#this is heightened by the Mood I am currently in

[itspileofgoodthings]

two sort of related teaching thoughts I’ve been having as we barrel towards the end of the school year:

1) an aspect of the job I feel I’m just growing into—well, not an aspect, really. More of a central tenet—is being able to see and remember that I teach KIDS. And that is so important to remember in all cases but especially with my high schoolers. They are so young and more than that so much has not happened to them yet. There is so much they don’t know. And the more I see it the more I can be compassionate and yet also removed? Distanced? Not under the illusion that I’m addressing people of equal maturity or experience to me—or even close—and so being at all times mindful of the incompleteness of pretty much everything about them and thus being gentle with them. And also at the same time remembering and rejoicing in their humanity and all their glorious funny raw potential. It’s amazingly hard to do, harder than I thought. But I do think I CAN do it. And it gets a little easier with age.

2) It is shocking how many teachers don’t see kids that way and are uninterested in trying. It’s almost an epidemic the way that teachers swing between appreciating kids as if they were other adults—gassing them up, frankly LYING about their depth or intelligence in ways that shock me on the daily (when people call a kid mature and act like that is a literal statement and don’t contextualize it, I have to laugh, literally none of them ARE mature, they’re all raw; also the smartest of them aren’t deep. They CAN’t be, they’re KIDS)—or on the other hand being disgusted with their immaturity as if, again, they’re dealing with adults. And expressing their scorn and disappointment as if some of that behavior isn’t par for the course. There’s a cruelty in either extreme; there’s a lack of common sense; there’s a rampant sentimentalism. And it makes me almost sick to my stomach sometimes.

[repulsiveliquidation]

Puppy Eyes || Alessia Russo

a/n : it's not perfect but it's something! this was inspired by conversations i've had with @unadulteratedcolorkid!

warnings : smut. slight subspace. fingering. cunnilingus. strap-ons. aftercare.

“Is there something you want, darling?” you ask Alessia, watching as she kneels by your bedside. She’s got her deep red lingerie on, hair neatly tucked behind her ears. She cautiously looks up at you and puts on her best puppy eyes, eager to try and convince you to do her bidding. You had great willpower and she knew all the buttons to press to get you in the palm of her hand. 

Thing is, poor little Less didn’t need to know you played right into her hands to give her exactly what she wanted and to please her till she was a right mess. 

Messy Less was a very satisfied customer and it got her begging for more by the end of it which was exactly what you wanted. Two could play this game and you were winning. 

Less shifted onto her knees a little higher and smiled, leaning her head into your palm that was stroking her cheek.  She nuzzles into your warm hand and uses her most polite voice. 

“Want you to fuck me really good, baby.” 

“Is that so? What makes you so demanding today, my darling?” You tease, walking around her slowly. She keeps her head faced forward as you take in her stature. She whines a little as she fidgets, huffing in frustration. 

“Saw you with Grace today. Didn’t like it.” She grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest. You chuckle and remember your interactions with Grace at England training today while you were waiting for Alessia to finish with her drills. 

Grace had come over to the bench you were sitting at and brought on a chat, admittedly slapping your arm and sitting a little too close at times but you had known her for being a touchy person and didn’t really mind it since she was more of a little sister to you. You also knew that Alessia was simply expressing dislike for her closeness for the scene; she quite liked Grace’s koala-like tendencies as did all of the senior lionesses.

Alessia throws a little side eye as you come around in front of her, ducking her head down a little. Despite being in a bratty mood, she knew that her submission at the same time turned you on immensely. 

“Gracie was being polite darling, you know how she is.”

“Nope,” Alessia says with a pop in the p, looking up at you daringly. “She was too close and I didn’t like it. you’re mine.”

she mumbles the last bit and while you catch it, you find your in. You ask her to repeat herself, wanting to hear her say it louder and to your face. 

“What was that, princess?” 

Her eyebrows furrow and a little pout, which you thought was the cutest thing ever, formed on her lips. She looked you dead in the eye and repeated herself, emphasizing on every word. 

“You. Are. Mine,” she says and you lean into her close to her face. The eye contact brings both your heart rates up, and your breath quickens as does hers. 

“Damn right I am sweetheart, I am all yours. Every fucking bit of me. How about I show you what that means for you?”

You tower over her again and you see her eyes glimmer under the moonlight that trickles into the room. She licks her lips and her pupils widen, eyes seemingly unfocused. 

She comes back to you with a soft kiss on her lips, eyes back to being centered on you. 

“Can you get on the bed for me, pretty girl?” 

She scrambles to get on the soft mattress, immediately laying on her back and getting comfortable. The sight of you on top only makes her wetter, feeling that familiar gush between her gorgeously long legs. 

She closes her eyes and does her best to shift her focus onto you from the throbbing between her legs that currently occupied her attention. Your fingers drag themselves down her milky soft skin, tickling her just a little that her hair stands. The goosebumps heightens her senses, eyes rolling into her head as the task of focus becomes all too much. 

“Fuck, y-yellow…” 

Your touches stop right when she ends her sentence, eyes filling with concern. 

“What’s wrong darling?” 

“Can’t focus, wanna jus… let you think for me, please?” 

Her words slur into one another and you realize what’s happening. You lean in and kiss her softly, cupping her cheek.

”I’ve got you sweet pea, I’ll take care of you.” 

Your hands caress her sides and you take over, pinning her arms over her head as your lips kiss and mark her huffing chest. Little red marks litter her clear skin, complimenting the red of her lingerie. 

“Knees open for me darling, wanna see that pretty pink pussy of yours hm?” 

Alessia’s knees knock together as you gently pry them open for her. She giggles and takes a deep breath, hands holding yours above her head. Your other hand slips into her pussy with practiced ease and you’re sure she’s wetter than she’s ever been before. You drag your fingers along her walls and feel the throb of her arousal wrinkle your fingertips. 

Her hips buck and she whines softly, pleasure rushing through her body. Alessia’s eyes fill with tears and you look deep into them as your long fingers find her sweet spot. You pay extra attention to it and watch her expressions change into pure ecstasy. 

“Puh-please! Close!” she begs, writhing as the sheets ruffle under her. Your fingers begin to cramp but you don’t let up, speeding your arm up before you pull away roughly. 

“No!”

“Didn’t think I’d let you come so easy did you, sweet thing?” You tease, lips pressed against her ear as your arms had roughly turned her onto her stomach. Her ass pushes itself almost sentiently up and out, the sight of her glistening folds only makes your mouth water. 

Knelt behind her with eager hands, you spread her open and eat her out enthusiastically, catching her off-guard. With her head fuzzy and her thighs trembling, she could barely put two words together. Thing is, she had no idea how to tell you that she was ready to give up football to stay this way forever. Maybe she could get it piped on a cake. 

Your tongue slips into her pussy and you slurp her abundant arousal eagerly. Her taste floods your senses and you moan into her. Alessia reaches back and grabs a handful of your hair as she gently grinds back into you, moaning your name into her mattress. Your fingers are shaking and your knuckles white from how wide you held her open. Your tongue flicks out and over her clit, feeling her legs shake even more. 

You decide not to be too harsh on her and push two fingers into her dripping pussy. Less whines and pushes herself back onto your fingers, whimpering your name the closer she gets. 

She sees white the moment her orgasm hits her and she’s never felt pleasure this strong before. She writhes and pants, your fingers helping her ride her high out for as long as it was pleasurable. 

Alessia can’t remember when you put her favorite dildo into the harness but soon it filled her pussy and her mind was pulled back to reality. Her mouth was unable to verbalize her desires but her pussy knew the words at the back of its hand. 

The wet squelch and the tight grip it had on your strap on turned you on so much you were sure if you kept up with fucking her the way you were, you could come with her too. 

“You feel…so-so good…!” Alessia compliments, holding her toned leg up as you fucked her on her side. You straddled her other leg and pounded into her cunt rough and hard. 

“You’re so fuckin’ tight angel, love watching how well you take my cock,” you growl, leaning over her and thrusting deeper. Her eyes roll into her head and you feel her tighten more around the toy, the resistance spurring you on. 

You get off her leg and press both of them wide open, slipping back inside so seamlessly, you’re back inside Alessia before she can begin to complain. You’re able to be deeper inside her this way and she enjoyed feeling full. You pressed her clean in half and she was practically drooling, shuddering hard when your thumb flicked over her clit. 

She came with a loud scream of your name, you were sure half of England heard you. She passes out just as you pull out, feeling exhausted from being in light subspace and the strength of her orgasms. 

You’ve changed the sheets and cleaned her up when she stirs. She grins cheekily when she notices that you’ve dressed her in your sweats and hoodie. She takes in the scent of your soap and perfume, feeling her heart fill with love and her mind turn to mush again. 

You walk into the room with steaming cups of tea, the scent of earl gray blends perfectly with the scent of you, she’s sure she’s falling in love all over again. 

“I love you,” she tells you as you sit beside her in bed, feeding her a piece of your double chocolate chunk cookie. 

“I love you too, doll.” 

You forget to bring the milk and sugar to the room and hop out of bed to get them when Alessia pipes up and leaves you feeling more fond of her than you were when the day started. 

“Two more of those cookies when you get back please?” 

“Just two?” 

“You know me so well. Bring the whole pack, why don’t ya.” 

[mscherub]

Right, so…you’re transported to a new world, and me being the science geek I am, I can’t help but think of all the bacteria you wouldn’t be accustomed to in Twisted Wonderland…so imagine how bad flu season would be, or just the spreading of sicknesses around the school in general

You better have a good immune system cause oml would it be put into overdrive. Anyways…here’s my twist on what the Pomefiore boys would do in order to be helpful in your recovery ❤️‍🩹

Heartslabyul, Savannaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia

Warnings!:

Sickness, obviously

Mentions of vomiting, snot, etc

To start us off…

It’s flu season in Twisted Wonderland, well you call it the flu, they call it something else you don’t even bother to learn. With you’re immune so shot and not used to the illnesses that spread around, getting sick more often that you honestly should, you woke up with a headache. Ok…nothing too serious, but you thought it to be a good idea to just take some ibuprofen equivalent in their world and “thug it out,” which ultimately lead to your current situation. Currently, you’re in the infirmary, having passed out from a raging fever and a disgustingly congested respiratory system during PE and you’re bed ridden back at ramshackle, at least until your fever goes down. Sevens bless Grim and the ghosts as they try and get you things to feel better, but you need some sort of intervention, and here comes you’re favorite person at the right time. How do they help you out?

Vil🪞:

Well…you should know right from the start he doesn’t want to get sick, ”he can’t afford to,” he’ll say, so don't expect him to linger too close to you

But hey, he’s there to help out at least, right? He’s got expertise at concocting up poisons so maybe he can use that knowledge and remedy up something to help you get better a little more quickly

Also, of course he’s gonna have you on a light skincare routine. “Honestly, your skin looks dull, and your eyebags are not doing much to heighten your appearance…poor spudling, take this-” Thanks for that, I guess, Vil

I feel like since he does make his own skincare items, he’d know the right herbal ingredients and their benefits and he’d make some sort of vapor rub equivalent in twisted wonderland to ease your coughs and any congestion you might have

He’ll have you nutritional meals made because your body is already fighting a lot as is and it’ll need something to keep it going. If you don’t feel like eating, he might force you, be cautious y’all—

He’ll tend to you without complaint, maybe a light tongue click here and there or small huffs and at the actions you do, but he’s getting an escape from the outside world by being with you, even if he’s at risk of getting sick himself. He’s also happy to just be alone with you even if he doesn’t show it

Enjoy the time with him, seriously, how often are people cared for by the Vil Schoenheit? Exactly…

Rook🏹:

He’s known for his endless love sonnets on the beautiful things that catch his eye, so yea, you’ll be hearing that a lot while he helps you out, because he just can’t hold back the compliments while you look eye-catching even with being in such a sickly state!

“That sneeze was just magnifique!” Especially if your not in the mood for compliments, he’ll throw them out even more at you, he likes to see what makes people tick, in good or bad ways, it’s all interesting to him

Medicines are tracked and marked, and he’ll probably do a little cleaning up as well as aiding you in your assignments you have to make up, not fully, just a few notes and pointers.

Again, he’s learned from Vil, so nutritional meals all the way. Eat up or he’ll go on rants about how you need to provide fuel for your gorgeous body and mind. Kinda sweet

He’ll sit with you and yap your ear off as well, or, he’ll make use of the time to read you poetry he’s written to hopefully soothe you to sleep. If it works then good, if not, “I’ve got other methods to aid you in sleeping :)”…bro what—

Rook will be happy you even let him tend to you for a little, he’ll make sure no one disturbs your sleep, and no, he’s totally not gonna watch you while you sleep, that’s outrageous, pshhhh-

Epel 🍎:

He’ll complain even though he offered to help you, saying stuff like maybe if you just didn’t get sick he wouldn’t have to do this blah blah blah. Just tell him he’s being a big help, and that it’s a “manly” thing to do. He’ll probably shut up after that

He’ll sit with you, he’s not afraid to get sick, he comes from country life, he probably been through far worse then just some ”little cold” so he’ll sit by you and tend to you

Pillows or blankets, you’ve got it!

He probably won’t clean up, but he’ll try and help you with your assignments whether that be writing down his notes in your notebook or helping you out with assignments any teacher assigned

He’ll cook you food, anything you want, probably not without a little complaint here and there but he’ll still do it anyways, just for you. Don’t say that’s cute or sweet of him to do because then he won’t do it

Giving you your medicine at the right time is easy, he’s got that under his belt no problem

To pass time he’ll carve an apple or two, which are very detailed carvings. He’s very skilled at that so give him a little praise and he’ll he happy

Afterwards he can boast to others how helpful he was, earning some brownie points in the first year friend group. He’s happy he could be relied on 👍

That’s it lovelies!! All that’s left is Ignyhide and Diasomnia <3

Master list

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)

[animeyanderelover]

Can I ask  NSFW headcanon for Muzan? Thank You 😊

What would the reaction be like if Yoriichi, Muzan, Carla and Reiji with a s/o who had an extremely complicated pregnancy, they almost lost their s/o and the baby, pls pls 🤧

I am no doctor so I would appreciate any corrections of errors I might have made. This might also be somewhat more extreme but I went with what I found on the internet.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, toxic relationship, abduction, manipulation, gaslighting, clinginess, controlling behavior, pregnancy, forced pregnancy, labor, high-risk pregnancy, premature labor, birth, cannibalism, illness, cardiac arrest, C-section

Tags: @leveyani @kanaosprotector

Extremely complicated pregnancy

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️A life with Reiji is thoroughly scheduled as he always needs to have control over every little thing in your life. The already tight leash you had on you only becomes tighter the moment you manage to get pregnant with his child. He oversees everything strictly in your life from that day on from the food you consume to the drinks you choose. He’s very adamant that you stay healthy and deliver him a healthy child. A child that he has been planning to have with you for a longer time now. He has read every available source, he has created a diet schedule for you and he feels validated in his speculation and research when you actually find yourself craving occasionally blood which he immediately provides you with since you carry a vampire baby. You normally refuse the consumption of blood from humans because you’re still human yourself which leads always to him forcing it past your lips and down your throat. Consider the health of your baby before being such an unreasonable and neglectful mother-to-be. His own mother always ignored him so Reiji is extremely dedicated to ensure that you are a good mother to his own child.

☕️The first few months of the pregnancy go rather well. Besides the common morning sickness, some headaches and mood swings the baby develops healthily inside your womb. Reiji monitors everything extremely closely and you have him checking on your condition and the condition of the little one almost daily. Whenever you lash out on him due to his restricting schedules, he always quickly puts you back in your place by sharply scolding you for your immature behavior. He's designing the nursery room for the baby, accompanies you whenever he deems that it's time for you to take a walk outside and get some fresh air. The baby starts visibly moving around and kicking your insides when you are 19 weeks along and from that day on Reiji even starts observing the movements of the baby because any lack of it or very frequent movements can also indicate whether the baby is feeling fine or not. He has even already chosen a handful of names although he decides to wait until the baby is born and he can see them for the first time.

☕​It's within your fifth month that you start experiencing complications. There is an increase in your headache, you suffer from shortness of breath, your vision is blurry or you see dark spots dancing in front of your eyes and you also experience abdominal pain. You would like to think that this is normal but you can't deny that some of those symptoms scare you and the way Reiji's eyes narrow when you are forced to tell him about it only adds to your growing anxiety. When he runs some tests on you and realizes that your blood pressure is elevated, he starts getting worried. This shouldn't happen. He has always hated it when something didn't go according to his plan but your current pregnancy only heightens the stress he is feeling because right now he can't afford that anything goes wrong. The slight panic he initially feels manifests itself into accusations against you as he questions if you have done something that has caused your high blood pressure. His preparations should have been perfect. It is not his fault.

☕​Soon he is too busy closely monitoring your increasingly worsening condition to put the blame on you though as your symptoms have worsened. Your vision randomly blurs or darkens, your headache has led to increased nausea and has made it difficult for you to stomach food, your hands and face have swollen and Reiji has even started suspecting that the blood supply to your placenta doesn't work as it should. The baby doesn't grow and develop as it should due to the lack of blood supply and with each passing week he starts worrying more and more about it. He tries everything he can think of to cease your dizziness and your nausea, the abdominal pain and the lacking blood supply to your placenta but nothing seems to really work. There is no medicine or cure to your symptoms and when Reiji realizes that he can't do anything, the only choice he is left with is trying to prolong the pregnancy long enough to guarantee the survival of his darling and his baby. He starts mentally preparing himself to perform a C-section on you if worst should come to worst.

☕​The worst case scenario happens in your 30th week when premature labor starts together with intense abdominal pain. You are weakened from weeks of dizziness, nausea and stress and the sheer exhaustion from labor proves too much for you as you faint after a few hours. This leaves Reiji with pretty much no choice but a Caesarean section, especially since the fetus is in breech position. Normally he would be pretty confident in his skills but there is too much on the line for him and this stops him from staying as level-headed as he would like. The little girl he pulls out from your womb during the surgery is worringly small even if she is a prematurely born baby. The most difficult step should have been overcome but instead dread fills him when he notices that she isn't breathing. Suddenly he feels like he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders as he spends minutes trying to keep the baby alive until his daughter finally manages to breathe independently and starts weakly crying and even then he can't allow himself to relax. Neither you nor the baby are out of health risks after all.

☕​You are quite weakened after the difficult pregnancy and the surgery and it takes you a few weeks until you feel somewhat healthy enough again to walk longer distances without any help and do certain tasks without experiencing any pain. Just because you can theoretically do it though doesn't mean by a long shot that Reiji will let you. He has become overly cautious after the birth. He's extremely skittish whenever he monitors the health of the baby due to her breathing issues upon birth and worried for any lasting damage she might have suffered due to her restricted development in your womb. You find yourself spending the first few weeks after the surgery mostly spending time with your daughter whilst Reiji is doing everything else. He monitors the health of his darling and their daughter, he cooks for his s/o and he assists whenever and however he can. He feels stressed out even after the condition of you and the baby stabilize because in his mind he can't stop agonizing over the fact that he could do little to nothing to help you in any way.

Carla Tsukinami

🔮​If you wind up being Carla's darling and can biologically bear children, prepare yourself for giving him a child. Carla expects his darling to give him a healthy and strong heir and there will be no room for discussion. You will bear him his child and you will be a good and attentive mother to his baby. All of this happens only after Carla has already broken your mind down enough for you to be completely putty in his hold. Pregnancy is the final step, the final claim he can lay on you to mark you for all eternity as his and at that point you will happily accept his wish of wanting a baby with you. You love him after all and you're sure that you'll love a child with the same golden eyes as his just as much. It is extremely pleasing to see your quick embrace of the idea and he wastes very little time after he has told you about his plans to see it through that you are pregnant as soon as possible. It doesn't take long for him until he senses the new life deep within your womb. He couldn't be more pleased in that moment.

🔮​Similar to Reiji, Carla will be very controlling as soon as he has confirmed that you are expecting his heir. You are always kept within his vicinity and you aren't allowed to go anywhere without informing him. He wouldn't want anything to happen to you, especially with his brother around. That rarely happens though as you are pretty obedient and listen to him which means that you allow him to lead you outside and go for a walk. You feel pretty sick quite often and spend a lot of time on the toilet whenever nausea grabs a hold of you. Shin has made fun of you once when he saw you hanging over the toilet which struck the wrong cord in you in that moment and actually led you to shed tears of shame. You only know that Carla wasn't too pleased when you started crying because of Shin and told you that he'd talk with his brother. Ever since Shin has been trying his best to not say anything within your presence although he looks like he has a lot of snarky stuff he could say. You spend a large amount of time only with Carla though, basking in his affection and joy due to your pregnancy.

🔮​As soon as your bump really starts showing is when other symptoms start to appear. Your hunger increases significantly as soon as the baby bump shows and this makes it difficult for you since Carla has put you on a diet to keep you and the baby healthy. You have troubles keeping your temper under control when he initially always denies you your cravings but you try your best to stay quiet. Until the intense craving for blood starts one day and you start feeling sluggish and weak. That is when Carla starts paying more attention to your cravings. You’re only human, you would under normal conditions never want to consume blood. Is it the baby that makes you crave blood? He has obviously speculated how a pregnancy with a vampire baby would go for your mortal body but speculations don’t necessarily have to line up with the reality. He decides to give in to your new cravings this time as he notices how your energy gets drained. The blood seems to replenish your energy for a while.

🔮The bigger the baby swells though, the more it seems to drain your energy. You grow more tired and exhausted with each month that passes by no matter how much blood Carla lets you consume or how much you eat. Very little of the food you digest is actually used for your own energy as the baby seems to take all the nutrients it needs and leaves very little for you. You lose weight and feel dizzy and exhausted whilst the baby is thriving. Soon it starts getting so bad that you can’t even walk properly on your own anymore without the danger of collapsing. Carla has to assist you even when you go to the toilet and despite your weak protest and tears of shame, he doesn’t allow you anything anymore without his help. The baby sucks everything out of you, he can see your clear struggle everyday as your energy drops and your pain increases due to the heavy weight of the baby inside of you and its strong kicks that feel like it’ll burst out of you any moment. The closer you get to your due date, the weaker and thinner you become. This isn’t good.

🔮Miraculously you make it to your due date until your water breaks but it comes with a heavy price. You’re exhausted, you’re tired and you barely have any energy left to even push properly. All of this is made even worse by the fact that the baby has grown a lot whilst it was protected inside of you. They are big which makes the entire process even more arduous as your body tries its hardest to squeeze the infant out of your body and down your birth channel. When the shoulders of the baby get stuck though and prevent you from giving birth to the baby, everything takes quickly a turn for the worse. Nothing seems to help. That’s when Carla takes action, fully aware that being stuck could end up harming the baby. You can vaguely recall the burning feeling when he abruptly reaches his hand out into your vagina in an attempt to turn the baby around. It’s a painful and uncomfortable feeling that is the final push you need before you finally succumb to unconsciousness which leaves Carla alone to guide the baby out of your body.

🔮You suffer from a fourth-degree tear and malnutrition for weeks after birth which leaves you completely bedridden under Carla’s guidance. His son on the other hand suffered from fractures to his upper arm bone. All of this is rather upsetting and frustrating to Carla who didn’t expect a shoulder dystocia to occur during the birth of his own heir. He spends nearly all of his time in his chambers where he nurses you and the baby back to health. Shin rarely runs into his older brother for that reason. Every time he does spot Carla, he’s always tempted to ask him mockingly how you and his nephew are doing, considering that you went through all of this hell only because of Carla’s wish for an heir. The piercing glare Carla gives him whenever he opens his mouth to ask that question keeps him from doing so though. The younger Tsukinami brother isn’t allowed to visit you and the little boy either, especially not when neither of you has fully recovered. Until that day comes, no one will see you two.

Kibutsuji Muzan

🩸​There have never been any records of demons and humans procreating. If there would have been, Muzan as the King of Demons would have known about it. Technically speaking he has no real need nor any interest in any children of his own. He doesn't need any heir for he is immortal and doesn't plan to ever give up his position to anyone else for he plans to become the perfect existence. Perhaps there is a spark of curiosity though as soon as he has you in his life as it is a thought that often crosses his mind when he dumps his cum inside of you. He has a fondness for science after all but none of it has ever led him to actively try for a baby with you. Then one day he senses the little heartbeat inside of you, senses the new life that has been spawned in your womb. Whilst he isn't actively thrilled about the pregnancy and might even consider an abortion, ultimately it is his scientific interest that manages to stop him from removing the thing from you. A part of him hopes that this child will be able to develop an immunity against the sun due to being only a half demon.

🩸​Since Muzan has always gotten his way with you, you are left with little to no choice but accept his decision to keep the child for now. Your feelings about the little baby currently developing inside of you are confusing as you despise him for forcing you to keep it. Yet you bow down in fear whenever you are faced with his displeasure when he sees you expressing those feelings and thoughts in front of him. This little life inside of you has been directly created by him and perhaps this plays a large fact in why he won't tolerate you thinking about it in such a way. Because the baby will have more from him than any of the demons he has created throughout his entire life. Muzan views himself in the highest light, as a near god, so something that will have his genetics must be strong too. You don't seem to realize that your unwillingness to embrace the thought of having his child will only make him more determined to keep it since he won't allow you to reject something that has been directly created by him.

🩸​Too prideful to show any lingering questions he has in regards of the unique biology his baby will have due to being created by a demon and a human, Muzan just monitors your pregnancy very closely. Partially because of his fascination to finally know that such a pregnancy will be like and partially because he doesn't know what might happen. It is this selfish mindset that soon leads you down a path of misery. Your body is unable to handle the creature inside your womb that seems to suck out all the energy and proteins meant for you whenever you force something down your throat despite your growing nausea. The growth spurt the baby has is abnormal for the first few months but all of this comes with the cost of your own decline of health. Everything is painful and everything is tiring and the little baby is incredibly strong starting from their first kicks. At this rate it is already far too late for Muzan to do anything. Through your pain and your exhaustion you sometimes bitterly blame him for what he puts you through but you never get any apology from him and you know exactly why. He would never admit it after all.

🩸​Then everything suddenly stops though. The growth of your bump and the kicks and hits of the baby inside. There is suddenly no movement anymore at all and despite your not so positive feelings, you slowly start to worry about it. Your own condition isn't improving too greatly though as your food either gets thrown up by you or still seems to be received by the fetus instead. Muzan has already noticed it too. He can still sense the heartbeat within but to his own growing dread it seems to get weaker by the days. His mind is racing as to why and the steadily weakening condition of you and the baby only seem to be a reminder that the time he has to find a solution is limited. Eventually he starts considering that the baby you bear is technically still a demon too. He starts considering that the baby might have reached a phase within their development where the current food you consume isn't sufficient enough anymore. Maybe they need some human flesh. Even though you refuse when he first brings up his theory, Muzan doesn't care as he shoves it from that day on down your throat and to his satisfaction his idea was right.

🩸​Yet he can't enjoy the fact that his theory was right for too long. Your body, unable to handle the large amount of energy and nutrition the baby steals from it, goes into premature and sudden labor in the seventh month. Neither of you two two are prepared for it and even the baby seems to be unhappy about your body giving up on them as they start making a ruckus inside your womb, only adding to the pain you are already feeling. Muzan is unable to calm the irritated baby down. Everything happens too fast for him to even prepare anything. Your body is in a rush to expel the baby from inside you and their frequent and wild movement only cause them to slide down your birth channel faster. The frequent activity of your baby soon comes to a hold though. Their umbilical cord got flattened and Muzan is met with deafening silence when the bloody infant lays in his arms. It is this silence that makes him suddenly lose his composure as the motionless child reminds him vividly of his own birth. Not his own child too. He spends minutes frantically reanimating the infant before she finally lets out her first weak cries.

🩸If your own condition should have worsened any more, Muzan probably would have turned you into a demon. Somehow your fragile body pulled through though and in a way he’s relieved about that. Because for now it would be more beneficial to let you stay human and care for the little girl you gave birth to. With her black hair and her red and bleary eyes she looks a lot like Muzan and perhaps it’s her visible similarity to him that fills his heart with pride. She recovers quicker than you from her troublesome birth, probably because she is half demon. Her appetite is as insatiable as it was during her time in your womb though and to your slight horror she still has her preferences to the taste of human blood and flesh together with your breastmilk. Muzan gives her what you don’t want to give her as he has realized that she probably needs the different nutrients to develop properly just like she needed whilst being in your belly. Now that the baby is born, he forbids you from expressing any hesitation and confusion when you’re taking care of her. This girl is his own flesh and blood and he won’t tolerate you not loving her who is so much like him.

Tsugikuni Yoriichi

☀️Pregnancy should be a joyful occasion for parents yet despite the expected happiness and joy Yoriichi feels when it becomes known that you are expecting his child, there is also a gnawing fear that haunts him. He can't help but recall the heart-wrenching fate that befell Uta and the unborn baby. Even if he has you now in his life, this is a memory he is unable to forget as he often still blames himself for their deaths through the hand of a demon. The slow growth of your bump triggers those haunting memories and sometimes he dreams of the same scene he saw when he returned home to Uta, only that it is now your body torn apart with the precious child murdered before it even had the chance to live. Yoriichi becomes very protective and paranoid over you as he doesn't think that he could bear a repeat of what has already once happened to him. There is always this underlying fear and paranoia that make him much more aware of his surroundings even as he rejoices when he witnesses the first kicks of his baby. His katana is always kept close, especially when night comes where he finds himself often lying awake.

☀️​As winter is already awaiting, Yoriichi makes an effort to keep you warm and protected and your home as cozy as possible. He never leaves you as soon as the sun goes down as he now knows better. All tasks are usually finished within the day so that he can stay by your side and protect you as soon as it gets dark. Despite his efforts to always keep you warm and healthy though, you seem to catch a cold. It is nothing to be worried over though. You have a light headache, your throat hurts whenever you swallow and you cough. You are not really worried though and even assure Yoriichi that it'll pass by soon. Despite feeling already a bit more fatigued due to your pregnancy and now your illness, you still feel fine. You decide to stay inside nevertheless as he fetches you a doctor to monitor your condition. After all you know of his loss of his first pregnant wife so you try to make him feel better and calmer by letting a doctor tell him that you are fine and that you will be fit in a few days again. When Yoriichi returns with the doctor, you feel slightly febrile.

☀️​What should have been only a mild cold soon turns into a serious condition though. Maybe it is because you are pregnant and are just more prone to bacteria yet such explanations do nothing to help Yoriichi's terrified heart. Despite your weak protests to leave the room so he doesn't catch what you have, he stays faithfully with you as your fever soon feels like it is burning your skin and sweat coats your skin. Every swallow is a small challenge as it brings you uncomfortable pain and you are often thrown into coughing fits, your throat coated with phlegm and constantly itching in a dry way. With your worse condition, Yoriichi has asked the doctor to come by every day. He does whatever he can do to help you. He cooks for you and feeds you even if you should have no hunger or simply feel too tired and he heads the advices of the doctor when giving you the medicine that should help your condition. His chest is tight with fear and worry as he feels anxious whenever he sees your bump and wonders how your sick body may also negatively impact the baby.

☀️​Perhaps it is just his fate to watch helplessly as he loses everyone he loves in his life. First his brother, then Uta and his unborn child and now you and the baby you are carrying. Yoriichi can only watch helplessly how you grow weaker and weaker as the days pass by. Your lips are chappy and dry and your skin coated in ill sweat as your whole body is uncomfortably hot due to your fever. Yet even in this condition you try to soothe Yoriichi in his silent despair and promise him that it'll soon get better even as he has to support your weak body when you want to walk around. Your sick appearance always tears his heart apart, his sorrow growing by the day yet he tries to stay strong for you. But this thin threat snaps when your contractions start at only 30 weeks. His whole body is shaking and silent tears cascade down his face as a the doctor and a midwife he brought with him try their best to help you to deliver the baby. He feels small, insignificant and terrifyingly helpless as he stays by your side and with every scream and cry you let out he thinks he is more desrving of death for not being able to save anyone in his life.

☀️​Even after you have made it through birth and have delivered a little boy does his torment continue. Your health plummets down after labor as your body is left severely weakened after the physical exertion that leaves you in a nearly unconscious state as you are too exhausted and sick to even leave. Your sickness soon spreads out to his newborn son and even if his heart is already tattered and torn enough, Yoriichi only continues to suffer. Wherever he goes, he is only reminded of his cursed fate. He spends his time either catering to your needs, his heart screaming whenever you ask in your weak condition for your son or he silently watches over the baby whose little body is desperately battling against the deadly cold. He is too terrified to fall asleep anymore at night, too afraid to wake up one morning to your cold body or to the motionless body of his baby. Instead he lays awake at night, his heart beating anxiously as he listens to your troubled breaths and the breaths of the little baby. Sometimes it becomes too much for him and he is left muffling his sobs with his hand at night.

☀️​Many days pass before you finally start feeling better. You're still feeling slightly feverish but you are able to move by yourself anymore. Yoriichi, who is feeling an overwhelming urge to hug you, kiss you and show you how grateful he is that you are still alive, has to hold himself back as you aren't fully cured yet and still need recovery. You're finally able to interact with your son and the sight of you holding the child that both of you created is a small remedy for his bruised and broken heart, even if the baby is also still sick. He slowly starts recovering though together with you as he receives all the love and care he could possibly get from you, Yoriichi and the doctor. It still takes weeks until his son as well as you are fully recovered and well again and for the first time in a while he feels like he can see the light again. Despite his own exhaustion and tiredness from all his fear he is especially attentive and loving with you and his little son. He just wants the both of you to know how much it really means to him that both of you are still alive and with him.

[jewelz11]

Period Cramps

a/n: hi!!! this is my first ever little writing so i thought a drabble would be good to get me started. figured this would be a good topic since i am currently suffering in bed. anyway! i hope you enjoy this and please give me any suggestions to write about or any critics on this! love you!

no warnings! all fluff

logan x reader (i imagined x1/x2 logan but you can imagine any) ⇩

Your periods are your worst nightmare. Every month for one week you experience the worst pain anything can ever bring you; even with your mutation, the pain is rough. When you started dating Logan, he never knew the right way to comfort you. This man would get you chocolate, your favorite food, run a bath, and try a cuddle with you; yet the pain would still be there, and he felt hopeless. Logan has heightened senses, so he knows your entire cycle, from your mood swings in your follicular phase to the nonstop horniness in your ovulation stage to the dreading menstruation phase. 

He loves you with all his heart, but sometimes it can get a little overwhelming for him because he hates to see you in pain, especially the type of pain he doesn’t know how to cure. 

“Princess?” Logan says quietly, walking into your dark shared room. You hum in response as you are curled up in your bed. “Can I get you anything?” He walks over to the side of the bed and rubs your back.

“No,” you briefly state. He sighs softly and moves to get up from the bed. “Stay,” you say, lower than a whisper. A slow smile creeps up on his face before looking at you, your back still facing him.

He kicks off his shoes then joins you in bed, wrapping you in his arms and holding you all night, wishing he could give you his strong healing powers so you can be back on your feet.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he whispers into your neck, thinking you were asleep.

[creepsterdreams]

"Lullaby" Kuras x pregnant!gn!MC mini series

Link to part 2!

Part 3

Summary: After coming to Eridia to hopefully find a way to rid of your curse and hide your pregnancy, you meet a very sassy doctor who’s set on protecting you and your unborn child

Content warnings:  Leander being protective, mentions of vomiting, MC having weird ass cravings, a smidge of violence , MC being kinda horny for Kuras

Word count: 2.2k

MC is almost two months into pregnancy here, so the baby bump is now impossible to hide 

Author’s note: Here MC already met Ais, Vere, and Mhin, I apologize but I didn’t feel like writing separate introductions T^T also this chapter is kinda uneventful 

After getting settled at the Wet Wick and wondering about Eridia for some time, you were able to meet some other colorful faces, courtesy of Leander having everyone sit at the bar and drink what you can only guess is one of his concoctions. 

You had Vere who was honestly terrifying to interact with, everytime you looked at him it was hard to tell if his stare was of curiosity or hunger. 

Then there was Ais who’s Vere’s friend with benefits, he was nice to say, but with his kindness also came his sass and snark, which was not good on your rising mood swings. 

And finally there was Mhin, a close “friend” of Kuras who often took jobs from Leander hunting Soulless. Out of everyone they seemed like the one who didn’t want to be there the most, but a part of you was assuming they were only tolerant to you because Kuras is. 

But although they did all seem somewhat okay, your biggest concern was would they be safe with your secret. Upon meeting them, it took almost begging to convince Leander not to say anything, not wanting to draw too much attention to yourself. But then again, you had a feeling in the back of your mind that they already knew, whether it was due to the excessive bagginess of your clothes or really good guessing. 

Vere knew almost immediately, allowing you to believe that you somehow escaped his heightened senses only to smirk and utter “Goodnight, both of you.” Upon his exit. 

You truly cannot hide anything from him. 

But other than that entire charade, you were…okay. 

Rarely have you ever experienced genuine peace in your life. Always running around completing heists or planning the next one. This was a foreign feeling to you and it felt odd to say the least. 

Which leads you to your current position, sitting on the table in Kuras’s clinic as he rests his hands on your bare stomach, assumingly checking on your fetus. 

At first you were admittedly a bit awkward to strip your shirt off in front of him, even if he had already seen you naked before, but now that you were actually awake to witness it, the embarrassment of the situation had finally set in. 

After a while, Kuras removed his hands from your stomach, his eyes opening before he walked towards another table and grabbed a clipboard to write some things down. For the majority of the check up his eyes were closed, and his hands projected an odd warmth onto you, and although you didn’t know exactly what he was doing, you assumed this was just a strange method of sensing for the baby. 

But Kuras suddenly speaking up quickly pulled you out of your thoughts. “Everything appears to be fine, I haven’t found anything that’s worth worrying for.” His back is still turned to you as he carries on. “Although I can recommend that you do try and rest more, I know you are aware that putting stress on the body is dangerous for both of you.”

You shrug your shoulders and lean back more as you softly rest a bandaged hand on your middle. “I can’t make any promises, I am trying to get rid of this…thing” Your voice unconsciously trails off at the end, looking down at the floor below you as you listen to his humming, taking in your response. 

“Then you will simply have to find a way to balance the two.” He finishes writing and sets down the clipboard before stepping forward once more, grabbing something before turning back to you and coming towards the table. And once you were able to see his front again, what you realized he was holding came to your surprise. 

“A stuffed bear? What’s that for?” You ask with genuine curiosity. He reacts by softly chuckling and taking your hand, placing the stuffed animal in your grasp before stepping back. 

“Mhin brought it here. Said that at least with it the child could have some joy despite the circumstances.” 

You automatically raised an eyebrow, questions floating throughout your mind, all wondering almost the same thing. Mainly why did Mhin of all people give it to you, from what little information you have on them, it seemed like they hated people all together. Also, where did they get it from? This bear is oddly nice looking considering you’ve always seen Mhin in the alleyways of Lowtown or at the Wet Wick. 

But the biggest question should be, how did they even figure out you were pregnant?

“Are you sure it was Mhin and not some shapeshifter?” You said while glancing between him and the bear, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Kuras chuckles at your words, covering his mouth to hide a light smile. “Well if it was I doubt that a shapeshifter would be kind enough to bring you a stuffed animal.” 

Well he is right about that. 

You take a long look at the bear again, before slowly reaching your hand up and grabbing it, taking a moment to softly rub its fur, smiling at the feeling. You then put the bear in your bag, deciding to keep it with you until you return to the wet wick. After closing it back up, you turn back to Kuras. 

“So, how did Mhin know I’m….you know.” 

Kuras reacts with a slightly raised brow. “They are quite skilled at reading others' body language. They must’ve noticed you constantly trying to hide your stomach.”

You were honestly starting to reconsider your stealth skills if already four people were able to find out your “little” secret without ever telling them. 

After Kuras was done talking, you sighed and leaned back again, mind drifting off to wondering what you can eat once leaving the clinic. Everything honestly sounded really good. Maybe you can convince Leander that pickles and chocolate dip are amazing together so he’ll bring you some. 

“MC?” Kuras’s concerned tone suddenly rang through your ears, bringing you back down to earth. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I was just thinking about some stuff.” You say awkwardly as you gather your things. “I’m gonna head back now, I’m sure you have thousands of other patients to take care of.” 

Kuras sends you a gentle smile, reaching to place his hand on your shoulder. “You're always welcome here, you're my most interesting patient for a reason.”  

This makes you smile as well, taking in the attention he’s giving you. And for a moment, you can feel yourself wanting more of it, and you wouldn’t mind receiving a different kind of attention if he was the one giving it. 

But before your mind can drift off, you quickly shake your head, deciding to focus your mind on leaving instead, making your way to the busy road and blending in with the never-ending crowd.

Gods, I just met the man I can’t already be thinking about him that way!

You clutch the ends of your shirt tightly, guilt beginning to set in wondering what Kuras would think of you lusting after him despite only knowing each other for a few weeks. 

Eventually you catch sight of the Wet Wick, watching as patrons walk in and out of the stone building, some obviously drunk out of their minds. Walking closer, you suddenly hear the sound of what seemed to be fighting from the alleyway. 

Upon reaching it, you're met with what appeared to be Ais fighting some tough looking guys that were at the bar. You watch as Ais lands a punch against once, blood spilling from his knows as he passes out automatically. But just as Ais whips around to handle the other three, they all scramble away, obviously underestimating his brute strength. This result only made him groan and roll back his neck, irritated that they weren’t willing to put up a fight. 

But your staring must’ve caught his attention, because by the time you're no longer zoned out, he’s right in front of you, grinning at your dazed expression. 

“See something you like sparrow?” 

You stumble a bit for a moment, jumping at the rasp in his voice that’s probably from fighting. “What are you doing out here? Did you start something there again?”

His grin widens even more, giving you the answer right away. “So what if I did?” 

You only roll your eyes in response, not wanting to give into his antics today. But before you could walk away, he suddenly leaned down towards your stomach, becoming eye level with it. “How’s that bun in the oven?”

Your eyes go big, quickly covering your stomach and turning away from him. “How did…how did you find out?!”

Ais puts his hands up, backing away from you, showing that he is innocent in the situation. “I mean…did you seriously expect to hide that from me for too long? You think too little of me sparrow.”

Hearing that, you put your guard down, acknowledging that he was right. The farther you got as the trimesters went on, the more obvious the symptoms became. Your growing stomach being the biggest one. You uncover your middle, instead choosing to rest them directly underneath it. 

“They're fine, nothing to worry about. Kuras is just on me about taking it easy.”

This gives Ais the chance to come close again, leaning down once more. He pokes a finger at your stomach, wagging it tauntingly. “You be good for [preferred parent’s name] in there. Can’t have them any more grouchy than they already are.”

This causes you to gasp dramatically, punching Ais softly on the shoulder which makes him snicker at your actions. He stands up back to his full height, crossing his arms as he playfully stares you down, but before you could come up with a bold response, Leander suddenly bust through the door, surprising the both of you. His eyes switch between you and Ais, obviously wondering what you two were doing out here together.

Alone at that.

But then his expression returns back to his normal, welcoming smile. “Heyy MC, I was wondering when you would come back, I got the barkeep to save you some leftovers if you're hungry.”

Your eyes automatically begin to sparkle upon hearing the word “leftovers”. Leftovers means food, leftovers means you don’t have to worry about finding something to eat yourself. 

You quickly thank him and rush past him to get to the bar, racing to thank the barkeep and grab whatever you could possibly get your hands on. Leander laughs at your antics before turning back to Ais, his smile not dropping, but wavering a bit. 

Ais only gives him the middle finger, his grin only turning mischievous, which makes Leander scowl before all but slamming the door on him. 

After returning to the bar, Leander is greeted with you eating some meat and vegetables with haste, with a pint of water on the side to the plate, and a smaller plate with a pastry on the other side, obviously for dessert. The sight alone is enough for Leander to smile again, shaking his head. 

“Cute” He thinks to himself.

He walks over, sitting down on the stool next to you while taking a chance to glance over the crowd scattered across the area. “Sooo…what were you doing with Ais?”

You pause eating, a hot piece of meat resting on the fork you were holding now inches away from your mouth. You put it down before picking up your water and taking some heavy sips and wiping your mouth. “I saw him fighting some guys out back, I thought he was screwed since he was outnumbered but the other ones ran away. Then we ended up just..talking a bit.”

Leander hums in acknowledgement, taking in your words as you go back to scarfing down your food. Once he comes back from his thoughts he then puts a hand on your arm. “Hey hey slow down, I don't want you getting sick later and vomiting all over the floor again.” 

Hearing that, you pause again before resuming eating, this time, going at a slower pace. Leander smiles once more, knowing that you listened to him, but after signaling to the barkeep that he wanted a drink, he returned back to you.

“Listen, be careful around him. I know he doesn’t seem dangerous, but the last thing I want is for you to become one of his…pets, alright? Just don’t go too close to the seaspring.”

You back at him with a conflicted expression, and after swallowing what was left of your food you spoke up. “I can handle myself. I’ll be okay Leander.”

He nods in response, keeping his hand resting on your arm before sliding it up to your shoulder. “I just want to make sure you're okay. That you both are okay in fact. Just trust me, okay?” He finally removes his hand from you after this, turning around fully and leaning back against the bars counters while sipping on his drink. 

You stare at him for a few more seconds, processing what he had said. Ais wouldn’t possibly do anything to hurt you and the baby, right?

And as you ponder on it for some time while starting to take soft bites from your pastry, your mind eventually begins wondering right back to the doctor you had seen only some time ago. 

I wonder what Kuras is up to?

Author’s note: At first when Ais flipped off Leander I wanted to make him mouth “fuck you” in response but that felt a little out of character at the time so I changed it to just him looking disgusted lol.

Also, I’m so sorry this took so long to post, I was having trouble coming up with what I wanted to do for this so I left it alone for a bit, hope you all enjoy!

[galacticgrapezz]

Lily Orchard/CD-Call does not understand Adderall (Or ADHD medication for that matter)

Hi! My name is Violet. I'm a part-time college student majoring in biology. Biology majors here require a college and health class that you MUST pass to get your degree. I am also medically diagnosed with ADHD and medicated (not with Adderall hell no).

Lily/CD has said and does currently take (I hope prescribed) Adderall and is heard taking it on her live streams, but today on BlueSky, she asked a question that should 100% be consulted with your doctor.

This goes to show Lily/CD is not educated or has not bothered to educate herself on what Adderall is and what it does to your body.

This post should be an informative piece on why ANYONE (Not just CD) Should ALWAYS research the medication you are being recommended to. So let's discuss Adderall, controlled substances, and addiction.

What is a Controlled Substance?

A controlled substance is typically a drug or chemical regulated by the government through manufacturing, possession, and ingestion. Some examples of controlled substances are: LSD, Oxycodone, Ketamine, and Amphetamine (Remember this one!). All of these are known abused drugs however are also used for medicinal use thanks to the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act (CDSA).

The reason we have these federal laws is to modernize, classify, consolidate, and prevent the abuse of said drugs or chemicals. When someone is prescribed a controlled substance, you are asked if you or your family has had a history of substance misuse, vital organs that may be affected are closely monitored, and you are required to not stop taking it without consulting with your doctor. The reason this definition has to be explained first is that Adderall is classified as a controlled substance by Canada's CDSA.

Let's Talk About Adderall

Adderall is a controlled substance medication prescribed to treat ADHD and Narcolepsy. Adderall (and Mydayis) is the brand name, for the medication, and the generic name for Adderall is Dextroamphetamine-amphetamine. Therefore, Adderall is an amphetamine. Adderall contains multiple amphetamine salts that are closely related to methamphetamine. When taken, Adderall comes into effect within about an hour of use, it triggers neuroreceptors in the central nervous system, increasing the effect of serotonin and dopamine. This helps with ADHD as it gives the brain a stimulant that may have dopamine dysfunctional release, a lack of dopamine.

When Adderall is abused, the brain which was previously given a constant stream of dopamine and serotonin, will stop producing the two on its own. This will result in the user craving more Adderall, making it highly addictive and making the user unable to feel dopamine and serotonin without a stimulant. Hence why Adderall should only be prescribed to people medically diagnosed with ADHD or Narcolepsy. Adderall abuse has also been seen a lot in Millenials, which is the generation Lily/CD is a part of.

Explaining Amphetamines

Amphetamine is a powerful psychostimulant AKA, a synthetic mood-altering drug. Scientists do not currently have a full understanding of how amphetamines work in the brain, but some aspects like what it does chemically are established. When amphetamine is taken, it binds to transporter proteins for monoamines like: dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, where the transporter proteins give them to neurons. Once inside the neuron, it disrupts the storage of monoamines by suppressing a protein called the VMAT2, which transports monoamines into vesicles. This causes the monoamine transporter proteins to work in reverse, which means an increase in the release of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin monoamines. People with ADHD may need this to release a normal stream of these monoamines, but neurotypicals taking amphetamines will experience a euphoric and heightened effect with the increase of the three monoamines but a consistent taking of amphetamines results in addiction and the withdrawal of the brain not developing monoamines on its own.

Conclusion

Adderall is a controlled substance for a very important reason. Even if you have ADHD you are very able to abuse it. It's also very important to explain Adderall is an instant-release medication, which in short means it should only be taken when needed. Lily/CD is taking it every time she is on stream which most likely means every day and eludes to her abusing amphetamines. Please never ask anyone on social media about your prescribed controlled medication. ALWAYS ASK YOUR DOCTOR. If you read this far thank you for tuning in to my STEM yap session ^_^ have a wonderful day.

[borderlinereminders]

Radical Acceptance is basically about accepting our feelings, without pushing them down, even the negative ones.

It means accepting reality and feelings for what they are, though it doesn't mean you don't want to change them.

Here's an example (This is a "small" situation because I think this is best started with a more manageable circumstance first.):

Step 1 - Think of a situation that you have feelings about. (Note that I don't recommend trying this with traumatic events to start which is why I've used the example below.)

Example: Yesterday I embarrassed myself in front of the cashier at the store when she said "Here's your receipt" and I said "thanks, you too!" This has heightened my anxiety about future situations where I need to talk to a stranger.

Step 2 - What caused the event? Stick to facts and don't make judgements about something you've done.

Example: I was distracted by feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood what she was saying.

Step 3 - Accepting the feelings. What emotions do you feel when you think back on this event? Try and be open about this and note any physical changes you might feel like your heart beat increasing.

Example: I feel embarrassed when I think back on it and it makes my hands a little sweaty.

Step 4 - The plan. This is where you come up with a plan on how to handle the situation and/or its effects. If you are not significantly affected by the situation, the acceptance steps may be enough. The DBT skill "Wise Mind" might be a good skill to use when coming up with a plan

Example: I can use rational thoughts to help me navigate this. Realistically, she probably talks to dozens of people a day. She also unfortunately probably deals with a lot of rude people that are more likely to stay on her mind rather than my little mix up with words. If anything, maybe it was refreshing for her because I was polite and chipper with her and maybe she felt the positive effects of that mood I was trying to convey.

Here are some coping thoughts that may help:

I do not have control of the past, only this current moment.

Ignoring my emotions only allows them to fester and continue to bother me.

This is uncomfortable, but I am going to get through this.

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma In-Depth (Part XIV): Worth the Effort

As discussed in the previous post here, Mulder finally, finally took up Scully's invitation to touch her-- the first conscious touch since his abduction.

Symbiotic reciprocity restored (and a bonus baby kick to boot), it's time for the (former) X-Files team to have a necessary conversation.

Well. A necessary conversation in their own coded terms, of course.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING "WORTH THE EFFORT"

Although Scully pivots them back to business-- “Where have you been?”-- she can’t keep the soft, satisfied sparkle out of her eyes. 

Mulder is snapped back to the present by her question, quickly glancing at his partner before returning to her belly. Eyes glued to the bump, he slowly removes his hand, smile dropping only after the disconnect is complete.

“I’ve actually been out in the field with Agent Doggett,” he confesses, mood clouding over. “He’s, um....” Mulder looks down, gathering his thoughts. “And this, um, female agent, from New Orleans.”  

“Agent Reyes,” Scully perks up, remembering Monica immediately.

“Yeah.” 

“I like her.”

Mulder is amused: Scully never likes just anyone, anymore-- not after various Coltons and Kryceks and Belvins have matured her good opinion. There is also a touch of surprised judgment in his expression, as well: he raises his eyebrows, chuffs incredulously, and adds, with a smirk, “You’re nothing at all alike.” His way, perhaps, of saying that he only appreciates the way Scully pushes him-- not dissimilar to the mild correction he gave Diana Fowley three years ago, when she tried to assert her usefulness over Scully’s (“I’ve done okay without you.”) 

David Duchovny-- rightly, I believe-- tempered the script’s original vision to one more in line with Mulder's penchant for bristling at interference. Instead of a heightened, sunshiny admiration flowing between Agent Reyes and Mulder, there exists an understanding but unrelenting mismatched stubbornness on both sides-- a dynamic not unlike (though not to the same degree as) Mulder and Melissa Scully’s past association (posts here and here). Reyes, as discussed here, means well-- and Mulder knows this. But he also doesn’t want to be prodded, pushed, or shoved into positions that make him uncomfortable, which her dogged insistence (no matter how right or well-intentioned) is currently doing. 

Scully slowly considers, then gives a quiet, negating hum. "Well, then, neither are you or I." She is drawing a parallel from Mulder's to Monica's beliefs, just as she will draw a parallel from Monica's and Melissa's later (Existence); and purposefully so.

This is an interesting little clue to her psyche, and one that slots in with her struggles leading up to This Is Not Happening. As she tells Doggett in Badlaa, "...in an instant I realized that it's what Mulder would have seen or understood. Because that's just how he came at things... without judgment and without prejudice and with an open mind that I am just not capable of." She feels like Mulder and Melissa (and Reyes, by extension) are true believers, and she is one convinced into belief. Scully believes she believes because she has to, not because she yearns to; and that that yearning quality for the unknown draws and shapes her partner, her sister, and her new friend in ways she doesn't fully understand. It's a differing flavor of belief she had to grow into, and one which she half-doubts whenever Mulder makes seemingly impossible leaps or bounds. At times this brings peace, and at times it causes insecurity-- but that's a part of life, and herself, she's grown to accept.

Mulder, meanwhile, feels that he and Scully are the only solid believers: Melissa and Monica will stir up a ruckus and preach at other unbelievers while he and Scully will only fight for and chase after the truth. His partner's, "Well, then, neither are you or I" shakes him up: he'd considered Team Spooky to be a solitary party of two, and feels threatened-- and a touch frightened-- by Scully's choice to broaden her allegiances. This continues through Vienen and Alone until Mulder himself makes peace with Doggett's presence and starts to rely on him as an asset to the files (which will be discussed in future.) What Mulder doesn't know-- and what Scully doesn't communicate until Alone (mostly off-screen, again)-- is that she, too, resisted opening up the basement for new allies; and that his partner's regard for Doggett and Reyes was hard-won.

But he isn't an idiot: in a second, Mulder reads that Scully isn't distancing herself from him-- far from it: her statement was simply a fond reminder not to judge on appearances-- and turns the page on his temporary paranoia.

Scully squints, fighting off sleep: she doesn't want to nod off until he's told her everything.

"This--so this is a case you’re working on?” Her tone is casual and serious-- a leading question asked without mal-intent. 

“Yeah. Actually, one that involves Agent Doggett’s son." Mulder closely studies her face, trying to ascertain what she knows. “The son who died?”

“Yeah, he’s never talked to me about him; but I know something.” Although her eyes are tilted away from his, Scully’s tone remains open-- this topic isn’t a secret, nor a point of pain for her-- and after a considerate silence, she meets his gaze, pressing, “Are you able to help him at all?”  

Looking to the side and down, her partner shakes his head-- apprehension and discomfort masking itself under exaggerated gestures.

“You can’t help a man who can’t help himself.”

It’s a particularly dark, hands-off perspective that only surfaces during Mulder’s bleakest moments-- another sign of the disconnected, downtrodden, and defeated emotions he’s still working through. 

While she may not know or completely understand everything Mulder is going through, Scully is able to intuit what his answer means; and stares intently back at him, trying to formulate the best attack against this melancholia. In the vein of her past reassurances-- ala Herrenvolk's “Nothing is in contradiction to nature, only in what we know of it. And that’s a place to start"-- Scully insists, “He’s worth the effort, Mulder.” 

Mulder’s expression goes through three important phases: his face softens at her words; his gaze sinks into hers, as if drinking in Scully's assurance; and his mouth ever-so-slightly quirks in a tiny, heartened smile as his eyes begin to glow. 

What does this mean-- why is he cheered instead of envious or jealous?

Scully's conviction, here, reminds Mulder of her steadfast, unbreakable loyalty: she won't give up on anyone who is “worth the effort.” And, having been on the receiving end of this lion-like loyalty for nearly eight years, he is reassured, in this moment, that she deems him “worth the effort”, too. Even when his whole world is falling apart, she still remains his touchstone.

CONCLUSION

Mulder and Scully had a very needed (though characteristically cryptic) chat-- one which will help him get his head in the game.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[ae-azile]

Writing Chapter 7 of Emergence. Style is falling into an extremely dissociative and unresponsive state as soon as the chapter starts. Since it is close to 4 am (in the story), Fadel is resorting to ChatGPT for clarity. One small part of the exchange is listed below, along with a poll.

Fadel: What other symptoms should I watch out for?

ChatGPT: When someone stops multiple medications, especially ones used for ADHD, anxiety, depression, and PTSD, withdrawal can manifest in a range of symptoms. Since your boyfriend is currently experiencing hyperactivity, mood swings, and irritability, here are additional common withdrawal symptoms to keep an eye out for:

Physical Symptoms:

Fatigue/Low Energy

He might feel extremely tired or lethargic, even if he’s having trouble sleeping.

Sleep Disturbances

Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or conversely, excessive sleeping.

Vivid, disturbing dreams or nightmares.

Headaches

Intense headaches, migraines, or brain zaps are common when withdrawing from stimulant medications (like Concerta).

Nausea/Vomiting

Some medications can cause digestive upset, leading to nausea, vomiting, or a feeling of stomach discomfort.

Dizziness or Lightheadedness

He may feel off-balance or unsteady, which can come from stopping Clonidine, especially if he has blood pressure fluctuations.

Emotional & Mental Symptoms:

Increased Anxiety or Panic Attacks

Withdrawal can worsen the symptoms of anxiety—leading to racing thoughts, shaking, or difficulty breathing.

He might experience more frequent panic attacks.

Depression and Mood Swings

He could feel intense sadness, hopelessness, or increased irritability.

Extreme mood swings—like sudden bursts of anger or feelings of worthlessness.

Emotional Numbness or Detachment

Withdrawal from antidepressants like Paxil can cause emotional numbness or feelings of being disconnected from reality.

Confusion or Difficulty Concentrating

He may experience a foggy mind—difficulty focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

Heightened Sensitivity

Everything may feel overwhelming—loud noises, bright lights, or strong emotions might be difficult for him to process.

Behavioral Symptoms:

Irritability or Aggression

He could have quick bursts of anger or be easily triggered into frustration.

Obsessive Behaviors

Some people may experience repetitive, compulsive actions, like shuffling cards excessively, which he is already doing.

Hyperactivity or Restlessness

Especially from stopping Concerta, he might become fidgety, jittery, or unable to stay still.

Impulsive Behavior

He may engage in risky behaviors or make decisions without thinking them through, which can happen during withdrawal from ADHD meds.

More Severe Symptoms (Seek Medical Attention If These Appear):

Severe Depression or Suicidal Thoughts

Severe low mood or feelings of worthlessness could escalate to suicidal thoughts or intentions.

Severe Anxiety or Panic Attacks

Uncontrollable panic attacks, chest pain, or severe breathing difficulties should be taken very seriously.

Severe Dizziness or Loss of Coordination

Difficulty walking or maintaining balance could indicate a more severe reaction to stopping Clonidine or other medications.

Hallucinations or Delusions

If he starts seeing things that aren’t there or becoming delusional (like thinking people are after him or in danger), that’s a sign of a serious withdrawal reaction.

Severe Mood Swings (Manic Episodes)

If he swings into extreme highs or becomes overly grandiose, reckless, or overly energetic, he could be having a manic episode, which requires professional attention.

What You Can Do:

Watch for any signs of extreme distress or escalation—this is when you may need to seek medical help.

Encourage hydration, rest, and healthy eating to support his body’s healing process.

Monitor his mood and behavior, and try to redirect him gently if needed.

Keep the environment calm and soothing to minimize triggers.

Stay present and provide reassurance, but don’t push him to open up about everything immediately.

Let me know if you notice any of these symptoms escalating, and I can help guide you through how to best respond.

***

...Anyway, I am probably freaking out ChatGPT by talking to it like I am Fadel, and Fadel is probably even more freaked out despite having more information on hand and the illusion that he is talking to someone, despite it being a water wasting robot.

That being said, here is to hoping Style doesn't experience all of these symptoms. But since you're reading this odd preview post...

[lilislegacy]

Oop-

I hate when tumblr messes shit up, but Hey, it's me again.

Like in my original aks, I want to reiterate that I'm not trying to come for everybody. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. This is just my 2 cents on the whole demigods and menstruation thing

My original ask was kind of convoluted, so I'll just sum it up here.

I like the idea of what demigods being different but I don't like the idea of administration just being completely gone.

I am currently reading jealous of the god, and that is something that Percy directly says is how you get the worst of both worlds.

I love the idea of demigods being more powerful and more protective when they are pregnant or whether their partner is. But imagine not knowing you're a demigod and never getting your period, then thinking "oh I can never get pregnant!" and then get pregnant. That sounds terrifying.

I do like the idea of certain demigods from certain gods having a different sort of thing. Kind of like with Athena, I saw one post about annabeth getting a migraine and shit which is hilarious.

I just feel like having no menstrual cycle. It all seems a little too easy. It's very reminiscent of Alexandria's Genesis if you were around on Tumblr about 10 years ago to remember that. (If not then izzzyzzz has an amazing video on YouTube all about this fake disorder and hoax)

In my original ask I pointed out how It would be an interesting point of view especially for trans demigods.

I am a transperson. I have a lot of dysphoria around that sort of thing. I am currently in pain because of it. So I've been thinking about it a lot.

(Also, this is a completely different headcannon, but I definitely headcannon Leo as a trans man)

Thinking more about it would be interesting to see people lose control of their powers because of how in pain they are I know. I get very upset very quickly like imagine how terrible that would be. (Like Thalia accidentally zapping someone or something)

I'm also a sucker for those hurt/comfort fics surrounding periods and such. Idk why I just like comforting fics lol

I do like the idea that the hunters of Artemis once they become a hunter would not get a period because fuck that.

Also among other things, Artemis is the goddess of childbirth and I feel like she can do that for her hunters.

I did add a little bit more from my original ask because I've just been thinking about it more.

Again, not coming for anyone I really love that everyone has their own opinions and fantastic ideas. It just makes me so happy as an artist!

Thank you! (Sorry tumblr deleted the original one lol)

thank you for the ask! and thank you even more for sending it twice lol!!

now, onto my thoughts. i totally see where you’re coming from. because you are right, part of being a demigod is having to deal with the crappy parts of both worlds. and as much as i would love for female-born demigods to not have to deal with periods, i can totally see them still having one.

so maybe it just works differently? maybe their cycles are longer and they only have a few periods a year? or maybe they are just way lighter? idk. but i still feel like they would work differently than regular humans

i definitely see where you’re coming from on the account of trans-demigods having to deal with it. there would definitely be an added emotional struggle with it along with the physical, and there’s a lot to explore there!

i love the idea of the children of different gods having different symptoms. like you mentioned athena’s kids having more headaches and migraines lol. and maybe ares kids get huge angry mood swings, and maybe aphrodite’s kids get really lovesick and cry every 3 seconds over couples doing cute things lol.

100% with you on the hunters not having one. no boyfriends = no sex = no babies = no period needed. they ain’t got time for that! they’ve got hot girl shit to do. like shooting people with arrows.

i also like the thought of demigods’ powers being heightened when they’re on their period lol. that’s hilarious. imagine a child of demeter having cramps and craving chocolate, and a cocao tree just spurts out of the ground LOL.

thank you for being so nice and wonderful towards people having different headcanons! and whether someone thinks demigods menstruate or not, it sounds like we can all agree that it’s at least different for them than it is for humans.

thank you for your thoughts! they were all super interesting!

[shyfoxsky]

Alongside now treating this blog like a personal journal and starting one of those color-coordinated mood calendars to really get down to how I feel, and after browsing through some old forums, I decided to really try to write out something coherent, except this time, I have a template!

"Identifying as" is something I've never fully understood. I've always struggled to really comprehend what that means, especially when the usual responses I see from others revolves around feelings and thoughts I either don't have or don't know how to articulate. For me, the closest I've ever gotten is comparing it to calling myself a woman, being something I don't have to think about or try, I just am, but that comes with a factual, physical body that I can just look at to know and I can't deny. A gray fox therian posted about their own ideas of it, and described it as this:

"There are a good number of animals that I could 'technically' consider a theriotype: I feel and act very deer-like when my senses are heightened, and have had deer phantom shifts in the past. I also tend to feel and act distinctly animalistic when I'm in the water, and could easily see myself as a seal. However, for me, none of these behaviours are deeply-ingrained into my sense of identity, so I wouldn't call them a theriotype. The only animal that has been present within me for my entire life, consistently holding importance towards how I see myself and the world, has been foxes."

The post got me thinking about what exactly it means to me to identify, and how that works in my everyday life. In my words, an identity is something you carry with you, something you are, which affects your daily life in a consistent way, even if it's not always obvious. The ways you think, move, react, believe, they're all affected by your identity. If an aspect of your identity has no effect on how you perceive yourself or how you interact with the world around you, then it's not really a part of it. For example, being female changes how I emote and move, being a ginger changes my self-image, being an animist changes how I believe other things exist, etc. In that regard, identifying as an animal is the same way. I should be able to concretely see how being this creature changes and affects my being in my daily life. To be a human is different than it is to be a wolf or a fox or anything else. If I act like one, see myself as one, and being one changes how I interact with the world and myself, then I identify as it.

How does this affect my current state of questioning? Part of this idea is that identity will affect you in the long-term. Thinking on voluntary labels, such as being part of a music subgenre like being a metalhead or swiftie, is that these are music preferences that span years, if not one's entire life from the point of discovery of the music. People who occasionally listen to a Taylor Swift song or discovered metal music a couple of weeks ago don't genuinely call themselves by these labels, not until it becomes a long-term, deep-seeded part of who they are. I have labeled as a wolf in some capacity since 2020, meaning four years, and I awakened as a red fox, meaning over eight years, on and off. The difference is that before I awakened, I was always seen as a fox, and others saw me as one. It wasn't until I confirmed wolves in 2020 that anyone else ever thought of them in context with me or vice versa. Even today, with no knowledge of my questioning, my mate automatically thinks of me as a fox, and it's clear that I do, too. Though when I shift, I may not consciously think of it as fox or wolf, it's clear that this inner canine affects how I move and act and believe. However, this has been the case with specifically foxes since I was little. From the first time I saw one to all of the foxes I saw on TV to now, they continue to be a part of me that I can't shake. I can't say that about wolves. They're cool animals, but they were never something I thought about until recently. Even horses consumed my life when I was younger, to the point that I was known more for them than foxes, but in a different way. Where I was a "horse girl", I was "a little fox".

I'm not here and now saying that I'm not a wolf. Since I first started thinking of them, they've been a huge part of my life and have become a part of me as well. They've become something that has affected my beliefs and perceptions and I'm doing my undergraduate thesis on them, so people are now associating me with them. For the other students in my classes, I'm more wolf than fox. Wolves also just have a lot of baggage that might be holding them back from stepping to the front as the dominant animal I identify as. Not only are they ostracized in everyday life due to being the stereotypical badass animal everyone loves (I say as a horse girl), but they also were the focus of a lot of young writers and artists in a way that they're now considered cringe, on top of all the misinformation and hate they get as a large predator, and that's all without the community's influence. The desire to both be a wolf and be literally anything else is so strong. I want to be the poster child animal, be a part of a pack, be this big and strong and cool animal, but I also want to be unique and be taken seriously in my identity and not feed into stereotypes.

I also just don't see myself as multiple animals. I don't feel this fluctuation between wolf and fox like I'm switching between parts of me, but rather that there's this shadowed, blurry part of me, and depending on the lighting, it can look like one or the other. I don't even know if I could describe myself as a mix, like as a wolf-like fox or a fox-like wolf or some hybrid. It just feels like I don't know what I'm looking at, and I need to take time to look at it for awhile longer to figure it out. I'm not a creature with multiple species or a hybrid or something adjacent. I'm one of these, but I just don't know which one because they're so similar.

I don't think I'm anywhere near confirming fox or wolf. It'll take time and more introspection and personal analysis of what it means to me to identify and how exactly both species play into who I am as a person and which one resonates more with who I am and feels more obvious and impossible to disprove. Today is definitely a fox day by how this essay reads, but that's okay. Just all part of the process. If you read this whole thing, goddamn you're spectacular. I'm really just vomiting my words onto here so I can process it all.

[sorya-lee]

What will happen to us ?

Character : Hunter x reader

Genre : 18+ story with fluff, little bit of angst (order 66 blah blah)

Words : 4K

Warnings : self-doubting, fear of treason, fear to fail

Author note : English is not my primary language but the one I am the most comfy with (notice me for any mistakes!) And here for all my thirsty Hunter girlies.

The Clone War drags on. It seems like it will never end. People are getting tired and starts to take side against the Republic and I, as a Jedi, am lost in the fog.

Things seems to be clouded, a strange atmosphere starts to reign but the only thing that seems to cheer me up is the fact that I always have my squad by my side.

I am in the Temple since I am a child, I am about the same age as Obi-Wan who's a good friend of mine. We trained together and gone through multiples difficulties together. My fighting style is a bit unique combining different forms, even the 7th. And I also have tendencies to do what I am told even if my instinct told me otherwise.

We are both masters in the Jedi Council but it seems I am the only one who's questionning the Jedi's doing in this war currently... Maybe that's why I have not a squad of my own. I have been assigned to multiple battalion during the war never without being involved with one. Even if I clearly had most missions with Obi-Wan and Anakin.

Then one day, Kamino asked the Jedi Council for a special detachment, they wanted someone special to lead the new "special" squad that they just created. I wasn't in the mood at this time, we just lost a battle and a lot of clones died. I am very fond of them, I always intend to make them feel unique, because that's what they are in my eyes: special. If only I knew at this time what would happen next, I wouldn't believe it a second.

I was on my way to Kamino, landing in Tipoca City, then led by the Prime Minister when I came across a little girl following an other Kaminoan. She was blonde and got the features of the other clones, but I didn't ask questions. Our eyes just met in this hallway and nothing else happened. Then we entered a room which was giving on a training room. There was a squad fighting.

They were very skilled and coordinated. They were simply fascinating. The Kaminoans explained to me that they were special clones with enhanced capacities. There was Tech, the brain of the group who possess an high intellect and he's a master of technology. Then was Crosshair who got an exceptional eyesight and marksmanship skills, he acts as a sniper and a long-range combatant. Then there was Wrecker who was much larger and stronger than the average clone trooper. He loves blowing things up, and serves as the muscle and demolitions expert for this squad. And talking about squad, there was the leader, Hunter. Hunter have heightened senses which allow him to track any subject and a lot of other things. And I was the one who was going to be their General.

The Kaminoans explained everything to me and used their numbers to designate them. I don't do that kind of stuff. We learned to know each other, I learned to not being an obstacle in their way. After all, they were special clones, why would I come across their abilities and make them less efficient?

Missions after missions, everything seemed to be going well. We weren't travelling in a classic Battalion Venator but in a ship they nicknamed "The Marauder". They came up with multiple plans named after multiple situations encountered during missions and they took a liking to disobey my orders but... Everything was fine at the end of the missions so I never hold it against them...

Then one day. No. That day. Everything was going fine on Kaller. We came to help taking back the planet from the Separatists, victory was ours. I was standing beside my squad as Caleb, the young Padawan of master Depa Billaba, was presenting the squad to his master.

Tech was rambling about something as I was observing the perimeter then master Billaba starts talking to me.

"It's a very effective squad you got there my friend."

"It is indeed. It's the best squad." I smiled proudly.

"I hope you don't cause too much damages."

"Oh don't worry they only like to use their strenght on the battle droids." I joke back.

"Are you planning to go back on Coruscant?" She asked.

"Maybe." I answered. "After the war will end. What will happen once it will be over?"

"What do you mean?"

"We will have to rebuilt an entire galaxy, to unite the systems again... I don't know if the actual Chancelor will be able to do that... But I am more worried about them." I said looking at my squad who was talking. And I know Hunter was listenning, not only because of his amazing hearing but because he took a glance at me before catching my eyes and turning away. "What will happen to them?"

She sighs and put a hand on my shoulder. "Attachments are forbidden to us, you shouldn't worried to much about them."

I looked at her intensely not understanding.

"But you know, they will be fine." She finally smiled.

I nodded. How can I not be attached to them? They saved my life more than once and Hunter... He seemed to understand me more than anybody in this galaxy. As leaders, alone, in a war they were fighting for something they didn't understand anymore. My heart was beating fast as the boys were talking with Caleb about going for another battle.

"Hey kid, you're ready? We move fast." Said Hunter in a cocky tone which makes me blush and smile.

"Good that's the only way I know." Answered Caleb.

"I think he got you there Hunter." I provocatively said to my Sergeant.

He looked at me through his helmet and I know that his look was full of kind annoyance.

"Ohoh I like this kid!" Said Wrecker.

Hunter looked at me and launch me a soft and confident "General." right before I answered "Sergeant" with a nod as he saluted me. It was our little thing everytime we came across each other or leaving one another. A little exchange of titles which was making us laughing more than anything.

As me and Depa were watching them leave, I was the first one to feel something in the Force. A great disturbance, I felt the pain of my friends. What was going on? That's when we heard it from one of the clone trooper who was from Depa's battalion : "Execute Order 66."

Then the trooper point a gun at us and Depa push me with the Force against a tree. She activated her lightsaber.

"Depa!" I screamed.

"Run!" She answered to me. Then I look to my squad, which at this moment was too far away for my liking, and to Caleb, who was young and alone. What was going on!?

Caleb stopped and looked at his master who was fighting against all the shots of blasters. I immediatly get up and ignite my own saber. The (s/c) color of my saber reflecting against me in the snow as I look at Caleb and called for Hunter.

"Hunter! Help us!"

"Master!" Was screaming Caleb.

What was I doing? This are clones attacking us I can't ask for clones to help us. What am I thinking now about my squad betraying me? I can't think straight. It was all the things that were going through my head at this moment.

I tried to defend myself against all the troopers shooting at us, tried to save Depa but she pushed me away with the Force to save me instead. Again.

"You must run!" She was screaming at us and Caleb. That's when a blaster shot hit her. I ran to Caleb and took him by the shoulders as I was trying to take him with me. "Run Caleb!" was the last thing we heard, I turned around because the troopers were coming to us next and Caleb security was a priority so I did like Depa. I stand between the danger and Caleb as I instructed him to ran away.

He ran into my squad, Hunter and the others had no weapons in hand, which was a good sign. I sensed no hostility but Caleb thought like I did first : Clone troopers means danger. So he ran away from my squad and I was deflecting blasters shots as I ran into Caleb direction.

"Caleb!" I shout. We had to run. Hunter is a very good tracker he could... What was I thinking again?!

I saw Caleb climbing a tree, I was hiding behind another one as I saw Hunter and Crosshair looking around.

"Come on down kid. We're here to help!" Said Hunter. "No!" He added when Crosshair shot with his riffle.

I couldn't believe it. I was paralysed. By fear? But what was I fearing? To die? Or to see my own squad trying to kill me?

"Liar!" Screamed Caleb. I ran away trying to be as discreet as I could.

The track continue as I saw Caleb on another tree. My com was still open and I heard the voice of Tech: "It appears the Regs have been ordered to execute the Jedi."

Oh no. I sigh with fear as my eyes widened. I didn't understand anything and I was running away from my own friends... But this?

"What? Which Jedi?" Asked Hunter. "All of them. They're saying the Jedis have commited treason." Answered Tech.

"That would explain things." Said Crosshair. How could it?! I didn't do anything. That's what I wanted to scream to them.

"It doesn't begin to explain things!" Retort Hunter. Was he sincere or... Was this a trap... I can't even sense it in the Force as everything is clouded. Even my own judgement is clouded.

"I suggest you get back here." Suggest Tech.

"Can't the General is missing and we haven't found the kid yet."

"Wrong." Said Crosshair as he shot toward Caleb. He defends himself and knock Crosshair out. I was too paralysed. I didn't wanted to hurt my friends but I had to save Caleb! Hunter threw his gun away.

"Easy, I am on your side." He said trying to appears as harmless as he could be. Caleb ran and Hunter followed him. My legs started to move on their own as I followed them.

Caleb stopped as he reached waterfalls, Hunter behind.

"Stay back." Screamed Caleb.

He took off his helmet. "Just hear me out."

"No. You killed her." He instinctively step back, my eyes not leaving Hunter.

"The others did. I am just as confused as you." He raised his hands. I wanted to trust him but it was too dangerous for Caleb and Depa's sacrifice will not be in vain.

Hunter held out his hand to Caleb then I saw the other troopers coming and I ran toward Caleb passing Hunter and I jumped. Caleb followed me as Hunter shout "No."

Caleb ran as I stood there, looking at Hunter. A look of guilt, betrayal and sadness in my eyes as I was looking at him for what I thought was the last time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Clone Force 99? Isn't it a bit too much?" I asked my fellow Sergeant as we were returning back from our first mission. "I mean, I love 99, he was indeed special in his own way but really now?"

"What?" Said Hunter, smiling a bit. "We're not enough special to you?"

"You know, every and each clones are special to me." I smiled to him knowingly.

"I will prove to you that we're even more special. I am even more special." He said, his body close to me. His presence was insuffocating.

"Hum, by any means we're more special than Regs. We're genetically programmed to be more efficient, smarter and-"

"Yeah yeah thank you Tech." Said Hunter annoyed by his brother who interrupted us. And I laugh.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The present day. I wake up from another memory from a time that is no more. Groggy and sad from my dream, in my all too quiet ship.

After the Jedi Purge, we received a message asking us to go back to Coruscant, that was a trap but Caleb wanted to go anyway so I let him. I have not the force to fight anymore. I am just wondering now holding the message of Obi-Wan close to my heart but still haunted by it. "Both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen."

I didn't sold my saber, I find another way to buy a ship. Who thought that I was going to end as a smuggler... I was doing a job for another trandoshan -and believe me when I say never trust a trandoshan but times are hard for everybody- when something happened. Thieves board my ship.

I run in every part of the ship, trying to protect my cargo and when I had no other choice because everything was dark, I take out my lightsaber and ignite it. It was the only light in here but thanks to the Force I was able to tackle my opponent. He was groaning from pain and I didn't recognize the voice at first. That's when I threatened him with my saber, with the only light in the room, that I saw the unique helmet design.

"Hunter?!" I say surprised.

More groaning come from the man under me. And no, it's not what you're thinking, I just hit him pretty hard and his head, even with the helmet, hit the wall behind us. He take it off and look at me confused.

"General?!" We stood there still and silent then he activate the com and said: "Tech. Call back the others and put back the electricity on. We call off this job."

I still didn't back off. I still have my lightsaber near him. Did he came for me?

"Who send you?" I say menacingly.

"General..." He tries.

"I am not in the mood for patience."

"You never were." He joke. I let him a bit too easily getting up. I am between the happiness to meet him again, my confusion to seeing him here and the fear of the last time we met.

"What are you doing here? I will not repeat myself." I say trying to avoid the shambling in my voice.

He raises his hands, exactly like last time.

"General. If you'd let me explain to you... W-we don't want to hurt you. We're not here for you, it's a mistake."

"Y-yes, it is."

"Hunter, what is it?" Another voice ask.

"Stay back!" Says Hunter glancing towards his companions. I raise my saber a bit and see the helmets of Wrecker, Echo and Tech. As I look up, I don't see the little person coming between me and Hunter.

"Hello." she simply says.

"A child?" I glance toward Hunter.

He clears his throat. "Omega. What are you doing?"

"She doesn't seems to be menacing only frightens." She says calmly. I look at her and recognize the girl from Kamino but before I could ask :

"And there it is." Says Tech, the lights coming back on.

"Thanks for cleaning up the mess you made." I says sarcastically turning off my lightsaber. "Now leave."

"Wait!" Hunter catch me by my shoulder. "We should talk."

"About what?" I say, knowing perfectly what he wanted to talk about.

"About what happened back there. That day." He continue.

I glance at the other, not seeing Crosshair. "Where's Crosshair?" I ask worried. A bit of pain crosses Hunter's eyes.

"We should head back to Ord Mantell." Says Echo.

----

"So this is the place..." I say looking around the famous parlor.

"Yeah!" Says Wrecker. Of what I could see, they didn't change... Or maybe it's just a face...

"Technically we don't stay around here too much, this place is a dump and the owner is very unpleasant." Says Tech. Yeah, no, they didn't change.

"But it's a good place to hide." Says Hunter as he sit on a seat near the bar.

"And you trust this owner?" I ask.

"They don't have much choice." Says a new voice. Then I see a Trandoshan coming to us. Remember what I say about Trandoshan? Yeah me too.

"Hello." I say.

Hunter clears his throat again. "Come with me, we have to talk."

I raise an eyebrow to him and he makes me understand with a look that he don't want to talk about it in front of the Trandoshan nor the kid.

We go in town, just us. It's been a very very long time since Hunter and I have been alone like this. My behavior is kind of unfamiliar, I am nervous and I stay away from him. We walk in an awkward silence until we reach the Marauder.

Once inside, nobody sat and we just stay there.

"So..." I break the silence. "Do you want to start to explain what happened or do you want to ask something else?" I sigh.

"I am going to tell you everything. Sit down, it's going to take a while."

And with that he explained to me everything. The Order 66, Crosshair's departure, The Empire, Kamino, Omega and the inhibitor chips.

"Maker... How could we have been so blind?"

"We were at war..."

"No I mean. The Order... That's a lot of informations. And this girl... She is a clone that you saved from Kamino... What do they want from her...?"

"We don't know. But we have to protect her." He says looking away with determination. I smile.

"Always so kind with children." He looks at me in the eyes with kindness. "I am sorry for everything that happened Hunter."

He gets up and come closer to me. "You shouldn't be sorry. It's us who should be sorry. You lost everything, you were alone and we weren't there to help you."

"It's nothing."

"No it isn't." He says firmly. "I could never erase the memory of this look of fear you had that day. When you were looking to me." He says shivering. I've never seen Hunter like this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Still playing with this blade ?" I said.

He stopped. "I never told you to stop." I laugh.

He scoff. "What can I do for you General." He says in a low tone. The mission has been pretty difficult and we nearly lost Wrecker on this one. As a leader, Hunter was pretty worried but never told his fears out loud, as we went back in the ship, the silence was loud. I kneel before him, trying to meet his eyes and squeezing his kneel with my left hand. Not it wasn't an appropriate behavior for a General toward his Sergeant. But he needed me.

"Talk to me." I simply said.

"I am scared." I look at him, encouraging him to go on as he let go a long sigh. "I am scared to fail them."

"Hunter." I answered putting an hand on his chin to force him to look at me. Red creeping my cheeks as our eyes meet. "Don't put everything on your shoulder, I am here to help you." I smile softly to him.

His eyes got lost in mine, it seems like we're floating in the moment. Hunter was scruting me intensely as if I was the only thing valid in his space.

Then we hear someone clearing his throat, not in awkwardness but to make us aware of his presence. It was Crosshair. "Sorry to interrupt but we're arriving." I get up quickly on my feet and pass by Crosshair, red of embarassment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I wasn't scared of you that day. I was confused. I mean... I am not going to lie to you I was scared at the start of everything but because... I didn't want to find that my most trusted men were betraying me and tried to kill me... I was scared to lose you that day... And I don't know what would have been worse... Loosing you, betraying me. Or loosing you... Because I would be forced to harm you..."

Silence. A silence was what follow my declaration. I took a weight off my shoulders. This silence wasn't awkward, it was like all the voices that were haunting me since that day just shut up all suddenly.

"Say something..." I ask Hunter, no, pleading him.

"General." He come closer to me and take my hand, his other come to my cheek. My head back off a bit in surprise at the affection, my cheeks redden at our sudden proximity.

He sighs a bit then smile softly. His smile, so endearing, so contagious that I smile myself.

"They could try to put any chips in my head, they could try to control my mind by anyway, torture me, break me or treat me like a toy, like cannon fodder, like just another clone in this galaxy... I would never ever harm you. I couldn't. I simply couldn't, because what I feel for you is far from what they believe they could do to change me."

His forehead is touching mine now, my eyes are in his, lost in his own words. My smile widden.

"What do you mean?" I say soflty, scared to break this moment. He puts both of his hands on my cheeks, raising my head slightly.

"I love you General. I've always loved you (Y/N). And being far away from you since that day was worst than fighting any battle. It's like I was half of me since that day."

I stay silent, looking at him with wide eyes, not knowing how to respond to that confession.

"Hunter." I smile. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you saying that." I say soflty, tears in my eyes.

He smiles back. "Does it mean..." He trails of, looking away and blushing. "That you like me too?"

I nod. "I am the happiest person alive when you're by my side. I am whole when you're with me." I grab his hands and caress them with my thumbs.

"With you by my side... Maybe things will be easier then... Maybe it will be like before again, when you and I were instoppable and always finding a way to everything."

"Hunter. You don't need me for that, you're still too harsh on yourself., you don't see how capable you are and you're blinded by the fear of failing them." I say growing closer to him who's watching me with wide eyes. "You're a good leader Hunter." I say closing the gap between our lips. Our kiss end his possibility to answer back to my affirmation. Our lips melt in a tender kiss and transform in a more feverish one when he puts his hands on my hips, getting me impossibly closer to his own body. We put every untold feelings and regrets into that kiss. One of his hand come on my neck then on my cheek, caressing it. My own hands in his wild hair, taking a full fist of it. Then, when we needed air, we pulled away but not getting away from our position, still entangled in a tight hug.

"It was my first kiss." Says Hunter.

"Mine too." I blush. "It's not a common practice among the Jedi." I joke and he laugh.

"I hope it will be the first of a long list." He says soflty, his raspy voice sending a shiver to my body.

"You can count on it. Why not getting on it right now?"

"Whatever the General like." He says kissing me again, this time more soflty, more tender, as an endorsement of reality.

After, he looks at me with an unknowing adoration in the eye and a spark of hope in the eyes, his hands cupping my face as I smile.

"What will happen to us?" I ask softly.

"I don't know. But with you. I am ready to take on the world."

The End.

[mumblelard]

ten year old in the eighties heads into the wilderness backpack dump or weekly world news

(image via cocaine bear)

my daughter listened to an album i mentioned, liked it, and told me about it including favorite songs and quoting lyrics. this totally normal event is unremarkable which is why i am recording it here for posterity

cocaine bear was a fun b-movie, solidly made b movie. it nailed the tone of heightened reality mixed with comic ultraviolence without any mood killing winks at the audience. i'm glad the kids were ok but i still would have been team bear ftw

i wish my friend was still coming over to hang out on the weekends when her kids were with the ex. i didn't expect it to last forever, and i know i appreciated it while i had it, but i am missing it a little more than i expected now than it is gone

we had two days of sunny weather in the low eighties with twenty percent humidity. it was the hundred-year flood of perfect weather for north georgia.

i had an idea for what i want to do when my current project is done and like all great ideas, it was sudden, unexpected, and just a little ridiculous

[thetreetopinn]

My ADD Medication Journey - Dec 11, 2023

2/11/2023 – Monday

Woke up shortly before my alarm went off, actually slept.

Single dose in the morning and no dose in the afternoon prevents insomnia.

Will continue with this until Friday. Will attempt two doses to see if insomnia returns.

Hoping that the insomnia is the body not being used to the change in brain chemistry and that a week of only a single dose helps acclimate to it.

Ate a couple of granola bars before taking the morning dose.

Dose taken at 7:45 am after eating two granola bars

Did not start to feel the effects until about 9 am

Digestion seems to delay the onset

Appetite suppression is diminished

Correlating eating prior or at the same time of taking dose with reduced appetite suppression

This will help keep me from forgetting to eat

Mild increase in tremors—assuming either because 'breakfast' was light or because medication affects brain chemistry in a similar fashion to either low blood sugar or increased excitement/arousal.

Known instances when tremors are more pronounce: When very hungry (assuming low blood sugar) When very stressed/angry/agitated (assuming raised blood pressure) When very excited Elevated positive mood, heightened enthusiasm, perceived sense of urgency

Current mood is relatively calm, but generally positive

Possible combination of medication and light 'breakfast'

Will need to try eating larger breakfast to test theory

A cursory google search shows that Adderall can increase metabolism

This would explain much of my experience

Felt hungry like normal, at lunch at 12:15 pm

Tremors eased down after eating

Online community has been sharing information with me about ADD meds and interactions

There is documentation that certain foods interfere with Adderall

Largely anything with Vitamin C

This can also include shelf-stable items like pop-tarts, power bars, and granola bars I may very well be sabotaging my medication Will try oatmeal for breakfast instead

Extremely grateful of the fact that I have been sharing this log with others and asking advice

Information has been provided that can help me adjust my habits to maximize the benefit

Diet, timing, setting a schedule for certain activities, etc.

[trulymadlysydney]

hey queen my life has been absolutely fucking terrible lately I'm talking 3 family crises in the past 5 months I'm not thriving ... as an astrology girlie can u explain this to me like is mercury in reverse cowgirl or smth

if ur wondering my sun sign is Leo my moon sign is Capricorn and my rising is Libra

thanks squid ily

REVERSE COWGIRL 😭😭

Mercury is not in retrograde, however there is a ton going on astrologically right now. And obviously astrology isn’t fully responsible for anything going on in our personal lives, but it can help explain some weird feelings.

The full moon in Libra is coming up this week, and the sun being in its opposing sign Aries leads to a little bit of chaos. Things are changing, and a lot of old issues are being brought to light— especially if you’re currently in your Saturn return (like I am). People between the ages of roughly 27 and 31 will be experiencing their first Saturn return, which is kind of considered a big shift into your adulthood in which you’re going to do a ton of reflecting on all that you’ve learned in life. You may be feeling a little bit more… not selfish, but protective of yourself? Defensive sort of? You may be learning to shift your priorities and take care of your own needs now, and realizing your boundaries. Which is tricky.

Otherwise, regardless of your Saturn return, Mercury is in Aries until the 3rd, which is going to heighten a lot of that defensiveness and make things seem a lot more explosive than they are. Mercury is going to enter Taurus on the 3rd, and things are going to slow down. You’ll find yourself being more deliberate in your actions.

Mars is also in Cancer right now, so you’re going to be more prone to mood swings than usual. You’re also going to be more intuitive, and make decisions based on what fits your current mood.

Hang in there bestie. This too shall pass, the planets are just a little funky right now.

(Also! The above— excluding the Saturn return part maybe— applies to all of us, regardless of our signs or our own charts! Yes your chart placements may cause you to feel certain aspects stronger than others, but the planets are still where they are regardless)