

(Also, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the Diabolo menthe reference was intentional!)

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

What do you think of season 2 of arcane? i've seen quite... a contrasting reaction from the public when compared to the reaction that s1 got

[cracks knuckles] ok, first some context: I was, and still am, largely unfamiliar with the League of Legends video games, which probably colors my perception of Arcane as a whole. The first season was incredible. 10/10 no notes. It's a masterpiece of animation hands down. One of its many strengths is that it sticks to a self-contained story that does not require lore knowledge or even knowledge of who the characters from the games are. It's a character drama wrapped in a steampunk/sci-fi/fantasy aesthetic. It tells a grounded story that follows its characters as their arcs play out all the way through to the end. I love it and habitually rewatched it while waiting for season 2.

...And then season 2 came and it kinda went. I enjoyed the season. The animation, music, voice acting, all incredible and it's what makes the season a joyride. But that's pretty much what it is. A joyride. That grounded story and character drama was largely dropped for bigger stakes and it feels like the season lost the plot. You were invested in the Zaun/Piltover conflict? Let's have Jayce give a half-assed speech about working together to defeat a common enemy and give Sevika a token seat at the councillors' table. You wanted to see how Jinx and Vi's relationship developed after the bombing? Well, Vi says "my sister is gone." Until Vander/Warwick shows up. But they don't really talk about their relationship or how much they've both changed. They're just cool with each other know.

Did you want to see how Jinx deals with the fallout of killing her father figure and embracing the role of the Mad Bomber? Well, she kinda mopes for a bit. Finds a street urchin that magically cures her of her mental instability. oops, street urchin is dead. Jinx is depressed now. fun. It's not like the marketing lead us to believe that Jinx was going to be an actual antagonist, right?

right?

Now, I know trailers and posters can be misleading but come on. Season 1 ended with her fully becoming Jinx and I feel like she was more Jinx-like there than in season 2.

We got less of the sisters than in the first season despite being the emotional core of the story. Part of that is the escalating conflict and having far too many antagonists. We have Ambessa, Viktor, and the Black Rose and they all take up too much screen time (this last one was a huge ??? for me as a noob to the games. Actually, Mel's whole arc in season 2 was so divorced from season 1 that it feels like they just gave her magic powers just so she could participate in the fight). The other part is that when the sisters are together, they don't really say or do anything meaningful. The dialogue is rather boilerplate and there's no emotional weight to their scenes. It's just there.

That's really my problem with season 2 as a whole, it just feels like it's ticking off boxes to get to the big action sequences, and even some of those felt superfluous (did we really need a fight scene with Smeech? Smeech? Who the fuck is he and why should we care?). The funny thing is that, there are a lot of good ideas here. Jinx feeling conflicted about suddenly being seen as a symbol of the people? Awesome! Caitlyn falling under the sway of Ambessa as she mourns her mother and gasses innocent civilians in her mad pursuit of Jinx? Great! Viktor slowly losing his humanity and becoming the Machine Herald while Jayce struggles to right what they have wronged and get his friend back? Excellent! The problem is that they're all crammed together and don't get room to breathe, so everything is rushed and unsatisfactory.

When your first season ends with four people at a dinner table that explores their character dynamics and your second season's climax looks like a Marvel movie, there's a problem.

(also, side tangent: Silco and Vander's backstory was shoddy and contradictory. Making them BFFs with Vi and Jinx's mom was a bad idea. It cheapens Vander's decision to leave behind a life of violence and adopt two orphans. It introduces a plot hole that Silco wasn't around for the kids' childhood and makes that moment when he tries to kill Powder extra weird. PLUS, we have the ever lovely trope of fridging a woman and making her the catalyst of conflict between two male characters 😒

although this season did make me ship these two, so there's that👍)

(another mini tangent: I'm not fond of making a time traveling Viktor the one who gave baby Jayce the rune stone. That scene was one of my favorites from season 1 and the mage actually being Viktor just makes the world feel smaller and less enigmatic YMMV).

So there you have it. An overall okay season but one that pales in comparison to its predecessor.

[demigod-shenanigans]

More goofy thoughts about the Jason needs godly recommendation letters for college fic I’m not going to write (original post I made about this concept here):

-For context, this is in a universe where Leo did the whole Orpheus Eurydice thing to resurrect Jason, so assume ToA happened more or less the way it did in the books. Jason is staying at the Waystation with Leo.

-Because Percy has a Nereid as a guidance counselor, I think Jason should have a wind nymph. Objectively the funniest option: Mellie. She already has a connection to the lost trio, plus her husband was their satyr protector for a while. She’s also gonna need a new job since Tristan probably won’t need an assistant anymore now that he’s no longer working as an actor.

-The thing is Mellie actually tries really hard to be helpful. She makes sure Jason has all the information he needs and can call upon her whenever necessary.

-However. She’s also a sleep deprived mom and definitely mixes things up occasionally. Chuck is a year old now but because satyrs age at half the speed of humans you get to enjoy the whole “baby crying at night to be fed”-period for twice the human baby amount of time.

-She has to bring baby Chuck with her to counseling a few times because she couldn’t find a babysitter.

-When she initially tells Jason about the whole recommendation letters thing she’s really apologetic about it. She feels so bad he has to put up with this nonsense after everything he’s been through. Jason just sighs, resigned, because of course the gods (his dad) would do this to him and just bonks his head against her desk.

-But also Jason wants this. NRU has been his plan since he could walk basically and he may still not remember his childhood super well but he knows he loves New Rome. It was his home for ages. And he likes the thought of it being his home again, at least for a time. Of getting to fall on love with the place a second time. Of getting to spend all his time with Leo and Piper (at least theoretically, if they’re going, which he doesn’t know for sure but he does love the thought of that so much) knowing that they’re safe and get to just be for a few years.

-So, yeah, as annoyed as Jason is with the whole thing, he’s absolutely doing this.

-Jupiter also tried to pull the 25 recommendation letter shit on him that he tried on Percy. Juno talked him out of it and they settled on the same three letters Percy had to get.

-If Juno did the whole “putting a picture/poster of Jason on the godly pinboard”-thing that Poseidon did for Percy you can bet she used one of him from back when he was praetor, in uniform and everything. Jason is not thrilled about this because he looks so capable in that picture and he’s really worried that’ll mean he’ll get very hard quests that he’ll then screw up

-Leo definitely makes a joke about Jason looking like a dorky cosplayer in that picture (he’s not getting into the fact that he actually thinks Roman armor Jason looks kind of hot. They may be dating but there’s no chance in hell he’s admitting this bit)

-Jason goes back and forth on whether to ask Leo and Piper for help with the recommendation letters. Leo’s already done so much for him with the whole resurrecting him ordeal and Piper had to watch him die on the last mission they went on together and isn’t even sure how much she wants to live in the mythological world anymore. He can’t ask even more of them after everything.

-But Leo is also his boyfriend. Who Jason lives with. They go to the same school. And Jason is shit at keeping things from him. Leo immediately realizes something is up and needles him until Jason eventually gives in and tells him. Leo reminds him that the last mission Jason went on without him got him killed so he’s absolutely not letting Jason do this alone

-Leo is also immediately like “hell no we’re not keeping this from Piper. She’s still pissed at you for keeping the prophecy from her for so long. She was furious I didn’t tell her about my plan to wander off into the Underworld. If there’s one thing we really shouldn’t do is lie to her about another thing that could get us both killed”

-And yeah. Piper is not super pleased Jason considered keeping this from her but she’s also immediately down to help. They’ve always been able to handle anything as long as the three of them were together, after all.

-Leo teases Jason about the fact that he’s such a nerd that he’s actually willing to do quests for the gods to get into college. But, well, he supposes NRU was the dream Jason left behind in the Styx when he died, so he did know that getting into this relationship

-Leo also makes at least one joke re: “sorry for resurrecting you I should have read the terms and conditions more closely”

-The first mission is purely light-hearted shenanigans. Maybe Apollo gave them an easy quest to apologize for getting Jason killed. Who knows. They do still find plenty of trouble (as you do when you’re walking around in a group that’s three of the most powerful demigods of your generation, one of which is a big three kid), but they’re fine. Maybe the other two missions won’t be too bad (spoiler alert: the other two missions are significantly worse)

[plurapony]

People on the internet really need to realize that they're not the only person who exists in the world, oh you have dissociative identity disorder? that's cool but just because you have did doesn't mean you automatically know everything about everyone who also has dissociative identity disorder.

People have commborid disorders, people were raised differently, there's outside sources that are going to affect how people act. And if you misunderstood something and reach a negative conclusion? That's your fault, that's not the original posters - not everything is going to be personally catered towards you.

I am autistic and have OCPD. My mind genuinely speaks another language and sometimes things get lost in translation, and especially with the fact syscringe targets larger system blogs I am always paranoid my words will be misunderstood and taken out of context. Of course I'll try my best but at the end of the day it is not my responsibility to mask my words to be neurotypical friendly - this is my blog and if you don't understand? it's your responsibility to add a comment and ask.

Not everything on Tumblr is catered towards you, not everyone is going to act like you and especially!! in a space where autistic people are more prevalent you'd think people would understand that not everything is about them! And not everything is going to be catered to them! I'm begging some of y'all to please broaden your horizons and realize other people have different experiences and perspectives.

[shadowsofdread]

it’s ever so slightly unfortunate but maybe simultaneously interesting (in the sense of getting to see other people’s interpretations) that whenever a post of mine about theron starts going around, inevitably there will be an addition that on the whole aligns with my interpretations of the text and then the poster puts something in there that makes me grimace and go “oooooooh, i don’t agree with that actually”

anyway. theron does not hate the jedi order. one might even suggest, judging by one of his good friends being one, his mother also being one (and though the relationships with those character are complex, he still values them), him having partnered with the sixth line on ziost and took personal responsibility for what happened to them (and was fiercely defensive of surro and wanted to make sure she got back to the order), and whenever he talks about ngani zho, he still calls him master — sorry, i just don’t think a guy who hates the jedi or the jedi order or feels any lasting resentment towards them would do all of those things.

i do think there are particular kinds of jedi he doesn’t get along with (there’s a line floating around in my brain from annihilation but i can’t fully recall it), and he makes a kind of bitter comment about mind-reading in forged alliances if a jedi player gets mad he wasn’t more clear about the operation he was asking you to join (iirc). but these are, like, two instances stacked up against all his other interactions with the order.

like, again we’re going off of memory, but i don’t really think he get too much specific dialogue with him as a jedi as it pertains to your relationship. which, because it’s swtor, could’ve been a cut-content sort of thing, and i do argue it was a missed opportunity, and at the same time, the only reason i think it’d ever be a big deal to theron is in a romance route specifically because of the Attachment Rule. this is one situation - one - where i really think it should’ve come up considered how theron Happened, but, like, if you’re friends with him, why would it matter to him if you’re a jedi or not?

of course, i don’t think it’s the game that people get this interpretation from. what i think it’s from is that godforsaken series of panels from lost suns that gets posted here out of context, and people take that one snippet of a scene from the lost suns comics and go “oh, so theron hates and resents the jedi and so jedi x theron is weird” NOOOOOOO!!!!! [casts fireball]

[tangibletechnomancy]

With the WGA and SAG-AFTRA on strike, I want to take this moment to talk about one really important thing that I've alluded to but haven't gone into depth on, and people don't like to hear because of a lot of the noise, but-

We need to also support VFX unionization efforts (everyone's with me so far right...?), and in doing so, acknowledge the labor actually involved in using new technology (not just AI, but whatever the NEXT big breakthrough is too, and the one after that, and the one after that, indefinitely) and credit the people operating it properly-

Aaaand I've lost some people, but hear me out.

Sure, it's easy to type a single prompt and get a result that looks kinda nice. "Kinda nice", however, isn't going to cut it for most productions! It's like photography that way. As ubiquitous as good-quality cell phone cameras are, anyone can just point and click with some very basic understanding of what makes a passable composition and get something that's pleasant on the eyes.

And yet, generally speaking, people aren't grabbing random people with cell phones off the street to shoot movie posters! Because even a layperson can tell the difference between the photo you get when you stop a random stranger on the street and ask them to take a photo of you and your friends together, and the photo you get when a trained professional sets up the actors in a studio, with deliberate lighting, a thorough understanding of what lens(es) to use, and so much more.

Photography is easy. To be able to get a professional quality result? Not so much. Sure, sometimes a total rando who barely knows how to use a camera will luck out and get the shot of a lifetime - but it sure doesn't happen often and you DEFINITELY can't make a whole profession out of hoping for it.

The same goes for AI.

Most singular AI pieces that are high enough quality to get people really excited take hours, and hours, and hours of work and refinement and retrying and tweaking to get right. I mean, go test out a free image generator and pay attention - you might get a lot of results that look fun just by typing in a very silly prompt, but good enough to be a major part of a movie without any alteration? ....maybe one in a million - and then you still probably have to upscale it! And the standard for "nice to look at for a moment" vs. "good enough to be a major part of a professional production" will only get stricter and stricter as things get more saturated and people see Default Midjourney Style or the like as being super boring and amateurish for anything bigger than a literal one-man production, too (which sucks on a tiny level for me personally because I like Default Midjourney Style, but that's not important).

I point this out because bringing this up in the context of unionization helps to kill the entire motivation behind using AI to undercut manual art. The higher-ups want the world to think it's just mindless, super-easy button-pushing that anyone can do, so it's fine to crunch people even HARDER than they already crunch VFX artists or outsource it to people they can pay subminimum wages, right?

It's not. It never is. It never will be. We need to cut it off at the pass before one more studio even fucking tries it.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Have some Aiden & Kid!Jaskier interaction!!

"It's you!"

Aiden turned his attention towards where Jaskier was sat by the fire alongside the wolves, the bard's face a strange mixture of disbelief and elation, as was his scent. Aiden crinkled his nose slightly as he fought back the urge to sneeze or cough at the unfamiliar combination being directed at him.

"Yeah, it's me. Happy to see you too?" Aiden ventured, despite the fact that it couldn't have been more than an hour since they'd last seen each other. Aiden had gone back out into the courtyard after dinner to run some drills, despite the harsh weather, and get rid of the excess energy he could already feel building up. Vesemir was gracious enough to refer to it as 'extra training' and not act like it was a necessity if they all wanted Aiden to avoid getting so restless he literally started climbing the walls.

"No! I mean...I didn't realise before now until I saw you silhouetted like that with your swords and everything, but it's you!"

Aiden suddenly found himself with a limpet of a bard hanging off him, determined to cling despite the rainwater which now soaked both of them.

"Jaskier, I-"

"Oh right. You probably don't remember, what am I saying, of course you don't - Jaskier you fucking idiot. It's been thirty years, no doubt you've lost count of how many humans you've dealt with in the meantime. But-"

"Jaskier." Lambert huffed out from where he was dozing on the fur which acted as a hearth rug, not even bothering to open his eyes, "Let Aiden go dry off and then maybe some context to go with your twittering, Birdie."

By the time Aiden returned, Jaskier's excitement was enough that even the Wolves were giving him their full attention as he re-entered the main hall. Eskel and Geralt's books lay abandoned on a side table while a now awake Lambert was sat leaning against the wall by the hearth. He pulled Aiden down to sit next to him, the fire hot stone through his thick, wool shirt creating a pleasant warmth against his back.

"Alright then." Jaskier started from where he was sat cross legged in one of the old armchairs, leaning forwards as he once again addressed Aiden directly, "Before I start, do you remember anything about a night in Lettenhove thirty years ago. At the Viscount's estate."

Aiden shook his head, although something about this was starting to niggle the back of his mind.

"Name of Panktratz. Little boy, around six years old?" Jaskier continued, eyes growing sadder as it became clear this memory was potentially very one-sided, "Somehow convinced you to-"

He wasn't sure if it was the name or the wide-eyed look the man was throwing him, but Aiden felt something suddenly tumble into place. "Wait, I do remember that night!"

Aiden fought back a growl as he took in the various toys littering the floor, the miniature four poster bed...whose occupant was an even smaller lump under the covers.

That son of a bitch! That slimy twat had hired him to 'take care' of his nephew so he'd be next in line for the title instead, implying the whole time that his relative wasn't exactly deserving of the title. Aiden had accepted the job - what difference did the inner squabblings of Nobility make to him afterall.

In hindsight he probably should have asked more questions but he didn't have a copper coin to his name and this guy had paid upfront; enough for him to be able to eat regularly and maintain his gear for the foreseeable. He started planning after his employer graciously provided him with a blueprint of the estate and pointed out the targets rooms. He'd failed to mention however, that said target looked to be scarcely old enough to wield that wooden sword properly, nevermind any degree of power.

Fuck it. He should stay as far away from this potential mess as possible. It was bad enough when their employers pointed the finger of blame at them when they assassinated an adult, but a child? That was a complication none of them needed. Mind made up, he turned to climb back out of the window (which had been concerningly easy to coax open from the other side), making sure hood and mask were still firmly in place.

"Hello."

Aiden froze. Speaking of complications....

Rookie mistake! He'd been so caught up in everything else he'd forgotten to keep one ear focused on the other heartbeat in the room. He ran through possible scenarios: he could do what he'd been paid to do, but now the kid was awake there was every chance he'd scream and alert the house before Aiden could even lift a finger. Same potential problem if he tried to leave. He could always cast somne...

"You're a Witcher aren't you? I can see the shape of your swords!" Aiden's nose twitched at the boys scent. Strange. Even through the cloth covering the lower half of his face he could tell the boy didn't smell afraid. He smelled excited, happy even?

"I know all about Witchers. You keep us safe from monsters. Is that why you're here, is there a monster in my room?" The small voice turned slightly fretful as a faint whiff of fear started to sour the air - yet more strangeness in the fact that it was due to imagined monsters rather than him.

Aiden dared to turn and look, something about this child's initial boldness piquing his curiousity (who the hell starts questioning a stranger in their room instead of screaming the place down?). A small boy stared back at him with large eyes as he clutched the soft looking sheets to him like a shield as he curled up in the centre of the bed. "My Uncle Desmond says that monsters like to come out at night and eat little boys. I don't like him. He's mean."

Aiden gave a bittersweet smile at the pout he could see on the little face.

'Oh. You have no idea just how mean, kid.' He thought to himself.

"No, no monsters here. Go back to sleep."

The boys pout turned into a frown, "You didn't even look."

"Because I don't need to."

"Please, Mister Witcher." His bottom lip wobbled in a practiced tremble as his eyes grew even bigger.

Aiden bit back another smile. Kid was good, he'd give him that. Such audacity deserved some sort of reward.

"Alright. One very quick monster check, then you go to sleep. Deal?"

The boy nodded enthusiastically, "My name's Julian, by the way."

"I don't care."

"...are you going to tell me yours?"

"No."

"Can I see your swords?"

"No."

"How about your-"

"How about no talking until we make absolutely sure there's nothing waiting in your wardrobe?"

Turns out the only monstrous thing in Julian's wardrobe was a few hideous combinations of frills and lace. Behind the curtains yielded nothing, as did underneath the bed.

"Ok. Now you hold up your end of the deal and go to sleep."

Julian scowled at him in response from where he was now stood up on the feather mattress to watch rather than huddled under the sheets, arms crossed expectantly.

"What?"

"You're supposed to say sweet dreams."

Aiden blinked at him before replying "Sweet dreams." Monotonously.

"Tuck me in?"

Aiden cast the sign for somne, Julian's body flopping down before he'd even finished. Cheeky little fuck would've been wanting a lullaby next. Still, it wouldn't do for him to get cold, there was no fireplace in this room after all. He grabbed the quilt from the bottom of the bed, not bothering to straighten it as it fell haphazardly over the small body before doing what he should have done thirty minutes ago and taking his leave back through the window.

"I told my parents about you the next morning. They didn't believe me of course. Said it was probably just a dream and that if there had been a Witcher in my room I'd be dead. Although, I suppose that explains why my Uncle Desmond looked apoplectic when I came down to breakfast. I never knew he'd hired you to, you know." He flicked a hand across his neck in a throat cutting motion. "Why didn't you by the way? Not that I'm saying I wish you had or anything. I was a human child, you could've killed me multiple times as easily as scratching an itch but you didn't. Why?"

Aiden's features settled into a frown, "Oh trust me, if your Uncle had waited ten more years it probably would've been a very different outcome. As it is, once I had all the facts, I just decided against accepting a contract on a kid. The one who offered me the contract however..."

Jaskiers eyebrows shot up as he shuffled further forwards, "Are you saying you offed my uncle? He did just sort of... disappear."

"Not exactly. I merely broke back in and left evidence of what he'd planned somewhere I knew the current Viscount would find it. What he chose to do with that I had no involvement in. If he just so happened to be on the lookout for an assassin and I was coincidentally still in the area, well...no Witcher is ever going to turn down such well paying jobs so close together."

Jaskier laughed, causing the wolves to look at him in shock, "Oh don't look like that. I didn't learn the extent of it until I was older but besides trying to murder me he was an absolute cock. Definitely not somebody you'd want in charge of anything!"

"The ones that desperate for power usually aren't." Eskel mused, Lambert raised his cup in agreement.

"You know, I'm so happy that Geralt ended up being the Witcher I ran into in Posada. But when I started out from Oxenfurt, I was actually looking for you."

Aiden straightened up in slight surprise, "Why?"

"Because I wanted to do this." Jaskier got down on the floor and once again wrapped his arms around Aiden, the Witcher returning the hug this time.

"Thanks." Jaskier muttered, "For humouring a scared, probably irritating as hell, little boy."

Aiden tightened his hold slightly, "You're welcome, Julian."

[drdemonprince]

This is prompted by your most recent substack about fame, because my point is extremely tangential, I'm putting it here.

It's interesting to have seen the internet go through many stages. From the newsgroups/BBS era, to internet forums, to blogs, to social media, and how the respective environments shaped things.

In the early days, it's very much a group thing, some people became Big Name posters, pseudonymous, but still a group thing. The blog era was more personal, but still something made by someone who's just a person, even if not literally pseudonymous. Also, still text based, a lot of it even often. Social media changed that, with it's focus on follower counts on one hand and to snippets of text (twitter) or images (insta), and even though it's social media-ness is debatable, video (insta, youtube). The semi-anonymous nature however, was completely lost by now.

The doing it because you enjoyed it, or whatever, also recedes into the background because this is where monetization really takes off. The deleterious effects of the interaction between monetization and follower counts (notability) need no introduction, but painting with broad strokes, make something appeal as broad as possible deepens the flattening effect a medium like video already has, the visual aspects often being more important than the messages. It also has a much higher barrier to entry. Spinning up your own blog is cheap, text takes only a tiny amount data. Video is not. It's expensive to make (especially if you want slick videos), expensive to serve, so it's predisposed to big, single platforms that can leverage economies of scale.

The natural result is that you have a few people with big audiences, instead of many people with small audiences. If audiences is even the right word for that. If I'm talking about say, some TV show on my blog, and someone responds, it's a fairly equal conversation. More between peers, of sorts, just two people talking about something they share. As opposed to a Youtuber who makes a video about it with 100,000s of viewers. Because there are so many fewer voices, you lose the breadth of conversation too, narrowing to a small range of popular topics, and the distinction between You, and You as Your Brand gets eroded.

It's kinda notable in the autism sphere. Blogs where people talk about their experiences, how they dealt or didn't deal with things, have fallen off. Twitter came and went, and now there's Youtube and insta, where everything gets simplified down to a few slides or a 10 minute video about only the most basic aspects. Which is just... sad. I wouldn't have known that autistic burnout is a Thing many people struggle with if not for a blog post a friend came across and shared one day.

There was a comment from someone, a while ago, about how they used to have ASMR videos on, until they were able to get out into nature, and their desire for those videos completely disappeared. We're all very deprived. Of social contact, foremost. The pandemic poured gasoline on an already smoldering fire I feel. Latching onto someone 'famous' in a surrogate of social contact & context, like that person with their ASMR videos, feels like an understandable (though not good) outcome of that, which brings with it very regrettable excesses.

I think this is all pretty much a correct analysis, thank you! Though I would qualify that we have shifted away from the period of the Youtube mega content creator a social media ecosystem of intimate-seeming connections with smaller influencers, these days. Think of your Twitch streamers with a dedicated base of like 50-200 viewers per stream (and a Discord and a Patreon that supports them), the fitness Instagrams that sell meal plans online, the tarot witches and activist influencers offering one on one sessions, etc. Those communities can be more niche, but they still offer the illusion of a connection -- and if anything, that illusion is more strong because the creator is a "micro" famous person, and can take time to interact closely with fans here and there. We might already be heading out of that period of social media, though, especially with the disintegration of Twitter and the slow death of Meta's apps, too. I don't know what comes next but I hope we are due for a reappraisal of all of this, and the norms surrounding it.

[juztscrollingthrough]

Seven by Taylor Swift

I always interpreted this song as someone looking back at their childhood nostalgic memories and remembering that one troubled friend who left a deep mark in their psyche but for whatever circumstances they lost touch with one another.  This edit kind of depicts the time during the “between years" where they thought of one another but never reached out. This one’s especially from Ian’s POV and all those flashback of memories that compelled him to finally reach out and arrange the meet up with Anthony after a nudge from Dianne.  Ian wonders if Anthony still thinks of him, if he still reminisces about their past as fondly as Ian does. 

Below are the lyrics with explanation/interpretation in Ian and Anthony's context:

[POV IAN] :

Please picture me In the trees I hit my peak at seven feet In the swing Over the creek I was too scared to jump in

Ian wants his friend to remember him by the fun escapades they shared together. He reminisces about their first 6th grade science project, all their sleepovers, the trips, their first experience with alcohol near the riverside in Sacramento. In their big group of friends how these two became closer due to the fact that he didn’t know how to drive and Anthony was the one who drove him home after school, how after graduation when everyone left for college, these two remained in the suburbs, unsure about their future.

But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me Are there still beautiful things?

Ian once said "I'm not exactly the poster child for following your dreams, because I never had any”. He never had exact dreams about career or whatever the future had in store for him. Smosh became a place where Ian and Anthony expressed themselves, an outlet to make each other laugh and with smosh blowing up he finally found his dream: to keep making fun stuff with his best friend which for some reason random strangers over the internet connected with. They were riding the high that came with smosh’s success unaware of the fact that this newfound business relationship would tower over their years of close friendship.

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Your braids like a pattern Love you to the moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

Their genuine love and adoration for one another, how they shared every secret with each other, how Ian lied to Anthony about his first kiss in hopes to impress his new friend in 7th grade and in later years opening up about the lie as he finally got his actual first kiss…. in his friend’s bedroom. Slowly these tender moments fizzled out as they grew up, as their channel grew, and so did their stress and workload. Though, they aren't the people they once were, but their mutual love and respect for each other remained deeply ingrained in their hearts.

And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with Me and we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet And just like a folk song Our love will be passed on

Ian knew that Anthony came from a broken home, and how he lost an authoritative figure, his step dad, who abandoned Anthony’s mother and his step-brothers when he was merely a 12 year old, and due to his tumultuous situation at home, Anthony got this heavy responsibility on his shoulders of his family. Anthony feared that his mothers agoraphobia would somehow find a way towards him too and he would stay stuck in this haunted situation which he desperately wanted to break away from. When Anthony fell sick due to his autoimmune disease, Ian’s mom urged his son to visit his friend. The get well soon card he got signed by everyone in their class and gave to Anthony. After their graduation Ian’s parents invited Anthony for a trip to Hawaii and that was the first time when Anthony got to experience something away from his haunted house back in Sacramento. He got to experience what a complete family felt like vicariously through Ian. 

Passed down like folk songs Our love lasts so long

No matter how many obstacles there were, the power of friendship conquered it all. They not only got their company back but also rekindled their friendship. They said everything had to happen the way it happened for them to eventually reunite. They might be complete opposites but there is this red string of fate that lingers between them. Their creative partnership is too strong and in the end they proved that “Friendship always wins”.

[gaykarstaagforever]

1970

The Silver Age was coming to a close in 1970. But DC wasn't quite out of amazing ideas yet.

I'm not going to review this. There is nothing more to say than what this cover says. Superman turns into a giant stupid Superman for like 2 hours, wrecks a bunch of things, then it wears off. It is exactly as cool and entertaining as that sounds. They finally got one right, boys.

Here he is fighting a bunch of soldiers.

Here he is, doing the thing.

Here he is, using the tip of the Washington Monument that he broke off to write a giant message about how oops, he's sorry about all of this. ...Which seems like it kind of contradicts his point, since there were probably a hundred ways he could have written this message without destroying a national monument.

But we're not here to be nerds about writing, we're here to see this:

I'll tell you how he got out of this mess, because it is probably the most fantastic thing in this entire story. Maybe one of the most fantastic things Silver Age Superman ever did. And NO, it doesn't involve one of his stupid awful robot clones.

But first, you need some context. This is the very first panel of the story, after the splash page:

Now. If you're like me, you are immediately lost. Who is Titano, and why are these idiots talking about him in front of a King Kong movie poster?

Well. I don't know how to tell you this, but back in 1959, there was a Superman comic where NASA sent a monkey into Space, and it came back 50 feet tall with kryptonite laser eyes. It did a King Kong with Lois (of course), until Superman defeated it and whisked it away to a Planet of Giants he knew about.

You know that thing in comics, where they'll reference some old story only nerds will remember, and they'll put an asterisk and tell you what issue it was from so you know what the hell they're referring to? Yeah, no, they don't do that here. This panel is all you get. They just expected you to remember that 11 years ago, they did a story where Superman fought a giant monkey from Space.

Which, sure, is memorable, as far as these things go. But 1960s Superman fought all kinds of crazy things from Space! It seems a little presumptuous to assume anyone would remember this specific incident, after 11 years of growth rays and shrink rays and 5th dimensional pygmy wizards and that time Superman was fat. But here we are.

Yes this is relevant to the ending. As the bigness whatever is wearing off, Superman jogs out into the ocean to finish his shrinking. He then returns to Lois and Jimmy as Normal-Sized Clark Kent. This was during the era where Lois and Jimmy were finally both suspicious that maybe Clark was Superman, only because the two were never at the same place, at the same time.

And yes, even they knew about the damn robot clones by now, so they weren't going to fall for that sitcom nonsense.

So Clark, the perpetual liar that he is, has to make sure Lois and Jimmy don't point out how he was conveniently absent the entire time Superman was giant. Before they declare him Superman, he points out to them that while he is here with them now normal-sized, a giant in a Superman costume is still visible, running away through the ocean. See? He can't be Superman. Even if he looks exactly like him, in face and build, but with glasses.

So how does Superman callously deceive his two closest friends?

He flew real fast to the Giant Planet, abducted a confused and terrified Titano (remember him?), created a giant Superman costume and dressed the giant monkey in it, flew him back to Earth, and dropped him into the ocean in just the perfect way where Lois and Jimmy could see him in the Superman outfit, but not see he was in fact a giant monkey. The giant monkey they would both specifically recognize, because of the thing they went through with him before.

Don't worry about Titano though, if you were. Once this lunacy is over, Superman rips his clothes off and dumps him back on the Giant Planet.

...I appreciate that you're probably still trying to process all this. And best of luck with that. But before we end, we need to talk about this:

They buy Cracker Jacks at the movies. Jimmy's box has red kryptonite in it, and that is what makes Superman grow big and stupid, because, and I very nearly quote, red kryptonite makes weird stuff happen, and Clark was watching King Kong, so he was thinking about giant monkeys.

That is the ONLY explanation we get for any of this. No, they don't explain why red kryptonite was in a box of Cracker Jacks. Or why two panels of this comic are an obvious ad for Cracker Jacks, except the boxes don't look like real Cracker Jack boxes, and they always did that for ads, so this can't be one. Plus this isn't a separate page in the comic, this is just...how the story starts.

Was this a tie-in that fell through, last-minute? It has to be, right? LOOK at this. Why did they do this?

Also, King Kong is technically public domain, in the sense that you can print the name and show a giant monkey. But the movie rights are exclusive to Universal. And I don't know if that was true in 1970. So was this ALSO some kind of Universal King Kong tie-in? Again, it isn't a proper ad, it's just part of the story.

Though they very specifically only feature Titano in person in the comic, so maybe this WAS just a reference, and they were careful not to put actual Universal's King Kong in the story.

They just used their own ripoff of him from 11 years earlier. Where he was brown and looked more like a giant chimp. And now, here, he is a black gorilla, sort of. Like King Kong.

...There is a whole entire other feature in this issue, and I haven't even read it yet, because I have been thinking about this story for like a week.

I hope you understand why.

[ven0moir]

S4 Mike was playing a risky game - PART I

You choose how much of this to ✨ Believe ✨

At the conclusion of this exercise I will be trying to piece together what the hell Mike's thoughts were in the van scene, how much he picked up on and what his 'next move' might be following the show's context clues and ideas.

One of the first things we see this season is kids playing games in a rainbow room. This is one of the first show themes the writers want us to stay with.

Next we see El's room. We see her Mike shrine, etc. No games.

When we see Will, we see games + we also learn that he's been painting a lot and El says it is for a girl that he likes because he's been acting "weird." This is the exact information that Mike has.

Then it cuts to Mike and we see games in his room as well.

The objective of Yahtzee is to roll dice ( luck ) to get the highest total score & to get the right combination. Whereas a jigsaw puzzle is based on observation + trying out the placement of each piece to put together the bigger picture.

Bowling, which we see underneath, is about aim & precision ...

Yikes. Important to note that he got so caught up reading El's letter that he lost track of time.

Does he hope the painting is for him? 100%. Does he genuinely believe it is? This is Mr.

We're talking about here. The Worst Assumption, the Worst Case Scenario for Mike is: there's someone that Will likes, and it's not Me.

But he can't acquire more knowledge until he is in California, so meanwhile he's probably wrecking his brain re-reading El's letter to see if he can make any new 'connections' that could reveal to him if it's him or not. ( That Dungeon Master strategic brain working overtime when you have a crush and things are out of your immediate control huh, he's so me )

The episode progresses with Mike being moody downstairs because he's currently wrecked with doubt ( talk about meta ) and then Ted says this to the audience ( Karen ).

Ironic, considering Mike saying in S3 that 'women act on emotion, not logic' so his dad hinting he's not being reasonable = Mike is acting weird.

The scene continues. Suzie is using her smarts to help Dustin change his grades, which is something that later wracks her with guilt.

Next we have Robin and Steve, and the conversation is literally them talking about Vickie's queercoding, which according to Steve she 100% is but Robin refuses to believe because she has to be cautious and cannot take a risk unless there's some sort of textual evidence. The comment she makes connects back to Mike through the labyrinth poster in his room, right above his head when he bends down.

Mike, like Robin, can't just act on their feelings because they don't know if they'd be confessing to the 'wrong' person.

Why does this not fit Will? Because Will is deciding to give Mike a painting with a heart on his shield. He's confident enough to make that move. At the start of the season, Will is optimistic that the thing with Mike is real, whereas Mike is pessimistic that the thing with Will might've been a figment of his imagination.

Anyway, let's continue. I'll summarize what happens next with Mike is moping all day at Hawkins High. Of course, other things he cares about happen that add to this mood, like Lucas ditching him and Dustin to play at the basketball game.

Speaking of games, we have that sequence of the DnD game vs the basketball game. Both games end in victory so we know in the end the good guys will win. But it also means that Mike and Will are going to, inevitably, get together.

Here's the formula their romance follows according to my Byler Master Doc that I'll finish & post one day lmao:

With this in mind, let's go back to Mike ...

PART I CONCLUSION:

Mike starts off the season assuming the worst: that Will is painting for someone he likes that isn't him. But a small part of him deep down is hoping it is for him. He decides to acquire more information before deciding how to proceed but at the airport, he was trying too hard to be indifferent when the truth was that he cared a little too much, and self-sabotaged by discouraging Will from giving him the painting.

He succeeded in making Will believed he didn't care. But at what cost?

He failed to acquire the item he needed/wanted: the painting.

Now in Part II we will explore what happened that gave Mike ✨ Hope ✨

[possibilistfanfiction]

argument pt 2?

[here's argument pt 1 (i guess lol); u don't need to read it for this to make sense fully but if u are so inclined & haven't read it yet it might be helpful context.]

//

you don't know what else you expected. upon a very quick reflection — once your brain reorients itself from beatrice is so hot — you realize you were foolish to think anything else, especially not without a discussion. but, still —

'what are you doing?'

it's clear what beatrice is doing, standing with jillian in one of her fancy labs. she's dressed in all black, a t-shirt delightfully tight on her biceps (focus, ava) tucked into loose pants reinforced at the knees, boots that are tougher than normal but lighter than those you would typically wear in combat — ones she prefers when fighting because it allows her quiet, stealth, full range of motion. 'trying on new armor,' she says, and if it was years ago, the spike of anger that starts in your gut and shoots up your spine — anger, and sheer panic — would have set the halo off.

jillian looks between the two of you — your fists clenched; beatrice's arms crossed over her chest — and says, 'well, i'll be looking over some specs in... another room,' and excuses herself.

wisely.

it hits you, all at once, when you look at beatrice — your fiance, your life partner — that, right now, maybe more than ever, she looks like a soldier. it's not been lost on you over the years, not with her nightmares and the quiet, chronic pain she bears with little more than a tender wince some mornings, the way she loses herself after loud noises or too many people in a crowd, her usually steady hands trembling — it's not been lost on your that beatrice has been fighting for a long time.

'you can't seriously be telling me you're not going to stop.'

'i'm fine, ava. i was cleared by my surgeon and my physical therapist to return to all normal activities.'

you're so used to gentleness, now, even with demons to fight on occasion and the lingering affects of a holy war too great to fully comprehend. you're used to beatrice's loose cotton crewnecks you like to steal; the rust-colored linen pants she loves, light in the breeze off the water. you're used to her whining for posterity about couples halloween costumes, her afternoon naps with her kitten purring on her chest softly. you're used to dates she plans meticulously that you don't even try to mess up because she's so intentional with how she loves you, full of thought and care. you're used to your big house on the beach and her laugh in the afternoon, the freckles on her shoulders, her hand in yours.

'i don't understand.' you release your fists with the progressive muscle relaxation you've worked on in therapy, then take a deep breath. 'you — you want to keep fighting?'

you're the one who changed her dressings after surgery, who took her to months and months of painful and slow-going, steady physical therapy. you're the one who washed her short hair with the gentlest hands you could, even that hurting the bone bruise along the back of her skull. you're the one who filled the prescriptions for her pain meds, who held her hand when she woke up. you're the one who loves her the most. you're the one who thought she was going to die.

'i —' she seems at a loss, for a moment, and then, 'it's my duty.'

'your duty?' it comes out shrill; so much for your muscle relaxation. 'beatrice.'

she clenches her jaw.

'you're telling me that you're, what, just fine getting fitted for new armor because your last vest got punctured by shrapnel and almost killed you?'

'ava.' it's a warning, and a tired one — exhausted from over a decade. 'you're still fighting.'

'i don't have a choice.' you hate yelling but you're overwhelmed by the idea of having to go through what you did again and again. 'don't you want — don't you want to choose?'

she swallows and leans back against the counter. 'if i —' she shakes her head.

'bea.'

'i — i can't.'

'i want to live,' you tell her, an echo of one of the first things you knew years and years ago, and her lower lip trembles. 'for so long i have wanted to live so badly, bea.'

'i know.' her voice is laced with unshed tears.

'i — do you want to?'

she sniffles and tilts her head back to look at the ceiling; it's a sure tell she's trying to compose herself but you can see her shaking, holding it in. 'i never thought i would.'

you step toward her, wait until she offers her hand. you lace your fingers together and wait. 'did you want to?'

'i didn't think — i didn't think i deserved to. i didn't think that me living a good life would be nearly as valuable as, well —'

'dying young in a blaze of glory for god?'

it takes her a moment, because it's the hardest thing in the world to hold, this grief, but then she laughs a watery little sound. 'something like that.'

'okay, but — do you want to now?'

it hangs heavy in the air. you know that she goes to therapy faithfully and you've seen her cry multiple times watching the sunset; she touches you like a benediction. but the answer is impossible to come by, sometimes — worthiness, and belief. 'who am i, ava, if not... this?'

you remember a book you'd read a few months ago, one of mary's favorites, that had made you cry often — where does it all lead? what will become of us? these were our young questions, and young answers were revealed. it leads to each other. we become ourselves. it's easy, to kiss the faithful gold band on her ring finger and then take her in your arms, put a protective hand to the back of her head. 'you're a fucking miracle,' you pray into her skin. 'you're the love of my life. you're a genius, and a black belt, and someone who avidly watches reality tv and tennis, only one of which is worthy of that kind of devotion.' you feel her laugh, snotty, into your shoulder. 'you're so pretty, and so handsome, and really funny when you want to be and sometimes even when you don't. you're remarkably forgiving; an incredible friend, a wonderful sister. you're someone who surfs because the ocean is beautiful and you want to see the sunrise. you're a very hot lesbian, and you're my fiance, and you're going to be my wife. you're my life partner. you give the world so much more than it has ever, ever deserved.' you both back up, just so you can look into her eyes. you hold her face in your hands, as gently as you can, run your thumb along a cheekbone, the constellation of freckles there that have bloomed in the sun by the sea. 'you will always serve the world, i know that about you. you're a child of god,' you say. 'you're beatrice.'

it doesn't surprise you when she kisses you gently and then tucks her face into your neck and lets out a full body sob. you rub her back through it, hold her up when her legs grow weak. eventually, as she always does, she calms and composes herself, steps back and dries her tears, runs a hand along her hair. her eyes are red but she takes a deep, steadying breath.

'thank you.'

you kiss her cheek. 'you're also my favorite.'

'now that i do know.'

you grin. 'don't get me wrong, like, fuck the military industrial complex obviously, but this is kind of a look.'

she rolls her eyes but her shoulders settle and then she looks at you seriously. 'i want to live a long life.'

'yeah?'

'so badly.'

'it's a little scary, right?'

she lets out a shaky, honest breath. 'yeah.'

'well, we'll figure it out.' you kiss her, the first of a kind stretching out ahead of you, infinite. 'i have an idea?'

she sighs, and you can't help but laugh.

(you watch her slice a plum on the shore of the lake in the alps you used to train at all those years ago, the lake you knelt down in front of her and she agreed to be your wife. the fruit is juicy and a color you can't quite bring yourself to comprehend: blood, your favorite sangria at the beach, natal dahlias. the house you stay at now — a few quiet days before you head home — is small and gorgeous, with a giant bed and a wall of windows that overlook the mountains. i love you here, you tell her — i love you like this; i love you however you are meant to be — i love you in peacetime, and you watch her slice a plum, the juice red and sticky on her fingers. she puts it to your mouth gently and the taste explodes like a kiss. she smiles and you feed her too; she sucks your finger into her mouth and you close your eyes — there will be time enough to touch her later. the water is calm, and the flowers are in bloom, and the sun shines bright.)