#this is honestly a bit of a mess sorry
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sheriff luz | modern au | 'dearly departed'
george luz lives a quiet life as a local sheriff, but everyone knows that hiding from your past in a small town never ends well
you and i both know that the house is haunted, and you and i both know that the ghost is me
cowboy collab: #easy ranch #easy company cowboys
#cowboy collab#easy company cowboys#george luz#band of brothers#bobcollab#easy ranch#this is honestly a bit of a mess sorry#i just thought i'd put someone on the other side of the law for the collab and rick gomez delivered me a fucked up sheriff#pretty much on a platter actually so yeah#i ended up making this on a whim instead of the other george moodboard i had originally planned#and now i'm actually writing this au apparently#i've got the bones of a luztoyelip fic revolved around this already formed in my brain so i guess i'm writing that now#if i got the collab tags wrong lemme know i am tagging this purely from memory and i could very well be wrong#julian made a thing#julian writes#i guess this is a wip now
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iceland, circa 1200
my personal thought process and analysis under cut
iceland has always been an extremely isolated island, experiencing very little cultural change in its first few hundred years of inhabitance, and even then it was quite small.
in the canon comics portraying young iceland it was shown that he did not even know there were other nations like him out there, adding to how extremely isolating being an immortal on an island with just yourself and your bird friend would be.
visiting iceland for the other nations would be like travelling for weeks to have a babysitting gig. who would want to do that?
iceland only became a developed country in about the 20th century with industrialisation, population booms following the world wars, and the marshall plans economic benefits. there’s a lot of reason to believe he stayed as a young child for a very very long time.
the picture i draw features a very young iceland looking at an arctic tern chick. a migration of arctic terns are seen in the sky leaving without this chick.
arctic birds breed in the northern nations such as iceland and travel as far south as antartica for the summer.
hws iceland looks at the chick who will surely die young as he continues to live as a child for hundreds of years. like the chick, his family dont return for him even when he’s struggling and needs help and instead carry on without him.
the nothingness of the space above him is more representation of isolation as is how far up the migrating arctic terns are, illustrating the distance between him and all other nations.
he stands with his only friend, his puffin, as they watch a chick that both contrasts what he is yet resembles too much of himself and he envies the death that will become on it.
(close up)
#hws iceland#aph iceland#hetalia#my art#putting the hundreds of hours of research on historical icelandic clothing to use#bird symbolism#love birds so much#sorry for being edgy about a hetalia drawing i made#i kinda messed up the lighting a little bit#oh well#honestly really proud of this one folks
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if you're looking for fursonas for FL OCs, could i request the apologist as a red deer?
Here you go!
#ive apparently never drawn an anthro deer before so honestly thank you for the opportunity!!#they're weirdly shaped creatures but they make a bit more sense to me now wahoo#furlen london#art#the scientist scribbles#others ocs#the violant scrawling apologist#sorry if i messed up the antlers red deer have such complicated point setups dksgkdbsk
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I love TMA and I love the slenderverse, so I kinda mixed them together? We have a Habit in our system, and he has lots of eyes, So i thought, huh, what if i made this drawing of him into a TMA thing? Then I added myself how I look in IW and our boyfriend's sona as avatars too, because why not.
Anyway, Full WIP sketch with Habit included under the thingy because his eyes are so many and all grouped together so they could trigger trypophobia? They do for Vin, so
also the fear of eyes? What's that called? Scopophobia
yeah, anyway
Currently a very rough sketch, but I'm so proud of it and oh my god it's taken me HOURS. Literally 11 hours of actually working on the drawing lmao, it's so much
Habit is an avatar of the Hunt that got taken over by the Eye
Vin's sona is an avatar of the Stranger and the Lonely
Mine is an avatar of the Dark and maybe something else but idk (my initial idea for me was Dark and End, but im not really sure about that anymore? There's not much that's End-y about the design for me lol, I'll have to do some more thinking for that). Maybe the Vast, because space. I love space and the moon and space is dark so it goes well with the Dark. I'm just rambling now lmao)
#trypophobia#scopophobia#sys art#TMA and the slenderverse and our own internal lore crossover? God know what this is#Never mind. I'm god. Chaos is what it is lmao#I'm so unbelievably proud of it so far tho. even though its still a bit of a mess. I honestly want the drawing of Habit as a tattoo#but if i did that my boyfriend would never be able to look at me again because lots of little holes all clustered together & gross looking#I wonder if anyone's got a tattoo that makes part of their body look like jane prentis. just all rotten and hole-y. sorry. anyway#art wip#everymanhybrid#habit everymanhybrid#everymanhybrid fanart#oc art#sona art#the magnus archives#the magnus archive fanart#the eyepocalypse#slenderverse
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coming on here just to teehee over an encounter today bc im too embarrassed to on my main account DBFJDKL but ... I'll call this guy Jay, he's a very chill nice guy and he goes to the centre that i go to (mental health activity centre lol) and i think he's in his late 30s? last week he had a pair of pants that he bought but didn't fit him and he couldn't return them bc it was from a store out of town that the centre had gone to on a day trip, so he offered to give them to me maybe bc they might fit me. and i took them and they're SUCH nice pants, i unfortunately dont have any money to give him and feel a little bad abt that but he didnt ask for any so fhdksl nice new pants for me i guess
anyways so today I was walking to the centre from the hospital and saw him walking too, so i joined him and we chatted a little as we walked, and i was wearing the pants today and he asked if they fit well and i was like yeah! and he asked if i needed to use a belt or anything on them, and i was like oh haha yeah im wearing one, and he goes "yeah cuz you're so small, huh?" and i said "yeahhh i have to use a belt on most pants i own haha" bc i didnt want him like. thinking the pants didnt fit or smth. and then he goes "aw thats really cute" before moving onto another topic AND I'M... FLUSTERED AT THAT POINT. idk if that was flirting or if I'm just insane but SBDHFJDKSL.... 🧍
#much to my chagrin i do rly like being small and i get flustered so easily when ppl point it out .... 😭😭😭#like i wish i was normal about it but DBDHDKL it's just... I DUNNO. it's been echoing thru my head since that happened SBDHDJDKL WAUGH.#broke my brain a little im not gonna lie 😭😭 i am a MESS#anyways once again. this is never gonna go anywhere but i think its sort of fun to indulge in a little in my brain LOL#the issue w me being attention starved is that it's SOOOO easy to fluster me 😭😭 its embarrassing honestly djdkl its so bad#i was a mess in highschool when there was this girl who loved teasing me omfg i was ready to go crawl into a hole LMFAO#LIKE. CAN I JUST BE COOL. FOR A BIT. PLEASE. AND NOT FALL APART IMMEDIATELY.#anyways. sorry this is an insane post FHFJDKL but i have to share somewhere or I'll keep pacing around thinking abt it LMAO#dandy.cmd
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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... well it's that time of the year already. If anyone's got a Star Trek ask I'd love a distraction <3
#was really hoping the new year could be a reset ugh#but this last week Alone has been so tragic#this lovely man who used to be the watchman at my school died#he wasn't even that old#he's been around as long as I can remember... he used to remember all our names & chat with all our parents & grandparents & now he's gone#just out of the blue#& then this girl I literally played with as a kid just randomly got this massive brain bleed out of nowhere#she's YOUNG like she's only a handful of years older than me she's literally still in her 20s I think. she has a newborn baby#now she's in critical care and we don't even know if she'll make it. she's my mum's best friend's daughter we literally hung out#idk this is messing me up a bit... like#it's insane how anything can just happen it's insane how little time we have it's insane#cw death#(I don't have many followers but if anyone wants me to start tagging these vent posts anything else pls do say so lol)#(I honestly thought I'd made the last of them)#(but unfortunately people I know just! keep! dying! & I can't really complain like this anywhere else. sorry)
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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Grief really is a bitch because while I fully expected to be a crying mess (and i have moments where I am). Instead it decided to attack my body with either lack of sleep/shitty sleep, my skin breaking out or my new favorite one, stomach pain that’s been going on for 3 days mixed with migraines. Love this for me
#im trying not to be a crying mess bc my grandpa didnt want us to be crying like crazy#but i also think it hasnt caught up with me yet#but then ive also been numb to literally everything#im trying to force myself to be online at least a bit but I honestly cant find it in me to care rn#im sorry :/
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Gotta say being Persian is funny because you're too white for progressives to care about your representation but not white enough to not get called camel-riders
#Yeah my family's actually gotten called stuff like that before. I think I haven't myself but even my like IMMEDIATE family has#gotten called like slurs and shzt. And honestly I think me having not dealt with that yet might just be because I'm not social#I mean like pretty much until the school I go to now I've always been a target for bullying or picking on or condescending#Like I wouldn't be surprised if if I didn't wear headphones all the time or if I had tried to listen in on conversations if I would've hear#Them calling me reprehensible crap but. Idk maybe they even did to my face when I was too young to remember now I have no clue now.#Like my first school was where my brothers went and I haven't talked to [oldest] but [older] told me recently he was like. really mistreate#Like they called him “sand [n word]” you can't make this shzt up.#And I was bullied there too but I didn't really ever know WHY so. Yeah I'm starting to think this was maybe the reason-#But idk. It was so long ago my memories are too fuzzy.#sorry this is such a mess I just kinda wanted to vent a bit I guess
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i carded and spun yarn and made bofur's gloves from the hobbit movie. if u even care
#ITS A MESS SORRY first time spinning wool and the fiber i used is#more commonly used for felting#so u know how it is . its a bit stiff#and it was full of lil second cuts so shes a bit blobby#meybe dont reblog im self conscious but hi . have my wonky fingers on ur dash#his gloves are really just seed stitch all the way but i added some ribbing to the bottom#honestly theyre so wretched but theyre the first thing i ever made completely from scratch so i love them also#heres your sign to participate in the divine act of creation#yarn tag#< for my future yarn stuff
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Ok I'm curious, could you elaborate on art school education when you have the time?
Mainly because my friend went to art high school and feels she wasted all the years there while I've been self-teaching myself for a few months by just messing around, so I was wondering just how different the two approaches are :0
Oh, I have lots and lots of thoughts on art education. I do feel that I need to preface this with the whole "my experience is not universal", bc all my feelings about art and art education stem from my own experiences of being self-taught and then getting actual formal college degrees in art.
The shortest version of my long rant, under the cut, is that there isn't a superior way to learn art. With art education, you run the risk of getting bad teachers who don't teach the subject well, and you can also run into teachers who aren't open-minded about approaches to art that differ too much from their own--the flipside, of course, is that there are sometimes amazing teachers who can challenge you to try new things you'd never had thought of on your own, or who have already made a lot of mistakes that they can tell you about so you don't have to make them yourself. With being self-taught, you have to figure out everything on your own, and sifting through online tutorials or reading books can be difficult to find "actually useful and well-explained" advice, but you do also get the freedom of doing literally whatever you want and really focusing what you learn based on what you're actually interested in. Each has it's pros and cons, but neither is technically better or worse, per se, although education of any sort comes down a lot to each person's situation in life, as not everyone has access to education or even the tools for making art.
For the long, long expansion of my thoughts and some of my personal experiences with art education specifically...
In short, I'm technically entirely self-taught, despite holding two different art degrees. Aside from some feedback I got from my 8th grade art teacher (who had agreed to look at my hobby art in her own spare time outside of class), I basically taught myself to draw entirely on my own, using various "how to draw" books, online tutorials, and just a lot of general experimentation and continued drawing on my own. Which meant I made a lot of mistakes, or didn't try out certain things, or got frustrated bc I couldn't figure out how to do something, but overall I had a lot of fun. The actual art classes I took in middle and high school? Well, I took a life drawing class in high school that taught me how to draw from life, a skill I never would have acquired on my own bc the process for learning that skill requires a lot of patience, and personally, I find life drawing to be extremely boring. My high school art teacher was also allowing blatant copyright infringements to occur in her class, which was something I learned years later when taking a media law class in college to learn about copyright law specifically, so I guess I learned what to not do as a teacher if I manage to become one, but I didn't learn a whole lot of actual art skills or even really improve my art in any significant way. I never actually learned anything like the elements of art and how to use them, or color theory, or any of that, in class or even on my own, but because I was constantly looking at lots of art online, and making art on my own and experimenting with new things, I ended up learning all of the "essentials of art" intuitively, sort of like how children learn the grammar of whichever language(s) they grow up speaking without learning the actual formal grammar of the language. Which I think a lot of artists actually do as they continue to make art, even if they don't realize it.
Anyhow, moving on. I personally really enjoyed my undergrad illustration degree. Now, to be fair, if someone was willing to pay me to attend college for the rest of my life as my actual career, that is what I would do bc I love learning, and I love the challenge presented by college courses. But do I feel like I learned anything new about art in those classes? Yes and no. I took a lot of art history classes bc I had never had any art history before college, and found I loved the topic a lot. The life drawing classes I was required to take felt like a waste of time bc I already had that skill from the one high school class, and I spent most of those classes fighting the teachers about why we should have less nude models (bc nudes are super easy to draw from life, but clothing is very, very difficult, and I wanted to learn how to draw clothing as a challenge bc I was bored in those classes). I spent one class teaching the entire class how to use Photoshop bc the teacher's method was absolute BS and I could do everything faster and easier than what we were being taught bc I had been using the program for years (the teacher even joked about how I had hijacked the class, to which I'm still not sure was meant to be friendly or malicious). The "Anatomy for the Artist" class I took was one of the most useful classes I've ever taken, and really helped me with drawing not only humans, but anything with a skeleton and muscles, since the teacher's approach made it so I learned the skill of using actual real-life anatomy as a means of creating art from the knowledge of anatomy (and I lucked out for this class bc I had an adjunct who was there to cover the actual teacher who was on sabbatical, and from what I heard from classmates I would have learned nothing from the usual teacher's approach to the class; I hope the teacher I did have found a good stable job bc she was amazing). Most of the actual core illustration classes helped me improve my art a great deal, but not bc they taught me anything--more so, it was that I had to create a lot of art for them, and find creative solutions to the challenges the projects would present (there were lots of "illustrate this abstract concept without using x, y, or z imagery" or "create an illustration within these specific parameters" which really required me to think about how to plan and go about completing the final project). Somehow, the actual "foundations classes" that I took--where I was supposed to learn things like design theory, the elements and principles of art, color theory, etc.--well, let's just say the teacher was on his way to retirement, and didn't teach any of that really well, so I still ended up going through my undergrad more or less on intuition and the art skills I had cultivated on my own. Mostly, college art classes were useful in helping me to improve my art, not because I learned new things (although I did learn some new things), but rather because I needed to make lots and lots of art in a relatively short time, and making art constantly is the fastest way to improve.
That all said, I still never really got the point of things that I kept seeing or hearing as common art advice. For example: "Use references." Okay? What does that mean? What does that look like? How do I do that? I was never taught that once, and it was only partway through college that I figured out that people meant "look at a photo of a real person to figure out a pose or something" and not "learn about the subject you're trying to draw so you have an understanding of that subject that allows you to draw it from your imagination how you want". And honestly the former advice is useful but...only useful to a point, so I'm kinda glad I never learned it bc it would have stunted my development and presented a roadblock. In either case, I was never taught how to use a ref or what "use a ref" meant in my formal art education, and by the time I figured it out on my own, my repertoire of art skills made the advice moot.
So what's all the long and short of this? Is art education a sham and useless? Well, not entirely, but maybe sort of. It really comes down to which teachers are teaching the subject, and how they do it. I only had a handful of art teachers who were really able to get me to think about art differently and push me to learn more and improve. But I also had a friend in my undergrad class who had never drawn in his life and he found most of the classes super useful bc he wasn't coming in being self-taught and already drawing. We were at different places in our art journeys, and so we got different things out of the college classes.
I do feel overall that the focus of my college classes was more productive than the lack of focus from my high school classes. Would I tell everyone who wants to get better at art to go to art school? Hell no. I got a degree in art because I love it, and because I had hoped to work as a video game concept artist (for which one does need at least a BFA to get hired by most companies). Of course, by the end of my degree I had figured out the video game industry in America was absolutely not a place I wanted to be working for my own health, but my frustrations with how my art education had been structured, paired with the fact that I spent a few classes actually teaching my classmates things, made me think I might make an okay art teacher. But even my wanting to be an art teacher still comes from a place of deep love for art. For those who just want to take up art as a hobby, self-taught is fine, and sometimes it will be better than getting stuck with a bad teacher who'll crush the enjoyment of art. Yes, I think a well-structured art course could help someone learn art and become confident in their art, which is part of the reason I want to try teaching it (esp. bc it took me years to learn some things that a good teacher would have just like, covered in a core class), but like...self-taught or school-taught, there isn't a superior way to learn art. They're both just very different approaches.
#I think I got a bit off-topic from your question at the end there so uh...sorry if this doesn't really help answer your question#I maybe should have slept on this before answering but also I'm like#really really passionate about art and Will Not Shut Up About Literally Anything Art-Related#a few of my coworkers have been subjected to hour-long rants about art bc they asked me one (1) thing#anyhow I think art education CAN be good it's just...like any education it really relies on good teachers and a good curriculum#and yet being self-taught I know it's entirely possible to learn all the basics needed for making art on your own so#like#yeah#I dunno#anyhow#I love art a whole lot and I do not regret going to college and getting two different types of art degrees#no matter how useless certain members of my family think they are#(to be fair graduating in the middle of a pandemic was not in my future plans)#anyhow if you want to just mess around making art and having fun that is honestly one of the best ways to learn art#actually just messing around and having fun is the best way to learn most things#so...yeah!#unsuspecting-person#I still don't have an ask tag
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I started to work on Rainy Days from the start. I don't know yet when I'll post the first chapter but just know that I didn't give up on it. I'll upload it eventually ☺️
#ao3 fanfic#RDBH Fic#ao3 writer#wolfstar#sirius black#marauders era#Remus Lupin#Honestly this fic is a bit of a mess and you won't understand everything I'm sorry#I promise it'll make sense eventually#just trust the process
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head in my hands helpppp my brother didn't even talk to our parents before hauling a bunch of his stuff over here 😭😭😭 texting w my mother now and I think she's pissed and I'm so scared she's going to get mad at ME even though I've been hassling my brother to text the parents since he first phoned me oh my goddd I've been nauseous from anxiety all day 😭😭😭
#she isnt making any sense in her texts fjfkdl i do not understand what she's trying to say to me#i rly dont want to cry today i rly do not want this fbfjdkl#i look forward to this month bc parents leave for a couple weeks and i get to have time to like. let my guard down.#and it usually takes a few days for the hypervigilance part of me to realize the parents are gone#and that we're like. safe. for a bit. but now brother being here is messing that all up fbfjdl#sorry i try so hard to not talk abt abuse and trauma shit here bc its like... i feel like its off-putting to ppl fjdkdl#but christ this is my one time of the year when i get to feel some semblance of safe and comfortable#where i can just. exist. and not have intense fear running in the bg constantly#like i wake up in the morning and im immediately on guard#and i dont even notice that happens until a week after parents leave#and suddenly i Don't have that happening anymore. i can just. wake up. and feel okay djfkdl#like this life situation is. so bad. it is genuinely nearly unbearable fjfkdl honestly it Does get unbearable sometimes#so this is just. fucking me up so bad. anyways!!! oh well !!!! it is what it is (but i do not like the way it is fjfkdl)#i just need to keep my head down and not think about it fjfkdl i will simply focus on art stuff and Not Think sbfjfkl#as long as mother does not get angry w me then i can deal w it. well. even if she does get angry I'll have to deal w it fjdkdl#it is what it is 😭😭#vent //#abuse cw#dandy.cmd
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hey keeley just here to say I enjoy your posts, the little life updates, tea parties, aesthetic journaling I love it :)
here's a birb for u (he's helping! (throwing everything back out that I just put in))
fran this means so much to me, honestly. sometimes it truly feels like i'm yelling into the void on here and it's just nice to be seen 🩷 and what a handsome birb he is!!
#sorry i'm having a bit of a day i didn't get a lot of sleep also barbie messed me up a little bit honestly#antogiolemanswinner#💌
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genuinely very very happy about maya still Do Not get me wrong. I simply wish... the world was better and less cruel. and that I was not complicit in that cruelty. and that honorspren in shadesmar werent such hypocrites.
#outgoing transmission#adolin post#the desire to have everything be good forever and be told by some almighty being that#actually you didnt mske anything mistakes and did the best you can and were good vs like#how... not hollow. but. that is also not true i messed up so very much and do have to wonder if my existence was Not worth it#disregarding the fact that... well. it is a story someone wrote and yes obviously I needed to be there.#but. as a person? mmh. craving not necessarily reassurance but Being Sure i didn't make awful decisions to make things worse. and i simply#cannot know that. not at the moment and potentially not with any certainty ever#which is no different from anyone elses life really. but there is a certain agony to it#i dont know. i love kal. i dont have many memories yet of. well. but#id like to think he loves me. coming face to face with that however is... well why would he?#he is. well i feel anything i say wouldnt really encapsulate it to be honest i could worship that man and i mean that so sincerely#he... would not like it. but it isnt...... well hes a better man than me but not because i think hes flawless or anything#just. he tries so very hard. i didnt even have it in me to not murder someone despite how risky it was#for the best. and i wish id done it sooner still. but i do also think it says a good deal about my character in general#sorry again about this i hope everyone is well.#it is too bright out now honestly which is kind of funny. half comforting. half annoying. a small part... some other thing. weird i suppose#brain is. mm. partially shadesmar. partially... something else. stormy. near kal. tense but not necessarily in a danger way.#but something... stuck a bit maybe. not sure if it is a natural thing or more a. spren parent trap situation. for lack of any better terms.#cute and mildly obnoxious... hm. something to consider.
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