#this is how I get through the working day tbh
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dollveis · 7 hours ago
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⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 !
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀you've got a fetish for my love
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❝ ELLIE WILLIAMS ❞⠀ ✿ you always push ellie away because you're sure you couldn't work together, but maybe you can under the bed sheets. 3.3k words.
pairing. jackson!ellie x fem!reader content warning! mention of consuming alcohol, smut, vague plot tbh, the smut it's actually pretty light and there's more tension and making out than anything, a bit of fluff and maybe angst if you squint, kind of a enemies to lovers but they're not completely enemies (just don't get along), open ending, oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), top!ellie, bottom! reader, there's not really a dom/sub dynamic here.
☆ this is the first thing i've wrote in like a year and a half so bear with me please, this also has been sitting in my drafts for two years already and i finished it just now. i hope this isn't that bad! if there's any grammatical mistakes please let me know, english is not my first language, enjoy ♡
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The party was obviously Dina's idea. She'd been going on about it for weeks now, how the younger crowd of Jackson needed a break, no one had barely time to just be and exist with all the patrolling, hunting and just surviving in general.
The party is already in full swing when you finally arrive, half the town's twenty-somethings crowding Dina's place. The warmth it's the first thing that hits you, the house is candlelit, the soft cracking of the fireplace and the strong scent of whiskey and woodsmoke fill your nostrils. The sound of laughter echoes from the living room, someone's half-drunk attempt at playing the guitar makes everyone laugh, you hear Dina's voice rising above it all, welcoming everyone, teasing people, just keeping the energy high. She really outdid herself, the whole place is alive in a way that Jackson rarely is.
And you hate it.
You immediately thought you shouldn't have come. The party is loud, too loud. It's not that you don't like the people here, you do, for most part, but crowds make you restless and you've spent the whole day convincing yourself that this? this isn't what you need, you should've stayed home but Dina insisted, said you were wound up too tight.
“Loosen up, drink a little, talk to someone who isn't your damn horse!” she said when she greeted you and saw that expression in your face, like if you were about to run back to your house.
So now you were stuck there, standing stiff against a wall, drink in hand and watching the room from a distance like it might swallow you whole.
Then your eyes land on her.
Ellie.
She's sitting in the corner, half sprawled on the couch, beer dangling from her slender fingers and her other arm resting lazily over the back of the couch, boots kicked up on the edge of a coffee table just if like she owns the fucking place. She's laughing at something Jesse just said, her head tilting back slightly, exposing the column of her throat. It's a rare sight— her guard down, her expression relaxed, warmth slipping through the usual sharp edges.
For a second you let yourself look, your gaze fixated on her. The way her shirt clings to her frame, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, her tattoo catching the dim light of the place. The way her fingers absently trace the label on her beer bottle. The way her green eyes flick across the room, scanning, searching, until they land on you.
There's a pause, a beat where neither of you look away. Then—
She smirks. Fucking smirks. She lifts her beer slightly, a silent acknowledgement of your presence, before taking a slow sip. She knows exactly what she's doing, she enjoys watching you bristle.
You scoff and turn away, pulse kicking up in annoyance. You and Ellie don't get along, y'all never have, she's stubborn, reckless, too sure of herself in a way that grates on your nerves. Every patrol together turns into a heated argument, every introduction a silent battle. It's not like she's mean, if anything, it'd be easier if she was, but she's just Ellie, all sharp words and cocky grins, pressing your buttons like it's a game. And she's determined to win it. For some reason she never lets up, not with you.
Maybe it's a game of push and pull and you always push first.
An hour passes, maybe more, two? you spend most of it trying to avoid her, talking to Dina, Jesse, anyone else but you feel her presence like a weight. Every time you glance her way, she's already looking, every time you move, she's just there and it's pissing you off.
You down the rest of your drink and push through the crowd, slipping down the back hallway, you don't run but you walk fast enough that it feels like it, you dodge Jesse's half-hearted attempt to pull you into some drinking game. You just need air, space—distance.
The first door you find is half open, a guest room, mostly unused since the bed was neatly made. You step inside, inhaling deeply, relishing the silence
Then the door shuts behind you, you don't even need to turn around to know who it is.
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter glaring at the ceiling, “do you ever take a hint?”
Ellie just chuckles, the sound low and amused, “Not when it's this much fun, to be honest,” and you don't even need to look around to know she has that stupid smirk plastered on her face.
You spin to face her, your eyes meeting her intense emerald eyes and your arms crossing tight over your chest, “What the hell do you want?”
She leans against the doorframe, her hand holding her chin like she was pretending to think, “dunno. . . maybe i just like seeing you squirm.”
Your jaw clenches and your fists close, “i'm not squirming.”
You see her smirk grow, a knowing look in her eyes, she looks at you like if she was able to read your thoughts and body language, like if she knew something you don't.
She steps closer, “no?”
You hate how easily she gets under your skin, how quickly she turns the air electric. The room feels smaller with her in it, the tension between you palpable. And the worst part? She knows.
You can feel the anger growing inside you, “why do you always do this?” you snap.
Through her lips escapes a soft chuckle as her brow raises, “do what?”
“This. You act like— like —” you exhale sharply, trying to put your mind in order and find the right words, “like you're trying to get a rise out of me.”
Another step, now you can smell the mix of beer and whiskey on her breath, the faint scent of smoke clinging to her shirt, “what if i am?” she says, her voice now lower, rougher.
You breath hitches, for a moment neither of you move, the tension is thick, suffocating, a rope pulled too tight between you, you're both too stubborn, too reckless, you'd burn each other out before you even had the chance to try.
Your heart pounds, your skin prickles, and fuck, you should push her away like you always do.
But you don't.
You take a step forward, closing the distance completely. Ellie doesn't flinch, doesn't back down, if anything she leans in, her usual green eyes now dark and heavy lidded, her smirk fading into something different. Something dangerous.
“You gonna keep pretending?” she murmurs close to your ear.
You don't answer, you can't because she's right and you both know it. So when she tilts her head, gaze flicking down to your lips— when she hesitates, waiting for you— you do the stupidest thing imaginable.
You kiss her.
The kiss is not soft, not sweet, there's frustration, months of tension unravelling all at once. Ellie makes a sound low in her throat, something between a gasp and a groan, and then she's grabbing you, fingers curling around the back of your neck, pulling you into her, pressing you against the door. The alcohol on her tongue is dizzying, her body solid and warm against yours and fuck, maybe you should stop. Maybe this is a mistake— but when she bites at your bottom lip, hands slipping under your jacket, pulling, teasing, demanding, you know there's no going back.
Ellie kisses like she fights, hungry, restless, all consuming. Her hands grip at your waist, pulling you impossibly close, fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt like she's trying to stake her claim. The taste of her mouth makes your head spin. You should stop, you really should, you keep repeating that to yourself in your mind but when she presses you harder against the wall, when she nips at your lower lip and swallows the soft, sweet sound it pulls from your throat— you don't. You won't.
Your hands move on their own, fisting into the front of her shirt, yanking her closer, until there's barely any space left between the both of you. You feel Ellie exhale sharply against your lips, a quiet, breathy curse before tilting her head to deepen the kiss. Months of pent-up frustration unraveling with every movement.
Her hands now drag under your jacket, fingers slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, her rough and calloused fingers grazing over your bare skin. The touch sends a shiver through you, your breath hitching as she maps the contours of your waist, ribs, back and dangerously close to your chest.
“Fuck,” Ellie mutters against your mouth, voice husky and almost desperate, “you're—” she cuts herself off, biting at your lip again before pulling back just enough to look at you.
Your chest rises and falls in tandem, lips swallowed and face flushed. And, God, that sight was delightful for her, she could feel herself getting wet just by looking at you, her pupils are blown wide, green eyes dark and unreadable as they flick between your lips and your gaze. She's still gripping at your waist, still pressing you into the door, but there's hesitation now— like she's waiting, like she's asking, like she needs you to make the next move.
You exhale, reaching up, letting your fingers tangle in the short hairs at the nape of her neck. She shivers under your touch, just barely, and something about that sends a thrill directly to your core, making you bolder and almost demanding.
You tug her back in, Ellie groans softly as your lips crash together again, her hands gripping tighter, wandering and exploring beneath your shirt, sometimes her hands traveling to graze your chest. She moves like she's trying to memorize you, like she's been waiting too long for this moment and doesn't want to waste a second of it.
Somewhere between kisses and touches she starts backing you up slowly, steady, until the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and your stomach tightens.
Ellie pulls away slightly, breath ghosting over your lips, “tell me to stop.”
You obviously don't. Instead, you hook a finger into her belt loop and pull, letting yourself fall back onto the mattress, bringing her down with you. She lets out a breathless chuckle, bracing herself with her hands on either side of your head.
“Yeah?” she murmurs, voice teasing but still rough around the edges, like she's barely holding herself together.
You swallow, breath shaky, “yeah.”
And that's all she needs. She kisses you again, even deeper this time, slower, like she wants to savor it. The weight of her body presses into you, her thigh slotting between yours and pressing it softly against your core, the heat of her touch setting your skin ablaze.
She takes her time now, trailing her lips down your jaw, your neck and collarbone, her hands moving and groping deliberately, teasing your nipples over your shirt. You arch into her touch, finger gripping at her shirt, nails dragging lightly down her back.
Ellie exhales shakily, her lips barely brushing against your skin as she murmurs, “I knew you wanted me.”
You laugh, breathless and heady, tilting your head back as she marks your neck with her mouth, “shut up and prove it.”
And Ellie doesn't hesitate at all now, the second your words leave your mouth, she moves— lips tracing a slow path down your throat, hands now gripping your waist with just enough pressure to keep you grounded. The heat between you is unbearable, every inch of your body hyper aware of her. She really takes her time, dragging her fingers along the hem of your shirt but not directly touching, she's just teasing, testing. Like she's giving you again the chance to change your mind, like she wants you to stop her and you won't.
You tilt your head back, giving her more room to work, breath hitching as her lips graze over your collarbone. Your fingers curl into the fabric of her shirt, tugging her closer, needing more, she grins against your skin, clearly pleased, before shifting her weight just enough to pull your jacket off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.
The room is quiet except for your breaths and soft moans, the faint crackling of a candle in the dresser, the muffled sound of the party still going outside. It feels like another world, distant, unimportant. Right now it's just you and her.
Ellie leans back to look at you, her green eyes searching your gaze, “you sure?”
And that almost made you roll your eyes, wasn't the whole situation obvious enough?
You exhale, heart pounding and voice low, “Ellie.”
That's all it takes. She kisses you again, her hands slip under your shirt, fingers warm against your skin as she softly gropes your tits, sending a shiver down your spine. You press into her touch, drinking in every sensation, every little sound she makes as your hands wander, lifting the hem of her shirt, feeling the taut muscle beneath. She groans when you drag your nails down her back and the sound sends a rush of heat directly between your thighs. A slow, aching need building, making your head spin.
The bed creaks slightly as she shifts, settling between your thighs like earlier, her weight pressing you deeper into the mattress. When her knee makes friction with your wet and aching pussy, you gasp, fingers tangling in her hair, pulling her back down to you, lips meeting in a heated, breathless rhythm.
She moves like she wants to take her time, like she's been waiting for this moment as long as you have but neither of you have the patience for that.
Clothes come off in slow, teasing increments— shirts and pants slipping, fingers tracing new paths along the bare skin. You shudder at the warmth of her mouth trailing lower and lower, her lips leaving marks you know won't fade by morning. She's restless, enjoying every reaction, every gasp and sharp inhale.
When she finally, finally, presses closer, when her wet mouth meets your core through your panties, when her fingers tighten against your hip,it's nothing like fighting. There's no sharpness, no stubborn push-and-pull, there's no battle to win.
Just heat. Just the press of her body against yours, just the slow, aching rhythm her tongue sets, the way she whispers your name like it's the only thing she knows. Just her.
She pulled away her mouth for a moment, enjoying the sight of soaking wet panties, your own fluids mixed with her saliva. With her free hand she began to rub up and down your slit, the thin fabric of your underwear making the friction even more delicious.
The way she was edging is making you crazy, she finally decide to move the fabric aside, she iz quick to attach her warm mouth directly to your, already, sensitive clit as her two of her fingers make their way to the entrance of your needy hole. A gasp escapes your lips when you feel her calloused fingers teasing it at the same time she sucks and licks your clit. The humid sounds of her mouth making your arousal grow even more and she knows.
Her lips let your clit go for a moment, she speaks in a lustful, almost velvety, tone, “i prefer when you're like this and not fighting me back,” and you can't even fight or bite back, you just whimper in response and she grins before going back to work.
She finally stops teasing your entrance and she slips one finger inside you, slick dripping down to her wrist. She was quick to find your spongy spot and she presses exactly where you need and while a soft moans leaves your lips, she inserts another finger, feeling how your walls clench against her digits.
The feeling of her fingers pressing your g-spot as her lips latching onto your bud quickly turns to be too much, you don't even know where to grip, you feel like you need something to keep you grounded, your whines and whimpers music to her ears.
And you don't know how much time passes but the room is warm, your breath stutters as Ellie moves against you, her fingers shifting slightly inside you, every touch, every word, sending a wave of arousal. She's steady, controlled, like she's savoring every second, like she's engraving this moment in her memory.
You, on the other hand? You're unravelling, your hands grip at her naked back, your fingers pressing at her warm skin, desperate to keep her close, to pull her even closer. She responds with a quiet, breathy chuckle, but there's roughness to it, a slight tremor beneath her confidence that tells you she's just as lost in this as you are.
She leans in, pressing her forehead to yours, breaths mingling, eyes half-lidded as she watches you, “you're so fucking stubborn,” she murmurs, her voice rough and teasing.
You let out a shaky laugh, tilting your head back as her lips find your throat, “look who's talking.”
Ellie hums in agreement against your pulse, her grip tightening at your waist before she started to move again inside you, it was slow and measured but intentional, the way her fingers curl inside you pulls an embarrassing sound from you, but she swallows it with her mouth, kissing you deep, hungry. She doesn't let up, doesn't rush, just takes her time learning you, every sound, every shiver, every spot that makes your breath hitch. It's infuriating and intoxicating all at once, the way she knows exactly what she's doing.
And when she finally pushes you past that point, when you can't think, can't breathe, can't do anything but feel her, when you're about to hit ecstasy— she murmurs your name against your skin, like it's a confession, like she's giving you something she hasn't given to anyone else.
When the tension finally shatters, your fingers curl against her back, scratching her, pulling her down into you as everything blurs, melts, breaks. She helps you to ride your orgasm, cooing you with sweet words and praises even if everything you can say it's just “hah-ahh” and moan.
The aftershocks leave you both breathless, tangled in each other, skin sticky with heat and effort. Neither of you move for a long moment, just lying there, letting the world settle back into place around you.
Ellie shifts first, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your shoulder before resting her head against your chest. Her fingers trace lazy forms over your side, absentminded.
You exhale, your body still trembling slightly, you lift a shaky hand to run through her hair, pushing damp strands from her forehead. Silence lingers between you, but it's not uncomfortable. It's new, uncertain, but not something you want to pull away from just yet.
The auburn haired girl lets out a slow breath, pressing a kiss to your marked collarbone before murmuring, “still think we don't work?”
You huff a quiet laugh, shifting beneath her, “i still think you talk too much.”
She grins, biting lightly at your shoulder in retaliation before settling back down, “yeah, sure,” a pause. Then quieter, more serious, “you're not gonna run, are you?”
Your stomach tightens at that, at the way she asks like she already knows the answer, like she's bracing herself. You hesitate, your fingers playing with her hair.
You don't know what this is, what it means, if it even means anything at all. Maybe you'll still fight on patrol, still push each other's buttons, still refuse to admit how deep this thing between you two really runs.
But right now, here, in the quiet warmth of this bed? You don't want to leave.
“No…” you finally murmur, feeling the way her body relaxes against yours at the answer, “not tonight.”
Ellie hums, pressing one last kiss to your skin before sighing, “good.”
And for now, that's enough.
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greenleaf4stuff · 3 days ago
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Hi and thank you for the tag @gauntletgirlie! <3 The tag game is a wonderful idea, but I want to spread the posivity both ways. So um - I will do it my own way. Aka, I will give the person who tagged me compliments and also compliment the people I am tagging. That way everyone in this post gets the positivity they deserve I feel like. <3
@gauntletgirlie: You already write so well for someone who has just shared their own writing for the first time; I love the way you wrote Adar's and Celebrimbor's dynamic in your silverscars fic, the way Adar tried to keep his distance and Celebrimbor gently but insistently got closer to him and coaxed him into giving into his desires; you had me sitting there like "ohhh I wish this continued" and "I hope she writes more!" after I finished reading <3
Now for the people I am tagging (absolutely zero pressure to respond btw! I mean it! I am doing this because I want to, not because I expect anything in return!):
@plotdesigner Your lore and world building for the uruk is absolutely stunning and wonderful an I love every little detail I learn about them in your fic(s); I love the way you alternate POVs between characters and manage to give them distinct, individual voices and rich inner lives, even going the extra mile to write Adar in the 2nd person POV; you have a lovely way of weaving in little bits of humor that feels very adequate for the circumstances and also humanizes the characters a lot!
@themalhambird Your Adar/Finrod fic had some very well-developed OCs that were very distinct and interesting to read about, each had their own individual voice; the pairing wasn't something I thought I would be interested in but I finished the little fic before I knew what had happened; the way you wrote the interaction between the main pair was sweet and heart-wrenching to the point it made me emotional (I mean that as a compliment!)
@thephoenixandthecrocodile I love the dynamic between Adar, Celebrimbor and Narvi, they all have their strengths and weaknesses and complement each other very well, I love how you give each character weaknesses and humanizing elements that make them so very relatable; I think it is so cool that your first fanfic is a multi-chapter one and already goes on for so long - that is quite the feat! (and that your 2nd is also multi chapter and finished! Congrats!); I'd love to see more of the way your throuple develops Mordor together, the concept of a dwarven/elvish/uruk construction sounds so cool! and also what their relationship will be like in the future!
@gingeragenda The one fic of yours I read (Adar/Balrog) took a concept that should have been difficult to pull off and made it seem effortless; the interaction (cough) between the two was very sexy; despite the fact that the Balrog got sent out for rather sinister purposes, there was a tenderness that I did not expect between the two characters that I quite enjoyed while reading!
@wowstrawberrycow I love how you want to give Adar good, soft and cute things always, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside; I loved the dynamic between him and Gil-Galad in your AU fic, how Gil is taking care of him as best as he can and is a rock for Adar; love the worldbuilding so far, despite the dire circumstances, there is hope shining through and the two are fighting so hard to carve out their happiness. It's really fascinating!
I think I as a writer I am somewhere between "good most of the time" and "every so often I have a good line" tbh; my lovely readers, mutuals and friends on here make me feel like I am a very good writer (TYSM!) while I myself would tend to believe I am...okay? Maybe? If I have a good day. ^_^'
Writing compliment for myself...I manage to write and share my works despite a lot of self-doubt, anxiety and perfectionism? Does that count?
I want to do a compliment exercise. I got the idea from a poll I saw.
First, vote on this poll:
Now, reblog and tag 5 writers that you would want to see do this (no pressure, of course)... and in your CAPTION (not tags), give 3 compliments to the person you reblogged this from's writing. In your TAGS (not caption), put what your answer was.
Give yourself at least one writing compliment too, while you're at it.
If you reblog it from me, don't worry about doing the compliments since almost none of you have actually read my writing (if any of you have 😅).
If you really want to do the compliments for me, you can compliment something else but it isn't necessary when reblogging from the original source.
Let's get a compliment/positivity/love thread going. ❤️
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didyoulookforme · 1 day ago
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1 with post Matty PLSSSS
Allllll my love,
Belle <3
overwhelmed, but happy crying during sex
from the prompt list here
so, about a year after you officially became a couple, you finally ask if he wants to move in with you :') i mean, he might as well be the third member of the household (counting sweet pup kevin) since he already has a ton of his clothes there and even his own spot in your closet and dresser, lol. obviously, matty is overjoyed and totally emotional when you ask because what do you mean the woman of his literal (wet) dreams is letting him share your space?!
anyway, he says yes and that night he can’t stop beaming when he gets back home, endlessly telling hann about how ecstatic he is, how perfect you are, and how he’d do anything for you. he nearly forgets that now poor adam is going to be without a roommate, but adam is happy for him and, tbh, it might not be the worst thing to avoid waking up to matty roaming around in his boxers every morning.
a couple of weeks later, it's moving day and matty wakes up super early, freaking out about what if it doesn't work out, or if you get sick of him, or if he ends up annoying you. he calls you around 6:30 am to check for the one millionth time if you're sure. you're genuinely endeared by him (it's rare to see him lose his shit) so you just smile while comforting him and assure him that you'll want this as long as he does.
the boys and bff mandy have all offered to help out, but matty is the first one to show up at your place to drop off a few things before the bigger move. when you open the door, he's greeted with a big hug and dozens of kisses that instantly melt his heart because you're so excited the day is finally here. he's honestly overwhelmed by all the emotions swirling inside him. and it's not helped when you lead him to what used to be your office and studio, which is now completely empty. he's obviously confused and he tries so hard to lose it as you explain that you moved your stuff to a smaller room so he could have a space to truly call his own. he nearly drops the box he's carrying, scoops you up, and whispers a flurry of "i love you so fucking much, darling," "are you sure?" and "you don't have to do this."
with everyone helping, it doesn't take long for them to get everything to your place, meaning you're done in just a few hours and have the rest of the day to get matty settled in. you've definitely noticed that matty is quieter than usual, and he reassures you that he's okay. that he's just always thought of this day when you would actually live together, and now that it's here, it feels like a dream.
you spend much of the day organizing what turns out to be matty's new music space, quietly working while records play in the background. once you decide you're done, you suggest showering together because, you know, a move is sweaty, lol, and you do, spending a lot of time holding each other and making out. when you finish, it's sweet and domestic, getting dressed side by side. a routine you've done plenty of times before, but now it's different because it can happen every day if you want it. matty can't help but smirk as you immediately rummage through his clothes to find one of his favourite shirts for you to wear. just seeing you in his shirt and panties, so damn comfortable with him, is the definition of perfection.
you order dinner and share some wine while cuddling on the couch with sweet kev, occasionally stealing glances at each other like you can’t believe this is really happening. and again, when you do something super domestic such as washing the dishes together, it tugs at matty's heartstrings and he's now beyond overjoyed, feeling almost scared at how fucking happy and at home he feels.
when you finally end up in bed, it doesn't take long for you two to start making out again, but it's different than most times. it's very slow and gentle compared to your usual eagerness to devour each other from the first second. he's on top of you, arms on either side of your head while your fingers are tangled in each other's. you're secretly over the moon as you fucking love it when he's very careful with you so you're savouring every single second of his gentle kisses on your lips, every now and then biting and pulling at his bottom lip to make him laugh (and moan). matty's head is spinning at how good it feels to grind himself against you, really enjoying every single time your hips meet. he's so lost in the intimacy that he barely registers when you ask if you can have sex, and who is he to deny you? with one last peck on your nose, he gets up to undress and you're about to do the same, but he reaches over to stop you. "please keep on the shirt." so you drop your arms and only take off your underwear, very enamoured at the fact that he loves it when you wear his clothes.
matty ends up under the bedding and on top of you again, letting you jerk him off a bit before you guide him inside you. he's so fucking gentle that you feel every single inch of him fill you up, and when he bottoms out, he just stays there for a moment while kissing you again, because honestly, he doesn't know how long he'll last once he starts moving his hips. but he eventually does, going so slowly as he nestles his face in the crook of your neck, both of you holding each other so tight as he moves inside you. he keeps moaning against your ear, making the prettiest sounds, but you immediately notice when his voice starts to quiver so you quietly ask him to stop. you cup his face so you can look at him, and a knot forms in your throat when you see his glassy eyes and the tears rolling down his cheeks.
your mind starts to race a thousand miles per second, and you guess the worry in your eyes is obvious because he reassures you right away that he's okay. more than okay, in fact. he's just overwhelmed because he's now here in your home. "our home," you correct him, which makes him cry a bit more, and his voice gets shakier as he mentions that he's so fucking happy but doesn't want to mess things up with you ever again because this is all he's ever wanted. you feel some of his tears fall on your face and it reminds you there's only been one other time you've seen matty cry, and it makes you feel so many things at how open he's being with you as you know emotions are not easy for him.
you have to focus so hard not to cry yourself, but you somehow manage. instead, you wipe away the tears from his cheeks, replacing them with small kisses while telling him you love him over and over again. "you know that, right?" he slowly nods, shutting his eyes tight as he tries his best not to cry on you again. you feel his breath start to slow and his shoulders relax before he kisses you, telling you he loves you too. more than anything.
after a few more minutes of kissing, you can't help but giggle at how distraught he is as he apologizes for crying while he's still inside you. "kinda romantic and sexy," you tease, and he rolls his eyes so hard at that before mumbling "if you say so" against your lips. he makes sure to ask if he can start moving again, and you eagerly respond by grabbing his ass and guiding him back into you. it's still all so sweet and tender, yet it feels so fucking good because of how deep he is inside you. he also asks if he can cum inside you, but only does so after you've finished, too, always wanting to make sure his girl is taken care of.
it ends up with both of you being super sweaty and in need of another shower, where you finally ask if he can fuck you hard, which he obviously does, and now you're the one crying. not from sadness or nerves, but because of how good he's railing you against the bathroom tile <3
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lunastarhawk · 2 months ago
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Character/ship playlists
The Arcana
Roughly route adjacent
A lot of overlap between these tbh
Cover image from picrew
Cover image by ladywarlock03
This one is a bit story adjacent and then sort of errrr becomes a mess of songs that are thematical at least. And some relating to chapters not yet written.
Cover image by ladywarlock03
Dragon Age
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datcravat · 2 months ago
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It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 5 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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rexscanonwife · 1 year ago
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I wanna talk today. I wanna develop my potential ship with Miss Pauling some more 🥺💖💖
It's lowkey because I think it'd be really funny that scout is my brother and has been trying to get with her for YEARS and also potentially slightly angsty since we've always been so close and that might cause a rift/rivalry between us but also?? She's just so CUTE, I really wanna reread the comics because she's soooo so precious in them 🥺💘💘💘💘
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LOOK AT HER IN HER LITTLE DUNGEON MASTER GETUP FROM ONE OF THE HALLOWEEN COMICS😭😭
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talentforlying · 1 year ago
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idk if john will ever realize just how many times his big sister has had to mourn him because his idiot ass showed up on her doorstep to say a "final goodbye" and then just dropped off the grid for months afterwards. figure out the cell phone thing, man.
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nonsensechemicals · 2 months ago
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i���ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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wordwizards · 25 days ago
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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year ago
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also I had a breakthrough today that I had in fact overthought a Specific Problem to Death and that I had created a monster in my own mind and that’s why it felt like I was being eaten alive every time I tried to solve it.
#not to put too fine a point on it but that’s what happened with the whole is Maria going to become a nun question tbh#and I needed a counselor to say to me objectively and yet also crucially without any knowledge of me or my past:#you have overthought this and now you’re terrified of it#anyway it’s so obvious but it came home to me today. slowly.#like it was just like. Oh. You did it again#you’re terrified of this because you have thought of every possibility and every outcome and every twist and turn and shadow—-#until it has become a bloated demon in your mind that is totally separated from reality#while made up of real facts and details! and tbh I know it’s a common problem#but the anxiety chokehold I can put myself in is something that is so impressive and so disturbing#I can render myself absolutely helpless through the meanderings of my own thoughts#and what makes it worse—immeasurably worse—is that I get OUT of problems through careful thought and analysis#I’m programmed that way#so I can’t escape it by the usual means. I have to back away from the monster and see it and NAME it and then it can die away.#and only THEN can I apply my usual ways of going about things. I don’t know it just all clicked today#these past few days have just been bringing it all to a fever pitch for me#anyway I guess it’s also important to me that I still be allowed to be analytical about it!!! I have to use my brain!!!!!!!#in my desperation I have tried to shut it off to feel only with my heart. To try to catch the whisper of God’s voice in the wind#but tbh I am meant to use the gifts I have! But only in the right context#and that’s only after the demon has been killed or more accurately —deflated#my counselor has been so good about this tbh. she’s so matter of fact and blunt and salt of the earth and also she sees how my mind works#and wants me to be able to use it!!#so I’m just going to tell her that I did the bad thing with this other problem and can she help me find a way forward#ANYWAY THE MONSTERS TURNED OUT TO BE JUST TREES
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wereh0gz · 1 year ago
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Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency
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the-physicality · 22 days ago
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paige shouting out tash cloud at every opportunity....love that
#can i say something.#i think because of tash's career track she's been very underappreciated#like she had 3rd most assists in the league last year#and that's with having several excellent passers on the team as well#and the fact that she regularly defends 4s [and was one of the more successful merc to do so last year]#tbh even the fans [like league fans] don't see it#and i think. even though she has that 200k contract [and deserves it]#many FO don't see her as invaluable#and like i understand why you would only want one big contract on the team between at and tash. like from a roster construction standpoint#i get it. i will be interested to see how the mercury do this year bc it's going to be a whole new system#apparently bg left bc they wanted to move away from the 4-1 setup idk#and i was thinking more about why the merc crashed out last year#i think it got into someone's head that they needed a 4 to rebound even though the system worked when everyone was healthy#and like having 3 of 5 starters either out or going through something after the break that will change a team#but the way they didn't have a consistent bench didn't help#and part of that is players and part of it is the flexibility you want to use when you have so many players on 7 days or minimums#and taking bec out of the line up makes it really tough bc she is such a good defender and versatile player#and it's not like they couldn't lock in and defend. they could. it just didn't happen all the time#and the perimeter defense sucked#and the more i think about it the more i think they should have started celeste in that 4 spot even though she's smaller she can defend#and the other thing is it wasn't totally the roster bc like we were competitive in those last two games#but i think part of the issue came with the reliance on the 3. even though most of the time the ball movement was good#well it was good with the starters in. there was one shot clock violation in that last game with seattle... oof#so i guess what i'm saying is i'm curious if the coaching will be different next year with larger players and more defenders#but that paige shouts tash out at every opportunity#well 2. first it was the style [makes sense] then it was the 1 on 1 play#just because she wasn't the biggest name on the roster didn't mean she wasn't incredibly valuable#and to decide in one offseason that you want to burn it down and start fresh is wild to me#and i think their decision to do that made bg explore fa#but aside from the positional overlap this trade happened bc phx doesn't have any assets
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quietlyblooms · 2 months ago
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good morning!! i stayed up late to finish the first season of a.rcane, so now i feel like a crushed potato chip :’ ) but it’s cool :’ ))
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umemiyan · 4 months ago
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i have semi-concluded that my hormones are probably fucking with me more than i thought lately nksdkdknd once again i envy everyone who has a normal reproductive system
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devilsskettle · 4 months ago
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my workplace is gonna have extended hours coming up so my life is going to be miserable for 2 months starting in 2 weeks
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