#this is how I'm going to journal the films I've watched from now on

[cinemaocd]

Tag Reviews Vol. 1

November Films Watched:

Irma Vep (1996): #ok we have finally watched this it has been on the list for more than five years #interesting commentary on the film industry-angsty arthouse movie that makes fun of angsty arthouse movies #revealing a wriggling mass of hippocrites #paranoiacs and burn outs behind the cameras#and one isolated woman who was being fetishized both as part of the parody and by the film itself #it was really ahead of its time lmao

Ladies in Retirement (1944): #yeah this is really intresting#kind of a hard sell after recently watching arsenic and old lace which is almost a direct parody of this #but some interesting performances and I love having women led stories where the main disruption is a man...such a lesbian vibe about this#especially Elsa Lanchester who stomps around tidying the moors and making ugly arrangements of shells and plants and driftwood in the house#basically me if I had no job or husband/child#anyway...this was interesting though not a hit with the boys and I can see why I guess. Ida Lupino is something to watch in it.

Mermaids (1990): #it's a whole family of manic pixie dream girls and bob hoskins has to try to keep them from murdering each other

#you know I love a bob hoskins lead dramedy#also I learned watching this that my son pronounces “cher” with a hard “CH”#(imagine baltimore accent saying “chair” and that's how he says it I swear)

The Big Sleep (1978): #oh man this was dreadful#the earlier Mitchum as Marlowe film-farewell my lovely--is a classic and one of the great noirs of all time#this follow up...is not#for one thing they just skipped the period setting and moved the whole thing to England because it's still the 1930s in England at all time#the only thing going for it is that it is way easier to follow than the far more stylish and famous 1946 film#thanks to watching this I actually KNOW what happens in the fucking big sleep

Working Girls (1931):#working girls#dorothy arzner#dorothy hall#judith wood#this was good#comedy but very grounded in reality and feels really ahead of its time like something that would be make in the 60s to be honest#pre-code hollywood. #this is a little gem of a comedy...very low key and with a grittier outlook than you'd expect from a few years later#pre-code hollywood#judith wood is really pretty good in this I don't understand why her career died when the code came in

Time Without Pity (1957): #still photos don't michael justice he is such a mess in this and not in a hot way at all#it's the total dissolution of a man's body and soul before your eyes the whole thing is kind of torture to watch from beginning to end#but the cast is stellar and joseph losey cranks up the tension and doesn't let go for a second#without pity indeed#also Dirk Bogard is in it for .5 seconds#as are joan plowright and peter cushing

Canterbury Tale (1944): #Oh I forgot I actually like this movie even though it's slow and ham fisted but I don't mind the whole glue man thing #I kind of wanted Eric Portman not to be real but to turn into some kind of sprite and disappear #Anyway I've been in a very Cahtedral-y mood since being in the old country #and also revisiting the Mirror and the Light#anyway dennis price is really underused in this #but it just makes you appreciate him all the more when he does appear

The Big Sleep (1946): #this film is really confusing but worth making multiple passes at just for the dialog/interactions which honestly every scene is great

[astonmartingf]

BEST OF INTERVIEWS: KATARINA LOMBARDI (MERCEDES AMG)

LICENSE TO DRIVE ; f1 driver!oc x platonic! f1 grid

. . . best interview moments with katarina during her time in mercedes amg (2017-2020)

amgf i said i'm not writing but really i just miss her, every single day she's on my head actually, the amount of hcs i have in my notes about miss katarina... crazy

"What is your go to activity if you're sad?" Katarina reads the question from a random pile of papers before setting them aside at the edge of the table.

"I watch Kimi winning the 2007  championship in Brazil. To me, that was an important highlight. I was ten at the time, I felt represented as a Finnish-Italian, Kimi winning Ferrari... Good times."

"In an interview you said that you started karting when you were three." The reporter asks, as you nod your head in reply.

"Did that make your journey easier or harder as a driver?"

Katarina thinks for a moment before speaking to the microphone, "It definitely had some advantages, the journey wasn't the easiest to be here, as a female there were some hurdles that I had to wait and make space for myself. But there were definitely privileges that I was aware of, one being that I lived in Europe and there are a lot of tracks to practice, not only that but my mother also taught me a lot as a former racing driver. These can happen hand in hand, so when people discredit my achievements as a woman in motorsports by countering that I am privileged, I am aware of that. Racing is a privilege, and to see how far I've made as a woman makes me even proud of my achievements. It wasn't the easiest, but it's rewarding."

"What are the three things Katarina Lombardi can't live without?" Lewis asks, reading the question on a cut piece of paper inside the bowl.

The female tilts her head, "Maybe food? What? I could just answer things like water, food, air, or do you want personal things?"

Lewis cackles at the side, clutching his belly, "Okay, I think this is to get to know you more so maybe apart from the obvious I mean... what else? I also can't live without these three so I think they meant a personal item."

Katarina laughs, thinking once more, "My notebook, I have a journal— well multiple journals so those I would want to keep with me. Maybe my cross necklace as well, we have to remove jewelry when racing so sadly I remove it but instead of looking for my watch I want the necklace back on after races. Last would be my manager's cell phone number."

"What? That's so random." Lewis exclaims, laughing once more at her outlier response.

Katarina shakes her head, "No you don't get it. I haven't got my phone number memorized, but my manager's, I know it at the back of my head. If I'm in trouble or someone wants to ask me something I give them my manager's number, easy. Not their personal number of course, the work one but yeah, it saved me a couple of times... A lot of times actually..."

"How well does Katarina Lombardi, know about Lewis Hamilton?" Lewis reads the cue cards in front of his hands, filming another video for Mercedes.

"Not that well I'm telling you." The female whispers under her breath while playing with her own cards.

"That's not even the question yet!" Lewis steals a glance with raised brows appalled by his teammates response. "Not that well? I'm offended."

Katarina bursts into laughter, "Wait that wasn't the question? Shut up!"

Lewis stares blankly into the camera, pulling the cards closer to him, shaking his head in disappointment. "Wow... I thought we had something— I thought we were friends, and you pull this."

Katarina shakes her head in denial, "No wait! Let me explain, I thought that was the question. What are we filming today?"

"It's a quiz, look here it reads, "How well does Katarina Lombardi know about Lewis Hamilton" that's the video about."

"I thought the video was about something else, I swear believe me." Katarina shakes Lewis' arms as the older man turns away from her.

"Now you're just saying whatever you want." Katarina is left laughing, trying to console Lewis sulking at the other side of the couch.

"What do you think of the 2019 season?"

Katarina scrunched her nose, "Worst season ever."

Her reply caught other drivers off guard, Max, Sebastian, and even her own teammate Lewis turned around in confusion. Katarina shrugs, "I mean, Kimi is not in Ferrari so it's shit."

Her reply caused other reporters and journalists to laugh, "What's so funny?"

Max shakes his head, pulling the microphone to him, "You caught us there, I thought you've gone crazy, you have five, six wins and constantly on the podiums. When you said the season was the worst I was about to argue."

"I thought it had something to do with me, please, watch your words. Almost gave me a heart attack because what was so bad about the season?" Lewis adds laughing along with the others.

"Well I'm sorry, I can score points and still be sad, without Kimi who else will represent me? We all know I'll never drive for that silly horse."

The drivers turn around to face Sebastian, lips pressed in a thin line, forcing himself not to laugh, "I'm contractually not allowed to say anything but I think everyone in the grid knows that."

"What are your prospects for the upcoming season?"

Katarina grabs the microphone, thinking about giving a PR answer or one of her own, "Well, I don't have a seat for the 2021 season but I'm always available and talking to teams so, I guess we'll figure it out together."

"How is the season going on for you at Mercedes right now?"

"Well, it's still the same, you got to perform for the team, even now more since I need my portfolio to look good for the next team. I'm joking it's still fine, I'm talking to Toto and Lewis and it's all good, I do know who is replacing me so it's fun and exciting. You'll find out soon, no need to worry about me and the upcoming season, I'm still here to race for the team and hopefully the season will be good to us and for my future endeavors. Thank you."

[lyralit]

4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

k.

[something-tofightfor]

Liminality: Part 5

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Word Count: 11,210

Rating: M. This one is a LOT of plot, but there's some violence / weaponry / language in it

Summary: Flying with Frankie is everything you hoped it would be - and so much more.

But the longer you're in Tampa, the more you begin to question what you're doing ... and what you're not telling him.

Confirmation on your reason for choosing Tampa comes at a cost.

Author’s note:

There was a very long delay, but lucky for you, I've got 2 more full chapters written after this ... they just need some editing, so I am well ahead of where I want to be with this one. I promise this chapter will have a follow-up VERY soon.

If you have any questions or comments or just want to talk about Frankie, please feel free to reach out. I'm SO INTERESTED in any theories you may have about where this is going, too.

... Sorry about the cliffhanger.

Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)

He made you watch a short video presentation about helicopter safety before you stepped out onto the tarmac. 

But instead of being stock footage, it was Frankie himself going over the parts of the aircraft, and Pope demonstrating the things he was saying while someone - you assumed one of the Miller brothers - filmed with an only slightly shaky hand. 

You bit back a laugh when you realized what you were watching, bending an elbow and leaning forward to look at the TV screen, chin resting on your palm. I can’t believe this. “You’re going to miss something if you laugh.” Frankie paused the video and murmured the words from where he was standing, leaning against his desk with both arms crossed over his chest and the remote held in one hand. “And then I -”

“Frankie, how do you expect anyone to pay attention to anything when the two of you are explaining it?” Glancing over at him, you scoffed. “Two of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen in my life explaining how not to trip over the skids and that I can’t vault myself into the helicopter by holding onto the door? I -”

“Well you retained that information, so it must have worked.” He raised a brow and then pointed back at the TV with one finger of the remote hand. “Now pay attention to this next part, it’s important. Also, it took us like five takes to get it right because we were both laughing so hard.” 

The video started playing again and you watched Frankie demonstrating the harness checks, showing off just how securely passengers were fastened into the seats. Pope could probably strap himself in in his sleep. That was likely why they’d been laughing, but in an attempt to follow Frankie’s instructions, you kept quiet and focused on the screen, eyes on the way that even though you could tell it was awkward for him to be on camera, Frankie’s enthusiasm for flying shone though with every safety rule he explained. 

When the screen went dark, you were quiet for a few seconds and then turned your attention back to the man, grinning. “If you ever decide you don’t want to be a pilot, Frankie, I’m pretty sure that you’ve got a future in -”

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes, standing up straight and setting the remote down. He’s embarrassed but I can tell he likes it, too. “Beats havin’ to give that same talk four times a day. Cuts down on wait time before we can take off, too.” He pointed. “Usually I have a guy out there getting things ready so all we’ve gotta do is walk out and get in. But today, it’s just me.” 

“Why?” You stood, too, watching as he gestured for you to follow him toward a small set of lockers. “Won’t you need someone to -” He opened one of the lockers and you slipped your bag off from over your shoulder, sticking it inside. “To help get us off the ground and all that?” He shook his head and when you stepped back, spun the dial of the combination lock to secure it. 

“We’ll still have ATC. That’s all I need.” He put his hand on your shoulder and when you met his eyes, Frankie winked at you. “We’re good. I promise.” You trusted him, and so when you stepped outside and he locked the door behind you, you didn’t ask any questions. “You ready?”

“I’ve been ready.” Grinning, you made your way toward the waiting helicopter - both doors open but firmly attached - Frankie directly next to you. The walk was short, and when you stopped next to the open passenger door, you felt his hand on your back, guiding you forward. “Just get in?”

“Yep.” He pushed, clearing his throat. “Go ahead and strap yourself into the front seat and then I’ll give it a once over.” You were acutely aware of his eyes on you while you settled, pulling your phone from your back pocket and reaching over to set it on Frankie’s side while you buckled in. 

You concentrated on what you were doing, wanting to impress him - and once you had all three straps fastened, you looked over, raising a brow. “Go for it, Morales. Tell me how I -” He moved while you were still speaking, stepping closer to you and reaching out with both hands. 

He was focused on what he was doing, too, but you were focused on him - the way his fingers deftly checked the straps and buckles, the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips, the movement of his eyes as he assessed your status and safety. But he stayed quiet, even when he tugged on a strap to tighten it over your chest, and especially when his hands moved to your waist, fingers dipping beneath the harness to ensure it wasn’t too tight. 

“You did good.” He finally finished, raising his head to meet your eyes. “Not too loose, not too tight.” Your smile broadened at his praise, lips parting as you prepared to speak, but he didn’t let you. “I’m 80% positive you won’t fall out.” 

The smile turned into a scowl, one hand rising to shove him away, but Frankie caught that hand, fingers curling around yours and squeezing. Your breath caught in your throat when he lifted that hand toward his lips, but before he could kiss them, he froze, his eyes going wide. He let you go so quickly it was like you’d burned him, Frankie shaking his head back and forth as he stepped backwards, his fingers closing around the door handle and pushing it shut. I hope he didn’t see how disappointed I am that he stopped.

He disappeared moments later, walking around the back of the helicopter, and you realized he was taking a few extra seconds to compose himself. Shit. He didn’t need to stop. He … You heard him swear, though the sound was muffled, and when the man appeared by the other door, you saw resolve in his eyes. “I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t professional, and I -” Oh, Frankie. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” Shrugging your shoulders, you pointed. “Can you hand me my phone, though? I don’t want you to sit on it.” He looked relieved as he did what you asked, passing you the phone - which you tucked between your knees - before taking his seat and reaching for his own harness straps. 

He was quick with them, the muscles in his arms flexing and once again capturing your attention. But you were unprepared for him to turn his head toward you, tongue running along his lower lip before he spoke up. “Sunglasses?” Shit, I knew I forgot something in my car. 

“They’re in my glovebox.” You sighed. “Whoops.” He grinned, reaching down and unzipping a pouch between the seats. “I’ll be alright, Frankie, I -”

“You’ll need ‘em. Trust me.” Frankie nodded, holding out a pair of aviators to you - black lenses with gold frames. You took them from him and slipped them on, turning your head to the side and watching him put on a second pair. “You look better in those than I ever did.” So he’s still flirting, but … “And then you’ll need to put these on, too.” Frankie reached for one of the headsets near the console, passing it to you. “Otherwise we won’t be able to talk while we’re in the air.” He reached for his set then, his gaze breaking away from yours. 

Settling them over your ears, everything was muffled, but only moments later, after he started flipping switches and pushing buttons, you heard Frankie’s voice again, talking to what you assumed was the airport tower and beginning preflight communication. Getting comfortable, you leaned back in your chair and waited, your excitement building. 

The almost-knuckle kiss had been a blip on the day, but Frankie seemed to have recovered as he settled into a routine that he’d done countless times before, his confidence filling the small space  that you were sharing. 

“You ready?” He looked over, the man’s smile infectious. “I’ve been thinking about this all day.” 

“Ready.” You held up your phone. “Can I take a picture of y -”

“I’ll take one in the air for you.” He nodded, and though his eyes were hidden behind tinted lenses of his own, you knew that the corners of his eyes were crinkled. Wish I could see that. “Alright, here we go.” 

There were a few seconds of shakiness as you rose off of the ground, the whirring of the blades above your head thrumming through the helicopter. Things evened out as you gained altitude, everything beneath you growing smaller except for the expanse of water, the surface of it glittering in late afternoon sunlight. “It’s gorgeous, Frankie. You leaned forward as much as you could with your restraints, eyes on the view in front of you, but you were speechless. 

You’d been on aerial tours before, but you hadn’t done it over water, making the experience entirely new for you. “It is.” He nodded, the motion visible in your peripheral vision. “We’ll head north so you can see the skyline and a couple of the parks and then circle back around west to the Bay.” 

You agreed, turning you camera on, and pointing it toward the windshield. For the next few minutes, you focused on what you could see - the buildings growing larger and closer, the scenery whipping by beneath you, and Frankie’s hands on the control stick and collective. He was in full control, and you were in awe of it, managing to sneak in a couple of pictures of him with the others you took. “On the right’s Lower Hillsborough, and then on the left, the other side of the highway?” He gestured with one finger, jutting his chin out. “Cypress Creek.” 

As you approached, you felt your heart sink. They’re both huge. I’ll never be able to narrow it down enough. It was beautiful though, the greenery stretching out almost as far as you could see. “I didn’t realize they were connected.”

“Yep.” He nodded, glancing over at you. “And there’s a campground at Hillsborough where Benny’s buddy does the tours from.” He pointed. “Starts up north, and comes down back toward where we are.” Good to know. You made a note in your app and then set your phone down, keeping your eyes forward. “It’s a lot of fun. I think you’ll like it.” 

“I’m sure I will.” You paused, thinking. “Since it’s Benny’s buddy, does that mean he’d be going with me?” 

“If you want.” Frankie looked over, shrugging. “I already told you, we’re all more than happy to keep you company.” What if I wanted it to be you that kept me company? “Gonna swing back around now, alright?” 

You agreed, shifting in your seat, and for the next few minutes you watched the sprawl of Tampa’s suburbs pass beneath you, the edge of the Bay looming in the distance. That attention turned to Frankie, though, when you noticed that the sunlight was changing, brightness dimming slightly. Is it already… “Frankie, did you time this so that…” 

“Maybe.” He smiled then - a wide one that lifted his cheeks, the man’s dimple on full display. “Definitely.” 

“I…” You didn’t know what to say, so you kept quiet, watching as you got closer to the Bay and the sun setting on the horizon. This is why I needed sunglasses. Lifting one hand, you bit down on your knuckle, phone forgotten as you eyed the sky’s changing colors. He stayed quiet, too, but your eyes drifted from the windshield to Frankie after a few minutes, the man silhouetted in light, his profile defined. 

Your breath caught again, and as your lips pressed together to keep from letting out a gasp, you nodded twice. He did this for me and yet he stopped himself earlier. It makes no sense. You understood that he could simply write off the sunset flight as wanting to promote the business and give you a good flight for your first one, but deep down, you knew it was more than that. 

“Hope you don’t mind we’ll be in the air for a little longer than you thought.” He looked over at you, his smile soft. “Figured you’d like to see the Gulf from a different viewpoint.” Your jaw dropped, Frankie’s smile growing. “And sunset’s the best time to do it.” 

When the Gulf came into view a minute or so later, you let out a surprised “oh!”, eyes widening. “Frankie it’s… wow.” He nodded, continuing to fly straight out and over the water, the waves there a little larger than the others you’d seen earlier. All you could see were water and sky, and in that moment, you understood why Frankie loved flying so much. If this is what he can see here, I can only imagine what he’s gotten to see in other places. “Thank you, Francisco.” You spoke quietly, hoping that he could hear you. “This is …”

You took a few pictures, but didn’t even know if they were in focus or not, and then switched to a video, panning across the interior of the helicopter and making sure to get him in there, too. He made a wide turn while you filmed, putting your side of the helicopter toward the sunset, and then, for the first time, he took one hand off the control, pointing at you. “Lemme have that.” 

You switched to the camera and then handed it to him, Frankie leaning in and you doing the same, the man’s thumb flipping the camera so that your faces appeared on the screen. He took a few - both of your smiles wide - and then handed the camera back, returning his hand to its previous position. “Hey, Frankie, look at me.” 

You took one from your side, the lighting much different, and then put the phone down again, deciding that you were just going to enjoy the remainder of the flight. I can’t believe he did this. As the sun continued to set, you glanced down, heart thumping. All he can do is tell me to stop, right? You reached over, settling your hand on Frankie’s arm and curling your fingers around it. 

He didn’t move. You felt his muscles tense - and then he relaxed, his shaky exhale and a hum of approval audible through the headphones. Neither of you spoke after that, and you focused on what you could see through the windows - shades of blue and pink and orange in the sly blending together as the golden orb sunk toward the horizon, casting the day’s final brightness across the waves. It was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever seen, and you fought against a lump in your throat as you thought about your situation. 

You were lying to Frankie - and his friends. You weren’t quite using them, but by being dishonest, you were cheapening the experiences you had with them, including the one with Frankie that day. Yes, you were writing the book and updating the site, but it wasn’t the whole truth, and you knew that if Frankie ever found out, he’d be upset. And so would his friends. 

In previous cities, you’d rationalized it by reminding yourself that telling the truth would lead to people shying away from you in disbelief and labeling you crazy, and you didn’t think that would be any different in Florida. But this is the first time I feel bad about lying. 

Frankie’s arm shifted beneath your touch, and you felt the helicopter turn again, putting him between you and the sunset, and without even thinking about it, you swung your head in that direction. It gave you a reason to look at him, and though you knew that he knew that it was happening, he didn’t react. The man’s chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm under the dark t-shirt he was wearing, his breathing even. I won’t be here long enough for it to matter. 

You kept your hand in place until Frankie swung the helicopter again, the flight path carrying you back toward the airport, but neither of you said anything else. 

The landing was smooth, Frankie putting you down a little closer to the building than you had been on takeoff. You watched in awe as he worked, his concentration never wavering until he’d flipped the engine off, silence surrounding you and made somehow deeper by the headset you still wore. 

You removed yours when he reached for his, hanging them back on the small hook in front of you, and then reached for the harness buckles, undoing them in reverse order. It was Frankie that broke the silence first, the man reaching up to remove his hat and run his fingers through his hair. “I’ll take you back inside and open that locker so you can get going before I come back out and do my post-flight check.” He nodded, glancing over. “That alright with you?” 

“Yep.” Reaching for the door handle, you pushed it open and then carefully climbed out, wobbling slightly when your feet made contact with the ground. Frankie joined you seconds later, the two of you making your way back to the door of his office silently. 

It wasn’t a tense silence, but you could feel that he was waiting for something, and as he twisted the knob, you decided to break the tension. “That was really amazing, Frankie. The view was … I wasn’t expecting the sunset or for us to be up there for so long, so you’ve … it’ll be hard to top that.” 

“Just doing my job.” He gestured for you to walk into his office, following close behind. “But that was a really great sunset, right?” 

“It was. Do you do a lot of the sunset -”

“Not like that.” He shook his head, taking the final steps toward the lockers and tossing his hat onto his desk. “Not as a surprise. My clients usually… they book a specific thing, and I stick to it.” You watched his back - shoulders pulling the material of the shirt tight over them. “But you seemed pretty open to whatever kind of flight I thought would be best, so…” 

The locker popped open, Frankie moving off to the side for you. “You were right, it was great.” Stepping forward, you reached for your bag and then stopped, turning the top half of your body toward him. “I do need to tell you, though, that a surprise sunset helicopter tour is pretty romantic. So I’m surprised you did that, especially after you stopped yourself from kissing my -” 

He moved again, Frankie stepping forward and then using both arms to cage you in against the still-closed lockers. The man lowered his head to press his lips against yours, sucking in a quick breath at the last second. The motion was swift but the kiss was not, the pressure of his mouth gentle as he made contact, though he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to deepen it. Oh. Oh, alright. You wrapped your arms around him and sighed, feeling relief that he’d been the one to make the first move that day. I wanted to, but … 

He backed away, just enough that you could see his eyes, and when Frankie opened his mouth to speak, you cut him off with a single shake of your head. “Don’t you dare apologize for that. I wanted it just as much as you.” He was surprised for a moment, the look in his eyes changing to something you’d never seen in them before - and then Frankie kissed you again, taking another half step forward so that his entire body was pressed to yours. 

He bit your lower lip that time, the pinch of pain causing your lips to part and giving his tongue an opening, Frankie slipping it through to meet yours. But that kiss was short and messy, one of his hands moving from the lockers to the juncture of your neck and shoulder and squeezing, the man groaning out your name when he pulled away a second time. ��Wasn’t going to apologize,” he mumbled, lips trailing over your cheek and to your ear. “Was just gonna see if you were interested in continuing it somewhere else.” Somewhere else? “My truck’s outside, and my house is -”

“There’s a desk right there.” Your eyes flicked toward it and then back to Frankie’s, unblinking. “That’s good enough for me.” 

— 

In the days that followed your first flight - and second night spent - with Frankie, you settled into a routine in Florida. 

You spent your days exploring and researching, some of the guys joining you on hikes and excursions, pointing out restaurants and places to visit as they drove you around. They were animated, all three of them truly welcoming you into the little circle they’d formed in their Delta Force days. It made you happy to be included, because they were all just as friendly and genuine as they’d been the first night you met. 

They made you feel safe, too, ensuring you didn’t get lost in parks and nature preserves, or go too far out of your way when you were searching for things to see and do. And there was no shortage of stories told, either, Benny and Will and Pope telling you all about each other 

The only one you didn’t see on your own was Tom, and that was because of all five of them, he never reached out the way the others did. That was fine with you; he’d been friendly enough, but you could tell that he had little interest in getting to know you, even on a limited basis. 

And when it came to you and Frankie, you settled into that routine easily, too. You didn’t see him every day, and every time you were together didn’t lead to sex, but what you had between you was comfortable. You talked every day, though, text and voice messages sent back and forth while you were taking a break from whatever it was you were doing and he was between flights, and one long phone conversation while he was on his way to drive and see Carmen. 

You were closer to Frankie than you had been to anyone that you could remember. 

Even though you knew that would make finishing your assignment and leaving Florida hurt, you did nothing to keep yourself from deepening the connection. There were times when you wanted to tell him what you were really doing in Florida - usually when the two of you were curled up on the couch together, the TV playing quietly in the background, or when you were eating dinner together, recapping your days. 

But you never did. Common sense and concern over pushing him away outweighed the desire to be honest. So you kept what you were really in Florida for from Frankie in an attempt to keep at least some semblance of what you were used to intact for as long as you possibly could. 

By the morning of your third flight, you still hadn’t heard from Alec, though you’d seen your aunt post a picture of the three of them on her Facebook, their smiles broad. So you knew that not only had they made it to Nevada - she also knew about the pregnancy. Good for them. 

There was only a week until the next full moon, and you’d narrowed down the places you thought most likely for the wolf’s probable location from six to three, based solely on the previous attacks. One of them - Green Swamp - was where Frankie would be taking you that afternoon, but the problem was that it was so large, there were multiple campgrounds to choose from. 

You planned on asking Frankie which one was the most popular, but before you could even get the words out, he was wrapping you in his arms and kissing you hello, zero hesitation when it came to being affectionate with you. “We’ve gotta be on a little more of a tight schedule today.” He stepped away from you, resituating the hat on his head. “I have a flight after yours.” 

His eyes moved from your face to his desk, one hand reaching out to touch the wood. I wonder how often he thinks about that afternoon. “No defiling the desk today. Got it.” Wrinkling your nose, you gestured to the lockers. “Same one as usual?” He nodded and you twisted the combination lock into the correct series of numbers, stuffing your bag inside and  then shutting it, sunglasses held in your right hand. “Remembered them today.” 

He grinned at you and then reached out, waiting for you to take his hand. When the two of you stepped out into the sunshine, you turned your face up and toward it briefly, inhaling. “Do you want to have dinner tonight?” Frankie urged you forward, clearing his throat. “I have late flights a couple days next week, and my schedule’s packed because of all the people getting last minute vacations in before school starts again, so …” He waited for you to climb in and then leaned forward, reaching for the harness straps before you had the chance. “So it might be kind of hard to see each other, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m blowing you off.” 

You didn’t reply right away, instead focused on how quickly he got you strapped in, his fingers trailing over the straps - and in turn, your chest before dropping lower, pulling the one between your legs up and buckling it. “Dinner sounds good.” You nodded, waiting for him to look back at you. “Want me to cook?” Frankie shook his head and then leaned in, lips landing on your cheek. 

“Nope. Ironhead invited us to the bar.”

“Us?” He nodded, smiling as he backed away and shut the door, walking around the front of the helicopter and climbing in beside you. “I’m included in that now?”

“You are.” He handed you the headset and then put his on, leaning forward to flip a few switches after strapping himself in. “They’re not stupid. They know we’ve spent a lot of time together over the past couple weeks.” He pressed another button and spoke to air traffic, and then you watched him nod, switching the channel back, placing his hands on the controls. “So yeah, when he texted me earlier, he invited you, too… by name.”

You grinned at that, taking a deep breath as you lifted off of the ground and rose into the sky, Frankie maneuvering the aircraft just as smoothly as he had the previous two times. It was a twenty minute ride to the preserve, but you and Frankie filled it with conversation - the man pointing out landmarks every now and then and you making note of them, though you kept your eyes on what was in front of you for most of the flight. 

“So, Frankie…” You settled back against the seat, turning your head toward him. “Green Swamp is one of the places I want to camp. I know there are a ton of places in the preserve, but … what’s the best? Do you know? I want something that’s sort of … out of the way, you know? Isolated? Where it’d be really quiet?” He didn’t reply right away, but when he did,  he looked over at you smiling. 

“Our RV is actually permanently parked in Richloam.” His smile widened when your jaw dropped. “You’re right. There are plenty of places to camp, but we picked one that was pretty out of the way, and Pope talked the guy into renting out a space year round. There’s no generator or electric hookup or anything like that, we just use the RV itself and have a couple backup batteries and solar panels.” No, shit. “I’d be more than happy to take you up there, whenever you want to.” 

“Just not next week.” He nodded, returning his attention to the window. “Hmm.” You leaned forward as the city thinned out, an expanse of trees and other greenery appearing in front of you. “Whoa, that’s huge.” You blinked a few times in disbelief. “Frankie, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“It’s probably the biggest in the area. I’m not completely sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me.” He pointed. “Our RV’s at the north end, about an hour from home.” That’s not too far. “But if you’ve got someone that knows the area, it’s easier.” He veered off to the right, flying on the edge of the trees, and you looked out your window, eyeing the greenery below you. “If you wanted to get out here next weekend, I can probably …” He sighed. “You can ask Benny tonight. I think he’s…. Free next week. I know you probably won’t want to wait, but …”

“I’ll wait for you, Frankie.” Reaching over, you squeezed his wrist, careful not to jostle the control. “Unless it’ll be weeks, because in that case …” In that case, I could be onto something else, and … “Or I could just come out here by myself during the week sometime, you know? I don’t want to invite myself, but I also don’t want to inconvenience anyone, and …” 

“No.” He shook his head, his tone harder than you’d ever heard it. “Explaining how to get to the site is a little difficult, and the last thing I want is to have to send a search team out for you because you got turned around. Reception’s kind of shitty.” It made sense, but it was still disappointing. He’s just looking out for me. “We’re gonna turn back now, otherwise we’ll be flying straight to Disney.” 

“Ooh, that would be fun.” You laughed, nudging him with one elbow. “I’ll parachute out when we’re over Magic Kingdom.” 

“The Mouse Police would be all over that. And me, too.” He shook his head, frowning. “That is a definite no fly zone.” You laughed again, Frankie swinging the helicopter back and pointing it in the direction you’d come from. “You going to Disney while you’re here? I know you won’t put that in the notes or anything, but I don’t know if you’ve ever been.” 

“I have once, when I was a kid. I bet it’s a lot different now, but …” You shook your head. “I’m not sure I’ll have time, Frankie. I’m only here for three months, and … I have a lot to do.” 

“We could plan something toward the end of your stay.” He sighed. “Becca and I took Carmen earlier this year, and she loved it. Her boyfriend wasn’t too thrilled we were spending a weekend together, even though we had separate rooms and only saw each other in the parks, but that was something we wanted to do as a family.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Point is, you can’t go to Epcot and drink around the world with a toddler, so…” He looked over at you, his unease turning into amusement. “If you were into that, it would be a lot of fun.” 

“It would.” Is he asking me to go to Disney with just him? That would be … an overnight stay if we were drinking and there’s multiple parks so that would mean a couple days, and … “If you can get the time off of work.” 

“I think my boss would approve it.” You both laughed at that, and then it was Frankie’s turn to reach over and squeeze your knee - only briefly - before he put his hand back on the control. “Think about it, alright?” You nodded and told him you would, but for the rest of the flight back, the word liar repeated over and over in your mind. 

— 

He’d kissed you goodbye quickly once you were back on the ground, but there wasn’t time for much else - the helicopter needed to be looked over and refueled, and Frankie’s employee was impatient. 

He promised to pick you up on his way to Ironhead’s and you parted ways, but you didn’t go directly back to the apartment. Instead, you drove around aimlessly, fingertips drumming against the steering wheel. 

There was a chance - a small one, admittedly - that after the following week, you’d be on your way out of Florida and finding somewhere to regroup. I could stay here. Chewing on your lip as you sat at a stoplight, you closed your eyes. “No, I couldn’t. If I kill a wolf, I have to leave.” 

You’d never been in the scenario before, but you assumed that if you found and eliminated the wolf, others would come to check it out - and to look for you. You had no interest in sticking around long enough to find out if that was true or not, and so the plan was always to finish your business and then skip town if you ever made good on your mission’s objective. But I’ve never had anyone to leave before. 

Pressing on the gas, you drove through the light, Frankie’s smiling face flashing in your mind. He wasn’t yours to leave, but sneaking out under the cover of darkness without saying goodbye was one of the most unappealing thoughts you’d ever had. There was no way to explain yourself without clueing him in on your real reason for being in Tampa, and if you did that, it would potentially put him in danger, something else that you didn’t want to do. 

Even if he didn’t believe you, simply putting the idea into his head was dangerous. “And that’s why I can’t tell him anything.” Blowing out a breath, you nodded. “That’s why I’m lying.” It was a flimsy excuse, but it was enough. “And there’s no way I’ll figure this out in a week anyway, so I don’t have to think about leaving yet.” 

That was almost a certainty - you were closer than you had been but nowhere near close enough, and with all of the green, swampy spaces you’d seen over the previous few weeks, you figured it would take you at least one more moon cycle to narrow things down. And that means another month of … “Another month of Frankie.” 

— 

He picked you up a little before 7 that night, Frankie getting out of the truck and walking to the door to knock. You did a double take when you saw him standing outside, your mouth falling open in surprise. “You shaved.” 

Frankie reached up and rubbed at his chin with his fingertips, nodding. “Just trimmed it a little. Why? Don’t you like it?” It made him look much younger, and though you missed the full scruff, you had to admit that he looked good with shorter facial hair, too - which you admitted to him, the man’s cheeks reddening with the compliment. 

“Have you ever thought about just the mustache?” Walking beside him, you headed for his truck. “Getting rid of the beard and the sideburns and all of it?”

“Yeah. I’ve done it before. I look about twelve.” You snorted, stopping at the front of the truck while Frankie did the same, leaning against the hood. “I went out on a date a couple years ago and the woman said she preferred no facial hair, so …” He shrugged. “We went out on one date, and I haven’t done that shit since.” 

“I’d never ask you to shave, Frankie.” You wrinkled your nose, reaching out and pinching his cheek. “Even though now that I know you’ve got these cheeks hidden under all that, I’m never going to let you forget it.” He rolled his eyes but you saw his lips twitch in amusement at the same time. “Same with your hair.” 

“Yeah?” The two of you climbed in, and when you were on the road, he glanced over and continued. “What about it?” 

“I like the way it curls.” You shrugged, resting your elbow on the door, hand dangling over your lap. “I bet, too, you like it long after so many years of keeping it short.” He nodded in agreement, looking back over at you. 

“Yeah. That was one of the best parts about gettin’ out and taking on private assignments. No one gave a shit about the length of my hair as long as I got my job done.” He went quiet then, reaching over to flip the volume on the radio up, and for the rest of the ride to the bar, you were both quiet, aside from him humming along to the music. 

You were stunned at how natural it felt to be with him and joke with him. It didn’t feel like you’d only known him for a few weeks, and once you’d gotten past pretending that you didn’t want to continue your physical relationship with each other, it was like a flip switched. 

The attraction was still there on an almost constant basis, but instead of forcing yourselves not to act on it, both of you let it free. He touched you often - a hand on your back, sliding his fingers between yours, draping his arm around your shoulders when you were sitting next to each other - and Frankie looked at you like he wanted you, even when you were doing mundane things. 

And you were more open with your flirting; complimenting the man at every chance you got, running your fingertips along the back of his neck, and making it apparent that you were into him, especially when you were around people that both of you knew. 

It wasn’t that you were trying to prove a point or keep anyone else from showing interest in you, because with the exception of the first night - and genuine friendliness and honesty, not even Benny had tried to flirt. You were doing it because you wanted to - and because you could feel the confidence boost it gave Frankie each time. 

His friends didn’t give you a hard time about it, either, and you wondered if the same was true for Frankie when he saw them without you around, though you didn’t want to ask. 

“C’mere.” He leaned over after parking, tipping your chin up with two fingers. “Before we go inside…” Nodding, you leaned closer and closed your eyes, warmth of his exhale hitting your lips moments before the kiss began. 

It was a tender one, and one that you nudged further, drawing his lip between yours and then licking along the seam, Frankie’s palm moving to the back of your neck and his fingers spread wide to keep you close. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re fucking amazing at that?” You whispered the words when you pulled apart, your eyelids fluttering open. “Because you are, Frankie. I could kiss you until -” 

“You know you don’t have to stroke my ego, right?” He pulled his hat off and combed his hair back with one hand before settling it back into place. “I’m already planning on taking you home with me tonight.” You snorted, reaching for the door handle. 

“Fine. I won’t ever give you a compliment again. You suck at kissing, Frankie. The worst. In fact, I -”

“You’re laying it on pretty thick, and you’re a goddamn liar.” He climbed out, peeking back into the cab. “Now come on, I want a beer.” 

Hurrying to catch up with him, you met him just before he opened the door, Frankie putting his arm around your waist and guiding you through the crowd. 

Pope, Will and Benny were already sitting in one of the booths, but to your surprise there was another person there, too - Tom. 

You slid into the open space next to Pope, Frankie taking a seat next to you. Before you could even say hello, a full glass was pushed in front of you, Benny grinning from across the table. “Finally. Do we need to check the parking lot security cameras? Are we going to see anything that we don’t want to?”

“Yeah.” You took a sip, cocking your head to the side. “And if there’s volume, you might even get to hear me telling him that he’s shit at -”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Frankie reached for the pitcher, pouring himself a drink and taking a long sip while his friends laughed, Tom’s focus on the two of you. “Is there food coming, or should I go to the bar and order?” 

“We ordered.” Will waved his hand, shaking his head. “But if you want something that’s not an appetizer, you’ll have to go up and talk to Kay.” Frankie looked at you expectantly, and when you nodded, he stood again, staring down at the table. 

“Text me what you want and I’ll order ‘em together.” He looked at his friends. “Anything else? More beer?” Pope asked for another pitcher while you started typing, and it was only after Frankie had walked away that anyone else spoke, Tom licking his lips and saying your name. 

“Looks like you and ‘Fish are getting along well.” 

“We are.” You took another sip, setting your phone down. “We went on our third flight today, which was the last one I had scheduled. Went up toward the Green Swamp, and he said that’s where your RV is?” Pope nodded, and so did Tom, his thumb running up and down along the side of his beer glass. “I told him I wanted to camp up there at some point, but he said to wait so I could stay at the RV, and he’s busy all next week, so it’ll have to be after that.”

“Busy with what?” Tom frowned, a confused look on his face. “He doesn’t fly at night, and -”

“All the last minute vacations, Redfly.” Frankie slid back into the booth next to you, clearing his throat. “I opened up my bookings a couple extra hours a day until he second week of September, and then I’m taking little while off.” He took a drink, licking his lips clean. “Give myself a break before the holiday travel starts.” He’s taking a break? That means … 

It meant that after the second August full moon, if you were still in Tampa, you’d be able to spend more time with Frankie. But why didn’t he say anything til now? “A break? You never do that.” Tom scratched the side of his head. “Any special reason?” 

“Because he’s been flying almost nonstop since last winter?” Pope spoke up, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. “We’ve all gotten to take time off in the last few years, except ‘Fish here, who…” Pope snorted. “He’s spent more time in the air since we got back from Colombia than he did the entire time he was enlisted.” The other guys laughed, too, Frankie casting a grateful look at his friend. “Good. Maybe with some time off, we can go do something fun.” 

“Like what?” Benny leaned closer. “Vegas? Mexico? Fuckin’ Barcelona?” 

“I suggested going to Disney a couple hours ago.” Frankie sniffed, taking another drink. “Last time I went, I was with my daughter, and that was great, but …” He smiled, looking over at you. “But I think it would be even more fun with other adults.” 

“Fuck yeah it would.” Pope’s grin was infectious, the man leaning closer to Frankie. “Yovanna would probably love that, unless it’s just for us guys, and -”

“There are plenty of hotels.” Will spoke up, swiping a hand through his short hair. “And I’m sure Tanya would want to come too. What about Molly, Tom? Could the two of you get away from Tessa for the weekend?” 

“Probably.” He took a long drink, nodding. “Would depend on when, though. Closer it gets to the holidays, the more shit we have to do with her family, so I can’t promise anything.” Everyone murmured in reply, beginning to talk over plans, but Frankie leaned in, whispering into your ear. 

“You’re invited too, in case you were wondering.” He nudged you with his shoulder, and then reached for your hand under the table. “And now I kinda roped you in, so…” 

“We’ll see.” Lips twitching, you squeezed his hand. “Thanks for putting me on the spot.” He laughed, straightening back up and letting go of your hand. 

“You’re welcome. And I’m about to do it again.” What? But before you could question him, Frankie reached over and threw a peanut at Benny, saying the younger man’s name. “Did you ever get ahold of the guy at Hillsborough with the boat?”

“I did!” He slapped his hand on the tabletop, looking from Frankie to you. “He said you can stop by whenever, it’s been pretty slow this month so far. All I’ve gotta do is let him know when, and you’re good to go.” 

“Really?” He nodded. “Thank you, Benny, I’ll figure it out, and let you know. Can I go out at night? That would be pretty neat. Maybe next week sometime?” You narrowed your eyes, pretending to think. “Isn’t there a full moon? You’d probably be able to see a lot on the water like that.” 

“There is.” Frankie spoke up, nodding. “Wednesday, maybe?” He pulled his lower lip back between his teeth, thinking. “I wouldn’t be able to go that night, since it’s about 35 minutes away and by the time we were done and home, I’d be in no shape to fly the next morning.” Pope nodded slowly, glancing over at Tom and then Will. “What about you, Benjamin?” 

Your attention moved between the blonde men, lingering on the younger one, Benny nodding thoughtfully. “I mean… yeah. I don’t have anything going on. Let me get ahold of Manny, and I’ll let you know, but it shouldn’t be a problem.” He nodded at you, his smile growing. “Can I have your number so we don’t have to play telephone through ‘Fish?” His eyes flicked over toward Frankie as he spoke, Benny winking at the other man before looking back at you. 

“Of course.” You recited it to him, waiting to see a text come through to confirm that you had his in return. “Thank you, Benny.” He held up his beer, nodding, and then the six of you were interrupted by the approach of two servers, their trays laden with food. 

“See?” Frankie leaned in again, his hand resting on your thigh. “Told you you’d always have one of us around.” 

— 

You had to admit that the airboat was a lot cooler than you’d imagined it to be, though it was no less terrifying. 

Benny showed up at your door late Wednesday afternoon, the man grinning from ear to ear, and escorted you to his car, talking a mile a minute. 

It was much different from the time you spent with Frankie, and even though you’d grown accustomed to the pilot’s personality, Benny’s was a welcome change. 

He’d kept you talking the entire way to the campground - mostly about your book and website, but he also threw in a few stories about the other guys, too, specifically Frankie and Will. It was like the two of you were old friends, and by the time he pulled a small duffel bag out of the backseat and the two of you headed for the dock, you felt a slight pang of annoyance that you hadn’t made as much of an effort to spend time with the younger Miller brother outside of him accompanying you on research missions. If I stay longer, maybe … maybe that can change. 

It was nothing like the attraction you felt toward Frankie, but you gladly took Benny’s hand when he helped you onto the boat, introducing you to his friend. 

The moon was just beginning to rise, and as the three of you got situated, you looked up, smiling at the sight of it. This is one of the locations I narrowed it down to. Maybe … maybe we’ll see something. “Alright, some rules.” Manny stood behind the two of you, hands on his hips. “Stay seated, even when we’re stopped or just driftin’.” You nodded and so did Benny, waiting for him to continue. “You’ll want to wear the ear protection, because this fan is loud.” Both of you nodded again. “When we stop, you can take it off if you want. That way you’ll be able to hear all the critters.” 

“Sounds good.” Benny nodded. “Anything else?” 

“Make sure you put on your bug spray, and I’d recommend long sleeves.” You already had your arms covered, but Benny didn’t, the blonde unzipping his bag and pulling out a hoodie. “Also, just a warning - there is a rifle on board. We shouldn’t need it, but …” But what? Your eyes widened, a breath sticking in your throat. “Just in case.” 

Only a few minutes later, you were underway, gliding away from the dock and toward the trees, the moonlight shining over the water and illuminating the area in front of you. There was no point in having your phone out, because it was too dark to take photos, so you focused instead on the water and what little of the shoreline you could see in the shadows. 

It was thrilling to feel the breeze against your face, and for a few minutes, you let yourself relax, leaning back into your seat while you scanned the area ahead of you. You felt Benny’s hand on your arm a while later, the man pointing with his other hand. When you followed the direction of it, you saw pinpricks of light at the surface of the water, gasping when you realized that they were eyes. Alligators. There are alligators ten feet from me, and … You shivered, though you leaned closer, Benny doing the same thing next to you. 

The boat kept moving, though it moved much slower, giving you a chance to take in your surroundings. Manny shined a light ahead of you, and you froze at just how many pairs of glowing eyes you saw, glancing over to see the look on Benny’s face. He was grinning, his head shaking back and forth in delight. 

You stopped a little while after that, the motion of the boat ceasing, and when you reached up to take the headphones off, you were stunned at how loud the animals around you were - the buzz and hum of cicadas, crickets chirping, the low croaks of frogs; you even heard the hoot of an owl in the distance. “Listen to that.” Benny spoke from next to you, voice low. “Reminds me of the jungle.” 

You looked over and saw that he was focused on the water in front of you, lips set into a frown. “It’s louder than I thought it would be.” He nodded, but didn’t say anything else, and when you heard something splash close by, your attention went there, eyes skipping over the moonlit surface and looking for ripples. 

“Do you want to keep going?” Manny spoke from behind you, waiting until you both turned to look to continue. “I can start the fan again, or we can keep drifting.” 

“You choose.” Benny shrugged. “I’m good either way.” 

“Can we just drift for a little while? This is relaxing.” Manny agreed, and the three of you sat in silence for long moments, staring at the darkness around you. “How many tours do you usually do every day?”

“One or two.” You turned back to look at him while he spoke, the man gesturing with one hand. “Most of ‘em during the day. Special cases closer to sundown. It’s harder to see at night, so this is a special favor for Miller here, but the moon makes it a lot easier.” You glanced up at his words, noting how the light filtered in through the breaks in the tree branches above you. “I have busier times, though. We have two boats, and -”

He was interrupted by a loud splash that sounded close, followed by a low growling noise that turned into what sounded like a motorcycle. Shit, what… “It’s fine.” Benny leaned over, settling his hand on your knee. “Just a gator.” The sound continued, Manny confirming Benny’s statement as other ‘voices’ joined the chorus, and even though your heart was racing, you felt excitement at the experience. This is really fucking cool. Not what I’m looking for, but… 

The rumbling roars continued as you drifted along with the current, and when you glanced over at Benny, he was grinning right back at you, his eyes wide with excitement. “Haven’t you ever done this before?”

“Not at night.” He shook his head. “Not like -” 

But then it was Benny that was cut off when another sound pierced the air, and you watched his expression change, his lips parting in shock. That’s not a gator. Your head whipped to the right and toward where you thought it was coming from as the sound carried through the air again - the unmistakable howl of a wolf somewhere in the distance. 

It was sustained, long and low, and you heard Manny swearing from behind you, the man scrambling in his seat. “Benny? What is that?” You asked the question even though you already knew, head shaking back and forth. “It sounds like a -”

“A coyote. Maybe a panther. It’s -” 

“That isn’t a panther. They scream, not howl.” Manny’s tone was serious, and when you looked back, you saw that he had the rifle in his hands, though his finger wasn’t on the trigger. “That sounds like a -” A second howl cut through the air, though that one sounded a little different than the first, the pitch higher. Two? There are two? 

“We’re hearin’ things.” Benny shook his head, eyes narrowed. “There’s no wolves in Florida. It can’t be -” But the sound came again, then, louder and closer, and when Benny moved that time, it was to reach for the bag he’d brought on board. The man’s hand dove in and came back out, fingers curled around the grip of some sort of handgun. Why did he bring a gun? You blinked quickly, an icy chill coursing through your body. 

It was possible that he’d brought it for the same reason Manny had - in case the gators got too close to the boat. But the other possibility was that Benny had anticipated another kind of danger during the ride, and had wanted to be prepared. There are a ton of animals in these swamps, so it’s possible, and… “Benny, why do you have a -”

“Keep that handy, Miller.” Manny spoke up as the howling continued, the man’s voice quiet but somewhat calmer. “I’m going to start the fan again and get us back to the dock.” 

“Yes, sir.” Benny nodded in agreement and then reached up to flip the brim of his hat backward, clearing his field of vision. His posture was relaxed, though you knew he was anything but, and you opted to stay quiet - heartbeat pounding in your ears. He’d moved closer to you, angling his body so that he could watch more of the shoreline, and you were thankful for it, though there was as large part of you that felt vindicated. 

It’s a wolf. There aren’t wolves in Florida, and that means … that means I was right. That means… The howling was cut off by the sound of the fan, and you blinked in surprise when a second spotlight turned on, aimed toward land. That’s fucking bright. Manny smoothly turned you back around, Benny’s position shifting again to partially block you from the side of the riverbank you were closest to. 

Wincing, you covered your ears with the protection again, reaching into your back pocket for your phone. You thought about texting Frankie, and then decided not to, instead bringing up Alec’s contact and typing out a message before hitting send and praying that you had enough bars to get it through. I’m on an airboat in the middle of the Hillsborough River and there is a wolf howling in the distance. I was fucking right.

When you pulled up to the dock, Manny cut the fan off again, anchoring the boat. You ripped off your ear protection, setting it down on the bench to the seat’s right. There were no sounds aside from the nighttime creatures, and when the men nodded at each other, you all stood, gathering your things and beelining it for the small building that acted as the tour office. The three of you listened intently as you moved, Benny in front of you and the other man behind. 

Once inside, Benny locked the door and pressed his back against it, he gun still held tightly in one hand. “We all fuckin’ heard that, right?” 

“Yes.” You swallowed hard, nodding. “It sounded like a wolf. But there aren’t any here, like Manny said. So what the hell is -”

“Whatever it was was close.” Manny frowned, looking around the room. “But maybe it was just a trick of the -”

“We all heard it.” You cut in, rolling your eyes. “No way all three of us heard the same thing and imagined it or warped something else to sound like …” You trailed off, closing your eyes. “It sounded like there was more than one, too. Did you hear the -”

“There’s gotta be an explanation.” Benny pulled his hat off, running his fingers through his hair. “Someone playing a prank, or some shit like that. Because I’ve heard wolves before, in Colorado. I’ve heard a pack of ‘em howling, and that sounded close, but it wasn’t…. Those sounds were coming from different places. If by some fuckin’ miracle there were wolves here, why and how would it be two different…” 

You watched his brow wrinkle in confusion, the man’s blue eyes narrowing. What are you thinking, Benny? You once again thought about calling Frankie, but after glancing at the clock, you decided not to - it was almost 10:30, and you knew that he was already in bed, his phone on Do Not Disturb. 

“I think I want to go home, Benny.” You blew out a breath. “Manny this was great and all, but -”

“Yeah, I’d like to get away from the swamp, too.” The man laughed, scratching the side of his head. “In twenty goddamn years, I’ve never … never heard anything like that out here, and I’d feel a little better just…” He sighed. “Being in my house.” 

The three of you parted ways in the parking lot a few minutes later, the gun only leaving Benny’s hand after you were both safely in the car and the engine was running. You hadn’t heard anything out of the ordinary since you’d arrived back at the campsite, but you only fully relaxed once you turned onto 301 and were headed south, joining in a steady flow of traffic. 

Benny’s fingers were gripping the wheel tightly, the man’s jaw locked, and even though you had a ton of questions for him, you started out with one that surprised even you. “Are you going to text Frankie and let him know what we heard, or should I?” 

“Better question is what are we going to tell him?” He looked over at you, some of the tightness leaving his expression. “Because he’s not gonna believe it if we tell him what we think we heard.” We don’t think we heard anything. That was a … those were wolves. “Grab my phone for me, and dial Pope’s number, will you?” 

You reached into the backseat for his bag and pulled out the device, scrolling through his contacts and pressing the one for Pope before you handed it over. He took it, pressing the device between his ear and shoulder and waiting. Pope first? That’s interesting. Not his brother? 

“Hey. Where are you?” You watched the blonde man’s expression, catching a quick look of surprise that rapidly shifted into confusion, Benny clearing his throat before speaking. “Oh. Alright. Well, uh…” He sighed, closing his eyes briefly and gripping the wheel tighter. “We’re leaving Hillsborough right now and you’re not gonna believe what we think we heard.” He paused and then let out a laugh, though it wasn’t an easy one. “Wolves. We stopped the boat and were drifting, and something started howling and…” Benny’s voice trailed off and you saw him nod twice, reaching up to take the phone between his fingers again. “No, all three of us. Loud as shit, but it makes no sense, right? That’s impossible?” 

He was quiet for a long time, listening, and you pulled your phone out, swiping up on the screen. He’ll see it in the morning and he told me to let him know when we got home anyway, so… While Benny continued the conversation with Pope, you texted Frankie, trying to word things delicately. 

On our way home now. Heard some really weird shit on the boat. Sounded like wolves, but it couldn’t have been… scared the hell out of us. We heard and saw a bunch of gators, too. The boat was a great idea. Call me later if you want. “I think she just did.” You glanced over, finding that Benny was nodding, his eyes still on the road. “Yeah. He’ll see it in the morning.” He paused. “Yeah, Pope. We’re good. Have a good rest of your night. Stay safe.” 

It was a strange way to end the conversation, but you didn’t question it, instead settling back into your seat and looking out the window. You kept quiet until Benny cleared his throat, asking how you were doing. 

“I’m fine. It just freaked me out, I guess. I was expecting to hear the alligators and all that, but not … something howling.” He laughed, agreeing. “What the fuck do you think that was, Benny?”

“I donno. I’ve heard some crazy shit over the past couple years, but that …” He shook his head again. “No clue.”

You decided to joke with him, broaching the idea of what you knew to be the truth. “Maybe it was a werewolf.” He inhaled sharply, the steering wheel jerking in his hands. 

“What?” He looked over at you, the man’s shoulders stiff. “What are -” That’s an odd reaction. 

“Full moon and all?” You gestured at the moon, forcing out a laugh, though your heart was pounding again. “Fuck, I don’t know. I’m just trying to come up with an explanation for -”

“Maybe if it was October.” His voice softened, the man sighing. “Kids going out in the woods and camping and playing tricks on each other and all that shit.” Maybe. Or maybe not. “Happens all the time. People go out and get lost in the damn swamps because they’re tryin’ to scare themselves.” 

He went quiet again, the man’s deep breaths lengthening as he continued to drive. Instead of replying, you just stared out the window, arms crossed tightly over your chest. I have so much shit to add to my notes tonight. 

Neither of you spoke until he was parked in your driveway, the overhead light on as you gathered up your stuff. “Thank you for taking me tonight, Benny.” You looked over at him, hoping he could see the sincerity in your expression. “I’m glad you were there, and that you had a gun.”

“I’m glad I didn’t need to use it.” He smiled, the expression more genuine than any of them had been in hours. “I’ve seen too many videos of alligators getting curious and trying to climb into boats. I wasn’t gonna take any chances.” You laughed then, reaching over to squeeze his arm. 

“That’s a visual that’s going to haunt me.” He laughed, too, his eyes never leaving your face. “Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.” Benny pointed at the front door. “You want me to walk you in?”

“I’m alright, but thank you.” Closing your eyes, you sighed. “Seriously, Benny. Thank you.” Unbuckling your seatbelt, you leaned over and hugged him tightly. “I don’t know what the fuck we heard tonight, but I’m glad someone else was there to confirm that I’m not going insane.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” His grip on you was solid, but he let go quickly. “Now go inside. I wanna get home, and I’m supposed to take a picture of you walking in that door to send to -”

“That’s weird as fuck, right?” He nodded, wrinkling his nose. “Frankie seriously asked you to -”

“Yes to both.” Benny held up his phone. “But he cares about you, so…” You gathered up your stuff and then got out of the car, ducking your head to peek back in. 

“Is it so he knows I got home safe, or so he knows you didn’t try to weasel your way inside with me?” Benny snorted, his laughter barely contained. 

“I’ve done a lot of stupid shit with women, but I’d never try anything like that with someone that ‘Fish was into, and he knows it.” You smiled and gave him another nod, closing the door and walking the short distance to the front of your apartment. 

Once it was unlocked, you turned halfway, giving Benny a wave. You held the pose until you saw him lower the phone, the man giving you a thumbs up in return. He was already backing out of the driveway when you stepped inside, closing and locking the door behind you and flipping the switch on to bathe the room in light. 

It was barely after eleven, and thanks to adrenaline, you were wide awake - itching to get to work. “I was fucking right. Holy shit!” You spoke to the empty room, nodding your head as you set everything down, slipping your shoes off. There’s a wolf here, and it was close. You sat down, pulling your locked suitcase out and opening it, reaching for your journal and a pen. “Now I just need to figure out why it sounded like there were two of them.” 

— 

The ringing of your phone woke you what seemed like only minutes after you’d fallen asleep. 

You blinked your eyes and groaned at the sound, trying to focus on the slivers of light peeking in through the blinds to figure out what time it was. Reaching for the device, you shot up into a sitting position at the sight of the name - and picture - on the screen. Why is he calling me so early? 

Pressing the button to answer, you raised the device to your ear. “Alec? What are -” A woman’s voice on the other end of the line said your name, the sound thin and shaky, and your fingers immediately tightened around it as you confirmed that it was you. 

“This is Ashley. I didn’t… I hate that this is how …” You stood, your body shaking with fear and all traces of sleep gone as you listened to her speak. “We were going to surprise you but we got in too late last night and I needed to find a place… you know.” She paused, taking another shaky breath. “Alec was attacked last night. He’s in surgery right now, and you need to … you need to come to the hospital.” 

— 

tag list reblogs coming soon!

[ajokeformur-ray]

I love Arthur Fleck so fucking much it actually hurts sometimes. Every time I think I can't love him any more than I already do, I somehow manage to surprise myself.

Maybe I'm overly emotional right now because I'm stressed to the point of having literally no appetite so I haven't eaten all day or because it's 9.54pm and I should be asleep already because I wanna be up at 3am so I can study before work, but I just... Cannot and will not stop thinking about Arthur.

How hard he tries to be good - going to therapy, keeping a journal, taking actual notes on what comedy seems to be based on what makes people laugh the hardest in Pogo's Club, taking his medications, holding down a job, working inhuman hours and then going home to be his mother's carer - and he's so exhausted, you can see it.

But he keeps going. He tries day after day after day, head bowed and an asymptomatic limp and feet dragging and shoulders slumped because he's suffering but he knows what he needs to do and he's doing it as best as he can.

He's not an inherently good person, from the moment the film begins we see that he's already started to descend and he's doomed by the narrative; it was always gonna end the way it does. But right up until absolutely everything is taken away from him, by his hand or not, he is trying. To be kind, to take his medications, to care for Penny, to do what's expected, to do what he thinks is right because he cares so much that it burns him. He cares so much that it factors into his downfall, he's tragic and doomed from the start but like so many of my beloveds, he went down fighting until he couldn't anymore so then he gave in and everything went to shit.

But he TRIED. Every day. Until that choice was taken from him.

There's so much quiet strength and bravery to Arthur and so much to him that he doesn't show to the world, either because he doesn't want to or he can't, but what we do see... I find so, so tragically beautiful.

Arthur is, in so many ways, the reason why I am who I am today. He's the reason I'm doing a bachelor's with honours psychology with counselling degree; he inspired me so much that I realised I want to help people like him and I've spent the last four years working towards my degree, I have two more years to go and then after that, there's gonna be post-graduate certifications and training and work experience to work on etc. but Arthur has always inspired me to keep going, to keep trying, just like he did.

Step step step step...

One day after another.

Arthur inspired me to be kinder, and if I can't manage that, then just be nice or even if that's too much, don't say anything at all, just smile and move on. He inspired me to keep going, to be gentler to myself, to write down my thoughts, to take time at the end of a day which has so much work that I'm swaying on my feet to brush my teeth because I'm so tired, to watch something I love because it'll give me something to look forward to at work or when I'm dragging myself through a 3am study session. My bed is my favourite hello and my hardest goodbye. Arthur keeps me warm inside, he keeps me going, he gives me a reason to smile every day, and I'm so grateful to this character for everything he's taught me.

How can I quit on everything I work so hard at, a thought I'm ashamed to admit I have every day, when someone like Arthur inspired me? If I quit, it'll be a waste of the four years I've spent so hard working for, but also it'll be a waste of the love I have for Arthur, because I pour so much of it into my degree. I can't help Arthur, but I can help people like him. I pour my love for him into my degree, and I try to honour the lessons he taught me with it, too. How can I quit my degree not only so close to the end, but also because to quit would be like giving up on Arthur? I may be exhausted to my bones, we all know it, but like hell would I ever give up on Arthur. And therefore, no giving up on my degree. I'll be grateful I kept going one day. (Right?🥺)

I love Arthur, so much, and I'll carry him with me for the rest of my life. He's always there for me at the end of the day, safe in my phone, and curling up in bed with him cures all ills. I'll never love anyone the way I love Arthur, not just because he changed my life and saved it on the same day (4th October 2019) in so many ways it'd take me another twenty minutes to list them, but also because Arthur Fleck is Arthur Fleck, and that's the biggest reason of all to love him.❤️

I wish I could tell him all of this. I truly do.

[king-midas-fortnite]

Journal Entry: 02

Relevant Reblog Threads: https://www.tumblr.com/kado-fortnite/757815879423639552/an-invitation-to-watch-bloodsport-from-a-king-it?source=share AND https://www.tumblr.com/king-midas-fortnite/758022626128035840/it-was-a-nice-night-decent-company-for-certain?source=share

I mentioned in my last entry that I was thinking of ways to make things even with Kado for stopping me from doing something I'd regret in hurting Valeria, without making it known I felt the need to in the first place. 

Well, fortunate for me, he posted about being bored the other night while I had been enjoying an older bottle from my cellar. In a move I don't think I'd have chosen entirely sober, I invited him to the Nitrodome for entertainment he might find more suitable than reality TV. 

Surprisingly, and unlike many decisions made under the influence, I don't regret it. 

I had a fine time. I hesitate to say "good". It was Kado after all. But at the very least, he can make decent conversation when we aren't at each other's throats. Not to mention, Valeria puts on a good show when she's under the dome. 

I'd brought a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild, Pauillac. 1986, hardly the most vintage in my collection, but one I was looking forward to trying regardless, and met him outside. 

As I said in my invite to him, the plan was to climb the overhanging rafters for a better and more private view. I don't care for sitting amongst crowds. Especially not the kind who go to Nitrodome events. Anyway, the speed at which he climbed those rafters while I carefully made my way up was impressive if not entirely irritating. We were supposed to be discreet, and there he went swinging from pole to pole like some chimpanzee. 

At one point he'd asked if I needed a "hand." I could have killed him then. Feigned reaching for his hand and let the Touch do the rest, but oh well. Chances chances. 

Then he asked if I wanted to hang on his back while he went. The offer seemed genuine, but I will die before I risk anyone seeing me in some Vampire Romance Movie situation with Him. No, I could make it.

I did take some satisfaction in that when I finally did get to the top, he was hung upside down, looking a little...disheveled, from all his showing off. I asked if he was ready to take a bat nap. He didn't appreciate the joke, said he'd simply been having fun watching me. 

The show had begun after that. I realized I had forgot glasses once the bottle was opened, so we simply passed it back and forth. 

I've already mentioned Velaria putting on a good show, but I will reiterate, it was quite fun to watch. 

Between rounds of whatever the goal is down there (I don't pay much attention to rules, just the violence and expensive destruction), we chatted. Found common ground on some things; wine, art, theater. Found differing opinions on others; music, film, food.

One part I can not seem to let go of (and what I am having to have my third drink to even write down), was when he asked to see my hand. My fake one, that is. The one made to replace the one he stole. 

I didn't think he'd try anything at a place so public, so I held it out to him. He held it for a while, turning it over in his hands, tracing fingers over every weld and joint. It felt more intimate than I'd care to think about. 

He said it was beautiful. I thanked him, but couldn't help myself from asking if he was planning on taking that one too. 

He then got this smirk on his face and said, "I'd rather take the man attached to it." 

I'd snatched my hand back then, and decided I hadn't had nearly enough to drink for that sort of comment. I can only hope I didn't appear as surprised by it as I felt, but the Touch betrayed me as it often does and the damn bottle had changed to gold while I drank more from it. 

He'd laughed at me, of course. What I'm struggling with now is how I didn't hate the sound. I'm blaming it on the wine drank at the time and now. Moving on.

By the time we were heading back down, I was thoroughly drunk. He kept offering me help, staying irritatingly close as I went. I was in the middle of telling him I didn't need a "hand", and insulting him when I did lose my footing. 

He shouldn't have risked the exposure, but Kado had let his wings snap out for enough speed to catch me by the arm. For a man who's supposed to be keeping a secret, this was an extremely reckless action. I let him know as much after I regained my balance (queue the most sarcastic "you're welcome" I have ever heard). I have no idea if anyone saw, I suppose time will tell. 

We made it back down without further incident and accompanied each other further until our paths home split ways. Before we parted, I said something I wish I hadn't. Again, decisions made under the influence that I'd think better of otherwise. I thanked him. I thanked him for stopping me with Val, divulged to him how tired I am of hurting the people I care about... Stupid thing to do. I don't relish the idea of him knowing anything genuine about me, but I can't very well go back in time to correct that mistake. It was his time machine that blew up, after all. 

If anyone ever reads these, I think I'd kill them. Reminder: these are not "public" to other Tumblrverse characters. Okay to reblog, but please do not roleplay on journal entries!

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e4 live episode reaction 😭

fine. time to watch what's widely considered the best heartstopper episode so far

know I will probably not be rewatching this because I'm already at a level of sobbing that might wake up my mom

nellie makes me so happy

not tara being the one telling nick to start journaling

oh my god it's gonna be literally all of journey. like the diary entries and all. oh my god I see it. oh my god that's gonna WRECK ME

NOT ALL THREE OF THEM SITTING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER BABIES

god

literally none of this is okay I feel like I'm a faucet that's open all the way I can barely see the screen

not him and nellie

bro I could really use a sarah hug right about now

THE RUGBY LADS NOOOOOO

IMOGEN KEEPS SENDING ME COUPLES COSTUME IDEAS AKDJSKFJSKFIDLFIF bro immy's so cute I wanna keep her in my pocket forever

tara is an angel

NOT BARBIE AND KEN AKDJDKFJDOF IMOGEN I LOVE YOU

not the creepy moos skfusofjslfjdkfj

okay that was....... way too sad

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS. NICK NELSON LOVES CHARLIE SPRING.

nick's drinking??? oh honey no

OH MY FUCKING GO D

OH Y GOD

OGMYNFLFKDLFKD THEYRE DKIISIMG

IMOGENSAHAR TEAAAAAMMMMMM

what's their name? I'm going with zaheaney

OH NO SHES THROWING UP AND TALKING ABOUT EXPERIMENTATION NOOOOOOOO

oh god that is horrifying

this is giving me so much anxiety

(tarcy as Shrek and Fiona are goals tho)

oh nO

DONT FUCKING

I'LL KILL MYSELF

NICK BABY NOOOOOOOOO

god

yeah this isn't good

"your marvel agenda is never gonna work on me" it still might, let me introduce y'all to billy kaplan and teddy altman

NOT THE KPSIDD DOWN KISS please can we have nick as MJ

"aw, can't I play the mental illness card?" "nope, the s-word rules still apply to the mentally ill" bro i wish I had nick and charlie when i was younger

im never gonna stop crying am i

no I'm never gonna stop crying

god

this isn't good i might genuinely dehydrate

not the backwards bit

oh god

yeah it does feel a bit like you're fractured doesn't it

tori helping to decorate charlie's room :(

god

GEOFF HI

I keep having to pause. like little sobbing breaks. why is this hitting me so hard.

"he's my favorite. your friends are annoying but I like him" nicktori :(

susan is so awesome

"you were having your summer of love, it's not a crime" "well, i love You too" :( charlie and tao :(

"but I missed it" god I keep going into sobbing spirals bro

"can you explain to me what happened with imogen and sahar? because nick was being way too empathetic about it and I actually don't really know what happened" LMFAODKDLDKSLFJSLFJSLFJSLFJ

to be fair to nick he had to hold immy's hair up while she threw up and cried about it so he prob doesn't have the most objective perspective

A WHOLE BOTTLE OF TEQUILA oh my god I was drinking a Lot at 16 and that's still way beyond anything that should be happening at that age

NOT TAOS FILM I'M GONNA DIE

BODNFLSKF NO

"but i wasn't prepared and I cried for about four hours" isaac describing me watching this episode

BARBIE AND DRACULA SEEN MAKING OUT AT A HOUSE PARTY

CUT THE CAMERA ITS BREAKING MY DOCUMENTARY CODE OF ETHICS

IS THAT HOW DARCY TOLD THE GROUP THAT THEYRE USING THEY/THEM PRONOUNS? YOU CANT BE FR

DARCY OLSSON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IN THE MOST NONBINARY WAY POSSIBLE

oh my god tao's gonna become a trash reality producer when he's older, he's got eye for The Drama™

NOT NATHAN AND YOUSSEF LEAVE THEM ALONE WEIRDOS SKFIDUGIDUGODJGDLGJDLGK

"we have a lot planned" "we do? oh god" lmao I love them

that little hug I love nick and charlie so much :(

SUSAN I LOVE YOU

oh my god tori holding out her hand

SPRING SIBS SUPREMACY

WHERE'S THE "haha, since when is anything I do straight?" LINE ALICE HOW DARE YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEE

(it'd also be missing michael and olly so. yk. yeah nvm let's keep it)

oh wow that was a long ass hug

well

I haven't cried this hard with an episode of television since............ I don't know since when lmao

honestly genuinely this might be the hardest cry I've done all year so thanks for that

[shytastemakerthing]

I saw your matchmaking was open! No pressure but, I'm looking for an MHA match up! I'll put some info about me.

I have blond hair to my armpits with bangs, blue eyes, I'm 5'4. I typically dress in more dresses or hyper feminine. I like to wear my hair in bubble braids or pigtails, sometimes both.

I'm going into film and directing, and I am a cheerleader, on the dance team and in track for extra curriculars. I like being theatre kid too, I love putting in shows for the crowds and playing a character.

My biggest passion really is films, I love creating new videos, to me it's an art form and I've loved it since like junior high. Though I can go on stage and do a play or give speeches, I am more on the shy side when one-on-one, I struggle to know what to say when I'm not going by a script, afraid I'll say the wrong thing. I play the guitar, mainly rock music, since rock and metal are what I listen too.

I have IED(Intermittent explosive disorder) and I struggle with night terrors, so I'd love someone understanding when it comes to that.

I'm not sure what else to put, but I'm an extrovert, I like being in crowds, just need a little time to warm up. I like going to the gym and working out. But I really do mostly spend my time doing anything with directory(ect, watching films, coming up with ideas, making mini-movies)

My biggest pet peeve is like-people who are constantly on their phones. Like always taking pictures or videos to post and not actually enjoying what's happening. Or people who brag about how high their snapscore is and how many followers they have.

No pressure to answer this!

Hello and thank you so much for your request! I am sorry that this took so long to get too but we are finally here! I do so hope that you like your request! I wasn't sure if you wanted romantic or platonic so I went with a romantic request!

Tw: None

I match you with........

Sako Atsuhiro (aka, Mr. Compress)

He was the very first person that came to mind as I was reading over your information and he stuck like a leech with all of the possibilities that would come from this stunning man.

Sako is a showman, that much is very known as we have seen throughout the episodes that we have seen him in.After he hears of your love of film and creating your own mini-movies, oh he was beyond thrilled.

You wouldn't mind him shadowing you right? He could provide some very helpful insight.

On a serious note, he absolutely loves this talent of yours. Oh how creative you must be when you come up with all of these ideas.

(He gets you a nice little journal to pen down your thoughts when they come to you)

His quirk comes in hand as well when it comes to your hobbies. He will merely compress down what would be needed and carry it around with him, bringing it out when you need it and once finished, it is back to being compressed and into his pocket.

With your night terrors, he is certainly there the moment that he hears anything is wrong.

Being a villain, he has had his fair share of them after everything he has seen, but right now, his attention is on you.

After having your permission, he will lay down next to you, gently soothing you. You can tell him what plagues you or not, whatever you are more comfortable with, it will not bother him. All he cares for is your well being.

On days where there are no missions that he needs to be on, he will don a disguise and slip into the city with you, perhaps to take you shopping for more of those beautiful dresses that you love.

Overall, he is a very attentive partner. One who encourages what it is that you love with such a passion in his voice and a fire in his eyes. You are his perfect muse and he will forever protect and cherish you.

Thank you for your request!!

[thestupidhelmet]

Hey there! First of all - I can't begin to say how amazing your work on here is. Your metas, fanfic, comics - as a relatively new 70s fan, it's been so great to peruse. I started watching the show in the autumn last year, and grew up in the 2000s so it still feels nostalgic to me.

It might be a bit of a weird question, but basically I've really been interested in researching the original screenplays, especially the 'scrapped' s7 ending (Aka the original finale) before it was renewed for season 8. I've had no luck so far, and I was wondering if you have had any experience looking for these before? If you have, would it be possible to ask for any pointers on where to start on my journey?

Thanks so much for everything you do, honestly it's amazing to read!!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm happy you're enjoying my T7S works. 😊♥️

Unfortunately, unless you got a hold of the T7S writers' own copies of their original drafts (if they -- or the producers -- still have them), they don't exist online anywhere.

The information I have about them is from the That '70s Show message board at Fan Forum. It was active from the time the earliest seasons first aired until my co-mod and I shut it down this year. The archives are still available to read at Fan Forum.

Before I was part of the board, it was a known quantity to people at That '70s Show. For instance, Wilmer Valderrama posted there a few times.

People who ran T7S fansites (which were a thing before social media sites like Facebook and Tumblr existed) often had connections to the show, and they shared insider info with people on the board, including about the S7 rewrites once S8 was greenlit. One specific example is that Jackie and Hyde were not supposed to reconcile until after Jackie's job offer in Chicago / ultimatum -- in other words, the series finale.

Because the series finale turned into a season finale, Jackie and Hyde's happy endgame was scrapped to give a ready-made story-arc to S8. That also led the showrunners to reconcile J/H temporary to give them a little more time together as a couple, allowing for the cliffhanger of the now-season finale.

J/H's reconciliation episode in S7 is badly written. Probably quickly written, and it shows. It contains no depth, no acknowledgement of their two-and-half years of show time as a couple. It defaults to their status in "Going to California" (5x01) and misinterprets and retcons it to boot.

(Reminds me of how T7S writer and T9S showrunner Gregg Mettler admitted he used Wikipedia to remind himself of the T7S characters' basic characterization and storylines instead of actually watching the show again for the most accuracy.)

When I became co-mod of the T7S board, I read through over fifteen years of posts (did my due diligence so I could be as knowledgeable as possible about T7S, behind-the-scenes info, and the fandom. The number of posts I read is staggering (we're talking close to 100,000), not just from my board but every T7S-related boarding on Fan Forum.

I also followed links to the fansites, using the Internet Wayback Machine when necessary. Found interviews with cast members and producers (transcribed, early podcasts, and filmed). Read through the Live Journal fandom and any other T7S message boards I found. I was beyond thorough. I treated my new post like getting a PhD in T7S.

Talk about hyperfixation (but I had my reasons 😅). My memory for this kind of info is scary. I might not remember how the contents of my dresser drawer have been arranged for over a decade, but I'm the person who naturally memorized her most interesting college classes and could recite their entirety to people (who were interested) for years after I graduated.

So it was with the T7S info I learned. Spoilers from taping reports with alternate takes and scenes ultimately cut from the aired episodes. The words I read while in a grocery store checkout line of the S8 showrunners from a TV Guide (I believe) interview and how unhappy I was upon learning they hated J/H's relationship and were reverting it back to their season-1 dynamic (as they [mis]understood it).

By repeating all this info for a decade to people who asked, it remained with me. I shared some of my findings on this blog with links. But to get the full picture, one would have to read all the posts and fansites, etc., which is a ridiculous task. So I do my best to provide what what specifics I can.

When I was a co-mod of the T7S board, we still had people visit who interacted with T7S creators. One person, for instance, had interviewed Mark Brazill (the man who came up with the major concepts of T7S) for his own site and posted the transcript for us.

I'm sorry that I can't help you find the actual original scripts (I'd love to read them myself), but if one watches T7S's latter half, original parts are still evident -- as are where stories were spliced and rewritten.

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, September 4th, 2024.

Do you know a James? I don't.

Have you ever been to Australia? If not, would you like to? I haven't. It's not somewhere I'm especially interested in visiting, but I wouldn't be opposed to it either if the right opportunity presented itself.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? Yeah.

If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? Probably a Southern American accent. Idk, I just feel like it would fit my vibe.

New York or California? California. Mainly for the natural aspects.

Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? I don't.

Who was your last text from? It was from my dad. A reply to my text letting him know that I was on the way home from the shelter yesterday evening.

Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? I've never used one before. I've only ever owned point-and-shoot cameras.

If you had to choose one instrument to perfect, what instrument would you choose? Guitar seems the most versatile, but perfecting the harp or violin would be pretty cool too.

Have you ever owned an Axolotl? I haven't.

What has been the longest amount of time you’ve spent on a plane? Maybe a couple of hours.

How often do you use Snapchat? Never.

What does your last text say? It's just a random key smash. It's kind of a joke between us at this point.

Have you ever played Habbo? I haven't.

What about Runescape? No.

Have you ever heard of the band Mumford & Sons? If yes, do you like their music? I've probably heard a song or two, and yeah, I think I'd enjoy them if I listened to them more.

Have you ever kissed anyone starting with the letter A, C, N, T or K? I've kissed an A, C, and N.

Have you ever used Valium before? No.

What time is it where you’re from? 7:49am. I'm trying to fit in (at least part of) a survey while I eat breakfast because after this I have to take a shower and get ready to go to therapy.

Have you ever adopted an animal from an animal shelter? Yes. I've adopted four kitties from the animal shelter where I volunteer.

Where do you usually find Surveys from? The people I follow. I used to snag a lot of them from Bzoink, but that's not a thing anymore. :'(

Australia or New Zealand? I don't have enough of an interest in either place to have a preference.

Have you ever missed a flight? No.

What is your best friend’s middle name? Blah.

How do you feel about the passing of Aretha Franklin? I don't think I was even aware of it when it happened.

Did you enjoy any of her music? Again, I probably would if I gave it more of a listen.

What is your favourite film from your childhood? Watership Down. That movie traumatized me, but I was obsessed with it all the same…

Kanye West or Drake? Neither.

Do you know anyone who is named after a state? I don't.

What was the reason for your previous doctor’s visit? It was just a check-up.

Have you ever been to an outdoor cinema? Not since I was a child/teen.

Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? I've had a few bad experiences with weed (mostly just feeling really dizzy and out of it), but as for a bad trip, no; my one and only shrooms trip was pretty amazing.

How often do you use Instagram? I update it every few days or so. Mostly with kitty pictures from the shelter.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Yeah.

If so, do you still smoke? Yeah.

What are you up to tomorrow? Hopefully visiting the Mountain Park with my dad, and - if he's feeling up to it - perhaps a short hike.

What type of questions do you like being asked during a survey? I prefer questions about my day-to-day life because I use surveys as a form of journaling. Questions like "when was the last time you did X or felt Y, etc" are usually good as well. I'm not a huge fan of specific questions like "do you watch this show, listen to this band, etc."

Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey? No preference.

What is your favourite Ben Stiller movie? I think the only ones I've seen are Zoolander, Anchorman, and Meet The Parents. Can't say I have a favorite, though.

What is your favourite Spotify playlist if you have one? N/a.

Firefox or Chrome? I just use Microsoft Edge.

Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? I used to be obsessed with conspiracy theories (it was bad, lmao). I still enjoy them occasionally, but to a lesser (and far less gullible) extent.

If so, what is your favourite? These days, probably anything involving aliens/UFOs. Again, not in the sense that I believe them at face value, but the lore behind them - how they came about, who was involved, what's fact, what's fiction, etc. It's just such an interesting, convoluted web of deception and weirdness.

Do you find hand tattoos attractive on your preferred sex? Depends.

If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Abe Ortion. <- Lmao. I was just starting to think what an odd name that was, but then--!!

What is your favourite Netflix original series? I don't have one.

Have you ever owned a Tamagotchi? Yeah.

Do you have a favourite “survey blog” on Tumblr? If so, who? Pretty much everyone I follow who updates often + gives somewhat detailed answers. If I regularly like your surveys, then you're one of those people. :')

Would you rather be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early? 20 minutes early. The thought of being late makes me anxious.

If you could be a member of any TV-Sitcom family, which would it be? No thanks.

Tell me about the 6th person in your contact list: N/a.

Are you waiting for a text back right now? No.

Would you rather be able to control fire or water? I guess water.

[death-or-exile]

Doe Reads: Batman '89 Echoes #1

I've been hyping this issue up to anyone who'll read it since my store got in our shipment of stuff last week, and now it's finally out! I'm hoping to make a series of these posts; It's been a while since I did a read-along / review / liveblog / whatever. Honestly, I checked out a copy of Kings of Fear from the library so I could dig into that, but it'll wait. Without further ado, here's my thoughts on Batman '89 Echoes #1!

Spoilers under the cut!

Batman '89 Echoes quickly establishes itself, re-acquainting us with its Gotham in the opening scene. The copycat Batmen we saw back in the original series are still prevalent in Gotham, perhaps more confident than ever in the absence of a REAL Batman, who it is revealed has not shown himself for 2 years. We open on a heist being stopped by one of these faux Batmen; however he's thwarted when one of the three goons shoots him in a panic. But his fear, specifically his fear of Batman, seems....more intense than the situation calls for; in fact, when the police arrive to apprehend him, seems relieved. Our goon is begging them to keep shooting the fake Batman, to make sure he's dead.

Commissioner James Gordon, who died at the end of the previous series, has been replaced by his daughter Barbara, who as commissioner is going heavily after crooked politicians and the rich and powerful of Gotham. She's also very interested in all of the fake Batmen on the street, looking into each death personally...

After the autopsy, Barbara swings by to watch the interview with the apprehended suspect from the heist before, who killed the fake Batman. The man describes going into a blackout, like a switch flipped in his head: he felt a deep panic, and then...nothing. When shown a photo of the man he had shot, he seems to fly into a rage.

From the station, Barbara heads straight to Wayne Manor, where she confronts Alfred about how she's been attempting to reach Bruce, but hasn't been able to. From here, she lays out to him (and to us, the reader) the status quo since last we joined our heroes.

We learn that while she doesn't know what happened to her fiancé, Harvey Dent (last seen falling into a chasm in the Batcave at the end of the previous series) she suspects Bruce may know. We also learn that Jim Gordon figured out that Bruce was Batman before he died, which she discovered as she read her father's journals after his death.

After learning about Bruce and her father's relationship, she decided to let it slide and not take him down, under the promise that he will hang up the cape and not interfere with GCPD or commit further acts of vigilantism. However, with all the fake Batmen running around, she is still suspicious he may be involved, running some kind of network from the shadows. Barbara tells Alfred that if she doesn't hear from Bruce by Friday, then she's going to reveal all his secrets, to which Alfred replies with some startling news...

Next, we sit in at a local Gotham TV station, where "celebrity shrink" and pop psychologist Dr. Q is about to go on air to present an interview with Alicia Hunt, the Joker's Ex Girlfriend, most famously known for hiding her deformed face behind a mask in the original '89 film (and who I personally think of as a proto-Harley character!) While Chuck Lantz, the guy from the network (I'm not clear on if he's a producer or what) laments to the folks in the edit bay that The Joker, Batman, and all that hooey are old news that no one cares about anymore, our lovely Dr. Quinzel is explaining her practice of "Persona Therapy" to the folks in the makeup department.

Once she's on stage, and right before she's able to get into the interview itself, her segment is interrupted with the news that an anonymous bomber called Firefly may be close to apprehension by US Marshalls, costing Harleen her airtime. The animosity between Lantz and Harleen is palpable, and like Chekov's gun, there are a few lines in this issue that feel like serious foreshadowing. I believe that before this miniseries is over, we'll see Lantz come to some horrible end at the hands of our "new and improved Harley Quinn"....but for now, the top story is Firefly!

Much of the rest of the issue from here follows the investigation of Firefly. Firefly here is presented much like the Unabomber -- we are told he has a manifesto of some kind (although in this issue we're never privy to its contents), and once the US Marshalls are in the cabin, while investigating, they note that it's stocked full of canned goods and other survival supplies -- although I don't know if Kaczynski himself had these in his cabin, it seems like it'd fit.

To briefly summarize, the US Marshalls approached the cabin that their suspect appeared to be in, and believe they see him through a window, in front of a fireplace. Before they can approach, however, a bomb goes off inside the cabin. Upon entering they find a detonator, and realize the man they thought they saw inside the cabin was a decoy -- not really the Firefly at all. However a nearby copter picks up a heat signature, and after searching the forest, they manage to apprehend what they believe to be their man, face obscured with a luchador-like mask, on his way to a cave filled with explosives and firearms -- enough to take down a small army.

Our next cut shows our introduction to Dr. Jonathan Crane, who we quickly learn has been chosen to handle Firefly's case. It seems like immediately upon receiving this news, he wastes no time letting Dr. Quinn know about his recent get. Clearly these two have serious professional animosity, and seem to take great pride in getting under each other's skin (or at least Crane does)

Finally, we come to the end of the issue, where we follow Crane into an interview room with our suspect -- and come to see that our Firefly is none other than a particularly worse for the wear Bruce Wayne! But it's not yet clear if Bruce is quite.....himself or not. We know he's been missing for the last month, and have no idea what's happened to him in that time. Is it possible he's suffering from memory loss? A personality disorder? Or is there another plan in motion, unknown to us, the reader, yet?

So far, I'm beyond excited to see where this series takes us! One of the things I've loved about this and the last Batman '89 series is that it plays within the sandbox created by not only two iconic Batman movies, but also within the years and years of leaked, rumored, or confirmed choices for what would have been further movies, had Tim Burton stayed attached to the Batman franchise and/or Batman & Robin not totally bombed.

I remember reading so many of these rumors online growing up, and fantasizing about what could have been - even during (or especially during) the popularity of The Dark Knight Trilogy, when everyone had Batman fever and before the MCU replaced it in cultural relevancy. What's most interesting to me however is that 'it's '89 Echoes is taking a bunch of NON-Burton rumors and building them into the world of Burton -- "Madonna was going to be cast as Harley, and Jeff Goldblum was a possible pick for Scarecrow" were rumors surrounding a never-made 5th Batman film, that would have been directed by Joel Schumacher, reportedly called Batman Triumphant.

Personally I think both of the casting choices could have been really intriguing, and what I've read so far seems to confirm that for me. Putting them in the '89 world seems way more fitting than in the Schumacher films, IMO. That's not to completely throw shade at the Schumacher movies-- I genuinely love and enjoy Batman Forever, and the colorful neon aesthetic he created for Gotham is really fun and could work well in certain contexts! However I genuinely can't imagine a Scarecrow story under his purview -- that seems way more suited to Burton's tastes and style.

I personally sit exactly in the center of the Venn diagram that is "this is excellent nostalgia-bait for me, as someone who grew up with these movies and the Animated series and remembers them very fondly" and "Scarecrow and Harley are my favorite villains and I love to see them interact" so everything about this so far feels extremely targeted to ME PERSONALLY, haha. Also, full disclosure, but I ship Harley with Crane, and seeing their petty interactions with each other really had me going feral, and dying to see more.

I also loved getting the nods to Firefly and Hugo Strange, and even getting to see Alicia referenced in as well! Bruce as Firefly, in his mask, also felt like a nod to Bane, if only visually. It doesn't feel as much like a "hey look, REMEMBER THIS CHARACTER?" kind of a reference as much as it reminds me that they're trying to really flesh out the world of '89 Gotham and make it feel as established with characters and lore as any other piece of Batman media. There's plenty I've left out here, including pages and pages of Joe Quinones' excellent art, so I highly encourage you to seek out your nearest comic shop or bookstore and grab a copy for yourself! At the time of writing, issue #2 will be due out on January 30/31; in the meantime, I'll be hanging tight and waiting with bated breath!

[savipra]

Reflection on Netflix's Drawing Closer

Akito Hayasaka (Ren Nagase), the boy born in Fall & Haruna Sakurai (Natsuki Deguchi), the girl born in Spring.

I haven't been writing anything in this online journal of mine, though I think it helps if I do pour my thoughts again from time to time. Not at a regular schedule. I just can't help to write about the intensity of emotions I felt after watching Drawing Closer last night.

So there's this bittersweet Japanese film about two teenagers who are terminally ill and have 1 year (Akito) and 6 months (Haruna) left to live.

I just can't help but to fall in-love with their characters. As I was watching the film, I had a rollercoaster of emotions, from "kilig" to ugly crying and it had those moments that catches you offguard.

Their love was pure and fragile, in those fleeting moments, they knew what it meant to actually live! More than the rest of us would actually have as we take most of our waking day for granted. It reminded me how we truly value something when we know it has a time limit.

We all have a time limit, an expiration date, before we go home to where we came from. The only difference is that they knew their expiration while most of us don't.

I missed the kind of feeling I felt as I was watching the film, I never had that ugly crying and bittersweet kind of experience for a long while now.

Ren and Natsuki were awesome for being the perfect cast to play those two main roles, even the supporting characters is not to be missed! Aya, the flower vendor, and Haruna's mom played such great roles as they support the remaining times of our main characters.

I know that I won't be able to move on from this film for a very long while. I'd still simmer into the emotion, the melancholy, the bittersweet memories. It's always a tearjerker whenever I think of the film.

I'm planning to watch it again on Japanese audio with English subtitles. My first time watching it was in English dub, but I think I'd have to pay respect to the voices of Ren and Natsuki and the whole cast.

I'm following both of them on social media as I look forward to their upcoming films. I've fallen in-love with the film that I can't let go of it just yet, even the characters were to fall in-love with.

What a time to be alive, I'm truly grateful for having the chance to watch such a gem of a film.

[afrourbanbeat]

The Hamptons

Ok, so I have a new obsession this week. Hamptons-style houses. I'm just obsessed with the whole concept of the Hamptons in general if I'm being honest, but I think more especially architecturally and the rich history of the culture of the American elite society vacationing there in the summer. I'm not even American and the first time I heard about the Hamptons was from a movie that I think a lot of us would have seen called 'White Chicks' (a bonafide classic, if you ask me), if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favour and check it out. This post is not about analysing the socio-political or economic structure or even the demographics of the area or even the culture of vactioning in the hamptons through a critical lense, it's about journaling and exploring my own views of what I find architecturally interesting about the place.

Anyways, so the story is set in the Hamptons, located east of Long Island, New York, and has a deep history in the society of the American elites as a vacationing spot where they often tend to have vacation homes and spend their summers there. And I think the story did not do the place justice. To be fair I can't really be mad because the story was centered around the social dynamics of the elite circles, more especially that of the younger white female demographic of the early 2000s as perceived through the lense of the black male gaze. Hence, the architecture of the place was not necessarily an important factor in the story but, it did kind of put the place in the radar of my mind as a place to associate with the wealthy and the elite.

(Grayson Manor, Revenge 2008)

It was from another iconic media depiction that the architectural beauty of the Hamptons actually became something that was burned into my brain and that came from when I was obsessed with watching Revenge, a drama series that was also set in the Hamptons. The main antagonist Victoria lives at the stunning Grayson Manor, of which I believe is a character in and of itself, the lieu of the home ties deeply into the story and further emphasises the depth of the level of wealth that the Grayson family possesses. The sheer magnitude and opulence of the house made the viewer feel the sense of power, wealth and prestige that Emily was going up against by taking on Victoria as her enemy, and even the home itself somehow added to the sense of fear that Victoria instilled into those who came into her 'castle' which in essence it was. The show would often end with her on this scene on the balcony of her room that had this ridiculously breathtaking view of her looking out into the ocean, this scene was always so powerful to me.

(Grayson Manor, Revenge 2008)

There are many more depictions I could talk about of the Hamptons in film and TV, but the last one I'll tell you about is one of my favourites which is on Andrew Zimmerman's show called Bizzare Foods: Delicious Destinations The Hamptons edition! I won't say much, just try and watch the episode but I think through the food and restaurant experiences he shares, he paints a beautiful picture of the culture in the Hamptons and from it I learned that it is the source of one of my favourite drinks, the Long Island Ice-Tea, so shoutout to Long Island for that and the lobster rolls he ate looked really good, and a final shoutout to the clam chowder in the bread bowl. He showed a small snippet of what the food scene is like there and I won't lie, as self proclaimed professional foodie, I am absolutely obsessed and stay dreaming about having a lobster roll with a chilled glass of chenic blanc while watching the sunset on a beautiful restaurant deck in the Hamptons.

How I feel about the Hamptons right now is like an obsessed schoolgirl with a crush, I've been reading about its history, heritage, popular travel destinations, current news affairs etc. My sister calls it hyper fixation but ey! I'm not hurting anyone and it's a lot of fun.

But back to the main focus of this little blog post, the architecture! So what makes a Hampton house? Hamptons homes are defined by the following elements:

Weatherboard-style cladding

Gabled roof or gambrel roof style

Large windows and French doors letting in abundant natural light

Timber floors and staircases

Shaker-style kitchens

Ornateness and elegance

Bright, airy spaces

Minimalist open-plan kitchens

Moulding that is relatively flat

And here are some skecthes (not done by me), that show the architectural characteristic elements that I especially adore about Hamptons houses, which is the gambrel style roof, I find it so unique which is what makes these style of house so interesting to me.

Hamptons home interiors with their signature white and blue, beach style decor accented with soft wooden furniture and neutral colours, always tastefully complimented most often with tasteful decor and the beautiful blue and white ceramic vases with fresh flowers really give Hamptons homes the signature for which they are most loved. This combination creates the most calming atmosphere which is exactly why it makes sense for a vacation home, a place to relax and truly find peace, away from the hustle and bustle of the grind of city life.

So if this is your favorite style of home, I hope you've enjoyed this little post and I hope it's allowed you to take some inspiration for your own home projects. If not hopefully you've enjoyed this little piece I've shared and it's peaked your interest enough to add it to your list of travel destinations, as it has surely been placed on mine.

If you've been inspired and are interested in any designs you can contact my design studio Portal 154 Design Studio for a consultation.

Alright loves,

Ciao!

P.S. Last thing, here are some videos you can check out, the 2nd one has a nice historical breakdown of the History of the Hamptons.

Enjoy!

[brettyimages]

15 questions 15 mutuals

I was tagged by two beloved mutuals: @llllusion and @rock-n-rollin-bitch for this. I love you both 💞

1. Are you named after anyone? No, I have no idea where my name came from. My middle name is vaguely named after family in that there were distant family members on each side with variations of it, but overall nothing.

2. When was the last time you cried? I don't know! I'm not a crier at all, I thought I might lose it when Suede played Stay Together or She's In Fashion this year but I held it together. Genuinely no idea.

3. Do you have kids? No, I don't.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yeah. Less so now that I don't work face to face with people anymore.

5. What sports do you play/have you played? None, I've never been a sports person at all - I was an uncoordinated little kid at Highland dancing school and I think I gave up then and there.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their hair/how they're dressed.

7. What’s your eye color? Grey, like in that one New Order song.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings I think. I've realised recently that I do like horror films but I like slasher films, not monster movies. And while I don't mind a film that's left open-ended, I feel like I've wasted my time when I finish a book and they haven't tied up any of the plot points.

9. Any special talents? Define 'special'. My brain is an exhaustive database for songs and lyrics, and I'm really fast when it comes to knowing what number position every letter of the alphabet has, what the complementary colours are, all sorts of little pattern things like that which makes me really good at that one round of House Of Games and is probably an undiagnosed autistic trait.

10. Where were you born? In the one hospital in my region.

11. What are your hobbies? It's always been obsessing over music and musicians. Going to shows, particularly following my faves around on tour, travelling and spending the day with my friends freezing in a queue somewhere. Outside of that, I love art museums and I like painting, I like to read, journal (including keeping this blog, I suppose), and watch films.

12. Do you have pets? None.

13. How tall are you? 5'2".

14. Favorite subject in school? I liked Art and Music the most.

15. Dream Job? I'd like to be a researcher for pop culture documentaries/films/books/podcasts. I'm very good at quantitative research and mind-numbing data entry tasks; the boring repetitive stuff suits me well. If I could combine that with my interests that'd be fantastic.

Tagging: @jeffament @mumintroll @idiotslowdown @shesalayabout @champagneformyrealfriends @ddearpercocet @brltpop @pitlanetardis @galacticstar @stxrshxpxd @suede-self-titled-album @suede1993 @whats-her-name-virginia-plain <3

[starseneyes]

i love your spapel metas and analyses so much! keep them coming please!

can i ask you if you are a film or media studies graduate? because your posts are so well thought of and formulated.

Hello, Anon! Thank you so very much, and I'll do my best to keep 'em coming.

My background is incredibly varied, but it definitely all feeds into how I write these.

It all started with Little Rachel growing up on sets. Not only was I a background/bit actor/commercial actress from a young age, but my mother was a hair and makeup artist.

Whenever I was bullied in school, my mom took me on set. And folks there were welcoming. Directors almost always invited me to sit over their shoulders so I could see the monitors. I'd help out at Crafty. I got to run lines with Michael Rooker, once, as he prepped for a scene.

When mom worked on this one 90's show in Wilmington, she was too tired to collate her scripts by the time she got home. I volunteered to stay up and do it, which gave me the opportunity to see how revisions worked.

Sometimes we got advanced copies of episodes, and I'd sit down with my mother to see how they translated from script to screen, and then how the editors changed the advanced copies to the final versions that aired. It was all fascinating to me.

By age 13, I wrote my first screenplay for fun for Star Trek: Voyager. And I was constantly on editing teams and video teams in high school.

At 16, I joined AFTRA as a Voice Over Artist, and made a decent chunk of change doing it until 2008 when things went sideways in the industry. Also, the Studio where I was a contract player changed hands, and the new owner cared more about shareholders than us peons.

In college, I chose to go after Communications, and both my degrees are in it (Bachelors in Communications - Mass Media, Masters in Strategic Communication). But my minor was Film. I directed, edited, story-boarded, wrote, acted, and lit so many projects. Nothing ground-breaking, of course, but I learned a lot in the practicality of it and used my knowledge of growing up on sets to help our work really shine.

I went into Journalism between Freshman and Sophomore year and did that for many years, working in Broadcast and online journalism as a producer and researcher. My first job at 19 in the newsroom was to watch Iraq War and 9/11 footage and mark which parts were airable and which were not.

I transitioned into theater for a decade, there, and my film side took a step back. I've worked so many different jobs and for so many different clients.

Written articles, a cook book, website content, helped with front-end app development, emails, print pieces, etc. Professionally, these days, I'm a Digital Marketer. Been working freelance for 6 years, now.

I dream of writing TV (and I was a finalist with a Pilot of mine in a contest last year), but the reality is that living in Virginia makes my options and opportunities small. Having a Special Needs child makes moving to California without a job lined up pretty impossible.

But, I'm not disheartened. Chances still exist. Someday, perhaps, I'll sell a script. Perhaps, I'll get to act, again, when the time is right.

And in the meantime... I write scripts. I participate in online table reads with friends. I write these Metas and have so much fun using that portion of my brain, again.

Because while I'm so stoked these Metas have been well-received, I'd write them even if nobody read them. I write because I must. Because I love it. And because no matter where my life takes me... these bits and pieces remain a core part of me.

Anyway, that's a long-winded response, but hopefully I didn't offend you since you've made it through the Metas! Again, thank you for reading and asking the question! I wish you well in all you do.

[anakinsafterlife]

I'm going on such a tour of my old blorbos these days. Leaning hard into Anne of Green Gables, whom I already resembled in so many ways as a child, and then did my best to become utterly. I also read every LM Montgomery book there was, with the exception of her collected journals (something I might be inclined to read now).

I loved the movies with Megan Follows. They were so beautifully made, really quite faithful to the books, with gorgeous scenery, beautiful costumery, and lovely music. I've been rewatching them recently, for the first time since I was about ten-eleven years old, and I am amazed by how charming and powerful they really were without straying too far from the original material.

They're also very emotionally authentic without leaning too hard into the trauma Anne experienced in her early years as an orphan. This is the reason why I never get too far in Anne with an E, no matter how many times I try to watch it. Every episode is horribly triggering in some way, even while it addresses the same material that appears in the original books and movies. The writers seemingly *have* to keep demonstrating how difficult and damaging the life of an orphan was/is. This is the third or fourth time I've tried to watch the show, and I never make it further than halfway through the first season without freezing up.

I feel so much better watching the lovely old films and re-reading the books. Interestingly, Montgomery herself had a very difficult life, was frequently depressed, had a drug addiction, and apparently died of an overdose from the same. Yet her work consistently explores the more uplifting and inspiring aspects of life. And as much as I enjoy a good grimdark book/movie, Anne is such a bright soul, so drawn to the best and most beautiful aspects of living, that I feel it's doing her character a disservice to linger too long in dark places, even those that her experiences would have made probable.