#this is for future me and anon if they so wish

[thewalrusespublicist]

"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

[ravenstargames]

Hi!! I'm unsure if you guys will see this, but after reading your 2024 wrap-up I wanted to send some well-wishes for the future!! ^^

I've always been more of a lurker, but I just wanted to say you guys inspired me to pick up on my drawing and writing again. I'm especially a sucker for worldbuilding, and your whole idea with limbo has honestly gotten my creative juices going! I can definitely see you have created the world and characters with a lot of love and attention, something that I aspire to do as well.

For what it's worth, I'm so so glad you guys were able to power through your rough start and that you are here today, not only as the devs of what might become my favourite vn, but also as a fantastic team of talented and brave people to enrich the storytelling scene! I believe it takes a lot of courage to put oneself out there for the world to see(especially as first time devs!!), but I honestly think that despite some little accidents you guys have done very well, and can't wait to see more of what your galaxy brains will come up with.

I'm happy and proud to see your dream slowly but steadily become a reality, and as I did with kickstarter, I'll be thrilled to continue supporting you when the game comes out 💕

That's it for my little appreciation message, sending you guys a lot of hugs and cookies!!

Anon.........

I just wanted to say that we read ALL your asks. Every single one of you who spends time sending us encouraging words, sharing your experiences with us—we read all of you. We have 457 (and counting) asks in the ask box so we may take a while to reply, but please know that your words matter a lot to us.

This was such a beautiful read. I'm so happy to know you've found the will to draw and write again, and I hope you can enjoy it and be proud of what you do. Knowing we've inspired you to pick it up again is the best compliment we could ever receive, and as I always say, we promise to keep working hard even if we make mistakes!

Remember that creating is the greatest expression of the human soul! 💜

[napping-sapphic]

Rate nap arrangements? I'll start:

Big spoon: excellent. I am grabbing you so tightly sorry. 10/10

Little spoon:👁👁 Someone Is Behind Me. Also, wtf do I do with my arms. kinda hurts my shitty shoulders. 3/10

Head on her chest: I am so comfy cozy :3 but also worried about crushing her. 9/10

Her head on my chest: yay comfy cozy have a kissy on the forehead also No Harm Shall Befall You. I Would Fight God To Allow You This Comfort Forever. Who said that. 100/10

What are your most notable/favorite ones and how do you rate them?

I feel like i’m about to disappoint yall so bad but to be completely honest my favorite way to nap is alone🙃😭

Most of these positions or just being trapped in any one position for too long in general would cause the devil himself to try and sneak into my bones and kill me via joint pain so it makes that kind of thing a little complicated😅

I also don’t like being touched unless i’m really very close to and comfortable with the person so i honestly haven’t done much pair napping and it usually ends up being the other person falling asleep on me while i just sorta stay awake🤷‍♀️ in those cases it’s usually:

8/10 mentally i appreciate so much that they trust me enough to do that

But also

2/10 physically oof ouch ow

Idk though will have to find more people capable of jumping my ridiculously high emotional hurdles to help me find better nap positions🤔

[five-star-stay]

jisung probably doesnt WANT solo activitues. we know he struggles with social issues

I hate this ask actually. If you follow me, i hope you unfollow. I won't block because I want you to read this.

Han has said he'd work on an ost if given the chance.(in his live stream about 13)

Han has expressed interest in fashion while chan has explicitly stated in an interview that ALL members even ones that haven't gotten the chance to attend fashion shows yet are very into the idea of it and would love a chance like that. (In their vogue(?)interview for met gala)

Han shot his portion of WKorea magazine solo as did the other members from what we can tell by the behind the scenes videos so he is fully capable of doing it.

Han was a guest on lmj two years ago (his last solo schedule) and he was very happy about the opportunity. Proving he can do it. And you know something? Skz official twt account never said anything about han's appearance on that show. He was requested to be on show by stays when lmj asked which idol they wanted to see.

Han JUST performed in front of like 60k people at I-Days Milan.

Even when he went on hiatus, he never stopped performing and doing shows or schedules that you think he's not interested in or capable of doing. The only thing he took a break from afaik were fansigns. Which since then he's continued regularly. So I really hope you reconsider and see the blatant mismanagement for what it is.

Han literally makes his skz records with producers he has to approach himself because they get no company help for skz records at all, and he's always doing it with someone new. So do not tell me he will turn down doing an ost.

It's quite obvious that he's not being given the same opportunities and exposure by the management that others get to varying degrees.

Instead of thinking "Maybe he doesn't want to do it." And assuming "He can't do it because of xyz." Why don't we look at the facts I laid out: Han is talented, interested and waiting for opportunities in different areas and yet he hasn't gotten any solo ones since 2022.

Once again, find me 1 instance where han explicitly said he doesn't want to do the things others are doing before you say that he doesn't want it. Stop running defense for jype, a lot of ex jype idols have complained about it's mismanagement.

Of course I'm upset that skz are at their peak and han still gets paid dust in terms of exposure. I hate that you guys call yourself stays, but don't actually believe in han at all and are fine with no opportunities being given to him because of your preconceived notions about the capabilities of people with anxiety or mental health issues. Why does he need to prove himself every time before people support him? For the longest time people said han won't be able to manage a solo magazine shoot that's why he's not getting it. But he shot alone in WKorea for balmain and his cover version sold out multiple times from multiple stores even after multiple restocks. He performed his solo "don't say" performance in their Japanese dome tour night after night in front of thousands and he did it with ease. So just stop. If you don't care that he doesn't get anything say that and don't say that he's the reason why he isn't getting anything because han is always trying his best, and he rarely gets rewarded for it.

The following hanpop lyrics come to mind tbh.

Wanna fly high the older I get

It all keeps slipping away.

-

No lie thought my life would be full of starlight

For now, no more dreams, everything gets shut down

-

Even if it'll all burn up in the end I want to see it with my own eyes

[cowboyhorsegirl]

Steve and Tony during their “trying to be better friends and teammates” phase post A1, can’t agree on a show to watch together as a bonding activity. They have their preferred shows (in Steve’s case he’s going by summaries and vibes but he still has opinions) but they can’t agree on any of the preferred ones so they end up watching Supernatural, a show neither has on their fav list, at Clint’s rec cus he thinks it will take them all 15 seasons to become friends

They have just finished Season one, who they feeling?

the real question is which one of them becomes so smitten with Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles that they start anonymously posting on reddit about how wet they are for him and which one finds the anonymous reddit post?

[hart-on-my-sleeve]

WAIT ARE YOU TELLING US THAT YOU WERE WITH JIMMY HART??? ARE WE GETTING DETAILS?? 🤯🤯🤯

:3c

Can't say too many details, but yeah!! I ended up watching some wrestling matches with him for an hour and was chatting with him on and off throughout the day~

It's the third event that I've been lucky enough to see him at. 🥴🥰

[edenorisshitposting]

HOW FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL CAN YOU BE?!?!?! You are also a terrorist apologist! If you don’t think Israel is also being terrorist by bombing and killing innocents and children then you lost your mind! They’re doing it on fucking purpose too! Israel is LITERALLY BEING PUT ON TRIAL FOR WAR CRIMES BY THE ICJ! WTF is wrong with you?!?!?! Are you really THAT deep into the propaganda? As a Palestinian I say FUCK YOU. If you don’t speak out against what the IDF is doing then YOU ARE LYING when you say you want the best for us!

Oh that's what you meant. Alright, I'll clarify.

I am in fact, Not A Fan of when Palestinian children die. I don't think Israeli soldiers killing children is A Good Thing. I also recognise the israeli army is doing what they can to minimize civilian casualties, I also recognise it's not always enough. I also also recognise It's difficult to reduce civilian casualties when fighting an enemy that intentionally hides among them as a means of using them as a shield. I also also also recognise Israel cannot afford to just let it slide, as Hamas has proven themselves to be an existential threat to Israelis and Jews worldwide.

I don't have a good solution to the problem. Sorry, the world is complicated like that.

[dollicacies]

ik it's been a while since you made that post abt irl friends and i just wanted to say something-

i am a person like you who never had irl friends

often due to living w abusive/not good family you get fucked up bad and wo friends and not knowing some stuff that you don't even know you're supposed to know

just hold on there for a while cause i promise irl friends take time but they do come

and when they come they're lovely and everything you could hope for

one of my friends puts up w my possessiveness and is equally possessive of me

on my birthday the other wrote me a very long message despite me not talking to them for 3 weeks cause of academics

you remind me so much of myself

🪷

[chelseasdagger]

AAAAAAA IT'S HERE!!! I reread the previous two chapters last week because I couldn't wait! And the chapters are getting better and better! I was smiling so hard through the whole first part! The way Frank is with her... A DREAM

And the dancing scene?! At first it sounded like my worst nightmare - dancing and crowded space, but later I wanted to somehow jump into this scene and lived it...

And then the handjob? The way you describe it... I'm — gosh... I truly I'm lost for words... just 🫠🫠

AND THE HAPPY TRAIL STRIKES AGAIN!!! IM DEAD 🫠💀

I'm surprised that I can put together any sentences after reading it... it truly melted my brain! I finished reading it and just started giggling! Like there were no thoughts in my head! I don't know how I will survive the next chapter... anyway I really enjoyed it!!! 😊♥️

- 👽

oh my gosh sweetheart!! i cannot tell you how much this means to me 🥺🥺🥺 i’m having an off kind of night, and this just made me feel so much better!

i’m so glad to hear the chapters are getting progressively better! i often fear it’s the other way around, so this means a lot to hear :’)

the dancing scene is a bit of a nightmare for me too 😅 but i often try to write what i would do in a situation and i think if i was with him of all people and nobody else knew me? i’d like to think i’d try and dance haha

the handjob! i’m so glad what i was trying to say came across the right way! i had originally jotted down some notes of things i wanted to include in the final draft and reading those alone made my stomach flip 🙈 glad that i’m not the only one who melted a bit haha. and YES!! the happy trail!! it was in the notes, but then i forgot about it in the final draft. i remembered you liked it though, so i had to sneak it back in 🥰

i’m so honored to hear that you giggled after reading it! i truly wrote this for the inexperienced girlies, or the girlies who wished their first experiences could’ve been given by him. if i can make someone happy or a little melty, then i’ve done my job!! thank you SO so much for the feedback, this truly means the world to me 🩵

[todayisafridaynight]

if it's any solace to anon yaluza games do go on sale quite frequently...i got y7 for like 10 bucks on steam

you usually have to wait a couple months after the initial drop, and i mean For Sure there are people who do that but...... id rec prev anon to stay off'a tumblr for a while once the game comes out if that's their plan

[enniewritesathing]

[alilpuppyboy]

Uhh hhey hi hi I just wanted to say its always so neat to swing by and like,,, see how much fun you have with this blog. It earnestly makes me want to try and make one myself and my partners have been teasing me so massively about wanting to be a cute little puppy for so many people but like!!!! Dude you make it look like you're having so much fun, we love your blog and think you're the cutest thing♡

Wow holy shit oh my god /pos this made me so fucking shy and stimmy and happy this may have made my evening??? Djsbzjwjdn I am. Ah!!

Firstly: I am so very glad you enjoy being here!! I am aware I have been quiet for a while now, and that's largely just due to a severe decrease in sexual drive? My specific brand if asexuality means my sexual drive and interest kinda fluctuates a whole bunch and it's kinda 50/50 on what will get me going, so I haven't been.....indulging, I suppose, in any particular fantasies. HOWEVER. I am so extremely glad you enjoy the vibes and me being a lil goofy a lil silly a lil horny, especially about being a puppy!! That's so nice to hear that's all I want just to have good vibes and for people to have fun

Second: DO IT. Genuinely just do it, it's so fun and such a good experience for the most part. The best part for me is lovely anons like yourself sending me stuff like that, it's so so so nice and delightful and exciting!! And it's a bonus if your partners are into it and can (playfully, enjoyably) use it against you or to help encourage and support your desires, sexual or otherwise! If you do go for it I am more than fine with you dropping by and saying hi again so I can take a look at a fellow pup (if you would be comfortable of course!! No pressure at all I know some strangers can be Spooky when you know they're lurking/interacting).

Third: I'M SO GLAD YOUR PARTNERS ARE ALSO ENJOYING MY SILLY BLOG IT'S SO WILD THIS IS A THING YOU GUYS KINDA DO TOGETHER?? aisjendjwjs You're so so so sweet for this for real thank you so much I'm just a lil guy and this made me so soft and happy YOU'RE cute this was such a nice message to get tonight bloody hell thank you!!

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

🩹ANON HERE!! If it was about the panic attack brainrot then yesss that was me <3 I forgot I actually sent it because I was so tired when i sent that asdFGH

Hopping in here real quickie before I head back to work (I'm halfsleep actually) but *leaves a smol mothman* offering a smol friend for you!! :3

Also no worries about the late reply!! :DD You're good dw uwu I hope you're doing okay too btw! I will leave more crumbs when I have time or at least when I'm not sleep deprived </3

~🩹anon !!

i hope you're feeling better anon!!!! also you should rest :((( please rest!!!

!!!!! *gently holds small Foul Legacy in my hands* he and I are going to go on so many bus rides together. i'll wear a scarf so he can snuggle up to my neck and i can listen to his tiny purrs as i stare out the window. occasionally i'll give him little pats and feel his claws wrap around my finger until my stop comes and he clings to the scarf when i get up to leave

ah small Foul Legacy thoughts....

[iceunhie]

voicelines about you: as their lover ! (part 2)

featuring: sunday, aventurine, blade (+ black swan, acheron) [ part 1: dan heng, jing yuan, gepard, kafka, jingliu. ]

notes: well. the long awaited part 2 is here! (i took absolutely wayyy too long to finish this but a lovely anon requested the penacony cast so i just waited until now haha) stay tuned for either a future aventurine fic or a sunday fic tho; reblogs are appreciated! main masterlist.

Sunday

About [Name]: Ah, you speak of my beloved. [Name] has managed to strike your interest as well? Heh, I'm joking. You aren't that type of person, no? ….But yes, my lover truly is quite stellar, if not incomparable. I doubt I'd find anyone in the universe as lovely as I do them.

About [Name]: Smitten Robin often jokes about how my eyes change whenever I see them. ‘Softens like the smitten man you are,’ she says. Well, my sister is hardly wrong about matters of the heart, and to be fair, her words are indeed correct. While I cannot be with them every second of the day, despite my only wish to do so…. I suppose this much is fine. At the very least, this bewitched version of myself shall ward any that dare take [Name] away from me.

About [Name]: Preparation. …My mansion has everything [Name] shall ever desire. As for I, what I only desire is them alone, and for them to be right by my side. When the time is right, what's mine shall also be theirs, and none shall ever separate the two of us again. Should anyone attempt it, well, there's a reason my mansion is built the way it is.

Aventurine

About [Name]: [Name], [Name], [Name].... I see that you too have an eye for priceless treasures. Unfortunately for you, this particular one is already mine to behold. Mm, I wonder how my lover must be faring right now…. Missing them is truly, horribly debilitating.

About [Name]: Unworthy Whenever I think of [Name] being with me, of all people… Sometimes, the thought is unbearable. To think they would care for someone like me…. How truly lucky I am. Or maybe it's the other way around? Hehe, take a guess.

About Topaz: Contradictory Topaz and [Name] get along fairly well, despite her rather obvious dislike for me. Nonetheless, I suppose I can understand why. My lover is irresistibly charming~ Now, does this make me jealous, I wonder…. How about we bet on that?

Blade

About [Name]: Though this sword may be battered and broken, if you harbor any intention of harm towards them, I will not hesitate to brandish this blade.

About [Name]: Mara Infliction When afflicted with mara, the senses are ravaged ceaselessly, muddying the mind—being unable to distinguish ally from foe. This is my path. And yet their face is clear, pure amidst the carnage, alleviating the haze for but a moment. My mind may be overridden with hatred, but I will never forget that feeling of salvation.

(BONUS: Kafka’s Voiceline about [Name] !) About [Name]: Truly A Shame Bladie’s little darling, hm? Definitely a wonder, that one, taming him so easily. Those two are definitely an interesting case, that's for sure. Scary, marastruck Blade and them…. truly a shame. Even I know just how the ending of that particular script will end.

Acheron

About [Name]: …They are my lover, yes. Hm? Tell you more about them? Heh, I think you'd have better luck asking [Name] instead of me. I probably wouldn't even know where to begin.

About [Name]: Keeping Memories Despite the fact of my memories being in less than the best condition, [Name] always tells me about all the exciting things they've come across, whether it be delicious food from various planets, or even the most mundane things like the sound of the rushing water, the sight of fireflies in the night. They truly make everything worth remembering.

(BONUS: Black Swan’s Voiceline about [Name] !) About [Name]: Eye Of The Storm Ah, you speak of that Galaxy Ranger's companion…. The abyss that is her consciousness seems to only become calm in the face of them, akin to the eye of the storm. A shining light in the middle of nothingness—that is something that even she cannot let go of. No wonder Miss Acheron is quite taken with them.

Black Swan

About [Name]: The memories of Memokeepers are sorted into various categories by their importance. As my lover, my memories of them hold the greatest value of all. Such memories…. even if the Remembrance wishes for me to hand them over, I doubt I will ever allow it.

About [Name]: Dancing My proficiency in the act of dancing is all thanks to my continued practice with [Name] on our shared time together. Fufu, ‘dates,’ if you will. Every moment I spend in their arms, swaying to the beat of the music at every turn… those are the memories I wish to forever retain.

About Acheron: Indebted One time, Miss Acheron managed to get lost in the middle of the Reverie Hotel’s halls... as usual. [Name] came across her then, and proceeded to have a lovely chat with her. I owe her a debt for keeping my lover company as I was preoccupied with some matters the Garden of Recollection entrusted to me to relay to the family. Next time, perhaps I should invite her over for some dinner with [Name]....

end notes thanks for sticking around the part 2 (for the ogs who read pt 1) and do look forward to more HSR content in the future! also did i say i love aventurine

© 𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐈𝐄 : do not repost, copy, or plagiarize my work.

[nerdy-talks]

(In response to this: https://www.tumblr.com/nerdy-talks/724866513106059264/i-understand-you-my-relationships-are-all-trash?source=share) Thank you so much, you seem so sweet too. Yeah, it's sad but nice to know we're not alone ;ᴗ;. And don't worry, I just get tired of going through the same thing again and again, but there are still reasons for me to stay strong :). Even though it’s hard, I know we'll make through it and find more things that make us see the great side of life <3. Take care and thank you one more time!! ♡

You don't have to thank me at all, dear anon!

I meant every word of what I said, and I truly do appreciate you reaching out to me. Because honestly.... being able to interact like this has helped me calm down a lot. So thank you very much 💙

I totally understand what you mean about getting tired of history repeating itself, dealing with the same disappointment all over again, etc.

But yes, there are always reasons to stay strong and keep pushing through each day. The most important reason of them all : You. You deserve to find happiness, you deserve to have a positive future. You are priceless, anon. So never give up, and never forget that myself and others will always be in your corner (:

I know life can sometimes seem like it's one huge, unfair test... But it's important to focus on the little things. Whether that's hobbies, pets, family, or something you've accomplished today.

Those moments and the things we enjoy are what make each day worth it.

Please take care as well, anon! And as always, my ask box is always open 💙

[elisezone]

um i NEED a baby fever felix fic please?? like the whole breeding thing has MY soul

Oh, anon, you get it. You totally get the idea.

𝕱𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖝 𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 𝖋𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗

Warnings: nsfw, breeding

:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.

:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.

Firstly, I just know Felix wants kids. He’s always imagined one, two at most. He was brought up on the idea that he needed to keep the family name alive, to have a son, an heir. I can imagine Elspeth keeping up this mantra throughout Felix’s life. Telling him it’s what he’s made for, it’s his duty as their son.

He would want to be the first. He would want to have a baby before Venetia (although i doubt she’d ever settle down).

But he would want to do it first. He would make the family proud.

He kept this idea up his whole life, he needed to settle down, marry and have a baby as soon as he could.

He looked all over for the right person, he knew it was you. As soon as he held your hand on the first date, he knew you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Felix would bring it up with you frequently, little jokes here and there. Late night chats “what would you name our baby?” Type thing. But deep down you could tell it was what he truly desired.

He would confront you just before your last weeks at Oxford, you were about to enter the world.

We would lay down on the foot of your bed, looking up at you lovingly as you read over your notes. A feeling of ease in the air.

“Darling?” He looks up at you, that mischievous look in his eyes you’ve come to associate with lust. “Felix, baby, not right now”. He strokes your leg lovingly, admiring the tan you’d gained from the early summer sun. “No, sweetheart, not that” he laughs.

He looks up at you, grinning, “you know.. you now how we want to be married” he rolls over, gazing at the ceiling as he takes a drag of his long dead cigarette. He waits a beat, seeing if you’d reply. “I’ve been thinking. About our future.”

And that’s where it all began.

It took a long time to convince you, I mean, you were young. You were both very young. Yet you couldn’t see a future without Felix, he was your whole world. You couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else.

From then on, every time he’d fuck you, he’d have intent. He needed to have you, fully have you. He can’t wait to see you stuffed with his cock, it’s all he thinks of throughout the day.

He would hold off having sex sometimes, just to build up the tension. Because he knows that when he wants to cum, he only wants to do it inside of you. Deep within your pussy.

He fucks you hard. Like it’s his last wish on earth to knock up his princess. As he thrusts into you wildly, he imagined how godly you would look with a round, swollen belly. How absolutely delicious you would be, helpless, unable to cope properly without him.

With a hard grip on your hips, Felix fucks himself harshly into you, desperate to breed you fully. To fuck you stupid.

You can feel him falter slightly, his thrusts become erratic. He’s close. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer to you.

The thought drives him insane, over the line as he cums with hot ropes into your pussy. He fold over, caging you with his arms. His chest heaving. His body glistening, sweat beading down his chest.

“Fuck. Oh god- babe. You’re mine. Always mine, you always will be”

He throws forwards a few experimental thrusts and lets out a deep moan. “So fucking good for me”

You look so gorgeous, laying beneath him, completely still. Your pretty body twitching with pleasure.

And he refuses to pull out for so long. Making sure he knocks you up. Plugging up your sweet hole with his seed.

And then he realises, he will have to marry you soon too.