dollicacies

[dollicacies]

i don't want a gentle love. i want to be suffocated by it. smothered. owned. if they aren't willing to go insane over me and me alone — then what's the point? i don't want them at all. i'm tired of begging for scraps. why can't someone devour me whole?

[dollicacies]

𐔌 ᵔ ܸ . .ᵔ ꣓ tagging system ꒱ ♡

to make it easier to navigate our posts instead of keeping everything so messy

#darling speaks / #darling anon - replies to asks / a nonspecific anon

#darling's despair - general vents for when i'm upset

#darling yearns - for when we're feeling a bit lonely

#darling rambles - silly rants

#darling's light - vents about a potential future lover who probably isn't in my life

#darling dearest - diary entries about my f/o

#darling starves - ed vents

#slit darling - sh vents

#(emoji) is online - specific headmate posting

[dollicacies]

sooo!! guess who got trolled into thinking they finally got to matter to someone finally fall in love but they got horribly duped and manipulated? maybe it’s me just being punished for even entertaining the idea of being desirable to someone!!!! lololololol !!!! anyway!!!!! i’m probably just going to stick to obsessing over fictional characters because at least they can’t hurt me!!! sorry for my absence! <3 might also revamp my account!!

[dollicacies]

are you kidding me. can’t have anything. someone new must’ve been in front because tell me why it took me so long to figure out what was the new password they changed to since they locked us out the account.

- 📹

[dollicacies]

I hope you're doing well lovely <333

btw random thing I wanted to say cuz why not.. My name's Xiejian, but people call me Xiexie as nickname or Xiji, I'm chinese :pp

-💫 anon out

(don't forget to drink and eat!)

More or less am now!! I'm so so sorry !! I was stuck in bed all week feeling really ill but I feel better! However your name is sooooo pretty!! It's sooooo cute and soooo fitting!!

Also saw your prev ask and decided to answer here but i think i'm definitely going to get into it now !! thank you so so much for taking the time to talk about alnst with me!! think i'm going to binge it whilst i before bed (since it's almost time anyway!)

[dollicacies]

AHHH THIS IS MY MOMENT

Tw:there is some gore, I'm NOT responsible for the trauma you're about to experience my fella 😭🙏

(my best friend is so fucking tired of my yapping-)

Alien stage talks about these aliens that invaded earth and enslaved humanity.

the children grew up in a place called Anakt garden (ya know promised neverland? smth like that but It's just a really big garden)

Aliens treat humans like pets. They adopt them, abuse them and spend lots of money for them to compete in Alien stage

Alien stage is basically a competition where the kids, once grown up have to beat their opponents by singing. If you win, you go to the next round, but if you lose? you die, killed by some robots created by aliens.

Charactes:

Sua=Mizi's girlfriend, (they grew up together in the Anakt garden) Initially Sua was the only one to know that if you lose a round, you die, Her late sister told her so. (MBTI:INTP) she has black short straight hair

Mizi= female MC, girlfriend (MBTi:ESFP) bubbly and loves Sua with her whole heart, since there are no morals in Alien stage,the humans stopped believing in God) that's why Mizi refers to Sua as her universe. (Fun fact! Her alien family suggested her to improve her beautiful voice so she could compete!)

Till= came from an abusive alien family. He's marked and always has collars and other shit to stop him from harming aliens or people in general- he's always been aggressive since he grew up in that enviroment. Till loves Mizi (they also knew eachother from the Anakt garden and he had a crush on her since he was little) he has gray short hair! (MBTI:INTP)

Ivan= The alien's favorite (he's an absolute DIVA💜) Has a crush on Till (keep in mind that Sua,Mizi,Till and Ivan were a group of friends in Anakt garden). Till's bestfriend. has short straight black hair!

(ahh sorry if this was long! I'll tell you the meaning of the song in another ask bb!)

-💫 loves you!

AAAAA I'M SO SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE !! i think i caught a stomach bug oh my days.... but but buuuut ! Sua might be literally me (i say as I just see we share mbtis) but it sounds so interesting! I'm not sure where to watch it tho :( If you could let me know then that'd be so lovely! I hope you're having a good day, dear !

[dollicacies]

did you watch ALNST? (Alien stage)

if yes what's your favorite character and why?

(if no can I nerd you about it.. pls?)

(💫 anon wishes you a pleasant day!)

Thank you, 💫! I hope your day is lovely to you too ! I haven't actually !! But I kind of know their names and I think I'd like Mizi because her hair is pink and I like pink !!

But I'd love to hear more about it! So feel free to ramble as much as you like ! I just find getting into it a little bit intimidating!!

[dollicacies]

୨୧ ꒰ 🔬 .... is online .... ꒱ ୨୧

I’m at my limit. Every time I think this situation can’t get worse, she pulls another stunt. This time, it’s her insisting on dating them—without asking anyone else in the system if we were okay with it. And sure, I tried to talk to her about how unfair this is, how this isn’t just her life. We all have to deal with them now, like it or not. But what do I get in return? “Oh, they’ll try to understand everyone’s needs,” followed by some hollow assurance that they’ll “only” date her, as if that changes anything. They act like the rest of us don’t even matter if she’s not fronting.

So now, we’re all stuck, forced to tolerate someone who couldn’t care less about us unless she’s the one in control. It’s suffocating. This is our life, too, but apparently, we’re supposed to just suck it up, endure this person who ignores us, makes us miserable, and insists we’re all just secondary to her relationship. We're all supposed to not find happiness with someone who sees us all and actually loves us.

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s even worth sticking around. I’ve thought about making us starve or slit, just so we don’t have to be here anymore.

[dollicacies]

You're most certainly welcome, but every word wasn't just kindness, it is true. Though they just so happen to also be kind. I hope I can share more kind words with you in the future. You can just call me Andronus, which is short for Andronusdrulbrendrel. Consider me the resident, Time Lord.

I think I'd like it if you popped in a lot more, you're very silly Andronus!! Your name is reallyyy creative + uber cool but I think I bit my tongue a little bit trying to pronounce it ^_^;

[dollicacies]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this bb, I wish you the best and you genuinely don't deserve this :(

(also can I be a 💫 anon if it's not taken?)

thank you so much for being such a sweetheart, 💫 !! but you know, life is just like that!! i (foolishly) hope things get better!! but yes, that emoji’s free !!!

[dollicacies]

Oh you poor thing... I can't tell you how much I empathize with you. The absolute despair of loving so gut wrenchingly strong, only to have it hit a wall as if it was nothing. To feel like nothing because the person who was supposed to look at you with such wonderous eyes and speak of you in passionate tones, and to just smile, genuinely smile because of you and they just don't. The worst part is they keep telling you they love you and yet nothing they ever do shows it...

Don't be like me. Don't let this escalate further based on words, look for actions, for the old saying is often true. I married someone who truly doesn't love me. It's made my existence a living hell because of that feeling above festeres for years now and I just couldn't delude myself any longer. You are in a similar boat but much earlier in its voyage... Don't let your heart keep getting broken like this by someone. I can assure you if this exact same thing has happened before and it's happening again now, it will happen again and again.

I know you may not want to hear it but they may not be deserving of your love. The only people who deserve your love are those who can return it in full. You may tell yourself she loves you a thousand times but if the little voice in the back of your head, your capacity to reason, is screaming they don't then listen to that voice. It may be scary, you may feel beaten and battered, but hey you have the absolute luck to be a human being.

Y'know how many of those there are? 8.2 billion. That 8.2 billion people who may be just the person for you. For me too as I seek to mend my broken heart, but you have the added benefit of being 18 rather than 24. You got college and the fields of academia to explore right at your finger tips. Any history you want is yours to explore, any art is yours to delve upon and to hone your skills in, any field of science be it physics, biology, chemistry, and everything in between is right there for you to explore and pioneer in, and of course there's also literature, language, etc, etc...

You have so much to see, so much to uncover, so much you could do if it suits your fancy. Don't be me, don't throw it all away because of fear... Besides, I guarantee, if you really dig into the the things you're passionate about... You'll meet lots of kindred spirits, and maybe, just maybe, one of them will be just the person for you. But above all else, know that you deserve love. Know it in your heart and mind. You are the descendant of billions of years worth of reactions and survivors, a chemical reaction we call life which consists of elements wrought in the death of stars, which has been going on with out end for roughly 3.8 billion years, always branching and adapting and you, dear, are among the survivors, you dear, are quite literally stardust personified. Never forget what you are, or where you came from because that is just your foundation, because you as an individual are much more than that. Love that part of yourself, love who you are, and love where you are going.

I truly hope my words help you, comfort you, and move you, because no one deserves the suffering you endure, especially when your heart just wants to love so strongly.

oh god — this is so heartwarming… thank you for taking the time to write such a beautiful message to me. i think i’ll look at this every time i feel particularly down or whatever!! this really put a smile on my face!! from the deepest part of my heart , thank you anon !! ♡〜٩( ˃́▿˂̀ )۶〜♡

[dollicacies]

Sometimes I feel like I’m rotting. Like every piece of me is decomposing because she doesn’t care enough to hold me together. She’s killing me by ignoring me. Is that what she wants?

[dollicacies]

i think this is it. this is the one that will really do me in. i should’ve never let myself love her. never never never. everyone is just evil and out to get me!!! i should never ever be around others because all they do is hurt me!! i hate her!!! i do!!! i do!!! why why why whywhywhy are you doing this to me?? how could you ignore me and you didn’t even say goodnight because you found new friends and value them over your supposed girlfriend!! and treat me like an afterthought!! i know you hate my headmates too!! they’re already upset with how you keep telling them to their faces that you prefer me around and how much you miss me when they try to be nice and get to know you just so you don’t have to talk to them!! you’ll never accept us!!! never!! this isn’t true love and it’s my fault for letting you in!! i want to kill myself !! do you care??? you act like you do then you do things that scare me and i think you’re seeing someone else because what the fuck do you mean you want a ___ girlfriend am i not here??? am i not enough for you??? why? why me? i hope i die i’m actually so fucking SICK !!! why won’t anyone actually and truly LOVE ME!!??

[dollicacies]

i love when people describe me from their pov!!! yes yes validate my existence and confess to me your perception of my person!!!!! fuel me with externally observed identity!!

[dollicacies]

“Creepy anons… Creepy anons…. Creepy anons…Creepy anons…” I say into the mirror at 2am in an attempt at manifesting.

[dollicacies]

I think about crawling into your soul, digging my nails into every dark corner, and making a home in the parts of you no one else can reach.

[dollicacies]

may have taken awhile but I've finally changed my theme . sick of my user too to be honest .