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decodedlvr · 1 year ago

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~ never did this before | virgin!Eddie Munson x virgin! Thick!Fem Reader \\ modern au

This story is based off the song Wet Dreamz by Jcole **recommend listening to it first to understand the story// can be perceived/read regardless if you are a poc; as I am mixed ♡ [descriptions of reader having tan skin and brown eyes; so it meets in the middle if you are a poc or not]

• Summary: after weeks of flirting and crushing on each other, you finally pop a serious question into your bestfriend Eddie’s head, and he has a hard time providing you with an honest answer // this is more like a rom com

• Warnings: MDNI; smut (not too explicitly) fluff, both kinda experienced? soft Eddie, cocky Eddie, sassy reader, brief mentions of smoking and drinking, he’s a little bit of a perv, masturbation, 69, protected piv, premature ejaculation, heavy petting, grinding, confessions, slight insecure thoughts? (both are 18+) word count :3.4k //sry 4 errors

Eddie’s Pov

Calculus. The last class of the day. My favorite class overall.

There she sat, giggling on her phone, showing me silly photos she took of her dog Skittle, the sun shining just right on her honey toned tanned skin, hair laying just as perfect as ever in that simple, claw clip. Curls and wavy bangs sectioned to shape her face, brown eyes that matched mine and oh those glossy lips..

I wanna kiss you so fucking bad baby.

Her outfit of the day, that new pink and black checkered shirt she got at the mall that I drove her to.

It’s so tight on you sweetheart, your tits look beautiful today.

White Reeboks as I have, but very much cleaner…

Those 100% perfectly stretchy, acid wash jeans you wear every week that fit your ass so fucking bad.. fuck don’t bend over.. don’t—

“Eddie? what’s wrong with you?”

Fuck— didn’t realize the moan that I slipped out when she dropped her phone, she cracked it..but all I could focus on were the back of her thighs when she bent over

“Sorry uh- I think I’m just sore from carrying those amps last night”, he says now rubbing his not sore bicep with a pout

Lie.

“Oh babe I’m sorry, come by later and I can rub it out for you” she replies

Why the fuck would you say that to me right now—

“Oh yeah? You’d just love to get your hands on me always huh sweetheart? ” leaning back in my seat, with a cocky smile

You blush and shove my arm playfully “you’re so stupid, you know what I meant”

——

She’s been like this for the past month, after Harringtons party. Smoking and drinking under that patio umbrella, away from everyone else. Laughing, holding on to each other for dear life. I tell her jokes, she ugly laughs. I love her laugh, it’s not fake it’s genuine like her.

We met at the drink table, both preferring whiskey over the red shit they put out.

We talked about our intrests, I was very suprised and impressed with how she carried herself. How she talked about herself. How she sat comfortably on my lap; as if we knew each other for forever.

Obviously her thick hips in that royal blue, tacky dress she wore caught my attention first

It takes a certain kinda person to make me laugh but she.. she was probably the most funniest and beautiful fucking girl I’ve never seen. A few beauty marks as she would call it, scattered down her neck and arms. Eyelashes so dark she could always pass on the mascara, the sweet charm and sass she had to her.. she was something different.

She was fresh to town and it was relief to meet someone new. Similar childhood experiences, divorced parents but her dad stopped reaching out to them. Her mom was just a bitch to her. Very narcissistic person but, she had her kind moments. She definitely wasn’t the worse mother I’ve ever heard of.

All of that lead to a heavy make out session in the bathroom.

Sitting at the edge of the toilet, her scratching the back of my head with those sharp coffin shaped nails, me squeezing the fat of her ass on my lap. Hell, I was surprised how into this she was.. considering I’ve only kissed two girls in my life.

Sure I’ve watched my fair share of porn, visited sex stores, took a few notes; even got a handy under the bleachers last year from Carol. She forgot to pay for the weed I gave her, she offered, why not.

“Oh yeah, what’s your name again?” I ask kissing down her neck

“Y/N, but you can call me anything you want right now” she whimpers at the feeling of me nipping her throat

-“fuck you’re a r-really good kisser”

“-could say the same about you sweetheart” feeling the roll of her heat over my already strained dick.

I wonder how many guys she’s done this with

“Sorry, I don’t usually do this but, there’s just something so sexy about you”—

Biggest fucking ego boot ever.

“Fuck baby, if you keep talkin to me like that I’m gonna bust”

“Awe, am I making you feel some typa way Eddie?” She smirks looking down at me

“You know you are”

—

Unfortunately that ended quicker than it started, Robin got too hungover and needed our space.

She told me her classes and we exchanged numbers.

After that we talked everyday on FaceTime after getting home from school. I show her a new guitar riff and she shows me the new necklaces or shirts she ordered.

Sometimes she’d forget she was on camera and changed out of her bra a few times.

Hey, couldn’t help but to look come on, I am just a man

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve fucked myself to that imagine every morning.. and evening and night..

Slept on the phone together, hung out at lunch together.

I only ever seen her at lunch other than at the end of the day in Mrs. Wilson’s calculus class. Bringing us back to now

——

“Mr. Munson are you done chatting now?” Wilson knocks me out of my trance

“Sorry bout that, yes ma’am” giving her a thumbs up sitting back up straight as she rolls her eyes subtly.

You slide me note. Folded up, in blue highlighted letters

You ever have sex before? Circle Yes or No ♡

fuck—we never even discuss stuff like that! how haven’t we? Don’t embarrass yourself man

Course I have, why? what’s got you so curious? ;)

I watch her look away quickly, gulping when she covers the paper to respond back

Well.. you’re cute and shit & was wondering if you wanna come over friday..? My parents have been gone all week and..we can hang or do whatever.. ♡

Did she wanna fuck? I hope so —wait you’re a virgin idiot, wait is she? probably not

I’m already there babe ;)

I reply with an easy smile, hiding the fact I’m in a state of panic

Good.. and uh bring those handcuffs on your wall too.. ♡

No way she’s a virgin talking like that

She rushes outta the classroom at the bell, turning back with a wink

Holy shit I gotta talk to Harrington.

“-and that’s what I’m saying dude, just sweet talk her, treat her like a princess, rub her in all the right places”—

“Okay but what ARE those places? I know her like tits and shit.. and well under her panties but what does it feel like? Ya know putting in it? What if I cum too fast and she laughs or runs away and never talks to me again..”—

I’ve been pacing back in forth in Family Video, loud where all the customers could hear. Definitely loud enough for Robin to upchuck her lunch

“No Eddie- just, come back here— Rob? watch the front please?” Steve grabs me by the shoulder making a bee line to the stock room

Sitting on the empty table still trying to gather my thoughts of Steve’s advice. “Well?” I rush out

“Damn man let me sit down first” he scoffs pulling a chair over to me

“Alright, you wanna know what inside a vagina feels like right?”

“Jesus, can you just say pussy or some shit”

“Same thing” he glared

“Okay well it’s not really sexy to just say vagina-

-“god Eddie, do you wanna know or not?” I can tell I’m testing his patience, I shut my lips, nodding eagerly

“Okay, so It’s like this- well like wet and really, really warm, almost like hot bath around your dick or a tight hug”—

“Wow, a hot bath thanks for the analogy Steve, I’ll make sure to take one when I get home”

He deadpans at me. “You asked me and I’m telling you, it’s hard to really explain other than a tight, wet warm hug. Oh!” he snaps his finger”-and sometimes it’ll tighten around your cock when she’s about to cum and holy shit dude— you better hold your load because the first time I had sex, it lasted about 10 seconds” My eyes widen

“WHAT!?” I shout before him shushing me “King Steve was a minute man?”— I joke

“Hey I said at first, when you get used to having sex your stamina gets better and for me personally”— he leans in “I can last approximately 45 minutes and 27 seconds” he sits back proudly

Cocky bastard.

Shit.

How long will I last? Will jerking off more boost my stamina?

——

Since that afternoon I did as much research as a I could, making a DIY sponge fleshlight.

That was a fail, got carpet burn.

Even bought condoms from the corner store, didnt know what size i was so, i grabbed all 4 boxes

Practicing my stroke game, using my pillow as a hole.

Down. Glide. Up. Down. Guide up.

Ow, fuck, cramp, cramp

This shits hard. My back hurts.

Throwing away the 8th used condom of the day, tossing myself in my desk chair, forehead sweaty, wrists throbbing; hearing my phone go off

FaceTime from Crush🖤

“Ah, fuck”— grabbing a shirt, wiping off the excess sweat off my skin, putting my pants back on, setting the phone up on my night stand, grabbing the guitar quickly setting it on my lap— “Hey! Sweetheart, what’s up, what are you up to?”

“I could ask you the same thing why is your face so red?” She asks giggling, laying on her tummy, tits spilling out , kicking her socked feet from behind

“Just took a hot shower is all”

“But your hairs not wet?” you give me a suspicious look, “Oh yeah, I just tied it up..sooo still want me over tomorrow?”

“Hell yeah! I picked up cookie dough the edible kind because I know you like that anddddd”- she reaches over her phone to grab something—“I rented whole stab franchise for a throwback”- showing me her laptop screen

“Well, that sounds like a party to me”

“You got that right..” She replies, biting her lip as if I didn’t notice,- “Anywaysss, just calling to remind you, see you tomorrow im tired, goodnight dummy *mwah*

She always ends our calls with a kiss on screen

Fuck I’m hard again

“Can’t wait sweetheart, sweet dreams” ending the call, looking down at my bulge

Welp, gotta jerk off again

Friday. THE day I might lose my virginity to the sexiest girl in school. My best friend.

I wake up earlier than usual, do my morning ritual, a joint. My nerves making me shower twice.

Should I shave?

Would she care?

A little trim wouldn’t hurt

May or may have not nicked my balls. Not too bad, maybe she won’t notice. Finding my nicest pair of jet black jeans I own, I only wear ‘em for special occasions and a wife beater? Nah that’s too much right? A flannel would help. Yeah. Definitely.

Hey I look kinda good, checking myself out in the mirror

Alright, wallet, keys, condoms, I glance over at the cuffs on the wall. Can’t forget those, stuffing them in my back pocket

—

My palms are sweaty, fuck even my ass is sweating.. 3 cigarettes already in, on my way to her house; of course I have a bad fucking hair day today, so I just opted for a low bun.

Before I could even knock, you open the door my jaw already on the floor

“Hi dummy!” You jump giving me a hug, pulling me inside.

What the hell is she wearing

A transparent green knitted, cropped sweater

is that her nipple I see? Those goddamn Nike shorts are doing her a favor—“Someone’s excited to see me?” Kicking off my shoes

“I’m always excited to see you.. also nice hair”

and neck goddamn, what is hell is he wearing you think, already feeling horny from the sight of my neck being so exposed

those jeans are doing his fine ass a favor

fuck I’m wet already

“Come on, already got it all set up for us”

“Lead the way princess” following behind you

I need to bite those fuckin legs.

——

We always sit like this on movie nights. Me against your headboard, back against my chest. I don’t remember how it started but I love it.

“Didn’t David Arquette also play in Spree?”

I squint back at the tv, “Uh yeah yeah he did, he was Kurt’s dad I think”

She replies with a mouthful “omyeah”

My hands have been holding both sides of her hips the whole time, occasionally rubbing them with my thumbs; every time I do it your breath picks up

Something else is about to be up—

“Huh?”

“Did you even hear me? You’ve been zoning out a lot recently”, you say sitting crisscross

“Something on your mind Ed’s?”

Gulp

“No no just— “ sigh

“Yeah, you. You’ve been on my mind.”

She smiles looking down, cocking her head to the side

“Oh yeah? Been thinking about me have you?” She grins

“You have no idea. ”

My breath hitches when you straddle me

Fuck me

“Wanna tell me these thoughts you’ve been having?” she asks twirling a piece of my bang

Remember what Steve said, sweet talk her

“Why don’t I just show you pretty girl”

Her smirk instantly falls, cheeks crimson “shit.. okay”

Running my hand up your thighs firmly, wrapping my arm around your lower back, my free hand pulling your face closer into my lips. “Like that baby?”

Who the fuck are you she thinks

“Fuck, yeah kiss me again”, I stare blankly until my eyes turn to pure lust, pushing her down to her back climbing on top to ease my tongue back into her mouth, my hips grinding into yours, hearing you whimper…

You’d think that’d make me harder but it’s when you grind back into me that did it

“You’re so beautiful you know that baby?.. fuck been missing these lips for weeks..”

“Shit, me too, been needing you so close to my body recently it’s been killin me,” she whines, rubbing her hands down my chest

—“that’s why I asked you to come over, could tell you were feeling me too”

You’re right about that, I mumble sucking your neck,

I’ve practiced giving myself hickies on my arms freshmen year.

Eddie, score

“That tank top Eddie.. t-take off the flannel let me see you? Please?” You ask giving me doe eyes. I sit up eagerly throwing it about, she sits up on her elbows, throwing off her sweater

The goddamn groan I let out

Jesus Christ

You lie back down bashfully covering yourself

A whore being shy huh?

“Whattt? She asks feeling self conscious,

“You’re..fuck.. just let me get a closer look please?” I plead, you nod shyly

Squeezing your breasts hard in my palm, licking my lips, nipping them, kissing them, hearing you gasp “holy shit -

“What??”

I do it again, in combination with my tongue, She doesn’t stop me she moans, making me feel bolder, “ Lemme take these off?” My thumbs already ready to yank your shorts down

You don’t answer

“Hey, it’s just me you know you’re beautiful to me, right?”

“Yes..you can take em off” she whispers

Thinking it’d be hot to yank them down quick like those sex movies

I try it..

“Ow! Fuck what the hell?” She jerks

I didn’t know she had the goddamn drawstring tied. , “Ow..you pout rubbing your hip, “Shit I’m sorry! I’m sorry”

I’m already fucking up, “It’s okay.. it’s just tied” she says undoing them pulling them off herself, holding her hands in her lap

I lean down to kiss both hips as an apology, looking up at you slowly undoing your hands

Cute little hair she has

“Can I um..”

She looks down at me gaining back her confidence, “You wanna eat me don’t you?” My eyes widen, gripping her side, “Yesss.. really bad” but I don’t know how to —

“Can I see you too?” again with that lip bite

“Of course” okay.. here goes nothing whispering to myself , yanking my jeans and all down in one swift motion, staring at the spot on the ceiling

You scoff with the sour look, “Oh my god”

WHAT WHAT WHAT

“You’re packing Eddie”

“Oh..thank fuck, really? I wouldn’t say that but..” I sit back in front of her

“Can I touch it?” You ask still staring at my cock

-..But I wanna taste you.. what if we..you lay on me but backwards..? Like 69?” I recommend

She nods eagerly, nervously but very excited, “Okay.. just don’t look at my asshole.. there’s a spot on it that looks like I didn’t wipe but it’s not what you think! It’s a freckle..”, I chuckle, rubbing your cheek nodding

Laying down flat, you swing your legs over my face

Oh god fuck, “Such a pretty pussy” i mumble

Suck a pretty cock you think

You’re both horny as fuck, both licking on each other immediately —“Jesus fuck!” I shout, hearing and feeling you choke on my dick

“Y/n, y-you done this before?”

“Yeah—“

Damnit.

-“But it was with a guy at my old school, said I was the best head he ever had” , you say rubbing my balls

Hot.

Okay Eddie do what feels right

so that’s the clit? how cute

Bringing my lips around your nub, licking you, tasting you, “Oh god why do you taste so good, you smell so..sweet?”

“Was that a question?” You ask popping my dick outta your mouth

“No, no just the sweetest pussy I’ve never tasted”-

the only pussy I’ve ever tasted

I’ve never smelt anything like this, I think I’m addicted

Flicking my tongue a few time feeling you react in a high pitched moan, sucking and massaging it lightly, my eyes flutter spotting your ass hole winking at me

“Holy shit” she’s pretty everywhere

“What?”

“You have such a pretty ass” blurting out

“Eddie! I told you not to look!” She whines trying to climb off, “Shut up I do what I want”saying firmly, pulling you back down by your thighs; sticking my pointer finger in your cunt,

so that’s the squeeze Steve was talking about

“Ohmyg— fuckk yes please” she vibrates around me, a guttural moan purging from my throat, curling my finger like they said —

“Oh! Fuck yes keep doing that Eddie baby please”—

“I am, I am baby you just suck my dick”—

Holy shit who am I—

“-Eddie I think I’m gonna cum yep, I’m gonna cum..”—

“Wait really?”

“Yes!”

“Really?” Asking again “YES EDDIE SHUT UP AND KEEP GOING, FUCK”—

Thrusting faster, licking faster I feel your wetness roll down and down into my mouth instantly making me cum in yours

“Fuck baby like that, fuck did you..just swallow?—“ I ask but you proceed to keep sucking-“OKAY OKAY, stop, s-shit!”

Pleading trying to stop you from overstimulating me further, “Shit.. sweetheart, that dude was right, that was the best head I’ve ever got”

The only head I’ve ever got

She lays back down beside me with a large grin,” Was that your first time getting head? You came so fast for me”

Lie.

Not replying I get up, finding the condom in my Jean pocket, “What’re ya doing?” You ask with a questioned expression, “Condom?” I hold up “Oh, oh yeah yeah right duh”—

Fuck I forgot with which way it goes on— got it

Turning back to you, cock still hard, nudging your core

You give me a small smile, watching me hesitantly about to slip my tip in

“Wait! Wait!”-

“What? Sorry, I didn’t ask”—

“Eddie I need to tell you something..”

“Yeah?”

“I can tell you definitely know what you’re doing but I just.. be gentle because I’ve never done this before..”

never done this before, never done this before

I stare like a deer in headlights, the weight off my shoulders lifted. I laugh sarcastically to myself , “That’s, well.. I should probably tell you I’ve never done it either.. like ima”—

“Virgin too?”

“Yeah, surprise?” feeling embarrassed, “How did I not know that? We tell each other everything” shrugging, “Not sure, but I’m glad you told me before I stuck ya”

“Ew don’t say stuck me weirdo”

“Look, I don’t know what I’m doing at all, I had to ask Steve for advice.. I figured you would know more I mean since you wanted my handcuffs”-, you bite your lip, head shaking

“I said that because, I figured you’d know how to use em”

“There actually just for decoration sweetheart, looked kinda metal”, we laugh in awe with each other , “But here we are..” I say biting the skin on my lip—

“Yeah here we are” you look back up at me, hopeful, “Do you wanna stop?”

“No..do you wanna stop?”

“Nah, been hoping you’d be my first actually”, you blush at my statement pulling me down for a deep kiss , “Let’s do it..”

“..but what if I cum too fast? that would be humiliating”—

- “I understand how it works.. don’t feel bad if you do, I promise I won’t laugh Ed’s” she squeezes my hand lovingly

My heart is erect

I nod, looking over all of you again, spreading your thighs a little wider, “I’ll go slow”

Furrowing my brows in consentration, slipping my tip in, surprisingly not easy mother fuck—

“Holy fuck you’re so-

“Tight? I know I have a hard time fingering my self as is”

“Why would you tell me that at this very second,” I try not to laugh, holding my shit together, “that’s so hot by the way,” bottoming you out, we gasp in sync

“Oh god”-

“What?”

“Holy god”—

“What!?? You alright?” She asks , “I’m about to cum already”—

“I told you, it’s okay”

“I know but that’s so embarrassing”

You clench around me on purpose, suddenly your eyes widen, feeling a warmth from inside, while also hearing me grunt almost in pain above you

Silence.

“Im so sorry fuck,” pulling out, shocked at how full my condom is, “Did you cum?”, she scrunches her nose, “No silly”

“But you squeezed me?”

“Yeah but, I didn’t have an orgasm”

Fucking Steve

-“But Steve said when a girl cums she clenchs around us” explaining further—

“First off, I’m gonna need you to not take advice from Steve and second, I mean according to my girlfriends we do.. it’s like a few squeezes but apparently we really squeeze for a long time when we do cum? Maybe even shake? I’m not sure but I think I’d know when I felt it”

Well shit

He looks like a sad puppy this won’t do you think

“But hey, we can try again right? Don’t be embarrassed if anything it’s kinda hot”

“Really?”

“I mean yeah, I made you cum in under like 1 second, biggest ego boot ever” you lighten the mood, nudging my shoulder smiling at me, pulling me for another kiss, “Don’t ever tell anyone that” holding my forehead to yours

You smirk, holding your pinky up “I promise”, Interlocking mine, noticing your body shifted closer, staring at your lips, “Let me try again Sweetheart” your eyes also on mine, nodding, crawling back to you, chasing your touch, taking each others breath—

Was that a car door??

“Is someone here?”

“Honey we’re home!”

FUCK, not now!!

(again recommend you listen to Wet dreamz by Jcole; it’s a bop)

reblogs appreciated // this was fun. let me know your thoughts? I do realize the smut was kinda rushed? Should there be a part 2? Suggestions? Comments? Feel like I should have kept going for them to restart again but I dunno🤷🏽‍♀️

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can-of-w0rmz · 9 months ago

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Me when so many people think Les Misérables is just a dense pretentious brick but it’s actually genuinely the most top tier action/comedy/romance/historical fiction/thriller/mystery/horror/satire ever written full of the silliest most in-depth interesting varied characters ever written and the funniest jokes I’ve ever read and the most profound shit ever written that I think about daily:

I HAVE GIGGLED SO MANY TIMES AT THAT BOOK. OUT OF ALL THE CLASSICS I’VE READ AND REALLY LOVED, ITS THE ONLY ONE THATS BEEN A GENUINE PAGE TURNER FOR ME AND EVERYONE I KNOW THINKS ITS THE MOST PRETENTIOUS ONE AND THINK I’M READING IT JUST TO LOOK ‘SMART’. 😭 YOU DONT HAVE TO TORTURE YOURSELF WITH SUPER COMPLICATED TRANSLATIONS!! ITS OKAY!! YOU CAN READ A SMOOTHER TRANSLATION WITHOUT LOOSING ANYTHING in fact you’ll almost 100% get more out of it, I highly recommend the Julie Rose translation 🙏

Anyway Les Mis fans stop giving every last acre and drop of content to Les Amis THEY’RE FINE. THEY’RE OK. I LIKE THEM WELL ENOUGH. But WHERE is my babygirl Jean Valjean WHERE IS HE. ALSO STOP DRAWING AND PORTRAYING COSETTE AS A SUPER STEREOTYPICAL BLONDE LOVE INTEREST SHE’S WEIRD AND INTERESTING AND HAS A PERSONALITY OF HER OWN AND DRESSES IN ALL BLACK AND SHE’S NOT EVEN BLONDE 😭

#Les Misérables #les miserables #Les mis #cosette fauchelevent #jean valjean #Victor Hugo

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sixerstanley · 2 months ago

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i’ve been thinking about fujoshi bill being best friends with fujo mabel all day. it’s just so perfect, the embodiment of chaos being best friends with the coolest teenage girl and a hardcore fujo both gossiping. non-stop talking every night about how badly stan and ford want each other and it’s hilarious if bill changes his demeanor because of good doujinshis that mabel sends him.

ITS LITERALLT THE FUNNIEST THING EVER, AND CREDIT FOR @cravingpepsimax FOR TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ME

LMAO it started because he made a post saying "I hope you read my posts in bills voice" and I made a joke about damn Bill you really want your ex and his brother to fuck huh. And then he made art of Bill with fanart and fujoing out and I tagged it with "Mabel and him start a shipping club" and it went from there babyyyy

We were also talking that after a certain amount of letters and general good behavior they allow Bill to start calling Mabel occasionally and I can just see like, Mabel picking up on some Moments™ between Stan and Ford and writing shit down to tell Bill. And then way way later she accidentally sees them kissing and screeches and is like I NEED TO MAKE A CALL

it's just genuinely fucking hilarious that he's actually starting to have an attachment to her from this. King shit.

God he probably gets invested about it too (shout out to my thumbs for accidentally typing "incested" you guys know what's up) and gets genuinely interested about how it's going between them. King shit as well

Anyways I'm glad you like it I love chatting about it

ALSO TUE DOUJINSHIS THING YES YES BILL GETS SO INTO THEM

#Stancest #fujo bill au

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crystcllise · 10 months ago

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cursed child london year 7 cast

the other week i got to see the year 7 london cast of cursed child and i am AMAZED!!! such a strong cast of wonderful performers across the board and i was absolutely blown away with their performances! you can tell they really understand their characters and have really worked on the dynamics and relationships with each other to create a realistic interpretation of these beloved characters!!

as always, i’m always watching the scorbus duos to see the little things they do with each other and i just want to say that ellis and harry’s scorbus is such a delight!!! they’re definitely my fav pair now hands down! such a sweet youthful portrayal of albus and scorpius and their dynamic on stage is so so pure i adored them sooo much!!

i got to meet ellis and harry after the show and ellis knew who i was and hugged me im fine

like broadway, i took some very unhinged notes so behold, read below all my unedited notes on (mainly scorbus) but the year 7 cast of cursed child!

ELLIS ALBUS IS SO SKRUNKLY AND SMALL AND CUTE HELP ME

james sings the end of his lines and it’s SO FUNNY

it genuinely looked like scorpius was leaning in to kiss albus after he tells him to come to the funeral

harry putting his legs up on the desk and trying to touch his toes while hermione is scolding him in his office and she just 😐

BREAD BREAD WHATS WRONG WITH BREAD??? scorpius was very excited about the bread

scorpius’ hand on albus’ chest when the train started

scorpius protectively putting his entire arm over albus’ chest in st oswald’s when amos pulled his wand out

scorpius as harry was the FUNNIEST SHIT EVER THE VOICE CRACKS AND THE LITTLE JUMPS david absolutely nailed the harry!scorpius mannerisms

“WIZZO!” (jump and finger guns) i love one skrunkly boy

scorpius looking so shocked and terrified when delphi grabbed albus’ hand and kissed his cheek

once delphi kissed albus’ cheek, she turned around to face scorpius and both of them look SO REPULSED like absolutely not get away from me

edge of the forest !!! scorpius looked so happy to call albus his best friend and albus was so shocked and so in awe (people in the crowd literally awwwed at it)

albus looking at scorpius so admirably at the triwizard tournament while he was geeking out

i’ve never seen such longing stares in the staircase ballet what the fuck

delphi’s ‘you two you belong together’ was just sooo knowing like jess!delphi is a scorbus advocate

ellis’ hair 🥰🥰🥰🥰

the collective gasp from the audience when albus said he wasn’t a loser before he met scorpius in the library… OUCH

hermione crying after ron said ‘my hermione’ and trying to hide her tears when ron kept talking to her

SCORPIUS AND THE DEMENTORS !!!! harry!scorpius absolutely devoured idk

scorpius’ scream when albus came up in the water SENT ME he squealed to the rooftops

ITS HARRYYY (the highest pitched scream i’ve ever heard scorpius was VERY excited)

hermione in tears after mcgonagall’s office and rose just running into her arms when she sees her crying oh i love them

intense staring in slytherin dorms holy mother of god

the massive scream cry delphi did in the owlery HOLY SHIT it like mimicked the cry of an augurey bird it was SO GOOD i was genuinely scared for a hot second

delphi’s “looOooooooOove” when looking at scorpius and pointing out albus’ weakness oh jess vickers my queen devours every time + albus unable to look at scorpius and scorpius in utter shock

WAIST GRAB WAIST GRAB AND SCORPIUS’ HAND ON ALBUS’ IM COMING UP when albus and scorpius had to hide from lily with the blanket, albus literally just stood behind scorpius with his hand on his waist and scorpius had his hand on top of albus’ it was sooooo adorable

harry crying in his office after talking to the dumbledore portrait and draco walking in, giving a ‘i ain’t dealing with this’ face and turning to walk out LMFAO

“ugh, is that a farmers market?” steve!draco HATES FARMERS MARKETS HELP

scorpius jumping into draco’s arms when reunited :’)

albus and scorpius literally sitting on each other in st jerome’s, their legs against each other and albus leaning into scorpius’ shoulder they’re so :((

hermione and albus are definitely close and i live for it she was so warm and comforting to him in st jerome’s this is all i’ve dreamed of

“and now i think you’re finding wonderful clarity” and GINNY LOOKING OVER AT SCORPIUS GOD SHE KNOWSS

the staring in the final staircase scene and ROSE WATCHING WITH UTTER SATISFACTION

albus’ hand on scorpius’ chest after rose interrupts and brushing it off with a fake yawn HELP

“you good albus?” “mhm” ROSE GIGGLING AND SKIPPING OFF STAGE AND LOOKING AT ALBUS AND SCORPIUS SO KNOWINGLY MY BEST GIRL

the closeness after the hug when scorpius says ‘new version of us’

SCORPIUS DOING FINGER GUNS ON NEW VERSION OF US THEY BOTH DID FINGER GUNS AT EACH OTHER ALBUS DID THEM BACK THEY ARE SO SILLY

scorpius waving, albus waving, scorpius turning to leave, giggling and waving again I FEEL ILL

david!harry completely understands albus’ love for scorpius and you can really tell in the final scene when albus tells him scorpius is the most important person in his life. he catches on throughout the show and it’s really nice to see him fully accept his son’s bond with scorpius and be content with it!!

like mentioned before, such an incredible cast and i am so sad i won’t get to see them again!!! they are truly wonderful and i hope a lot of you get to see them bc they are fantastic <3

#scorbus #albus severus potter #scorpius malfoy #albus x scorpius #albus severus x scorpius #harry potter next gen #cursed child #hpcc #harry potter and the cursed child #ellis rae #harry acklowe

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cheolhub · 1 year ago

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hey hey heyy!! i have a question about your first impressions of your moots and anons?

i did a few of my mutuals and my active anons 🥹

@ncteez was literally going to pee myself when she followed me. the first time we talked, we were doing a pc trade and i was lit RALLY so fucking terrified of her but now i love her and i miss her and she makes me feel better when i have an issue with anything. my hon <3

@rubyreduji i rmbr one of our first convos was months after we became mutuals— i was really drunk at a party and i told him everything that was happening. he’s the only person im not terrified to talk to because i alrdy know he hates me 🤗. fun fact: jj has seen me in my truest form bc he follows my finsta (everyone keep him in ur thoughts)

@agustdiv1ne ashlee, aur my god. my first thought abt tumblr user agustdiv1ne was ‘wow, this theme is so cute’ and my second thought was ‘wow, ashlee is so kind and chill and i think i would like her to be my best friend’ and now i hit her up at least once a week on some bullshit and i make her pick my next read or i tell her abt this bitch that owes me $500 <3 she understands me bc we were cut from the same cloth

@etherealyoungk i thought skye’s account was so cute 🥹🥹 omfg i remember the first time we interacted was on our birthday (april 30th, nobody forget) and ever since then she’ll come into my inbox and check in on me and it’s so endearing and makes my whole day. i also love hearing abt how she’s doing T-T NOW me and skye are lowkey bffls. we just buddy read a book together and it was saurrrr much fun, i love her sm 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

@majestyjun MILLIE WAS ONE OF MY FIRST TXT MOOTS. i love her so much omfg, i’ve always thought she was the coolest ever like 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i am kinda just her fan at this point like it’s so embarrassing. i get all blushy when she replies to my asks

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast i was kinda intimidated bc rj uses punctuation (which is literally fine and normal) and i thought she was mad every time i’d be in her ask box. now i think shes the funniest person alive and she’s my favorite person to annoy the shit out of.

@heesbaby MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF CINNA WAS THAT SHE WAS THE SWEETEST ANGEL EVER. i still think this by the way. i will literally get on one knee and propose and love her forever /srs.

@gyuswhore i think i thought em was really nice and quiet and i was so wrong. em is so fucking funny and unhinged in the best way possible. she’s probably the only person that will call me a bitch and an irresponsible spender (she’s never wrong)

@toruro my first thought of mika was adorable and i thought she was a really great writer. literally have her manhandling with chan tattooed on my brain. she is so nice to me and our brief biweekly interactions are very endearing to me <3

@homerunhansol J MY WORLD, i think ive always thought she was an angel in disguise and she’s ALWAYS been someone i want to be happy forever and ever and ever. i also think i thought her love for vernon was so cute bc i dont come across dolly’s very often and it’s just so endearing when i do bcos they are literally a gift from the gods. i love j ⭐️

@sunnylovespickles i thought sunny was so cute actually. i remember our first conversation and she was making me so nervous liejwheheb so cute and sweet like i’ll never get over the way she flattered me. (how to get to my heart: validate me the way sunny did)

@taekurai MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF MAX IS SO FRESH BC WE JUST BECAME MOOTS BUT OFNSHSBE I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER? love at first sight seriously. i thought she was so kind and i love the pink on her theme and i just love her sm fr.

🪴 dead plant nonnie T-T ive always been obsessed w them. they told me they liked my desk set up and ive been whipped ever since. no but fr, getting an ask from dead plant nonnie is the highlight of my day. they are someone i feel like i’d be really good friends with irl 🫂 dare i say bffs

🍀 lucky charm nonnie!!! i genuinely think they are my lucky charm bcos every time i’d get an ask from them, i’d literally get a boost of serotonin and my day would significantly improve :,( i love and miss them dearly and i will kill for them. (and make them tea whenever they lose their voice in rehearsal)

🛼 roller blade nonnie <333 I THOUGHT THEY WERE SO FUNNY (i still think theyre hilarious ofc) but they reminded me a lot of myself and i felt like every time i received an ask from them, id laugh to myself and be like “this is some shit i’d say” 😭 i enjoy they’re book reviews and im waiting for them to send an ask so i can talk about acotar with them 🤗 (cough cough, come home nonnie im on book three cough cough)

#[ 💌: anon ! ]#[ ⭐️: mutuals ! ]#if i didnt put you please forgive me 😞

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imfrom-neptune · 9 months ago

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Rambly brain dump

I’m probably venting actually idk

Maybe don’t read this I just need to put it somewhere

I don’t think I realized that all the shit that happened just genuinely wasn’t as funny as I thought it was

Like it was happening and I was like “lmao my dad broke in a window tryna get into my house”. But let’s be real. My dad broke in a window tryna get into my house. What?? That happened to me? I was supposed to go to a concert that night. I missed it because I was helping to clean up glass and keep my siblings entertained. My dad broke a window.

I freak out when cars pass by my window and get nervous when people knock in the door cause it reminds me of the night my dad had cops shine lights through our windows at 4am trying to see if we were home. And the stupidest thing is no, my mom wasn’t home. I was alone and I had to be brave and deal with that by myself. Because she stayed out with her boyfriend and was too much of a coward to come back and keep me safe.

I stayed up until 5am packing up and moving and leaving my entire life behind. I live in a little house with a tiny pull out bed and a toy box as a bedside table. I packed my shit up while my mom was throwing away my things and yelling at me for not being able to carry things that were too heavy. I still packed my things and I still ended up in this sad little house and I still left my safe place and I can’t ever go back. That home belongs to someone else. That place isn’t mine anymore.

And this doesn’t even only apply to things that happened during the divorce.

I had to have been like six at most, and my mom had my mouth tapped shut while I cried in a corner.

I’ve been locked out on my front porch at least three times. I was maybe 12.

My mom has been throwing out my things for years. It started with toys when I “misbehaved”, and now it’s things that actually matter to me. She broke into my fucking locker thing just to get into my personal stuff and throw it all away. And then she had the nerve to deny it. She threw away my art because she didn’t like it. She took away the apps I needed to make YouTube videos because she didn’t like them. Everything I’ve ever told her I liked, she’s always found a way to ruin.

When my parents found out I was queer they yelled at me about it for hours. Punished me for it. Told me I could tell anyone I wanted but no one would ever believe me. And y’know what? I told my Opa and he believed me. They’re probably half the reason I was so scared to tell him. But guess fucking what? They were wrong. And now they want me to believe they’re soooo supportive? Fuck that.

In 7th grade I was (for lack of a nicer way to say it-) very suicidal and I struggled slightly with hurting myself. Ofc I didn’t hurt myself in a way that mattered, I don’t even have scars anymore, but regardless. They found out about this, and punished me for that too. I literally wanted to be dead, thought I deserved it, and they grounded me for it. Didn’t help me at all. Just made me feel worse about it. I got myself clean and I made myself want to be alive again. They didn’t do anything for me.

I’ve been hit for things I shouldn’t have been. Sometimes I made the mistake of fighting back. I haven’t been hit since the divorce, cause y’know, they want me to like them. But I used to be hit all the time and I’m now realizing how scary that really is.

I’ve been threatened to have cops called on me. I’ve been threatened to be abandoned. I’ve been threatened to be killed.

I’ve been told straight up that my mother regrets me. Which is the funniest (or, maybe not funniest?) thing because I was literally unplanned. Though my mom refuses to admit it, I did the math, and my dad told me. We all know.

And I guess I just find it easier to play it like a joke. But it’s sorta hit me over the past two weeks that it actually affected me and I actually have problems because of it. It’s not funny. I may have had a childhood full of toys but I also had yelling outside my door at late night hours.

And I just played it as a joke because I didn’t know what else to do. Now it’s too late to be upset about it. It’s all happened and now I’ve gotta grow up and pretend it didn’t. I didn’t get the good parents. And I can’t do anything about it.

and it’s so scary cause if they can fake 20 years of love, what does that say about me? I’m both of them in one. I’m every bad thing they’ve done, put together. I’m a result of those mistakes. Am I designed to be as bad as they are? Cause I desperately want to be nothing like them.

I wish none of this ever happened to me. I remember too much and at the same find half of my memory is blank. I don’t know why I deserved this, and it makes it so hard to believe I didn’t. Why would such bad things happen to me if I didn’t deserve it? I did it all by myself for what reason?

#vent post #tw suicide mention #tw sh mention #shitty parents

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hostilemuppet · 10 months ago

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hi anon who almost threw up from laughing so hard again here I thjbk I genuinely burst into tears reading ‘if youve been following along youll know that floyd is pro life and would never agree to it’ this is actually the funniest shit I’ve ever read oh My god you and your friend are geniuses

Cannot stress enough how we are literally just doing what we think is funny so we are over the moon that anyone else also thinks its funny. I dont think well be stopping anytime soon. Maybe you'll get that halloween special afterall

#text

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lovelyelbowleech · 1 year ago

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Just finished rereading war games and I just had to tell u that this fic is so good it makes me actually insane. Every update has me on the edge of my seat. There are so many complex layers and moving parts I’m genuinely blown away.

I also love how you break up all the trauma with the funniest shit I’ve ever read, thanks for that, don’t know how I’d survive without it 😆

But honestly at this point I feel like Zuko and Sokka could literally be married with children and Sokka would still be like, why is everyone looking at us like that?? 🤨 This is what friends do!! 👨‍👨‍👧Were bros!!! 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 Stop making it weird!!! 👬

Literally cannot wait for the mental gymnastics that are about to occur. 😂

Thanks for writing!! ❤️

Thank you! I am glad you have enjoyed enough for a reread! And that you like the mix of trauma and humour 😊

Get ready for those mental gymnastics, they are closer than you think (or are they?) 😂

Thank you for the lovely ask! Next chapter may be out today (I know, mid week, shocking) or the weekend. We will see how I manage my time 😂

#wargames #allsfair #ficasks #coolghostdog

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yyunari · 2 years ago

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It's the season of love! and you know what that means, time to find yourself a valentine! and who better than one of your beloved mutuals? answer these questions, and the mutual with the most mentions your tumblr valentine:

Mutual you can always rely on?

Mutual who never misses a post?

Mutual you share the most interests with?

Mutual you were most surprised to become moots with?

Mutual that gives the best advice?

Mutual you have the most in common with?

Mutual who has the best jokes?

Mutual you look up to or admire?

Mutual you'd run away and live in a cottage with?

Mutual you most want to be classmates/friends irl with?

Spouse material mutual?

Mutual with the best personality?

Mutual that never fails to make you laugh?

Mutual with the prettiest theme?

Mutual you'd have a crush on if you knew them irl?

Mutual you absolutely cannot live without?

Mutual you want to get to know better?

Mutual you can always rely on?

@muhwaa MY 4LIFER!!!! icb it’s almost our 2 year anniversary 😵 the way im closer to u than i am to my irl friends is crazy like ur the only bitch i consistently facetime every day bc yk U da Bomb anyways imy bro can u answer my ft

Mutual you share the most interests with?

@muhwaa the way we became friends bc of wattpad and genshin ✊

Mutual you were most surprised to become moots with?

@lunaflvms LUNAAAAA i swear when we became mutuals i was like😱😱

@sungbeam idt we’ve ever talked (idk i have bad memory) but i love ur works and i read them a lot and when u followed me back i was like WOAH!! that’s crazy

@iichaeyj i was actually surprised when u followed me back and we talked for a bit <33

Mutual that gives the best advice?

@muhwaa ofc ur the one i talk to when literally anything happens most of our daily fts r just me talking abt what happens in school

Mutual you have the most in common with?

@muhwaa HAIIIIIII

@yeongwonie HI YEONA IMY the more i think abt it the more we have in common which is rly cool anw text me soon🤗

Mutual who has the best jokes?

@muhwaa THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON THIS APP SHE JSUT DOESNT SHOW IT👹

Mutual you look up to or admire?

@muhwaa ur sm better than i was at ur age and i gen think u have sm potential in the future which is why i wanna help u get there😊😊😊

@cutieseo HI FAE i rly admire how kind and outgoing u come off on this app, and how easy it is to talk to u 🤗🤗

@amakumos even b4 we became mutuals i admired u and ur works and then when we started talking i was like WOAH ur rly funny😱

@hoori ELLYYYYY we’ve been friends for like 3 years???? THATS CRAZY anw ever since u reached out to me on wp to be friends i’ve always admired u and ur writing and imysm call soon pls🤗

Mutual you'd run away and live in a cottage with?

@muhwaa except we both don’t like the forest so instead of a cottage we’re moving to a big city like nyc or smt

Mutual you most want to be classmates/friends irl with?

@muhwaa WE WOULD BE CRAYYY like when we went to the weeknd + txt concerts tgth it was wilddddd we did sm and like it was sm fun

@yeongwonie i’ll move to u bc i like the area u live 😜

Spouse material mutual?

@justanne CALL SOKN PLS

Mutual with the best personality?

@muhwaa UR THE BEST PERSON EVER URBLIEK THE BEST AND U PUT UP WITH ALL MY SHIT like we’ve fought a lot but like it worked bc we work😜

@koakyuu OMG IM SO SORRY I THINK IVE BEEN GHOSTING U ON INSTA BUT I LOST MY PASSWORD TO THAT ACCOUNT SO I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO GO ON IT 🙁 anw imysm we should talk again soon <33

@cutieseo @wonieleles @mellow-midzy @shoyotime u guys r so genuinely kind and even tho we don’t talk a lot i like the occasional asks/replies u guys send !!

Mutual that never fails to make you laugh?

@muhwaa our texts r so funny this goes without saying.

Mutual with the prettiest theme?

@muhwaa 🤗🤗🤗 I LOVE HAERIN r u going to change it bc i rly like what it is rn

@seungstarss lwk idk if u know we’re mutuals but UR THEME IS SO PRETTY i luv it sm🫶🫶🫶

Mutual you'd have a crush on if you knew them irl?

@justanne i already have a crush on u😍😍😍😍😍 i miss the ooga boogas🙁

Mutual you absolutely cannot live without?

@muhwaa my lifeline. the jungwon to my jay. the soobin to my yeonjun. Da L Bomb.

Mutual you want to get to know better?

@haknom @urszn @trsrina @vuiom @eundiarys @mokiverse @hanniluvi @aerisfy @tzyuki @seungiepup hiiiiii 🤗🤗🤗

#i feel like i forgot some ppl but i appreciate all my mutuals 😻😻#i have sm mutuals i wanna talk to more😘#*ೃ༄ ♡ ˚ ──── ( lovely mutuals ! )

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negans-lucille-tblr · 1 year ago

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Okay, I was reading HP series again and all I could think was does Y/N ever poop? She wakes up kneels at Dean's feet. All day they be banging. What if either of them has diarrhea or something? Also, what about periods?

I'm too embarrassed with the amount of time I re read so Imma go anon

This is the funniest ask I think I’ve ever received. I have genuinely been crying with laughter at this for nearly 20 minutes. I want to memorialise this ask for eternity. Frame it on my bedroom wall 😭😂😭😂😭😂😭 “all day they be banging” 😭

Anyway, to answer your very pressing questions…

So with her period it was considered and I did purposefully choose a BC method that stops your periods completely.

As for the bowel movements? Idk welcome to fiction I guess where shit and piss don’t exist unless you want them to for some reason 🥴😂

I’d like to think Dean would give her the day off if she had diarrhoea though 🥴😂😂😂😂😂

Thank you so much for this 😂

#it could be the wine #but omg this is the best thing I’ve ever received #anon #ask #bee answers #memorialise this bee #fave ask ever #his property

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vtforpedro · 1 year ago

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update - tw in tags please read

I’ve been meaning to make a life/health/disability update the last week or so but those things don’t really matter to me right now. My cat Isis, my soulmate if ever there was one, died in my arms on Thursday morning at 10:32 AM. It happened after I heard a long, mournful yell/groan from her at 10:25 AM. She was fine before, then dead in my arms in seven minutes. 11 years and 1 month old. No warning, no lead up. To say I am devastated is an understatement. I genuinely don’t know how to live without my soulmate. She took half of me with her and my half, well... it’s circling the drain and has been for years. It’s why I’ve always said my cats and my mom are the only reasons I don’t unalive myself. My relationship with my mom is ruined and she won’t do family therapy, and my soulmate is gone. I love all of my pets the same, give them the same love, but there is the once in a lifetime or very rare animal in a long line of them who is just different and that was Isis. Tomorrow will be my third morning waking up and not seeing her come to greet me. She did that on the day she passed but I hung out in bed too long so she went to the bedroom. 10-12 minutes later and as I was getting up, I heard her cry. After attempting CPR, I knew the second she died and the ER vet’s front desk told me sometimes they choose when to go as I wailed with agony. She didn’t fucking choose this. She’d choose to be home if she could. Warm and loved. Not fucking that. I held her in my arms for 40 minutes. Then I held her on her favorite blanket on my lap for almost two hours. We wrapped her in another favorite blanket when we took her to the vet. We spoke with her vet, who is quite familiar with her, and he said it was likely a blood clot or sudden heart issue from what I described. Nothing to be done and no way I could have saved her. She felt pain and fear, but for a brief time she was aware that I was with her and I hope she was comforted by my presence in some way. I’m getting her cremains and a paw print back and one day I’d like to commission art of her. Right now, all I can think about is that I had not yet fully healed from the LP over a year ago so I could sit on the couch and she would lay on my chest and purr for an hour before falling asleep. What healing she’s given me for 10 years. Through some of the lowest points of my life, she has kept me going. I adopted her on May 5th, 2013. I lost her on May 18th, 2023. She was 11 going on kitten. Life is cruel and unfair. I wouldn’t wish going through those seven minutes of agony on anyone and I would turn back the clock to save her from the pain and fear, as she felt them both acutely. Life is so terrible to such innocent beings who have unconditional and insane amounts of love to give, as Isis did to anyone and everyone she knew longer than a day. Everyone always told me how sweet she was. They were always so shocked at how loud her purr was, the very reason I adopted her. I cannot believe I am never going to hear it or feel it again. I don’t want to believe it. She did everything with me and my morning routines are excruciating right now because she isn’t there. She went on most bathroom trips with me, we chatted up a storm every day, she laid in her designated second computer chair at my side, always always always laid at my side on the recliner or couch, and purred purred purred. Isis was the funniest, sweetest, most talkative, comforting, attention-hogging, purring machine. She was orange and proud of it. An instigating little shit and also proud of it. She is with me and I am with her, I hope. I’m still coming down from the shock of what happened but I don’t think this heavy grief will go away for a long time. The apartment has gotten too quiet and I’m lonelier than ever. Lilly is my lovebug and honey bun and she is looking for Isis all the time. Not because they were friends, but Isis did not let her have a moment’s peace! lol But watching her look for her is still incredibly painful. She was fully aware something was happening to Isis, as I had to push her away twice during those seven minutes, but not the concept of death certainly. Still, it’s only been 2.5 days and Lilly is becoming more anxious and restless. She spent today out in the living room with me. Almost all day. She is queen of the Queen Bed Kingdom and the bedroom is her territory (she and Isis had many words about it), so it was really unusual. Isis never really let her put her guard down out here and I hope she starts to. She will stop looking for Isis much sooner than I will. I see her everywhere. I feel her against my leg. I hear her. I feel the touch of her soft fur, of her headbutts, her cold nose as she always tries to lick my chin and cheeks and forehead and nose. I feel as if I could simply say Isis and she’d brrp and be here again. I don’t want to adopt another cat. I want to hang on for Lilly if I can. I want Isis with me again, even if it’s only her name on an urn and the fleeting touch of her paw in clay. But how I long to go back and experience adopting her and having her for another decade at my side. Maybe she’ll stop by my dreams and they’ll be kind ones instead. ☀️

#vtforpedro personal #tw animal death #tw pet death #tw poor mental health #i am not doing well #i was not prepared to say goodbye #not for many more years

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