#this is dumb and kind of meta but I managed to finish it

[hauntedestheart]

Transcript: "You Know The Face" Episode 47 - Blaise Gigson

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and resemblance to any real life persons is completely intentional, lol, but to spare the virgin eyes of the search algorithm I changed the name.

[Theme tune plays]

Arsenio: Hey there listeners, welcome back to "You Know The Face," the best podcast out there devoted to discussing the great changes that The Great Shift brought about.

Arsenio: As always, I'm your host Arsenio Braxton, still here and still me, and for this episode I'm by a very special guest- you might know the face, Blaise Gigson is here in the studio! Hi Blaise, welcome to the pod.

Blaise: Hey Arsenio! Thanks having me, I'm a huge fan of the show. This podcast is like, the soundtrack to my morning runs.

Arsenio: Oh my god, dude, I'm blushing! You've been one of our most requested guests for a while now so it's such a pleasure to finally have you here in the studio with us. And I want to let the listeners at home know, this guy is even bigger in person.

Blaise: Okay, now you're making me blush. I'll admit it, I always do fifty pushups before getting on camera just to make sure I look my best- does that make me sound weird?

Arsenio: I mean, it's healthier than my pre-show ritual, which is just a Red Bull and a shot of vodka. Now I'm gonna be calling you Blaise, but that wasn't the name you were born with, right?

Blaise: Yup, just like most people I was shifted into this body.

Arsenio: BUT, unlike most people, after the shift you decided to adopt the name of the original owner of that body. What inspired you to make that choice?

Blaise: Well I flipped a coin and- nah, I'm just joking. How do I explain this... the shift changed everything, you know? Not just our bodies, but the whole world. I don't really think that any of us are who we used to be, even the people who didn't shift, so taking on a new name just felt natural. Plus I think I'm kind of a special case since I swapped into a celebrity- I get recognized all the time, every day people come up to me on the street and call me "Blaise," so I figured I might as well just embrace that.

Arsenio: Oh that's true, I never thought of it like that. See, that's what I love about doing this show- getting all of these different perspectives. A lot of the people I talk to on this pod mention that they try stay connected to who they were before the shift, but it sounds like you're just full steam ahead. You very famously don't like to talk about who you were before at all, is that right?

Blaise: Nah, not really. A lot of people think that means I was a criminal or something and I'd like to say for the record that I was not, but I don't like to sweat the small things like who I used to be. I'm just focused on who I am today! And I think I make a pretty good Blaise Gigson, don't you?

Arsenio: Absolutely, man, you're crushing it. But I gotta ask, has the real Blaise Gigson tried to get in contact with you?"

Blaise: Try, like, eight Blaise Gigsons. That's the thing about swapping with a celebrity- there's a lot of creeps out there who were obsessed with you that think about this as their chance to get in on the action. Since it was impossible to figure out who was telling the truth, I had to just block all of them. For safety reasons.

Arsenio: Oh, so you don't talk to any of them? But aren't you worried you might be shutting out the real Blaise?

Blaise: Well, wherever he is he can rest easy knowing that I'm taking good care of his body. If you're out there watching Blaise, this one's for you!

Arsenio: Oh, and there it is! The famous bicep. Would you mind doing it again, just for me?

Blaise: Mind? I'd love to, these things are awesome.

Arsenio: No arguments here... actually, let's pivot and talk about that for a second. Now, we all knew that Blaise Gigson was a hottie with a body, but you've sexed up his image a lot since assuming the reigns. I'm sure most of our listeners have probably seen a certain viral video-

Blaise: The workout stream, yeah.

Arsenio: Dude. you broke the internet with that one! Seeing you all hot and sweaty, flexing all those muscles on the floor... pretty iconic if you ask me. Can one of the producers insert the clip here?

Arsenio: Damn daddy! Sorry, I shouldn't be thirsting over you while you're right here in front of me, they're gonna have to edit this part out or else before get cancelled haha.

Blaise: Nah, don't sweat it man. Trust me, no one gets it more than I do- you think looking at this body is great? Try living in it. Like, I'll admit it, I get turned on watching those clips too. I look fucking hot there.

Arsenio: So I think it's safe to say the "himboification" of the Blaise Gigson brand was a conscious decision on your part?

Blaise: Honestly? A little bit yes, a little bit no. I mean, it wasn't something I planned on when I first got this body, it just kind of happened. Like one day I just woke up and I was a famous hunk... of course I was gonna get a little wild, right? I couldn't resist showing off a bit. At first I was worried that I was going a bit overboard but people have really been responding to it.

Arsenio: Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who "responded" to that video, if you catch my drift.

Blaise: I hope so! I mean, think about it. When I was just a nobody sitting at home I would have killed to see my celebrity crushes take their clothes off and just, I don't know, start slutting it up. And so now that I am one of those guys I used to dream about, I wanna make that fantasy a reality for everybody else.

Blaise: Like, come on, don't the people deserve to see all of this?

Arsenio: I completely agree. Actually, could we see a little bit more, for the camera? Or even just for me?

Blaise: Haha, maybe later.

Arsenio: Alright, I'm gonna hold you to that. But we should probably get moving or else this episode is gonna wind up being four hours, haha. As the listeners know, I started this podcast because I was one of the few people not affected by The Great Shift, so I'm always fascinated by the stories of people who were. Let's get yours Blaise- can you walk us through your shift experience? What was it like for you that first morning?

Blaise: The thing I'll always remember about waking up was the weight. Being in a body like this one that's built like a tank, that's a lot of muscle, and muscle is one of the heaviest things in the body. I knew something was different before I even opened my eyes because I could feel how much space I was occupying. And that kinda freaked me out!

Blaise: But all of that weight is actually strength, and the second I started moving I knew that whatever had happened to me was a good thing.

Blaise: I'll never forget this- the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes and looked down was this giant chest blocking my view. I was so confused I tried like, wipe them off because I thought they were something stuck to me, but nope! I just had massive pecs all of the sudden. And then I got distracted just, like, squeezing them.

Arsenio: That's so funny- I hear that exact same story all the time, but from shifted women. I think you're the first guy to have the classic "boob grab" experience, haha!

Blaise: Hey, it's a classic for a reason! I say when you've got tits like these, you give 'em a squeeze. But I realized pretty quickly that there was a whole body underneath my chest, and that... woof. I was actually confused at first because I'd never touched a six-pack before so I was like "what the fuck is going on with my stomach" when I first felt it- I wasn't used to my body being so hard.

Blaise: The new core strength was incredible too- like, just sitting up felt better than it ever had before. And when I sat up and the blankets slid off of me and I saw my new body for the first time, I was shocked. I'd never seen someone with that many muscles in my life, and suddenly I had the best seat in the house. And by "best seat," I mean I had a dump truck ass.

Arsenio: Sounds like you were in bed for a minute then.

Blaise: A minute? Try two hours. I was alone with the body of my dreams and I could do anything with it, so I- well, you can probably guess what I did next.

Arsenio: I bet I can and I would love to hear about it, maybe even see a demonstration, but I think we should move on before we get demonetized. When you finally got out of bed, did you recognize yourself when you looked in the mirror?

Blaise: Recognize myself? Dude, I basically creamed myself. Blaise was one of my biggest celebrity crushes and seeing that face staring back at me from the mirror... just, words can't even describe it. Having all of this body and the face to match? The beard? This jawline? These lips? I'm handsome as fuck.

Arsenio: Dude, I'm so jealous right now you have no idea. So you weren't scared that you'd woken up in a completely new body?

Blaise: I mean, I was confused, but I thought it was just me, you know? I thought it was some kind of Freaky Friday situation and I'd just been zapped into this body so like, he could learn a lesson about the meaning of Christmas or something. I didn't learn about the shift until later.

Arsenio: And then did you freak?

Blaise: Nah. I feel selfish when I say that because I know how scared so many people are, and I feel for them I really do, but I was excited. I wasn't really thinking about anybody else, I was just excited to be Blaise.

Arsenio: And so we're heading on over a year since the shift- how are you settling in to your new body? It's quite an impressive physique and you've maintained it well.

Blaise: Thanks- keeping up with the gym routine was definitely one of my top priorities. Letting a body like this go to waste would have been a tragedy.

Blaise: But to answer your question, I'm still not entirely used to this body yet, and honestly, I hope I never am. It's fun always feeling surprised, you know? I'll just be going about my day and then I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remember that holy shit, I'm a fucking stud, and I get excited all over again. It hits me at the strangest times.

Blaise: Muscles are cool because they're like... they're always there, you know? I get a little show every time I look down. And the thing about it is- I'm not bragging, this is just a fact -I'm so ripped now that a bit of bulging is inescapable. People are always saying that I'm a tease but half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it, it's just a side effect of existing while being this hot.

Arsenio: Damn, and here I thought you were doing this especially for me. Well, it's nice to see that fame hasn't gone to your head!

Blaise: Haha, I mean, when the head looks this good, I can afford it!

Arsenio: I can't argue with that, that is one big beautiful head you've got there. Blaise really is just a stunning man.

Blaise: Aren't I? It's great. I was kinda nervous when I started being active on Blaise's accounts because at first I felt like I was impostor or something like that, but I knew I had to keep posting because people deserved to see this face. I get a lot of hate comments from people saying "you shouldn't be doing this" and stuff like that, but I block them out and focus on the positive ones. There's a lot more of those anyways.

Blaise: It sounds shallow but like, as a hot guy, I hold a lot of power. I've been on the other side of the screen, looking through it at those gorgeous faces, so I'm very aware what an important escape a bit of thirst content can be. Now that I have this face, this body, I can make so many people happy just by taking some clothes off and posting a picture. Why wouldn't I want to do that?

Blaise: That's why the content shifted. Less comedy videos, more thirst, workout videos, photoshoots- the stuff people really wanted to see all along. I love sharing the gift of this body with the world.

Blaise: I don't take anything for granted anymore, I live my life to the fullest, and I want to invite all of my followers into that. Especially after everything the world has been through since the shift, I want people to be able to open up their phone, see this sexy smile, and know that it's possible to still be happy. That there's still beauty in the world.

Arsenio: Oh my god, Blaise, I didn't expect us to be getting so deep on this episode.

Blaise: Hey, I'm more than just a pretty face... I've got a great ass too.

Arsenio: That you do, Blaise, that you do. So, Blaise, let's lighten the mood a bit and jump to one of our listener's favorite sections- and if you've listened to the show before you know what I'm going to ask you next. What's your favorite part of being in your new body?

Blaise: My favorite part? I'll give you two guesses.

Blaise: I love being a walking, talking gun show. Like I look down and I just think wow, I get to own these arms.

Arsenio: Yeah those are some killer pipes man.

Blaise: Dude you have no idea, I'm so fucking strong now. I'm still not over how like... round they are? It's like someone shoved a football under my skin, they tear my shirts if I'm not careful. I'm never gonna get tired of watching them flex.

Blaise: Every part of this body is great actually but I wanna give a special shoutout to my thighs actually- I'm thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. I just love having some meat on these bones, you know? I never skip a leg day.

Arsenio: Oh trust me, I can tell. And Blaise, you know I gotta ask because it's the question everyone's dying to know the answer to... how big is it?

Blaise: I'm gonna have to plead the fifth on that one actually- I'm currently in talks with a few different studios that have some ideas about how we can unveil that particular part of my new brand. But... let's just say that Blaise was a big boy, and he didn't disappoint. It's hard for me to make it through the day without fondling myself all the time, pun very much intended.

Blaise: This is so embarrassing but I actually had trouble pissing when I first got this body because every time I whipped my dick out to piss I'd get a boner from the sight of it- it's a grower, I'll tell you that much.

Arsenio: Damn, well, there you have it listeners! An exclusive!

Blaise: Oh god, I can just hear my publicist in my head screaming at me right now. Can you edit that out?

Arsenio: No, no, we are definitely leaving that in! This is the kind of content the people want to hear.

Blaise: Haha, well, I'm always happy to give the people what they want. But yeah, if you're really curious about what little Blaise looks like, keep an eye on my socials. Big things on the horizon... very big.

Arsenio: We'll be sure to put links to your accounts in the episode description. Moving on, I feel like I know the answer but here's one that we ask everybody: if you could switch back to your old body, would you?

Blaise: ...Sorry, what? I got distracted for a second.

Arsenio: Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyways, Blaise, you know what's more exciting than waking up to find yourself in the body of a famous hunk? Today's sponsor, Squarespace...

[lunarriviera]

why Du Cheng can't hold a grudge: a little  猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin meta

When Shen Yi first joins the Beijiang City precinct, Du Cheng can't stand him. Not only is he still pissed off about Tragic Backstory, but he doesn't believe a sketch artist can hold any real value, especially not in our era of policing via surveillance. In another drama, he might have continued to nurse his animosity for the duration of the season. But there's one moment very early on which expresses Du Cheng's whole character so succinctly that you know he'll very soon give it up, and quite quickly succumb to Shen Yi's charms usefulness.

First, though, he stomps into Bureau Chief Zhang's office pitching a fit about Shen Yi, of all people, occupying the late Captain Lei's office. But Zhang-ju is not a woman to be messed with. She promptly calls his bluff.

Du Cheng, still hacked off, doubles down. He throws his badge on her desk. Fine! Fuck being a cop! He'll deliver pizzas! Anything, not to have to work with THAT VERY PRETTY GUY.

But then Jiang Feng comes to the door to announce that a body's dropped. Try to sound a little less thrilled, please, Jiang Feng.

A murder you say??? This is Du Cheng catnip. Can he hold out?

Look at his big dumb head swiveling around helplessly, like someone's just announced there's free cake in the break room.

Zhang-ju is canny as fuck, though. She looks down at his badge and idly wonders aloud who's going to catch this one. No idea really. Who could it possibly be.

At this point, Du Cheng has managed not to be a police officer for a whole fifteen seconds.

UGH FINE GIVE ME MY BADGE BACK YOU WIN. But Zhang-ju has not finished winning.

(This woman is a mother of four or I will eat my laptop.)

Du Cheng has to pretend to think about this for another whole three seconds or so.

UGH FINE JUST GIVE IT BACK I'LL TAKE HIM WITH ME OKAY? OKAY???

(And then they proceed to drive off without him anyway, so that our little hero must ride to the crime scene alone on his bicycle. But the ways in which Shen Yi returns everyone's cold shoulder with this kind of serene tai-chi-like nonresistance is another meta entirely.)

All of this underscores two things: 1) Du Cheng's compulsive need to clear cases himself, and 2) his imminent practicality about so doing. When it turns out that Shen Yi is actually incredibly useful, Du Cheng stows his shit with remarkable rapidity and they do an enemies-to-friends speedrun in like three episodes, because nothing else matters to Du Cheng like solving crimes. It's truly the way to his heart. And when Shen Yi gets captured by Cai Dong in episode 3, what does Du Cheng say? "He's got one of our own." It's not just blind loyalty to the force; Shen Yi has already proven to Du Cheng that he really is a cop.

(And, ACAB; and China suffers from massive police corruption. So this procedural, like all the others, isn't reality, isn't a valorization of police work, but is probably some secret third thing.)

[rekishi-aka]

The Mars House by Natasha Pulley

So somehow...I managed to finish the book already? Not sure how, actually. (Well, I sort of do, I spent a few hours in bed with a hot water bottle on my chest to relax the muscles in case that's causing some of my issues.)

Anyhow!

In a way, it was a very typical and also a very un-typical Pulley book. I like her style a lot in all her books (we shall not speak of the Pepperharrow book and I have not read the Bedlam Stacks) and there are enough twists in the story to keep me entertained. Some of it was utterly predictable, but in a good way where I want to know how they pull off a trope.

I've been rereading some of the Pulley books recently and they're all much more minimalistic than I do remember them after the first read. Which is...weird, sort of, but I think is actually a perk of her style. It looks like a hole when you scrutinize it, but your mind actually makes up for it.

The Mars House is a bit denser written than her previous things, but in a good way, it's fun.

It has a lot of Mandarin (and footnotes!!), but often the hanzi are missing in favour of only giving the Pinyin. As someone with a basic language and C-ent background, this is mildly annoying. I think the random Pinyin would drive me even more bonkers if I didn't have that background. I like it! I genuinely do and I think it's nicely done. But also...I'm not sure how people other readers are experiencing this.

The characters are nicely drawn, I like them all even if I want to bash January over the head sometimes.

I especially like the gender abolition topic and the friction it causes within the society, but also the display of how if a non-issue it is in the end.

I do recommend it!

Spoilers under the cut

A list of thoughts:

January. I love him. He has no clue what kind of story he's in. Which is fair! But he makes some Really Dumb Decisions, which are understandable in his position - he's not a politician, he has only been paying surface attention to the politics, Gale is being cagey about a lot of things, he's traumatized, marginalized, and has good reason to believe he'll meet the same fate as Max - but argh. January, honey, get with the program and pay attention. (He comes around.)

Gale (River) is a smart idiot. I love them. But for all their intelligence, they are a bit stupid. I get why. It makes sense for them. But they could have made this a lot easier on everyone if they'd just come clean to January.

I wish we'd learned more about the naturalization process, because it sounds fascinating

I expected the Canadian shack (or well..tent in the cold wilderness), but not like this, that was nice twist

It's also quite meta since it references both a certain shop on Filigree Street, as well as radio-dosimetry on film

As I said, I need to suspend my disbelief here, simply because I mean

Mammoths?!

What do the mammoths eat and drink, if water is the limiting factor? How do they have pine forests, if they are low on water? I mean I get it, pine do better in cold climate, but pine also needs water. There are examples of arid cold climates on earth, but....hrm idk. Weird.

Why are mammoths relevant for the ecosystem anyway?

The resistance cages are such a central part and idk if it really makes sense. Like yes, gravity is lower on Mars, sure. And yes, people will probably grow taller in lower gravity. But one the one hand, evolution doesn't work that quickly (sure, they do genetic engineering), but also people who come to Mars will have less muscles after a while. We see it with ISS astronauts and they exercise a lot up there. So the danger would actually be less after a while if they just left people out of cages. There's even a point of that in the book, where Sasha and his staff train with the cages.

[fieri-sentio-et-excrucior]

@10holmes Thanks for the 'Get to know your fic writer!' ask! :) As my answer got lengthy (of course), I thought best to make a separate post. Answers are under the cut.

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

I like both, but I tend to lean more towards one-shots. When I get a bug for a story, I’m kinda desperate to get it down asap so multi-chaptered fics are harder as they take more time and planning and, especially, patience. That said, I really enjoyed writing The Prisoner of Jinlintai and The Tamed and was really surprised I managed to write – and finish! – such long, multi-chaptered stories. I hope I can do so again in the future 😊

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

All over the place! From the original canon, from memes and gifs online, from meta and headcanons other fans share, from songs, from dreams… Sometimes ideas just spring unexpectedly but fully formed into my head. That moment of inspiration is always exciting – but then it’s got to be transferred to paper, which is harder :D

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I think emotional scenes are ones I struggle with a bit. I often feel my writing ends up a bit clunky and melodramatic! But I try to put myself in the characters’ shoes and imagine how they would feel in that situation, their reactions to other characters’ words and actions. I think though, however unintentionally, my own personality probably seeps into the characters to a certain extent, which I know is not ideal! Particularly when I write Xue Yang, I often think I hold him back too much when he would probably fly wild 😉

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hmm, probably either Priceless or Life Imitates Art, as they’re both a bit taboo!

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Hmm, it varies from time to time. Sometimes I binge fics and don’t read anything for ages, sometimes I’m so caught up in the stories in my head that I don’t read anything at all. But probably on balance, I’m primarily a reader. There have certainly been long periods of time in the past when I’ve barely written anything at all but have devoured loads of fics. It just happens that more recently I’ve developed an obsession with The Untamed and have had the time, energy and inspiration to indulge in writing again (which has been a joy!).

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Only a very small group of irl friends know I write fic. I discovered fanfic in my teens, started writing it myself in 2012 and never told anyone about it until last year. Sometimes I see on tumblr people saying their mum or their sister etc read their fics and I’m always amazed – I think that’s wonderful! I can’t imagine telling anyone in my family about the things I write – let alone allowing them to read it! Esp the explicit stuff :O I’d die of embarrassment lol. And they’d probably die of shock!

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from The Prisoner of Jinlintai story/chapter?

Ooh, difficult question! I think there are lots of parts I really like from TPOJ, I’m pretty proud of that story (if I may say so!). I think chapters 25 & 29 are particular favourites, probably for similar reasons – ch25 is the first time XXC stays overnight in XY’s room, they’ve got frisky before but this time there’s more emotion behind it, and it’s preceded by XY actually being concerned about XXC and taking care of him. And in ch29 we get a glimpse of XXC being concerned about XY when he’s late back from his work, and then the scene when XY arrives back and finds XXC asleep in his bed, all calm and peaceful and beautiful. And XY is kind of struck dumb, surprised to find him there, unsure of his own reaction, but in the end just crawls into bed and falls asleep with him in his arms. I envisaged that scene so clearly in my mind, saw XY walk slowly and cautiously through the darkness, all alert, and then suddenly stop at the sight of his bed, his eyes widening, his body frozen, his fingers twitching, wanting to touch… And then I really like the last paragraph of that scene:

The room was so quiet and still. Xiao Xingchen was warm in his arms. Xue Yang held him carefully, as though Xiao Xingchen was some fragile thing that would break if he wasn't careful enough. He felt strange; his heart was still doing some weird fluttering thing that made it slightly hard to breathe. Maybe he was just overtired. He brushed his lips against Xiao Xingchen's neck and closed his eyes.

Now I've waffled on way too much about myself lol :D But it was fun, thank you! <3

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Alt Ending, Part 5

Hot take but finals kinda suck

First part

Previous part

Next part

Tag: @solangelo252

You’d think her body would be grateful that she was finally giving it food, but no. She put it in her mouth and instantly felt nauseous. It didn’t even want to go down her throat, and keeping it there felt basically impossible.

But Tim had looked so happy when she had tried, so she forced it down.

(Well, she forced some of it down. If he noticed that a good amount of the food she brought to her mouth actually disappeared into the sleeves and folds of her dress he didn’t say anything.)

Tim started coming by three times a day with food after that. She didn’t complain despite her discomfort, she had really missed him.

Also, he looked stressed out and/or exhausted whenever she saw him. She worried about him. They both had a tendency to overwork themselves when they hit blocks, hell she’d sometimes joined him in his week-long deep dives into cases, but now that she was an outsider looking in… she was kind of shocked she’d ever let it get that far for either of them. When was the last time he’d slept through the night? Taken proper time to clean himself, even? A while, she guessed from the deep bags under his eyes and the way his hair was frayed from running his fingers through it.

“Timmy,” she chirped.

He flashed her a tiny smile. “Hey,” he said, coming over and taking a seat beside her on the bed.

She took the bag from him and set it aside, much to his dismay, but then she reached over and dragged him into some cuddles and he suddenly had new concerns. He groaned into her shoulder.

“Bean, come on, I don’t want to sleep.”

She didn’t let go. “You need to.”

“Don’t have time.”

She rolled her eyes, bringing a hand up to start attempting to smooth out his hair. “You have to sleep eventually.”

“And I do!”

She didn’t answer, which he took to mean she didn’t believe him (a good assumption, she didn’t).

“I do! I get at least a few hours a week.”

“Wow, amazing. I take it back. You totally have a healthy sleep schedule.”

“Worry about yourself, first. You don’t sleep either,” he huffed, but he was starting to relax into her hold nonetheless.

“I’m also literally dead.”

“You used to say you’d sleep when you were dead.”

Marinette scoffed. “Well, to be fair, I thought I’d actually die when I died.”

He gave a short laugh, and she opted not to acknowledge that it was a little forced.

She yawned and laid back with his face in her shoulder. “I’m surprised none of the others have drugged you to get you to sleep yet.”

“They’re too busy drugging B --.” He winced just slightly. “They’ve just got a lot on their plates is all, I’m the least of their worries.”

She didn’t say anything about his tiny slip up, just gave a light hum to say she understood.

She didn’t dare to move until she was completely sure he had nodded off. Even then, she only did so to pick up the food he’d brought for her.

Her nose scrunched a little at the prospect of eating, but when she opened it and saw it was fried rice she perked up a little. She nibbled at her food.

Honestly, she didn’t know if it was working. It seemed to be, but then again most of the things that got better could be attributed to other causes. Her skin was gaining color again, but the bleach may have just started to wear out. She was feeling more energized, but then again she was now getting a total of four cups of coffee a day thanks to Tim and Jason fueling her addiction. Exercise was getting easier and she was packing on muscle again, but she was also working out enough with Dick for it to be explainable that way…

She didn’t know if it was working. She didn’t even know if she WANTED it to work. The plan had been ‘kill Bruce and then quickly off yourself before the others can react’ and not having an instant out was kinda problematic when it came to finishing that plan.

Not that the first part of that plan was working out for her, either. Bruce still hadn’t come to see her. She doubted he ever would at this point.

She didn’t even have a way out, as the door was automated and presumably opened by someone outside.

No. The only way she would ever leave was if she managed to ‘fix’ herself, and that wasn’t happening because there was nothing to fix! She would know. Her entire thing as Ladybug was fixing things.

She looked down at Tim. When he slept all the little wrinkles in his forehead smoothed to make him look much younger. She smiled a little at the sight, pressing a kiss to where she knew the creases usually were.

At least, even if her situation couldn’t be helped, she could still help others.

~

She’d come to expect a routine of sorts, so the moment it was broken even slightly her brain short-circuited.

Duke stood in the doorway as usual, but when she glanced past him…

“Where’s Cass?”

His grin disappeared a little, but he pulled his back to his face with ease. “Wow, I’m really feeling the love here, Mari.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please, we both know Cass is the best person to ever exist.”

Duke nodded his agreement and came over to take a seat next to her. She cozied up to him as usual, curled under his arm as he pulled up their newest show on his laptop…

She had a lot of thoughts about Cass being missing.

On the one hand, she just missed her friend’s too-warm body pressed up against her and quiet complaints about how the actors were doing it all wrong.

On the other hand… Marinette was completely aware that they had Cass stopping by as much as she did to check on Marinette, to see if they were making any real progress with her. Cass was a human lie detector, able to detect when someone was going to be dishonest before they’d even realized it themselves, and they’d be stupid not to take advantage that. So, the fact that they were no longer making Cass drop in as often… either they thought she was doing better, or that she never would do better.

Marinette hoped it was the first. She knew it was the second.

She found it harder than usual to enjoy Duke’s snide comments about how dumb and cliche some of the characters were. She turned and pressed her face into his side. The glasses on the bridge of her nose dug into her skin.

Fuck. She was never getting out of there, was she?

She felt his free hand come up to run through her hair and she sighed.

“Duke…”

He pressed pause on the show.

“Tim told me you’re a meta, that you can control light. Can you do it for me?”

There was a beat.

“Why do you ask?”

She laughed a little. “Does it matter? Can’t I just be curious about why my favorite brother didn’t even bother to tell me that he has powers?”

“I thought you already knew. It’s common knowledge.”

She huffed. “Maybe I just prefer to be told things than meticulously look through every piece of information to figure it out.”

“What kind of bat are you?” He joked.

She winced and the hand in his shirt balled it just a fraction tighter. She didn’t respond.

There was a few seconds before he sighed and moved his hand from his hair to her chin, gently pulling her face out of where it was hidden in his side. She refused to meet his eyes.

It was silent again, neither of them sure what to say.

“Here,” he said after a moment, putting his free hand out and making light dance across his palm.

Her face lit up, literally and figuratively, at the sight of the tiny ball of light. She leaned a little closer.

“Aw, it looks like a tiny sun!”

He laughed a little. “Yeah. I can also…”

There was a moment of silence as he concentrated and the tiny ball of light split into the colors of the rainbow. She giggled, reaching out to cup his hand in hers. It was the first non-artificial light she’d seen in months, the first rainbow she’d seen since… Paris, actually.

Well, even if she wouldn’t ever see the outside world again, at least she could still have this little fake sun. It was basically the same, just as good, she told herself. She ignored the tears rolling down her cheeks that were telling her otherwise.

~

She tossed the plastic spoon she’d stolen from one of her meals in the air idly.

The plan had been to turn it into Baby’s First Shank but that probably wasn’t going to work out. Pen to the throat was at about a .01% chance of working, attacking him with a spoon-knife needed a few more zeroes added to that already insanely small number. She gave it a .000000001% chance at best.

Then again, the other option was trying to strangle someone who had an insane height and weight advantage to death before someone else could interfere...

She sighed to herself and put the spoon in her teeth, starting to pull.

She didn’t get very far before she heard the metallic whoosh of the door opening and she barely glanced up to see Dick.

He stared at her from the doorway, his eyebrows slowly raising as he watched her attempt to bite an edge into a spoon of all things.

She pulled it from her mouth with a ‘pop’.

“I think your eyebrows are trying to escape,” she told him.

He blinked at her before rolling his eyes and walking inside fully. “Thanks for the assist. Would have lost them otherwise,” he said sarcastically.

“I’ve seen you lose your phone three minutes after putting it down, Dickie, I wouldn’t put it past you.”

He gasped and rested a hand over her heart. “You think that low of me?”

“Lower. I was being nice.”

Dick pouted and walked over to the bed. She didn’t think much of it until he was diving onto her stomach. She put her hands out in an attempt to soften the blow, but it wasn’t enough to save her. She groaned in pain as his extremely hard head made contact with her not-so-hard stomach.

“FUCK. This is why your parents called you Dick, y’know!”

He only laughed at her.

Despite herself, she gave him a smile.

She rested her head back in the pillows for a moment (mostly just to catch all the breath she’d lost) before pushing him off. “Ready?”

He groaned into her comforter before rolling onto the floor. “‘Kay.”

Marinette grinned as she took a seat beside him, starting her usual stretches. He pushed himself up to sit with minimal groaning and started working on his shoulders.

It was quiet for a while as they stretched.

Marinette bit the inside of her cheek and kept her eyes on her foot when she spoke next: “Dick?”

She could feel his gaze on her.

“I… can I have some more stuff? Everything here is so boring. I just… I want new things to do. Or, at least, new things to look at.”

There was a long silence between them. Anxiety bubbled under her skin. She switched legs so she could gauge his expression through her bangs. His expression was carefully neutral.

She cringed.

“Obviously I’m not ungrateful! You guys have all been really nice and accommodating! I get food and a phone and, honestly, that’s fine --!”

“Mari!”

Her mouth snapped closed.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize. Anyone would be bored here. I can talk to them. It’ll probably depend on what you want.”

She finally looked at him properly, eyes wide. She really hadn’t been expecting that to work.

He slowly pulled his legs to him to sit criss-cross applesauce, head resting on his hand. “I can probably get some baking things, a sketchbook, just blunt objects in general. Deadly, but not before someone could get there.”

Marinette nodded her understanding, a smile making its way across her face.

“You’re the best.”

“You constantly say Duke and Cass are the best.”

She was torn between agreeing with herself and flattering him. Since she wanted something, she decided on flattery: “That was, like, a few hours ago. I’ve grown since then. You’re my favorite now, Dickie.”

“Can I get that as my ringtone?”

“Only if you only use it to mess with Jay.”

“Deal.”

They shook on it.

~

The door whoosed open and she barely moved her head to look at it.

She froze.

Bruce?

No. No way. There was no way in hell.

But was there? Cass HAD stopped coming. Maybe she had somehow convinced them that everything was working out and everything was fine.

Marinette hadn’t done anything differently, though, so that probably wasn’t it…

Oh. Oh shit.

Maybe she was actually going insane. Because there was no way the bats would have made that kind of mistake by letting Bruce in when she was still intent on murdering him. He had to be a hallucination, because nothing else really made sense. Kwami, Tim was going to be SO smug about this one.

Actually, no, he didn’t have to know.

Her gaze slipped away from Fake Bruce and back to the dots on her ceiling. Because, as everyone knows, that if you don’t acknowledge hallucinations they go away…

“Marinette,” Fake Bruce said, trying to trick her into outing herself as losing it.

“Marinette,” he tried again, starting his way over.

She did her best to ignore the footsteps and the way the bed shifted when he sat down. No wonder schizophrenics fell for this shit, this was all so real…

Except... weren’t schizophrenics not supposed to be able to tell what was real and what wasn’t? Wouldn’t her knowing (thinking?) he was fake be an indication that he was actually real? Or was that just her mind trying to justify believing it?

Marinette bit inside of her cheek and let herself look at Fake Bruce again.

He cracked a smile for her. A hand reached over and pushed some hair away from her face. “Hey,” he said.

She hesitated.

It would suck if this all was fake, the others would get confirmation and she really wouldn’t have a way out. But if it was real then this was her only shot. If it was real Cass would be watching the cameras to see what she was thinking and she would know for sure that Marinette was still intent on killing Bruce…

Fuck.

Marinette pushed herself into a sitting position and looked Maybe-Bruce up and down before grabbing him by the front of his suit and pulling him into a hug. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes when he hugged her back.

“Fake.”

The man tensed underneath her and then sighed as he pulled back.

He gave her an awkward smile. “I’m sorry, Marinette.”

She shook her head slightly and fell back. With a flick of her wrists the knife she’d created out of her plastic spoon was in her hands and she absently tossed it at the hallucination. Either it would make him disappear or it would look like it stabbed him and she could pretend that it actually happened.

But then it didn’t do either of those things.

Her eyebrows knit together when the spife shattered upon impact.

He looked unconcerned as he gently swept all the pieces into his hand and then put them in his pockets.

“The fuck?”

“Language,” he chided lightly.

She grinned. “You really need to work on your ‘Bruce’. Accepting a hug that quickly is one thing but chiding someone for language? In OUR family? I’m pretty sure he gave that up by Jason.”

The man chuckled and shook his head. “I’m Superman.”

“Oh.” She blinked a few times before shrugging to herself. “Okay. You look just like Bruce. It’s kinda creepy.”

“Yeah, trust me, we know. It’s pretty helpful, though. One time a person tried to assassinate Bruce and ended up fighting me. It wasn’t their day.”

She smiled a little, but it didn’t last very long. She fell back in her pillows and glared at the ceiling. “This sucks.”

“I’m sorry this all happened to you. You’re just a kid.”

She rolled her eyes. She’d long-since given up on denying that something had happened to her. Not because she no longer believed it, but because it wasn’t worth the effort. No one ever believed her when she said it.

(Could she blame them? No. She almost believed it herself just a few moments before. Still annoying, though.)

Instead of saying any of that, though, she brought a grin to her face.

“You and B should switch houses for April Fools. See if anyone notices anything.”

~

She really should have noticed something was up when her coffee didn’t energize her at all.

It had all been going fine. She was making Jason dispose of all the pieces of food she’d used sleight of hand to get away with not eating (she was still a little bitter about him stealing her pen and this was the most she could really do to get back at him, compromised as she was). They made idle conversation, mostly just about how Damian had got himself a new pet cat that he had named BatCat (though, apparently, they had heard him slip up and call him Charles a few times). They debated over how good that name was and the merit of Jason’s suggestion -- BatPussy, of course -- as she drank her third cup of coffee of the day.

It was about halfway through her drink that she began to notice that something was off. She squinted at Jason suspiciously.

“Decaf?” She asked, her voice worryingly sweet.

He raised his eyebrows and tried to look unimpressed despite stepping back a good half-step. “Please, if it was decaf classical conditioning still would’ve made it work at least a little.”

She opened her mouth to retort, then realized he was right. Or, at least, she was pretty sure. She couldn't seem to think of anything against it.

She frowned, looking down at her drink again and swirling the contents around. She drank the rest of it, trying to figure out why exactly it wasn’t working.

Was she already at the point where caffeine had little effect on her again? She didn’t think she was that bad yet… hell, she probably couldn’t be because she was depending on others to give her her fix…

She shook her head slightly and then quickly realized that was a bad idea. Pain stabbed through her skull and she stumbled into Jason. The plastic thermos slipped from her fingertips and went rolling across the floor. Her head crashed into his chest and arms were quick to wrap around her.

“You got shitty coffee, try a different place next time,” she murmured, closing her eyes.

He laughed a little. “Yeah, okay, kid. I’ll be sure to do that.”

She nodded as much as her headache would allow and felt the arms around her slip down to pick her up. She blinked her eyes open blearily and regretted it when the light attempted to murder her via knife to the head.

Heh. Little light particles with little knives.

Wait.

Did she get a concussion? Somehow? Without getting hit?

She buried her face in his shoulder and it was then, as he set her in bed and tucked her in, that she realized what had happened.

“Bitch,” she murmured above whatever drug they had put in her drink.

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and she could do little more than scrunch up her nose and vaguely wave him off. Her eyes fell closed again.

~

Marinette woke up a while later.

The first thing she noticed was that the lights were dimmer, something she didn’t have to open her eyes to see because her head wasn’t pounding as much.

Then she realized a person was with her. They had entwined themselves around her, tangled their limbs with hers. They needn’t have bothered, everything felt like lead. She wouldn’t be moving for quite some time.

… why was she being held down? Oh no. That was probably bad, huh?

Marinette made a sound in the back of her throat and started trying to shift away from the person pressed against her back. She needed to see who they were. They didn’t bother to tighten their hold on her, she wasn’t really getting anywhere.

In fact, a hand stopped holding her down. Instead, it came up to pet her hair.

Oh? This was nice.

A voice by her head told her it was all okay. After a moment she realized she recognized that voice. She smiled sleepily. Cass. She liked Cass. She pressed closer to her and was rewarded with a hand rubbing up and down one of her arms.

She nearly fell asleep again. Cass was safe, Marinette was safe… the warmth against her and the soothing touch… of course, it certainly helped that the drug was still in her system and she was exhausted...

But then her mind wandered back to her first question. Why WAS Cass holding her down? Why did they drug her in the first place?

She moved so her hair could block some of the light and then cautiously cracked her eyes open.

The batboys were all moving things inside almost silently. Jason was carrying an entire fridge on his own. Dick and Damian were arguing over the positioning of the table they had just brought in through angry hand motions. Tim and Duke were working together on… was that a gaming set?

And she was being held down because the door was wide open.

Marinette looked at the doorway for just a moment longer. She allowed herself to imagine getting out and swinging through the city with her lasso, allowed herself to pretend she could lay in the grass, allowed herself to believe that she could see the sun and the stars and just breathe fresh air again…

And then she closed her eyes and sunk into Cass’s grip.

What was the point in trying? Even if she could somehow beat out all six of the people in the room with her and get past whatever security Bruce had to have outside of the room all while drugged… then what? No money or idea where she was… and she’d be running from the bats of all people…

Yeah. Useless. She curled up and allowed sleep to take her again.

~

Quite a while later she woke up and blinked a few times when she realized she wasn’t the only person in bed. At first she thought it was just Cass or Tim, they were the most likely culprits, but then she realized everyone had managed to cram themselves onto the bed with her. Her and Cass had gotten brushed to the side of the bed to make space for Tim, Dick, and Damian. Jason had collapsed across the end of the bed -- presumably for space, but Duke was laying half on top of him so that obviously hadn’t worked out.

Marinette smiled faintly and buried her face back into the crook of Tim’s neck.

~

When she woke up again, most of the drug flushed from her system (somehow…?), she thought she was alone.

This was fine. She was able to stretch out and sit up.

She blinked when she saw Damian, who was sitting on her floor and playing a video game.

Huh? Video game?

She looked around her room confusedly. The bats had basically made her a one-room apartment, complete with kitchenette and a tiny study area. Of course, it was much higher quality than the apartment she’d had, with a high tech gaming system and a little dining area and holy shit that was a MINI LIBRARY?

Wild.

“You’re finally up.”

She hummed lightly as an agreement. She crawled over to the end of the bed and smiled when he handed her a twizzler. It was objectively one of the worst candies, but she liked having something to do. She twirled it in her hand idly.

“Do you think… do you think it’s working?”

She frowned confusedly and dropped off the bed to sit beside him on the second beanbag chair. She chanced a quick glance in his direction to gauge how he was feeling... his expression didn’t let anything on other than that he was thinking hard, though she was pretty sure that was about the game.

“Gonna elaborate on that?”

He clicked his tongue. “Are you going to join the Undead Robins Club?”

She grinned at him. “I wasn’t a Robin.”

“You know what I mean.”

Her smile disappeared a little and she trained her eyes on the game. “I don’t know.”

“You know we never will know for sure, right?”

She blinked. She hadn’t expected anyone to acknowledge it. They were the bats, they were never going to chance taking off her glasses because if they were wrong and she WASN’T better… well, it wasn’t the kind of mistake they could easily come back from.

“Yeah, I know,” she said after a few moments.

“Do you care?”

“Doesn't really matter if I do. It won’t change anything.”

He frowned. “That’s not answering my question.”

She bit her cheek. “I… yes. I care. It still doesn’t matter.”

He looked like he was going to argue, but instead he just went back to playing the game.

“Damiiiiiiiii…” she whined and, when he gave a vague grunt to show he was paying attention, she continued with “... shouldn’t I get to play first? It’s mine.”

“You slept in too long,” he said without looking up.

She huffed. “Only ‘cause I was drugged!”

“Unfortunate.”

She got off the beanbag chair and whacked him over the head with it. He barely acknowledged it outside of an annoyed click of his tongue.

She huffed and pulled the chair back to herself to sit again. “Is it two player?”

“Nope.”

“You’re a bitch.”

He clicked his tongue again.

She pouted for a little while longer before looking back at the screen with a smile. “... heard you got a cat named Charles. Wanna talk about him?”

Damian’s face lit up. “Can I?”

“Only if you let me play.”

He looked pained. If he gave it to her then he’d be giving her something she’d want, which was a sibling no-no, but if he didn’t then she probably wouldn’t listen to him gush about his cat. A few moments went by before he reluctantly handed over the controller.

She beamed and scooted her chair over to rest her head on his shoulder. She could feel him stiffen underneath her but, when she didn’t move again outside of what was necessary to play the game, he relaxed again.

“I thought you were going to listen,” he chided lightly when she didn’t take a break between levels.

“I can listen and play.”

Damian sighed a little and shook his head.

“You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want --.”

“I’m getting to it! So, he’s a black cat that apparently hadn’t been adopted because everyone thought he was evil so the pet store was going --.”

~

Marinette noticed something was up the minute the door opened.

First of all, it was Duke and Damian. That’s all that really needs to be said. Those two together… it’s never a good thing.

Secondly, they were there as Signal and Robin. Most of the time the others avoided even talking about their lives as vigilantes for fear of setting her off in one way or another, but here they were showing up in their suits? No, something weird was going on.

“Hey, Mari, can we skip a fight and you just put a bag over your head and let us pick you up?” Tried Duke.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “You want to…? Huh?”

“We don’t really have much time to explain. I’ll tell you on the way.”

Damian held up a potato sack and some twine, which really wasn’t all that encouraging.

She hesitated. “... what’s something only you two would know?”

“Really?” Said Damian with more than a little exasperation.

“Hey, we’re all bats here. I’m not moving until you prove you’re who you say you are.”

(Technically, if they were really Duke and Damian, they could fight her and do it anyways. She probably couldn't beat both of them at once. Still, that kind of fight would hurt all of them and she really didn’t want to have to do it at the moment.)

Duke hesitated before shrugging. “Your favorite ice cream flavor is mint. Which I don’t understand. Just brush your teeth if you like that taste so much.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Alright, you’re who you say you are. Robin?”

“… early on I lied and said that Nightwing’s real hero name was actually BatNightwing to mess with you both.”

She frowned. “I forgot about that. You’re a dick.”

“No, Nightwing’s a Dick. He’s a Damian.”

Marinette was THIS CLOSE to fighting them anyways.

But she didn’t. She was kinda curious about where all this was going. So, she allowed them to bind her hands and slip a bag over her head. Arms wrapped around her -- she didn’t really care who it was -- and she was lifted off the ground. Then, they were walking.

Part of her wondered if this was some kind of test. They were checking to see how compliant she was or how likely she would be to run once outside. Maybe they had Superman on call in case she tried to escape.

She really couldn’t tell.

She didn’t think that they had any reason to take her out of the perfectly safe and well-stocked place they had put her in.

Maybe her location had been compromised and they were moving her to a backup? No, that didn’t make sense. Duke made sense for transport, Damian didn’t. Damian was one of the worst fighters in the family (he was in no way BAD at fighting, of course, it was just a byproduct of being in the game the shortest amount of time and not being a meta) and he was the second most likely person to end up fighting her after Jason. What the fuck?

Wait, Duke said he’d explain on the way.

“What’s going on?”

“New idea on how to bring you back,” said Duke simply.

Well, she guessed that was more information than she’d previously had. She’d take it for now.

She heard a quiet whooshing noise and frowned confusedly, only to feel herself get set down… somewhere. She felt carpeting underneath her, which meant she was in… a house? No. A car, she thought as she noticed the quiet hum of an engine. She’d been put in the fucking trunk. She kicked out as much as she could without knowing exactly where they were and gave a cry of protest, but then the lid was clicked over her head and she was thrown into uncomfortably complete silence.

She scowled to herself. She shouldn’t have thrown her spife at Superman, it would have been really useful right then. She tested the bindings against her hands and winced at how tight they were. Did they really use zip ties? Those were notoriously bad for circulation.

… oh. Yeah. She was dead. That actually wasn’t that bad, then.

Still annoying. Hard to get out of. Assholes. She wondered if it was worth dislocating her arms…

Yeah. Probably. If she could get out then she would be OUT.

She flipped herself onto her stomach. She pulled her feet up to her arms and then started pushing back. Her body strained in protest and she bit down on the front of the bag over her head to stop herself from making any sounds.

And then she felt a pop in her left shoulder and a flare of pain and the makeshift gag wasn’t enough to hold back her sobs. Her arm throbbed and it was only made worse when they reached the city proper and the roads started getting choppy. Every little bump in the road sent a new wave of pain rolling through her and all she could do was ride it out.

They started hitting smoother roads what felt like hours later... it was kind of concerning because she had no clue where they could be, those were uncommon in Gotham, but at least she no longer felt like she was going to die every few seconds.

She took a few seconds to bring her breathing back to normal before she started slowly wiggling her arms out under her butt and legs and then they were in front of her. Great. She picked herself up as much as she could in the tiny space, checked her angle mentally, relaxed her muscles, and then dropped down on her shoulder to get it back in place.

She breathed out a sigh of relief. It felt weird and still kind of hurt but at least it was mostly better.

She pulled the bag off of her head and relished in the slightly fresher air.

She looked down at the zip ties on her wrists and she sighed a little. Time to do that hack that looked stupid but actually worked if the kidnappers were stupid enough to leave you alone.

She brought her feet up, untied the laces of her shoes, and tied them back around the ties. Then she set to work trying to saw at the zip tie.

She paused when she heard the low rumbling of a plane. Were they near an airport? Oh. That was going to be a problem. She went faster.

Unfortunately, Marinette didn’t get very far before there was a click and the trunk opened.

She cried out in pain at the sudden light and squeezed her eyes shut, turning to press her face into the carpeted interior.

Hands grabbed her and pulled her out of the trunk. Before she could do much to look around so she could get her bearings and make herself a portal, the bag was forced over her head again and a strong grip on her arm (the good one, thankfully) kept her from pulling it off again. Then someone knelt in front of her and fixed her shoelaces.

“Really, NightMare?” Duke said, unimpressed.

“In my defense, I was left unsupervised.”

Damian scoffed.

Someone picked her up again and she sighed as they carried her along. They were definitely at an airport. She could hear people milling about. She was sure it was Gotham, too; she could feel a few stares, but most people seemed comfortable with the vigilantes among them.

Then came the normal airport stuff. Walking. Some arguing over whether she counted as luggage or if she could go through the metal detector with them. Sitting. A little chatting with civilians. More walking. More sitting. Very light chatter, just formalities and asking for drinks (Duke, who she figured out was the person carrying her, slipped a box of orange juice up her bag so she could have something). And then they were in the air.

After some time in the air the bag and zip ties were removed. She kept her eyes closed to let them adjust to light naturally and instead focused on rubbing feeling back into her hands.

One English alphabet later, she opened her eyes.

They were in a private plane (or was it a jet?), which explained why it was as quiet as it was. Damian was drinking a glass of water and reading something on his phone. Duke was nibbling at some complimentary pretzels and working a Rubix Cube. They both glanced in her direction from time to time, but they seemed pretty confident that she couldn’t do anything while they were in the air (which was true, but annoying).

She looked around a little more and found that there were no other bats.

“Um… where’re…?” She trailed off, unsure.

They stopped glancing in her direction, ignoring her and her question. The frown that had been on her face since pretty much when they’d first taken her from the room deepened.

“Do they… do they know what’s going on?”

The silence spoke volumes.

She rested her head in her hand. “I’m going to need something stronger than a juice box for this.”

Duke sighed but called a friendly looking woman inside to get her some wine. Marinette and Duke sipped at a glass each (Damian wasn’t allowed any, something Marinette took a little too much joy in). She scrutinized the two over the rim of her glass.

“Are you going to explain or let me guess? Because letting me guess is going to end up with me assuming you’re doing something way worse than you actually are.”

Damian sighed a little. “It’s hard to explain.”

“We’re in a plane. I’m going to guess we have time. Start talking.”

“We drugged them all -- except Orphan, she’s just out doing patrols and won’t know what’s going on for a good few hours -- and grabbed you.”

Duke gave Damian a pleading look to make him continue for them.

Damian, reluctantly, put down his phone to talk. “Signal and I have an idea on how to bring you back from the dead. The others won’t like it, especially not Red Hood, so we’re making the executive decision to not ask.”

Marinette didn’t know a lot about when Jason had been resurrected, it was a sensitive subject so it was avoided pretty much at all costs. All she’d gathered was that it was a rather messy experience for everyone involved.

She rested her head on her hand and then looked back down at her drink. She snatched the bottle from the table and, when Duke protested, set him a glare and started drinking directly from it. They were actually going to bring her back through probably shady means. She was NOT drunk enough for this shit.

~

She got stuffed in a suitcase when they left, which was extremely insulting (and a little embarrassing, if she were honest).

She rested her head against the side of the suitcase and listened to the dull thrum of people talking on the other side. She vaguely recognized the language, both Nino and Damian both spoke it when frustrated, but the words were all Greek to her.

Well, they were all Arabic, but you get the point.

~

She didn’t even realize she had been asleep until she was awoken. Rather abruptly. The zipper for the suitcase was opened and she tumbled out. Marinette cursed in French as she hit the ground and laid there, her entire body aching from not moving for so long. She hadn’t known her face could get pins and needles, she wished she could go back to her blissful ignorance.

“Are you sure about this? You want to save her?” A woman’s voice said above her, sounding a little skeptical.

Marinette forced herself to roll over so she could glare at whoever it was, she knew when she was being insulted, and then she blinked up at the new person.

A tall woman with dark skin and hair and a body to die for stood above her, hands on her hips.

“Holy shit, Dami. You got terrible genes. She’s gorgeous and you’re… you? What?”

Duke hid laughter behind his hand and Damian scoffed.

Amusement flickered behind Talia’s ‘I could kill you before you could even scream’ expression. “I’ve changed my mind. I like her.”

“Cool,” said Marinette as she quickly pushed herself to her feet. Her body wasn’t ready for that, but that was the least of her concerns. The pretty lady was ushering her along and Marinette wasn’t going to hold her up if she could help it.

“How did you die?” Talia said, which was an interesting choice for conversation.

Marinette shrugged, though, unconcerned. “I don’t know, really, there wasn’t this ‘oh, wow, I’m dead’ moment. My guess is I either drowned in acid or died of dehydration at some point. Does it change anything or…?”

“No. Just curious.”

“Oh. Good.”

“... do you not know why you’re here?” Asked Talia carefully after a moment’s contemplation.

Marinette shook her head. “Nah, they’ve been avoiding telling me. I assume it’s painful.”

“... yes. Very.”

The four lapsed into silence after that.

Marinette felt weirdly on edge as they walked through the facility, her hands rubbing the goosebumps that were prickling along her arms. The further they walked, the more on edge she felt. They were approaching something unnatural, something so undeniably WRONG, and she needed to GO.

But Damian and Duke were behind her, probably sensing her unease, and running ahead would only get her there faster… so she walked.

She bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to ground herself.

But, the moment they stepped into the room, she froze.

Green water. That apparently hurts.

Acid.

“FUCK.”

Duke was ready for her to run, apparently, stood in front of the only exit and ready for a fight before she could even get a full step away from the hell that awaited her.

“No no no no no no wait it’s fine I actually don’t mind being dead it’s fine guys please --.”

Damian grabbed her arms and she choked out a sob,

“Damian god damn it I was kidding about the mom thing you’re perfectly attractive or whatever I promise I really didn’t think it would hurt you that much we don’t need to do this let’s tALK IT OUT --!”

“It’s not about that --!”

Duke managed to get a hold on one of her legs and lifted and all she had to struggle against either of them was a foot and she was SO fucked --.

“PLEASE DUKE PLEASE I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I PROMISE I CAN BE BETTER YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GO I’LL BE FINE WE CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT PLEASE --.”

Talia grabbed her last leg and she sobbed as she thrashed around uselessly. They started dragging her towards the acid. Nothing to do no way to run no help in sight no --.

“PLEASE! I PROMISE I’LL BE BETTER PLEASE JUST LET ME GO!”

And they did. They let her go and she fell into the acid.

[moriavis]

Bloodlines Coldflash AU with Meta!Len for the wip thing please 😍

OKAY! So, I started this story as a coldflash big bang last year, I think? Only I realized I wasn't going to finish it in time and had to tap out.

I was a teenager when Bloodlines and all the associated tie-ins and new metas were released, and I thought it was the coolest freaking thing. (I now realize that the story itself is really kind of dumb and so edgy~ but i had very little taste when I was a teenager, and only marginally more now.)

I'm always looking for a new way to make Len a meta that isn't boring and that I haven't already done a thousand times, so I was like... what if a post!Oculus, resurrected Leonard Snart had the bad luck to meet this alien, and get his powers when he survives the attack?? Which, you know, hopefully ends up with him working with Barry and team Flash, and maybe even the Justice League, because that's my favorite. ^^;;

Here's an excerpt!

"Since taking you to a hospital seemed like a bad idea," --Barry snorted behind her--"I took a sample from you. Barry matched--"

"I'm O neg," Barry blurted out, darting back to Leonard's bedside like he was too anxious to let Caitlin finish speaking. "I had Caitlin do a lumbar puncture on me to see if we were a match, and we were. So we're hoping that the Speed Force might be present in the transfusion of blood and cerebrospinal fluid we gave you, and you might heal faster than you would on your own."

Caitlin shot an affectionate, bemused look at Barry and nodded. "What he said."

Leonard swallowed; his throat was as parched as a desert, but he still managed to croak, "Guess...I can't argue...about having...good inside me...anymore."

"Oh my god." Caitlin raised her eyes to the ceiling as if something could give her an answer to life, the universe and everything. Barry just laughed.

"Sounds like you're getting better already, if the first thing out of your mouth is wordplay." Barry was grinning, but something in his eyes was darker, vulnerable in a way that Leonard wasn't prepared for.

He closed his eyes, focusing on the most important details. He was attacked. He survived. He owed Team Flash. Just another Tuesday.

~*~

[bbugyu]

finding something to do + kim mingyu

you had spent your better years bored with mingyu, and he thought holding your hand felt like holding his fleeting youth.

wc.4088 | almost smut, mostly fluff, friends to lovers/uni au, fem reader, that one trope where there is mutual pining but both of them think the other is gay, maybe like half an ounce of angst if you squint Really Hard, lots o swears

i usually make my fics hella neutral as far as gender and size and orientation goes but hahahaha this ones for the average sized bi girls! also just realized that i stopped using capitalization in my fics and yk what? im fine with it. this fic is based off of the song of the same name by hellogoodbye.

*

“stop honking, other people live here.”

mingyu grinned at you through the half-open passenger window, leaning over to pop open the door. the handle had never recovered from a giant cup of soda crashing into the side of his ride in the middle of a particularly rowdy summer shenanigan, the sticky substance soaking into the mechanics before he had gotten the chance to hose it down in a friend's driveway at 2am. now, you had to wait for him to open it from the inside on all future shenanigans, and you could only roll the window down half way, lest you have to laugh at mingyu aggressively pulling on the window between his palms as you pulled on the motorized switch to coerce it back into the closed position. you slid into the co-pilot seat and looked over to your best friend.

"if you answered your texts i wouldn't have to honk."

you rolled your eyes, tugging on the seatbelt. "go, gyu."

he laughed and shifted into drive, turning up his stereo as he pulled away from your apartment building, hand returning to the stick to shift up a gear. "thanks for coming."

"what else was i gonna do?" you slipped the slides off your socked feet and pulled your legs to sit cross-legged. "i finished rewatching avatar."

"study, maybe?"

you looked at him. he was right, finals were right around the corner, but you had an uncharacteristically light load this quarter (due to you not realizing you needed approval for one course before registration and it filling before you could sign up) and you weren't too worried about the three tests you would have to take in a couple weeks. "could say the same to you."

mingyu let out another laugh, suddenly singing along to the song as he ran a hand through his hair. you smiled at his profile, then pulled out your phone to update your instagram story. as you moved the camera over to mingyu from the streetlight-lit road ahead of you, he laughed midway through a lyric and practically yelled "mwoya" at you, gripping the wheel with both hands and jumping in his seat. 

you laughed hysterically, frantically saving the video before pointing the screen at him. he turned down the music to watch it, eyes flickering between your phone and the road. he laughed at the way it cut off on both of you screaming. "what was that?"

you giggled, swiping through filters. "you being dumb."

"you love me."

"you're right."

mingyu smiled at that, adjusting the stereo volume again, bobbing his head to the rhythm as he drove to the one convenience store in your town that sold his favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream, a mission he had called upon you for at 11:30pm. when it switched over to a song you knew, mingyu noticed your subconscious humming to the tune and a few lyrics falling out of your lips, the wind from the open window whipping through your hair.

by the time you reached a small parking lot across town, you had yawned probably half a dozen times.

"tired?" mingyu pouted as he rolled up the windows and unbuckled his seatbelt. "sorry for dragging you out."

you shook your head, following suit and pulling yourself out of the car. "i slept too late, i think. i'll be fine."

you followed mingyu across the quiet street to the convenience store the two of you frequented perhaps too often, finding yourself there after late night study sessions or mid-barhop for ramen, snacks, and most importantly, the mint choco ice cream bar of mingyu's affections.

after perusing the options as if you hadn't been there earlier in the week, you picked out an ice cream bar as well as a couple bags of chips. you walked up behind mingyu at the register as he was pulling out his wallet.

"i'll pay if you come over and play smash," he said, nodding at your hands full of snacks.

you eyed him. "what's the catch?"

"you can't be mad when i play meta knight."

you groaned, but put your things on the counter for the cashier that was likely the same age as you both to scan. "fine. i'll still beat you."

mingyu grinned at you, and you snagged your ice cream bar off the counter as he paid, the other snacks getting put in a plastic bag. you grabbed the bag and held it open as mingyu retrieved his own ice cream, both of you peeling them open as you exited the convenience store.

"mm," you let out, mouth full of ice cream as you leaned against the metal bar meant to lock up bikes on the sidewalk. "it's nice out tonight."

mingyu agreed, biting into his treat. "it's refreshing but not too cold."

you nodded, watching cars pass on the street. "i can't believe it's almost summer already."

"me neither," he said, squatting in front of you as he ate. "we're gonna be seniors next year."

you groaned. "have you decided if you're doing summer quarter?"

he shook his head. "i decided against it. i only really have to take one extra course next year so it didn't feel worth it."

you nodded, looking down at him. he was looking to his left, absentmindedly watching someone walk their dog across the street.

after the ice cream was finished and you threw away your wrappers, mingyu cursed slightly at the fact that he still managed to get his finger sticky despite doing his best to avoid meltage. after he popped open your door, he dug in the glovebox for some wet naps, playfully knocking your knees aside as you tried to sit. you laughed, waiting for him to be done so you could put the bag of snacks on the floor in front of you.

when you met mingyu sophomore year, your hair was shorter and he was blonde. he had sat next to you in your shared ecology lab and promptly fell asleep before the class had even started, and you had to nudge him awake when the professor was handing out the syllabus. 

"gah, fuck, i'm up," he waved a massive hand in your face, blinking away his sleep before focusing on you with furrowed brows. "you're not seokmin."

seokmin was his roommate, you learned, and also met a few weeks later when you went over to their dorm to work on assignments together. they've since upgraded to a compact but efficient three bedroom apartment and acquired another roommate. you stared out the window into the night sky as mingyu drove to said apartment, blinking heavily at the lure of a nap. you pulled your knees up to your chest and tried to listen to the song playing from the stereo.

only moments later, mingyu glanced over and noticed that your eyes had fluttered shut, your head lolling against the window. he wondered, staring at you in awe, how much longer he could pretend he wasn't in love with you.

when you and mingyu had first gotten to know each other, you admittedly had a bit of a crush on him, until you found out he had a boyfriend. even after they split almost four months later, and you had been there to bring him chicken and beer while he fumbled with the drawstrings of his sweatpants and rubbed his swollen eyes with the back of his hand, you decidedly resigned any feelings for him, knowing it was a lost cause for you to pine after a guy that didn't even like girls. hell, you barely even liked boys - you had gone on dates with six different girls, yet not a single guy since you came to university, and mingyu had sat on your bed while you tried to get ready, giving a concise "try again" when you showed him an oversized sweatshirt.

"why not this?" you asked, groaning.

"you have good proportions, bitch. show 'em off."

rolling your eyes, you rooted around in your closet for something less shapeless. your style had always skewed a little athletic, a little hip-hop. you bought mostly mens fit shirts, making the task slightly more difficult. you found a nice pair of high waisted jeans you hadn't worn in a while and paired it with a drop shoulder tee and a turtleneck, finally getting the approval of your best friend.

all of the facts laid in front of him led mingyu to believe you were completely and utterly gay, and even if you weren't, your taste in women suggested he was the exact opposite of your type. you liked petite girls. girls with long hair and that wore skirts and lots of rings. the kind of girls that you had to lean down to kiss. 

so he continued to try out the pool of eligible bachelors in your area that were within a respectable age range. he had even tried to date some girls, but every time they tried to suggest the dates go further, he would think of the way his best friend's fingers had sent electricity through his entire body just by brushing an eyelash off his lip, or how you would trace the veins that ran through his wrist as you watched a movie together on your couch. the way your touch set his skin on fire. the way he wished he could just admit the way he felt about you. 

he always smiled and said he'd call them sometime. he never did. it wasn't fair to them, but neither was him only ever asking them out because they reminded him of you somehow.

guys were easier, he thought. they didn't remind him of you.

mingyu was so caught up in the sight of you sleeping that he absolutely ran a red. he cursed under his breath when he realized the light he was passing under had been yellow for longer than he had thought, thinking how lucky he was that the cross street was empty. good thing he was almost home.

"hey, sleepyhead," he said when you stretched suddenly as he pulled into his parking spot. "do you wanna go home?"

you shook your head, yawning. "no, i need to eat chips."

he laughed and killed the engine. "you left a pair of house shorts here and you can borrow a shirt," he said, suggesting you crash in his bed when you got too tired for smash.

"what, you don't wanna carry me home?"

mingyu slammed the car door shut and shoved his hand in his pocket. "i'd rather not, no."

you stretched again, a hand reaching out to ruffle his dark hair as he tried to punch in the door code for you to enter his building. "mean."

he laughed at you again, leading you up the three flights of stairs to his apartment.

"hey, minghao," you said, waving at the shadowy figure that was seemingly melting into the couch, illuminated by the tv.

he raised a hand in acknowledgment, sitting with his neck at a 90 degree angle, a movie with subtitles on, and his phone face down on his chest. "yo."

"wanna play smash?" mingyu asked.

"no thanks."

mingyu dropped his keys on the kitchen counter. "we're playing smash."

"you're funny."

you laughed, and mingyu pouted. "please, myungho?"

minghao finally looked at his roommate. "i'm watching annihilation. the switch is handheld for a reason."

you watched mingyu roll his eyes with a smirk on your lips. he went over to the switch dock by the tv and grabbed the console, sticking his tongue out at hao. you giggled, following mingyu down the short hall to his room as minghao waved you both off.

"have i said that i like hao a lot?"

"yes," mingyu said. "like, every time you come over."

you smiled, throwing open his dresser and carding through the shirts that would surely be massive on you. "well i do."

the switch got tossed onto his bed and he sneaked around you to grab a pair of sweatpants from the drawer above the one you were looking in. he also pulled out the pair of shorts you had left, putting them on top of the dresser. "i'm getting naked now."

you shook your head lightly, knowing he was only changing his pants, but kept your back to him out of respect anyways. you picked up the shorts. "did you wash these?"

"yeah, i threw 'em in with my laundry last week."

you nodded, spotting the color you had been looking for. "aha!" you pulled on the ashy gray shirt, revealing one of your favorite things you had ever convinced mingyu to buy. an extremely soft, lightly distressed shirt with a tasteful rip along the neckline. "i'm getting naked now."

"clear," mingyu said, letting you know he wasn't looking as he flopped onto his bed, propping up the switch on his bedside table and setting up the controllers.

you pulled off your loose sweatshirt and swapped it for the borrowed shirt, then shoved the denim shorts down your legs, laughing lightly at how your sleep shorts completely disappeared under the shirt. you turned around, stretching out your arms to show how large the shirt was on you. "look."

mingyu rolled onto his back and propped himself on an elbow to look at you, giggling as you swam in his shirt. outwardly, he smiled, but internally, he thought this was simultaneously the worst and best idea he had ever had.

you looked absolutely stunning in his clothes, he thought, but only said that you were cute. he ignored the familiar feeling in his stomach and handed you a controller as you crawled onto his bed, settling on your stomach next to him.

he had to stop putting himself in this position. you were far too pretty for him to forget his feelings towards you.

but maybe that's what he wanted. maybe he didn't want to forget his feelings. maybe the few times you had told him his dates were attractive weren't just objective reassurances. maybe he held onto the sliver of hope that you could possibly be attracted to him, too.

you slammed your face into the bed as the game loaded. "why are all switch load times utter ass?"

mingyu adjusted so that he was laying on his side with an arm propping him up and flicked the back of your head. "because the console can fit in my palm."

your hand went up to swat at the culprit of the flick, and you pouted as you lifted your head to look at him. "that's not fair, your hands are huge." you wiggled onto your elbows to grab his wrist, pressing your palms together. "see?"

mingyu laughed, feeling his cheeks heat up. "well, you have baby hands, so." he punctuated his point by curling his finger over yours. you pouted again, then slipped your fingers between his, thinking about how nice his warm hand felt over yours.

you blinked, then pulled your hand away and grabbed the joycon as the game finally loaded the skippable intro, hoping you weren't blushing too much as you cleared your throat. mingyu stared at your pink cheeks for a moment, his mind reeling. was he seeing something that wasn't there? or was his hope in you validated?

you were clicking through the menu and felt his eyes on you, and all you wanted to do was hide behind your hair and avoid eye contact. you nearly jumped when mingyu cleared his throat.

"hey, i have something i've been meaning to ask you."

your eyes met his briefly. "shoot."

"do you…" mingyu paused, trying to think of the right way to phrase his question. "i know you have exes that are guys, but is that something you're, like… still into?"

your ears burned and you wiggled until you could sit back on your own legs, fiddling with the hem of the shirt you stole and hesitating to make eye contact. "you mean, being with guys?"

"yeah," he said, watching you intently with his brows furrowed.

"yeah, i mean, i guess?" you shrugged. "i like both."

mingyu nodded slowly, watching your eyes as they stared at the wall across his small room. your cheeks were a rosy pink, and you were chewing on your lip. "me too."

you looked at him finally, your eyes wide. "what?"

he gave you a crooked smile. "i like guys and girls, too."

if you were blushing before, now you were blazing. "oh, my god, i'm an idiot."

he laughed. "what, did you think i was, like, totally gay?"

"shut up," you threw yourself down onto his bed, hiding your face in the blanket. in your defense, he had definitely called himself gay before, but you definitely called yourself gay constantly, so maybe you shouldn't put so much weight in those words. "shut up, i'm embarrassed. i don't want to talk about it."

hearing mingyu laugh next to you made you feel like you were on fire, then you felt the ghosting of fingers on your arm. you froze. mingyu's voice was soft when he spoke again. "do you wanna talk about how i have a massive crush on you?"

you slowly raised your head to look at him, cheeks burning red. he gave you a small smile before you choked out a "huh?"

"i ran a red earlier," he said suddenly, his fingers moving from your arm to absentmindedly brush your hair out of your face, then to your shoulder, then back. it was a reassuring touch, one you had felt from him before, but you still were caught off guard by his sudden succession of confessions. "you were sleeping and i couldn't stop looking at you. i totally could have crashed the car."

"dude, what the fuck." you stared at him, then lowered your voice to imitate him. "'hey i have a crush on you and i almost killed us both because of it.' that's you, that's what you sound like right now."

mingyu laughed in your face and you couldn't help the chuckle that fell out of your mouth. "sorry i almost killed us."

"i guess i can forgive you," you said, picking at your nails suddenly despite them being clean. "especially because i might have a crush on you, too."

mingyu kept staring at you with a fond smile, and you wondered if he could also hear how hard your heart was beating. "can i kiss you?"

you looked at him, trying not to stare at his lips. you nodded, almost hurriedly. his hand pulled against your back as you rolled your body to face him, and your hand reached out for his jaw as he pulled you into him. and when his lips crashed into yours, you yelped slightly, melting into him almost immediately. they were plush against yours, and he was gentle as he pushed your back onto the mattress, adjusting to hover over you slightly. when you let your head fall back onto the bed, he grinned at your blown out pupils and swollen lips, buzzing at the way your hands curled around around his neck, fingers digging into the hair at his nape. he adjusted again, a hand finding your waist as he pulled back to let you swing your leg across his lap. you pulled him back over you, enjoying the way his hips hit the back of your thighs as he caged you in with an elbow by your shoulder. you stared up at him, heart racing, eyes flicking down to his lips too many times for him to not take the hint.

mingyu had always enjoyed pleasing you. this definitely felt like the next natural progression.

he dove into you, and your arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. mingyu was a hugger, and he also liked wearing very little clothing when he worked out, so you knew what he looked like under the plain white tee. knew what he felt like. but suddenly - with his hands slipping under what was technically his shirt to properly feel your waist, with how his tongue fought with yours - you really felt him for the first time. the way his shoulder muscles rippled just beneath the skin as he adjusted, clearly trying to not make his growing bulge so obvious. you considered the fact that you might get to see how much leg day really benefited, considering how much he posted about it with sweaty post-workout pictures on his story.

mingyu felt your thighs squeeze around his hips, pulling back slightly. "is this okay?"

"is it?" you responded, a hand pulling back to fall on his jaw. "i've wanted you for ages."

he laughed lightly. "god, we're idiots."

you had no time to respond before he was kissing you again, his hips rolling into yours, pulling a surprised moan from you. he ate it up, his fingers gripping your waist tighter at the sound. you felt his girth as it pressed against you, and you gasped. when was the last time you had been with a guy? high school?

when mingyu's teeth bit down on your lip, you were really glad he was the guy you were unconsciously waiting for.

he tugged on your hips as he rolled onto his back, pulling you to straddle his lap. you giggled slightly, settling back into the open mouthed kisses as he ran his hands from your ass up your back, slipping under the sports bra you were wearing.

then there was a knock. you yelped, burying your face in his shoulder as you heard the door swing open. "make room for king k r- oh shit!"

you laughed into mingyu's neck as he yelled for seokmin to get the hell out, his hands tugging the hem of the stolen shirt over your butt in an attempt to shield it from view. you heard him squeak out an "i'm sorry!" as the door shut again.

"i'll kill him."

you exhaled, the laughter still on your lips as you looked at his profile from where your cheek pressed against his shoulder. "bet he thinks we're secretly dating."

mingyu laughed, scratching an eyebrow before returning his palm to your ass. "not a secret now."

"oh, so we're dating now?"

mingyu craned his neck to look at you. "is that not what was going to happen?"

you giggled, sitting up and putting your hands on his chest. you adjusted your knees, fully aware of how the movement would rub you against his still hard bulge. "we have both fucked people without dating them afterwards, kim mingyu."

"ah," he said, digging his fingers into your soft ass and rutting into you gently, making you gasp. "we're gonna fuck? i thought we were just joking."

you slapped his chest, giggling still as you rolled your hips. "if you don't wanna, i could ask hao-"

"oh, shut up," he said, pulling you down to kiss him. "if you liked myungho like that you would have tried it ages ago."

you smiled, your thumb running over his adams apple as you placed gentle kisses on his jaw. "sweetie, are we jealous?"

"i don't deserve this, you know?" mingyu pulled your hips against him again, a low grunt tumbling from his beautiful mouth. "i haven't put my dick in a girl since i met you and now i'm with you and you're talking about my roommate? this seems extremely mean."

you giggled again, then placed your lips on his again. he instantly kissed you back, one hand leaving your ass to go to the back of your neck. "you're the only guy i ever think about," you whispered, getting repeatedly interrupted by mingyu's needy lips on yours.

the wolf-like grin that broke onto his face sent chills down your spine. "let's keep it that way."

*

seokmin's hand was still on the doorknob, his wide eyes blinking, when minghao paused his movie and sat up to poke his head out and look down the hall. "the hell was that?"

he puffed out his cheeks as he walked back into the living room, his palms clapping gently. "i thought you said y/n came over to play smash?"

minghao's eyebrow quirked up. "she did."

the eldest sat on the couch. "i thought mingyu was gay?"

"what?" minghao looked down the hall again. "wait, what? were they-" he stopped when he heard a muffled groan that was far too familiar.

seokmin grabbed the remote and pressed play, scratching his cheek as he turned up the volume. "what are we watching? catch me up."

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

One Thought, Only Video Game. (That still hasn’t announced its early release date plox I just wanna play please :cry:)

I guess while I’m sulking I can continue the reread or something. 

[No. 15 - Vs.]

So we’re back at the yacht with the crew, the boat still being surrounded by villains who have yet to approach. Mineta is freaking out about Izuku’s plan from last chapter to fight the villains in the water, saying that Izuku’s contradicting himself after implying that the villains are strong enough to kill All Might. He then suggests their only hope is to hide until heroes show up to rescue them.

Honestly, I’ve seen a lot of Mineta hate in the fandom, and did participate in it more earlier on. But the more time I actually take a look at his character, the more I realize that he’s actually got some great potential as the straight man / reality ensues to the rest of the cast who play to their shounen setting more faithfully. If you just cut out most of the perversion and worked in more scenes of him commenting on the shounen setting in a semi-meta function (like not outright referencing comics or anything, just the ‘this is crazy!’ from a IRL view on shounen shenanigans), he could have been a lot of fun, maybe even played off of Aoyama or sommat. 

Alas, that is not what we got. But maybe, in the course of this reread, I can pick apart the stuff about Mineta that could make the base for a good character, and maybe I can eventually use those pieces to make a new Mineta, a likeable Mineta. That’d be a crowning point in my career to be sure.

But yeah, like, Mineta kind of has a point here from a non-shounen POV - 'If these guys are strong enough to fight the top hero and possibly kill them, then maybe we shouldn't try fighting them ourselves when we're newbies and just try and keep away until actual trained heroes show up.' Like, their specific situation makes it impossible even without envoking shounen stuff, but, strictly speaking, he’s not wrong here. 

Anyways, Izuku sort of completely glosses over Mineta’s panic, instead turning his attention to the villains and remarking that all of said villains are suited to aquatic combat. Mineta complains about Izuku ignoring him, but Tsuyu catches on to Izuku’s point - the ringleaders must have recruited their team knowing about the USJ’s different environments. Izuku determines that their intel had told them that much, but with how careful all their planning had been, one odd point sticks out - they warped Tsuyu into the flood zone.

There’s a moment of silence between the three before Tsuyu tells Izuku to take his time, and Mineta just demands Izuku’s point. Izuku exhales and apologizes, then clarifies his point - the villains must not know about the class’ quirks! Tsuyu has a moment of surprise as the manga briefly flashes back to Tsuyu’s comment in the classroom about being at home in a flood. Tsuyu concedes his point - if they’d known about her frog powers, they’d have dumped her into the fire zone.

Izuku determines that because the villains didn’t know about their quirks, the strategy to handling them became ‘scatter and overwhelm them with numbers.’ Mineta’s shown sweating in fear as Izuku continues - the villains have the three beat in numbers and experience, so there’s only one way to win - exploit the lack of knowledge about their quirks. He then points out how the villains not trying to get on board supports his theory, while then thinking to himself how that also means that the villains aren’t underestimating them.

Now we get some fun quirk talk! And Mineta being Mineta. Sigh.

Tsuyu’s quirk is pretty versatile! She can jump high, stick to walls, stretch her tongue up to twenty meters (and wield it like a prehensile limb, as we’ve seen already). She can also ‘spit up her stomach to clean it’, which was something debated in the NWA server for a bit before we determined that it meant that she can just throw up on command, not that she actually expels her stomach like a starfish or sommat. Finally, she can secrete a poisonous fluid, though ‘poison’ is a stretch when it really just stings a little.

Mineta gets hung up on the ‘secrete’ part (why), while Tsuyu notes the last two aren’t that useful, so just forget about them. Izuku notes that she’s strong and that he underestimated her. Izuku then explains a bit about his own quirk - mostly just ‘super strength but after I use it it messes me up, basically a double edged sword.’ Which, simple, but to the point.

Mineta silently pulls off one of his hair orb thingies and sticks it to the wall of the yacht, then explains that the balls are really sticky, and that if he’s feeling good, it’ll last all day. New ones grow in where the old ones were on his head, but if he pulls too many, he starts bleeding. They bounce off of his own body without sticking to him.

(I will give him credit here, the wording for his explanation for his quirk is not skeevy as it’s made out to be in the dub. For all we know from this, it could just mean ‘in good health’ or ‘in a generally positive headspace / mood,’ not… other stuff.)

Anyways, after four panels of silence, Mineta freaks out and repeats his statement that they have to wait to be rescued, and that his quirk is terrible for fighting multiple opponents. Izuku tries to calm him down, saying that it’s a great quirk, they just have to think of how to make use of it. 

The yacht gets attacked by one of the villains, water slamming up the middle and basically ripping a massive hole through the middle. The villain states he’s getting bored and ‘let’s finish this thing’, his arms reforming / part of the water. Tsuyu notes the villain is strong, and managed to split the boat in two, all while the three of them try to hold on to each other and keep from sliding down the now angled deck they’re on.

Mineta, in tears, does a but of a battle cry and starts tossing his quirk balls into the water below, all three students and all the villains watching on silently as said balls sploosh in. Mineta freaks out some more as he turns to Izuku and points out how nothing seemed to be accomplished, while Izuku is stressed that Mineta’s panic gave away his quirk to the enemy. Izuku then realizes that no, the villains are on guard now, trying to splash the balls away without touching them. A plan sparks in Izuku’s mind. Down below, that shark villain notes that the kids only have a minute before the boat sinks and they’re all chum.

Again, Mineta proving to be a surprisingly apt straight man to the other two. Why aren’t those two scared? They were just middle school kids not all that long ago, why are they in a life or death situation so soon? (And then he ruins it with being a pervert. Sigh.)

At the same time, Tsuyu kind of has a point as well. They all came to UA to be heroes, and the fact that they signed up for it and got in by fighting robots kind of weights those who get in more towards the side of people who are likely to see trouble and jump in rather than those who run away. So Mineta being entirely cowardly and wanting to run and hide sort of… belies his purpose being in the hero course at all.

And then of course the second half of this page, just as good as the first:

Another moment of Pro Hero Deku, Symbol of Hope shining through early Izuku’s nerves and doubts. You can see the moment Mineta realizes Izuku is just as scared as he is, but is acting in spite of it. Which will in short order inspire Mineta for his part of the plan to make their escape.

Another small thing that I really find interesting from this is the choice of quote Izuku pulls from All Might’s documentary - ‘The moment when the enemy thinks they’ve won represents your best chance.’ This is something that actually comes up several times going forward in the manga - most notably, All Might’s fight with AFO at Kamino, wherein he fakes having nothing left in order to make AFO’s guard drop, then uses all his strength to take AFO out in one shot.

I think, though, that this interview came before All Might’s first fight with AFO, since I doubt he had much time or interest in them after his injury. And in turn, I think this might be a small hint to All Might’s first fight with AFO, even if not intentional - I wouldn’t be surprised if AFO thought All Might was defeated after that blow to his stomach, but All Might managed to surprise him and take him out while he was overconfident in his victory.

Am I reading too much into random little things again? Probably! But it’s fun.

We get a little bit of a view from the villain’s side of things, with one villain commenting on the ‘little one’ whining and how the kids ar a bunch of babies. The villain who took out the boat, who seems to be the leader of their group, I guess? Says Shigaraki said not to get careless - it’s not their age that matters, but their quirks… and clearly the villain’s quirks have the advantage in the water.

And then we get Izuku enacting the plan. What’s the plan, you ask?

Do what Kacchan would do, of course.

One of the villains scoffs and determines Izuku’s just a dumb kid, and that as soon as he lands, they’ll gut him. Izuku, meanwhile, is thinking about how no matter how big a smash he pulls, the villains have them surrounded, so he can’t hit them all. He also determines that even if they make it out of the flood zone, there’s more villains to worry about, so he can’t afford to sacrifice a whole arm. As he starts falling towards the water, he has his fingers prepped with power and ready to flick, frantically muttering to himself to keep the egg from exploding. 

Back on the deck of the ship, Tsuyu is poised to leap, Mineta tucked under her arm. Mineta is internally stressed over how he saw Izuku shaking, he knows Izuku’s as scared as he is, so how??? Meanwhile, Izuku calls out his attack - a Delaware Smash - and, well.

RIP to that glove. And the Flood Zone. And his finger. 

The villains are all blasted away with the water, while Izuku swears over his busted finger before calling out to Tsuyu and Mineta. Tsuyu leaps from the deck, grabbing Izuku around the waist with her tongue as she soars past. We get a rather graphic up close shot of Izuku’s finger, bloodied and bent backwards from where it should be. Very graphic, what the fuck.

Mineta’s reaction to the sight is shock, followed by him shouting again and throwing a ton of his quirk balls into the water, all while thinking about how Izuku is always doing the coolest things. Mineta just keeps tossing them in among the villains as he notes that that’s all he can do in comparison. 

The water starts to get sucked back into the middle by gravity and the vacuum from the blast, dragging the villains and the quirk balls, with the latter sticking to the former, and in turn sticking the villains to each other. The villains freak out that the balls are sticking to them and can’t be removed, and then in being stuck together in one massive blob. 

As the villains are all sucked into the middle, Izuku explains that by delivering a strong shock to the water’s surface, it spread,s and once it rushes back into the center…

Tsuyu’s one-liner count: like ten at this point, IDK I haven’t been counting. She’s just taking every chance she gets and running with it.

And I love Tsuyu’s little ‘good job’ to the other two for their parts in the plan. What a great little moment to end the chapter on. See y’all next time on ‘Shigaraki continues to traumatize school kids.’

[writesology]

Celtic this is all your fault

Extras mentioned in AO3 will be below the cut! And regarding the whole weekly update thing, I tried my best to keep to it, I really did, but it was kinda too much pressure and I got easily burnt out, so hope ya'll don't mind me updating when I can ^u^

The cart mentioned in AO3 ^^^

“Dedede, get off the cart.”

“Aww, but why? Riding on these is always the best kind of fun!”

Meta Knight sighed, landing beside the king. “The Dees and I came here to help you gather supplies for the construction of the Buddy Tower, not to supervise you as you act like an utter fool.”

“Mety Knight! If I didn’t know ya as well as I did, I woulda said ya hate me!”

“I’m very close to hating you if you don’t get off right now, challenge to Kirby be damned. I can very well fight him on my own terms without your help.”

“Ooh, is the esteemed Meta Knight passin’ up a challenge? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Hmph. Come on, we need to find materials and we will not find them if you are lazing about on the cart.” The puff unfurled his wings and began to fly off.

The penguin smirked, grabbing onto the handles at the front and looking at his knight. “The way yer wordin’ yer sentences, it’s almost like yer not strong enough to pull this here cart with me on it.”

Meta Knight froze, his wings flapping slower as he landed again and turned to glare at the king. “What did you just say?”

“I’m jus’ sayin’, maybe ya don’t want me on the cart ‘cause yer not strong enough to-” Dedede’s sentence was cut off with the warrior’s paws gripping onto the handle of the cart and a fiery glare.

“I’ll show you just how strong I am.”

“Left, Meta! All the wood is on the left!” Dedede held onto his hat as the knight flew through the store at record speeds, the Dees holding to the king’s fluffy robe and clutching various materials that they’d picked up, their eyes sparkling with joy.

“Your wish is my command, my liege!” The cart and its riders skidded to the left- somehow not colliding into a single thing- and the king whooped as they flew past the paints. One of the Dees reached out, catching the handle on a bucket of yellow and pulling it onto the cart. Another Dee hooked onto some blue, and the Waddle Dee clinging to the penguin’s hat somehow managed to gather a bundle of paintbrushes.

“Right, Meta! Turn right!” A Cappy jumped out of the way just in time, a look of shock on their face as the knight, king, and Dees zoomed by on their cart.

Meta Knight briefly turned to face them, his wings flapping as quickly as they could. “I can see it! You all get ready!”

“Ya got it, caballerito!” Dedede crowed, the Dees around him chirping happily- some hanging onto their previously caught materials and others getting ready to grab onto the incoming wood. The planks passed by in less than a second, the knight’s Mach-speed flying almost blowing them straight off the shelves, but when they turned into a different aisle and the king looked back, there was a big pile of wooden planks with Dees hanging all over it, all of them trying to keep it from flying away.

“Have we got everything?” The warrior shouted, the cart hurtling down the aisle.

“Everythin’ but the tiles, an’ those are comin’ in tomorrow! Let’s go!”

“Right, the checkout is just around the corner! Get the Deden ready!” Dedede pulled a large bag of Deden out from his coat and grinned, shooting a thumbs up to the puff. “And… now!” The cashier, who had just finished helping another customer, yelped as the bag dropped onto the counter with a loud thump.

“Keep the change!” The king hollered as they barreled out the door, the cart and its riders quickly disappearing from sight.

“There,” Meta Knight said smugly, stopping the cart and gently landing on the hood of the penguin’s car. “Was that strong enough for you?”

“That was hella amazing, Meta! We shot through that store like no tomorrow! I’m so happy I’m doin’ this whole Buddy Tower thing with ya, yer so strong an’ cool! I bet the Dees loved what we just did. Ain’t that right, Dees?” The Waddle Dees cheered and nodded happily as they started loading the wood and paint onto the car.

“Well, I’m glad it was such an enjoyable ride for you all. As for me, I’m quite sure my wings will be sore for days to come. I haven’t flown that hard in years.”

Dedede smirked, leaning closer to his knight. “Sounds to me like you’re gettin’ older, Mety Knight.”

“If you still want to build this tower, I suggest you shut up before I go back in that store and tell the manager whose fault that joyride really was.”

“Hey, no need to be so harsh, caballerito! Ya know I’m jus’ messin’ with ya, an’ as thanks, I’ll serve ya ice cream in bed or somethin’.” The Dees squeaked with a job well done before the king could say anything else. “Looks like they’re done loadin’ everythin’, so if ya can watch the car for me, Meta-”

“Say no more. Hurry back, or we’ll drive off without you.” The penguin flicked his knight’s mask in retaliation, and got up to take the cart back. As he approached the front of the store, he was greeted by the manager, as well as the entire staff.

“Great King, not to sound rude, but what the heck was that?” The manager asked in disbelief.

Dedede raised an eyebrow, something that technically he can't do because he has no eyebrows; just take that as a metaphor. “Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess! Was there somethin' wrong with what me an' my precious knight did?”

“The thing wrong, Great King, is that you scared our entire staff and half the customers in the store with that… ride of yours! I appreciate your patronage and all, but I would like it much better if you were never to come back again. You and Meta Knight both.”

“So we’re bein’ banned?”

“In a word, yes.”

“Huh. Well, we do already have everythin’ we need, so that’s fine by me! Jus’ lemme return this here cart, an’-”

“No! Just… just leave it there and we’ll take care of the rest. Please, I insist.”

“Great! Thanks!” The king waved and walked back to the car with a wide grin. When he got there, Meta Knight was already sitting comfortably in shotgun, the fifty or so Dees they’d brought to help all huddled in the backseat.

“You have that grin on your face that tells me I should be prepared for something dumb,” the knight said, looking at the penguin’s face intently. “What happened?”

“Ok, so hypothetically, if I told ya we’d jus’ been banned from this here store for what we jus’ did, how would ya react?”

The warrior blinked in surprise, then groaned. “Why did I expect anything else…”

[luckykoneko]

@khoc-week​ I am VERY late to the party but I wanted to share some info about my Dawn Trio so I’m just gonna do one prompt for each day. Actual post is below the cut because of large images (thanks tumblr...)

1: Character Sheets. (all images made with Rinmaru’s Mega Anime Avatar Creator - can’t link to it because it used Flash so it doesn’t work anymore)

Name: Luciana (Lu for short) Gender: Female (she/her) Height: 185 cm Homeworld: Scala ad Caelum Weapon: Keyblade (Fairy Stars) Other info: Butch Lesbian, undisputed leader of the trio, dislikes swearing but can and will play the dirtiest cards in Cards Against Humanity

Name: Fye Gender: Nonbinary (they/she) Height: 166 cm Homeworld: Scala ad Caelum Weapon: Staff Other info: Specializes in Water and Ice magic. Literally unable to wield a Keyblade; they were bequeathed TWICE but still never managed to summon their own Keyblade. The most impulsive of the trio. They tend to act dumb or say stupid things, but they’re really quite smart, most of the time.

Name: Wolf Gender: Male (he/him) Height: 190 cm Homeworld: Unknown, met the other two in Traverse Town Weapon: Claymore and improvised weapons (yes, this does mean he has on at least one occasion yeeted a chair at a Heartless) Other info: He’s a Summoner, his favorite Summon is Ixion (an Aeon from FF10). He’s the voice of reason in the group and also the calmest and quietest of the bunch. He’s at least a few years older than Lu, but hasn’t told the others exactly how old he is.

2: Adventure

For these three, adventure means getting to experience new worlds together. Especially Fye is always excited to explore new places, but Lu is never far behind, leaving Wolf to catch up with them and keep them out of trouble. Their adventures are pretty tame most of the time, since they like to take it slow and explore each world at their own pace, but none of them shy away from tough battles. They always decide their next destination together, and if they can’t decide, they flip a coin or roll a die to decide.

3: What is most important to them?

Lu: Definitely her friends. She deeply cares about Fye and Wolf and would be willing to sacrifice herself if it meant saving them. She also misses her classmates a lot and often wonders how they’re doing.

Fye: Getting to experience new things! They get bored easily and love traveling around. They especially love worlds where they need to change their appearance to blend in (such as Atlantica or the Pridelands) because they love dressing up. Changing their appearance also lets them experiment with their gender presentation, so it’s a win-win for them.

Wolf: Knowledge. He’s always on the lookout for new information about every world he visits, and he loves putting his new knowledge to use. He’s determined to use his knowledge for the good of the worlds and the safety of his friends.

4: Alternate Universe

I imagine these are what animals they’d look like in Disney worlds where they’d have to change to animals. I literally came up with these on the spot, but I’d been planning to think about this for a while so it works out.

ATLANTICA (what tails would they have) Lu: Hourglass Dolphin Fye: Commerson’s Dolphin Wolf: Atlantic Spotted Dolphin

PRIDELANDS Lu: Black-Backed Jackal Fye: Caracal Wolf: African Wild Dog

ZOOTOPIA Lu: Maned Wolf Fye: Fennec Wolf: Eurasian Lynx (ironically he’s the only non-canine in this world)

BAMBI Lu: White-tailed Deer Fye: River Otter Wolf: Moose

Unfortunately I had no time to prepare art, otherwise I would’ve drawn at least their Pridelands forms and maybe some of the other ones.

5: What does your character do in their free time?

They hang out together! Wolf will usually read or work on some kind of jigsaw or 3d puzzle. Lu will work out a little and then take a nap, or if she has the opportunity she’ll bake something, usually muffins. Fye will sketch or convince Wolf to play some kind of board game with them.

6: Home (borrowed prompt from day 7 because none of the day 6 prompts worked for me)

Their childhood homes are very different from each other, but none of them would want to change anything if they could.

Lu: Grew up as the oldest of three siblings and had to help her mom raise her two younger sisters. Her dad was chronically ill and couldn’t work. Lu studied under Master Odin and finished her Mark of Mastery Exam one year before the events of Dark Road. By then her dad had passed away and her mom and sisters were getting back on their feet, so she helped them figure things out and then left Scala with Fye. Now, she considers her home to be with her friends

Fye: An only child and definitely the one with the best home situation. They were raised by their entire family (parents, two aunts, one uncle, and all four grandparents) and learned magic from their uncle and grandparents. Eventually they learned everything they could learn from their family and decided to leave, but waited for Lu to finish her studies so they could tag along with her. They consider home to be anywhere they feel comfortable, and they hate being alone.

Wolf: He keeps most of his past a secret, but has told the other two that his parents were divorced and he was raised by his dad. He eventually went his own way once he was old enough to move out. He doesn’t really have an idea of what home means to him now, but he thinks being around Lu and Fye is better than being alone, so that’s something.

7: What was your character creation process like?

I do love me some meta questions. I came up with these three on the same day, after I was messing with a name generator and looking for a name for a different character. Both Lu and Fye got their names from (variants on) names the generator gave me, while Wolf just showed up to complete the trio. Their appearances also came naturally once I started messing with the avatar creator, Lu probably gave me the most trouble at first but once I had her hairstyle down I figured the rest out pretty quickly.

Their personalities came naturally, especially once I figured out that Fye is the troublemaker of the bunch. Most of the information in this post is actually things I figured out on the spot while answering these questions, even though I’ve had these characters for well over a year now, since I mostly develop them in response to prompts.

I wanted Lu to be from Scala, but at the time I didn’t know how she would know the Dark Road characters, so I didn’t think about her backstory until much later. Eventually, I decided that she finished her Mark of Mastery a year before the events of Dark Road and doesn’t really know the DR characters, though she might’ve met or even tutored Baldr’s sister.

Fye was never supposed to have a Keyblade, but I figured that it’d be interesting if they were bequeathed but unable to wield one. I like to think that some people are better suited for wielding Keyblades than others, so I wanted to play with that idea. Canon is not on my side here but I don’t care!

Finally, Wolf is mostly just the kind of character I needed to balance the group. He is loosely based on various anime and game characters I like, but doesn’t inherit any specific traits from them, other than the whole “not talking about his past” thing. Whenever I come up with new headcanons for these characters, he mostly follows after the other two, though sometimes he’s the first I develop a headcanon for.

I could probably ramble about these three even longer if I gave the other prompts some more thought, but I think I’m going to stop here, this post is long enough as it is.

[spaceorphan18]

i really liked your s6 blaine meta! would you be willing to do something similar for season 5 episodes 14-20?

Hi Nonny! Sorry for the delay, this is kind of a huge undertaking.  I’m going to be honest, this will be more of an abridged answer.  I really recommend looking over to my Finding Kurt Hummel Meta, because a lot of Kurt and Blaine’s stories are intertwined, and I do talk a lot about Blaine and his motivations there.  That said, let’s dig in! 

Pre-New York Arc

So, as Blaine tells us when before he’s going to graduate, his senior year has been really hard and really weird.  He broke up with his boyfriend, dealt with a school shooting, suffered the loss of a good friend, and then got engaged.  (Y’all should check out my Glee Timeline to see just how squished all of this stuff really was.) By the time his tenure as a high school student is over, he’s desperate to fast forward to being a full fledged adult -- living out his dreams in New York City.  The problem is trying to force your dreams come true doesn’t always work, especially when a) you’re still a kid trying to figure things out and b) you still have a lot of insecurities and mental health issues to deal with.  

So Blaine (and Kurt) still have a lot of growing up to do.  And a lot of the New York Arc is figuring out just that.  

Let’s talk about the proposal for a second, too.  Blaine jumping to marriage is, yes, a bit pre-mature.  He’s was so desperate to get his relationship back on track with Kurt, and so wanting to prove his commitment, he jumped about fifteen other steps and went straight to what he would be the ultimate band-aide -- marriage.  Well, just because you’re married (or engaged) doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot of issues in your relationship.  Blaine and Kurt were too young for their engagement -- and not necessarily because of their age, but because they really hadn’t dealt with a lot of things the move to New York, the cheating, and the first break up did to their relationship.  However, Blaine wants to ignore a lot of the red flags because he feels since he has Kurt back, and put a ring on that finger, he should be fine, right?  His insecurities about Kurt not loving him or wanting to leave him should be squashed because -- ring.  Right??  Oh, Blainey. 

New New York

So, what we don’t see is the six-to-nine months of Kurt and Blaine living together.  Which is a shame.  Because we don’t see how it started, and how they probably were so head over heels wanting to live together and do all the fun things Burt listed off in his conversation with Kurt before the proposal in Love Love Love that they did not have any kind of conversation about how living together would ultimately work.  So, it’s nine months later, and things aren’t so rosey.  

Blaine is trying very hard to make them the old married couple he wants them to be (which is no shade on Blaine!).  He’s singing old timey songs, and basically trying to show his love through acts of servitude, and kind of trying to ignore the nagging feeling that Kurt’s unhappy about it.  

Blaine is a giver by nature, and wants to make Kurt happy, and he thinks if he can be the perfect boyfriend (because he wasn’t before, made a mistake, didn’t take into account that Kurt really was part of that issue, and blames himself for the relationship woes) that his relationship with Kurt will be fine.  The problem is that Blaine is losing himself in the relationship -- trying to be the person he thinks Kurt wants him to be, and the person his own imagination thinks he should be, instead of the person he really is.  

The other thing is that Blaine is a bit clingy.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your significant other.  But Blaine wants to spend every waking moment with Kurt so they can share their magical journey together.  You see -- in high school, they were joined at the hip, and did do a lot of things together.  But they also had a lot of time apart.  They both had groups of friends to do things with, and different households to go home to.  But now, all aspects of their life are jammed into that little loft.  And for Blaine, it’s fine, (though it’s not - he has to learn how to be an individual person, too), but Kurt is struggling with it. 

Here’s the part where I do need to bring up Blaine and his homelife.  Blaine being who he is - is somewhat just his personality.  But part of it is also his homelife.  We can infer that unlike the Hummel household, Blaine’s family wasn’t exactly ones to unconditionally supportive in the same way.  He always had to compete for attention (and possibly love) with Cooper.  He has always felt that no matter how ‘good’ he is -- he’s a failure.  And he is, by far, his own worst critic.  These are things that Kurt cannot fix for him, and while Kurt can continue to love and support him, Blaine himself has to reach a belief that he is a worthy individual of love, support, and happiness.  

Also, because Blaine is trying so hard to make life perfect for Kurt, he’s not being able to make his own experience uniquely his own.  He tries to find a cute couch -- but it’s rejected (rightfully because bed bugs, but still).  He tries to make himself a space in the loft, but Kurt shuts that down.  Everything is about how Kurt thinks and feels, and because Blaine’s giving in on these things, he starts to go inward on himself, and thus they fight over dumb things.  (Kurt needs to learn how to share and compromise, Blaine needs to learn to stand up for himself and his own wants and needs.)  

As an aside, Blaine isn’t really jealous of Elliott -- that’s a bit of displaced anger.  But going to Elliott does help (wise sage that he is), and while that convo is a little weird, there is some good advice in Elliott saying you have to figure out who you are, and maybe not be so clingy.  Boundaries are good and don’t lose yourself in the relationship. 

So, about their decision to live apart -- my Kurt meta had a good paragraph: 

I’d also like to mention that Kurt isn’t really thrilled with Blaine’s idea.  He doesn’t want Blaine to leave, but he recognizes that something has to change.  Unfortunately, they’re still young and growing and don’t have the tools or experience to figure out how to fix what’s wrong.  So - in a way, I get this solution.  Blaine doesn’t know how to give Kurt emotional space - so let’s try physical instead.  

Blaine wants to fix the situation, so it’s no surprise that Blaine is the one to comp up with the solution.  It’s not great (honestly, they should have moved out and found their own place but alas tv show logic), but it’ll have to work for now.  Blaine is more interested in salvaging his relationship the only way he can try to.  Unfortunately there are some other, bigger issues going on, but for now, they’ve come up with something that might help.  

Bash

It’s a shame we don’t get more Blaine during this episode, because I think it’s really important.  There’s a story here about the frustrations a gay couple can have when one of them is going through a major trauma, and the other can only sit and wait to see how it turns out -- adding in outside factors such as, hospitals not allowing the partner to visit because they aren’t legally “family”.  

So, one of Blaine’s biggest fears is losing Kurt.  And this time he does to an external power.  Blaine, who likes to control things just about as much as Kurt, feels like he should be able to protect Kurt no matter what, and comes out of this episode feeling like it’s his duty to do that.  

You see, Blaine doesn’t think he’ll survive very well if anything ever happened to Kurt, and kind of ignoring the fact that Kurt kinda jumped into the fight himself, Blaine decides that he’ll do everything in his power to ‘save’ him.  Problem is, that’s not at all what Kurt wants or needs....  Which will be discussed more in the next episode. 

Meanwhile, Blaine manages to piss off Carmen Tibideaux with he and Rachel’s little duet idea.  Not liking anyone mad at him, he does go retake the final (or whatever it is), and pours his own fears and sadness into the song.  I do kind of wonder if Blaine’s involvement in this is a slight nod that Blaine won’t be finishing his college career at NYADA.  (Which is fine - the school is utter shit.) 

Tested

Okay, god.  Here’s the Kurt Meta because this is one really complicated episode that I won’t do justice in the little blurb I’m going to write here.  There’s A LOT going on, and it’s helpful in understanding the story as a whole, and I do write about both their sides in the Kurt Meta. 

So, here we are -- Blaine is trying to make Kurt’s New York life and experience perfect, and he kind of ignores his own.  But, he is indulging himself (as young people in new places often do) and not taking care of his physical health either.  He does gain some weight (or Glee tries to suggest that he does), and this latches on to his insecurities from before.  

A lot of this episode’s issues comes down to identity --- Blaine saw himself as the White Knight in Shiny Armor -- the one who protected Kurt from Karofsky, and made him smile.  The one who was the prince who got to give the other prince the Happily Ever After.  The problem, though, is all of this is magical fairy tale talk that doesn’t work in the real world.  

Kurt isn’t a delicate flower who needs rescuing.  He is very physically fit, and is seen as attractive by other people.  And Kurt is trying to find his own, individual identity that isn’t solely connected to Blaine.  All of this activates Blaine’s major insecurity about being rejected -- about not being loved enough.  He doesn’t understand that he doesn’t have to be the person who another person needs for them to love him.  He can just be the person who someone wants.  But Blaine has a very hard time with this concept.  His value of himself is wrapped up in how much he thinks he’s needed, which of course, causes all the problems.  

What’s making it worse is that Blaine begins to manipulate the situation -- trying to make Kurt ‘need’ him again, which is very unhealthy (don’t do that guys!).  But also starts to do what he always does, and we see a repeat of the issues had back in season 3/4.  Blaine starts to pull away physically because he fears he’s not good enough, and in turn, Kurt pulls away emotionally, and it’s just a downward spiral that they keep doing.  

The thing that Blaine is not doing is expressing how he actually feels to Kurt.  When he finally does that at the end of the episode, when he reaches out and says ‘hey I need help’ Kurt is finally there for him.  (Yes, Kurt is still pissed, but at the end of the day, Kurt is not wrong about the fact that he’ll never stop loving blaine -- no matter what happens.)  The problem is, no matter how many times Kurt can say it, or even show it, until Blaine actually trusts him, it’s never going to work.  

As an aside -- one of the reasons I think the second break up actually was good for them, is that Blaine learns how to love himself, and live with himself, after Kurt’s gone.  He’s too attached to defining his self worth based on what Kurt thinks of him -- and that’s not healthy.

(Also, I encourage you to read the Tested Meta -- there is so much to dig into in this episode!) 

Opening Night

There really isn’t much Blaine in this episode - but we do see him use his acts of service love language towards Rachel.  Usually, she’s much better in her response, though.  

I also want to point out that it’s Blaine’s idea to go to the gay bar.  I’m all for Blaine starting to learn where his places in the city are.  Makes me wonder if Kurt and Blaine frequented there together, of this was a Blaine only thing.  Hmm.  

The Back-Up Plan

So... the June Dolloway stuff.  Okay.  

June plays to Blaine’s romantic ideals of what life as a successful performer would be.  And, as we’ve talked about, Blaine’s self worth is based on the idea of how much people need him (or want to use him).  So, he kind of falls into June’s trap, and lets her try to mould him into who she thinks he is.  The problem is, that entails getting rid of Kurt.  But a big part of who Blaine is - is loving Kurt.  

There’s also the issue of competition again (which came up in Tested, too) that I kind of roll my eyes at.  I’m not going to say that Hollywood, or the performing arts, isn’t competitive.  Because it is, in a lot of ways.  However, I feel like media and society are often the ones pushing that narrative.  You can be successful and still support your friends and love ones.  

There’s an entire conversation to be had about how art is subjective, and this idea that this painting is better than that one is just kind of stupid, so all of these fancy awards for things are really, often times, just rich or powerful people stating what they think is the “best” and puts a false equivalency on things that can���t or shouldn’t be pit next to each other.  

So, this whole idea that Blaine is ‘winning’ because June picked him is just -- whatever, Glee.  The thing that I do like, however, is the fact that, despite Kurt being disappointed in the situation, he is still supportive of Blaine and his career.  The thing that I think is a bit contrived is Blaine’s eagerness to please everyone leads him to lie to Kurt instead of be honest about what’s going on with June.  But alas, television. 

However, as we’ve talked about earlier -- Blaine’s ultimate goal is to make everyone happy at the expense of his own happiness, so it isn’t out of nowhere that Blaine would try to please June and Kurt at the same time, in an attempt to ‘fix’ everything before someone rejects him. 

Old Dogs, New Tricks

So... this episode really isn’t about Blaine or the Klaine issues at all.  Chris was perhaps wise (and maybe mandated a little) not to even get into it.  

The thing, though, we do see is that Blaine’s spending a lot of time on his fantasy career ideas with June.  He does recognize that Kurt isn’t really happy with life, and while the Klaine issues will eventually hit the fan, that’s not what this episode is about.  It’s about Kurt trying to find his own place, and make his own happiness, when everyone around him is becoming more successful.  It’s really not Blaine’s issue -- and I’m glad Chris didn’t make it out to be.  

Instead, Blaine plays the supportive partner here, and while they do need to work more of their shit out, I’m glad they do get a softer, and more emotionally aware moment here.  

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

So, Kurt mentions in this episode that he and Blaine have had some long conversations about their relationship.  And while I’m sure that’s true (probably a lot after Tested), I do have to wonder if Blaine wasn’t listening as well as he should have been.  I think, in order to preserve things, Blaine probably nodded along, and took more notes on how to be the world’s perfect boyfriend, while maybe not actually comprehending some of the issues Kurt laid out.  All the while, I’m guessing that Blaine didn’t express many of his wants or needs, in order to not rock the boat.  Unfortunately, all of this holding back, on both their parts, comes back to haunt them. 

The big lie comes out, that Kurt isn’t in the showcase, and this plays a lot on Kurt’s insecurities, partly about being a failed performer, and a lot about his trust issues with Blaine from the last time they broke up.  Blaine is the type of guy who tries to make everything perfect until he literally can’t anymore, and he’s left there being forced to tell the truth, even though he knows it’ll hurt himself and Kurt.  And while this, normally, would be a minor thing, because of their past history -- this self-imposed forced disappointment is what he expects.  Because he believes that sooner or later, he’s going to eventually disappoint everyone he loves, and they will eventually leave him.  

The thing is -- Blaine has a tendency to push people away, because he thinks that’s what he deserves.  But interestingly, Kurt comes back to him -- and they talk about it.  

And, I’m just gonna quote my Kurt Meta cause I don’t feel like writing it all out, but the Klaine scene here is important! 

So - yeah, let’s break this down…  Kurt’s pretty stiff when he comes to Blaine, arms crossed, looking forward out at the birds and not at Blaine.  He’s thought through is anger, but these kind of conversations are still hard for Kurt.  But then there’s Blaine – who outright says to him that the showcase doesn’t mean anything without Kurt – that /Kurt/ is more important to him than his career.  And Kurt visibly relaxes when he hears this.  Because its confirmation of something he does already know – that Blaine really does love him.  He seems to fuck it up, but he loves him.  And it’s something Kurt really did need to hear again.  

(Obviously vise versa needs to happen, too, but more on that in a second.)

So - Kurt goes on talking about birds, and builds this elaborate metaphor around them – about how taking a step out of the nest is freakin’ scary, but you can’t stay in that nest forever – at some point you have to trust that you can fly.  And even if you fall and hit the ground, you have to keep on trying.  

Well, Kurt comes to the smart conclusion that relationships are like his bird metaphor – you can’t have a relationship unless there is implicit trust there as a foundation.  And he’s learned, the hard way, that yeah, sometimes one of them is going to fuck up and they will hit the ground like a stone, but if you hold on to your faith that it’ll be all fine in the end – that you can help each other out keep that solid foundation, it’ll be okay.  Because at the end of the day, you can’t ever be 100% that someone won’t hurt you again, you can’t control anyone else but yourself (oohh and Kurt letting go of complete control is huge - HUGE).  

And yeah, yeah this little speech is nice and all but what about what’s about to happen? What about the second break up?  Do you guys remember in Dance With Somebody when Blaine says to Kurt - if you’re unhappy talk to me don’t cheat on em?  Well - this is almost the inverse of that.  Kurt says to Blaine that you don’t even know if or when someone’s going to break that trust – and this is true, because yeah, Kurt is going to fuck it up not that long after this conversation.  

But this is a resolution to the original issue back in season 4 – Kurt’s finally understanding that in order for this thing to work, he has to choose to trust Blaine.  Blaine can’t instill that in him – it’s something Kurt has to do for himself.  And for better or worse, he does choose to trust Blaine, to love Blaine, to let Blaine in implicitly.  Blaine has been desperately trying to break through Kurt’s shell since the whole cheating incident, get back into that place in Kurt’s heart.  But what Blaine doesn’t know - or realize - and what Kurt’s just figuring out himself, is that it’s not about Blaine’s ability – it’s about Kurt allowing it to happen.  

Kurt doesn’t let people into his world, past is exterior, implicitly into his heart – but on a smaller scale, this whole June ordeal kind of just puts things into perspective.  Yeah – he was mad about Blaine’s lie – but he realizes that the way Kurt was acting about it, he was going to be hurt either way.  And he can be mad and be angry, but at the end of the day, they all have choices to make, and Kurt makes the decision to still stand by Blaine through the hard stuff as well as the easy stuff.  

(But what about season 6? Well – we’ll talk about that when we get there ;))

I will say this – Kurt never breaks his promise about loving Blaine no matter what.  Even through the stupidity of the second breakup, it’s really not because he doesn’t love Blaine.  That’ll always be apart of him, and the more they go on, the more he understands his own heart will always feel that way.  

Meanwhile – Kurt actually can be (gasp) a loving and supportive partner.  Yeah, it’s hard on him to feel unwanted by June – he’s been fighting that fight since forever.  But he is proud of Blaine, wants Blaine to fly incredibly high – and much like way back when in season 3 with Tony – he’ll be there giving Blaine flowers and telling him how amazing he is.  Which is reassurance that Blaine needs, but doesn’t always get.  

(I realize that’s mostly Kurt’s POV - but it covers what’s going on with Blaine, too.)  

The thing though, while Kurt’s learning what it means to trust again, Blaine really just wants everything to be fine.  And gives in to Kurts wants and needs immediately.  The one problem, really, that’s still lingering is the fact that Blaine is still only defining himself through his relationship, and that’s not good, and is part of the reason Kurt’s going to pull away, and ultimately break up with him, the second time.  

But, we do end the season on a happy note.  Blaine, feeling the love and support from Kurt, is able to stand up to June, and is able to have a moment for himself, where he gets to express his true self, in the form of showing everyone his love for Kurt at the showcase.  We also get a moment of a small step forward when Kurt let’s Blaine have a bit of the loft -- a small space to call his own.  

Yes, ultimately it’s going to break down again, but it’s a first step.  By the end of the season, Blaine and Kurt have started to learn what being in a real, adult relationship is like, but ultimately, for Blaine, he needs to learn to be okay with himself first and foremost, and that is what Season 6 was about... 

If you’d like to continue on, here’s the Season 6 Blaine Meta! 

I know there are things I didn’t get into -- like Blaine’s relationship with Sam, but idk, I don’t think there was much to pick apart there.  

If you guys have any questions on specific things, let me know! :) 

[luxshine]

The Great Supernatural Rewatch - Devil’s Trap

I started writing this Supernatural Rewatch way back when I finished season 9, due to the constant arguments about how Sam was a perfect Saint while Dean was an abusive controlling brother, versus Sam as a horrible hypocritical monster who was a thorn on Saint Dean’s side. And while I do admit I have a bias for Dean, I wanted to know if my position was based on fact and numbers, or if I was just being blinded by the fact that Jensen acted Dean a lot more empathic than Jared acted Sam.

There was also my wish to point out how many times Sam has made non-apologies because man, he is a master at those.

At some point I lost the free time I had to rewatch and tally the episodes, and the series kept going and… it ended. And it ended with such a… controversial final three episodes, that I ended back in the fandom. And at first I thought, ok, I can finish this meta with Season 1, call it a good sample for the brother’s relationship, and that’s it.

I am not sure that’s a good point to end. I kind of want to keep going and while I don’t know WHEN I will finish it (Seriously, 15 seasons are A LOT people), at least I know that as long as there’s interest (and I mostly mean MY interest, to be fair… I don’t want to give you all false hopes), I will keep going.

Because MAN, it’s amazing how the writers managed to write a semi-coherent series when they kept forgetting continuiy from one episode to the next.

So without more ado, let’s dig into Devil’s Trap and finish the first Season of Supernatural, back when everyone were babies.

General stuff

Do you have any idea how weird it is to see a The Road so Far in the last episode of the season WITHOUT Carry On my Wayward Son? Because it is and now I have the theory that they didn’t plan at all for it to become the unofficial theme of the series despite the fact that, in hindsight, the lyrics represent the boys perfectly. Except for the whole “peace when you are done” thing that was done so badly. AHEM.

In any case, this time “The Road so Far” is literally “last episode edited in a weird way to make it look as if it had been a season wide arc and just in case a week was enough for you to forget everything that happened”. I checked. There are no scenes from any other episode. So with the already established idea that we’re getting a season-wide summary, now it seems as if John had been with them since the beginning.

And now I do wonder if certain parts of the fandom only remember said Roads so Far because it would explain some things.

Anyway, we start where we left off: Sam furious at Dean because his brother didn’t let him do a kamikaze run into a house on fire, and Dean calling his father’s phone to get the call answered by a very angry Meg.

And here? Oh boy, we start with a lot of baggage for just a minute or so of story. Literally. Because the SECOND Dean realizes that the demons have their dad, he goes into strategy mood. Yes, Dean, the brother the writers insist is the dumb muscle, the one who can’t lead, the one who only knows how to follow orders. It is really frustrating to hear those lines parroted when we have this dialogue:

Dean: They’ve got Dad.

Sam: Meg? What’d she say?

Dean: I just told you, Sammy. Okay. Okay.

Dean takes the Colt and tucks it into the back of his jeans.

Sam: What are you doing, Dean?

Dean : We got to go.

Sam: Why?

Dean: Because the demon knows we’re in Salvation, all right. It knows we got the Colt. It’s got Dad – it’s probably coming for us next.

Sam: Good. We’ve still got three bullets left. Let it come.

Dean: Listen, tough guy, we’re not ready, okay? We don’t know how many of them are out there. Now, we’re no good to anybody dead. We’re leaving.... now!

I am not counting this as Dean forcing Sam to do something because it’s a logical thing to do, btw. If roles were reversed, it wouldn’t be Sam forcing Dean to do something.

Anyway, just to be impressed: While Sam, the “logical” brother who left hunting because he thought getting revenge over his dead mother was stupid (remember the Pilot? The writers don’t! ) is ready to kill himself in a western showdown with the demon as “they still have three bullets” while Dean is already making a plan. It’s not a very good plan as far as we know as it’s basically “We’ve got to run as we have no idea what’s coming”, but it’s better than “let’s stay and hope it’s only three demons”.

And the timing is also interesting: Dean has, so far, been willing to listen to Sam’s ideas in every episode. Most of the time, as we’ve seen, has let Sam plan the things. Same with John. Second John arrives, Dean takes a backseat and lets them work out the details. HOWEVER, the instant his family is in REAL danger of dying, when it’s obvious that their plans were the ones who got them there and Dean is about to lose the only people in the world he thinks give a crap about him? (Because we’ve established that Dean cares a lot about other people, and other people care for Dean even if he doesn’t believe it, even in season 1), then he’s not going to stand for their foolishness and rashness. Then it’s time to put everything he has learned (and later, much later, we’ll learn that hunting alone Dean ended up being better than his father), and make sure everyone gets out alive.

And Sam is not going to stand for that.

Well, he is, since next scene they’re driving out of dodge on the Impala, but Sam is giving us Bitchface #1 (It wasn’t that present back in season 1, it wasn’t until later when it would become Sam’s stereotypical response to anything he disliked), and he insist that they could’ve taken the Demons and that it’s most probable that John is dead.

Once again, we see the contrast between the brothers, and it’s a weird mirror to the conflict through the whole series that in theory shouldn’t work, because it is literally contradicting everything the narrative has told us about Dean and Sam for 21 episodes, but it works thanks to Jensen and Jared’s acting. I know in other meta I’ve been critical of Jared’s acting in future seasons, but here? He’s top notch.

Because we have Sam insisting that they have to keep going, try to kill the demon and “finish the job” because “it’s what Dad would’ve wanted” (Which is, except for the past tense, exactly what Dean told Sam back in Wendigo), while Dean literally says “Screw the job” and “We can’t do this alone, we need help.”

And it can’t be considered “Character growth” because for Sam it would be going backwards, and for Dean… well, it would be if it wasn’t because through the whole series he has been more interested in saving people, which is exactly what he is doing here. Finding a way to save their dad, no matter what, and revenge can take a back seat.

We also keep seeing how fast thinking he is, as at this point he already has a plan to exchange the Colt for their father, even if Sam thinks the demons have already killed John, and figure out their location by going to Lincon first.

But when Sam points out the demons may not have left any signs or clues, Dean, whom I may remind you has been painted by the script and writers as the controlling older brother who manipulates Sam and forces him to hunt, listens to Sam and agrees. They need help.

And here we get introduced to one of the mainstays of the series until season 7: Singer Auto Salvage, and Bobby Singer, Jim Beaver himself.

I could write at least other 10,000 words on why Bobby is SO important to the Supernatural Mythos, a figure akin to Joe Dawson in Highlander, to Giles in Buffy, and probably the one character that 90% of the fandom loves even if he had a couple of missteps in seasons 4 and 6. But right now is not the time to do so.

So we meet Bobby, who is immediately presented to us as a sort of opposite of Missouri, speaking about old friends of the family who are into hunting. Because Missouri obviously only tolerated Dean, and was still in good terms with John, while Bobby is introduced to us by offering Dean a drink, automatically putting him on Dean’s side, so to speak, and his relationship with John was… well, weird.

Dean: Bobby, thanks. Thanks for everything. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure we should come.

Bobby: Nonsense. Your Daddy needs help.

Dean: Well, yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything.

Bobby: Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.

And truer words were never said in Supernatural Season 1. Because even if the worst of John was yet to come, about half the fandom was already agreeing with Bobby at this time.

We never find out, at least not in the series’ canon (I’ve written about what is canon, what is secondary canon), why Bobby and John had this particular conflict. Later on, fandom has decided that it was something to do with Bobby absolutely disagreeing on how John raised his kids, and to be fair, it’s the most probable reason given how much Bobby loves the Winchester’s boys and how little time he has later on to say good things about John. But here? It seems he still has some love to lose for the Winchester patriarch. Or so much for the brothers that he’s willing to forgive and forget.

Also, in what I think is another great example of old Supernatural establishing shots, we get how AMAZING Bobby is as a hunter. I mean, yes, in the future Dean and Sam will be legends, but Bobby Singer? Bobby Singer was THE Hunter. Not only his house is full with books full of lore that the guys had NEVER seen (Books that we can assume not even the Men of Letters had, given how… lackluster the Men of Letters were in the past, as we learn in season 8), but also, given that we have literally no time between Sam looking at the Key of Solomon and Meg coming bursting in, and by then Dean and Bobby ALREADY had the plan to catch her, AND the Devil Trap we see is not painted but BURNT into the ceiling? It means that Bobby HAD that Devil Trap before the brother’s came in.

It means that either he already had it despite the fact that he knew of no more than 5 demon possessions a year, except for the last one when they spiked, or the SECOND he heard that two of John Winchester’s old contacts were killed, probably by a demon? He had his house protected ENOUGH so that he could trap and interrogate a Demon should any come knocking.

Seriously, Boy Scouts have NOTHING on Bobby Singer, Hunter Extraordinaire.

And of course, that’s why he had to be fighting with John. Because if he hadn’t then we’d be questioning why the hell the brothers didn’t go to him earlier in the series as seriously, this man is amazing.

Ahem. Sorry. I get very vocal about Bobby Singer, especially early seasons Bobby Singer.

In any case, Meg comes bursting in, and while she ignores Dean at first, by telekinetically throwing him towards some books, and threatens Sam asking for the Gun, this is all part of the Brother’s plan to lure her under the Devil’s Trap.

Which, btw, is a bit weird also because I already established how we know that the trap HAD to be there BEFORE the brothers came in, but Sam seemed to be JUST finding out about it when he saw the book so either he didn’t pay attention to the plan and just stumbled into doing his part by accident (Which once again make us wonder why the writers keep doing this thing where Sam looks as uninterested in anything not related to him), or the only reason for him to ask if the circles work while READING THE BOOK instead of looking up or being, I dunno, finishing painting the trap itself, is… kinda bad writing.

I swear, I love Supernatural, but when I start picking at it, it unravels like one of my knitting projects.

And NOW we get the title card and I am in page five of this Meta so we know this is going to be long and painful.

With Meg trapped and tied, Dean goes right into interrogating her to figure out where they are keeping John. At first, he’s calm and collected, but then Meg touches a very, very sore point for Dean.

Dean: Where’s our father, Meg? 

Meg: You didn’t ask very nice.

Dean: Where’s our father, bitch?

Meg: Jeez. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait, I forgot, you don’t.

And then, and only THEN, Dean hits her.

Which is really interesting, as Meg is the second person in the show to weaponize Mary’s memory against Dean… and the first was SAM.

Now. This is not to say that Sam is as bad as a demon –although this episode in particular ends up with a lot of parallels on how Dean’s family doesn’t treat him as nicely as some demons do- but as a very interesting parallel that the writers either tried to make or stumbled on by accident by squaring Sam DIRECTLY with the Hell side in the narrative, and thus, opening the door to Sam trying to be better, trying not to be a demon. Or at least they would if Sam had any reaction to that that wasn’t “Oh, I am confused”.

Sigh, writers. You had such a nice raw material to make a more interesting story arc for Sam than the usual Chosen One trip and you totally wasted it.

In any case, as Dean gets a bit more vicious with Meg and claims she’s not a girl, Bobby finally interferes and gives us THE line that will bring the fandom a TON of headaches later regarding meatsuits, vessels, consent and metaphors for sexual abuse that sometimes ARE metaphors for sexual abuse and sometimes aren’t because the writers weren’t thinking.

Bobby: Dean, you got to be careful with her. Don’t hurt her.

Dean: Why?

Bobby: Because she really is a girl, that’s why.

Sam: What are you talking about?

Bobby: She’s possessed. That’s a human possessed by a demon. Can’t you tell?

Now. This brings us TWO problems. One that is the aforementioned ton of headaches because no one in fandom agrees as to WHAT the writers were trying to portray with demon possessions and that in season 3 ended up with the heroes of the story becoming literal serial killers because they stopped caring for the humans being possessed because… well, reasons, I guess. But that is a continuous issue that we will discuss every time it changes so it’s not the one I want to talk about.

The SECOND problem is that Bobby IMPLIES that there are demons walking around that DON’T possess people. Because “that’s a human possessed by a demon” alone could be just establishing the rules of the world, and that’s ok since this is only the second time we have a demon standing next to the Winchesters (I still miss bungee jumping demon), but the next question “Can’t you tell?” is… problematic to say the least.

Because if he was trying to remind them that all demons on earth are possessing humans, as it will be in the future, Bobby SHOULD have said “Remember?” or “Didn’t your Dad teach you anything?” or something like that. But he says “CAN’T YOU TELL?”. Which implies a) there are demons who don’t need to possess people to walk on earth, and b) that they’re hard to distinguish from normal humans but not impossible to, as Bobby CAN tell.

And we NEVER, EVER mention that again, which is a thorn on my side as the whole meat suit/vessel thing introduced a lot of issues in the narrative by season 4 and here they had the solution to it all: To have SOME Demons and Angels possess people, and OTHERs, in particular the ones they wanted to redeem or keep in the good side, NOT need that.

But again, that’s for the future and for now, I will just tally it as a frigging dropped plot point that was about both brothers.

This is also the first time in the series where we see Dean hit a human-looking woman and the anger and rawness of the moment shocks even Sam. It’s quite noticeable, the way he and Bobby look at Dean as he is ready to keep hitting Meg, but also because it takes Meg mentioning their mother Mary to make him cross that line.

Yep, even this early on we know that you do not use Mary as an emotional weapon against Dean Winchester.

In any case, Dean takes this to be good news and immediately changes his plans, because again, the “dumb muscle” is the one who gets all the strategy.

They start exorcising Meg, trying to make her confess where the demons have John. This is a very raw scene, that puts Dean as the interrogator while Sam reads the exorcism stopping only to allow Dean to ask questions. The only time Sam interrupts is when he asks about Azazael despite Dean not caring about him at the time, and when Bobby points out that, should they exorcise the demon, they’re literally killing the girl inside as she would not have survived her fall in Shadow.

And boy, this is again a scene that could’ve been considered foreshadowing if I really believed in the “five year plan” myth because at some point, as Meg insist John was dead, Dean utters this chilling threat:

Dean: For your sake, I hope you’re lying. Cause if it’s true, I swear to God, I will march into hell myself and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of bitches, so help me God!

The way Jensen delivered the line? If I had been Meg, I’d consider telling my bosses to change our plans about the Seals because it is clear he means it. Had they found John dead? No demon would’ve been spared Dean Winchester’s wrath.

I have to also give the proper credit to Nicki Aycox, Meg V 1.0. I know the fandom adores Rachel Miner, and don’t get me wrong, I do too, but Nicki made me not only fear Meg as an adversary, she also made Meg “Meg” in this scene. She is evil, manipulative and self serving. She holds out as long as she can, and then tries to play the heartstrings of the brothers, just to stay topside. She is magnificent, and as much as I love Rachel, I do wonder what would’ve been if Nicki had been called to reprise her role.

Once Dean is satisfied that he has the truth, he tells Sam to finish the exorcism, but Sam wants to keep the demon trapped to interrogate her about Yellow Eyes. It’s here when Bobby mentions that the girl, the human girl, is only alive thanks to the demon, and thus the exorcism would kill her, and here we get again to how moral Dean Winchester is, and how complicated as a hero he is to the audience.

Bobby: You said she fell from a building. That girl’s body is broken. The only thing keeping her alive is that demon inside. You exorcise it – that girl is going to die. 

Dean: Listen to me, both of you, we are not gonna leave her like that.

Bobby: She is a human being.

Dean: And we’re gonna put her out of her misery. Sam, finish it.

This is, after all, an early version of “At least he dies human”. But I need to point out that he is the only one that sees what is going on with Meg (the human) as torture, as misery. Bobby and Sam, who, ironically, will be the ones in this group to know what it is to be possessed by a Demon while Dean WILL become a demon, but not be possessed by one, and won’t be possessed by an angel until season 13, 12 years up the line, seem to think that human Meg would be ok being trapped in her own body as long as she’s alive, while Dean sees what it’s going on as a horrible fate.

And human Meg agrees, because she survives the exorcism and her first words to the brothers, as she’s dying, are “Thank you”.

Once again, Nicki Aycox gives us an amazing portrayal: We know Meg is dying, we know she won’t survive enough for 911 to get there, but she is determined to give one last fuck you to the demon who did it to her. She doesn’t blame the Winchesters, instead, she wants to help. She tells them she was possessed for a year (And anyone paying attention knows that means she was possessed probably as soon as Jess died and because she looked like Sam’s type), that John is alive, and that it’s a trap.

Sam, who had been against this from the beginning, still insists on asking for yellow eyes, but Meg doesn’t know about that. She can only tell them “By the River, Sunrise” about John, and dies, while Dean looks obviously guilty and conflicted despite the fact that Meg died thanking them for her freedom.

And I pause here to give a standing ovation, to Jensen, Nicki and Kim Manners, who directed the episode and gave us such a chilling scene even if he didn’t know at the time it would help to foreshadow a LOT for the future of the show.

Once Meg is dead, Bobby sends the brothers to save John and offers to be their safe house once they do by pointing that they can bring him there, and “he won’t even try to shoot him”, which again, says tons about Bobby’s relationship to the Winchesters, and how well Jim Beaver constructed him since right then and there we know that the brothers are no longer alone. That they can come back and plan properly to get Azazael out of the game, once they save John.

Once they get to the location given by Meg and, well, human Meg, Dean starts getting ready while Sam –who until now has been quite passive in the planning- checks the Key of Salomon, loaned by Bobby and starts painting two devil traps into the trunk. This brings a very annoyed yell from Dean and the following exchange:

Dean: Dude, what are you drawing on my car! 

Sam: It’s called a Devil’s trap. Demons can’t get through it or inside it.

Dean: So?

Sam: It basically turns the trunk into a lockbox.

Dean: So?

Which brings us to two very interesting things.

First, the writers REALLY need to decide who is giving exposition when, as not ten minutes ago, Sam WAS with Dean when Bobby explained the Devil Traps, AND when Bobby and Dean trapped Meg in one of them. The fact that Sam repeats this here? Makes it look as if he doesn’t trust his brother to remember that information. He didn’t need to explain to DEAN that Demons can’t get through the Trap, he needed to tell it to the audience, but the way they made it, it looks as if Sam thinks Dean is a moron.

Second: This is the FIRST time we see Dean obsessed with Baby’s well being. She’s still not called Baby, she’s still “My Car”, but it’s very interesting to see how it happens in an episode where they’re saving John when the LAST time they met with John, the thing John did to “let steam” out after arguing with Sam was to reproach Dean for how he was taking care of the Impala.

Little things that I doubt the writers, in this case the very same Eric Kripke who insisted on not keeping track of what he wrote by not having a series ‘ Bible, ever remembered but that constructed a very complex character in Dean.

My question here is, since it’s the first time we see Dean’s obsession with Baby is… Is he mad that Sam drew on her without permission? Or is he mad that he drew on her at all? WHAT was the aim for that moment from Kirpke, besides getting a start on the following argument? Why did we have to see that Sam doesn’t really considers the Impala “Dean’s car”, as much as “their car”, even if he hadn’t been around for years? Why do we have to know that Sam, in the end, doesn’t respect what Dean considers his own property, the same way he doesn’t respect Dean’s boundaries?

Mind you, this is season 1. We still haven’t gotten to the REAL conflicts between Sam and Dean, and yet we have this tiny moments where the text may be saying that Dean is the “controlling” one, but the images and the narrative show a very different take.

Which bring us to the REAL argument, which is, unfortunately, not about Dean’s boundaries but once again reveals a LOT of what will be the conflict in the future (Even if it was accidental)

Sam: So, we have a place to hide the Colt while we go get Dad.

Dean: What are you talking about? We’re bringing the Colt with us.

Sam: We can’t, Dean. We’ve only got three bullets left. We can’t just use them on any demon, we’ve got to use them on the demon.

Dean: No, we have to save Dad, Sam, okay? We’re gonna need all the help we can get.

Sam: Dean, you know how pissed Dad would be if we used all the bullets? Dean, he wouldn’t want us to bring the gun.

Dean: I don’t care, Sam. I don’t care what Dad wants, okay? And since when do you care what Dad wants?

Sam: We want to kill this demon. You used to want that, too. Hell, I mean, you’re the one who came and got me at school! You’re the one who dragged me back into this, Dean. I’m just trying to finish it!

Dean: Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

Sam: That’s not true, Dean. (Dean scoffs) I want Dad back. But they are expecting us to bring this gun. They get the gun, they will kill us all. That Colt is our only leverage and you know it, Dean. We can not bring that gun. We can’t.

Dean: Fine.

Sam: I’m serious, Dean.

Dean: I said fine, Sam.

 So, once again, we see the priorities of each brother are very clear. Despite Dean having lived all his life under John’s rules, in theory looking for the demon, he really doesn’t care for revenge as much. And we, as an audience, have know that since Wendigo. Sure, he will get mad if you mention Mary, especially if you do so in anger, but he doesn’t care about REVENGE. His idea is “Saving people”, making sure no one else suffers as he did. Sam, however? Doesn’t see it that way. He, despite having known Dean for longer than the audience, seems to have forgotten all the times Dean not only said that saving lives was far more important than hunting the demon (usually in fights with Sam) but also, that Dean HAS been trying to give him outs from the hunting life at least for three episodes now (Which, depending on how the timeline works, could be between four and two months).

Sam, despite it all, doesn't know his brother, doesn’t care to know his brother, and is very eager to blame Dean for what was, in the end, Sam’s own choice. He forgets that Dean only asked him for help in ONE hunt, and that the rest were chosen by Sam as he wanted to avenge Jess.

It’s only when Dean lays out clearly that what he wants is his family safe, that he doesn’t want to lose them to the demon as he lost Mary (something that Sam would know if he had listened to half of what Dean said to stop him from going into the fire in the last episode, but I digress), when Sam finally brings out some logic to his argument, and shows the makings of a plan: The demons expect them, and expect them to have the gun, so it’s obviously a trap. It’s only then when Dean, not quite convinced, agrees and leaves the Gun, even as Sam seems to want to keep arguing even after he won.

Once again, funny how we’re told Sam is the one “Forced” by Dean to do things, when Dean capitulates more often than not, isn’t it?

(Yes, I know that Dean DID end up taking the gun, so, in case you’re wondering, no, I am not tallying this as Sam forcing Dean to do something, but it IS important to notice WHEN Dean capitulated, even if it was just an act)

The brothers leave baby behind and start walking through the city, until Dean spots a building named Sunrise, putting together the description demon Meg gave them and the last clue human Meg said. Sam points out this puts them at a disadvantage, since the demons know how they look while anyone inside could be a demon and they have no way of knowing who (I mean, it’s not as if there was a word they could say to figure it out, right? This is exactly what I mean when I say that the series needed a series bible from day one. How could they forget “Christo” in less than 12 episodes?) so Dean figures out a quick plan: they will pull the fire alarm, get the civilians out, and then sneak in while the firefighters are figuring out what’s going on.

Which brings us back to “Dean makes the plans, but Sam is the SMART brother”. Sigh.

The plan goes without a hitch, with the extra step of Dean pretending to live there to distract a fireman while Sam steals two uniforms. I love that scene, because Dean’s act as a worried owner for his dog –despite my long held, but debunked headcanon that Dean is more of a cat person- is perfect.

As the brothers get inside the building, we get another tidbit of Dean’s backstory that has been completely forgotten by writers and fans alike, at least in fan fic, that I need to point out because it goes again to show how little Sam cared to get to know his brother, despite “the brotherly bond” being the high selling point of the series:

Dean: I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.

Sam: You never told me that.

 And boy, there’s a lot to unpack here and we’re already in page 13 of this thing in word. I swear, this series makes me want to unravel every little thread.

First of, the fact that Dean specifically WANTED to be a fireman is quite telling: After all, firemen were the ones who saved the Winchester’s house, if not the Winchesters themselves, when Mary died. It’s not an admiration born out of being taken out of the burning house –we know Dean was already on his way out with Sammy and John did the extra steps of carrying them both before the house exploded- but it’s still a very interesting thing that, had he not been a hunter, he’d be fighting the OTHER thing that killed his mother. A job that is literally “Saving people”. (and as an aside, I really wonder why the hell whenever people write Dean in AUs where he’s not a hunter, more often than not he’s a Mechanic while Firefighter Dean is quite rare)

Second, Sam’s claim that Dean “never told him that”. I don’t if you’ve been around kids, but once they choose “what they want to be when they grow up” they DON’T SHUT UP about it. Be it something realistic, like Veterinary or Astronaut, or yes, Firefighter, or something completely fantastic like Dinosaur tamer, or Unicorn breeder? Kids will TELL you about it. And everyone who cares to listen or not to listen. So either Sam simply forgot all the times Dean expressed admiration for Firefighters, or even wanting to be one or saying “if we weren’t hunters, I’d totally go to Firefighter training”, which doesn’t say much about Sam’s interest in his brother, or Dean simply never expressed said desire out loud because he knew, even when he was 7, that he’d never get to be anything but his father’s soldier, and just ignored the fact that maybe hunting was not his life.

And I don’t know which one is more depressing, to be honest.

We don’t get Dean’s reply to Sam’s claim however, as his amazing homemade EMF reads high activity.

I have to admit, seeing the brothers so young, so ignorant of what’s going on, and still having a perfect plan to fight whatever it is that they need to fight? It reminds me of why I kept watching the series despite my distaste for “chosen one” narratives. I mean, let’s break it down since we’re already way past the “too long” limit: They covered their faces, so they can win a couple of seconds against the demons, despite knowing the demons would fight any human no matter what. They use the door of the apartment as a first shield so they can use the water tanks that come WITH their disguises, filled with holy water and use that to disorient the demons, far stronger than them, to lock them in a closet and then line the closet with salt so that the demons can’t get out.

Two demons down, no causalities.

Dean gets into the room where the demons kept John, tied to a bed, and confirms that he’s breathing. Before he can free John, Sam stops him to remind him that John could be possessed and, just to make sure, throws holy water at their dad, who doesn’t starts smoking immediately, so they continue their plan to free him, sure that it’s John –who is completely out of it. Sort of awake, yes, but so full of drugs that he’s basically dead weight.

Outside, demons possess a man and a firefighter to go and chase the brothers, who manage to escape through the fire escape (The demonic possession, btw, is a lot more discrete and less dramatic than when the bungee jumping demon did it, which will come into play in a few minutes). Outside, as Sam is checking how to run away, he’s attacked by the same demon that shot Meg, who starts hitting him so hard that Sam can’t defend himself, and force-throws Dean away –after Dean left John sitting next to the building, alone and unprotected.

But before he can make Sam into a pulp, he’s shot in the head and dies. The camera pans to a grave looking Dean, holding the Colt.

This whole sequence is shot and directed beautifully, so please, another minute of silence to the memory of Kim Manners, the best damn director Supernatural ever had.

Next we know, the brothers are holed up in a cabin in the woods, and Sam is salting the windows. WHY didn’t they go directly to Bobby? Well, Sam asks if they could’ve been followed, and Dean replies he doesn’t think so, so I believe it’s implied they didn’t want to put Bobby in more danger, but let’s be honest, it’s because at Bobby’s house with the Devil Trap and all, the following scene would be impossible.

And here’s where the pain starts.

Sam thanks Dean for saving his life, not realizing that Dean is being haunted by that action. At that point, Dean, who later will be known as “emotional repressed” by most of the fandom, writers, and people involved in the show, opens up immediately about the problem:

Dean: You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.

Sam: You didn’t have a choice, Dean.

Dean: Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me.

Sam: Then what does?

Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes.

What Dean doesn’t say, but that we can see in Jensen’s acting, is that what he did was kill an innocent (Well, two in his mind, although he didn’t kill Meg AND the human Meg thanked him for letting her die human, but Dean is not seeing that difference and Sam is not going to point it out). For Sam and John, not for Revenge, Dean is willing to break his own ethos. And this is important to point out, because it will be the main conflict and drive of the series from here on: There’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING Dean won’t do for those he considers family. And as he says himself? It scares him because of what it says about him.

And while I have said before that I know that the writers had absolutely no plan for Dean besides “Sam’s Sidekick” at this point of the series? I can absolutely believe that this scene was the seed to the “Righteous Man” arc, because Dean, in the end, can’t forgive himself for killing an innocent, not even for the Greater Good (just as he can’t stand the idea of someone dying for him, as we learned in Faith)

John comes in, and well, let’s rip this bandaid right away. As he tells a VERY uncomfortable Dean that he’s proud of him for saving them, there are signs that the demon is close. Noticing this, both brothers default to John’s orders who immediately gets Sam out of the room, ordering him to check that he salted all doors and windows, and once Sam is away, asks Dean for the Colt.

Dean, after a small hesitation, lifts the gun and points it at John, because he knows that it’s not his father the one who’s at the wheel.

Sam comes in, and while he doubts Dean’s claim that John is possessed –mostly because Dean’s only reasoning at this point is “He’s different” –he comes to Dean’s side. Unfortunately, as John dares Dean to kill him, he also realizes that the jig is up, so he stops pretending, and shows his yellow eyes in all their glory, pining both Sam and Dean to the wall.

This makes Dean drop the Colt, so the demon picks it up.

Azazael (because let’s be honest, we all know his name so why keep calling him John or Yellow Eyes?) taunts Sam when Sam tells him he’s going to kill him, and puts the Colt down, daring Sam to make it “fly to him”. Meanwhile, he puts all his attention to Dean, because he wanted to kill him specifically using John’s body as revenge for exorcising Meg and killing the other demon, because they were his son and daughter.

I make a note here to point out this is the very last time we hear about demons having families, and the fact that Meg is still alive doesn't even register in Azazael’s future episodes. Same as the idea that demons could NOT possess humans, and the series mythology is already a mess.

Sam asks why, and Azazael points out he killed Jess and Mary because they were “getting in the way” of his plans for “children like him”. Dean interrupts to call the attention of Azazael into him again, and manages to turn the tables emotionally a bit, when he reminds the demon that he killed his kids.

Which is when Azazael starts using his powers to make Dean bleed, and Dean begins yelling for John to fight the demon and save his life.

And it WORKS, which I will not tally officially, but I should mention it’s the first of many times when Dean’s voice in pain makes someone get the strength they need to fight a possession.

John manages to fight Azazael’s for control long enough to free Sam, who shoots Azazael on the knee, which disrupts Azazael’s powers long enough to get Dean free. Then John begs Sam to kill him, as he can still feel Azazael inside, but just as Sam gets ready to do so, to “put an end to everything”, Dean begs Sam not to do it. And for once, Sam listens to Dean and lowers the gun, giving Azazael a chance to escape, leaving a very angry John behind.

As the only member of the family not currently bleeding from new holes, we end the episode with Sam driving the Impala, John in shotgun and Dean, half unconscious, in the back. Sam is asking Dean to resist, as the hospital is ten minutes away (despite they being “in the middle of nowhere” five seconds ago), while John is complaining that Sam didn’t kill him, because “Killing this demon comes first” while Sam, who ended last episode saying the exact same thing, repeats what Dean managed to get into his head “No, sir. Not before everything.”

However, we don’t get to breathe easily, as a eighteen wheeler slams the Impala at full speed, and we end the episode looking at the possessed driver and the bloody, unconscious bodies of the Winchester.

How’s THAT for a season finale?

Violence

Despite everything that happened in the episode, that was a lot, there’s no inter-brother violence here, and no violence from John towards his sons (Azazael is a different story). Given how heavy the episode feels? I am counting this as a nice win.

Emotional Violence

I will admit, this is one of the episodes I was dreading because I knew it was going to be painful. It was going to be painful revisiting it after season 11’s premiere, and now that the series is over? It’s heartbreaking. And it all comes to one single phrase by Dean:

He wouldn’t be proud of me, he’d tear me a new one.

But let’s start at the beginning of said scene. I mentioned before that when “John” praises Dean, Dean looks visibly uncomfortable.

John: It shouldn’t. You did good.

Dean: You’re not mad?

John: For what?

Dean: Using a bullet.

Dean swallows before asking if John is not mad, and John looks honestly confused as to why Dean would think he’d be mad. It starts like a perfect moment to mend the issues, especially as John continues with what may be the nicest thing anyone said to Dean in the whole season:

John: Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you – you watch out for this family. You always have.

 Something that later will get repeated by many characters, the narrative itself, and will become Dean’s most defining trait. But at the moment, Dean only looks even more uncomfortable, and just mumbles a pained thanks.

And while WE don’t know it yet, that’s the exact moment in which Dean knows he’s not talking to John. And upon rewatch, it’s noticeable that Dean is not swallowing, but that his jaw tightens. He knows he and Sam are in danger, that he needs to save his father, and that he needs to play along.

But I am not analyzing this on the normal summary because it’s also a very difficult moment for Dean, because for the first time in the series, someone is weaponizing his love for his family against him, and Dean CAN’T react as he usually does. He shows growth here, by biding his time.

Dean: Dad, Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It disappeared.

John: This is me. I won’t miss. Now, the gun, hurry… Son, please.

 This is the breaking point. Before, when it was just John saying that he was proud of him, Dean was just uncomfortable. But the SECOND John says “please” instead of ordering Dean to hand over the Colt? That’s when Dean steps back and gets in a defensive position. And once again, without lines, we get ton of implied things.

Like, probably Dean was hoping he was wrong, that John would really be proud of him for saving Sam. That if John wasn’t possessed when they found him, the demon had gotten in him when Dean left him alone to save Sam (we later know that’s not true, it’s just that Azazael is such a sparkly magical demon he can resist holy water). That John would never, in a thousand years, ask Dean nicely for something.

And so, he raises the gun and voices his suspicions and seals the fact that John Winchester was a terrible father:

Dean: He’d be furious.

John: What?

Dean: That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn’t be proud of me, he’d tear me a new one. You’re not my Dad.

Sam arrives, and hesitates a second before siding with Dean, whose eyes are brimming with tears as he keeps the Colt pointed at John’s body. Which is when Azazael twists the knife a little bit more into Dean’s heart:

John: Fine. You’re both so sure, go ahead. Kill me.

Which Dean, of course, can’t do.

Later on, during the torture as Azazael is slowly killing Dean with horrible scratches in his chest that can’t but remind me of the hellhounds from the future seasons (Despite knowing it wasn’t planned), Azazael delivers yet another horrible line that will define Dean’s story arc for the next 15 seasons.

John: You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam – he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you.

Which is a half truth, as demons lie. Fact is, without Dean? Sam would’ve killed John. Or gotten himself killed long before this moment. And we know that Dean hunted more or less alone for four years, and, in hindsight and thanks to future episodes, that Dean flourished without John and Sam around (unless he believed Sam was dead, but that’s a different situation that will be addressed in season 6). But yeah, Sam is John’s favorite, and John has shown more concern, even in these episodes, than for Dean.

And while we will speak more of this in the next season, for now, it only ends with the fact that the biggest hurt that Dean got in the whole episode was that no-one contradicted Azazael at all. John, in particular, may have been able to fight Azazael upon hearing how Dean was suffering, but after that he never once said anything about Dean’s well being.

Speeches and Apologies

There are no big speeches here to analyze, except for Dean’s realization that he will do anything for his family. But as I already went on an on about that, we can consider this section vacant for the episode.

Double narrative standards

It’s very interesting to note how the brothers, and thus, the writers, used to deal with demons back then. The fact that Dean killed one (and exorcised another, even when that only meant she got expelled from the body she was occupying and sent back to hell, even if Azazael acts as if she had been killed) is seen by Dean and the narrative as a crime: He killed an innocent, even if said innocent at the time was being an instrument to harm Sam. The fact that Sam has, many times before, acted as if bystanders were acceptable losses is never once mentioned, and thus, the narrative seems to want us to believe that the only Winchester directly with blood in his hands is Dean –because even when John begs Sam to “shoot him in the heart”, Sam doesn’t. Never mind that Sam doesn’t because at the same time, Dean is begging him not to shoot, while Dean didn’t need said reassurance to being unable to shot John previously AND judging himself for exorcising Meg.

Final Tally

This was the last episode of the season, and oh, boy, the numbers are quite surprising to be completely honest. While you can check the actual numbers below, I want to point out that Dean didn’t lie to Sam or anyone else for that matter in the whole season, nor tried to manipulate or force Sam into doing things at all. He made fun in a mean way Six times in total, versus 31 different occasions in which Sam demeaned and made fun of Dean’s habits or stuff. Six versus 31, that gives us a difference of 25, which is quite the lead for “the empathic” brother.

Most telling, despite the idea that Dean “always” was controlling and overbearing, we have 7 different occasions in which Dean respects Sam’s boundaries, against 14 times when Sam doesn’t respect Dean’s. In the same vein, we have 5 different occasions in which Sam blamed Dean for something Dean didn’t do, while Dean has not blamed Sam for anything Sam didn’t do.

Finally, for all the talk of the series being “about two brothers” in the beginning, we have that the season is divided in 7 arc episodes dedicated solely to Sam, 6 filler episodes dedicated to Sam and his needs and backstory, NO arc episodes dedicated to Dean, 4 filler episodes dedicated to Dean, and 3 arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (Or none, meaning that it’s about just advancing the plot). Also, there were 2 plotlines about Sam introduced that were later discarded and never mentioned, versus 1 about Dean, which in general proves that, at least as far as Season 1 goes? Dean was not treated as a main character at all, as the majority of the Season was ALL about SAM.

Let’s see how this continues in Season 2.

Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)

(Episode/Total so far)

Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0

Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3

Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0

Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1

Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1

Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 0 / 4

Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0

Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1

Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0

Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7

Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0

Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7

Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1

Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2

Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0

Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 5

Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3

Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2

Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7

Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 1 / 14

Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6

Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31

Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1

Times we focus on Sam's needs: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 7

Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0

Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4

Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 1 / 3

Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1

Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2

Mythology Dropped Plot points: 1/1

[sarasa-cat]

Attempting to write a few disorganized and disconnected thoughts about my experience with Disco Elysium so far. 

Oh sooooo much enjoyment.

Under a Read More for length and spoilers for those who haven’t played. 

First, play is going really slowly here because it’s our Late Evening Family Entertainment(tm) and adulting is hectic. Exhaustion creeps up quickly so, often, an evening play session is only 45-90 minutes and usually only 4-6 nights per week. Playing on the PS4 connected to the big TV means relying a bit more on the audio (which is slower than reading at normal reading speed) and, tbh, I’m just not in a hurry to finish this anytime soon.

Not playing tonight because the other half is working ultra-late. 

Yesterday evening I left off in the game close to midday on Wednesday on the first week, and have just crossed over into the fishing village on the other side of the bridge.

Have managed to win three trophies/achievements rather quickly, in this order:

1. Goodest Of The Good Cops (Really get Kim to trust you) 2. Biggest Communism Builder (Employ critical theory 9 times) 3. Hyperstellar Law OfficialSay  (7 deranged superstar lines)

I suspect I might get the Art achievement sometime in the near future. Tbd.  

All of this sums up the kind of personality I am playing, and it is with the intellectual build. 

Also, I decided to play this run as a “going sober” run. Although we’ll see how long that lasts. 

Enjoying very much how the mystery of who this player character is slowly unfolds and his backstory just becomes more and more messed up.  Recently found Harry’s car in the ice, talked to the three drunks in the fishing village, and learned about the Tequila Sunset incident.

Honestly in no hurry whatsoever to solve and complete this case. Just enjoying. 

Although I am thinking about how different this story would feel if I selected a different build and took every opportunity possible to get drunk or take drugs. (Clearly, the next run needs to be this)

...

Want to say something thoughtfully meta about this game but ... my brain either isn’t ready to put together thoughts OR is too exhausted. 

Thus, a couple of random points:

1.  The art style. Oh yes. Sometimes I just zoom in and enjoy the painterly feel of it. Just so much yes. 

2.  The world building fascinates and it works well. Heavy doses of exposition in narration can become tedious, depending on how it is handled. In Disco Elysium, I just dig in, act dumb, and let the characters tell me all about the world. Omnomnom. Impressed at how it holds together, feels grounded/has depth, and doesn’t have that window dressing feeling that happens far too often in other fantasy settings.  *cough* not mentioning names here. haha

3.  The cast of characters are interesting. Motivated. Grounded in their environment and their world views (for better or worse). While each of the characters represent various tropes, hardly any character feels “tropey.”  Very satisfied with this aspect and how it really feels like a novel, despite(?) the limitations(?) of an RPG game. 

4.  All of the Voices in Harry’s head ahahahahahahahhahaha. It just doesn’t get old. It really doesn’t. 

5.  Have been thinking on and off about why Kim puts up with Harry’s nonsense and is actually quite compassionate. So far, Kim has given a few in-game reasons. Just watching this oddball partnership slowly develop/unfold. Very satisfying with the kind of character I have crafted. 

6.  I feel like I should have something deeper to say but ... nah, my brain is done. I’m just vibing. 

[tuiyla]

She-Ra’s like, really good, people

It’s been over a week since She-Ra season 5 came out and I binged it and this is not going to be coherent but I just want to rant about it a bit before writing some more structured metas. I deffo wanna write about Catradora and how I think SPoP is the true spiritual successor to the Avatar.

But first, let me just scream about how good this show is. I already started rewatching it, pretty much straight after finishing it, and I don’t rewatch tv shows often. The exception is Avatar (seen it like 15 times) and sitcoms. But She-Ra is so layered that I felt like I needed to watch it again just to appreciate the dynamics even more.

I already enjoyed the first season but it kept getting better and better. I’m not in love with the art style and it’s definitely for a younger demographic overall than my other favourite animated shows, but like any good kids’ show it balances tone well. It doesn’t talk down to its target demographic but also includes more traditionally mature themes in a digestible and entertaining way. Not all the jokes landed for me but as the series went on I learned to appreciate the tone and the type of humour She-Ra goes for.

It’s funny to me because this is definitely the type of show I would have rejected as a kid, with all the princesses I would have deemed it “too girly” and therefore not for me because screw gender roles. There’s a degree of internalized sexism to that, for sure, a rejection of the feminine because it’s always been seen as less somehow. But there’s also a truth that, at least in my childhood of the late 90s and early 00s, children’s media targeted at girls often had a poor quality to it, at least when compared to “boys’ stuff”.

She-Ra is not only a clever, heartfelt, complex story, it also transcends that binary of having to be either for girls or boys. I know most of modern animation rejects that as well, but She-Ra embraces so many traditionally feminine qualities while also going beyond gender roles and even the gender binary. This show is so queer, man, and I love it. It’s especially impressive when you consider the source material that was literally just the girly version of He-Man. I have no beef with 80s She-Ra, haven’t seen much of it, but this is such an upgrade.

That being said, I would have loved to watch She-Ra as a kid. I’m so incredibly envious of kids, aged around 10, who get to watch this show as they’re growing up. But I am so, so, so happy for them and for the future of animation that shows like She-Ra can be made now, that they’re being made. I’m going to go into spoilers soon, but just before that: She-Ra’s a perfectly enjoyable show in many aspects. I think the worldbuilding’s pretty cool, the story feels coherent and planned out, it’s lighthearted and so genuine. That’s the word that I ultimately choose to describe the series: genuine.

I feel like so much of TV aims to be dark and gritty nowadays, animation included, and though that’s slowly turning to dark comedy or a balance between fun and serious, it’s still the norm. At some point in the last decade, creators became terrified of being judged as cheesy. Even something like the MCU bathes in bathos to avoid being cheesy. But She-Ra proves that creators shouldn’t be afraid of being genuine, of basing characters and storylines on the simple power of love. Like, it’s such a cliché trope but I think that’s mostly because it has become stale.

Noelle Stevenson has talked about the importance of love in her story and I’m so grateful for that. Through, She-Ra, she’s truly proven how powerful love can be in a story and how it doesn’t have to be cheesy. It’s just so unabashedly genuine. The power of love and friendship literally saves the day several times but it’s always so genuine and more importantly it always makes sense that it doesn’t get boring. If the foundation wasn’t there, then I’d say “well this is just super cheesy”. But the show makes a point of building relationships and making them the focal point of the story.

Alright, so, spoilers because I need to talk about character arcs and THAT KISS and just everything. I really need to write more in depth about Adora and Catra and their relationship but for now I feel like it’s so important to appreciate how they’re developed. Everything from their shared childhood to their trauma with Shadow Weaver and the finding their way back to each other, it’s just *chef’s kiss*. It’s so well-written and believable. Ngl, I do have some minor issues with Catra’s redemption arc. Let’s just say that on a scale from Kylo Ren to Zuko, she’s definitely closer to Zuko. I also appreciate Shadow Weaver’s death scene and how it allows them to move on. I didn’t see that one as Death as Redemption and it shouldn’t be. Again and again the show made it clear that she was abuse towards both girls and nothing will negate that.

From what I can tell, the fandom really latched onto Catra, even when it wasn’t clear whether she’d get a redemption arc. I think that’s important, because unlike some characters in animation, Catra’s actions were almost always framed appropriately. There was always an understanding as to where she’s coming from, how she’s acting from a place of hurt, and yet her actions weren’t justified. They weren’t suddenly all okay just because she’s hurt, too. I especially loved in the season 3 finale when Adora was allowed to finally say no, to say that Catra’s actions were not her fault. That season as a whole was beautiful, like, episode three when Adora’s struggling so much and Catra has the opportunity for a better life but she still fails to choose her own happiness because she’s too bitter over SW and Adora? It’s poetic cinema. I love that angst, so well done.

It would be so easy to misfire in Catra’s storyline and either a) write off all the awful things she does because she’s just “misunderstood” or b) irredeemably stuck in her abusive environment with no hope of escape. They balanced quite well there and managed to handle such a complex character with delicacy. I’m quite happy with how Catra was portrayed because on the one hand, she’s painfully relatable to me and I assume to many others. The audience can see their own mistakes reflected in her character because we’ve all been too stubborn, done things out of spite, refused to acknowledge that we were wrong because we were hurting so much. At the same time, I always felt like the show gave me enough space to judge Catra’s actions and acknowledge that she was in the wrong. I honestly think I would have been a better adjusted teenager is if saw this show just before my angsty years, lol.

I’m going to write more about Adora at some other point but I love how vulnerable she’s allowed to be. Protagonists never used to be my favourite characters because they all seemed the same, with two major categories: the stereotypical male hero who can do no wrong or the angsty boi who can be shitty and the text still frames him as awesome. It’s only recently with series like The Legend of Korra and She-Ra that I go “damn, protagonists can be like that, huh.” Adora is a dumb jock who tries so hard and she deserves all the hugs in the world.

Also, Catradora? Breathtaking, amazing, groundbreaking. No doubt She-Ra needed shows like Adventure Time, LoK, Steven Universe and the likes to pave the way but still, it went there. I saw people be anxious about whether they were gonna be queerbaited, but I always, idk, knew? Trusted? That She-Ra would follow through. I didn’t wait six years for Bubbline to happen for Catradora to not get their big damn kiss. The series has been so effortlessly queer from the get-go that it just made sense that they were always heading there. I did see a gif of the kiss before watching s5 and ngl, that spoiler kind of bummed me out in a way that I wanted to be surprised. But even before I saw that I wasn’t worried. And the context of their journey in season 5? That cannot be spoiled by a simple gif. You have to experience that to fully appreciate it and that is the marker of good storytelling.

I understand that, though this should be the norm by now, Noelle Stevenson still had to be smart about how she approached the execs and she wasn’t sure this could happen. I cannot tell you how happy I am about what she said regarding how Catradora was so integral to the story that the execs couldn’t not allow it. That’s so brilliant, and it feels so natural in the story. Queer love saves the day and it’s not ambiguous, it cannot be censored because you lose a part of the story without it. You did it, Noelle, you funky little lesbian, what an icon. I can’t wait to see more stuff from her.

In other news, I appreciated other characters as well, like how all the princesses got to be different and awesome in their own unique way. Season 5 was great for so many characters, Mermista got so much to work with and Spinnerella and Netossa got so much more characterization than in previous seasons. Glimmer continued to be the third most important character in the story and I’m happy about all the relationships that also got to be canon. Good characters and dynamics all around, no wonder since the show is built on that.

Such a satisfying conclusion and one that makes you feel like this is just part one of a much bigger story. Such genuine, heartfelt moments, well-developed characters, complex themes explored in a respectful and digestible way, and such an unapologetically fun show. Melissa Fumero as a side character? Yes please. Catra’s new haircut? Heck yeah! She-Ra’s new design? Oh my.

I’m not even like, super into She-Ra, and I usually don’t write so much about things I only watch casually. But this show is so good and important that I had to rant. And I will write more about it eventually, but for now I needed to get all of this out. I’d give it a better structure but if I really get into I might never end up posting it so for now here, have this ramble of love. She-Ra, of all shows, deserves that.

[not-to-be-gay-but-holy-shit]

Im kinda neutral about the tma metaplot but i really *want* to like it, id love to hear your thoughts on it!

Oh hi! I honestly didn’t expect anyone to want to hear my thoughts!! (Keep in mind I am dumb and am generally bad at literary analysis but it’s something I’m trying to get better at so like,, pls be kind) It’s under the cut because its a thousand words long. Sorry. 😬

First of all, I want to talk about my personal reason for enjoying the meta turn. The Magnus Archives, even from the first season, was written in the podcast equivalent of a found footage movie. Everything that we hear as the audience could, conceivably, be found and listened to as if we are in the same universe, and I’m a big fan of that trope. It’s the same reason I enjoyed Percy Jackson so much as a kid. Percy starting the story off with a fourth wall break, addressing the reader, like I found his journal on my own, made me feel like a part of the story. So that’s my indulgent reason for enjoying this twist. It felt like a nice progression from “everything you hear is recorded on a tape recorder as a plot device” to “this is a thing that happened and you get to listen to it”. Very satisfying, in my opinion. It’s also the reason I can’t finish the pilot of my own fiction podcast because I want it to be found footage so BADLY but I can’t DO IT non-derivatively fuck

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about what it adds to the story metaphorically! Because oh boy does it have some implications if Jonny does it right!

We all know that The Magnus Archives is about capitalism and helplessness, right? Being trapped in your workplace and any attempt to escape or quit is followed with threats of violence (i.e. being evicted, starving to death) and upper management is manipulating you and using your labor to commit terrible crimes but you can’t do anything to stop it? Thanks to this blog post from 2019 talking about both capitalism and hopelessness in the narrative that initially got me thinking about that interpretation.

Even outside of the implications of being stuck at the Institute, characters find themselves helpless... a lot. In season one, Martin is trapped in his apartment and is helpless to do anything except wait out Jane Prentis. Again in that season, Sasha, Martin, and Jon are helpless to watch Tim unknowingly walk into a room of homicidal worms, potentially killing him. Season two, they find out after the fact that Sasha has been replaced and are helpless to save her because she’s already gone. Need I mention the amount of times that Jon has been kidnapped, and his autonomy taken away from him? Or how Jon spends the entire fourth season watching Martin fall in with the Lonely, unable to sway him away from Peter Lukas’s side (until the very end). Even Elias, at the end of season 4, tricking Jon into starting the Eyepocolypse follows this theme. Once he gets to “apologies for the deception”, Jon knows he needs to stop reading or something bad is going to happen but he’s helpless to stop it. Season five, on the other hand, is them trying to get back some of that autonomy. Even though they’re helpless to save everyone, they do what they can, killing a few avatars along the way, but it's not enough, and there’s still tragedies along the way. And these are all just things I could remember off the top of my head! There’s definitely more instances if you go looking for them.

This is my theory: With the implications of the meta twist, we, as the audience, are going to be forced to experience what it feels like to be truly helpless in the face of tragedy, just like the characters have felt through this entire experience.

Of course, we could, at any point, stop listening. The newest episode could come out and none of us could listen to it, but that’s not going to happen. Most of us, I’m sure, will listen to the next episodes, knowing we are going to leave the experience emotionally affected in some way. The Magnus Archives is a tragedy, and we all signed up to listen to that tragedy, knowing that nothing we could do will change the fact that our beloved characters are going to be hurt and traumatized and (possibly) dead by the end. All we can do is listen.

Meanwhile, the implications of Jonny hinting at a fourth wall break, including us as characters, means that, potentially, we could do something. If we exist in the podcast, we, who have the knowledge that something is about to go very, very wrong, could feasibly change something, fix something, save our favorite characters.

But we just can’t (firstly, because it’s not actually real, but secondly because that’s the point.)

We could take this another step further, too. Jonny could propose that instead of helping, instead of trying to change things, we the audience, were enablers to all the tragic happenings to the characters throughout the series, and we’re just using these traumatized people as our sick entertainment. That’s commentary in itself about the entertainment industry under capitalism, and it fits into that original theme of exploitation. Now, personally, I don’t think that’s the moral that Jonny is intending. It’s an awfully grim outlook, and, I think, a little harsh on your fans if the moral is you could have stopped this bad thing if you tried, especially considering most TMA fans are people oppressed in some way or another by the systems we live in. But it’s still a theory (and I want proof that I said it, just in case the narrative does go this way).

Anyways. I don’t remember where I was going with this. TMA meta good. Send tweet.

I’m a very inexperienced writer, so I don’t trust myself to formulate a good defense of whether or not Johnny is writing the meta correctly, but, on a gut instinctual level, I’m enjoying the twist so far, so we’ll see!

There’s also the potential for it being used as commentary on government surveillance, or social media, but when it comes to TMA themes, I’m a big fan of it’s approach to helplessness, so I’m biased to think that every new plot device is about that. Thanks for asking, this was actually a lot of fun to write!!

Tl;dr: imo TMA is about helplessness under capitalism and including the audience as a character will make it even more heartbreaking when the tragic thing happens and we can’t stop it.

[daeneryswhitehorse]

Dany hate throughout the years.

( This is base on a reply I made in post create by @yendany . I also want to precise that it is only my perspective of the fandom as a dany stan, other people probably have a different opinion of what was going on. )

I came in the asoiaf/got fandom in 2011, when the show first came out. I fell in love with dany on my first watch and still like her after reading the books. I started to get involved in the fandom because I wanted to learn more about her.

I didn't know tumblr at the time so I was on westeros.org. The mad queen dany theory was already a thing, mostly for the persons who didn't like that dany could be azor ahai and not one of the male character. But the forum still liked her for her baddass moments in asos or her portrayal in the first season of got.

Everything changed when adwd came out. The incels in this site really didn't liked dany having sex with daario after rejecting jorah/quentyn. They also didn't understood her plot, were tired of her staying in Essos or not interacting with main pov character. It was enough for them to think she was boring.

From then on, there were a lot of bad take of her character. Grrm wanting to talk about the consequences of her mistakes and her decision of staying in meereen was understood as dany being dumb and incompetent as a queen. People made fun of her long list of titles and thought it make her look arrogant. They claimed she was nothing without her dragon, in contrast to male character like stannis. Or not a true warrior because she spend her battle hiding in her tent, unlike stannis or jon who fight with swords. Or that she didn't car about the common people, because she try to negociate with the meereeness nobles. Most of those claimed exist to prove why character like Jon or Stannis would be azor ahai or the true king of Westeros.

After season 3 of the show came out, a lot of people were rightfully offended by the final scene with daenerys where she surf on a sea of brown people. A lot of fans start seeing Dany as a white savior in both books and show, and a lot of essay were about how how her storyline was rooted in racist orientalist ideas. If you were a person of color and still stan her, it was probably because of internalized racism.

Before this season, feminist critized the butchering of most of dany storyline, like they did with other female characters. But none was as talk about then Sansa's, because the most popular female character like Dany, Arya and Brienne were seen as the cash grab of the show. It was considered more important to defend her in particular, and liking Sansa over them was seen as resistance act against D&D misogyny.

The intellectual part of the fandom really went out of their way in defending her. They liked her because she was a gateway to the political part of the story in King's Landing and the Vale. They didn't like how some fans victim-blamed her for the abuse she suffered with the Lannister, and praised the fact she didn't end up with stockolm syndrome like Dany or Theon. "Not everyone can be an Arya" did they said, as they wanted people to acknowledged she was the more relatable point of view and how her traditional feminity shouldn't be put down. They emphasis a lot on her kindness, her emphatie, or her observational skills but and said those qualities were unique to her and are what separate her of the rest of the cast. She was the representation of humanity in this crapsack world. And after outsmarting Littlefinger would probably be rewarded with an important political position and would be one of the builder of the new world after the apocalypse.

All of this probably wasn't meant to be interprete as hate toward other female and some of the male characters, but it sure did for the Sansa stan! Who would then create their entire defense meta around putting down any character they found and upliftting her above them. Their favorite target was Arya, but you could found from time to time one on Dany. I remember someone defending Sansa innocence in trusting Cersei in the first book, by emphasing on her age and naivety, and putting down dany for not knowing mirri maz durr would get revenge on her khalassar.

Talking about Dany, the intellectual part of the fandom didn't really like her. I mean they didn't hate her, and didn't diminish her importance in the story, but she clearly wasn't a fan favorite.

There was two angle in their analysis of daenerys: the political leader and the messiah.

For the first part, they were trying to define daenerys position in the story, and came to the conclusion she was the destroyer of the old world. In their point of view, dany didn't free the slaves in asos for pure reason but because she couldn't pay for an army, and then didn't know how to build a new economy, leading to the horrors in astapor in adwd and her failure in maintaining peace in meereen. For them, Dany is unable to control her emotion and confuse revenge with justice. They also think she is an incompetent queen who make decision on a whim and never listen to her adviser. Her relationship with Daario represent her want for easy solution through war, wich she embrace at the end of adwd. When she can't remember Hazzea name, it meant innocent would die in her violent path in twow. Because of this, the expression "the path of hell is paved with good intention" became popular to define her arc from asos to beyond.

For the second part, they were clearly interressed by the mystical part of her story. Dany has a lot of prophecy around her that can be used to determined the next plotlines post adwd. For some reason, they pushed their own obssession with it on Daenerys, who they now believed is blinded by her own destiny. They claimed she think she is the hero of story and is unable to see when she does something wrong. This until she will blow up King's Landing in ados. This would push her toward her true destiny in the fight against the others where she will sacrifice herself for the greater good.

And lets not talk about the weird part of the fandom who are obssessed with deconstruction and who would only acknowledge dany as azor ahai reborn if it meant the hero is actually the true villain of the story, and the Others misunderstood victims.

2015 arrive as well as season 5 of got. This season was so controversial it manage to divided the fandom in three.

The first one were book purist who were disguted by the total butchering of affc/adwd plotline to replace them with offensive mess, and decided to stop watching the show and focus on the books. While some of them were dany friendly, they all seem to favor character like Sansa, Stannis, Brienne, the Lannisters, or the Martells. A lot of effort were put into their metas to uplift their book plotline and personality above their show counterpart.

The second part is similar to the first one, exept they didn't stop watching the show but decided to view each season through critical lense to try to understand the sexism and racism of D&D. They were mostly Sansa and Martell stan.

Both of those point of view were seen as too radical and annoying by the dudebro show apologist. Being a Martell and Sansa stan also become a sign of being a woke feminist, a book purist and a show anti.

The third part of the fandom decided that the failure of season 5 was the responsability of Grrm for not finishing his books in time, and that the show writer had run out of material and were forced to improvised. Plus the book plots were too complex and boring to be adapted, they had to simplify them. And they were also given futur plot point by Grrm that could explain some of the controversial decision this season. Like Sansa wedding with Ramsay, it was probably made because the character would end up in the North in one of the next books.

Thoses three point of view are important to understand why when the theory saying dany is a villain not a hero became more popular, dany stan were pretty isolated.

And why did this theory became more popular? Well it's a mix of all thoses perception of daenerys that I mention above but mostly because of the peoples who decided that dany in season 5 was Joffrey.02. Like I say there were people who thought that D&D were now working with futur plot point given by Grrm. And since dany storyline was read as one of a white savior, and the fandom believed Grrm can't do no wrong, and dany did some stuff this season they disapproved of, they decided it meant dany should be seen as a villain. And in a way, it manage to reconciliate the feminist anti racist and the pro D&D point of view , now united in hating daenerys. It allowed them to still trust the show, because it meant it was not D&D and grrm who were racist but dany, and it made them feel smart for having figured out this big plot point. Plus a chunk of the show!jon stan decide the parallel between them this season meant he would become the true hero of the story. Because they thought janos execution was more honorable than mossador's, and jon fight against the wight walker to defend his brothers and the free folks was contrast with dany running away on drogon.

But there were people who didn't like dany and didn't think she would become a villain. Thoses people were feminist who thought daenerys, as the face of the show, was the embodiement of D&D fake feminism responsible of the ruined of character like Sansa or the Martells. Sansa in particular because they felt the show hated traditional feminity which is something Dany was not, which was what allegedly gave her more priviledge and love by the writer and fandom. When season 6 came out, they criticized the double standard between Cersei and Dany, where the former was demonized for burning a Church and the later was celebrate for burning the khals in their holy place. Obviously, the criticism of orientalism and racism within her story didn't make her very popular with feminist.

Season 6 end, and the sansa fandom decide to ship their fav with Jon Snow. But unfortunalty for them, it was obvious that jonerys would become a thing in later season.

Now Sansa was pretty well beloved by the fandom. Like I said earlier, the intellectual part of the fandom and the sansa defense squad really went out of their way to give a better image of the character, wich was fairly popular now that show sansa had a more active role. Plus the feminist adore her!

On the other hand, daenerys was seen as either a villain in the making, or the representation of the show fake feminism and racism. At this point dany stan were considered the dumbass of the fandom.

So, what happen when the jonerys vs jonsa shipping war happen? Well the jonerys shipper were seen as the big bully who victimized the poor sansa stan. Since in their point of view, dany stan were racist people who can't read, and the sansa stan were the woke book purist. Since Sansa was the underdog unfairly hated by the dudebro of the fandom, but beloved by the intellectuals. And Dany was the popular girl who got dumb stan and is only loved by pop feminism. People were naturally more incline into believing jonsa shippers as the victime of this war.

Even when the sansa stan were saying the most heinous things about dany and other female character to prop her up. Even when they were using the villain dany theory, the dark!dany theory, the white savior theory that had now become about dany being a colonizer and imperialist, or the ableist mad queen dany theory wich they backed up by diagnosis her with all the real life disorder they hated. It was seen as normal and dany stan just can't handle criticism. Even when multiple blog were created on tumblr to hate on daenerys which had almost no equivalent for the sansa/jonsa fandom, the jonerys shippers were the bad guys.

Jonerys was made canon in season 7. The intellectual part of the fandom either accept it but thought it was a cliche uninspiring ship, or they defend it for the themes but didn't see it as a complex relationship like jaime with cersei or brienne. The feminist, particulary the one who hated house targaryen, were shocked that grrm could romantize incest. And obviously, the jonsa hated it, and there ugliness started to be notice more with the weird theory they builted, like political!jon. The Jonerys fandom were finally getting some justice.

Plus more big name essayists in the fandom started debunking of the baseless incel hate dany receive post adwd. Dany had now the right to sleep with Daario, Jorah was a creep, Dany rejected Quentyn for peace, and Drogo being Dany rapist was getting more believed by the fandom.

During the hiatus before season season 8, @rainhadaenerys wrote down a lot of meta as a defense against the worst claimed that the fandom made about Dany. It gave hoped to dany stan, but it was crushed by season 8 with D&D deciding to make the mad queen theory canon the worst way possible.

Now the feminist and the intellectual part of the fandom are both defending daenerys. But there is the dominant idea that certain event of the last season could happen in the books, like dany burning King's Landing. And the possibility of her going insane should be accepted by the dany stan, and if not, it mean we are not real asoiaf fans.