#did i forget what the name of this was at some point

[dragonwysper]

Second one, no. Curly wanted to see the best in people, especially in a guy he considered a buddy, and that's why he couldn't accept that Jimmy did something so awful. It's a direct commentary on some men irl who hear that their friend SA'd someone, and immediately go, "what?? [Name]?? I know him! He's my best buddy! He would never!"

It's men who fully recognize that rape is an awful thing, but they're so far detached from it and trusting of their friends that they can't reconcile that horrible thing being something someone they see as a good person did. Curly wasn't afraid of Jimmy. He never was, until after the crash. He called him a close friend at several points in the game. Claiming "oh he just didn't know how to deal with an aggressive crewmate" is ascribing too much innocence to him.

The second criterion you want is that he cared deeply about Anya and wanted to believe her, but had a moment of cognitive dissonance that blinded him to the fact that his friend was a bad person.

But ultimately, Curly is complicit, and we cannot forget that, justify it, or water it down.

'curlys lack of proper intervention enabled jimmy to continue his abuse towards anya and the rest of the crew and his character is a showcase of how men refuse to acknowledge the issue and take it seriously when their friends turn out to be predators. his inaction becoming the initial cause of everyones demise in the end is part of the games commentary on rape culture and how it affects the victims and everyone around them'

and

'curly isnt an inherently evil person but in fact a very human and relatable character who was genuinely upset with wht jimmy did but didnt want to take drastic measures in tht very moment to avoid causing more harm to anyone bcuz he knew jimmy was unpredictable and prone to becoming aggressive and he tried to handle the situation carefully (altho failed to do so in the end)'

r 2 statements tht can coexist btw

[aliyahwritings]

THE CONTRACTED HEART — Rafe Cameron

MASTERLIST

Summary: Coming back from a theater night with your friends only made Rafe hornier for some reason

Warnings: smut, eating out, fingering, p in v.

Word Count: 3.3k

Aliyah's Notes: this is kind of all over the place but wtv. it's a cute little extra that i thought was fun

You: "Where the fuck are you?" You: "This is why you’ve never had a girlfriend." You: "I hope you guys tripped and fell into a river." You: "I’m serious, Rafe. Are you okay? I’m starting to worry."

You stood outside the cinema with Kiara and Sarah, arms crossed as the chilly New York breeze bit at your skin. Despite the gray hoodie you’d stolen from Rafe draped over your white crop top, you still felt cold, silently cursing Sarah for convincing you to wear such a thin outfit. Sure, it looked great, but it definitely wasn’t warm enough for a night like this.

The three of you had been waiting for what felt like forever while the guys—Rafe, JJ, and John B—vanished into the snack counter abyss. You hadn’t even decided on a movie yet, and deep down, you knew that when Rafe showed up, a heated argument about which movie to watch was inevitable.

It was almost tradition at this point: the two of you bickering over the movie choice while everyone else groaned in frustration. But like always, you were confident you’d win. You always did. Rafe would put up a fight for the sake of it, but in the end, he’d cave, and you’d get your way.

Kiara sighed loudly, tugging you out of your thoughts. "What’s taking them so long? Are they buying snacks or building them from scratch?"

“With the time they’re taking, I’m starting to think they’ve decided to move in back there," you muttered, shoving your hands into the hoodie pockets.

Kiara snorted, throwing her hands in the air. “Seriously, what’s their deal? Did they forget we exist?”

“Knowing JJ and John B? Probably. They’re probably debating over candy, and Rafe’s just stuck there, pretending to care," Sarah chimed in, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“And he’ll come out looking all innocent,” you added, smirking. “Like, ‘What? It wasn’t me.’”

Kiara grinned, brushing her hair out of her face. “Meanwhile, JJ’s going to show up with enough snacks to feed a small country.”

Sarah laughed. “Honestly, we should’ve started a timer on them. This is ridiculous.”

"Or a betting pool," Kiara added with a mischievous glint.

You chuckled, glancing at the glowing movie posters plastered on the walls. Your gaze lingered on the title of the movie you’d been determined to watch all week. It was calling your name, and nothing—not even Rafe’s inevitable stubbornness—was going to stop you from seeing it tonight.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the guys emerged, balancing an obscene amount of snacks between them. JJ led the charge with a sheepish grin, precariously balancing a tray stacked with popcorn, nachos, and candy.

“We’re back, ladies!” JJ called, panting as he reached you. He flashed Kiara a grin and casually slung an arm around her shoulder. “Took a little longer than expected.”

Sarah raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “A little? We were about to send a search party.”

JJ waved her off, popping a kernel of popcorn into his mouth. “You just don’t appreciate the art of snack selection. It’s a process, Sarah. You can’t rush greatness.”

“Greatness, huh?” Kiara deadpanned, staring at the tray in his hands.

“Absolutely.” JJ puffed out his chest but immediately backed down at Kiara’s withering look.

As John B mumbled an apology and tried to lighten the mood, Rafe sauntered up, his gaze locked on you. His blue eyes seemed to search yours, scanning your face for any sign of annoyance—or maybe forgiveness. Without a word, he slid his arm around your waist, pulling you close in one smooth motion.

"Are you mad?" he asked quietly, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

You tilted your head, pretending to think. "Hmm, let me see... You disappeared for ages, left me out here in the freezing cold, and probably picked the most ridiculous snacks. What do you think?"

Rafe's lips twitched, fighting a smirk. "So... that's a yes?"

"Obviously,” you crossed your arms, feigning a pout, though the warmth of his arm around your waist made it hard to stay committed to the act.

“C’mon, baby, it wasn’t that bad,” he teased, leaning closer. “You had Sarah and Kie to keep you company. I bet they were super entertaining.”

“Much better company than you,” you sassed, though the corner of your mouth twitched in betrayal.

Rafe’s smirk grew, and he leaned in even closer, so close you could feel his breath fan against your cheek. “How about I make it up to you?”

You quirked an eyebrow, your heart skipping a beat despite yourself. “Oh? And how exactly are you planning to do that?”

“I’ll let you pick the movie,” he said, as if it was a monumental sacrifice.

You blinked, staring at him. “You were going to let me pick the movie anyway.”

“Yeah, but now I’m offering,” he countered, his grin widening.

Kiara’s voice broke through the moment, her tone dripping with mock exasperation. “God, will you two just kiss already so we can pick a seat? It’s freezing out here.”

Sarah snorted. “Seriously, you guys are worse than an old married couple.”

Your cheeks burned, but before you could respond, Rafe turned his head toward the girls, his expression smug. “Jealous much?”

“Of what? Your inability to tell time?” Kiara shot back, unimpressed.

Rafe chuckled, then turned back to you, ignoring their comments. “So, are we good?”

You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your smile. “Fine. But you’re holding all the snacks, Cameron.”

“Deal.” He winked, stealing a quick kiss on your temple.

As the credits rolled and the theater lights slowly came on, you stretched your arms above your head, trying to shake off the stiffness from sitting for two hours. The group shuffled out of their seats, JJ loudly debating with John B about the "most iconic moment" in the movie while Sarah and Kiara chimed in with their own opinions.

You weren’t paying much attention, though. Your focus was on Rafe, who’d been surprisingly quiet during the movie, his hand casually resting on your thigh for most of it. Every now and then, you’d caught him glancing at you instead of the screen, though he played it off whenever you turned to meet his gaze.

The cool night air greeted you as you stepped out of the theater, the city alive with its usual buzz. You pulled Rafe’s hoodie tighter around you, already feeling the chill sink in.

“You cold?” Rafe asked, stepping closer.

“A little,” you admitted, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

Without another word, he slid his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. The gesture was so natural, so un-Rafe in its quiet thoughtfulness, that you almost didn’t know how to react.

“You’re lucky I let you pick the movie,” he teased, his voice low and warm against your ear.

“You didn’t let me do anything,” you countered, glancing up at him. “I just won, like I always do.”

“Debatable,” he shot back, though his grin betrayed his amusement.

The group paused near the sidewalk, debating where to go next. JJ was rallying for a late-night diner run, while Sarah and Kiara wanted to head home. You stood back with Rafe, content to let them figure it out.

Rafe nudged you lightly. “What’d you think of the movie?”

You smirked. “I loved it, obviously. It’s called having good taste. You should try it sometime.”

“Careful,” he warned, his tone playful. “Or I might change my mind about letting you pick next time.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed. “We both know you’ll cave again.”

Rafe stared at you for a moment, his smirk softening into something gentler. His arm slipped from your shoulders, and before you could protest, he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Okay, I’ll admit it,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “You were right. It was a good pick.”

You blinked up at him, caught off guard by the sudden sincerity. “Is this your way of saying I have good taste?”

“Don’t push it,” he said, though his grin gave him away.

Before you could respond, JJ called out, breaking the moment. “Ayo, Rafe! Quit making googly eyes with your wife and help me convince them to hit the diner!”

Rafe groaned, rolling his eyes. “This guy…”

You laughed, tugging on his hand. “C’mon, we should at least hear him out. You do owe me for taking so long earlier.”

His eyes lit up. “You’re not letting that go, are you?”

“Never,” you said with a grin, leading him toward the group.

As the group finally parted ways—JJ still grumbling about the lack of a diner stop—you and Rafe headed back to his car. The ride was quiet, the city lights casting soft glows through the windows as the hum of the engine filled the space.

Rafe rested one hand on the steering wheel, his other hand perched casually on your thigh, a touch he hadn’t bothered to remove since the movie started. You glanced at him, his profile sharp under the streetlights, and felt your thighs rub against each other. You hated how effortlessly sexy he looked, even when he was doing something as mundane as driving.

When he pulled into the parking garage of his building, you expected him to make a teasing comment about how you’d owe him for letting you win the movie argument. Instead, he turned off the engine, sat back, and looked at you, his blue eyes flickering with something unreadable.

“What?” you asked, feigning nonchalance, though your voice betrayed the way your heart had started to race.

“Nothing,” he said, though the way his lips curled into a slow, dangerous smirk told a different story. “Just thinking about how much I want to fuck you right now.”

Your breath hitched, but you rolled your eyes, trying to play it cool. “Is that your way of saying you’re admitting defeat? Again?”

“Defeat?” he repeated, his voice dropping an octave as he leaned closer, his hand still warm and steady on your thigh. “Baby, you have no idea who’s about to win.”

Before you could reply, he closed the distance, his lips crashing onto yours with a mix of urgency and purpose. His hands cupped your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping against yours in a way that made your head spin.

You barely registered the sound of the car door closing behind you or the way he guided you toward the elevator, his lips never leaving yours. By the time the elevator doors slid open to his penthouse, you were breathless, his hands gripping your waist as he walked you backward into the living room.

“Rafe,” you murmured against his lips, your fingers tangling in his hair.

“What, baby?” he hummed, his lips moving to trail kisses along your jawline and down your neck.

“We—” Your words dissolved into a gasp as he nipped at the sensitive spot just below your ear. “We’re home,” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Exactly,” he muttered against your skin, his hands sliding down to grip your hips and pull you flush against him. “And no one’s here to interrupt us.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but Rafe silenced you with another searing kiss, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of the hoodie you were wearing—his hoodie. The warmth of his touch against your skin sent a shiver down your spine, and any coherent thought you had vanished entirely.

His hands on your body were all you were thinking about. It was so addictive. 

He was laying you down on the couch, taking your—his—hoodie off your body, then your crop-top. “You’re so fucking pretty. My wife,” his thumb ran over your hard nipples as he rapidly took your black bra off, throwing it god-knows-where in the living room. “Mine to fuck,” he bit down on your nipple. “Mine to ruin.”

His hand slid lower, slipping beneath the waistband of your pants, fingertips teasing the edge of your soaked panties. A shiver raced through you as his touch lingered, deliberate and torturously slow. By now, you couldn’t bring yourself to care how desperate, how utterly undone you sounded. Each broken moan and shaky breath betrayed how much you craved him, how badly you needed him. Nothing else mattered but this moment.

“Please, Rafe… please…”

“What, baby? What do you want?

Before you could even muster a response, his hand was already slipping beneath your panties. His fingers found your sensitive bud effortlessly, stroking it with deliberate, teasing motions that sent jolts of pleasure coursing through you. A soft moan escaped your lips, your body instinctively arching into his touch as if it was second nature—a dance the two of you had performed countless times before.

He watched you intently, his eyes dark and smoldering, drinking in every gasp, every shiver you gave him. Slowly, he brought his glistening fingers to his lips, tasting you with a deliberate flick of his tongue. 

“Fuck! I could taste you for a thousand years and still be so obsessed after all those years,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, his gaze never leaving yours as he savored every bit of you like it was a privilege. “You got no idea how fucking obsessed I am with you, baby.”

He didn’t waste a single moment, his hands working to tug your pants down before tearing through the delicate lace of your panties with a sharp rip.

“Rafe!” you exclaimed, a mix of frustration and disbelief in your tone. “Those were expensive!”

He only smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief as he let the ruined fabric fall to the floor. “I’ll buy you a dozen more,” he promised, his voice dark and dripping with desire.

Without hesitation, Rafe’s tongue found your swollen folds, his movements deliberate yet desperate, as if savoring every tremor of your oversensitive body. The sharp gasp that escaped your lips was like music to him, fueling his obsession with every intoxicating second of pleasuring you.

“God, Rafe!” you cried out, your voice trembling as the tension inside you threatened to snap. “I-I’m so close… gonna explode!”

He groaned against you, the sound vibrating through your core as his tongue flattened, dragging languidly across your slick heat. His rhythm was unhurried, teasing yet relentless, each stroke chasing away the weight of the outside world, grounding him in this moment with you. “You taste so good, babe,” he murmured, his lips brushing your sensitive skin.

“You like that, huh?” he rasped, his voice heavy with need as he nipped at you softly, savoring your helpless writhing. “You like riding my face, don’t you, sweetheart? Taking what you need like this?”

Your hips bucked involuntarily, and a broken moan escaped you. “Y-yes! Fuck, yes!”

A dark chuckle rumbled in his chest as he held you tighter, his grip possessive. “This is all I could think of while we were watching the movie,” his hand tracing a path down your chest, he brushed over your nipples, a deliberate pinch causing a sharp gasp to escape you. “The sound of your moans, the way your pussy tastes, imagining myself between your legs... I couldn't stop thinking about it.”

Your body was writhing beneath him, every subtle arch and tremble betraying just how close you were. The way your breath hitched, your cries growing sharper and more desperate, told Rafe everything he needed to know—you were teetering on the edge. His voice dropped into a low, coaxing growl, his lips brushing against your ear.

"That's it, baby," he murmured, his tone both commanding and soothing, a mix of rough encouragement and deep affection. "Let go for me. Cum for me, beautiful."

And just like that, hot pleasure ran through you like lightning, body trembling as you came all over your husband’s pretty face. As the blood roaring in your ears bates, and you blink back your vision, the first thing you see are those familiar blue eyes gazing up at you. Holding you steady, lips brushing gentle kisses along your inner thighs. 

You must have done something right in your past life to have him as your partner.

He pulled back, his lips glistening with the evidence of what he’d just done, and gazed up at you with that trademark smirk—the one that made your heart race and your blood boil in equal measure. As you struggled to catch your breath, he chuckled low in his throat, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction.

"The only time you stop running that smart mouth of yours," he drawled, his eyes dark and playful, "is when I’m buried between your thighs. Not so sassy now, huh, baby?"

Your chest heaved as you processed his words, heat flooding your cheeks. Rolling your eyes, you shoved at his shoulder with your foot, a laugh bubbling past your lips despite your best efforts to stay annoyed.

"I hate you," you shot back, though the corners of your mouth betrayed you, curving into a smile.

He shook his head slowly, the smirk softening into something dangerously close to fondness as he leaned in. Pressing a trail of lazy kisses along your body, working his way from your navel to the hollow of your throat, he murmured against your skin.

"Sure you do..."

You’re catching your breath, trying to steady yourself, when Rafe begins to undress. His gaze doesn’t waver from you as he pulls off his clothes, revealing his sculpted muscles and toned physique. Every inch of him is perfect, his body chiseled and taut, like something crafted from stone. Even the sight of his cock, already leaking with arousal, makes your breath catch in your throat. He’s so hard, it almost feels wrong—like you should apologize for how badly he wants you.

With ease, he spreads your thighs apart, his hands firm yet gentle. "Missionary, so we can keep arguing?" he repeats, teasing you about something you’d said earlier on social media. The words echo in your ears, and a blush rises to your cheeks.

His body leans down toward yours, and his hand grips your hips, holding you in place as the other strokes your cheek with tenderness that contrasts the raw hunger in his eyes. Slowly, deliberately, he sinks into you, inch by inch, a steady rhythm that makes your heart race. You’ve been with him enough times to know the feeling, but each time is different—he stretches you just right, filling you completely, making you gasp.

Perhaps it was because he knew exactly how to touch you, how to make every moment feel electric, or maybe it was the deeper connection you felt with him that stirred something inside you. The way your feelings for him took root and grew, so intense. It was as if he wasn’t just a man you were with—he overwhelmed you, consumed you completely, leaving no room for anything else.

“Shit, Rafe! It’s too much,” you whined, nails raking down his back. 

Rafe’s pace slowed just enough for you to feel every thrust in excruciating detail, and you couldn't help but moan at the feeling. But then, as if on cue, he smirked. "You know," he started, his voice low and teasing, "this whole ‘too much’ thing? Kinda sounds like you’re not enjoying it."

You rolled your eyes, trying to bite back a grin despite the rising heat between you. "Are you seriously talking about this right now?" you shot back, the words almost slipping from your lips in frustration. "You’re the one who—"

"Who what?" He cut you off, his thrusts picking up again, harder, deeper, forcing the words to die in your throat. "Who made you this wet?" He grinned at your flustered expression. "I think you’re enjoying it just fine."

“Y-you’re so… ah… full of yourself," you muttered, though the words come out weaker than you intended.

Rafe chuckled darkly, brushing his thumb over your lower lip. "You love it," he said with that same smug smirk. "You can’t get enough of me, can you?"

"Shut up, Cameron," you snapped, trying to push past the wave of pleasure that clouds your thoughts. "You think you’re so perfect, but—"

"Perfect, huh?" He suddenly stopped, his eyes narrowing playfully. "You really want to keep arguing while I’m literally inside you?"

The tone of his voice shifted, becoming possessive, and you felt his grip on your waist tighten as he pulled you closer, forcing you to feel every inch of him. "I’m not—fuck—perfect, but I know what you want."

You exhaled sharply, trying to suppress a moan. "You’re annoying," you bit out, though there’s no real malice in your words.

Rafe laughed, his lips brushing your ear. "I know." He gave you one more slow, deep thrust, and you couldn’t help but gasp. "But you love it." 

You glared at him, your body still trembling from his movements. 

[fuck-customers]

I can tolerate helping customers with technology things that are specific to my store. Such as how to connect to the wifi (you have request to connect on your settings and then a popup will appear that asks you to put in your email + name to use the wifi. I just tell people to put "No No no@no.com" It is admittedly slightly complex) or how to navigate the store's website. It can get annoying and repetitive, but I can tolerate it because these are things that are specific to my job/store, so the general public would not organically know these things.

However it is not part of my job, nor will I make it part of my job to teach you how to use your own phone, including, but not limited to:

-walking you through step-by-step on how to access a website. And I mean "go to your browser. Well what browser so you have on your phone? Firefox? Chrome? Chrome is the one that looks like the Simon game. Firefox has a fox on the logo, hence the name. Ok go to the address bar. The address bar at the top of the page. That long horizontal white rectangle at the top of the page. The TOP of the page." Etc etc

-walking you through how to download an app in the same fashion as the above bullet. If you don't know what the app store is, you don't get the coupon. Sorry. I'm entirely too burnt out for this shit.

-straight up handling YOUR phone??? Hello? Do not hand me your phone. I don't know you or where you or your phone have been. I will not be touching it.

-similar to the last point: taking a screenshot/teaching you how to take a screenshot on YOUR phone? I'm not a tech wiz, but I think it's different based on what make+model of phone you have and I can't tell what kind of phone it is just by looking at it. And more importantly, I don't want to, nor do I get paid enough to.

-what your password is?? For your app or email? How the actual fuck am I supposed to know that? I don't even know you, but I somehow know your password? Based on the intelligence you're currently displaying, I would assume your password must be "ABCD1234"

There's probably more that I'm forgetting. I could kind of understand these if I was a tech support person or worked in a technology-based store, but I work in a regular ass store. The only connection we have to technology is that we have registers and phones in the store.

On iPhone The address bar is on the bottom in Safari.

But seriously I tell them I am not allowed to touch their phone per company policy. If they ask why that's a policy (and for some reason they all do) I say "a cashier once dropped the customers phone and the store won't pay to repair it, so to keep that from happening again we are not allowed to touch it."

C: "but the last one did it for me."

Me: If they want to break policy and risk their job that's on them but I can't afford to get fired."

-Rodney

[stillness-in-green]

why do you think Deku never tried to talk to Shigaraki? doylist reason is obvious but what's the watsonian reason?

Honestly, this one’s pretty tricky to answer.  It’s very hard to get myself into the headspace of Deku (and the people in his own headspace!)—mainly because I get extremely uncharitable, extremely quickly.  Mainly about Horikoshi, yes, but that does extend to Deku, too, as well as the broader world he lives in.

The brain goes immediately to answers like, “His world is so incredibly slanted towards retributive models of justice that the fact that he even thinks about wanting to know Shigaraki’s motivations makes him a candidate for mad sainthood to the people around him.  The fact that he doesn’t follow that impulse through all the way to actually asking is immaterial; while Villains have to be punished for their actions, for Heroes, it’s the thought that counts.”

See how I’m already drifting back towards meta-narrative analysis at the end there?  Deku brings a lot of that out in me, especially from Villain Hunt onwards.  Like the wooden doll he’s named for, he comes off to me as a vessel for the plot to happen through more than he does a consistently written, well-thought-out character.  Trying to think of him through a purely Watsonian lens—no refences made at all, period, to what I think the story was trying to express or what Horikoshi’s intentions towards that story were—I almost immediately jump the tracks into territory that is all but certainly incompatible with what I was “supposed” to take away from MHA as a story.

But, you did ask, so I’ll follow the thought experiment through.  If I were to try and set down to paper an explanation for Deku’s actions from a purely in-universe stance—say, for writing canon compliant post-series fanfic—what would be my explanation?

(Hit the jump.)

Right off the bat, from a cultural perspective, I think Deku is afraid that if he tries to make excuses for Shigaraki, it would be disrespectful to Shigaraki’s victims.  That’s why you get the heroic characters constant harping on about how they can’t forgive the Villains, even though, as adjuncts to the police, “forgiveness” is utterly immaterial to them doing their jobs.  Too much sympathy for criminals, in some peoples’ eyes, becomes indicative of a lack of proper regard for the victims of crime; this is very much a dynamic in play in Japan’s legal system.[1]  Ochaco initially has the same impulse, where she’s terrified that even thinking about Toga Himiko’s human circumstances puts her in danger of forgetting the suffering Toga and the League brought about.

1: That’s a meta consideration, yes, but one that I think the target audience would understand to be implicit in the canon as written, so I’m treating it as a Watsonian detail.

Ochaco and Deku commiserate and ultimately encourage each other to embrace their desire to understand their respective Villains, which leads to Ochaco talking to Toga at some length!  Ochaco must do this because asking Toga these questions if the only way she has to reach that understanding.  Deku does not have to ask, however, because he has a cheatmode to fall back on: the mindscape shared between All For One and One For All.  If Deku thinks too much open communication with Villains risks dishonoring Shigaraki’s victims, well, he doesn’t have to openly communicate.  He doesn’t have to talk to Shigaraki the person at all.  He just has to find that crying little boy in the mindscape again.

I also think it’s notable that Deku very much does stop talking about wanting to save Shigaraki after he talks to Gran Torino.  From that point on, everything he says about Shigaraki becomes about wanting to understand him instead.  Coupled with the idea that he insists upon not forgiving Shigaraki, I get the sense that what Deku wants is not to help Shigaraki at all, but rather to simply bear witness to his truth.  And even that much feels self-serving to me—as if Deku doesn’t care so much that Shigaraki is in pain, but rather that Shigaraki might have a point, that Shigaraki’s pain might be valid.  Shigaraki having a valid point would destabilize everything Deku believes about Heroes and Hero Society, and Deku has, by that point, seen enough that he’s too upright to look away, to “sweep things back under the rug,” so he has to find out Shigaraki’s story to judge it for himself.

The fact that he feels he has the right to judge Shigaraki’s story speaks to the arrogance of Heroes—the same arrogance that leads them to declare their lack of forgiveness as if it’s in some way relevant to doing the job in front of them—as well as a deeply rooted defensiveness: that they must have, and be perceived as having, the moral high ground over those evil Villains.  I think, for example, of the Flamin’ Sidekickers and their cringingly awkward self-justifications to Dabi about their continued association with Todoroki Enji.  Their reasoning has zero bearing on either Dabi’s pain or their own heroic responsibilities to assist in the arrest of a known murderer/terrorist/arsonist, but they feel the need to spell that reasoning out to the child abuse victim/volatile Villain anyway, seemingly for no in-character reason save to rationalize the deep discomfort that Dabi’s video accusations provoked in them.

Heroes must be seen as morally just—this is the whole basis for the authority they’ve been granted to wield their powers against other people.  Best Jeanist talks about this idea explicitly, as does Police Chief Tsuragamae.  Far more damningly, it’s what led to the HPSC using agents like Lady Nagant and Hawks to quietly dispose of anyone that would present a threat to the public image of Heroes and, by extension, the fragile peace that rests on that public image.

Heroes must be pure and righteous, and Deku is just as apt to believe that as any other Hero—maybe even more apt, given that he’s also had All Might leaning on him about the bearer of One For All being the Pillar and the Symbol of Peace.  All this baggage winds up conflicting, however, with the horror and reflexive need to help Deku feels upon seeing the small, crying child within Shigaraki.

Saving small crying children is the absolute, innermost core of Deku’s personal framing of Heroism—seriously, he says this nearly word-for-word in Chapter 1!—and so, like Shouji says of the heteromorph riot, it isn’t something he can ignore and still call himself a Hero.  He’s unprepared for that personal brand of Heroism to conflict with the demands of professional Heroism, because he never expected to face someone who was both Evil Villain and Crying Child at the same time.  This is what he wrestles with over the course of his time away from UA and why, ultimately, he decides to use the mindscape as a way of resolving the conflict.

(Note again that I'm talking about my fanfic explanation here. Deku's reasoning is much murkier in the canon because of the canon's late turn towards locking us hard out of Deku's personal feelings and thoughts when they're about anything more complex than chain OFA combo moves.)

Remember that Deku begins the Villain Hunt Arc with a tentative desire to “understand Villains” so that he can perhaps use that understanding to avert or at least deescalate conflicts with them—and then the very first Villain he falteringly tries to understand is fucking Muscular, who shuts him down cold.  Deku never tries that hard[2] to understand a Villain again—Lady Nagant dumps her backstory on him with very little prompting from him, he has nothing but ultimatums for Overhaul, he doesn’t seem to ask any of AFO’s other minions any personal questions whatsoever, and with Shigaraki, he goes straight to the mindscape instead of even attempting a dialogue.

2: Insomuch as you could call asking three invasive, judgy questions in the middle of combat and then throwing in the towel “trying hard”.

My take is that Muscular scared him off of trying to verbally uncover the backstories of Villains—even though Shigaraki is ready to all but hand the first Hero to ask an illustrated history of his grievances with Hero Society, Deku can’t trust that anything Shigaraki tells him will be the unvarnished truth.  Unlike Shouto, he has no one to corroborate the truth with, but unlike Uraraka, he doesn’t just have to make the best of it, either.  He can instead utilize the mindscape, an approach that sidesteps all of the issues that a spoken dialogue would entail:

Getting Shigaraki’s truth via the mindscape means he can trust the answers he gets, rather than having to filter those answers through Shigaraki’s warped worldview.  This allows him to honestly evaluate Shigaraki’s perspective, gauging whether Shigaraki has a real point that Deku has any responsibility to address, some injustice that needs to be corrected independently of Shigaraki being held accountable for his crimes.    

Having decided that—for reasons of justice, All Might’s Pillar mentality, and his own peace of mind—he has to know Shigaraki’s truth, Deku comes to feel self-righteously entitled to that truth.  Thus, even though Shigaraki always seemed perfectly willing to share his thoughts in their previous encounters, Deku can’t take the chance that he’ll change his mind and rebuff Deku like Muscular did.  Using the mindscape takes that agency away from Shigaraki, rendering his willingness to share moot.    

No one other than people with access to the shared mindscape can perceive the interactions happening within it.  This means that, no matter what Deku learns or how he reacts to it in the moment, he doesn’t risk being seen as disrespecting Shigaraki’s victims by prioritizing the feelings and perspective of a vicious terrorist.    

Finally, on a tactical note, the encounter Deku has with Shigaraki in the mindscape during the Jakku battle seems to happen nigh instantaneously.  If he can get his answers at the speed of thought, that means he doesn’t have to specifically draw out his battle with Shigaraki until he’s resolved things to his personal satisfaction.  This is ideal, since Shigaraki presents an incredibly dangerous threat to everything and everyone around him, and Deku’s Hero education has repeatedly emphasized the importance of ending battles quickly.

There's just one problem with all this: Deku is assuming access to Shigaraki’s mind.  And why wouldn’t he?  He got in there without even trying last time, after all!  I assume that’s also why he rolls up to the battle with zero plans of any kind: he doesn’t understand how the mechanics of the shared mindscape work and none of the prior bearers can advise him because it’s a brand-new phenomenon for him as the ninth bearer, so they’re just as clueless about it as he is. 

Lacking that knowledge, he opts to simply take it on faith that he’ll be able to access that mental space again, find the crying child in it, and uncover enough about Shigaraki’s history to render his own judgement of it.  He's the Deku who does his best, after all; if it doesn't work, at least he'll know he tried. The good faith attempt, however it turns out, will allow him to satisfy his own sense of justice while not interfering with whatever temporal justice the adult Heroes are planning for Shigaraki—to which Deku fully believes he must be subjected as punishment for his crimes!—be it arrest or an execution broadcast to the entire world.

Unfortunately for Deku, thanks to his being waylaid by Toga, he turns up late to the battle only to find Shigaraki’s psyche sealed up tighter than an All Might-themed wall safe.  Then, since he never had any kind of plan for talking to Shigaraki, and his own ability to plan things is strictly limited to combining quirk abilities on the fly, he has to wing it until Kudou is able to come up with a plan for him.  Naturally, because Kudou is Kudou, and Heroes’ solutions are tailored to Heroes’ strengths, this involves violent psychic assault.  And why not?  It’s not like Deku believes Shigaraki deserves the mercy of a gentler approach.  Just think of all those people he hurt!

Now, is this all heckin’ uncharitable?  Does it paint Deku as well-intended but blindly self-righteous and ethically timid? Oh, for sure.  And I do think there was a point at which Deku wanted to save Shigaraki in a truer sense—indeed, he’s quite plain-spoken about it in the OFA Mental Conference in the aftermath of the first war!  However, it’s absolutely within his established characterization to run into things that make him uneasy and take the first out an authority figure offers him that spares him the work of demolishing and rebuilding his entire world view.  Look no further than the aftermath of the mall scene. You can draw a straight line from Deku taking Tsukauchi's out (that Shigaraki is just a sore loser) to him also taking Gran's (that killing Shigaraki could be a way of saving him).

That’s the mentality I would lean on to explain Deku’s anemic efforts to truly save Shigaraki in the end: an inherent desire to help people that has been hamstrung by a learned dehumanization of Villains, a repeated emphasis on swift, unthinking action as a Heroic virtue, a culture that regards sympathy for those involved in a crime as a zero sum game, and, last but not least, a psychological complex about the basic nature of Heroism rooted in his fraught childhood.

Deku says he’ll “never forget” Shigaraki. If it were me writing the sequel, “never forgetting” would look an awful lot like, “Following a particularly frustrating day of the Pro Hero grind, Midoriya Izuku opens his eyes at 4AM one cold winter night in his early-40s with the horrible, inescapable realization that what he did as a teenager to a deeply victimized young man barely older than he was himself back then was fucked up in ways he can never repair or take back.  And further that now, not only is he going to have to spend the rest of his life trying to make up for that act, it’s going to be much, much harder than it would have been back then, specifically because he did what he did back then and let the world get away with calling it heroism.”

Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you find the answer interesting and at least somewhat believable, for all that it certainly isn't tonally in-line with the story's portrayal of its much-lauded protagonist.

   

(P.S. On top of convincing both All Might and Deku to not pursue saving Shigaraki in any concrete sense, Gran Torino also takes partial credit for Nana's decision to abandon Kotarou. Torino Sorahiko might actually be the all-time world champion of convincing OFA bearers that preserving One For All is worth abandoning children to their grim fates. Give him a hand, everyone. What a great and admirable Hero who absolutely deserved to survive all the way to the end of the story and who definitely is not a symbol of all the most jaded and cynical priorities of the old order.)

[mikeyisbrooklyn]

Kept ya waiting, huh? Miss me?

Hoo boy, I think this is longer than both parts prior, at least it felt longer. (Speaking of, read both parts here: 1 2)

Feels good to get back to writing (three week sudden hiatus who? not me, haha please laugh). But with that said, let’s skip the foreplay and get straight to it, yeah?

Tags: @on-a-lucky-tide @etanesnil @jgvfhl @roachs-pet-roach

CW: mentions of sex (oral and anal) and gym injuries

Enjoy!

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (3)

Eight weeks came and went, and unfortunately for Price, mind-numbingly so. In the first week, after enough grinning and bearing it and letting Nik pamper him (Price did not have to force himself to accept the expensive as hell cigars and whiskey), the pilot finally stopped hovering around him like he was a porcelain doll centimeters from the ledge. Weeks two and three consisted of what Price could only call tooth-rotting domesticity. The only meals Nik didn’t home make, were five coursers he had some American bloke fly in to make from them. There was more than a few instances of near quiet between Price and Nik—filled only by ambient sounds from inside the house like water flowing through pipes and outside like chirping birds and light winds—that never veered towards awkward, only peaceful. One morning, Price was (forcibly) carried to a beautiful garden out back where he lit up while Nik read, leading to Price resting his head onto Nik’s shoulder with Nik’s free hand idly carding through his hair.

The serenity of the moment was almost enough to convince Price it was a good thing he wasn’t back in his office working to catch the slippery bastard that evaded them, without nearly getting himself and his men killed this time. The peace almost made him forget that if he hadn’t fucked up so colossally, Nik wouldn’t have to be benched and wouldn’t have to be subtly checking him every other second like he was waiting for Price to keel over. The sappy romance of it all almost made him believe he deserved things so easy and pure.

Almost.

For all the endearing sincerity of the domestic moments, there were more than a few…erotic ones that Price was more than willing to allow as distractions. When a gaggle of men came by for landscaping, one tall, fit lad—a man with skin smooth as marble the shade of mahogany and half Price’s age—had taken off his shirt in the heat, revealing abs Price couldn’t have even dreamed of at his best. It caught Price’s eye from the window, of course, and though he knew he couldn’t be less interested, some people are impossible to look away from. Nik also noticed the man, but more so, he noticed how the man winked at Price once he had been staring for longer than 30 full seconds. When the Russian went outside, Price was half afraid (and half turned on) that Nik would break the lad’s jaw. Instead, he took off his own top and got to work with the law men. It’s not as if Price had anything else to do but even if he did, he was fully glued to the window by this point, forgetting all else but the powerful body obviously showing off for him. Price was all but literally drooling and knew exactly where he wanted to quench his thirst.

Later that night Nik was more than willing to give Price what he needed. There was never a question, but Price himself was more than willing to ensure Nik who he belonged to if the way he screamed his name was any indicator. Though, frustratingly, even sex couldn’t entirely distract Price from the war in his head as he could tell Nik was much gentler with him physically due to his leg. Nik valiantly attempted to mask it as another way to pamper Price but he could feel the restraint.

He didn’t intend it to, but it made Price pull away from Nik—not literally, the jaws of life couldn’t pry him away from that warm, fuzzy chest—it didn’t feel right to encourage Nik’s coddling of him. The pilot clearly meant no harm, but Price could feel the strain he was putting on his partner. So, Price stayed quiet as they caught their breath and did his damndest to hurry to sleep, maybe then he wouldn’t be stressing Nik out so much.

Week four was when Price started going to physical therapy. Nik gave him what he thinks are words of encouragement on the first ride to the therapist’s office. It was sweet but if anything heightened Price’s nerves. If he didn’t do well in physical therapy, they would likely extend his leave. The thought shook him to his core.

In reality, PT was dreadfully uneventful. The first few sessions were simple joint and motor control exercises—swinging his leg and rolling his knee, that kind of stuff. There was, disappointingly, still some soreness and discomfort in many spots. It shouldn’t have disappointed Price, he knew he wasn’t gonna walk any time soon, but still, knowing he was crutch bound was annoying to say the least.

Weeks five and six saw real progress being made. With every PT session he felt more and more comfortable using his leg, though he still couldn’t stand on it and apply very much pressure at all, it was better than he was before. The therapist attributed it to the rest Price was getting more than the exercises but Price wouldn’t tell Nik that lest the Russian go full nurse on him again and never let him leave his bed.

Speaking of, even with Price’s steadily increasing mobility, Nik was not seeming to get any less vigilant. It’s like he was waiting on Price to fall at any given moment. Price wanted to believe the man was just over worrying out of concern but he knew what Nik knew—that Price was a liability now—so he only went above and beyond in his exercises. Needed to prove him wrong. Needed to get better. If he hurt himself a little then no one had to know, especially as he mastered hiding his winces.

Week seven saw Price getting beyond antsy; as besides physical therapy, he had not left the house in weeks. Normally without work to focus on, he could go fishing, hit a pub, or hit a gym. Though right this instant, he knew he needed more physical activity than fishing could offer and he had ample liquor at his disposal thanks to Nik and still needed to get out of the damn house; so, gym it was. Nik initially wasn’t fully convinced it was a good idea, even after Price promised to stay light on his leg like the physical therapist ordered and focus his arms and chest. But Price did remember his mum joking with her friends about the three ways to a man’s heart—so after a full dinner, half a bottle of vodka, and a few minutes with his head between Nik’s legs, Price had managed to crack the Russian.

The gym was thus far the only thing to get him out of his head and keep him out. Something about the burn of each muscle as he worked it gave him something to hone in on. It certainly helped when Nik would join him and give him a sight to see. Watching the Russian throw weight around didn’t just give Price a problem in his joggers, but it was nice to see that Nik was still, well, Nik.

The Nik strong enough to hop out of his heli to help Price carry men too wounded to walk on their own was the same Nik repping 50kg bicep curls like it was nothing. The Nik so ready for anything he brought bags to dispose of bodies in an alley before Price had even asked was the same Nik that had his bag packed with spare clothes and protein bars and their water bottles already filled for the gym this morning before Price left the bed. The Nik who got the perfect arsenal fit just for Price like he could read his mind was the same Nik who not so subtly laid claim to a machine in the corner of the building, somewhere he knew Price wouldn’t be interrupted and could focus.

Seeing Nik still be Nik, even with Price crippled and burdensome as he was, felt like a pressure lifted off his ribcage—and he didn’t mean the barbell he was absentmindedly lifting off his chest. Maybe this is exactly what Price needed after all; to get out of his head, to see that he wasn’t some corruptive force, ruining his partner. Maybe he could just be a bloke who shattered his leg with a lover who jumped at the opportunity to care for him. The thought was…was nice. Maybe he could have this nice thi—

Price let out a strained yelp as the barbell came crashing down onto his chest. If he had been paying attention—or had a bloody spotter—he would’ve noticed his left wrist wobbling before it gave out. Guess he wasn’t as much out of his head as he thought. Luckily, he caught the weight before it fully crushed his torso but the sharp pain and winded sensation he felt confirmed that it was only just barely. Instinctively, Price rolled the weight to one side and ducked to the other, ending up arse over tea kettle next to the bench he had been on catching his breath with the bar rolling away.

At the sound, Nik turned and saw the state of Price—now flat on his back, eyes shut tight in pain and clutching his chest. “Chert voz’mi!” He threw the weight he was in the midst of lifting down and hurried over to Price’s prone form. “Mishka! Jonathan, what happened, are you alright?”

Price forced his eyes open and saw that wretched worry had made its way back onto Nik’s face. Price groaned and turned to roll over, whether in pain or embarrassment he wasn’t sure, but was stopped by two large warm hands on his shoulder.

“Nyet! Do not move!” Nik started feeling across Price’s body, clearly looking for wounds or blood. A large bruise was already forming in the space between his clavicle and left pectoral. “Blyat! I knew we should not have come here. I am no medic. Here, I will carry you to car, let a doctor see—“

“No!” Price stubbornly rolled away, forgetting about his still recovering leg and groaned in pain. Nik shouted his name and came over to him but Price kept his eyes screwed shut and stopped fighting, knowing that he looked more and more like a foolish brat or a stunted dunce rolling around on the gym floor with a fractured leg after nearly offing himself. The irony of this being the second time in as many months that his poor judgement was nearly his demise. No wonder Nik was looking at him like he was frail little thing as he scooped him into his arms.

There were a few worried gym goers and an attendee even offered to call an ambulance for Price, but Nik just held him tighter to his chest and waved them off as he carried Price and their bags back to the car. After carefully setting Price into the passenger seat and buckling him in, Nik took no time to buckle up himself and take off. Price finally turned over to look at Nik, the pilot visibly stressed.

“Nik, please, just—. ‘M fin—“

“You are NOT fine!” Nik yelled out a growl. Price’s eyes widened as he couldn’t recall the last time Nik had raised his voice at him, barring once in a club in Bosnia with speakers that apparently couldn’t be lowered under three thousand or so decibles. “You—you, I…” He was stuttering, and Price pretended he couldn’t see the way his lip quivered because there was no way he was actually seeing that—he would not believe it.

“Alright, ‘m not fine, yer right.” Price cut Nik off this time, “‘M all fuckin wrong but please don’t take me to the bloody doc. Please.” He put his hand on Nik’s forearm to get him to look him in the eye. Nik had a face between a kicked puppy and a rankled coyote.

Nik turned away and seemed to fight himself in his head before pulling off to the side of the road. “If I cannot take you to the hospital then who?”

“Who?”

“Who will care for you?” Nik looked at him like it was the most obvious thing. The Russian dragged a hand through his hair, “I know you do not like hospitals, that is why I took you in. Somewhere nice, or I had hoped. But you hate it there.”

“Nik, I don—“

“You do. You can not wait to leave it. And I understand, it does not suit you. So while there I try to distract you but you are always—your mind, it is elsewhere.”

“Nik—“

“Jonathan, I want to help but I am clearly not! You are hurt and I can do nothing but make it worse and I am sorry. Who—“ He took a deep, wet breath. “Who can I take you to that will take care of you better? Please tell me, rodnoy, I can handle it.”

Price hardly recognized the question. Too caught up on…on how wrecked Nik sounded, as if when the weight crashed on Price chest it was Nik that was crushed instead. Did…did Price make him feel this way? Fuck.

“Nik, I—fuck me…” Price rubbed his face with his hands as he let out a strained breath. “I— don’t think there’s anyone in the world who can take care of me, if ‘m honest.”

Nik became visibly more distressed at this. If there was ever a wrong thing to say to his emotionally devastated partner, count on John Price to find it. Price stuck a hand out before Nik could react.

“What I mean is—I’m not one to be cared for in the first place. You won’t find someone ‘better’ to care for me. So why don’t you just take a deep breath and take me back to the house, eh? You could ice my chest, check my leg—hell, even read me a bedtime story if you want.”

“That is—but you are not happy.”

“Of course ‘m not! I’ve been benched almost two months now! Never thought I’d miss paperwork this much. But it’s almost over, I’ve been counting the bloody days so I know it’s almost over. Then we’ll be back to normal.” I won’t be a damn burden anymore is what Price almost finished with.

“You counted th—right. Da, of course, you counted.” Nik let out a sigh. Frustratingly, Price could tell it wasn’t one of relief but he couldn’t tell what it was. “Okay. No hospital. But I will read you bedtime story.” And like that, he was back to normal.

Well, normal enough. Price could tell there was something there, but frankly, his chest hurt like hell and he’s all emotionally tuckered out, so he’ll look into it later if he needs to. “Knew I shouldn’t’a made that bedtime story joke.” Price grumbled but with no heat in his tone.

“Too late. As the sergeant would say, ‘no takesbacksies’.” Nik grinned to himself as he drove back onto the road. “Let me think, ah! Da, I know the perfect story: the Itsy Bitsy Spider.”

“Oh bloody hell!” Price groaned.

By week eight, Price was all but literally bouncing off the wall—only because if he were, it’d definitely fuck up his leg. Nik actually walked with him into hospital, not wanting to be a part after having to give Price space during the PT sessions. Sessions that Price got full marks on, much to his pride. Now it was just a matter of Dr. Omar giving a second approving opinion and final verdict. He felt like he was being court martial���d.

After a nurse kindly guided them to an empty room, Price sat in the bed—an uncharacteristic anxiety rolling off him. Nik next to him tighten his grip on Price’s hand and brought it to his lips.

“You will be fine, Mishka. Even if the good doctor advises more leave time, you will not die.”

Price dismissively harrumphed. “Agree to disagree.”

Dr. Omar didn’t keep them waiting too much longer. “Good morning, Captain Price, Mr. Nikolai.” She walked in clipboard in hand. Her tone was light and her face neutral; Price attempted to decipher if that was a good sign or not.

“Good morning, good doctor!” Nik greeted with a firm handshake.

“Mornin’ doc. Got good news for me?” Price cut straight to the point. He felt Nik tug on his hand, almost like a silent rebuke. Price did not acknowledge it.

“Always business with you, Captain.” She smiled, holding in a chuckle. “I understand, I can only imagine you’ve been itching to get back in the field.”

“More than you could ever know.”

“Well, then yes, I have good news.” She looked back at her clipboard. “According to this, you’ve been an excellent patient for the physical therapist.”

“You sound shocked. ‘Ave I been that bad a patient for you?” Price said, finally cracking a smirk of his own.

“It’d be unethical to lie to you and unprofessional to answer that question the way I’d like so I’ll plead the fifth, Captain.

At that, Nik got a hearty chuckle and even Price approved the cheeky shot with a soft laugh.

“As I was saying, the physical therapy seems to have gone well. I’m glad you took your recovery so seriously. I’ll ask you, how are you feeling, Captain Price?”

Price took in a breath debating saying what he thought would get him the result he wanted but thought better of it. For all he knew that would backfire immediately. Interestingly, on top of Dr. Omar’s eyes, he felt a pair of deep browns burning holes in the side of his head without even turning to see them. Sighing, “I feel fine. Some days have been better than others and there’s soreness here and there. As much as I’d like to be in tip top shape, I know I’ve still got a way to go ‘til 100%, doc.”

Dr. Omar smiled. “I appreciate the honesty, Captain, and based on what I’m reading, I’m inclined to agree.”

A hand grasp and release of breath to his right that Price is sure was done subconsciously confirmed that Nik shared a similar sentiment.

“Knowing what I know about your field of work, your medical history, the state of recovery, your age,” Dr. Omar continued, pausing at Price’s disgruntled grunt at the reference to his age, “you know it’s a factor like any other, Captain, don’t shoot the messenger. Anyway, I think you’re clear to go back to light work. Nothing extensive, definitely nothing in the battlefield—“

“Desk duty.” Price summarized for her.

“Desk duty.” Dr. Omar confirmed with a nod. “But it is me allowing you back as soon as you’d like.”

“That would be now.” Nik half-joked.

“Well, then don’t let me stop you! Let me get you some reading material and see what alterations or additions need to be made to your prescriptions and then get you outta here, Captain!” With that, she handed Price a thin packet and left the room.

Price sighed in relief. Nik moved his hand to Price’s shoulder and brought him into a side hug before lowering his lips to Price’s temple. In Nik’s arms, knowing he was minutes from medical freedom—sorta, Price felt for the first time in two months some semblance of normal. Though, he could tell that Nik’s grip around him still had the same tension as before, as if he thought Price would slip from his grasp. It was a reminder that he couldn’t get comfortable yet, couldn’t let his guard down. He knew that the moment he did, he’d do something to fuck it all up again. He wouldn’t let himself, not after the shitshow that was the last eight weeks, and all the stress he put Nik through.

Price would make it right. He’d get better, he’d be a liability no longer. He had to.

[wr0temyway0ut]

When All My Friends Forget My Name (I Won't Go Back and Be the Same)

Summary: But it gets him thinking about what he’d do, if he couldn’t say his own name, what he’d have people call him. He can’t say he’s all that fond of the idea; it’s far too similar to before he’d gone to St. Hil’s, when he’d had to pretend to be a girl and not tell anyone the name that was truly his.

And then he gets to thinking about Edwin, about how the two of them only ever call each other by their full names and surely he must have had a nickname at some point, so he just blurts it out.

"Did your mates ever call you Eddie?"

Link in reblogs!

[salsedinepicta]

Draw the brother, and now the sister: Maren Hawke, repressed mage extraordinaire and fan of political scheming.

Plus some teenage angst:

[aprillikesthings]

So I took a little bigger bite of gummy than usual and THEN Daci insisted we watch like a half hour of tiktoks together that they'd saved (lol 90% of them were Arcane jokes, including King Princess repeatedly being a troll) so by the time I got in the shower I was already feeling it. So if my typing or sentences get weird or bad you know why

This is one of those episodes I've literally only watched twice tbh

oh hey it's my tumblr background (on desktop)

I forget why they were sleeping outside lol it doesn't matter

But Glimmer's right the person who snores loudest is always the one to fall asleep first

okay so when Adora first sees the sword and tells Catra she's like "are you brain damaged???" Adora tells Glimmer "I thought I saw something" and Glimmer's like "pssht whatever" can people stop dismissing Adora seeing shit lol (edit: foreshadowing. right.)

oh right Im watching this for Castaspella in my 60's fic lol

"I've never relaxed in my life" lol we know

I know she's not the focus of this episode I'm just happy to see her heyyyy bb

(also has anyone watched bits of this show so many times they can pick out the styles of specific storyboarders/animators? not that I know their names, but like "whomever did this scene did this other scene." anyway whomever did a few random bits of this episode worked on parts of Moment of Truth)

ALSO ahahah I caught the moment she reacts to Adora's name

...I need to learn how to edit vids, I still want to make one of every time one of them reacts to the other's name/voice, bc once you notice that they do it every time, you can't UNnotice

Catra: ugggh another Adora mission, fine, when do I leave? (like girl you are acting so reluctant but ahahah)

Shadow Weaver: Nope, I'm gonna do it myself. Clearly, no one else can be trusted to bring her back to the Horde, least of all you!

Man SW realllllly loves to rub into Catra's face that her attempts at getting Adora back haven't worked, that's gotta sting

SW's voice actor was so good

SW: creates a terrifying monster

Catra:

is terrified

writing her as a hippie/shop owner who is also a bit new-agey and ALSO, a wine aunt, is gonna be so funny and fun okay

"Oh, Light Spinner, she's just a scary tale for children" I mean....she does...scare children...

Adora has ADHD. Also Aimee had fun recording this I bet lol

Bow: sounds like this Shadow Weaver really did a number on you growing up

Anyone else reminded of the first time they told a story from their childhood and the other person reacted with horror? anyway

lol I remembered that SW pretended to be other people and taunted Adora in Catra's voice but I didn't remember when so I still fucking JUMPED when she did the "Hey, Adora"

TBH this episode's plot is half "so SW is an abusive piece of shit, and Adora and her friends are starting to realize this"

Gahhh the bit of SW talking with Catra's voice and saying "SW controls us both, she always has" is so fucking creepy. Bc she's acknowledging she's, well, controlling.

oh hey did you know that Hordak's voice actor also did Kino (Mel's brother) in Arcane

SW pretending to be Glimmer and Bow and being a huge asshole to Adora is hard to watch ahhh

The only thing worse is watching her do the extremely typical abuser speech, but ...the kind a partner usually gives, not a parent! "they don't understand you, only I do, your friends don't really like you, they're just using you, you can only trust me"

gyahhhhh

y'know....I just realized. She knew Catra and Adora were close. She blames Catra to some extent for Adora leaving. She has Catra try to get her back multiple times and fail.

Which means at this point she thinks their friendship was entirely one-sided. Like, she could've used Catra's voice to beg her to come home, and she didn't.

I hope for every abused kid to have this moment

"this is what SW does. She manipulates people, she pushes them apart." yeah

lol I couldn't get one where she wasn't making a weird face bc she's talking but eheheh

"If you want to take down Adora, you have to go for the heart." She's looking at Bow through that spying bowl but....CATRA. she misses YOU. she cares about them but she also cares about you :(

also THE HEART YOU SAY???? (was this intentional foreshadowing)

the next episode is Princess Prom, but I'm not watching that one tonight

As it is. I know social media is a minefield atm. Anyone who started watching the last three eps of Arcane the moment it dropped is done.

What's funny is that I intentionally spoiled myself for the last season of She-Ra because I knew I wouldn't be able to watch it for a few DAYS

but Arcane we're watching tomorrow, and I want to know SO BAD whether or not they fuck, but I want to find out when Daci does, via watching it!!!

So don't tell me anything.

Can’t wait to engage in one of my fave midnight hobbies: get high as balls and rewatch bits of She-Ra and sometimes post screenshots with overemotional/horny captions

[skeletalheartattack]

hi I like gelato a lot

[dizzying-faust]

If I could tell Puzzles fans the same way I tell [REDACTED] fans...

Just because a character has a tragic/sympathetic reasons for acting like what they are, doesn't mean they should be instantly redeemed nor that the people they hurt should instantly forgive them.

And I'm speaking as said Puzzles fan.

[the-thieves-gambit]

There was a moment where she wanted to argue just for the sake of arguing. It seemed like for some reason when she was with him, she always just wanted to prove him wrong. Not want to agree with him. His reasoning left her a little speechless, it wasn't like she didn't already know that about him already but something about him saying it seemed a bit sad. Knowing how often he always left, knowing that most were not patient enough for someone who led this life. And he had become her friend, so thinking about her friend longing for something, also seemed a bit sad. the argument that loving one person was setting yourself up for failure was also at the tip of her tongue but something told her to say something else. Something nice. But she could think of not what to say to that. So she said nothing. Nothing about how she's never met someone who could do that, though that was a lie, her best friend and Anna were proof. But they were a million in one chance, surely. Content with letting it slid this once, he needed his rest anyway, she pretended that she didn't hear him say that.

A suck choice. A chuckle came from her. Perhaps it was the darkness of the room that gave her some clarity, no distracting injuried body or emerald eyes to look into to forget the fact he didn't know her. For all the time that they spent together, whether it was her choice or not, he didn't know her. How many 'suck' choices had she had to make in the years since her fathers death? Tears had stung her eyes, but she swallowed them away. After settling with Anna and Charlie, the one thing she had never done before had began to creep in. Contemplating the things she did, the people she hurt, the things she stole, the many choices that she made until that point in her life. The one thing that ate away at her, was the fact that she did not regret a single choice. The monster she had become was a necessary survival choice and given the chance to do it all over again, she would do it all over again. Albeit, maybe a few changes here and there, but she would do it all again.

The morning shower had been a moment of clarity for her. She would take the day for herself. With Wally injured, he'd have to take it easy and she could truly spend this day for herself as it had been promised. She could go into town and play tourist. Just one day couldn't hurt, she even had the perfect outfit. A nice dress she hadn't used in a year.

Once she was dressed, she took her time doing her makeup and hair. In the middle of which she heard a voice. With a small sigh, she listened and realized what this meant. "Morning," she said through the door as she finished her task. "It wasn't an ick." She said as she opened the door to look for dress sandals. "It was just unexpected. And yes. His name is Nolan." Sitting on the couch she put them on as she sighed again. "This wasn't how I was planning on spending today but I'll go down to the beach and talk him up."

Once her sandals were on, she stood up and ran her hands down the front of her dress making sure that none of it had bunched up. "You know, you owe me. This was supposed to be a vacation, now I have to go and flirt with hot surfer guys to get you your kid." It was better to act like she didn't care, she learned that apathy would get her further, and caring would only slow her down and get her killed. She needed to get her head in the game, this was a different stadium and she did not have home-field advantage. "Do you need anything before I head out? I'm going to make some coffee and toast before I leave. Should I have Guillermo take you back to your room?"

"Well, how about a flamingo? They also have one mate until they die." he challenged half awake which made him laugh a little. She was about to get into a battle over animals who mated for life. "Mmm just like to love on one person."

He shook his head against the pillow as he spoke into it softly. "Not necessarily. Don't need to know each other. Makes it easier? I suppose but when you don't care there's a way." He had to have mentioned his thoughts on cheaters before. "That is still a suck choice."

Nothing could have him willingly get out of that nice dream he was having. Either his body was truly that exhausted or it had given up on him with the beat down he had taken not even a full twenty four hours ago. Still, hearing her voice and having this nice conversation made it easy for him to slip into sleep and stay there.

The incessant buzzing of his phone made him burrow deeper into the pillow not wanting any part of it. It kept buzzing into his ear like a bee not knowing when to stop. Finally, he patted the side where he had left his phone last night and pressed accept. His eyes were closed and before he got a word in he heard her voice. The ever shrill voice of his most hated person on the entire planet. She was loud and obnoxious and it didn't even dawn on him that he wasn't even in his room but in Liz's. Speaking of which his head snapped up looking for her and panic set in. Something that came out of nowhere and had helped drown out the yelling on the other end of the line. It wasn't until he looked over to the light coming from the bathroom that had him settle. If only briefly. This trip was not only fucking with his mind but also his heart.

His attention got pulled back to the phone as she had finished and sought the opportunity to hang up on her. "Fucking bitch." he set the phone down again this time wide awake and seeing that it wasn't even morning yet. At least he didn't feel his insides were about to gush out from him. Everything that had happened last night had come back to him and certain pieces came into focus.

As he got on a call with one of his contacts he started to play with the frayed ends of the pillows as they answered. Getting the information he wanted he started to type up the letters in his phone. Switching them around to see what other words could come out from that. The more he concentrated the more he laser focus he got.

"Hey, uh Liz?"his voice carried a softer undertone but also held a twinge of urgency. "Morning. Hey, what was the name of the people you met yesterday at the beach? Any had letters a or n in them? That guy you had an ick with," he didn't truly know if she did or not but he assumed. "Was he part of the group? I think I think they're the key to finding this kid." He was willing to bet his entire career on this. He knew he wasn't gonna be able to be Lennox at all for a few days so he was working a second angle. Something he could do without getting in the way of whatever her plan was. Which now that he thought about it, he'd ask her what exactly was her plan.

Was he supposed to be asleep? Yes. Was he going to go back to sleep? Not likely. His brain had turned back on and that meant his body would become restless until something was done.

[livvyofthelake]

once upon a time is fun because all these ancient fairytales literally happened 30 years ago. snow white? yeah she was doing all that about 30 years ago. hercules? fought cerberus around 1970. king arthur pulled excalibur from the stone AFTER the release of disney’s the sword in the stone. mulan saved china (china? magic china? unclear actually) about 35 years ago. and it slaps and makes total sense don’t even worry about it

[soft-serve-soymilk]

idk why my brain is suddenly hung up on torturing dism but i'm here for his fraught and tortured questions :)

[big-sis-milly]

Okay FINE I'll show you a more in depth example as to why I think using mama is hot

Kind of a long one but hear me out

One can only imagine a rough and tumble cowgirl, piercing eyes and a shot so fast you could've sworn she had six arms, revolvers in each hand. She only needs the one, though.

At some point in time she could have been called a hero, riding around and solving problems where she goes, until she fell off the face of the earth one day. Around the same time, a gang that she regularly scuffles with is growing exponentially. They took a whole town, and scared the cops into giving it to them.

There are rumors that the leader of the gang is a hypnotist, and reports of a new girl who carried the operation looking exactly like our cowgirl made people connect the dots. Obviously, the leader hypnotized our hero into doing this crimes! Right?

A cabin door closes with a creak as the cowgirl steps inside the hypnotists quarters. She looks tired, dusty, and spattered with blood. The hypnotist, dark and beautiful and still, beckons her cowgirl to come closer.

"You have done such a good job today dear, I'm very proud of you." Her voice is soft, but heavy, and it projects in a crowd like magic. She pats the space on the bed next to her. "Come, sit with me."

The cowgirl has an uneasy look on her face, she glances over at the hypnotist with a hint of suspicion. "I... don't want to. The innocent people you made me kill today, I could never..." She trailed off, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

The hypnotist clicked her tongue. "Still trying to play hero? Gosh, did my conditioning actually work, or are you just believing your own lies?"

"Wh- what do you mean by that..? What did you make me-" The cowgirl winced as she felt an ache in her forehead.

"Oh please, I don't want to hear any more nonsense about what I 'made you do'. What we agreed on was much more amicable for you than for me." Reaching into her bedside drawer, the hypnotist retrieves a piece of paper. "This is a contract you signed. You can check the writing all you want, I'm sure you'll find it's authentic."

Reluctantly, the cowgirl stomped over and snatched the paper out of the hypnotists hands. Her expression betrayed absolute horror; it was hers. It couldn't be, but it was. She read through each clause, easy to understand and short, but no wiggle room for a loophole she could see.

Not to mention, the clauses of this contract are weird, to say the least. It's kink negotiation. Safewords, rules on how far one can go during sex and impact play, and even a clause to only refer to the hypnotist as... No. No way in hell that's happening. But this last one here, that can't be true, she wouldn't have.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, my dear, but— I haven't hypnotized you to do my bidding." She said, her voice oozing a tainted kind of compassion. "I hypnotized you to forget signing this, though. Besides, not like I could just brainwash you against your will, we had to find something that you would agree to, I was merely following your wishes. 'Course, you didn't specify if I could just tell you what you forgot. Great with a gun, but you're lacking in negotiation."

"Rrgh, don't loop me into this! You had to have tricked me or something, I wouldn't have agreed to that! It's your fault!" Lightning quick, she unholstered her gun, pointing it right between the hypnotists unbothered eyes.

"As quick a draw as ever, love. What's the use if you can't pull the trigger?"

"Heh, is that your plan? You hypnotized me to not be able to shoot you? I don't have to aim at you to take you out, y'know that right?"

"Did you see anything in the contract that said that? No, silly, but I'm certain that you won't hit me. I mean, you're done. Scott-free to stay with me, not like you can help it right? You're under the hypnotists spell." She said with a cute er- over the top spooky voice.

"Why would I ever want to stay with you. Monster."

"Ah, that's not the name we agreed on, is it?"

The cowgirl's disgusted frown would've almost seemed believable if she wasn't blushing. "I didn't agree to nothing! I would never call you th-that, never have never will."

"But you did, my dear." The hypnotist sounded exasperated. "Okay, I think it's just easier to remind you at this point. Heel."

Without a single thought, the cowgirl fell into a lewd, humiliating squat, spreading her legs as far as they can go, her arms pulled up to her chest in a 'begging' gesture. Like a dog at the edge of the bed. "...Huh?"

"Good girl." Her voice considerably softened, speaking in a simple singsongy tone. "When I snap my fingers, I will allow you to remember what we did last night."

"W-what? What do you me-"

Snap.

The cowgirl gasped, struggling to keep herself upright as a dormant part of her brain was unlocked. She remembers now.

The hypnotist straddling your lap, slamming her hips down onto you as her adorable cock leaks onto your stomach. She feels so fucking good, her tight ass milking every drop of cum in your body. You love her, oh god you love her. You've been going at it for what feels like hours, but you just can't get enough.

She starts to slow down and you can't help but whine at the loss of your 5th orgasm for the night, you want to grab her and fuck the daylights out of this little tease until you both pass out, but that's against the rules, isn't it? No moving, she said. It feels better if you just do as she says, and she's right. You try to beg her to speed up, but she leans down into a kiss and slows herself even more. You're in heaven, nothing can compare to her.

As the cowgirl's vision returns, she sees the hypnotist sitting at the edge of the bed, smiling. "Did that jog your memory?"

"Uhm, ah..." She tries to control her breathing, but the recently discovered memory and the prominent tent in her pants is making it difficult. Her face begins glowing red with blush as she shifts herself unwittingly, trying to get any friction against her growing member. "I d-don't know what you're- mmph~ talking about!"

The hypnotist laughs, but she doesn't sound disappointed, more like she finds it endearing. She extends a hand and rests it on her cowgirl's cheek. "Don't be like that dear, I can see you're fit to burst already, aren't you? Is your cock just aching to be back inside me again?"

Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it. Finding a second wind within herself, the cowgirl glares at the hypnotist. "Go fuck yourself. I don't want nothing to do with you, so you can just let me go and I'll arrest you like I should have ages ago, okay Ma-" As soon as she let it slip, the cowgirl stopped herself, turning her head off to the side.

"Hm? Were you about to say something, pet?" The hypnotist cooed, her hand turning her cowgirl's face back to her before snaking further back to grab her hair lightly. She pulled, and her cowgirl followed, onto the nice, warm, comfy bed.

The cowgirl looked down at her hypnotist, whimpering and kissing her face desperately. A leg pressed gently into her crotch, and the mewl that came out finally broke her. "Mmh, Mamaaa~ P-please let me fuck you. I can't stand it, I need you more than anything in the whole world, please please please please-"

"No need to be so hasty, my love, be a good girl and take your time. We have all night to each other. Now, come and lose yourself to me."

She couldn't help but giggle like a little girl. "Hehe, okay Mama ❤️"

I have a heated on again off again relationship with the word "Mama" because on one hand I find the word reeeaaally funny (super mario's classic mama fucker line, just sounds silly in general, etc.) but I also think it's really hot (you know why. pervert.)

Additionally, I think there has to be a humorous connection between super mario's classic mama fucker line and incest but I don't know how to express that cleverly, so!

[chussyracing]

which livery are you most excited for?

ferrari since it's my one true love and always has been (also because last year's launch was the best ever launch i have ever seen from any team ever, so the expectations are set high). other than that i'm curious about williams, because i love the blue color and i'm a SUCKER for the duracell sponsorship part of ther livery (they better keep it)

[sexynetra]

@starrsbby tagged me in this post about 3 songs based on someone (or songs that make me think of them? I don’t remember fully) 💕 in following with the trends, I’m basing them off of my best friend @smorgana (happy birthday bbg you are the best thing that’s happened to my life our friendship is my cornerstone if u weren’t dating Ethan id marry u probably) 💕

Happy birthday again to my #1 ride or die, this post isn’t your real present but it’s a great coincidence that I forgot to make it for like 3 days and it fell on today :)

I’m gonna tag a few of my faves to do this too (if you want to) 💕

@anarciax3 @lady-assnali @saccadiic